the Rice Thresher Vol.XCI, Issue No. 17 SINCE 1916 Friday, January 30, 2004 Committee to consider alcohol policy changes

by Katherine Corley private party, which creates confusion among THRESH ER STAFF party hosts, chief justices and college courts. "Is a private party a six-pack and a pizza or Proposed changes to the Alcoholic Bever- is it 200 people out on a balcony with no age Policy could be instituted as soon as March, alcohol in sight?" Cox said. 'There's a lot of Alcoholic Beverage Policy Advisory Commit- ambiguity for hosts of private parties on how tee Chair Steve Cox said. ABPAC will consider to stay within the law." the changes at its next meeting. According to the current Alcoholic Bever- The most significant proposed change age Policy, a private party occurs when stu- would require each college to create a set of dents elect to privately consume or serve college-specific rules for what constitutes pub- alcohol. The policy stresses that underage lic and privates spaces. drinking laws apply, but that Rice University "The proposals are that, given the fact that Police Department officers will not interfere each college has its unique history, traditions if the party is not creating a disturbance. and architecture, it might be wise to ask indi- Martel College Chief Justice Anna vidual colleges to put before a review board Friedberg said this loose definition of a private what they believe constitutes a private party party will not change. under the alcohol policy," Cox, a Sid "[A party is private] in the sense that your Richardson College master, said. "The goal is neighbors should not know that you're having to try to fill in, college by college, what consti- a party," Friedberg, a senior, said. tutes a private party." If ABPAC decides to implement the pro- Cox, a computational and applied math- posed changes, colleges will be responsible ematics professor, said the Alcohol Policy for drafting their own guidelines, which will currently has no clear, practical definition of a See ALCOHOL, Page 8 \ No decision reached on JP*!- co-president amendment MATT CRNKOVICH/THRESHF.R by Jenny Rees The two senators absent from the meeting were Brown College senator Jerry Hopkins In the ZONE THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF and Jones College Senator J.P. Rodriguez. Junior guard Brock Gillespie looks for a shot as the student section looks on in a 76-73 After two weeks of discussion, the Student The amendment was proposed by Debbink Rice win over Hawaii Wednesday at Autry Court. The Owls, tied for first place in the Association Senate will vote Monday for the and Leggett, who promised during their cam- Western Athletic Conference, host last-place San Jose State tomorrow at 1:05 p.m. second consecutive meeting on whether to paign to address the issue of co-presidents at place a constitutional amendment on the Gen- the first SA meeting of the spring semester. eral Flections ballot requiring that the office At the Jan. 12 meeting, when the proposed of the SA president be held by a single amendment was announced to the senate, person. The senate voted on the proposed Debbink and D-ggett led a discussion on Patriots stop Rice practices amendment at its meeting Monday, and the whether co-presidents should be allowed. amendment did not pass, but the senate but They presented their opinions on the posi- decided to vote again on the issue because two tive aspects of a co-presidency. Debbink and AFC champions move to Texans' indoor practice bubble senators were not present. Ixggett said co-presidents can offer two per- the Patriots practice there Wednesday, Thurs- Seventeen of the 22 voting members voted spectives on issues and can accomplish more by David Brown day and Friday." in favor of the amendment, but this total was than a single person by combining their time THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF The NFC Champion Carolina Panthers, as one vote short of the four-fifths supermajority and energy of Wednesday, had remained at their Univer- required to place it on the ballot for approval Those in attendance gave their opinions on After practicing Monday the wet Rice prac- sity of Houston practice facility, though rain by the SA at large. the negative aspects of co-presidents. They tice field, the AFC Champion New England Thursday or Friday could cause them to move In a roll-call vote, three college sena- said co-presidents might have difficulty main- Patriots have unexpectedly moved into "the the bubble as well, Aiello said. tors—Sid Richardson College senator Manish taining consistency in their positions on issues bubble," the Houston Texans' FieldTurf prac- Rice Director of Athletics Bobby May said Agrawal, Hanszen College senator Ian or might be less efficient than a single person tice facility, for the remainder of their pre- the Patriots used the Rice football practice Fverhart and Martel College senator Trey because of the energy used in communicating Super Bowl practices. field, locker room and fitness center for their Smith — voted against placing the amend- with each other. Some also said administrators NFL Vice President of Public Relations weight training Monday. ment on the ballot. Voting members of the might take co-presidents less seriously than a Gary Aiello said the Patriots may have had May said it was the opportunity to use the senate are the SA external and internal vice single president. concerns about the quality of Rice's field and bubble — not an inadequate Rice field — that presidents, secretary and treasurer; the nine Those arguing against the constitutional that they saw the opportunity to use the Tex- prompted the Patriots' decision. college presidents; and the nine college sena- amendment said students voting in the Gen- ans' excellent facility as too good to pass up. tors. SA co-presidents Bryan Debbink and eral Flections should be allowed to choose the "It was simply a matter of rain over the "There was nothing about the field," May Michael Leggett have a single vote, which most promising candidate, which could be a weekend making the practice field less than said." [The NFL] has been in here many weeks, they cast only in the event of a tie. Sec AMENDMENT, Page 7 ideal," Aiello said. "Since we had the Texans' if not months, preparing the facility." practice facility available, we decided to have See PATRIOTS. Page 8 Treehouse still in quad INSIDE Entrance closings OPINION Page 3 by Ian Fverhart Camacho said he was surprised but Making high school kids grovel Due to tightened security for the Super Bowl THRESHER STAFF delighted when he learned about the treehouse. weekend, Rice will be closing all gates except for A&E Page 12 Constructing the treehouse in the "I think what the students did those at Entrances 8 and 11 from 5 a.m. today until Our fa vorite bimbo northwest corner of the academic was absolutely marvelous," 10 p.m. Sunday. Entrance 13 will be open for only quad took only two hours, one of its Camacho said. "I loved it. It was inbound traffic today from 5 a.m. until 2 p.m. Addi- SPORTS Page 17 builders said. The student, who whimsical, fun and funny." tionally. all cars without Rice parking permits will iMrry the Lizard: Rice's Super Bowl hero asked that his name be withheld, One of the treehouse's builders have to go through a screening process in order to said about 12 people worked to build said they dedicated the "study loft" enter campus. the structure in the early morning to Camacho to recognize his dedica- hours of last Monday. tion to students. Quote of the Week The treehouse, located in a tree "Dr. Camacho gives the adminis- Petitions due today "Having strangers in the building for profit is not an between Fondren Library and Ander- tration a human face, a human Petitions for the Student Association General ethical way to conduct yourself. I'm dead set against it. son Hall, consists of a ladder leading touch," the builder said. "He makes Elections are due today at noon at the SA office. It's a dumb idea." up to a platform surrounding the it a point to get to know the students — Sid Richardson College Master Steve Cox, on the main trunk of the tree on three sides. and shows genuine concern. We dangers of subletting one's room. See Story, Page 7. thought a creative study spot would Weekend Weather The platform, measuring 90 square Scoreboard feet, does not have a railing or other be a fitting honor." Friday Women's Basketball safety devices. The builder said the students built Mostly sunny, 69-48 degrees Saturday Nevada 49. Rice 78 the treehouse because they thought A small plaque dedicating the Mostly sunny, 69-53 degrees Men's Basketball treehouse to Vice President for Stu- they would enjoy it. Sunday Hawaii 73, Rice 76 dent Affairs Zenaido Camacho is at- "We thought it a challenge, some- Rain, 70-53 degrees Rice 76, Nevada 101 tached to the platform near the ladder. Sec TREEHOUSE, Page 8 2 THE RICE THRESHER OPINION FRIDAY, JANUARY 30,2004 the Rice Thresher

Alcohol Policy changes should be clear, simple $ We appreciate that the Alcohol Policy changes being considered by the Alcoholic Beverage Policy Advisory Committee are, in theory, a good idea. (See Story, Page 1.) Current definitions of public and private space are ambiguous, and some degree of clarification would benefit students, the Rice University Police Department and other members of the Rice community. However, we worry that the changes will involve too many R obscure rules to constitute an improvement over the current situa- Hey Thaddius! tion. We fear college-specific definitions of public and private space m We got that check will be poorly understood and, thus, poorly honored by students. for the room! And the same may hold true for RUPD officers, who enforce the current policy but who do not seem to have mastered an understand- ing of it. RUPD's institutional memory may be too short for complex Well bless regulations to be effective. w my tater tots! We hope that any clarifications will be kept as simple as possible and will be disseminated widely so that they help rather What ding-a-ling than hinder. forked over five Of course, differing definitions between colleges is not the only thousand bucks? problem with the Alcohol Policy. While ABPAC is considering changes to the rules, it should also look into the effectiveness of the enforcement Some guy of the rules. It often seems that the policy is unevenly and arbitrarily named Rodrigo implemented on a case-by-case basis by those who enforce it, and we Montano... hope ABPAC will make an effort to do something about that. Students, now is the time to air your comments on the Alcohol Policy. Speak to your college president and chief justices to let them ...it s funny. know what you like and do not like (either a president or a chief justice represents each college on ABPAC). Similarly, we hope that presidents and chief justices will seek out students at their colleges. weekend As with any major issue debated on this campus, the broader the input, the better. It ensures the new policy will be well supported, which in turn will ensure that it is generally followed.

Involve students in OCD co-president decision ©O Q Amendments to the United States Constitution are not directly voted on by the general public. That's a good thing: the public is LETTERS TO THE EDITOR irrational and so large that truly informing a decent number of them any, is whether secularism is a lionth burger in who knows where about a critically important issue is impossible. But Rice students are Proposed hijab ban good doctrine or not, not whether while providing a foreign dollar for a not irrational, nor are they veiy numerous. They should be trusted misinterpreted as bias symbols of any religion can be coaster. to choose whether to add an amendment to the Student Association worn in public schools in a secu- A pact by all minorities in America lar country. is the solution to finding equality, Constitution banning co-presidents. To the editor: A motion to include an amendment limiting the office of SA but I fear the majority of non-black Regarding Noorain Khan's criti- Ozgur Inal minorities don't truly understand president to a single individual on the General Elections ballot fell cisms of France for banning the Economics graduate student that King's dream was just as much short by one vote in the SA Senate Monday, partially due to two Muslim head scarf hijab in public for them as it was for me and, for that absentees. (See Story, Page 1.) The senate should pass the motion schools ("Proposed French ban at- matter, white Americans as well. tacks personal choice," Jan. 23): Al- Racism, King both when it votes again next week; the issue of whether co-presidents though whatyou will read may seem Philip Moore should be allowed is one that affects the entire student body, and the to be a defense of France, that is not poorly understood U/vett junior entire student body should decide on it. my intention. My aim is to stress Some wish to leave the question up to the senate and not the student that using religious symbols in pub- To the editor: body — probably not because they think Rice students are irrational, lic areas contradicts secularism. Stephen Bor's column ("Wake Contrary to what can be up; King's dream still long way off," CONTACTING THE but instead because they probably think the average Rice student is inferred from Khan's article, ban- Jan. 23) refueled my belief that equal- uninformed about the pros and cons of having co-presidents. ning hijab would generally free ity is still not yet alive in America, THRESHER But at a small school, there is plenty of opportunity to educate a women rather than putting pres- but I question if equality devoid of Letters sizable portion of constituents. If the SA puts its mind to it, it can sure on them. In most cases, racial seclusion is truly obtainable. generate interest in the issue and draw a reasonably large and well- women wear a hijab because they "Neighborhoods are [still | seg- • Letters to the editor are pressured to do so. regated," as Bor points out, but I should be sent to the Thresher informed voter pool. For example, publicity of last spring's proposed To give an example, a Turkish don't know if this is form following by e-mail to thresher@rice. cdu. Honor Council changes drew intense debate and a high turnout. French citizen sued her own fa- the function of socioeconomic dis- Letters must be received by It is selfish of members of the senate to attempt to keep the co- ther because he was pressuring parity or function following a form of 5 p.m. on the Monday prior to president question under wraps. An open and informed vote is the her to wear her hijab. cultural preservation. a Friday publication date. best way to resolve this critical debate. Khan also accuses France of It's too simple to say that the • All letters to the editor targeting non-French religion (Is- reason people have never been must be signed and include a lam, in particular) with this law. across Highway 288 is racism. With phone number. Yet in Turkey, where more than the Gap and the likes of • Letters should be no 99 percent of the population is "Artfulbigotry & Kitsch" just a drive longer than 250 words in Tree huggers: Try again Muslim, wearing a hijab is pro- away with Mommy and Daddy's length. The Thresher reserves hibited in government offices and credit card, where is the incentive the right to edit letters for The tree house in the academic quad is just the kind of thing that gives in any public school (including for Rice students to give up cultural both content and length. Rice its distinctive character. (See Story, Page 1.) It's fun and creative, and universities). comfort for a meal at Frenchy's it's a great study-place (or copulation spot). We applaud the shadow Is Turkey "targeting a Turkish Chicken on Scott Street? Rice stu- News Tips religion"? No, Turkey is a secular dents seem to be as culturally lazy construction crew and hope to see the tree house stick around. • Tips for possible news sto- country, and this is what secular- as they are "aware." ries should be phoned in to Unfortunately, it is becoming structurally unsound, and Facilities ism suggests. Too often accusations of racism the Threshers (713) 348-4801. and Engineering may be forced to act. While its clandestine and tree- Secularism, by definition, prohib- are waived because someone has conscicus construction is part of its appeal, the students responsible its exhibition of religious symbols that "one [insert race] friend." The Subscribing (or others) should work with F&E to make a permanent — and in public areas. This is not to put only way someone will ever respect • Annual subscriptions are pressure on some religious groups, available for $50 domestic and structurally sound — tree house a reality. Perhaps an Envision Grant culture is by contributing to it. but rather to protect people against Bor speaks truths with regard to $105 international via first proposal is in order. discrimination. the internationalization of America's class mail. The final location of the tree house does not matter, as long as we And secularism is "tolerant of money. While the reality of 43 bul- Advertising ensure that future generations can knock a few points off their purity other worldviews" for sure. Anyone lets in Amado Diallo — a West m We accept display and scores at the hottest hook-up spot since 180. can practice any religion, as long as African immigrant shot by New York the practice does not contradict with City Police in 1999 — is still over- classified advertisements. Unsigned editorials represent the majority opinion of the Thresher secularism. looked, lazy non-activists allow the Please contact the Thresher editorial staff. The issue to discuss, if there is United States to sell its one mil- for more information. THE RICE THRESHER OPINION FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004 Read it, don't weep Admissions should not be interest-based Rice Voices a I believe an internship with X One factor was ranked higher for fear that the "BS meter" would Media ignores civil would be an excellent fit with my than I expected (and hoped). go off in admission offices around interests, abilities and goals." Ah, Thirty percent of colleges con- the country. how I loathe writing sentences like sider a student's "demonstrated Instead, I might have only ap- liberties infringements those. interest" in the school to plied to selective schools that I felt It's an unfortunate re- be moderately or consid- strongly about, and about which I The word "patriotism" certainly has stripping its citizens of their civil ality of the "real world" erably important; inter- could honestly demonstrate a genu- positive connotations in America. A liberties because these liberties that the jobs students ap- est ranks ahead of sub- ine interest. In that case I would patriot is an avid supporter of Ameri- compose the bedrock of American ply for during and after ject tests (Advanced probably now be at a state school can values, beliefs and principles, values and principles which the pa- college often require an Placement, International with an admissions formula (a school and is proud to bear this triot holds so dear. Baccalaureate, SAT II), indication of a passion- that I was sure didn't care about my name. Indeed, patriotism Bush's second objec- among other factors. ate and specific interest demonstrated interest) because al- has become a widely ap- tionable proposal would in that job. Since it is The trend is accentu- though I came the closest to falling preciated virtue in post- increase funding for generally an absurd ex- ated among colleges that in love with Rice, I never actually fell 97 11 American culture. I public high schools to pectation that an 18- to Nathan accept fewer than 50 per- in love with a school. I do love Rice am a patriot and I hope establish drug-testing 22-year-old have any such cent of their applicants. now, but for reasons I could never that you are too. programs for students well-formed vision of his Black Sixteen percent of such have anticipated or expressed when In his recent State of wishing to participate in future — and even if the colleges assign "consid- I was 17. the Union address, Presi- extracurricular activities. specific vision exists, one erable importance" to There is nothing wrong with con- dent George W. Bush The President's pro- is still often forced to apply for many demonstrated interest, while only sidering interest, but wit 1 \ less weight. proposed two legislative posed 2005 budget will imperfect jobs — we just lie. We BS. Robert 5-7 percent of less selective col- Every college is unique to some ex- programs to Congress include an allocation of We play the game. leges do likewise. tent, and I think a student who has a that blatantly trample the Moore $23 million for this. Just like in the postgraduate job preference for (not an obsession with) valuesand principles that Such drug testing and summer internship market, a school deserves the advantage in a a true patriot treasures pegs all students as this desire for specific interest tie-breaker situation. most while disguising these pro- suspects. In addition, some of the I never actually fell in leads to plentiful BS-ing. Even if a But valuing demonstrated inter- posals in the semantics of patrio- students who wish to engage in kid finds a school that is a great fit est too highly sends the wrong tism. What amazes me is that, in all after school activities may be dis- love with a school. I do for him (based on necessarily ig- message to high school students of the recent media commentary couraged: they, along with their love Rice now, hut for norant criteria), if he is applying to (who are less likely than college and analysis of the speech, these parents and many other Americans, selective colleges he has to apply students to shrug off such a mes- proposals have been largely ignored. may feel that their bodily fluids are reasons I could never to a few peer schools, "safety" sage): You must have a fairly Such apathy must stop. It is a private matter. Furthermore, schools and "reach" schools specific long-term plan to be worthy the responsibility of every citizen those students who do use drugs have anticipated or as well. That is precisely why I used of a good college; in an increasingly to protect the rights upon which might be unwilling to get involved roughly the same "why I would be competitive college admissions en- this nation is founded. Indiffer- in extracurricular activities and are expressed when I good for ..."essay at Rice, Oberlin vironment, your credentials may not ence may cause the erosion of the thus left to their drug use. Urinat- College, Whitman College and matter if you cannot force yourself freedoms and liberties that make ing in a cup is quite different from was 17. Macalester College. (I hope this to adore a school. our nation so great. having your locker searched. The column doesn't get my admission Such pressure could lead to some The first proposal was for the former much more clearly involves rescinded.) unhealthily narrow-minded deci- renewal of the USA Patriot Act, most a cession of bodily privacy. Unlike the postgraduate job and sions on where to go — based upon ofwhich is set toexpire Dec. 31,2005. These proposals have two things That's life, I guess. But it summer internship market, though, similarly unhealthy decisions on As you may remember, the Patriot in common. First, they both involve shouldn't happen to high school the players of the game — high- where it is even worth applying. And Act is legislation that was rushed questionable government infringe- students when they are applying schoolers — are younger, more that's not what a college search through Congress in the immediate ment on the fundamental rights of for college. impressionable and more confused. should be like; it should be broad, aftermath of 9/11. Its aim was to citizens. Second, in all of the discus- The National Association for Col- Considering interest important under bold and self-educating. bestow the government with pow- sions after the State of the Union lege Admissions Counseling recently these conditions is dangerous. (riving high value to interest is ers that are "necessary" to success- address, neither proposal has re- reported the relative importance of For example, if I had known in unrealistic and silly in the early job fully combat terrorism. ceived the attention it deserves. The factors in college admission, as mea- high school that my "why I would be market and it is unrealistic, silly and Not long after its passage, how- limited coverage of the renewal of sured by the percentage of U.S. col- good for ..."essays could be consid- dangerous in college admissions. ever, the Patriot Act became the the Patriot Act has included a men- leges who considered these factors to ered more highly than my AP and Just let kids be kids — impulsive, topic of heated political debate. tion on Comedy Central's'TVie Daily be of "moderate" or "considerable" SAT II scores at many of the schools confused bad decision-makers who Many believe that the law empow- Show," a few minutes on Fox News importance. Not surprisingly, grades to which I was applying, I might are perfectly capable of figuring out ers the government to trample civil and tiny articles buried in 'lite New in college-prep courses topped the list have done things differently. I might their lives later. liberties. The Patriot Act's provi- York Times and other papers. It's with 89 percent of colleges givingthem not have feigned strong interest in sions for increased electronic- hard to find coverage on the drug- high consideration; SAT/ACT scores the schools to which I applied (and Nathan Black is a Lovett College surveillance powers, the indefinite testing issue at all, except for an- followed at 86 percent. in which I was somewhat interested), sophomore and opinion editor. detention of terrorist suspects, other mention on "Hie Daily Show." closed Foreign Intelligence Sur- My point here is not to convince veillance Act court hearings, and you that only my view is correct. Getting paid to tell stories the ease with which government Rather, my aim is to highlight the officials can gain access to library dangers of political apathy. Ameri- records, credit card statements, can freedoms demand greater at- airline records and so on are tention than short news segments. Lessons in risk-taking from children among the most controversial. The media has mostly ignored Granted, our nation is currently these proposals. Hie ultimate cost could do about it. That way, I was less to be with them, because they I like learning again. A lot. involved in a war against terrorism. of such indifference may be unre- safe. I wasn't going to take any are so accepting of everybody, no I'm not sure exactly how it hap- It is essential that our government strained infringement on the liber- chances, and thus, there would be no matter what. Pretty soon, that could pened, or when, but I think it has to take the steps necessary to ensure ties at the core of American polity— way I could possibly look bad. I change for them, as it did for me. do with this group of (> to 11-year- that a tragedy of a similar magni- the very rights and freedoms on thought I had to be really But maybe I can teach them at least olds I work with. At tude to 9/11 never strikes our which a patriot prides himself. good at everything. just one thing in exchange for all Montessori Counry Day nation again. It is also essential, The kids I work with they have taught me: to try every- School, they call me "Ms. however, that our government does Robert Moore is a Sid Richardson have shown me otherwise, thing, regardless of your skills. Nishta," and think I am not attempt to solve the problem by College junior. one of their teachers, but, especially the younger of course, I know better. ones. They are so alive and Nishta Mehra is a Baker College junior. They are teaching me. so fully engaged at school 'ITianks to them, I get because they love being excited about going to my there. They can't wait to get own classes, instead of new lessons, to master new The Rice Thresher, the official student trying to figure out which Nishta skills and try new things, newspaper at Rice University since 1916, is days I can strategically lliey want to research ev- the Rice Thresher published each Friday during the school year, Mehra except during examination periods and skip. Back at my apart- erything on the Internet so — ment, I find myself actu- they can have even more holidays, by the students of Rice University. facts under their belts. ally doing the reading for my classes Mark Berenson Editorial and business offices are located — even some of the optional pages They have shown me what I have Editor in Chief on the second floor of the Ley Student Center, and passages. I've also done some missed by shutting myself out of doz- 6100 Main St., MS-524. Houston. TX 77005- work ahead of time. It's almost scary; ens of opportunities, and have taught 1892. Phone (713) 348A801. Fax (713) 348- BACKPAGE NEWS 5238. E-mail: [email protected]. Web page: I barely recognize myself. me how silly I was to be afraid and Jenny Rees. Editor Danny Blanco. Editor www. ricethresher. org. For as long as I can remember, I how much fun everything is. David Brown, Ass/. Editor Lucas Ogden-Davis, Editor Alana Newell, Page Designer have done just what I knew I needed Annual subscription rate: $50 domestic, to do to get by. Projects that I worked COPY OPINION Melissa Bailey, Editor $105 international. Nonsubscription rate: first hard on were the ones at which I Nathan Black, Editor F.laine Lee. /tssf. Editor copy free, second copy $5. knew I could succeed or surpass James Sulak, Ass/. Editor Vivian Wiener. .Assf. Editor others. I played to my strengths and They have shown me The Thresher reserves the right to refuse avoided my weaknesses, rarely SPORTS PHOTOGRAPHY any advertising for any reason. Additionally, what I have missed by Jonathan Yardley, Senior Editor Stuart Sinclair, Editor moving out of my comfort zone. the Thresher does not take responsibility for Dylan Hedrick, Editor Katie Streit. Editor the factual content of any ad. Printing an Rachel Davis. Asst. Editor Nobody knows (his about me, shutting myself out. Amber Obermeyer, Ass/. Editor advertisement does not constitute an really. My system worked so well for Adam Tabakin, Asst. Editor endorsement by the Thresher. so long because I still managed to Michelle Brock. Boxseores Editor BUSINESS Polly D'Avignon, Business Manager Unsigned editorials represent the majority get good grades, be involved in ac- ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Debbie Miller. Asst. Business Manager tivities and get into a great school Th.ey don't care if I'm no good at Carly Kocurek, Editor C.W. McCullagh. Payroll Manager opinion of the Th resher editorial staff. All other like Rice. I was full of reasons and basketball — they just want me to Jon Schumann, Editor Einily Jones, Distribution Manager opinion pieces represent solely the opinion of excuses for why I did not do certain Jennifer Quereau, Page Designer Parul Patel, Subscriptions Manager the author. The Backpage is satire. play with them. If I make a mistake Margaret Xu. Office Manager things — no sports because "I'm not helping them do division, no matter. CALENDAR The Th resher is a member of the Associated athletic." I didn't like math because Instead, it's just a chance for them to Erika Acheson, Editor ADVERTISING Collegiate Press and the Society of Professional "It's not my thing." teach me one more thing. Cameron Day, Editor Ethan Varela, Ads Manager Journalists. And I have no demonstrated Matt Hamilton, Ass/. Ads Manager And I thought that was the way They do not feel they should be interest in it. Catherine Adcock, Features Editor Gretchen Raff, Classified Ads Manager things really were. I convinced my- embarrassed when they get it wrong © COPYRIGHT 2004 self that I intrinsically sucked at math or wear mismatched socks or acci- John Donaleski, Cartoonist Jack Hardcastle, Online Editor and sports, and there was nothing I dentally burp out loud. It is so effort- .'V *

Page design by Catherine Adcock Baseless Bush-bashing Illustration by John Donaleski CBS stuck to its principles. It apologized for letting them through said it won't air "issue" ads during the screening process. Sunday's Super Bowl, and they re- But this type of moderation didn't jected an understated indictment of characterize the entirety of the or lucid liberalism? "Creep." But if the country really President George W. Bush-bashing project. efit the rich; Halliburton owns Bush. support Bush." It's an easy thing to believe when you have just emerged didn't support Bush, the MoveOn Bush, even though spon- MoveOn's weaknesses These make for great sound bites, from a room that erupted into cheers ads wouldn't really be necessary. sor MoveOn would have and the weaknesses of which can be effective. After all, Re- when Moby announced he was speak- The centrists that rule the politi- paid the more than many celebrity activists publicans repeated "liberal media ing from the perspective of Bush cal landscape of America aren't $2 million needed to were showcased at the bias" so much that it spawned a when he sings, "I'm a creep/I'm a convinced that Bush is a creep broadcast the ad. star-encrusted "Bush in network: Fox News. weirdo," a line from Radiohead's (though they might think he's a CBS will air an anti- 30 Seconds" awards cer- weirdo), and I'm doubtful sound- smoking spot, an AIDS emony Jan. 12. Celebrities aren't bited, Bush-bashing will change piece and an advertise- While the inherent that, especially when it materializes ment from the White purpose of the cer- known for their from the mouths of rock stars, ac- House Office of National emony was to present tresses and comedians. Drug Control Policy, but Catherine the winners, the entire educational they say those don't fit Adcock evening was centered on background or But that doesn't mean it should underneath the banner criticizing, in every man- stop. Bush-bashing serves as a ral- lying point for a reenergized left. of issues. ner possible and some extensive library Liberals deserve to have angry soi- The impressive project that you might not have thought of, the collections. rees on par with those thrown by produced the ad not worthy for White House. the conservative Heritage Foun- the Super Bowl, "Bush in 30 Artists like RufusWainwrightand dation. It adds momentum to Seconds," was blemished by con- comedians like Margaret Cho the left side of things. troversy—something well-known presented politically charged per- But for celebrities, such sound to the celebrity activists that backed formances to a cheering audience bites come off more like unedu- On top of that, celebrity it. These stars boast political weak- between each award. The host, co- cated boasts and less like logic- names add a lot of energy and nesses themselves. median Janeane Garofalo, mixed in based maxims. press coverage to a move- They lack an understanding that her own anti-Bush commentary be- When Garofalo ends a bit on ment. Actor Richard Gere the non-urbanite, non-activist world tween presentations. health care with a cryptic, "We've turned "Free Tibet" into a doesn't necessarily think Bush is Like Elizabethan bear-baiting, got to stop media consolidation," household phrase. Sure, they're bad; some "ordinary" people have to Bush-bashing is an act enjoyed by people like me, who agree without a little rough around the edges, be convinced. many of today's elite and subse- question, will cheer on the non se- but celebrities are serving a key role in a renaissance of leftist politics. The online group MoveOn quently the awards ceremony was quitur. Centrist non-urbanites who (http://www.moveon.org), the spon- rife with it. Some do it quietly while don't think Clear Channel is inher- But they could be more sensitive sor of "Bush in 30 Seconds," asked the Garofalos of the world don't hold ently evil won't buy the one-liner, to the fact that the whole world isn't its members to submit their own back, letting their liberal anger spew especially coming from a comedian. on board. We're facing celebrity ac- anti-Bush spots in an effort to find forth like a drunken frat boy hug- However, If it were New York Times tivist overload, and only by doing messages born from non-politicos. ging a toilet. columnist William Satire saying it, something truly original or making This resulted in a staggering It's no surprise celebrities are as they might react differently. an extremely lucid appeal, can these 1,500 submissions, l,000ofwhichare enthusiastic as the hippies that turn If celebrities were just rallying celebrities really draw positive viewable at the organizations' website, the gears of massive non-profits such the radical troops — preaching to attention to their point and earn cred- http://www. bushin30seconds. com. as Amnesty International. Both the the choir — it'd be great. After all, * ibility. Sound bites only work for a celebrities and the hippies share a the "Bush in 30 Seconds" award few (like Gere). world outlook that involves us hur- ceremony wasn't inherently in- For others, the need to include dling towards a neo-conservative tended to convince anyone of more information than simply say- The Garofalos of the apocalypse, which generates a de- anything — only MoveOn members b ing Bush is a "big, fat fucking world don't hold sire to do everything possible to could buy tickets. HSW3UKKH- liar," like Moby did at the avoid the end of the world. The en- But add in the millions of dol- 0-sms award presentation. back, letting their thusiasms this generates lars and celebrity backing associ- {£? As Eli Pariser, founder liberal anger spew The liberal stars have their hearts ated with "Bush in 30 Seconds" of MoveOn, said, "The in the right place — trying to save and you've got a press spec- •£USRr truth is the surest way to forth like a drunken the world — but going on a crusade tacle complete with a play- people's hearts." So in- frat boy hugging a makes them appear as zealots, inter- by-play on Salon.com, stead of accusing Bush jecting political commentary into transcripts published by of being a liar, talking toilet. nonpolitical events, like when Meryl the Drudge Report, and % about the ways in which he Streep interjected commentary on coverage in multiple na- CUTS\ lied is generally going to be Bush's State of the Union speech tional newspapers, more effective. MoveOn members chose their into her own Golden Globe award People magazine and on &3 I believe celebrities can be- favorite submissions and a celebrity acceptance speech. network television. come better cheerleaders panel, which included musician But more important than Either the movers and for liberal causes. The ad Moby and actor Jack Black, picked a overzealousness, celebrities aren't shakers behind the advertis- T^UJON selected by the celeb- winner from those voted into the known for their educational back- ing competition didn't real- TXUAK & rity panel to win the top 14 spots. The winning ad, ground or extensive library collec- ize the publicity it would re- T^CFICITI "Bush in 30 Seconds" competition, was simple, "Child's Pay," was broadcast tions. They lack the credibility to ceive, or they didn't under- \ 30 times on CNN during the week of just say, "This is what I believe, you stand how different the out- even poetic. the State of the Union, though it should too." They have to justify side world viewing the cer- Created by a fiscal - v &L won't be seen Sunday. their assertions. emony through their home- -— conservative, it made the Conservatives criticized the It's a hard thing to realize. As an town newspapers was. not-so-radical point that project heavily; two of the thousand activist or a liberal urbanite, like Many of the presenters told someone children — is going to ads compared Bush to Hitler. How- minded people surround you. Salon.com that the country was have to work off the trillion dollar ever, no one at MoveOn argued Certain inalienable truths are estab- experiencing a liberal surge. debt that tax cuts and expensive that these extremist ads were ap- lished among you and your cohorts: Author and filmmaker Michael wars have led our government into. propriate. Instead, the organization Corporations are bad; Tax cuts ben- Moore said, "The people do not It shows scenes of elementary- aged kids working blue collar jobs followed by white text on a black The Baker Institute for Public Policy is seeking screen that reads, "Guess who's go- applicants for its new Washington DC summer internship ing to pay off President Bush's $1 trillion deficit?" program. The program will provide stipends sufficient to higher support Rice undergraduates conducting policy-making Instead ot accusing research at government agencies and private think tanks and MCAT score NGOs in DC in summer 2004. Those accepted must Bush of being liar, participate in a seminar on public policy and global affairs talking about the coterminous with their internships (with 3 credit hours for guaranteed ways in which he's non-graduating undergraduates, pending approval of lied is generally university administration). Applicants are responsible for or your money back" establishing internships and residency in DC, with assistance going to be more by the Baker Institute when appropriate. Interested students MCAT classes are starting soon. Enroll today! effective. should send the following materials by Feb. 14 to Steven January 17 (meets Wed & Fri at 2pm) Lewis, Washington internship committee, Baker Institute, January 24 (meets Sat & Wed at 6pm) Sadly, the ad won't make it to MS-40: Super Bowl Sunday. Then again, January 25 (meets Sun & Thu at 6pm) negative publicity is sometimes the best kind of publicity. But that mil- 1. A letter of application with your campus and home Febuary 8 (meets Sun, Tue & Thu at 6pm) lions of average Americans will have addresses, telephone number and e-mail to go online to view the ad is too bad. 2. A short essay of no more than 600 words describing Houston Kaplan Center "Child's Pay" isn't angry, it your career goals, your internship plans, and how doesn't predict the end of the world World Leader In Test Prep and, most importantly, it doesn't these tie in with the mission and policy research of and Admissions make any references to Hitler. the Raker Institute It's a picce that will resonate with Attend all required classes or make up sessions, 3. A resume complete all scheduled tests, and do your homeworv the left, the center and possibly even If your score doesn't improve on test day from your A. An official transcript Kaplan diagnostic or a prior official test score, you the right of America. Maybe the can choose to repeat our program for free or get a celebrities can get their message 5. One letter of recommendation from an individual who full refund of your tuition To be eligible for this offer, you must be enrolled in Kaplan s full classroom, out effectively after all. can discuss your ability to conduct policy research. tutoring, or online courses In addition, you must pre sent an official copy of your score report and submit 1-800-KAP-TEST Questions should be addressed to [email protected] your course matenals within 90 days kaptest.com/premed Catherine Adcock is a Martel College senior and features editor. THE RICE THRESHER NEWS FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004 New Jones RA resigns from position STUDENT ASSOCIATION The Student Association met Monday. The following were discussed. by Risa Gordon Thorns said. select the Thomses as RAs in the • SA co-Presidents Bryan Debbink and Michael Leggett, both Wiess THRESHER STAFF Thorns said she intends to remain fall. Though the committee has less a Jones associate and may reapply for time now, she said, the committee College seniors, will continue to present their State of the University Melanie Thorns, a chemistry pro- an RA position in the future. will not rush the search process. Address at college government meetings. They will give the speech at Sid Richardson College Tuesday, Jones College Wednesday, fessor, has resigned her position as Jones College President Reed "What's most important in this Brown College Feb. 10 and Hanszen and Wiess Colleges Feb. 11. a resident associate at Jones for per- Macy said Thorns' decision to re- decision is what's best for sonal reasons. sign was a loss to Jones because of Jones — what's best for us as a col- • Petitions to run for office in the SA General Elections are due today In November, the Jones search the Thomses' extroverted person- lege, and however long it takes to at noon. They are available at the SA office in the Student Center. committee chose Thorns and her alities, interest in helping students make that decision is going to be what • Leggett announced that he and Debbink met with Housing and husband Bob to replace current RA and an open-door policy. it takes," Whitmire said. "We're not Dining Director Mark Ditman to discuss food quality. Ditman has J. J. Roton when his term ends at the "I completely support her deci- going to rush through anything just hired a consultant to make recommendations for improving food end of the academic year. Thorns sion because I understand there for the sake of getting through it." quality at Baker, Lovett, Sid and Will Rice Colleges. Students present at the meeting said the food has been better since the informed RA search committee chair are [personal] circumstances," Jones Master Robin Forman said beginning of the semester. Leggett said food theft has become more Rachel Whitmire of her decision to Whitmire said. "It does upset me he is certain the committee will be of a problem during the past few weeks, though, and asked students resign Jan. 19. because they're absolutely amaz- able to find another person suitable not to steal food or take food to people without meal plans. He said The Thomses were to become ing candidates, and we were really for the job. continuing food theft will force H&D to spend more money on RAs at the end of the school year an d excited about having them as our "I believe that in many ways the RA security rather than on high-quality food. move into Jones in July, Whitmire, a new RAs." position is more important to a college junior, said. Whitmire said the RA selection than even the master," Forman, chair • Honor Council Chair Keith Henneke announced four proposed Thorns said she regrets being committee has been reconvened of the mathematics department, said. changes to the Honor Council constitution. The proposed changes unable to fulfill the position next year. and will reopen the application pro- "The term is longer, and the RA actu- are: to add the word "unauthorized" to the pledge so it is applicable "We're sad because we were re- cess to anyone who wants to apply. ally lives in the college with the stu- to open-book exams, so it would read, "On my honor, I have neither ally looking forward to doing it, She said finalists from the fall search dents, so it's hard to be a really good given nor received any unauthorized aid on this (examination, quiz but we're confident that they'll be will also be contacted about apply- RA — someone with the potential to or paper);" to clarify that only undergraduate students vote on able to find somebody else who ing again. be a great RA. I'm confident that we amendments to the Honor Council constitution; to include a refer- ence to the investigative meeting, a procedure that is already being can do it that will be, hopefully, Whitmire said the committee will find someone who will be great in used by the council but is not mentioned in the constitution; and to just as excited about it as we were," took about one to two months to the job." clarify that non-binding votes — those maoe by new council mem- bers serving at their first two hearings — are not counted with binding votes. Henneke. a Jones College senior, also said the Council would like to add a survey item to the ballot to gather student opinion on the role of the university president in the appeals process. The senate will vote on whether to add the survey item to the General Elections ballot at its meeting Monday. Anyone with questions about the proposed changes should contact Henneke at [email protected]. w Debbink announced the resignation of SA Director of Publications Evan Hunt. The director of publications is responsible for compiling the Off-Campus Housing Guide, which has not been completed for this year. The director of publications also produces the Newcomer's Guide anC Silver Saver Card, but Hunt completed these items before his resignation. Anyone interested in applying for this paid position should contact Debbink or Leggett at [email protected]. a SA Treasurer Phyllis Huang presented an updated budget for the year including a larger allocation for technology. Leggett said the technology funds will be used to purchase a new computer for the SA office. • SA Parliamentarian C.W. McCullagh presented proposed constitu- * tional changes. The senate approved minor changes to clarify parts of the constitution. The changes will appear as a single item on the General Elections ballot. The senate also discussed an amendment requiring that the SA presidency be held by a single person, but that motion failed to receive the necessary four-fifths margin of approval to place it on the General Elections ballot. (See Story, page 1.) The senate will discuss the issue again at its meeting Monday. Anyone with questions about the proposed changes should contact McCullagh at [email protected]. m The senate approved placing a revised version of the University Blue -J §i constitution on the General Elections ballot. The revised constitu- tion appeared on the Homecoming Elections ballot this past fali and

CHRISTINE LIANG/THRESHER last spring but failed because not enough students voted on it. • Rice Program Council Chair Mary-Margaret Miller, a Wiess senior, Finally, room for massages and Campus-Wide Beer-Bike Coordinators Ellen Montz and Jennine Guanchez, both Jones juniors, spoke in favor of a proposed referen- The family of Morton L. Rich, for whom the new Health Education and Wellness Office is named, arrives at the dum that would add $2 to the RPC blanket tax to be used for Beer- dedication Jan. 23. Bike. Currently, RPC receives $11 from each student's blanket tax fee and designates $3 to Beer-Bike. Miller and Montz said the increase is necessary because of rising costs for Beer-Bike and a lack of corporations willing to sponsor the event. The referendum Archi-Arts pops back to Diverse Works appeared on last year's General Election ballots but failed. The senate approved the referendum, and it will appear on the General of its gallery-like atmosphere, the sophomore architecture class by Rachel Trube Elections ballot. Anyone with questions should contact Miller at Holliday said. to express themselves through THRESHER STAFF [email protected]. "DiverseWorks looks like a other students. The signs plastered across cam- warehouse from the outside, but "The most exciting thing for The next meeting will be Monday at 10 p.m. in Farnsworth Pavilion in the pus are advertising neither a Mid- inside it's bright and very ener- people who organize it is seeing how Student Center. western beverage nor a Dr. Seuss getic," Holliday said. "Perfect for other people take their concept and book. "POP" is the theme for the 'POP.'" interpret it from a different perspec- 2004 Archi-Arts, which will be held Beginning Monday, tickets will tive," she said. "They create an op- Feb. 7 at DiverseWorks, a down- be sold for $10 and T-shirts for $12 at portunity for us S/Es and academs town Houston art space. all the residential colleges at lunch. to express our creativity. Often times, UA< DiverseWorks was also the site of There will also be a package deal, the result is completely different last year's Archi-Arts. offering admission, a shirt, and a from what they expected but equally Archi-Arts is an annual costume raffle ticket for $20. as good." party sponsored by sophomore ar- Raffle prizes will include two Holliday said the goal this year is chitecture majors to raise funds tickets to AstroWorld, a gift certifi- to use powerful, colorful imagery. for their annual spring break trip cate to Bennigan's and a digital 'The atmosphere we are trying to Paris. camera. to create is intense and vivacious, Sc Baker College junior Mary Ann Sponsors like Pizza Hut and but at the same time it's very ap- Holliday, one of the three coordi- Chipotle will provide the food, and proachable," Holliday said. nators for the event, said "POP" drinks will be served to those of age. Martel freshman Kelly Nicholas, For annual checkups, birth control, emergency leaves plenty of room for interpre- Holliday said total expenditures for an architecture student, said she is contraception, pregnancy testing, Rapid HIV tests and tation. the party should reach a total of looking forward to seeing the cre- testing & treatment for sexuallv transmitted infections. "It's the here-and-now," approximately $4,000, while the goal ative costumes of attendees. Holliday said. "Pop culture, pop is to raise $12,000. She said between "The best part about this year's 1.800.230.PLAN www.pphouston.org music, pop stars, popcorn, pop-a- 500 and 700 students are expected theme is that it's so broad, which gives wheelie, poppin' pills, pop art. It attend. people an opportunity to run a little Planned Parenthood goes on and on." Martel College senior Linh-Thi more wild and think of really unique p of Houston and Southeast Texas, Inc. "flie venue was selected because Do said the event is a chance for and vivid costumes," Nicholas said.

Wr thresher.rice .edu »

6 THE RICE THRESHER NEWS FRIDAY, JANUARY 30,2004 Air quality sign in RMC Debate team success continues Rice College sophomore Ben Smiley They started with little or no by Audrey Walstrom Sustainability sponsored the con- was among the final 32 teams in parlia- experience, and we haven't seen too by April Goldman THRESHER STAFF struction of the sign as an educa- mentary debate. Smiley also took sec- many do that because they usually THRESHER STAFF tional tool, Crumpacker said. The Rice Speech and Debate team ond place in communication analysis. have high school experience," Worth said. J oggers looking to protect their Nowak, a Jones junior, said found success at the United States Air Based on their performance r The team formed by Jones sopho- lungs should check the new v. the Environmental Club put up Force Academy Forensics Classic Jan. record, Miller and Smiley have been more Robert Crider and Martel quality sign in the Student Ctnte* the sign not only to encourage 16-18, taking sixth in the overall team invited to participate in the National r sophomore Nathan Smith were before they exercise outdoors. The s?fe( awareness, but also inten- sweepstakes and fifth in the debate Parliamentary Tournament of Excel- among the final 32 teams in parlia- custom-made sign uses a color- sity concern about environmen- sweepstakes. Ninety debate teams and lence this March at the University of mentary debate. Crider also received coded scale to indicate levels of air tal issues in Houston. 429 individual speaking event com- California, Berkeley, an invitation 16th place in the overall debate pollution and is maintained by the "Houston is one of the cities petitors representing 35 colleges par- extended only to the top 48 pairs of speaker competition. Hanszen Col- Rice Environmental Club. with the worst air quality in the ticipated in the tournament, which debaters in the country. Worth said lege junior Felipe Valdez and Will Each morning. Environmen- country," Nowak said. "Jogging was held at the USAFA in Colorado when Miller and Smiley were invited, Rice freshman Sarah Orem also re- tal Club Vice President Dave around the outer loop around Springs, Col. Nine individual awards they were ranked 11 out of over ceived awards for individual events. Nowak finds Houston's Air Qual- rush hour, you can smell the ex- and four debate awards contributed to 60() nationally-ranked teams. ity Index on the Environmental haust. It gets pretty smoggy and Rice's sixth-place finish. Grace said he hopes two more "We have a number of people Protection Agency Web site and polluted in Houston." Assistant Director of Forensics Rice teams will qualify for the event. qualifying for prestigious events on adjusts the sign accordingly. Redman said the sign should Jeremy Grace said the tournament The team formed by Martel Col- the national field," Worth said. The color-code ranges from make people think about air pol- is the third biggest in the country in lege sophomore Danielle Mathieu- Orem, Valdez, Rapore, Smiley best air quality, represented by a lution. terms of number of teams and skill Reeves and Wiess freshman James and Miller have qualified for the green dot, to worst air quality, "If Ipeople] see every day that of the competitors. Rice's strong fin- Rapore was among the final 16 teams American Forensics Association represented by a purple dot. the air index is bad, then maybe ish against nationally-ranked teams in parliamentary debate. Rapore took National Individual Events Tourna- Rice Environmental Club co- they will consider that in their is a promising sign for future suc- third place in extemporaneous ment, to be held at California State- president Aaron Redman, a Jones everyday livesorwhen they vote," cess this year, he said. speaking. I>ong Beach April 2-5. Rice debaters College junior, said Houston air Redman said. Director of Forensics David "It was very competitive," Rapore will also compete at the National quality is usually relatively good Nowak said he hopes the sign Worth was also pleased with the said. "We were up against the best Parliamentary Debate Association this time of year. will motivate people to use cars team's performance. debaters in the country." Championship at California State- Northridge April 7-10. "The summer is when you get less often or vote to tighten in- "It means we have another strong Rapore said this year's team is the worst air quality," Redman dustrial pollution regulations. showing on the national stage," doing very well overall and has po- Worth said the team's success said. "That's when you will see If the sign has piqued student Worth said. "We're maintaining a tential to continue its success due to this year is due to its strong his- the red. Purple is the worst, and interest in Houston environmen- certain level of national competition." its large number of underclassmen. tory at Rice, close cooperation be- if it's purple, then Dave said you tal issues, they can also come to Dean of Humanities Gary Willi said He said he and Mathieu-Reeves com- tween team members, a strong shouldn't leave the RMC." the Rice Environmental Confer- the team's recent performance is a peted successfully against more ex- coaching staff, natural talent and "The sign was installed as a ence March 13, he said. The topic continuation of its tradition at Rice. perienced teams. dedication. source of public information," An- of the conference is transporta- "Under [the coaches'] leadership, "I was really surprised that my "We've had a tremendous year as drea Crumpacker, an EADM tion in Houston. the team is on a winning streak, and partner and I were ranked 20th in a result of tremendous work ethic on graduate student and member of "We're going to have a bunch the team members deserve to be the country after the first three the part of the members," Worth said. the Environmental Club, said. of different speakers, including recognized by their fellow students months of competition,"Rapore said. The team will next compete "During times of high ozone for- representatives from the [Texas] and by the faculty," Wihl said. "It's Sid Richardson College sopho- Feb. 6-8 at Point Loma Nazarene mation, no one on campus seems Department of Public Safety and another example of student excel- more Kim Swanson and Wiess Col- University in San Diego. Grace said aware that it is unhealthy to be the light rail," Nowak said. "We lence at Rice." lege freshman I.K. Imo took second the event will be the team's most outside exercising." want to get a bunch of different The debate team formed by Wiess place in junior varsity parliamentary important before the national cham- The Shell Center for views and have a discussion." College junior Greg Miller and Will debate. pionships in April. HACER participates in Super quiz Bowl Martel RA will step

The Rams lost to the Colts in the by Brooke Lathram Houston-Downtown campus, was based on the principals of leader- final trivia round. Sifuentes said he down at semester's end THRESHER STAFF ship, athletics and academics. was disappointed he missed out on College building in Jan. 2002, During the week before the Super At the beginning of the day. stu- the prize of a $250 book stipend and by Jenny Rees said the first order of business Bowl, seven Rice students were among dents were broken up into 12 teams tickets to A Houston Salute that THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF will be selecting committee about 150 college and high school representing the 12 NFL teams that were awarded to each member of members and publicizing the students from the Houston area who played in this year's play-offs. The the winning team, but he still en- Martel College Resident As- vacancy. competed with the Rams, the Cow- teams consisted of college and high joyed the event. sociates Tina Villard and Ken boys and other big-name teams. The school students. "It was a lot of fun," Sifuentes Camp announced their resigna- "We've already got some students participated in the Super Quiz Martel College senior Josef said. "Everyone worked together." tion Tuesday, effective at the end names of people who sound like Super Challenge Monday, a college Sifuentes was designated a member Brown senior Mike Ramirez, a of the semester. they're going to be great poten- bowl-stvle event sponsored by the NFL of the Rams, who advanced past the member of the third-place-finish- In an e-mail sent to the col- tial candidates," Friedberg said. and the Houston Hispanic Forum. The first three rounds of sports trivia, ing Cowboys, said he plans to keep lege, Villard said she and Camp Friedberg said replacing seven contestants from Rice were sports and leadership activities to the in touch with the students he met at are leaving because of changes Villard and Camp will be difficult members of HACER. final trivia round. He said his team the event. One even invited him to in their lives. because they successfully ful- "The 'winds of change' are a filled both the fun aspects of be- The students met the Houston was particularly good at the leader- a Super Bowl party at his house, he constant and persistent part of ing an RA and the less pleasant Texans' Cheerleaders. Albert ship activities, which included mak- said. life," Villard, the assistant direc- parts. Johnson of the Texans and Rocky ing human shapes while blindfolded Ramirez said he enjoyed being tor for intramural and club Bernard of the Seattle Seahawks. and "skiing" as a group on long pieces a role model for the high school "She began the tradition of sports, wrote. "Ken and I have The event's publicist, Mayte of plywood. The sports events in- students. Thursday-night TV, and she was come to a place where our ship Weitzman, said the college bowl, cluded a football toss, bungee run really good at doing creative is changing course due to those which was held at the University of and moonwalk obstacle course. things — we had a pumpkin carv- winds." ing and valentines making," Villard said the need for more Friedberg said. "But she's been 'It shows that even space was one significant con- really good about being there in sideration. the middle of the night too, like though we see "When I took the RA position, at NOD." I was single and at a different ourselves as young position in my life," Villard said. college students, we "I have since got married, and my husband and I are thinking about 4 can make a difference a family, and we decided it's best When I took the RA if we move into a house." even now.' Villard said she and Camp position, I was single will miss living at the college but — Mike Ramirez and at a different plan to stay involved however Brown College senior they can as associates in part position in my life,' because of the impact of the two years she and Camp have lived —Tina Villard, Martel College "Even though it was only one at Martel. day. we really bonded," Ramirez "Only a group of students as Resident Associate said. "It shows that even though we interesting, smart, fun and bizarre see ourselves as young college stu- (at times) could have provided dents. we can make a difference us such a kaleidoscope of memo- even now The whole college ad- ries." Villard wrote. Friedberg said the committee missions process is intimidating, Martel has already begun the plans to select a new RA by the and it's nice that you have someone search process for a new RA. end of classes so that the new RA there saying. Hey. you have a shot Martel President Rob Gillette can meet students and make to get in here." I think that was one announced at Wednesday's Par- plans to move in. of the main reasons why this pro- liament meeting that seniors "Even though it's a quick gram integrated high school kids Anna Friedberg and Mark search, whoever gets the posi- and college kids ' Berenson, the Thresher editor tion will have the summer to Martel senior Christine Cepeda. in chief, will co-chair the com- take care of their housing and Brown senior Fsrnerai-'la Martinez. mittee other needs," Friedberg said. Lovett senior Eddie Miranda, Friedberg, who served on the "We want them to be able to HACER President I>rira Moreno, a search committee that selected meet the college before they Jones senior, and Loverr. freshman Villard in the fall of 2001. prior move in in August so it's not Jacob Lopez aUo attended the to the opening of the Martel such a shock." event. THE RICE THRESHER NEWS FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004 Off-campus students seek Super profit POLICE BLOTTER The following items were reported to the University Police for the period by Catherine Adcock leges, Assistant Vice President for erate," he said. "People live in close Jan. 21-25. THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF Student Affairs John Hutchinson proximity. And they're sharing bath- said. rooms. Having strangers in the build- Residential Colleges Students might be surprised to "The housing agreement says ing for profit is not an ethical way to Wiess College Jan. 22 A male was knocking on doors and know that renting out their on-cam- that students may not sublet their conduct yourself. I'm dead set asking for money. The subject was pus rooms for three nights during rooms, and it also says violation of against it. It's a dumb idea." issued a municipal citation for public the Super Bowl weekend could earn terms of the housing agreement can Renting out on-campus housing intoxication and a criminal trespass them enough money to pay room result in the loss of the privilege of could also cause tax problems for warning and was released. and board for a semester. having on campus housing," the university, Cox said. However, college masters and Hutchinson, also the Brown College "The larger issue is that the uni- Martel College Jan. 23 Mouse stolen. presidents have warned students that master said. "The masters, in con- versity is tax exempt," he said. "If subletting their rooms for the Super sultation with the college presidents, you open up the housing to non- Will Rice College Jan. 25 MP3 player missing. Bowl would be a violation of the On- concluded those [two provisions in students then all of the sudden you Campus Housing Agreement. the on-campus housing agreement] run into IRS problems." Other Buildings The university crisis management in combination should be implied to At most colleges, the masters Health Education Jan. 21 Graffiti on the back of the building. team discussed the issue last week mean that a student that did sublet or president passed on messages and Wellness Office with the masters and presidents, who their room and put their fellow stu- to their respective college listservs then informed their colleges. dents at risk and inconvenience regarding the prohibition of sub- Graduate Apartments Jan. 23 Loud music reported. Subject would Subletting a room is prohibited should in fact lose their on campus letting and the penalties for doing not answer the door but turned down by the housing contract signed by housing privileges." so. Some colleges discussed the the music. Case referred to all on-campus students. Security is a major concern re- issue at their college government University Court. The 2003-'04 On-Campus Hous- garding the subletting of on-campus meetings. ing Agreement states in Section 5a, rooms, Jones College Master Robin Some off-campus students are Hanszen/Wiess Jan. 24 Officer observed three students "This agreement may not be assigned Forman said. taking advantage of their non-Rice Servery stealing food from the servery during or sublet, in whole or in part ... ex- "It's pretty clear that letting leases by trying to sublet their apart- the night. Two students were referred cept with written approval of the Di- someone unapproved live in the ments. Martel College junior Chris to U. Court and one decision is rector of Housing and Dining or its college over Super Bowl weekend Gibson advertised his apartment for pending. designated chief housing office." is an intolerable security risk for rent during Super Bowl weekend on The college masters consulted the college," he said. eBay but never received any bids. with the college presidents and con- Sid Richardson College Master He said he is considering posting cluded that a student subletting his Steve Cox said subletting could in- the advertisement again. His origi- or her on-campus room would lose convenience other students. nal starting bid was $1,250 for the current and future housing privi- "I think it's extremely inconsid- entire weekend. Senate to vote Monday on proposal AMENDMENT, from Page 1 "Having served with co-presi- ing by one vote with two senators single person or two co-presidents. dents, we recognize the pluses and absent — that's the worst way to kill However, some said that because minusesof such an arrangement and something," Debbink said. two people running together would feel that the student body should be A constitutional amendment to have a wider "friendship network" able to weigh in on the issue," limit the SA presidency to a single and would have more energy to de- Batchelor, a junior, said. person was last considered in Oc- vote to campaigning, co-presidents Brown College President tober 2001. Due to a procedural A':" W. would have an advantage over single Kathleen Milazzo agreed that the error, the senate voted on the iPpfl candidates. entire SA, not only the voting mem- change itself rather than on Debbink said the SA presidency bers of the senate, should make the whether to place the change on the V,' • is an increasingly demanding job. He decision. Homecoming Elections ballot for said he thinks if a single person were "I think it's important that the approval by the undergraduate stu- president, he or she would need to student body have the chance to dent body. Eleven senate mem- elevate the power on of one or more consider the issue because the bers voted for the amendment and executive committee members. number of voting members in the 11 against. Then-current SA co- "The office of the SA president senate is small," Milazzo said. Presidents Jamie Lisagor (Hanszen needs more than one extremely com- "There are some banal issues I'm '02) and Gavin Parks (Martel '02) mitted member," Debbink said. comfortable just voting on and hav- broke the tie by voting against the Will Rice College President Ryan ing the voting members of the SA change. Bergauer said allowing co-presidents decide on. but something like this The senate will vote again at its is risky because communication that has an impact on students' meeting Monday on whether the problems are likely to exist. lives 1 think they should have a amendment should appear on the "When you have two people that chance to vote on." General Elections ballot. A constitu- are answering as one person, un- Leggett said he and Debbink tional amendment requires approval less those two are linked in the asked members of the senate to by a two-thirds majority of the SA at brain, you have communication is- vote based on whether co-presi- large, with at least 20 percent of 3" * q sues," Bergauer, a senior, said. dents should be allowed rather than students voting. "And if those people are going to on the specific issue of placing the Leggett said he hopes if the represent the student body, you amendment on the ballot. He said amendment is placed on the ballot, better be darn sure the communi- the votes of the senate will send a students will become informed about cation is there." message to students about senate the issue and vote on it. In response to the concern that members' positions on the issue, "I think the worst thing that could administrators might not take co- and therefore senate members happen is the senate approves it and presidents as seriously as a single should vote based on those posi- not enough students vote on it," rmmM person, Leggett said he and Debbink tions rather than on the narrower Leggett said. have gotten positive reactions from issue of placing the amendment on administrators with whom they have the ballot. worked. "We asked the senate to vote on MIT LINCOLN LABORATORY @ RICE "I acknowledge there are some whether or not co-presidents should people who don't like co-presi- be allowed and not whether or not If you would like to learn more about Mil Lincoln Laboratory, it should go before students," please attend our informational session. To be considered for an dents, but it's also my personal on-campus interview, you must apply to: belief that the key administrators Leggett said. "That's how we're making decisions and interacting viewing their vote." 1. Your Career Center's online recruiting system AND with us are gong to make it work," Milazzo agreed senate mem- 2. To MIT Lincoln Laboratory's website at Leggett said. bers were unsure whether they http://www.ll.mit.edu/careers/careers.html (Click on College Recruitment) Ixggett said he thinks the amend- should vote based on whether they ment would limit student choice in thought co-presidents should be future elections. allowed or whether the decision INFORMATIONAL SESSION: "By making it constitutionally should be passed on to the entire Wednesday, February 18, 2004 unallowable [ to elect co-presidents 1, SA. However, she said she decided 7:00 PM, Rice Student Center, 2nd Floor Conference Room you're not giving students the op- to vote in favor of placing the REFRESHMENTS amendment on the ballot because portunity to vote on a pair that might CAMPUS INTERVIEWS: do a really good job," leggett said. she believes students should be Thursday, February 19, 2004 Bergauer, however, said allow- able to vote. If you are pursuing a degree in: ing co-presidents to run could also "It was a difficult thing to decide Put some power behind your ideas. At MIT Lincoln Laboratory, limit student choice. even what we were voting on," • Electrical • Aeronautics/ your research and ideas will be transferred directly into the development "The people who voted against Milazzo said. "Were we voting to give Engineering Astronautics ot leading-edge, real-world applications, including air defense, space putting I the amendment] on the students the right to vote or to give • Physics • Molecular surveillance, communications and air traffic control systems. Biology ballot say the student body shows its our personal opinion on the issue? I • Mathematics Lincoln Laboratory • Biochemistry support for or against co-presidents took it as deciding to give students • Computer Science Human Resources the right to vote, and in that vote, if • Mechanical • Materials Massachusetts Institute of Technology through the election, but a lot of Science that vote takes place, that's where I'll Engineering Lexington, Massachusetts people like to run as co-whatevers 781-981-5500 because it's easier to get elected," express my personal opinion just like or a comparable field, our technical staff members An Equal Opportunity Employer, M/P/D/V. Bergauer said. "There could be a any other student would." welcome the opportunity to consider you for an point down the road when everyone Debbink said he thinks it is ap- on-campus interview. U.S. Citizenship is Required. is running in pairs, and I wouldn't propriate for the senate to vote on want to see that." the issue again given the level of Baker College President Megan support for placing the amendment LINCOLN LABORATORY Batchelor said she thinks the issue on the ballot. MASSACHUSETTS INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY should be brought before the entire "With something that piques the student body. interest of the senate so much fail- www.ll.mit.edu THE RICE THRESHER NEWS FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004 Aesthetics and location of treehouse worry some

TREEHOUSE, from Page 1 and in the spirit of our university. thing fun, and overall in the spirit of With engineering savvy, the tree goes Rice University — a mix of play, se- untouched, a study loft is built, and crecy and legend,"he said. "[TTie ques- we remember again the art of play." tion was] how to build a treehouse in The builder said group members a conspicuous place without getting came from a mix of colleges, years caught and without touching the tree." and majors, and architecture majors The structure was built without had helped in the process. nailing into or otherwise harming The treehouse's condition has the tree. The builder said leaving declined slightly since it was built, the tree unharmed was a priority for with the platform sagging as the the group, and students used indus- ropes supporting it stretch. Block trial rubber and scrap tire to protect said no plan or schedule to remove the places where supports come in the treehouse has been estab- contact with the tree itself. lished, and any decision in the The platform is located about matter will probably involve 10 feet above the ground. A notice Camacho, Associate Vice President posted at the bottom of the ladder for Finance and Administration states no children or drunk people Neill Binford, and supervisors from should climb up to the treehouse Facilities and Engineering. and that no more than three people While he acknowledged that the CALEB REDFIELD/THRESHER should occupy it at a time. treehouse will have to come down Risk Manager Renee Block said eventually, Camacho remained en- State of the University she is impressed by the students' thusiastic about it. Student Association co-presidents Michael Leggett and Bryan Debbink give their State of the University efforts. "It gives me one more reason address at the Lovett College Central Committee Tuesday night. "The students really thought why I think Rice students are so through the process as far as mak- wonderful," he said. ing sure the tree was not damaged Baker College junior Tina Rad and making the structure relatively said she likes the treehouse's dedi- sound," she said cation to Camacho. Alcohol policy changes considered However, Block said the treehouse "[Camacho] deserves it,"she said. will have to be removed eventually, "It kind of reminds me of the time they ALCOHOL, from Page 1 originated from the concerns of stu- in the preliminary stages, Cox said. partly due to safety concerns. flipped Willy's Statue and nobody no- be approved by the Committee of dent members of ABPAC. "There is not a concrete draft in "One thing missing that you typi- ticed. It was very cleverly done." Masters and Presidents. "The proponents of the changes front of the committee," he said. cally see on a treehouse would be Hanszen College senior Jennie Friedberg, a member of ABPAC, in ABPAC have been student mem- "The process is for a draft of the the railing around the treehouse to Kuzdzal said the treehouse's prox- said the review by M&P would en- bers of the committee, the people revised policy to be circulated over keep you from falling over," she said. imity to Anderson Hall, home of the sure the policy would still be enforced involved in the enforcement of the the next three weeks with a prelimi- Although injury and liability is- architecture department, made her in the same way at every college. alcohol policy at the colleges," he nary vote toward end of February. sues play a role, Block said aesthetic think initially that it was an architec- "The concept behind [college said. "This discussion has largely If it passes, this will get enacted reasons and the treehouse's location ture project. specific policies] is that if the col- been student-driven." before turnover so new courts have will also make it a short-lived project. "At first, I didn't realize that it was leges do have them, there will be the right documents in hand at turn- "Typically you wouldn't see a open to the public, that it was just an overseeing board," Friedberg over. Our goal is to have something treehouse in the quad," she said. some kind of project," she said. "It said. "Every college will be held to tangible by turnover." One builder said the group chose looks stable." a certain standard so that College X Baker College senior Maranda a conspicuous location so that more Glenn Naylor, a contractor with couldn't be more lenient than Col- 'Is a private party a Priolo questioned the equality of students would use the treehouse. Western Waterproofing working on lege Y." six-pack and a pizza or separate college policies. The builder noted that the platform's the covered sidewalk between Cox said the proposed changes "I just feel like that's going to elevation is roughly equivalent to the Fondren and Anderson, said he ap- are part of a natural process of adapt- is it 200 people out on a cause uproar with the students," height the engineering quad, and preciates the builders' work. ing the policy to make it more suitable Priolo said. "I don't feel like you can 180 does not have any safety devices. "I'm a deer hunter, and it gave me for Rice. balcony with no alcohol give the colleges separate alcohol He also said the group had not some ideas on how to build a deer "We're not interested in overhaul- policies without giving some more anticipated reactions such as Block's. blind," he said. "I like the way they ing or criticizing the policy, more in sight?' freedom [than others]." "We're surprised that administra- suspended it with ropes and didn't just bringing a point of clarification — Steve Cox Dane Powell, a Jones College tors feel that the treehouse may be an injure the tree. If they take it down, to it," Cox said. "Each year we take a ABPAC Chair freshman, raised similar concerns. eyesore," he said. "We think it fun I'll haul it off for them." look at the policy and see what seems "That is one nice thing about hav- to be ignored, what seems to be ing one policy for the whole univer- followed, and what can be clarified sity is that it can be more evenly and that was vague in the existing policy." The committee is also consider- universally enforced," Powell said. Weekend rain blamed ABPAC includes 13 students and ing smaller changes to the Alcohol "That would definitely be a concern 10 faculty and staff members, in- Policy. The committee's goals include if they split it up." cluding three college masters, a greater involvement of the Health Cox said any student interested in chief justice or president from each Education and Wellness Office and finding out more about the proposed college and the Student Associa- better education of socials, caregivers changes or in voicing an opinion on for field conditions tion co-presidents. and party throwers, Cox said. them should contact the student Cox said the proposed changes All the proposed changes are still members of the committee. PATRIOTS, from Page 1 begin today. May said the Texans' facility of- Rice University Police will screen fers total privacy, a fiat field and cars entering the campus from 5 a.m. good security. today until 10 p.m. Sunday. Officers im Patriots head coach Bill Belichick posted at the limited open entrances v said at a press conference Wednes- will allow vehicles with Rice parking ^ day that the team would have to get decals to pass through as quickly as iaiin used to practicing inside. possible, but drovers entering cam- ^ -I'V "We're going to work indoors pus will likely encounter waits, RUPD [Wednesday], so that will be just a Chief Bill Taylor said. little bit of an adjustment for us," Today, the open Entrances will Belichick said. be 8 (University Blvd. at T iNews: May said he is sorry to see the Stockton St.), 11 (Rice Blvd. at Shep- Patriots go. herd St.), and 13 (Rice Blvd. at Kent "We were enjoying having them," St.), the latter serving only as an , > > ,; May said. entrance and not an exit. Saturday, •"< v - ' - 1. The departure of the Patriots from Entrances 8 and 11 will be open, the Rice camps will not affect the on- and Sunday all vehicles must go campus security precautions that through Entrance 8. G

<1 - - .. . J5/ The Baha'i Faith Uniting your world ... one heart at a time Infomational meetings, Devotionals and Study circles near campus Call 1-800-22-UNITE or visit www.bahai.org THE RICE THRESHER FEATURES FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004 ftecdtoq Rice

tbanqinq times arid changing methods have improved the quality of foot) on campus

Story and Layout by Jeff Bishop and Rachel Ruslin

Students love to complain about F&H, which was renamed H&D investigate areas in which the inde- the quality of food on campus, but in the fall of 2001, introduced the pendent kitchens could provide bet- few probably think about how it com- idea of cooking some of the food at ter service more efficiently. pares to food in the past — or how the individual colleges in the fall of "We needed to change the pro- hard it is to cook for such a large and 1997. While not all of the colleges gram in the four colleges that aren't diverse population. were equipped to cook the majority attached to the serveries, and we "I find myself being somewhat of the meals, it was the precursor to planned to do it in the spring," reactive to students. It's not planned the system used today. All food ser- Ditman said."[The consultant! came that way, but it's hard to guess what vice was removed from Central out early November to develop they want. Actually, the biggest chal- Kitchen by the fall of 2001. menus with the chef and we imple- lenge is knowing exactly what to do, The idea of a "servery," a word mented it in the spring." not actually doing it ... knowing somehow invented by the Rice Feedback on the new menus has what's most popular. It's tough to be community, was approved by the been positive. competitive with 1,700 moms' cook- Board of Trustees in the fall of "The food has definitely improved ing," Marion Hicks, former director 1998. The idea was seen by many at Baker," Baker College President THRESHER RLE PHOTO of Food and Housing, told the in the student body as an affront to Megan Batchelor said. "I hope that Hanszen College took over the new Wiess College Commons for the 2001-'02 Thresher in 1995. the distinctive nature of the col- it will continue through the semes- school year while its new commons was constructed. But large amounts of progress leges. Wiess College was especially ter." have been made in terms of food concerned about the difficulties of Ditman said he forecasts the im- said. "I used to buy people a lot of "They're going in and getting in for service in the past decade. Food sharing a food-sharing area be- provement to continue. food. They didn't have ice sculptures their two friends, and that's becom- quality has improved, meal options cause of the impact it would have "I expect the four smaller kitch- at Sammy's, otherwise, people would ing a problem, a bigger and bigger have increased and satisfaction with on family-style dinner. ens to increase collaboration in terms have been buying a lot." problem." the dining service on campus seems "I think that conceptually a lot of of sharing production along the lines Subway and the Campus Store A committee is being formed to to have grown as well. people at Wiess thought that the of resident chef specialties and opened in the Rice Memorial Center look at the issue. 'The real beginning was seven step should be taken to better the events featuringculinarians visiting in the fall of 2000, giving students a "We've seen it happening in the years ago," Housing and Dining Di- food served to the students," Ethan from other colleges as a means for new place in which to spend their past year of students overloading rector Mark Ditman said. "If you Schultz (Wiess '99) said. "The col- increasing variety in the smaller tetra points. Today, each student their plates and particularly this con- look at seven years ago versus what leges, the official stance of the col- serveries," Ditman said. with an on-campus meal plan re- sultant was stunned by how much it is now, it's radically different. It lege was that we didn't like the ceives $50 of tetra points that can be sharing he saw going on." Ditman doesn't resemble the old type of ser- concept of the servery. A lot of it was Meal Plan used at Subway, Smoothie King, said. "We don't want to raise the vice at all." tied up with the fact that we all ate Through the mid-1990s, the price Willy's Pub, the coffee house. Chef price of the meal plan incidentally if together. We saw the servery as of the largest meal plan increased Roger's Cuisine (formerly Sammy's there are other things we can do to Food Quality bringing in the food court dining annually in $100 increments. Cafe), along with all of the kitchens keep it down." "When I was master from 1976- experience where we wouldn't have "The problem with this practice across campus. No matter what happens in the 1981, we had, and this was at Sid 120 people at the same time having was that increases were not tied to future of food quality, costs or meal [Richardson College], one fairly lunch together where everyone changes in key input factors, such as The Future plans, current Rice students will ' good salad bowl about the size of a somewhat knows each other." food and labor, or to changing stu- One issue H&D is focusing on have fonder memories of food than punch bowl, and when it was gone, it dent expectations," Ditman said. this semester is the issue of food those who have come in years past. was gone," Sociology Professor Bill Ditman said efforts were made sharing. Since meals became all- "When I hear students complain Martin said. "That was all the salad. to price the plan to support student you-can-eat, H&D has observed today about the food, which is what "I once registered a comment to 'It s tough to be preferences starting in the late larger portions of food being taken college students do, I don't have a the head of the kitchen that we 1990s. from the kitchens, sometimes to lot of sympathy," Martin said. "You needed more salad because if you competitive with IJ00 In those days, the meal plan was share with off-campus friends with- should have been here 27 years ago, didn't get there in the first 15 min- moms' cooking/ an a la carte system — you paid for out meal plans. when the food here was certainly utes, you got no salad. And the re- exactly what you ate. While this "People are stealing food," nutritionally adequate... but the food sponse was that they handed me a — Marion Hicks brought more accurate meal prices, Leggett, a Wiess senior, said. now is just much much better." special little bowl of salad just for Former director of it also brought much longer lines. me. It didn't solve the problem." Housing and Dining As a result, all-you-can-eat meals It seems plainly obvious that food came to campus in the fall of 2000. quality has come a long way from There were three meal plan op- BY THE NUMBERS: MEAL PLAN PRICES then, and many would say that food tions that fall: 11, 15 or 19 meals a Below are the prices of the most expensive on-campus meal plan for quality has vastly improved in just However, Hutchinson, who was week. First-year students were re- the last nine academic years. Overthe period of 1995-2002, inflation the past few years. master at the time, said that the quired to purchase the 19-meal plan, would have naturally increased the cost from $1,312.50 to $1,529. "It's almost impossible to de- servery is not to blame for the de- but returning students were allowed scribe the level of improvement," cline of family-style meals. to choose their meal plan. Brown College Master John "I have the feeling that family In the fall of 2002, H&D simpli- Hutchinson, who also served as style was going to die anyway," fied the system by instituting only Wiess College master from 1994 to Hutchinson said. "Schedules were one meal plan for on-campus stu- 2001, said. "One would have had to more flexible than they [are now). dents, and this system appears to have lived and eaten in the colleges The growth of intramural sports had have taken hold on campus. in the early 1990s to know how poor a pretty big impact on family style. While the plan has remained the the quality and variety of food was We have over 200 student organiza- same over the past two years, the back then." tions now, and intramural sports prices have not (See Charts). The mid-'90s produced a deci- overlap family style and clubs have "Overall students were not as up- sion from the administration to im- meetings that overlap family style. If set at the prices of the plans but that prove food services on campus. New anyone wanted to bring family style they weren't getting what they outreach, such as a new home page back it would be virtually impossible wanted," Student Association co- for Housing and Dining, solicited because of the serveries." President Michael I^eggett said. student opinions and soon their re- Recent attention has been dedi- '95 '96 '97 '98 '99 '00 '01 '02 '03 quests — ranging from extended cated toward improving the quality Tetra Points breakfast hours to low-fat entrees— of the food in the non-servery kitch- Until the start of the 2000-'01 were being heard. ens. H&D brought in a consultant to school year, the meal plan con- BY THE NUMBERS: MEAL PRICES sisted of a set amount of money in which all food in the kitchens were The prices for breakfast, lunch and dinner have fluctuated over the to be bought individually. Thus, past four years. over the course of the semester, students had about $1,300 to use 2000-01 on meals. In the spring of 1998, a card reader was installed in Willy's Pub, allow- ing students to use money from meal plans on nonalcoholic purchases $4.78 2001- 02 before 5 p.m. In fall of 2000, when F&H de- si \ ' cided to switch over to a standard $8.12 all-you-can-eat meal plan, any re- maining money on students' ac- counts was rolled over into a new $5.95 2002- 03 entity called tetra points. For those students who were sophomores, this meant a considerable amount of money in tetra points. "When they switched to tetra 2003- 04

KATIE STREIT, THRESHER FILE PHOTO points, all of us who had a meal plan Sammy's Late Night' briefly reopened in the 2000- 01 school year to provide as freshmen had $400-$500 leftover, late night munchies for Rice students. Lack of interest, partially due to the and all of that converted to tetra opening of Subway, forced its closure. points," Matt Haynie (Will Rice '03) El

10 THE RICE THRESHER ARTS a ENTERTAINMENT FRIDAY, JANUARY 3i0. 2004

1)1 'El. OF THE MIKES THE THRESHER'S RECOMMENDATIONS Rice students infuse talent and energy with poetry FOR EVENTS AROUND HOUSTON THROUGH Steven Pattyn rounds was Hanszen College junior FEB. 5, 2004. THRESHER STAFF Stephen Bor. His poetry conjured Last Friday night's Rice Slam up powerful images of love and Poetry Competition at Willy's Pub in youthful adventure. One of his po- EDI • the Student Center exposed the ems described being caught while concept of live, hot-wired poetry to a making out in a Honda Civic. The large audience, showcasing the most judges scores suggested that picks inventive and passionate poets that Stephen's angst-ridden prose rang Rice has to offer. After the dust true to all of the judges as he had the kicked up by Baker College senior highest score in every round. tonight and Rassul Zarnifar's ode to dark roads Bor was the winner of the tomorrow cleared Rice had selected a national contest, but audience darling poetry team and a unique poetry Zarnifar's combination of singing ASSUME THE style had left its mark on the and a rapid-fire delivery helped t audience of about 120. make him a strong second place POSITION The poetry began with a perfor- finisher. The judges seemed to re- mance by Mike McGee, the current ward Zarinfar's creativity and detail So you think your boss is champion of the National Poetry Slam. and precision of his lyrics. Oscillat- McGee's starting act included ing between a saccharine rendition tough? Then Secretary is poems about an eating contest with the of "You Are My sunshine" and the the film for you. Enter E. Angel of Death and a crooning grim reality of an abusive father, Zarnifar cranked up the intensity Edward Grey (James impression of Elvis directed at fellow poet Lovett College senior of the competition. Spader in a spirited turn), Adriana Ramirez. If you have never Third place poet Weinberg re- a sadist seeking a seen a slam poet perform, imagine a lied on subject matter to reel in the stand-up comic who combines masocist. He finds one in audience. Her poem about mixed lyricism with self-deprecation and slap- ethnicity elicited loud hoots of sup- Lee Hailoway (Maggie stick humor. McGee kept the audience port, and the overwhelmingly female Gyllenhall) in this naughty in stitches for over 20 minutes judging panel seemed entranced by before turning the microphone over to her poem about why nice guys black comedy. Rice's own talents. finish last, awarding it one of the Tonight and tomorrow at After a warm-up, or "sacrifice highest scores of the night. midnight at The River poet" presentation by Will Rice In fourth place, Ramirez channeled College senior Carly Kocurek to Jack Kerouac's angry ex-girlfriend as Oaks, 2009 West Gray standardize the judges, eight competing the audience snapped along to the St. Please call (713) poets delivered two rounds of poetry chorus of "Don't let your lover make a and the four finalists advanced to a mess out of you." The audience 866-8881 for more third elimination round. Despite the seemed to notice Ramirez's amazing information. veneer of competition created by confidence and stage presence. audience members scoring the po- The coach of the Rice Slam Team, ets after each delivery, all of Marcell Murphy, emceed the tonight and the performers seemed more evening. Backed up by DJ MATT CRNKOVICH/THRESHER tomorrow concerned about articulating their Point-and-Click (Martel College Current National Poetry Slam champion Mike McGee performed at Willy's messages. The topics varied from sophomore Jason Bridges), Murphy Pub Friday Night. AND NOW FOR drunk dialing to a condemnation of self- introduced the poets and helped to Underneath played immediately af- in Berkeley, California this spring. A DASH OF criticism and racism delivered by build the audience's excitement. ter Bor's piece about being loved Last year Rice took third place, and Hanszen College sophomore Bridges tailored the musical segue "underneath it all." if Friday's performance was any in- ALMODOVAR ... Jennifer Weinberg. with the content of the performers All four poets and an alternate dication, another strong showing is The overall winner after three act. Most noticeably, No Doubt's will be attending the National Finals in the cards. It's Men on the Verge of a Hispanic Breakdown, a one-man show that SING, FAT LADY, SING! explores the complexities of the homosexual Striking costumes and dynamic sets mark this 'Jenufa' Latin male existence. Tonight and tomorrow at Christina Frangos 8 p.m. Theatre New FOR THE THRESHER The Houston Grand Opera's West, 1415 California St. production of Leosjanacek's/pww/a $20. Please call (713) mixes austere settings, contemp- 522-2204 for more orary costumes and rich musical performances in a powerful rendi- information. tion of the 1903 story of love and violence. Based on the play Her Step- tuesday daughter by Czech author Gabriela Preissova, Janacek's opera tells the tragic story of Jenu-fa, whose STICK 'EM UP! illegitimate pregnancy drives the plot.

Have a knack for the art of gun-making? If so, the new 'jenufa'

exhibit at the Museum of Houston Grand Opera Rating: ++++ (out of five) Fine Art, Houston is tailor- made for you. Three Wortham Center's Brown Theater Jan. 31, Feb. 4 and 7. 7:30 p.m. Centuries of Tradition: The Tickets starting at $14. Renaissance of Custom Gunmaking in America explores the history of Jenufa is the stepdaughter of Kostelnicka. the revered village sage American gunmaking from who prays that Jenufa's lover Steva 1640-1940. will marry her before her pregnancy Guided tours on Tuesdays becomes visible. Meanwhile, Steva's brother Laca truly loves Jenufa. through Feb. 24th. MFAH, $ Vulnerable Jenufa leaves her COURTESY HOUSTON GRAND OPERA 1001 Bissonnet St. Please future hopes of marriage and moth- Patricia Racette stars as the emotionally wrought title character In Jenufa,' playing at the Houston Grand Opera. call (713) 639-7300 for erhood in the hands of her step- mother, but the audience should the populace, or for their own inter- table and a simple annex. Acts II and The lighting is particularly stun- more information. wonder whether Kostelnicka is act- ests? III are both set in an eerie represen- ning in this David Alden production. ing in protection of In the Houston Grand Opera's tation of the Kostelnicka's house. The lighting artists make use of Jenufa or attempt- production of this 20th-century op- The upward-slanting floor and the bright lights to cast horrifying shad- ing to maintain her era, Janacek's rustic Moravian set- downward-angled walls give the set ows of the principal vocalists upon own position of ting becomes an industrial a sinister feel. Bland wallpaper cov- the blank sky, plain wallpaper and power within Anytown, making the opera appli- ers all but the rickety, boarded win- one blood-red painted column. Each the village. This cable to everyone. The simple dows and the door to the outside, eruption of musical emotion is ac- grisly opera poses sets, designed by Charles while a single ceiling lamp emits companied by a lighting change that questions regard- Edwards, starkly contrast with the yellow light reminiscent of a moldy intensifies the meaning of Janacek's ing those holding ornate backdrops for the HGO's school basement. Against the libretto. The audience is forced by social service earlier production of Puccini's blaringly empty background of the the grimness of the set and the light- offices in our own Tosca. first act and the lonely simplicity of era. Do they make ing to enter fully into the lives and In Act I, the small shops and Kostelnicka's house, the actors the musical performances of the decisions for onstage appear much more the cen- houses of bucolic Czechoslovakia characters. the betterment of ter of the opera. become a bleak building, a work See OPERA, Page 12 THE RICE THRESHER ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT FRIDAY, JANUARY 30,200 4 11

HE IS HEAVY. HE'S MY BROTHER Blood lines cross in this taut urban drama 'Top dog/Underdog' Elizabeth Mitns habit of con artistry. But the promise FOR THE THRESHER of easy money begins to tempt Struggling between love and Lincoln's soul, especially as his day hate, the brothers of Top dog/Un- job grows less profitable and derdog uncover a tale of painful alcoholism gets the best of his con- family history through violent con- science. And as Booth's pressure on frontations in the style of Cain and Iincoln heightens, so too does the Abel. Vicious dialogue carefully tension between the two brothers. juxtaposed with musical language Midway thought the play, underline Suzan-Lori Parks'gripping skeletons erupt from the doors exploration of desire and betrayal. of their broken home's past. The script becomes increasingly less humorous, taking on a piercing, 'top dog/underdog' vehement tone. Near the close of the performance, Lincoln says Alley Theatre % to Booth: "I didn't know this shit Rating: **** (out of five) went so deep with you." The Alley Theatre, Nuhaus Stage, subtext of their sibling rivalry 615 Texas Ave. Show runs through reaches the ultimate depth that Feb. 15. Call box office at brings about their foreshadowed 713-228-8421 for more info. fates. Parks rightfully won the Pulitzer Prize for drama, the first African The play's characters, who Parks American woman to win this cat- mockingly names Lincoln (David egory, and a Tony Award for the play Rainey) and Booth (K. Todd Free- in 2002. like many of her otherworks. man), scrape by with income from Top dog/Underdog speaks to its audi- their respective hustling: Lincoln as ence in a disturbing way, asking them an underpaid Abraham Lincoln im- to consider the legacy of American personator and Booth as a talented race relations that linger in society. petty thief. Even though they live COURTESY ALLEY THEATRE together in a meager studio apart- Lincoln (David Rainey, left), a former con artist who cleaned-up his act, fights with his street hustler brother Booth ment, they are unable to cover bills Skeletons erupt (K. Todd Freeman) in Top dog/Underdog. for running water or a phone line. from the doors of Booth soon grows impatient with Parks has been praised for her someone wanting a better life, some- Rainey's passion has the tendency their hand-to-mouth existence, so their BROKEN innovative weaving of myth one between a rock and a hard place, to overwhelm in its attempt to animate he attempts to master the skills of a and history and her explosive com- those are things we've all experi- Iincoln's personality. Freeman pre- street game called three-card monte. home's past. mand over language — language that enced." Parks said. "When it's two sented more variation along the arc of However, Booth fails to master this beautifully captures the vernacular black men who have no money, it human emotion. The contrasting char- game that once made his older found on inner-city streets and manifests itself in a particular way." acters of Iincoln and Booth allow for brother (who has since cleaned up This play is not the first of Parks' to throughout rural America. Yet even The performances by Rainey and the lasting sensation of life's ultimate his act) famous. But Lincoln refuses be produced in Houston. She also though Top dog/Underdog revolves Freeman are exceptional, as they mas- balance at the end of the play. to revert to his old ways, despite his worked with Houston-based Infernal exclusively around a pair of African- terfully give Parks' words interior life Whethervoufiavorag'xxl laugh or first- younger brother's relentless urging. Bridegroom Productions in 2(XX) as American brothers, Parks draws in all and penetrating meaning. The rate drama. Top dog/Underdog appealsto The destruction that resulted from director of her play F***ing A, a audiences through her messages of men master the difficulty of an interest inhuman welfare while exhib- his previous life on the street keeps modern offshoot of Nathaniel childhood wounds and the inability to mixing comedy and tragedy, and their iting a groundbreaking originality in Lincoln from relapsing into an easy Hawthorne's Scarlet Letter. repair them. "When you're showing onstage chemistry is compelling. Yet playwriting.

UPSETTING THE DELICATE BALANCE Kutcher fails to save 'Butterfly' Mike Mathews Enter Ashton Kutcher as Evan, plish this while not messing up the THRESHER STAFF 14 years later, when the story finds lives of his friends (i.e., not getting A very engaging viewing experi- him in college trying to dig deep into Lenny committed to a loony bin). ence often results from creating a his mind and reveal to himself re- story out of a groundbreaking pressed memories from his youth. scientific concept that implies I confess that, up to this point, I No matter what many complex questions. However, really enjoyed this movie. I thought there need to be solid characters that as Evan pried open more and the situation and structure to accompany the sci- more of his memories, they would is ... he dons the entific premise. The Matrix, for ex- disclose more and more of the ex- ample, has a protagonist confronted cruciating obstacles that he would same monotonous, with situations which make us sense soon have to confront. his desperation at learning that his Instead of progressing into vi- quiet voice and wwm entire life and accomplishments are able second and third acts through passive facial an illusion. On the other hand, llie such conflict development, the plot Butterfly Effect has a character who simply stops at Evan constantly read- expression. also finds himself in dire straits but ing his journals and returning to his who, instead of trying to struggle hometown to recover his memories. and feel his way through the con- Then, the plot literally moves back- Contrary to the very premise of the flict, merely tries to get it over with. wards. Evan finds that, when he movie, the butterfly effect, which is a reads several sentences of a journal scientific notion that suggests that the entry, he goes back in time to the smallest occurrences, like a butterfly incident which he had written about. flapping its wings, can have far-reach- 'the butterfly His memories are revealed to him in ing effects, only applies to Evan and effect' his dreams before he travels back the people he knows—the rest of the through time, or when he actually world is exempt from its conse- in theaters finds himself back in time. quences. Evan's time travel is like a Rating: ** 1/2 Evan spends the rest of the movie college freshman chemistry experi- (out of five) going back to correct particular ment where all but one of the events only to find that changing variables are kept constant and the something in the past aversely only thing at stake is a good grade on The film begins with Evan effects other details of his and his the lab report. Treborn (I/)gan Irrnian from The friends' lives. When he journeys Kutcher's acting confirms this Patriot as a young Ashton Kutcher) back to save Tommy from burning impression. No matter what the situa- at the age of eight, who worries his his dog out of revenge, he ends up tion is—whether sorrowful, joyful, or parents by acting in much the same allowing Lenny to kill Tommy, desperate — he dons the same manner as young Michael Myers did which, in turn, causes Ix'nny to be monotonous, quiet voice and passive in Halloween (1978) — drawing permanently institutionalized. So. he facial expression. Of course, there are bloody pictures, brandishing butcher zaps himself back to the now- theoccasional laughs that briefly trans- knives in front of family members, changed present and then right back form him into his character on etc. He always hangs out with the to the past for another attempt at "That 70s Show." Part of the reason same group of friends — Kayleigh correcting the past and present. why the first 30 minutes of the movie Miller, her brother, Tommy Miller, What is Evan's motivation for are so compelling is because these and Ix'nny Kagan. repeatedly trying to refine the past are the scenes where Evan is young and, thus, played by two younger ac- These characters appear to con- and present? What is at stake if he tors (at age 8 by Lennan and at 13 by verge in the sense that, as the screen- fails? Not much — besides his love John Patrick Amedori) who are con- writers/directors Eric Bress and J. interest, Kayleigh, of course. As he siderably more skilled. Mackeye Gruber (Final Destination writes in his journal, he is making the COURTESY NEW LINE CINEMA 2) imply, their collective oddities are time voyages to try to "save her" from Without a convincing lead perfor- Ashton Kutcher ( That 70s Show ) stars as Evan, a disturbed youth who products of traumatic events that oc- death — or. say, becoming a crack mance, The Butterfly Effect is a medio- turns to time travel to solve his problems in The Butterfly Effect, an psychological thriller. curred during childhood. whore. Hie challenge is to accom- cre, convoluted theory to explore. 12 THE RICE THRESHER ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT FRIDAY, JANUARY 30,2004

Strong leads add to opera's success ONE WOMAN GRAND HOTEL

OPERA, from Page 13 More concrete than the somewhat in the upper registers and was just as The ambiguity of the setting in anachronistic set and costuming, the powerful in the lower reaches of her Jenufa is enhanced by the costum- musical performances on opening vocal range. Raymond Very's Steva ing which comes from virtually night of both the vocalists and the was a strong, rich tenor who deserves every decade of the 20th century, orchestra felt solid and, for the most recognition. Stefan Margita, in his HGO My Pal Paris: again emphasizing the timeless part, secure. debut as Laca, sang like the faithful nature of the story. To counter the character he portrayed. His sweet tone bleakness of the set, the costumes and sympathetic duets with Steva Our favorite trashy heiress-next-door add an element of humor to the pro- This grisly opera stirred the audience into uproarious duction. Some villagers sport mini poses questions applause at the opera's conclusion. As I watch a rerun of The Simple far away from my own. skirts, go-go boots and tube tops, while Under the direction of conductor Life, the Fox reality show that But wait a minute. Excluding others seem to have come from a '50s regarding those Dennis Russell Davies, the orchestra follows the rural exploits of spoiled that unfortunate sex-tape scan- diner. Respectable mid-calf skirts, evoked the sounds of Czech folk tunes rich girl Paris Hilton and herfriend dal, Paris and I might not be that dresses and suits of the '40s bedeck holding social and played with dynamic contrast be- Nicole Richie, I begin to different. I am often many cast members. Steva himself fitting the action onstage. The percus- wonderwhy America finds told that I have a wears a leather jacket and sharply service offices in sive tapping tied the Moravian music Paris so fascinating. Let's glaring sense of en- collared 70s button down and arrives our own era. to the industrial set. Concertmaster think about it. She does titlement (one of on a motorcycle as though he Denise Tarrant's soli filled the hall fit the current American Paris' trademark just stepped out of Grease. with her beautiful vibrato and glissandi. ideal of beauty: peroxide characteristics), I Kostelnicka's frightening black attire Soprano Patricia Racette gave an Although some ensemble problems emaciation. She is also adore being photo- and starched black hair show her impassioned performance in the lead existed between the singers and the rich and outrageous. But graphed (Paris is a fa- murderous nature almost from the role of Jenufa, though the Kostelnicka, orchestra, such glitches should not what is it that separates vorite of the start. The costumes accentuate ste- sung by soprano Catherine Malfitano, deter opera fans from rushing to hear Paris from other frothy, paparazzi), and I hit reotypes, but make for quick charac- clearly presented the most effective the HGO's innovative and musically ditzy personalities — say multiple parties a terizations. female performance. Her voice soared rich version of Janacek's Jenufa. Drew Barrymore or Jonathan night. Speaking of par- Cameron Diaz? I've got it. Schumann tying, I bet I could drink America loves Paris Hilton Paris under the table. because secretly, when She may be more sea- nobody else is around, we want to soned, but I have more than a few be her. Or, if you are me, at least be pounds on her. Maybe I am just a friends with her. hot blond heiress stuck in a college I have this dark, hidden desire male's body. that I disclose to very few. Deep I see Paris as the epitome inside, I would love to be friends of the party pal. You know the with Paris. I know, it sounds type — bubbly, outgoing, stylish 5814 Kirby Drive absurd. Think about it — what but ultimately disposable. My only would a typical college male have worry is that we will have trouble In Rice Village in common with Paris Hilton? She coordinating outfits for the red is a heiress to one of the world's carpet — Paris' propensity for Better Ingredients. largest hotel chains. She spends pink rhinestone togas will most thousands on shoes, purses and definitely clash with my more Better Pizza. <713)432-7272 outfits that only see the light of toned-down Banana Republic day once. Then there are the taste. extravagant canine accessories But I am optimistic. All friend- to consider. Tinkerbell, Paris' ships have barriers to overcome. uber-cute pint-size companion, Paris and I will just have to learn to Large one topping pizza dresses better than I do. Couture accept our individual tastes and all the way. And what about her get along regardless of our differ- & one two liter Coke® attitude and notorious partying? ing styles. And hey, this is what We have all seen her adventures America — the country that has on the Sunset Strip courtesy of crowned Paris its favorite heiress- El's extremely invasive but oh-so- next-door — is all about. addictive Celebrities Uncensored. $8.99 This girl is out of control. Consid- Jonathan Schumann is Arts & ering this, sometimes I begin to Entertainment Editor and a think that Paris' world is just too Baker College sophomore.

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by Adam Tabakin packed student section, Rice fell "I think it was more or less just THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF behind 23-16 to the Rainbows me trying to stay aggressive on the midway through the first half. floor," McKrieth, who finished with The men's basketball team Following a ti meout, the Owls came a team-high 19 points, said. continued its winning ways at home away with steals on four consecu- "Practice helped us to know Hawaii's Wednesday night, defeating the tive Hawaii possessions to key a offense pretty well, and coach told University of Hawaii 76-73 for its 25-6 run. Rice then took a 43-34 lead us mostly to switch [coverage] on fourth consecutive home victory and into halftime. the guards, to switch likes. I think seventh in its last eight games played that's what we did, and a few I antici- at Autry Court. pated, just recognizing Hawaii's of- WAC STANDINGS Rice's only home losses this sea- fense. But as far as offensively, I was son are to top-10 foes Stanford and Team WAC Overall just reading my guy coming off UConn, and the Owls have not lost Rice 6-2 14-5 screens — I was being aggressive." consecutive games since the end of Fresno State 6-2 10-7 Rice kept up its momentum early the 2001-'02 season. Hawaii 6-2 14-4 in the second half, building its lead The win moves Rice into a three- Nevada 5-3 11-6 to 13 before junior forward Michael way tie for first place in the Western UTEP 4-3 13-4 Harris, the team's leading scorer, Athletic Conference (See Standings, Boise State 3-4 11-6 was forced to leave with leg cramps right) with Hawaii and Fresno State La. Tech 3-4 9-8 with 11 minutes left in the game. He University, both teams Rice has SMU 2-5 8-9 saw limited action the rest of the beaten. The Owls will try to stay in Tulsa 2-5 6-10 game but still finished with 18 points first place when they host last-place San Jose State 0-7 5-12 in just 24 minutes. With Harris out, San Jose State University tomorrow senior forwards Christian Kollik and at 1:05 p.m. Despite the Spartans' Yamar Diene and sophomore for- futility so far this season, head coach "We came out of a timeout, and ward J R. Harrison stepped up their Willis Wilson (Will Rice '82) said Rice we really felt like we needed to ex- games on the inside. must take them seriously tomorrow. tend our defense," Wilson said. "It's a credit to the guys to be able "We've got to keep playing, it's "When our defense is good, our of- to play without him," Wilson said. that simple," Wilson said. "We don't fense tends to take care of itself, and "He's a guy that we really count on show up to the gym to practice — we we came out of that timeout with an for rebounds, especially late in the show up to the gym to improve as a understanding that we needed to do basketball game, with him along- basketball team and take a step a better job on the defensive side of side Yamar Diene — we can really closer to our goals. If we don't come the basketball." pick and choose which side of the for that purpose, there's really no The Owl offense got a direct boost floor we want to attack on." point in being there. To these guys' from the defense, as Rice scored Even though Rice was outshot by credit, every day that we've called 35 points off of 16 steals. Junior for- Hawaii from the field 63 percent to practice, they've done a nice job." ward Jason McKrieth scored nine 49 percent, the difference came at MATT CRNKOV1CH/THRESHER Playing before 2,923 fans — the points and made four steals during the free-throw line. The Owls kept Sophomore forward J.R. Harrison goes up for a shot Wednesday against third-largest home crowd of the the run following the timeout to key Hawaii in foul trouble all night and Hawaii at Autry Court. Harrison had nine points in Rice's 76-73 win. The Owls season — as well as another jam- the late first-half charge. See BASKKTBALL, Page 16 host last-place San Jose State tomorrow at 1:05 p.m. at Autry Court. Men's tennis hosts ranked Vaulting pair sets Rice mark by Dylan Hedrick impressive, because the vaulters almost THRESHER EDITORIAL STAIT missed the event entirely. "Beth's poles were locked in her garage, opponents at Bentwater After just one meet with the whole team in and they were late wanning up," pole vault competition, the women's track and field team coach David Butler said. "They were all got three matches under our belt, though, has already vaulted to the front of the pack in flustered. When they went on the runway, by Zach Epstein so I think we're ready." the Western Athletic Conference. they got totally focused. Both are hitting THRESHER STAFF Tlie Owls built some momentum with a Seniors Ally Daum and Beth Hinshaw both technical positions that we have been training While most of the sporting world stellar performance Saturday, defeating the set a new school record in the pole vault last for [for] a lot of years." descends on Houston this weekend, the University of Arkansas-little Rock and the Friday at the Ixonard Hilton Memorial Meet, With her performance, Daum was men's tennis team ironically heads out of University of New Orleans by identical held at the Bill Yeoman Fieldhouse on the named WAC Indoor Track and Field Athlete town to host two matches at the Bentwater 4-0 scores at the Met Business and Sports University of Houston campus. of the Week. Country Club in Montgomery, Tex. Club in downtown Houston. Both "The pole vaulters were the highlight of Although the vaulters had a record setting of Rice's opponents were tied for a our outing," head coach Victor Lopez said. "I meet, Lopez was disappointed with the rest of No. 75 national ranking, but Rice sealed the think that mark may hold for [the NCAA] the team's performance. best-of-seven matches in the early going. qualifying [standards]." 'The rest have a lot of work to do," Lopez 'We have to make sure we Senior William Barker and sophomore Daum and Hinshaw both topped 13 feet, said. "I saw a lot of good things, but there were Tony Haerle were the only two players to 3 1/2 inches, which bests the previous Rice too many mistakes — a lack of concentration start off very well in win two singles matches on the day, as five record of 12-8, set by Hinshaw at the and intensity. It was what I expected for the of the 12 total singles matches were not 2002 WAC Indoor Championships. Hinshaw first meet of the year." doubles, and if we get the completed. In the first match, Rice also swept said the two push each other to greater heights. Despite Lopez's criticism, Rice had a strong doubles point, ... we are the doubles point. Haerle said the doubles "We've been working on all the little things showing in the mile run. with three runners point, which is usually contested first, will through the whole off-season and the begin- placing in the top 10 in the event. Sophomore pumped up to play.' be especially important for Rice this spring. ning of this season, and it all has come Kate Gorry finished behind TCU's Mary "There's only one [doubles point], so together," Hinshaw said. "We usually make Kinyanjuiin 5 minutes. 1.99 seconds, just 0.41 — Tony Haerle it's veiy important to us," Haerle said. "We little pacts on like, 'We've done this height. seconds off of the lead. Sophomore Brandi ISf Sophomore tennis player have to make sure we start off very well in I>et's go to the next height.' We egg each Armstrong was the second Owl to finish, plac- doubles, and if we get the doubles point, it other on a little bit." ing sixth in 5:14.44, while sophomore Anna becomes much easier once we have The high marks were even more See TRACK. Page 17 After one of the Owls' matches momentum, and we are pumped up to play." Saturday was forced indoors due to rain, Rice has a big advantage in doubles play Rice moved its matches today against thanks to seniors William and Richard WEEKLY SPORTS SCHEDULE No. 36 University of Arizona and Sunday Barker, ranked third nationally, who went against No. 37 Fresno State from the Jake 19-0 in dual-match play last year. VWiere and when to support Rice Athletics HessTennis Stadium to the indoor facility Rice has also picked up depth in the bot- 58 miles outside of Houston. tom half of the singles order, where 7 laerle, Friday 1/30 11 a.m. Men's Tennis vs. Arizona (Bentwater C.C.) Although the Owls are ranked 24th, the senior Vuk Rajevac and freshman Ben Celebrity Flag Football Game (Rice Stadium) matches are still important because they Harknett, a January transfer, are all above- Saturday 1/31 11 a.m. need wins over other ranked opponents to average players. Harknett won his first match Doug Flutie vs. Andre Ware. Who would you want move up further. Head coach Ron Smarr at Rice against UNO with a 6-4, 7-6 win at as your college's flag football team quarterback? said this weekend will be just the begin- No. 6 singles. Sophomore Rob Searle is the 1 p.m. Men's BBall vs. San Jose State (Autry Court) ning of a season filled with ranked oppo- top Owl singles player, and sophomore Sunday 2/1 11 a.m. Men's Tennis vs. Fresno State (Bentwater C.C.) nents and tough matches. Rodrigo Gabriel and freshman Jason Mok Thursday 2/5 7 p.m. Women's BBall vs. UTEP (Autry Court) also competed in singles last weekend. "With the schedule we have, everybody Saturday 2/7 11 a.m. Swimming vs. SMU (Rice Pool) we play is nationally ranked except for "We've got some depth this year and a full Your only chance to see swimming at home this year. three teams," Smarr said. "As for this team of solid tennis players," Smarr said. 2 p.m. Baseball Alumni Game (Reckling Park) weekend, both | Arizona and Fresno State) The Owls are gunning for a Every first-round pick in school history (except Lance) made it to the [NCAA tournament] round top-16 national ranking in their quest to of 32 last year, and they've basically got host an NCAA regional at Jake HessTen- will be there. So should you. their whole teams returning again. We've nis Stadium. 7 p.m. Women's BBall vs. Boise State (Autry Court) 14 THE RICE THRESHER SPORTS FRIDAY, JANUARY 30,2004 Lady Owls ride west with home-court momentum Each contributed at least nine points by Amber Obermeyer Spartans are a formidable opponent, playing on the road looms even in the victory. THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF larger for Rice. The post dominance is also After a successful home stand In the two-and-a-half years the visible on defense, as Rice leads the that saw the women's basketball WAC has had its current member- WAC in blocked shots. Neaves' team win three Western Athletic ship, head coach Cristy McKinney 38 blocks for the season already Conference matchups in a row by and her Lady Owls have amassed a rank fourth in Rice single-season an average of 26 points, the Lady near-perfect 22-1 record in confer- history, and she is on pace to fall just Owls have headed west for games ence home games; their road short of current senior Johnetta against the University of Hawaii last record, though, is a much more Hayes' record 70 blocks from the night and San Jose State University pedestrian 10-10. 2001-'02 season and 69 last year. tomorrow. While that statistic is normal in Neaves credited Rice's preparation With their impressive play of women's basketball — the home in practice for its success. late, the Lady Owls have started to team was won 64 percent of separate themselves from most of conference games in the same time the WAC,. but San Jose State frame — McKinney said she hoped m remains only two games behind. the Lady Owls could carry their The Spartans' only home momentum to Hawaii. 7Last weekend] was as conference loss was to perennial "We've just come off a great fun as it gets. It's a powerhouse Louisiana Tech, and homestand and played with a lot of San Jose State notched an intensity, and now we've got to take good feeling — it makes impressive 28-point win over that intensity on the road," Hawaii on the opening weekend of McKinney said. The key thing was you feel like the hard conference play. that we had three really good days of San Jose State's undisputed practice [a week ago], and it showed work has paid off." leader is senior guard Cricket in the way we played." — Lindsey Maynard Williams, a first team all-WAC selec- Rice was dominant in all three Senior guard tion last year. This season, she ranks home games, highlighted by a sixth in the conference in points per 55-point first-half outburst Jan. 22 game and leads the WAC in assists against Fresno State University. It per game. Though Williams and her took the Bulldogs the entire game to "We were prepared for which way match Rice's first-half point total in each player was going to turn, so we

a 97-55 blowout. were in the right position to block •>'. • Every Lady Owl played between their shots," Neaves said. MATT CRNKOVICH/THRESHER IN FOCUS: WOMEN'S 12 and 24 minutes, except for junior Since being inserted into the Lady Sophomore guard Rosyland Jeffries drives against Nevada's Amber Young BASKETBALL forward Annie Peck, who fouled out Owls' starting lineup two weeks ago Saturday at Autry Court. The Lady Owls crushed the Wolf Pack 78-49. in just nine minutes. McKinney against Tulsa, junior point guard Record: 9-7 praised her substitutes for their Eshombi Singleton has solidified the point right now," McKinney feeling — it makes you feel like the seamless transition into the flow of Rice's offense, dishing out a total of said. "She's making good decisions hard work has paid off." WAC record; 6-1 (2nd) the game. 10 assists in last weekend's games and seeing the floor well. [Senior Including this weekend's Last week: Had two "What can you say except, 'Good against only three turnovers. guard Lindsey Maynard] has been difficult road trip, the Lady Owls decisive conference blowout job?" McKinney said. "We moved Singleton said her comfort level has steady all year, getting a few play five of their next seven games victories over Fresno State the ball well and got good shots. I improved with each start. assists here and there from that on the road, a stretch that will go a and Nevada to bring Rice's was very pleased with the way we "I've gotten the feel for my guard position. When we have long way toward determining their home win streak to five played during the first half, and who- teammates," Singleton said. "I know moved the ball well, we have been destiny in the WAC. McKinney was games. ever I put in off of the bench played who to get the ball to and at what really good." optimistic about her team's progress. What made the difference: well as well." times. I make a few mistakes now Maynard continues to be Rice's Michelle Woods and Lindsey Though Rice's win Saturday and then, but I've gotten the feel for most consistent contributor "The team has kept working Maynard scored in double against Nevada lacked the crisp it now, knowing everybody and what offensively. She scored 16 and hard and is really coming together digits in both games to lead perfection of the victory over Fresno their capabilities are." 11 points against Fresno State and now," McKinney said. "We've the Owls' offensive attack. State, the Lady Owls nonetheless Singleton has not, however, been Nevada respectively, running her responded very well from lour only manhandled the Wolf Pack by a the only I>ady Owl successfully find- double-digit scoring streak to eight conference loss to UTEP], and Up next: Rice continues its 78-49 score. Nevada had no answer ing her teammates. Rice leads the games. Maynard said the I^ady Owls' hopefully we will stay focused and West Coast road trip to San for Rice's four post players — Peck, conference in assists, and McKinney recent dominance was the fruition stay strong. This team has been a Jose State (12-4.4-3 WAC) junior forward Michelle Woods, said she was pleased with her team's of early-season work. little crazy all year in different at 9:00 p.m. CST. freshman forward Lauren Neaves improved ball movement. " [ I^ast weekend) was as fun as it ways, but I think they are starting and senior forward Elisa Inman. "Eshombi is doing a great job at gets," Maynard said. "It's a good to gel — knock on wood." Freshman track stars make early impact

by Dylan Hedrick Freshman Devon Fanfair, a Two other freshmen, Steve "I just have so much room to THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF Western Athletic Conference Indoor Magness and Pablo Solares, also improve, so I expect things like that," Track and Field Athlete of the Week made big contributions in their first Stadel said. "It shows me that I'm The men's track and field team nominee, won the triple jump in his collegiate meet. Magnessplaeed third heading in the right direction. I Wayne Graham and started its indoor season on the right first collegiate competition with a with a time of 1:53.85 in the haven't thrown in a competition in foot with a strong showing Friday at leap of 47 feet, three inches on his 800-meter run, which was won by seven or eight months, so it's always UH's Bill Yeoman the Leonard Hilton Memorial Meet, sixth and final attempt. Fanfair also senior Adam Davis in 1:52.91. good when you come out and do a held at the Bill Yeoman Fieldhouse on placed eighth in the long jump, Solares ran a 4:16.02 in the mile personal record like that." the University of Houston campus. clearing 21-11. run, also earning third place. He was The 200-meter dash featured two prove that Houston just 0.01 second out of second place football players returning to the track and less than two seconds off leader for their final season. Seniors Ben knows how to put SPRIN B Jackson I^angat from TCU. Wiggins and Clifford Sparks finished "You don't expect any phenom- back to back with sixth- and enal marks, but they were very seventh-place finishes in 22.50 and on a show, tap- good," head coach Jon Warren 22.93, respectively. (Jones '88) said. "Steve started with The team will take this weekend dancing and all. one of his best 800s that he has ever off from competition to prepare for run. Pablo had a pretty good mile. the Houston Indoor Invitational, He went out with a guy who was which will be held back at the Yeo- We get to take pictures of awesome, and he faded a little bit." man Field House Feb. 7. Despite that show, top hats and all. Magness also ran the first leg the extra week between events, thresher-photo& of the team's distance medley Warren said the training schedule relay — a 1,200-meter run — and will likely remain the same. opened a huge lead for teammates "Unlike football or soccer, Solares, senior Kevin Bowen and where every conference game mat- junior Aaron Redman. ters, we aren't really training meet "The DMR team probably had a to meet," Warren said. "Our 70-meter lead after (Magness'| leg," conference meet is what really Warren said. "No one ever got close matters, so we continue to train ••y" <>*, .,#&• after his first leg." towards that. The oddity of it is In the 35-pound weight throw, that we have a [winter] season freshman T.J. Fairbanks also that's ending right as we have [an performed well in his first meet, indoor] conference meet in the placing seventh with a throw of middle of February; we can't 41 feet, 1 1/2 inches. forget that we have [an outdoor] "It was a new experience, and it conference meet in May as well. was fun," Fairbanks said. "My back You can't put all of your eggs in a tightened up on me, so I didn't February basket." have the best mark, but it was still After one successful meet. War- all right." ren said he expects the team to be Sophomore Luke Stadel set a more confident returning to the track personal record in the shot put. next weekend. After red-shirting the indoor season "I^st week was a nice beginning," last year, he topped his previous Warren said. "I think we will walk in

^ . .•? -A-V outdoor best of 48-9 with a seventh- on [Feb. 7], and we won't be wide- mmmmm/H/M place throw of 49-5 1/2. eyed and wonder what is going on." M ' . . THE RICE THRESHER SPORTS FEATURE FRIDAY, JANUARY 30,2004 15

Story by Jason Gershman 'Larry Izzo: hungry for another ring Page Design by Catherine Adcock

Most of the New England Patriots practicing at Rice Monday in preparation for Super Bowl XXXVIII were on unfamiliar territory. For Patriots linebacker Larry Izzo (Sid *02), it was a return to old stomping grounds. "How many guys get the chance to take their team to their old college and say, 'Hey, this is where I used to play, and this is where I used to live when I was a freshman?" Izzo said. "How many guys get to play tour guide for their teammates at the Super Bowl? This is not something I ever imagined happening, especially when I was at Rice." Izzo said he appreciates how his career has brought him back to its inception. 9 "I was just sitting in the [Rice Stadium] weight room, getting a little lift in, and when [Rice people] came in, it was just surreal," Izzo said. "Yeah, I've sort of come full circle — going back to the place where things really started for me." Izzo is in his seventh NFL season and third with the Patriots. He has played in two Pro Bowls and has already won a Super Bowl championship ring with the Patriots in Super Bowl XXXVI. Like many Rice athletes in professional sports, however, Izzo did not have an easy road to the NFL. A high school star in The Woodlands, Izzo — at 5-foot- 10 and 220 pounds — was overlooked by many schools because he was small for a linebacker. Izzo proved his critics wrong: By the time he finished his senior season at Rice in 1995, Izzo was a two-time all-Southwest Conference selection. Izzo remains the all-time Rice leader in tackles for loss, with 46. Jacksonville Jaguars defensive end Brandon Green, who completed his Rice career last year, finished his career with

45 tackles for loss. Such high totals come naturally to COURTESY LARRYTHEUZARD.COM defensive linemen like Green, but Izzo spent his Rice career Larry Izzo (Sid '02) pretends to eat a lizard at a 2002 NFL Draft party. (No animals were harmed in the shooting of this photo.) at bandit, a hybrid between linebacker and safety, requiring incredible speed and persistence to make plays in the backfield. son I am at this level — he taught me about life and football at an It was these qualities that then-Miami Dolphins head coach early age, and I credit him for everything I've accomplished," Izzo Jimmy Johnson saw immediately at training camp in 1996. Although said. "I've dedicated this [Super Bowl] to him and his memory." Izzo entered camp as an undrafted free agent, he was the first Dolphin After recording two tackles against the Browns, Izzo flew to back rookie that year to be signed for the season, ahead of such notables to Houston for his father's memorial service, then to West Point, as two-time Pro Bowl linebacker Zach Thomas. Izzo has since proven N.Y., for the funeral. Two days later, he was back on the football field that size is not the only factor in success as an NFL linebacker. and recorded four tackles against the Denver Broncos. "A lot of outside people put stereotypes on football players," Izzo "After losing Dad on Saturday, for my family, watching me play said. "I don't fit the prototype linebacker's size, but I feel I'm every football on Sunday was a break from some tough issues that they bit as capable as anyone of producing when I'm on the field. I think were dealing with," Izzo said. "It was a difficult time for everyone, maybe the media puts more of the stereotypes out there. But when and I had the easiest job — to go out and play football." you look around the league and talk to personnel people, they look Izzo said football has helped take his mind off such family issues at production — this is a production business." "It has been a tough year for myself and my family, but fortunately Izzo played four seasons for the Dolphins between 1996 and we've had football to act as a break from reality, and we've been able 2000, missing the 1998 season due to injury, before becoming a free to play until the last game," Izzo said. "[Football] has been a distrac- agent and heading to rival New England. In his first season with the tion from a lot of the emotional things that come along with losing a Patriots, New England won the Super Bowl, and Izzo was selected close family member. But, emotionally, my dad is with me every day." to his second Pro Bowl. He was also selected as the Patriots' special- His father's death was not the only difficult issue Izzo faced off teams captain, an honor he still holds. the field this season. In October, Izzo and nine other NFL players His Super Bowl ring, however, was not the only prized posses- were subpoenaed to testify in the government's probe of Victor Conte, the founder of Bay Area Iaboratory Co-operative (BALCO). Conte and Balco came under fire last fall for allegedly providing the designer steroid THG to athletes from various sports. It is so hard to get to this Conte's company was raided in September by both the Internal Revenue Service and a narcotics task force, but the subpoenas are point that I just feel fortu- believed to relate only to the IRS portion of the investigation. "I'm not concerned about it at all," Izzo said. "I had a legitimate nate for the opportunity. relationship with a supplement company and. unfortunately, I went — Larry Izzo (Sid '02) out and had to testify. But there are no repercussions from that, and it was what it was." Despite the off-field issues, Izzo had another spectacular season. sion Izzo received in 2002. After many years as a part-time student He led the Patriots in special-teams tackles for the third consecutive and many correspondence classes, Izzo completed his Rice degree year — with 31 — and recorded his first career interception in the and crossed the stage at commencement in May 2002. Several of final minutes of the Patriots' last regular-season game. Izzo's former Rice teammates also graduated that year, including Despite having played in Miami and in Foxboro, Mass., Izzo still current Philadelphia Eagles defensive end N.D. Kalu (Baker '02) calls Houston his home in the offseason. He said he is very proud of and 1991 Doak Walker Award (nation's top running back) winner his alma mater and of his home city, which he feels is doing an Trevor Cobb Qones '02). excellent job promoting itself. "I regretted not being able to finish up sooner, but I wanted that degree, and it was important to myself and my family to get it done," Izzo said. "Fortunately in the offseason, I was able to take some correspondence classes and graduate. [Kalu] is a good friend of mine, and Trevor Cobb, when I came in, was our star running back. I've come full circle — going It was a great experience to all walk on the same day." back to the place where If the Patriots win Sunday, Izzo will earn his second champion- ship ring, but regardless of the result, a more important event things really started for me. awaits later in February. In three weeks, Izzo and fiancee Mara Peralta are scheduled to marry in Houston. This has also been a season of sadness for Izzo, however. On Oct. 25, one day before he was scheduled to take the field against the Cleveland Browns in his 100th NFL game, his father Urry died "Houston has been putting on a great show for us," Izzo said. after a seven-month battle with pancreatic cancer. Izzo flew home to "The city is representing itself well, and it's just good to be home. be with his father, a United States Armed Forces veteran, during his I've seen a lot of familiar faces. To come back home, [practice] at final hours before returning to New England to play the next day. Rice, and [be able] to show off the city ot Houston — which I am "There was no question that losing [my dad] the day before the proud of — is something that has been an amazing experience." Cleveland game was tough, but there Izzo said the Super Bowl's location provided extra incentive to was no doubt that I was going to make it to the game this year. play," Izzo said. "That was what "I remember when Houston was. awarded the Super Bowl a he would've wanted. He would couple of years ago, I was thinking to myself how great it would be have been disappointed if I to make it," Izzo said. "But it is so hard to get to this point — so many hadn't played. My career has things have to happen — that I just feel really fortunate for the always been very important to opportunity." him and my family, so for me Izzo enjoyed relaxed events earlier this week before returning to not to play in that game was a full practice schedule Wednesday. He hopes to help lead the not even an option." Patriots to a 15th consecutive win Sunday. During an NFL season in "I can remember being four years old and playing football in the which Green Bay Packers backyard with my dad and brothers and dreaming of playing in the quarterback Brett Favre re- Super Bowl," Izzo said. "But to do it here, in my hometown, is ceived much acclaim for playing something that I don't think I could've ever imagined as being through his father's death, Izzo is also possible." playing for his father. "My dad is the rea- Editor in chief Mark Rerenson contributed to this story — - r?' ' '• '

•V?$' •-• V • £fV- ' ' i W^W'-M:r' :C THE RICE THRESHER SPORTS FRIDAY, JANUARY 30,2004 —

to students in e-mail BASKETBALL, from Page 13 make against the good teams to be hit on 25 of 34 free-throw attempts, able to be successful." while the Rainbows were 5-of-7 from McKrieth has been making those the line. Senior point guard Rashid kinds of plays all season, and his Smith led the way by hitting all eight biggest came Jan. 22 in a dramatic of his free throws. 65-63 road win at Fresno State. McKrieth drained a 17-foot jump shot with 1.0 seconds remaining to break the fie for a crucial road win. Pi 'You gave us the home Although Rice was humbled two days later in a 101-76 defeat against court advantage that Nevada, McKrieth ran his school record for consecutive free throws we needed ...Iknow to 38 (in more than eight full games) before missing one Wednesday. that the players get so McKrieth led an outstanding de- pumped up when they fensive effort against Hawaii with five steals, but Rice also forced several see all of those white near shot-clock violations with stifling half-court defense. tee shirts jumping up Wilson, who interacted with the student section at many points and down during the second half, credited the — Willis Wilson enthusiastic student support, led by the Michigan State-inspired Head coach, in an e-mail JENN MOLHOIT/THRESHER WilZONE student section, with en- addressed to students ergizing his team's tough defensive play at home. Just like in 'Old School ' 'To see the students turn out the Junior hooker Rachel Tardif, of Brown College, enjoys a postgame mudfest after the women's rugby team "When we're playing a close ball way that they have the last couple of competed against Texas State-San Marcos Saturday on the rugby pitch. game, every little thing counts, so games is just fabulous," Wilson said. you have to take advantage," Smith, "It's energizing. To see them out there who also had seven assists, said. "A and to see them having a good time at free throw missed here, a free throw the end of the game and showing missed there, and you find that you've enthusiasm and excitement — I don't Women's tennis heads to Minnesota gone from up one or two to down one think there's any question that our by Christine Chen Head coach Roger White said the tively, each losing just two total or two. You've just got to take advan- guys want to win for them and make games in straight-set victories. THRESHER STAFF team's impressive dominance last tage of all those opportunities and this a tough place to play and continue weekend bodes well for the Senior Annie Goodrich breezed make them when they count, espe- to make it a tough place to play for the The women's tennis team tournament tomorrow and Sunday. at No. 5 singles, while Chao and cially in close ball games." people we have left to come in." confidently whipped both Texas junior Erika Villalobos each 33 Chai Hawaii's three-point shooting Wilson also sent an e-mail ad- A&M University-Corpus Christi and recorded 6-2, 6-3 victories. Forced 0-0 ( kept the game close, and the Owls dressed to all students to the Sam Houston State University inside by the rainy weather, the 3-7 : did not seal the win until Diene drew ALLDEPTS listserv less than two Saturday with shutout wins indoors 'We went out and teams did not have time to play Tot^ a charging foul with 18 seconds hours after the game. at The Woodlands Country Club. doubles. remaining and Rice protecting a four- "I can't begin to tell you what a With a flawless 3-0 record so far, showed no mercy. The Owls went on to dominate point lead. difference you make for the team," the Owls will take on host University again against the Bearkats, 5 8 Hopefully, this will 4-5 "He took a charge on the baseline, Wilson wrote. "You gave us the home of Minnesota tomorrow in the first breezing to the doubles point by a O 0-> and it was one of the bigger plays court advantage that we needed ... I round of the four-team Minnesota carry- over to next combined 24-2 margin. Archer and Tote that we've had all year long," Wilson know that the players get so pumped Court Classic in Minneapolis, Minn. DiSesa teamed up at first doubles, said. "It's the kind of play you have to up when they see all of those white The other three teams in the field weekend when we play with Chao and junior Tracie Chong tee shirts jumping up and down." are ranked ahead of Rice: at No. 2, and Fisher and Goodrich No. 14 William & Mary, No. 29 Geor- tougher teams.' winning at No. 3. gia Tech and No. 40 Minnesota. — Blair DiSesa In singles, Chong, Goodrich and "Our team is definitely looking sophomore Melissa Back cashed in Sophomore tennis player forward to [this] weekend in on three points by sweeping their Ass Minnesota and playing against respective matches without dropping 10) Come Worship with Us! much tougher teams," senior a game. Archer, DiSesa and Fisher Karen Chao said. "This will be our "The girls definitely have the also recorded easy victories over their West University Baptist Church invites you to first test against highly ranked talent to make things happen," White respective opponents. Rl worship, the study of God's Word, and fellowship. opponents. If we get a good win, said. "They completed two dual "We went out there and showed Jaru that will boost our confidence for matches this week in a four-hour no mercy," DiSesa said. ".Ml *he wins Ric the rest of the season." time span, which is amazing. It is were pretty much extremely Sa We have both contemporary and traditional Sunday worship Sophomore Blair DiSesa said the like playing two football games or decisive, which is good to see. Owls are not fazed at facing the host basketball games in four hours. Hopefully, this will carry over to next Ric services, as well as a college-level Sunday school class that is Har team in the opening match, because We're looking to be aggressive and weekend when we play tougher 0-0 attended by many Rice University and Medical Sonool students the Golden Gophers have yet to play to come in and take advantage of all teams. It's great to know that we can Will r this year. the opportunities that we create." still go out and play our best, no 11 and taught by Dr. Jim Tour. Free breakfast i> always served in 5 1 matter the circumstances." the class, along with an opportunity to take the Lord's Supper "I believe our experience will Rice started off strong in the Tot allow us to jump on them quickly," first match Saturday against White said the early-season each Sunday morning. DiSesa said. "We definitely have the A&M-CC. In singles, senior Yasmin performances reflect the team's SJ! Wo willpower and talent on the team to Fisher cruised to a resounding 6-0, dedication. 68 do some damage. 6-0 victory at No. 4 singles. "I think the girls did an excellent Bol We are located 2 miles directly west of campus, 6218 Auden 0 0 "There's a really good chance DiSesa and fellow sophomore job," White said. "There was a lot of Tot between University and Rice. Free round-trip shuttle service is that Minnesota will underestimate Lauren Archer, ranked 51st focus and intensity. The girls have us. They have no clue what they nationally, stayed solid at their been training this way since they Thr> provided each Sunday morning leaving at 8:15 AM and 9:15 0-1 are in for." No. 1 and No. 2 positions, respec- returned from [winter recess)." lam AM on the loop in front of Rice's Allen Center. See (Wc www.wubc.org for more details, or call 713-668-2319. Ref 34 Contemporary Worship: 8:30 AM BE3T MUSICAL 1996 TONY AWARD* Ass Sunday School: 9:45 AM 1996 PULITZER PRIZE (Lei Traditional Worship: 11:00 AM

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THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, JANUARY 30,2004 17

Rebounds — Nevada 3? 'Quick-Rath 7), Rice 39 BY THE (Neaves 9, Peck 9) NUMBERS Assists — Nevada 4 (Graham 2), Rice 23 (Singleton Gorry narrowly misses victory in mile 7) 22-28 Attendance — 641 TRACK, from Page 13 0.09 seconds behind Mayes' sixth- of seniors Shannon Murto, Keia Reeve placed 10th in 5:22.12. place finish with a time of 7.65. Watkins and Megan Smith and FRESNO STATE 85 RICE 97 "I think Kate was a bit Umeh also competed in the sophomore Lauren Murphy dropped January 22, 2004 — Autry Court disappointed," Lopez said. "That's 200-meter dash, running the lap in 16 seconds from last week's time to Fresno State 24 31 — 55 not her main event. We're using that 25.65 and placing ninth. Sophomore 12:26.31 in a second-place finish. Rice 55 42 — 97 as preparation for her 5,000[-meter Funmi Jimoh took seventh place in Rice will now take this weekend run]. 1 think that in her main event, the event by crossing the line in 25.31. off before returning to Yeoman FSU (7-10, 1-6) she is going to be a factor — not just In the high jump, Jimoh tied Fieldhouse Feb. 7 for the Houston Moore 1-3 0-1 2, Green 2-12 10-13 14, Clark 0-2 0- 0 0, Sutherland 1-4 0-0 2. Mack 3-6 0-0 9. Diggs 2 in the conference, but in nationals." for second place by clearing 5-6, Indoor Invitational. With the week 10 4-7 8, Perera 0-2 0-0 0. Selmon 3-5 0-0 6. Sophomore Nina Mayes is and sophomore Flo Nwagwu off, Murphy knows it means another MEN'S BASKETBALL Fleming 1-3 0-0 3, Plummer 2-5 0-0 4. Probst 1-3 0- week of hard work to prepare for the 0 2, Lane 2-3 1-2 5 already looking in midseason form, earned fifth place with her jump of Totals: 18 58 15-23 55 as she posted a 7.56 time in the 5-4 1/2. Jimoh was also Rice's top next competition. HAWAII 73 RICE 76 60-meter dash. Mayes' best time finisher in the 60-meter hurdles, "When we have a meet, we January 28, 2004 — Autry Court Rice (8-7, 5-1) usually take it easy a couple of days Neaves 5-11 3-3 13, Woods 5-11 0-0 10. Singleton from last year's indoor season was a as she took 13th place in 9.01. Hawaii 34 39 73 1-2 1-2 4. Maynard 7 111-116, Cunningham 4-6 1 7.48 in the conference indoor Freshman Jasmine Davis earned before, so we have fresh legs," 76 5 10, Stovall 2-4 0-0 4, Beckler 3-4 0-0 9. Frazier 2- championships. Junior Yvonne 14th place in 9.15. Murphy said. "I expect now to be Rice 43 33 5 2-2 7, Jeffries 3-5 3-4 10, Elder 1-3 0-1 2, Inman 2-4 0-0 5, Peck 3-5 1-1 7 Umeh finished four places and Rice's distance medley relay crew sore for a week." Hawaii (14-4, 6-2) Totals: 38-71 12-19 97 Martin 4-6 0-0 8. Sensley 8-13 1-120, Shimonovich 4-5 0-2 8, Lee 1-2 0-0 2. Kuebler 10-16 0-0 24, Three-point goals — FSU 4-12 (Sutherland 0-1, Carter 2-3 0-0 5, Nash 1-2 0-0 2, Blackett 0-0 0-0 Mack 3-5, Diggs 0-2, Perera 0-1, Fleming 1-2, 0, Jensinskis 0-1 4-4 4 PlummerO-l), Rice 9-14 (Singleton 1-1, Maynard 1 Totals: 30-48 5-7 73 3, Cunningham 1-2, Beckler 3-3, Frazier 1-2. Jeffries 1-1, Elder 0-1, Inman 1-1) Rice (14-5, 6-2) Harrison 3-6 3-4 9, Harris 8-10 2-3 18, McKrieth 7- Rebounds —FSU 37 (Green 7, Plummer 7), Rice 44 11 3-4 19, Gillespie 1-8 4-5 7, Smith 0-2 8 8 8, (Neaves 11) Williams 1-2 0-2 2, Kollik 0-0 0-0 0, Okrzesik 0-0 0- 0 0, Moore 2-5 2-2 6, Diene 2-5 3-6 7 Assists — FSU 9 (Plummer 3), Rice 23 (Maynard 4) Totals: 24-49 25-34 76 Attendance — 321 Three-point goals — Hawaii 8-17 (Sensley 3-5, Kuebler 4-9, Carter 1-2, Nash 0-1), Rice 3-11 (McKrieth 2-2, Gillespie 1-7, Williams 0-1, Moore a MEN'S TENNIS 1) ARK.-LITTLE ROCK 0 RICE 4 Rebounds — Hawaii 22 (Sensley 11), Rice 28 - (Harrison 5, Harris 5, Moore 5) January 24,2004 — The Met Business & Sports Club

Assists — Hawaii 22 (Carter 6), Rice 13 (Smith 7) Singles medium 1-topping 1. Searle (RU) v. Faisst (UALR), susp. Attendance — 2,923 2. W. Barker (RU) d. Poutchinets (UALR) 6 2, 6-2 3. R. Barker (RU) v. Falk (UALR), susp. RICE 76 NEVADA 101 pizza 6 2 cans of Coke V m ' Wr 4. Haerle (RU) d. Bunt (UALR) 6-3, 6-1 • * January 24, 2004 5. Rajevac (RU) d. Baxendine (UALR) 6-2, 7-6 Lawlor Events Center, Reno, Nev. 6. Mok (RU) v. Murali (UALR), susp. no coupon required Doubles Deep dish may be extra Rice 31 45 76 1. Barker/Barker (RU) d. Faisst/Falk (UALR) 8-2 Nevada 57 44 101 2. Edney/Poutchinets (UALR) d. Haerle/Rajevac (RU) 9-8 3. Searle/Morita (RU) d. Bunt/Murali (UALR) 8-6 Rice (13-5, 5-2) Gillespie 2-3 1-1 6, Harrison 3-12 0-0 6, Smith 3-5 3-3 11, Harris 3-7 6-10 13, McKrieth 2-7 6-6 11. NEW ORLEANS 0 RICE 4 Chancellor 0-0 0-0 0, Williams 1-1 0-0 2, Kollik 2-6 January 24.2004 —The Met Business & Sports Club 0-0 6, Okrzesik 1-1 2-2 4, Almond 0-1 0-0 0, Moore 3-7 2-6 9, Killings 0-2 0-0 0, Diene 4-7 0-2 8 Singles Totals: 24 59 20 30 76 1. Searle (RU) v. Bernard (UNO), susp. Large 1-toppping 2. W. Barker (RU) d. Houard (UNO) 6-0, 2-6, 6-1 Nevada (11-6, 5-3) 3. R. Barker (RU) d. Ros-Barbier (UNO) 6-2, 7-6 Snyder 5-13 11-15 22. Okeson 3-7 8-8 16, Pinkney 4. Haerle (RU) d. Rebuffe (UNO) 7-6. 7-5 pizza 6 3 cans of Coke 5-8 1-1 11, Fazekas 9-11 4-5 22, Hill-Thomas 6-8 5. Harknett (RU) d. Ali (UNO) 6-4. 7-6 4-5 16, Taylor 1-1 0-0 2. Shiloh 1-2 1-2 3, Kemp 0- 6. Gabriel (RU) v. De La Mettrie (UNO), susp. 8.30 0 0-0 0. Washington 3-5 0-0 6, Paul 1-2 1-2 3 no coupon required Doubles Totals: 34 57 30 38 101 Not Played Pius tax Deep dish may be extra Three-point goals — Rice 8-17 (Gillespie 1-2, Harrison 0-2. Smith 2-3, Harris 1-3, McKrieth 1-2. WOMEN'S TENNIS Kollik 2-3. Moore .1-2), Nevada 3-7 (Snyder 1-2, Okeson 2-4. Fazekas 0-1) TEXAS A&M-CC 0 RICE 6 In The Village Rebounds — Rice 30 (Harris 7). Nevada 37 (Snyder January 24, 2004 7, Fazekas 7) The Woodlands Country Club. The Woodlands Assists — Rice 14 (Smith 4), Nevada 23 (Snyder Singles (713) 523-7770 10) DiSesa (RU) d. Figueiredo (TAMU-CC) 6-2, 6-0 Archer (RU) d. Sanchez (TAMU-CC) 6-0, 6-2 Attendance — 8,873 Chao (RU) d. Burton (TAMU-CC) 6-2, 6-3 5733 Klrby Dr. Fisher (RU) d. Brahim (TAMU-CC) 6-0, 6-0 Open 11 am to 2 am Mon. - Sun. RICE 65 FRESNO STATE 63 Goodrich (RU) d. Schmidt (TAMU-CC) 6-0, 6 1 January 22, 2004 — Save Mart Center, Fresno. Calif. Doubles Rice 33 32 65 Not Played San Jose State 30 33 63 SAM HOUSTON STATE 0 RICE 7 Rice (13-4, 5-1) January 24. 2004 Harrison 1-4 0-0 2, Harris 6-7 4 9 16, Gillespie 1-9 Ule also serue: 0-0 3, Smith 2-4 2-2 7, McKrieth 1014 2-2 24. The Woodlands Country Club. The Woodlands Williams 2-3 0-1 5, Okrzesik 0-0 0-2 0, Almond 1-3 1-1 3, Moore 0-4 0-0 0, Killings 0-0 0-0 0, Diene 2- Singles Get The Door. ^ Breadsticks Cheesy Bread 5 1-2 5 1. Archer (RU) d. Hassib (SHSU) 6-1, 6-2 W Totals: 25 53 10 19 65 2. DiSesa (RU) d, McDougall (SHSU) 6-1. 6-0 It's Domino's. C)t(_Co|a ^ 3. Chong (RU) d. Flores (SHSU) 6-0. 6-0 SJSU (9-7, 5-2) 4. Fisher (RU) d. Rudich (SHSU) 6-0, 6-1 i Woods 4-10 0-0 9. Ai Sayyad 3-4 13 7. Pettis 7 12 5. Goodrich (RU) d. Yurkiw (SHSU) 6-0. 6-0 j 6 8 22, Legans 4 12 3-3 13, West 4-11 0 2 10, 6. Back (RU) d. Jung (SHSU) 6-0, 6-0 Bouldin 0-1 0-0 0, Marlow 1-2 0-0 2. Adams 0-1 0- Doubles • 00 1. Archer/DiSesa (RU) d. Fiores/Hassib (SHSU) 8-1 Totals: 23 53 10-16 63 2. Chong/Chao (RU) d. McDougall/Rudich (SHSU) 8 1 Three-point goals — Rice 5-20 (Harrison 0-1. Harris 3. Fisher/Goodrich (RU) d. Jung/Yurkiw (SHSU) 8-0 0-1, Gillespie 1-7, Smith 1-2. McKrieth 2-3, Will- iams 1-2, Almond 0-1, Moore 0-3), SJSU 7-21 (Woods 1-3, Pettis 2-2, Legans 2-8, West 2-8) TRACK AND FIELD

Rebounds — Rice 31 (Harris 8, McKrieth 8), SJSU LEONARD HILTON MEMORIAL 34 (Woods 13) January 23, 2004 — Bill Yeoman Field House Assists — Rice 14 (Smith 4, Williams 4), SJSU 14 (Legans 7) Men's team standings Check out the I. Houston 88 Attendance — 14,226 T2. Rice 61 T2. TCU 61 WOMEN'S BASKETBALL 4. Texas A&M 58.5 5. Texas 54.5 defending national NEVADA 49 RICE 78 6. Stephen F. Austin 43 January 24, 2004 — Autry Court 7. Texas Southern 41 8. UT-Arlington 25.5 Nevada 22 27 49 9. Texas A&M-Corpus Christi 11 champions in next Rice 48 30 78 10. HSI 10 II. Prarie View A&M 5.5 Nevada (2-16, 1-7) Bankston 4-9 2 4 10, Preslar 1-5 12 3, Graham 4 Women's team standings 8 4-4 14, Mancebo 2-3 2-2 6, Young 1« 1-2 4, 1. Texas 128 week's baseball Quick-Rath 4-10 2-2 12, Dahl 00 0-0 0, Saltmarsh 2. TCU 82 0-4 00 0, Henry 0-3 0-0 0 3. Rice 68 Totals: 16-48 12-16 49 4. Miami 54 5. Houston 42 Rice (9-7, 6-1) 6. Stephen F. Austin 22 Neaves 2-5 5-8 9, Woods 6 10 0-0 15, Singleton 1 preview. 2 0-0 3, Maynard 4 8 2-2 11, Cunningham 3-4 0-06, 7. Texas A&M 21 Stovall 0 0 1-2 1, Beckler 1-5 0 0 3, Frazier 0 4 2- 8. UT-Arlington 20 2 2, Jeffries 06 2-2 2, Elder 1-1 2-2 4, Inman 3 8 4 9. Texas Southern 17 4 10, Peck 5 8 2-2 12 10. Texas A&M-Corpus Christi 8 Totals: 26 61 20 24 78 This week's boxscores brought to you by: Three-point goals — Nevada 5-10 (Graham 2-2, Voung 12, Quick Rath 2 5, Saltmarsh 0-1), Rice 6 Kroger apple juice 18 (Woods 3-5, Singleton 1-1, Maynard 1-3. Beckler LarrytheLizard.com thresher-sports@ 1-5, Frazier 0-2, Jeffries 0-1, Inman 0-1) rejected practice facilities pf1 ™

18 THE RICE THRESHER SPORTS FEATURE FRIDAY, JANUARY 30,2004 Rice counts down to Super Sunday Though Rice is not hosting Super Bawl XXXVIII as it did 30 years ago, the Rice community has still been actively involved in the pre-game festivities.

,

COURTESY NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

CHRISTINE LIANG/THRESHER

Above Left: Rice Stadium, home of Super Bowl VIII, overshadows the New England Patriots as they leave the practice field after Monday s workout at Rice.

Above: CBS' The NFL Today Show host Jim Nantz introduces Rice head baseball coach Wayne Graham as one of Houston's 38 top sports legends Monday night.

Left: Wiess College junior Marcos Ramos (left), a former varsity baseball pitcher and Sid Richardson College Will Miller (right) volunteer at America Online Kids Day at the NFL Experience as part of a Sports Management project.

Below left: Sid Rich senior Robbie Beck (right), a former varsity football fullback, talks with Arizona Cardinals Quarterback Jeff Blake Wednesday at the NFL Experience.

Below: Some of the 38 Houston sports legends pose at the end of Monday's Houston Salute, include Mary Lou Retton (bottom right).

COURTESY CLARK HAPTONSTALL

ft

COURTESY CLARK HAPTONSTALL CHRISTINE LIANG/THRESHER THE RICE THRESHER CALENDAR FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004 19

are wearing sandals right now, information contact Career Boooorlng! aren't you? Exactly. Happy Services at (713) 348-4055. Today is the last day to Groundhog Day. Here's to complete late registration or spring. add courses. Today is the last calenmM THURSDAY day to drop courses without a Salsa! fee. Rice Salseros will start offering Salsa classes tonight. Classes £ Pump the jam, pump It up, WIIZONE time! FRIDAY will be Mondays 7 to 8 p.m. in while your feet are stomping HOW TO SUBMIT The Rice men's basketball team the Farnsworth Pavilion of the Come cheer on the Lady Owls will triumph over San Jose State Ley Student Center. The cost 30 as they take on the University CALENDAR ITEMS I don't know, Jim. There's today at 1:05 p.m. at Autry for Rice students, faculty and of Texas-El Paso tonight at obviously something wrong with Court. Bring your bright white staff is only $2 for singles and 7 p.m at Autry Court. The him. He's taken off his shoes WilZONE T-shirt, your spirit $3 for couples. Refreshments Deadline is Monday at 5 p.m. ladies have won their last three and one of his socks and ... fingers and your best taunts. will be served. More prior to Friday publication. home games in a row so lets actually, I think he's crying. Can you top "You SMUs, you information is available at get it going and show some Submission methods: lose!"? www. rice, edu/salseros. The Rice men's tennis team will love! Fax: (713) 348-5238 face Arizona today at 11 a.m. at E-mail: [email protected] Kick-ass concert Bentwater Country Club. Campus Mall: Calendar Come cheer on the Owls as Baker College senior Ryann TUESDAY FRIDAY Editor, Thresher, MS-524 they send their opponents Ferguson presents a singing Calendar submission forms are packing. performance tonight in Baker 3 available on the Thresher office Commons at 5 p.m. All are "I lost you two months ago. We For those of you who would6 door. welcome and admission is free. broke up. Are you mental?" actually appreciate the Beer Bike theme "Beeristic: drunk Come by and check out an The Philosophy Department Submissions are printed on a SATURDAY versus sober." awesome voice. For more presents "The Mind-Body space available basis. 31 information contact Ryann Problem from a Registration for OwlCon XIII What's the difference between Ferguson ([email protected]). Neuropsychological Point of begins at 6 p.m. tonight and Bill Gates and a vibrator? A View" this afternoon at 4 p.m. gaming starts at 8 p.m. in the vibrator is an artificial d*ck. in Room 117 of the Humanities Student Center. A standard weekend pass is $16 for Rice iTMCO The Rice Linux User Group will SUNDAY building. Ned Block, a students and $20 for non-Rice host the Linux Installfest today Professor of Philosophy from gamers. If you bring a valid from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Bring New York University, will 4 Wee ID, you receive a your computer, monitor and Changes for the Holy Day. present the exciting lecture. 50 percent discount on the peripherals to Duncan Hall Super Bowl Sunday, that is. 1 ticket cost! Once you have your 3092. RLUG members will be What seniors wish they'd hope you stocked up on canned admission badge, you can enjoy around to do new Linux known as freshman. (Besides food and bottled water. Today hours of a wide variety of installations, upgrade existing keg stand etiquette.) the only way to enter campus games. For more information, systems and answer questions. will be through Entrance 8, by Lesson one: Don't become an check out www.owlcon.com. There is no charge, but the Rice University Police academ unless you want to be donations will be accepted. For station. Visitors may be subject homeless or an Elec's pool boy i !> , Price Includes more information, visit http:// to spot checks. or girl. Come to Kelley Lounge Why was Lord of the Rings Round Trip on the "Party Bus linux. rice, edu/installfest. in the Student Center at 7 p.m. made into a movie? The fans 5 Nights Hotel tonight and Thursday night for were Baggins for it. 50 Hours of FREE Drinks! MONDAY ALL Taxes and Fees "Celebrity" Flag Football your chance to hear what Tonight John Garth will present No Hidden Charges!/Don't get fooled by S99 offersf Hiere will be a celebrity flag seniors wish they had known a lecture titled "Tolkien and the football game at 11 a.m. in Rice You know, like the movie ... during their time at Rice. Great War." The fun begins at Stadium this morning. Free Career Services, International 7 p.m. in Room 100 of Keck South Padre PP| Yeah, so it is Groundhog Day. Cancun tickets were available for Rice Programs, Academic Advising Hall. Come listen to an As this is a much unappreciated LakeHavasu students at Autry. "Celebrities" and Scholarships and insightful look into how World Acapulco holiday, 1 feel that everyone that will be present include Fellowships will also be War I was reflected in the Jamaica should make a special effort to Bahamas Doug Flutie, Andre Ware and present. There will be a free ice Middle Earth of Tolkien's take a moment to think of all others. Tickets for those cream sundae bar provided by imagination. For more For More Information Call Chuck has done for us over the without a free ticket are $20. Oscar's Creamery and great information, contact Honey f-888-777-4642Or Vist decades. 1 mean, honestly, you door prizes. For more Meconi at [email protected]. WWW.STUDENTCmr.COM f 1 '' '* ' ~ * ' .. cf ,;.Vw; J;,- . » 2* * . • Y<'.'<{> *£ •• \

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Please. thresher-ads@rice. edu 20 THE RICE THRESHER BACKPAGE FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 2004 Student-led Siberian beer rescue a success Misclass By Terry the Terror "What's wrong with mathema- "I don't know what I did in my Al'OI'I'KD FROM CNN FOR THE THRESHER ticians? We don't understand sleep, but my lips are swollen." — Hanszen sophomore Rice students sent to assist the the real world. We like math." Russian army in a beer rescue mis- — Math professor Richard sion returned to campus yesterday Stong "Faster cars go slower. No after a week in Siberia. wait, heavier cars weigh more. The ordeal began Jan. 21, when a "What all do you do at Oh crap, this is going to end truck traveling across the Siberian OWLCON?" up in the Thresher tundra decided to take a shortcut "Not get laid, that's for sure." — Computer Science professor over an icy lake. The truck stalled r-Anonymous Backpage editor Dan Wallach while on the ice and shortly after- im response to Jones freshman wards broke through and sank into "FOX has wait-listed so many the water below. people for hell it's not even The truck was obviously not car- "111 give him a good oral." rying lite beer. —Jones sophomore funny." Going down with the truck were —Jones sophomore the driver, Boris, and the cargo, "You should see what I can do 10 tons of calorie-laden beer. Fortu- "TEDDY" KGB/MAFIA with a little bit of baby oil and "I'll give you a quarter if you nately, the passenger, Natasha, es- Rice President Malcolm Gillis shakes hands with Russian President Vladimir nudity." can open that carton of milk caped from the sinking truck and Putin during last year's Russo-Ricean summit on fuzzy hats with ear flaps. — Female Baker sophomore with just your mouth." was able to seek help. When asked "Oh, it's on." These problems led Russian offi- neers had already recovered nine of to comment on the accident, she "I don't care if it's a monkey; — Two Baker males (Note: this could only ramble on about "that cials to contact Rice University last the 10 tons of beer and tapped and task was later accomplished by floated three kegs. "We are eter- all that matters is being in cursed moose and squirrel." Friday. They sought the help of five a Jones freshman) Rice engineers to aid in the recovery nally grateful for Rice's assistance. love." of the sunken "treasure." We would be much more sober with- — Female Brown freshman "When Mother Russia couldn't out it," Putin said. "I don't know if "Do you know what would be fix the problem by herself, I knew they drink much at Rice, but I hope "I haven't seen anirne porn, a great job? Being a drug "The army has not seen there was only one man I could turn they will accept our gift of five kegs which is odd because I love dealer." to: my old comrade. Rice President and a case of vodka." anime.f — Aspiring young entrepreneur this many casualties Malcolm Gillis," Putin said. Rice of- The gift mysteriously disap- — Baker sophomore since World War II." ficials agreed to assist the Russians peared upon arrival at Rice. The "If you throw your woman in later that day when Gillis decreed, Thresher is investigating. the water and she floats, that's Vladimir Putin "Leave no beer behind!" a no." Russian President "We are sending the best Rice —Jones sophomore has to offer," President Gillis said in Campus security made more paranoid a press conference. "The members of this elite group are: Harry "I'm looking for a Gaussian Yesterday, police chief Bill Tay- sary to install laser motion detec- beam emitter." The Russian government, calling Harrison, Gung Ho, Jebediah lor announced some new security tors around both the Inner and this the biggest national emergency Jibason, Scottish exchange student measures being taken to keep Rice Outer Loops. "Anyone caught out- — ELEC professor Dan since the Cold War, responded by William Wallace, and Billy Billups. students safe during Super Bowl side between midnight and 8 a.m. Mitt I em an in Radio Shack sending in the army to rescue the We also felt that Political Science weekend. "We're beefing up secu- will be tased and\ brought in for (thanks [email protected]) rity around campus," Taylor said. questioning." Taylor said. alcohol. Due to typical Russian Professor Richard Stoll should su- "We've decided to release a couple When asked about the new se- Wow, that was a lot of bureaucracy and organizational skill, pervise the mission, given his famil- hundred heads of cattle in the In- curity measures, Patriots quarter- there were many problems with the iarity with beer." ner Loop and West Lot to deter back Tom Brady said, "Well, they misclass. And we couldn't even mission. "The army has not seen "If a couple of Rice engineers can people from entering Entrance 8, obviously need to do something. fit in all the quotes we got this this many casualties since World turn a statue around, there's no rea- the only entrance open this week- How'd you jackasses get in here, week. Keep it up, misclassers, end." Additionally, RUPD will now War II," Russian President Vladimir son why we can't recover 10 tons of anyway? Security!" Our reporters because, let's face it, misclass is be, according to Taylor, "sporting were then hustled into an unmarked Putin said. "We had scuba divers beer," Jibason said. "Come on, we're some pimp SWAT uniforms" and black van by masked FBI agents, way better than the crap we who'd gone down sober coming up college kids. Where there's a beer "armed with tasers." Furthermore, and have not been seen or heard write. Send it to us via e-mail with a blood alcohol content of .27, if there's a way." the U.S. government felt it neces- from since. at [email protected]. they came up at all." Within 48 hours, the Rice engi- 1 The "Really really ridiculously Good-looking" Classifieds

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Multiple positions emy 10555 Northwest Freeway Ste. babysitting. Must be a responsible driver borhood, 6 miles to Rice campus. available. Please contact Eric Striesfeld erator Many decorator extras, rich #230. Call now!!! (713) 688-9991. with own car. (713) 665-0693 or $l,700/month. (713)723-8618 (Doug). at (713) 551-7209x3277. landscape and quiet place. One week www. houstonbartending. com. free. Walk-in closets. (713) 527-8885. jkatkin@houston. rr. com. MUSEUM DISTRICT. Biking distance BARTENDER TRAINEES NEEDED. GARAGE APT. one block from cam- to Rice. Thoughtfully renovated one $250 a day potential. Local positions. $3,500 PAID: EGG DONORS. SAT > ONE-BEDROOM with private bathroom, 1100/ACT> 24/GPA> 3.0/ages 19-29. washer/diyer, ceiling fan and central air. pus. Hardwood floors, vaulted ceiling, and two apts. with hardwood floors (800) 293-3985 ext. 155. ceiling fan, carpeted sleeping lofts, lots and central air. A one-bedroom apt. at Nonsmokers. 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Court, no dogs. ence and your current class sched- 1-35 words: $15 4321 Greeley. $1,350 per month. Call ule to [email protected]. 36-70 words: $30 (713) 5280303, evenings (713) 668-9005. 71-105 words: $45 RESEARCH PARTICIPANTS needed. The Jones School of Management is Payment, by cash, check or HELP WANTED seeking volunteers who are fluent in credit card, must accompany WE ARE HIRING experienced swim English with normal or corrected to your ad. instructors. WSI certification is not a normal vision to participate in studies requirement, but is encouraged. Flex- related to development of a computer Deadline is Monday at 5 p.m. ibility is the key to our summer pro- task for measuring social and market- priorto Friday publication. gram. Please contact Jennifer Bunch ing phenomena. The study takes at (713) 551-7209 x3289. about 45 minutes and pays $8. For The Rice Thresher more information, please e-mail Attn: Classifieds implicit@rice. edu. WE ARE LOOKING FOR seasonal life- 6100 Main St., MS-524 guards. We offer American Red Cross Houston, TX 77005-1892 lifeguard certification courses. Experi- MISCELLANEOUS ence isa plus, flexibility is a must. Contact Phone:(713)348-39 74 the Aquatics office at (713) 551-7209x3290 SPRING BREAK 2004!Travel with STS, Fax: (713) 348-5238 for further details. America's #1 student tour operator to The Thresher reserves the Cancun, Acapulcoand Florida. Biggest right to refuse any ad- Cold Beer, Hot Wings TUTORS WANTED: Winn Tutoring is parties, best clubs! Book your trip now! vertising for any reason and hiring tutors for all subjects K-l 2. P'arn. Call for group discounts. Information/ does not take responsibility for $17-19 per hour. Transportation re- Reservations at (800) 648-4849 or the factual content of any ad. Sunday February 1,2004 quired. Write [email protected]. www. ststra vel. com.