44 FGM Wednesday March 16 2011 | the times Times2 fashion Times2 arts

The Squoom Perfector anti-ageing device costs £549; gadget fans Cameron South Park Diaz, Demi Moore and Courtney Cox; ‘‘ gadgetsfor couldn’t and the Clarisonic cleanser,£155 have your face survived withouta moral framework

lifelongmusicals fan Parker,a“musical in the mosttraditional sense of the word. There are no special effects, we don’tmakeany grand claims to reinventingthe Broadway show and,” he adds earnestly,“it’s certainly not about hatingMormons.” ather likethe sandwich If the early audiences’ reaction is toaster, home beauty echoedbythe critics, The Bookof devices have oftenbeen Mormon —which Parker,41, and seen as gimmicky Stone, 39,wrote with RobertLopez, the innovations: funtouse co-writer/composer of Avenue Q — at firstbut all too maysoon supplant the crisis-beset quickly relegated to the Spider-Man: Turn offthe Dark as the R back of the cupboard. mosttalked-about show on Broadway, The pastyear,however,has seen a forthe best possible reasons. Stone boom in at-home beautytechnology solutions. While these so-called that it could also be usedinthe shower. Patrick Bowler doesn’tbelievethat the reveals that they hope to bringitto ledbyelectronic gadgets such as the “recessionista”gadgets vary in price — Afteraweek Ihad to admit that my success of the products will inhibit the London and to begin atouring TuaTre’nd (favouredbyKateMoss), from £150 to £300 —they help families skin certainly lookedbrighter,felt need to visit aspa. “The success of production in America. Slendertone’sFemale Face, and the whose budgets are being squeezed. The cleaner and wasverysofttothe touch. home technologyonly increasesour The show has so far met with nightly Clarisonic cleanser.This lastisthe backlashagainstBotox and invasive Face creams and masks seemedto awareness and desire forbetterskin. A standingovations and surprised facial equivalent of the electric surgerytocombat anti-ageinghave absorb betterand my new radiance was lot of salon therapists might audiences, includingfar-from offended toothbrush, endorsedbyarashof also contributed to their popularity. Dothese oftencommented on. incorporatethese gadgets intotheir Mormons. It is mocking, outrageous celebritiesand the fastest-growing Celebritieswho have optedfor the But will the success of at-home treatments and aconsumer is more and satirical, but also humane, convenience of the home “liftand tuck” ‘‘ beautygadgetryspell the end of the likely to trustintheir endorsement. thoroughly researchedand moral, brand on QVCAmerica, sellingmore electronic than twomillion models. or “deep cleanse” includeDemi Moore, salon facial? Mark Philips, aspokesman You’re takingskincare to another level focusingonhow the faith and practice This leap in technologyhas allowed Cameron Diaz and Courtney Cox. Key devices at Habia, the government-approved and growing the industryasawhole.” of devout believers in aThird World women to enjoythe benefits of to the success of these gadgets is that body that sets standards forthe hair The market looks set to grow with the countrycan buckle in the face of professional beautymachinesathome they work with auser’s skincare mark the and beautyindustry, says: “In termsof launch this month at Harrods of the extreme miseryand hardship.Its forlittle more than the costofthe regimen. It means customers don’t customers through the door,beauty eagerly anticipated Squoom, an message is: don’tbeprideful, don’tbe monthly salon facial. Salesfor this need to ditch afavouritefacecream, endof salons have seen adecrease over the anti-ageingmulti-tasker that cleanses, Andrew Rannells, also vain, be agood friend and youmight market at Selfridgesrose 27 per cent workinginstead to enhance the results. pasttwo years. While people are still massages, lifts and brightens — left,and Josh Gadmeet emerge an unexpectedhero. from 2009 to 2010 and double-digit In the case of the Clarisonic,ithas salon goingfor beautytreatments, the although it is expensive at £549. While the natives of darkest Parker acknowledgesthat those who growth wasreportedatHarrods. Jane been clinically proved to removesix frequencyhas declined. People who our Times2 guinea pigwas impressed Uganda in The Book perceive SouthPark as ahappily timesmore make-up than manual mayhavevisited monthly are now by skin that lookedbrighter,even TheSouth Park of Mormon gratuitous rude joke-festmay approach Henderson, the president of Mintel’s facials? beautydivision, valuedthe UK market cleaningand subsequently applied goingeveryeight weeks: people who feelingconfident enough to go the musical expectingthe same, “but at £110 million in 2009 and estimates skincare was60per cent more went eight timesayear are goingfiveor “foundation-free” afterjust three we see both as having amoral that it will be wortharound £125million effective. six times. With increasedpricesand weeks, shecouldn’t reconcile herself to framework. SouthPark couldn’t have by 2012. Unsurprisingly,the recession Iwas sceptical at first. Would Ifind payfreezesin2011, it’s likely that many the 12-minutedaily faff. survivedwithout that. With this has played its part. David Walker the time to incorporateitintomy customers will struggle to justifyavisit Sometimes, there’sjust no getting musical, we didn’t want to produce a Smith, beautydirectoratSelfridges, has increasingly low-maintenance skin to the beautysalon.” awayfromthe pamperinghands of an crew find God theatre show that madecheap jokes noticedthat men and women have routine. It was, however,surprisingly Others aren’t so sure. Likemany experiencedfacialist. againstMormons. We wanted people to increasingly sought more cost-effective easy to work out and adefiniteplus was industryinsiders, the cosmetic doctor Carolyn Asome leave feelingwarmand happy.” Trey Parker andMattStone have “Listen, agood fartjokewill makeme laugh till I’m 80,” Stone says. “We’re not OPINail Lacquer in China Glaze Nail Chanel LeVernis in Essie in Coat Azure Precision Nail Lacquer Estée Lauder Pure stormed Broadwaywithamusical elitistabout our jokes. But youneedto Thejury Don't Mess With OPI Lacquer in Life Black Pearl £9.95, nailsbymail.co.uk in Enlightenment Color in Violet Diva aboutMormons. It’s more than just saymore than ‘f***’ and ‘shit’tokeep an £10.50,lenawhite.co.uk Preserver £17,chanel.co.uk They say Very clean and £5.99,07971032570 £14, 0870034 2566 audience interested fortwo hours.” Springnail They say Vividand £6.49,sallyexpress.com They say State-of-the- bright pastelcolour sets a They say Creamy, They say Rich and glossy cheapgibes, they assure Tim Teeman The twolead characters in The Book shine-intense shades. They say Long-wearing, artformula strengthens new tone forthe season: easy-to-wear pastel with an intense, of Mormon,justlike SouthPark’s Kyle, colours We say The polishwent chip-resistant formula and moisturisesnails as optimistic and fun. shades that will put you mirror-likehighshine — Stan, Cartman and Kenny, maylearna on smoothly and gave a will leave your nails it delivers long-lasting, We say In theory, blue intoaZenstate. and it’s fast-drying. he BookofMormon,ifit Musical”) is agaudy cavalcadeof lesson but it’s aperverse odyssey.As deep mattcolour after perfectly polishedand high-shine, should be the perfect We say This sunny We say The deep lilac achieves nothingelse, songand dance with as much with many Mormon missionaries, the the second coat. It was with an on-trend look chip-resistant colour. colour forme; Iwear it all yellow was“60-a-day hue wasfresh and fun, canclaim to have profanityand outrage as you teenagers from Salt Lake Citygoon chip-free aftertwo days, forless. We say The colour lived the time. But as Ihave smoker” afterone coat, but the consistencywas reducedAmerica’s would expectfromthe duo, their firstmission at 18 as apair:an at which point Iremoved We say The firstcoat was up to its name of pearly pale hands, blue polish but became edgy, gloopyand ended up sharpest political satirist includingasongcalled F*** all-American boywho dreamt his trip it —green is justabit too abit streaky but aftertwo black —itstayedbuffed justmakes me look spring-time fashionista beingstreaky on to an embarrassing, YouGod —with arefrain would be to Orlando, Florida, not “Grotbags”for my taste, the unusual rust colour and shinyfor awhole hypothermic.It’sanice, aftertwo —almost. With application. Afterafew T babblingmess. Jon “Don’t f*** that baby, Africa, and aschlubbyguy who but I’d certainly buy this lookedgreat. Makesa weekend and was thick consistencyand my pale, pinky skin, it days of compliments on Stewartcould barely f*** that frog”—sung idoliseshim; there is more than a polishagain in adifferent great subtle orange definitely more muted lastedfor three days, but clashedand my “novel”choice of musteracoherent question to the by agroup of Ugandans hint of homoeroticism thrumming colour. 6/10 alternative elegance than goth. If Istill believethat you lookedabit colour,the paint started Broadway musical’s creators, Matt who have misunderstood throughout. The teenagers begin full to coral and you’re goingtogofor an can’tbeat likeTippex, to chip around both the Stone and Trey Parker,the duo behind the teachings of apair of of hope, but once in Uganda are was unusual plain oldred. but adefinite base and the animated TV comedy SouthPark hopelessly shocked by acountrybrutalisedby chip-free nail colour, 5/10 tick forthose topofmy and that gleefully rude deconstruction out-of-their-depth war, Aids and corruption. One of foraweek. this one with olive, nail. 5/10 of global politics, Team America: World Mormon missionaries the mostrousingscenesevokesan 9/10 won’tscare brown or Police,when they appearedon sent to convert them to all-singing, all-dancing Mormon the horses. black skin. Stewart’s Daily Show lastThursday. Mormonism. The Hell, featuringfiguresfromhistory 8/10 5/10 Stewart, betterknown forhis barbs at musical’s title is the title of the sacred such as Hitler and the mass murderer the political establishment,gushedfan text of the Church of Jesus Christof Jeffrey Dahmer.JustasinSouthPark worship.“Ican’t tell youhow impressed Latter-day Saints. (where he is voicedbyStone), Jesus Iwas,”hesaid. “You have somehow Stone and Parker have described makes an appearance, as do the managedtosatirise religion yetalso their show as “an atheist love letterto Mormon Church’s founder Joseph celebrateit.” religion”but,fiveyears in the making Smith, his successor Brigham Young The show (tagline: “God’sFavourite with 18 original songs, it is also,saysthe and the angel Moroni. W 46 FGM Wednesday March 16 2011 | the times Times2 arts

PREVIOUS PAGE: JOAN MARCUS, BELOW: MICHAEL YARISH X “I wasexpectingtobeoffended,” Anne Christensen, aNew York member of the Latter Day Saints, toldaUtah newspaper,“but waspleasantly surprisedbyhow incredibly sweet it Aserious was.”Her mother Janet added: “They ‘‘ treated us with affection. And they did drama their homework.”Parker,who is from wouldend Colorado, says: “I grew up around books Mormons and Ihavenever met a Mormon Idon’t like. It’s no sillier than up being anyother religion, it’s justnewer and diary more American, which means it’s easier terrible. to research. Iwanted to be accurate about the settingand we’re into We live to storytellingand fablesand the Mormon Non-fiction:the storyisrich in both.” offend Stone says that everytime he and firstvictim of war Parker —who met at college in everyone’sstupid, hooray.’” When Toby Colorado—makefun of anygroup in Stone (“I’m arock’n’rollguy”) was Harnden’s SouthPark,“that group lovesit”.Theirs converted to musicals by Parker,who (right)book is an equal-opportunities has been afan since he waslittle, when Dead Men offence-giving credo. “Weliketokeep his parents took him to watch“every Risen: The our own prejudicesand political beliefs single classic”ofthe genre at their Welsh unfixed and elusive,” Stone says. “The communitytheatre. At schoolhe Guards and people mostupset after Team America played DannyinGrease. The new the Real Story were liberals who thought we had musical wasinevitable giventhat he’s of Britain’s War betrayedthem by not makingatotally been “tryingtoforce musicals into in Afghanistan anti-Bushfilm. But once youstart everythingwedo”,fromthe low-budget appearsthis week,weshould expect it thinkingyou’re the rational one, the movie Cannibal! The Musical (1993) to to be leather-bound and hand-stitched, one’swho’s right,and everyone around Orgazmo (1997), about aMormon- with colour illustrations throughout. youisirrational or wrong, that makes turned-porn-star.Fourteen seasons of Only suchcraftsmanship could justify youthe stupid one. We say, ‘The truth is SouthPark all feature musical numbers. the Ministry of Defence’s expenditure Aftertheir SouthPark film Bigger, of £150,000 on pulping the firstedition Matt Stone and Trey Longer &Uncut wasreleased, forwhich of 24,000 copies, whichwas alleged to Parker,creatorsof Parker sharedanAcademy Award have contained sensitivematerial. That South Park’s junior nomination with Marc Shaiman forthe worksout at £6.25 acopy. miscreants, including song Blame Canada,Stephen Sondheim Kyle Broflovski, below sent Parker afan letter, which —he said later —“wasworth 20 Academy Bestseller guide to Awards to me”. For The BookofMormon,Parker beating recession reveals he, Stone and Lopez wrotethe Spring is in the air,and publishers songs first, “and that dictated the shape aregetting out their cheque of the show.I’m ahuge loverofRodgers books, as if therewerenorecession and and Hammerstein musicals and I booksellerswerethriving. Rivalling wanted to keep that structure and feel.” Fourth Estate, whichhas paid ahigh six Stone says the reception afforded to figures to Jeffrey Eugenides, is Simon Spider-Man didn’t put them off. “We’re &Schuster,whichisadvancing some more nervous to see if our own show £500,000 to the first-time author works. Acouple of weeks agoIwasa Karen Thompson Walker foranovel wreck reachingfor the Scotch, now I’m called The AgeofMiracles,set in a reachingfor the Scotch hopeful we got world that has started to turnmore it right. What’s surprisingiswatching slowly.Hodder &Stoughton has paid a audiencestitteratpoints where Ireally “significant”six-figuresum to secure laugh, and them really laughingatparts twonovels by the Irish author Ciara Ionly titteredat.” Geraghty, and Chatto &Windus is very Nowtheir musical is up and running, excited about newcomer Grace Stone and Parker,who have a$75 McCleen, whose novel The Land of million contract with the cable channel Decoration is about ayoung girl Comedy Central, mustdeliverseven growing up in afundamentalist new episodes of SouthPark. The show household in the NorthofEngland began in 1997and will run“afew more (and yes, has been likened to Oranges years”, Stone says. “Ithas alifespan, Are Notthe Only Fruit). likeeverythingonTV. We likedoingit but not forever.” Another film is slowly germinating, Bible part III, “though firstwe’re goingtotakearest,” Parker says. Stone is marriedwith a theuntold story one-year-old son, while Parker is in a After a relationship with awoman who has a semi- 10-year-old son. But don’t fabricated imagine pipesand slippers. memoir,a When Isuggest they makea public serious drama, Stone laughs. scolding “That would end up being from Oprah terrible and unintentionally and starting a funny.”Parker adds: “We “fiction live to offend. We’re just factory”,James profane people. We’re Frey (above)enjoyscontroversy. Next tryingtocome up with month the American author plans to new swear words all the pull the pin on another grenade by self- time.” publishing his latest book, The Final “Eversince we met,it’sbeen Testament of the Holy Bible,onGood about tryingtomakethe other Friday. It’s atheoretical third volume of one laugh,”Stonesays. “If we the Bible in whichthe Messiah is a manage to do that,weconsider pot-smoking alcoholic from the Bronx it ajob well done.” whosnogs men and impregnates a The BookofMormon is at prostitute. Boom. Can he prompt the Eugene O’Neill Theatre, morethan the usual indifference West 49th Street,New York from liberals and outrage from the (bookofmormonbroadway.com) religious right?