1 March 2002 The Student Newspaper for Imperial College Issue 1230

http://www.union.ic.ac.uk/felix/

Tjinder Sings. And this one isn't naked. Cornershop Rock! "WW- dxr (Page 8) Hahaha. (Page 18) J Last Chance to Vote Today

The election race to decide next year's gency convention of the Union Executive, sabbatical team has been heating up all which took place near the bar. Regardless week and culminates today in Imperial of whether or not this meeting was valid, students' last chance to cast their vote. the Election Committee decided to over- The most prominent election events took rule Mr Francis' questioning strategy, place on Tuesday and Wednesday, when thus allowing questions from the floor. the candidates were quizzed by students After all this fun, the candidates for at hustings in both Wye and South President were put through their paces. Kensington. The traditional pints were downed At the Wye campus there was a good (though Mr Francis declined strong audi- turn-out, and the candidates for President ence requests to do so too) and issues and Felix Editor were particularly careful- from the NUS to the LEQ system and ly grilled. Wye's integration (or not) moti- funding were raised. vated most of the questions along with Questioning for the Clubs & Societies funding issues and, perhaps unpre- Deputy President and that of Education & dictably, fox hunting. David Francis: Returning Officer Welfare proved reasonably uneventful The second ordeal for candidates came and were followed by the hustings for on Wednesday in the Union building, but At this point, Tasha Newton, former Felix Editor, which were as colourful as was overshadowed by controversy about Union President and maybe not as much expected. these elections' returning officer, David of a College celebrity as Andy Heeps, The results from the elections will be Francis. unexpectedly took the stage to request announced in Felix early next week. The first candidates to take the stage that questions be taken from the audi- Alisdaii were those for Deputy President (Finance ence. The original intent had been to sub- & Services). All the candidates performed mit candidate questions through David similarly, usually agreeing both on their Francis, some of which he declined to manifestoes and answers to questions. pose, but she was backed up by an emer-

"At the bottom, I followed the small hole, for the first time getting totally n .. ^ I!" college news

Wine Stolen From Union 4-

Thirty-two bottles of wine, in the hope of identifying Security, told Felix that stu- Issue 1230 worth over £200, were stolen those responsible. dents and staff alike should from the Union Dining Hall last The theft comes in the wake remain vigilant with respect to 1 March 2002 week in the latest of a series of of a series of similar incidents securing their personal prop- thefts and attempted thefts in on the first floor of the Union erty. He added that bags and Deputy Editor: Ali Wren the Union building. building. A student had their coats should never be left News: Alex Coby The consignment was bag stolen recently from unattended over the back of Reporter: John Stratford placed there at lunchtime in reception, and the handbag of chairs, for instance when in Books: Jon Matthews the libraries. Room doors advance of a wine tasting ses- Mandy Hurford, Union Arts: Jon Brenner should always be locked when sion by ABV - the RCSU club Manager, was taken from her Film: Darius Nikbin rooms are to be left unattend- formed by the merger of the office in a 'walk-in' theft. Sports: Vacant ed, even if it is only for two former wine-tasting, cocktail In addition, the office of Crossword: Dr. Hot Fudge minutes. Valuables should and real ale societies - but Dave Parry, Union Finance Comic: J was taken at some point dur- Manager, was involved in a never be left where they can be seen from outside, espe- ing the afternoon. ABV mem- similar incident a month ago. With Thanks To: cially in rooms in the base- bers are able to use the ses- It is thought that thieves Bobby ment or on the ground floor. sions to learn how to 'taste, entered and searched for valu- Similarly, windows should not sniff and slurp' wines under ables, but nothing was taken. Felix, Beit Quad, Prince be left open when rooms are the guidance of an expert. In view of the location of the Consort Road, London, unattended. The Union has conceded office, it is thought that the SW7 2BB joint responsibility for the perpetrators were likely to be ABV hopes to hold its intro- Tel: 020 7594 8072 wine having being left in the either students or staff, and ductory wine tasting session, Email: [email protected] unsecured room but has may have been scared off which had to be postponed Printed by: MCP Litho Limited agreed to fully reimburse ABV before they were able to take following the theft, in the near Felix is a registered for the loss. Security are cur- anything. future. newspaper: ISSN 1040 - 0711 rently checking CCTV footage Ken Weir, head of College John S Copyright © Felix 2002 RAG Week Success

More than £9000 was raised The C&G Slave Auction took for the Shooting Star place on Thursday, and IC Childrens' Hospice Appeal Radio's 'Ben and Jerry' broad- during this year's RAG week. cast the event live from the The eight-day extravaganza JCR. The Hit Squad were also culminated in last Friday's out and available for hire to 'School Uniform Day', in which attack any student or staff students took the opportunity member with 'custard pies'. to turn up in the apparel of Other events included a their alma mater in return for a night of Jazz at the Union and small charitable donation. abseiling down the Chelsea Money was also collected on The long road home: Parachutists head to ICU Design Centre. In a fundrais- the day by a pair of RAG ing event not connected with kissagrams, and several hun- shop quartet had toured the streets of the capital with a set RAG, a group of students also dred balloons were released campus to deliver serenades of challenges to complete on took part in a 'Sponsored from the Queen's Lawn in the and roses to unsuspecting Wednesday in the London Naked Kamikaze Parachute RAG Balloon Race. Collectors sweethearts. Many volunteers Raid. IC Radio acquired a life- Jump", and ran from Harrods also hassled money from busi- armed with collecting tins size cut out of a man and to the Union building sans nessmen and women in were out in force at the gates woman locked in somewhat clothing. Canary Wharf before heading of College early on Friday more than an embrace and For more details about what back to Friday night's RAG morning and the International managed to obtain the sup- went on during the biggest party at the Union. Pub Crawl raised yet more port of Radio l's Mark and week of the ICU calendar, see The week of fundraising had money for the appeal the fol- Lard. Other fundraisers took 'Helen Arney's Diary' on begun on Valentine's Day, just lowing day. part in a game of tiddlywinks pages 8-11. over a week earlier. A barber- RAG fundraisers took to the along Oxford Street. John S feature politics

NUS - Your Choice

On the 14th and 15th of March, the stu- determining key policy areas. Conference NUS Affiliation dents of Imperial College will be asked the has a number of sub committees including Every Constituent Member union of NUS question whether they want to join the Elections Committee, Steering Committee pays an annual subscription fee. This is National Union of Students. To make an and National Executive Committee. calculated by a number of means, depend- informed choice it is important to under- ing on the number of full and part time stand the NUS and how it works. National Council students who are members of the union National Council, along with Regional and the amount of money the union What is the NUS? Conferences aims to hold the NEC receives from their college. The funds NUS is a membership organisation com- accountable for their work and responsibil- raised from fees are used to fund the cam- prising a confederation of local student ities. The Council meets at least three paigns, activities and administration of the representative organisations in colleges times a year and reports to Annual National Union. The affiliation fee for and universities throughout the United Conference. Imperial College Union will be £35,000 per Kingdom and Northern Ireland which have National Council directs the work of the year, with a reduced fee for the first year. chosen to affiliate and which pay a mem- NEC within union policy; makes recom- bership fee. mendations to Conference regarding the NUS Services Limited (NUSSL) NUS represents the interests of about accounts and estimates. National Council Being a member of the NUS allows you to three million students in further and high- guides and generates ideas for the NEC on join NUSSL (although you do not have to er education throughout the United their campaigns. National Council may join it). NUSSL is a limited company oper- Kingdom. NUS aims to provide research, also pass policy, in exceptional circum- ating as a purchasing consortium that pro- representation, training and advice for stances. cures deals for commercial services individual students and students' unions. (including beer, stationery etc). Imperial Regional Conferences College Union is already a member of a dif- Annual Conference The eight English regions are known as ferent consortium and it is vital to compare The sovereign body of the National Union 'Ordinary Regions'. Each ordinary region the relative prices offered by both consor- of Students is Annual Conference which holds a Regional Conference to which each tiums to assess the value in joining NUSSL. takes place each spring. Every students' college is entitled to send the same num- union is represented at the Conference. ber of delegates as they did to the previous Find out more Annual Conference determines the policy Annual Conference. Regional Conferences For more about the advantages and disad- of the National Union and sets the cam- take place twice annually, once in each of vantages of joining the NUS, go to paigning agenda for the next year by the first two academic terms. www.union.ic.ac.uk/nus.

The ICU Islamic Society Presents IT'S IN YOUR HANDS

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4th,5th,6th,7th & "SUSTAINABLE FUTURES' 8th March 2002 ICU ENVIRONMENTAL SOCIETY 2ND ALTERNATIVE CAREERS FAIR DATE: 6 MARCH Keep your Eyes VENUE: CIVIL ENG (LVL 2) 201 & 207 Open TIME: 1230-1700 Htt|K//union.ic.ac.uk/esoc/acf2002.html " imperial e-mail: thomas.tibbits'aiic.ac.uk unmn caving feature

The Caves Of Morocco

In the early eighties a French team explored from the airport and headed for the stun- tent was put up. The chef and muleteers a high plateau near Jbel Ghat, (Jbel *» ning Bougoumez valley. made us dinner while we relaxed, studied Mountain, Ghat. The 'Gh' is pronounced as The most amazing thing about the maps and explored a little. It was per- a throaty R sound). The plateau is sur- Bougoumez valley is the colour - it's green. fect, until the next morning at least. rounded by a horseshoe shaped ridge, the For the entire drive from Marrakech, The first thing I did that day was the only peak of which is just below 4000m. The through the plains west of the mountains, thing I was capable of: I was sick. I got up, report documented many caves, mostly ver- to the foothills of the Atlas, an arid, dusty, tried to take some paracetamol and a bit of tical shafts, in several different areas of the rocky brown terrain was normal. As we water - but my stomach was having none of plateau. The French expedition had only rounded the final corner into the valley, we it. At 9:30am, the sun was rising fast and I covered a tiny proportion of area of the could not help but be amazed by the fertile found somewhere to rest in the shade while plateau and we were intrigued enough to green fields laid out before us. This is quite everyone packed the kit onto the mules. want to take a look for ourselves. an achievement since it's such an enor- When we set off I was less than enthusias- tic, after an hour I was able to go no further. I found a rock and hid from the blazing sun. Jan kindly offered to stop with me for 24 hours so I could recover. Everyone one else continued up the mountain. The mules were to descend the next day to return to Bougoumez, and Colm would come with them to guide us up the mountain. Jan and I were quite exhausted having had a rough night's sleep and little food. We slogged up the final steep ascent to our new home. As we rose out of the valley, we left behind all the green, and entered a des- olate moonscape. The only vegetation was 'hedgehog' bushes (small spiky shrubs). It was decided that a team of 5 (Tim mous valley, supporting a population of The camp was at the head of hanging val- Wight, Hugh Penney, Jan Everts, Colm many thousands, but with a single large ley, above the main wadi. The plateau, Carroll and Ed Austin) would spend 2Vz stream as the only water supply. where the caves were to be found was over weeks on the plateau. September is the The next morning we travelled by lan- the western ridge of the valley. The main best time to visit the Atlas since the heat of drover to Abachkou where we swapped tent was erected, and Hassan set up the the summer is over, but winter has not yet four wheels for four legs. By the time we cooking area inside. The rest of us tried hard set in. Since we would be staying in one reached Abachkou, it was 3:00pm, so we to find some vaguely flat, non-spiky ground place, no driver would be needed. So we would not be able to reach our destination to pitch tents on. The water supply was a contacted the owner of a local guide, that day. small dribble that filled a series of cascad- Mohammed Achahri and he sorted out all All the kit for six people for 2V4 weeks ing pools, about 5 minutes from the camp. the logistics. was loaded onto just four mules, a sight It quickly became apparent that we were On August 28th, we flew to Marrakech. that has to be seen to be believed. We not alone. In the evening, we saw several We had two days to doss and sort out some walked carrying only water and cameras fires. A population of shepherds was living supplies, which we decided were better to for about three hours, following a small in the valley with us. The next morning we get out there. The most significant of which track along the river and passing small vil- met one of them as he beat us to the water was carbide. For those who don't know, car- lages made up of mud huts. The only way supply. His sheep drank all the water, so we bide is a rock like substance that when we knew we were in the 20th century was had to wait hours for the pools to re-fill. mixed with water fizzes to give off acety- the occasional solar panel, or satellite dish We split the caving area into several lene gas. This is burned to provide light in peeking from a window. This really was zones. The nearest (zone A) was the area the caves. In less developed countries it is very isolated, so enchanting - we loved it. just above the ridge. Zone B was the central normally found quite easily since it is used Eventually the source of the river was region of the plateau. The farthest area from for lighting and welding, but we were not reached, a bubbling spring emerging from the camp, zone N was where the French so lucky, and had to engage in some very the stones. The dry riverbed stretched off expedition found the most caves. shady dealings before we were supplied into the distance. The muleteers had never In order to orientate ourselves, we split with what we needed. It felt like we were been here before, and did not know where into two teams. Myself, Hugh and Jan buying crack. to find water further on - so this was the decided to visit zone A, and follow the ridge The other supplies, however, were easy camping spot for the evening. Hie plateau down to the lowest part of the plateau, to get from various stalls, and on Saturday was still another 8km. (and 1200m higher). where an enormous dry riverbed, followed we met our driver, Lassan, picked up Jan That evening, the massive communal by a narrow gorge plunged down a 200m feature caving

August 2001 drop to the main valley below. Colm and Ed low him. He headed straight up the other over to zone N, to try and do what we were went to zone B, spending time walking side of the dry valley back towards zone B. supposed to do the previous day! round the plateau to get a feel from the We could not believe how quickly he could It took us about 3 hours to get back to the place. A dump of kit was assembled at the move around the landscape. He was wear- cave, it was not easy to find! Armed with top of the ridge, above the camp to save us ing a pair of very old and knackered shoes, more rope, Jan descended first, and contin- having to carry heavy caving equipment up and even with our walking boots, we were ued down the main shaft. I followed him, the steep and rocky climb every morning. still not able to keep up. After about an while Hassan stayed safely on the surface. Walking round the plateau, it also hour, walking past several surface shafts he As Jan descended, we used a tape meas- became apparent quite how many people took us to an innocuous looking pile of ure, compass and clinometer to make a lived on the plateau. A population of over 10 rocks. He disappeared under them, and we detailed survey of the cave. When Jan shepherds lived in small rock shelters. They followed him in. Inside was a small spring, reached the bottom, he had a look around, collected water from the few small springs one of the few hidden springs on the other- but it went nowhere. We had found another that could be found on the plateau. Their wise dry plateau. Just to the side of the cave with a flat floor - very tedious. shelters we made homely with a few rugs spring was a shaft which looked to be Colm and Ed had had a better day. They and cushions to sit on. They had a supply of about 5m deep. A small back hole could be had found an area with loads of stuff to look flour and oil, to make bread and tinned fish made out at the bottom to one side. He at. They had also managed to find a good for sustenance. You could not help but be watched with interest as Jan tied a rope route there; a return trip could be done in stunned by how these people lived. Our round one the boulders and I descended less than three hours (we were all pretty fit chef, Hassan told us that they were being down. At the bottom, I followed the small by this stage, and had acclimatised to the paid to look after sheep from the valleys hole, for the first time getting totally out of heat and altitude). during the summer. daylight! I sat on a small ledge and threw a We spent a couple more days exploring So far, we had not found anything of rock down into the darkness below me. It zone N, walking and taking in the splendid major interest, so we decided to focus our rattled for about 10 seconds, and then hit isolation. On Tuesday, the muleteers arrive efforts on the farthest part of the plateau the ground. This looked very promising. We to take us home. (zone N). This area looked to have the best did not have enough rope to go any further, The descent back to Bougoumez was potential and many small caves had been so I retreated back to the surface. We easy. We rested at Abachkou, waiting for found by the French expedition in the last thanked the shepherd, and gave him some the landrover to take us the final few kilo- days of their expedition. While most of us tinned fish and bread in return for showing metres, while the mules continued their stayed at camp to allow Hassan to descend to the souk, Jan set off for an exploratory walk around this zone. His plan was to fig- ure out a good route to get there, walk through the area, and take photographs. It was a mammoth trip, and when he returned he was rewarded with chocolate cake, baked in our new camping oven. Hassan, returned from the souk with more supplies, including some meat! That evening we had a massive feast, washed down with a little whisky and vodka. The next day, a team set to take a closer look at the area, We stopped for lunch in the shade of an overhanging cliff. We had a good view of zone B, and studied the maps us the cave. He disappeared off, presum- journey home. We were greeted by to try and find out where we had been the ably to find his sheep. Mohammed in the gite that evening with previous week. As we relaxed, a shepherd Leaving the kit at the cave, we returned soft beds, good food and hot showers ready appeared. Communication was difficult but to the camp. The next day we would return to go! The fecund valley of Bougoumez with rudimentary Arabic and Berber we with more rope. We celebrated the first real seemed like paradise compared to where managed (just about). He was asking for discovery that night. We asked Hassan if he we had been. After a good feed and a few something, which we eventually discov- would like to join us the next day to see drinks we slept like babies, ready for the ered was a lighter. We gave him a spare what we had found. He was entirely baffled final journey to Marrakech the next day. one, and after that all the shepherds were as to why we wanted to visit this desolate Tim Wright asking for them! location, but agreed to come with us. If you 're interested in joining the caving club We explained to him we were looking for The next day, Hugh stayed behind to on their expedition to Slovenia this summer, caves. He seemed to indicate he knew guard the camp, and Hassan, Jan and I contact [email protected]. uk or look at our web- where there was one, so we decided to fol- returned to the cave. Colm and Ed went site: http://www.su.ic.ac.uk/caving Tuesday Wednesday Thursday 5th 7th UNION QUIZ vf* ^unjon NIGHT IS" sponsored by union STA TheyVe djsrplay playing our song 0 at the Union.

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imperial

Union Building collegel Beit Quad R.O.A.R. Open noon-11pm Saturdays and noon-10:30pm Sundays felix talk

IC Radio

ICR has shat on the grave of rock'n'roll profile. The level of promotion college of the, er, musical swimming pool, as it At last year's Student Radio conference radio can offer is inconsequential to the were. And let's face it, Radio l's crap, X is we were given a bollocking by Sony's likes of Hear'Say, so why not support OK, but not great and Capital, Virgin, Sumit Bothra. Student Radio, he said, someone equally (more?) worthy who Heart, Magic and all those other station used to lead where now it was content to actually needs it? with made up sounding names are barely follow. Too many Heads of Music were Of course, you can't be a complete indie worth mentioning. So what if student Xeroxing the Radio One playlist. How was snob. Well, you could, but you'd be a dick- radio can't compete with commercial he supposed to plug new up and coming head. Britney Spears has done some good radio? We shouldn't even try: Who wants bands when all we played was Hear'Say. tunes. S Club 7 have done some good to be like Chris Tarrant? We are in posi- Then he started singing the praises of tunes. But, like I said, they're tunes which tion of enormous privilege in that we're Toploader and robbed his argument of are forced onto the public in a constant not cow-towed to sponsors insisting on credence, somewhat... He also stole our barrage of promo and publicity and control over output, demanding certain pizza. What a bastard! which, to be blunt, appeal to the lowest concessions in playlist policy. He had a point, though. Student Radio common denominator so are bound to We get to play pretty much what we has changed; that's because students sell. Besides, right now is one of the most want. So let's pick up the ball and run have changed. But is there really any exciting periods for music in ages. There with it. If it's a good record let's play it, point in giving heavy rotation to stuff that are bands and artists of all shapes and whoever it's by. It's a big beautiful world Radio 1, Capital, Xfm and, God help us, sizes bringing a range of styles and out there, so open up the window and Radio 2 are already playing? I would sounds that's as wide as the ocean. take a great big sniff... argue not: If you're not offering anything There's something to suit everyone: Fun different, then you're probably gonna lose for all the family. It would be criminal to your listeners to the more professional ignore a vast swathe of it, just because icradio P* station with the bigger rep and the bigger we were afraid of leaving the shallow end www.icradio.com

Why I am voting 7 NATIONAL UNION OF STUDENTS

A note by David Francis, Student, deserve a grant; I can guarantee that each and every one would have an opinion. In the current set up, 11,000 students can't tell the NUS what Imperial College they want. I believe that ICU is robbing those students of a right that many I he NUS represents, and wins, for students. I here are numerous other students at other Unions have. I he government speaks to the NUS. examples of this plotted throughout history, in particular I would like to I he Research Councils speak to the NUS. I he Student loans Company highlight the beneficial relationship struck up between the NUS and Ul U speaks to the NUS. Who speaks to ICU? which has produced outstanding concessions for students such as the Student Railcard and the I ondon Transport Card. Rut representation is all I he NUS card gets you discounts and saves you money. Now, Imperial about getting information in, analysing it, and producing significant College Union can push its subvention (the money it gets from College) results because of it. At the moment, students at Imperial can not mflu through many different hoops and around various circles, but by affiliating ence the direction the NUS takes Imagine a scenario, for a second: to the NUS, students here will be able to see actual, tangible benefits I ngland is governed by Parliament, but the people of i ondon could not manifested through there being more money left in their wallets. It's as vote in the Llections for the members or indeed the leaders of that simple as that. Parliament. I low can the Parliament ever hope to listen to the concerns of

7 I ondoners when it removes even the most rudimentary rights Joining the NUS also gives the option of subscribing to NUSSI, the buy ing consortium that gets cheap beer, stationary etc. Initial figures show I he argument that Imperial's students aren't political (either with a capital that Imperial College Union could save up to L?(),()()(.) by doing so. Nice. or a small "p") holds no weight with me. If you went around Imperial's many campuses, and asked the students how much they think they should So there we go, it's simple really. Shouldn't the question really be paying in tuition fees, or whether cr not they should have a market rate be "why wouldn't we affiliate to the NUS"? Check out the web- loan as opposed to an interest rate free one, or whether they think they site for more details.

If you are interested in supporting the Imperial Students say

YES to NUS campaign visit www.nusatimperial.co.uk ma rag week review review rag week Rcu^Weeh Viary 2002 | A Thursday Monday TO X Jk (45-320) (49-316) XO RAG Week e*ve* and* Valentines*Day - will it be* my lucky day? ML ready to- go- out and raise* some* cash after the* weekend*! I ha^e/arranged/ a* date/with five very attractive Men of the* World/. Apparently Bdchof a- morning at Ldxi- stations coileclnxg from they enjoy bursting* into-lecture theatres and offices, yinging/..charmingValentine/ commutery, such mean/ people*, why won)t anyone* think* of songs- or camp sea* yhantiey and presenting* roses* to- unsuspecting' victims for the* children/? But v. cheered* up by IC Radio-following* uy charity.Mmm, coAxrug-, shccrtng- and nice/ voices- too. I wonder.. round* all* day I thinhtixereJs a beautiful friendship developing/. Jayy'£jRockputon-four fabulous-bands--the* (Alcohol unity consumed*: One- bottle of JV for the- purpose- of whetting/ their Rocklng* Chairy, What the* funk, Urban/Bongo- and whutle-s; Serenade* sung*-: 22. plus a few frevhivs: Current total£120) Meantime/. Gotv. drunhon/cocktailyandd emharrasslng* way. How can/the*week get better?

Friday (Alcohol consumed: loty,. the* bar way rammed*. Extra* pointy for developing' my good* 15(46-319 ) karma/ and* chili ng- out all- evening*) / irsl day erf RAG Week/! the- first of too ma*yxy early, starts-. B un/-freezing* gate/collectixmfr Tuesday A Q (or should-be-committed*?) Rag* crew. Why dcrl dctthiy? 'Because/ it y fun/! And* (50-315) 19 involves-free* breakfast... Three/ feisty RAG devily made/ It iA^o-the* Union* to-add some-RAG Week/ fun/ and frolics* and to- spread a- bit of love/to- everyone/ else-. Zero- A nd I thought it couldrut get any better outof five/yesterday. Maybe T m/doing* something* wrong*? Perhaps- I'LL try the* I wUL not drink again/, ever, ever, ever. At least, not cocktaidy. A nd* no- dancing* unfailing properties of alcohol tomorrow... either. At least that y what I tixoiuglxt, untd J a-ff-Big'liuyul came onstage* and d all went v. funky. Plus* ICU tlne-ma- showed* classics Blues- Brothery and the- Italian* (four pain/ aw chocohat and a- croissant - lots- of calories,-, negative pointy! Job- - if only every Tuesday Nightturned out to-be a*y good* uythiy... Two- glasses of orcuxge- juirc/ and/a^xother couple of hundred pounds revised lots of vitamins-, cx-vneedy out t^ Could probably squeeze- in/ a/ few extra- pastries- now.) Wednesday Oft (51-316) 6U | C Saturday Raided* London/ (and survived*!) X U (47-318) Something* completely differentfortoday, -the/ RAG London-Raid! Started- in/the-JrCR with International Pub CrawL, almost at- good ay a/ chauengey, buckets-, 150 ytudenty and a* wdLto- romantic weekend break/ in/ New York/ (huh, I should couect ay much cash as possdde- in the most . be/so-lucky!) bizarre, yituationy we* could find*. VJhat a* fantastic H mm/, canJt remember a/ lot about thiy afternoon/ - day! Came/ back six/ houry later having*: Picked* up a*mv. drunkandv. tired. Seemed- to- start in/ the/ a-penguin in Regents Pack loo, U nlon/ with three- friends-, an/ oversized/ spanner and applied* for a*Japanese/passport, flown/ a* bra* some/ seriouy rugby action/. Twenty worldly-themedpubs cmay flagpole/ onHighStreetKen*, kissed/ a/few traffic and80 unity later we-landed- inSouthside/. Seemed to-Kave-done- wardens*, posed in livurods' wiMdow display, raided well with raising- money though-. Impressed by everyoney stamina/, especially that UCL. metNoel-Gallagher, Murk/t; Lard, June*from Sam/£r Matt duo- - seven/houry of IC Radio-coverage/, those- boyy can/ last... T4- and* some* irtere*yting* cardboard friends*, 'swapped clothes' with policemen/, traffic wardens- (Alcohol-unity consumed-: 20. At Least, I think so-... Current total: £1500) and* milkmen/, juggled in/ Trafalgar Square, performed* with Sunday buykery in* the*, street, had*, (48-317) a* pen* stolen/ by Ken- L ivingstone*, 17 tiddlywinkid dcyw n Oxford Street, stripped to Sponsored abseil dow n* the- Chelyea- design- centre-. boxer shorts in any situation possible/, blagged*our Complete/ madness*! way into- anywhere* and* everywhere* and*hassled I cant believe- what cra^y people- will do- for charity - I anyone* and everyone/ for cash in*the* streets. Such a* mean, those/ harnesses- make/your bum/ look/ so- big*! Hut riot - v. v. good fun! with so- much money at stake/ it way definitely worth the* fashion/ dlyuytery and some/particularly nasty chafing*. (Total raised so-, far: £5,700. Houry spent counting*: 4'/-.. Calories* burnt Hundreds* and* thousands from running* round London* all (Total/ raised for St John* ambulance*: £2,809.03) day! Alcohol unity: Stopped counting* after having* too- much fun-!) rag week review

Thursday 21(52-313 ) Slave- Auction/ day - now'y my chance-! If I cant catch/them, huy them/! Sounds- like- my only opportunity llus weeks to- get hold/ of a hi of chunk of Imperial Han for myielf I w 04/there-with my cheque/hook-open/. Never mind-, at leait there/ way free/ Ben £r Jerry'y with every slave-, loty of bizarre/ flanning- activity from ll\eCcj(.j Kit Squad/, too. Sod the/diet, itylZAG Week/! Give/ me- a peanut butter and chocolate spread RAGwLch wlvile- you' re- Here:

(Calorie/ count. Tlxrough the- roof - think- of all that whipped/ creawv.. Money raise-d-: £500 at le-ast, and worth every penny)

Friday 22(53-312 ) Suddenly, I remember why I never made- it ay a- prefect... Tytremxly short skirt, peanutted/tie-, white- shirt unbuttoned- too far, booty and- bunches, waytraly ready to get Bach to School for V-AG this morning. Ketro action alt day - tripy.up. the- Queen y Tower, B\i%-Balloon/ Uace- on the- lawn/, hassltrug-bored/ lyusiA^eyymen in the- City for cash with not much more- than fishnets, cheeky grins- and/ a- tuba/ quartet from/ the- Koyal College- of Music UAG. Skived/hack- from/ Canary Wharf to nip 'ound/ the- bach of the- bike- sheds- for a-cheeky fag-, go "up town)' with the- boyy at lunchtiwie-, fake/ a- note- from/ me- mam/ to get out of cross- country practice/ and/ dance- badly at the- end- of term/ party in. between swigs- of vodka/. from/ under the- table-. God, it way just like- being- Sixteen again/... Bumped into two gorgeous girls who were ktssmg people- in exchange- for donations-. They seemed/ to be- in high demand- wherever they went, and- raised/ loty of cash along-the- way - sounds- like- a-job-1 yhauld/ have- applied- for... Big-up stylee- Back- to School/ Party inthe-Union, packed/ out like- nothing el^thiy term/with everyo in gym/ ylipy and/ bla^ery. Still can't work- out how the- school/ uniform dreyy code- seems-to end/ up with everyone-wearing- lesy clothes-than normal/,.. Hands played- in the School Halt, giant twister got us- all/ rolling- about on/the- floor and cbayyic cheese- VJy Tom, Van and- Harh Home/partied- with us- alt night. Went home- with the- head lyoy... a-v. good week- - cant wait untib next year!

(Alcohol unity: not sure-, but three- were- vodka- jelly, which surely doesnt count? Calories-: Vo Jelly Beans- have- calories-? Total for the- week-: £8,000 play whatever else- we- find- down/ the- back of the- filing- cabinet - the- number can-only go up!) review rag week

Thank You! Vovid-Treaidgo, Priyculo/Chow, JatdVaAnania-, Nick Jones-, Martin Vingler, Ruth Chappie-, Sawv" skater" Sharpe-, Chris-Liston, Richard Walker, Joel avid/ hJed-, for being/ a- righteous- and/fahulous- cxymmiltee- and/keeping- it all on* track with your cxmumitment and- support. You- made/ it fun/l So many events-, so- many people/, it wouldn't Ka-ve- been- such a success- (or such a- riotously good luugh!) without you/ - the-beautifulBarbershop Boys-, SftM Sam/, the-Wye- Princess- (now the/lcucA-ulary South Ken Princess-) Jo Picone-, HLtth Clvafphi-, Vikki.- Hind, Jtwki ft th'BI ree posse-, Helen Clubb-, Mustafa-Arif Nick the-Greek/, Sam/Vowney, Sha^ia-, Hayley and/Safffor support and-spare-buckets-, Enrico, Viane- ancl- all the- KSM vodka- jelly babes-, JenniWood- and-the- LINKS crew, Ben Hawkins-, Andrew 1 nee-, AntVearden, Maili.ii Cloke ft allofJBB, Richard Pluckett, Hike/Wheeler, the- JftR bands-and/SMcD (thanks- fortea-!)', Helen Hawkings-, cloakroom/ kittens- Jade-ft Tasha-, all the/ stewards-and- bar staff for putting- up with drunkenraggies-, Antony, Steve-, James-, you)re- naughty boyy, Katy, Atlanta-, Holly, Charlie-, Sarah ft All/, you were- amazing-, all the- bands- that played/ on friday play Tom, Dan-and- Hark, you alb rocked- the/house/! More- thuirks to all/club ft soochairs-, CCU random/ ragaiey, hall reps-, Sheffield- departments-, London Haiders- and/ everyone- who took photos-during- the- week - too many to name-, If I take- up any more/ room All will kill me-, soplease- accept my thanks- and/ know how muchwe/ve-appreciated-it. Grateful thanks- to Dave- Parry, AjfuyftZona-for 41 M sorting-the-financial P i f 'kups, toMandy and Michelle- for preventing aW the/other ~~ f**kupybefore-they happened/, Penny, Ham, Simon/, Mick, Jerry, Rob, Nicky: thank you/ all for taking- us seriously and/ giving- so much- support for what we/ were- trying- to do last week-. Extra- special thanks- to Dave- Roberts- for saving- my time/, my nerves and- my sanity, Ed ft the-Vramsoc- VarkSide-for alwayy being- one-step beyond- the- call/ of duty, Steve- ft IC Radio for bringing- funtvmey and funky music reypectively, STOIC, WiWand/Ali for giving- a flying- one-, and- ay alwayy to Iain for keeping- my feet firmly on the- ground/. Most of all- a- huge- thanks- to everyone- who turned/ up to the- evenly, donated- your hard earned- cash or just had/ a- good/time-. You)re- the- ones- who have- helped/ make- sick- kids-' lives- a- bit better by working- so hard and- having- so much fan. Respect. Check- the- website- for more-updates-, and- see-you/ alt next year! Helen talk back

C ondom-inium? each morning's surgery and all about. The Hall Guy made available to those who With the current system, if Dear Felix, do not feel confident in having you put RON as your first Dear Felix, to fill out a form and having choice you effectively lose the I would like to write to both their "statistics" placed on rest of your vote. But this does It has come to my attention Jolyon Thompson and Irene their patient record. not apply to other candidates. that Sir Richard Sykes is Weinreib with regard to their Sadly, it seems that because Perhaps someone from the intending to sell Garden Hall, reply to an Inkwell article the health centre has Union could explain the reason in Prince's Gardens (Felix, 25 printed the issue before, an favourable statistics regarding for this discrimination against January). article I wholeheartly agreed unwanted pregnancies, it RON. Garden, as is affectionately with. therefore feels that there is no called by all its residents, was Surely the single most motivation for trying to make Ed Avis only refurbished in the last important aim should be to those statistics even better. couple of years, and has a promote being responsible It's easy to accept things for We have contacted the warm and friendly atmos- and safe to those who are the way they are, but much Returning Officer for the sab- phere, with the obvious going to have sex, and to make more difficult to strive for batical elections, David advantage of proximity to uni- this as easy as possible. And improvement. Especially in the Francis, who replied that there versity. Even if you choose to the worst argument has to be face of people such as Jolyon was indeed an error in the arti- disregard such important fac- that displaying condoms who seems delightfully happy cle. RON's votes will be reallo- tors, you cannot help but won- would be offensive to those in blindly accepting the status cated just like any other candi- der whether Sir Richard really whose religious group oppos- quo, without any considered date if RON is eliminated from has his students' interests at es contraception. I'm sorry, but thought for the issues any ballot. Ed. heart, for surely it makes no if I was a member of one of involved. sense whatsoever to sell one these religious groups then I of the only remaining halls would find this argument itself Yours, LEQ-rocution which offers such cheap offensive. We undoubtedly live Anonymous. accommodation (from £35 a in a multicultural society: Dear Felix, week in double and triple Surely it is time that we are all Just for the record, we believe rooms). In doing so, Imperial is able to accept each other the Jolyon is a man, contrary to the Please could you find out from effectively being turned into way we are, and live peaceful- belief of our correspondent. Prof Rawlings: an ever more exclusive univer- ly together? She argues that This might be a good time to 1. How much did the LEQ sys- sity. Moreover, if anything, it's disappointing that we live note that letters are not gener- tem cost IC? Imperial needs more rooms not in a society that is too ally edited except for length or 2. Where did the money come less. Can it seriously afford to repressed to talk about sex, offensive content - or offensive from (internal, government, lose any? For example, most of yet seems happy that we live grammatical errors. Ed. or private sector)? the other great London univer- in a society too repressed to 3. Who built it (was it in-house sities offer accommodation for openly accept each others or contracted, and if con- third or final year students. beliefs. I'm not arguing that Elect-rocution tracted, who to)? If this plan is allowed to go we should be brazen or insen- 4. Are departments forced to ahead, then surely there will sitive, but I would ask how Page 12 of last week's Felix use the college LEQ or are be nothing to stop any further many people would admit to explains the ICU voting rules: they free to develop and use decisions to close down other be offended by a few packets 'You will then be required to their own system instead? halls. It is all good and well of condoms placed discreetly vote by the Single Transferable 5. Would he welcome an alter- that Imperial needs to raise in the corner of the health cen- Vote System... If you put a 1 native system developed by money, but at who's expense? tre? next to RON, all other numbers IC Students? I urge Felix and its readers to In reply to Irene, if the health will be ignored.'. Why is this? The rumours I have heard question the motives behind centre has to provide statistics It's reasonable you could put answer: Sir Richard's plans, and to concerning their supply of con- RON as your first choice and 1. £40 000 ponder on the implications of doms, how are they able to then go on to give a second 2. Government reducing cheap rooms near the give 2500 to the ICSU to dis- choice, if you want to say: 3. Contractors University. Is this really the tribute during freshers week? none of the above candidates 4. They have to use LEQ best way forward? Do the freshers have to fill out is really up to the job but if it 5. Unknown (likely no) a form? Since they are able to has to be one of them then but I would appreciate having Garden Hall Resident do this, can they not for exam- candidate X is the best of a the truth from the person who ple provide 20% without this bad lot. This way of giving should know best... Letters may not be edited for frankly ridiculous bureaucra- second and subsequent choic- punctuation or spelling, but cy? These could be placed in es (in case your first choice Regards, may be edited for length. the health centre at start of doesn't get in) is what STV is Philip Willoughby Mail letters to [email protected] ImfLanlai Co££ejj& ULnlojv 77lu^lca£ TkextLfXe. Society,

Tll&a 5th — Sxtt 9th TTLaftch at 730pjrt

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Shaft Ummmm 70's wibbly stuff with I don't know what I usu-

s overtones of CHEESE. I ally put in here. Maybe n love cheese. So fragrant, something happens. I and if you leave it in the don't know: Leave me sun long enough, it will alone, I'm trying to have Unio Event evolve into a rabbit. a nervous breakdown. Union, All Night My Life, Eternity

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Euery Wednesday : today There's an elec- ivitM ii <;.. -bel r>oti on < L ! y. hero seeing dead people dbs opens at 5pm Oft» -,> ibooause :it's':tfi.e -. it-. . ,t, 1 . . Bars 111 midnight Dance 111 1am i IIS of pit;... 11 ms. . ;\ . M u 1 late Night Hot Food/Chill Out in the UDH Studen democracy. So there. Production GO Activitie Cloakroom from 6pm A'.' Departments, .Ali Day fn/on Concert Hall. 7pm * imperial O Waking Life /O r.»» h«f«-« mnm * college jL^s Free before 10pm union Not to be confused with Get stoned. Watch this. s e the story of O, which is Check... bloke meditates 0R' After 10pm: ICU £1.00 / £1.50 Others naughty and mildly on the nature of reality Imperial College Union, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road pornographic, this is a in this partly animated Th

t version of Othello, which tale of a man trying to A Movie is apparently quite good. teach himself how to HE 1NI0N IflR Martin Sheen as coach! control his dreams. Cool.

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-decided that we'need"::3 on the bright side of life, Specials from many smaller breweries. Radi terredtrilCtttlatinel teat... efo. How good ) &

It's arrived! Try new r *|jp Televisio Channel 4, Sunday. 10pm Kiwi and Red Berry f&ef i Blues Brothers Band Church Of Simian f

l Special m s Many of the original No idea. Some surreal £1.85/"\ JP^ I % Mi band get together stuff that I think we & .including Steve Cropper, reviewed last week... bottle! s Lou Marim, Matt you know, the guys with Murphy and Alan Rubin the crow/cow on the

Gig with guest Eddie Floyd. front cover. Weird. Concert Shepherd's Bush Empire St. Matthew's Church

Peladophobia

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Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday

Ermmmm Trivia Wotsits Wot Are Cheesy Karaoke Kandy Similar to the weekend, I'm good at this. I know They take a form of corn Go on, you know you MMMmm. Sweet sweet but on a Monday all about completely based substitute, and want to. Not to mention Kandy. Hip Hop, Rock instead. One of my useless things. My mix it with yummy the fact that there are the Shop, Get a Mop and favourite days, because maths teacher told me it cheese flavourings. And many drunk American Grind to a Stop. Then I go mad. Come and help was pointless, but now I then get very drunk girls there who will also DANCE! That kind of at Felix if you want. win cash at pub quizzes. with sportsmen. Yum. be 'singing'. Hehe. music, and more. Felix, All Night Da Vinci's, 7pm Union, All Night Union, 8pm Union, All Night

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: :: R 1 ( .;&sd 3i%laiillSw Bet drs : C , ' 11 h' i \ .: I» ' ' 1 Hi li-i i-i - ., \' ' i I'J.I tion by the Musical can work with it All are 'witi '',!. knows? biy don't want 1 , go at tlM'UnjQ|||B'0'ak|SQ' to: welcome: learn how to i., ii\ , caayoafbtoi.i'- along. But '< -JI i be "' '.-../ have your say. 0xp (Sis: b 'o utsy It blttl anny... bib bJiJcta 'WTOitg... 1 usually an:.

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Shipping News From Hell Haan Maine Bhi Pyaar Ali Training Day Dogger, Fisher, German I'm still excited about Kiya Strangely not about the I could do with one of Bite, North Westerly this, since it's got Not sure, but it's doing Felix deputy editor, this these, since I seem to be Gale Force 3 Proceeding. Johnny Depp in it, and pretty well in the charts. is instead about some losing my touch. Maybe Sorry, that's the fore- I'm afraid he is funda- It seems like Bollywood boxer who was quite it's because I drink too cast. Kevin 'Don' Spacey mentally cool. So go and to me, and I think it's a famous once. Who much. Maybe it's just rebuilds his life, possibly see it. Even if he does love triangle story. If you knows, maybe he was a 'cos I'm naturally stupid. with Judi Dench. have a silly accent. like dancing... war hero? Oh yes, go see it.

Simpsons Simpsons .filinpsffifiB t:': And as such I have ableci "'prah&My .MJllisi ^^i&cfeJVe-aiways herya ...And-)..don't even havo .Koadlasa ' ; .nan I'm chossn- the:" 'SaJapsQhs-- for the foreeable future, ililllgcsfated byf,: not i o -,< e i ' e c o m p 1 efaih x y a : .a at this this wee&Sllicsji,iaii: c$m perhaps even into the having Sky so I can i' "* tt a tim© and prospe-dt a^aai as .such tell wyttltlbb tliil; tiift next millenium. To be M'tiicti -'timm at ' least cbainie? nince it's the ><':/ : ' ay: :o th)'

1 .iio on BBC2 every day isfeesti:: E tp;.qb Itsa'iiSilIci laNSaai: :dby, But now J same time arid „i< ni ; ' y. -a > on 1: for the whole week... by this feel vindicated hiannel, saoh urne... ,. any „ bbtifces. BBC2, 6pm WBi^tjita: t BBC2, 6pm BJSC'2, tipsa bSbb,

Angie Stone Walkmen The 45s Sum 41 Royksopp Nu-soul bintings from They wander around, Presumably a band Nu-ish-metal-rock- No idea at all. Never some binty bint who and they're men. Maybe relating to vinyl record sperm-aardvark-azer- even heard of them. Nor may or may not be playing musical instru- speeds. They were quite baijahn -your -mum- has anyone. Not a single attractive. No-one will ments, rather like travel- good when they were sucks-donkey-knob-ban- person. So they're prob- tell me, becuase I'm so ling minstrels. Perhaps the 33s, but now they've dit-type -band-banter- ably really alternative one-dimensional. they play lutes. Or not. sold out. Boo. banter-banter. and cool. Shepherd's Bush Empire The Monarch The Metro Club Brixton Academy Astoria

'ggglimMmMSMMM:, Arachibutyrophobia Asfefe2s9€»;r»pliaMa !bs»n i . 1 think most men have This feaMSiif .com- This' , . a fear of being this,... :_-.!..':. - . If ©Mb :Tbe;is; stogllPM'"' mots mon, 1 don't think. I don't ';i.'.".i Oi! Linton, 1 afate -:Stiiii|s,„.:'il:-i|;.. .thi; sex, m my opinion, and '6Ssfi^.s'n.a?be'.It is. It's [trying in oddest o <., i '!.. tteanag - i fear 6f0^&p^jMrW:^Mi then I wouldn't be so t&rfHlOMM.THig peanut banana listening? '<'»>, yova ttt;) a., ah iy.tnati.Oiig. exactly scared ci it, but , icariP; ' aay .; apKf SMAJ fmU&i stieliag . jo tlia not? Oh,, i- \. it- t I supjxise it would keep I'd rather get it out of me to alleviate my fear 1 ' i! .. i rit my. yna lii, thona't ... ypa bbsssb,' Ibetty iblStbb' >i' >V'i ,'0 1 ..'.i''"„».' . iiinm1 / ., AfJo '' , il ' IN 1 <;;. 'i',a music reviews

A Timo Maas ...Trail Of Dead Hi-Fi Serious Loud Source Tags and Codes

Out this Monday on London records Out this Monday on Perfecto records Out this Monday on Interscope records

Big guitars tuned as low as they can go, This album came with an impressive The third album from Texan rock misfits playing a viciously heavy riff - something DVD case and stickers, so of course I ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of we hear a bit too often in these nu-metal- instantly agreed to review it. Though I Dead has the same underground rock heavy times. It usually means that we're had been impressed with Timo's music ethic as their previous releases, the about to hear some spoilt American brat before, notably his wicked remix of eponymous .. .AYWKUBTTOD and whining on about why his trousers don't Azzido Da Bass' Doom's Night, I wasn't Madonna. fit properly or something. But not this sure what I would get from this album. I Listening to this kind of music makes time, baby: today is brought to you by shouldn't have worried. me feel like I've lost something. I'm not the letter A and the (album) number 3. Unsure as to which dance category sure what, but as all those guitar chords, Anyone not familiar with the work of A this album falls into, I checked the biog- impassioned vocals and frantic drums ought to be ashamed of themselves. This raphy - apparently it's "wet and hard!" come at me, I feel strangely disconnect- London-based band are living proof that I'd say it's got a bit of trance, house, pro- ed, as though I should be having a mov- it is possible to play great tunes, have gressive and breakbeat - so, basically, ing experience, but I'm actually not. Or fun and rock stupidly hard without pan- this is for anyone who likes dance. maybe the sheer intensity of a band like dering to the self-centred, nihilistic ten- The two big collaborations on this ...Trail of Dead requires more than just a dencies of a hormonally imbalanced album are with Kelis and Finley Quaye. brief listen - perhaps you have to really Slipknot fan. OK, so Finley might not have released feel the music before you can appreciate Your average A song involves finding a anything for a very long time, but he's it fully. Or maybe they're just not as good blissful melody, adding some lyrics still out on the scene. His track Caravan as other rock bands. (about how cool they are/catching the is very spiritual, with his usual soothing This album certainly grows on you. tube/why Starbucks are shit), lacing the vocals. The Kelis track Help Me has a The first listen just flows over me, and it whole thing with comedy sound effects mysterious beat in the background and a takes a while to get into the whole thing. and then playing it like a seriously tal- general ghostly feel to it. I think the people who would get the ented Van Halen cover band. The new single To Get Down will be a most out of this are those who really live Those of you already associated with A floor-filler, with its funky beats and and breathe rock and guitars - essential- probably want to know if this new plat- wicked guitar riff. Another highlight is ly, it's one for the fans. Because this is ter is much cop. Well yeah, it is. The That's How I've Been Dancin', which has quite hardcore. Not in an overwhelming- tunes may be a little more sedate, with great vocals and an awesome beat. ly heavy Mudvayne/Carcass kind of way, less hardcore outbursts than before, and I definitely prefer the real house tracks but in a strangely disjointed manner. the lyrics slightly less juvenile (which is on the album - the slower beats just drag You'll be listening to psychotic power a shame). But the hooks bury deeper and on a little bit too long. The only other crit- chords, and then some French folk music faster than before, the standout tracks icism I have is of the track arrangement - will pop up. such as Nothing and Starbucks are cer- the tempo of adjacent tracks seems to Occasionally loud, occasionally sensi- tainly the best things they have ever differ dramatically, and perhaps a slow tive, often anthemic and sometimes done, and I have a nagging suspicion progression would have been better. tending towards the self-indulgent, this that most of the songs will be taken to a Overall, a great album with funky album is full of surprises and never con- new dimension in a live setting, where beats and not a single song that I dislike. ventional. Not for all tastes, but if you like this band really shine. Loud will definitely enhance Timo Maas' rock and you like something a bit differ- [See page 18 for an interview with lead status as an artist, and I hope to hear ent (you know who you are), then I would singer Jason Perry.] some of these tracks when out clubbing. recommend .. .Trail of Dead.

Ben Oscar TomX reviews music

Wmmk

Air Aqua Bassino Various

Everybody Hertz Beats N Bobs LP Long Time Dead

Out now on Source records Out this Monday on F Communications Original Soundtrack Out now on Talkin Loud records Air's "new" offering does not consist After the likes of Llorca led the way with solely of new music, but is a compilation modern jazz last year, now comes Aqua Though I can appreciate that this CD has of edits, remixes, alternative versions Bassino, also known as Jason Robertson, more than a little to do with the film Long and one new song. giving us a tasteful selection of nu jazz Time Dead, I think it would be better just There are four different versions of mixed in with a twist of deep house. to sell it as a Best Of Breakbeat And Don't Be Light, which range from upbeat The album begins with a lovely song Garage compilation. I understand that to R&B to a slow, electronic mix. There combining a soulful acoustic guitar, a some people who saw the film may now are two takes on How Does It Make You deep house beat and a soprano saxo- be drooling at the thought of getting Feel, both slow, with a chorus that phone with some vague water sounds their hands on the soundtrack, but since sounds like UB40. that set you drifting away. You then glide the film itself got such a frosty reception, Modjo really incorporate their own dis- on towards Love Is Here To Stay, which, this superb and diverse collection of tinctive style in their remix of People In like most of the tracks, features the vocal tunes really needs to be sold on its own The City. The other mix of this track is by talents of Nikki King. terms. Jack Lahana, who turns the tune com- Aqua Bassino then steps up a gear With a driving mixture of breakbeat, pletely on its head, rapping the chorus. with Baby C'mon, a chilled-out tune with funk and drum 'n' bass, this is a great I'm not going to waste much space a sample from Sweet Home Chicago and soundtrack for a warm, moody evening. describing my views on these remixes - a vibrant deep house beat. Neil Barnes' opener is truly dark and they're pants. The only saving grace on Other artists, such as Colin Steele, are utterly impossible to dance to, but it's this record is The Way You Look Tonight, also introduced, playing over the general just about OK for some slightly scared a chilled-out, soft, delicate song resem- vibe created by Robertson. head-nodding. The standout track is bling tracks from Moon Safari. Although very well made, the album Colonel Red's beautiful soul/hip-hop mix- The CD comes with an enhanced video never has a real sense of direction and ture, and things actually approach the of People In The City. But there's nothing seems monotonous. In this post-St. "quite nice" category with Zero 7's "enhanced" about it - just a bit of zoom- Germain era, too many have jumped onto Waiting Line (pic above) - a gorgeous ing around a city followed by footage of the nu jazz bandwagon, and as a result, blend of Portishead trip-hop and Air key- the band at the Mayan Theatre. the sound is becoming repetitive. More boards, all caressed with a pleasant, This is nothing special, and I only hope new ideas and creative touches are dreamy vocal. that Air release something new soon. required. More surprisingly, however, there's some good garage here too. I find garage TobyB TobyB hard to appreciate at the best of times, and there are a couple of average exam- ALICIA KEYS COMPETITION ples on here, but they're rescued by the Alicia Keys' debut album Songs In A Minor ever-reliable MJ Cole. Nextisms is full of was one of the major success stories of offbeat rhythms, featuring strings neatly 2001. Her new single A Woman's Worth is juxtaposed with a surging bass line. released on 18 March. To win a copy of With Roni Size and Krust charging in to both, just tell us how many Brit Awards finish off the album, this is a great ride Alicia Keys was nominated for. through much of what is good about the Please email your answer, along with UK dance scene today. Forget about the your name, year and department, to film. Buy this for the music. [email protected] by Thursday 7 March. -«/, # .art* // ID Derek music reviews

INTERVIEW with Jason Perry from A

Felix caught up with the motor-mouth of rock to discuss snow- boarding tips, plans for global domination and the release of their third studio album (see review, page 16).

FELIX: How was the recording of the new album? JASON: It was great to get back into the studio. We'd been tour- ing and promoting the last album [1999's A vs Monkey Kong] for three years because we staggered the release - it came out first in the UK, then across Europe, and in the States a year later. The touring was getting to us and if we hadn't called a stop to it and got into the studio, it would have all gone a bit pear-shaped. So now that the recording's over, what are the tour plans? LIVE: Cornershop I'm gagging to get back out on the road. We'll be touring here in Britain over the next couple of weeks, playing the Astoria in @ Scala London, and then going over to Europe for a couple of weeks. We'll be hitting the States for the summer, then on to Japan and The venue was packed for Cornershop's first UK gig in four the rest of Asia for the end of the year. years, and we were treated to new material from their forth- Are you on the Warped Tour in the States this year? coming album Handcream For A Generation, due for release on We've done the Warped Tour before, and it was ace. You get to April 1 through Wiiija. There was no support band, and the only see loads of wicked bands night after night, like Pennywise - pre-Cornershop entertainment came from a sixties-style DJ set those guys are amazing live. You get to hang out with great peo- and a patched-up video of the idiotic adventures of Peter ple and just do cool shit for the whole tour. Plus, you get to play Sellers. in some crazy places, like this one time we played a Warped Cornershop's set started in a pretty strange way: nobody on Tour date in a bullring in Spam. stage, a brass sample, and then the bass guitarist came on and The new album seems to be a little more serious, and there played in a funky style. Then, the drummer, two guitarists and are none of the short hardcore songs. Why is that? a sitar player entered, and a really lively sound filled the venue. To be honest, I don't think we did the hardcore punk stuff very Finally, a percussionist arrived with the singer, Tjinder Singh. well - it was a bit of pissing around, and not really what A was His vocals, added to the sitar and the percussion, produced the about at all. We take the whole "making music" thing really distinctive Cornershop sound, typified by most of the tracks on seriously. Anyone who takes the business side of music is crazy, their previous album When I Was Born For The 7th Time. Then but the one area we're really concerned about is the music mak- some pictures and videos were shown with some kitsch ing. That's it. I think this is the first time we've been allowed to Cornershop logos, and we knew that the funky days were back make the music we've really wanted to make, so this is the true again! sound of A. The first three tracks, taken from the new album, lacked fresh- Any chance of some piss-take B-sides, like the Owner Of A ness and fluidity. Tjinder seemed to have difficulty smiling, and Lonely Heart cover? seemed more interested in his technicians than in the audience. Oh yeah, B-sides, we may well do some piss-takes there. The band were not very subtle when the three guitarists all What about the live show shenanigans? Will the snow played at once; I preferred it when other instruments became machine be travelling with you this time? involved, such as keyboards or an Indian bass. Then, we heard You know what that snow machine smells like? You can just six songs from When I Was Born For The 7th Time, including the imagine some fourteen-year-old getting back from the gig cov- singles Good Shit, Sleep On the Left Side and the famous Brimful ered in that stuff, and his parents going "What the hell was Of Asha. These suddenly gave me a compelling desire to listen going on?!" and never letting him go to a rock gig again! Yeah, again to their last record. we should be taking that out with us again. Their fifty-minute set finished with the new single Lessons Speaking of snow, have you managed to get out to Tahoe this Learned From Rocky I To Rocky III, which sounded great in a season? sort of pop-rock style and was almost conventional. Thankfully, We haven't had the time. We were going to try and get out to they came back for an epic fifteen-minute track (Spectral Mammoth whilst we were recording in LA, but we ended up Mornings, taken from the forthcoming album), which managed just chilling with some mates and shopping instead. We're look- to make the crowd dance thanks to a mixture of pop-rock and ing into maybe recording the next album in Tahoe next winter traditional Indian sounds. though, which would be great. Recording and boarding con- A pretty good gig, but definitely too short. stantly for a couple of months - nothing could be better!

Frangois Ben reviews music

OUT THIS WEEK

The following are due for release on Monday 4 March: ALBUMS A - Hi-Fi Serious AQUA BASSINO - Beats N Bobs LP TIMO MAAS - Loud SAHARA HOTNIGHTS - Jennie Bomb ...TRAIL OF DEAD - Source Tags And Codes VARIOUS - Sounds From The Souk SINGLES THE 45S - Waiting For My Heart To Break BUSTA RHYMES - Break Ya Neck ...along with all eight singles reviewed below

LAST MAN STANDING - Nobody Singles Glam-rock meets punk in this dark effort from Last Man Standing, whose mixture of heavy guitar riffs and gravelly yet Roundup tuneful vocals sounds like King Adora's Maxi Browne singing for The Clash. The B-sides are more of the same, proving that HUNDRED REASONS - If I Could this band are definitely one to keep an eye out for in the near I wonder if Hundred Reasons (pic above) will ever be popular? future. Too odd for the monkeys who go ape for Blink 182, and too pop for the hardcore masses, these over-earnest lads fall heavily Jess between two stools. This time around, they've neglected to include either a decent, memorable tune or some good rock CORNERSHOP - Lessons Learnt From Rocky I To Rocky III action. They've been good in the past, but this is disappointing. Tjinder Singh is back! And this time round he doesn't need the remixing talents of Fatboy Slim to make him sound good. Kunal Lessons Learnt From Rocky I To Rocky III sounds a bit like early Super Furries without the Welshness, and the song title itself GOMEZ - Shot Shot has to be the greatest for... well, ages. Expect this to be on the At last, some new material from Gomez. This is not a bad Radio 1 (over)playlist for at least the next ten months. Good B- song, with a catchy chorus and many different instruments, but side, too. it's not in the same league as Get Myself Arrested or Bring It On. Nonetheless, it makes a welcome change from the sombre Ben remix album Abandoned Shopping Trolley Hotline. THE SUPERNATURALS - What We Did Last Summer TobyB Oh dear! Whatever happened to The Supernaturals? They used to be known for happy guitar-based rock, bringing us such THE EIGHTIES MATCHBOX B-LINE DISASTER - fabulous songs as Smile and Lazy Lover, but now all we get are Morning Has Broken drum machines and too many synthesizers. What We Did Last This band have got a lot to answer for - their name is a veri- Summer is such a mess that nothing can repair it. The vocals table mouthful, and their new single Morning Has Broken is grate, the beats don't work and there are too many Human enough to cause any small child listening to burst into tears. League noises. Westlife aside, I never thought my ears could be Sounding a bit like a satanic cross between the Strokes and the hurt this much. Sex Pistols, this single is sure to annoy parents across the coun- try. Having said all that, and although the A and B-sides are vir- Tank tually indistinguishable, this is well worth a listen or five. ALPINESTARS - Snow Patrol Jess Snow Patrol is a lively dance track with a thumping bass line and electronically mastered vocals, singing lyrics which seem THE DANDY WARHOLS - Get Off to be based on some kind of alpine sport. The B-sides are a bit A catchy tune that picks up pace as it goes on, with a simple of a let down, however - a Lo-Fidelity Allstars remix which rhythm and strange chanting voices in the background. At first, sounds too much like the original, and a pretty non-descript I didn't think much of this, but it's definitely one of those tracks track called Social Circles which sounds like it could have been that just sounds better on radio. made using a Commodore 64.

TobyB Jess clubbing reviews

The Gallery INTERVIEW

@ Turnmills with Max Graham

It's the day after Bedrock's first night of FELIX: Coming from nowhere to rank You've been DJing, making tunes and the year, and I'm strung out. But I'm at at No 23 in the DJ Magazine chart is remixing in stacks since you broke The Gallery, so it doesn't matter any great, but how did you get there? through with Bar None in the UK. more. An up-for-partying crowd almost What's in store for the future? fill the floor even when it hasn't really MAX: Most votes came from the US, and kicked off yet. There aren't any glow- I'm very happy with that, but I'm aware I'm 90% DJing and 10% producing at the sticks here, but everyone wears bright that down-to-earth grass roots promo- moment. I only started producing to fur- enough clothing to get picked out artisti- tion is what helped my earlier career ther my DJing career - ideally I'd DJ cally by the lasers. more. I used to send out charts of tunes I rather than produce. I love all that. My What is really noticeable is the scary thought were hot to Hope Records regu- newest tune, Crank, is signed and out in lack of attitude at this place, even when larly, so they knew my name, and that the spring. The next mix CD, the follow- drinks are spilt over people or they bump way I established a relationship in order up to Transport, is also slated for around into each other. to access new promos for the progressive the same time, and in the meantime it's One o'clock: Max Graham transports sound which hadn't really taken off in more DJing and also a couple of collabo- the crowd to Planet Turnmills, a place Canada at the time. In the end, they were rations with other artists and DJs who I where premium bangin', funky, trippy like "the Canadian guy's on the phone really respect. house is dropped and where the DJ about the charts", because I bugged makes us dance like we're on the points them so much, but when I needed the Canada's your home, but how do of his Technics needles. I carry on danc- records I got them and when I started crowds react differently across the ing and jumping and yelling and whoop- sending my own demos around, I was world, and in Ibiza are they really just ing and cheering and throwing down already known thanks to my legwork, one big melting pot? moves I never knew I had. It's like I'm on and that's really paid off for me. coke and not caffeine. Amongst the sonic Israel goes off, Tokyo goes off, New York chaos, I recognise the new Trisco track Transport 4 [a double CD mixed by goes off, London goes off - but y'know and soon we have waves upon waves of Graham] was named as one of the com- what? Every club and every crowd even- tough-nut, sledgehammer beats to shake pilations of the year by M8 magazine, tually becomes the same. the kidneys and intestines of the Gallery but the first review from DJ magazine massive some more. This is a stonking criticised its lack of emotion compared This is your second Turnmills gig at dance marathon to shake off the working to other mix CDs and the fact that it The Gallery, so what attracted you here week - or whatever your problems are. banged it out from start to finish. Your in the first place, and what drew you The synth bass starts to shake the feelings on that, Max? back? room (and my ears), but I'm in the zone now. The pounding high-impact key- That's how I play. You can't be anyone Timo Maas, actually. He was lined up to board slab-stabs take me to that place in other than yourself when you're mixing; play and said to the management, "I'll do my mind where I'm thinking of perpetual if it's not you then it won't be any good. I it, but this other DJ I know needs to play explosions of light (greatly aided by Mr had to be myself rather than fit the brand here as well", and he got me the gig. I Newman's kickass laser light show; he's too closely or sound like some other DJ. loved it. After six weeks off [from New even having problems keeping up with In general, trying to permanently change Year 2002], I was really itching to get the music). Right to the very end, the your sound too quickly according to what back here and play again. It's really just Gallery crowd are screaming, yelling and you think is the next big thing just makes the crazy party vibe of the place that cheering, and I walk away thinking "that you sound terrible, because it's just not brought me back - the crowd here always was a top night out". you. appreciate you.

Ken Ken reviews clubbing

21st Century Body Rockers There Going Clubbing

@ Cynthia's Robot Bar @ Heaven On The Cheap

This was the first 21st Century Body You've all heard of it, you all know where Word up peeps. Rockers night, organised by Cool Delta, it is, but how many of you have actually If you read this on Friday and you're and as such my expectations were high. been? Heaven has been described as not going out tonight, then shame on Cool Delta, in their own words, spe- "probably London's best-kept clubbing you. However, if you'd like to join the cialise "in only cool, credible releases", secret". Well, it's not exactly a secret that elite ranks of Felix clubbing reviewers, these cool, credible people being the there are three huge floors, each with dif- and blag your way into some quality likes of Aphex Twin, The Strokes, FC ferent music policies. It's no secret that (and, alas, kwality) clubs, then simply Kahuna, Seafood, Ed Harcourt, the crowd in attendance aren't exactly read on... Cornelius, Squarepusher, Sigur Ros, Mull shy - "no holds barred" begins to have I am looking for people who are inter- Historical Society, Adam Freeland, more interesting connotations. It's hardly ested in clubbing (or just scoring a free Preston School Of Industry and Felix Da a high-level, confidential and politically night out for themselves) to write to me Housecat to name but a few. All in all, sensitive datum that the dancefloors and at [email protected], leaving contact you'd be forgiven for expecting an eclec- bars are packed with beautiful boys and details. Telling me what sort of music tic mix of leftfield, ambient, moody, alt- girls of all orientations proceeding to first you like would also be helpful. rock, no-wave, post-rock, lo-fi under- glow, then perspire and finally sweat. So, Continuing the blagging theme, we ground beats, breaks, harmonies and whither the mystique and aura? Go down now have a word from our sponsors... soundscapes... and find out. The venue itself suggests something Let us begin our tour of this delectable, Are you having the time of your life? slightly to the left of the avant-garde. decadent and degraded diversion in the No? Cynthia's Robot Bar is nestled away main room, where the heaving crowd are We at Mixmag are putting together a under the arches at London Bridge, and kept smiling and raving to hard house team of chancers, blaggers and nutbags as such it comprises a maze of routes and high energy trance. There's plenty of to work with us on our club promotions through retro-futuristic decorated rooms. action from the DJs to keep our sweaty street team. Everything is shiny metal and flashing mob happy for a while. Let us leave this Impress your friends by earning red lights. Seats light up when you sit on crazy, loveable bunch and head towards money, getting in free to London's best them. A robot serves you drinks (well, the Star Bar. Tonight is a special night, for clubs and gaining experience in club pro- actually it was a large, clunky contrap- no less a star than Kenny Carpenter (of motions. tion that was malfunctioning and just New York's Studio 54 fame) is DJing. We Up for it? replied "PANIC" to the request for a may not have asked for house, but that's Send us your photograph, list your vodka and cranberry). And, of course, all what we've got - the finest in US house to favourite clubs and music, and tell us the people look "cool and credible". writhe rhythmically to. Or maybe you can how you get your mates to go on a big So much for my expectations. The DJs keep in time to the shakes of the other night out. Email all this to: from City Rockers proceeded to play guests, such as Joey Negro. what can only be described as "tech- Perhaps you fancy something different. [email protected] house" all night. In all the rooms. Why not mosey on into the Dakota Bar, for Without any variation or innovation. It some urban beats and alternative flavas? or write to: never even made it to techno proper, or You are now in the office party to end all to hard house, or to a decent four-to-the- office parties, the speakers are pumping Mandy McGarvey, floor. Any hint of the avant-garde had out Kylie and the Chemicals, and some- Mixmag, been ruthlessly removed, leaving me one's nicked the fax machine. You no Mappin House, wondering if I'd come to the right club. longer care. 4 Winsley Street, Every Saturday. Doors open at 11pm. Every Friday. Doors open at 10pm. London, W1W 8HF

Robert Robert Patrick film reviews

The Mothman Prophecies Richard Gere Released 1st March PROFILE

A two hour episode of the X-files featuring Richard Gere cer- The star of The Mothman Prophecies has been a Buddhist for tainly won't be to everyone's liking, and I didn't really expect over a decade and is just as famous for being a humanitarian as it to be to mine, especially given the B-movie title. an actor - although I have only just been told he does acting... Ever since my first encounter with the Gere oeurve, Pretty Gere has been one of the foremost and most radical support- Woman, a lovely, romantic tale about a businessman and his ers of the Tibetan independence movement. He has even been hooker, I have found it hard to understand his enduring suc- banned from the Oscars after making anti-China comments on cess as a lead actor. But I was able to enjoy this movie despite air at the 1993 ceremony. In fact, Jackie Chan threatened to his presence. His performance is not too painful at all and "bosch him up" after the ceremony if he did not "keep his opin- things are helped by Mark Pellington's direction (basically, ions to himself" in the future. Chan vs. Gere... China owns Tibet. don't ask too much of him). Richard Gere was born in 1949 in Philadelphia. His father was After a split-second vision causes his wife to crash their called Homer, an insurance salesman. He dropped out of uni- car, John Klein (Gere) walks away but his wife later dies in versity to pursue a 'career' in acting. Initially, gaining notoriety hospital. In her final hours she produces reams of odd sketch- as an actor in Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977), his big hit was ings of what she supposedly saw. Then, two years later, on a Pretty Woman (1990). After that, his movie career has been a foggy overnight drive to Richmond, John's car breaks down. scramble up the slippery slope of anonymity. He has kept him- He tries to get help at the first door he comes across, but self afloat with such armbands as First Knight (1995), The there he is greeted by a gun pointed at his face and a voice Jackal (1997), and Runaway Bride (1999) - which means The telling him he has been expected. The puzzled journalist from Mothman Prophecies is his first decent movie in living memory. the Washington Post has found himself hundreds of miles from where he thought he was, in the town of Point Pleasant, MOTHMAN COMPETITION Virginia. The town has borne witness to eerie apparitions and This week's competition gives you a eye witnesses describe the figure depicted in his wife's draw- chance to WIN! WIN! WIN! (or lose) a ings. John is intrigued and sacrifices his work assignment to whole lot of official Mothman investigate. More sightings occur and many of those who Prophecies merchandise and promo come into contact with the Mothman become able to correct- gere. Bosch. Answer the question and ly predict global tragedies. It is left up to John the journalist you could win a Mothman Rucksack, a to explain what is going on. Mothman T-shirt, another Mothman T- With almost no appearance from the Mothman himself, the Shirt and Special Vison Distortion film takes a much more psychological, human approach to the Specs (SVDS). So... unexplainable phenomena that surround the main character, In which chilling 1996 movie did John Klein - but, nonetheless, there is really very little point Edward Norton star alongside to this film. We don't learn about John's grief at the death of Richard Gere? his wife, nothing much is made about the possibility of being a) American History X able to glimpse the future nor the accepted dismissal of wit- b) Primal Fear nesses as crazies. There is not much to ponder on beyond the MOTH MAN c) Red Corner leaving of the cinema - but, having said that, I enjoyed it Answers to [email protected]. The HlOfil ECS ES while it lasted. Taxi2 comp winner was Giles Ross, a Adam Joyce 2nd Year Biologist. interview film 23

Richard Gere Since the success of The Sixth Sense there seem to be more and more movies with supernatural themes. Why are we so Q&A fascinated by it? I don't think it ever goes away. It's part of our collective uncon- scious, whether we're tribal people or we're urban people. I You haven't made a supernatural thriller before, is that why think it's genetically-coded in us and, in a way, that belief is you wanted to do this? more powerful in urban people who are continually having it cut No, it was the script itself. I didn't say, 'I want to make a scary out of their lives. So that need to express it is always there. movie'. The script came and I could see the possibilities, although it went through a lot of drafts to find the balance What's your favourite scary movie? between a scary movie and a smart movie. Well the scariest movie I ever saw had no ghost in it and that was "The Servant". It was a Joseph Losey film from a Harold What did you like about the script? Pinter screenplay and it was the same kind of terror that The emotional stuff was rich. In the beginning, my character's "Mothman" deals with: it calls into question the nature of iden- in the perfect job, he has a beautiful wife, they're talking about tity. I think that's scary to everyone. babies, they're buying a house, everything's great and then lit- erally in the middle of laughing, there's a car accident and she's Do you believe in psychic phenomena, and have you had any gone. Now if you put that on top of the metaphysical story of 'Is personal experience of ghosts? there anything out there?', then you have something that has a I have no interest at all in that, although if someone came up lot of power. with the Loch Ness Monster I'd be interested. As for ghosts, there's been nothing that shook me to my marrow. You wanted to avoid the cliches of the genres, is that why we don't see the mothman? Your co-star is Laura Linney, who you worked with on 1996's That's the B-movie version of this. The assumption is that this Primal Fear when she was still unknown. Was it fun working is a metaphysical story, not a ghost story, meaning that we're with her again? making the adult's thinking version. So the trick and brilliance I was delighted because she helps elevate the film to the right of director Mark Pellington was finding a visual vocabulary that level. We're very good friends and now, after You Can Count On would suggest a presence and give you the kind of chilling feel- Me, everyone realises how good she is. ing that was much deeper and larger than 'Don't open that door!'. This was more like a dream and dreams aren't usually You don't seem to dominate co-stars like some big movie 'there's something behind the door', they're more a feeling that stars..? seems to take over everything. No, I like the collaborative process. I like people working together and what the project says and does is equally impor- You normally play characters who are in control but your tant to me as what I do. Do I have ideas about it? Of course I do character in this, John Klein, thinks he's going mad.... and I've been around long enough now for people to listen to I don't think the people I play are in control. I think the charac- me, for better or worse. But the satisfying thing about doing this ters always strive for control and it's the fact that they can't movie was working with all these extremely talented, hyper- have it that makes drama. They have the illusion of control but creative people who were also very trusting and open, which the universe never gives any of us control, otherwise there'd be was important because this had to come together quickly; we no drama at all. You know, people think they're on balance, life didn't have six weeks of rehearsal time. puts them off-balance and they have to find someway to re- establish balance. You started out doing stage musicals like Grease and now you're making the film of Chicago. Is that fun? Do you think your efforts on behalf of the Tibetans and your It's a total delight and it's something I haven't done since I was criticism of China have ever had a negative effect on your a kid. Even then, I was working in musicals, but they were career? never this kind of Broadway show. I get to sing and dance with No, no effect at all. I never really think about it. You know, you beautiful girls and I have a big tap-dancing number at the end. say something that wasn't popular but I'm not aware of it when I'm doing it and then, quite often, I get these letters from my co- You're a New Yorker, so how did you react to the events of workers, other actors or musicians, thanking me for saying September 11th? what ever I said. It was so shocking that it kind of calls into question the nature of identity on many levels. The skyline of New York changed in When you were a teenager, did you think that at 52 you'd be one hour. Just mind-boggling. To imagine that it's gone; some- a major star? thing that we thought was going to be there as a monument for- Oh, I never saw past 25. How can you project that far ahead? I ever. And the identity we had as a country totally changed and had no idea. I mean, it's like asking a rock star if they think so did the people. As the anger and vengeance came up, that they'll still be prancing around at 55. It's like no, you think shocked our identity as well. You know, we're Christians, we're you're going to be dead at 26. Buddhists, we're not supposed to feel this way. books reviews

DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD

The Shape of Snakes Dialogues of the Dead Minette Walters Reginald Hill

On a rainy night in a lower class London suburb, Mrs A short-story contest for the local newspaper brings more Ranelagh unexpectedly stumbles across an old black woman, contestants than anyone had expected. One of them submits Annie Butts, lying at the side of the road. Mad Annie is the the distasteful "The First Dialogue," which recounts the death neighbourhood enigma, the local cat lady, who often seems by drowning of a nice man while the writer looks on and drunk and disoriented, and who is fiercely paranoid. As she doesn't help. A day or so later a news item appears in the looks at Annie's bruised body and into her eyes, she is con- paper describing the incident in detail. The readers dismiss it vinced that Annie has been murdered. The police and the rest until "The Second Dialogue" appears in their mail sack and a of the neighbourhood, including Ranelagh's husband and her similar news item is found in the newspaper. By the time of best friend, insist Annie was simply the victim of a hit and "The Third Dialogue" the police are involved with a murder run driver. However Mrs Ranelagh, who is already struggling investigation. The writer of the Dialogues is dubbed the with a troubled marriage, vows to prove otherwise. She "Wordman" and the chase is on. The only problem is that the wants justice. Or does she merely want revenge? Wordman is an extremely cunning killer as well as a word- In this dark novel, the true stories of Annie and Mrs smith without equal - and in all that he does he seems to by Ranelagh, finally surface. For example, the misunderstood toying with the police and media. The text of both the Annie was a victim of Tourette's Syndrome, harassment, and "Dialogues" and the novel are rife with wordplay and obscure probably racism. Her possessions have been stolen, her cats words. Have an unabridged dictionary (preferably the Oxford threatened. In her painstaking twenty year investigation of English Dictionary if possible - it plays a role in the book) Annie's death, Ranelagh uncovers layer upon layer of decep- handy if you are the type that feels compelled to look up tions - wife and husband abuse, vicious assault and rape, unknown words. marital indifference and infidelity, and thoughtless cruelty to Although Dalziel, Pascoe and Wield play prominent roles, animals and children. In this novel, no one, including best the spotlight is taken by the rookie DC Bowler (known as friends, husbands, and seemingly good Samaritans, are quite "Hat" - another of the myriad of wordplays in the novel) and what they seem. the librarian Rye Pomona. Much of the story and investigation However, Walters does not merely create and solve an are told through their eyes, and a more likeable and interest- intriguing mystery. As each revelation in the solution of ing pair you'll be hard pressed to find in Hill's oeuvre. Annie's murder occurs, the perceptive reader comes to ques- Hill keeps the reader's interest at a high peak wondering tion anyone's ability to easily recognise or prevent evil. As who the next victim of the Wordman will be. This is a fine Walters says, like the shape of snake's heads, evil too comes book, well written and witty. It isn't as emotional as On in many subtle forms. Through her skilled, thoughtful writing, Beulah Height or The Wood Beyond, but it does show Walters breathes life into many difficult, ethical questions, Reginald Hill teasing and entertaining the reader, demon- such as: Why do people hate so illogically anything which is strating his literary skills and knowledge without patronising different? How do violence, cruelty, and racism become an his audience. Anyone who likes Hill's work will enjoy this integral part of a child's life? Are only parents to blame? book; anyone who has ambitions to move beyond convention- Fortunately Miss Walters offers hope; some good people do al detective fiction will find this an entry into a new world; care; and some adults overcome part of the horrors of their and those who regard serial novels and detective fiction as an past. Without a doubt, this complex, mesmerising, and often unimportant genre will discover how the constraints of form disturbing novel is one of Minette Walters' best. can be used to hold together an impressive piece of work. reviews books

mm

m ^ About the Author Bitterroot John Colapinto James Lee Burke

Cal Cunningham calls himself a writer, but he's too busy to sit Billy Bob Holland, ex-Texas Ranger and now an attorney, goes down and actually write anything. He spends his days work- to Montana to visit his friend Doc Voss. However, the visit ing as a bookstore stock boy and his nights and weekends in turns into a working vacation when Voss is arrested for the the bars of Manhattan chasing women. On Sunday mornings, murder of a biker who participated in the gang rape of his he spins tales about his conquests to his roommate, a reclu- young daughter. Voss has been active in speaking out against sive, hard-working Columbia law student named Stewart a company dumping cyanide into the river of the Bitterroot Church in their small flat in Washington Heights. When Valley, as well as antagonising the local right-wing militia. He Stewart is killed in a bicycle accident, Cal finds a novel - a also had a confrontation with the biker prior to his murder. brilliant novel - based on Cal's own exploits hidden in Voss is not the only one with a problem, though. There is a Stewart's desk. Cal is appaled, and then inspired. He sends killer in Montana, newly released from prison, who is tracking the novel off to one of New York's leading literary agents, Holland. He holds the attorney responsible for his sister's claiming it is his own, and work begins on turning Cal into death and intends to make Holland pay for it. The FBI is also the next literary giant. planting informants in some of these anti-social groups in an Cal is horrified when, whilst looking through Stewart's effort to determine if it can learn more about the Oklahoma work for a short-story for a magazine piece, he finds evidence City bombing, and Holland works to play these groups off that the manuscript of Stewart's novel was sent to a woman. against each other. Throw in some mob-connected villains and He intercepts this copy and immediately falls in love with the author has indeed created a dangerous mixture for all con- Stewart's ex-girlfriend Janet, and soon ends up marrying her. cerned. The book is a smash hit, and as he claims the rewards of lit- Burke is perhaps the most poetic crime writer currently erary lionisation, Cal convinces himself that he is, really, at working in America. His ability to paint a portrait with words bottom, responsible for the writing of the book, if not exactly is unsurpassed, offering the reader a true visual feel for the its author. settings and the characters. While all those in the novel are The novel convincingly portrays Cal's determined delusion well drawn, the standout is Billy Bob himself. Haunted with that everything has worked out just as it was meant to be. As guilt over the accidental shooting of his partner, Holland sees he begins his new life with Janet in Vermont, he thinks how his ghost everywhere - in fact, he actually looks for the spirit "Stewart's ghost had turned out to be a benevolent spectre to appear so he can discuss his life, as well as the case, with after all, his spirit helping to shape my destiny, to guide both him. Further, the author has constructed an engrossing tale of Janet and me to this moment." Which is all well and good, mystery that is not for the faint of heart. until Cal discovers that someone else is in possession of a copy of the original manuscript. The Shape of Snakes is published by Pan, £6.99 This novel is very much in the style of the Thomas Ripley Dialogues of the Dead is published by Collins, £6.99 novels by Patricia Highsmith, with its very dark, almost noir About the Author is published by 4th Estate, £10 feel. The sense of desperation that Cal Cunningham feels Bitterroot is published by Orion, £12.99 when his life is at stake from his blackmailer is very gripping. This is John Colapinto's first novel and is one of the best that All these books are out now and would make excellent read- I have read in a long while, with an excellent prose style and ing during the coming Easter break - not as a substitute for a really satisfying ending. revision but as a wonderful supplement to it. arts reviews

Stones in his Pockets lolanthe Duke of York's Theatre Savoy Theatre

Until the 29th of June you have a chance of seeing one of the 'Iolanthe' is a story of thwarted love, and its eventual consum- funniest plays in the West End. Stones in his Pockets, written by mation. In an absurd fairy world, Iolanthe, the fairy of the title Marie Jones is based in Ireland and follows the goings-on of is disgraced for marrying a mortal, and is banished to live at the two Irishmen, Charlie Conlon and Jake Quinn as extras in a bottom of a stream. So beloved was she by her Queen and the movie - shot in a small Irish town - wanting to make it big. Their other fairies, however, that 25 years into this sentence she is bid for fame is helped by meeting the lead of the movie, Caroline pardoned. Giovanni in the local pub, who takes a fancy to Jake. With It transpires that the distasteful stream was her choice of twists and turns to follow, the story thickens with the suicidal abode in banishment to be close to her son. A son! Half fairy, drowning of Sean, which opens Jakes eyes to the hostile, half mortal (from the waist down), and one who is deeply in love obnoxious film business. with a mortal - a mortal who is a ward of Chancery. Here Gilbert The acting throughout the show is brilliant, Lloyd and Sullivan's plot contrivances become manifestly clear. Of Hutchinson, who plays Charlie and Kieran Lagan who plays course, the Chancellor will thwart Strephon's (the son's) desire Jake, also play every other role in the show. With over 15 char- to marry Phyllis (his loved one) and the production will end acters it may sound as if it's easy to lose the plot, but that never inevitably with their eventual reunion. And Phyllis, you've happens. Both actors do a fantastic job at putting on different guessed it, was once married to the Chancellor. styles for each character, using different postures, accents and The few features in its favour - the gloriously ungraceful, attitudes to distinguish all apart: you'll be gasping for air bawdy fairies, or the well-observed scenes amongst the peers through laughing at the characters quirks and habits. The and Lord Chancellor - did not redeem it. It was difficult to switching from one character to another is well done, directed engage with the story or the personalities. Perhaps this was by Ian McElhinney, who uses the changes in posture, sudden because of the medium - the libretto was often difficult to hear, movements across the stage and other little tricks to convert despite the cast's impressive attempts to enunciate clearly. Lloyd Hutchinson and Kieran Lagan into their alternate charac- That, or an essential difference with Messieurs Gilbert and ters. One wonders how they'll even leave stage or do the switch Sullivan about what constituted an entertaining story. In any to change characters as it is done in so many ways. case, all that one could feel towards the resolution of Strephon Lloyd Hutchinson is a delight to watch as the Director in the and Phyllis' plight was complete indifference. play and Kieran Lagan is superb as Mickey, the only surviving The story line thus dealt with leaves the production itself. extra from the last film to be shot at Co Kerry, "The Great Man". Declaring itself an opera, one might be forgiven for expecting The first act is full of laughs, while the second becomes more something rather more accomplished and visionary than what sombre after the drowning, but somehow is able to tie in one got. Whereas, at least the cast members of musicals can humour around the situation. You end up one moment com- sing, dance and act, the cast of Iolanthe failed to satisfactorily pletely enthralled by the plot, and then the unable to concen- do any of these things. Even allowing for a certain amount of trate due to the ferocity of your laughing. parody, we were still in bad pantomime land. Overall this play has to be seen: it doesn't get loads of amaz- It might be that Iolanthe was simply not to our taste, or oper- ing reviews and nominations for awards for nothing, and I can atic ignorance rendered its charm to be invisible. The Savoy honestly say it is worth spending your pennies on. Tickets start itself, however, was a delight. It was plush, comfortable and a from £16.60 and the nearest tube stop is Leicester Square. fitting setting for much worthier things.

Toby Libby Imperial College Union, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road coffee break

Crossword by Dr. Hot Fudge

4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 1. 2. 3. Across Down I. Distraught due to 2. Band contains monster failed centre of he's followed to end- 9. 10. Edward. (6, 7) less trap. (9) 9. Second note from git 3. Eastern painting of will happen again. (5) chicken is made of

11. 12. 10. Oil favourite part on fired clay. (7) upper motorway. (9) 4. Intensely promotes II. Bloke goes to church home. Why? For soft with extras to find drugs. (5) 13. 14. 15. 16. bloodsuckers. (7) 5. Lawyers sat on tyre, 12. Run article in front of foolish! (9) spectrum. (7) 6. Royal is held by sub- 17. 18. 19. 20. 13. Lessen the serious- jects near the equator. ness of degree con- (7) taining universal 7. Geeky democrat from

21. 22. 23. answer from the east. the west converts an 0) insect. (5) 15. Knight conceals 8. On the return journey reserves with instru- one could be confined 24. 25. ment. (5) to the local hospital? 17. Man found in lycra (8, 5) igloo. (5) 9. Thrill ride is construct- 26. 19. Ned is out to find ed from curling device game-makers to dig- and surface protector. Answer to 1229 - Across: Herself, Integer, Abstainer, Acned, Stamina, up. (9) (13) Stetson, Breathalysers, Police Cordons, Sun Dial, Neither, Usurp, 21. Ancient chief has a 99. 14. Hard to resist preserve Yachtsman, Enlarge, Reserve. (7) has been given copy- Down: Hearsay, Rasta, Evasive, Fantastically, Tragedy, Gangsters, 23. Dog kept in naff exhi- right. (9) Rodents, Restaurant Car, Bilingual, Postule, Crisper, Opiates, Derange, bition, we hear. (4-3) 16. Up and down motion Homer. 24. Step on mega exercise set to work out. (3-6) machine. (9) 18. Relative gets massive I'm back at the helm of the crossword this week to keep you buggers on 25. Half of spinning toy masters degree. (7) your toes. We've tried to make the quotes a little harder this time as held by concealed 20. Choose not one or the some cheeky young scamp complained about last week's efforts. It looks neck bone. (5) other before she puts like me and Bobby C might be getting a bit more space next year to 26. Fish and pig accompa- one in the goal. (7) entertain you with our witful wizardry, so if anyone's got any ideas for ny small bloke sur- 22. Revolutionary and cool, new coffee break features or fancies themselves as a budding rounding rook and loud son make great crossword compiler let us know, cos' we'll be on the look-out for fresh extreme sportsmen. cooks. (5) talent. Last week's winner is Kris Dickerson, Biochem III. He/she (sorry (13) 23. Gunfire coming from I don't know) will join the ranks of millions in the draw for the PS2. Keep girl that Five love. (5) up the good work my pretties. Dr. Hot Fudge

arid ri is otefinr^rly n

Fact-... overload! Neuronal. break coffee

GFQQ - The Great Felix Quote Quiz by Bobby Cyclops & Dr. Hot Fudge

1. "I'm the antichrist, and you've got me in a vendetta kind of Number of players: 65 mood. You tell the angels in heaven you've never seen evil so The Leader Board - top 15 Name Score singularly personified as in the face of the man who killed you." Daniel Sauder 127.5 Christopher Dent 125 2. "I have no idea to this day what them two Italian ladies were Chris Ince 124.5 singin' about. Truth is, I don't want to know. Some things are Simon North 122 best left unsaid. I like to think they were singin' about some- Anthony Rodriques 116 Andrew Ince 113.5 thing so beautiful it can't be expressed in words, and makes John Anderson 112 your heart ache because of it" Michael Simonds 97.5 Fred Marquis 93.5 3. "No questions. No answers. That's the job we've chosen. You just Chris Toffis 71 accept it and move on." Rebekah Hymas 62.5 Arosha Bandara 61 Gregory Mann 59.5 4. "I work for Dick Jones... DICK JONES!" Geoff Lay 58 Kim Randell 58 5. "10 million, 10 million, 10 million dollars! 10 million, 10 million, 10 million dollars!" Answers to [email protected] or to the Felix Office West Wing Basement, Beit Quad. Bonus Question. Name the predators of the Oompa Loompa world

Answers to last week's quotes: 1. John Rhys-Davies/Gimli - Lord of the Rings 2. Robert Duvall/Col. Max Radl - The Eagle Has Landed 3. Frank Oz (voice)/Yoda - SW: The Empire Strikes Back 4. Willem Defoe/Caravaggio - The English Patient 5. John Cusack/Martin Q. - Gross Pointe Blank 6. Michael Biehn/Kyle Reese - Terminator

Now Fudglings, when we talked about your feedback for prize ideas, we expected answers along the lines of "as many DVDs as I can buy" or "the best games console on the market" or even "music vouchers". However, when we get suggestions of "a remote con- trolled tank with working gun", frankly we don't know how to respond. We'll give you a little more time for your feedback, but remember that there are three-hundred notes up for grabs!

I hoped you liked the joke last week, and as I have a large collec- tion, I thought you might like to hear another. OK, here it is....

I was walking along the street the other day when a haggard old man, covered in dirt and wearing nothing but a 'Megadeth' t-shirt stopped me and beckoned towards my trousers. Thinking that he wanted them (as he was wearing none himself) I began to back off. Then he grabbed a hold of them and gestured quite obscenely to the bottom of my trousers. Again, I tried to back away but he reached into his rucksack and pulled out a pair of sheep-sheers. Quite puzzled now, I asked him what he though he was doing. In a gruff, animal tone he grumbled "I'm going to cut off the bottom of your trousers and send them to the library!". I paused for a while, stunned. After a while I realised - that was a turn-up for the books. If you're lucky I will delve deeper into my collection next week! Bobby Cyclops club active

Football II Ice Hockey

Royal Holloway III 2 6 IC II at them, punishing their IC Devils 10 3 Cambridge B period. Our attack thoroughly efforts to push forward. One outclassed the Cambridge Shock! After piling the pres- way traffic ensued as Baskett The first period was the defence this period, with sure on, Holloway hit us on completed a fantastic hat- calmest and least eventful: impressive shifts from all the attack and their player trick, Lansdowne scored a good for the new players still three lines. At the close of the skinned Magic,spent from the deserved interchange goal finding their feet, and allow- second we led 7-1 thanks to night before, before doing and Cartwright hit the goal of ing our more experienced goals this time from Mikko (3), Mills in a similar manner. As the game, a bolt from twenty players to give us a 2-1 lead Dmitry and Alex. Judas began to sing at him, five yards into the top corner. after a couple of goals from Despite a couple of consola- the striker responded by nut- Their only response was to Mikko. tion goals which excited their megging the keeper. IC were pile men forward and when Things started warming up centre enough to stick his now fighting. Magic atoned Dave H "lost his man" at the in the second period, with our tongue out at our bench (keep for previous errors by drilling far post Holloway had man- self-titled 'C. Penguin' being it for your bird you hairy twat), a twenty five yard free kick aged to score the token two given a five minute penalty, there was now no way back into the bottom corner. When goals the seconds concede as along with his victim, for prac- for them. We pulled ahead fur- Brad poked in a rebound from a matter of habit in the cup. tically slicing one of the ther with Mikko, Dmitry and close range. Chances came by The final whistle went and the Cambridge boys in half. By another of our attacking elite the bucket load and the match celebrations started. The arch now Cambridge were used to putting three more past them could have been killed before rivals of Holloway had been our ice, with their dwarfish to end the game 10-3. A solid half-time. . thrashed an embarrassing 6-2 centre making several danger- performance from experi- Barry summoned us to draw to send the mighty seconds to ous breaks toward goal. enced and new members on our strengths and stay on the final, on March 9 . However, thanks in no small alike, the game will provide us our feet against players who Come along and support in part to keeper and man-of- with a good base for the series were clearly unable to defend the provided coaches, and see the-match Adrian Gill, and of matches and possible tour- against the electric pace of us bring the cup back to South some nifty defence work, we naments we have lined up in the seconds attack. We flew Kensington. Boost. kept a clean sheet during this the near future.

IMPERIAL COLLEGE Wushu CHINESE WUSHU TEAM

"Awesome!" - In one word, that truly, there is no better this is how the IC Wushu mirror than wushu to reflect YOUR BODY + YOUR MIND + YOUR SPIRIT = YOU Team would unanimously the beauty of Chinese thought describe Sifu Chen Lei's mas- and the Yin and Yang philoso- terclass that took place on phy. Indeed, wushu is about QIGONG SEM I N A R Saturday 9th February in harmony between contrasts. Southside Gym. It is grace and strength com- by Prof Lianting Zhao Sifu Chen Lei's breathtaking bined; it is both relaxed fluid performances of Taijiquan, moves and powerful energy Changquan 'long boxing' and explosions. It can be slow and Introductory Lecture the Drunken Style (which are languid on the one hand but ,h part of the highest level of this swift and precise on the other. Monday 4 March 2002 discipline) clearly testified to Wushu is about discovering his absolute mastery of the the secret of a calm mind Where: Lecture Theatre 2, different wushu forms - both guiding a quick body for max- Sir Alexander Fleming Building in space and time. They were imum efficiency. At: 7.30-8.30 p.m not merely demonstrations of 5 hours of intense training Course Fee: Students £3.00 per lecture human physical fitness at its with one of the most inspiring highest level, but of mental martial artists of our times For more information contact and spiritual awareness as turned out to be, indeed, a well. most fulfiling experience for Oscar [email protected] 0787049 6929 Watching Sifu Chen Lei, a all those present - for IC Aurelie auretiehuser (51c, ac.uk Sapna [email protected] quadruple National Wushu wushu lovers, definitely an Champion of China, one earth-shattering sensation. would be very tempted to say Sapna active club

A Fine Cornish Pasting

Carnbourne 17 29 RSM the purchase of half a Banana a few minutes letting there was a lack of wine so we plantation and 50 gallons of Camborne catch up to 17-19. sent someone down the off The sun rose around Hyde Lucozade. Following a word of The panther was injured so license thing descended into park last Friday as "all three" inspiration from Dean, along the RSM secret weapon Super anarchy, lots of people had of the RSM rugby team "the the line that we were to go Brewster made his debut, birthdays and Brewster best looking team in IC" made and F*cking murder the scum, quite why no one knows, but chucked the flower arrange- their way to the union office. we set out for a trek through a he provided entertainment by ment at some Horn from They, were greeted by the cow field and arrived at the swiftly having his nose pul- Camborne football and sight of Enrico in the early Camborne ground. Camborne verised by some thug. Bigg announced Henrys engage- stages of a nervous break- were training nearby, a spying Dave had an argument with a ment, which was news to him. down. Spirits were high as the party was sent out, and Henry concrete post an came off Balson entertained the local RSM were on their way to set the tone for the day by worse, any sympathy from the ladies, to put it mildly. We humiliate a bunch of Cornish abusing the Camborne cap- ladies would be appreciated. drank some more there were retards - Camborne School of tain Sideshow Bob. The crowd Some inbred surf boy stamped some fireworks and then it all Mines - for the sixth year in a arrived and the game was on Henry and was sent off, Flo went a bit hazy. On the way row. about to start live on Cornish desperate to hit the dance back Mr Nigeria "found" some We settled on to the coach, radio and taped for masses, as floor scored, then deciding cigars, the bus Withers tried and were introduced to Dean, unfortunately the TV has not that was not in the constitu- to dismantle the bus, Brewster our driver for the weekend, yet reached Camborne. Segun tion Enrico rattled one in. tried to grope anything that and no sooner had we reached punched a few doors in prepa- What a surprise, we won moved. Much food was stolen Queens Gate, Jim "Theratio n for a Camborne players again the final score 17-29 to from the service station, and Panther" Mccuscker produced head. The game started, the RSM. that's all I can remember. a pom stash that would rival Segun got an early try which The drinking began in Victory bar-night ensued and the contents of any Soho sex resulted in the RSM propagan- earnest, Henry was live on we think Nightingale got tied shop. Somewhere near Exeter, da minister Brewster bursting the radio, a star in the making. up somewhere, but who cares. Flo decided that everyone was into life and announcing to the We went to a dinner, where Ambo journalism incorporated in need of a bit of light enter- masses that Camborne had tainment, Light it wasn't, cracked. They had cracked, Dean couldn't keep his eyes on into their ringers... the road and the bus swerved A few tactical substitutions Open Invitation wildly across the motorway, later and Camborne were 45 (think two marrows being stone heavier in the pack, but The Union will be hosting an open discussion led forced in a smarties tube). We they couldn't do anything to arrived in Newquay to drop off halt the black magic, and The by the Union President, Sen Ganesh, concerning the Homosexual footballers Angel Gabriel ran in a try or the evening activities held at the Union. and associated riff raffso they two. A passing seagull picked could go drinking. The real up the ball and dropped it over This will be held in the meeting room 7B in men arrived at the panty-cel- the RSM posts giving the the lower level of the East Wing of the Union lyn's sister hotel (ask geology inbreds 3 points. Building, Beit Quad, l-2pm, Monday, March 4. 3) and settled in for the night. At some point in the first A Chinese and a game of half Segun broke his shoulder Opinions are being sought on the nights held arrows later, people went to but didn't notice until Sunday. at the Union; especially the type, frequency, costs bed, but not before Rhys had Who knows what the score and variety, among any other concerns you may squeezed in a sly pint or two. was or when the tries were Those that had not suc- scored, but half-time arrived. have about the Union. Some wag from Camborne cumbed to hypothermia dur- All are welcome, whether you come to the ing the night rose for breakfast tried to streak, but he hadn't and were served by the bargained for the Northern Union often or not at all. Your opinion matters. Cornish female wrestling streaking king in the RSM champion, and a training ses- crowd. The Ginger prince Don imperial sion later and we were ready Juan de Christian burst from for action. The drive to the crowd and chased away college Camborne was accompanied the Cornish pervert before union being floored by a back injury. by Chin-Choi's musical collec- Work for yourself. Work at the Union... The display of pasty flesh put tion to get in the mood, and a ...and make a difference to your social life. brief stop at Tescos resulted in the RSM boys out of synch for club active

Ultimate National Championships

The first game for Discdoctors They were commanding seeding of 13th, and also sudden death. After numer- was against the lowest seed, throughout the game, and guaranteed a top eight finish. ous nervous errors from both Exeter, and Discdoctors took although Doctors were full of The party went along with teams resulting in a number the game comfortably, 6-1, effort, and played some good the Doctors team, as usual at of turnovers, and a difficult but were not in full swing by ultimate, the better team won the centre of attention. Well, situation with some music, the arrival of the second game comfortably, Glasgow taking perhaps not. At least we all Bears eventually took the against the Lancaster, and the game 7-4 had a nice sleep and were rar- win. the game was lost 6-4. This The next game was against a ing to go the next day. After this disappointment, game appeared to wake strong Ow! side from Oxford, The quarterfinal was against Discdoctors played against Doctors up, who then played and ended in a 7-7 drawleav- the oldest club in the country, Leeds. The spirit of the team against the home team, ing Doctors with a 3-2-1 the Warwick Bears. was very low, and a poor per- Loughborough. After the pre- record, and a following match Discdoctors were very fired formance meant Leeds took vious weekend's demolish- against Portsmouth. Doctors' up for this game, as were the the game comfortably. ing, Doctors wanted nemesis once again threw opposition. Discdoctors were The 7th-8th place match was vengeance. In a tight game, their zone and killed off the on defence first, and man- then against Cardiff. The with some difficult calls, Doctors' offense. Doctors aged to force a turnover and game was played in a very Doctors managed to keep heads dropped, and sublime get the crucial break point. light-hearted manner, as both Haze to a low score, and took the game easily, 6-2. Another point followed, and teams were disappointed not eventually took the game 3-2. Due to a very close group, the Discdoctors were looking to be in the top four. So, final- Sheffield were the next oppo- final result of the first round good. Bears managed to get ly, Discdoctors ended up 8th nents, and the Doctors turned put Doctors in third place in back to 2-2, and from there in the country. Well done to them over 8-4. The following the pool, now seeded 6th the teams traded points. It Glasgow, the worthy winners game was against tourna- overall. This was a dramatic was 6-6 at the end of time, of the competition. ment favourites, Glasgow. improvement on their initial and so the game went into Tim

Live sport Dancesport on the BIG SCREEN

The IC Dance Team arrived in and Sarah. As for the Opens, Reading for the Southern Ellis and Indika won the Saturday 2nd March Universities Dance Advanced Latin and the Newcastle v Arsenal 12pm Champion-ships, ready for award for 'the couple show- battle against the rest of the ing the most promise as voted Six nations rugby union Big Three (i.e. us, Oxford and for by the judges' (or some- Cambridge). We arrived early thing along those lines). France v England 2pm and everyone had a full £2 Special congratulations to Ireland v Scotland 4pm breakfast courtesy of 'the big Ashoke and Bryony for win- ASDA', which could perhaps ning the Novice Ballroom . justify the good atmosphere The Team event went well, Sunday 3rd March and hence our good results with every mixed final having that day... at least one IC couple (2 in the Derby v Man. United 4pm For the first time this sea- Jive, Waltz and Quickstep). son, our Beginners managed We didn't win a team trophy to outnumber Oxford in their this time round but it was still Tuesday 5th March Latin section of the competi- a good day (which was meas- tion with 3 of 5 finalists in the ured by the amount of Blackburn if Villa 8pm Jive and 2 of 5 in the Cha. Two singing, or screeching, couples also managed to get depending on who you talk to, into the finals of the generated on the coach the Wednesday 6th March Beginners Ballroom, so all in way back). There's IVDA in all, well done to Phong and two weeks, guys and gals, Liverpool v Newcastle 8pm Gait, Philip and Annelise, and we KNOW we're good _ _ .V-: " imperial Tom and Jo, Konrad and enough to beat 'Watford'. 1 e e Ground floor, Beit Quad '££ l!, 9 Melissa, as well as Simon CP Prince Consort Road BARS