GENERAL ELECTION 2005 - Varsity meets all your parliamentary candidates -PAGES 4 & 5 - Your Vote: Comment & Analysis -PAGES 5, 10, 18

- Howard Flight, Tessa Jowell & Lord McNally -PAGES 4 & 5

No. 619 The Independent Cambridge Student Newspaper since 1947 Friday April 29, 2005 Six undergraduates arrested over “serious sexual assault” in Girton Varsity exclusively reveals allegations of student attack during the early hours of March 17th

Varsity News Reporter end-of-term bop with the title morning of the 17th and have crime scene. been careful to keep the inci- tioned by the police. They of “Rumble in the Jungle”, now been released on bail. The incident is alleged to dent discreet. No announce- have since been released on organised on March 16th by The individuals accused have occured during the early ment of the event has yet been bail pending further question- POLICE OFFICERS are the Girton College JCR. were seen returning to Girton hours in central Girton made to Girton students. ing at a later date.” investigating a report of a very Varsity has chosen not to dis- during the early hours of the College accommodation. Cambridge University Press The six male individuals serious sexual assault alleged close the names of the under- 17th wearing police overalls, Neighbouring students were Office confirmed that have been bailed to return to to have taken place in Girton graduate victim or those of his creating speculation that their particularly shocked at the “Cambridgeshire police were Parkside Police Station on College during the early hours six alleged male attackers. clothes had been confiscated fact that the event is said to called to an alleged incident at Thursday May 5th. In the of Thursday March 17th. Three 18-year-olds, two for forensic examination. have occurred in a room on a Girton College in the early meantime they have returned The incident is described as 19-year-olds and a 20-year Reports describe a very busy corridor. hours of Thursday 17th to continue studies at Girton. having occurred in an under- old, were arrested in connec- heavy police presence, with up Girton College and the March. A number of students The police investigation con- graduate room following an tion with the incident on the to 3 police cars arriving at the University Press Office have were arrested and were ques- tinues. Liberal Democrat leader Charles Kennedy visits Cambridge - Editorial p.11 RAG auction to make history Anna McIlreavy collectible item,” he said, “it is a piece of history – it has been CAMBRIDGE RAG is set to signed by every US champion for make history this term with the last 38 years.” Signed albums, the biggest RAG event ever to signed football shirts and mas- take place in the city. A one- sage sessions are also up for grabs. off charity auction is scheduled RAG are trying to involve the to break fundrasising records entire university in this massive when it takes place at the event. Special guests yet to be Union on 28 May. announced, along with famous Auction Organiser Chris alumni and local MPs, will be Griffiths explained, “RAG present. wanted to create an event that This year Cambridge RAG raises donations, but also gives hopes to raise up to £120,000, something back to all the sup- exceeding all previous years. porters.” An outstanding list Cambridge’s Vice-Chancellor of items up for auction will has expressed support, saying ensure that there is “something that “Cambridge University for everyone” at the event. excels in a far broader range of Items up for auction can be ways than it is often credited viewed, and bid for in advance, with. For this reason, when I at the RAG website. was told that the students were Sought-after items will organising the largest charity include pairs of tickets to various auction that there has ever been Cambridge May Balls such as the in the city, I wanted to write this elusive Trinity, Magdalene and message encouraging everybody John’s doubles. Other items set to involved with Cambridge to cause a stir include the Christie’s offer their support.” Come and leather-bound Princess Diana join in the auction action at the catalogue, one of only 250 copies Union on 28 May, or look on worldwide. In the past this been the website for previews and to sold for up to £100,000. Chris place bids: Griffiths predicted that the high- est-selling item would be a www.cambridgeauction.co.uk. signed US Open flag. “This is a

KEEP YOUR TROUSERS ON PAGE 2 AWARD WINNING WC PAGE 3 TAKING FLIGHT PAGE 8 ARCHIE BLAND PAGE 10 MAY BALL PREVIEWS PAGE 14 VARSITY FOOTBALL REPORT PAGE 31 OTHER RACE OTHER PLACE PAGE 32 2 NEWS April 29, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk

News In Brief Hughes Hall transforms Fenner’s

ll Graduation kilt ban we LITERARY FESTIVAL

y Bar Joe Gosden fully enforced before. ‘The underlying reason for the

Two of the University’s liter- Luc The tightening of regulations graduation ceremony is that you ary authors joined a wealth LAST MONTH the University extends to prohibit all forms of become a member of Cambridge of other literary talent at the banned the wearing of kilts at national dress as well as military University, whether you are a cambridgewordfest, an graduation ceremonies. The uniforms, although exemptions Scottish member, a New annual literary festival which move has angered many, includ- are made for religious dress. Zealand member or an Army took place in last weekend. ing the Scottish Deputy First According to a spokesman ‘the one, you are all members of Clare Fellow John Guy, Minister and Cambridge gradu- Praelectors found that recently Cambridge University.’ who won the Whitbread ate Jim Wallace, who con- the breaches of their regula- Despite these reassurances, Biography of the Year for his demned the ban, saying ‘instead tions had become more prolific anger remained rife amongst My Heart Is My Own: The of clamping down they should and extreme and asked if they members of Cambridge’s Life of Mary Queen of Scots be more flexible.’ could allow [the regulations] to Scottish student population, appeared at the festival The move met with cross- be enforced.’ some even stating that they alongside the author of the party condemnation from north The move is ‘not an outright would rather arrive in a kilt and critically-acclaimed The of the border; the Scottish ban’ and the University be turned away than graduate Icarus Girl, Helen Oyeyemi, Conservative MP for Glasgow explained that it ‘remained the wearing trousers and a tie. an SPS student at Corpus describing the move as ‘total and responsibility of each college’s Cambridge’s new stance on Christi college. utter nonsense’ and the SNP Praelector when presenting stu- the correct attire for graduation Other literary figures who Home Affairs spokesman Kenny dents for graduation to ensure is paralleled by the University of appeared at the festival MacAskill calling it ‘petty and that all students are presented Oxford where no allowance is included the Poet Laureate very narrow-minded.’ correctly.’ A spokesman went on made for the wearing of nation- Andrew Motion, writer Cambridge defended its to say that inappropriately al dress. Durham, however, take Fergal Keane and novelists decision, saying the dress code attired students ‘wouldn’t neces- the opposite view and allow the Graham Swift and Hilary had always existed - stipulat- sarily be turned away, but it ‘substitution of an HM Armed Mantel. Alison Richard on a visit to the £9 million new addition to Hughes ing trousers and ties for men would be traditional for some Forces uniform or national dress’ Hall’s residential buildings, which opened this week. and dresses or suits for women sort of fine to be imposed on the as long as it ‘remains appropriate - but that it had never been Praelector of their college. for the occasion’. COCO’S REVAMP

Coco’s nightclub is about to embark on a major project of Cam bands busk refurbishment following a Animal rights change of management. The new interior will include a Chine Mbubaegbu strokes induced, the tops of Niccie Simpson stage for live music and an their skulls sawn off and had extension of the second- THE LEGALITY of animal been left unattended for a peri- A MASS busk took place floor balcony. The ground experimentation by Cambridge od of up to 15 hours. Saturday to help the promote the y Phillips floor will be transformed University is now allowed to be Justice Burnton’s decision cambridgebands.com CD launch. Luc into a spacious ‘lounge bar’ scrutinised by anti-vivisection- granted BUAV the permission Busking began at 12.45 in for use during the day. A ists. The British Union for the to question the legal standing of various locations around new indie night is also Abolition of Vivisection a government verdict two years Cambridge, including Parker’s expected to be in the offing. (BUAV) gained permission to ago. This verdict had accepted a Piece and the Grafton Centre, seek a judicial review against report conducted by the Chief and later culminated in a main the University’s experimenta- Inspector of Animals, Dr Jon ‘jam’ involving all the bands out- MONGOLIA TRIP tion after a hearing. Richmond, which had gone in side the Guildhall. Bands that The recent hearing was the University’s favour. played included Badwell Ash, President of the Cambridge presided over by Mr Justice BUAV’s success, however, Modal Monks, Free hope, University Mountaineering Stanley Burnton at London’s was tempered by the judge’s Logan and The Shivers. Club Alan Dickinson is High Court, who granted the decision to accept only three of The day was organised by planning a seven-week expe- animal rights group the go- the anti-vivisection group’s Phil Pethybridge, of local music dition to Mongolia this sum- ahead. During the course of an claims, whilst rejecting three promotions company Hope mer, with the intention of undercover investigation lasting further claims of animal cruelty. Street Music, and Joel Clayton climbing the country’s high- 10 months, BUAV acquired a A University spokesperson of cambridgebands.com. est peak before attempting number of secret documents responded to the verdict of the Pethybridge described the day Buskers outside the Guildhall in Cambridge centre. several first ascents of previ- which revealed that animal hearing, saying: ‘Research meth- as a ‘success’, with up to 150 ously-unclimbed mountains. rights laws put in place to pro- ods are continually evolving and people watching the main busk. mote themselves. It hopes to be base, although only 20 of these More details and informa- tect animals in the University’s while scientists and medical Cambridgebands.com is an the first place on the web to feature on the CD. tion on sponsorship at laboratories were not being researchers aim to reduce work organisation which aims to pro- which Cambridge bands will go The official launch of the www.srcf.ucam.org/mongolia. implemented properly. Animal involving animals to a minimum, vide the already thriving music for advice and contacts, and also CD took place last night at the rights abuses discovered during some of this work must continue scene of Cambridge with an provides information for local Junction, and it is available to this undercover investigation if we are to make essential life- online facility through which promoters and venues. There are buy through the website cam- CAMBRIDGE SECOND included monkeys who had had saving advances in medicine.’ local bands can meet and pro- currently 249 bands in the data- bridgebands.com. PLACE

Cambridge has slipped to second place behind Oxford in the Guardian’s annual University League Table Oxford Ltd published this month. NUS financial crisis Cambridge faculties which came top of their categories Natasha Anders of the problems we already 06 financial year, it predicts a Charlotte Keane Davis, managing director of included Engineering, have. It’s the one [plan] I’ve deficit of £518,000. Oxford Limited, said: ‘A little Classics, Modern Languages THE NATIONAL Union of been pushing.’ Martin Ings believes the OXFORD UNIVERSITY has while ago commercial was in the and Architecture. Students is experiencing a mas- It is possible to view the union problem stems from students found a novel way to make same part of the Oxford English sive financial crisis, standing at accounts online before the NUS spending less in the union when money: merchandising. It is hop- Dictionary as prostitution at this nearly £700,000 in the red. conference next week in they go out, leaving the unions ing to find a ready market for a university.’ The university is now OZONE DANGER The NUS is currently trying Blackpool. Last year, the union struggling to pay their fees: wide range of products that will courting companies by sending to develop a ‘rescue package’ to ended the financial year with a ‘Students aren’t spending as bear the Oxford name; ranging them brand licensing packs that Cambridge scientists have help reduce this debt and a debt of £491,000. In light of much money as they used to, nor from scientific toys and games to allow them to ‘exploit the quin- released dramatic new fig- money-making scheme involv- this, it was forced to introduce a do they have the time to go out champagne and baby clothes. tessential British heritage of the ures showing large-scale ing current NUS discount cards major overhaul which involved as much…..When student Oxford trademarked its crest university arms.’ The university’s ozone losses over the will also be introduced. At the scaling down its annual confer- unions are struggling they have in 1993 and currently makes departments will be brought in to Atlantic in the past winter. moment, all students receive ence, selling its London head- to cut the big cost, and that’s £400,000 annually from licensing use their expertise developing 50% of the ozone was this card for free which can be quarters and moving the bulk of their affiliation cost.’ its use. It is hoped that this will products but sceptics are not con- destroyed at altitudes of used to obtain discounts; the its operations to Manchester. The conference held in rise to around £5 million per vinced. John Williamson, of around 18km. These are the new card will be an NUS Extra This financial year, the union Blackpool will also include the annum within five years under brand consultants Wolff Olins, lowest levels since records card, costing ten pounds, which now faces a deficit of £677,000, NUS elections, running from the new scheme. Oxford said: ‘Is flogging academic toys an began. will entitle students to better which includes £210,000 spent Tuesday to Thursday next Limited has been set up as a sub- appropriate action for an august discounts on travel, shops etc. on the move to Manchester and week. Delegates from univer- sidiary and its stated aim is to institution of this nature? This Mr Ings, treasurer of the NUS, the extra costs of rent in London sities all over the UK will vote exploit commercially ‘the knowl- should be one of the most exclu- defends the costs of such a card: after the relocation was post- on Wednesday to decide who edge, skills and crest of the sive brands in the world. I think ‘It would help us to address a lot poned for a year. For the 2005- takes the posts. University of Oxford’. Mike it’s absolute rubbish.’ NEWS www.varsity.co.uk April 29, 2005 3 Israeli uni boycott Sex and the Union

Amy Goodwin students and Arabs in general. that the NUS ‘in no way supports ll You cannot talk about academic the principles behind any boycott we THE ASSOCIATION of freedom and free debate in Israel of Israeli academics. International University Teachers has faced in the same way you can talk academics have a lot to offer edu- y Bar

sharp criticism over the last week about it in the UK, or in almost cation in the UK and a boycott of Luc after its members voted in favour any other country in the world’. this specific country is neither of a boycott of Israeli universities The boycott aims to ‘add to the helpful nor justified, and in protest at their alleged involve- pressure on the country’s econo- extremely worrying. We’ve ment in the government’s policy my and dent its international expressed our concerns to the towards Palestinians. The motion prestige’, to send a ‘message of AUT and we are awaiting clarifi- passed against the wishes of the support to students and col- cation from them on the exact AUT executive and effects the leagues in Palestine’, and to act as nature of this policy and its severing of links with two univer- ‘consciousness-raising’ for British potential impact on the academic sities, Haifa and Bar Ilan. These academics. These aims have been community.” Some British aca- institutions have been accused of described by Danny Stone of the demics have already withdrawn colluding in a system of Union of Jewish Students as their AUT membership and the ‘apartheid’ which persecutes both ‘hugely offensive to Israel’s pride’. union may face a legal challenge Palestinians and those who He claimed that the boycott over the boycott because of racial oppose the Israeli state. endangers the ‘major part’ that and religious discrimination laws Sue Blackwell, an English lec- Israeli academics currently have in place in British universities. turer at Birmingham University in world scientific research and The Israeli ambassador described who was one of the delegates will encourage ‘a wider rift’. himself as ‘amazed and disturbed’ most involved in pushing for the The potentially ‘racist and dis- by developments. boycott, stated that ‘Israeli aca- criminatory’ nature of the boycott The AUT is not a recognized demics are routinely implicated was also noted by Stone. NUS union within Cambridge in racist discourses against Arab President Kat Fletcher stated University. Top position for Rees Lucy Phillips prize for science communication and this year he was given the SIR MARTIN Rees, Master of Royal Swedish Academy’s Trinity College and Professor of Crafoord prize, which is the Cosmology and Astrophysics, equivalent of the Nobel prize in has been nominated as the new astronomy. President of the Royal Society. It A spokesperson for the Royal will be the first time in the acad- Society paid tribute to the status: Andrew Poole a quadriplegic in her West End down the SATC role because emy’s 100 year history that an “Effectively being president debut ‘Whose Life Is It she thought that she was too astronomer takes the top job. makes you the leader of the UK KIM CATTRALL, best known Anyway?’, which ends its success- old. Sir Martin, who is 62, is scientific community. Becoming for her portrayal of the character ful run this week. Although the Ms Cattrall also declared that expected to succeed Lord May of a fellow of the royal society is like Samantha in TV series ‘Sex in the part was originally scripted for a she is not scared of being typecast Oxford who completes his 5 year a scientific knighthood and City,’ came to the Cambridge man, Ms Cattrall welcomed as a strong, sexy and confident term on 30 November this year. becoming president is the leading Union on Wednesday. the chance to play an astute, woman: the star of ‘Porky’s,’ The appointment will be con- individual within that scientific She answered questions on her full-blooded and resilient ‘Mannequin’ and ‘Police firmed by the 1,250 strong coun- community.” life and career to a mainly female woman, able to express herself Academy,’ regards the open cil of fellows in mid July. There have been 58 presidents audience. The Q&A session was only from her bed. Explicit in expression of sexuality and the Sir Martin, has received sever- of the Royal society since it was hosted by the Union’s Senior her belief that women had the pride and confidence of one’s al awards in the UK and abroad founded in 1660, include Officer, Sarah Pobereskin. and ‘right to choose,’ she also sup- own, as extremely important. She and has been English Christopher Wren, Samuel was also broadcast to the over- ported the play’s stance on explores both in a documentary Astronomer royal since 1995. Pepys, Isaac Newton, Joseph flow of punters in the Union bar. euthanasia. (broadcast in June on Channel 4) Last year he was awarded the Banks, Humphry Davy, Ernest The 48 year old discussed her The Liverpool-born star and book (out September), both Royal Society’s Michael Faraday Rutherford and William Bragg. current critically acclaimed role as admitted that she twice turned entitled ‘Sexual Intelligence.’ Prize-winning pissoirs on Parker’s Piece New development at Girton library

ll Emily Newman archives, the extension also During the opening the we houses specialist book collec- University’s VC Professor Alison LAST SATURDAY saw the tions including the private Richard, spoke of the importance y Bar opening of a £2.5 million addi- library of Mary Somerville. of such libraries in “the transmis-

Luc tion to the Girton College The material relates to sion of knowledge between the library, the Duke Building. The debates and events associated generations”. She emphasised the college has an extensive collection with the increasing access of role the development would play of records and personal papers women to university life. in allowing cross-talk between documenting the changes in the Senior Tutor Alison Duke “mathematicians and musicians, status of women over the cen- gave a significant donation to physicists and philosophers at turies. In addition to the college the project. every level.” Coming soon: Don Air Cassell Carter dents, and will operate a free increased destinations or with shuttle bus between the airports larger planes. AN 18 YEAR old entrepreneur and the centre of the towns, The airline is aimed at aca- has created an airline company to totalling a 70 minute journey. demics, businessmen and stu- fly passengers between Hailed as the next Richard dents who travel regularly Cambridge and Oxford. The Branson, Halstead is still training between the two cities as well as New public toilets built at Gonville Place in Cambridge have been awarded a top architectural prize journey between the two cities to become a commercial pilot. tourists. The environmental ben- at the city’s annual design awards. currently takes two and a half Alpha 1 will operate two efits are considerable - seven peo- The state-of-the-art buildings situated near Parker’s Piece, designed by Cambridge firm Freeland hours by train, costing around return flights each day ple opting to drive rather than fly Rees Roberts received a prestigious design award at the David Urwin Design Awards, held at the £35, or two hours by car. Martin between the cities’ local air- would use over 50% more fuel. Cambridge Forum for the Construction Industry annual dinner at King’s earlier this month. Halstead’s Alpha 1 Airways fields using four eight-seater The company has encountered The panel of judges described the building as ‘striking’, while Cllr John Hipkin has praised the offers a journey of just 20 min- planes. With the venture’s “teething problems” with the flair with which [Freeland Rees Roberts Architects] have designed the public toilets. utes, a possibility which has not expected success and £1 mil- online booking system, and so the David Urwin Design Awards were also won by streetscape work carried out at Senate House Hill been available since the 1930s. lion of investment, he plans to expected launch date of 18 April in King’s Parade and the Millennium Garden in Norfolk Street. The flight will cost £49 each expand and operate the service has been pushed back to the end Oliver Tilley way, with a £5 reduction for stu- more frequently, with of May. (see www.flyalpha1.com) 4 ELECTION SPECIAL April 29, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk

Anne Campbell Labour Ian Lyon Conservative David Howarth Lib Dem Cambridge student vote man- with...and we essentially £2,000. Under our system, more ifesto: “I’ve taken a great believe that education should money goes towards higher edu- interest in student issues over be free at the point of delivery cation than Labour. Inherently, the years and I’ve successfully from the beginning, wherever students would be better off fought for more money into that may be, to the end of your under our system. Debts would be the science budget. I’ve spent first degree.” lower, and lower income students around 200 hours during my Is it inevitable that Oxford will be best off of all. We think time in Parliament studying and Cambridge will follow that higher earners should pay for and lobbying on issues of the American system and it. The money will come from a higher education.” become privatised? “No. No it higher rate of tax – 50% on all Is it inevitable that Oxford isn’t inevitable. It’s only income over £100,000. 82% of and Cambridge will follow inevitable if the current gov- higher income tax payers went to the American system and ernment join in the US’s trend university, so I don’t think they become privatised? to try to fund universities can complain.” “I very much hope not. If we from other sources than from Is it inevitable that Oxford and hadn’t put a new financial the state.” Cambridge will follow the Age:65 structure in place –the Higher Age:42 Did you come out of universi- Age:47 American system and become Family: Married, 3 children, 5 Education Act gave £1 billion Family: Married, a seven year old ty with debt? “I’ve still got it. I Family: Married with two privatised? “No, it’s not grandchildren to universities- that may have daughter left university in 1985 with a teenage sons inevitable. I’m not a fan of the Education: Penastone been the case. Oxford would Education: Music Scholar at debt of £6500, and I’ve run an Education: Queen Mary’s idea that what happens in Grammar School, Sheffield; have been first and Charterhouse; Choral Scholar at overdraft ever since.” Grammar School, Walsall; Clare America must happen in Britain. Newnham College, Cambridge might have been Trinity College, Cambridge Favourite Cambridge pub: College, Cambridge; Yale Law All universities need to find mul- Cambridge forced to follow.” Employment: MP; currently The Eagle Employment: Law and tiple methods of funding – some Employment: MP; Head of Did you come out of universi- runs own business for profes- How many Cambridge col- Economics lecturer at Cambridge of which will be state and some of Statistics and Data Processing ty with debt? sional classical concert and opera leges are there? 28 University and Fellow of Clare which will be non-state. In at the National Institute of Yes, but it would seem small singers; worked in the Financial Do you think that the dis- Hobbies:Squash and running. Britain, up until now, we’ve had a Agricultural Botany in now; £50 to £100. I paid it off Services Industry; missal of Howard Flight was Member of Amnesty commitment to free education Cambridge; Secondary school quite quickly. Hobbies: word games, cross- justified, and if so why? “Yes. International and Friends of the and because of that the state mathematics teacher; Senior Favourite Cambridge pub: words, classical music, opera, He had been reminded on Earth. should always be a major source lecturer in Statistics at The Carlton in Arbury philately (stamp-collecting) numerous occasions that his Describe yourself in 3 words:“I of funding of teaching. Cambridgeshire College of How many Cambridge col- Describe yourself in 3 words: views, although legitimate in can’t. When you get to my age, Did you come out of university Arts and Technology (now leges are there? 28 or 29 confident, personable, good- their own right, were not the three words isn’t enough. Or it’s with debt? “No.The culture that I Anglia Polytechnic Blair or Brown: “Tony Blair looking political mainstream views of also too much.” grew up in was so afraid of debt University) has done a lot of good Teenage role model: My father the Conservative party, and it Teenage role model: Max Weber, that I would have been discour- Hobbies: tennis, gardening, things…..but I am a great Most admired political figure(s): is wrong to represent them as John Stuart Mill – “I started off as aged from coming here and guid- walking, eating out admirer of Brown and think Margaret Thatcher, “because she anything other than his own.” a Millian liberal.” ed towards a different future.” Describe yourself in 3 words: Blair should now make way for broke a mould.” Is the Conservative election Most admired political figure: Favourite Cambridge pub:“I left, compassionate, green him.” If your party did not exist, who campaign being fought on the Garibaldi, Lloyd George, have just discovered the Boat Teenage role model: Barbara Is Blair a liability to the would you vote for? “I would go faults of Tony Blair, rather Gladstone , Nelson Mandela and House. For ten years, I represent- Castle Labour party’s campaign? “All to the polling station and vote than the merits of Michael Jesse Jackson. “Very few British ed Castle Ward on the City Most admired political fig- lead politicians have to take a ‘None of the above’.” Howard? “It’s a positive cam- politicians.” Council and so pubon Castle Hill ure(s): Patricia Hewitt, Robin lot of flack and I don’t think he Cambridge student vote mani- paign based on the realisation If your party did not exist, who are also good and have got bet Cook is any more unpopular than festo: “I represent a party which of the faults of the way in would you vote for? The Greens over the years.” If your party did not exist, most prime ministers after two is determined to abolish top-up which things are being run at Cambridge student manifesto: How many Cambridge colleges who would you vote for? terms in government.” fees and tuition fees, with a pos- the moment.” “We would abolish all fees and are there? 30 Greens Lucy Phillips itive plan of what to replace it Niccie Simpson reintroduce grants of up to Chine Mbubaegbu Martin Lucas-Smith Green Tom Woodcock Respect Helene Davis UKIP tackling issues which the Greens thing as the average Cambridge and against joining an EU represent. There’s no such thing student. But I think there’s a lot Constitution; the government as a wasted vote. You should vote of people here who agree with us has already relinquished con- for who you believe in.” that there’s something drastically trol of our institutions to an Is it inevitable that Oxford wrong with the political system undemocratic association, and Cambridge will follow the and the free market economics namely the EU…..It is being American system and become that we’ve got in this country. driven by politicians eager for privatised?: “It’s not Is it inevitable that Oxford and more power and more inevitable. I think there’s still a Cambridge will follow the money….. When the power public services based ethos at American system and become has been lost it will never Cambridge. But I think the privatised? If things keep going come back.” top-up fees issue will have an the way they are. But I really Is it inevitable that Oxford impact. Oxford and don’t want to see it as an and Cambridge will follow the Cambridge are already clam- inevitability. American system and become ouring for the £3,000 cap to be Did you come out of university privatised? “I hope not. I raised and I think in 5 to 10 with debt? Yes, £6000, although I hope they keep their inde- Age: 27. years it will be.” Age: 29 (‘Frightening. I feel worked all the way through. Age:57 pendence. Privatisation does- Education: State grammar Did you come out of university about fifteen’) Favourite Cambridge pub: The Family: separated, 3 children n’t help anyone. Big business- school in Kingston, Surrey, then with debt?: “Yes and no. I’ve Education: state school in Flying Pig Education: St Thomas es taking over our universities King’s College Cambridge. only just reached a salary where Cambridge, communications and How many Cambridge colleges Secondary Modern, Exeter; would be very dangerous.” Employment: Website developer I have to pay anything. It’s film studies at University of East are there? 42? Exeter Technical College; Favourite Cambridge pub: in the Geography department at about £6,000 - luckily I was in London On his opponents in Cambridge: Exeter College of Art “As a non-smoker I like The Cambridge University. the last year cohort that still Employment: has taught in Sharing a platform with them is Employment: Clinical coder Free Press.” Hobbies: “Music. I am a keen had maintenance grants and Cambridge ‘across the education like sitting in a children’s play- at Addenbrookes Hospital How many Cambridge colleges cyclist. Going out? I suppose didn’t have to pay tuition fees.” system’, college governor. room when they’re throwing toys Hobbies: amateur mycology are there? “I don’t know.” Agent that’s not a hobby is it?” Favourite Cambridge pub: Hobbies: film fanatic (has man- at each other (leader of fungus study group says 34 (correct answer) Describe yourself in 3 words: “The Rose and Crown, a gay aged a cinema, worked as a pro- On the general election: The Melbourn Mushroom Club), On the Euro:“A clause within “Can I have two? A ‘pragmatic pub on Market Road. It’s clos- jectionist and in production), media’s set a ridiculous agenda in folk singing and rock climb- the draft Constitution states that radical’. I think extreme radical- ing down soon, which is a real football, building, gardening, eat- order to disguise the real issues, ing. the currency of Europe shall be ism is too often alienating to the shame.” ing and talking when it should have been about Describe yourself in 3 words: the euro’. If we join the electorate.” How many Cambridge colleges Describe yourself in 3 words: poverty at home and abroad and adventurous, idealistic, patri- Constitution, we are therefore Teenage role model: Andrew are there? “31.” optimistic, idealistic, ‘sad’ (‘I’m holding the government to otic agreeing to adopt the euro.” Haydan-Smith. Do you think that if the green not really a pub person any account. If your party did not exist, On the BNP: “There is a wide Most admired political figure(s): party had a more conventional more’) On the main parties: They’re who would you vote for? The misconception that UKIP is like “Can I have two? George party structure (with a clear Teenage role model: Keith Moon effectively a coalition. The Tories Conservatives the BNP, but we stand for com- Monbiot and Peter Tatchell.” hierarchy and defined leader) it from The Who aren’t really fussed as they’ve got Teenage role model: The pletely different things; we are If your party did not exist, who would be better placed to gain Most admired political figure(s): their own Prime Minister in Beatles not racist.” would you vote for?: “Either the more votes?: “There has been a Chavez (President of Venezuela) Blair. Most admired political fig- On the war: “We should never Lib Dems or one of the smaller lot of debate about this in the If your party did not exist, who On exams: I don’t believe in ure(s): Tony Benn, Lord have gone to war, it was all to do left-wing parties like Respect.” Green party. Personally I don’t would you vote for? Martin them, full stop Pearson of Rannoch with oil.” Cambridge student vote mani- really care, I think the issues Lucas Smith (Green) Cambridge credentials: Used to Cambridge student mani- Helene rides a Honda 125cc. festo: “A vote for the Greens and campaigning on the ground Why should the average DJ in Po Na Na and worked in festo: “UKIP strongly opposes She admits to stopping to res- sends a message to the larger par- are the main issues. Cambridge student vote for the catering department at plans for an elected East of cue hedgehogs, toads and frogs ties that we should do more in Oliver Tilley you?: I don’t think there’s such a Clare. Amy Goodwin England Regional Assembly in the road. LP ELECTION SPECIAL www.varsity.co.uk April 29, 2005 5

Graham Wilkinson INDEPENDENT Suzon Forscey-Moore INDEPENDENT bikes, computing, fixing cars, telling me what to do…a universal Employment: campaigner privatisation:“I’ve already playing guitar. benefits scheme which is not and researcher in law seen a lot of Americanisation Describe yourself in 3 words: means tested…simplifying our tax Describe yourself in 3 words: take place in this country and optimistic, busy, perceptive system. I don’t like material principaled, dedicated, egali- it is difficult to see it coming Teenage role model: Steve wealth. I don’t believe in inheri- tarian to a halt. Unfortunately bad McQueen tance tax. I am unhappy about the Teen role model: Elena American ideas seem to trav- Most admired political figure: billions spent on the wars in Roosevelt el better than good ones.” Ghandi Afghanistan and Iraq.” Most admired political fig- Did you come out of univer- If you could not run as an inde- Did you come out of university ure: Franklin D Roosevelt sity with any debt? “Yes. pendent candidate, who would with debt? “No, but I still couldn’t If you could not stand as an When I left Pitzer I had you vote for? “The Greens. I don’t afford a house until I was 25. I independent candidate, around £15 000 which I paid like globalisation. I couldn’t vote don’t think going to university has which party would you vote off but right now I have more for any of the big parties and at made me any richer.” for? Greens than £50 000 accumulated the moment I find the Favourite Cambridge pub: Cambridge student mani- from my Masters degree in Age: 38 Conservatives more irritating than Wetherspoons Age:66 festo: “I would like every per- law.” Family: married, 2 cats Labour. UKIP have fairly similar How many Cambridge colleges Family: 3 sons son in this country to be Favourite pub in Cambridge: Education: Langleybury School, views to me but I don’t like the are there? “I can name 7 (incluing Education: James town high important to the people in The Free Press Hunton Bridge; Kent University name.” ‘King’s Hall), but there are proba- School, New York; Pitzer power everyday, not just once How many Cambridge col- Employment: software engineer, Cambridge student manifesto: bly 9.” LP College, Claremont; De every four years.” leges are there? 30 ARM Limited “As an independent I can vote in Montfort, Leicester On Oxbridge LP Hobbies: fish-keeping, motor- parliament without a chief whip ELECTION 2005 COMMENT At the ballot box JAMES DACRE

lease sit down, you can best-run and most impressive of election. Often cited for her alle- and less about delivery as we the stuff it wanted to do consistent four times about the birth of his talk to Mr Blair after- the student political parties, it has giance to Tony Blair, she is an realise that many politicians are all with not frightening the electorate son. Making his baby the nation’s “Pwards," repeated a sur- never been fashionable to be a stu- obsessive Labour moderniser, glossy talk without the walk. It has and losing the next election." Back godson is, by God-given opportu- prised Jonathan Dimbleby as the dent and to be overtly besotted by proportional represen- become a given that all political in 1995, Anne Campbell was the nity (heaven forbid that it was a voice of student Britain refused to Conservative. And even the most tation, foundation hospitals and promises will have a catch, that first MP to have her own website; planned pregnancy), an attempt to let him end the PM’s interrogation loyal Conservatives can appreciate the single currency, but notably Paxman will highlight them, that today her party (alongside the remind students that the Liberal on Question Time last night. The the arguments for looking else- (and unequivocally) opposed to the mass media will savage them, Conservatives) uses ultra-modern Democrats are a party for our gen- 2001 elections saw only 39 percent where in Cambridge; for Ian military occupation in Iraq. Her and that the public will become advertising techniques, such as of a politically apathetic student Lyon, the Conservative candidate party allegiance is best illustrated cynical and apathetic about sending us bespoke publicity Cynical and apathetic population voting. The defining is something of a no-hoper, whilst by the fact that she has only voted democracy.The universal currency leaflets tailored to what the party about democracy protests of this past Labour term other party candidates (well, actu- against her government in parlia- of this democracy is a grievance expects us to find important, have been student dominated: the ally, only the Liberal Democrat ment an astonishingly low 12 out against the government.To count- eration. I felt more inspired by the marches against top-up fees, the “I felt more inspired by of 1020 times in the past Labour er this, politicians increasingly last pizza leaflet that I received. Countryside Alliance and the term, and 2 out of 896 votes in he resort to inciting fear and loathing And they can be guaranteed to Stop the War events witnessing the last pizza leaflet previous term. Born and bred in to lobby voter interest. deliver. heavy student involvement. that I received. Cambridge, she is clearly hard n health, fear of the MRSA The Liberal Democrats recog- Psephologists and bookies are now And they can be working and committed. She has bug, in education, fear of nise the importance of the student predicting a dramatic rise in the guaranteed to deliver” rung the Varsity office many times Itop-up fees, in the econo- vote. They paid £1000 for a full- number of student votes; we stu- after midnight to comment on my, fear of tax-increases, in colour advert in the Leeds Student dents are officially no longer indif- David Howarth) can realistically news stories. Yet for many stu- Parliament, a fear of principle and have since paid more for a ferent and are looking to protest. topple Labour’s Anne Campbell dents, the problem with Anne and, everywhere, a fear of terror- Sam Bostock, 20, Catz Varsity advert. Labour were soon from her eight-year reign. Campbell is that with her govern- ism. Rivers of ink have drenched “Labour. Iraq isn’t a major issue for to follow, guaranteeing us an inter- There are 21, 000 full time stu- ment, they will be leaving univer- the country with fear over asy- me: it may turn out to be a good view with Tony Blair (who wrote a dents in Cambridge: 16,500 here sity with £20, 000 in debt. lum. We are not a country at the decision, even if taken on flaky letter published in the Leeds and 5,000 at Anglia Polytechnic. Exactly a year ago, Campbell moment that believes in the pos- evidence. I support top-up fees - Student). Upon receiving Varsity’s Around a quarter of the voting was accused of a "spectacular U- itive power of politics to enhance it’s better that students pay more somewhat astringent 20 questions, electorate is comprised of a stu- turn," and her face emblazoned people’s lives. Trust has evaporat- and not burden the general tax- a Labour party apparatchik dent body. For most of us, our only upon the side of Warhol soup-can ed. Callaghan and even Major payer. Campbell’s a good local MP replied, "unfortunately, the Prime experience of Cambridge is as stu- as Varsity’s "Campbell’s dupe" were economical with the truth. she’s been victimised for abstain- Minister will not be able to answer dents, and there is nothing hypo- front page following her failure to Yet they were described as mak- ing in the top-up fees vote.” these questions." So what hap- critical about using our vote to say vote against the top-up fees that ing compromises, or even as pened to the great spin machine? Charles Bradley, 19, Catz something about our time here as she had promised to fight against. "realists," but rarely as liars. The according to our different situa- To be political is to make a deci- “Green. The environment is the students, even if it means voting Her decision was described at the bitter truth is that the factors that tions. Dozens of politicians have sion. Friends have tried online vot- most important political issue at for a party that we wouldn’t sup- time by the Guardian as a "crucial made New Labour so electable in swarmed like flies through ing guides. By trawling through a the moment. The major parties port if we were voting from home. turning point," in thwarting a 1997 – her ruthless will in con- Cambridge, secreting party poli- list of multiple choice questions, give it nothing but lip-service. I’m That said, I don’t think that it is backbench amendment that pro- trolling party and the news agen- cies into interviews and speeches these numerous sites then place not voting for them because of the contrary to suggest that most stu- posed to remove variable fees. da, her inability to slough off her before migrating to their next stop you on the political compass. war and because they seem to be dents, and especially Cambridge opposition mindset and think as on the campaign trail. When I Publicwhip.com tells me that I’m engaged in an ideologically empty students, would consider the long-term governors with a huge asked where Baroness Amos had a Liberal Democrat, politcalsur- competition over who can provide importance of national politics mandate – have weakened her been campaigning, Mark Davies, vey2005.com that I’m New the best public services.” above that of local politics in ability to gain respect for ruling her political aide, told me "we do Labour and whoshouldyouvote- forming their party allegiances. Yet effectively. And behind it all is her what we’re told…tomorrow for.com that, well, you guessed it. I The sorry truth is that many see in an election where all political morning, we’ll go wherever we are failed my driving theory test twice, their vote as a negative vote. A parties are preaching from the Inciting fear and most needed." This political rent- so maybe I just can’t do multiple small, but important means of same hymn-sheet, I would suggest loathing to lobby voter a-celebrity parade filled Market choice. Or maybe I need to make preventing a sizeable Labour that for most students, the interest Square to capacity with supporters my own decisions. majority. The party divide used to approach is far more consumerist. Gemma Edgcombe, 22,New Hall queuing to see Charles Kennedy. be a class divide, but as social Individuals want to know which “I’m voting Lib Dem, prima- addiction to spin doctoring. But Once having arrived (late, with his boundaries have disintegrated, so party will guarantee them the best rily over the War on Iraq, not spin doctoring operates according chauffer almost killing four St too have such easy explanations. deal. For us, this is a student deal. just because I opposed mili- to laws of demand and return. Cats undergraduates: Mr Traditionally, Cambridge students So what do our candidates know tary action, but also the unde- The more that you promise, the Kennedy made peace by present- have been more socialist than lib- about us? Worryingly, only one of mocratic and presidential way less that people believe you, the ing them with his autograph), eral and more liberal than conser- our eight candidates knows how in which the decision to greater you try to control the Kennedy received a rapturous wel- vative. New Labour has only real- many colleges there are at invade was taken. I also media, the more viciously they come. "He bussed in supporters ly demonstrated a student-friend- Cambridge. Almost all say that strongly believe in raising tax will turn on you in the end: the from around the country; I see the ly socialism through media- they would vote Green if their for top income earners.” result is a frustrated electorate same faces everywhere," claimed a pleasers such as banning foxhunt- party didn’t exist. The independ- that believes that all politicians local Labour aide. Ruth McCauley, 21, Peterhouse ing and lowering the age of gay ent candidates – well, what can I The irony is that this is an elec- are as cynical as each other. ampbell’s publicity “Lib Dem. While I don’t believe consent. When Tony Blair say about them apart from com- tion where I suspect the This is an election more about leaflets show pictures of that they will form the next gov- announced the emergence of "a menting upon their self-indul- Cambridge student almost cer- publicity that principles; no better Cher alongside the chan- ernment, neither Labour nor very nasty right-wing campaign," gence in making the unfortunate tainly knows where not to vote but demonstrated than here in cellor, but they notably omit any Conservatives offer a viable alter- in the Conservative party, it didn’t mistake of thinking that politics is has great difficulty in deciding Cambridge. John Lancaster references to the Prime Minister. native. Votes for Lib Dems send take long for most students to just about their personal views. where to positively put his cross. attacked New Labour in The Ian Lyon strangely neglects to Labour a clear message that they retort that he leads a nasty, right Anne Campell won the Public services are increasingly London Review of Books for mention university education, as if can’t continue to move away wing party himself. Whilst the Cambridge seat from the Tories in centralised, costing more and yet doing "everything necessary to a third of his electorate don’t exist. from what was their core support Cambridge University Conservative 2002 and has held it since, return- delivering less efficiently. Party win power and then, once in I have received 4 letters from for many years- those attracted Association (CUCA) appears the ing with a 20% majority at the last policies become more about spin office, to do as much as possible of Charles Kennedy, each telling me by their socialism”. IS FOR EDITOR

Applications are now open for the Varsity Michaelmas 2005 EditorialE Team. For more details see www.varsity.co.uk. Deadlines: Editor 4th May; Section Editor 20th May.

M IS FOR MAY WEEK SECTION EDITORS If you are interested in joining the Varsity team for May Week, check out www.varsity.co.uk or email [email protected] ANALYSIS www.varsity.co.uk April 29, 2005 7 Churchill crowned the green king

Rachel Willcock and ll based on their impact on the will also inspire staff and stu- Sam Richardson environment; basically each dents to actively improve their we weighting was calculated by college’s standing, thereby Churchill is Cambridge’s green- working out a sustainability fac- having a positive and tangible y Bar est college, according to a new tor and an impact factor for that impact on our sustainability.”. Luc study revealed in today’s Varsity. practice and multiplying the two College green officers also The report, by the student-run together. Though the calcula- responded positively to the sur- Cambridge University tions used by the League may vey. Roxanna Hastings of Environmental Consulting not be immediately accessible or Fitzwilliam said, “It’s challeng- Society, has been criticised from comprehensible, the message of ing with high apathy levels some quarters for inaccuracy, but the scheme is loud and clear: a amongst students and negative looks certain to raise students’ push to make people in attitudes from college staff. But awareness of green issues. Cambridge aware and account- it’s important, and attitudes do This report follows a previous able for their environmental pol- change if you persevere.” Higher league table produced in May icy (or lack of one.) up the table, Ben Kerr-Shaw of 2002 in which 25 colleges par- Martin Whiteland, the Clare said that “Most Clare stu- ticipated; at that time Jesus dents don’t make a huge deal out College ranked at the top of the “The message is of green issues; they simply get table. The questionnaire was on with it and to the basic distributed in December and loud and clear: things right.” the results were accrued during Be aware.” However, a number of con- Lent term. The categories on cerns were raised about the relia- which questions were asked University Environmental bility of the survey, most notably aimed to cover all aspects of Officer, said of the report that from Darwin. Peter Brindle, the college life, including kitchens, “This is an excellent initiative to Bursar of the graduate college offices and libraries, gardens, raise awareness of environmental (which was ranked towards the heating and insulation, lighting, issues and to promote more sus- bottom of the table), said that, waste, college commitment and tainable practices to reduce the “The survey is completely housekeeping. environmental impact associated wrong. The person in charge of The ranking system used was with college activities. The sur- collecting the data did not come one developed by CUECS vey has highlighted a number of to me, and therefore it is inaccu- members in previous years to key areas where student involve- rate as far as Darwin is con- appropriately take into consider- ment can be expected to result in cerned.” He pointed to the fact Churchill: Cambridge’s top green college, according to CUECs’s study (below) ation the particular and differing significant improvements” that, while the survey criticised situations of Cambridge colleges Dr Ian Kelman, Deputy Darwin’s heating initiatives, a CUECS environmental top ten, 2004-2005 and the initiatives they have in Director of the Cambridge DTI study 14 months ago com- Co Offices & libs place. Each category of the sur- University Centre for Risk in mended the college with flying mmitment Lighting BeddersKitchens Gar vey was examined in terms of the the Built Environment, com- colours. Brindle argued that, W Heating Ov resources used, the extent of mented, “This League Table is “They have got it wrong as far as aste dens eral Rank recycling and waste reduction extremely useful for communi- Darwin is concerned, and I sus- l and any policies that encouraged cating the environmental pect that the same goes for other 1 Churchill 68% 43% 89% 37% 76% 78% 42% 39% 60.2% 2nd better practice. Weightings given friendliness of institutions in colleges as well.” for individual questions were our daily lives. Hopefully it 2 Trinity Hall 84% 32% 78% 57% 83% 75% 42% 39% 59.1% 5th

3 Jesus 58% 64% 50% 56% 69% 50% 87% 56% 58.0% 1st Karen 4 Downing 90% 34% 94% 37% 64% 68% 42% 36% 56.6% 17th Halls How to be green 5 Trinity 58% 24% 78% 25% 71% 75% 87% 41% 56.0% 21st President, 6 Clare 68% 6% 78% 58% 43% 58% 87% 62% 53.2% n/a CUECS but not mean 7 Wolfson 47% 15% 50% 34% 44% 71% 72% 62% 51.1% 23rd

Cambridge colleges are big con- be perfect especially in a univer- Cambridge is that busy individu- 8 Robinson 37% 34% 83% 71% 48% 60% 42% 36% 51.1% 12th sumers of energy and resources, sity where there is such disparity als are unwilling to make the and subsequently produce a between the situations of differ- small sacrifices that are needed. 9 St. John’s 47% 14% 78% 19% 54% 59% 58% 55% 49.5% 22nd huge amount of waste. Students ent colleges in terms of build- It is easy to be impatient with 10 Selwyn 42% 27% 50% 43% 58% 60% 42% 36% 47.8% n/a are perhaps more lax than at ings, population and budget. endeavours to be greener, for the home with heating, lighting and Some of the questions have a results are not immediately water as bills are not metered. defined situation where it may noticeable. Furthermore, the collegiate not be feasible or beneficial to There are positive results that structure of our university the environment to bring about can be seen from the survey. It is means that it is difficult to have these changes. For example, the apparent that sustainable meth- a consistent university policy - amount of waste associated with ods of living are being introduced Bored of the Year Abroad? colleges can get away with bad some building work may out- and hopefully this will continue. Sam Richardson pare to leave: Currently just 47% a massive array of resources avail- environmental practice without weigh the subsequent reduction The highest scoring section of current second year linguists are able for students, and those who any action brought against in environmental impact. Some across all colleges was the A Varsity investigation has shown pleased about the year abroad tak- use it get a lot out of it. If we them. This is what our survey ‘College Commitment to that, despite criticisms over finan- ing place in their third year, com- weren’t here, the Year Abroad seeks to change. “Colleges mustn’t Environmental Issues’, therefore cial and organisational aspects of pared to 81% of third year lin- could not happen’. Environmental issues cannot get away with bad it is evident that most are keen to the languages Year Abroad, it guists. One worrying factor was Four-fifths of students com- continue to be a low priority. It is start implemeting environmental remains popular and looks set to that 17% of fourth years had suf- plained that the half tuition fees well known that our current way green practice.” policies. There are also move- continue in its current form. fered from sexual assault or harass- paid during the Year Abroad are of life is unsustainable and it is ments to form commitess to dis- Students responding to Varsity’s ment during their year abroad. In unreasonable. Varsity has learnt our generation that will suffer. of the colleges also have listed cuss issues and some college have survey of over 200 linguists, response to these worries, the Year that of this money about £100 is However, in order to improve building which makes there are green travel plans. It is reassuring described experiences varying Abroad Office and CUSU started given to pay for supervisions for our current situation people need restrictions on certain modifica- to know that this subject is from ‘fantastic’ and ‘the best year a women-specific meeting last the Year Abroad Project, while a to be made accountable. The tions. becoming part of the university of my life’ to ‘miserable’ and ‘the year. This year the number of further 40% goes to the MML Environmental League Table is The League table is vital for agenda and the aim of the worst year of my life.’ Positive reports of sexual harassment has faculty, to contribute towards fees one way of trying to make people increasing awareness of these League is that in rasing the issues aspects cited included being away halved, and 55% of respondents for students who study at universi- more aware of green issue in important issue sin our universi- further will foster greater discus- from Cambridge (55%), experi- felt well prepared regarding safety, ties abroad, and to fund the Year Cambridge. However, it can only ty community. Environmental sion both within and between encing the culture (84%) and compared to just 17% in the previ- Abroad Office. be successful if it causes individ- issues are being held as increas- the colleges. using the language (85%). ous year. Dr Martin Crowley, the Asked why Cambridge stu- uals, Cambridge colleges and ingly imortant on the world If people are made to think Negative aspects included loneli- Faculty’s Year Abroad Officer, dents are prohibited from taking departments, think about their political stage and it is time that about their behaviour and ques- ness (31%), financial difficulties stated that ‘In response to feed- ‘menial’ jobs, Dr Crowley replied actions and the effect they have Cambridge started to change tion a colleges’ current practice (20%), illness (11%) and missing back, we took positive action and that ‘they have the ability to thrive on the environment. We need to with the times. Nevertheless then we are moving forawrd. loved ones (‘the YA isn’t easy on its effect has been beneficial.’ in more challenging environ- take stock of where we are and awareness is only the first step Students must get involved to the heart’). However, more than half of stu- ments, and they do manage in the think how we can make changes towards change. Real improve- encourage or force these Overall, 69% of students dents still felt that the university end to find more appropriate jobs to counter the presently ment relies on every individual improvements. If attitudes described their year abroad experi- did not provide adequate help in than bar work.’ inevitable slide towards environ- playing a part and taking respon- change and plans are implement- ence as ‘very positive’ and 29% as finding a placement and on the mental destruction. sibility.The problem with imple- ed then maybe we can look for- ‘positive’, which should encourage practicalities of living abroad. Dr See www.varsity.co.uk for more. Of course the survey could not menting these kind of changes in ward to a sustainable future. second year students as they pre- Crowley responded that, ‘We have INTERVIEW 8 April 29, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk Flight: Sacked for telling the truth? Former Tory MP Howard Flight defends his political stance to Lucy Phillips A/ Photoshot UPP

April 2005: Flight was sacked from his party after comments about Tory spending plans October 1968: Flight is profiled in Varsity as President of the University’s Conservative Association

eeling disillusioned by the headed up to the drawing room. meeting in question, he believes now and I think he does have debate over the Home Secretary schools. Segregation on ability to varoius campaign trails in Full of antiques, pictures and he “was defending Conservative integrity”. I suggested that many locking people up without a pay is quite wrong and bad cul- Fthe run up to the general photographs – Lord Reith lived Party policy from criticisms that people were not convinced by Mr judge. They were two really quite turally for the future. Bright peo- election, I decided Howard in the property during the 1920s they were not being more radi- Howard, to which he said: “They moving and democratic debates.” ple from all walks of life should be Flight, a former Cambridge – it took me a few moments to cal.” Typically he accused New may not like him but I think they Mr Flight had already admit- able to go to good schools.” undergraduate – he studied Part decide which chaise longue I Labour of political spin and reit- think he’s able.” He refused to ted to having a preference for a Next I asked him why the I History and Part II Economics should sit on. erated that, under a Tory govern- comment on who might be the Blair government so why does he Conservatives had done so badly at Magdalene in the late sixties – Interestingly, Mr Flight, ment, there would be no cuts in next Tory leader. dislike the current Chancellor so in Cambridge over recent years, might have something more renowned for his 40-a-day smok- front line services as suggested by On the result of the election, much? “I think he’s dangerous to which he replied: “There is a original, and perhaps, more ing habit, has just given up. the media: “It was a half baked Mr Flight took the somewhat and a bully”. He continued, “He much higher proportion of privi- honest, to say. Consequently, I watched him story, on a day that there was lit- official line: “It is much more doesn’t understand how the econ- leged, ex-public school students Mr Flight came into the spot- chew gum throughout our inter- tle other news…….The only way marginal than it appears.” He omy works. He started well but in Cambridge than in my day and light at the end of March when view but coolly chose not to make to kill it off was my sacking.” added, “Since December I have since 2000 has been imprudent the very privileged all have guilt he was sacked as Deputy comment on the piece of stale, Mr Flight further dominated thought that there is a good and irresponsible.” complexes and are quite under- Chairman of the Conservative hard nicotine gum stuck to the the news in his attempt to save chance it will be like 1970 and standably of that kind of political party and deselected from his seat drinks coaster adjacent to me: I his seat and political career, but that we will win by [a majority Gordon Brown:“I persuasion when they’re young. in the Commons by Michael sincerely hope his wife does not eventually conceded that this was of ] about 20. Governments lose In general young people are much Howard, following the taping think me the culprit. not in his or the Tory’s interest: when they have run out of steam, think he’s danger- more realistic nowadays and and release of his comments “The only thing I could have this lot have run out of steam. ous and a bully.” they’re more realistic at places about secret plans to slash gov- Michael Howard:“I done was to have stood as an Blair has lost trust.” other than Cambridge.” ernment spending. independent [candidate]…….. I I then put it to him that the In the hope of avoiding further He went on to describe the Mr Flight was responsible for think he’s the best didn’t want to do it …...it would election itself might have lost back-biting I turned the topic of Tories as a “Practical, commercial, setting up the James review into we’ve got right have kept the story public which trust after the recent postal voting conversation to matters of educa- economically more sensible party public spending, which identified now.” would have been damaging to us, fraud revelations, to which he tion. Mr Flight is a governor of that is not idealist; and idealist £35 billion savings and is one of and the probability is that I said, “It is very clear there is scope his old school, Brentwood, in things are going to attract young the Tories’ flagship policies in the My first questions were as wouldn’t have won and I might to abuse the system. The irony Essex, and has four children, two people particularly from a privi- election. However he told a right- inevitable as the sacked MP’s even have let the Liberal [candi- was that both the referendum in of whom are currently in higher leged background.” wing Tory audience: “The poten- answers: Mr Flight feels his date] in, I would have wrecked the north on regional govern- education. He told me: “O-levels As our time was almost up I tial for getting better taxpayer now famous comments about my local Association.” ment and even the (pause) EU and GCSEs have gone off the wanted to find out who are his value is a good bit greater than public spending were taken out I sensed that he was tiring of MP’S [sic] election, although rails. There is quite a strong case political idols: ”I liked Reagan the James findings.” He further of context and that his sacking the subject so I turned the con- there was clearly abuse of postal for the Baccalaureate…. but it’s very much, Churchill was won- implied that billions more could was “unfair and not good for versation to his present situation: voting, it didn’t seem to affect the rather a pity because it’s admit- derful, Thatcher was wonderful. be found but details were being the party.” “I’m sorting myself out. I don’t net result.” Naturally he conceded ting that you’re not achieving the Lincoln was great and I actually deliberately hushed up to avoid I put it to him that the Tories know about the future that any misuse would “probably sort of general levels of education have a lot of time for Ghandi.” losing votes in the election. have some kind of ‘hidden agen- yet…….but I certainly haven’t benefit the Labour party most.” that we managed to receive in the What about Bush? “I don’t know Mr Flight has since main- da,’ but his response was unequiv- given up intentions to be involved If it came to the crunch, Mr past.……GCSEs are pretty shal- ….you know where you stand tained that his words had been ocal: “All I was saying is that a in politics.” He later added, “I’m Flight said he would choose Blair low stuff, whereas O-levels were with him. I think that maybe misinterpreted and he said noth- Conservative government would a treasury creature by skill, nature over Brown, “even though he’s quite a significant level of he’s much more of a man of ing outside Tory policy. need to review the situation once and background.” come across as a shyster and defi- achievement.” principle than people realise and I arrived at the family home in elected…..In terms of sorting out I was eager to find out what nitely misled the country over Despite his public school man- increasingly he seems to be scor- Westminster as Mr Flight was what we are going to be commit- Mr Flight really thought of Iraq.” I took this opportunity to ner and penchant for pin striped ing over those trying to bury him finishing a leisurely lunch with ted to in the James review it was Michael Howard but he loyally ask him about the war: “I sup- suits I felt Mr Flight seemed in as some dumbo.” his wife and secretary.They kind- discussed, agreed and sieved to described his former boss as ported the war and still do.In touch on matters of education. For my final question, I ly offered me a boiled egg, but arrive at what was politically “exceedingly bright and able, eight years the two really good He continued: “I have always returned to his smoking habits having just eaten, I promptly doable and acceptable. We have politically sharp and very cautious House of Commons’ debates and believed passionately that there and asked how he was feeling: “I opted for a glass of red wine no hidden agenda.” – he doesn’t like mistakes”. But occasions were the debate on Iraq should be lots of places at ease for have given up now for 10 days. instead. After the initial niceties Mr Flight went on to tell me could he win the election? “I where both Cook and Blair were bright people from any back- It’s going very well, I’m not fidg- and lunch was cleared up, we that during the course of the think he’s the best we’ve got right brilliant, and secondly the whole ground to go to good established eting,” he abruptly replied. INTERVIEW www.varsity.co.uk April 29, 2005 9 Democrats al r Back to basics: y of the Libe es t Why the Lib Dems’ cour elder statesmen is calling for a change in British politics Amol Rajan talks to Lord Tom McNally, the next leader of the Liberal Democrats in the House of Lords

Blair’s presidential style has been essentially positive, optimistic, thy and cultivate engagement.” based on a manipulation of the and – McNally’s favourite word He is keen to emphasise the media for selfish purposes”. – “aspirational”. This, I keep fact that this needn’t be an I’m conscious through all this feeling, is proper personality- endorsement of fear-culture in that McNally’s attack on the politics; a man with decades of Britain. I ask him how, if not media is, by implication, an attack experience in the political game, through fear, he would seek to on those of us who consider our- one of the voices of British liber- combat apathy. selves journalists. If the media is alism, little known by the wider “I understand and accept the to blame for all this, what’s it public, divorced from our cur- point about apathy. Of course doing now that it didn’t do rent, contemptible obsession turnout at the last election was before? “The media has trivi- with celebrity, and yet engaged disappointing. But we must alised and made cynical our pub- on a personal, intellectual level remember that, across the land, lic life. The media needs democ- with the affairs of state. hundreds and thousands of peo- racy itself; it needs to be held to It is on the issue of fear cul- ple are out distributing leaflets, account and be as transparent and ture that this compassion is engaging with the public, can- independent as is possible. This most forceful and most cogent: vassing on issues that they really is one of the reasons why the Lib “the politics of hope is the best feel does matter.” Dems have fought so hard for the antidote to the politics of fear” Of course that’s true, I BBC; we believe it can work as an he says, highlighting the role of acknowledge. Many of their jobs iron rule which keeps the rest of fear in American politics. depend on what happens on May the media honest.” “Look at Washington and New 5th; many of them are fiercely It’s easy for politicians to criti- York. These two places are the intelligent people who lead politi- cise the media without accepting most likely in the whole of the cally active lives, with a keen sense responsibility for the culture that USA to be attacked by terror- of their public roles. But I put to Lord Tom McNally on a visit to Cambridge earlier this week they themselves have helped to McNally the proposition that institute. McNally, to his credit, “Politics cannot and apathy – or its slightly younger id you see the Liberal Conservative Party portrayed politician that McNally typifies – stops short of this; but he does go and subtly different sister-ill, dis- Democrats’ party political Tony Blair with the eyes of a a respected liberal reformist, radi- on to make a sustained attack on should not be engagement – is an inevitable Dbroadcast on Sunday? It demon they instigated a paradigm cal on civil liberties and education Rupert Murdoch, whom he reduced to different product of an age of material says as much about them as it shift in British public life. policy – is evaporating as a result. thinks holds considerable respon- plenty. The New Labour method does about the state of public life Though they didn’t know it then, He was the late Jim Callaghan ‘s sibility not only for the changing marketing tech- of engaging with the public, I sug- in Britain. In it, Charles the Conservatives began the adviser on foreign affairs and political climate in Britain, but niques, or trivial dis- gest, is about reducing politics Kennedy, new father, is profiled as process whereby personality tests then, when Callaghan became also for the increasing personalisa- cussions of how from a Big Idea to localised a seasoned political veteran, a man and intrusion into the private lives Prime Minister in 1976, was put tion of political discourse. micro-management, relating to who joined Parliament in 1983 as of political leaders would take in charge of Callaghan’s office in “The day Murdoch took con- many times you voters by talking about Their its youngest ever member and has precedence over a serious interro- Number 10. He was elected a trol of The Sun he proved that wash your hands” waiting lists, Their schools, Their since grown into a mature thinker gation of party policy as the Labour MP in 1979 but defected you could go downmarket and local crime rates. with an avuncular, affable, and mechanism whereby voters to the newly formed Social still have popular appeal,” says ists. But both voted Democrat, “I agree that this sort of mana- irrepressibly ginger disposition. choose whom to put their faith in. Democratic Party when it formed McNally. I put it to him that whereas, despite being far gerial style is an aspect of the New When Kennedy visited ‘Trust’, thrust into even greater in 1981. Baroness Williams, newspapers are businesses, and removed from any international Labour style. Politics cannot and Cambridge on Tuesday it was prominence with the Iraq war, has whom McNally is replacing as the must sell to survive. “Indeed, as terrorist threat, voters in the should not be reduced to different more of the same: intensely become the issue of the day. Lib Dems’ leader in the House of Murdoch would argue that his midwest voted for Bush, partly marketing techniques, or trivial Charles, intensely personal. Lords, and Menzies Campbell, first responsibility is to his share- because they trusted him to pro- discussions of how many times Banners and posters across the “Aspects of the revered Deputy Leader of the holders. But, nevertheless, I think tect them from these threats”. you wash your hands.” McNally town projected his sturdy, Scottish Tuesday’s Newsnight Lib Dems, are two notable mem- it’s deeply regrettable that his con- This strikes me as a salient stops at this point to put that features onto the lives of students bers of that category of politician duct has helped make a culture of point, and McNally, reflecting comment into context. He says and local residents alike. The represented a to which McNally belongs. fear such a big part of today’s his long-held interest in interna- he is referring to a discussion on game plan was obvious: Kennedy prostitution of our But why has personality politics political climate.” tional affairs – whilst working Tuesday’s Newsnight, in which is consistently vilified for carrying political system” taken such a grip on Britain’s pub- There is something hearten- for Callaghan he met American Jeremy Paxman had a conversa- none of the gravitas of Tony Blair lic space? “70% of people get their ing in the compassion with presidents Ford and Carter, as tion with Michael Howard about or Michael Howard, and por- The presence, therefore, of men politics from TV or radio now”, which McNally speaks. His well as such diplomatic giants as how many times he washed his trayed as the likeable bloke-next- like Lord Tom McNally is of con- says McNally, “and that has been voice exudes the sort of melliflu- Kissinger and Brezhnev – finds hands in a hospital, which door who’ll never be PM. The siderable satisfaction to people of the starting point of the New ous hum that one imagines his rhythm when discussing the stemmed from the Conservative’s advertising angle of the Lib Dem all political persuasions who hold Labour project.” The declining Disraeli or Gladstone would domestic scene in America. recent attempt to elevate MRSA campaign is largely about deflect- on to a romantic conception of sales of newspapers has led to a have spoken with. He combines “Voters in the midwest asked to the top of the political agenda. ing these sorts of criticisms. politics as something more than different method of engagement an almost Sir Humphreyesque for draconian laws on all manner “I was appalled by that dis- This is the politics of personal- trial-by-telly. McNally, aged 62, is with the public, McNally says, in pragmatism with the deep con- of issues, from gun laws to civil play. It represents a prostitu- ity, and though it is hardly a new part of a dying breed. The vogue which soundbites and imagery viction that things can be done liberties. But they voted, at least, tion of our political system. I invention its grip on public life for dynamic, youthful faces is a play an increasing role. “The spin, better, that Murdoch’s empire is and it is important to recognise want politics to be more posi- has accelerated rapidly under more significant feature of the Lib rapid rebuttal, and aggressive not inviolable, that the Lib the role that fear can play in tive, to be aspirational. If you New Labour. Not that it’s entire- Dems and Labour than it is of the campaigning of New Labour is Dems offer a different concep- encouraging people to come out haven’t got optimism, you ly their fault: when, in 1997, the Conservatives, and the type of largely imported from America. tion of politics – one that is and vote. Fear can destroy apa- wouldn’t be a Lib Dem.” 10 COMMENT April 29, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk

11-12 Trumpington Street Cambridge CB2 1QA 01223 353422

Editor Amol Rajan [email protected] Deputy Editors Henry Bowen James Dacre [email protected] Online Editor Sarah Marsh [email protected] Deputy Web Editor Adam Edelshain courtesy of the Liberal Democrats Arts Editor Jessica Holland [email protected] Chief Photos Editor Lucy Barwell [email protected] Photos Editor Albert Mockel- Von-Dem-Bussche Chief News Editors Chine Mbubaegbu Lucy Phillips [email protected] News Editors Amy Goodwin Oliver Tilley [email protected] Chief Analyst Sam Richardson [email protected] News Analysts Rachel Willcock Kate Ward Comment Editor Ned Beauman [email protected] Interviews and Mungo Woodifield “The residents of this city came out in force to engage and interact with the democratic process” Letters Editor [email protected] Features Editors Jenna Goldberg Sarah Sackman [email protected] Science Editors Krystyna Larkham Zoe Smeaton When RON’s not an option,who [email protected] Travel Editor Oliver Batham [email protected] Theatre Editor Allegra Galvin are we going to vote for? [email protected] Music Editors Nicola Simpson Jon Swaine Until they launch the Archie Party, one of these three will have to do Was Yaqoob [email protected] ecause I’m a guy who knows individual position without reference Satire Editors Jonny Sweet how to party, on Wednesday Archie to their Chief-Whip-issued pager? Zack Simons Bnight I went to an event put on Politicians aren’t all Well, it’s a bugger, but the salient [email protected] by the Peterhouse and Trinity Politics “ Bland facts, given the election is next week Film Editor Emma Paterson society. (And you know what madness idealists, because and thus a matter of some urgency, are [email protected] it is when those guys get together.) being idealistic isn’t these: RON isn’t an option. There isn’t Literature Editor Benjamin King Student Columnist The idea was, get the leaders of the easy when there’s an a Dubya to loathe. And, guess what? [email protected] student Labour, Liberal Democrat, of the Year Politicians aren’t all idealists, because Visual Arts Editor Johanna Z-Sharp and Conservative parties, and put election to win being idealistic isn’t easy when there’s [email protected] them in a room and have them make ” an election to win. If you’d replaced Fashion Editors Agata Belcen persuasive speeches and then answer a Arrowsmith, Goodhead and Gettleson Lucy Styles bunch of questions. with Blair, Howard and Kennedy, [email protected] The three representatives had to say, it didn’t really happen. On Everyone I talk to is saying the same you’d have had a much more vigorous Sports Editors Adam Edelshain markedly distinct styles. Lib Dem some of the most contentious issues of thing - that they do care about this debate, but you’d also have had a lot Tom Burrell Mark Gettleson held forth in the clas- the night – immigration, Iraq, faith stuff (anyone who’s talked to any stu- more economy with the truth. Ben Myers sic historian-patrician-of-course-it’s- schools – the three politicos confessed dent ever knows the apathy thing is by I’d like to support a party that does [email protected] all-about-Conrad-Russell-style, and that they thought their respective par- and large utter bullshit), but that there more to bring the environment up the Production Ifti Qurashi displayed a cheering fondness for the ties had made a pig’s ear of policy, and just isn’t a party they feel properly agenda. I’d like to support a party that Managers David Wyatt phrase Abjectly Bad; Martin so the banter was cut somewhat short. attached to. Some lean towards the dares to change the terms of the [email protected] Arrowsmith played it straight, leaving Everyone looked especially disap- Lib Dems but worry that their policies debate on crime and punishment. In Production Alastair Currie the verbal fisticuffs to his rivals in the pointed when Goodhead admitted he are the easy opposition of a party fact, I’d like to support a party that Sarah Keen manner of a Labour supporter who wasn’t really thinking what the which knows it won’t get elected; oth- calls itself the Archie Is Right About Business Manager Eve Williams knew this election’s been a foregone Conservatives were thinking over ers would give the Tories a whirl if it Everything And So We’re Basing Our [email protected] conclusion since the day after the last weren’t for all this nonsense about Manifesto On A Combination Of His Chief Sub-Editor Anna McIlreavy one; Tom Goodhead wore the bruised, Cambridge student travellers and asylum seekers; still Columns And What He Said Down defiant expression one would expect to politics isn’t just any more wish they could vote Labour, but The Pub The Other Night Party. I see on the face of a student Tory, play- student politics are angry enough about Iraq in partic- expect, if you could change the first ing the he-who-dares-to-speak-truth- ular and disillusioned enough with the word of its moniker to your own, that’s unto-power card, saying things like immigration, or at least, he qualified, New Labour project in general to a party you’d support to. But the fact Email the business manager to enquire about France Is Worse Than A Banana what they say they’re thinking to get wonder whether they really want to is: that party doesn’t exist, and the placing adverts. Letters for publication Republic, and Of Course We Shouldn’t elected. There was a sort of mini-fra- put a cross next to Anne Campbell’s odds are, it never will. Shame, eh? But should be emailed or posted to the editor. Be Bound By International Law, and cas then over whether it was alright to name. More and more, Cambridge I think, with less than a week until the Let’s Bomb The Hell Out Of Those pursue the bigot vote, but it didn’t students sound like they wish there day we choose who’s going to govern To get involved in a section, email the rele- Scotch Bastards! (He didn’t say the last really set the pulse racing in the way was a RON on the national ballot. us, that it’s time we all got over it; and, vant section editor listed above, and come one, obviously, so I’m being pretty seri- seeing a ding-dong between Paxman I sympathise, I really do. I’ve been like Mark, Martin, and Tom, recog- along to a meeting. No experience necessary. ously unfair, but you see what I mean.) and Blair, Howard or Kennedy can. seriously considering staying at home, nise that sitting in the pub longing for These differences were clear from On May 5, most of us will go and and I can’t help but feel nostalgic for A Better World is a sight less effective Varsity is published by Varsity Productions the off, and I settled back in one of the vote, and for many of us it will be the Kerry-Bush, which seemed much than getting involved in trying to Ltd, and printed by Cambridge Evening News. All copyright is the exclusive prop- inordinately large and comfortable first time. By and large, though, it will more satisfyingly drawn along Luke make the best of the one we actually erty of Varsity Publications Ltd. No part of Peterhouse-provided chairs (clearly be with a sense of disappointment, Skywalker-Darth Vader lines. And, as live in. In a few years’ time, if we real- this publication is to be reproduced, stored designed to remind us that Cambridge and I think that has something to do I thought on the way home from ly want to, we can try to do that by in a retrieval system or transmitted in any student politics isn’t just any old stu- with what we see in these three stu- Wednesday’s knees-up, why can’t running the place; in the meantime, form or by any means, without prior per- dent politics) in mouthwatering antic- dents: even the party representatives more politicians be like their student the vote will have to do, and I think mission of the publisher. ipation of a right old set-to. But, sad can’t get with the programme. representatives, capable of defining an it’s pretty important that we use it. EDITORIAL www.varsity.co.uk April 29, 2005 11

Letters [email protected] Letters may be edited for space or style

Up the U’s Disability Resource Centre Re-elected in 1997 with a they right to do so? and Habbin Stand season-tick- huge swing, declaring that Students decide Dear Sir, et holder. ‘Labour will not allow universi- Firstly, the Labour govern- There was a moment on Tuesday when Sir Menzies ties to introduce tuition fees’, ment have succeeded in manip- Campbell, the revered Deputy Leader of the Liberal For the first time ever whilst Corrective Anne Campbell then proceeded ulating and capitalising on the Democrats, was being heckled by Labour supporters from the working for Cambridge to vote for their introduction fear that a vote for Lib Dems crowd at Market Square that he was addressing. “Look”, he University, I found myself run- Sir, within the year. will let the Tories back in. In said to them, “I’ll do a deal with you. You stop telling lies about ning round the office brandish- fact, the opposite is true since us and we’ll stop telling the truth about you”. The crowd ing a copy of Varsity and Apostrophe. Front page; Perhaps in part due to her 70 of the Lib Dems top 100 tar- cheered, and in an instant Campbell, already a popular figure screaming 'Yes yes, look at this, number 618. No. duplicity over the fees issue, get seats are held by Tories and across the country, crystallised his popular reputation within it's great!' I'm referring to Cambridge saw one of the only 24 by Labour (bbc.co.uk). the city. Adam Edelshain's excellent Etc, largest swings against Labour One does not have to be convinced of the arguments pro- article 'Are students too lazy to anywhere in the country in Secondly, people think that posed by the Liberal Democrats to understand why Tuesday’s watch football?' which com- Peter Parkes 2001. At that election, the the Lib Dems are irrelevant visit, and the scenes in Market Square that evening, were of sig- pelled me to write in expressing Emmanuel College Student Labour manifesto declared that since they ‘can’t win anyway’. nificance. Cambridge is one of the Liberal Democrat’s target my agreement. Union President they would ‘not introduce top- Again wrong. Even if the Lib seats; they need only a 10% swing on the 2001 result, and are up fees and have legislated to Dems were to just equal the hoping that the student vote, propelled by the Iraq war, might I would however urge stu- prevent them’ – and as late as Tories, there would be real pol- displace Labour’s Anne Campbell MP in favour of David dents to watch Cambridge Facial Focus 2003, our MP declared herself icy impacts. Howarth, a fellow at Clare. United (and probably also City to be ‘a long-standing opponent For one night only Cambridge became the focus of much and Histon) not for moral or Dear Editor, of top-up fees’. Despite con- New Labour is currently national attention. But it became more too. It became politi- altruistic reasons but because stant assurances to CUSU and drawn to the right by the Tory cal. The urgency and dynamism simmering amongst the crowd it's entertaining. I'm using that In what must be recognised countless other constituents, in threat, as evident in the battle to queuing around Market Square invoked Dickensian scenes of word in the literal sense mind as a rather turgid election cam- spring 2004, Anne Campbell be ‘tough on immigration’. public solidarity. This was People Politics with two capital P’s, you, not the footballing one. paign, one issue has loomed voted for top-up fees. With a Lib Dem challenge the residents of a city coming out in force to engage and inter- large above the rest in its their policies would swing left, act with the democratic process. For all the endless talk of stu- The droll, old men on the importance. We believe that such actions closer to the preferences of the dent apathy and disenchantment, the message from Cambridge terraces are funny, their com- undermine the very essence of electorate if the above poll is was clear: we care, and we want something to vote for. ments are funny, the sarcastic Clearly the big question does parliamentary representation. correct. As James Dacre (page 5) and Archie Bland (opposite) write songs form the North-Stand are not centre on taxation,immigra- Wherever you may stand on the today, there is little consensus on what precisely students should funny, watching the away fans tion, school discipline blah blah specifics of the massive changes Go out and tell your vote for. This needn’t be a bad thing: the absence of consensus pick their way through mud in blah but on what we want our this government has made to friends… can fuel political debate. Students across the city have a respon- winter and cows in summer on Prime Minister to look like. higher education policy, the fact sibility to participate positively in this debate and ought, really, the way to the ground is funny, remains that despite attempts at Matthew Bolton to vote on May 5th. Whether the immediate political future of the player's haircuts are funny, The battleground has been a consultation process, Anne Cambridge is on the verge of major upheaval is a matter fit only the song played after a victory is pitched firmly on the faces of Campbell ignored her con- for conjecture; but that the student vote will be decisive in influ- funny (It's 'I've got a lovely our party leaders. With Tony stituents when they told her Shades of Green encing the outcome is a cause for celebration. bunch of coconuts' incase you're being accused of having a 'smug what she didn’t want to hear. All this carries overtures, of course, of another era. In the interested), the children reading smirk', what better countermea- late 60’s and early 70’s, student activism played a more influen- out the raffle are funny, the half sure than his spray-tan riposte? It is a cruel irony of our elec- Dear Sir, tial role in the development of Western culture than it ever has time entertainment is funny, Presumably his now wholesome toral system that the votes of done before. Today’s students should seek to play an equally watching our captain get into a complexion will warm him to students are too often dissipated I was extremely disappoint- active role. This needn’t require extremist or fashionable caus- punch up with his own team- the voting public, in contrast across the country for us to ed to see the baseless claims es; rather it requires basic compassion, the suspension of igno- mate is pure comedy. with the sallow pallor of spooky make any real difference in an of a few radical environmen- rance, and a touch of common sense. The last of these at least Michael Howard. election. In Cambridge howev- talists given such prominence our student populace ought to consider both desirable. Funniest of all is Danny er, where we make up 26% of in your last issue. Webb, the worst striker I've ever On the other hand, a little bit the population, we can make a seen (and I've seen many). If too much of the David real difference. Any serious discussion of so you want a good laugh and 90 Dickinson and Tony will be called “climate change” must Statutory last words minutes watching real people playing ginto the hands of those We hope above all that all acknowledge just how Permit me this final indulgence, will you? Archie had his, so I shall do real things then you'll love it. who charge him with having students cast their votes next ephemeral the alleged change have mine. Thanks, everyone, for making Varsity much more than a sold the Iraq war to the British Thursday and that they do so in is and how fanciful the propo- newspaper. I sincerely believe there is no other institution in I firmly believe that public with all the candour of a Cambridge. Let’s make our- sitions to reverse or halt this Cambridge in which students of such diversity, creativity, and exuber- Cambridge United is as much a second hand car salesman. selves heard. alleged change truly are. ance come together to make a product of such widespread appeal, or prestigious institution as Whilst the big two fight for to have so much fun; nor, as far as I know, is there any institution Cambridge University only skin tone supremacy, don't for- Yours sincerely, Given the multitude of which I would rather have been involved in. with more personality. Nick get the single malt ruddiness of problems facing the world Enormous thanks to all those in the tabular column on page 10. Hornby raved about them in his Charlie Kennedy. Ben Brinded, today it seems overly indul- But especially to: Eve, for her extraordinary generosity, energy, and book 'Fever pitch' and put us on (Former CUSU President) gent of developed nations and patience; to Henry and James, for tempering their ferocious intellects the literary map. Dion Dublin, Never mind tuition fees and Dave Chapman, their citizens to concentrate with wonderful humour; to Lucy and Chine, for unstinting dedica- Steve Claridge, Danny an anti-war stance, the Lib (Former President, King’s JCR) so much time and energy on tion and never complaining; to Ifti and David, without whose uncom- Granville and Jody Craddock Dems are going for the student Dom Clarke, the issue of global warming. mon common sense and exceptional kindness this paper would not have all played in the premier- vote through the flush in (Former President, Trinity JCR) exist; and to Archie, for his honesty and compassion, and for being by ship and all played for Charlie's cheeks. Tom Clarke, It is unconscionable to some margin the finest writer and journalist I’ve ever worked with. To Cambridge Utd. (Former Chair, CUSU LBGT) devote resources to fighting a TCS, for being a sister paper rather than a rival, and for keeping us Yours cosmetically, Dave Hall, problem we only think exists honest and on our toes with some outstanding journalism and inno- Our goalie John Ruddy, who (Former President, Clare JCR) with weapons we only think vation. Most of all, perhaps, thanks to the noble, adventurous, and came through the youth team is Martin van Jaarsveld John Hayward, will work. Global poverty and incorrigible Boozehounds, who have been throughout this term and poised to join Everton. And I'll Rotterdam (Former CUSU Education hunger are much more worthy the past 3 years my greatest inspiration, and who brought to bet you'll all be queuing up to Officer) foes. Cambridge a vitality and spirit it previously lacked. buy tickets for that forthcoming Student journalism matters, you know. I’ve got to say it, because if friendly. A call to action While the evidence for I don’t I’ll forever regret not abusing this power sufficiently. We and A call to action (x2) global warming is cloaked in TCS do more than launch careers and get names in print: we scare I am ashamed to be part of a caveats and controversy, no those who run the University, and keep them from lying to us. That city which will contribute Dear Sir, Dear Editor and Electorate, one could deny that millions we also review plays and rugby matches, amongst others things, makes towards the 1.7 million pounds starve, millions more are our contribution to Cambridge irreplaceable. needed to keep hold of the The coming general election A large and misinformed forced to choose between Read on, dear reader. Without you we are nothing, hackneyed Maccelsfield Psalter but which is of huge significance to all of proportion of voters think that shelter and food and millions though that phrase is. Talking of which: see page 6 again for how to will do nothing to stop our pro- us as Cambridge constituents. the Lib Dems would make the more between housing and become a part of this wonderful institution. You can’t have missed it: fessional football team disinte- This seat is likely to be one of best government but are not education. These are the glob- I’m the elephant blowing his own trumpet. grating into nothing more than the closest fights Labour face in planning on voting for them. A al issues that we should a plot of earth to build houses the country and there is a real recent poll conducted by ICM devote ourselves too, not the on - there are far too many peo- chance they will not gain re- suggested that 39% of the elec- nebulous fears of environ- On 4 March Varsity published a report on the appointment of a ple living in Cambridge any- election here. torate would vote Lib Dem if mentalists. new Senior Tutor at King’s, which included allegations about Dr way! they thought that the Lib Dems Moggridge. We would like to reiterate that the allegations of Given all that has happened could win in their constituency Yours sincerely improper conduct and verbal abuse have been strongly denied, and ESee you at Wycombe hope- over the past 8 years, we feel a (ICM 19th April). acknowledge that there has been no complaint of either improper fully, before it's too late. duty to highlight the record of In reality, the Lib Dem vote Mark Moredim conduct or verbal abuse made against Dr Moggridge. Dr our MP, the promises she has is more likely to be around 21% Moggridge’s statements and publications concerning the admis- Yours Sincerely, made, and the manner in which and they will continue to be the sions system were intended as contributions towards its continuing her actions have directly contra- third party in British politics. improvement. We apologise for any distress this may have caused. Gail Pearson dicted these. Why do these crucial 18% think Secretary and act in this way? And are 12 COMMENT April 29, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk

Babbleshop Fly away to enlightenment Ned Beauman olence and light the night Apparently the Haribo Truck is .net Jessica before. e to visit the Oxford Union this Travel is easy. It won’t hurt term. It’s not coming to Holland you (as long as you insure your imag Cambridge. The news makes me iPod, get the right jabs, and very bitter. I would await the carry a rape alarm); you won’t arrival of the Haribo Truck with find out that it doesn’t exist, more excitement than most that it slept with someone else, Christians await the Second o what are you up to over or that it fucked up your short- Coming of Christ. Still, all is not the summer? Prepare term memory. You don’t need lost, because I recently discovered Syourself, it’s a question to invest emotionally in it, or the Regent Street Convenience that will become increasingly make any kind of pro-active Store (67 Regent Street, opposite frequent over the coming contribution that doesn’t the Light Bar), the best place in weeks, a welcome (if pre- involve travellers’ cheques. But Cambridge (in the world?) to buy dictable) alternative to ‘Shit – it fills that pesky modern-life- Haribo. They stock twenty-one was it Nagel or Block who is-rubbish hole by making you different types of Haribo, includ- came up with the ‘pleasure feel simultaneously anony- ing some of the most rare and machine’ counter-example to a mous enough that nothing esoteric varieties such as Strawbs single, hedonistic criterion of really matters, and more and Magic Mix, and, thrillingly, value for ethical theories?’ But vibrantly substantial. they’re open until 11 at night, think carefully before you Richard Linklater’s 1994 later than Sainsbury’s. They also answer, (the first question that film Before Sunrise captures have lots of Maynards and is, although answers on a post- perfectly the feeling of step- Rowntree products, as well as (an card to the second are also ping off a train with the heady increasingly rare sight these days) welcome) you’re revealing feeling that you can be anyone, loose tubs of snakes and cola bot- more than you think. do anything, say anything. It tles for a few pence each. We’re the generation for cons you into thinking the I interviewed Iftikhar, the very whom travel is the only rebirth headrush is about love; but we friendly manager of the store. Do left: the only remaining apoca- all know from our GCSE people come to the shop just to Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy in Before Sunset, the sequel to Before Sunrise lypse that will give our lives knowledge of Romeo and buy sweets? ‘That is the whole meaning, and that will never, Juliet, that heady, doomed tion that it allows. TV’ young, who smirk at their embarking on a voyage of self- idea. If somebody wants sweets, ever let us down. Bridget Jones romance doesn’t translate into People are now wise to the parents’ transparent material- discovery in Peru, you could they know where to come.’ aside, we shared-custody chil- the real world of schedules and fact that Ikea sells you a ism in favour of a languid try taking a look for yourself Sweets are popular among all dren don’t expect our spiritual monotony. When you’re sun- lifestyle dream as well as mere process of self-realisation that in a local park – with dark ages, he says, proving the famous culmination to occur once we furniture. You buy Haagen- enough sunglasses and some- old aphorism about Haribo. Did find Mr. Darcy and settle We all know that sex daazs because the people who You’re in love with one spinning poi in your face the recent acquisition by down in the suburbs. We know will end in tears eat it on the advert have sex, the version of you might just be able to fool Maynards of Midget Gems and that sex is all about serotonin and Staples stationary because yourself – but we all know (the connoisseur’s choice) Sports and evolution and that it will kissed and carefree in sandals it promises you order in your yourself that that for an apocalypse now Mixture, formerly manufactured all end in tears. And, while the with one thumb holding your life, and shoes for sex, and beer strangers see there’s nothing like getting off by the Lions, affect his business? days of finding a deeper level place in a battered copy of On in a glass bottle because of, a train somewhere far, far ‘No.’ (To be honest, that very to our existence in religion are The Road it’s easy to think that um, sex. But travel, an industry contributes relatively little to away. Select your destination much surprises me. It’s surely the long gone for the majority of every bum you sit next to is that’s booming like never the economy, except from the carefully; because next the biggest thing in the sweets indus- us, we’re still far too sensible to some kind of a soul-mate. before, is still seen as a gen- proceeds of the odd Sonic next time someone asks you try since Trebor Bassett took over spend our mornings wrapped You’re in love with the version uinely spiritual investment. Youth record or copy of where you’re going for the Maynards in 1990.) in a duvet, listening to of yourself that these strangers (Getting laid is just an added Adbusters. summer, you’ll know that they I ask him what his highest- Portishead, coming down from see: without past or future. bonus.) It’s the perfect con- But hey, we’ve all got to find don’t want an itinerary, but a selling variety is. ‘Tangfastics.’I whatever chemicals let the You’re in love with the sumer good for a difficult a buzz somehow, and nothing glimpse of your own private smile ruefully at this. In my universe reveal itself as benev- romance of travel, the reinven- niche: the idealistic ‘Kill-Your- comes for free. Before religion. younger days, I could gulp down a postprandial packet of Tangfastics as easily as if they were those sick- eningly bland health-food shop ‘sweets’ made out of fennel and The Pope must do more to stop AIDS acorns and guava, but I’m getting old now, and when I eat a packet mate two and a half million Condom – in its work. The of outright lies in order to turn a Russian roulette where if you I know I won’t be able to taste my To m AIDS related deaths. Infection ABC method, used by AIDS them away from condom use. lose you face almost certain food for days. That doesn’t always rates are increasing rather than education organisation They say that condoms have death. It is very difficult to con- stop me, of course. In fact, I often Ebbutt levelling off, in 2003 there were throughout Africa, recognises holes in them that let through ceive of how the Catholic have visions of myself in ten years’ approximately three million that there are many instances in the HIV/AIDS virus. They say church, particularly with the time: a beautiful, tear-soggy new infections. which the promotion of con- that condoms make you infer- new Pope’s forceful views on woman tries to tear a tub of While there are other means dom use is not appropriate. It is tile, that if you use them you are moral relativism, cannot see the Haribo from my hands. ‘Please, of infection the vast majority far from the aims of these not a man. They say that the saving of life already existing as Ned, no more! Unless you sell hough the white occur through sexual inter- organisations to encourage sex- West sends second-class con- equally worthy of protection as another story soon we won’t be smoke rising from the course. When sexual inter- ual activity: putting aside any doms to Africa which are likely the creation of new life. able to pay the gas bill!’ ‘Get away TSistine Chapel is course occurs there is only one moral agenda, though a con- to break if you use them. The Any continuation of this from me, Zelda, you loveless hag!’ meant to symbolise the means that provides almost cer- dom might be used from the most subtle method I heard of position seems certain to I end up stuffing Kiddie Mix bringing in of the new, Pope tain protection from first to the tenth time, if it is not was a priest who told his con- increase the drift towards secu- down her delicate, bird-like Benedict XVI threatens to HIV/AIDS infection and that on the eleventh, due to lack of gregation to go home, blow up a larisation that is occurring in throat, my vision blurring from mirror all that was most con- is the use of condoms. The condom and put it in a locked Europe, the Church’s tradition- tears and from sugar overdose. servative about the papacy Catholic Church, not believing The cycle of cupboard for a week. When you al heart. Perhaps it does not see She gets a divorce, and her that preceded him. Though in either sex before marriage or ignorance, open the cupboard the condom this as a problem. However lawyers steal away all the royalties steadfastness in the face of the prevention of conception, will have gone down, thus, he without a change in what it from my brilliant first novel. I die the winds of fashion is for believes condoms should not be misinformation said, proving that it has holes in preaches in Africa the cycle of alone... Alone but for my sweets... many what they respect the offered as a means of preventing and death it (rather than that no knot is ignorance, misinformation and But I digress. The only serious most about the Catholic HIV/AIDS. It believes that entirely airtight). death will continue. This will be alternative to the Regent Street Church, there is one issue abstinence before marriage availability or for whatever rea- The Catholic Church has a a tragedy of enormous conse- Convenience Store is Reynold’s where change has to occur. should be used to prevent the son, it gives the same chance of massive degree of moral leader- quences for which the Church Sweets on the corner of the mar- From within the comfortable spread of the virus. In the real infection as if it was not used it ship in many African countries; will have to bear at least part of ket. You’ll pay higher prices there, corridors of the Vatican it world, for many, though not all the first place. Therefore infor- where it leads others churches the responsibility. It is a tragedy but it’s often worth it, because may seem that this can wait. people, the idea of a complete mation on prevention is provid- and influential organisations at the moment which it is still they painstakingly separate the The reality on the ground is abstinence from sexual activity ed following the idea that you follow. Though the Church in within our power to prevent. individual sweets into different very different. for a sustained period of time is should A, and if you can’t do A Rome may not intend its doc- types and put them in little plas- How much can numbers ever an unrealistic fantasy. do B and if you can’t do B do C. trine to be translated in Africa Tom Ebbutt is a former editor tic wraps. In Paris, you can buy illustrate the true scale of a The Catholic aid agency If you don’t do C then you live in this way, this is the reality of of Varsity. He helps to run a whole packets of Haribo tragedy? Approximately 25 mil- CAFOD, which has partial with the threat of D. what it is preaching there. HIV/AIDS education project for a Crocodiles (my personal lion people in Africa are autonomy from the Church Though CAFOD’s stance is Though it is correct that, as charity which works in south-west favourite) from vending presently infected with itself, has begun to recognise progress, the majority of the the Church argues, the use of Kenya. The views expressed with- machines on the Metro (damn HIV/AIDS, two-thirds of all that this is the case and has harm caused by the Catholic condoms prevents the possibili- in the article are his own. The sta- the French!), but in this country those infected around the adopted the internationally Church’s stance continues to be ty of life, their absence, in coun- tistics in the article are from the you have to bootleg them. world. During 2003 the conti- recognised ABC method – done. In Kenya priests tell their tries where antiretrovirals are Joint United Nations Progam on Anyway, I know how I’ll be sur- nent bore the weight of an esti- Abstain, Be faithful, use a congregations a whole number almost entirely absent, produces HIV/AIDS. viving exam term. INTERVIEW www.varsity.co.uk April 29, 2005 13

Jowell’s culture shock: public apathy is partly the politicians’ fault

Culture Secretary Tessa Jowell talks to Kate Ward about the health of British democracy and the fight against apathy

essa Jowell fits in a public services’ but admitting the individual or rather the quick chat with Varsity that local issues carry more increasing engagement of Tbetween a visit to her weight and ‘translate more people in localised and mar- south London constituency meaningfully’ than numbers, ginal issues? and a meeting in Labour elec- statistics and national wran- Jowell sees the success of tion HQ. She admits the gling. ‘£700 million invest- small parties as part of the election is ‘quite fun, but ment in the NHS means less culture of local politics, she busy.’ And certainly you get than the personal guarantee reiterated her belief that in the impression Jowell is a that you know you won’t have modern politics ‘regional woman in demand. Unfairly to wait two weeks to see a identity is more important’ voted the ‘most obsequious’ breast cancer specialist.’ but she is quick to note that minister in the Labour gov- There seems a genuine ‘UKIP, BNP, Veritas all trade ernment, it appears Jowell’s desire to renegotiate the in one thing… people’s sense charm and ability to really realms of what politics can of grievance.’ Do these mar- engage with people make her be, and make a specific effort ginal parties serve any direct the figure of choice for push- to demonstrate how it can be purpose in the British politi- ing the New Labour policy in relevant to the lives of the cal system? Jowell is resolute all fields, above and beyond electorate. Party politics ‘the fact is that small parties her own of culture, media and seems in Jowell’s vision to be engage and pressure in what sport. Not so much the nanny if not secondary, then not can be a rather sectarian state, more of the mother necessarily the most impor- way…that’s fine, democracy duck of British politics. tant factor in modern politics, can and should withstand engagement and emphasis on that kind of debate.’ The importance of a the personal interests of the central lead figure is elecotrate the main project of Above all she is pas- the politicians of the future. nowhere more But there appear to be dan- sionate, exciting, evident than in the gers in this new spirit of per- and truly believes as sonal politics. Because, as much in the need proliferation of Jowell points out there is a fun- small parties that damental difference between for financial invest- we have seen in personal politics and the ment in the public increasing representation of the past politicians as individuals rather services as she does government term than party representatives. The for intellectual and value of personality in politics, ideological invest- In a bid to escape being specifically on questions of embroiled in the election integrity, has fostered according ment in public life fever, my opening gamdit is to some, a blurring of the dis- and politics an issue close to my own tinction of our public life and heart (and mind) - the ques- private world. The importance of smaller tion of apathy. Commentators According to Jowell howev- political parties insists Jowell have likened this election to er this is not the fault of the is that they force us to re- 1992 and are calling it the politician, more of their rep- examine what politicians can most boring election in recent resentation. She does not go and should discuss. By engag- history. Jowell however sees so far as to say that it is the ing with issues such as immi- things slightly differently. culture of the British public gration, and in debates and She argues that the label of and product of the press, but press coverage of the war in apathy does not sit well with this concern is present in her Iraq it leads according to the current political climate. comments. There is a danger Jowell to a more representa- Culture Secretary Jowell is tipped for a leading post in the next Blair cabinet, if Labour win on 5 May ‘I don’t think its apathy’ for Jowell asserted of ‘integrity tive and open political sys- apathy is ‘passive disengage- rather than issues taking tem. ‘At no point can people ment’: but in this election she precedence... in a sense polit- say we [politicians] do not of Information Act (FOI). accountability, celebrity aside feels the public are merely ical debate becomes Hello!’. listen… there are no issues we Jowell again is resolute argu- As Jowell points out, from party politics makes her demonstrating their desire for The importance of a central should be afraid to engage ing that the FOI has put gov- there is a difference a rare breed, especially only a a change from ‘traditional lead figure is nowhere more with.’ Jowell makes her point ernment accountability at the week away from a general politics.’ Jowell infers that a evident than in the prolifera- strongly and well, if all we can centre of democracy. Access between personal election. Most of all Jowell transformation of British pol- tion of small parties that we thank Robert Kilroy Silk, to information, she says, ‘is an politics and leaves me optimistic, for itics has and is taking place, have seen in the past govern- George Galloway et al for is important issue. And I’m glad the increasing rep- above all she is passionate, and now politics is something ment term. UKIP, Veritas, that they have forced the its an important issue.’ exciting and truly believes as more exciting, more relevant BNP and Respect all deserve political hand and in politics Is British politics in a good resentation of politi- much in the need for financial and more in tune with what note for their strong leaders. today no topic is off limits. state? From speaking to cians as individuals investment in the public serv- people care about. Does the success of small This is made even more Jowell my feeling is yes. Her ices as she does for intellectu- Jowell remains defiant parties represent more evi- true in the ‘culture of open- willingness to deal with real rather than party al and ideological investment insisting the ‘big idea is still dence of the importance of ness’ fostered by the Freedom political issues: democracy, members in public life and politics. 14 MAY WEEK PREVIEW April 29, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk

The First and Third Trinity Boat Club May Ball Monday 20 June £215 Double Non Dining; £294 Double Dining www.trinityball.co.uk

The 139th First and Third Trinity Boat Club May Ball takes place on 20th June in the spectacular surroundings of Trinity College with the kind permission of the Masters and Fellows. Renowned for its reputation as one of the biggest events in the Oxbridge Calendar the 2005 Trinity Ball brings top quality champagne, the finest oysters and a plethora of entertainment with something to suit everyone. Food and drink is supplied throughout the night, with tradition- al pig roasts, crêpes and cocktails, to new surprises in our main food tent and a wide range of non-alcoholic drinks. A limited number of guests can enjoy a champagne reception prior to a feast in the Great Hall before joining the rest of the Ball goers for the fireworks. Our world class fireworks are the official opening to the Ball, and mark the start of our main stage, which in the past has been host to Quantic Soul Orchestra, Supergrass and even the Beatles! However Trinity Ball is not just about the main stage, there is something for everyone, whether it is classical music, comedy or jazz, or whether

ve you would rather simply relax and enjoy the glorious backdrop that hi the College provides. rc The first Ball held in 1866 Ball was to celebrate the Trinity Boat Club winning the Bumps, and has since continued to provide cele-

arsity A brations for the end of exams, May Bumps and for some the end of V their time in Cambridge. Darwin May Ball Pembroke June Event: Friday 24th June £70 A Midsummer Night’s www.darwinmayball.com Dream This year Darwin invites you to Paris at the turn of Wednesday 22nd June the century. The time of £48 bohemian love and beauty, riches and dancing girls at Continuing the tradition of hosting the highest quality event in the Moulin Rouge. Cambridge, Pembroke June Event is preparing for the biggest Traditionally held on the crowd yet. last night of May Week, the This year, Pembroke invites you to celebrate the ancient fes- ball promises to present the tival of Midsummer with them. The journey will take you perfect finale to the May straight into the world of this all-time favourite Shakespeare Week celebrations. The col- comedy. Set in the beautiful grounds of Pembroke, it’s promis- lege becomes the stage: the ing to be an exciting night- so exciting you won’t notice the grounds, the river and the time fly by as you are having the time of your life! unique islands set the scene Along the way, indulge in a variety of foods and drink to suit for your May Ball experience. They invite you to a night of feasting every taste. Dance the night away with some of the best up- and frolicking, with food, drink and music to match your every and-coming acts, or take a few moments to enjoy one of our mood until the sun comes up and the curtain goes down. shows. And why not try your luck in the casino? You might even walk away with one of our fabulous prizes! Those fancying more action are invited to show their skill on the bucking bron-

Jesus May Ball: ve co and have a play on the inflatable. If it’s all getting a bit too hi much, take some time out and relax in our massage parlour. Let rc us take away all your stress so you feel refreshed and ready to Xanadu roll on!

arsity A With all of this at only £48, it’s the best value for money Monday 20 June V you’ll find this May Week! £85 Single Non Dining; £120 Single Dining www.jesusmayball.com The Jesus May Ball is the third biggest annual May Week event Emmanuel May Ball: and this year will continue the tradition of also being one of the best value and most fun balls, set in some of the most beautiful and extensive surroundings in Cambridge, which date from the 12th Monopoly Century. Themed after Xanadu – Kubla Khan, a poem written after an Monday 20th June opium-induced trip by Jesuan alumnus Coleridge, the 2005 Jesus £95 Single Non Dining; £125 Single Dining College May Ball will itself be a dream world, emulating the ‘state- www.emmamayball.com ly pleasure-dome’ described in the poem, with strong influences from the far-East. On Monday 20th June 2005, the Emmanuel College May Ball The food and drink will suit every palate, from fresh luxury Committee is bringing the world’s favourite board game to life! crepes to specialist cheese selection together with the highlights of Fresh from the success of 2003’s acclaimed ‘Wonderland’ Ball and Pimms, Sloe gin, cocktails, Whisky in the Gentlemen’s Club and last year’s fantastic June Event ‘Revive’, Emma is putting its own Bailey’s in the Ladies’ Powder Room. Chill out with green tea in unique spin on the Cambridge May Ball by inviting it’s guests to the massage marquee and finish the extravaganza with a compre- ‘Pass Go’ and join in the magic of ‘Monopoly’. hensive breakfast, both of the traditional cooked and freshly baked Those lucky enough to get their hands on tickets, which are now continental varieties. sold out, will be treated to a fabulous night. Combining the splen- Entertainment will as usual be first class. We have again planned dour of Emmanuel College with the excitement of a life-size trip a crowd-pleasing variety of performances and activities to top last round the Monopoly board, the Emma May Ball 2005 promises to year’s acts, New Zealand superstar Bic Runga and MOBO award be spectacular! winner Lynden David Hall. There will be four ents marquees with Guests will be able to visit Mayfair, the jewel in the Monopoly acrobatics, comedy, dance instruction, classical, jazz, close harmony, crown, before stopping off on the Old Kent Road for a flutter. traversing Trafalgar Square then run away to Piccadilly Circus! For a disco, a casino and more. These and a dedicated fun-fair area will Maybe the bright sparks in the Electric Company beckon? The one night only, Monopoly is the game where everyone wins. certainly prevent guests from getting bored. Angel, Islington will be open all hours if you can get out of Jail! Try Go Directly To Ball! Expr invitesRobinson May Ball you College tostepaboard theOrient thisyear’s offMay Kicking Week style, exuberant intraditionally www.robinsonmayball.co.uk £80 Dining £107,Non-dining Friday 17thJune Ball: Express Robinson CollegeMay ence. satisfiedaudi- witharapturous responselined theevent from avery year Last The Bluetones head- more than5metersfrom alcohol. you’re excellent valueformoneyitis rumoured With never Week. Renowned asone inMay throughout ofthebest event’s Cambridge www.thjuneevent.com £49 Wednesday 22June T u rfsinlCsn,there tobewon! are great prizes our professional Casino, orrolladicein meetAlCapone andhismolls, ters anddiversions, around gardens ourilluminated todiscover ahostof1920scharac- Europe’s most tempting cities.The old favourites, including theall-night including oldfavourites, Europe’s mosttemptingcities.The uniqueto wepromise foodand drink afineselection ofspeciality bilities; £65 SingleNonDining Wednesday 22ndJune Hughes HallBall food and drink and food anddrink centur Robinso thisyear’s committee islooking toconsolidate hours ofpure escapism’, Turkish bazaar. admire Venetian ofthe atthemysticism poiseandmarvel Parisian chic, Robinso uphold will ‘Express’ N-Trance, and theJames Taylor Quartet. Superstar, HarMar Athlete, include pastheadliners Infamous for ‘great music’, V your buddytoGiantSumo Wrestling. orchallenge the RodeoBull S Giant Play Jenga orConnect FourTwister, withyour palsinourgardens orvisitthe and Orchestra The Groove Fandango. Dance Piccadilly the including announced alineupofentertainment They’ve the 1920swasn’t butone thatrocked thatroared. anera an Paradisde with itselfintoaGangster’s istransforming Hughes Hall www.hughes.cam.ac.uk/mayball £ aloo isit ourMassageP Building on the success of last year’s ‘Mutiny’, which delivered which ‘nine Building on thesuccessoflastyear’s ‘Mutiny’, w 80 Single Dining, £160DoubleDining 80 SingleDining, vn usiga h em ihfapr n aon.Apparently burstingattheseamswithflappersandsaloons. event rinity HallEvent The scopeofthisyear’s themeallows forexciting gastronomic possi- ww.varsity.co.uk ess inorder tosamplethecosmopolitandelightsofear n y Europe. oha orFruetl.Releaseyour innergangsteron to hearyour Fortune told. n n’ srptto o otn is-ls,value-for-money Ball. ’s reputation forhostingafirst-class, s first-r syuaih tdsiain ln h ot,indulgein As you alightatdestinations along theroute, ate Entsline-upwhilealsopr ‘fir eworks… to rival the best of Cambridge balls’. thebestofCambridge torival eworks… ar lour whentheheatgetstoom , £130 DoubleNonDining o viding mouth-watering l uch! uch! t y wentieth S troll ev loose...And you”. it’s calling For oneBeast is nighta andsubmit tonature. of academe thr Cambr eaec ni h Epes reaches itsfinaldestination. untilthe decadence ‘Express’ andsoakupthe drink ensure will thatguestsdance, done best, always innovative coupledwiththeregular changes attractionsthatwe’ve Ball; letl efcl:one ofMay Week fun. andraucous japery perfectly: clientele fitsthedemandsoftheir which year workThey every toatemplate offwiththesameconsistent pulled senseofstyle. it’s always event, thetheme provides tothe ofstructure some sort While tequillas. a and bucking br and bucking c professional Dodgems makeawelcome return asdotheswingboats, wines alongside bar. thevodkalugeandprofessional cocktail andsparkling ofvintagestill withamedley from thefinetofun, range will attheBall served Drink premieres. made famousatLondon fountain, chocolate andtheoriginal crepes, luxury fine Italianice-cream, as additions return such along will withnew hog roast barbeque, and full Cambridge starsandmany others tobeconfirmed. Cambridge plusloadsofhomegrown Bad ScienceandHiphopratives, Swerve, ofthe Sons Tribe, Scrub, DJ, PORTISHEAD Andy Smith so promises tocombine with thefunkandfunofpastJuneEvents Ne www.kingsaffair.com £53 Wednesday 22ndJune King’s Affair Music r appearlikevisions inthemistaroundnotist andentertainers y ahyp- jazzsingers, Comedians, ofshishasmoke. sinking intoahaze Inhaledeeply, whocares? butthenagain, not failtolook your best, W at your bets Place salsalessons andsambabeatstoblow your mind. ing, withceilidhdanc- Enterthefrenzy with thepassions ofitsstudents. magic! well y helpbutmove andfunk-you cheese cannot ska, indie, Bhangra, hop, asino o soldout Althoughtickets ing your expectations againthissummer. tosurpass- committee TheMay Ball looks forward unquestionable. be thecalibre ofourmusical andcomedy actsin2005will Similarly, t ne hours. awake untiltheearly tokeepappetites variety there beunrivalled will more thanany other, a f ae Tuesday 21June T Date: St John’sMayBall to expectanumberofpleasantsurprises. besure guestscan Certainly, re-conceived. plansimaginatively court and arrangements withentry what hasbecome afamiliarformula, Thisyear’s to seeanumberofchanges will Ball ning architecture. useofthecollege’s makingfull stun- past, ourillustrious evoke will Theambienceofthe2005Ball tions ofthe The May experience. Ball www.stjohnsmayball.com a F Website: our f li t eena i ob h igs n et usswl,as will, Guests ulfil itsperennial aimtobethebiggestandbest. he RAG Auction. Charity night of dancing in jeans while sipping cocktails andswigging night ofdancinginjeanswhile sippingcocktails wy,b rae ofo n rn fgetqaiy And thisyear, ofgreat betreated tofoodanddrink quality. lways, gain faced the formidable taskofexceedinggain facedtheformidable people’s highexpecta- ent once you’re gettingtired andoysters andwouldrather ofballs n The tickets always sell out quickly. It’s the perfect midweek It’s theperfect outquickly. sell always The tickets hi est ie o atro h es ietee “Witness youTheir websitegives atasteroftheBeastliketheme: mething special, loigtesceso atya’ al thecommitteeonce have ollowing thesuccessoflastyear’s ball, ces Double£215;Dining11pm ickets: Join us for a night that will truly fuse the grandeur ofCambridge fusethegrandeur truly Join usforanightthatwill the poker table or run the labyrinth insearch ofthewhiterabbit. thelabyrinth the poker tableorrun t rehi us aevr,massagesandhennatattoosyou can- makeovers, ith free haircuts, bo rm,tehwso ortie Castoffthetattered rags thehowls ofyour trine. ob ofdrums, e eoehsaKn’ vn ens anfcn.King’s Affair beforever hasaKing’s beensomagnificent. event w The backs, under New Court’s imposing gaze, will betreated will toa imposinggaze, underNew Court’s The backs, D eua a alatatoscnas efuda oisn the alsobefoundatRobinson; can Regular May attractions Ball h a hywr eesd one beauctioned final pairwill offin the daywere they released, espite these transformations, The May Ball 2005 will strive to strive TheMay2005will Ball espite thesetransformations, , eet. emphasis with entertainments promisingemphasis tobespectacular. withentertainments idge’s hallowed spires engulfed by darkness, feel thepulsing feel idge’s hallowed spires bydarkness, engulfed makeo e ebrtsfo omt om rmadbs,R‘’B hip B, R ‘n’ andbass, drum from roomverberates toroom: The line-upinc v o ers andmassage nco. There will be something for everyone atthisyear’s There besomething foreveryone will nco. so £280; DoubleDining8.30pm£300 ehn oesmtos something more, mething more sumptuous, ludes pi 9 2005 April 29, im,pas htgahr inflatables, photographer, plays, films, , THE DE P AR UE DJMARKY, TURE, Robinson MayBall ou. A EKPREVIEW MAY WEEK event. oversubscribed toahugely gotenough tohave hold ofaticket forthoselucky tooswiftly passall andthenightwill activities, and class. man hard alongside the party enjoy music andentertainment, thevaried tosampleunforgettablefood, choose can they andcloisters courts Wandering through thescenic minds. last thingon therevellers’ experience. a betreated Dinerswill to availablethisyear. of non-dining tickets alimitednumber there beforthefirsttimeinitshistory will Ball, Traditionally dining anexclusively flowing night. all champagne insistingon guestsandproviding whitetieforall to itsorigins free- toremain Ball true Oxbridge theonly host itsbiennialMay Ball; On Wednesday isproud 22ndJune2005MagdaleneCollege to wwwmagdalenemayball.com £ Wednesday 22ndJune White Tie Magdalene MayBall: tio Q thesoulwithfinemusic orfeed andbeautifulsurroundings, drink, you your wishtofill stomachswithexquisite foodand Whether www.queensball.com Single £102;Double£204 T Queens’ MayBall B good thrower of parties” as Prince Charles described it. described asPrince Charles good thrower ofparties” livinguptoourreputation asa “singularly ofsummer, the start celebrationof andaglorious year be afittingendtotheacademic “ Previously voted inCambridge. locations finest andmostattractive beabletoenjoyguests will inone music ofthe andentertainments style, inafin-de-siecle Decorated inthemorning. early able toall t e he choice offinecuisinethroughout withbreakfasthe choice theBall avail- eto t id yHresadQen MagdaleneMaywill Ball andQueen, byHarpers best ofitskind” eigo h ak fteCm whilstnon-diners delightin will onvening thebanksofCam, uesday 21stJune all promisesall oftheseandadamnfinepiss-upaswell... tobeall sumptuous banquet designed by Marco Pierre-White early inthe sumptuous banquetdesignedbyMarco Pierre-White early 320 double dining, £240 double non dining £240double 320 doubledining, ueens’ May Ball will not disappoint. With its long running tradi- itslong running With notdisappoint. will May Ball ueens’ Guests will be overwhelmed by the choice ofrefreshments bythechoice and beoverwhelmed will Guests D As thesunsetso n cdne upuu xrvgneadeqiieeeac:the andexquisite elegance: sumptuousextravagance ecadence, y o xelne the21stofJunepromises tobeanunforgettable for excellence, ad n J,orsimpl bands andDJs, n the longest day of the year, sleep will bethe sleepwill the longest day oftheyear, y absorb theatmosphereabsorb ofelegance 15

Paul Troughton, www.occasionalphotography.co.uk /guide /stage /music /the rest

FRIDAY 29 QUEENS’ Grease ent SUPPER 19:30 Cambridge University Jewish Society UNION Pirates of the Carribean bop @ Student Centre,Thompsons Lane BOOZE 22:00 CULANU presents ONEG @ Culanu Centre SATURDAY 30 DEBATE 20:30 TrinPol and Queens’Political Society Election Debate: David Howarth Lib Dem PPC vs Ian Lyon, Conservative PPC @ Trinity College Old Combination Room SUNDAY 1 YOGA 17:30 Weekly yoga - Hatha Martin Bond @ Fitzwilliam Reddaway Room

MONDAY 2 21:00 Corpus GODS present Noonday Demons FEZ Fat Poppadaddys Funky and soulful sounds YOGA 17:30 Weekly yoga - Hatha Martin Bond @ Fitzwilliam Reddaway Room CLASSICAL13:15 Russian Music Festival @ Clare Chapel CLASSICAL20:00 Festival Opening Concert @ Clare Chapel

TUESDAY 3 21:00 Corpus GODS present Noonday Demons LIFE Unique CUSU’s lesbigay night YOGA 17:30 Weekly yoga - Hatha Martin Bond 19.45 ADC ADC present A Delicate Balance BALLARE Top Banana CUSU ents flagship night @ Darwin Common Room or Gardens 23.00 ADC Footlights Smoker FEZ Ebonics Mix of hip hop, dancehall, reggae YOGA 19:40 Iyengar Mark Singleton JUNCTION Mylo @ King’s Chetwynd Room CLASSICAL13:15 Russian Music Festival @ Clare Chapel CLASSICAL20:00 Festival Opening Concert @ Clare Chapel

WEDNESDAY4 21:00 Corpus GODS present Noonday Demons BALLARE Rumboogie Cheese CLASSICAL13:15 Russian Music Festival @ Clare Chapel 19.45 ADC ADC present A Delicate Balance FEZ Mi Casa Tu Casa International snight CLASSICAL20:00 Festival Opening Concert @ Clare Chapel 23.00 ADC HATS present The Age of Consent KING’S BAR Kieran Halpin Concert

THURSDAY 5 21:00 Corpus GODS present Noonday Demons FEZ Wild Style Award winning night of hip hop 19.45 ADC ADC present A Delicate Balance 23.00 ADC HATS present The Age of Consent www.varsity.co.uk April 29, 2005 LISTINGS 17

You are cordially invited to attend Own a PC? We have £1300 The Annual Semitic to give away! Philology Lecture Why not put it to work? Semitic Languages in an SamSam SmileySmiley King's College would like to Afro-Asiatic Perspective Up to £1,000-£2,500 pm encourage applicants for Professor Andrzej Zaborski 68 Trumpington Street around existing schedule the Stephen Glanville Fund, which Jagiellonian University of Krakow this year has £1300 to donate for 5.00pm, Tuesday 10th May, 2005 any The Runcie Room, Faculty of Special Offer www.heapofcash.co.uk 'charitable or educational Divinity, West Road (Sidgwick Site) purpose within the College, Followed by a reception Free Large Filter Coffee or University or City of The Semitic languages form a House to let, North Cambridge'. sub-group of a larger group of languages known as Afro-Asiatic. The Cambridge, July,August. lecture will take a broad look at this or Tea with any filled

Two bedrooms, garden, The fund is in memory of a linguistic relationship and discuss, former Professor of Egyptology among other things, its implications for quiet, light, and Provost of the College. the reconstruction of prehistoric product before 10.30am. population movements, the light it casts Good neighbourhood. on several issues of Semitic philology Bicycle to centre 15 min. For further details, such as the background of the Hebrew available from 11.00am please see verbal system and the question as to £ 775 p/m excluding bills. whether Arabic is the most archaic Semitic language. 01223 363761 http://www.kings.cam.ac.uk/news /glanvilleDetails.html [email protected] ALL ARE WELCOME Only £1.50

Writinghawk TC announce Cambridge Mummers announce Pembroke Players AUDITIONS for AUDITIONS FOR their Edinburgh Fringe Tourshow The ADC and Footlights announce... Applications to direct in "Relatively speaking" by Mark Wainwright at the Hill Street rom.com APPLICATIONS are now open to Michaelmas Term Theatre, Edinburgh 18-29 August 1-4pm Sat 30th Apr, (1) WRITE and (2) DIRECT Deadline 9th May@9am. King’s College Chetwynd Room Parts: 2 male, early 20s the 2005 ADC/Footlights Christmas Pantomime. Information online at 1 male and 1 female, approx 60 1-4pm Sun 1st May Please send your applications to Ben Deery (bpd23) and Simon Bird www.pembrokeplayers.org King’s College Keynes Hall (sab77) by FRIDAY 13th MAY. OCR, Trinity College Interviews will be held on the 21st and 22nd of May. Or contact Ben Irving Saturday 30 April, 12-6pm Various parts including male lead For details about how to apply, please consult www.cuadc.org (baji2) Contact: Alex Clay, 07946 351051 Contact: sjm211

TWELFTH NIGHT by William Shakespeare 20th-23rd June 2005 BLOOD WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE AUDITIONS FOR The ADC Edinburgh Audution times: PRESSURE 2-6pm, Peterhouse Music Room, ‘The Lion the Witch and the production of Sat 30th April & Sun 1st May STUDY Wardrobe’ Adapted by Adrian Mitchell About the production: Set amidst the high society of the Auditions for this diverse and colourful ASTRAKHAN 1920s, it will be smart, sexy and EARN £15 Mayweek production will be held from

12-6pm, Sat 30th April and Sun 1st May at hilarious, but most of all, human. With an excellent team, including Emmanuel College. WINTER veterans of the ADC, Marlowe 1 hour visit performed in town centre for your Society, Edinburgh Fringe, and a is looking for a director who toured Vancouver in convenience. 2003 performing in Twelfth Night - Please contact Rachel Westcott this will be a great priduction! Interested in joining us? Come along (Research Nurse) at: [email protected], Male Lead of Laurence Moss TECHNICAL to the friendly and fun auditions! or tel: (01223) 586 852 required for Edinburgh Fringe production of Further info: Any further questions? Vascular Research Clinics, University of Cambridge Abigail's Party DIRECTOR Email Krystina on flyingnelly@hot- mail.com for more details. Audition dates/times: For more info or to apply 12-4pm, Saturday 30th April Produced by: The Heywood Society, Peterhouse Sunday 1st May contact: erew2 Theatre & Film Society Emmanuel College EDINBURGH FESTIVAL 2005 Solve your accommodation Great tasting, great problems by calling Carole Smith /Anne Goring value pizza for on 01620 810 620 email address: [email protected] delivery or write to Festival Flats, 3 Linkylea Cottages, Gifford, East Lothian, and collection EH41 4PE Dominos, Cambridge: 01223 355155 www.festivalflats.net 27 Hills Road, Cambridge, CB2 1NW 18 SCIENCE April 29, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk Health-checking the General Election You are what you eat, but ultimately your health depends on your vote

Zoe Smeaton by over 271,000 individuals to promising to improve the rr support his Feed Me Better health of the entire nation,

s May 5th approaches, campaign. He has highlighted young and old, by offering a llen Ke and the fight to pro- the health issues faced by variety of solutions to the A Amote manifestos and schoolchildren and aims to crumbling NHS. win support continues, health persuade all schools to replace One issue taking centre and health-related topics have ready-made food with more stage in the health debate is emerged as the most important nutritious options prepared the age-old question of wait- election issue to many Britons. from scratch. ing times. Patients across 20% of respondents in an ICM The infamous ‘turkey twiz- Britain are again demanding poll this month (for the zler’ seems to have forced its reduced delays in receiving Sunday Telegraph) rated health reclaimed and over-processed treatment and operations, as ‘the most important issue to way into every election mani- despite Government figures them in making their voting festo. Labour has pledged an showing an improvement of decision for this election’ – a extra £280m to improve school the situation in recent years. higher proportion of voters meal ingredients and catering Department of Health figures than chose any other issue. staff training, and to provide reveal that at the end of In March, following the suc- an independent School Food January 2005, 861,900 people cess of his Channel 4 series Trust to advise schools on in England were awaiting Jamie’s School Dinners, quietly healthier eating for pupils, treatment, compared with Collegiate Council for to the foreground by high pro- incidence of MRSA.’ conservative celebrity chef whilst the Conservatives have 969,400 at the same time in Oncology) as standards for file deaths such as that of 36- Whilst the parties continue to Jamie Oliver captured the also promised to promote 2004. Labour believes that good practice. hour-old baby Luke Day in argue over where the blame nation’s interest in health con- health amongst children by this trend would continue On top of evidence from February. should lie, they are all agreed cerns, presenting the Prime improving opportunities for under their leadership, with such individual case studies, The Conservative manifesto that MRSA is a major health Minister with a petition signed sports and exercise as part of a the goal that by 2008 there the Liberal Democrats claim states that ‘rates of the super- issue and needs to be tackled. nationwide ‘Club2School’ should be ‘no one waiting that the Government’s waiting bug MRSA have doubled since Labour wants to ‘consult on new scheme. This initiative gives more than 18 weeks from list figures are deceptive as 1997’, and the Liberal laws to enforce higher hygiene every child ‘the right to choose referral to treatment.’ they do not include people Democrats believe this to be standards,’ the Conservatives two hours of after-school sport For many, however, this awaiting tests and scans to the fault of the Government’s plan to give Local Inspection with qualified coaches’, win- ‘progress’ is still not good enable doctors to confirm waiting time targets for hospi- Teams the powers to lead the ning the party brownie points enough. A report published in their need for treatment. tals. They say that ‘under fight, and the Liberal with the experts in the fight Clinical Oncology in 2004 (by They say that these ‘hidden Labour, waiting time targets Democrats intend to ‘scrap against obesity. The Liberal Ash, Barrett, Hinks and waiting lists’ make waiting are more important than fight- political targets which hamper Democrats similarly intend to Squire) suggested that in fact lists and times much larger in ing superbugs’ and ‘almost half the fight against infection.’ increase children’s physical the waiting times for certain reality, putting public health at of hospital managers had said It is difficult to be sure activity levels, through encour- treatments had increased further risk. that Government targets which strategy would be most aging safe walking and cycling between 1998 and 2003. A But for some voters, it is not caused conflicts with their effective at solving the MRSA to school via supervised ‘Safe national audit was carried out the waiting list which poses a efforts to control infections.’ problem, but whatever voters’ Routes to School’. of all centres offering radio- lethal threat, but the hospitals Labour however places the opinions on the parties’ indi- Whilst the promotion of therapy treatment to cancer themselves. Hospital acquired blame for these problems on vidual policies may be, it seems children’s health has a position patients in the UK, and the infection, particularly the the Conservatives, whom they certain that their views on in each of the three major par- results showed that in 2003 MRSA (methicillin-resistant believe should have worked to these and other health issues ties’ manifestos, the whole fewer patients were being Staphylococcus aureus) ‘super- destroy MRSA in the early will play a major role in decid- country is facing a healthcare treated within the time limits bug’, has become a headline 1990’s but instead ‘did not ing the outcome of the next crisis. As a result, politicians are set by the JCCO ( Joint issue in recent month, pushed even keep records about the General Election.

Cambridge scientists are still Politicians & Paedophiles reaching for the skies! Jamie Horder with a postpubertal male’ and that most abuse goes unreported become abusers) only about 10% questions, Owain Vaughan another American study at the time. of male victims of sexual abuse spends a day on the arts-sci- he release of Jonathan revealed that nearly two thirds of With the right resources go on to commit abuse in future, ences frontline and Nerissa King in March after a jail men fantasized about sex with though, some attempt can be and the majority of abusers were Hannink leaves the lab for the Tsentence for comitting young girls, with one in three made at rehabilitation. not previously victims. bright lights of Hollywood. serious sexual offences on boys enjoying the idea of adult rape. Paedophilia is a mental health It has been suggested than BlueSci is produced by CUSP aged 14 and 15, protesting his A frightening study of male col- issue, with scope for detailed paedophiles have an impaired (Cambridge University innocence and likening himself scientific research by psycholo- ability to control their sexual Scientific Productions), in asso- to Oscar Wilde, brought pae- Paedophilia gists.The condition is defined as impulses as a result of certain ciation with Varsity, and copies dophilia into the media spotlight appears to have a sexual attraction to pre- forms of brain damage that may are are available alongside once again. prubescent children and is one have origins in childhood expe- Varsity, in libraries and in com- Any mention of the issue, faded from of a group of psychiatric disor- riences or genetics, and most mon rooms. Point your browser from the Daily Mail and TV’s political focus ders known as ‘paraphilias’, paedophiles also suffer from at www.bluesci.org if you would Brass Eye to the recent film The which encompass exhibitionism other mental health problems. prefer to read BlueSci Online, Woodsman, is guaranteed to gar- lege students put the number of and necrophilia. Factors as diverse as being the which is kept packed with up- ner a reaction, whether it is heat- those attracted to young girls at Victims, especially women, second or third male child in to-date news and events list- ed debate or targeting of sus- 21%, with 7% saying they would face an increased risk of psychi- your family, hormonal imbal- ings, as well as all articles and pected individuals with system- act upon their impulses if they atric problems in later life ances, and suffering head injury PDFs of the print edition. atic hate campaigns. could do so without detection. including depression, eating dis- as a child are all correlated with BlueSci is Cambridge’s only If you have a passion for Paedophilia is a controversial Whilst this data was collected orders, and drug abuse. paedophilia. Various treatments popular science magazine writ- communicating science, or sim- topic in both legal and political in America, and so does not But what of the abusers? The are available which show some ten and produced by members ply want to try your hand at terms, yet it appears to have directly relate to the situation in vast majority are male – just one success, including counselling of the University, and has working as part of a magazine faded from political focus in the Britain, the fact that these fig- in thirty is a woman - and most and drugs, but medical inter- returned for a new issue, bigger team, get in touch with us at run-up to the election. This is ures are likely to be underesti- are attracted only to girls. vention is difficult when victims and better than ever. [email protected]. If you’re alll the more surprising given mates should be a major cause Despite the popular image of a are too scared or too ashamed to The Easter term edition, out about to graduate and would how widespeard the issue for concern for police, social ‘dodgy’ stranger kidnapping come forward. today, boasts an extended like to keep up with the world appears to have become - in workers and politicians alike. children in the playground, only But alongside rehabilitation, ‘Focus’ section which explores of Cambridge science, why not Britain, a recent poll estimated Perhaps the main problem in a small number of the victims of some responsibilty must be the issues surrounding the take out a subscription to that 12% of girls and 8% of boys dealing with paedophilia arises paedophiles are unknown to taken for the wider affects of Hubble Space Telescope and BlueSci? Visit our website for are subject to sexual abuse, and from the stigma attached to the their assailants and the majority sexual abuse. Whether it is for unmanned missions to the more information or email sub- the NSPCC places the figure issue. Many people are under- of child abusers already have a the abuser, the abused, or those planets. Further exciting fea- [email protected]. even higher, at one in five chil- standably reluctant to admit an close relationship with their vic- incorrectly accused, appropriate tures investigate mobile phones, As far as science journalism dren. attraction to children and the tims, with about half being their help must be made available at a synaesthesia, quantum mechan- in Cambridge is concerned, the Kinsey’s famous survey of attempt to discover what pro- parents or step-parents. local and national level if the ics and even the Mediterranean future’s bright, the future’s Blue. America in the 1950s revealed portion of people experience Whilst some evidence seems current situation is to improve. Sea. All your favourite regulars Jonathan Zwart, Editor that 24% of women reported sexual contact with adults as to support the ‘cycle of abuse’ Surely it’s time for the politi- return as Dr Hypothesis ‘prepubescent sexual experience children is hindered by the fact theory (victims going on to cians to step in? answers more of your burning www.bluesci.org V

29.04.05 al v ilm Festi arsity an F ic fr y of the Cambridge A ese t Cour

Algerian film Keltoum’s daughter, which will be showing at the Arts Picturehouse in May wenty-ft reinforced metal gates pick of the week were stopping me and several Tthousand others from getting in - all equally determined, pummelling Ouga Saga Music: Wiley + our fists against the unbeatable barrier, Ruff Squad half-scowling, half-pleading with the Clare Cellars, Fri 29th, soldiers on the other side. However, Sarah Jones is enchanted by 21.00 not equally equipped, myself and my Don’t pass up this new South African friends possessed Africa’s biggest film festival chance to see the the festival pass (laminated plastic grime MC, who’s stepping out from gold). Joan Legalamitlwa, afro-ed and beers and blaring warm sweet music Tasuma- le feu possesses a similar com- Dizzee Rascal’s shadow to make a name sporting Jackie-O-on-acid sunglasses, are awaiting outside. But everyday, ical genius, but in a completely differ- Arts for himself as one of Britain’s finest shoved her pass through one of these two or three films would transport my ent manner.An endearingly stubborn young talents. gaps, nearly suffocating when a soldier mind elsewhere, into stories and alle- retired soldier cycles 50km to town yanked it through without realising it gories from across the continent- on all every day to claim his pension, and is was round her neck. The gates opened themes and in all styles. Un Amour turned back every afternoon. His opti- Film: and we were let in, along with a dozen D’Enfant, by Senegal’s Ben Diogoye mism gets the better of him, so he buys Hitchhiker’s others, the soldiers unable to stem the Beye, intimately portrayed the bitter- a corn grinder for the women of his Guide to the flow- tragically, two children died that sweet confusion of first attraction, village (on credit), resulting in a cli- Galaxy day, and we witnessed some rather vio- half-realised jealousy, and loss. Kare mactic tale of debt, female rebellion Arts Picturehouse, lent crowd control- but the excitement Kare Zwako (Mother’s Day) is and riotously released frustrations (I from Friday caused by the largest film festival in Zimbabwean writer Tsitsi wonder if it’s the English in me that See how Cambridge Africa taking place in the world’s fifth Dangarembga’s allegorical tale of a enjoyed the latter). alumnus Douglas Adam’s chaotic sci-fi poorest country is inevitable. And mother struggling to keep her spirit The end result: the grand prize comedy translates onto the big screen. totally justified. alive in the face of shocking (and won- went to a film about an anti-apartheid Just don’t expect a sensible answer to Inside, over 40,000 people were derfully gruesome - you’ll see what I hero (who in real-life did not have an the meaning of life. gathered to see some of West Africa’s mean if you watch this film) cruelty American accent). South Africa’s most famous musicians play for them, from her husband - with surreal musi- Hollywood storyline and acting won for free, in a spirit of inspiration and cal numbers thrown in. the day (politics, politics) tarnishing Art: Images en independence from a world of troubles. what was an otherwise truly inde- Masse Rap lyrics reclaimed the right of Africa a frenzy of stand-hop- pendent festival. Let’s just hope that CB2, throughout May to dream, and frenetic beats excited the ping, hand-waving and the originality and inspiration of films An exhibition by thousands into a frenzy of stand-hop- at FESPACO can continue and Bethe Bronson, to ping, hand-waving and general general unchecked joy become a part of the cultural dialogue include alternative unchecked joy. FESPACO (Festival and mutual respect needed both photographic tech- Pan Africain du Cinéma et de la These films are rendered all the inside Africa and in its relations with niques; pinhole, gum bichromate, cyan- Télévision de Ouagadougou) is held more brilliant for their triumph against the rest of the world. otype and digital. biannually in the capital of Burkina the difficulties of producing films in Faso, a small country north of Ghana, Africa- lack of funding, hostile author- The Cambridge African Film Festival- and as the circus rolls into town, as the ities, etc. mean that the films that do 4th to 14th May at the Arts Picturehouse, pasty foreigners step off their air-con- get made involve deep dedication and brings you the finest of FESPACO’s films. ditioned aeroplanes into the heat and belief. However, many achieve top Opening event: Archipelago!, 4th May Theatre: A the glorious beats of West Africa, production values, South Africa in par- @Kambar, featuring DJs and live per- Delicate Ouagadougou opens its arms and ticular (which often receives external formers £5 (£3 with festival pass). Balance throws the wildest, most surreal party funding- with mixed results). ADC Theatre, 3rd-7th many people will ever experience, However, the two most inspiring Diaspora Voices in association with Clare May, 19.45 everyone a friendly exotic stranger to films, in my opinion, were from Poetry, 9th May, Clare cellars (7pm, £3). Albee’s Pulitzer-Prize everyone else, all united by a passion for Burkina. A piercingly sharp and dark- Academic Forum with Ken Wiwa and winning play, set in Africa and a love of film. And a desire ly comic film about genocide in a Tsitsi Dangarembga: Living Memory in the heart of middle class suburban to leave the most impressive mark. nameless African State, La Nuit de la African Film and Literature. America promises to be both horribly Watching four to five films a day Vérité, centres upon a reconciliatory tragic and wonderfully funny. fries the brain, especially when fully feast, but ends in the barbequing of the See www.cambridgeafricanfilmfestival. conscious of the fact that Africa, cool rebel leader by the president’s wife. co.uk for more details.

FIRST PAST THE POST IT FASHION, PAGE 29 A MIDSUMMER DAY’S CREAM THEATRE, PAGE 22 HE’S GOT A BEE IN HIS BONNET MUSIC, PAGE 20 MERELY MODERN FILM, PAGE 25 20 MUSIC April 29, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk

NEW IN 2005 #6

YM-S-S Terribly smorgas-bored The Hives ing air of creativity. of enigma to what is otherwise However, for some reason, ‘Howlin’’ Pelle Almqvist more The band’s songs are sup- obvious and predictable. If he Hives fans still haven’t got bored, than lived up to his name - Corn Ex – 26 April posedly penned by a mysteri- was real, at least he’d be an as they showed with their raptur- strutting, spitting and high- Review by Arthur House ous svengali named Randy eminence grise that the boys ous reception on Saturday night. splitting his way through the set Fitzsimmons, a shrewd mar- in noir et blanche would be But the punters on display spoke in a way that was eminently s the Hives careered keting ploy that lends a sheen able to replace. volumes about the band’s appeal; watchable, although his new through an energetic set they consisted entirely of either moustache did get a bit sweaty. Not strictly a new artist, hav- Aat the Corn Exchange on 14 or 40 year olds, with some Drummer Chris Dangerous ing released their debut Saturday night, I found myself entire families (settled in the did his best to make a variety of Hurrah! Another year, surely this convinced that the Swedish five- House seating enclosure) boasting both monolithic of rhythms look

one will be better than the last; some were reprising the same thur categories. Shrieking teens in impressive, whilst the fat one and

the inexorable march of pro- song again and again. Very little Ar eyeliner taking their first tenta- the bald one offered a certain gres...last August, Youthmovie of their new album tive steps towards adolescent amount of comedic value purely Soundtrack Strategies’ word- Tyrannosaurus Hives does any- rebellion went home feeling safe- by being fat and bald. limit mocking moniker and thing to challenge the deep-seat- ly anti-establishment, whilst The star of the show, howev- song titles suggest a penchant ed judgment that brashness alone balding dads were assured by the er, was undoubtedly guitarist for po-faced quiet-rock a la A can’t make up for a lack of song- sharp suits and blues riffs that Nicolaus Arson, whose efforts to Silver Mt. Zion. But any band writing ability. this wasn’t just a band for their steal the limelight from Almqvist mixing disorienting tempo Recent singles ‘Walk Idiot kids to enjoy. Unfortunately this all evening were finally rewarded changes, a capella breaks, soar- Walk’, ‘Two Timing Touch and polarised demographic attests to during the encore. Failing to pull ing harmonies and face- Broken Bones’ and ‘See Through the Hives’ lack of appeal for the off one of the most ambitious smashing riffs into schizo- Head’ do exactly the same thing likes of you and me, who are of manoeuvres in rock, the swing- phrenic yet coherent blasts, as old favourites ‘Main Offender’ course the only people that count your-guitar-round-back-of- can brush off accusations of and ‘Hate To Say I Told You So’, at Varsity Towers. your-head-and-catch-it-again pretention and wankery with with guitar and bass parts But there are signs that the trick, the hapless Arson required ease. Kicking up a low-key fuss anchored firmly around the root elusive Randy knows that his the prolonged attention of a consonant with their impecca- note and vocals relentlessly plug- writing-by-numbers days are, strap-untangling roadie, eventu- bly underground credentials, ging that familiar old blues inter- well, numbered. New songs ally resuming his Telecaster recent single Ores showcases val - the minor third. ‘Love in Plaster’ and ‘No Pun duties just as the song came them at their wildly creative By subscribing to the single Intended’ betray (gasp!) melodic crashing to an end. best, and in a major blow for punk currency of power chords progressions, whilst ‘Diabolic The Hives have spent nearly a lazy exam-term journalism, whilst refusing to look beyond Scheme’ is positively revolution- decade copying old bands and defies easy categorisation. This the blues for inspiration, the ary with its plodding synth and forgetting to write any tunes, and their debut EP alone pack Hives are stuck in a hard place replica strings parts. That this but I left wondering whether enough energy, inventiveness that’s nowhere near a decent song is plainly against the diktat this last stunt intentionally and emotive power to defecate heavy rock. It’s a limited for- of the Hives faithful was amply recalled not a great rock band messily all over your favourite mula that can be successful, demonstrated by Almqvist’s but a great rock parody, Spinal band’s oeuvre. Probably (fellow Swedes Millencolin do request before its rendition that Tap, with its immortal ‘cocoon’ it far better than them), but the they employ “flexible thinking”. set-piece. If so, the Hives are Was Yaqoob Hives straitjacket themselves At least there was the solace taking rip-offs to new levels www.ymss.org.uk so tightly as to deny themselves of the band’s live antics to liven whilst taking music nowhere. any room to breathe the brac- Howlin’ Pelle Almqvist: someone get that man a razor. up their musical blandness. www.hivesmusic.com m er Pissed but sharp T Piss Up Look Sharp And, there are occasions when but inexplicably repetitive, The Union - 11 March glitches become cringeworthy, and horrible when that all of the and the harm to momentum crap chart drum ‘n’ bass comes Review by Jon Swaine irritating. But the songs they on at about 1am.

nd so it came to a close - play - mixing Bloc Party with Whatever the opinions of its lbum Piss Up Look Sharp Dizzee Rascal with Madonna critics, it seems practically A Awent out at the end of simply aren’t played elsewhere, undeniable that this has been Lent Term in one final blaze of which - perhaps rightly - pro- one of those rarest of things in Maxïmo Park MIA Vitalic that infamous ‘ostentatious ama- vides them with a grateful the realm of Cambridge student A Certain Trigger Arular OK Cowboy teurishness’ that has so split audience willing to overlook ents - a success whose popular- opinions on the night since its the night’s bashful flaws. ity has allowed its continuation, Paul Epworth might be the The first debate is whether Vitalic’s Poney EP, about the inception last year. Piss Up Look Sharp filled a let alone demanded it. For that least-famous saviour of main- MIA is ‘for real’. I’m not going abuse of fairground ponies, is Yes, the DJing wasn’t as pro- simple, smart niche: supplying it should be applauded, while its stream British music ever. to delve into her history to now four years old, but there’s fessional as it should or even danceable, alternative music to downsides would be best for- Within ten months, under his decide whether she’s justified to still songs from it here. Nothing could have been. Yes, there were the crowd for whom The Fez’s gotten in a Smiths-sound- production, debut albums by The make these sounds, though it changes: Vitalic is still all about a few too many pretty faces pre- Fat Poppadaddy’s night is ok, tracked, tipsy haze. Futureheads, Bloc Party and now might be a different matter if I throbbing basslines, soaring ferring to bar-prop and pout Maxïmo Park have formed a didn’t like it. The second is hor- keyboard screams, thrashing than indulge in any reckless spiky triumvirate of hope, sooth- ribly political: whether the guitars and wandering synths abandon on the dancefloor. ing fears of the genre’s further album, named after her father, merging together - an awesome And yes, the music policy was slip into obsolescence. But while is somehow in support of the soundscape of pure noise-pop M-V-D-B

fairly ‘ridiculous’. But, it must t his trademark treatments of Tamil Tigers terrorists in Sri bliss. The vocals are either be borne in mind that this real- r clipped guitars, none-more-crisp Lanka. This is not the struggle generic or are so far distorted lbe

ly was the point all along. A drums and basslines to weep for that is usually touched on in you can’t make out what is said. To analyse the night on any has played its part, none of this music, and without any facts of There’s a sense of perfect timing deeper level would be futile and could have been achieved with- the situation I’m not endorsing in this record - sounds like misguided. This was a £1-a- out fantastic content. A Certain stringing her as we’re happy to nothing you’ve heard before pint student party, not an Trigger is a suitable revelation: do when her Dancehall influ- sound like they’ve always been attempt at recreating something singles ‘Apply Some Pressure’ ences advocate genocide of there. It’s so obviously man- like Nag Nag Nag in the and ‘Graffiti’ are easily matched homosexuals. I’ll let you decide made, yet seems totally natural. Cambridge Union - which, by by newer stock such as ‘Limassol’ for yourself - this album is vital, Vitalic has come at precisely the the way, provided an oddly and ‘Acrobat’, whose slow, spo- her voice is infectious, the tunes right time, merging techno, rock effective venue for the evening’s ken-word verses have no right to mesmerise. It comfortably sits and electropop into one emo- proceedings. work as beautifully as they do. alongside last year’s Le Tigre tion-packed block on which to Duties at the DJ booth (ok, The perfect lean, carefully-craft- and this year’s Lady Sovereign gorge. Go on, try telling me you ok - table) were met once ed gift for a poor, defenceless albums. If it’s eligible, expect aren't spontaneously forced to again by Tarantulasaurus, Ellen Summer, helplessly awaiting the MIA to be picking up the hug yourself every time ‘Poney the Enchantress & the White moral abomination of Oasis’ lat- Mercury Prize come Pt 1’ kicks in. Sorry, but I won't Bitch, and Jollyboy Ram & est bloated pub-rock disaster. September. believe you. Zanatan the Great - all of whom, it should be made clear, Jon Swaine Sam Blatherwick Sam Blatherwick have links with Varsity.In terms of technical ability, they Released on May 16th Available now through XL Available now through Pias do indeed regularly fall short. Piss Up Look Sharp’s DJs relax by leaning against a wall through Warp Recordings Recordings MUSIC www.varsity.co.uk April 29, 2005 21

Politics and Pretension Summer Songs: everyone has one,here’s our top 5 1) California Dreamin’ Was Yaqoob on the enigma that is post-rock Any of the versions, but preferably Bobby Womack’s. I have a friend, one other than A visit to www.cstrecords.com, not the time to be frittering 2) Sunday Shining Haribo, Kleenex and my trusty home to all three bands makes away playing in a silly-assed Finley Quaye’s finest hour - Jo Whiley’s Live Lounge performance was top-notch right hand. He asks me why I clear that their vision of rock post-rock band’. waste time listening to ‘post-rock’. envisages support for label inde- We are rarely influenced into 3) Golden Brown Why wade through 25 minutes of pendence, openly critical politic action by political post-rock, let The Stranglers - no explanation needed for this one. murmuring and reverb-soaked stances, and bands-as-democratic alone of the sort the artists would cowbells to hear a single chord- collectives. This constitutes a approve of. Often I’m more 4) Under the Bridge change with the all the dramatic stand against the commodifica- appreciative of the hope that the Definitely NOT the All Saints version - no one can touch the Chillis on this masterpiece. impact of a bored sigh? What tion and fetishising of increasing- indie girl in my lectures might does ‘post-rock’ even mean? ly trite rock/punk idioms that hear snatches of patience but 5) Vivaldi’s Four Seasons Unfortunately, of all the fuzzi- could be outlets for intelligent righteous 43 minute white-noise ‘Spring’ and ‘Summer’, for obvious reasons - we reccommend the Academy of Ancient ly-defined musical genres that expressions of political dissent. So interlude playing in my head- Music’s (led by Christopher Hogwood) 1982 recording. multiplied after the fall of punk, post-rock is like, political, man. phones, and infer that in bed, I’m few defy clarification more. The Given this diversity it seems just as uncompromising and most obvious characteristics of easier to define what post-rock innovative as my favourite post- ‘classic’ post-rock bands such as reacts against rather than what rock band. Mogwai and Labradford, howev- it is. Admittedly, using easy Their fanbases fetishise and General Election Blues er, are their departures from rock targets like The Others or commodify these bands just as Jon Swaine on musical manifestos conventions- no frontmen, Kasabian as an example is like much as we do to others, even if unconventional song structures attacking a sleeping toddler, they do it because of the attrac- 'Did you lie to us, Tony? We and Blair became 'Bliar'. and varied instrumentation go from behind, with a cruise tiveness of their philosophy rather thought you were different; now But perhaps we should be alongside receptiveness to jazz missile. than because say, they are hot in you know we're not so sure' relieved. As every healthily self- and electronica influences. Camden right now. Hence I own growls a desperate Thom Yorke righteous student knows, music For example, the Canadian col- What does ‘post-rock’ a Godspeed t-shirt, which would in Radiohead's 'Follow Me should be the voice of sceptical lective Godspeed You Black even mean? probably make Efrim Menuck Around'. Coming from someone youth, not the foie-gras-fattened Emperor! forge the music of hal- want to shit on my head. with such a penchant for lyrical bedfellow of establishment. lucinogenic nightmares set in Unfortunately, issues emerge Scenestership and pretensions are opacity, the bluntness of his rhet- Politicians' dalliances with pop post-apocalyptic landscapes. in the artist-audience relation- unpalatable but often inescapable oric is telling. It was all so differ- music seem to fail in a cringewor- Building intense, dynamic walls ship that compromise the aspects of post-rock fandom. ent back in 1997 - for one, bliss- thy mess of 'Sad Dad' ignominy. of sound, their best work makes undoubtedly worthy aims of So perhaps I ought to admit to ful moment, it seemed a youthful Both Blair and Kerry played in “Oh, it just needs tuning...” the transition from being the such bands. Furthermore, while my friend that the political aspect British government was firmly bands during their University cliché of ‘music to soundtrack a band member Efrim Menuck of these bands is little more than a united with a youthful British days, but this does nothing to dis- choices included 'Old Man film’ to being a complete filmic was astute enough to notice side issue, and from the audience culture. This was the dawn of a suade me that both don't secretly Music' classics like Mozart's experience in itself. Radiohead’s hypocrisy in agitat- perspective. I like ‘post-rock’ new era, make no mistake. think the Middle-East peace 21st Piano Concerto, while Godspeed side project A ing about corporations while because of its ability to forge But Cool Britannia and cock- process could be wound up a George Bush's iPod playlist is Silver Mt Zion prefer to create signed to a subsidiary of EMI, beautiful, sometimes pretentious, tails at Number 10 just couldn't whole lot quicker if they just all dominated by traditional coun- more restrained vistas, dominat- he also admitted Godspeed’s but surprisingly emotional music last. Blair's output began to sparked up a J and put on some try singers like Kenny Chesney. ed by subtler orchestration - own shortcomings in choosing that is often infinitely more remind everyone a little too much Zeppelin, man. "It's safe, it's reliable, it's lov- sparse, hymnal organs and to make music rather than rewarding and inspiring than of the Thatcherism that had been Stuffy old reactionaries they ing....the Sex Pistols it's not", plucked cellos punctuated by engage in direct action. other rock forms. And, much as the bane of the young and hip for may be, but at least the Right's remarked one aide. Forced to static. Labelmates ‘Do Make Say ‘I think that global capitalism I’d like to claim otherwise, I don’t so long, and before you could say preferred life soundtracks are choose between 'Anarchy in the Think’ provides a less somnolent, is just one inch from being think I’d mind if even Cheney 'Chumbawumba', John Prescott unabashedly uncool. Michael UK' and a sensible man in a more euphoric sound. everywhere. I think that now is and Bush were behind it all. had been drenched at the Brits Howard's Desert Island Discs suit, I know which I'd prefer.

See www.varsity.co.uk for articles on Robert Downey Jr’s latest release on Sony Classical and Radiohead guitarist Jonny Greenwood’s foray into classical music with the London Sinfonietta 22 THEATRE April 29, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk Easter Term Previews Varsity compares these to a summer’s play Noonday Demons membrane covered with A Delicate Balance relationships or abusive Playroom, 3rd-7th May, 11pm mucous, blood and other slanging-matches as in bodily fluids. What must Emily Mansfield his earlier play, the per- never be forgotten is the ADC, 3rd - 7th May, 7.45pm petual smoothing over of In the 60s Peter Barnes was humour that is integral to all cracks and evasion of cli- spoken of in the same breath as Barnes work. He was never one A Delicate Balance paints a maxes in A Delicate Balance is Pinter and Beckett, now he is to lecture an audience po-faced devastatingly honest picture of even more disturbing. The almost unknown This is proba- when they could be made to dysfunctional relationships in characters’ fostering of self- bly due to the sheer difficulty of laugh as well as think. A bril- suburban America, and won delusions against a backdrop staging a lot of his work. At a liant example of his work is Edward Albee his first of three of unnamed fear parallels time when others were writing Noonday Demons, the Pulitzer Prizes, in 1967. America’s reluctance to exam- claustrophobic two handers or lateshow in the Corpus Quieter but no less intense ine the increasingly hollow compact kitchen sink drama Playroom this coming week. St. than Who’s Afraid of Virginia reality behind its cultural Barnes thought nothing of Eusebius lives an ascetic exis- Woolf?, written four years ear- ideals at the height of the writing plays for a cast of thirty tence in a cave in 4th Century Cold War. A Delicate Balance set during the black death, the Egypt, tormented by devils and “A perpetual has been highly influential for war of the roses or Columbus’ demons. The arrival of the smoothing over of subsequent American drama, discovery of the new world. almost identical St. Pior makes and with the characters’ caus- The level of set, effects and cos- matters worse. The cave really cracks and evasion tic humour and their terrible tuming required is also formi- isn’t big enough for the both of of climaxes” avoidance of truth and dable. Memorably his play them. As they begin to behave change, this should be a fasci- about the wars of the Spanish in a most un-Christian manner lier, A Delicate Balance holds a nating production. Simon Succession, “The Bewitched”, towards each other Barnes mirror up to society as Albee Evans’s character-based direc- begins with a prologue in which explores the ideas of fundamen- makes “a stand against the fic- tion aims to make the most of Prince Carlos is born. The actor talism, how it warps faith and tion that everything in this Albee’s psychological acute- who will play Carlos as an adult what happens when the trap- slipping land of ours is ness, creating a gripping por- drops from under his mother’s pings replace love at the heart peachy-keen”. While there are trayal of a balancing act per- skirt and bursts his way out of a of religious belief. no violent break-downs of formed with no safety net.

La Passion d’Alexis This exchange will not 1930: A child is murdered by Taking place in France dur- ADC, 10th-14th May, 7.45pm only enable Cambridge his friends during a game in ing the 'phoney war' (the defeat productions to tour in the school playground. It is a in 1940 and the Armistice), La France, but will also give crime bathed in innocence, Passion d'Alexis is a powerful FaCE (France and Cambridge us the opportunity to discover belonging to no-one. And yet, story which exerts a profound Exchange) is a society whose (or rediscover) the great French ten years later, as the former influence on those involved, first objective is to widen the classics in the original, played schoolmates and their fiancées both actors and audience. After horizons of Cambridge drama, by French actors. It is therefore meet again for a last party a successful run in Paris the through an exchange pro- with great excitement that we before the men leave for the company behind it are keen to gramme with theatres in Paris welcome the professional tour- front, they are consumed with widen the impact of the play, and Lyon. In some respects ing production of Jean guilt and remorse. As the body and they promise to bring an FaCE will resemble ETG or Gillibert's 'La Passion d'Alexis' of Alexis lies forgotten, his emotional and engaging drama CAST, but it will provide from Le Théatre de l'Epopée, spectral presence haunts the to the ADC stage. access to theatres of almost who will be performing La place, ready to take any form. For the first time in the his- professional calibre, and an Passion d'Alexis by Jean He drags his old friends on a tory of Western Theatre, it is audience comprised of journal- Gillibert. Performed in French 'cops and robbers' game, fan- the innocent victim who is in ists and theatre professionals. with surtitles. tastic and cruel. control...

Age of Consent is a chilling and powerful Dangerous Corner guests into a re-examina- Abigail Rokison play which delves into the tion of the mysterious mind of a child killer – Sam Wring events surrounding the ADC, 3rd-7th May, 11pm Timmy, shortly before his School of Pythagoras (John’s), recent death of young release from prison. Set against 4th-7th May, 8pm Martin Caplan. Skeletons ”Can a child ever give their con- Timmy's story is that of come crashing out of the sent to be judged and treated as Stephanie, a pushy stage mother closet in more ways than “Sex is all anyone ever thinks about…” Jenny Scudamore as Mrs. A. an adult?” who believes that she is doing the They have the world at their one. Life will never be the same In 2001 the child killers Jon best for her 6 year old daughter, feet. Then dangerous secrets are again… or will it? To let sleep- Mr. & Mrs. Andrews Andrews are engaged in a Venables and Robert Thompson, whilst unwittingly subjecting her painfully exposed. Their perfect ing dogs lie or not, that is the Pythagoras,10th-14th, 8pm long-running battle of wits, responsible for the abduction and to child abuse. lives begin to crumble…At question? Should you really tell teasing one another with murder of James Bulger, were Hard-hitting yet darkly their stylish country retreat, the the truth, the whole truth and half-kept secrets about released from detention amid humorous, the play forces us to Caplans host a dinner party for nothing but the truth? This long-anticipated second their sex-lives… with the same protests led by the tabloid news- consider issues of responsibility their colleagues and friends. An Directed, acted and crewed play from young American mistress. These three characters papers, and threats of attack from and blame in modern society. 'A intimate group, young and suc- by fresher’s of St John’s writer Noah Charney charts the are determined to keep “sex and members of the public. Lord brilliantly developed piece that cessful, their lives are seemingly College; an evening with the relationship of an upper-crust love far apart”, but below the fun, Woolf defended the decision begins by making you laugh and perfect. Then a chance remark Caplans proves to be the per- couple who believe that “two’s frolics and philosophising lurks a stating “Children can do things ends by making you shudder'. sparks off a relentless series of fect way to have a break from company”, but three is much question; when the temperature when they are children that they (The Telegraph) The writer revelations, and plunges the that revision. more fun… Flitting from the rises and the rules of engagement would never do in their later life Peter Morris will be attending libertine town to the even-more- start to change, is the female when they had matured and the performance on Friday libertine country, Mr and Mrs really deadlier than the male? appreciated.” The Age of Consent, evening.

Arsenic and Old Lace comedy is as witty as it is instant box-office smash house the murdering antics spi- unsettling. despite Cary Grant disliking ral out of control and several Shantelle David Arsenic and Old Lace Capraís direction to play truths are revealed. ADC, 17th-21st May, 7.45pm initially graced the Mortimer - over the top. At first glance the greatest Broadway stage in 1941 for In Betsy Vriendís version, the challenge that the script pres- Abby and Martha Brewster enjoy three years before its cinematic loving rapport between ents to a director and cast seems all the leisurely pursuits of the debut in 1944. Following the Mortimer and Elaine played by to be the intricacy of the respectable old lady; tea parties, success of the Broadway pro- Luke Roberts and Laura humour alongside a delicate church, crocheting and biscuits - duction the script soon got into Hallaways is juxtaposed with balance of horror; but Betsy not to mention murder, if one has the hands of the director, Frank the amusing and extraordinary Vriend and Bethe Towsend the time. Set in 1940s Brooklyn in Capra, who cast Cary Grant behaviour of his aunts played by have worked to produce a pro- the elegant household of two love- and Priscilla Lane as the newly- Katya Giller and Isobel duction that combines; old- able old darlings, where it all seems weds Mortimer and Elaine Marshall. As if things couldnít fashioned elegance, subtle perfectly innocent until, we find alongside, Josephine Hull and get any worse, when Mortimerís humour and shocking wicked- out that they poison their lodgers in Jean Adair as Mortimerís mur- Brother Jonathon (Frank Paul) ness that will leave you so an act of ìcharityî to save them dering aunts, Abby and and his friend Einstein (Philip stunned - you will fear your from their sorrows. This gory black Martha. The film was an Meyenburg) turn up to the own grandmother. www.varsity.co.uk April 29, 2005 THEATRE23 Martha & Veronica Not so insignificant

Kate Ward Allegra Galvin the perspiring senator in the Holocaust, the goddamn shape opening scene, swilling warm of the son-of-a-bitch universe, “The future for Footlighters Summer 1953, Marilyn whisky and imposing his offen- who god is and why we swear after Cambridge can be Monroe and Albert Einstein sive bulk on the space around by him, a solipsistic identity uncertain,” Sarah Solemani are leaning out of a hotel room him. This play is self-con- crisis and Schroedinger’s cat, told Varsity last week. window contemplating a bill- scious, but it manages not to kept alive (or is it?) in the bas- Experience has taught her the board with her curvaceous fig- alienate its audience because it ket in the bathroom. risks of taking performances ure plastered across it under the is at ease in its own artifice: we An exceptional set but poorly out of the ADC and appeal- limitless night sky. Or is it lim- are watching an event that is lit at times, sharp characteriza- ing to wider audiences. itless? What shape is it any- both unreal and real, people tion and comic timing but an Occasionally though, it’s the way? And what would these who are both paper-thin imper- appalling array of accents: I had start of something big. This two icons have to say to each sonations and yet no more flim- my complaints, but I was enter- year, vice-president Solemani other about it? Monroe is afraid sy than we are ourselves. tained and I wandered out into takes her debut two woman to look up because it reminds In a memorable scene, in the night considering the fact play Pray for the souls of Martha her of how small and lonely she stumbles a glimmering, delicate that truth is a journey, not a des- and Veronica to the Edinburgh is. Einstein believes that, bombshell intent on demon- tination, and that Einstein once Fringe. Luckily for Solemani The team behind Martha falls in love – both want to although, when we look at the strating relativity to Einstein said “Have you ever noticed how the future seems to be far from and Veronica have an infectious change the world. They are stars, smallness and loneliness with the aid of two trains, what-the-hell is always the right the uncertainty she identified, energy. Having met producers curious and frustrated and do occur, “the real miracle is torches, white balloons and a decision?” As the Cambridge for the show is attracting a Lili Double and Phoebe capable of causing a lot of trou- that insignificance does not”. toy model of Charlie Chaplin. theatre scene goes on a drastic buzz. Kathy Burke is sponsor- Strickland, the pair who bought ble. The token girl thing needs Terry Johnson’s Insignificance Among the other topics they go diet over the summer term, let ing her after reading the script The Vagina Monologues from to be over – the revolution is places four cultural icons on to cover are the cause and me recommend the delights on saying “This is true talent – not America to the UK, the energy coming – I hope it starts with together in a room for one responsibility for the offer at the Arts Theatre. to be missed” and acclaimed was certainly infectious. “We women in comedy.” night. They remain unnamed, theatre director Emma Stuart is saw Sarah perform The Vagina If you’re in London or but entirely identifiable. Each taking time out of the RSC to Monologues in London and Edinburgh this summer – character wants something: Joe direct the play. knew we had to work together. make an effort to catch Pray for DiMaggio wants a child and For those who managed to We read the script for Martha the souls of Martha and Veronica. dreams of suburbia, Senator catch Solemani’s performances and Veronica and got instantly Not only is this an opportunity McCarthy needs Einstein’s sup- at the Footlights smokers or her excited. This is special - it’s to see the women of port in his paranoid crusade satirical spoof at last year’s going to shock.” “Stereotyping Cambridge in action, but also a against crypto-Communists, fashion show will know her women in comedy is tedious chance to catch the Cambridge Monroe wants Einstein to tell style – sassy, bold and very, very and just not funny”says talent before quite simply they her the shape of the universe funny. The play features her Solemani. “I want to give you a become a lot more expensive. and Einstein just wants and fellow Cambridge graduate show that challenges all the bol- Previewing in London at the McCarthy to give him the free- Sarah Campbell, who became a locks – it’s political, it’s passion- Etcetera Theatre in Camden on dom to live in peace. double act on the Footlights ate, it’s pretty disturbing but the 22nd and 23rd of July and Insignificance has a quality of stage, and tells the story of two more importantly – it’s truthful. then the Komedia’s Roman timelessness about it: “Tonight girls on a quest for truth, world These girls are thrill seekers, Eagle Lodge, Edinburgh from is a dog of night, and tomorrow peace and a boyfriend. one’s a revolutionary the other 3rd to the 28th of August. will be a dog of a day”, drawls

The Editors of MAYS 13 are delighted to announce this year’s Guest Editor, Robert Macfarlane, Winner of the Guardian First Book Award and the Somerset Maughan Award.

MAYS 13 publishes this year’s best new writing from Oxford and Cambridge. On sale in June priced £6.99.

www.mayswriting.com

FILM www.varsity.co.uk April 29, 2005 25 .net e

Penn vs. Penn imag

The Assassination president. Following the blue- few’, these pseudo-poetic social- print laid by Arthur Miller, this ly conscious contemplations are of Richard Nixon/ is a tragedy of the everyman - lent a weight of poignancy by the slow disintegration of an the philosophical gravitas of The Interpreter individual alienated by, and at Penn’s delivery. Review by Emma odds with, society. But then we come to The It’s a somewhat hackneyed Interpreter. Not even the work Paterson premise. De Niro did it in Taxi of a master could rescue this Sean Penn can do no wrong. Driver. Michael Douglas sort of from the mire. Penn, a CIA He’s been hailed as the best actor did it in Falling Down. And in agent, joins Nicole Kidman, a of his generation. He’s an Oscar all honesty, the entire picture UN interpreter who, in one of winner. He acted Pacino off the bombards us with clichés. But the film’s many absurd con- screen in Carlito’s Way. With all where they should frustrate, trivances, finds herself in the this in mind – and a personal amuse or insult our intelligence, wrong place at the wrong time fetish for the man – I decided to they manage to engage it. At (a predicament, I feel, very akin test a bullet-proof theory and to my own as I sat watching take in his two new films, The the philosophical this claptrap in the cinema),

Assassination of Richard Nixon and overhears an assassination .net

gravitas of Penn’s e and The Interpreter. Yet as I sat, delivery plot. It’s painfully long, outra-

waiting for the first to begin, the geously incoherent, and imag last actor I could recall with hideously mawkish. Think more than one film on release at one point in the film, the camera Kidman sitting in her apart- the same time was Jude Law. closes in on a photograph of ment, playing a melancholic Needless to say, the worry set it. Bicke’s children pinned to the melody on the flute (yes, Had quality and credibility made wall. We have seen him taking way for shameless ubiquity? this photograph earlier in the Then we come to The Penn, with The Assassination film – his son and two daughters Interpreter. Not even of Richard Nixon, assures us sit for the photo, impatient and that this couldn’t be farther reluctant as Penn stands, desper- the work of a master from the truth. The film, tak- ate, pleading with them to move could rescue this ing as its seed a real-life into the frame. Now, on the attempt to hijack a plane and wall, we see the result: his from the mire fly it into the White House daughters’ heads cut out of during the 1970s, follows Sam frame, his son looking away. when’s she not interpreting Bicke, a working-class sales- This is the cheapest of shots, a obscure African dialects, she man separated from his wife Hallmark moment soaked in moonlights as a flautist), as and children. Frustrated with sentimentality. Yet accompanied flashbacks of her life in Africa his own anonymity, and disillu- by the delicacy of Penn’s tor- shoot across the screen. Or sioned by political dishonesty mented face – the creases, the unveiling a troubled past and Sean Penn gets political in The Assassination of Richard Nixon (top) and The Interpreter (above) (the backdrop here is Nixon strains, the imperfections – it summing up the depths and and Watergate) and social becomes painfully emotive. And complexities of racial tensions floor, anguished by the recent rather go home. nothing’. If only the writers had inequality (cue sporadic flashes similarly, when Penn’s voiceover, in the simple, yet beautiful, five death of his wife, both he and Towards the film’s close, a possessed the self-awareness to of the Civil Rights backed by an arrangement of words ‘the politics of my skin’. the director seem fairly oblivi- socialist leader comments on recognise that such words Movement), Bicke decides that strings, reflects ‘In the land of And yet, Penn still acts well - ous to the fact that no one the work of the UN: ‘It’s just would have been more useful as the answer is the death of the plenty, the plenty is only for the though when he stares at the gives a shit and would much layers of language, signifying a tagline for their film. Home movies Summer Highlights .net e Turner Classic Movies short film competition, closing date September 1

imag For all budding filmmakers. The winning entry will be screened at this year’s London Film Festival.Visit www.tcmonline.co.uk/classicshorts.

Cambridge African Film Festival, May 6-14 at Arts Picturehouse Showing new African cinema, with talks from African directors and actors, this student-run event is a must.

Palindromes, from May 6 Catch Todd Solondz’s tale of a thirteen-year-old girl desperate to be a mother.

Inside Deep Throat, from June 10 More than 30 years after the controversial release of the pornographic Deep Throat, this documentary examines the legacy of its inspiration. .net .net e e attempts as an adult to under- his father, and recalls the loneli- imag My Architect stand the father he only knew ness and humiliation of being an imag Review by Olivia from snatched and infrequent illegitimate child. There are some Humphreys weekends when Louis could get mesmerising shots of the build- away from his suspicious wife. ings themselves, such as the Salk Out on DVD Nathaniel Kahn draws us in so Institute in California and the World-famous architect Louis that we are excited by every dis- astounding National Assembly in Kahn was a shadowy, elusive covery he makes about Louis: his Bangladesh, and the film reveals man; when he died alone in New extraordinary passion for archi- the buildings’ importance to the York’s Penn Station in 1974, his tecture, which bordered on obses- people who live and work in body lay unclaimed in the sion and certainly affected his them, eliciting some surprisingly morgue for three days because he family life; his love of India; his emotional responses. had scratched out the home crazy projects, like the ‘floating This gentle and involving address in his identification. His orchestra’, a boat which he film leaves us with a sense of obituaries mentioned a wife and designed to travel the seas, dock- Kahn as a complex, fascinating daughter but failed to acknowl- ing in ports for perfomances; his person, but it is also biography edge his two illegitimate chil- undying antagonism of arch- at its most realistic, acknowl- dren, the results of two separate enemy and town planner Ed edging as it does that Louis will affairs. Thirty years later, one of Bacon. We also experience remain something of a ghostly, those children, Nathaniel Kahn, Nathaniel’s disappointments, as unknowable character to both made this documentary about his he learns less palatable facts about Nathaniel and his audience.

LITERATURE www.varsity.co.uk April 29, 2005 27 Modern times, modern manners Is modernism more than a set of outdated conventions, asks Sophie Allen

he inclusion of Ulysses, were written seem fairly tame greatest influence, however, tated technique - that far from James Joyce's notorious- by today's standards, so that, in comes through style rather being the natural way to record Tly impenetrable master- our sex-saturated times, D. H. than content, with its bold, sty- our inner reality it is as much a piece, in a list of the nation's Lawrence's overly earnest listic innovation opening the literary convention as anything 100 favourite novels, despite visions of sexual passion (once way for the literary experimen- the Victorians devised. For a never having been turned into considered depraved enough to tation of writers such as Paul new highly self-aware genera- a BBC miniseries starring be banned) can seem almost Auster and Salman Rushdie. tion of writers modernism is Colin Firth as a smouldering twee to a contemporary reader. just one piece of a much larger Leopold Bloom, seems to sug- In fact, the conservative, elitist Post-modernism literary jigsaw puzzle. But, gest that modernism has stood values held by many modernist has never created although modernism’s gradual the test of time and remains writers is probably what an identity away move into the mainstream may relevant today. But just how today's reader will find most have taken away its sting and many of the people who voted unpalatable. There's more than from modernism’s made it a target for fresh acts of for it had actually managed to a hint of snobbery in mod- shadow iconoclasm, post-modernism, slog their way through its ernism's distaste for the mass- the most important literary mammoth 267,000 words? Are es, and anyone hoping for seri- The post-modern writers’ movement of the late twentieth we simply paying lip service to ous political engagement agenda has largely been to century, has never been able to modernism in order to show should probably look else- acknowledge and to carry on create an identity away from our highbrow credentials, or is where. Although the mod- the work of their predecessors modernism’s shadow. our continuing fascination ernists were deeply conscious in pushing back literary bound- It is contradictions like this with the genre proof of its last- of the insecure times in which aries, but post-modernists have which have fuelled the debates ing cultural impact? they lived, modernism has also shown themselves to be that have kept modernism in Virginia Woolf's famous arguably done more than any eager to deconstruct mod- the public consciousness. statement that ‘in or about other genre to separate art ernism’s own conventions The controversy that still December 1910 human char- from political statement and to through the large doses of play- surrounds modernism, not acter changed’ may neatly create a literary climate in fulness and irony they inject least in the fact something that express the modernists’ belief which overtly political works into their work. Modernists seems so culturally ubiquitous in the radical potential of their are regarded as unfashionable may have rejected what they is so often dismissed as preten- art. But critics of these writers and even embarrassing. saw as the inflexibility of tious twaddle, has ensured that would question whether Despite this, there are works Victorian realism, but was what it hasn't been quietly consigned human character has contin- that resonant strongly with the they created any more real? to the realms of literary history. ued to evolve, moving further modern reader. Joseph A scene in David Lodge's So there's a good chance that away from modernism's grasp Conrad's The Secret Agent,a 2001 novel Thinks..., in which a in just under 50 years time and making authors like Joyce self-styled ‘simple tale’ of anar- university lecturer's attempts to there'll be another Bloomsday and Woolf the literary equiva- chists, has a great deal to say put down a real-life stream of anniversary celebration, offer- lent of the royal family: an about the supposedly modern consciousness by tape recording ing a new generation a chance institution that, although it phenomenon of terrorism, his thought processes as they to drink copious amounts of can't be written off quite yet, while the general sense of occur lead not to any inspired Guinness in honour of high has come to seem more than a alienation that pervades mod- monologue but to a tedious art, but what remains to be little outdated. ernist literature continues to mishmash of half-formed seen is just how many will have Works that were seen as tap into distinctly contempo- ideas, highlights a major criti- actually managed to get all the Ulysses: have you read it? shockingly immoral when they rary anxieties. Modernism's cism of modernism's most imi- way through Ulysses. The man with heels of wind Louise Woolf profiles prodigy Arthur Rimbaud

rom Charleville his impatience to grow up, the fes, stands witness to his haste known work, The Drunken birthplace to the intoxi- wish to see time accelerate, to and exasperation with the eter- Boat (1871) in which he sends Fcation of London and be delivered of it; this watch nal rule of things, his rejection a toy boat on a journey, an alle- the disorder of Brussels, to the exchanged for a train ticket. of a stifling family and bour- gory for a spiritual quest. But fevers of Aden in Abyssinia, Slowness exasperates him, but geoisie circle. Lettre du Voyant as Apollinaire asks, ‘Who can Arthur Rimbaud is the one time going by revolts him. All unveils how much he detested put their hand on an illusion?’ Verlaine named ‘the man with his life, Rimbaud was in a state all these ‘public amusers’ who Rimbaud is only nineteen in heels of wind.’ Youthfully arro- of urgency. Don’t imagine him could not juggle between 1873 when A Season in Hell is gant but brilliant, the visionary other than on ‘the white road rhymes and half-verses. More published as one of the first of The Drunken Boat never that runs’, ‘the large road ambitious than them, works in free prose that through all times’. As if Rimbaud rearms poetry by “a long and pushed by an indefatigable demanding the impossible. Precocious and well thought-out demon, he always had to go, to Rimbaud believes he will reach wise, but diabolic come back, to see and travel to the former by a few terms, and violent also deregulation of other places, racked by a thirst through a new form of poetry the senses” he tried vainly to quench. No in prose, in Illuminations inspired the direction of a rest; his shadow runs faster (1886), a collection of prose whole new generation of poet- ceased to walk. Casting off his than him; in the sun, in the poems that goes beyond the ry. See the immense diffuse moorings, without a pre- grass and in the sand, he must petits poèmes en prose of nebula that poetry is today; if planned route, the rascal of go where his shadow takes him Baudelaire, and by making you dig deep inside it, you will liberty was always in search of himself a voyant by a ‘long and find Arthur Rimbaud. the ‘out there’, impatiently Rimbaud was well thought-out deregulation Rimbaud represents the first mad in a nineteenth century impatiently mad in of all the senses’: herein lies modern poet, as he is the first that would have loved to suffo- a century that the expression of his constant whose poetry is in constant cate him. But no one could will to discover the unknown, progress, always in expansion, have foreseen the deepness of would have loved to let oneself lose one’s sense of explosive - until disappearing. the silence he kept as he left on to suffocate him direction and slip into the Prodigiously precocious, Jules Franck Mondoloni’s portrait of Arthur Rimbaud his furthest journey. This unfamiliar; the result being a Rimbaud seems the eldest of relationship with Verlaine cul- silence forms an enigma for ‘poète maudit’ was destined to - even further! His destiny is dizziness like that emanating his contemporaries older than minating in Verlaine’s shoot- every poet who presumes to finish his life as soon as the to be somewhere else, until his from poems such as ‘Après le him, like Théophile Gautier, ing of Rimbaud. Rimbaud talk in his turn. wind of adventure stopped own destruction prophesied in Deluge’ or ‘Vies’. For him, Victor Hugo and George chose silence and wanderings, Precocious and wise, but dia- blowing into his sails, con- his first poem (1868) ‘my bro- poets are beings contrary to Sand. A precocity so remark- two ways to disappear that bolic and violent also, Arthur demning him to immobility. ken limbs by my long men asleep or blind: they are able in that Rimbaud fell never ceased to feed polemic Rimbaud with his angel’s face ‘On n’est pas sérieux quand vagabondages’. capable of seeing, and of find- silent at the age of 21, an age and excite imaginations. With and youth’s profile, and a des- on a dix-sept ans’ resounds his His work, a series of aban- ing the quintessence of experi- where most others have only no such example of a young tiny at the same time luminous famous adolescent poem: one doned collections never pub- ence by whatever means. This begun writing, after the circle man abandoning and repudi- and dark, incarnates wonderful- can hear in this child the lished, or victims of auto-da- is revealed in Rimbaud's best- of quarrels and torments of his ating his life’s work, his heavy ly the myth of the fallen angel.

FASHION www.varsity.co.uk April 29th, 2005 29

Robyn wears t-shirt from Gap, trousers from Oxfam (Bridge Street), silver bow from the Fabric Shop, post it notes from WH Smith 30 SPORT April 29, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk Dispute over Fitzwilliam playing fields Lucy Phillips an v STUDENTS AT Fitzwilliam are currently in lotte Be negotiation with the college

Char authorities over the future of their sport’s ground at Oxford Road. The College has applied for planning permission to change the status of the grounds, which are presently designated as ‘Protected Open Space’, with the intent that they could be used for private housing development. The College intends to relocate its sports field to a position “convenient for stu- dent use”, in the locality of Huntingdon Road and an agreement has been reached with the landowner to enable a new College sports field to be acquired. Both students and the City Council are unhappy with the proposals. The Council maintain that the site is important for environmental as well as recreational rea- sons. The site is currently in Omission for a six week pub- lic consultation period due to end on 16 May. The full inquiry is expected to be completed by the end of August. SPORT www.varsity.co.uk April 29, 2005 31

Sport In Oxford extend Blues’ Varsity misery Brief Varsity Football throwing bodies forward and hurling long centres into the BOXING CAMBRIDGE 0 Oxford box, but despite some frenetic scrambles they failed Cambridge smashed Oxford OXFORD 1 to carve out a clear-cut open- 9-0 to claim a historic Varsity ing. The shrill of the final boxing victory at the Sam Richardson whistle signalled Cambridge’s Guildhall. It marked the first third successive Varsity defeat. time ever in its 98-year history Next season, nobody in the that the contest has ended in a CAMBRIDGE’S LAST starting line-up will know the whitewash, the knockout Varsity football victory, five sweet taste of Varsity victory. punch coming from Huw years ago, seems almost as dis- Surely there is now no better Williams in the final bout to tant as the days when 100,000 time for restructuring. The sec- send the crowd, which includ- fans would fill Wembley to see ond team, the Falcons (who ed former world champion the teams compete in Britain’s also lost 1-0 at home and Chris Eubank, into scenes of oldest fixture. Instead, 826 fans missed a penalty), spend their jubilation. The win highlights littered the Abbey Stadium (a season playing a combination the outstanding work achieved venue well-acquainted to home of schoolboys and old men, by Geoff Battye in this his first disappointment this season), while the third team, the year as president. and an indifferent match and Kestrels, who use up the already disappointing 1-0 defeat did over-stretched finances, did not CRICKET little to warm their spirits in even manage to play their the face of an icy wind. Varsity match this year. Putting Cambridge have got off to a With retrospect, coach Dave the Falcons in BUSA, like the fantastic start to the 2005 sea- Robertson’s prediction of ‘the Oxford Centaurs, is surely the son, winning matches against clinical and methodical way to ensure the strength in Hampstead and Sparta CC destruction of the Oxford penalty was parried at full on the pincer tactics of Gulf from Duncan Heath, and then depth and experience that 1888. Meanwhile the select eleven’ smacks of hubris, stretch by Oxford keeper Nick War general Stormin’ Norman when the bespectacled Jamie CUAFC needs if it extricate Crusaders have begun their but in fact he was a missed Baker. Although Baker, who Schwarzkopf. Cambridge were Forrest skinned Cambridge’s itself from its current rut. A fixtures on an equally success- penalty away from surely being appears on Championship not helped by muscular left flank but dragged his shot decent sponsorship deal would ful note, defeating MCC and proved right. The Light Blues Manager, was called into action injuries which forced both across the face of goal. When, also not go amiss. Bedford school. started strongly, spraying the five minutes later to deflect a full-backs out, and (along with on the hour mark, Luther It is the standard line of ball in midfield and keeping a scrambled effort from a combi- an additional injury to centre- Sullivan picked up a (dubious) unsuccessful Varsity sides to WOMEN’S FOOTBALL frenetic tempo as Oxford nation of Adams and Turnbull, back Matt Clamp) called into free-kick and cut in from the point to their otherwise suc- struggled to maintain posses- Cambridge never recovered question the quality of the right wing to curl a clinical cessful season, and following The University first and sec- sion in the Cambridge half. from the missed opportunity. side’s warm up. But in reality it twenty-yard shot beyond last year’s promotion the Blues ond teams will be holding an The match turned on the Although the Light Blues was the skill and blistering Duncan Heath, it was no less have indeed performed solidly open skills day for footballers half hour. A well-rehearsed held their own in midfield, pace of the Oxford wingers than Oxford deserved. Indeed, in BUSA. But, for better or for of all levels, aiming to promote short corner allowed Alex with Steve Smith particularly that hurt Cambridge. they could have extended their worse, the showpiece match is women’s football and women’s Mugan to draw a foul in the impressive, they found them- The Light Blues ignored two lead shortly afterwards, when the defining moment of any sport in general. Please con- box. With skipper Jon Darby selves consistently struggling warning shots, first when left- Heath did well to turn a James sporting season in Cambridge, tact Elena Narozanski (ekn21) injured, the Girtonian stepped on the flanks against an winger Ricky Tavares cut inside Perkins drive round the post. and a victory is long overdue. for more details. up himself, but his well struck Oxford attack said to be based and forced an acrobatic save Cambridge responded by Men’s College Rugby League Division 1 Touring USA Plate result Place Team Pl W D L F A PD Pts Andy Bell Agbo and Grace Lowly Hodge Hannah Galton cleared off 1 St. John’s 10 9 0 1 420 56 364 37 Clements out-jumping the line. With the minutes DURING THE holidays, the Americans in the first PETERHOUSE/CORPUS ticking away the mass of 2 Downing 10 8 0 2 200 115 85 34 a crack squad of Oxbridge of these, and Emma and Churchill had already Churchill supporters sensed athletes, united under the Perkins partnering Grace met this season in the league, victory. Ten minutes from 3 Jesus 10 6 0 4 187 120 67 28 Achilles banner, travelled for another clean sweep in the combined colleges com- the end however, to the US for a 2-week the second. Overall, the ing away with a narrow win Peterhouse/Corpus won a 4 Girton 10 4 0 6 113 197 -84 20 sojourn of sporting extrav- men achieved a con- on that occasion, so it was short corner that centre- agance. The tour, which tentious 10-10 draw, hav- always going to be a gripping midfield Lowly Hodge con- 5 St. Catharine’s 10 3 0 7 105 227 -122 19 takes places every four ing been frustrated by a and tense encounter. verted, making amends for years, is part of the historic controversial High Jump Churchill’s Cat several earlier mistakes and 6 Trinity Hall 10 0 0 10 63 373 -310 10 Transatlantic Series of fix- decision, while the Ladies' MacDonald was all over the missed opportunities. www.crazyaboutsport.com tures, a tradition pre-dat- team were defeated 12-6. field in the first-half, and With the scores level ing the modern Olympics The following week, with Churchill packing play- Peterhouse/Corpus started to St.John’s are champions; St.Catharine’s and Trinity Hall are relegated with its origins in 1894. Achilles squared up to the ers behind the ball they were believe they could still win the Arriving in New York forces of Harvard and happily soaking up the game and went pushing for on Monday 28th March, Yale. The team were again Peterhouse/Corpus pressure another goal, but with Men’s College Football League the team kicked off their dominant in the Men's and getting the best of the Churchill still threatening on trip with a short period of 400m and once more by attacking chances on the the break the match was far training and skill-sharpen- virtue of Cambridge ath- break. A lifted ball in the D from over. The deciding goal Division 1 ing before the first of two letes, with Steve Green conceded a short corner came from a free hit outside Place Team Pl W D L F A GD Pts tour matches against and Ben Carne blowing against the combined col- the D and was an all-Corpus Pennsylvania and Cornell away the opposition to fin- leges and with no mistakes affair, with hard-hitting Laura 1 Fitzwilliam 9 9 0 0 41 8 33 27 Universities. In spite of the ish 1st and 2nd respective- Churchill slotted the ball Gallagher striking the ball terrible weather condi- ly. Grace Clements was home to open the scoring. beautifully to the left post 2 Trinity 9 7 0 2 18 15 3 21 tions, a host of strong per- astounding in the corre- Peterhouse/Corpus contin- where Chloe Middleton was formances were displayed sponding ladies' event, as ued to rally with Peterhouse waiting to guide the ball in 3 Churchill 9 5 2 2 18 15 3 17 by the squad, which com- she sheared a huge 6 sec- captain Alexandra Openshaw against the backboard. prised a total of 24 onds off her time from the having the game of her Immediately Churchill 4 Jesus 9 4 2 3 21 15 6 14 Cambridge athletes and previous match to take Cambridge career in defence, responded and threatened the 26 from Oxford. gold in 1:02.16, over 3 sec- limiting Churchill’s attempts combined college with a 5 St.John’s 9 3 2 4 14 12 2 11 A particular highlight onds inside the Blues stan- to get the ball through the short-corner. However the was the Men's 400m dard itself. She went on to skilful Nicola Pyper to final whistle blew, making the 6 St. Catharine’s 9 3 1 5 11 19 -8 10 Hurdles, in which Light win the Triple Jump for a MacDonald, a university full corner the last move of the Blue powerhouses Ben second time, improving on back being deployed up front. match. Peterhouse/Corpus 7 Darwin 9 2 3 4 14 18 -4 9 Carne and Dan Bray, both her pre-tour PB by 1.31m. Peterhouse/Corpus were failed to clear and instead resurfacing after injury The overall scores fell in beginning to get frustrated conceded another, but the sec- 8 Caius 9 2 2 5 11 20 -9 8 problems, snapped up a favour of Harvard and with their pressure not getting ond time around Churchill dominating 1-2 victory. Yale, however, and the them anywhere; university were frustrated as Malicka 9 Downing 9 2 0 7 15 26 -11 6 The Women's Long and Americans ended up win- player Jenny Malicka went cleared the ball wide to the Triple Jumps were also ning both the Men's and close before the half-time and evident relief of the 10 Girton 9 1 0 7 15 30 -15 6 ruled supreme by Ladies' matches, 13-7 and after the break, but with the Peterhouse/Corpus team and Cambridge, with Phyllis 12-6 respectively. goalkeeper beaten, Churchill’s their numerous supporters. Fitzwilliam are champions; Downing and Girton are relegated April 29, 2005 SPORT Blues’ coach left red-faced by Varsity defeat Oxford runaway 1-0 victors at the Abbey Stadium page 31

Ladies row to Varsity victory Jess Stanley

AFTER THREE succes- sive defeats in the Women’s Boat Race, Cambridge finally turned the tide to secure their first win since 2001. The Henley Boat Races event, which this year took place on Easter Saturday, was blessed by fine weather and record crowds. Thousands trav- elled to watch the five Varsity races take place between Cambridge and Oxford over the 2000 metre Henley Reach. In the penultimate race of The girls celebrate their tremendous victory with the CUWBC coach after coming from behind to beat their great rivals comfortably the day, the Oxford Women’s son has seen strong results Blue Boat had a strong start posted throughout, with and took an early lead. Their solid times in the Fours Head gain was only temporary, of the River Race and wins at Jesus complete cup double however, as the stamina and Cambridge Autumn and rhythm of the Cambridge Winter Head, Fairbairns and Adam Edelshain boat, stroked by Mathilde Head of the Trent. Just three effort just past the post. Goals from Swain and a sec- Nonetheless Lisa Grimes Pauls, proved too strong. By weeks before the Boat Races, JESUS MANAGED to defy The half petered out as ond for Stevenson were fol- found a way through and half way the Cambridge crew the Women’s Blue Boat fin- the odds by winning both the both teams finally began to lowed by a good finish from scored with ten minutes to go. was in front and extended this ished fifth overall at the men’s and women’s football feel more comfortable on the Brenig Jones to make it four. Both sides played conserva- lead to two and a half lengths Women’s Eights Head of the Cuppers trophies, but the ball, yet Jesus were in the Stevenson earned a penalty tively until the end of normal by the finish. Their power River Race and won the uni- manners in which the two ascendancy and their five- with some quick feet in the time, fearing a quick counter- was relentless and once versity pennant, knocking were won could not have been man midfield showed signs of area, capping off a brilliant attack that would leave them Oxford lost sight of their Durham into second place more contrasting. the dominance that was to second half and enabling him with no chance of a response opposition they quickly faded. and Oxford third. The year In the men’s competition, come in the second stage. to take home the match ball. amd ultimately end their Unfortunately, the has been one of both consol- Jesus met Christ’s at Grange The game could still have Though a 5-0 score line was dreams of Cup success. Women’s Boat Race was the idation and progression. Road in what eventually gone both ways as the teams perhaps a little harsh on With neither side able to only victory for Cambridge Hard lessons were learnt at proved to be a very one-sided came out after the break, but Christ’s especially given the break through in extra time, on the day, ensuring Oxford the 2004 Boat Races yet it encounter. Having beaten while Jesus looked to have the competitive nature of the first the Cup came down to penal- yet again walked away with was only possible to succeed champions Fitz in a gruelling firepower to recover from half, the Cup was certainly ties and Rosie Snajdr saved the majority wins. Blondie this year due to the founda- semi-final which was only going a goal down, Christ’s won by the better team and Newnham’s first spot kick, managed to turn around a tions laid by last year’s resolved 10 – 9 on penalties, didn’t appear to have the Jesus College will be engraved giving Jesus a great chance to one minute difference President and coaching team. Jesus looked jaded at the start same potency in attack. This on the trophy for the first time. take the trophy. However, an between them and Osiris Undoubtedly one of the con- and Christ’s dominated the proved decisive as Jesus took Newnham then took on equally impressive save from recorded at the Women’s tributing factors to a win this possession. Even Jesus’ inclu- the lead in a rather bizarre Jesus in the Women’s cup O’Dea brought the scores Head three weeks previously year was the squad morale sion of Stevie Smith, centre moment of genius from final. Having won the league level at 4-4, with sudden – a great achievement. The and mentality. President midfield for the Blues, failed Stevenson. After a corner was match between the two sides, death to decide the result. Lightweight crew were Kate Hillier led a group of to secure the ball, and Christ’s cleared by the Christ’s Newnham were slight It was then that Snajdr pipped to the line by the individuals who not only looked the better side without defence, Jesus collected the favourites and took the lead in made a second save and Anna OUWLRC, following an were the best of friends, but looking dangerous. ball on the left and flighted a the first minute. Jenny Ward Blackman made no mistake, earlier collision in the warm- never stopped wanting to However, after 20 minutes ball beyond the far post punished a sleepy Jesus back- placing the ball into the left up and a false start due to cross the line first. in which Christ’s had failed to where Stevenson was hiding, line and Jesus took time to corner to return to Jesus the Cambridge equipment fail- With elections for a new convert two half chances, Jesus nearer the corner flag than recover. However, with their trophy that they had won two ure. Both gutsy performanc- committee not far away, the came back into the game. the goal, totally unmarked passing becoming more years ago. The Newnham es highlighted the renewed last task for the season is While Dave Sher’s movement and just onside. Controlling assured and attacking girls were inconsolable as they quality of squad that the Boat BUSA Championships and and enthusiasm (allowing for the ball quickly, he dribbled instincts beginning to kick in, left the field, the ending cruel Club now has to build on for laying the way for another comparisons with Paul the ball back towards goal, an equaliser looked a certain- on a side who had matched next year. successful summer Dickov) was contained by cutting inside the box to fin- ty. Only Claire their opponents throughout This year’s squad was led Development Squad. In Atkinson and Corns at the ish with Chris Turnbull Hollingsworth’s bravery at the the fixture. For Jesus however by President Kate Hillier September the new President back, Will Stevenson, who unable to cover in time. heart of the Newnham there were scenes of joy, the ( Jesus College) and Head will begin to lead a squad had started the game looking With half an hour still to defence and great keeping win going some way to make Coaches Roger Silk and Ron through six months of gru- as potent as Ade Akinbiyi, play, Jesus took full control from stopper Lisa O’Dea pre- up for the pain of missing out Needs, who returned to elling training, hopefully started to find spaces to run and Christ’s barely managed vented Jesus from running on the league title through CUWBC in 2003. The sea- towards three boat race wins. into and drilled a 20 yard to cross the half way line. away with the tie. goal difference. FIELDING PROBLEMS PAGE 30 SPORT IN BRIEF PAGE 31 VARSITY FOOTBALL DEFEAT PAGE 31