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THA BOMB! FINAL ISSUE - 24 JUNE

Tricky's Latest Colour Back at Last Album Reviewed Extravaganza Union AGM Ends in Farce

MARK BAKER or resent it." Instead he insisted JCR to remind people about the that the meeting had to close "in AGM." However he did not think Last Friday, the Annual General the interests of the student body" that it was a total failure, as "8 Meeting of Imperial College as there were not enough people times as many more people turned Union was was dramatically present. Mr Southern cited insuffi- up this year than last." Indicating interrupted by student Andy cient publicity as being the chief that the months in office have not Southern, who halted the meet- cause of the lack of student inter- yet stripped him of his humour, to ing as less than 200 students est, laying the blame squarely at publicise the next AGM he said were present. The normally sedate the feet of the members of Council. "perhaps I should go to the top of affair at which the annual report is "They don't want students to the Queen's Tower, and shout approved, officers are elected for attend the AGM," he wrote, before about it." the next academic year and the going on to suggest that sabbati- The rescheduled AGM takes student body is given an opportu- cal's performance would be place today at 12:30 in dBs. The nity to quiz their elected improved if their actions were following posts will be elected; Sabbaticals was dogged with prob- questioned more often. Welfare Officer, Transport Officer lems from the start. Due to a major In response, ICU President and RAG Chair. Anyone interested event in Beit Quad - the Andersen Andrew Heeps said "publicity for in standing for these positions Consulting Pit Stop Challenge - the the AGM was put up around the should sign up opposite the Union venue had to be changed to the walkway and the Union on the Office in Beit Quad. The presenta- Union Dining Hall at the last Monday; however members of tion and approval of the ICU minute, leaving some attendees Council have had the date since Annual Report will also occur at the confused. November, therefore having the AGM this Friday lunchtime. All are The meeting initially proceed- information to pass to their con- very welcome to attend. ed normally, with Natasha Newton stituencies." To the claim that he The full letter from Andy re-elected unopposed of accom- had not done enough to publicise Southern can be read at the Felix modation officer. The position of the AGM, Mr Heeps commented web site - www.su.ic.ac.uk/Felix/ council chair, also chair of the that "it is impossible for us to go powerful executive committee, into every lecture theatre, and the went to Andy King after ex-ICU President Eric Allsop withdrew his candidacy. After much discussion on tuition fees, Simon Lewis was elected as Equal Opportunities Officer. There were no candidates for the posts of RAG Chair and Transport Officer, and so these could not be elected at the meeting. Rene Frank, a Biochemistry Postgraduate, was the only candi- date for Welfare Officer and field- ed a barrage of questions. Before the meeting could move to a vote, Andy Southern, a Mechanical Engineering student, shouted "Quorum!" and so forced the clo- sure of the meeting, as around 60 students were in attendance rather than the required 200. Mr Southern's actions were evidently Last Friday afternoon, unpopular with those who had Beit Quad was livened up Issue made the effort to attend, as a cry by the appearence of a of "You twat!" and similar com- Williams-Renault Formula 1118 ments were voiced. One car. Students were In a letter to Felix explaining challenged to perform the 5 June the reasoning behind his actions, fastest wheel change. It 1998 Mr Southern stated that he did not was won jointly, at 14.22 halt the meeting out of spite, seconds. claiming "I do not hate the union, Photos: David Roberts NEWS 5 June 1998 College Cash Bungs News in Brief... for BMS Builders flies in the face of Labour's sup- GOVENMENT port for free university education JEREMY THOMSON out." for all. These alterations are pushing DECLARE PARTY When added to plans to IC Estates Department is giving the competion date of the recently- widen the system of student out cash bonuses to construction named Fleming building back, leav- Chris Smith, Secretary for Culture, loans, they fear students will face team supervisors in a bid to get ing less and less time for the has announced an extra day's debts of more than £13,000 after the Bio-medical Building complet- Biology and Medical departments national holiday on 31 December they finish their degrees. ed in time. to move in before term starts in 1998. This means that there are You can read the bill in full at: A weekly prize of £200 is being October. The planned hand-over now four straight days across the www.su. ic.ac.uk/Felix/1 118/bill.html handed over to the best foreman, date has moved from 13 April to millennium in which to celebrate as judged by a panel consisting of "early August". Although unable to and recover, as Monday 3 January representatives from Estates and give a definate date, Mr Hilton told 2000 is also a bank holiday. TUBE STRIKE Schal, the main contractors. A fur- us that "we are contracted to have ther £1000 a week is being set the building ready for undergradu- CHAOS FEARS aside toward a gigantic party on 15 ate teaching on 1 October, and we MANAGING June, subject to workers attaining will", although he did conceed that Following an "overwhelming" vote weekly progress targets. it was getting "close". MENINGITUS by Tube members of the Rail Now in its fifth week, the More controversial is the fund- Maritime and Transport Union, scheme is intended to motivate ing for the scheme. According to a A new stratagy on managing Union leaders are to decide subcontractors whose work has source close to the Estates meningitus outbreaks was whether to order industrial action been repeatedly undone as more Department, the bonuses were released today by the Committee across London Underground. and more changes to the original originally intended to be £ 1500 of Vice-Chancellors and Principles They are protesting over the design have become necessary. So cash, rather than £200. However, (CVCP). It encourages all universi- Government's intention to part- far, £4m has been spent on alter- there was "deep concern" over ties to devise a strategy to deal privatise the Underground system ations, often forcing work to be realeasing this money, and the col- with the disease, which is two- to raise billions of pounds in ripped out and replaced. "There's lege auditors had to be contacted. and-a-half times more common in investment money. The leaders been an inordinate amount of fit- Mike Hansen, however, 15-19 year olds than the rest of announced their decision last out adaptions - 60 or 70 rooms appeared to be unaware of the the populations. night, after emergency sessions have been affected", explained Phil spending. "I know that it was dis- Its release follows the deci- all day yesterday. Hilton, the project manager, "it is cussed", he said, "but 1 don't know sion by Southampton University Some staff will be transferred demoralising and frustrating [for the any details. It's up to [lan] Caldwell to vaccinate all freshers this year, to the private companies and builders] so see finished, painted and his team to build the building, after three students died there widespread job losses are feared. and plastered rooms being ripped and we'll just let him get on with it." last year. Feelings are running high among union officials, with some press- ing for 48-hour stoppages. i Imperial College Union TUITION FEES Industrial action was backed by 2,471 members, with 462 against ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING REVOLT but only 49 per cent of more than 6,000 eligible staff returned their Today, 12.30pm. dBs. Your chance to: The Prime Minster faces a poten- ballot papers. Despite London Vote in officers for next year tially damaging backbench revolt Underground claims that Deputy Quiz your sabbatical officers next week over the plans to Prime Minister John Prescott has Preview the Annual Report. impose £ 1,000 tuition fees on given assurances on issues such as pay and working hours, RMT Everybody can turn up and vote, so BE THERE! students. Labour MPs have held meetings to encourage support assistant general secretary Bob for what some fear could be a Crow said: "We have been trying protest equal in size to the last for months to get the company to Students Dry in US year's rebellion over cuts in bene- discuss these issues but they have fit to single mothers, where one refused to do so." Industrial action by staff would seriously UNCLE SAM State Police, but by officers on minister and four parliamentary disrupt rail services, and poten- campus. These security guards are private secretaries resigned and tially cause chaos. Students across the USA have sworn-in police officers, and rou- 47 Labour MPs voted against the been staging protests and riots tinely carry 9mm pistols. The Government. last month over alcohol bans. University of California (Los Angeles Senior Government sources Tear gas was used against a 3000- Campus) has 75 such officers, but are anxious to avoid a repeat per- NO FELIX FOR strong group in Mitchigan, who San Diego University goes further; formance, and, until now, pelted police after alcohol was officers carry back-up handguns, believed that the Education TWO WEEKS banned at a football match. and two patrol cars are fitted with Secretary David Blunkett had The legal drinking age in prominent shotgun-racks. done enough with a series of con- Please note that the next issue, America is 21 - a rule which is being IC's own Chief Security Officer, cessions. Opposition, however, is the last of the term, will be issued enforced with increasing vigilance Ken Weir, when asked about the hardening against his Teaching on Wednesday 24 June. If you by campus police. Some universi- possibility of supplying weapons to and Higher Education Bill before have any ideas or contributions, ties have even banned drinking officers, said "we considered its final Commons stages early please contact us as soon as pos- altogether. batons and handcuffs, but realised next week. sible, in the Union Resource Students caught offending are that there'd be nowhere left on the Rebels claim that the move Centre. likely to be arrested, not by the belts to put the Magnums." 5 June 1998 NEWS Ken Weale Dies

JULIA HARRIES always extremely popular, having as he did time for absolutely everyone. He held the position of Dr Ken Weale, a former Senior Treasurer of Senior Treasurer for twenty-five years, showing Imperial College Union died in hospital of his interest in and dedication to the union. It is pneumonia on the seventh of May. He was for this as well as for his concern and hard work seventy-four years old. A keen sportsman and a that he will be best remembered. well loved member of college, Dr Weale man- A familiar figure in Southside Bar, Dr Weale aged to combine his various sporting activities was also an active member of all three of the with his dual roles as Senior College Tutor and a college elective social clubs, the Links Club, the member of the College Board of Governors. '22 Club and the Chaps, and regularly spoke at Excelling at rugby, he was the second President their dinners. Roger Pownell, Southside Bar of the Imperial College Rugby Football Club, as Manager and current President of the ICRFC, well as playing for Imperial College, the remembers him as "a really nice bloke, probably University of London and several Old Boys the most prominent person Imperial College has teams until well into his fifties. As well as this, ever had. He was always smiling, had time for he also played cricket for both Imperial and everyone and was a really special person." London University, serving as the President of A memorial service is to be held for him in the Imperial College Cricket Club for many October, as well as a Rugby Club memorial din- years, was a keen boxer and a former ner for all those who knew him well, reflecting Heavyweight Boxing Champion of the University his popularity in College. As one of the leading of London. Ken Weale; renouned for his energy and figures at Imperial College, he will be greatly Born in Wales in 1923, Dr Weale completed enthusiasm. Photo: Felix Archive missed by everyone who knew him or had deal- his first degree at the University of Aberystwyth, ings with him. coming to Imperial College as a Reader in the with student affairs. As a former Warden of Department of Chemical of Engineering shortly Falmouth-Keough Hall, he is credited with start- after the Second World War. As Senior College ing some of the hall's earliest traditions, and in Tutor, he lived on campus for over thirty years, a reminiscent mood was apt to tell the tale of and during that time became heavily involved the explosion on the Old Hostel roof. He was

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9.30am - 5.00pm (Wed 10.00am - 5.00pm) Cb? 4 LETTERS 5 June 1998 Letters to Felix,

USS SUCCESS For more information, I am FELIX HASN'T A available at [email protected] or Dear Jeremy, alternatively contact 'Third World CLUE I would like to remind every- First' (contact details below) to body about the 'Ethics for USS' pledge your support. At least twen- Sir, campaign that Imperial got a taste ty five IC lecturers already have. Why has ISIHAC (I'm sorry, I of at the beginning of the year. Cheers haven't a clue) been placed as the King's Union Manager Sacked 'Ethics for USS' has received Tom Smith (Physics UG2) bottom mark in last weeks music wide support from lecturers across section? ISIHAC has been a popular the country. The national radio panel game for almost 25 Association of University Teachers HOUSE OF HELL IV years. I would like to say it is as (the largest lecturers union) has funny today as it was 25 years ago, now, almost unanimously passed a Dear Felix but since I'm only 20, I can't really motion in support of 'Ethics for Following a rather nasty flood comment. It does however have a USS' and individual lecturer support on Tuesday, I have compiled a list large lisenership, who regularly tune FELIX is growing all the time. of anti-flood precautions: in to hear the manic and often sur- The largest single investors on real games played by the panellists. the stock exchange are the pension 1. If you live in the top of a Victorian ISIHAC regularly hosts talents funds. USS, the 'University terraced house, make sure the such as Tim Brook Taylor, Paul Superannuation Scheme' invests landlord has the gutters cleaned Merton and Samantha. One can issue-}U8 about 13.5 billion pounds a year in out regularly. hear games such as the simple, but industries around the world. This 2. Notify your landlord if you see complex sounding 'One song to the gives the pension fund investors wet patches in the ceiling after tune of another', 'Guess the bar- vast amounts of power and influ- heavy rain. Unless it is a hole in code' and of course the infamous

ence in the way that public compa- the roof, then the gutters need 'Mornington Crescent'? i. '...> 1 i>, nies and multinationals are run. cleaning immediately. ISIHAC is an example of eccen- Felix.,' K ,i Quad, > Consort Ethics for USS is a campaign 3. If you are unlucky and water tric British humour at its best. It can Roaci.L.;>ndoR, SW7 2815. calling on the University does come in, you MUST turn stand alongside Monty Python and Internal td::!SS072,''fax: 48072.. Superannuation Scheme to adopt the power off at the main fuse Spike Milligan as comedy classics. ./!.,,,-.,.. W4W0W. an 'Ethical investment Policy'. It STRAIGHT AWAY as the water With the surplus of monotonous Urgent cuit-Wdwjurs .Hhr.nvti: would currently be impossible to will come through the light sitcoms and cheap American tat on i.8086, «xfen!,:d: 0W i 222 222ft. invest that much money using any fixings first. radio and TV, I feel that this form of s'.mali; WWaW;;, aauk trustworthy ethical investment cri- 4. If the water is really pouring in, criticism is unfounded and to be FtiHx 2; produ' .Wv with stock exchange for maximum 5. Move coursework and notes first on the BBC web-site) phuto:™':,::!;;!*';. return. In order to acheive maxi- because everything else is cov- mum return for their shareholders ered by insurance. Really, Ross, I rather think you're hnt'ifrd til' Uv;j hoi.isrnsi '. -:2"'W". (ie. Pension funds), companies are 6. Make sure everything is dry being a bit uncharitable there, old ikion 2n;.:' 2'st 2e2 '. 2.'W, more likely to disregard the (including the inside of sockets) chap, what with that Sorry I 2n;v:r; Cor> -oh 2<:hW ( o>Kit Environment, and anything that before turning the power on. Haven't a Clue being, well, rather SW? 2BI222M; WW 722 2227 costs them money such as their pointless, what with all that own employees. Currently we are If you are considering renting a Mornington Crescent nonsense, seeing the 'Corporatisation' of top floor flat, look at the ceiling very Henry, and oh there's a number 27W2';-: Universities which gives us less carefully. Ask about any staining or 24 going down the Kilburn Park WWi' Jei''=:;!">;? Wlor; wyn choice over what we research and loose wallpaper near to outside Road, I mean one never really little say over what is done with our walls. knows what they're talking about, i. hi ,!..Vrl.i: . I ''...:' work. This 'cyclic' chain of events Other clues are different types does one oh, that was a beautiful 2/::..:"! «.:'.!':,>.!, means that unless employees of wallpaper in the same room or googlie going down the off side W',:«C i",C (I'V ' (public and private) take a stance to only rooms along one wall being and Jack's tossed it to his man at jtisor1 RftiTiitfW'haifi .S>:2 22>!< J7-. break the chain by investing their freshly painted. Don't be fobbed off siliy-mid-off who lobs it to Gough W W:-W 'is

pensions ethically, they are their by the landlord saying that it has at long leg I mean to say, you 22:2< i. i; iii i. : .": ii ".. own victims. been sorted out. It needs doing wouldn't catch us talking such Fe,"2':;:Tf:S 2.220;": W": Tsv'.-ul Although investing 'Ethically' several times a year. nonsense, Henry, it's rather I K(Vh'- v" 77'' '»V;;!!(:! , . renz inevitably means investing in small- I know this seems like overkill inane, that's all oh and there's a Spcii.- ?c.2i"" :'.. 7227: i:e

er companies, there is evidence to but had I not been in on Tuesday troop of three pigeons wandering

this way gives better return, apart find my books, notes and computer field and a rather gothic choco- I''.'..V'1M' .. ' 1' from which, USS pensions are guar- ruined and wet plaster over every- late cake has been thrust into my anteed anyway, which means that thing. Even so, I still jump out of my hand etc etc... you can't do yourself ANY harm by skin at the sound of running water! supporting this vital campaign. Abigail Hopson, Chem 2 5 June 1998 NOTICES 8. EDITORIAL

nE21LPOEcL7/i\[3,L7 SQ\X7S ^BOrnlT Editorial

Please note that there will be no more full issues oi One of the greatest causes of profit) the next day, with no-body Felix this term until the final issue on 24 June, due human suffering, animal cruelty any the wiser. You may find it sur- to the Felix of/ice moving house. However, we will and environmental destruction prising that even the shiny new issue a newsletter next Friday to keep yon today is the pernicious barrier that 'ethical' banks such as The Co- informed of the progress of the DP (F&S) election. has been erected between people operative bank indulge in this dubi- It you have any ideas or contributions for the final and their money. ous practice. issue of term, please come and see us in the Union This may seem like a rather What, then, can be done to Resource Centre as soon as possible. sweeping statement, but let me prevent our money being used to Thanks. Ed. explain. There are, and always will support causes with which we'd be, people so deeply selfish and rather drill holes in our head than mercenary that they don't care be associated? Notice that at the SAVE POUNDS WITH YOUR UNION CARD £££££ whether they are personally fund- beginning of this article I did not ing and hence supporting torture, say that money itself was causing murder and war. These people are New VAT regulations pertaining to catering in universities mean these problems. Money is a tool, thankfully in the minority, and were that we must charge VAT to non IC students; ie. staff, students and a powerful one at that. If ordi- at other institutions and should the occasion arise, the general their actions to be seen directly, nary investors wish to change the public. We have an agreement with HM Customs and Excise that they would probably be branded as fruits of their investments for the during term time we pay over an amount to cover the VAT on a 'evil' by society. Yet, oppressive better, then it is the money itself pre determined percentage of our sales, however, this agree regimes thrive, millions are exploit- that should be used as the lever. If ment does not extend to the holidays. During vacations we must ed to the point of death and the investments trend towards ethical identify whether each customer is an IC student or not, and planet is being sacked beyond pos- schemes and away from those charge them VAT if they are not. sibility of recovery, all in the name proven to be immoral, then you of profit for the average investor can be damn sure that the banks so If you show your IC Union Card at the till you will not have (ie. all of you reading this article). and investment agencies will be pay VAT on your purchase. If you are a member of staff or you So why do we, fair-minded and falling over each other to provide have no proof of IC student status then we will have to charge conscientious people, continue to such opportunities. actively promote such atrocities? you VAT. True, most of us invest com- Simple - ignorance. None of us paratively little, and hence our know what our money is being leverage is small (but NOT negligi- invested in, and further more we ble). This is why the success of the have no way of finding out. HAIR NEWS HAIR NEWS HAIR NEWS 'Ethical investment for the USS' Take, as an example, the night- scheme (see page four) is such banking system operated by virtu- good news. Not only, does it have ally all British banks. After the close the extra credence of being a state of business at the stock exchange investment scheme, but it also and the closure of the banks for the packs a £ 1 3.5 billion punch. This is HAIR CUT evening, the colossal sums of more than a start - it is part of the money contained in ordinary cur- solution. rent accounts is amassed and [Simon Baker would like it to be invested overnight in Eastern known that he doesn't agree in the £8.00 exchanges. It is then returned (with slightest - see column] UNISEX UNISEX UNISEX UNISEX UNISEX INCLUDES:

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Tom Smith's letter, on funds do exert influence, but this is behaves. Following Tom's advice, behalf of Third World First, principally used to maximise share- ethical investment soon becomes as Elsewhere, we have had the first cannot go unanswered. For holder value, not political trouble- prudent as five card stud. Conservative reshuffle since the those of you that skipped making. The notion that the USS can Moreover, smaller companies have election, and it seems to have been the letters page in a frantic effort to change the world is nonsense. significantly underperformed the very sensible. Peter Lilley is more get straight to my humble prose, the In order to invest 'ethically', top 100 companies over the last suited to the deputy leadership, Association of University Teachers Tom suggests that it will be neces- few years. Given the choice where his policy-making skills will be have passed a motion to promote sary to invest in smaller companies. between shares in Glaxo or a tinpot used to greatest effect. The promo- 'ethical' investment by the Ignoring for the macrame outfit, I tion of Anne Widdecombe to University Superannuation Scheme, moment the impli- i r™n| know where I'd Shadow Health spokesman is the lecturers' pension fund. This, as cation that all large Qj put my cash. In inspired. At the risk of stating the Tom pointed out, was first raised a corporations are \y ^ ("^ his quest to save obvious, the woman is terrifying. few months ago, and I had my tyrannical mon- j^>» ' ty^ the world from Frank Dobson must be praying for doubts. I still do. These objections sters determined 00 capitalist Blair to reshuffle, because she will were principally practically, suggest- to destroy the r**j* exploitation by wipe the floor with him. Frank, bless ing that the fund's investment world, it may be ) the West (social- him, is not the sharpest tool in the returns may fall, a view that was true that small, c ism and environ- box, and any reluctance to change countered with 'it doesn't matter niche companies o mentalism are jobs must have instantly evaporated. because the pension is guaranteed.' may be more like- never far apart), True, insofar as the payouts are ly to satisfy the Tom forgets the Finally, not one week after I sang fixed at a fixed proportion for every political agenda ofj H S* —^" ethical question the praises of the recent Ante Room year of service, but if the returns dip, the AUT. 00 f"+ of playing fast exhibition Now it appears that someone will have to pick up the However, his sug- and loose with something very wrong is occurring. tab. This is most likely to be the gestion that such investment can the pensions of Britain's lecturers. If The windows have been covered employers or the government, but lead to higher returns is very mis- things went spectacularly wrong, we with Bacofoil and flashing lights either way the shortfall cannot sim- leading. 1 agree that if you manage would all suffer. It is not acceptable have been observed inside. I fear ply be met by magic. In the end, we to pick the next minnow about to to engage in gesture politics in this that some poor soul feels this is art, all pay. Tom is right in saying that turn into a whale, the profits will be manner, and 1 hope that the USS but there are other explanations. the pension funds wield consider- spectacular, but the chances of get- trustees see sense. Either Sherfield are beginning a pro- able influence, but the USS's £13.5 ting one's fingers burnt increase [The editor would like it to be gramme of mass hypnosis or we've billion is relatively insignificant in the exponentially. This is not the way known that he doesn't agree in the got the builders in. If this is the case, grand scheme of things. Pension that a responsible pension fund slightest - see editorial] I apologise.

Taurus (21/4 - 2W5) buying large^fekJTOfcg|Ke v«o approaches Capricorn (24/12 - 20/1) Alas, your attemfts to grcllv a tail have been you carrying a wdebeMt mil, vjearing a head- Alas, your finances are in an palling state this thwarted. This wilf^gygj^yrifove beneficial as it scarf and speamg in ffng^gflParge generally week. This could be due to j abit of spend- would have clashj^^nomTmwith your saffron- means gin. 1 * ing whatever remains ant or loan on coloured mascar^ and orafce fright wig. The large amounts of ;routing. This is best thing for yoiJt to do ntjlv is to purchase a Libra (23/9 - 23/10) your landlord's job i o not concern large bottle of me^MMMcohol and feed it to Alas, too many cooks spoil the broth, so stick to yourself over the staS holes in your pigeons. Pot Noodles and deJ|PSii||ed kebabs. Your culi- kitchen. nary skills willjtgs4j|Pful to\(Qjyyjhis fortnight as Gemini (22/5 - 21/6) the Emir of Wales enters your humble dwelling Aquarius (21/1 - 18/2) Alas, the nurs^.l^J^dd^pKtiMI morphine and I demanding suMMIMEP§WVlYlrri a traditional Alas, morning has broken, like the first morning, cannot get another fix. Kirandparents feature Aztec meal orboiled carrots ana Spam. He will and that bloody blackbird has left a fresh drop- heavily this fortniglt as tlf|se who have crossed never bother you again. ping on your pillow. Do not leave your window to the other side); returiJj|o give you spiritual open all night GuJnea pi<*s can oft. i guidance in yoiA diffljbntial calculus and blackbirds, as thft^comehugeMtigifving bird- knitwear construction exam. Shame they are horoscopes eaters at night a.fd^^m*Cathery things really poor at*e!lxlff^^™^TOr without remorse. Not a lot of people know that.

Cancer (22/6 - 22/7) Pisces (19/2 - 20/3) Alas, without love, life has no purpose. Dye your with Alas, fishface, you at the ever hair green, it^Re n11|< piriK^toch is the new increasing torture does here, and that grey, which Is the new Mtown^jpfnch is the new there is indeed more ie. Have you black. If you^Smr^toyr fingernails orange with Qeri "Ex-Spice ever considered changin^ of deodor- i <*ople wi^irvorship you as ant? There are many? which cater a god of fashior^tertiptaS^ffi^become a viable for your own particular bodily odour. option again. Scorpio (24/10 - 22/1 1) Aries (21/3 - 20/4) Leo (23/7 - 23/8) Alas, a week of extreme torment seems likely. Alas, Guinness dotff ;ror^Fgo^oryou, as Alas, the gerbil haJr^meTkd and become a Poor you. Allevhue tha pain byJBfjtmg vast quan- it poured into ymir und nts byWour small Wellington boot. Th« matroa will give you your tities of pills anu will be spoon-fed cus- not work that weiTbuMt leaWyou won't be able feed your flatmates slug so fie and Bailey's and tard until yourG^pfto aJfreletubby. If you're to stop laughing. Trusf me on this one. Martini. They did not pay | badgers in worms lucky, Xena, WaWo^'rinBss will rescue you, to torment you and make ur life hell, I did. but as she does>»l#»

The recent earthquake in northern entrance to see Scream 2 were other's company, Geri is as sick of limit, as more and more greedy Afghanistan was a terrible natural three column inches about a cer- the sight of the rest of them as a lot corporations longed for a grinning blight: a plague of Biblical propor- tain minor earthquake somewhere of us seem to be. cheeky face on the front of their tions, tragically killing approximate- in some poor country. And three Having said all that, credit must latest line of toenail clippers. When ly five thousand people and injuring pages about Ginger Spice. go to them for going for broke. Bros split up, they found them- many others. We do not even have When you consider the much- History suggests that the lifetime of selves in serious trouble with the comfort of knowing that insur- publicised bickering of rock such a canned pop delight is not American Express: when Geri left ance companies will be paying the dinosaurs Oasis, who are still large- long, and they seemed to realise the Spice Girls, they were worth bills... Where do you reckon this ly intact, and then compare it to that getting as much money as tens of millions of pounds each. piece of literally ground-shaking the relatively strife-free career of possible in as short a space of time Incidentally, Craig Logan, ex-Bros news should end up in any self- Posh, Ginger, Scary, Baby, Sporty as possible was the way forward. bassist, made the sensible move; respecting newspaper? Front page and Turmeric, you would be forgiv- Look at laughable teen legends last I heard he was managing headline, perchance? Well, the en for thinking that Girl Power Bros: probably just as much of a Neneh Cherry, while the other two tabloids didn't think so. In fact, would live forever. This was almost phenomenon as the Spices. The are still desperately trying to make Monday's edition of a certain pop- believable, given that the Fab Five difference lay in their attitude to their fantastic comeback records. ular tabloid ran as follows: pages were one of the few manufactured the media. Bros didn't bother much They will probably make more one to five - Hoddle's expulsion of bands to actually work their socks with it, although sponsorship deals money by signing on. Paul Gascoigne (bring on Owen, I off. Since their chart-topping begin- with second-hand clothes shops So if the next big teen thing are say); two full-page promotions; a ning with Wannabe, their faces flogging ripped jeans, contracts reading this (admittedly not likely, page 3 girl generously showing her have been everywhere, whether with Grolsch, or, more likely, agree- unless the Calculus Boys are sign- rear to the world; a full-page ad; you like it or not: sponsorship ments with hydrogen peroxide ing as we speak), remember that then stuck between an article about deals; two albums; television manufacturers, would all have been your fans will be distressingly fickle. a man who wanted to get married appearances. They put the split vaguely possible. Conversely, the One day, probably sooner than you in prison and a banal piece about down to artistic differences, but number of Spice-sponsored prod- think, they will grow up. someone who managed to get free perhaps after all this time in each ucts expanded seemingly without Ali Campbell

Woter

Salads got good results with any old bowl and a metal spotlessly clean and dry. A possibly useful trick Despite the usual post-May monsoon season tablespoon. Next, drizzle a small amount of oil is to make sure all the ingredients and the bowl I'm carrying on with my summer theme. This (say about 1 cc for the scientific amongst you) are at the same (room) temperature. Gently time I'm looking at the delicate and often con- and stir this into the mustard until it is com- crack an egg and separate the yolk, removing as troversial topic of salads. Now salads can be pletely incorporated. Then add a little more oil, much of the white as possible. Plonk the yolk based on may things: lettuce, tomato, rice, stir, more oil, stir, more oil etc. It is essential into the bowl, add a small tablespoon of mus- potato, couscous (see Felix 1115) etc. that the oil is fully emulsified each time before tard and mix together well. The process is basi- However, they must be fresh and the ingredi- cally the same as for french dressing, mixing in ents MUST be of top quality because that's the oil drop by drop and making sure it is com- where the taste comes from. pletely mixed in before adding any more until So, experiment, mix and match and remem- you have a fairly substantial amount of mayon- ber that lettuce does not just mean iceberg naise at which point you can start adding the oil (which in my humble opinion has to be the most in more rapidly. One egg yolk is enough for uninteresting sorry excuse for a vegetable that around 200ml of oil so don't be shy. You know I've ever come across). There are dozens if not the mayonnaise is ready when you can make it hundreds of different lettuces even if you can't into sharp peaks by pulling the spoon out. Stop get them all in the supermarket. Cos, chicory, adding oil and mixing at this point. It's usually a round, frisee, oakleaf, red oakleaf, scarolle, good idea to add something acidic to a mayon- cress and I could go on. They're all available naise just to counterbalance all that grease. A over here and they're all excellent. Typical IC student, meet lettuce. Lettuce, couple of tbl of vinegar or lemon juice should To help ali this greenery go down and also you are no longer safe. do the trick to complement the simple uncooked vegetable tastes, it's usual to add some sort of dressing to you add any more or it will just separate out Potato Salad a salad. I'll go through the instructions for the later. Once you have used the equivalent of 2 Wash but do not peal 2 lb new potatoes. two most common and then a short bit on tbl oil you can pour the rest of it in more rapid- Cut them into bitesize pieces and cook in sim- potato salad which is far too simple and tasty to ly but keep stirring vigorously. You'll need to use mering water until just tender. Finely chop a miss out. a total of around 6 tablespoons of oil (i.e. 6 shallot and slice a stick of celery. Put all the parts oil to 1 part mustard to 1 part vinegar) but above in a large bowl, sprinkle generously with French Dressing taste the dressing when you've finished and salt and ground pepper, add 4-5 tbl of olive oil Put 1 level tablespoonful of smooth french adjust the seasoning as they say. and mix well. mustard, preferably from Dijon, and the same amount of wine vinegar into your salad bowl. Mayonnaise Dear me, the stress of these recipes! Add some freshly ground pepper and a pinch of For this one the state of the bowl IS impor- Antoine salt. Mix these up thoroughly crushing the salt tant. I like using a ceramic one because there is so it dissolves. There's a lot of blah about only a lot of stirring to be done and a good thick using a wooden bowl and spoon but I've always bowl won't move around too much. It must be IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION DRAMATIC SOCIETY PRESENTS

A 'w CHORUS OF By Alan Ayckbourn DISAPPROVAL PERFORMANCE BEGINS 7.30PM UNION CONCERT HALL WED 10 TO SAT 13 JUNE £7 / £5 CONCESSIONS TICKETS AVAILABLE FROM UNION OFFICE 5 June 1998 MUSIC 9

ALBUMS 808 STATE MIDGET 88:98 Jukebox }h

irst there was Ash, then Symposium and now Midget. F Here we have another typi- cally cheeky and chirpy indie band, following the footsteps of many before them. Midget, a band made up of three pre-pubes- cent teenagers have brought forth their debut album, but have you heard of them? Surprising if not, as during the last year they've managed to put out around seven singles. Their latest single, The Day Of Your Life is set to hit the charts with the force of a marshmallow, but it's not bad. It's just that o, I'm seventeen again, reel- 808 State were. While sweeping from Lamb, although it's not quite Midget are fighting for a hole in S ing from too much alcohol, through musical boundaries like up to the standard of her regular the market that is barely visible. too many bodies pressing they were Swiss border check- outfit. One does get the impres- Like their peers, Midget seem to close to me, sweat dripping into points, they still managed to pro- sion of them cashing in on the have two modes. Loud and pacey my eyes. Trying to work out this duce a succession of floor-fillers cachet associated with being pio- or acoustic and cheeky. This con- 'dancing' lark, throwing myself into that everyone loved. Cubik, with its neers of a genre which has ulti- trast can clearly be seen in the two shapes that cause a concerned angular melody and clipped beats mately moved on sufficiently to best songs of the album, The One passer-by to enquire if I'm having a is pure techno class while Olympic render 808 State somewhat Who Could Save Me and Canada. seizure. Decide to turn in my eases your head open and smoth- obsolete. Canada rips through the verses recently acquired dancing shoes ers the synapses in Golden Syrup. But this matters little when pre- coming to a climax before slowing and take up knitting instead. And Of course, their point is not that sented with In Yer Face (which is), down to a chorus delivered with then, and then.... The Only Rhyme they're back to rehash the old hits, and Pacific State, featuring the the softness of the lead singer of That Bites. Cheesy western sample but to prove that they never really most memorable oboe riff ever. Catch. They try to tell you that (dunno which one, don't care) went away, as the latter half of the Who cares if they're still 'relevant' they're young and out for a laugh, pulling a rictus grin around my album confirms. when they've got a string of such their lyrics talking of unimportant face, feet finally achieving some A plethora of collaborations are unarguably brilliant tunes to their things such as alcopops and invis- level of synchrony, the boy present, from the laid-back Lopez name. ible balloons. becomes a god. At least, that's (with james Dean Bradfield) to the Now, where did I put those You can't really fault the album how I remember it. predictably daft Bjork outing, white gloves? Aaaah, sorted. CI for musical content, except for Without wallowing in nostalgia Ooops. Particularly good is Azura, Norm lack of originality. They have the too much, 808:98 is a timely which features the swoonsome 'we're young and want to mosh' reminder of just how bloody good vocal talents of Louise Rhodes moods of Symposium, combined with the quirky and youthful approach of Catch. Had they emerged two years ago, they HEADSWIM would have been seen as fresh, but unfortunately they haven't, so Despite Yourself all they can rely upon is that the youth of today have the money little known fact about wonderful refreshing feeling for passion. Interestingly it is the more and time to follow one more band AHeadswim is that they start- those of us who occasionally feel upbeat tracks which fail to strike a like this. CI David H ed life as a dodgy metal out- like punching lan Broudie in the chord, namely Holy Ghost. This is fit complete with long hair and tight face. the only bad track on the album trousers. What happened, then, to The power in the music comes which flies by and leaves little initiate such a drastic change of from a combination of the extraor- impression. Reviews are given a mark out of music and style? Well in the words dinary voice of Daniel Glendining This really is an absolutely five as follows... of vocalist Daniel Glendining 'we (sounding similar to Sting, only bet- superb debut album which will wrote some songs'. The songs in ter) and the harsh but ultimately hopefully cause Joe public to wake Drinking Beer question are all packed with a raw beautiful, melodious guitaring cour- up, smell the roses and send emotion not heard of since the tesy of Daniel and the strangely Headswim to the stardom they BBQs likes of Radiohead, who are obvi- monikered Clovis Taylor. deserve. Headswim are the perfect ous influences. The two singles so The album is populated by a antidote for those who have tired Sunshine far, Tourniquet and Better Made, series of dark haunting songs each of OK Computer and desperately were strangely ignored by the sin- one reflecting various aspects of need another dose of depression Holidays gles buying public, both only briefly depression; Wishing I was Naive an to remind them of just how bad this gracing the bottom end of the top emotion I think we all have some- term can get. Lazing around forty. This album definitely times; Clinging to the Wreckage Finally I'd like to thank Dave deserves to do better. and the achingly brilliant finale Hellard for consistently handing his No Stars Exams Headswim are amongst the Brother as well as the aforemen- reviews in late and therefore for- new set of bands touting misery as tioned singles are definite stand feiting this album. Cheers Dave. CI the mood of the late nineties, a out tracks, each one dripping with Alex 10 MUSIC 5 June 1998

ALBUMS PEACH TRICKY

Audiopeach '/2 Angels with Dirty Faces

t's summer and the mosqui- fter listening to this, 1 was Singin' The Blues is my favourite. toes are out in force, congre- astonished by both the level It, quite literally, sings the blues. I gating under trees and lying in Aof brilliance and of the sheer Tricky's female singing partner, wait for bare arms and lazy stu- crapness that this album managed Martina, features over a funky dents who want to listen to their to achieve. I've never been a fan of backing and it is superb - it has to brand new CDs in the glorious out- the man, but his albums have be heard to be believed. Broken doors, instead of in the stuffy, sub- always provided me with two or Homes features the talents of P. J. tropical heat of their bedrooms. three choice cuts. This time Harvey on vocals. The result is That said, this time of year is around the said choice cuts are of eerie but works quite well. On the exceptionally stressful for every- real quality but the rest are not Moment I Feared, Tricky covers one. I've had a terrible lab course, a really worth the listening time. Slick Rick and the question is, sim- lot of write-ups to fake and whole Unless you are a real fan, of ply, why? This is awful and should amount of revision to plough course. have been left well alone. Carriage through, as well as the day job, and After such a long time away (so For Two pops up half way through so I decided to practise Critical long that his own uncle is probably the the album and is very odd. It is Path Analysis by reviewing this a bigger star now) I didn't know very slow and has those great album in my sleep. I started listen- what to expect. After listening to whispered vocals that create a ing to it at eleven o'clock on Friday Angels With Dirty Faces, I'm still feeling of real darkness in the song. night, and by four am Saturday 1 unsure about its actual content. As Throughout the song, Martina was hooked on the electronic, an album, it somehow manages to sings the verse from Billie summery, sort-of sexy music pro- go from one end of the spectrum Holliday's God Bless The Child duced by the strong female fronted to the other - with most of it at the and, this may sound strange, it band Peach. With her slightly flat Tricky with his dreadful end. comes off well. voice, Lisa Lamb is the perfect new Marilyn Mellow kicks the album off with 1 was indifferent to this as an accompaniment to revision and lab Monroe wig. a wicked backing but it is ruined by album. If you are a fan then you've Tricky singing in a strange high- probably already got it but if you pitched voice; once he returns to aren't, then just buy the singles. his usual whispering/rapping per- Leave this album alone. H sona, the track salvages some respectability. The next track, Milen

reports, and I've had the CD on THE ESSENTIAL CHOON loop all day. The music is extreme- Fat Boy Slim - The Rockefeller Skunk ly poppy and makes me want to Although this song is a tad repetitive, it breaks up the Gomez - Get Myself Arrested put on my six-inch platform shoes monotony by simply slowing it right down and then and start dancing. I know that this bringing back the tempo. This pretty wicked track is let is a bad idea, as I will fall and break down by its continuous repetitions. my leg, but there's something in the music that just makes me smile like Audioweb - Personal Feeling an idiot. It must be that all the It sounds like Audioweb have decided to release a half songs are extremely unchallenging, hearted attempt at a strings-backed epic. This is a without any real meaning or deep massive disappointment after the blistering assault of feeling. At heart, this album is hol- Policeman Skank. low. But, who cares? It's summer, the sun is shining and I'm tired of Arnold - Fishsounds angst-ridden, male-orientated, gui- This is a feeble , boring and bland guitar strumming tar-led music for naval gazers. This joke. The single cover just about sums the song up, album has a light, frothy lemon- with a pathetically drawn phone. Why? mousse, summery, sugary flavour, and I think it's great, in a slightly Quest - Initiate the Creative This is bluesy and laidback which is basically the recipe naff and tacky way. It started off with a promising latin beat but ended up for the perfect summer song. What is it with bands I really, really wanted to slate turning into a hybrid of pop and soul that just grates nowadays, glorifying criminal behaviour. What will be this CD. The cover shouts post- after a couple of listens. next? modern, pre-millennium pseudo- art at you, with its tasteful orange Cartoon - Fade Away Ether - Best Friend and cream photographs. The Isn't this sucha cliched title for an indie song? Well Pop is the only word to describe this. You get carried songs are very sub-St Etienne Euro- don't be surprised because it is an indie song but a along with the cheerfulness of it all as much as you try Pop but without the satirical edge. pretty mediocre one at that. 'Drift on the ocean and to resist. Sounding like a mutation between Squeeze The single, On my Own, sounds fade away ' Yeah, fade right out of my stereo. and Wham can't be a good thing, but it won't stop you like Gina G covered by a bunch of singing along to it. half-witted school-children...and Insane Clown Posse - Hokus Pokus yet, as a whole, the album is good. Are this lot meant to be a comedy version of Cypress Pulp - A Little Soul Like the Spice Girls and Hill. 'Hokus Pokus jokus' is what you get for the cho- This is Back For Good isn't it? Are Pulp turning into Bananarama, Peach grows on you. rus plus a cringe worhty fairground sample. Save it for Take That wannabes? d Sorry. E] Halloween guys. Jessica Rabbit 5 June 1998 MUSIC

THA BOMB I

Yeah, yeah we back, its back, after Easter also \ 1 71 x' , ... The Tribe are finished work of his new *" weeks of chillin' 1 thought it about saw the release Wlicit S Up Y c\ll! coming to give album VIP. Rumour has it is time to hit ya with a dose of Tha of Aretha support for their hard at work on material for Bomb and bring everyone back up Franklin's set, after a huge hiatus new album A Love Moment due a certain M. Jackson. to date with all the happenings in the original queen of soul has out on 14 July. This week's single releases see the world of street soul. returned and in what style. The Public Enemy (remember some of the biggest names in hip I said fire it up! The Easter break album name A Rose is Still A Rose them?) haven't released an album hop and RnB releasing top tunes, was huge for Busta, the Knight is quite fitting since this lady can for some time, and suddenly were but 'cos of the space constraint i'll Rider sampling Fire It Up did some still claim to be amongst the best, if getting two in one year as far tell ya all about it next week. Shout serious damage in the top half of not the best. The title track from as I'm concerned it's all good! The outs to all those who matter! the top ten. Busta was flavour of the album is the killer cut, but the first release strictly speaking isn't a Milen the month appeared on numerous rest is still a class PE album. Rather, shows including Top of the Pops act. the soundtrack to West Coast Update and, strangely, TFI Friday. Then the During Easter the Spike Lee film boy went to The Temple in the Gangstarr He Cot Came, but At long last, Death Row have Tottenham and ripped the place album Moment o, seeing as all the released an album worthy to sit- up. People who were there say Truth dropped tracks are by Public alongside The Chronic, that Westwood's place will never Before its release Enemy 1 think it Dopigystyk: < the Tup^c join', see a show like that again. most were chattin' rates as a PE album. x'luri.ftsy Daz DUhiser. Iii* I said fire it up. And Canibus about this as the Personally I've only album 1 into the hip and LL are doing just that, its on! hip hop set of the caught one cut from hop alb''-, harts at number two, The beef started when LL changed year and after part- it, the title track He only be 1 1 ' 'he top spot Canibus's verse on 4,3,2,1 and ing with my hard Got Game and boy by the Gangstarr album. The added a cuss on Canibus into his earned cash I gotta say they this is head nodding infectious as album's r.slled RetiJiaann own verse. Canibus didn't sit back, weren't wrong. This album is gonna hell - this is a tune! The rest of the Revenge and Get Back. This gets this boy bit back and ripped LL to feature in the top five of everyone's album I'm told kicks it equally hard back to 1 ' st flava shreds with the banging 2nd Round hip hop hit list of that I have no and features many guest appear- and it has some great tracks on it Knockout, but LL got off the canvas doubt, my favourite tune is the ances, most notably from ICRS-1. (even Tupac makes an and has come back with his retala- stunning Royalty, featuring K-Ci PE's second release for the year will appearer.ee on one). The latest tion cut The Ripper Strikes Back. In and Jojo from Jodeci; DJ Premier be their album (as opposed to the tumour' 1 ituanon Ripper LL has a go at Canibus and lays down a wicked melody, Jodeci soundtrack which has PE on every are that he has sk eal with Wyclef (reportedly the new manag- boys do their thing and Guru, well track but isn't a really a PE album) Master P's i" i >rds fot er of Canibus), cussing the latter Guru does what he does best. called Resurrection. I haven't heard an undi 1 of money was probably a mistake 'cos now Royalty hasn't got a release date a thing about it or from it and don't and word has it that Master P has he has both gunning for him and yet, but when it does you better really know what to say, so I'm not gone in: g 'cos he has had Wyclef has just finished his retalia- recognize, cause Gangstarr are the gonna say shit. death (row?) threats issued tion cut What 'Clef Got to Do With kings. If you wanna check On the future album front, a against him 1 nay stili It?. Winner? LL's got history, but Gangstarr for yourself they are new album is due from Maxwell I,,,-.- ' '!> Canibus is the rawest rapper coming to England as support for A called Embrya, after the first this reach. around, he got the skillz. Tribe Called Quest on July 16th. has alot to live up to. R. Kelly has

YOU'RE READING ICRADIOIII

' What is a committee? A group of The masters of mixing, Dj the unwilling, picked from the unfit, Sianide &. Desire, will be up on to do the unnecessary.' - Richard Thursday @10pm in Promo City. Harkness. Playing the very latest dance music Well as this year draws (on a in an urban style. joint) to an end, I think it is only fit- Remember there are still slots ting that we congratulate in a mutu- free everyday (just) so if you want a al brown nosathon all those who go, come down, join up, roll up, have helped to transform the sta- and play us a tune. tion into one which kicks more butt Plus NEW for Next Year - IC than Beavis' foot. Radio via the Internet in CD-quality Respect goes out to Jon Crabb sound, 24hours a day, 365 days a for making this page (he's a wasp year. and salivates paper ... really), Ross On a more serious note, there for getting DJ Hurricane in the stu- is a REWARD if you have found dios, John C for all the gigs, Gareth Kenny Green's stilts (the ones with for painting the Back Room a deep Kenny driving a Union minibus (he's under the dog in a "I was con- the concealed cigar compartment). lilac, Neel for using the recording trolling the pedals" position). Allegedly. If you have, then please hand them studio more than ever before, in at the radio station or to securi- Kenny for being amusing and to the return of Nelson Frisbee and be continuing their tradition of giv- ty, and claim your free squirrel* rest of the crew not forgetting the Spencer Wriggly after a brief inter- ing away far too many cinema tick- autographed by Ginger Spice and Dj's and our lively audience! lude in the Andes breeding with ets for Warner Village every week, Shergar (both sponsored by Good luck to next year's com- Pink Pandas (you should see the as well as playing world exclusive Winalot). They are needed as soon mittee who will make ICR bounce photographs). Their show will bring remixes in their unique pir8 style as possible so Kenny can run for further than Zebedee giving Tigger you up on an illegal high of wit to show. Listen up on Wednesdays mayor of London. a piggy-back whilst being prodded feather dust away those revision between 6 and 8 to WIN WIN WIN! L8rz, Shave the Schedule. where it hurts with an IC Radio blues. Tune in Mondays, l2-2pm If R&J3 is your thing, listen to Ed * - Not to be used in conjunction with any branding iron (cheers Chef). for some light relief. Adoo from Kiss 100 every Tuesday other offer. No cash alternative. This week's highlights are the DJ Pugwash and Peter Terry will @10pm exclusive to IC Radio. 12 MUSIC 5 June 1998

CLUBSCENE - COMPETITIONS

Simply Electric. innovative ideas on display. ICARUS - Kamikaze Mixed by Force &. Styles iririr This is not a cheesy mixed compila- Anion Tobin. Permutations Release Date : 1st June * tion of 4-beat / happy hardcore (Ninja Rec) **l/2 The first tune, Moon Palace is a anthems as you may think, but con- You won't find this one under easy dark and mysterious affair. sists entirely of Force fk Styles own listening - quite the opposite in Throughout the CD Drum 'n' Bass work, quite incredible. I didn't fact. The reason for this is that the normality is suspended, and the realise how many of the biggest whole album borders on the side of duo's shared love of mathematics - tracks over the past years where experimentation, trying new idea phew there's still hope for me yet down to these two. Although it gets some that work and others that (But sadly not those on Joint Maths a bit too cheesy for my taste buds don't. Some of the tracks are chal- fk Computing!) - architecture and towards the end, it starts out in fine lenging to listen to even sounding industrial development sites leaves style with some of the duo's earlier abrasive and distorted. I feel this is nothing to the imagination. Okay, work that even I've got from a few where the problems lie. so pythagorean identities don't years back. So if you like your With Amon trying too hard to come flying atcha in tune 3, Agua dance music fast and sometimes be different, the majority of listen- Para Mis Abuelos but the influences hectic - uplifting with plenty of ers would simply not bother of the ruff bassline and melodic piano action and stomping fighting through the first few tones lead to seven minutes of basslines in a hardcore fashion this strange tracks to the more, dare I hen handed this CD to seductiveness. should be right up your street and say, normal tracks further into the review, I was worried - Xenotransplantation is as weird bring back plenty of memories. album. Like Sordid &. Nightlife a W very worried. What with as it sounds - a laid back, spooky clever little DfkB number that I a weird alien-cum-human on the intro giving way to twisted beats Mogwai. Kicking A Dead Pig couldn't really see working in a club front cover and an artist by the before submerging into a tirade of (Eye Q) set but fits perfectly with the name of Icarus, I expected some electronic sounds. Yum! Nice title, this album is a collection album, Escape is a track that is cry- hour-long assault of Drum & Bass Baggage Claim, the last track, of remixes of Mogwai's work by the ing out for a full on DfkB mix if you that was the soundtrack to the X- takes musical styles far beyond the likes of Hood, Max Tundra, Klute, ask me, loads of clever samples files movie. usual D'n'B parameters - having an DJ Q and even Mogwai himself. and fx just too minimal on the beat The press release told me to lis- almost techno feel to it, and all Plenty of originality all pretty much front. ten in darkness, but shit-scared I tracks link in superbly - highlighting on the experimental side of things. Influences from Jazz, Blues, listened to it in the blazing sunlight the skill in this duo's soundtrack Packed full of novel ideas and hip-hop, samba DfkB and even surrounded by numerous imple- composition. clever little touches - but of limited Batucada are pretty obvious with ments - ready to repel the devil if Moth exhibits a haunting, dou- appeal due to this experimental tracks like Switch which is a jazz he came. ble bass cityscape feel, and the often dark and sometimes plain piano intro with whaling trumpet Thankfully, he never did, and an crashing, hypnotic Gordon Detail insane. Tracks like Helicon 2 starts etc joining in with computer fx over hour after starting, I was glad to say merge to add yet another more out with a minute of mind bending the top I that all had changed was my than worthwhile dimension to the noise that isn't at all pleasant. Overall I was disappointed with perception of what D'n'B is. Recordings of Substance label. Apart from the odd harsh crazy this album there are some good Icarus are cousins Ollie Brown Chris track this album is quite dreamy tracks here and plenty of clever Sam Britton, and this is without a and trippy but a little too minimal ideas but sadley they are in the doubt as fierce as a debut album for most. If your interested in mak- minority. comes. ing electronic music of any sort this Jo Public is well worth checking as some very

r

What's In The Box - Where We Check What's In The Front Of Top DJs* Record Boxes.

DJ Scott Garcia (Garage)- Top 20

1. Lenny Fontanna - Spirt Of The Sun (Public Demand) 11. Volume 3 - Do You Wanna? (Club Asylum) 2. Scott Garcia - This One's For The Ladies (Conngeted) 12. MJ Cole - / Need Your Love (Dubz For Kubs) 3. Dub Monsters - This Is Serious (Underground Corruption) 13. M-Dub Vol.1. - Over Here (White) 4. Scott Garcia presents The Dark Series - Wicked Minds 14. Dem 2 Remix - Beautiful People (White) (Underground Corruption) 15. Mustaq - Over &. Over (Fuzzed) 5. Scott Garcia - The Ladies (Conngeted) 16. Danny J Lewis - Spend The Night new horizons mix (White) 6. Lutricia MC Neal - Standed baffeled mix (Wild Star) 17. Jack &. Jill - Don't Know Baby (Casa Trax) 7. Chris Mac - Rydim 4 Ya (Confetti) 18. State Of Mind - This Is It pt.2 (Ministry) 8. Studio 2 - Travelling Man (Mutiply) 19. Persian - Persian Dangerous (SJL Rec) 9. Jazz Mondo - Feel The Jazz Flow (Promo) 20. TJ Cases - Cheqdagrove (Cut fk Play) 10. Skandal - Wot We Do (White)

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ACCESS VISA MASTERCARD CASH CHEQUES Felix: 58072, [email protected] 14 FILM 5 June 1998

THE GENERAL Starring: Brendan Gleeson, )on Voight, Adrian Dunbar Director: John Boorman * * * Vi

all me a cynic, but after John portrait of a gangland criminal, with Boorman won Best Director a charicature of a loveable rogue, C 1 testing the audience's loyalty to for this film at Cannes, was somewhat sceptical about going to someone who was after all a bad see it. You see, the views of those and dangerous man. This is easily wonderful people at Cannes don't forgivable though, as the dark usually agree with mine. This time, scenes are suitably dark and the however, I was pleasantly sur- comedy suitably funny. The odd prised... loose end here and there doesn't The General was produced for detract from the film either. an absurdly small budget (even by Strong performances by British standards), secured almost Gleeson and Jon Voight, as the entirely on the basis of Boorman's Garda Inspector always one step reputation, and is shot entirely in behind Carhill, along with great black and white. In a not wholly support in the form of Carhill's unoriginal format, the film begins (rather intriguing) family and gang, with the final scene and then retro- keep the audience engrossed. spectively chronicles the life and Great cinematography just puts the works of the infamous Irish criminal icing on what is already an Martin Carhill, aka. The General. admirable cake. Played by Brendan Gleeson, My only advice to anyone going Carhill's story begins with his child- The Irish - a very peaceful people. No, honestly. to see this film (and I recommend hood on one of the poorest estates that you do) would be not to in Dublin, where he spends his days unfolds, appears undeserved. ity. Indeed, at times his whole life expect a big climax. This is after all stealing food and escaping the Irish Endless conflicts with the appears to be a non-stop battle to a true story - the life of a man who, police (the Garda). Coupled with Garda, time in a Catholic borstal insult, harass and embarrass the as a criminal (albeit a legendary the nostalgic black &. white filming, with the inevitable molestation, Garda. one), had too much faith that he this generates a sympathy for the and then time in jail fuel Carhill's It is here that the only fault with would never be caught. D character which, as the story growing animosity towards author- the film appears. It combines a Reuben

AFTERGLOW Starring: Julie Christie, Nick Nolte, Jonny Lee Miller, Lara Flynn Boyle Director: Alan Rudolph

epair men eh? When they're painful episode on which she is R not charging you a-hundred- dwelling. and-fifty quid to replace a The film goes on to relate the washer on a bank holiday, they conflicting and often ill-defined enjoy nothing more than seducing desires of the principle characters. lonely housewives with the subtle Unfortunately, Afterglow frequently combination of a cocky grin and a ends up as confused as they are. little plumbing related innuendo - Chrisite's self-absorbed melancholy or so we have been led to believe becomes too irritating before we by thirty years of British situation learn of it's cause, and Miller's comedy. However, on the evidence executive boredom is exceptionally of Afterglow things aren't so differ- grating. His assertions that he is ent in Montreal. only 'excited by the impossible' Nick Nolte plays Lucky Mann, a merely succeed in making him repair contractor whose easy going sound even more juvenile. In fact, charm presents him with ample the characters are so unsympathet- opportunity to break his wedding ic that any interest in them dwin- vows. His improprieties become woeful situation. Four cliched characters lan- dles to mild curiosity pretty rapidly. understandable when we are intro- Conversely, Jonny Lee Miller guishing in two dysfunctional mar- Perhaps the only saving grace duced to his wife Phyllis, played by has all the outward trappings of riages isn't the most lively of open- is Nick Nolte's assured perfor- Julie Christie. She is a former B- success - a salary large enough to ings, and the entirely expected mance. His portrayal of Lucky, movie actress who spends her time live in a ridiculously flash apart- affair of Nolte and the attention being forced to question his easy reminiscing about her past with the ment, and to keep his beautiful starved Boyle lends little freshness going outlook is far more convinc- aid of tapes of her old films and the wife, Lara Flynn Boyle, in all the to the proceedings. An unlikely ing than Julie Christie's overacting. odd gin. designer frocks her heart desires. symmetry is completed when the Afterglow is an unusual film, but its Despite Nolte's good However, Miller is too wound up in pursuit of the unfaithful pair brings purported insights into human humoured attempts to heal the himself to spare any time for his Miller and Chrisstie together. nature are far too vague to consti- obvious rift in their marriage, Phyllis slightly neurotic wife who has little Captivated by the older woman, tute anything other than hollow seems to derive some sort of chance of fulfiling her wish to have Miller offers her an indulgent ear, pretension. D masochistic pleasure from her a baby. and eventually we learn of the Simon 5 June 1998 FILM 15 REVIEWS AND COMPETITIONS THE REPLACEMENT KILLERS STAR PROFILE: Starring: Chow Yuri-Fat, Mira Sorvino, Michael Rooker Director: Antoine Fuqua k'k k CHOW YUN-FAT hose of us in the Chinese d'-. : T community will know Chow how Yun-Fat is one of the Yun-Fat as the square jawed biggest film stars on the Hard Boiled, The Killer C man from planet - yet unless you're a and Cod of Gamblers to name just fan of the kind of destruction fest a few. This man is a household that is the hallmark of Hong Kong name all over South East Asia and cinema, you probably haven't like Bruce and Jackie before him, heard of him. Chow Yun-Fat is making that This week, however, he aims important leap into Hollywood. to change all that, by emulating The Replacement Killers is an Jackie Chan and hitting the action thriller with a simple plot, Hollywood big time. Quite why is but spiced up with high action. anyone's guess, but the promise Chow Yun-Fat (keeping dialogue to Chow Yun-Fat: Cool or what? of mega pay days presumably has a minimum in his first English lan- something to do with it. In his own guage role) is an assassin who army of men to tie up loose ends. style and flair that Hard Boiled and words "in Hong Kong the stunt is finally takes heed of his conscience Above the guns and explosions more recently Face/Off have estab- very expensive and the star is very when powerful underworld figure there are some good scenes, with lished, is way off. Towards the end cheap" Mr Wei requests Yun-Fat to be an director Fuqua, whose previous of the film, The Replacement Killers His fame owes a lot to a long instrument of vengeance. Realising experience lies in directing music lacks suspense in its action scenes term collaboration with God-like that his defiance is worse than videos, has added an MTV flavour and relies on cat and mouse director John Woo, with whom he smoking fifty a day, Chow Yun-Fat to the action sequences, using a sequences and heavy pyrotechnics has made international hits such plans to return to China. car wash and a dance floor in key to mask over an implausible con- as Hard Target, The Killer and the Now requiring a passport, he moments. clusion. A Better Tomorrow trilogy, and meets up with master document This Hollywood production The Replacement Killers is like perfected his trademark "tooth- forger Mira Sorvino (surprisingly tries desperately to have the same making popcorn - heat in a well pick chewing". However, even plausible portraying a tough cook- essence as Hong Kong action films. oiled pan, add the kernels and then with such a high profile collabora- ie), and the whole film then goes However its attempt to emulate watch them explode. Dl tor he has yet to make a real break ballistic as Mr Wei sends a small John Woo's uniqueness, the sheer Magpie in the English language market, with his fan base primarily concen- trated in South East Asia. Hopefully, this week's release Tickets prizes galore courtesy of of The Replacement Killers will change all that, showing Hollywood how to make action films properly - ridiculous body- count, idiotic cops, ultra violence, hideously scarred villains, and, most importantly, bucket loads of style.

Principle Filmography: The Replacement Killers (1998) Peace Hotel, The (1995) KENSINGTON God of Gamblers' Return (1994) Treasure Hunt (1994) his week, five pairs of tickets any other email address will not be All for the Winner (1992) T for US smash hit The accepted. Hard-Boiled (1992) Wedding Singer are up for Full Contact (1992) grabs. Starring Adam Sandler and The answers to last week's Prison on Fire II (1991) Drew Barrymore, it's a trip through poser was: Renne Zellweger (Liar), Black Vengeance (1990) the early eighties, complete with I Maxwell Caulfield (The Real Once a Thief (1990) bandanas, mullets, and non stop Blonde), Liv Tyler (That Thing You The Killer (1989) new romantics soundtrack. Get Do) and Robin Tunney (The Craft) God of Gamblers (1989) ready to relieve styles which I'm all starred in Empire Records. Triads: The Inside Story (1989) sure ew all want to forget. The first five correct entries out Code of Honour (1989) So, without more ado here's of my hat were: A Better Tomorrow 111 (1989) this week's fiendishly hard ques- Fractured Follies (1988) tion: Arosha Bandara Chasing Girls (1987) Edwin Chang Prison on Fire (1987) Which film links the stars of Adam Bettinson Dragon and Tiger Fight (1987) Good Will Hunting, Sphere, (.A. De Los Rios Medina City on Fire (1987) Michael Collins and Nixon? Ben Hedley A Better Tomorrow II (1987) Dream Lovers (1986) To enter simply email your Please drop into the Felix office Better Tomorrow, A (1986) answer to [email protected] (in the NW corner of Beit Quad) to The Seventh Curse (1986) before Monday evening. Entries to pick up your prizes. The Phantom Bride (1985) 16 ARTS 5 June 1998

HELD IN SUSPENSE

A CHORUS OF DISAPPROVAL THE POWER OF POSTER Alan Ayckbourn V&A

t's that time of year again. As mail on the side, the seemingly ine- he Power of Poster exhibition progress and man's preoccupa- I Spring slowly grinds it's way into briated Rebecca Huntley-Pike and has been on for quite a while tions over these past 100 years: all Summer, and most people's the slightly bemused Guy, the new- T at the V&A. 1 visited it about the big themes are present. heads are full of differential equa- comer whose presence seems to five weeks ago for the first time One then moves on to the tions, nematodes and quantum jar all the protagonists into action, and liked it so much that I went proper commercial side of posters: mechanics, the motley crew that is almost without his knowledge or again last weekend. It is really adverts for ptoducts like Guinness, DramSoc take it upon themselves consent. Messageless, this play superb. Bisto and Bovril and a few works by to relieve of us our misery, if only takes stock characters that we will The exhibition is divided up into Mucha the Czech artist.The last for a few hours, by performing a all instantly recognise, places them different themes. First one strolls room hosts a few more recent beautifully acted and wonderfully into a situation where their behav- through the theatre posters with posters including the hilarious set play. This year, they've chosen iour becomes inevitable, and sits some of Toulouse-Lautrec's Smirnoff ones and the controver- an excellent play, A Chorus of back and watches them work. The designs for Paris at the beginning sial Benetton advertisements. Disapproval, an eighties Alan play seems effortlessly written, the of the century. There are also some This exhibition shows lots of Ayckbourn, about the trials and tor- characters exist, they do not appear gorgeous Japanese pieces. The different functions posters have ments of an amateur operatic soci- to be the product of someone's next room has lots of music related had over the years. In a way it is a ety. It is eye-wateringly funny and imagination. This is a play almost posters and covers ranging from brilliant picture of our times and incredibly moving when read as tailor-made for a student company, Herb Ritts's photo of Madonna for says a lot about our fears, our ideas text, and with the support of a and as such cannot go wrong. The True Blue to David Hockney's beau- and our dreams. It wouldn't be sur- powerful cast, should spring into writing is faultless and as the major- tiful poster for Parade, an opera- prising if these posters have influ- life and become a masterpiece. ity of the characters are typecast, it ballet in New York, The film section enced History. They certainly help should be execellent. The plot centres around a pro- shows again a lot of diversity: to shape our everyday tastes, what duction of the Beggars Opera by Do go and see this, it will cheer Chaplin's early films stand next to we buy, what is cool, .where we John Gay, and features such mem- you up if you've had a bad exam, the poster of The Bodyguard. One go, perhaps even who we talk orable characters as Dafydd, the and will relax you after all the stress then moves onto the more political to...These things do have incredi- Welsh producer, Hannah, his long- of this term. As John Gay wrote in side of posters. Propaganda is the ble power as the name of the exhi- suffering wife, Linda, the petulant the final song of the operetta, "The key word; pro-army (mainly the bition suggests. The key to it is the adolescent, Ian and Fay Hubbard, Wretch of To-day, will be Happy US), anti-war, Mai 68 in France, poster the V&A have designed for the swinging couple into wife- To-morrow". Russia.... its promotion. I had a great time swapping parties and a little black- Julia In this section there are some walking through it and enjoyed it amazing works: Keith Haring's immensely the second time round painting for a apartheid free South too. I definitely recommend it. An Arts Editor Writes.... Africa, Saatchi and Saatchi's preg- D. nant man promoting contracep- Despite this college being at the been good, those who exhibited tion, the posters about women's forefront of scientific, medical and Office Party, a series of paintings, right of vote. This is particularly fas- technological research, people drawings and sculpture, which I cinating since it is the illustration of here are woefully narrow-minded found extremely enjoyable. when it comes to the more avant- Perhaps Mr. Baker missed that garde forms of art. Certain people one. CORNELIA PARKER have eloquently criticised the exhi- To write "I never thought I bitions in the Ante Room Gallery, would have a good word for the The Serpentine Gallery in particular the 22 club over Ante Room exhibitions," indicates Christmas, and some people are an astonishing level of arrogance the dedication it shows is quite unaware of the presence of such a and narrow-mindedness. Admit- breathtaking. Everything seems to gallery in college at all. Yet despite tedly, some of the work has not suggest that if you had been here this, despite the apathy towards been good, some of it has been yesterday, you would have seen art, I never expected such a con- truly dreadful, not "the work of an the bullet go through the dress, servative attitude from some of educationally subnormal gorilla", seen the lion savage the bowl, seen the most forward thinking people I but not great art either. The "paint- the wholeness that has been know. ings [of] obvious form and artistic replaced by the incompleteness. When the last exhibition insight" so praised by Mr. Baker She presents us with a fait accom- appeared, I popped in to see it, were soulless, sterile, puerile and pli, and we must fill in the deed and was struck by the soullessness banal. They gave nothing even to with our imaginations. My favourite and the sterility of the paintings. the casual viewer, and would not his is the first major retro- exhibit were the figures made from They were extremely well-execut- have stood up to intense scrutiny. spective of Cornelia Parker's coins run over by a train, hung from To be a good draftsman does not T the ceiling in the shapes of people, ed, but surely to be a successful career. As one of Britain's artist, you need to express some- make you a good artist. To be able best contemporary artists, alj her moving slightly in the breeze, as if thing of yourself in your work; it to reproduce a tree or a vase or a exhibits have a feeling of matter they were breathing. This is a seems pointless otherwise. People scene with a hill and a cow does held in suspense. So, for example, remarkable exhibition, and will don't become artists because they not indicate talent or innovation. she has a large work consisting of make you think deeply about the feel like it, they have to do it, their Mr Baker is entitled to his own silverware, run over by a steam- way we view objects. It is worth work is their driving force and opinion, of course, but I personal- roller and suspended a foot from seeing, it's free, it's up the road and good painters express this beauti- ly would rather see an exhibition the ground, entitled thirty pieces of it's very, very good. What more can fully. The list of genuine, spiritual which showed even a hint of silver. This might not sound that you ask for? insight than that sort of tacky painters is endless. Even some of impressive, but it is. The work that Julia the artists in our own gallery have greetings card art. has gone into producing this piece, ORLD WEDS JUNE WTH 4PM : SCOTLAND V BRAZIL }:"' ii:-- 8PM : MOROCCO U NORWAY THURS JUNE 11TH 4PM : ITALY V CHILE SPM : CAMEROON U AUSTRIA FRI JUNE 12TH 1PM : PARAGUAY U BULGARIA

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LEAVES UNDER ICE NOT OVERLOOKED AS YOU LIKE IT Paul Kenny, Purdy Hicks Gallery Shakespeare's Globe Theatre

t's the ice from our bird bath in ;V:io I^er-j.rri^'sy^itifireat''. b% hew v-je t was an interesting experience from the direction of the stage. the winter", the artist explained jit;rfi- ,«',''.,'! apparent in to see As You Like It being done The Globe runs the risk of I to me at the private viewing on the rv-...: "'ii 'i.- :: sug- I at The Globe Theatre. It is a becoming a tourist attraction rather 21st May. "I found it defrosting in gests that the picture sho1|pl|H venue which allows for rather more than a serious theatre space if peo- the kitchen sink when I got home trunks of 'silver!; birch trees, as audience involvement than most ple go there for the sake of the and I liked the look of it." 1 looked indeed one would think on first theatres. It was rather unfortunate going to The Globe instead of going more closely at the Bird Water sight; The "trunks", however, are therefore that I never quite there to see plays. I was therefore series. "I put a square of glass on actually icicles oh a clump of rush* engaged with the characters and delighted that this production was the middle of it for the second one es. The artist cleverly manipulates did not feel the need to shout of such high quality. The humour of and took it off again for the third. the concept of scale to great abuse/encouragement at them. the piece was really brought out The ice was melting under the «ff#||;/;;:;;;'- There was, nonetheless, some and depth and subtlety were lights and you can see the leaf Overall, it is Paul Kenny's great audience participation but it felt apparent in many of the characters, frozen into it." appreciation of fine, detail and tex- rather fake. I felt I knew what they were think- This is Paul Kenny's debut exhi- ture which makes his v ork so Being a 'groundling' has its dan- ing all the time - even when they bition in London and runs until appealing. The subject matte gers (and not only severe backache said nothing. 20th June. The artist's subjects are something we have all seen, and from standing up for three hours), The only problem I really had leaves, rocks and ice in this collec- most of us wouldn't really think of there was fighting in and through with the play was the ending, tion of chloro-bromide prints. The examining in any detail; the artist's the audience as well as various which is very hurried and contrived, >rity of the pieces show leaves work demonstrates how much MR actors making entrances through but it didn't really matter. Mind '\ in natural surroundings and in ural beauty goes unnotice I and the pit - in one case sending an you, I could have done without the the artist's studio. The vein struc- unappreciated. elderly member of the audience fly- seventy year old God of Marriage ture is > tptured and reproduced in ing backwards into the crowd. In coming on at the end in just a < .Jisite detail, showing the great the Sixteenth Century the beard, antlers and a pair of birds beauty and complexity of nature. Purdy Hicks Gallery, 65 Hopton groundlings were liable throw rot- nest pants! j , be ' i. Street, SE-i ten fruit at the actors; modern Tom Dane loaves and used lighting to create audiences tend to be slightly more an intriguing chequerboard effect 20! '1 >'' 1 i Kenny restrained, though they may have : - ; -h: pieces. to duck flying vegetation coming

ITS COMING HOME, ITS COMING HOME... GAMING NEWS

EA SPORTS : WORLD CUP '98 Playstation Controller news. Fed up with your standard pad? Electronic Arts - PC / Playstation / N64 Already bought the analogue and game specialised pads? Well per- Hurrah, the World Cup is about to haps the "Glove" is for you. For just interrupt what would be otherwise less than £50 it can give the user an appallingly empty summer. the refined look of a total idiot and Luckily for all you sofa football fans possibly an advanced case of there are several new footie games repetitive strain injury. The glove to play before, in the gaps between also provides a crucial advantage in and after the games. competition as human opponents The youngster 3-Lions shows are unable to concentrate and its lack of experience at this level instead are mesmerised, watching and is dropped from the team, your hands wobble in apparently luckily the two older team-mem- random directions. bers International Superstar Soccer Apparently the glove is able to and FIFA '98 have been kitted out operate in three different modes; for another competition. The ISS as the standard digital pad, as an release has yet to make it out for analogue pad or in simulated ana- sSHMBgBMawiteasBWMMBMijBiBriRi training but FIFA World Cup '98 is -Was*- lgfr logue mode to give your digital out on the pitch warming up. The responses a winning edge. Using PC version demonstrated on a top the glove is actually easier than Pentium 2 system with a Diamond football soundscape as found on As football games go it is the expected. Flexing the wrist controls Monster II card stormed out like a TV is all there, from crowd roar to best yet, not quite the "pissing into the directions, while the buttons world cup winner. The graphics commentary from such experts as the eyes' of the opposition" that are on the tips of your fingers. were superb, most of the England Des Lynham and Chris Waddle PC Zone said it would be, but a There is as you would expect a crew actually looked like their (obviously for penalties). As for the step above the previous titles. slight weirdness with this but the namesakes, and tjie rather fluid gameplay, well should you grow Would I buy it? Possibly not, I'd designer says that it soon becomes motion capture system has been bored of England winning the final wait to see if the Konami ISS game almost pleasurable. Hmm one for designed to mimic specific moves for the twentieth time there is was better and without a decent the Lara Croft crowd then. for certain players - though my always the option of playing as an 3d card I wouldn't risk it. complete lack of knowledge of the historical team such as the England Gary Smith For more news, see: Brazilian team did prevent me 1966 team, Brazil 1970 or www.su.icac.uk/Felix checking this out. The expected Germany 1990's teams. 5 June 1998 CAPITAL

DIVERSIONS FOR THE NEXT SEVEN DAYS

ICU AGM no. 2 Vend' '! imbesi -a' i Midget The Wedding .Singer Lucian Freud: New 11 , Oi) i as .,

1 12:30 in dB's. Go therel i 0 u". .11 0 I'H + Snug : i .'Ii . the decade Paintings I nd ...., I, en -

LA2, 7pm, £7. See music wdeieslyie

Xena: Warrior Princess '.'1 i , , . I '.nan The Replacement Killers ,. ig 4, dt i .a Strawberry Sundae @ -'... -i an - 8i jgg - Chow Yun Fat gives t'/hirrts probably ri ic Cloud 9, 67-68 Albert chance to see Lucy + The Cons, + -The Hollywood a lesson in ii ;< >' i.. ei. ,j e . Embankment. Lawless in bondage gear, B oti ; I - atii s . ''it' d how to administer a thor woiid 2 Air Conditioned Rooms with a big sword, mmm. O noi iofin ough kicking Royal Festival Hail, South Playing Upfront House iVtarfyn + e + + +. Bank: J ' el « -..n. '... Music, featuring Pete Dune 9pm C4. David rieebne/ Park, i Cam Virgin Chelsea i ni. fde i , Haslem, Jay Kings, Luis Lynch's mad interpreta II pm. L,iS. . 12.45, 3.15, 5.45, 8.30 Anish Kapoor Paris and new resident tion of Frank Herbert's UCI Whiteleys Hayes lai .alii ry » it Slipmatt egually loopy grandiose 4.55, 7.15, 9.45 sioot, ' ' 50 I0pm-7am. £8 NUS/£10 Sci-Fi novel. Virgin Trocodero Info: 0171 735 5590 2.10, 4.20, 6.30, 9.00

Fl < Madness 4- Finley Quaye Cornelia Parker I e die L(ve';s:?OptTi':'r(v..yes, + Space + Catatonia + + A retrospective of her nfceUI I, I'll i 'I I,.;.

'trwe ,.!'(? sports otdei' Madstock IV at Finsbury work, with her objects Garage Room :.pj li'.SliS fOOtdaiS Park. 11 am - I Ipm, £25 limbo, in a dreamlike .. n ; e II Srep.e ' ' d i Transglobal Underground state. The Serpentine ,5vey D. rsanRy.Fi'isrer, Animals..'?:! 0B88C!. '. Forum £7, 7pm Gallery, Kensington Iteirenlsce k'oosn. Barry

'i 11 n lis it Massive Attack Gardens, SW7, free, ver ;.s ,,.,ei 11

i Ibyton '* i r 11 11 > i Royal Albert Hall, 7.30pm, close, go in your lunch- tsoesis.

iNIt?:..* ,!tMt 'IC-i: I fit" dcirVifilex £12.504- break ''!«' .,"i ' A I.,I, el tint engaging-'icidl stfits Hue and Cry 272 41 Be ' . Jazz Cafe, £15, 7pm

Paul Goodfellow remote- Stressed Eric 10pm, BBC2. Deep Impact i. IJX'.'.h, ,uo The Box @ The Clinic. Last in series of this excel - Effects laden Even engineers will enjoy Gerard Street, China Inhere ! otani .-id ,ui lent cartoon. Regrettably impending disaster flick. ti i' vv.Lty play ol. trie Town. Drum 'n' Bass from w.ihk .»it is inspired, End probably won't shoot Morgan Freeman stars a- - *.i .,... i i op. Ray Keith, Junior Buzz, til.""flip ,ind - ihrrad, his au pair, as I would end tv" s,l i in '. Mr. T &.Paul Ibiza I' i>; '"i V/.iir. ' ifii.-n have by now... UCI Empire 11 if. ..!< t theatre at 7pm-2am. £3 all night, l arC'l a iltir , it *. Hit !» ri i Secret History: Dad's 3.00, 6.00, 9.00 i.e. e iLn. ,i £2 NUS / early arrivals td,Ok ft'', pie It '.\t;r - Army 9pm, C4. Why the Virgin Fulham Road South Bank. St: i 'lobe. Broadcast Live on the Net ii,< .,'1 v!i it-let f'ilr .i ii' real Home Guard weren't 12.30, 3.25, 6.10, 8 55 Waterlon,''i'l7, £12 on http;//interface.pirate- guite so amusing as the o vn 'Hi .1 up A c: Odeon Marble Arch radio.co. TV comedy show. , BOOR'S Gallery:; 12.10, 3.05, 5.55, 8 50

STA BAR TRIVIA i'O BBpie. Red Comer Much Ado About More guestions and 'f 'I. i 'i ii.n; . i'" .-': (s.eie starrer, Nothing die .j a-.;., t ho

answers to help you win and exiietr.eiy bizarre e-iiii.iliseei A lour dse Cheek by Jowl's critical I J' 7e.B HI £50 cash or a crate of : 'i. Watch anci, i , . . ssiirasse justice system: acclaimed production c Big BcvB's vvil.h Resident beer. Starts 8pm ,,,.', lO'l ' i...„ l|d OP. Shakespeare's tale of tv "... Bares I Anciy i... rosy * / v .' up I 'i lid! PBKi reluctant lovers. Moms ''i in... -t n oi e 10. 550 150 Playhouse Theatre, All Drinks 12 I Opr^d^ayiy: fiiiiidie! anitskinnc-r"'. vi qi i1 uiham Road Northumberland Aveni I-,I '-,,!, .i ; comic lake on ihe World ,el'0, 5 20. 3 30' WC2 Tube: Embankmc 497 3 i Ad . ' A Cup 'irgii i Trocodero /Charing Cross, £10-22 s 70, , "i, 8.50 '

lA-nF! i.>:::.;;;'.;.-V PAM: , The Human Body Dark City As You Like It Swerve @ Velvet Rooms

BOOM OLY 10.20pm, BBC1. Bound - Dark, grizzly, gothic I S i i. ''I , it'1 Charring Cross Rd. WC2

A'i'ffla'tChOS'il'l BaVlfifliv to be lots of shots of sci-fi, from the maket of .1 'OI ' I . Upfront D&B, Resident

.and'/tor DbA-.Scotland:v knobs and tits as this The Crow. . llC M>.-, ,i I 'I,. I, .I,"' Fabio Baxil - A pfft 'Morocco v episode is all about speech (Trie Seven Ages I0pm-2.30am. £6/NUS Noway .-.'Spm,'-' : Puberty. Compulsive Warner West End of Man by Jacques! £4 Info: 0171 734 4687 viewing for those who 2 20, 4 40, 7 00, 9.20 i. 41 ,« i' ,. i. : /1 A Chorus of Disapproval , like Biology textbooks. UCI Whiteleys Jl „o, ' d,V . brSmsod'S'.West effort Fantasy World Cup Live 4 30, 7 00, 9 30 Soufhsverk, St'I, Tube: starts tonight in .the'-' 10.40pm, ITV. Baddiel Odeon Marble Arch tonaen Sridtie/Biackftiae

ConCidtsBlail. 17/55 and Skinner. Again. 2.10, 4.40, 7 10, 9.40 : 1 j Is

WCMD CUP STANDING Al.rrlp known The General Love's Fire Mother Brown ;w The. ROOM ONLY . . i' ci. ' r>>' t'or.tf Arty, Cannes vvriner. Shakespeare's sonnets it .» >' ,1 Bind Paraguay v Bulgaria - i i II , > shot m te i i & 'white given a brash overhau .. i.I.'1 Biggest Break 1 pm. Italy v Chile - 4pm r..: , 11 i.. ill,.,. i,i „:i nut actually quite good Americans Sounds .si „" i :.. Cameroon v Austria - ail available IV channels bizarre but interesting '- ,1, -,, US, 8pm Plus DA VINCI'S : ©;ffi|l!lfi|M;!8l|r; jilii 1 : Is: irgin Haymartcet Damn this college for jai'i.iAi/eaaet.ii. COCKTAIL NIGHT Shame, really. 2 IS, ' B, 8,30 making me do exams UiiJi i- . i I \ Fantasy Wood Cup Live -In in . nil am Road and preventing me frc Booms, ii ," ': THE ELECTRIC CAFE 10 40pm, ITV. B . „,V I , isi -or. going to the theatre Bouncy teenno > Tee! i - The Back Room. and skinner continue ad BO Wfitteleys BarPican Centre, Silk S lisiusc"! . : -si doss eti. Southside Disco 7-1 Ipm. .'l,;l/',!.'. II n i-05 . 0 EC2, Tube: Barbican, £ B'Sp.m .ABOai i.'s ltd VNUS Ftec. 54. info. 0! 7"! 724.4637 SPORT 5 June 1998

ACROSS DOWN

4 Help reduced in confusion over When in trouble, a true chap disease, but with rosy ending uses canopy (9) (7) 2 In library 1 do hide energy! (6) 8 Invalid, yet calm? (7) 3 A French no-one (4) 9 Drunk at new weds' gig (7) 4 Trip could bring CID's icy glare, 10 Tiger in trouble loses right to perhaps (8, 4) burn (6) 5 Bins policy in trouble with drug 12 Blackbird found in English river (10) with legs first? (5) 6 Calor gas man hides then 13 Beating half of them while comes (6) thieving? (9) 7 Starting yesterday, mannequin 16 Scan hut, perhaps, and discov- reduced to song (5) er firm (7) 11 Emerald spirit? (5, 7) 17 Abandon perspective for 3D 14 Zebedee loses 'e, right, with inn designers? (7) tidying up at speed (10) 19 Area of London made com- 15 Sour tunes can be tough (9) monplace by Ed (9) 18 Sounds like line with delay - 21 Form fungi (5) what a state! (6) 22 Unhappy and shaken Del arose 20 Woman left in New York regu- from seat (6) larly (6) 24 Fed up with ocean? (7) 21 Museum half With this college 25 Unstable Pap to praise and make entertainment (5) congratulate (7) 23 Sip nasty after penny slopes (4) 26 If edible, use this to sort of try clue (7)

Angry Fists Korfball (?) Cricket

It was some time on a Sunday They knew exactly what lay ahead won, the IC boys began to show morning that I didn't know even IC 1st were playing in the semi- of them as they set out early last that it wasn't just big IQ's that they existed and the UL Korfball team final. As we massed in the union Sunday morning. The three; Mike were packing. Having sorted out were heading out to Cambridge the signs were grim. For a start Corrigan (ME4), and Paul Watson the animate objects, now the only in search of success and fortune. there were three second teamers. (CE4) together with Nick "Kick-ass challenge left to the team was the But what is korfball You must be However, it was a talented bunch from Hellas" Kassapakis (Phys breaking. wondering [Not really - Jacob]. that arrived at Harlington, after we PhD), having trained for 4 years All three smashed their way It's a Dutch game similar to bas- had disposed of their firsts in the with the IC Kung through eight roof ket ball and net ball in that you previous years semi-final. Fu club, were tiles with only just have to get a ball into a basket The batting started solidly with going for black enough time to more times than the opposition jon scoring about as frequently as belt. apply the Deep but that is where the similarities his football namesakes and Imran After a fine Freeze before end. For a start, it is played by Khan playing nowhere near as well display of forms having to chop mixed teams. The baskets are as his. We then attempted England (fixed move- clean through a moved towards the centre of (cricket) style suicide as we lost ments), the defenceless each half so that when you miss a seven wickets for about fifty runs action began to house-brick. Now shot, play continues. This hap- before Graham rescued the team heat up as the the only thing that pens very frequently as the bas- with a sparkling 42 not out. Our free sparring got stood between kets are higher than in either of final score of 158 - 8 looked underway. The 2- Another batch of perfectly good the boys and the other two games. respectable but the gold was yet to v-1 bouts were roofing tiles is dispatched it the their black belts Before we knew what was come. fierce with Mike name of sport. was two inches happening, we were in to the final Raj started with a superb over moving so fast of wood, but not against our old rivals Cambridge into the wind. Mardar took two around his two for long as the University. The game went into wickets in his spell, delivering the opponents that he left a trail of explosive power rocketed from the extra time. After two minutes we ball like a tracer bullet, not bad for flames burning in the ring and Paul feet of the IC masters, initiating had managed to creep into the a guy with a girls' name. Archi and taking a bit of a bruising from two fast fracture in the organic com- lead 3-4, winning the club's third jon took most of the remaining trained thugs. Next came the group posite. piece of silverware in 18 years. wickets and IC Ists are into the sparring with opposition from Wu Shu Kwan runs regular Anybody interested in taking final to defend the title we won last Manchester and Wales. This event classes in Southside Gym on up korfball, contact the club pres- year. saw Paul trying his best not to acci- Saturdays and the Union Gym on ident, Marcus The final is Wednesday after- dentally knock, people out with his Sundays, beginning at 4.30pm. ([email protected]) or see our noon and the coach leaves at lethal turning kick (unsuccessfully). Beginners are welcome at any time web page at: 12.30pm from the Union. All sup- As bout after bout was fought and and the first lesson is free! www.ucl.ac.uk/~dmcbrit/ULKC/. porters are very welcome. It will be a great day out.