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Issue 928 - Weekly Election Special Issue mark 2 Thursday 12th February 1998 VC tops the league with 27% pay rise

Last week, the 1998-99 salaries for UK vice-Chancellors were published. The average rate of increase over the previous year was 5.8%, compared with an increase for lecturers of just 2.9%. The award for the highest rate of increase went to our own VC, Professor Patrick Dowling. But he’s still only the 33rd best paid VC in the UK....

the VC’s top-up at first, but What could Paddy buy with that Andy Gale after they had had time to think, extra 27%? a spokesman said that n One year’s UK tuition fees hilst lecturers across “Professor Dowling’s present (1999) for twenty-five students the country are feel- salary is directly comparable Wing the pinch, vice with those of the Vice- n 17,857 Beef & Horseradish chancellors have been awarded Chancellors of equivalent sandwiches from the Library massive pay rises. The largest Universities.” Restaurant rise of 1996-97 went to Surrey’s Vice Chancellor Professor Patrick Dowling Photo: University Press Office n 20-odd new computers to vice chancellor, Patrick Despite climbing the ladder Dowling, who saw his pay help the Student Advice Service Frost changes his plea: Bristol rapidly, professor Dowling administrate the counselling of packet grow from £91,000 to remains a relative pauper when £116,000, an increase of 27%. students in debt (well, one new compared to George Bain, then computer would be a start....) court finds him guilty of murder head of the London Business n This figure contrasts sharply School, who topped the list with 44 days, 12 hours listening to ollowing Monday’s dramatic mur- peared after a with the 2.9% average pay a package worth £150,000. the ‘Saucy Suzy’ phoneline der conviction of Surrey Civil Christmas eve party in increase given to UK lecturers (off-peak) FEngineering student David Frost, it 1995. Her body was last year. ‘We are outraged at emerged that he had spent the some time later found by school- increases which are so flagrant- months before his arrest living in a shared children, in the quarry ly ahead of increases ordinary student house in Guildford. A student who where Frost had staff have received over the last wished not to be named described him as dumped it. Until two years,’ said Tom Wilson, assistant general secretary of having appeared to be “an absolutely nor- Monday, Frost had Oops! mal, nice guy.” David Frost before maintained his inno- the Association of University Police tried contacting Frost via his house- Monday’s verdict cence. Teachers, ‘What’s good enough Owing to a production problem, a number of mates, before finally catching up with him A University Spokesman reacted to for them should be good enough in South Africa, where he was working on Monday’s events, saying “We are deeply for their staff’. errors crept into last week’s Election Special placement. Over 10,000 people had been saddened by this news. Our thoughts are supplement. See the centre supplement for the involved in police searches for missing with all those who have been touched by The University’s marketing corrected (and updated) version... Bristol teenager Louise Smith, who disap- this tragedy.” office seemed not to know of NEW HUSTINGS TIMES! - see election special

News 1 n Features 3 n Letters 4 n Music 6 n Entertainments Guide 7 . Cinema and Arts 8 n Union News 9 n Notices & Personals 9 n Sport 12 . ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:43 Page 2 (1,1)

2 News Thursday 12th February 1998 n News in Brief James Buller’s The Cambridge Split Random Breath Tests Coming Soon A row has blown up over the funding of a pro- former Soviet Union. However, this move into Home Secretary Jack Straw has hinted that responsibly and heeded the anti drink drive posed Margaret Thatcher Professorship of education has lead people to think that the police could have random breath testing pow- message, but there is still a hard-core who get Enterprise Studies. It had been proposed that chair could be thought of as a chair in ers by next year. “Discretionary targeting” caught up in the festivities and insist on dri- £2 million would be given by The Margaret Thatcherism. would allow officers to test any drivers, not ving. These people give no thought for the Thatcher Foundation to fund the course, but The former prime minister went to Oxford but just after accidents or crimes. consequences of their actions.” some of Cambridge University’s academic since she was rejected for an honorary degree The move comes after police revealed the Drink related road deaths now seem stuck at members claim that this would compromise she has promised her political papers to drink drive figures for last Christmas. Surrey 500 per year despite annual hard hitting cam- the university’s independence and expose it to Cambridge’s Churchill Archives. The general Police reported that 21 motorists were arrest- paigns. While further measures will soon claims of political bias. board of the university has yet to agree the £2 ed for driving under the influence, compared reduce the legal limit from 80 to 50mg the The Margaret Thatcher Foundation was set up million endowment, which is to be discussed to 11 in 96/97. only way to be really sure you are safe is of in 1991 to promote entrepreneurial skills, and by the academic staff this week. This follows A spokesperson said “the figures show that course not to drink and drive at all. the money comes from Thatcher’s personal the internal arguments over a £1.6million gift the vast majority of motorists have acted funds, her speaking fees and donations. This is from BAT Industries (formerly British the first move towards training for the founda- American Tobacco) to fund a chair in interna- Taxi drivers armour-plate their cabs tion, who have concentrated on supporting tional relations. business and legal training in Europe and the T Rocks Taxi drivers in Mexico, fearful of drug relat- machine gun fire and cost $600 each. Special ed violence are armour-plating their cars. The drawers still make the cabbies more than protective driver booths can stop automatic capable of accepting fares, however. SKILLS ELECTORAL No Escape From Milton Keynes DEVELOPMENT REGISTRATION The ultimate top security jail has been opened record includes: 20 assaults on warders and PROGRAMME in Milton Keynes to house the countries most 10 hostage takings (he even threatened to eat Check before it is too late! dangerous 50 prisoners. Nicknamed one). For all those worrying about CVs, placements and/or “Alcatraz” the prison will employ a strict Prisons boss Richard Tilt said the unit was future careers, there are 2 workshops taking place to The Register of Electors is pub- “last resort” regime aimed at rehabilitation. suppose to be “therapeutic not punitive,” help you out. lished on 16th February 1998. If Highly trained warders will have to cope with adding “There is a need to address the prob- you do not think that you have reg- convicts like Charles Bronson, who during lem of prisoners who are continually disrup- Tuesday 17 February (6pm-8.30pm), an Assertiveness istered to vote you can check at the his 25 year incarceration has committed more tive or provide a consistent danger to staff and workshop will take place in Committee Room Z (1st Council Offices, (Millmead, crimes than he ever did while free. His prison other inmates.” floor of Senate House). This workshop has a limit of 12 Guildford) or Public Library (North people. Street, Guildford) to see if your Pond To Remember Dambusters name is on the list. Wednesday 18 February (2pm - 4pm), a Leadership The huge ship testing tanks at Teddington, ry where inspired inventor Barnes Wallis per- workshop will take place in Committee Room Z. If you wish to cast your vote in your famous for being used to test the fected his creation are to be replaced by a home constituency, as there are no “Dambuster” “bouncing bombs” are being park and possibly a pond, though a plaque is These two workshops are free of charge and open to any planned Elections in Guildford, torn down. The small piece of military histo- though a more appropriate memorial. student. For more info and to book your place, contact you can apply to vote by post or Rodney Bates on ext: 3177 ([email protected]) or proxy. A standard postal/proxy come up to the Educational Liaison Centre, 5th Floor, vote form, know as RPF9a, is avail- Senate House. able from Council Office, University Notice

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n Thursday 12th February 1998 News 3 Unplugged steams on

atch out for Unplugged coming up on experimental edge they pull their songs through Tuesday of week 5 (17th February). The last extremes of emotion, at times almost breaking up, Wshowcase night before the talent contest heats returning with a force unleashed bringing the whole begin in week 7, featuring Quietly Torn - perfect for a show into a unique experience. mellow, relaxing evening. Quietly Torn is a new band borne out of a solo project The band made its debut appearance last summer at the from Porl Thompson using new material written after Womad and Guildford festivals and are now putting The poetry corner he left The Cure.The band line-up features Martin material together for their first album. Jackson (vocals), Porl Thompson (guitar), Tom The evening will start around 8:30 (for 9:00 pm) in the Rickman (double bass), and Nick McLeod (drums and Helyn Rose Bar. Still only £1 for entry, UnPlugged con- Exhibition: ‘My life as Happening News’ percussion). tinues to bring you the best in live entertainment. Using space and harmonics between them with an There was nobody but a self-guided tour No ‘Oil on the Panel’ or ‘Charcoal on the Paper’ But ‘Some Body Blood Dyed on No More Tears’ Bald Facts There was nothing true, the headline news After being read as incident but nobody really knew

that: Good For You!. The Christian Church links the 40 It’d have been come true, if for a young death’s sake days to the time of temptation of Jesus in the wilderness It was of all common human beings’ common fate Robin Harvey After her death, she died after feeling mad Anglican Chaplain nearly 2000 years ago. The joyful events of Easter then meant the fast could end and everyone would celebrate After deciding to be seen as happening news (rather like the end of Ramadan really). There was therefore an exhibition very new — ‘My Life as Happening News’ rom those inner recesses of the mind, do the (your must see — before last Christmas eve!) words “Pancakes”,“Shrove Tuesday”, “Ash Ash Wednesday, when ashes from last year’s palm Only a student stayed away, you’ll say Wednesday” and “Lent” ever come to the surface crosses are often used to mark the forehead, is the day F There could be something telling apart in a way around this time of year? And could this be a time when to make the pledge to be more disciplined. Sometimes If it’d have been seen as artwork, shaded in the respect a voice it is just as good to take on something worthwhile dur- in the head says “you must give something up”?. If so, ing Lent as to give something up (Community Action, There was an epitaph you must read, before you could really feel — help is at hand! your friendly Lent adviser is here with for example - another plug for Jo!). ‘There’s a new more soul lying on the mortal ironware, called railway some constructive suggestions. So if you are thinking of being seriously disciplined over Lent and want to get your resolution off to a good There’s a young name inscribing on the ivory headstone from Somerset There’s a life as artwork — happening but would never get old, or get Traditionally, the pancake noshing on Shrove Tuesday start, why not come along to our special United Ash black’ was designed to use up all the eggs and dairy products Wednesday Service in et Cathedral Lady Chapel on prior to a time of fasting (well at least cutting down a Wednesday 25th February at 5.30 PM? Everyone is bit) during the 40 days of Lent. Self discipline and all welcome. shih-Hung (Denis) Wu The Lost World in something far more sinister. After a series of events they become stranded when their equip- ment is lost. This is when the real melodious - Wednesdays, Wates House, 5pm terror begins as both groups scramble for their lives and you scramble for the edge of your seat. With Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough and Pete Postlethwaite. Showing at 5pm & 8pm Sunday 15th and at 8pm Monday 16th feb in LTG. The Arts Film showing at 8pm on Wednesday 18th feb is The Red Squirrel. From the reviews I’m not sure how much it has to do with the small, tree-climbing animal hen another island of dinosaurs is discovered with a bushy tail but it looks good all the same. (as you do), a team is assembled to visit the Wisland, see the sites, eat the local speciality Tickets must be reserved via the the OFU box in the dish and mingle with the inhabitants (at least from union post room and cost 2.00. Pick and Mix tickets are behind a dinosaur proof fence). However when they now available at the start of each film to those with a reach the island they discover another band of not so reserved ticket for the bargainous price of 5.00 for 4 merry men who are not interested in biological data but films Helen ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:43 Page 4 (1,1)

4 Letters/Editorial Thursday 12th February 1998 n Your Letters Hands off the BBC Women’s footie team gets cross

Letter of the week - Dear Editor, Thank you in anticipation of are always made by the week- 4 cinema tickets await author your co-operation ly editorial meeting, open to all, and made up entirely of Dear Editor, free! Without advertising, dents, and I believe some We are writing to voice our Eli Bowley & Bethan students. This is their newspa- licence fees provide the sort of discount should be dissatisfaction with the editing Thomas (Women’s Football per (see the top of page one). practices of OUR Bare Facts I am writing in response to a BBC with most of its made, but NOT a total Club) Some submissions, like the newspaper. letter by Bulent Yazici in income, and I believe that it exemption. cinema times, letters, lead The Women’s football club Bare Facts 927, about TV would be a very sad thing if Ed’s (long) note story, sports results table, per- it were forced into commer- I would like to adress have submitted several match licences. The women’s football team sonals, paid-for advertising or cialisation, which, as can be Bulents final comment.... “ reports and articles this acade- I do agree that £91.50 a year has only submitted two arti- the ents planner, cannot be put seen with most other chan- Before you know it, they mic year. Of these, very few is a lot of money for stu- cles for publication which off or ‘held over’ for a week, nels, would result in inferior will start charging us for have been published, and none dents, but I feel Bulent is have not appeared in Bare for obvious reasons. Pages programming. oxygen.” I think it is a very have been second team arti- going too far by saying that Facts this year. You might can only be added in multiples sad indicator of how much cles. We have raised this mat- TV licensing should be have noticed that last week’s of four (pull one out and you’ll Bulent asks why the television has infiltrated ter personally with the editor against the law. Bare Facts was an ‘election see), and by arrangement in University hasn’t done peoples lives that people on more than one occasion, special’ issue. This took the advance with the printer. That something about licence fees regard it as, as essential as and assumed that the matter The fact of the matter is that best part of four days to lay up leaves us without much flexi- yet. The reason is that there oxygen. I’m sure we CAN had been resolved. the BBC is one of the best (and still contained errors). A bility: huge gaps in a week is nothing the University can live without television. Last week, we submitted a broadcasting services in the whole range of perfectly with few submissions, and a do legally. TV licences are a match report on time, and on world. It provides us with decent submissions, including crisis for space in a busy fact of life that we must Tristan O’Dwyer disk, as requested by BF. The excellent programmes, a waterpolo report, a short week. accept. As I said before (1st year Physics) editor was overjoyed to which Bulent seems to piece submitted by the £91.50 is a lot of for stu- receive a sports article, and believe should be made for Christian Union, 25 person- You’re right to say how ‘over- assured us it would be pub- als, 2 notices, a feature on joyed’ we all are with new lished. It wasn’t. Yet again we some Russian students, the material, particularly when Hands off Hari’s bar staff have been let down by our plans for the new EIHMS things come in on disk. This newspaper. building, 2 poems, a job paper welcomes (and relies Dear Editor not delivered to its owner have belonged to you. We Although we write these arti- advert, a film review, a book on) all its submissions, from because they had decided to have the table system so cles partly for our own enjoy- review, a hiking club article, any student, on any subject. sit else where and expected mistakes like this don’t hap- ment, the main reason is to I am writing in response to half the news in brief, and the But there’s no getting around the bar staff to know this. pen. We don’t have photo- publicise our club and the the letter in last weeks Bare editorial, did not make the the problem that they just How long would it have graphic memories and can’t progress we have made this Facts stating that the Union paper. This has nothing at all don’t all fit, all the time. If we taken to simply walk up to possibly remember who season. bar staff are‘dense’. Well to do with dodgy ‘editing did operate some kind of shad- we may lack powers of the bar and tell the staff you ordered what especially dur- We would appreciate a full had moved? Surely when a ing a busy lunchtime. practice.’ owy policy of ‘editing out’ telepathy but we’re certainly explanation and apology print- your contributions because we member of staff walked over ed in BF, and of course for our not dense. The letter from Only very rarely is anything didn’t like them, then for a to the table you were sup- Sarah Gyles last report to be published this James Dowling highlighted controversial witheld or start, your letter wouldn’t be posed to be sat at with a Haris Bar staff week. the saga of a missing panni- amended, and such changes here! ni. The affending snack was homeless pannini you could and deputy Editor have mentioned that it might Queues are still too long Naked truth should be stripped Dear Editor, low. They should either stand Dear Editor, My particular gripe with the in with BriBaSpaC in their up and be counted or put up over-crowded shop situation campaign to throw the I am writing in order to state and shut up!! I believe in a is that during my lunch papers back where they I am writing in response to my concern over a potentially true democracy not rough jus- break, my solitary pleasure came from. Please – I need last week’s “lettre de damaging publication (if you tice which is exactly what this derived from watching more time!! semaine” regarding the can call it that) which I picked is! “Housewife Special No. 8” amount of time spent stand- up from my reception the is severely hampered by my Yours faithfully, ing in “One Stop”. I other day. The title named Stephen R Poole need to rush the job. Why Napolean’s Column applaud their strategy of “The Naked Truth” does noth- do One Stop, after selling making us wait so long by ing else but undermine the such fine videos, make us Ps When are they getting the their food refrigerator as authority of the Students queue for so long behind the first seven in? indeed it was I who ate all Union. With the changes newspaper and grocery buy- the pies. which have taken place in ers? I wholeheartedly join Name & URN supplied Higher Education, it is espe- cially important that the stu- The ‘leftists’ hit back dent body remains united. Dear Editor, Secondly, the author referred testing of nuclear weapons We have elections taking to the need for military inter- in the Pacific while the place shortly in which, hope- fully, students will exercise In response to Simon vention because “force British government has sold appears to be the only lan- over 800 million pounds their democratic right to vote. Ashall’s criticisms (BF let- The more people who vote, ters issue 927) of a previous guage that he [Saddam worth of weapons to the Hussein] understands”. oppressive regime in East the better. This will prove editorial concerning a the beyond all doubt that the situation in Iraq I would like However, Sir Peter de la Timor? Billiere (the commander of Student Officers are really to point out a number of accountable to us. Through inconsistencies in his argu- British forces during the Thus, it appears that the Gulf War) has pointed out threat of military action this, attending Student ments.Firstly, in regards to Council and putting sugges- the “need to see UN resolu- that a vast number of from Mr. Blair and Mr. weapons remain unaccount- Clinton is merely an attempt tion slips in the box in the tions enforced properly” Union foyer is the way to Simon Ashall chose to ed for and thus the only vic- to deflect attention away the tims will be innocent civil- crises that both leaders are influence what happens ignore Israel’s defiance of around here - Not to produce the UN resolution concern- ians. currently suffering from. Therefore I hope that in the something which is insulting ing the occupation of Golan to those who are just too busy Heights (a Syrian territory). In addition, if the U.S. and future Simon Ashall will not British governments are so be so easily swayed by the to reply. I wonderwhether Mr. Ashall Not putting their names on the considers that this could be concerned about the stock- paranoid propaganda of the piling of weapons why did tabloid media. bottom is sheer cowardice and due to the economic inter- proves that everyone behind ests that both Britain and neither condone sanctions against France following the Andy Deegan this rogue publication is spine- America have within Israel ? less and are the lowest of the ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:43 Page 5 (1,1)

n Thursday 12th February 1998 Features 5 The Return of Nazism

This feature, the first in a background of mounting violent and a copy of Hitler’s ‘Mein probably quite irregular attacks against Jews. Kampf’ in his office. series of features on a The rise in anti-Semitism comes at a There is also some evidence to sug- variety of topical issues, time when extreme nationalists and gest that the defence ministry know- examines the alarming neo-nazis are seeing considerable ingly gave money and army vehi- tide of Nazism sweeping success in initiating a growing feel- cles to Manfred Röder, a convicted across Europe. ing of hatred towards foreigners and neo-nazi terrorist, to help him in his Jews amongst the previously toler- activities. ant student scene in Germany. Andrew Goodacre The rest of Europe “At the same time, numerous intel- Features Editor lectual circles in the country are While this article has so far mainly turning increasingly to anti- focused on east Germany, it would Semitism, anti-Americanism and be wrong to pretend that these out- ver fifty years after the end revanchist nationalism” (Germany breaks of racist violence are restrict- of the Second World War Alert, 12.12.97) ed to just one country. Racism is a Oneo-nazism appears once disease, and while east Germany again to be a serious threat to appears the worst affected at the democracy and human rights. In No-go zones for foreigners moment, symptoms are also clearly east Germany, where the problem is visible across a much wider area. worst, racist violence had rapidly Bernd Wagner, an east Berlin crimi- increased. A sub-culture is develop- nologist and sociologist has identi- On 3 January this year for example, ing, glued together by extreme racist fied more than 25 towns and cities over 300 rioting youths were arrest- music and Internet sites containing with ‘liberated zones.’ All are in the ed in Sweden after a so-called fascist propaganda. Large areas of former East Germany which is the ‘White Power’ concert north of the east Germany are becoming virtual area worst affected by Germany’s Swedish capital, Stockholm. Also no-go areas for foreigners, homo- high unemployment, currently high- in Stockholm, last November, about sexuals, disabled people – anyone er than at any time since the Second 250 uniformed Nazis held a rally, who appears ‘Un-German.’ World War. which police had to allow to pro- ceed in the interests of public order. Rapid increase in number Foreigners avoid certain streets, Swedes were also shocked last year of violent attacks 1980s up Adolf Hitler - Soldiers still celebrate his birthday increase clubs and pubs. Those that venture by revelations that between 1936 on foreigners to nearly in racist into these ‘liberated zones’ get and 1976, many women deemed to 3,000 in 1992, when six people lost violence. When neo-nazi thugs attacked. It is only recently that be of ‘inferior’ ethnic groups were The most serious indications of this their lives as a result. kicked and stabbed to death a 17- such zones have been formerly forcibly sterilised. rise in violent right-wing extremism year boy in Magdeburg last year, the recognised. Whereas they were are in east Germany. Before the col- Cornelia Schmalz-Jacobsen, head of attack was not recorded as an once spread simply by word of Events not dissimilar to those in lapse of the Berlin Wall in 1989 and the German government’s office on extreme right-wing crime. mouth, many now have Internet Germany and Sweden have been the subsequent reunification, fas- sites advertising themselves with witnessed across Europe, in Rome, cism and racist violence had been foreigners’ issues, said at a news Germany’s government has been phrases like, “…microcosms of the Helsinki and Athens to mention but almost eradicated in West Germany. conference on 10 December 1997, somewhat hesitant in responding to community we all long for.” a few. that 2,323 racist crimes were report- this upsurge in racist violence, and But since the wall came down, gov- ed in 1996, slightly less than the by the time it finally began to crack History repeating itself ernment statistics show a rapid 2,468 in 1995. down in the mid-1990s, over thirty ‘Foreigners can no increase in the number of racist people had been killed. longer move freely in Fascism earned increasing support attacks. The number of acts of “Hardly a day passes without some eastern Germany...’ in the inter-war period in Europe, right-wing violence has gone from sort of incident,” she said. “The against a background of poverty, being fewer than 200 a year in the public appears to be pushing these depression and high unemployment. ‘The public... is becom- incidents out of its conscience and is Annette Kahane, east Berlin’s first Young males (the majority of this official commissioner for foreigners social group) who feel alone and ing accustomed to the becoming accustomed to the attacks as everyday occurrences.” since reunification, stated that, ignored by mainstream government, attacks as everyday There is also some suggestion that “Foreigners can no longer move turn to more extreme methods of occurrences.’ the official figures attempt to play freely in eastern Germany. protest to raise awareness and down the seriousness of this Normality in east Germany means a achieve some form of group identi- curfew for foreigners.” fication along the way. Fascism defined engineered by the “Zionist Occupation Government” to weak- Army chiefs are nazi azis and fascist are ultra- en the white race. sympathisers It is therefore perhaps somewhat nationalists who are hostile Fascists believe that hierarchy is disconcerting to see nazism once Nto democracy, to the rule of the natural order and that any ideas The number of scandals and the again gaining ascendancy in law and to fundamental human of equality are dangerous. They are amount of evidence, which came to Germany at the same time as unem- rights. They promote systematical- fiercely anti communist and anti- light just before Christmas regard- ployment is at a post-war high. ly ideas of hatred against those socialist and do not believe in the ing neo-nazi contamination in the (January 12.6%) whose skin colour, culture, reli- right to vote for all people, the army, including the higher ranks, gion, appearance, sexuality, way of rights of working people to organ- gives more than cause for concern. Nazism and racist violence are life or way of thinking is different. ise or equal rights for woman. Video evidence of soldiers celebrat- again on the increase in Europe, and ing Hitler’s birthday, giving the ille- despite the relative lack of media The entire nazi/fascist movement in Under their rule, trades unions and Anti-Semitism gaining gal long-arm salute. exposure, remain a serious threat to Europe shares a common ideology other independent democratic basic human and democratic rights, of xenophobic, racist and anti- organisations would be smashed popularity The 11 December issue of as Western Europe moves into the Semitic hatred based on bogus and parliamentary institutions abol- Germany’s well respected news twenty-first century. “race science”. History, the Nazis ished. Nazis proclaim the need for On a very closely related topic, a magazine Stern, contained pictures see as an epic mystical struggle an authoritarian state, preferably report published in a December of soldiers posing with swastikas between the white, “Aryan” race led by a Hitler-type führer. They issue of the Allgemeinen Juedischen and a portrait of Hitler. One former and the Jews, who it is claimed, admire individual heroism, strong Wochenzeitung (General Jewish army trainee told the magazine that stand behind a massive world con- leadership, sacrifice, discipline and Weekly) quoted the chairman of the senior officers tried to instil the tra- spiracy. For the Nazis, the Jews are courage - the supposedly “manly” Central Council of Jews in ditions of Hitler’s armed forces in the source of all known evil. qualities. Reason they reject in Germany, Ignatz Bubis, warning of those under their command. He Communism and capitalism are favour of irrational appeals to the the rise of anti-Semitic thought spoke of one officer in particular, Jewish, as is immigration which “national and racial Soul”. among students and intellectual cir- who kept a collection of SS regalia they believe to be a sinister plot cles in Germany, again against a ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:43 Page 6 (1,1)

6 Music Thursday 12th February 1998 n

WUBBLE U - Petal (Indolent) ALBUM OF THE WEEK - 1 “Once a poly-tito” there was a burst of SINGLES summer, with Stanley Unwin’s deepest ALBUMS werbs, and so becomes ‘Petal’, complete SINGLE OF with whimsical vocals, birds singing and THE REGRETS - New Directions: cricket on the lawn, bringing back a little Results Beat Boasts (Crank) THE WEEK sunshine, alongside a Freestylers mix, The guys in this band have a reputation rehashing Hardknox in the process. of giving high quality indie scene, CORNERSHOP - Brimful Of Consider my hands aloft. 7/10 H.B. Asha (Wiiija) rewriting the same James Taylor hit as I prefer the original version. SIX BY SEVEN - 88-92-96 (Mantra) retarded punk assault as eccentric Brit- Where Portishead meet Radiohead. Dark My mate thinks the remix is pop out-take as lo-fi ego purge. This and twisted sounds steeped with a haunt- album presents a different genre of better. One thing we agree on ing and melancholy vocal. Strangely music, the band call it “a more grown- endearing. 7/10 R.W. is that this record is a rolling up sound”, with stronger bass-tones, non-stop boogie party tune that LES RYTHMES DIGITALES - with scraped, minimal guitar playing, bounces relentlessly around Jacques Your Body (Make Me Sweat) nasal vocals and emphasis on a rhythm your head and leaves you (Wall Of Sound) section that reveals a solid and com- deliriously happy. We also By a Frenchman Jacques Lu Cont, from plex foundation beneath its shambling Reading, is big beat apparently but that outward appearance. Spoken words fly agree that this will be No.1 for seems to describe all of Wall Of Sounds weeks and weeks. 9/10 K.L. popular bands. The speech samples make above the sound of the guitar, and up the bulk of the noise. It also sounds a change into chorus once in a while. MELLOWBAG - Illusion (Coalition) bit like Daft Punk. 6/10 I.P. You’ll be amazed by quite a few songs A fantastic example of pop culture meeting such as the melodic schmaltz of ‘Play hip hop being turned around and spun on its BEDLAM AGO GO - Season No.5 (S2) With Yourself Until You Faint’, From the influential mind of Tricky to the head, in a break dance sort of way... quite ‘Inflated Passion’ or the acoustic ‘Ode simply, awesome. Sounds vaguely familiar voice of Roni Size comes Bedlam Ago go to the classic eighties hit ‘Just bugging’... if with the rejuvenated sound of trip hop. To Barton Fink’. The overall layout your memory is that good!! (I know some- Even though its not as cutting as either of and packaging of the CD is very well one who remembers those funky tunes...). the above, it is still refreshing. Spritzer. produced with colourful splash of con- 9/10 G.C. 6/10 K.M temporary art. Really nice! 8/10 D.A. PEARL JAM - Yield (Epic) You can tell when a band just clicks as they make their album. Here is THE V/A - Organic Technoloji (Botchit) Pearl Jam in ’98 and they have certainly clicked. ‘Yield’ is the album that is DANDY The theme of this record should be setting the mark that everything this year must attempt to reach. ‘Yield’ is WARHOLS - obvious from the title alone, but for the an album made by a band who are totally re-focused, a collection of emo- Every Day less intelligent among you, it’s about tionally charged music what varies in style from lush melodic ballads to Should Be fusing modern electronic music with Sonics-style garage rock. Many perceive Pearl Jam to be a hard rock A Holiday ‘organic’, ‘real’ instruments. It sounds band, possibly in places they may be, but ‘Yield’ shows them to be so (Capitol) like a rather exciting (if not exactly much more. They take the epic style of Led Zeppelin and U2, without the You can’t new) idea, and it does indeed give rise pomposity of either, and weld it onto the thoughtful delivery of REM. From to some pretty interesting music. Full the opening punk blast of ‘Brain Of J.’ to the closing beauty of ‘All Those help but Yesterdays’ Pearl Jam deliver in true style. The band have thoughtfully have heard Moon Scientist’s ‘Alien of Albion’ is an extremely effective hybrid of dub, included a ‘Masquerade-style puzzle for you to attempt whilst you listen to this as it has drum-n-bass, and Celtic folk, and it the music i.e. to find the ‘Yield’ sign in each of the album insert pho- been all over really does sound somehow new, and tographs. Album of the year, already? Could be. 9/10 R.W. the radio different. There are some very gor- VITREOUS HUMOR - Vitreous ‘melody’. Track 2 ‘Invention is a recently. A geous spinning acoustic guitar riffs in Humor (Crank) National Treasure’ builds up from soft Overrider’s ‘So Fine’, some spine-tin- Velvet Is this a short album or a long single? rock to heavy stuff over an impossibly gling percussive moments in ‘50’s in Underground Sometimes it is hard to tell. ‘Vitreous long time span. When it finally gets to 45’ by Amnesia, and indescribably kinda groove Humor’ is full of heavy strummy guitar the hard stuff I am far from impressed bizarre spoken verse in The Knights Of with a ZZ tracks. This tends to make it sound less and have an undeniable urge to hit the The Occasional Table’s ‘John Top riff. Very than original. Every song brings mil- off button and suck a throat sweet in Barleycorn’. All of which adds up to lions of others to mind but you can’t sheer sympathy. Overall, this is very cool indeed. give us a surprisingly varied and very really put a finger on them. Some of catchy stuff if rather mind numbing. 9/10 R.W. interesting slant on breakbeat dance, a the vocals sound like something which 6/10 G.T. diverse concoction of influences from requires first aid, other tracks are better the hardest drum-n-bass to the mellow- because they don’t have as many V/A - Spiritual Cleansing (Clean Up) est of dub. Not absolutely essential, but SAVE FERRIS - The World Is New (Epic) vocals. ‘Squares of Squares’ appears to What a weird concoction this was! The PRIMAL SCREAM - If They Move, Kill definitely worth a go. 6/10 A.M. Em (Creation) When confronted with the little, mouse go on forever without changing the first few tunes explore the ambient side Kevin Shields, of My Bloody Valentine, type thing on the cover of the CD, I can’t of “hip-hop”, and lead one to believe takes out more time from making his long help but worry about what I have just got ALBUM OF THE WEEK - 2 that the album is to progress in the awaited album and takes Primal Scream to myself into. However, the delicate mix- same manner, but when it suddenly ture of ska, pop and swing kind of con- the edge and chucks them off in this stun- becomes intelligent drum’n’bass, and ning remix. Jazz all gone mad. Also includ- vinced me that I could be wrong. The ed on this ineligible for the singles chart only problem is, I’ve heard this sort of then moves into pop-like undertones, it single is a hypnotic cover of The Jesus And thing before, only better. 6/10 D.N. is difficult to place it in any category. The one artist that was instantly recog- Mary Chain’s ‘Darklands’. The Scream FINLEY QUAYE - Your Love Gets nisable was the Sneaker Pimps, whose Team on top form. 8/10 R.W. Sweeter (Epic) Some say our beloved Finley is overrated, name will probably sell the CD. Don’t BREAKER - Stereotype (Coalition) some say he did the same song three buy it on this superficial aspect, Partly dazzling and partly exciting ‘proper’ times at the union, this new single is though. I do suggest listening to a debut as heavy rock guitars mold around the nowhere near as good as ‘Sunday selection of the tunes first. The best of sublime, almost understated beauty of Shining’ or ‘Even After All’, it just Rebecca De Ruvo’s vocals. 8/10 D.J. the selection are Koop’s ‘Glomd Ar deserves to thrown in the bin marked Skogens Gud’, a Swedish trance track average reggae. 6/10 N.W. PITCHSHIFTER - Genius (Geffen) that breaks all the known boundaries, Pitchshifter - the proof that metal and tech- THE CRYSTAL METHOD - and the Control Freaks’ ‘Very Serious no can mix, and what a way to mix! KeepHopeAlive (S2) Smoking’ which is fairly self-explana- Admittedly, ‘Genius’ only has about 2 This will sound familiar to most of you tory, including some very chilled sam- lyrics, but who in their right mind could not out there. It’s the music from the Army’s ples mixed up with weird vocals and latest attempt at getting recruits, is it me, love the line “If dysfunction is a function, I bass sounds. Putting a mark to it is must be some kind of genius.” Join the or are adverts simply becoming cheap club! 8/10 E.C. music videos? 6/10 F.F. hard, due to its complete unconvention- ality. 5/10 M.B. MONEY MARK - Hand In Your Head CHANTAL KREVIAZUK - God Made (MoWax) Me (Epic) The 23 year old Canadian certainly pro- DAWN OF THE REPLICANTS - One Head, Two Arms, Two Legs (EastWest) SOFA SURFERS - Transit (MCA) This single spreads Money Marks (aka The latest great, “alternative”, thing to Mark Nishita) stoned balladry over laid poses a list of potentially good tunes. Like your head at the height of chemical warfare. Not entirely working but pulsat- back 60’s organ, giving the overall sound a Somewhere between Sheryl Crow and ing and fizzing. With an energy that remembers all the best things in life, even be loved by the music press. By alter- timeless air and a hazy atmosphere... quite Texas....but with a flavour of originality though in reality they were shit. All in one moment, the feeling in your stomach native this does not mean guitars and a brilliant. 8/10 G.C. and uniqueness. Some of the music is raw interpreted by your head as everything you’ve ever lived for. From one thought to singer with an attitude. No, this is a and fiery, and other times its slow and the next, flowing, perhaps cascading but certainly not in control. Dawn Of The real alternative. So is this a new revo- This weeks music bought to you by paced. 5/10 I.U. Replicants not only sum this up, but they are it. Unique, sporadic, uncomfortably lutionary Daniel Jones, Frank Fraulo, Emma SIMON WARNER - The Wrong Girl superior yet entirely what? (It doesn’t matter.) (Listening to this and washing the advancement in the continually chang- Clarke, Matthew Beal, Kitty Leveret, (Rough Trade) dished turns an otherwise ordinary household chore into a life affirming experi- ing soundscape of the arse end of the Ikaraam Ullah, Honey Butcher, Well, it’s different. Once the song gets ence.) Emotive and understated, debut single ‘Cocaine On The Catwalk’ sets the nineties? No, this is unlistenable and Gabriel-Oliver Chamero, Dean Arif, started its not to bad, the really bad part boring. Some tracks involve long of the track is the piano introduction. It’s scene. ‘The Sea Birds’ is acoustic, overflowing with brilliance, whilst ‘Radars’ Denise Nicholson, Kevin Marston, monitors your every thought, knowing “you’re anticipating some kind of water- winded drum solos and plinky plonk Al Mooney, Ian Purvey , Nick Walsh, listenable but by no means good. The really funny track though is the B side , shed, some kind of end”. For a record that is fragile but also takes the bull firmly synths. In the main it’s the kind of Georgina Tarrant, Andrew Thomas, ‘Henry’s In Love’. It sounds like stereo- by the horns, the fragmented beauty and wonder are never lost. And criticism stuff you’d expect in an experimental Gemma Decent, Rob Winder typical French music. 4/10 G.D. seems hard. 9/10 D.J. movie, but not as good. 1/10 A.T. ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:43 Page 7 (1,1)

In association with:

Oops!

Due to production problems, a num- ber of errors crept into last week’s Election Special. We would like to point out that the peculiar layouts, the missing words, and any other bizarre happenings, were our fault, and not the fault of the candidates’! To all those candidates - sorry! Here is the [hopefully] correct version.

Oh, and we’ve changed the Hustings times - see page V. The manifesto re-run!! ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:43 Page 8 (1,1)

II n Welcome to the elections!

Elections - why? So how do I know who to vote for? Who is this candidate called RON?

You may be of the opinion that elections are all about For starters you could read the manifestos in this Election minibussing senile elderly folk from their nursing home to the Special. Perhaps the best way to convince yourself of the right RON (meaning Re-open Nominations) is your way of say- nearest polling station so that they can vote for the candidate with candidate is to ask them some questions to find out what they ing “stuff you” to all the candidates standing for a particular the stupidest sounding double-barelled surname. Well that’s not intend to do for you. You can do this either when they are out post. RON is, to all intents and purposes, yet another candi- the way we do things at Surrey! canvassing, or you can grill them at Hustings - where you get date, except you won’t see him on the campaign trail or at hear them make a speech about what they are offering, and Hustings. The difference is that, if RON wins, the election We give you the chance to vote for something that affects you - see them get embarassed as they compete in our wacky, dirty, for that post is scrapped we start all over again - both the you get the chance to decide who will be the Sabbatical Officers and possibly even smelly, challenges. Stand aside Stu Francis original candidates, and new candidates, are free to stand. If running your Union next year. Your vote could make the differ- you don’t want to endorse a candidate, but don’t wish them ence between having a great year and having a mediocre year. Do any ill, then just don’t vote for that candidate. If you posi- you really want those poor fees-paying freshers to get a mediocre tively want to prevent them getting elected, then use your welcome to Surrey? Do you really want a mediocre final year? Of RON vote course not! Here’s your chance to get the year you want. And who are these NUS delegate candidates? But I’m going on placement - so what’s the point in me voting? This lot aren’t standing to become Sabbatical Officers. They are hoping to represent Surrey at the OK, so you may not actually be here next year, but the National Union of Students Annual Conference at Union will be working for you in your absence. You Easter. Surrey can send seven delegates to the confer- might need the help of the Union if your placement goes ence, so you actually get to vote for your seven sour. You will need the Union to keep you informed of favourites. what’s going on at Surrey whilst you are away. You will need the Union to fight for your interests when you are Can I vote? And how? on placement. Imagine coming back to your final year Every full member of the Union is entitled to votes - and finding something like a new policy that says no so that means virtually all students. And here’s how: final years are accommodated on campus - and all because none of the Union Officers that got elected If you are not on placement could be bothered fight your corner! You really do need Do not use the ballot paper printed on the back page! to vote! Bring yourself and your campus card along to one of the voting sessions in the Union, Lecture Theatres, Right, I’m going to vote. or Austin Pearce building. Your name will be What’s the system? checked to ensure you are a student, and we will give you a stamped ballot paper. READ THE INSTRUCTIONS ON IT! Fill it in, and put it in the We use a Single Transferrable Voting system where ballot box. Simple. If you make a mistake, tell the rather than just picking one candidate, you get to rank desk attendants, and we’ll issue you with a new bal- the candidates in your order of preference. For example, lot paper. If you make any bizarre marks on your ballot paper, then we may have to reject it. Mr Happy 2 Mr Tickle If you are on placement Mr Uppity You should have got this Election Special through Mr Forgetful 1 the post, and the ballot paper on the back page Re-open Nominations should be stamped indicating its validity. Read the instructions printed there, fold it up, and post it back This would mean you want Mr Forgetful to win, and if Mr to us by 2pm on Friday 20th February. We have a Forgetful doesn’t get the job, then you would like Mr Happy to get FREEPOST address, so you don’t need a stamp. it instead. If Mr Happy didn’t win either, you are effectively say- You still need to use this ballot paper, even if you are ing you don’t mind which of the others gets the job (because you on placement near Guildford, then but you could haven’t given any other preferences) bring it along in person if you prefer. ps: We did hint that we may be introducing e-mail If, however, you voted liked this: voting for placement students, but unfortunately it wasn’t feasible this year. Sorry. Maybe next year... Mr Happy 2 Mr Tickle 3 Mr Uppity Mr Forgetful 1 VOTING TIMES Re-open Nominations 4 Mon wk 5 1 1- 1.30 Lecture Theatres Then you would be saying that your preferences would be Mr then 2.30 to 4pm in Thorne Room, St.Lukes (tbc) Forgetful, Mr Happy, and Mr Tickle, in that order. Then, if none of Tues wk 5 11- 2 Austin Pearce Building those won, you would prefer to scrap the whole election than let Weds wk 5 11 - 2 Students’ Union that grumpy bugger Mr Uppity win - this is indicated by RON Thurs wk 5 11 - 4 Austin Pearce Building being your fourth choice. then 7 - 11pm Chancellor’s Foyer When we count up the votes, we first count the number of 1’s each Fri wk 5 9 - 2 Lecture Theatres candidate has. If no candidate reaches the quota required to win, then the the candidates with the fewest votes is eliminated, and his Hopefully we will have a voting session at St. Luke’s on one afternoon - keep an or her votes are re-distributed according to the voter’s next prefer- eye out for posters! ence. This process is repeated until somebody reaches the quota - and then that person is the winner Where can I find out more?

All the manifestos are on the worldwide web at:

http://www.surrey.ac.uk/union/elections

Bare Facts intends to cover the elections, so keep reading. Election news will also be put on the web so placement students will be able to keep up to date. ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:43 Page 9 (1,1)

Student Affairs Officer n III MATT ‘POB’ LEFEUVRE FOR STUDENT AFFAIRS 98/99

Who am I? I am a final year chemistry student and have enjoyed my time at Surrey University. For two years I was actively involved in Nightline and was co- ordinator in my second year. During this time, I rewrote the Nightline constitution to bring it into line with current Students Union policy. In my indus- trial year, I assisted in the current Presidents election campaign. Also during my second year I was the Ents officer for the Student Enterprise Society and organised the infamous Circle line pub-crawl. This year I am the Internal Affairs Officer, which involves the overseeing of all Union Societies and so far, amongst other things I have rewritten the basic society constitution and The Beano. In carrying out my duties, I have become very aware of what is going on in the Union and what being the Student Affairs Officer entails and in my present position I have helped organise and run training for this years sabbaticals. On the Thursday that the manifestos are published, I will be attending the NUS Southeast regional conference, which will allow me to forge links with the NUS and to establish what NUS can do for us at Surrey. Accommodation, Accommodation, Consultancy If elected other issues I aim to tackle are: - Accommodation As a member of the present Union Childcare – Childcare provision for mature students is presently at best One of the most important issues to students, is Executive Committee I am aware inadequate and at worst, non-existent. My aim if elected is to ensure the provision of adequate accommodation for all of the issues involved and I am that the University provides adequate childcare facilities throughout the years. For several years an increasing number of fully committed to carrying out any year. final year students have been forced into finding recommendations that the report Course reps – My aim is to ensure that all departments have repre- off site accommodation when they were under the suggests that will be for the good sentatives on the course board of studies and that all students under- assumption that there would be room on campus. of the student population. stand what the course board of studies is all about. The Accommodation office has now got to the Postgrads – Presently we have a particularly active PGA and I hope to Tuition fees point of handing out B&B lists to people requiring be able to assist them in continuing this trend. This together with the current financial hardships already rooms. This is utterly disgraceful and can not be Industrial years – I aim to liaise closely with the professional placement facing students will ensure that fewer and fewer sixth for- helpful to anybody’s education. There are also not officer to ensure that all students on placements still feel that they are mers feel that they can afford to go to University, as has enough properties available for 6-month tenan- part of the Union and are kept up to date on the relevant issues. already happened in Australia and this year UCAS appli- cies as required by LIS and management stu- Disabled students – The access for disabled students is poor at the cations are down by 30%. I am totally against tuition fees dents. The Accommodation office needs to pro- moment and I aim to ensure that disabled students are able to access and I will ensure that this Union and this University con- vide more property managed houses and to all facilities provided by the University and the Union. tinue to vigorously campaign for the abolition of tuition ensure that prices are kept to a level affordable by Overseas students – A large percentage of Surrey students are over- fees and against the introduction of top up fees. students. seas students and the issues relating to all international students need While the Dearing report has many things to recommend We are all aware that carbon monoxide is very to be looked at in greater depth. including greater access for the disabled and teaching dangerous and that there has been at least one Nightline – My aim is to assist Nightline in its operation in any way that qualifications for lecturers. Tuition fees does not count case of carbon monoxide poisoning in a property I can as I believe it provides a very necessary worthwhile service. amongst these. managed dwelling. It is my aim to ensure that the Safety – I intend to liase with the police and local council officials with I aim to promote the availability and awareness of hard- accommodation office does something about this the aim of making the areas around campus safer with more street light- ship funds in an attempt to eleviate some of the financial very serious issue by routinely checking all gas ing and greater police vigilance where there have been attacks on stu- hardships facing students today. appliances in managed properties. Vote Pob For Thdents.e Job GILL VENABLES: STUDENT AFFAIRS 1998/99 What does the Student Affairs Officer do? The Student Affairs Officer works as part of the Student Advice Proposer : Gavin Berman Service, which is based in the Union. He / she deals largely with Final Year Economics academic problems, but also with issues to do with accommoda- Seconder : Joanna Waldren tion, finance, health and general welfare. In practice this means Final Year LIS advising individual students and also representing them on the Guarantor : Tom Sherwen relevant committees. The job involves liaising with the Welfare Officer, heads of departments, the health centre and the accom- Final Year LIS, President of Unplugged modation office, in order to give correct information and the best Guarantor : Matthew Spencer possible advice and help to students. He / she needs to be some- Second Year Sociology, Vice-Chairman one who can put people at their ease, so that everyone feels that of the University of Surrey Football Club they can drop in at any time for some friendly advice, however Guarantor : Sabine Haigis big or small their concern is. First Year Hotel & Catering Management Guarantor : Amelie Geeson Welfare First Year Dance and Culture This fairly broad term includes issues such as : l health awareness campaigns l safety (e.g. lighting around campus, promoting personal Why choose me? alarms,informing freshers of safe routes in Guildford at night ) As a Student Affairs Officer, students would find me friendly, l informing students about services such as the Chaplains Accommodation approachable and enthusiastic. I enjoy talking to people on a and Councillors There are various problems to do with accommodation one-to-one basis, and I have experience of working as part of a l making sure that the needs of all students are met that need to be addressed : team on a committee. I would therefore be confident when rep- (e.g. postgrads, mature students, industrial year students, resenting students in all sorts of different situations. My recent l overseas and disabled students) more of it is needed, both on and off campus work with the University Nightline has given me valuable expe- l Finance better arrangements are needed for students with rience in talking and listening to people, and an insight into how split industrial placements, who need short leases some of the campus advice services work. I would aim to pro- Obviously a major aim of the Student Affairs Officer is to keep l general upgrading of Hazel Farm, particularly the mote awareness of these facilities. up the pressure on issues like top-up fees and grants. On a more communal facilities and transport to and from personal level, he / she can give individual students advice and campus and supermarkets help with using the services that are already available, such as As I am a final year music student, I have spent three and a half l better guidance for students who sign leases with hardship funds. years at Surrey University, and have really enjoyed almost all of independent landlords, so that they don’t end up it. Every student experiences problemsat some point, and I would Education with unexpected expenses (e.g. water bills) like to work with determination for the individual student’s need, The Student Affairs Officer is the person to see if you need to the larger scale issues and, very importantly, as a team with the make an academic appeal, or have any grievances to do with your Positive steps could be taken in each of these areas, in other Sabbaticals and the Advice Service. course. close conjunction with the accommodation office. VOTE [1] GILL VENABLES FOR STUDENT AFFAIRS OFFICER 1998/99 ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:43 Page 10 (1,1)

IV n President

It’s time to build on our strengths and turn the union into a centre of excellence Vote Anne Kehoe President 98/99

I started at Surrey in October 1985 and became a Civil Engineering graduate in 1990. I have now returned as a postgraduate student on an MBA (Master of Business Administration) course. As an undergraduate (although never holding a union official post) I was an active member of Bare Facts, GCR and Rag (the year I was in Rag we made over £25,000). I was also an intro week helper for 9 years. I have had numerous part-time jobs in the union ranging from bar staff to security. After graduating I became involved in Ents and Crew and joined Karate Club. I also contributed to Student Enterprise by leading classes in Presentation Skills, Report Writing, Data Presentation and Leadership Skills.

So Why Am I Standing? The Business Perspective The Union Matters Overseas Students When I first arrived at Surrey the union was thriv- The Union Club has a turnover of over £1 million Student loans, tuition fees and student grants - Why do we only see some of you in International ing and was packed almost every night. Several - we’re one of the biggest consumers of alcohol in what can I say other than we’ve been stitched? I Week? Why haven’t we got an Overseas years ago the place was dead when there wasn’t a the county. So why are our beer prices so high? will campaign for students on every occasion Secretary? Overseas students make up a consider- main event on, but over the last year or so the place Let’s face it, the one thing most of you reading this when I think we can make a difference, on matters able percentage of the student population. I would has really picked up. I want to see this place go want is cheaper beer! such as this and anything else the Government like to see overseas students taking a more active from strength to strength and become a centre of The Food and Beverage Department are doing all may choose to throw at us. part in their union, both in terms of socialising and excellence for the students. I want to see the union they can to keep prices low. I will work closely NUS is a body costing us £24,000 a year that sup- holding union official posts. I need you to tell me become regarded as THE place to go. I want to see with them to ensure that students don’t pay any ports the needs of students nationally. Many stu- what you want from the union. as many students as possible being actively more than they have to. I will be actively encour- dents are unaware of what they actually do. If involved in the Union. aging them to get in more promotions - look at the they’re worth it then we’ll keep them. I will con- Nurses success of Silly Night and Bar FTSE. tinually review whether this expense is beneficia- In terms of the catering outlets, I realise this is a ry to us at Surrey. The union needs to seek better It is regretable that the University cannot house growing area that needs to continue to be promot- deals with NUS with regard to the price we pay for you all on campus, but that shouldn’t stop you Proposer: ed as much as possible. our beer. being an active member of the union. I will work Kevin Blain - Stage Manager 97/98 The union minibuses cost us a fortune. This area The union has spent £18,000 getting “profession- closely with the Liaison Office to ensure the union Club Committee Member should be financed by sponsorship and this will be als” in to look at how this place runs. I will give is doing all it can to meet your needs. Seconder: high on my agenda, working closely with the serious consideration to their recommendations Noreen Kearney - Fitness Centre Manager, Sports Officer. This essential service to the Clubs with the aim of making our union a better and Postgrads and Mature Students Sub Aqua Ass Club Instructor and Societies must be maintained without any more financially efficient place. Assistant Warden increase in costs to club members. This is another group of people that is under-repre- Postgraduate Student sented in the union. As a part-time student, a post- Guarantors: My last 12 years involvement with the union has given me the opportunity to observe how the union runs graduate and a mature student I have an apprecia- Chris Bradshaw - Ex Stage Manager, and work out what makes it tick. tion of the issues that affect you. I intend to see Silly Night DJ, I believe that my management experience and my passion for the success of the place is the winning for- that the union hosts more events that appeal to you Grad Ball Production Team mula to lead the sabbatical team and make our union a damn fine place to go. guys and some events that are specifically aimed at Mike Pantrey - Scout and Guide Club, you. Silly Night DJ Vote KEHOE [1] to make OUR union a better union. Jon Franklin - EIHMS, Nursing Studies John Mitchell - My mate! and postgrad Any questions? Email me at [email protected]

Hello, my name is Kamran Loqueman. I graduated last year in Retail Management and after a successful campaign was elected to the Sabbatical post of Liaison Officer. These are the reasons why I’m running for Union President 1998-99. The story so far... Mature, Postgraduate and Part-Time Students make up around It has been an exhilarating time being a Sabbatical Officer this 50% of the Student population at Surrey, and the Dearing Report year. On a local level we’ll be receiving the final results of the CEL recognises that Students’ Unions do little to provide relevant ser- Report soon. This is an in-depth look, by an external consultancy vices and support. My aim will be not necessarily to solve these firm, at the needs and wants of Surrey Students and the services problems overnight, but to set up a programme that will draw them provided by the Union and the University. This is the first time the into making the most of their Union membership. Union has ever actually taken a physical, positive step to tackling Hazel Farm residents need to be consulted and their situation the need for overall direction. This year has been the beginning of improved dramatically. I aim to make the Union and the University a major chapter in the life of the Surrey Student body and I am so reach these Students to their satisifaction. keen to be here, where it counts, to help Surrey Students. We need a more attractive Union. Why is the Union packed out on Tuition Fees have stirred up a lot of Universities and Unions a Friday Night but empty during the rest of the week? The Union around the country. We must ensure that the Students’ Union should be a place for all, at any time of the day, for any reason. maintains and improves the support we currently provide to the Services such as Banking or Shopping will not only benefit you, but Students, many of whom are going to need more of our help. I also provide more revenue for the Union, which will in turn provide know this will not affect you undergraduates out there already, but more funds for future services. I must be responsible and look towards the forthcoming intake of Entertainment students and those that will follow. This year saw the introduction of the very successful Silly Nights. Proposer The Union is not just a building They were thought up by students and put into practice by Students. Carl ‘Cookie’ Cookson - Final Year This is something of which I would like to see more. I recognise the Some people may not perceive the Union as a place to go. This Electrical Engineering Student, Bar doesn’t mean we should ignore these Union members, it just need for a balance between ensuring an event is successful and the Supervisor, Ex Stage Manager, Ex need for variety, but not all Union events should be an excuse for the means we need to provide support and services outside the Union Union Chairperson. consumption of alcohol! Do you have to be drunk to have a good Building and even outside the University. Seconder time? Union events cannot be appealing to everyone all the time, Jane Sharpe - Electrical Engineering but by organising many different events we can cater for all mem- Clubs and Societies Postgraduate, Campusport Fitness These are our contacts with minority groups. Not all society mem- bers. Instructor. bers may enter the Union building, but they are at least involved Guarantors My focus is on spreading the use of the Union to those who don't with their Union in some way. It is my aim for these groups to Cerise Andrews - Dance Student, necessarily use it at the moment and improving it for those that cur- receive better support from the Union, not only financially, but with Entertainment’s Chairperson. rently do. regards to help in organising events and planning new projects. Chris Handy - CIT Course Representative, Photosoc Spending £18,000 on a consultancy report must not be wasted. It Expand your mind through Sports Clubs, Societies and other Chairperson, Mature Student. will provide us with strategic direction, however, we need to take programmes such as the Skills Development Programme, Matt Robertson - 2nd Year things one step at a time.I believe with my experience as a University Education is not just lectures, essays and exams, but Tonmeister. Sabbatical and personal qualities, I can help take the Union through the progression of extra-curricular interests. Anne-marie Hiscock - 1st year these first few crucial steps towards building a bigger and better Union for Surrey Students. ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:43 Page 11 (1,1)

President n V

Why me? About me… Fun for all I’m Union Chairperson (organiser of Student Hello. My name is Harriet and I’m running for Societies are an important part of University life. Councils), Senior Resident, Secretary of Unplugged President. I’m lively and enthusiastic and hopeful- Overseas Societies provide a valuable link for Society (event co-ordinator), a member of Ents ly over the next few weeks, you’ll get to know me students who may feel isolated from home and Committee and a final year Tonmeister student. better! I collect pants (current collection 68) and culture; they need better representation. The Mature This hectic lifestyle gives me experience, enjoyment like nothing better than a storming night at the Students’ and the Post Grad Students’ Associations and a thorough understanding of University life. My Union followed by a delicious garlic naan bread are thriving; their voice should be heard. I will aptitude and determination is second to none and I with cheese. I believe in moving on; improving stu- encourage all clubs and societies to raise their profile want your help to shape the Union from a sleeping dent life and raising the profile of our Union. within the Union and beyond. We will work together giant into a vibrant community of students who get to maximise sporting opportunity and potential, the most out of University life. ensure funding and enhance your social life.

The Financial Nightmare Facilities Tuition Fees have arrived and ‘Top-Up Fees’ are The new campus Launderette is first-class and Hari’s threatening our horizon. I will act NOW to urge the Bar is great. Improvements for ‘98/’99: University not to enforce these extra fees for any of Library - for a broader education our courses, before it’s too late. Computing - access and safety Hazel Farm - a vital part of our community Beer and Entertainment - low prices, variety and pub- The BIG picture licity. I will keep the University and the Union informed of NUS: it’s not about militant campaigning, it is the students’ needs and ensure action is taken. powerful voice and network of support for UK Universities. WHY ME? Consultancy Review: we need realistic proposals Harriet’s Supporters for long-term planning and short-term action. l Experience and Enthusiasm Proposer : Jez Carr (Course Representative, Ex. CU Committee) Second Campus: quest for the truth… l No! to Top-Up Fees Seconder: Liz Cox (My Best Friend, Orchestra Leader) l Yes! to a First-Class Union Guarantors: Mark Pascoe (Volleyball Chairperson, Your voice will be heard locally and nationally. I will Badminton Club) With experience, dedication and a need to suc- Wendy France (Ex - External Affairs Officer and Student Initiatives liaise with other Universities to bring you the best. ceed, I have what it takes to be President. Vote Officer Alex Dechamps (Mountaineering Club,Ninjitsu, No-Wave Society) for Harriet Sims and invest in the future. Thomas Béguin (Amnesty Society, Bongo Expert)

7.30pm: Student Affairs Officer hustings 8.30pm: Liaison Officer hustings 9.30pm: President hustings ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:44 Page 12 (1,1)

VI n President

An interview with

Vote Mark and put the PRESIDENT 1998-99 SPARK back into your Union

Mark, why don’t you start off at the bar and am Rag Vice-Chair (a.k.a. A multi-national union - There are current- by introducing yourself to the Dipsy) where I helped to organise the fantas- ly 8000 students at this Union of which Any other ideas we should be readers? tic Rag Week held last semester, although I around 19% are overseas. One of my greatest aware of? am a bit biassed! concerns is that a large majority of these stu- My name is Mark Stuart and I am a second dents are not utilising the Union’s facilities. l Improve facilities at Hazel Farm year Economics student aiming to be Union OK, so you’re an ideal The Union is not just one big bar, there are a l Provide support and information to President during my industrial year. You candidate but what ideas have range of non-commercial services, such as students regarding the introduction may know me from Rag, bar work, union you actually got to improve our the welfare officers. I would like to see an of tuition fees stuff, Course Rep, Intro Week helper or even Union? increase in the number of international nights l Keep industrial year students more as that person staggering around the Union and the number of societies using the Helyn informed of what’s happening in during a FNO. If you still have no idea who As we all know there are many areas that Rose bar. their Union I am or you think I’m not serious about this l Increase external revenue through job then read on and you may be surprised! need improving within the Union but I will be focusing on certain items: NUS/WESSEX - I aim to continue working advertising, stalls, promotions and Isn’t the second year a little closely with both organisations throughout sponsorship too early to be thinking of Communication - The communication next year. The union can only benefit from l Increase the number of students becoming a Sabbatical? between the Union and the students has to be increased communication with other unions involved in the running of the Union improved. I will ensure that each letter in in our area. l Increase the number of post-graduates Although a second year I am 22 and spent Bare Facts is answered by a relevant person using the Union facilities two years working before coming to Surrey. I and there will be a column where I will keep Value for money Ents - A greater variety of l Improve relationships between the worked for eighteen months at a top interna- you informed of changes going on in your Ents, like theme nights and beer promotions Union, University and local businesses tional investment bank and a further six Union. are needed. which currently is not happening. months for Eurocamp in Italy, equipping me The Consultancy Review - I will use the But if students are expected to pay steep tick- Any final comments? with the skills and experience invaluable to review as a guideline for what the et prices, they deserve better value for money Yes, I firmly believe that being a second year the role of president; responsibility, decision- Sabbaticals should be prioritising their than is currently being shown. is a huge incentive to do a good job as pres- making, communication and teamwork. efforts on and to ensure that we all look at ident as I still have another year to go here. our development work and not just our day I fully intend it to be a storming year for both Apart from these personal skills, I also have to day duties. Proposer: Wendy Bowater, Rag Chair myself and the rest of the students and if I considerable knowledge of the day to day run- Seconder: Eddy Clarke, GCR DJ “Drop-in sessions” - Sabbaticals are busy mess up, there’s nowhere for me to hide. On ning of the Union. I have been an active Guarantors: Jo Thompson, 4th yr LIS people so I intend to set up “drop in ses- a final note I’d like to remind everyone that member of both Club and Union Executive Omar Rehman, 2nd yr CIT sions” where each Sabb has a set time when “it only takes a few minutes to vote. Surely Committee and I am currently helping to Justine Rose, 1st yr Raggette they will be in their office to answer any that’s worth a great 12 months!” oversee the Consultancy Review. I also work Katie Fiske, 2nd yr Nurse queries from students.

Final year “Mechanical Engineer with Business and Management” Student n Computing facility shake up - getting Long-standing and passionate member our finger back on the pulse of UOS Rugby Football Club n Financial plans and student surveys Frenzied social participant in union nightlife and anything else that is going on. n Guaranteed improvement in legal guidance and protection n Critical assessment of accommoda- Hazel Farm Union-run bar Why not me! I have to offer: tion office performance Cash in your pocket n Improved off-site bus services for all n A love of people Union events and week-day club nights n A realistic “no holds barred” approach Proposed n Cheaper Beer - there must be a way! to life n New shop, new image - how about Thokozani Myfanwy Price Jones n A commitment of getting the very best new lower prices? (Former Economics Society) deal for you! n Restaurants - Do you really need to n A talent of bringing out the best in a Seconded pay this much? team through recognising and utilising n Financial advice - Banks and life the skills in others Richard Saulet n Excellent communication and inter- (Law Society Chairperson and columnist) personal skills, covered with a delicious Guaranteed cheese topping n Your Union has a lot to offer - let’s Afam Onye (Phat Vibes and Afro-Caribbean n The ability to get the job done - suc- ensure you’re informed and involved n Day time chill-out environment for Soc.), Nick Turner (Equal Opps Officer and cess is the only option and if that fails whatever your creed or colour those mid-day blues Ex LGB President), Helen Davis Former compromise will do Secretary of Christian Union), Theodore n “Oldies” week for returning Industrial n The missing link between the Union Baltas (Treasurer of HellenicSociety) Placementers and you! ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:44 Page 13 (1,1)

Liaison Officer n VII

Who am I? mous scope for development. the degree and diploma nurses, and also between the students Aims: and the staff. And due to the offsite accommodation and I’m a final year teaching facilities, and also practical placements, transport is Biochemical Toxicology One of my aims is to be in contact with all the European another problem. These are areas where a lot of work will be student, and I am currently Institute for Health and Medical Sciences (EIHMS) students, required to open the channels of communication and to solve the Entertainment’s Team by one method or another (although preferably over a bottle or the problems in a practical way, but when successful, the pay secretary. I am an avid two!) in the coming year. I want to ask how you would like off will be enormous. I will also campaign for increased attendee at the Student this job to be moulded to suit your needs. financial support. Council, and I am also a member of the Student On top of this I will maintain regular surgery sessions in all I also believe that more regular social events are a much Industrial Society. the EIMHS satellite sites, to give you a regular time and needed addition to the diary. Social events are a great way to place when you know I’ll be available to discuss any prob- break down barriers, but most importantly - they’re a laugh! lems, concerns, complaints or ideas that you may have. I will Conclusion: So why do I want the post of In summary, my main priority is to encourage all channels of communication, with a primary method being regular surgery Liaison Officer? sessions to which all nurses can attend. With this as a base, dif- ficulties between degree and diploma course nurses, and Well, initially the post was something I had not even consid- between staff should be easier to resolve. Improvement to ered. It was a friend who suggested that I try for the position, general organisation will pave the way for better transport and believing that I possessed the ‘desired qualities’. And the more facilities in general. I learnt about the nurses, their courses (both diploma and degree), and their general situation, the more I realised that the A lot of you are not on campus, some of you just feel dis- position of Liaison Officer was one that was greatly needed. tanced, and so there is difficulty in tackling these issues on No student should have to put up with communication prob- your own. It will be my job to channel your ideas and prob- lems, inadequate transport facilities, and the extra worries that lems to the appropriate ears, and to keep you informed of the often results from lack of personal finance. But many nurses progress we make. The position of liaison officer therefore have an even greater problem because the accommodation and requires an approachable individual, who is motivated and teaching facilities are often as far field as Crawley, Redhill, enthusiastic about your thoughts, ideas and needs; and will act Chichester and Chertsey. on your behalf to put them into practice. also ensure that the degree students don’t get left out either, so One thing I have learnt from my four years at university is that surgery sessions will be established at a regular time on Proposer - Alex Pearson (Biochemical if you want something done, then you have to do it yourself. campus for anyone to attend and share their gripes! Toxicologist) That may be an old cliché, but whether it’s just going to ask Seconder - Karen Swales (Biochemical your tutor for help or whether it’s helping organise Ent’s for Encouraging honest and open communication is a priority for Toxicologist) the semester, you have to put in the effort to see any results. I me, for it is my belief that problems can only really be solved Guarantors - believe time spent at University should be as stress free and by bringing them out in the open and discussing them. Better Siobhan Corbett (Nurse) enjoyable as possible, and just because most of the student communication also leads inevitably to more efficient organ- nurses are off campus doesn’t mean they should miss out. Alison Cordle (Nurse) isation, which is beneficial to everybody, with respect to time, Anthony Lawrence (Biochemist) finance and general state of mind! The post of Liaison Officer is only two years old. There is not Tania Rocks (Applied Psychology & Sociology, Union Treasurer, OFU Treasurer, even a proper job description to define what is required from Since the merger to form the EIHMS is such a recent event, me. But that is to your advantage. For it means there is enor- there are still the inevitable teething problems between both Ballroom Treasurer) CIARAN WATTERS - LIAISON OFFICER 1998/99 Who am I?

I’m a final year student nurse. When I started nursing in l I wish to improve the transport arrangements 1994, there was no such thing as the E.I.H.M.S., semes- between the university and satellite sites, both terisation, common foundation & branch programmes. I during the day and for social events. Hazel Farm have seen first hand how these changes have affected our is part of the university, why can’t we have a education and morale. Every student nurse (both degree similar service. and diploma) that I have spoken to is fed up with the lack l I wish to propose an alternative communication of support, communication and standards. We were network, where one person in each satellite site is never involved in the changes, we never had a chance to responsible for all communication, both internally make our voices heard. Our course reps did all they and externally. could to represent us, but the decisions were finalised before they were informed. l I will support all course representatives, and offer any assistance I can. I am aware that every department has its difficulties, however the problems with nursing are unique, and can- l I wish to develop communication links between all not be full appreciated by anyone outside nursing. nurses. This is a difficult task I know. However I Through my experiences I have amassed a great deal of know that if we all shout together something will knowledge on how our department works and what to do have to be done, and we will all have a good time when things go wrong. I have been an integrated course doing it. board representative for one and a half years, with my friend and colleague Claire Hopkins. l I will be there for every nurse that feels that they have been unfairly treated or discriminated against. The fundamental purpose of the liaison officer’s post I am very aware that placements can very easily Proposer: Claire Hopkins was to improve communication links between the uni- turn nasty, and the student nurse can feel alone and Seconder: Lisa Worden versity and all the satellite (non-campus) sites, until the isolated. new E.I.H.M.S. building is completed in mid 1999. The Guarantors: Baljit Bhandal current Liaison Officer has expanded this role, and has I want to be your advocate! Willem Boon worked on numerous ventures within the Students Sian Kendall Union. I wish to follow in his footsteps and continue Together we stand, divided we fall. Sophia Petousi where he has left off. It’s time to do ourselves good. Let a Nurse represent nurses for a change ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:44 Page 14 (1,1)

VIII n Sports Officer ALEX LANGLEY [1] FOR SPORTS 1998/99

Proposer : Hi, I’m Alex – final year Civ Eng, dedicated rugby player, proud Civ Eng sports rep, regular union socialite find this more daunting I intend to Adam Bowen (Windsurfing and I want to convince you to vote me as sports officer 1998/99. Like the other candidates I have a list of open a Sports Clinic at a specific Chair, Ex Duke of Edinburgh sporting achievements to my credit which include captaining Kent under 19 rugby, trials for London and time every week, during which I Treasurer, Ex Welsh Soc. Chair) the South East region and organising charity sporting events, however I am first and foremost a commu- would be available for discussion in Seconder : nicator and an organiser. I am dedicated to all aspects of sport at Surrey. general. Alexis Philippidis (Water Polo time competing for your department. CHARITY SPORTS I myself have spent four fantastic Captain) Campusport runs an excellent pro- years at Surrey, during which I Still not found anything for you? I, gramme of events upon which I aim have benefited from the all round Guarantors : myself have been involved for over 3 to capitalise by raising the profile of sports facilities available and feel Tony Ede (Duke of years in charity sports events and competition. that it is time to give something Edinburgh Club) believe me, it can be FUN! We are back. You’ll find that my outgoing, Rob Alter (Golf SPORTS AWARENESS 11,000 students here at Surrey, approachable character makes together we have great potential to Captain, Sports Exec.) me the ideal choice for sports Not a fresher but want to join in the not only have an excellent time Ross Nichol (Rugby sabbatical for 1998/99. first time? No problem! through various sporting activities, Chair) I am always open to any ques- The Sports Fayre should be the but we can raise money for worth- Jo Lancaster (Netball tions, comments or suggestions ideal opportunity for all students to while causes at the same time. This 1st Captain) so feel free to contact me either find out about sports at Surrey. I would greatly develop the profile of by phone X4739 or via Email : intend to change the stereotypical sport at Surrey, and enhance its rep- SPORTS FOR ALL- GETTING [email protected] and remem- image of the fayre as being for fresh- utation within the surrounding com- INVOLVED ber vote [1] for Alex Langley. ers only, and as such to promote it to munity. increased publicity is a theme that I The sporting facilities and clubs on all undergraduates and postgradu- would like to develop throughout all offer at Surrey are open to people of ates alike. WEDNESDAY AFTERNOONS sports at Surrey. all abilities - however every year the If you don’t want to get out those Vote Al and I shall :- white winter legs for everyone so Due to the introduction of semester- problem reoccurs with those who FUNDING see - don’t worry! You do not have isation and modularisation, we have consider themselves “not good seen increased pressure on the ü encourage more to play to take an interest/be It’s an unfortunate fact that funding enough”. Everyone is good enough, timetable. This has meant that involved. One of my endeavours is for Sports at Surrey is not always sports involvement everyone has potential. I intend to Wednesday afternoons are no to improve the awareness of sport sufficient to meet the demand of our ensure that clubs encourage all stu- longer kept free for extra-curricular ü and to encourage more spectators clubs. Sponsorship is a highly lucra- make all aspects of dents to join in at any level. activities. We as students have not and also develop the sports cover- tive area - one I believe we must sport more accessible been consulted about these deci- age in our university publications. pursue. I aim to capitalise on For those of you who may not see sions - this is something I aim to This would include the improvement Surrey’s prestigious reputation in ü clubs as being the thing for you, change. There are many benefits to organise charity of the results service and the addi- order to gain club sponsorship and Inter-departmental sports is the per- gain from Wednesday afternoon sporting events tion of forthcoming fixtures. This investment. Association with rep- fect opportunity to spend a fun lunch sports : let’s not lose them!!! utable companies will build a firm ü actively seek funding financial structure for Surrey sports I’M HERE TO LISTEN TO YOU in the future. Let’s not forget that it ü keep Wednesday is also possible to top up our own Being approachable is an important JUST DO IT budgets from theme nights which I aspect of being any sabbatical. If afternoons free for sport you have any questions basic or intend to initiate right here in the ü Union. I’ll help you to help your- complicated, my door will always be be approachable If YOU care abouselves.t sport reaopen,d however th fori thoses! who often

Proposer Mike Spradbery USMC Training Officer Who am I? Quality Whist I will be careful not to Seconder Jo Austin Community Action Chair I am a Final year physicist and Chairperson of the Mountaineering club. I have been an active member of the club for four years and have held committee posi- promote an elitist ethic, I strong- Guarantors Dave Hamilton Hiking Chair & Sports exec ly believe that the competitive Phil Mann Cricket Chairperson tions for two of these. Alexandra Cass Christian Union Secretary I strongly believe that I have the skills to enable clubs to realise their potential, clubs should receive the support Dia Naman Amnesty Secretary both in the development of current sportspersons and the encouragement of new they need so that they are in a ones. position not only to compete at Sport for All the same level as the opposition Even though the last few sports officers have had Keep Wednesday free but to win!! strong sports for all polices and have implemented At Surrey we are incredibly fortunate to have facilities and the structure Finance them well there still seams to be a lack of interna- available to use them, One thing that I will fight for is that these facilities Over the past few years sport at surrey has been progres- tional, mature and postgraduate students involved. I are not only available but kept accessible by keeping Wednesday after- sively improving, and growing. Whilst this is fantastic certainly do not think that there is any discrimina- noons free. Senate are currently reviewing their policy on Wednesday after- there is an obvious problem. Higher numbers of students tion against these groups but for whatever reason noons. Whoever you vote for, join the campaign to keep Wednesday after- participating in sport cost more money. these groups are not in general participating in noons free for sports societies and other student development! One of my priorities will be to secure funding from as sports. The recent CEL consultation highlighted that If we don’t fight for it we’ll lose it!!!! many different avenues as possible such as sponsorship, the union is failing minority groups and I feel that advertising etc. this carries right through to sports. Taster days Club Support I am committed to developing ways that allow every Whilst the sports fair is highly successful it only gives the freshers the First and foremost I intend to be as available, accessible area of the student community to make the best use briefest hint of what the clubs and sports are about. In addition to the fair I and approachable to students as possible with a complete- of the universities facilities. intend to introduce a system of “taster days” where students will be able to ly open door policy. In addition I feel it will be useful to spend a day with the club getting a real feel for the sport. I believe that Student development have Captains/Chairpersons meetings. Where the many students find it hard/daunting to approach sports clubs especially At the moment there are a few very successful Chairs/Captains of a particular group of clubs and their mid-way through the semester. Taster days will give students another open schemes where students can use their skills to gain exec representative meet me to discuss in more detail how invitation to participate in sport. It will also give an invaluable opportunity qualifications or useful experience. I will continue to I can best be of service to them and how they can help for current sports men and women to try something new. support and encourage these schemes and will be each other. happy to support new ones. There will also be more training days for club committee Diversity I am also keen that both students and industry see members so that students are trained as close to being Sport at Surrey takes many different forms; from competitive clubs such as the commitment that many people give to a club as a elected as possible. football and rugby through to recreational sports including gliding and hik- highly worthwhile attribute,and that students see the I am currently developing a fully self maintained on-line ing. There is not enough space to name all of the clubs at Surrey in this value in being part of or running a sports club. minibus booking system, which should be ready before manifesto, and this is exactly how I will ensure that it stays!! If any club Easter. This will leave the sports officer with more time should run into trouble for whatever reason and become “dormant” it will Community for more important matters than booking minibuses. A number of clubs tend to socialise separately from be the sports exec’s responsibility to promote that sport and establish if one another. I will encourage greater integration there is still an active interest in the club. Sport at Surrey is too good to let decline Vote ‘apres-sport’ on a Wednesday night. for someone who cares about sport- Vote Joe To contact me for any reason BE A SPORT...... VOTE JOE [1] e-mail: [email protected] ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:44 Page 15 (1,1)

Sports Officer n IX For all your sporting needs - Vote Graham Meads.

The name’s Meads, Graham Meads. Age 21. Height 5’9’’.Weight 12 stone 7lb.

Proposer: Steve Russell (former Hockey 1st team Communication. Captain) By working closely with the Sports Standing Committee, Sports execu- Seconder: Matthew Spencer (Football Vice-Chair and for- tives and Club Captains/Chairpersons I will strive to do all in my power mer Tour Organiser) to aid with the smooth running of our clubs. This, I see as an integral part Guarantors: Richard Saulet (Sports Editor for Bare Facts) of my prospective role as future Union Sports Officer for it is they who Steve Conlon (Environment Officer) know the logistics of their own sports and can provide me with the nec- Yogesh Thankey (Cricket & Asian Society) essary information needed for improvement. Rosalind Southall (Hockey Chair) I aim to improve the infrastructure and enforce a clearly defined process in respect to the way Surrey conducts it’s Sports Programs. This will Sport has always played an important part in my life. During my four eliminate disappointments such as the double booking of years at Surrey I have seen sport as a vital part of University. It has pro- Minibuses/Pitches, which will in turn increase our enjoyment and con- vided me with an opportunity to escape from the pressures of study and tribute to Surrey’s continuing success. served as a fundamental part of my social life. I firmly believe that everybody should be in a position to participate in Wednesday Afternoons For All! activities, whether it be competitive or non-competitive, so that each In order to reduce the costs of officials the and every student can experience the sense of camaraderie which In agreement with the sports development program, my primary policy opportunity will be provided for any inter- comes from representing Surrey. will be to do all in my power to turn back the ever growing tide of ested members to Interdepartmental and Non-competitive Sport. scheduing lectures on a Wednesday afternoon. Which denies individuals attend various respective courses to attain a of their right to sport and robs our sports clubs of continuity, which is qualification that will enable them to offici- I am dedicated to the development of sport at grass roots level. This in essential to ensure our continuing success. ate their own matches when they are unable my opinion starts at the level of increasing the availability and standard Following the removal of block fixtures there has been an inevitable to take part themselves. of facilities, improving the communication with University staff, further decline in club unity on a Wednesday afternoon. I will strive to make Sport has in the past few years received an development of the Interdepartmental sports program, along with con- Wednesday nights special once more. Along with these evenings of joy- enhanced profile nationally. I want us to be tinuing and improving the assistance our non-competitive sports clubs ous stupor, the aim is to introduce other various social events. I firmly part of the promotion towards the growing receive. We should be able to enjoy the availability of these sports with- believe such measures will redress the balance and aid the continued awareness of the importance of sport in all out being burdened by the huge financial costs associated with such restoration of club spirit. our lives. activities. Non-competitive sports have so far been unable to benefit I believe that my energy, experience and from the assistance or profile they clearly deserve in days gone by. They Dosh! enthusiasm will allow me to propel Surrey contribute an enormous amount to our University, and deserve to be into a University of high profile sporting recognized accordingly. I believe there is much scope to improve the funding of our sporting clubs. This I intend to do by approaching local businesses and securing achievement, building Upon the strong sponsorship, therefore enhancing our facilities, equipment and thus foundations laid by previous sports officers improving our capacity to compete at the highest level. allowing Surrey to be at our rightful place. VOTE MEADS - SEE SPORT SUCCEED! Do you have too much time on your hands?

re you interested in what goes on in the Union? paigns Do you want to get involved? If so, now’s Union Treasurer, who is responsible for Union funds Ayou’re chance. Part-time Union Officer posts and organises and chairs the Finance Standing are currently up for election and any student is eligible Committee to apply. These part-time Union Officers are the people Sports Chairperson, who organises and chairs the who work with the Sabbatical Officers to shape Union Sports Standing and Sports Executive Committees policy, and help with the general running of the Professional Placement Officer, who lets Industrial Student’s Union. If you’ve ever been to a Student Year students know whats going on in the Union Council (SC) meeting then you’ll probably have heard Rag Chairperson, who runs Rag, and chairs the Rag what individual officers do Committee It’s a great thing to do if you have ideas on how we can Entertainments Chairperson, who liaises with the make the Union better. It’s a good way to meet new peo- Ents Manager and chairs the Ents Committee ple. It’s also a very good thing to put on your C.V. In Women’s Officer, who makes sure women are repre- fact it is possible for any Union Official to get a NVQ sented on Union committees and provides welfare sup- in Management Skills. poprt for women students The posts available are: Environmental Officer, who promotes enviromental awareness within the Union and University Union Chair person, who organises and chairs SC Equal Opportunities Officer, who ensures the Union meetings. adheres to equal opportunities policies General Secretary(me), who helps the Union Bare Facts Secretary, who chairs the BF Editorial VOTING TIMES Chairperson, and the Internal and External Affairs Board, and ensures the smooth running of BF Officers, and minutes the Student Council and Union Mon wk 5 11- 1.30 Lecture Theatres Executive Committee , meetings. So if you’re interested in finding out more,leave a note then 2.30 - 4 St. Luke’s (Thorne Rm) Internal Affairs Officer, who oversees the running of in the General Secretary pigeon hole at the back of the Tues wk 5 11 2 Austin Pearce Building all Union societies and organises and chairs the Union pigeon holes room in the Union, or fill in a nomination Weds wk 5 11 - 2 Students’ Union Exec meetings. form, available in the General Secretary pigeon hole. Thurs wk 5 11 - 4 Austin Pearce Building External Affairs Officer, who lets the Union know Alternativly e-mail me - mu41rl. then 7 - 11 Chancellor’s Foyer what the NUS (the National Union of Students) are Richard Linecar doing and vice-versa and organises pro-student cam- Fri wk 5 9 - 2 Lecture Theatres General Secretary ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:44 Page 16 (1,1)

X n Communications Officer Sophie Rocks [1] for Comms

Proposer - Marcus Mayers (3rd year SOMS) Sophie’s Bare Facts J Actively involved in Bare J Final year BSc (Hons) Facts and Union since 1st year Seconder - Sarah Gyles (2nd year Nutrition, BF Sec) Biochemistry (Toxicology) J Previous member of Club J Currently Professional Committee Guarantors - Cerise Andrews (2nd year Dance, Ents Chair) Placement Officer (Union official J Currently involved in G&S, Alex Cass (2nd year Chem Eng) position); editing, writing, produc- Archery, Charter Ball Committee Tony Ede (1st year Physics PhD, Post Grad ing newsletters and maintaining and Graduation Ball Committee Association Ents) web site J Work experience in press Ewen Ferguson (3rd year Elec Eng) J Bare Facts Secretary in 1st and office and public relations compa- 2nd year ny Bare Facts J Running mentoring and work- Development team. This should on the web but there is still the need cations, such as the Surrey increase WWW usage, ensure that to improve communication to off- Advertiser and Guildford Times. Virtually all students agree that shop programmes for photographers publicity adheres to USSU guide- site students. I will do this by: Bare Facts is the main form of com- and writers Union Information J lines and increase the number of J Maintaining pressure to munication on Campus. This year Recruiting Web writers for Bare submissions from Clubs and improve information flow to stu- Each year the majority of the flow has seen the paper go from strength Facts Societies to Bare Facts. dents on placement, on Hazel Farm of information out of the Union falls to strength; I want this to continue. Clubs & Societies Keeping up the momentum for and off-campus with year planners on deaf ears. I would improve this Originally, the paper was staffed Recently, training for Treasurers these courses has the added advan- listing major Union events by: entirely by students. I believe that a J and Presidents of Clubs and tage of informing the Clubs and J Increase circulation of Bare Posting all information on the return to this would benefit both the Societies has been made available Societies what is happening in the Facts in Library, teaching facilities WWW Union and its members, with the J by the Union. Yet this training Union and encourage inter-society and Campusport facilities so that Collating all services and Communications Officer maintain- ignores one of the major problems co-operation. postgraduate students and mature facilities available in the Union into ing overall control. at Surrey - advertising. Surrey’s problems of poster blind- students can easily get hold of a a “bible” of information This move would increase student J Overcoming this obstacle should be ness and information deafness need copy Ensuring all publications from involvement and lighten the burden the job of the Communications to be combated. the Union pass through the of Bare Facts on the Town Relations Officer. I believe that some Clubs Communications Officer, allowing Communications Officer, allowing and Societies would benefit from Off-Site I believe that part of the other Union Officials to concentrate more time to be spent on Union workshops on: Communications Officers role is to on their specialised jobs Information and increasing commu- Communication J Writing for the World Wide act as a public relations liaison nication with those outside Campus. Advertising Web In the position of Professional between the Students, their Union Each student should have the oppor- J Publicising events Placement Officer I am only too and the surrounding community. I At the present time the Union is tunity to be involved with and have J Article writing for events aware of the problems involved aim to increase awareness of student strongly pursuing advertising. I access to Bare Facts. I intend to Courses such as these would be with Union communication. This issues by: want to see this passed on to Clubs accomplish this by: organised for early in the year and was the main reason I began the J Promoting student activities to and Societies for events, increasing J Increasing distribution of Bare run in conjunction with the Skills Professional Placement Web Site. the local community their revenue. Facts Bare Facts is now readily available J Increasing ties with local publi- Vote Tom Sherwen

Proposer: “Spiky” Ben Michie (Silly Night, Final Year Biological Sciences)

Seconder: Nadine Al-Said (Final Year H&C)

Guarantors: Gill Venables (Final Year Music) Andrew “Foggi” Forgham (Rugby 1st XV, Calling Orson, Final Year L.I.S.) Jon Greensmith (Law Society, Final Year L.I.S.) Wendy Bowater (RAG Chair, Second Year Nutrition and Dietetics) Why me? Awareness and Representation

I am a fifth(!) and final year LIS student, The University of Surrey is a multinational, multicultural centre The most obvious part of the Communications Officer’s job is responsibility enjoying my time at the University of for over 8000 students. Good communication between all for the publication of the Union Handbook, the Alternative Prospectus, Surrey far too much to leave just yet. groups, regardless of size, is vital in order to keep every student, Surrey for Beginners, the Industrial Placement Newsletter and, of course, club, society and nationality fairly represented and aware of Bare Facts. what is happening at their university. As President of Unplugged – voted most I am determined to resolve the problems of accessibility that countless active society last semester – and a I see the Communications Officer’s role as having a dual industrial year students have encountered. Keeping all Surrey students devoted member of the Ents Committee purpose. Everyone must have the chance to voice their informed, wherever they are, is my number one priority and Bare Facts I have gained experience in the running feelings and opinions on all matters, ranging from the needs to keep up with the technological advance of the world wide web as of our Students’ Union. I am combining continuing struggle against tuition fees, to financial a communications tool. I also want to develop a closer relationship between this with producing a Yearbook for my hardship or accommodation problems (which I know all Communications and GCR, Guildford Campus Radio, an often neglected department and seeking to improve too well!). source of campus information, so that students are kept up to date with Hazel Farm in any way that I can. activities, ents, match reports, ticket sales, etc! Ah yes, and I’m completing my degree … Whether an issue is small scale, local, national, or global, I will, as Communications Officer, represent you and promote I hope to change Bare Facts from being a paper with space to fill to one the views of Surrey students at every opportunity. And your bursting with news, reports, sports coverage, action photos, ents promotions, I have completed professional placements in voice does count – just look at the recent boycott of Bo’s. travel arrangements, special offers, competitions, outside entertainment, Sweden and France, the latter including the By keeping students aware of the situation and with strong accommodation ads and whatever else you want! production of a handbook and preparing publicity and communication we, the students of Surrey, documents for international conferences, forced the club management to wake up. ...And Finally and am currently living at Hazel Farm. As a result I have experienced some pros and The other side of the job is for me to keep you informed I want the Communications Officer to be a full sabbatical position working at

Communications Officer all too many of the cons of communication about all relevant issues, to report back on progress made, and involved in all aspects of Union life. or the lack of it between the university and and to make you aware and keep you posted on all social students. aspects of Union life, a part of my student years that I value I can make your time at Surrey even better than mine! greatly. Committed to representing everyone’s point of view ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:44 Page 17 (1,1)

NUS annual conference delegates n XI

Jackie Beer Cazza Betteridge Sam Birmingham Wendy Bowater

I am standing as NUS delegate because I think As Campaigns Officer for the WES- I am a candidate who: Last Easter I attended NUS conference that it is really important that our National Union SEX area I have had considerable and so I understand the workings and is independent, dynamic and accountable. dealings with NUS and understand the *Has already attended NUS Conference jargon used. I am standing as a dele- issues that are involved. I have been and understands its workings. gate again as I believe I am in the posi- As Women’s Officer I am already involved in stu- involved in prioritising the motions *Has prepared this Unions submissions to tion to introduce first time delegates to dent politics at a local and national level. I have that are being sent to conference and NUS Conference. the proceedings of conference. I know attended other conferences, understand how they therefore have a real desire and also *Is fully aware of Surrey Students concerns and will the issues at stake, and understand the work and have close links with other Student commitment to see them fulfilled. I voice them where it counts importance of reliable representation Unions. have a particular interest in the Student *Can act as a political independent and still make a for Surrey students. Development and Sport motion and difference. I understand the issues that will be discussed at feel that I have the experience to *Already represents you at very level within the Since May, I have been actively conference and I know many of the candidates ensure that the NUS listens to the University. involved in the Union through my (and their political affiliations); therefore without views of Surrey students. position as Rag Chairperson. More being misled or intimidated by the factions, I will What this means is that I am the right choice if you want to be sure that Surrey makes its presence felt at recently I have been involved with the ensure that our National Union listens to the views CEL consultancy review, by being on of Surrey students. conference. I am the right choice if you want to ensure So, vote Caz Betteridge [1] that the Surrey contingent act as a team and speak on the steering group to improve your for NUS Delegate Union. I want to see a vibrant and inclusive movement the behalf of all Surrey students rather than voicing their own individual opinions. I am the right choice if which is proactive, not reactive. I want to represent the views of the This will be our only chance this year to choose you want to ensure that you send candidates who have more than a superficial understanding of the new stu- students of Surrey at NUS conference, and change the policies that directly affect us and so vote Wendy Bowater [1] for NUS to choose a truly independent National Executive. dent support arrangements and how they will impact on Surrey students. Delegate.

Make sure you make the right choice. So, vote Sam Birmingham [ 1 ] Vote Jackie Beer [1] for NUS Delegate. for NUS delegate Nominated by:Paul Cliff, Hannah Nominated by: Kamran Loqueman, Nominated by: Julia Hamon, Tanya Borsi, Field, Tom Sherwen, Ross Nichol, Nominated by: Sophie Rocks, Mark Pullinger, Fiona Kevin Blain, Mark Stuart, Tania Joanne Austin, Paul Hopkins Tania Rocks, Danny Bryant Warner, Tony Ede, M. Mayers, Jeff Blackham Rocks, Tom Sherwen, Robert Ellis Steve Conlon Andy Gale Laurie Hurman

VOTE STEPHEN CONLON [1] FOR NUS DELEGATE The NUS is our voice at a national level. I am a final year Mech. Eng. student. I have You’ve heard of the three R’s, Through the annual conference, we get the represented the university at both Hockey and NOW vote for the three E’s. chance to shape NUS’s policy for the year, so running, and I am a past president of the it is essential that our conference delegates Mature students association. ENVIRONMENT:- recognise and act on the opinions of Surrey Environmental officer 1996, 1997-8. University Environmental students. My involvement in the Union and the Although I am a member of the Labour party committee. The environment is no.1 priority this year at Postgraduate Association keeps me aware of and a socialist by conviction I am a pragma- Conference.VOTE for the candidate who KNOWS about what the views of a wide range of Surrey students. tist. If I am elected as a delegate to the NUS he’s voting for. conference I will work towards realistic goals NUS conference often gets bogged down by trying to make the voice of students both at EDUCATION:- delegates who enjoy wasting time on internal Surrey and nationally credible in order that Student development through sport is part of the educational squabbling. This dis-unity only weakens the we can expect to be consulted on major issues experience. After the debate on this at Blackpool, I WILL vote NUS’s influence nationally, We at Surrey can and not marginalised. to protect Wednesday sport. set an example to those delegates by focussing on the task in hand - ensuring that the NUS EXPERIENCE:- represents the views of the majority of stu- I attended Conference in 1996 and made a speech there to 1000 dents, and not just those who shout the loudest. + delegates.

Vote for the Only candidate who has made a speech at Earlier this year I represented Surrey students Conference. on a fees demonstration in Southampton. I’d Vote for the Only candidate who has been connected with like the chance to do more, so please vote environmental issues for 3 years at Surrey. Andy Gale [1] for conference delegate. Vote for the Only candidate worth voting for.

VOTE 1 FOR CONLON Nominated by: Jon Greensmith, Rob Alter, Nominated by: Sam Birmingham, Tony Ede, Kate Jones, Victoria Gale, Kristen Larkin, Nominated by: Cazza Betteridge, Cheetah Chhatralia, Sam Sarah Gyles, Tania Rocks, Simon Hart, Nick Nevin Moledina Scheck, Tim Pickop, Richard Nightingale, Graham Meads Antonopoulos ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:44 Page 18 (1,1)

Extra Thursday 12th February 1998 n Chess Puzzle

Question: Black seems to be winning. Can white rescue himself with G5-G6, sacrificng his rook, or can black catch it?

Last week’s answer: last week, their man tried 1] g6, Kxf4 (or is that Kxfy? Stupid game) 2] g7, Ra2+ If now 3Ke1, Rg2. If 3Kf1, Kf3, threatening Rg2 and Ra1. 3Kg1 and the opponent offered a draw. Our man refused and played £-, Ra3! White resigned 4-, Rg3 can’t be prevented, whereupon the a5-pawn will make a run for it. So the answer is no! It doesn’t work. We won the game and the match. Crossword No. 64

Across 6. Dizzy (5) 1. An inhabitant of Spain (6) 7. Furtive (6) 4. Raised platforms (6) 9. Take to pieces (9) 8. A leaf chewed in the East (5) 13. Fancy dress (7) 9. Gradually grow smaller (7) 14. Decorated kind of china (7) 10. Sheds propped against walls (4-3) 15. Minor route (2-4) 11. An Eskimo canoe (5) 16. Forcible restraint (6) 12. Spellbound (9) 18. Machine for turning (5) 17. Parts of eggs (5) 20. More vile (5) 19. Vivid picture (7) 21. Thrust oneself forward (7) Solution to No. 63 22. Waterside plant (5) Across: 1.bemuse 4.acacia 9.despair 23. A slimmer (6) 10.roles 11.ghyll 12.volleys 13.compart- 24. Dried fruit (6) ment18.titanic 20.cacti 22.flood 23.tri- umph 24.senile 25.red-cap Down Down: 1.bodega 2.musty 3.scallop 5.Cyril 1. Talk foolishly (6) 6.colleen 7.assist 8.prevaricate 14.outworn 2. Gratify to the full (7) 15.machine 16.staffs 17.mishap 19.nodal 3. Not illuminated (7) 21.comic 5. Trifling ornament (7) ed980212.qxd 25/11/9822:44Page19(1,1)

Saturday Friday Thursday Wednesday Tuesday Monday Sunday Saturday Friday 21st 20th 19th 18th 17th 16th 15th 14th 13th n

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p r m m s m Savoy (0171 4824808) Redwood Farnborough Tumbledown Dick Dustball, Nought,Breaker 1116) Arcana Laurel Tree Cardinal Fink Reading Alleycat(0118 9561116) Candy Threats,Jerc,Spencer (0118 9561116) The Godfathers,Burt Complex Glamorous Hooligan Everclear Air Liquide Wembley Arena Ocean ColourScene 956 1116) Headcopter Ballroom, Tumbleweed, 1049) London CamdenMonarch(0171916 Snowdogs, RomeoDelight Alleycat (0118 9561116) Shifty DiscoNight Water Rats(01718377269) Hooligan Bedlam AgoGo,Glamorous 607 1818) Lounge Act (0118 9561116) Chineapple Punk High Wasters, TheRiffs, 1331) Shepherds BushEmpire(0171287 Meredith Brooks,Ether Alleycat (0118 9561116) The Commitments Reading Alleycat(0118 9561116) Valentine SpecialwithTurky Castle (01714851773) Release 1525) London BrixtonAcasemy(0171264 Primal Scream,Alabama3 (0171 6071818) The Godfathers Sweetie 1818) Spillage Rivermead Ocean ColourScene (0118 9561116) Glazed Party It isalwaysadvisabletoconfirmwiththe G FTHE OF WEEK UNION YOUR PICK IN - LondonCamdenHQClub IG venue beforetravelling. - ReadingAlleycat(0118 956 odnGarage(01716071818) - London - LondonCamdenHQClub - LondonCamdenDublin - LondonGarage(0171607 - London333Club Agincourt Pitchshifter - LondonKingsCross Guildford, SurreyUniversity Manbreak - - LondonCamdenBarfly - ReadingAlleycat(0118 - LondonGarage(0171 - ReadingAlleycat - LondonCamden G odnGarage - London - LondonIslingtonThe - ReadingAlleycat - ReadingAlleycat - Reading - Reading UIDE - London - Reading - Camberley - London netimnsGie 7 Entertainments Guide - - - - - 13:00, 15:00 The Borrowers 13:30, 16:15 George oftheJungle 13:15, 15:30 Spiceworld: TheMovie 12:10 Picture Perfect 21:40 The FullMonty 18:30 Devil’s advocate 18:45, 22:10 Boogie Nights 17:40, 14:30,16:30 Mortal KombatII-Anhilation 15:05, 19:30,22:00 Up ‘n’Under 12:30, 14:30,16:30 Paws 12:25, 14:50,17:15,19:40 Fairytale 14:30, 16:55,19:20,21:50 In &Out 10:00, 12:15,14:40,17:05,19:35 Flubber 12:10, 12:55,16:00,16:55,20:20,21:00 Titanic Thursday 19Feb1998 From Friday13thFebto 12:10, 14:05 The Borrowers 12:30, 14:35 George oftheJungle 12:10, 14:10 Spiceworld: TheMovie 12:10 Picture Perfect 21:05 The FullMonty 18:05 Devil’s advocate 16:40, 20:00 Boogie Nights 16:15, 18:35,20:55 Mortal KombatII-Anhilation 16:05, 18:25,20:45 Up ‘n’Under 12:05, 14:05,16:05 Paws 11:15, 13:40,16:10,18:35,20:55 Fairytale 14:30, 18:25,20:45 In &Out 11:15, 13:40,16:05,18:40,20:55 Flubber No 11:10 showonSunday 11:10, 14:00,14:55,19:00,19:25 Titanic F S u r i n

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8 Arts Thursday 12th February 1998 n HEADSWIM Dr Russ Replies With Addict, Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms 28-1-98. Interview by Rob Winder ty in some area. For example, how eadswim, tured, just Dear Russ one time the way we good are you at working with fig- Hgrunge have Why do some employ- ures, can you recognise patterns, are wannabes, have changed and you good at reasoning with words, returned in 1998 our percep- ers use tests and what with a new tion of the and so on. The key to doing well is image and a new world has advice can you give me to take full advantage of the prepa- sound. As a pre- changed.” to improve my perfor- ration time. When the instructions lude to their new, What are and now Top 40, Headswim’s mance? are read out, make quite sure you single they plans? understand what you are asked to played a series of “We hope to do. Make the most of this opportu- shows around the tour non Dear Sarah nity to ask questions while you can. country to intro- stop. We go duce their new back to the Once the test starts it is out of the sound to their states for Employers use tests because they question! You’ll have practice fans. more tour- have found that interviews don’t examples to try. Don’t worry about Keyboard player ing in a cou- always provide them with all the Nick Watts ple of holding everyone up if you find talked to Bare weeks, we information they need about a can- these difficult. It is vital you get the Facts after the are just didate. For example, if they want gist of what is required before the soundcheck beginning an up to date measure of how good which the band there, hope- real questions start. Thereafter, try you are at reasoning with numbers, were using as a fully to work - quickly and accurately. rehearsal for ‘Tourniquet’ a test provides a more accurate mea- Some tests start easily and lull you ety of sounds including acoustic gui- their then upcoming TFI Friday will help us cross over to alternative surement than a question during an into a false sense of security. Don’t appearance. tars, string sections and samples, taking radio stations.” interview - however persuasive “Dan and Tom [Glendenning, gui- them away from their grunge roots. ‘Tourniquet’ is out now in the UK, and be fooled! They often get more dif- tarist/vocalist and drummer] are broth- The album was produced by Steve the album ‘Despite Yourself’ will fol- your answer! ficult as the test proceeds and you ers, they used to be in a band at school, Osborne, famed for his work on the low in the spring. realise you don’t have as much time I was drafted in to play with them. Happy Mondays’ ‘Pills, Thrills And A couple of hours later it is time for There are basically two types of They had known Clovis [Taylor, bass] Bellyaches’ and not previously known the gig. First up are Addict who, as you thought. for years and he joined us about five as a “rock” producer. despite being a little too derivative of test. The first sort are designed to years ago at about the time we got a “No, that is why he was attractive to Bush, have some good songs. With a measure different aspects of your Finally, try to stay calm even if you record deal.” us, we wanted to get away from the little more originality in their outlook personality such as your sociability think you’ve done badly. Tests only Headswim released a couple of EPs stereotypical rock thing. We wanted they could really impress. Headswim or your assertiveness. They are not and their debut album ‘Flood’ a three someone who was together with key- follow and are lacklustre to say the form part of the selection process ago. boards and samples and that kind of least. Admittedly the new songs stand usually timed and there are no right and you can aim to improve your “[Flood] was a pretty rocky, guitary thing. My main tool is my sampler, I head and shoulders above the older answers. It is best to answer these overall performance through doing affair. Since then we have had a long played my sisters cello while we were material, I suspect that it wont be long as honestly as you can rather than time off to come up with the new recording and sampled that. We had a before that is all removed from the set, well in other exercises. album. We had written a few songs for string section on some of the album,. the band have truly discovered a rich by trying to give answers which you it already, but we scrapped them all. but I sample that live.” writing vein. However they fail to think the employer wants you to Russ Clark We got a bit lost direction-wise until It seems that Headswim have a sharp deliver, seemingly making little effort give. Careers Service Dan came up with this really good new image for the new album, gone are to impress. Headswim were probably song, just really different to what we the long curled locks and lumberjack holding back before the next days had done before. It forged this new chic, replaced with short hair and London show. That however is no The other kinds of test are timed. sound.” sharper clothes. excuse, in Portsmouth Headswim did They are known as aptitude tests ‘Despite Yourself’, which was released “We have been away three years, so for themselves no favours and let their and are used to measure your abili- in the USA last summer but is due this us it has been a gradual thing. It is fans down. Disappointing. spring in the UK, features a wide vari- nothing deliberate, nothing manufac- A + VITRO Union 8/2/98. Review by Georgina Tarrant and Honey Butcher. he Prodigy versus Nine Inch Nails in a little skater dream, with baggy combats and hooded tops; an accu- Tmulation of guitars, feedback, electronica and heated drums. So stand Vitro, a fourpiece from Southend (hurrah) surrounded by excess equipment and moody liggers. Unusually, the Sunday night band slot housed support and headline, Vitro being the former their set was shorter and less well attended. Shame really because they gave a damn fine performance, bashing through the set with random fits of smiling. We are to presume that they are somewhat short sighted as they cowered over the keyboards and pushed their faces down into their instruments, or maybe it was an instinct to crouch as if on board, like their equipment read “to skateboard is not a crime”. The point of such detail? An effort to convey where they’re coming from. Half punk, half grunge scavenged through skate culture, polished and ready for popular consumption, with enough restraint to remain melodic. A pleasure to watch and vibrate to the bass with. HB

A number of ‘A’ fans excitedly reserved their places on the dance floor in front of the stage and waited patiently for what was to follow. There were some cries to the effect that Vitro weren’t loud enough but this problem was solved by the time ‘A’ came on stage. The moment that ‘A’ were introduced the excitement of the fans reached a crescendo. Everyone started singing and dancing once the music started. The combination of extremely loud music and impressive guitar riffs made you start head banging instinctively. The music was dynamic and infectious throughout. Their new single, ‘Foghorn’, was both catchy and varied in both complexity and tempo. ‘Sing- a-long’ was, as the name implies, a metal singalong. ‘A’ themselves were likable with their casual appearance, impossibly long guitar straps, physical exertions and the lead singer’s uncontrollable jumper sleeves. They added person- a good thing when they have a new album, ‘How Ace Are ality to the performance and left you wanting to hear more - Buildings’, out at the moment. G.T. ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:44 Page 21 (1,1)

n Thursday 12th February 1998 Notices & Personals 9 Personals

nPerdone OJ, pero South 3 North 0! penya no hay enye...) nHey Martin - I’ll have my glass nThe MAFIA BOYZ: you geor- Gorgeous xxx. Not bad Beastie Boy but I’m still nManchester Calling...... medium rare please! gous & sexy babes, Happy nThis week I’ll be mostly eatin slightly ahead!!! nIain. Stop fondling Honey. You nWhat’s wrong with being Valentines Day, luv’n cheese. nItalian/Spainish 25yo male, lt brn know shes excitable!! WELSH!!! it could be worse you nEwan Adams has five. nT - Are your eyes still sore from hair, hazel eyes,150lbs, 5’9 nDobbo the Rabbit, Ya Talkin to could be ENGLISH!!! nOI! HOUSEWIFE! I miss you all circuit training. looking to meet cool/hip me? nHow is my wee little weslh girl loads - hope you all get equal “por- nNewcastle Are the BEST team in people(guys-girls)that are in the nWHAT?..She always looks flus- today?? tions” for Valentine’s Day!! Sxxx the World. Stevenage habit of enjoying life to the max. terd when she comes back up my nSOMS students Happy nOw, I hope this hang over goes by beware!!!!!!!11 nI am a P.A for an insurance stairs?(What U implying?) Valentine’s Day, I love you all, Love Friday....oo gotta puke... nMs Meatcleaver has been co.With a lot of class. nFingers, that could be the Toby Michael xxx nRoses are red, violets are blue, ROBbed nJ is a dodgy woman. Watch out for bitter at Bo’s however. nStephen (K) & Caroline (G) up at you can’t get away girls, I can run nFELICITY...wishing you a her (or is it her?) in her twopiece nB: Will you be my Valentine for Chancellor’s, K.I.S.S.I.N.G. ? Keep faster than you!!(Maybe?!) BONZA BIRTHDAY, Luv 3A/2. late at night!!! the third time? From L. us tuned baby Spice. nWhere’s my nurse? I need some The Boys from St Catharins would nWell, Zaphod’s just zis guy, you nLemcurd - WELCOME HOME nDoes anyone want to come and tender Loving Care!! like to say a big HELLO to all the know... !!!!! Missed you loads. A shoot dingo’s out the back o’ me nIs your tuna web-feet free? sexy... nHurgh? Whose pants are these? nhoneybun, I’m going to buy some yute. I’ve got a camouflage net mate G-”I saw Alison today!”, A-”Did nSo, PRINCESS LEA, whose been Har-dee-har! nyaw, cyawt, shaws! they won’t even see us comin’. you speek to her?”, G-”No, but she tapping on your paps recently? nB - Stuff the weights, you are a nOr maybe it should be “a gallon of n32 Oregano Way room 4...I.D !!! gave me a special wave!” Tru should have five. stick insect! jealous maggots” IBIZA ha ha ha! From you know who!!!! nI’m 5’9 slim ; fit 125 lbs, black nOoohh Jooo....are you sure you nThe personals war must start this nNever kick a man in his nso DOMs are back -but have you couler lenght hair, baby blue eyes, i don’t mean 15 hundred?! Have a week!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shakalakas! grown up yet? love open minded women,sex good one. nCome on now get to your battle nloudest bunch of boys. Especially nRoss no longer a free man!!!!! nThe SHEEP and housie are plan- nthe dance floor?? Lover. stations the WAR must Start. the ones from St Catharines! nAppologies to all those who expe- ning something BIG! nA Trophy - Never.... It’s just a nWho thinks the new men’s footie nAlicia: you are the sunshime of rienced TAZ DEVIL last Weds at be paid. large toothpick! nGENITAL TATTOOS - call Andy Discreet upstate ny affair, no strings my heart. Oliver Bo’s. nCalling all frogs...I say ribbet!! attached, just mutual sexual nEric Savoury Man? nHey Julia, without you I am hugs the 3A BOND GIRLIES. C. BONDAGE DONKEYS - £30 hire nI love you Honey. See you incomplete. You complete me. nSorry mate, almost forgot, can I fit n a night - call Andy C. Saturday Night. Birthday suit nDel Boy, next year will you be a Kev gave two away. me diggery doo in the yute as well? n nThe Mech Eng foundation year nWhen the blobs off your in. millionaire? Little Katie....hope they came in nBloke-”Hi, I’m Wood”, Girl- are gonna hit the union this Friday nWatch out for JW. She’s a two- nSeek out melodious poets if you useful - and weren’t just thrown on ”What! Wood as in Timber?!” night andBuzz, Buzz, Buzz??? piece woman. want to whet your (pink) poetry the floor!! nCome SOMS kick off the person- n nTuesday smiling. Intrigued. nOh...COME ON!!!...Whats the pants again. Gorgeous... what’s wrong with the als WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nLe Grove can you go the distance? mater with the graveyard?(The vic- nOli’s got ginger pubes (on his ladies toilets??... or the bar... or nHas Rob cracked Honey yet? n nRun for your F**king life...He’s ars not up at that time of night !!) face)!!!!! Ammi - Roses R Red, Violets R nKathy, you’re such a slapper...... or lose on the roads!!..No it’s ok, he nS.P. Cari ti am fyth. - T.L.O nAb, cheers for the party!!!!!! Blue, you know the story... Thanx should I call you a BIMBO bought Auto trader!!!! nFUNKSOK - You’re just too nLarge wooden stake for sale. for the second chance - ? -xx nladies that they will meet in the n nFingers, Gwenith wants it. You funky for your soks. I think you’re Originates from Oxford £200ono If Lover - I’ll be your Valentine union on Friday night! can smell it on the wind. cosmic...Always Wookiee !!! interested contact Running Club nLooking for my secret sexual part- nLemcurd - Wot no Spice ? Will nTo Charles, Thankyou for ner in upstate ny area Noddy suffice ? Wednesday night, Happy nHappy Valentine’s Day Jange, nRachel, it’s make up you mind Valentine’s Day, lots of love, Sally thanks for the flowers Love Jange time girlie girl - who will it be xxx Spice xxx ‘John’ or ‘Ken’ ? nMr W, shame you couldn’t keep nWho thinks the new men’s footie nWho else came back from health you behaviour at the HnC ball a lit- tune should be ‘Jealous Guy’? spa commando style? tle quieter! nIBIZA or Malta - tricky one that! nIkaram lets hit the HuT!!!! nColin Griff gets no biff! nBut my birthday’s in june, there nLucy I luv U, Krish nAnyone seen Mr Wayne are no Pantomimes in june! nPrincess Lea - FUN, of course!!! Kerr??????? nwe are looking for the BIGGEST nLoch Heart, you`re a funny guy! nluv you really! SOBs FISH in town!! nDel Boy’s new Guildford super- nAh,ah it`s coming!!l nSPAIN 16 - GREECE 9 ...... store now flogging dodgy ring nNice Bear Frank.....have you sunk VIVA ESPANYA!!!!!(lo siento binders your teeth into it’s neck yet??? Notices

Build your Own Computer! Save hundreds of pounds. Ents Committee seeks new Chairperson Detailed, illustrated manual on floppy disk only £6.50 post The Russian Society is just about to be created!!! You don’t Ents Committee, a lively and friendly meeting open to anyone, free. Order from: IST Software, PO box 46, Penzance. TR17 have to be Russian to join it, but if you are interested in find- will shortly be requiring a new Chairperson. Any motivated 0YF (Send 2 first class stamps for catalogue of exciting PC ing out more about Russian Spirit and Culture or you are just person or persons (working in groups) currently in their first software/CD Roms at bargain prices - games, utilities, educa- simply looking for a new way of entertainment, we are wait- year, would suit. And it would be a great opportunity for any- tional, etc). ing for you!!! Call ext 4711 and ask forAikaterini. one wanting to become more involved in the entertainments side of the Union (still only part-time!) Contact Cerise Fruit & Veg stall in the Union - today includes ceramics & The Arabic society of the university of Surrey announces of Andrews on 567721, or Email da61ca. kitchenware. 10am-3pm the start of Arabic lessons to all nationalities so who ever is interested please email [email protected] or Wind Band AGM 23rd February, 8.30pm University Hall International Week. (Week 8) 9 to 14 March. International [email protected] for registration and details, classes Quiz Night, Exhibition, Gala and Disco all in one week. are to commence next week Ski Club AGM Thursday 26th February, 6pm Grant Mitchell Overseas students societies, get thinking about what you want Room. to do and remember: one representative from each society Survey on Salt Intake. The following numbers have won at must come to Overseas Standing meeting, every Wednesday, the PRIZE DRAW: Number 29 (prize no.1), Number 65 Nightline needs you! If you’ve been involved in the past, 7pm, Grant Mitchell Room in the Students’ Union to get their (prize no.2) and Number 38 (prize no.3). Congratulations! PLEASE let us know your new contact details. Information money and more information. Oh and this year there’s an Please contact Sandrine on extension 4789 evening for anyone interested in joining. Thurs 29th Jan, International Sports Day on Sunday 1st March. For sale: Canon BL-06 photo printer cartridge for BCJ - TB21, 7:30pm. 240. Ext 4216 James B. The Christian Union AGM is happening on 25th February The annual talent contest: weeks 7, 8 & 9. (3rd, 10th & 17th at 6:30pm. Contact ce62ac. Ballroom Dancing is back! Ever fancied trying the Cha-Cha, March). Final is on March 22nd (Sunday). Music, comedy, Rumba or the Tango? Then come along to the Ballroom mime, dance, juggling, poetry - anything you’re good at. Look We are 3 first year students looking for a house for the sec- Dancing Society workshops, Wednesdays 7:30pm in the out for entry forms in the Unplugged pigeon hole. ond year. If anyone can recommend a landlord or particular University Hall. No partner or previous experience is neces- house please contact us at da71pj, or da71ml. thanks! sary, so why not give it a try- you never know you might like Students should remember to park considerately in areas Room available in student house in Woking(near to station). it! around campus. In Alsford Road, some cars are suffering dam- All mod cons - microwave, washing machine etc. Transport We are able to draw on the expertise of a professional teacher age to tyres and mirrors, and in other areas residents are to uni provided! £162.50 pcm + bills. Please ring 01483 and it only costs £1.50 (students) and £2 (non-students) per becoming irate and cannot park outside their houses. Please 720795 session. Dress code: wear what you like! use alternative transport wherever possible. - Sergeant David FOUND in the Launderette, one gold ballpoint pen. Email bs41vs or [email protected] Chave, Surrey Police Contact Bare Facts if it’s yours. ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:45 Page 22 (1,1)

10 Thursday 12th February 1998 n Surrey Students Surrey Victory Flying High over the Hulks of Barking to land on his feet t the end of his to be done, firstly to Sally Eddie, Louisa Phillipson routine. Of our 14 competitors, 5 who’s enthusiasm could organise urrey Mens Water Polo team to blows Mr Pattersons rubbers did will go through to the finals in Bath, the Olympics, and to the various hilst most normal stu- put on a great team perfor- seem to inflate a little. The rougher these are, from the novices, Abbie members of the club and their dents are tucked up in Smance last Thursday at home the game got the more Surrey seem Kaye who was placed 7th, Natalie friends and boyfriends, who were their beds at 9 am on a to Barking. The Barking teams was to extended their lead, which didn’t W Ford who was 10th, our very own also roped in to help out. Thanks made up of several extremely large Sunday morning, a small group of do much good to calm down “posh spice”, Chris Wilks-Green, must also go to Dan Taylor, and the men who (unless you’re Nick surrey students were flying high Barking. who frightened the judges and him- rest of the Campusport and Varsity Buller,) you would not like to get on (ish) down at Campusport as Surrey self into 17th place, and Cathy (Am staff who helped, to Cazza, for her the wrong side of. Unfortunately for university hosted the regional round The game seemed to slow in the I allowed to get p#*sed before I support, and brilliant tea making us we did! It was obvious from the of the British Universities final quarter as Barking realised jump) Fergusen finished a sober skills, to Andy Goring, and the St first whistle that it was going to be a Trampoline Championships. they where beaten and concentrated 19th, but we were disappointed for John’s Ambulance for their medical very physical game and the teams There was an excellent turn out of were very evenly match for the first on beating us. Even Tony Bagnall final year student Antonia Bayliss support, to the Surrey students that students at the competition from all quarter. Surrey gave as good as we managed to score twice, unusually who missed qualification by 0.3. In turned up to watch and supports us over the south of England with 54 got and had managed to pull out a missing the goalkeeper and getting the intermediate Mens, final year and to the judges for drinking novices and 42 intermediate com- slight lead by half time thanks to the ball into the net. The whole team Graham Bird managed to for once Cazza’s tea. petitors 14 of which came from some great goals for Lex and Nick. performed well and we won the point his toes and finished up 3rd, in The whole team will now be prepar- Surrey. After many nervous starts, game an impressive 11 - 4, Man of his highly competitive group of 4 ! ing themselves for the finals in and questions like “does my bum Individual battles where going on the Match goes to Alec for pick a And or intermediate ladies team of Bath, relived that we won’t have to look big in this leotard ?” and “are all over the pool, not least in the fight with the Hulk. But most Lucy Kitcher, Louisa Jones, Jo organise it. If you have been you sure I will be able to do the hole where elbows where flying importantly the Tit of the Match Clark, and Emma O’Donnell fin- inspired, you can contact us via the front somersault ?” the day got everywhere, but what was going on goes to Tony the Bullet for beating ished in 5th place. The highlight of pigeon holes, or by emailing me at underway. under the water looked far more their played to the ball at the start of the day (apparently) was a display ch71lp. All the students did their best, and painful. The longer the game went the second half and then throwing it by myself, and Caroline Smith a by the time we got to the second on the more violent it got, almost straight out of the pool. National A grade performer, that round, the nerves that messed up boiling over when Alec Patterson even enticed our sports officer first round routines were replaced decided to hold there largest player The team celebrated their victory Cazza into doing few seat drops with adrenaline, and we were under the water. The situation was in the usual manner, look out for when no one was looking. pleased to see even Liam (Front calmed and although it didn’t come the yellow balls next FNO. Naturally there are many thank yous somersault to nose) Carey managed ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:45 Page 23 (1,1)

n Thursday 12th February 1998 Sports 11 The Road To Glory With Jolly Gigolo’s USFC Joke Book! Common sense dictates that naviga- Juicy Brucey and Dodgy Dave their respective Championships, the part. tion skills should be found in abun- found their woolly white, four Stiffy Cliffy dance in the Hiking Club. Why legged companions harder to spot in A team through to the semi-final of then was our mini bus, bound for a the weather but managed to survive. ollowing the triumph of the the County Cup and the B’s march- With this in mind, if any of you, weekend in Yorkshire, found going We made it back by light despite the 2nds, good news continued ing on to the second round of the whether you play sport or not, fancy the wrong way round the M25?! No roaming quads, tractors and locals Fback at the Varsity as the B BUSA shield with last weeks hero- watching some really good footie in Maccy D’s to be found so we settled with shot guns! team found out their nearest rivals, ic 3-2 win away at Brunel, the need the coming months to relieve some for a Burger King. Sod’s law really Albury, floundered to a draw at for non-USFC support grows ever of that Exam or Dissertation stress, kicked in when we discovered the That evening a couple of the chaps Golden Arches at the very next cooked a mean chilli that we Woking Park and the A team more desirable. None who attended check out the footie notice board stop! In addition nobody knew the washed down with plenty of booze. learned that not only had the team last years heart-stopping (opposite Snooker room in the code for the radio. Dave the chair- Sleeping bags firmly zipped up all above them dropped points, but the Premiership Title play off victory Union) for details of fixtures and man wasted no time, posing with his night, thank you! Those who didn’t League leaders Railway Old Boys against Border Sports at Fortress kick off times. mobile to contact the Union for the fancy the subsequent bad air and had been thrashed by lowly Varsity, will deny that these end of codes but to no avail! Lamenting washing up hit Leyburn for a crack- Hambledon! As the Club steams on season games are a treat to watch Representing You, In Yellow and the loss of Ashley, who normally ing fart-free meal and booze stop sings for us (yeah right) and with no off! Back at the bunkhouse the to potentially its most successful and serve to intstill a tremendous Blue!! music we had to create out own game continued “…a kangaroo, season, with three teams chasing amount of pride into those taking entertainment: (A variation of a luminous lemon lollipop, monstrous classic) “I went hiking in Yorkshire mountain of mice, pile of nappies, and took an avocado, a banana, a an Orang-utan,…” colander, diced carrot….” In fact Sheep in Trainers Ashley was in Andy’s car and they Sunday was bright and it looked remained in each other’s pockets like we were no longer dogged by the entire trip, however she fre- bad luck, until the bus had a fight quently reiterated that Andy is not with a bridge and lost! Jon her boyfriend! The realisation that informed us the hike for the day We did our best to psyche out the went to Becky- Best position of the Granddad (Andy) would have been would involve waterfall scram- at Uni when Ashley was colouring bling! “Just a little climb” turned Netball 2nds opposition with our new training match, Sarah- Most aggressive in at Primary school may have pro- out to be a scary looking shear rock tops but they went one better and player, Emma- Best 2nd half player, t all started at 7:00am on a cold, voked these frequent outbursts. face complete with gushing water! had their Christian names on their Nice- Best 1st half player, Susan- dark and wet morning and the There would be no turning back for kit (which we think is really sad!). Best goal award and Karen- best netball 2nds were waiting The bunkhouse was homely and those who wished to retain their I The match started well with us snatch award. patiently at the bottom of senate comfy and nestled on the side of a pride, so the only way was up. The equaling their score at 1:1, however After spending only 2hrs at mountain. Dave was heard to com- views were fantastic and the climb steps for the team captain (Becky) they then started playing rugby Aberystwyth it was time to board plain that his bed was too hard – surprisingly easygoing! Tracy even who was still in bed! while we were trying to play anon- the bus again for another 6hrs. what can you expect from a guy managed to answer her mobile on We boarded the bus in anticipation contact sport. By the end of the third There is not much to say about the who drinks Hooch and likes a show- the way: “No mum, I haven’t post- of our match in ABERYSTWYTH quarter the score was 42:6 to them journey home apart from that it was er before a hike. Pansy! The group ed the letter yet, I’m currently up a with a 6-hour journey ahead of us. and we decided enough was opposite to the one coming but with split into two, Jon having made sure mountain!” Our journey consisted of much talk- enough. We went back on court plenty more travel sickness. his group had waterproofs, woolly ing, sleeping, eating and throwing hats etc. before they set off this The hiking club always welcomes determined to leave Wales with a Although we lost 47:11 our goals up with still no alcohol in sight. Our time! The mini bus game continued new members. The next trip will be better score. Unfortunately this did we did get were amazing and we grants were spent before we got to during the walk “…an elephant, a to Dartmoor in week 6, Friday 27th not happen and the final score was believe in quality not quantity any- Wales on bacon sandwiches for frog, giant gorilla, human being, February – Sunday 1st March. 47:11. However we were really how! breakfast costing £3.50 at the igloo, jolly gigolo’s joke book…” pleased with our performance as our Granada Service Station. We saw The snow came down and snow ball We meet every Tuesday lunch time team focused and theirs fell apart. P.S. Everyone is welcome to come fights ensued. We yomped over at 1pm in TB12B. For further info lots of sheep, lots of hills and wind- We were not impressed with their along to netball. We meet every snow covered heather and tried to contact Dave on 01483 576981 or e- ing roads, which was greatly appre- facilities after the match with cold Monday evening at 6:00pm at judge whether the ice would hold. mail [email protected]. ciated by Nicky! The superb driving showers, cold food and no alcohol Campus Sport. by Cooky got us to Aberystwyth insight…still! with no problems, but then due to Player of the match was awarded to Nicky’s map reading we got lost on Clare who had to make do with sip- campus! ping her 7up. Special awards also Campusport A REMINDER! LINE DANCING in the University Hall THURSDAYS at 7.30 p.m. No previous experience necessary Students £1.50 or FREE with a Campusport/Sports & Classes card.

AND DON’T FORGET THE LATINO EVENING Friday 20th February at the Varsity Centre, starting at 7.00 pm Come along - it’s LAMBADA this time with expert instruction from Campusdance. You know the format - a les- son, meal, tequila and disco all for the ‘knock down’ student price of £4.75 (£7.00 for everyone else!) Tickets on sale at the Sports Centre now - don’t leave it too late - they always go fast. ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:45 Page 24 (1,1)

12 Sport Thursday 12th February 1998 n Dickie’s T-Bird’s Blue and column Black Army

English occured when that other brush up on their tackling skills. and the sneaky substitution of a Dickie Saulet “great rugby playing nation” Beth ‘Hoover’ Thomas Claire ‘the cat’ Roberts could have hockey bird onto the field (cheers Sports Editor Scotland beat Ireland. It is not that Eli ‘T-Bird’ Bowley rivalled David Seaman (the greatest Rach you were stormin’) and we we hate the Scottish but merely that, living goalie, no bias there!!) with a were off again. and come on admit it, it is funny t was our first match back after stunning display of goal keeping We really got going in the second Christmas and our first home when they lose. And recently, they acrobatics. half, our supporters were on form Well, another great weekend for fixture of the season, so we have kept us laughing alot. I After about half an hour, we had and we aimed to entertain. English sport in particular. Call me were determined to make it one to managed to draw a crowd. The Eventually our reward came. A cynical but wasn’t this supposed to remember. After the rather late first’s match had been abandoned lovely ball in from the corner by Then on to the cricket. If you could be the start of a new dawn for two arrival of our opposition, we finally (due to only six of the opposition Hannah ‘the groover’ Saunders was win a medal for leading a team con- of our national sports, namely rugby kicked off. The start was a little being left standing) and some of the trapped by Tracey ‘twinkle-toes’ vincingly only to allow them to beat shaky with many of our team hav- and cricket. Well, I have decided to blokes had come to watch the sec- Colmer in a crowded penalty area you at the very last, then I feel that ing trouble putting their kicking dedicate this column to the coaches ond team strut their stuff as well. and blasted into the top right hand we would be world beaters. I know boots into action after such a long The pace of the game picked up to corner of the goal. (Bimbo, talk us of any national rugby team in the that in terms of the test series, we break. The lack of regular matches the rousing chants from the side- thro’ it if you can!) We celebrated World providing that one of them have only just started, but this latest and far too much alcohol over the lines. in style both on the pitch in a vari- can produce a birth certificate that result does not bode well for the rest Christmas hols hadn’t helped either Suddenly, we seemed to know how ety of amusing fashions and later in conclusively shows that Mike Catt of the series. but we soon put all that behind us. to use the wing and we were soon the bar with much alcohol! is not English and can thus never Eli ‘T-Bird’ Bowley (our storming giving their defence some severe Despite even better play after that, play rugby for England again. captain and ‘Bird of the Match’) The saving grace for England harassment in their penalty box. particularly by Penny ‘the crayon’ partnered by fellow stunt defender Ruth ‘the butterfly’ had a beautiful and Rach ‘the ringer’ Colley down should come on Wednesday when Oh what a dream. I do feel that it is Beth ‘Hoover’ Thomas gave a solid game up and down the left wing the right wing, we didn’t manage to they come up against the mighty very charitable of Clive Woodward performance in defence. The oppo- with nice service from Abi ‘nimble’ put another one past them. Chile at Wembley. So I will proba- to pick Catt to play for England. It sition’s forwards were of dubious and Louise ‘the rocket’ Jones in Our enjoyment was slightly marred bly have seen all of you down at the gender / species (did anyone else does give the opposition something midfield. by the attitude of certain members Union on Wednesday to cheer the spot the elephant on the pitch??) to aim for - namely give Catt the Half time came around and we had- of the opposition, oh and the fact boys on. No more false dawns this which gave Lucie ‘Chopper’ n’t managed to put ourselves on the they scored six goals against us ball; or run at Catt. The way that on time please! Caunter and Jane the chance to score sheet. A good half time chat (sorry didn’t we mention that!). Saturday that Catt bounced off the tiny (but admittedly nippy) french On a positive note, congratulations winger reminded me..... of the way to all the University teams who Surrey Victory over the Hulks of Barking he has missed other vital tackles in qualified for the next round of the past. Come on Brian Ashton BUSA. I hope this success is con- surely Catt has an Irish Grandma urrey Mens Water Polo team hole where elbows where flying on beating us. Even Tony Bagnall tinued into the next round and late somewhere. put on a great team perfor- everywhere, but what was going on managed to score twice, unusually on into the competition. Smance last Thursday at home under the water looked far more missing the goalkeeper and getting to Barking. The Barking teams was painful. The longer the game went the ball into the net. The whole team Nightmare number two for the made up of several extremely large on the more violent it got, almost performed well and we won the men who (unless you’re Nick boiling over when Alec Patterson game an impressive 11 - 4, Man of Buller,) you would not like to get on decided to hold there largest player the Match goes to Alec for pick a the wrong side of. Unfortunately for under the water. The situation was fight with the Hulk. But most us we did! It was obvious from the calmed and although it didn’t come importantly the Tit of the Match first whistle that it was going to be a to blows Mr Pattersons rubbers did goes to Tony the Bullet for beating very physical game and the teams seem to inflate a little. The rougher their played to the ball at the start of were very evenly match for the first the game got the more Surrey seem the second half and then throwing it quarter. Surrey gave as good as we to extended their lead, which didn’t straight out of the pool. got and had managed to pull out a do much good to calm down slight lead by half time thanks to Barking. The team celebrated their victory in some great goals for Lex and Nick. the usual manner, look out for the The game seemed to slow in the yellow balls next FNO. Individual battles where going on final quarter as Barking realised all over the pool, not least in the they where beaten and concentrated ....The Results.....The Results....The Results.....Resul

Sporty Thang The Enemy Us Them Sporty Thang The Enemy Us Them FOOTBALL M1 NO GAME HOCKEY W1 READING 1 5 FOOTBALL M2 NO GAME HOCKEY W2 NO GAME FOOTBALL M3 NO GAME NETBALL 1 NO GAME FOOTBALL M4 NO GAME NETBALL 2 NO GAME FOOTBALL W1 NO GAME RUGBY M1 THAMES VALLEY 68 15 BADMINTON M1 UW, NEWPORT 9 0 RUGBY M2 NO GAME BADMINTON M2 GLAMORGAN 9 0 RUGBY W1 KINGS COLLEGE 28 5 BADMINTON W1 WEST OF ENGLAND 8 1 SQUASH M1 HERTFORDSHIRE 5 0 BASKETBALL CARDIFF LOST SQUASH M2 LSE 1 4 FENCING UCL LOST SQUASH W NO GAME GOLF NO GAME VOLLEYBALL M NO GAME HOCKEY M1 NO GAME VOLLEYBALL W PLYMOUTH 3 0 HOCKEY M2 NO GAME TENNIS M NO GAME TENNIS W CANTERBURY 4 1 WHAT A FINE FIRST IN THE ASHTRAY WE HAD!!! CONGRATS TO AM.FOOTY FOR BEATING KENT AND HAVING A GREAT SET OF JUMPING JACKS AT HALF TIME, TO TRAMPOLINE FOR A GREAT DAY AND LETTING ME BOUNCE AND GOOD LUCK TO THOSE STANDING FOR SPORTS OFFICER - DON’T FORGET TO VOTE, LOVE CAZ ed980212.qxd 25/11/98 22:45 Page 25 (1,1)