2018 Guidebook
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2018 Sunday, February 18 to Sunday, February 25, 2018 on Holland America’s Oosterdam NEW FOR 2018 We pay verrrrrry close attention to the More guidance for New Monkeys! feedback we receive after each JoCo Cruise, • We’re planning more special events WELCOME and do our level best to turn that feedback (especially early on in the week) specifi- into an ever-better cruise. 2017 was amazing— cally designed to help new Sea Monkeys our first time sailing from the West Coast, find their metaphorical sea legs, and others and the first time JoCo Cruise occupied an to be New Monkey–friendly. entire ship. While everything went pretty • “Cruise Mom” Thera Heller has assembled Hi, it’s me, Jonathan Coulton. Welcome to JoCo Cruise 2018! great (if we do say so ourselves), we’ve made some of our friendliest veteran cruiser some improvements and additions based on volunteers into a New Monkey RA squad, Do me a favor: close your eyes, and imagine you are on a giant cruise ship exit survey results and general reactions. to answer your questions and to offer filled with fun and amazing people. Some of them are wearing fezzes; there Just a few examples: suggestions on how to get started. are many ukuleles. There is a giant room filled with games that you can play and people who want to play them with you. A bunch of famous people Food, glorious food! Expanded gaming and crafting! • We’re having (limited) seating for breakfast • More games in the Game Library, and more are here specifically so that you will be entertained. Everywhere you look, and lunch daily in the Main Dining Room. guidance for finding and learning new games, you see free food (the pizza is pretty good, but you should have a salad There’ll still be plenty of room for gaming and people to play them with (including our sometimes probably). Now, open your eyes. OMG IT IS STILL HAPPENING! (and crafting). new Cardboard Concierge team). • Expanded vegetarian, vegan and gluten-free • New crafting programming in the Craft Listen “y’all”, this is going to be a really fun week. I’m so glad you’re here. menu options in the Main Dining Room and Room (Deck 3 Midship, near the shops) the Lido Market. organized by Fiona’s Fineries, plus meetups This packet contains a lot of papers with informations on them. (Honestly, and events in other parts of the ship (and • Four words: All. Day. Taco. Bar. (Well, I mostly just show up for the parties, so I don’t know exactly what’s in here: extended hours, anyway.) you can also do standalone crafting in the Game Room) Maps? Schedules? Probably.) Fun will not be hard to come by, but if you More options for late night activities! have questions or need help, you can visit the information desk (Deck 1 by • We’re turning the ship’s new, spacious Wash your hands! the Atrium Bar), talk to a Helper Monkey (anyone wearing a Pink Vest), or • Okay, this one isn’t new. But it’s important as Billboard Onboard bar and lounge area ask one of the many friendly, helpful veteran Sea Monkeys. If you’re new, (on Deck 2 next to the casino) into a fun ever to keeping everyone on the ship healthy. nighttime hangout space. Late night some of these helpful veterans will be reaching out to you to touch base snacking and comfy seating? YES. Plus, So thank you for your thoughtful feedback, and make sure you have all of your questions answered. We call them RAs, we’ve worked with HAL so that at least which is an essential part of how we continue to but don’t worry: they’re not here to confiscate your alcohol. one hot tub is available 24 hours. make JoCo Cruise the greatest event possible. Mostly your job is to relax, and do things that you like to do with people who are great, because you are on the JoCo Cruise now, and that is what we do here. Thank you for bringing your excellent self. I’ll see you in the buffet line! If you use onboard internet, please turn off auto-updating (App Store, —they gobble iTunes, etc.) and auto-backup apps (iCloud, Backblaze, etc.) up bandwidth and slow things down for everyone, including you. JONATHAN COULTON THANK YOU FOR HELPING OUT. 2 JOCO CRUISE CODE OF CONDUCT Be excellent to each other. We expect that every- Don’t use illegal substances or bring them one will treat their fellow Sea Monkeys with kindness onboard. No exceptions. and respect. This is an enthusiastic and supportive com- TABLE OF CONTENTS munity, and we hope it will always to be this way. Invite The ship’s management has the final say. The people into your conversations and activities; be sup- officers and crew of the Oosterdam all want you to portive when your fellow Sea Monkeys try new things; have fun, but they’re also responsible for the safety Deck Plans 5 participate, say hello, help out. Events like these can feel and well-being of every person on board. Don’t hesi- lonely and intimidating when you’re new and don’t know tate to come to us if you need help dealing with an Main Event Grid 7 anybody. Be welcoming, inclusive and friendly! issue, but know that if it involves the ship and its oper- ations, or the health or well-being of passengers and/ Explanation of Red and Gold Teams 9 Don’t harass others. Some things that are not OK: or crew, ultimately we must defer to the Oosterdam any kind of physical, verbal, or psychological abuse; management. New Monkey Orientation 10 threats, intimidation, and bullying; slurs about race, gender, or sexuality; unwanted romantic attention, In general we expect that, as in years past, JoCo Cruisers Theme Days 10 sexual harassment, and generally creepy or stalky will act responsibly and look after one another. But in behavior; and photographing anyone or engaging in the event of a breach of this Code of Conduct, we reserve Gaming and the Game Library 11 physical interactions (hugging, tickling, backrubs, etc.) the right to take action, including (but not limited without consent. If someone asks you to stop doing to) limiting access to events, expulsion without refund, Shadow Cruise 12 something and you keep doing it, that’s harassment. and/or permanent banning from JoCo Cruise events. During the cruise, if you witness behavior contrary Crafting 12 Be excellent to the ship’s staff and anyone to this Code of Conduct, are concerned about another you encounter at a port of call. Bad behavior by JoCo Cruise attendee’s behavior, or feel that you are Quiet Area 12 individuals reflects poorly on our group as a whole, being or have been harassed, contact any Helper Loreto Land Concert and Food Festival and we don’t want to be remembered as the rude Monkey or member of the JoCo Cruise management 13 people who ruined everyone’s cruise. team (Scarface [Drew], Paul, Storm, or Anna). Once Onboard Communications 14 off-ship, please email JoCo Cruise management at I mean, obviously. [email protected]. Don’t steal things. Entertainer Bios 15 Sponsors 31 TO REPORT A CODE OF CONDUCT VIOLATION Onboard Booking for JoCo Cruise 2018 35 CALL 74701 Smoking Policy 35 Gratuities 35 Photo and Video Policy 36 JOCO CRUISE AND ACCESSIBILITY Social Media 36 JoCo Cruise works to ensure that all aspects of our regarding their various accessibility and special needs The Home Away from Home Office 37 event are fully accessible by all attendees. Holland options, including info on accessible staterooms. America Line’s facilities are designed to accommodate During JoCo Cruise, if anyone encounters any issues people with mobility, hearing, and visual disabilities. regarding accessibility, we will work with HAL to You can visit HAL’s website for complete information resolve the issue as quickly as possible. 3 4 DECK 1 DECK 2 DECK 3 DECKDECK 9 9 DECKDECK 10 10 MAIN DECK LOWER PROMENADE PROMENADE LIDOLIDO DECK DECK OBSERVATIONOBSERVATION DECK DECK THE STUFF THAT’S HAPPENING . AND WHERE Main concert Bar Main venues BRIDGE BRIDGE BRIDGE BRIDGE VE7001 VE7001 Live podcast Food Food places VE7003 VE7003 VE7007VE7007 VE7011VE7011 FITNESSFITNESS FITNESSFITNESS VE7015VE7015 CENTERCENTER CENTER CENTER Performance/Reading Gaming Bars VE7019VE7019 VF8002VF8002 VF8001 VF8001 BALCONY CROW’SCROW’S PLEASE ENTER VE7023VE7023 VF8006VF8006MM8004MMMM80080043MM800VF38005 VF8005 NESTNEST MAIN STAGE MAIN STAGE ON MAIN STAGE MAIN STAGE VE7027VE7027 VF8010VF8010MM8008MMMM80080087MM800VF78009 VF8009 Panel/Q&A/Workshop Shadow Cruise Shadow Cruise venues DECK 2 VE7031VE7031 VF8014VF8014MM8012MMMM80180121MM801VF18013 VF8013 W W QUIET M M CAFÉ CAFÉ VD7033VD7033 VE8016VE8016 VE8015 VE8015 M M AREA GREENHOUSEGREENHOUSE THE GREENHOUSETHE GREENHOUSE M M VD7035VD7035 VE8018VE8018 SPA V&E8 SALONSPA017 V&E8 SALON017 SPA & SALONSPA & SALON Shhh... ACCESSIBLE EXPLORATIONS EXPLORATIONS Office Hours Party Pools VD7037VD7037 VE8020 VE8020 VE8019 VE8019 W W ENTRANCES W W W M VD7039VD7039 VE8022VE8022 VE8021 VE8021 AVAILABLE ON VD7041VD7041 VE8024VE8024 VE8023 VE8023 DECKS 1 & 2 VD7043VD7043 E E E E E E E E VE8026VE8026 VE8025 VE8025 ELEVATORSELEVATORS VE8028VE8028E E E ELEVATORSVEE8027ELEVATORSVE8027 E E E E ELEVATORS ELEVATORS ELEVATORS M VE8030 VE8030 VE8029 VE8029 VA8032 VA8032 VA8031 VA8031 VA8034VA8034 VA8033VA8033 HYDRO POOLHYDRO POOL W VA8036VA8036 VA8HYDRO035VA8HYDRO 0POOL35 POOL M W M W SY8038SY8038I-8037 I-8037SY8039SY8039 CASINO ROOM SY8040SY8040I-8041 I-8041SY8043SY8043 ONBOARD SCREENING BILLBOARD I-8045 I-8045 SY8042SY8042 SY8047SY8047 I-8049 I-8049 SY8044SY8044 SY8051SY8051 GALLERY BAR MEETING ROOMS SY8046SY8046 SY8053SY8053 LIDO LIDO SY8048SY8048 SY8055SY8055 POOL POOL LIDO LIDO BASIC SHIPBOARD CRAFT POOL POOL ROOM SY8050SY8050 SY8057SY8057 QUEEN’S LOUNGE & SY8052SY8052 SY8059SY8059 CULINARY SHOPS I-8056