Joco Cruise 2017

Home , Jonathan Coulton, Justin McElroy, Nerf Herder, Rhea Butcher, SF Sketchfest, Welcome to Night Vale

2017

Saturday, March 4 to Saturday, March 11, 2017 on Holland America’s Westerdam WELCOME

Hello and welcome to the JoCo Cruise! As we get underway, I invite you to take a moment to think about what’s happening in the place you usually live when you are not living on a cruise ship. Is it cold and snowy there? Is there a deplorable lack of fruity drinks, hot tubs, and karaoke? Are your co-workers ruefully reading your out-of-office replies and feeling intensely jealous? Probably. Who cares! None of these things are your problem anymore, because you’re here with us.

I won’t lie: it’s no small amount of pressure to feel responsible for your good time this week. Admittedly, the odds are in our favor: we have this giant cruise ship all to ourselves, and an amazing lineup of performers and guests. But the thing that always gives me comfort, when I wake up at 3 a.m. from an anxiety dream involving some rather obvious water imagery, is that the Sea Monkeys are an inspiring community of warm and wonderful people. We work hard all year to put together a cruise that we hope will live up to your energy and enthusiasm. Every year, YOU amaze US. We will do our best to return the favor. Thank you for being here.

— JONATHAN COULTON

2 JOCO CRUISE CODE OF CONDUCT

Be excellent to each other. We expect that every- Don’t steal things. I mean, obviously. one will treat their fellow Sea Monkeys with kindness and respect. This is an enthusiastic and supportive Don’t use illegal substances or bring them TABLE OF CONTENTS community, and we hope it will always to be this way. onboard. No exceptions. Invite people into your conversations and activities; The ship’s management has the final say. The be supportive when your fellow Sea Monkeys try new officers and crew of the Westerdam all want you to Deck Plans 5 things; participate, say hello, help out. There are have fun, but they’re also responsible for the safety always a few people who are on the cruise for the first and well-being of every person on board. Don’t Main Event Grid 7 time, and we all know how lonely these kinds of events hesitate to come to us if you need help dealing with can feel when you don’t know anybody, and you’re an issue, but know that if it involves the ship and Explanation of Red and Gold Teams 9 maybe not so good with the social interaction anyway. its operations, ultimately we must defer to the Be inclusive and friendly! New Monkey Orientation Westerdam’s management. 10 In general we expect that as in years past, JoCo Don’t harass others. We think you know this already, Theme Days 10 but for the record, here are some things that are not Cruisers will act responsibly and look after one another. But in the event of a breach of this Code of OK: any kind of physical, verbal, or psychological Gaming and the Gaming Library 11 abuse; threats, intimidation, and bullying; slurs about Conduct, we reserve the right to take action, including race, gender, or sexuality; unwanted romantic atten- limiting access to events, or outright expulsion Shadow Cruise 12 tion, sexual harassment, and generally creepy or without refund. stalky behavior. If someone asks you to stop doing During the cruise, if you witness behavior contrary Crafting 12 something and you keep doing it, that’s harassment. to this Code of Conduct, are concerned about another Don’t be a jerk, you jerk! JoCo Cruise attendee’s behavior, or feel that you are Quiet Area 12 being or have been harassed, contact any Helper Be excellent to the ship’s staff and anyone Monkey or member of the JoCo Cruise management JoCoachella 13 you encounter at a port of call. Bad behavior team (Scarface [Drew], Paul, Storm, or Anna). by individuals reflects poorly on our group as a whole, Off-ship, please email JoCo Cruise management at Onboard Communications 14 and we don’t want to be remembered as the rude [email protected]. people who ruined everyone’s cruise. Entertainer Bios 15

Sponsors 37

TO REPORT A CODE OF CONDUCT VIOLATION Photo and Video Policy 42 CALL 74500 Worldbuilders Charity Events 43 Gratuities 43

Onboard Booking for JoCoCruise 2018 44

JOCO CRUISE AND ACCESSIBILITY Smoking Policy 44

JoCo Cruise works to ensure that all aspects of our regarding their various accessibility and special needs The Home Away from Home Office 45 event are fully accessible by all attendees. Holland options, including info on accessible staterooms. America Line’s facilities are deigned to accommodate During JoCo Cruise, if anyone encounters any issues people with mobility, hearing, and visual disabilities. regarding accessibility, we will work with HAL to You can visit HAL’s website for complete information resolve the issue as quickly as possible.

3 4 DECK 1 DECK 2 DECK 3 DECKDECK 9 9 DECKDECK 10 10 MAIN DECK LOWER PROMENADE PROMENADE LIDOLIDO DECK DECK OBSERVATIONOBSERVATION DECK DECK THE STUFF THAT’S HAPPENING . . . AND WHERE

Main concert Bar Main venues BRIDGEBRIDGE BRIDGEBRIDGE VE7001VE7001 VE7003VE7003 Live podcast Food Food places VE7007VE7007 VE7011VE7011 FITNESSFITNESS FITNESSFITNESS CENTERCENTER VE7015VE7015 CENTERCENTER Performance/Reading Gaming Bars VE7019VE7019 VF8002VF8002 VF800V1F8001 BALCONY CROW’SCROW’S accessible VE7023VE7023 VF8006VF8006MM800MMMM4 800800MM43 800VF8300V5F8005 NESTNEST VISTA LOUNGE entrances to VISTA LOUNGE VISTA LOUNGE VE7027VE7027 VF8010VF8010MM800MMMM8 800800MM87 800VF8700V9F8009 Panel/Q&A/Workshop Shadow Cruise Shadow Cruise venues VE7031VE7031 VF8014VF8014MM801MMMM2 801801MM21 801VF8101V3F8013 vista lounge W W QUIET VD7033VD7033 VE8016VE8016 VE801V5E8015 M M M M CAFÉ CAFÉ AREA available on GREENHOUSEGREENHOUSE THE GREENHOUSETHE GREENHOUSE M M VD7035VD7035 VE8018VE8018 SPA V&E8 SALONSPA01 V7&E8 SALON017 SPA & SPASALON & SALON Shhh... decks 1 & 2 W W EXPLORATIONS EXPLORATIONS VD7037VD7037 VE802V0E8020 VE801V9E8019 W W Office Hours Party Pools

W M VD7039VD7039 VE8022VE8022 VE802V1E8021 VD7041VD7041 VE8024VE8024 VE802V3E8023 VD7043VD7043 E E E E E E E E VE8026VE8026 VE802V5E8025 ELEVATORSELEVATORS VE8028VE8028E E E ELEVATORSVEE80ELEVATORS2V7E8027 E E E E ELEVATORS ELEVATORS ELEVATORS M VE8030VE8030 VE802V9E8029 VA803VA82 032 VA803V1A8031 STAFF ONLY VA8034VA8034 VA803V3A8033 HYDROHYDRO POOL POOL W VA8036VA8036 VA8HYDRO03V5A8HYDRO POOL035 POOL M W M W SY8038SY8038I-8037I-8037SY8039SY8039 SHOPS CASINO SPORTS I-8041I-8041 BAR SY8040SY8040 SY8043SY8043 I-8045I-8045 SY8042SY8042 SY8047SY8047 I-8049I-8049 SY8044SY8044 SY8051SY8051 NORTHERN LIGHTS MEETING ROOMS DISCO SY8046SY8046 SY8053SY8053 LIDO LIDO SY8048SY8048 SY8055SY8055 POOLPOOL

LIDO LIDO BASIC SHIPBOARD CRAFT POOL POOL ROOM SY8050SY8050 SY8057SY8057 QUEEN’S LOUNGE & SY8052SY8052 SY8059SY8059 CULINARY SHOPS I-8056I-8056 TERMINOLOGY: ARTS CENTER SY8054SY8054 SY8061SY8061 LIDO LIDO SHOPS SY8058SY8058 LIDOSY8063LIDOSY8063 BAR BAR DIVE-INDIVE-INBAR BAR DIVE-INDIVE-IN SY8060SY8060 SY8065SY8065 M SY8062SY8062 SY8067SY8067 BOW or FORE: front of ship

W VA806VA84 064 VA8069VA8069 M W M W VA8066VA8066 VA8071VA8071 M M W W M M W W E E E E E E E E E E E E E E ELEVATORS ELEVATORS ELEVATORS ELEVATORS ELEVATORS E E E E E E AFT: back of ship ELEVATORSELEVATORS SY8073SY8073 SA7073SA7073 SY8068SY8068 THE THE INFO LOFT LOFT DESK OCEAN OCEAN SY8070SY8070 SY8075SY8075 BAR BAR SA7075SA7075 M/W M/W ATRIUM STARBOARD side: right side of ship when facing the bow ATRIUM PINNACLE ATRIUM SY8072SY8072 SY8077SY8077 PINNACLE BAR GRILL SA7077SA7077 CANALETTOCANALETTO CLUB CLUB SY8074SY8074 SY8079SY8079RESTAURANTRESTAURANT HAL HAL CLUB CLUB HAL HAL SA7079SA7079 SY8076SY8076 SY8081SY8081 PORT side: left side of the ship when facing the bow SY8078SY8078 SY8083SY8083 SA7081SA7081 SY8080SY8080 SY8085SY8085 LIDO LIDO LIDO LIDO

MARKET MARKET MARKETMARKET MARKETMARKET SA7083SA7083 SY8082SY8082 LIDO SY8087LIDO SY8087 TENDER: small vessel used to transport people from the

SA7085SA7085 SY8084SY8084 SY8089SY8089 LIDO LIDO

PHOTOS MARKET MARKET SY8086SY8086 SY8091SY8091 ship to shore (think “shuttlecraft”) SA7087SA7087 SY8088SY8088 SY8093SY8093 SY8090SY8090 SY8095SY8095 something you should do frequently, SZ8092SZ8092 SZ8097SZ8097 WASH YOUR HANDS: LOUNGE SC7091SC7091 EXPLORER’S SY8094SY8094 SY8099SY8099 for herd immunity of sorts BOARD SB7093SB7093 VE8096VE8096 VE8101VE8101 ROOM VD7095VD7095 VE8098VE8098 VE8103VE8103 M M M M ELEVATORS W ELEVATORS ELEVATORS W VD7097VD7097 VE8100VE8100 W W VE8105VE8105 W W M VD7099VD7099 VE8102VE8102E E E VE8107E VE8107 W WE E E EM M W W M M a series of purpose-built tables and shelves where VD7101VD7101 VE8104VE8104E E E ELEVATORSVE8109E ELEVATORSVE8109 E E E E BUFFET: M VD7103VD7103 VE810VE816 06 VE811VE811 11 VD7107VD7107 VE810VE818 08 VE811VE813 13 SEA VIEWSEA VIEW a variety of foodstuffs are laid out, by way of providing a VD7111VD7111 VE8110VE8110 VE8115VE8115SEA SEA BAR BAR VD7115VD7115 VF8112VF8112 VF8117VF8117VIEWVIEW BAR BAR self-service meal 8 8 VE7119VE7119 VF8114VF8114 5 VF81215 VF8121 1 1 2 2 LOWER UPPER VE7123VE7123 VF8116VF8116 VF8123VF8123 SEA VIEWSEA VIEW POOLPOOL MM8 1 MM8 1 VE7127VE7127 VF8120VF8120 MM8 1 VF8127MM8 1 VF8127

DINING DINING POOL POOL

ROOM ROOM VE7131VE7131 VF8124VF8124MM812MMMM2 812812MM29 VF81318129SEA VIEW VF8131SEA VIEW VE7135VE7135 VF8128VF8128MM812MMMM6 812813MM63 VF81358133 VF8135 VE7139VE7139 VF8132VF8132MM813MMMM0 813813MM07 VF81398137 VF8139 VE7143VE7143 SB SB SB SB 8140 8140 8147 8147 VC8138 VC8136 VC8138 VC8134 VC8136 VC8141 VC8134 VC8143 VC8141 VC8143 7151 7151 VC8145 VC8145

5 6 7 MAIN EVENT GRID See page 14 to learn how and where to find the complete, updated schedule of events. NOON THEME MIDN 10AM 10PM 11AM 11PM 9AM 4PM 9PM 6PM 8PM 5PM 2PM 3PM 7PM 1PM GOLD TEAM GOLD RED TEAM RED Welcome, New Monkeys! Meet up with old friends. old with up Meet ALL ABOARD! Dinner Dinner Cocktail Reception “Bye, Real World!” Everybody Everybody switch! Saturday, March 4 Prepare for a week Get your bearings. DAY 1:SanDiego Find new friends. Up to you, really. you, to Up VISTA LOUNGE VISTA SAFETY DRILL New Monkey New of awesome. of Or sleeping. Orientation Or gaming! Or chilling! LIDO DECK LIDO More fun! GOLD TEAM GOLD VISTA LOUNGE VISTA LOUNGE VISTA Main Concert Main Concert Main RED TEAM RED GOLD TEAM GOLD RED TEAM RED Shadow cruise events! Dinner Dinner for complete details. See the full schedule Everybody Everybody switch! General slacking! Sunday, March 5 Up to you, really. you, to Up Performances! DAY 2:At Sea Or sleeping. Or gaming! Or chilling! Readings! More fun! Gaming! Panels! GOLD TEAM GOLD VISTA LOUNGE VISTA LOUNGE VISTA Main Concert Main Concert Main RED TEAM RED

Dining Room open dining (Are you starting to sense to starting you (Are Lido Deck food service; You are the boss of you! of boss the You are DAY 3:CaboSanLucas Picnic-stravaganza Moustache Formal SAN LUCAS SAN Monday, March 6 Fancy Fez-Tiara- The JoCo Cruise Cruise JoCo The Up to you, really. you, to Up a pattern here?) “Formal” Night Or sleeping in. Morning stuff! 5pm to 9pm 11am to 7pm to 11am Or sleeping. Or gaming! Or chilling! LIDO DECK LIDO More fun! CABO

You really are getting into the the into getting are You really Loreto Food Festival Food Loreto JOCOACHELLA rythym of this now! this of rythym Tuesday, March 7 11am to overnight to 11am 5pm to 12:30am to 5pm Or sleeping in. DAY 4:Loreto Morning stuff! LORETO U.S. $ONLY U.S. Bring cash Bring begins GOLD TEAM GOLD RED TEAM RED Wednesday, March 8 Dinner Dinner know the nighttime Everybody Everybody switch! overnight to 3pm to overnight drill at this point, point, this at drill You pretty much much You pretty DAY 5:Loreto LORETO Cosplay Day because you are smart. GOLD TEAM GOLD VISTA LOUNGE VISTA LOUNGE VISTA Main Concert Main Concert Main RED TEAM RED DAY 6:At Sea/BahiaMagdalena Dining Room open dining Lido Deck food service; Splines toSplines reticulate! Thursday, March 9 Scenic Cruising in Bahia Magdalena People to see! to People Pajama Party Things to do! to Things Places to go! to Places 5pm to 9pm LIDO DECK LIDO Yeah. GOLD TEAM GOLD VISTA LOUNGE VISTA LOUNGE VISTA Main Concert Main Concert Main RED TEAM RED GOLD TEAM GOLD RED TEAM RED Dinner Dinner Farewell Reception Everybody Everybody switch! Friday, March 10 “Let’s Always “Let’s Stay Friends” DAY 7:At Sea really wanted wanted really Get in all that that all in Get to do today, today, do to it’s back to to back it’s LIDO DECK LIDO tomorrow dry land... stuff you stuff because GOLD TEAM GOLD VISTA LOUNGE VISTA LOUNGE VISTA Main Concert Main Concert Main RED TEAM RED 9AM THEME 10AM 11AM NOON 1PM 2PM 3PM 4PM 5PM 6PM 7PM 8PM 9PM 10PM 11PM MIDN 8 RED TEAM AND GOLD TEAM NEW MONKEY ORIENTATION Because the main theater (Vista Lounge) and We understand, the first day can be a little intimidating. So for our new Sea Monkeys out there, dining room each only fit about half the ship, here’s a way to ease into the process . . . you’ve been divided into two—equal and coop- BUT WHAT IF I LOSE • On Day 1 (Saturday, Mar. 4) at 1:30pm, about general cruise logistics. erative, not rival—teams: Red Team and Gold MY WRISTBAND?!? we’ll hold a 90-minute Orientation in the • You can show up when you wish/are able Team. You’ll receive a silicone wristband indi- JOKE ANSWER: You will be abandoned Vista Lounge for anyone who’s new to the to, and can leave at any time. cating your team—DON’T LOSE THIS—and on an uncharted desert island with the cruise and/or anyone has any questions • Orientation is not mandatory, but recom- teams will apply in the following cases: skipper, a millionaire and his wife, a movie star, the professor, and Mary Ann. They’ve about how the cruise will work. mended for new Sea Monkeys, and is • We’ll give a brief (~10 min.) overview open to everyone. MAIN CONCERTS missed you. of the week and general logistics three • If the Vista Lounge fills up, Orientation Most days, there will be two Main Concerts in ACTUAL ANSWER: Go to the Helper times—once at the start, once halfway will also be simulcast in the Queen’s the Vista Lounge: Monkey Info Desk located in the Atrium on Deck 1 and explain the situation; they through, and once at the end; in between, Lounge (Deck 2 Midship) and on the ship’s • Gold Team = early show will get you sorted out. we’ll answer any questions you may have TV Channel 35. • Red Team = late show EVERYONE WILL SEE ALL THE SAME PERFORMERS. (Resist the FOMO*) OTHER OFFICIAL EVENTS THEME DAYS DINNER All other events on board do not require your Day 1 (Saturday): Day 5 (Wednesday): Most days, there will be two dinner seatings: wristband, and are open to all Sea Monkeys. “Welcome, New Monkeys!” Day Cosplay Day • Red Team = early dinner (5pm) • Seating will be filled on a first-come, Please take some extra time and effort to help Cosplay is encouraged and welcomed (though • Gold Team = late dinner (7:30pm) first-served basis. acclimate our new Sea Monkeys and bring not mandatory) every day of the cruise. But if THREE EXCEPTIONS: • If you arrive at an event and it’s already them into the proverbial fold. Invite new you’re only going to cosplay once, this is the • Monday, March 6 full, there will be schedules posted people to join your game. Introduce yourself day. Go nuts! (we’re in Cabo San Lucas until 7pm throughout the ship so you can find other to a stranger and find out some facts about NOTE: No full face masks or weapons (HAL and then there will be a deck party) events that are JUST AS AWESOME. them. Sit with people you don’t know at regulations). • Tuesday, March 7 • Events held in the Vista Lounge will also dinner. Show them what makes the event so (we’re in Loreto all day) be simulcast on the ship’s TV Channel 35, very special to you. Day 6 (Thursday): in case you miss out on getting a seat but • Thursday, March 9 Pajama Party (there will be a deck party for the 3:30 to REALLY wanna see what happens. Day 3 (Monday): It’s Unofficial Saturday today, and we’re all 6pm Bahia Magdalena scenic cruising) • Our default policy will be to clear rooms “Formal” Night staying in our jammies for a ship-wide sleep- On these nights, dinner is “Open Dining” for after each event (i.e., No Camping) so that Formal wear (defined however you wish to over! “Comfort food” stations (sandwiches, those who still wish to eat in the dining room. the room may be prepared for the next define it) is encouraged (but NOT required) soup, grilled cheese, cereal, mac and cheese, Try to get there in the neighborhood of your event. This policy may be waived at the after 5pm—particularly at the JoCo Cruise etc.) will be set up on board during our 3:30 usual seating if possible (so that the whole discretion of the Helper Monkeys monitor- Fancy Fez-Tiara-Moustache Formal Picnic- to 6pm Scenic Cruising. ship doesn’t all show up at once), but you can ing the door/line management, but only in stravaganza from 6pm to 9pm on the Lido NOTE: Footwear required if you eat dinner in arrive anytime between 5pm and 9pm, and cases where any line for the next event is Deck. Fezzes, tiaras and moustaches encour- the Vista Dining Room on this evening. Fixed Seating table assignments still apply. minimal at the time of room turnaround. aged (but not required). *fear of missing out 9 10 GAMING AND THE GAMING LIBRARY THE SHADOW CRUISE GAME LIBRARY IN THE LOWER VISTA DINING ROOM One of our favorite parts of JoCo Cruise is the way the Sea Monkeys self-organize and create events of their own. This process evolved quickly way back on the first JoCo Cruise, and every The JoCo Cruise Tabletop Game Library is in the Lower Vista Dining Room (Deck 2, Aft), year we offer spaces on the ship for formally scheduling these events, now referred to as the just to the left as you enter (starboard side). It will be available 24/7, and includes many games Shadow Cruise. donated to JoCo Cruise by Our Generous Sponsors. (May Neptune protect them and further The Shadow Cruise has figuratively exploded this year, with nearly 300 HOURS (!) of their good works. Amen.) Shadow Cruise events scheduled. So there’s almost literally never “nothing to do.” Sea Monkeys may also share their own games during the week through the Game Library, You can find the Shadow Cruise schedule in the following places: via a simple “library style” check in/out system, so we can all share with confidence in 2017. • The JCC2017 online schedule: jococruise2017.sched.com Instructions for loaning your game to the Game Library are posted at the Game Library. • Posted throughout the ship (Elevator lobbies on Decks 2, 3, 9 & 10; outside main venues) (It’s super-simple.) • TV Channel 42

Please take care of any game you play as if it were your own. If you abuse your own games, take care of others’ games as if you weren’t a monster. CRAFTING WHERE AND WHEN TO PLAY TABLETOP GAMES Given the rapid increase in crafting activities on the cruise, we’ve established one room as a dedicated Crafting Space. The ship’s Digital Workshop (Deck 3, Forward) is being remade for the week Lower and Upper Vista Dining Room (Decks 2 & 3, Aft) as a spot for crafting activities and supplies (with the generous help of sponsor Fiona’s Fineries). This is the “main” area for gaming. Tables will be available each day until approx. 3pm (when Fiona’s Fineries is also helping coordinate a number of specific classes/sessions during the the dining room staff needs to reset the room for dinner), and again after approx. 11 pm (once week. See the Shadow Cruise Schedule for dates and times. the staff has reset the room after the late dinner seating).. Whether you’re new to crafting, or have already created a functioning starship out of pipe • In general, louder/more “shouty” games upstairs (Upper Vista Dining Room, Deck 3), cleaners and felt, the Crafting Room is the place to share your interests, trade tips, or just hang quieter games downstairs (Lower Vista Dining Room, Deck 2), please. out with other crafters. You can bring your own materials, of course, or avail yourself of the • NOTE: some sections of the Upper Vista Dining Room may be reserved at certain times for variety of tools and materials provided. We ask only that you do not disassemble the chairs and specialty lunches and/or special Gaming Events. tables, or, if you do, to knit new ones. But crafting is portable, so indulge wherever the mood strikes you, and share the joy. Lido Market (Deck 9, Mid) There are plenty of tables (and nearby food!) in the Lido Market. We especially recommend this NOTE: if there is an Official Event or ShadowCruise event scheduled in any given space if you want to game while the ship’s staff clear the dining room after the late dinner space, that event will receive precedence for space. seating and restore it to proper Gaming Configuration™.

Pretty Much Everywhere Else As stated above, we control the whole ship; so anywhere you care to set up and play—except for QUIET AREA the ship’s radar display—go for it! The Explorations Cafe (Deck 10, Forward) is reserved as a quiet space for passengers to be able to sit and “get away from” the bustle of the larger and noisier rooms. We request there be no NOTE: if there is an Official Event or ShadowCruise event scheduled in any given gaming in this area; please stick to quiet activities like reading, puzzles, etc., and be mindful space, that event will receive precedence for space. of your fellow Quiet Room occupants. (Yes, you can still come in and buy coffee and use the Internet stations there. Just please do so reasonably quietly.)

11 12 JOCOACHELLA ONBOARD COMMUNICATIONS

On Tuesday, March 6, we’ll pull into the town IMPORTANT INFORMATION i.e. HOW AM I GOING TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING of Loreto (metaphorically; the ship won’t • Tenders will be running all day and night, ON THERE’S TOO MUCH GOING ON AAAAAAAAH! actually enter the town, that would be prob- though at a reduced schedule during the lematic). Once we do, some cool stuff will non-peak hours (during the concert and So, yeah, there’s a lot of things on the schedule. Relax. It’s cool. You don’t have to do everything. happen in Loreto’s town square (Plaza Civica). overnight). Pick and choose what you want to do—including, at times, nothing at all. What cool stuff? • The municipality will provide transporta- That said, there’s lots of ways for you to stay informed as the week goes along:: tion to the town square for those with 3pm LORETO FOOD FESTIVAL mobility issues. The Loreto Restaurant Association is plan- • This will be a “stand-up” music festival; DAILY NEWSLETTER — HELPER MONKEYS ning a food festival in the square. Tickets will seating will be provided along the sides delivered to your stateroom • Our volunteer Helper Monkeys will be be available for purchase on site that day— and in the back of the town square. There every evening wearing special neon-colored badge U.S. CASH ONLY! will also be a section near the stage • Updated schedule and key information lanyards labeled “HELPER MONKEY”, More complete details will be available reserved for accessible seating. about the next day and can help find answers to any JoCo during the week. • Vegetarian and vegan options have been Cruise question you might have. You can specially requested for the food festival; but DAILY SCHEDULES — also turn to them if you’re concerned about 5pm JOCOACHELLA we do not control the menu. Caveat emptor. posted throughout the ship a Code of Conduct violation or need to Starting at 5pm, we’ll be staging a concert in • Outside the major venues; elevator report a harassment incident. For general Westerdam the town square—large enough for everyone NOTE: bringing any food off the banks of “event” Decks (2, 3, 9 and 10); Westerdam or Holland America-related to hang out together and let loose into the night. into Cabo San Lucas or Loreto is STRICTLY wall-mounted info screens questions, please consult the the ship’s See the Schedule for the full list of performers. PROHIBITED by Mexico law. materials and staff. SHIP TV CHANNEL 42 tenders SELF-ORGANIZE ONLINE SCHEDULE — • As in previous years, easel pads will be set jococruise2017.sched.com up in the Half Moon Meeting Room (Deck • Internet access required. Given the unpre- 3, forward) everyone for “analog” plan dictability of network connectivity while at coordination and announcements (i.e., sea, we discourage relying on this as your “Underwater D&D - Sea View Pool - only info source. Friday 10am; bring goggles”).

HELPER MONKEY INFO DESK — MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS/ PUBLIC ADDRESS Atrium, Deck 1 midship • Daily staffing hours will be posted at desk • For major reminders and announcements throughout the week, JoCo and others will JoCoachella and in daily newsletter tell you directly, via the ship’s PA system.

13 14 CECIL BALDWIN is the narrator of the hit podcast Welcome to Night Vale. An alumnus of the New York Neo- Futurists, he performs in their late-night show Too Much Light Makes The Baby Go Blind, as well as the Drama Desk-nominated The Complete and Condensed Stage Directions of Eugene O’Neill, Vol. 2. Cecil’s acting roles have ranged from The Fool in King Lear, to the voice of Tad Strange in Gravity Falls.

JONATHAN COULTON RHEA BUTCHER is from the Internet. While a struggling music industry fell to is a standup comic, actor and writer whose new pieces over file sharing and shifting business models, he quietly and television series, Take My Wife premiered last independently amassed a small army of techies, nerds, and dedicated August on Seeso. Her debut standup album, superfans. Featured in the New York Times, NPR and slashdot, his songs Butcher, was released then as well. A regular cover an eclectic range of subjects, from zombies and mad scientists to guest on shows such as @Midnight and Conan, marriage and parenthood. In concert he moves fluidly between pathos and host of the popular web series She Said on and ridiculous fun. Seeing your first Coulton show is like walking into Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls Network, Rhea’s brand an insider club meeting, but one that gleefully welcomes and of blue-collar cool has endeared her to audiences indoctrinates you in short order. nationwide. This year, Rhea will have a recurring role on the TruTv series Adam Ruins Everything.

15 16 CARLA CACKOWSKI is an improviser, writer, podcaster, and nap-lover who has toured Europe, Alaska, and the Caribbean CHELSEA CAIN performing comedy with The Second City, and has is the New York Times bestselling author of The done voiceover work on shows for ABC Family, Archie Sheridan/Gretchen Lowell thrillerThe seriesNight Evil At Heart, TBS, and Disney. Carla’s five solo shows were - (Heartsick, Sweetheart, produced in Los Angeles, and her comedic mono Season , Kill You Twice, and Let Me Go), and the Kick logues were published in anthologies by Applause Lannigan series (One Kick, and the upcoming Kick Books. Carla hosts Improv Yak, a podcast about Back). Her Portland-based thrillers, described by improv comedy, and she and husband Craig tour The New York Times as “steamy and perverse,” have with their improv show Orange Tuxedo. Most been published in over 30 languages, and both series recently, Carla has written for sketch shows are in development for television. She is currently on PBS Kids and Dreamworks TV. writing a Mockingbird comic book for Marvel.

JEFFREY CRAIG CRANOR

CACKOWSKI is co-writer with Joseph Fink, of the has been seen on your television as a regular bi-weekly podcast Welcome To Night Vale. cast member on Drunk History, and as Officer Collaborating with his wife, choreographer Jillian Cackowski on Community. Other film and, Sweeney, Jeffrey has also created a number of television roles include appearances on Veep theater projects, most recently Vulture-Wally, at The Mindy Project, and How I Met Your Mother. Incubator Arts Project, and This Could Be It, at In Chicago, he performed with The Second City The Chocolate Factory. Additionally, Jeffrey Mainstage and National Touring Company. writes, performs in, and directs primarily short Craig also co-hosts Craig’s List, a podcast plays for the New York Neo-Futurists and where he makes his wife, Carla, watch their long-running show, Too Much his 100 favorite movies. Light Makes The Baby Go Blind.

17 18 CAMERON DISPARITION ESPOSITO is a composer, producer, and sound designer based is a nationally-touring standup comic, actor and in Brooklyn, New York, and inspired by history, writer who has appeared on NBC, CBS, Comedy geography, travel, the occult, and fiction. His most Central, HBO, and other major cable channels. recent album, Palm in Mirror, was created using Named a Comic to Watch by The New York Times, electronic and acoustic instruments, and fed by Variety, The Guardian, and a host of other major natural and unnatural sources. When used as publications, Cameron’s sophomore album, Same intended, elements of Disparition’s sonic material Sex Symbol debuted at number one on the iTunes may cause disintegration of categorical boundaries. comedy charts. Her debut standup special Seek medical attention for time-space continuum Marriage Material was released in March 2016, distortions lasting more than four days. Some and her television series, Take My Wife, debuted processes are irreversible. in August on Seeso.

THE DOUBLECLICKS MARK are Angela Webber and Aubrey Webber. Since their GAGLIARDI 2011 debut with a weekly YouTube songwriting project, the Portland-based musical duo has carved is best known for his appearances in the out a space in geek and songwriting communities viral sensation and Comedy Central show Drunk with their catchy mix of comedy, geek culture, and a- History and for the role of Croach in The Thrilling message of empowerment. The duo created com Adventure Hour, a monthly stage show and mercials for the games Cards Against Humanity hit podcast. An alumnus of The Second City , have been featured on multiple NPR and Fluxx BoingBoing, Conservatory, Mark toured as a member of programs, and profiled in Nerdist, the revival cast of National Lampoon’s Lemmings . The Huffington Post and other publications. Their He played the villain Savage on Disney XD’s albums, Lasers and Feelings, and President Snakes, I’m In The Band, and has appeared on hit the Billboard charts in comedy. How I Met Your Mother and The League.

19 20 JEAN GRAE is a critically acclaimed lyricist, producer, writer, N. K. JEMISIN director, and cinematographer who has been is an author of speculative fiction short stories challenging artistic boundaries since her 1996 and novels, who lives in Brooklyn, New Yorl. She debut. Grae has worked alongside Mos Def, Talib won the Locus Award for Best First Novel, and Kweli, The Roots, and Pharoahe Monch. Her is a three-time winner of the Romantic Times music weaves imaginative narratives, immersing Reviewer’s Choice Award. Her work has been the listener in a dark world of her design. Grae nominated three times for the Hugo, four times recently made her directorial debut, and founded for the Nebula, twice for the World Fantasy her company, KAGD. With videos for The Hellpit Award, and shortlisted for the Crawford, Faeries, Talib Kweli and herself under her belt, she Gemmell Morningstar, and Tiptree Awards. recently premiered Life With Jeannie, a half-hour Her first six novels, a novella, and a short story sitcom, that she wrote, directed, and stars in. collection are available from Orbit Books.

HRISHIKESH MAUREEN HIRWAY JOHNSON is a musician and composer who makes music as is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of several YA novels, including half of the band Moors, and on his own as The One Suite Scarlett, and The AM Radio. As a composer, Hrishi scored the films 13 Little Blue Envelopes, Our Nixon, which won the Grand Jury award for Name of the Star. She also collaborated with John Best Documentary at the 2013 Seattle International Green and Lauren Myracle on Let It Snow, and Film Festival, and Save the Date, starring Lizzy with Cassandra Clare and Sarah Rees Brennan Caplan and Alison Brie. He is also the creator and on The Bane Chronicles. An Edgar Award and host of the podcasts Song Exploder and The West Andre Norton Award nominee, Maureen was Magazine as one of the Wing Weekly. He studied art and design at Yale named by Time University, and lives in Los Angeles. top 140 people to watch on Twitter.

21 22 ZOË KEATING ERIC JONES is a cellist, composer and one-woman orchestra, is a close-in magician who has performed for using a cello and a foot-controlled laptop to create celebrities including Kanye West, Missy Elliot, intricate, haunting, and compelling music. Her Howie Long, and Dave Matthews, and is consid- albums have reached number one on the iTunes ered among his peers a rising star. His stunning classical charts, and Zoë has also composed music feats of prestidigitation have made him a favorite for ballet, theater, film, and television. As a cellist, at corporate events nationwide, and garnered him Zoë has played and recorded with artists including numerous awards. Eric has appeared at the World Imogen Heap, Amanda Palmer, and Tears for Magic Seminar in Las Vegas, and was showcased Fears. Zoë was named a Young Global Leader at the world famous Magic Castle, and at Monday by the World Economic Forum, chaired by Al Night Magic, the longest-running magic show Gore, and is a trustee of the organization’s in New York City. Future of the Internet Initiative.

JACKIE KASHIAN does standup that is like listening to a really racy JARED KOPF episode of All Things Considered. Her standup is a Magic Magazine-acclaimed magician, sleight- special, This Will Make an Excellent Horcrux, was of-hand master, and mind-reader whose unique one of the top five comedy specials of 2014 on approach to the art of legerdemain has bewildered audiences not only across the continent, but vulture.com. Jackie has appeared on The Conan itself. With only his @midnight, Netflix’s Lady Dynamite O’Brien Show, across the bounds of time and IFC’s Maron. For more than a decade, Jackie mind and hands, and occasionally somecards, everyday to dice; has hosted The Dork Forest, which has logged objects—anything from playing more than three million downloads. She currency to coffee cups; phonebooks to lemons— also co-hosts The Jackie and Laurie Show Jared baffles, amuses, delights and mystifies even podcast on the Nerdist Network. the most skeptical observer.

23 24 MARY ROBINETTE KOWAL MOLLY LEWIS is the author of The Glamourist Histories, a series is known for her quirky songs and insatiable of fantasy novels, and the recipient of the Campbell desire to woo the Internet and has also been Award for Best New Writer, three Hugo awards, known to slam revolving doors. Notorious for and the RT Reviews award for Best Fantasy Novel. playing covers of her own songs, Molly had a Mary is also a professional puppeteer and voice breakout year in 2009, when she released actor, and has performed in LazyTown on CBS, the I Made You a CD, But I Eated It, and made her Center for Puppetry Arts, and Jim Henson Pictures. first appearances at W00tstock and PAX Prime. Her designs have won two UNIMA-USA Citations of As a songwriter, she focuses mostly on Mr. T and Excellence. She lives in Chicago with her husband female reproduction. Molly’s bio may require and more than a dozen manual typewriters. cleanup to meet Wikipedia’s quality standards.

TED LEO

has been one of the most progressive forces in HAL LUBLIN East Coast independent music since the early is co-host of the podcasts We Got This with Mark ‘90s, combining punk, folk, soul, hardcore and and Hal, and Tights and Fights. He is an accom- experimental styles. A veteran of Citizen’s Arrest plished actor and improviser, best known for his and Animal Crackers, Leo founded and fronted work as one of the core WorkJuice Players in The Chisel, one of the first mod/punk revival bands to Thrilling Adventure Hour, and as Steve Carlsberg gain nationwide renown. Song-writing, producing, on Welcome to Night Vale. Hal plays multiple recording, and performing with multiple bands in characters on the animated series The Venture the years that followed, Leo joined forces with Brothers and Mighty Magiswords. A veteran of Aimee Mann in 2014 to form The Both. The duo The Second City, The Groundlings, and IO West, released their eponymous debut record in Hal has been improvising and performing April of that year. sketch comedy for more than 20 years.

25 26 DR. SYDNEE McELROY AIMEE MANN is an Assistant Professor at the Marshall is a singer-songwriter and as fine a chronicler University School of Medicine and family physician, of the human comedy and painful break-ups and shares her professional insights and arcane as popular music has produced. Aimee was medical knowledge as co-host of Sawbones: A nominated for an Academy Award for Best Song Marital Tour of Misguided Medicine, discussing for “Save Me” from the film Magnolia. After her with husband Justin McElroy all the weird, wrong, New Wave band ’Til Tuesday broke up, Aimee dumb and just gross ways doctors have tried to fix launched her solo career and released her first people. Sydnee also co-hosts Still Buffering: A album, Whatever, in 1997. Her ninth album, Sisters’ Guide to Teens Through the Ages, bridging Mental Illness, will be released in March 2017 the gap between teenagers of yesterday (aka on SuperEgo Records. parents) and today.

APARNA cELROY JUSTIN M NANCHERLA hosts and co-hosts numerous podcasts, including is a comedian of the standup persuasion, but is the modern advicecast My Brother, My Brother no stranger to sitting, most recently around the and Me, fielding questions about life’s big issues writers’ table at Late Night with Seth Meyers.

with brothers Travis and Griffin. With wife, Dr. Sitting, and standing, she can alsoLove be seen. A favorite on the Sydnee McElroy, he co-hosts the medical history series Inside Amy Schumer and podcast Sawbones, and on his own hosts the RPG on the comedy festival circuit, Aparna’s dry, show The Adventure Zone. In addition, he writes observational humor has earned her appearances and makes videos for the gaming site Polygon, on shows ranging from Totally Biased with W. available on the YouTube series Monster Factory, Kamau Bell and WTF with Marc Maron, to Conan Things I Bought at Sheetz and Quality Control. and Last Comic Standing. She was named one of He’s also a renowned hugger. Marie Claire‘s Funniest Women of 2015.

27 28 PAUL AND NERF HERDER STORM are pioneers of the Pop-Punk and Geek Rock are Paul Sabourin and Greg “Storm” DiCostanzo. movements, and are perhaps best known for Their music has appeared on virtually every known their driving theme to the iconic show, Buffy The medium, including parchment, with the a cappella Vampire Slayer. Soon after their ironic tribute band Da Vinci’s Notebook. The duo co-founded and “Van Halen” stormed the charts, Nerf Herder was produce the storied nerd variety show w00tstock, signed to Arista Records. Several world tours and which has toured theaters nationwide since 2009. record labels later, they released their fifth album, LearningTown, their ten-episode series, on Felicia Rockingham, an explosion of geekness with songs Day’s Geek & Sundry YouTube channel, featured like “At The Con,” “Ghostbusters III,” and “I’m ten original songs, and welcomed guests including The Droid (You’re Looking For),” which was “Weird Al” Yankovic and Maurissa Tancharoen, composed entirely of lines from Star Wars co-creator of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog. The and recorded at Skywalker Ranch. duo recently released their fifth album, Ball Pit.

TAWNY MIKE PISCIOTTA NEWSOME is known as the world’s greatest magician is a sketch and improv comedian, who’s been and a supreme practitioner of hyperbole, and mainly writing and performing her work on the is an award-winning comedian, performer and bar Second City Mainstage in Chicago, as well as with magician based in Los Angeles, California. Named the Second City National Touring Company. the 2015 Close-up Magician of the Year by The You can currently see her as Chelsea Leight-Leigh Academy of Magical Arts, Mike is a favorite of in the Seeso Original series Bajillion Dollar celebrity and corporate clients, and serves— Propertie$ and this year you will see her in a literally and figuratively—as the only resident regular role on the new BET series The Comedy bar magician for the Academy of Magical Arts at the world famous Magic Castle Get Down. Her solo album Too Proud to Steal is in Hollywood, California. available on iTunes, Spotify and bandcamp.

29 30 DAVID REES is a cartoonist, humorist and cultural critic, whose RIZ ROLLINS - career has careened between various disciplines. —just Riz to his friends; Mr. Rollins, sir! to every He most recently hosted Going Deep With David one else—is a writer and dj who has been a force Rees, a title he claims was entirely coincidental, in the Seattle music landscape for almost thirty but which he took as an omen that he should at years, hosting a variety and electronica show on least be involved. The show, on the National 90.3 FM. A stalwart in both the club and event Geographic Channel, investigated the science and scene, he has played alongside artists as diverse process behind basic tasks such as making ice, as Nirvana, James Brown, Die Antwoord, and lighting matches and the tying of shoelaces, and Funkadelic. Proficient with styles ranging from was a natural followup to Rees’ seminal work, disco to hip hop, and r&b to gospel, he regrets How To Sharpen Pencils. He doesn’t know what that he won’t be slugging his vinyl on this trip, he’s doing with his life. but maybe he’ll invite you over for tea.

PATRICK ROTHFUSS JOHN RODERICK was deprived of television as a child, so he read is the songwriter and singer/guitarist of The Long extensively and wrote terrible short stories and Winters, forming the band from a mound of clay in poetry to teach himself what not to do. The tactic 2001. Acclaimed as one of America’s preeminent paid off, and his first novel, The Name of the Wind , artists, and credited with resurrecting Seattle’s published in 2007, won the Quill Award and moribund music scene and injecting new life to made the New York Times Bestseller List. The the rock genre, John also writes his own bios. Adventures of the Princess and Mr. Whiffle— His unparalleled ability to play any musical a children’s book for adults—followed in 2010. instrument has made it nearly impossible for any Wise Man’s Fear was published 2011, and other musicians to find work in Washington State, reached number one on the New York Times and he would be reviled among his peers, if he had Bestseller List. He’s currently working on the final book in the series. any. He cites modesty as his greatest strength.

31 32 SYMPHONY GAIL SIMONE is a critically acclaimed writer for comicsDeadpool and, SANDERS animation, including Birds of Prey, is a Chicago based actor, personal trainer, Batgirl, and Secret Six, as well as her own projects, zumba instructor/freak, handstanding fool and Leaving Megalopolis and Clean Room. Her anima- fit party chick. She portrays Tamika Flynn on the tion credits include Justice League Unlimited and popular podcast Welcome to Night Vale. According the Wonder Woman film. One of the most influential to Wikipedia, symphonies are “scored for string women in the comic book industry, Gail is a (violin, viola, cello and double bass), brass, wood- - prominent activist for diversity in comics. Her wind, and percussion instruments, which alto blog, Women In Refrigerators, is noted for raising gether number 30 to 100 musicians.” Symphony awareness of the representation of women in the Sanders, however, does it all herself. medium, and the danger of large appliances.

JOHN SCALZI REBECCA SUGAR is a New York Times bestselling and Hugo- is the creator of Cartoon Network Studios’ Emmy- winning author whose novels include Old Man’s nominated animated series Steven Universe. After War , Redshirts, and Lock In, all of which are earning a BFA in animation, Rebecca began her currently under development for television. He’s career as a storyboard artist and writer on also written several non-fiction books, including Adventure Time, and the first episode she boarded, The Rough Guide to the Universe and Your Hate “It Came From the Nightosphere,” was nominated Mail Will Be Graded, and wrote the video game for an Emmy. A song Rebecca wrote for the Midnight Star. Still, his greatest achievements episode, the earworm-worthy “Daddy, Why Did were being covered in frosting by roller derby You Eat My Fries?” quickly became a fan favorite. players on Neil Gaiman’s lawn, and causing an Rebecca was nominated for an Annie Award Internet sensation by taping bacon to his cat. (ASIFA) for her storyboards on the Adventure Time season 2 finale “Mortal Folly.” Seriously, what’s going on with this guy, anyway?

33 34 MAX TEMKIN is a designer from Chicago, Illinois. His clients include Barack Obama, the Electronic Frontier Foundation, and, most notably, the JoCo Cruise. He is best known as the co-creator of Cards Humans vs. Zombies, and Against Humanity, Secret Hitler. Max holds a degree in the Art of the WIL WHEATON Cart from Vienna Beef’s Hot Dog University, and has been an actor since childhood, and is was named one of Forbes Magazine’s “30 under best known for his role as Wesley Crusher in 30”, getting in just under the wire at age 29. the hit television series Star Trek: The Next Generation. He is also the creator, producer and host of the webseries Tabletop. A voice actor, author, and popular blogger, Wil is a champion of geek culture. In 2009 Forbes named him the 14th most influential web celebrity. This is all amusing to Wil. JANET VARNEY is a comedian, actor, writer and producer. She is the voice of Korra on Nickelodeon’s The Legend of Korra, and she plays Becca on the live-action FX series You’re The Worst. On television, she has made guest appearances in hit shows including How I Met Your Mother, Key and Peele, and has appeared in the films such as Still Waiting, and Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer. She is also co-founder, creative director and producer of the acclaimed SF Sketchfest, now in its 15th year.

35 36 THANK YOU to our legendary, nimble How to Play: Divide a poker deck into two decks, one all-red and one all-black. Shuffle each deck separately. and visionary sponsors Everyone pays an ante of one coin. Then, everyone draws a face-down hand of one card from each deck. Simultaneously, who are important to every player chooses and reveals one of their two cards. The player who is showing the lowest upcard may either force a showdown, or fold. Aces are low. Use suit to break ties for low: Clubs are lowest, then Diamonds, Hearts, Spades. If a player folds, the player with next lowest card has the same option, and so on. You cannot drop out of the game until you are showing the lowest upcard. In a showdown, all cards are revealed. The player with the highest black card wins, and all the losers (those who did as we continue to not fold) must pay a number of coins equal to the value of their red card. Aces are worth 1 coin, and all face cards are worth 10. The winner collects the forfeits and the antes. build out more, and more Play for several rounds, preferably while drinking.

complex programming. Do you like games? So do we! For a bunch more great free games, please visit us at cheapass.com MAKE MORE FOR LESS

The highest quality yarns for the lowest prices, guaranteed.

Shop for knit & crochet tools, patterns, yarn, and accessories. NEW for 2017: MYSTERY BREWING BEER www.KnitPicKs.com will be available for sale throughout the ship. See the bar drink menus for details. PHOTO AND VIDEO POLICY JoCo Cruise imposes no restrictions on where and when its cruisers may capture light photons and audio waves, and generally encourages you to do so, as well as share those images and recordings with others (including over social media). JoCo Cruise operates under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Sharealike license. That said, four things: • At times, Holland America’s photo and video policies may be different from JoCo Cruise’s. If there’s a conflict, we must and will defer to the Westerdam’s policy. • Please be mindful and respectful of others when recording, and respect the JoCo Cruise Code of Conduct at all times. Please don’t block someone else’s view with your gear or self; and ask permission before photographing or recording someone. Not everyone may wish to be photographed/filmed. Cosplay is not consent. • Some performers may request their performances not be recorded, or that they may be recorded but not publicly reposted. In such cases we ask that everyone respect those requests. We’ll do our best to get word out in advance regarding performers’ preferences. • In addition to the ship’s photographers, you’ll likely encounter the ShutterMonkeys taking pictures throughout the week. Their primary mission is to document the cruise for the Digital Photobook we’ll be distributing for free after the cruise, and for JoCo Cruise’s general documentary and promotional purposes, but if for any reason you don’t want to be photographed by them, it’s cool—just let them know.

SHARE THE LOVE /BRAG A LITTLE

Whether on the ship, or on land, we encourage you to use social media to show the world how much fun you’re having while they slog around in the snow, stare at the beige walls of their cubicle, and generally face the bleak reality of not being you. Please use the hashtag #JoCoCruise when sharing JoCo pictures on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter so other Sea Monkeys (and the Sea Monkey-curious) can check out your glorious 2017 adventures. And Follow and Like to stay connected!

42 WORLDBUILDERS ONBOARD BOOKING CHARITY EVENTS FOR JOCO CRUISE 2018

Worldbuilders is a charity founded by author Patrick Rothfuss in order to harness the collective As you’ve no doubt already heard, we have big plans for 2018, and would love for you to be part power of readers, fellow authors, book lovers, gamers, and geeks of all creeds. Worldbuilders of it. If you haven’t already signed up, you can book at jococruise.com from any Internet-enabled raises money for charities they believe do the best work in their field, like Heifer International, device, or via the Internet computers in the Explorations Cafe. Mercy Corps, and First Book—charities working to do long-term, sustainable good all across the globe. Additionally, there will be a laptop at the Helper Monkey Info Desk (in the Atrium on Deck 1, midship) dedicated solely to JCC2018 booking, available whenever the Info Desk is staffed. SILENT AUCTION GAMING FUNDRAISER The Worldbuilders Silent Auction features a Spend a fun evening of exclusive gaming with To recap the basics: number of geeky goods from Worldbuilders Pat Rothfuss and other celebrity participants HQ, as well as items from performers and on Monday, March 6th from 9:30 to 11pm in the • February 18-25, 2018 aboard Holland America Line’s Oosterdam guests aboard JCC2017. Be sure to check Upper Vista Dining Room. • Sailing from San Diego, final itinerary TBD (will not be the same exact itinerary as 2017!) out the Worldbuilders Silent Auction in the Admission for this exclusive event is $25 per • We will once again have the whole ship Explorer’s Lounge (Deck 2, aft) on Thursday, person; all proceeds will benefit Worldbuilders. March 9 from 10am to 4:30pm! A sign-up sheet will be available at the Helper For more info about JCC2018, come by the Management Q&A on Wednesday, March 8, from Monkey Info Desk in the Atrium on Deck 1. 2:30 to 4pm in the Vista Lounge. Attendance is strictly limited, so don’t delay!

GRATUITIES SMOKING POLICY

Just a reminder that your shipboard gratuities have been prepaid as part of your • The smoking of tobacco products (cigarettes, cigars and pipes), e-cigarettes and JoCo Cruise fare. If you find that you’ve been billed for gratuities, call or visit the vaping is only permitted in the following designated public smoking areas onboard: ship’s Guest Services desk in the Atrium on Deck 1. That said, you should of course Sea View Bar area (Deck 9, aft), starboard side only feel free to give additional amounts to any Westerdam staff member(s) you feel Deck 10, forward, starboard side, area outside doors near the Explorations Café entrance helped make your experience extra special, or if you just enjoy tippin’! • The smoking of tobacco products is not permitted in any other public areas, on any Please also note that beverages purchased individually onboard (i.e., if you haven’t stateroom verandah or inside any staterooms. purchased a drinks package) will have a gratuity added to them automatically; this • The smoking of e-cigarettes and vaping are not permitted in any other public areas or is not part of your pre-paid gratuity. on any stateroom verandah, but are permitted inside staterooms.

43 44 THE HOME AWAY FROM HOME OFFICE There are many other people who make significant contributions to making JoCo Cruise a fun and memorable time (most especially the Helper Monkeys), but these are the people who are primarily responsible for this one-ship armada . . .

JONATHAN COULTON JARED HANKINS CEO and Ringleader Main Stage Production Manager / The Guy Who Is Making Everything Sound Great PAUL SABOURIN COE (Chief of Events) and SARA SCRIMSHAW School Principal Stage Manager and Lead Scrimshaw (look it up; it’s a real job) STORM DiCOSTANZO CFO and Coach Cruise DANIELLE DAVIS On-Site Relations / Special Ops Commando DREW WESTPHAL, aka SCARFACE COO/CTO and Harried Man KIM EVEY Sponsor Relations / Arch-Conjurer ANNA, aka SCARFACE II Office Manager and Hoopy Frood GREG BENSON Host with Most BOB GORSKI, aka rhaje Volunteer Coordinator and KEITH BAKER & JENN ELLIS Chaotic Neutral Gopher Librarios laudis JoCo Cruise 2017 is dedicated to the memory of THERA HELLER STEVE PETRUCELLI Cruise Mom and Organizational Ninja ShutterMonkey Prime our dear friend and colleague LOOKOUT NOW! CHRISTIAN SZATKOWSKI Leon Banossian. JOSH MERIDITH Merchin’ Marine Shadow Tech and Emereffing Sorcerer THE OVERQUALIFIED JOCO CRUISE “INTERNS” DIANA BLOSS Jon Brunette, Alice Buttrick, Ryan Dailey, The Velvet Hammer Fabio Dallorto, Julia Gelbort, Nathaniel Granor, Christian Griffin, Derek Guder, MARK BRASEL Milly Nantongo Little, Nathan Little, Drew Head of General Sound Tech Operations / O’Donnell, Dana Packley, Joel Pattison, Sonic Yoda Anaelle Steiner, Brona Waldron, Kelsey Westphal, and the Mysterious Intern X.