I Think I Have Deathgrip.. Looking for Advice.. 23 Upvotes | 24 December, 2018 | by Joeboard

I think I have deathgrip.. looking for advice.. 23 upvotes | 24 December, 2018 | by Joeboard

Okay, im gonna be completely honest here and I am looking for some real solid advice.. I havnt had sex in a couple of years, about 3 years. Started seeing this girl, and had sex Saturday. I can get hard and stay hard for awhile, but I cannot bust. We fucked for a solid 40 minutes, and eventually gave up. I originally chalked it up to being nervous.. after she left, i had blue balls like a mofo and tried to jerk off, couldnt bust (but my dick was a little sore from fucking for so long). Sunday rolls around, i have to work and I have blue balls all day long. I figure I could forsure cum, hit her up she comes over and SAME SHIT. I stayed hard, she enjoys herself forsure but I can tell she feels some type of way about me not getting off. This time i was able to jerk off afterwards and cum finally, but thats when I came across this deathgrip shit online.. Ive been jerkin off for the last 3 years.. i use a lube, but a tight grip.. how could I fucking prefer my god damn hand over a beautiful girl? I need some real advice here guys. First time we used a condom, second time I went raw and not much of a difference. I wont see her again until next weekend, i plan on doing the nofap shit, but im reading horror stories of this taking months to cure. Has anyone been through this? What has helped you..? Edit: I also wanna mention this has NEVER happened to me before. Yes, its been awhile since ive last had sex, but ive always been able to get off (unless im drunk). Im definitely attracted to this girl too, its not her, its definitely me.

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MyRedditAccountSSV • 24 points • 24 December, 2018 05:12 PM Had that problem with an old LTR because I deathgripped before meeting her. Don’t touch your dick and it’ll eventually pass. That’s all there is to it. Although, it depends on how bad your deathgripping is to determine how long it takes. I can for example only cum from one position where she naturally tightens, however if I’m going raw with a naturally tight pussy I might cum from other positions.

Joeboard[S] • 3 points • 24 December, 2018 05:27 PM Which position? Fuckin her from behind was probably the closest I got last night. So your saying you still have effects from the deathgrip to this day?

teeekuuu • 7 points • 24 December, 2018 05:36 PM Take her from behind and pull her hair hard, always works for me when we’re doing round 3 or sth

Joeboard[S] • 2 points • 24 December, 2018 05:45 PM That's basically what I was doing man.. this sucks..

teeekuuu • 3 points • 24 December, 2018 06:02 PM Keep your head up and follow the nofap advice, this too shall pass

MyRedditAccountSSV • 7 points • 24 December, 2018 05:58 PM She lies on her stomach with legs together and I lie on top of her. Yep, that’s what I’m saying. Sex is awesome nonetheless and I get to decide when I want to cum. I can go for an hour session if I want to and I can also do a quickie in 30 seconds. Just lazy dog position.

Joeboard[S] • 1 point • 24 December, 2018 06:18 PM That's the exact position I was talking about when fucking her from behind.. im not gonna touch my dick all week and we'll see what happens this weekend.

itiswr1tten • 3 points • 24 December, 2018 06:51 PM Yeah I hate the nofap crusaders but this is literally the answer. Just be straight with the girl if you're funny enough to pull it off, "don't worry baby you're fine as hell...just been getting too busy with myself thinking about you."

Dreams_of_Conquest • 1 point • 24 December, 2018 11:19 PM its gonna take more than a week my friend, mine was not as bad as yours and after 3 months of nofap I am only now getting to normal

cirrusice • 15 points • 24 December, 2018 05:27 PM Do NoFap. Problem solved.

jackandjill22 • 2 points • 25 December, 2018 02:33 AM www.TheRedArchive.com Page 2 of 6 Damn, didn't know this was a real thing.

Joeboard[S] • 0 points • 24 December, 2018 05:35 PM Yeah, I mean thats the obvious answer.. Idk, its not like im some furious dry rubber, jerkin till my dick is bleeding. I use lube, im not really into super kinky porn that i NEED to see to get off.. i thought 100% i was gonna be a two pump chump. I can tell she is bummed out over this. Im pretty certain she is getting off.. I reassured her its not her, and told her its been awhile since I had sex last. I dont want her thinking im not attracted to her.

throwawayDutch321 • 1 point • 24 December, 2018 06:50 PM

Im pretty certain she is getting off..

You should be 100% sure. If you're getting her off and making her happy it really doesn't matter too much if you can't finish yourself occasionally. Talking from experience, it takes a while to fix. If I don't masturbate for 2-3 weeks and have sex I can usually come. For me it usually takes a while to find that perfect position and it's not the same every time. Sometimes it doesn't happen and I just assure her that it's not her fault. Yea it's frustrating but if I made her come from eating her out, intercourse or whatever it's not a big deal.

PIGamer86 • 11 points • 24 December, 2018 05:36 PM Stop jacking off. Get out of your head and don’t overthink it. Don’t dwell on it.

RPinthemaking • 7 points • 24 December, 2018 07:18 PM Lmfao I went through the same thing. First time I fucked a girl after having spent years jerking off my god, we must have done it for hours. She ended up getting upset because she figured I’d though she was ugly. I actually kind of liked it because I was able to get so much pleasure for hours but yeah, do no fap for a few months and watch your stamina crash.

Joeboard[S] • 3 points • 24 December, 2018 07:22 PM I mean fucking for awhile is cool, its nice to see her enjoy herself.. but at the end of the day, i wanna get my nut off before my dick gets sore and numb. I just wonder what shes thinking about this. She must like the sex, because she came right over the next day.

RPinthemaking • 2 points • 24 December, 2018 07:31 PM Who’s suggestion was it to go raw and did she suggest doing something new? If it was her than that means she blames herself for not being able to get you off. Keep it that way and enjoy the validation sex while working on nofap to be able to nut and when you do look her in the eye and say, “look you finally did something right.” PS. Be careful with going raw, babies and stds ya know.

Joeboard[S] • 0 points • 24 December, 2018 07:38 PM Lmao.. im not gonna put it on her, ive already talked to her about it a bit and she seems understanding, and willing to keep trying. I could tell from the first night, after sex we cuddled for a bit and she was asking if there was something wrong, if i found her attractive. And the second night is when i told her listen its been a little since ive had sex and it might be just nerves.

www.TheRedArchive.com Page 3 of 6 I guess this is better than not being able to get it up, idk. And we were fuckin with the condom, i was going soft and mentioned i hated condoms, she agreed so i took it off and continued. I know the risks, but she said she is clean and i was tested back when i was last having sex.

RPinthemaking • 1 point • 24 December, 2018 07:48 PM Try looking up some positions that you’ve never tried before. New experiences always brought me excitement and with that faster and better climaxes. Yeah... don’t go by her word, go get tested.

Peter_B_Long • 6 points • 24 December, 2018 08:41 PM Giving up masturbation is the only solution you will ever find. It's the only cure for death grip. If it takes 3 months it takes 3 months. Sorry, but you can't speed up the process. Going raw with this girl was a stupid mistake and don't ever do that again. There's a few other things you can try. You can try fucking with thinner condoms (although going raw is as "thin" as you can go, I doubt this will help you). Your immersion might be at fault here. You're so worried about being able to cum and you're probably insecure about the fact that you haven't fucked in years and all you want is to perfectly please this girl. Get over it. You should read "Sex God Method" to fix your immersion / psychological issues. Also, own your shit. If you can't cum don't go all beta and say, "Uh sorry idk what's going on". Tell her, "Sorry, but you're not getting my cum today. Maybe next time" (make sure you say this in a dominant way. Her pussy might also be too loose for you. I fucked this girl one time and her pussy was loose as fuck. Like, I could've easily stuck 3 fingers in there with no warm up. The whole time I kept wondering to myself if it was even in. Not only that but she was a starfish. Definitely one of the worst sexual experiences I had. I just told her to get off me and she went home.

Joeboard[S] • 0 points • 24 December, 2018 09:05 PM I might of came off beta by talking to her about it last night, but i didnt want her thinking I wasnt into her.. i still act very dominant during sex, and she enjoys that. Shes 5'1 and 100lbs.. i only use my middle finger to finger her. Shes pretty tight man. Im just use to squeezing on the head of my dick I guess =/ I just dont get it, when i was a virgin i was jerking off all the time, when i lost my virginity i had a condom on and was lucky to last 2 minutes. How is my 3 yr break any different???

Peter_B_Long • 1 point • 24 December, 2018 09:12 PM Dominance in bed is an act. Opening up and telling her about your performance issues is beta. Don't do this again. Psychological most likely. Your mentality is preventing you from having a good sexual experience. You're probably not feeling the experience. Maybe you're so focused on trying to give this girl an A+ performance that you're not enjoying the experience yourself. You're not immersed. You're not present. Like I said, read SEX GOD METHOD.

Joeboard[S] • 0 points • 24 December, 2018 09:14 PM I really was so caught off guard by this, i wasnt sure what to say at the time and just panicked. www.TheRedArchive.com Page 4 of 6 Im gonna read through that now.

Peter_B_Long • 1 point • 24 December, 2018 10:25 PM Understandable but unacceptable. Just learn from this and do yourself a favor and read the book.

jackandjill22 • 0 points • 25 December, 2018 02:34 AM Huh.

Dreams_of_Conquest • 4 points • 24 December, 2018 05:57 PM buy a fleshlight

boy_named_su • 1 point • 25 December, 2018 04:34 PM This is the correct answer. The hard she'll prevents the grip of death. kelticslob • 2 points • 24 December, 2018 11:34 PM Fake it and fuck in the dark. She won’t feel ugly to you and doubt herself. Throw out the condom in private.

CyJackX • 2 points • 25 December, 2018 02:09 AM Everybody's mentioning nofap, but I think I'll chime in and say just slowing down and breathing might be good as well. I've never really had a problem with deathgrip, but I've had plenty of round 2 or 3s where I gave up because I got too desensitized. Either I'm trying too hard or getting winded or I'm going faster, or I'm "flexing" harder. In all cases it just causes momentary desensitization or loss of pressure. Taking a breather and doing it slow and really feeling all the sensations helps. Re:Breathing and taking it slow, it's very possible that you're overtensing your kegels so they're too tired to get there. Also possible you are not as hard as you could be based on exertion. Plenty of factors.

Dontneedflashbro • 1 point • 25 December, 2018 02:44 AM Go on nofap simple as that. At the minimum stop porn and only jerk off twice a week. Stop making excuses and get on that nofap game.

BydandMathias • 1 point • 25 December, 2018 04:11 AM How old are you and this girl? If she's young then she might be less ok with it, but if she's older than 25 generally they aren't too judging. wiffofass 1 points 25 December, 2018 01:51 PM* [recovered] I couldn't cum when my prolactin levels were high. Might be worth looking into

Joeboard[S] • 1 point • 25 December, 2018 01:52 PM I get off all the time by myself.. its my grip. onpuzzlecomment score below threshold • -5 points • 24 December, 2018 05:28 PM She may not be hot enough

Joeboard[S] • 3 points • 24 December, 2018 05:36 PM Thats not it, but i dont want her thinking this. www.TheRedArchive.com Page 5 of 6 throwawayDutch321 • 1 point • 24 December, 2018 06:52 PM Why the fuck would you have sex with someone if you're not attracted to them in the first place? There are plenty of reasons why it can be hard to come but this got to be the dumbest one I heard.

jackandjill22 • 1 point • 25 December, 2018 02:36 AM I don't know why this is downvoted it's a definite possibility. Op's response is right too though don't let her know. But some girls just aren't "enough" or whatever your preference is.