FR IDAY, 8 TH FEBRUARY, 2019 – Keep the Cat Free – ISSUE 1713 Felix

The Student Newspaper of Imperial College London

NEWS

Will Mondays forever be meatless? PAGE 3

COMMENT

Why I'm proposing a complete restructure of the Union PAGE 8 LIBERATION Students to be refunded following Sport Imperial screw-up jointly-run service that the change in pricing by Sport Imperial structure violated the and Imperial College previous terms and con- NEWS Sport Imperial ac- of £30 – students will Union to support ditions. For all members knowledged and apolo- continue to be able and develop student that joined Sport Imperial Andy Djaba gised for the mistake in to use the gym and sports clubs. The prior to September 2018, Editor-in-Chief an email sent out on 5th pool provided they donations will go into the terms and conditions October inviting all stu- previously held a a general Sport De- stated that, following a Brexit and dents who were members membership. velopment fund that one-off payment of £40, Disability? Sport Imperial prior to September 2018 2. Do not claim a refund all sports clubs will “gym and swim facilities PAGE 15 blunder sees students to claim their full refund. of £30 - this fee will be able to apply to. would be free of charge to who joined prior Speaking to Felix, Will contribute towards Imperial students for the Hollyer, Head of Sport Sport Imperial’s The price increases, duration of their time at to September 2018 Imperial, said: “We’ve plans to develop and which saw students asked the College”. SPORT entitled to £30 gym made a mistake, we want improve opportu- to pay an annual fee of Concerns about the refund to hold our hands up and nities for sport and £30 for access to the gym change in pricing structure apologise. We thought physical activity at and pool at Ethos from were initially raised by a we’d done the appropri- the College. 1st September 2018, were student accusing Sport Im- mperial students ate due diligence. The 3. Convert the £30 as announced in June 2018, perial of fraud, as reported who paid for gym important thing from our credit for another as part of Sport Imperial by Felix in October 2018. membership prior side is, we’ve identified it Ethos service worth and Imperial College Following internal and to the 1st September and we’re taking steps to £30 or more - e.g. Union’s joint Sports strat- external counsel, Sport Super Bowl I2018 change in pricing remedy it.” unlimited class pass, egy. However, following Imperial were advised to structure have been of- Students for which this Active Imperial complaints from students offer a full refund of the LIII: GOAT fered a refund due to an applies now face four membership. and questions over the £30 annual membership defeats Rams error on Sport Imperial’s options: 4. Donate the £30 credit legality of such increases, to every student that had part. 1. Claim a full refund to the Sports Hub – a it has since been found signed up for membership PAGE 32 Cont. pg 3 FR IDAY, 8 TH FEBRUARY, 2019 FELIX FELIX ISSUE 1713

EDITORIAL NEWS [email protected] CONTENTS EDITORIAL 2 A wholesome Editorial Will Mondays forever be meatless? NEWS 3-5 jaba – Felix Instead, I'll preview my The Felix Team y D Ed POLITICS 6-7 f you've had the d ito speech with some of the NEWS reasons you should eat left up to you! You voted vegetarian and vegan An r Editor-in-Chief pleasure of reading initial ideas I've had so far. Andy Djaba meat one less day a week. in the Instagram polls, dishes, as well as a lack of COMMENT 8-9 one of my Edito- Much like my approach • Claudia Caravello While the main aim of you filled out the online healthy dishes that had a rials before, you'll to most things in life, I Deputy Editor Deputy President (Finance the campaign was to survey, and you told us wide variety. SCIENCE 10 Iknow that I hate writing liken running Felix to Joanna Wormald & Services) reduce our environmental your comments. With all this informa- them. With a passion. It managing my team, Man- • impact; there are also So what was the de- tion, the College Cater- BOOKS 11 has fast become the bane chester United. Fred was a News Editor health benefits to reducing cision? Will Meat Free ing service and I have of my existence, hence Joanna Wormald legend, much like Sir Alex • your meat consumption, Monday become a perma- decided not to continue FOOD 14 why I procrastinate and Ferguson, and left behind Politics Editors anuary has come explained on our stall nent campaign? Meat Free Monday, but leave them to the last a title-winning squad (the Avirup Banerjee and gone, along by Dr Cullimore, and With 523 people taking instead to shift the focus LIBERATION 15 minute. Which is where Felix fam). In my tenure, Divyen Vanniasegaram with the trial of financial benefits if you part in the survey (69.9% for the remainder of the we are now, after a day I think I've embodied all Juan Rubio Gorrochategui Meat Free Mon- continued MFM at home, of which stated they year to providing a wider SUSTAINABILITY 18-19 of successful procras- of the managers that have • Jday. So what’s next? as meat is more expensive were meat eaters), 57.7% range of healthier options tination, it is just past come in since Fergie's Comment Editors Will Meat Free Monday than grains and veg. of you wished for it to (meat and plant based) on INVESTMENT 20-21 10pm and I'm writing retirement. I began my Aida Manzano Kharman become a permanent Others interpreted it as a continue, while 40.0% campus! Some changes Charlie Titmuss this wretched thing. Ask tenure just as hapless as • scheme on campus? fun challenge, and some did not and the remainder are already being made, HANGMAN 24-25 me to review a Kendrick David Moyes, moved on Science Editors Meat Free Monday took it one step further by were impartial. However, such as the introduction Lamar album and I'll to being as ineffective Rosie Dutt (MFM) was a student giving #veganuary a go. the Instagram polls of 200 of the new salad bar in the GAMES 26-28 give you page upon page as Louis Van Gaal and Eyad Abuelgasim campaign created from Meanwhile, the Animal voters swung the other Senior Common Room of in-depth analysis into I've flattered to deceive, Henry Alman a combination of ideas Protection & Education way, with 53.9% wishing (SCR). PUZZLES 29 the inner workings of like Jose Mourinho. Sânziana Foia that came from different Society (APES) high- for it not to continue. With So what do College King Kendrick's mind. Now I think I'm having a • undergraduate socie- lighted the animal welfare no clear winner, it was Catering and I have in Tech Editor SPORTS 30-32 Ask me to write an important to acknowledge decide to use their voice, resurgence, much like Ole ties, PhD students, and benefits by using virtual hard to decide whether plan for you for the rest of Krithika Balaji Editorial and I struggle that Sport Imperial has be it through writing Felix Gunnar Solskjaer, and the Haaris Asghar Masters student groups, reality demonstrations, to turn the Meat Free the year? Well, get ready to string together half a realised its mistake and article or by any other Felix fam is performing • with the help of many provided by the Animal Monday trial into a per- for some big changes! Colourful inspiration from Ethos cafe // Claudia Caravello page. Anyway, we move. moved quickly to rectify means. Finally, I wouldn't like title winners. I also Arts Editors volunteers, Greening Im- Equality charity. manent campaign or not. Think new, plant-based, On to serious business. the issue and come up let the disappointment sur- want to take this chance Claire Chan perial, College Catering Overall, the campaign What did stand out in the sustainable café - a place to gain student feedback. chicken stand, intro- Front page news this with a smooth remedy. rounding the gym blunder to congratulate Music Helen Money-Kyrle and the Union. With huge was a success at getting survey, was the demand where you can relax while If you have a dish you ducing 24-hour vending week is the revalation that This is also significant overshadow the fact that Editor, Simran Kukran, Vaishnavi Gnanananthan support from College and students to talk about the for more information enjoying fresh, healthy, love/hate, then let College machines which contain all students who signed because it represents a Sport Imperial are making on securing her PhD • the Union, over 35 outlets idea of MFM. There was about the environmental and, most importantly, know by filling out the meals and snacks to help Felix Office Books Editors Beit Quad, Prince Consort up to Sport Imperial prior major change that was major moves to improve placement. A big win for JJ Cheng across four campuses took buzz online, chatter in sustainability of the food delicious meals. Opening experience box on the you power through those Road to the 1st September price brought about as a direct sport at Imperial, an issue the team! Without Simran part, including all College cafes, and articles written options, as 84.7% of in Summer term, inspi- feedback form: imperial. late night study sessions, London, SW7 2BB • change are now eligible result of the student voice. that has been present since convincing me to write Music Editors and Union outlets, as by you in Felix! Knowing students considered the ration for food options, ac.uk/food-and-drink/ or introducing a pizza and Tel: 020 79548072 to a full refund of the £30 I'm particularly gassed I joined as an undergradu- for Felix in my third year, Simran Kukran well as Pieminister and there would be a split in impact of their diet on new service structures, contact-us. Other ideas pasta cafe on campus! I’ll Email: [email protected] fee. As someone that was because Henry Hart ate in October 2014. and then convincing me to Adrian LaMoury Silwood catering! student opinions, MFM the environment. Further- and café layouts is cur- being debated include be keeping you up-to-date felixonline.co.uk particularly disgruntled at initially accused Sport Tomorrow is the Felix run for editor last year, I Henry Eshbaugh Throughout the month, was always advertised more, talking to students rently being gathered in moving the College Cafe regularly, with blog posts @feliximperial the price change, this is Imperial of fraud through Annual Dinner, the most wouldn't even be involved Asad Raja a wide range of events and as a trial, with the final highlighted concerns preparation for this café, hot sandwiches to the and updates on my Union • Printed by Mortons Media a significant move on the writing a Felix article and wholesome of wholesome in Felix. stalls were put on, high- decision to continue or about the lack of options with new dishes being JCR, while also adding a webpage about the excit- Group, Boston Road, Film Editors Horncastle, Lincolnshire part of Sport Imperial and that article was effectively events. I was going to Finally, section of the Mikhail Demtchenko lighting all the different not to continue being regularly on campus for trialled in the other outlets salad bar and a rotisserie ing progressions! the Union to rectify their the first 'domino to fall'. If use this editorial to write week goes to Books! Registered Newspaper Sung Soo Moon ISSN 1040-0711 error. Although I am still anything, this is proof of the speech I'll say at the Indira has written an ex- Aidan Chan slightly annoyed that I am the impact students can dinner but, as per usual, ceptional review, so well • Copyright (c) Felix 2017 not actually eligible for a have to better their situ- I'll end up imporivising written that she should Investment Editor refund myself, I think it's ation at Imperial if they that on the fly tomorrow. probably have my job. Tom Alston • Food Editors Students to be refunded following Sport Imperial Eva Tadros Julia Dąbrowska • screw-up Travel Editor ambition to improve sport Cross and Hammersmith the strategy when we’ve whole way that sport is Joana Correia for all at the College” and gyms, have occurred and got loads of really excit- digested and consumed at • comes amidst a slew of plans are underway for the ing stuff. We’re just about university with the Sports Puzzles Editors NEWS working days. positive changes to sport expansion of Ethos gym to change effectively the Hub.” Lorenzo Silvestri James Medler, the at Imperial. “At £30, we (thanks to the President’s Lisa Hey (cont.) • Deputy President (Clubs still wanted to make sure fund). Sport Imperial have Sports Editor & Societies) told Felix: that it was affordable, ac- also announced plans to Imraj Singh “This is a really big step cessible and appropriate,” introduce an app which Fergus Johnson prior to the price change. in the fact that the student commented Mr. Hollyer. will include activity track- • The sum of the refund- voice has been really lis- With all funds gen- ing and a reward scheme Copy Editors able gym fees amounts tened to and that’s going erated being directly designed to encourage Rhidian Thomas to over £100,000 and the to result in probably a few reinvested in facility and physical activity, whilst Isabelle Zhang Shervin Sabeghi decision to offer students thousand students getting service developments, also improving function- Calum Drysdale a refund was taken in their money back.” improvements, such as the ality for Ethos bookings. December 2018. The This error in changing full replacement of gym Mr. Hollyer added: refunds are expected to the membership was equipment and refurbish- “What we don’t want is it be processed within five made “with the earnest ment of Ethos, Charing to be the defining issue of The newly-refurbished Ethos gym // Sport Imperial 2 FR IDAY, 8 TH FEBRUARY, 2019 FELIX FELIX ISSUE 1713

NEWS [email protected] NEWS [email protected]

The final design we challenge these accepted the West and the East. we have chosen to do so. Insān - presenting conscious fashion will explore is the ‘Im- and omnipresent beliefs. We wanted to reclaim To be part of Insān means migrant tee’. This tee is We thought, "why not this, reclaim Arabic for to be part of a collective very special to us as it flip this on its head and the beautiful and encom- that loves and supports was the spark that led to challenge people for not passing language it is the desire to understand NEWS We have chosen what is wrong in the world the conception of Insān. taking the effort to un- and encourage people to people. We want to erad- clothing as our medium and as a result stimulate Our aim was to tackle the derstand the immigrants understand immigrants icate judgment, we want Ahmed Elgharably because we see clothes as conversation. issues surrounding inte- themselves, not taking the and people in general for to encourage unity and we Insan co-CEO an extension of our skin. Insān will become a gration of immigrants into steps to connect with them who they really are. See want to develop networks They are the fabric that leader in fashion wear and British society. We were as humans and understand beyond the surface. between individuals from encase us and surround styling by creating fashion struck by the negative their cultures and beliefs?" anywhere and every- us in everything we do. that matters. Fashion’s narratives used to present The stamp like ‘Im- What does it mean to where. This involves What is Insan? – our This makes it the perfect current narrative is a dou- immigrants in the media. migrant’ print on the be part of the Insan listening to you - as purpose and aims canvas to present ideas ble-edged sword. We are Conversations surround- back of the t-shirt give a family? fellow inhabitants of this and challenge issues due surrounded by fashion that ing "British values" and blatant and unapologetic world, interacting with to the huge scope for is spearheaded by cheap, immigrants incensed us approach to the situation Insān – encouraging your thoughts and beliefs which interactions with fast trends and fluctuation and cultivated a desire to and works to bring atten- people to be a bit more and listening to what you nsān presents a new our art can take place. In or fashion that is intelli- tion to the concept. Whilst human. want a unifying fashion fashion perspective. wearing our art, and con- gent in its conception and the simplistic Arabic on We foster creativity, we brand to look like. Insān We present fashion veying powerful messag- campaigns, but comes the front contrasts this. nurture inquisition and is for the conscious and that is introspective es, we encourage people attached to unachievable The Arabic depicts the we develop links between the active. These are the Iand directed, that tack- to explore and challenge prices. Insān will make word “bushri” – another humans. Be a part of the people we want to build les important messages their own beliefs and high fashion accessible, word for ‘human’ but movement to reclaim this community with. and challenges pre-con- established cultural atti- it will make wearing using a different dialect fashion consciousness If what you have read ceived barriers. We are tudes. something meaningful of Arabic. The reason and support a brand that or have seen has resonated a conscious fashion We see modern trends and beautiful achievable. for this is clear – black actually aims to explore with you, have a look at label that questions and and behaviours towards We will be a brand that A creative house // Ryan Myers Arabic writing on a white humanity and cultivate our Instagram - @insan. answers. conscious fashion. People generates conversation, The inspiration for background carries a vast human to human interac- mandem - and support are becoming deeply tackles wrongful norms the name – and what gets to the substance of a narrative within each array of negative connota- tions. us by giving us a like or aware and selective of the and challenges what you does it mean? the brand from the start. and every piece of art tions in the media and this Insān is more than a a share. Our DMs are Restructuring fashion narratives // Ryan Myers “We not only clothes they choose and already know. Our first design is named produced. specific combination has fashion brand – it is a always open for sugges- the brands they represent. The name ‘Insān’ is a ‘dancing spirits’ and is a Our second design been used as a medium creative house that tackles tions, criticisms, love and us to create something Email – insan. shine light This is because a brand has phonetic depiction of the re-imagination of Henri explores the concept of Madmen graphic jeans // of scaremongering and the world’s problems. support so please tell us beautiful. [email protected] become much more than a “We are Arabic word meaning Matisse’s iconic painting madness and humanity. Ryan Myers fear-generation in both Fashion is one of the ways what you think and help on the issues logo – it is a community of human. The reason we The Dance. We have The 'Madmen graphic themselves, human beings with shared surrounded by picked the name is because used the silhouettes of the jeans’ convey an eclectic ideals, behaviours and we wanted to create dancing spirits in our tees counter-cultural message. but explore lifestyles. Insān presents a fashion that is something that was true to create a psychedelic On the front the jeans lifestyle of consciousness. spearheaded to our message and true masterpiece that promotes carry our ‘Insān’ branding mentalities It is for the individuals to our roots. The name, in unity, oneness and un- whilst the back conveys that question and enquire by cheap, its conception, highlights derstanding. The image the ‘madmen’ message. Positive changes to Leadership Elections 2019 as and – who see suffering and one of the profound of dancing is iconic in The jeans play on the approaches to difficulty in the lives of fast trends or difficulties that we aim to the sense that it comes to double meaning of the nominations open others and wants to do challenge. Whilst in the the core basics of human word 'insān' (detailed pre- years. There will be more Another area of Stand and lead the tackle these something about it. We fashion that mother-tongue the word understanding. Through viously) and explore this opportunity for students to improvement is the com- change are a community who take is intelligent, ‘insān’ means human, the dance, music and laughter, poignantly. We used fabric get to know the candidates plaints process, which issues” action, who show creativ- phonetic is very close to we connect and we under- pens to create this design NEWS aimed at improving the Chair, Student Trustees, and their positions as there has been streamlined and The impact of these ity and present something but comes the word ‘insane’ – which stand; it is precisely these as they unequivocally experience for both can- and eight Liberation & will be a period of cam- made more transparent, elections on the student that is visually stunning. depicts madness. In this feelings that are captured allow us to explore what Andy Djaba didates and voters. Community Officers. paigning before voting. with a clearer appeals experience is massive and We are acutely aware of By challenging the senses attached to paradigm we present an in this tee. human beings can achieve Editor-in-Chief This is the biggest dem- Nominations are also Campaigning begins process introduced for all students are encour- the problems the human and creating visually ex- interesting narrative - We used the tech- with the simple marker ocratic exercise at Imperi- open for the committees 13:00 on Wednesday 6th disqualifications and a aged to vote and consider race face in modern cli- plorative art - that can be unachievable do we take the time to nique of spraying due pen. The design is remi- al in which a President and of our six Constituent March while voting starts daily report on resolu- standing for positions in mates – from issues sur- worn – we encourage you prices ” understand someone for to its anti-establishment niscent of youthful art and four Deputy Presidents are Unions, committees for at noon on Monday 11th tions. There will also be which they think they’ll rounding the integration to question and challenge the human being they connotations. There is doodling – the shading of ominations elected as Officer Trustees CSPs, as well as Academ- March. more time for complaints be able to make a differ- of immigrants, the dis- are, including their roots something very liberating the margins and borders in for The Lead- to lead Imperial College ic and Wellbeing Reps at This year’s debate with handling after the close ence. sociation and separation and their beauty? Or do about holding a can of the vibrant red is consist- ership Elec- Union as paid full-time the departmental level. candidates for major po- of voting, with the results Nominations close ideologies that infiltrate we take the surface-level spray and creating art. ent with this. Meanwhile, tions 2019 leaders for a year. Other sitions will be hosted by scheduled 24 hours after Friday 1st March, while modern politics and the understanding and see Watching those fine un- the bold, almost cartoon openedN on Monday 4th full-time paid positions Improvements ICTV and IC Radio with voting closes. Results are voting runs from noon, concepts surrounding someone who is different, structured liquid droplets style typeface for the February with hundreds are Felix Editor and Im- a live audience of students expected to be announced Monday 11th March – religious integration who is strange and who bring to life our stencils branding is intelligent in of opportunities for stu- perial College School of This year’s Leader- and everyone will get the on Friday 15th March 14:00 Thursday 14th and acceptance within is ‘mad’ in their practices is something surreal. The conveying the message of dents to lead Imperial at Medicine Students’ Union ship Elections include opportunity to submit during a party at Metric. March 2019. To stand for communities. Insān aims and beliefs? Do we treat effect achieved is one that understanding, like a child the highest level, and a President, while part time improvements based on questions ahead of the a role, go to imperialcolle- to present these issues each other like madmen, gives each piece a story at school learns to under- slew of positive changes roles include Council feedback from previous debate on social media. geunion.org/elections through fashion. We not or embrace each other as and a uniqueness. The stand the world around only shine light on the mandem? defects and smudges that them, we encourage you issues themselves, but come with the imperfec- to understand Insān. The explore mentalities and Our first line tion of spray as a painting shadow of madness is ever approaches to tackle these technique are perfect for present, however, and issues. Insān’s first line is one conveying such powerful shrouds the jeans quite Insān // Ryan Myers of deep exploration and messages and creating literally from behind. FELIX ISSUE 1713

POLITICS [email protected] The World’s Largest Election in History - and no one is talking about it! 900 million people are going to the polls for parliamentary elections in India to determine who rules the largest democracy for the next five years

POLITICS In many regards the rising economic inequal- upcoming election is ity, the abject failure of Avirup Banerjee not one election, but state education and the Politics Editor many regional ones with absolute absence of public regional leaders con- healthcare has been but he American fronting regional issues. on the back-burner of po- election of 2020 For India is a microcosm litical discourse. Instead is still 600 days of the United Nations, of real policy debates away, yet even in with 22 major languages to reduce crime and the Tthe British press there is (with over a million necessary judicial reforms at least one article a day native speakers each) and or the necessary policies on any declared or even significant religious and The people of India face a choice // Pixabay required to protect the potential candidates to cultural diversity. environment, the Indian challenge Donald Trump. In 2014, Narendra saying that, it would seen genuine economic over who would be the media has chosen to focus Yet very little focus Modi’s party (BJP) be lazy to fall victim to improvements with India prime-ministerial candi- its attention to partisan has been given by the achieved what no other bothsidesism, and not achieving its best rank date. The only pan-India politics devoid of any international press to the Indian Prime Minister recognise the significant on the World Bank ease- political party other than substance. Take the recent biggest election in human achieved since Rajiv differences and policy of-doing-business index the BJP is the Congress budget presented by history that will take place Gandhi’s landslide victory records. and strong GDP growth party (which has ruled the government – little this spring. India is the in 1984, that is to win an A year and a half ago, figures (+7%) whilst con- India for 50 of the 70 years attention has been paid world biggest democracy outright parliamentary the Modi-led BJP NDA trolling inflation to below since independence). Con- to the details on how to with almost 900 million majority. Yet, if current (national democratic 3%, ultimately Modi has sequently, many Congress finance the proposed uni- registered voters and polls are to be believed, alliance) government become a victim of unre- leaders have publicly said versal healthcare scheme, this year’s Lok Sabha then coalition govern- alistic promises he made that any prime-ministe- despite there being elections (India’s Lower ments are set to return. back in 2014. Persistently rial candidate must come numerous 24/7 news House of Parliament) is Coalitions in India are “Despite +7% high joblessness, agricul- from within their party. channels. However plenty a wide open contest, with never between two parties, tural distress resulting in This has irked many of media coverage has no clear winner in sight. but as in 2004 to 2014, the GDP growth indebted farm workers regional leaders who have been given to Mr Modi’s Before we move forward, governing coalition con- and high non-performing ambitions of their own. rhetorical zingers for let us recognise the impor- sisted of over 22 political numbers and asset ratio amongst India’s Despite the re-energised example “BC stands for tant role Imperial College parties with a further 8 low inflation, state-owned banks have spirit shown by Rahul before Congress, and AD has played in India’s parties providing external stifled the true potential of Gandhi, president of the stands for after Congress”, widely respected Election support. The current Lok this election India’s economy. Amidst Congress party and the with the Times of India Commission. It was an Sabha consists of 36 this disappointed climate, heir to the Nehru-Gandhi dedicating their front page alumnus of our univer- parties – now that’s a true is too close to the opposition has sensed political dynasty (no to it. Some things truly are sity, Sukumar Sen, who multi-party system. its opportunity. To prevent relation to Mahatma international. served as independent In season three of call” a repeat of 2014, opposi- Gandhi), the Indian youth In the past, the Indian India’s first Chief Election Blackadder, set in tion parties have united have grown tired of electorate has fallen Commissioner and was Georgian England, to form an anti-BJP coali- dynastic politics. India is a victim to identity politics tasked to do the improba- Blackadder informs was a shoe-in to win a tion, often with their past young country, with 65% and voting for leaders ble: conduct a multi-party Baldrick (representing the second term, but a year enemies, realising that of the population under based on religion, caste, election in a country that’s common man) that to be is long time in politics. A only a united opposition the age of 35 living in a language and ethnicity. 80% illiterate in 1950. Of an MP a criminal record disastrous demonetization can stop the Modi jugger- highly competitive world. However, time and time the many challenges that is a prerequisite. Whilst resulting in over 80% of naut. The past few months It is no wonder that in the again, Indian voters await India in the coming the UK has moved away the circulated currency have seen the BJP falter last election, the youth have also demonstrated decades, the survival of from the rotten boroughs becoming invalidated in the Hindi-speaking overwhelmingly voted for their ruthlessness against democracy is not one of the nineteenth century, overnight, a poor initial heartland, which played a the candidate who repre- incumbents who failed to of them. In the last 70 in India progress moves execution of a goods and vital role in their success sented meritocracy. Modi meet their promises. Will years each succeeding more slowly. The wide service tax, and communal in 2014. From losing didn’t have a famous po- the same befall Modi? government has peace- scale criminalisation of violence against religious the chief-ministership in litical family nor wealth to fully transferred power. politics has meant that minorities by Hindu Madya Pradesh, Rajasthan buy his way to power - he This by no means was a whichever party you vote fanatics emboldened by and Chhattisgarh to even is a self-made man who, pre-ordained feat – India’s for, one thing will always regional BJP leaders like loosing key by-elections in his youth, use to sell tea neighbourhood is crowded be constant, at least a third Yogi Adityanath have in the all-important state on railway stations. with failed states, military of MPs will have serious dimmed the halo that of Uttar Pradesh. In the wide canopy of dictatorships and the most criminal cases against Modi inherited in 2014. Yet behind the facade mud-slinging attacks, the powerful communist them. Now that is true Furthermore, whilst the of opposition unity, there real issues facing voters regime in the world. bipartisanship. However, BJP government has is already tension brewing are getting ignored. The 6 FELIX ISSUE 1713

POLITICS [email protected] Lefty YouTubers event draws large crowds

Last Tuesday’s ‘Politics in the Age of YouTube’ event demonstrated the political progressivism within Imperial

POLITICS question. Indeed, each of their paths towards leftism Juan Ignacio Rubio were quite different. In the Politics Editor case of Oliver Thorn (Phi- losophyTube), it was radi- hout out to calisation by “an unironic Something Awful Marxist academic.” forum poster The conversation then moved to the reasons why SSuperMechaGodzilla, they had decided to start who, in 2013, posted a making videos. “Instead Communist analysis of of posting hot takes on the film Prometheus, and Twitter, I decided to make basically radicalised me something and contribute on the spot”. This was the to the conversation”, answer of Harry Brewis stated Angie (Angie- (Hbomberguy) to the Speaks, prefers to go by question on how he was her first name). “There’s introduced to leftism. a section of the LefTube With such a starting shot, community oversaturated the Politics in the Age of with content that focuses YouTube event on the on making fun of reac- past Tuesday 29th of tionaries. I wanted to go January chaired by ICL a bit beyond that.” Brewis Labour Club’s President also weighted in: “People Ansh Bhatnagar was an- have to change their own Politics in the Age of YouTube // Pixabay ticipated to be quite a wild minds and the best thing ride. Him and three other you can do is giving them big community of creators perspective of Thorn. see a bigger challenge to lived in America, I would fellow YouTubers debated encouragement to do so.” and subscribers that can Brewis’ reasoning was the liberal hegemony left own a gun. Institutionally for two hours on current “Not everyone can provide feedback to your similar: “It’s the tabloids. of the centre.”, remarked violence is dispropor- politics, philosophy, and make YouTube videos. content. They can tell you Every opinionator there Angie. Jacobs was also tionally directed against the mechanics of video The creators are dispropor- when you have made a bad thinks themselves as positive about the future, People of Colour.”. making. tionally white cis males, take, especially in videos vaguely progressive, and though much work still Brewis nodded in agree- “Conservatives seemed and minority voices are with controversial topics. when they find an issue needs to be done: “We ment: “It would be very quite hip when I was very uncommon. There’s I had a recent experience they do not understand need to capture the narra- nice if there were no guns young. I used to be an also the fact that its is very with this, and people were they have to have a take tive, ensure that ours and at all, but in reality there American. I would love to very constructive, except on it. Mumsnet is a very other yet unheard voices are. I am with Angie, I hear perspectives from for a couple of people that British place. In England are effectively heard. hate guns, but if I lived in “We need to other countries, though came after me surprising- you have former comedy We are the future. It is a America I would definite- in many cases there is ly viciously.” writers screaming all day gradual process.” ly buy one. Nonetheless, it capture the a language barrier [that One of the main topics about the matter.” The event finished is a complicated issue.” makes the conversation discussed was the state And where is the with a Q&A round with It was quite a popular narrative, harder].”, said Thorn. of trans rights in the movement heading the audience. Hot topics talk, judging from the ensure that Brewis was very hopeful UK. Brewis famously to? What plans do our like gun control were fully packed room, one of in the power of this new did a day-long Donkey creators have for the discussed. Three of the the lecture theatres in the ours and other media channel as a tool Kong stream to raise future? “I am going to guests happened to be Sir Alexander Fleming for the empowerment of funds for Mermaids, a keep making weird shit. quite in agreement in their Building. Imperial yet unheard leftism: “If Left YouTube trans-supporting charity My content has started position on the matter: students seem to be had been present 4 years that has been relentlessly being noticed by main- “Gun control has the growing more interested voices are ago, we may had had attacked by transphobes stream media, so there’s effect of disproportionally in politics, but will the effectively President Contrapoints [a in social media. Why is a bit of space for growing affecting minorities first. I trend hold? We in the famous YouTube creator there such a backlash from here.”, said Thorn, am in principle pro-gun, Felix Politics section very heard“ that has done many videos in this country against who has been profiled by though I understand the much hope so! on politics and gender] by trans rights? “England The Atlantic and The New controversy with that. now.” Angie was also keen is uniquely TERFy. York Times. “I hope the Gun control was first in- AnCap before moving to share her experiences Maybe because there’s a LeftyTube communities stituted against the Black well to the left.” remarked in the platform: “One of tendency for middle class, matures and gets rid of Panthers.”, answered David Jacobs (BadMouse- the great things is that, white, centrist feminism some of its more shitty Jacobs. Angie built up Productions) to the same nowadays, there’s a very in our media.”, was the habits. I would also like to on that argument: “If I 7 FELIX ISSUE 1713

COMMENT [email protected] Why I’m proposing a complete restructure of the Union Students have been complaining for years that the Union makes decisions without consulting its members or volunteers. It’s time for the old structures to be torn down and for a new democratic, transparent, accessible and member-led Union to take its place. COMMENT

Ansh Bhatnagar having very low turnout, Comment Writer there simply wasn’t enough momentum to take it off the ground. This is why I have ow much of proposed a motion to the a say do we next Union Council for really have the Union to set in motion in what the a complete restructure HUnion does? Whether of itself that prioritises introducing sweeping democracy, transparency, changes such as a whole and accountability. It new representation needs to become mem- network (the Wellbeing ber-led – meaning that Rep Network), imple- all us students, together, menting programmes like are leading the way and ICXP (Imperial Clubs setting policy. It needs Experience Project), to empower anyone who tampering with election wishes to get involved and timetables (Leadership it needs to act upon what Elections 2018), or the student body wants, removing meat from effectively and efficient- the menus (Meat-Free ly. However, this is too Monday), the Union important a decision to be always acts according to left solely to Council. The the whims of those at the Imperial College Union / / Imperial College London restructure will be devel- top. Consultation of mem- Having been on the picket oped in a group consisting bers is seldom carried out lines on the majority of has not yet implemented. The one time lots of democratic, it thinks that of a wide range of students and even consultation with the strike days and talking Last year I proposed normal students showed democracy is simply such as sabbs, academic Union Council members to staff, I know it made a a motion for a petitions up to Council, they were voting in an election and wellbeing reps, CSP is virtually non-existent. real difference for them system that would make completely ignored. every now and then. Real committee members, I know this because I to hear that students back it easier for students This is the result not democracy is all year and most importantly, have sat on Council for a them against the universi- to propose motions. A of the specific people round. Our voices deserve normal students like you. year and a half, and many ty leadership. watered down version running the Union, but of to be heard and our wishes Everyone should get a say fellow Council members However, the current of this was passed in the structure of the Union deserve to be acted upon in what the new Union agree with me when I say system is an incredibly in- February 2018, with an itself. It’s why the situa- throughout the year, looks like: a member-led that we feel locked out. accessible and inefficient implementation date of tion stays the same every because it’s our Union. Union brought about by a Union Council is meant way to create policy. Most the Autumn Term 2018. year despite different It is an organisation that member-led process. to be the main represent- students don’t even realise At this point in time, it people being elected into is meant to represent us This is where you ative body of the Union, that they can write a has been “indefinitely those positions. It doesn’t collectively, and it’s about come in. Union Council setting policy and deter- Council paper. Even when delayed”. Two separate matter who you vote for time it did. In fact, talks must first set in motion mining the direction of a paper gets to Council, papers proposing a Social because the system itself were had in mid-2018 this process so that we the Union in collaboration the debate is often poor Mobility Liberation is rotten. Any system that between last year’s Union can get started on devel- with the sabbs (President and gets stuck on small Officer were submitted primarily empowers those President and volunteers oping a new system for + Deputy Presidents). technicalities. People talk last year amidst reports at the top rather than the about a radical change next year. Contact your However, what has Union over each other and points that Imperial was the mass membership is a in the way the Union is Council Reps to ensure Council actually done? I are left unaddressed. Even most unequal university fundamentally flawed run, with some very good they vote for this, contact can list a few good results after a motion passes this in England. There was system, regardless of who ideas being proposed. The me ([email protected]) if to come out of Council, doesn’t guarantee change. a wide show of support is running things. President at the time felt you have any ideas, and such as introducing If the Union doesn’t from normal students Now this isn’t an strongly that Council was most importantly, feel free harsher punishments for actually implement for the motion – Council argument to not vote in inaccessible and wanted to turn up to the meeting student volunteers found motions nothing changes! decided to instead run a the upcoming Leadership to bring about something on Tuesday, at 6:30pm in guilty of sexual harass- This is a pressing issue consultation on it. Again, Elections – please make new. However, with the RSM G1 to talk to your ment, and when it voted to as there are numerous this has yet to be carried sure you do. The argument meetings being advertised representatives and to support our staff during the motions that have gotten out despite it being is that although the Union almost exclusively to show your support! pensions dispute last year. past Council that Union mandated by Council. prides itself on being Council members and 8 FELIX ISSUE 1713

COMMENT [email protected] Fashion is not a real thing

This week’s grumpy bastard’s cynicism falls heavy on the industry, almost as heavy as the Supreme brick.

COMMENT things many people at anorexia and unhealthy is illegal, get to enjoy the fact that people think much flammable crap that Imperial enjoy and have body images. You are highly unsafe working they can do this or the fact every so often, they have Grumpy Bastard a serious interest in, so as probably responsible for conditions coupled with that people buy the damn to burn millions of pounds Comment Writer always, allow me to lower so many mental health being children. Who things anyway. worth of product just so my trousers, unclench my issues and eating disor- needs education when you High fashion certainly they can keep selling it for arse cheeks and defecate ders that I would applaud, can be crushed to death in exhibits this in spades, extortionate amounts of all over your vacuous except I’m busy ramming a factory collapse? Cer- with the delightful high money. deeply despise fash- hobby. cotton wool down my tainly not me. However, heeled crocs by Balen- The funny thing is ion. Whether it’s the To begin with, I deeply throat. Delicious. that is the unfortunate ciaga costing an entirely that people will continue pretentious designers mistrust an art form that I hasten to point out that nature of the industry, reasonable $500 a pop, to buy this shit. In an selling a branded mostly involves watching as an industry, the suffer- to produce vast amounts or the aforementioned effort to live the brand Ibrick for a tonne of money, how fabrics hang off mal- ing fashion imposes on its cheap rubbish and Supreme brick. One of the “lifestyle” and flex over or the gormless idiots that nourished human bodies. models is hardly the worst underpay their workers methods that these com- all their friends, middle buy it, everything in the Hats off to the generations bit. The poor bastards that before slapping a big fat panies use to keep their class cunts will continue fashion world is designed of fashion designers that are employed to create brand price increase. I’m prices high is destruction to invest in this clothing. to piss me off. Apparently, have successfully brain- the clothes that you enjoy, not sure what reveals of unsold stock. Burberry What a waste of human however, it is one of the washed young people into and I wear because nudity more about human nature, famously produces so life.

9 FR IDAY, 8 TH FEBRUARY, 2019 FELIX

SCIENCE [email protected] What next for Science in a No-Deal Brexit With more than £0.5 billion a year of research funding at stake, a no-deal Brexit could have catastrophic consequences for the UK’s science and engineering community

SCIENCE On 15th January 2019, of €1-2m to bring about top recipients in Europe. sources of funding to UK Imperial is also cam- Parliament roundly new and unpredictable These projects demon- researchers in the event of paigning for the UK Eyad Abuelgasim rejected May’s deal with scientific and technolog- strate our ambitions to a ‘no deal’ Brexit. government to guarantee Science Editor the European Union, ical discoveries. for the collaborate and work even scientific mobility through which lays out the terms very best, creative re- closer with partners in automatic visas for for an orderly withdrawal. searchers from anywhere Europe. “In response winners of major research This historic defeat for in the world to undertake That is why we are grants, such as Horizon n 14th June U.K. Prime Minister pioneering research in EU supporting and encour- to Brexit, 2020 or UKRI. Imperial 2016, just Theresa May makes the and associated countries, aging colleagues to is also calling for an ex- over a week prospect of crashing out and to build a team around keep applying for new Imperial pansion and streamlining before the EU of the EU without a deal them. European grants, as we College of Tier 1 visas for highly Oreferendum, an open more likely. campaign for continued skilled staff. letter, signed by thirteen On Tuesday 5th access to European London Speaking to Naturem, Vote Leave ministers, February, the Campaign “A no-deal research programmes following Imperial’s was published to calm the for Science and Engin- after Brexit.” has already launch of a strategic fears of British scientists, erring, CaSE, published Brexit will cost The government has introduced a partnership in education, farmers and others who its evidence to the House UK research pledged that in the event research and innovation relied on European funds. of Commons Science & of a no deal, grant funding new funding with the Technical Uni- It pledged: “If the public Technology Committee €577.35m awarded to UK institu- versity of Munich (TUM) votes to leave on 23rd inquiry into the implica- tions would be underwrit- scheme to in October 2018, Vice June, we will continue to tions of a no-deal Brexit (£520.7m) a ten to make up for the loss President (International) fund EU programmes in for science and engineer- of EU funding. encourage Professor Dallman said: the UK until 2020.” One ing. year in lost However, as mentioned continued “We’re naturally inter- of the thirteen signatories To date, the UK has opportunity in CaSE’s statement, the ested in any mechanism was Dominic Raab. secured over €5.1bn of Government has yet to collaboration that allows us to continue However, Scientists EU Horizon 2020 funding to access these detail the administrative fruitful collaborations were quick to point out since the inception of the mechanisms in place to with Europe we have established with the irony of one of the first programme in 2014, the golden grants” administer the guarantee European partners over things Dominic Raab did second largest recipient of if it becomes necessary. after the split” the decades”. as the newly-appointed funding. It has also yet to confirm A survey of around Brexit Secretary. On 21st A no-deal Brexit Although the ERC that the money for the 1,000 staff at the Francis July 2018, he suggested would mean UK insti- awards are just over ten underwrite will be new However, a few days Crick Institute, which that the UK might not tutions would no longer years old, recipients have money and not taken from later, 15 notable academ- Imperial is a founding honour the hard-wrangled be eligible for three won six Nobel prizes, existing research budgets. ics, co-wrote a letter in partner of, showed that an withdrawal agreement Horizon 2020 funding four Fields medals and Mike Galsworthy, The Guardian criticising overwhelming majority, that guarantees continued lines: European Research five Wolf prizes. One in co-founder and director of what they view as the 97%, of those who re- funding of EU pro- Council (ERC) grants, 14 publications from ERC Scientists for EU, writes scaremongering of certain sponded said a no-deal grammes until 2020. Marie Skłodowska-Curie projects rank in the top in his article for The higher education bodies, Brexit would be bad for actions (MSCA), and 1% most cited worldwide. Guardian that “even if the including the Russell UK science. SME instrument (SMEi) Imperial is one of UK government were to Group, about the effects Britain is scheduled “Scientists grants for small innova- Europe’s top recipients compensate our research of Brexit. to leave the EU on 29th tive businesses. of funding, hosting 97 community for the finan- They believe, with a March, but a deal on the were quick to This would be a huge ERC grants so far. As cial loss of ERC grants, clean sovereign Brexit, terms of its departure is blow for UK science and recently as December, it would take far longer British universities can yet to be fully agreed. point out the innovation. The campaign three Imperial academics than the few months left still have success with iront of one group ‘Scientists for won around €6 million until Brexit Day to build EU funding, like other EU’ calculated that these (£5.3m) between them to a fund as prestigious and successful third-party of the first streams equate to 45% of further their research in attractive to global talent countries (Israel, Norway the UK’s receipts to date materials, biomedicine as the ERC”. and Switzerland, for things Dominic from Horizon 2020. That and computing respec- In an open letter example), and will doubt- is to say a no-deal Brexit tively in the ERC’s latest published on 4th January, lessly continue to partic- Raab did as will cost UK research wave of Consolidator over 150 UK universities ipate in EU programmes the newly- €577.35m (£520.7m) a Grants funding, second have warned the Govern- like Horizon 2020 at will. year in lost opportunity out of UK institutions. ment that leaving the EU In response to Brexit, appointed to access these golden Vice-Provost (Research without a deal is “one of Imperial College London grants. and Enterprise) Professor the biggest threats” the in- has already introduced Brexit By far the most critical Nick Jennings said: stitutions have ever faced. a new funding scheme of those funding lines “These grants are highly They have urged the to encourage continued Secretary” is the ERC. The ERC sought after and Imperial Government to commit collaboration with Europe typically awards grants is consistently one of the to replacing these EU after the split. 10 FELIX ISSUE 1713

BOOKS [email protected] Ferrante Reviewed Books writer, Indira Mallik, reflects on The Neapolitan Quartet - My Brilliant Friend, The Story of a New Name, Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay, The Story of the Lost Child - by Elena Ferrante

BOOKS Scrawny, brash, and apt to throw stones at the neighbourhood boys, Lila, even to the adults around her, seems just Indira Mallik a little scary. Yet Lila’s Books Writer talents extend beyond causing trouble in the streets; by the age of five she has taught here are some herself to read, and can books that you do a dizzying number of want to devour sums in her head. Lenu as fast as pos- with all her hard work Tsible, sleep becomes must fall behind Lila secondary to being car- and her dazzling talent. ried along the twists and Envy, fascination, and turns of a novel’s relent- to some degree a sub- less plots. Other books conscious recognition are to be savoured, each that neither of them are sentence in its perfect like the other children composition wondered around them, draw over. Very rarely, a book the two girls together. is both. The Neapolitan Theirs is a fitful, febrile Please don’t be put off by these horrible covers // Books Like Us quartet, I would argue, friendship that is to last electric. Written in is the platonic ideal of all their lives. the first person from vaguely mystical tale. confines of personhood lead her away from the the form. Epic enough the grown-up Lenu’s Lila and Lenu grow the most. Her energy neighbourhood she grew in scope to make any perspective, it has a up in the drudgery of and quashed potential up to a life of money world building fantasy “Ferrante’s magnetic, confessional poverty with the threat manifest themselves in and culture. Lila, who is writer envious, and quality. I have seldom of violence constantly odd, violent ways: at thrown out of a window acute enough in its generously read fiction that so com- looming large. Against times, copper pots near by her father when she exploration of domestic pletely, and so incisively this bleak backdrop her collapse into them- brings up the subject intimacy, the four novels peopled captures a woman’s commonplace moments selves, things by her of middle school, are of that unusual breed bildungs- interior life. The quartet take on a glittering seemingly catch alight. despite her talents, stays of fiction that doesn’t wears its feminist magic; a dog-eared All four books are trapped. seem to be fiction at all. roman is set credentials lightly, but copy of Little Women a study of tensions The series, which it is undoubtedly a becomes the roadmap to simmering under the begins with My Brilliant against a vivid deeply feminist work. a future of riches, a trip surface threatening to “Half fairy tale, Friend, follows the lives As the protagonists of to the sea takes on the boil over. This is, after of two women born in backdrop the books grow older, aura of a wild adventure all, as much a story of half impossibly Naples just after the of mob rule, the portrayal of an into the unknown. The Italy in the latter part of Second World War. unconsuming childhood women themselves the 20th century as it is real, they are Elena Greco, affection- student riots, friendship transitions become a little larger of the lives of its central impossible to ately called Lenu, the into a exploration of the than life - set at a time characters. Ferrante’s daughter of a porter, and the rise of joys and perils of ado- and in a city where men generously peopled put down or to Raffaella “Lila” Cerullo lescence; of first love; beat their wives and bildungsroman is set the daughter of the local the feminist of heartbreak; of assault, children at the drop of a against a vivid backdrop forget” shoemaker come from movement, then in adulthood there hat, the violence of men of of mob rule, student poor families, but both is the struggle as a is banal, women’s anger riots, the rise of the seem destined to leave the dot com woman to establish is a different matter: feminist movement, “What are the ties that their impoverished oneself professionally; “men were always the dot com boom, and bind?”, asks Ferrante in beginning behind. The boom, and a the consequences of getting furious, they a febrile political en- these novels that follow two meet in elementary staying or leaving an calmed down in the end; vironment. Ferrante is two lives that grow apart school where Lenu, a febrile political abusive marriage; the women, who appeared in particular concerned and come together again precocious, conscien- environment” decision of wanting and to be silent, acquiescent, with class, and money. and again; half fairy tious girl, if a little not wanting a child; of when they were angry When Lenu’s family tale, half impossibly timid, is top of the class. chafing against the roles flew into a rage that had scrape together enough real, they are impossible In contrast to the well Ferrante’s writing, of wife and mother. no end”. Lila, a little to send her to middle to put down or to forget. behaved, rather angelic translated into English This is the story of maenadic at the best school, a whole future Lenu, Lila is half feral. by Ann Goldstein, is two lives woven into a of times, strains at the opens up to her that will 11 FELIX ISSUE 1713 FR IDAY, 8 TH FEBRUARY, 2019 FELIX

ARTS [email protected] ARTS [email protected] Good Dog: Tales of Dignity in the Cauldron of Poverty ARTS Mills channels Kene’s or bad. Although many words to give a dignified of the good characters and compassionate insight are currently struggling, into the daily struggles we are reassured that affecting far too many it is merely a matter of Where? Watford Palace people in modern day time before their fortunes Theatre Britain. change. Unsurprisingly When? Until 11th March Delivered as a mono- this doesn’t prove to be How Much? From £13.50 logue, interspersed with the case. noughties grime and Life begins to wear not Calvin Nesbitt garage, the play begins “Essential Arts Writer with Mills as an innocent school boy who worships viewing” Poverty has a drowning “good” fervently. His effect. Those who are steadfast and dutiful only at the growing Mills, economically oppressed responses to the daily whose life we see pass by will often find themselves challenges of his family’s before our eyes, but also Anton Cross in Good Dog // Wasi Daniju berated for paddling in an poverty are naive to the on the supposedly good overly ferocious manner point where one is im- figures who never find Rather than leaving him monolithic cube. Swirls the London Riots that as they struggle for mediately aware trouble themselves rewarded. in a continued state of of smoke slowly billow will be the play’s climax. breath. Whilst the media will come. Along with More bewildering to Mills haplessness, his decisions from its carcass-like The intelligence of Kene and large swathes of pol- his own struggles, Mills’s is the fact that the ‘bad’ are a clawing attempt for frame, evoking memories is to present this political iticians have failed to give all seeing eye peers from characters seem to be dignity made by a child of Grenfell. tragedy as a human one. voice to these suffocating his balcony to bring us prospering. This is where under immense pressure. A statue to the kind of We see anger as dignity The audience joining the fight in the barricades // Vault communities, many stories of a variety of Kene’s subtle writing The ability of Mills, who inevitable and depressing and structural oppression artists are standing up to characters from his estate. shines. The young Mills is excellent throughout, end game that often as daily struggle. There is give insightful, honest The local corner shop slowly becomes ‘bad’, the to translate this reasoning meets Mill’s ensemble of no sense of politics being Counting Sheep: Join the Revolution! and humane responses. duo of “Gandhi” and his reason for the quotes being for a range of different downtrodden neighbours. played, just life as it is Arinzé Kene’s Good Dog stray cat are particularly the play’s underlying characters as he narrates This air of inevitability experienced. This, along is a striking example of great. Each is judged in point: one has a sense of their lives is astounding. that the play is soaked with the interesting range Counting Sheep is a fully immersive theatrical experience that transports the audience to the events of the Kiev this. Here at the Watford turn, being cast initially respect or understanding Stage centre for the play’s in adds an uneasiness to of characters makes for Palace theatre, Kwaku by the naive child as good for the boy’s decisions. entirety is a charred your viewing. Here it is essential viewing. Uprising in 2014.

without ever falling into the wall, as Protesters, olution and witnesses of helmets among sandbags, ical stunts are all crea- ARTS the trap of self-pity. The from where we are invited police brutality, burning bricks and toppled tables, tively employed to build Witness for the Prosecution events in the play are to join the fight; or around destruction and deadly helping strangers to clean a complete theatrical based on historical facts the table, also as Protest- sniper shots. We also meet the barricades in the experience. The sets are Another all-round pleasing hit from the queen of crime writing. and the personal stories of ers, but with premium Marichka, a classical aftermath of bloodshed completely transformed Mark and Marichka, who pianist who was due to and taking part, horrified, before our eyes, so fast ARTS Where? Forge – The Vaults also perform (though not have the most important in funeral ceremonies. that we barely notice. stage by Christie herself Lady Justice on the wall, es are even called from upended in not one, but Queen’s Bench Division When? Until 17th March as themselves), notably “Electrifying” concerts of her life the The transition is subtle However, what truly takes from her short story, and concentric rows of red outside the chamber, and two dramatic twists! It is to play Sir Wilfrid How Much? £26.50 day the revolution broke and never forced, but the the show to the next level Traitor Hands. As the title leather seats, each with its make their way through an Agatha Christie plot Robarts, with Chubb’s “An unique privileges that include out. The gigs were can- fact remains that an ini- is the music, brought Where? County Hall suggests, the courtroom own tiny wooden desk, the audience to the stand. after all. Without giving dogmatic and slightly Maria Portela Ukranian food and vodka. celled, and she joined the tially reluctant audience to us by the Marczyk When? Until 31st March drama, a small part of the looking down upon the The trial we’re attend- too much away, it definite- prissy Myers serving Arts Writer artistic Mark, played by fight. With her, and thanks (including myself!) ended couple’s Balaklava Blues How Much? From £10 original story, becomes small stage area. ing is that of the young ly comes as a surprise and as his foil. Though she Michael Edwards, is to Georgina Beaty’s up as central players in the project. Influenced by the focus of the play. And You feel like you’re Leonard Vole (Daniel leads the play to its thrill- doesn’t spend much time ark and collaboration” our guide: a Canadian astonishingly bold perfor- show. The adequate tone trance and electro-pop Claire Chan where better to set an actually in court, watching Solbe), accused of mur- ing conclusion. If I have on stage, Phoebe Marshall Marichka musician with Ukranian mance, we feel the urge to is achieved during the but with an ethnic touch, Arts Editor exciting courtroom drama things happen in real time. dering a rich old lady one complaint, it’s that also deserves a special Marczyk, by giving life to the origi- roots, back to the ancestral care for the wounded, the whole performance, now this mix of recordings, ho doesn’t than an actual courthouse? Discreet, brass-covered of his acquaintance for the twists are almost too mention for her delight- creators nal soundtrack. land during a work trip. despair at being unable to joyful and overflowing live performance and remember Lucy Bailey’s produc- speakers are dotted her money. Sir Wilfrid out-of-the-blue. Unlike fully vapid portrayal of Mand writers of Counting Arriving at the Forge, His job was to record local help, and the anguish of with tradition and national electronic manipulation readingAgatha tion is set in the spectac- between the seats at Roberts (Jasper Britton), the best mystery novels Sir Wilfrid’s secretary Sheep, met and fell in one of the venues in the music for a new film. With not knowing if the ones pride, now respectful and add continuity and unity Christie’s ular Council Chamber of ear-level, imperceptibly convinced of his inno- where you can guess who Greta. love in the barricades VAULT Festival, we find a him, we meet the chaos of we love are safe. mournful for the hundreds to the play. There are Wbooks as a child? Murder the old London County generating the ambient cence, must fight his old the killer is, we’re almost Witness for the Pros- in Maidan Square while long table, rustic benches train stations, observe the There is an interesting of lost lives, now resilient some beautiful moments mysteries, full of suspense Hall – and boy, do she murmurs of the court- rival Myers (William completely in the dark ecution is definitely a fighting for life and free- and makeshift seats made nightlife in Kiev and ex- phenomenon of collec- and confident in the re- of singing and playing, and intrigue, invariably and designer William room. This is quite clever Chubb) in court to save until the big reveal. night to remember. It’s dom. The show is directed from concrete blocks, perience the gastronomic tive compliance to the building of the country. heartwrenching emotion, with an unexpected twist Dudley make use of the on the part of Dudley and him from the noose. But Solbe is utterly con- not exactly subtle or by Natalia Kaliada and tyres and wooden planks. and touristic attractions increasingly complex From a technical powerful rhythms and or surprising revelation grandiose surroundings! sound designer Mic Pool. with all the evidence vincing as Leonard Vole soul-searching with its Nicolai Khalezin, polit- Ukranian and European of the city. The actors sit tasks we, as an audience, perspective, we couldn’t amazing polyphonies, in the dénouement. The en- From the moment you Not only does it overcome against Vole, it looks to – you’d never believe the trope-heavy plot and ical refugees due to their flags are an important part among us, we share a meal are asked to perform. We wish for anything more. created with the expertise during popularity of Agatha step in, the austere marble the acoustic challenges of be a losing battle. And honest-faced young lad stereotypical characters, illegal theatre company, of the set, as well as an and make toasts to some don’t really understand Smartphones are encour- of classical training and Christie has seen a plethora architecture and sweeping the vaulted ceiling, but there’s Vole’s enigmatic capable of murder. Or but then again it’s never the Belarus Free Theatre, old-looking upright piano unintelligible sentences, how we went from being aged and brilliantly used ethnomusicology. of film, stage and West End staircases immediately when particular events foreign wife, Romaine would you? Opposite him, promised to be anything in a country where all with the internal mecha- sing, dance and are merry comfortably seated to in the show, together with An award-winning adaptations of her stories, conjure the solemn at- happen on stage, the (Emma Rigby)… Rigby makes a captivating else. With its spectacular theatre must be state-sanc- nism exposed. Depending together. Later, as a city of joining in the rhythmic continuous projections “Guerrilla Folk Opera”, such as Kenneth Branagh’s mosphere of a courthouse. shocked gasps that fill the It’s a suitably melodra- Romaine – seductive, sly setting and dramatic plot, tioned. From this unique on the ticket type, we tents emerges in Ukraine’s section of an electrifying of real footage from the Counting Sheep is an ex- relatively recent Murder on The impression only room seem to come from matic, if somewhat cliché, and ever so foreign with it’s entertainment anyone artistic collaboration might sit in the galleries, historical Independence song, cheering as a couple uprising that bring realism plosive stage experience the Orient Express. intensifies on entering the audience itself. The plot. At least up until the her thick German accent. will enjoy, regardless arises a powerful political away from the action, and Square and pro-European of strangers gets married, and a larger dimension to that dwells on life and Witness for the Prose- the Chamber itself – a illusion of being ‘in court’ last fifteen minutes of the And Britton looks like of whether they prefer argument for democracy, play the role of Observer; protests unfold around us, playing musical chairs, the show. Lights, sound death and leaves no one cution was adapted for the soaring domed ceiling, is very real – the witness- play, when everything is he was plucked from the Nietzsche or Netflix. human rights and peace, in the benches closer to we become part of the rev- holding shields and effects and choreograph- indifferent. 12 13 FELIX ISSUE 1713

FOOD [email protected] Biff’s Jack Shack: turning jackfruit into fast food is not just for the vegans In an effort to stay current and #OnTrend, resident Felix treehuggers Simran and Rhid try out the first in a series of veggie and vegan food outlets to keep things moving post-Veganuary.

FOOD salty and sugary sweet spots. Both authors being “On all counts, vegetarians who’ve strug- Thomas Rhidian gled to commit entirely to the Big Jack veganism, who better to Simran Kukran give the verdict on vegan burger passes Food Writers junk food? with flying The setting colours – this is he past 12 months Boxpark Shoreditch: If have been more you’ve ever been to a con- no stodgy Big vegan inspired tainer park before, you’ll than ever; in fact, feel like you already Mac” T2018 was the year of the know this place pretty vegan. Last year saw well – the usual blend sales of meat-free food of hipster brunch joints of us had tried jackfruit in increase by a staggering and edgy chip shops are any of its guises before. 987%, with everyone all here. Things are kept BJS managed to create an from Beyonce to Benedict nice and simple upstairs: entire menu from it, with Cumberbatch getting in communal bench seating the classic jackfruit-as- The delicious Samuel Hell Jackson burger // Simran Kukran on the action. Like it or and plenty of natural light pulled-pork fare joined not, plant based (read: give it a relaxed, airy feel. by innovative jackfruit stand up to it. Maybe try plenty of texture and sub- lot going on in here, not vegan) food is here to Points for having a well- burgers, wings, and chilli. one of the other wings… stance, although you’d be least the punchy jalapeno stay. But saving the planet stocked bar, which would hard pressed to pin down peppers – this one’s not doesn’t have to mean sac- be great on a summer Wings Burgers its flavour in amongst for korma fans. That being rificing culinary pleasure, afternoon; we went in the Our introduction to What do you want in everything else. Trying said, there’s plenty to or indeed saving your pissing rain instead. jackfruit came in the a burger? As far as we’re it by itself (sans bun, enjoy if you’re a certified own body; while in days form of buffalo ‘wings’, concerned, a burger’s salad, sauce), the patty’s spice aficionado, and the gone by the first casualty The food complete with blue function is essentially subtle herby flavour is a pricing is still reasonable of a meat-free diet was Biff’s Jack Shack ‘cheese’ dip. Immediately, to satisfy that desire welcome surprise, and at £9. fast food, today’s veggies (BJS) gets its name from it’s clear why jackfruit for something solid, it’s something of a shame and vegans have plenty of jackfruit, a large fruit lends itself so easily to something heavy, that that it’s overwhelmed by And so to our side options that hit both those native to India. Neither pulled pork; its stringy, fills a hole when you’re everything else. of choice: dirty fries, fibrous texture is unlike absolutely famished or to complete with vegan aioli any other vegetable. BJS fill your stomach before a If strong flavours are and maple cured ‘bacon’ have a really good stab at solid night out. It doesn’t your jam, though, you jam. The latter split the working the jackfruit into have to be meat, or even may prefer the creative- authors – too sweet for something chicken-esque, meaty – a satisfying bite ly-named Samuel Hell one of us, bang on for and while it’s unlikely to and some decent relish is Jackson burger. There’s a the other. If you’re into fool a regular at KFC, the all we ask for. that whole sweet BBQ wings work well enough to sauce thing then you’ll be enjoyable in their own On all counts, the Big “We were probably love it. We were right, complete with sugar Jack burger passes with unanimous, though, in our cane ‘bones’. The chefs flying colours. The Big unanimous in feelings towards the aioli: seem to really know their Jack is BJS’s entry-level this is the most impressive star ingredient, with an offering, and at £7.50 our feelings part of the whole meal. extra crispy breadcrumb straddles fast food and towards the As non-vegans, we are coating guarding against gourmet burger pricing. no strangers to the garlicy jackfruit’s tendency to This is no stodgy Big Mac, aioli: this mayonnaise and it is go a bit mushy. Our only though; everything – from indistinguishable from the criticisms would be of the wholesome seeded is the most egg-based original. the accompaniments; the bun, to the genuinely buffalo sauce is a little on fresh and crisp lettuce, impressive The verdict? Vegan the sharp side, even for to the burger sauce that part of the junk food is just as good those who usually douse you’d swear is the non-ve- as your meaty alternative their chips in vinegar, and gan original – everything whole meal” if done right. Stay tuned the blue ‘cheese’ doesn’t suggests quality. The for further instalments! Biff’s Jack Shack’s dirty fries // Simran Kukran have enough in the tank to jackfruit patty itself offers 14 FELIX ISSUE 1713

LIBERATION [email protected] Brexit and Disability?

LIBERATION sound familiar as they Justice Judgement. This The Future: have, and still are, being was an issue that was Hishi Aty discussed (rightly so!). missed in the DDA and The European Acces- 2017/18 ICU Disabilities But what about that last many people had suffered sibility Act, proposed Officer one? Is there even any from ‘discrimination by in 2015, aims to set relationship between the association’. Imagine the requirements for products Sam Hasselgrove quality of life of people impact of being discrimi- and services, such that 2018/19 ICU Disabilities with disabilities and nated against due to your they are more accessible. Officer Brexit? Spoiler Alert! Yes. relative/child/partner For example, trains and being disabled. Not only busses to be designed Laws: would this put massive with accessibility in stresses on the family’s mind and cash machines s you are prob- The EU Withdrawal financial situation but to have headphone jacks ably aware, Act converts current EU also stress the relation- for the visually impaired, ever since the law into domestic law as ships with the disabled amongst other things. invocation of we leave ensuring enough person. Not only that but Leaving the EU would AArticle 50 on 29th March time for the UK to either the mental stress that is prevent people with dis- 2017, the entire country modify or remove some placed onto the disabled abilities from benefiting has been on-edge. Whether or all of the EU laws after person, knowing that their from upcoming EU legis- you are a ‘brexiteer’ or a thorough thought and family is unemployable lation on accessibility. ‘remainer’, everyone’s discussion. The act also because of their disability Although the UK fear of the unknown and allows corrections to be is immense and this is in has been a pioneer in split opinions have made made to laws that are no addition to all the other disability and inclusivity the process of leaving longer applicable once mental stresses that come legislations, the EU has ever more… complicated, we leave straight away. with a disability. helped to shape and refine to say the least. However, which EU laws the rules, such that no one How are local busi- apply to people with disa- Finance: is excluded and secondary nesses and multinational bilities? issues of disability are Although the UK has been a pioneer in disability and corporations affected by The UK has generally There is no doubt that accounted for. Leaving inclusivity legislations, the EU has helped to shape and this? What would the been very good with dis- most disabilities incur the EU would not cause refine the rules // Pxhere transition period mean to ability laws and legisla- extra costs to the person. a massive change in disa- will be beneficial as there trade and immigration? tions; for example, when Whether it is healthcare bility laws straight away; would be a much bigger laws. Even if it’s just for Are we going to remain in the UK passed the Chron- costs, transport costs or however, the UK would pool of experience to humanitarian purposes. the single market? What ically Sick and Disabled equipment costs. The UK then be able to ‘roll back’ enable us to create the best about the customs union? Persons Act in 1970, it government understands some of the EU laws that Are we going to have a was the first legislation in this, and has created protect and enable the in- free-trade agreement? the world to recognise and Personal Independence dependence of those with What about the Backstop award rights to disabled Payments (PIP) to support disabilities. This reduces Have you ever experienced and Ireland? Are we going people. In 1995 the Disa- people with the extra the power of the voice of to have free movement? bility Discrimination Act costs, allowing them to people with disabilities as discrimination? What about farming (DDA) was introduced, independently contribute there would be a reduction and fishing? What about which included education, to society. The EU’s regu- in the domain of advocacy. research funding? When transport, and the provi- lation on the coordination Will the UK decide ave you do we get that £350m/ sion of goods, facilities, of social security systems to ‘roll back’ the laws? ever felt week for the NHS? What services, premises, em- means that British I personally think that’s unintentionally, impact does Brexit have ployment and occupation. citizens eligible for PIP unlikely (or at least I on the lives of people with However, businesses with can continue to receive it would like to think so), casually or subtly disabilities? fewer than 20 employees whilst living in another since the UK government Hdiscriminated against within the were protected if they dis- EU country, extending the has a proven track record college environment? What happened? How criminated on grounds of person’s independence of caring for those with “What impact disability. This exemption across the continent. disabilities. Also, more did it make you feel? How did it affect you in the was removed from UK Not only that but recently, The Papworth long run? Felix is trying to start a conversation does Brexit law in 2004 after the EU making the country more Trust suggested that the to better understand the impact this has on legislation, the Frame- accessible and removing UK is one of the best have on work Directive for Equal the barriers faced by EU members in terms people by compiling some experiences from the lives of Treatment in Employment people with disabilities in of treatment of disabled staff and students on campus. and Occupation, came society requires re-plan- people. Could financial To bring this issue to attention and have people with into effect in 2000. ning and costs. The EU help provided for people In 2008, discrimination supports the UK with with disabilities abroad your voice be heard please share your story disabilities?” against employees due these costs through the be affected? I think that by filling in the anonymous form on the Felix to their carer status or EU Structural and Invest- would be one of the most website. relationship to a disabled ment Funds – which place likely changes we will see. If you’ve been follow- person became unlawful a great deal of emphasis I do however believe that ing the Brexit process, all in the UK as a result on anti-poverty and social some collaboration with Tell Felix your story these questions should of a European Court of inclusion measures. the EU around disability 15

FR IDAY, 8 TH FEBRUARY, 2019 FELIX FR IDAY, 8 TH FEBRUARY, 2019 FELIX

SUSTAINABILITY [email protected] SUSTAINABILITY [email protected] A Creative Green A unique expression on the waste issue from a unique perspective SUSTAINABILITY

Anonymous At lunchtime I watch open-mouthed Sustainability Writer as you forage fridges of film-wrapped sandwhiches. Waste. Produce of haste.

You haven’t seen what my grown-up brothers do who Rubbish bin overfilled // ... i there, graduated into industry or work at the supermarkets on the night-shift. Evening. Black Friday. I am a bin You come in with a discounted ready meal Your humble biographer Finished lunch. Yum - a wooden fork and knife. I feel a fuzzy feeling, like a stocking on Christmas day. HWherever I may be At last something but plastic. Beside the kitchen sink yawning Though they’re not going to biodegrade I am tired in the morning In a rubbish dump sealed anaerobically. But there is no time for rest to catch your cereal packet Many miles away or an unwashed peanut butter jar I have a cousin. He’s a bit of a hippie. Oceans churn Got his head dyed green. Incinerators burn Standing on the landing at University Thinks he can take most things My belly ends and landfill begins. Greggs now-infamous meat-free sausage-free roll has caused mixed opinions // Plant Based News you pass me everyday Calls himself a recycling bin occasionally greet He sends two-thirds of his earnings overseas Lettuce Eat Better me with a screwed up tissue. for developing nations to deal with. Veganuary - the challenge to eat a plant-based diet in the month of January has seen more people and businesses taking part in 2019 than ever before. Will this environmentally-minded movement be sustained?

SUSTAINABILITY approximately doubled against animals for the An ever-growing body reported by Plant Based with new adherents to the with each successive year production of meat, of science continues News, 43% of respond- lifestyle, the numerous Elliot Dryer-Beers since its establishment dairy, eggs and other to support the positive ents listed animal welfare benefits besides the initial Sustainability Writer in the UK in 2014), has animal-derived products, implications of adopting and rights issues as motivation that sparked meanwhile peaked again with a growing number of a plant-based lifestyle one person’s interest this year with an estimated documentaries portraying with regard to our health tend to become apparent ow that 300,000 new participants. the treatment of animals and the planet. From the “This increase quickly, and lead them to Veganuary used for food production. perspective of health, inspire others to consider 2019 has come Such a dramatic swing However, the interest a vegan diet has been in diversity of the source and impact of to an end, it’s has prompted many to fuelling this modern surge shown to offer protec- thought and their purchases. theN perfect time to reflect wonder: what concerns towards plant-based living tion against numerous Altogether, the over- on the cultural shift vegan- are driving our blossom- extends beyond concerns conditions including awareness whelming success of ism and the plant-based ing appetite for conscious relating to ethics and obesity, type 2 diabetes Veganuary and contin- message experienced in consumerism when it morals, rather, tapping and cardiovascular mor- in general uing rise of interest in recent decades. Veganism, comes to abstaining from into mounting worries tality. Meanwhile, only veganism as a whole has it’s fair to say, has recently products borne of animal surrounding the impact of those living under rocks is hugely set a fantastic precedent experienced a leap from exploitation? Early teach- could manage to miss for 2019, which looks the fringe into the spot- ings, such as those found the mounting evidence encouraging” to be the strongest year light, with many reasons in Jainism, Buddhism “Veganism, revealing the disturbing yet for the plant-based underlying its ever-grow- and Hinduism, alongside it’s fair to say, and staggering contribu- motivating factors when diet. And with high street ing popularity. the views of prominent tions of animal agriculture signing up. A further 39%, stores now racing to outdo Over 681,000 people figures including Pythag- has recently towards deforestation, however, cited health as each other with fresh ve- in the UK (approximately oras and Plutarch, have species extinction, and a driving factor, while gan-friendly products and 1% of the population) traditionally considered experienced a global warming. Given 10% of respondents listed ranges such as the now-in- currently follow a vegan moral and ethical issues the increasing availability environmental concerns famous Greggs meat-free diet: a number predicted surrounding the relation- leap from the of this information to an as their reason for taking sausage roll, Pizza Hut’s to increase by 327% in the ship between humans fringe into the ever more informed pop- part. This increase in Jack ‘N’ Ch**se pizza coming year, while google and animals. Are modern ulation, the rapidity with diversity of thought and and Marks and Spencer’s searches for ‘vegan’ minds changing en masse spot-light” which the vegan message of awareness in general Plant Kitchen (comprising quadrupled between 2012 according to these ideas, continues to chime with a is hugely encouraging, as 60 brand-new meals) this and 2017, exceeding both or is there more to it? growing portion of society it helps reach individuals wave doesn’t seem likely ‘vegetarian’ and ‘gluten Indeed, much of the consuming and producing is hardly surprising. who otherwise might not to crash anytime soon. free’ search terms. Partic- modern focus remains a typical Western diet on Looking at results from have shown any interest in ipation in the Veganuary (appropriately) on the our health and the envi- a survey of participants making the change. And, campaign (which has injustices committed ronment. in the 2018 campaign, as as is so often the case FELIX ISSUE 1713 FELIX ISSUE 1713

INVESTMENT [email protected] INVESTMENT [email protected] An Insight into ETFs - The Future of Investing Impact Investing in Africa

INVESTMENT of securities – charge INVESTMENT which includes: equity, the reality. According to higher fees (average of commodity, fixed income, a UNDP study “Impact Alexander Koh 0.51% expense ratio) Dike Dijemeni foreign exchange, proper- Investment in Africa: Head of Education ICIS relative to ETFs (average Esuabom Dijemeni ty, and derivates. Actual Trends, Constraints and Investment Writer of 0.21% expense ratio, Investment Writers numerical quantification Opportunities”, the 9 key with some brokers even and data on the market challenges facing impact offering commission-free size of impact investing investment in Africa are: ETFs). in Africa remains very 1. General lack of ndex funds refer to Moreover, the passive ccording to The limited. awareness and a mutual fund or investing nature of Global Impact The Sustainable understanding of Exchange Traded ETFs aims to track the Investing Development Goals impact investment; Fund (ETF) that performance of major Network (SDGs) framework 2. Difficulty in sourcing Itrack a specified basket indexes (e.g. S&P500 or A(GIIN), impact invest- developed by United viable investments of underlying securities FTSE100), that provides ment can be defined as Nations serves as a driving that meet both (tradable financial assets). returns that are similar investment made into force and framework financial and social/ Moreover, ETFs are to that of active fund companies, organisations, for impact investing in environmental becoming an increasingly managers that own and funds with the inten- Africa. An Annual Impact objectives in Africa; Figure1 // Impact Investment in Africa popular investment ve- a diversified market tion to generate social Investor Survey report 3. Limited availability Figure 1. The primary aim hicle amongst both retail portfolio. According to and environmental impact by The GIIN showed of innovative fund of the Impact Investment strategic marketing. and marketing impact and institutional investors. Jack Bogle, the founder of ETF’s have be driven by the demand for technology in the indutry // Euronext alongside a financial that more than half of and deal structures; in Africa Action Plan is to Uhusiano Capital’s investments in Africa More than 4,500 ETFs the Vanguard Group and the emergence of ETFs return. Hence, impact impact investors are 4. Difficulty exiting support the development capital raising team offers simple, effective, and managed over 4.46 trillion one of the pioneers of the with high leverages. the second day ($117) and does not simply match negative bias inherent to investing in Africa is the tracking some or all of investments; of a vibrant impact an innovative approach rewarding. Furthermore. USD worth of assets in index funds movement, Leveraged ETFs increases falls another 20% on the triple the underlying leveraged ETFs dictates deployment of investment their performance against 5. Poor visibility investment sector on the to raising capital for Uhusiano Capital’s 2017. ETFs, in essence, who believes in the cost- exposure to a certain last day ($93.6) with an investment performance. that such ETFs should in African companies, SDGs. Furthermore, and inadequate African continent. The exceptional projects strategic marketing are securities that are matters hypothesis that index or asset class and overall net loss of 6.4% The magnified not be held as a long- organisations, and funds there is strong appetite recognition of social overarching vision is the and/or companies by team provides strategic listed on stock exchanges posits why index funds an example would be over the 3 day period. The exposure, volatility and term investments but with intentions to gen- for impact investors to enterprise status; development of a vibrant utilising its deep and well- recommendations and and can be traded just like are so successful: The triple-leveraged ETFs triple-leveraged index should be used instead erate social, health, and catalyse impact investing 6. Lack of capital impact investment sector entrenched experience deep insights for making stocks. An ETF tracks a net return to an investor that triple the exposure increases the exposure by professional traders environmental impact towards SDGs. However, supply across the in Africa. The stated in the impact investment meaningful marketing basket of securities that is equal to the gross for an investor. Some by 3 times, i.e. a loss “More than who use them as a hedge alongside a financial the United Nations risk/return spectrum; vision is further supported community in African of impact investments in could range from indexes, return in the market as popular triple-leveraged of 20% is magnified to against big market moves return. It is important continues to argue the 7. Inadequate policy with five key intermediate markets. By utilising its Africa. stocks, bonds, to even a whole, less the costs ETFs would be Direxion 60%. Suppose the triple- 4,500 ETFs in the short term. Jack to note that categorical case for more capital and and regulatory outcomes and a supporting innovative capital raising In conclusion, Impact commodities. Popular of obtaining that return. Daily Financial Bull 3X leveraged index starts at Bogle criticised leveraged impact investing in Africa investment deployment environment; pan-African action plan approach, Uhusiano Investment in Africa has ETFs include the SPDR (Surprisingly, Jack Bogle share (Ticker: FAS) or $100, at the end of the first managed over or inverse ETFs investors is significantly different to drive and grow impact 8. Poor linkages and action network as in Capital is able to bridge a gigantic potential to S&P 500 ETF (SPY) that is not a staunch supporter ProShares UltraPro Short day, it increases by 90% 4.46 trillion as “Fruitcakes, Nut Cases from charitable aids given investing in Africa and on between social Figure 2. the gap between impact revitalise, recapitalise tracks the S&P500 Index, of the efficient market S&P500 (Ticker: SPXU), ($190), decreases by 30% and Lunatic Fringes”. to Africa as the latter a global scale. The UN enterprise, investors, One of the leading investors and impact and rejuvenate Vanguard Total Stock hypothesis that postulates with FAS holding a long on the second day ($133) USD worth While broad-based ETFs does not usually drive estimates that USD 5-7 and innovation UK impact investment opportunities in a unique African economies, Market ETF (VTI) that the best way to beat the position for financial and decreases by 60% can act to diversify risk, investment / financial trillion is needed annually networks; and firms with an African and transformational way. African projects, tracks the market-capital- market would be to invest sector stocks and SPXU on the last day ($53.2). of assets in retail investors need to be rewards for the charity to achieve the goals. 9. Poor and inconsistent focus is Uhusiano Uhusiano Capital’s African businesses isation weighted index of solely in the indexes.) holding a short position Overall, the net loss to an wary of exotic ETFs that giver. Impact investment Impact investing impact measurement Capital Ltd. Uhusiano capital deal flow and most importantly, the entire U.S. equities Given that passive index for S&P500 index. investor would be 46.8%. 2017” tend to suffer from higher in Africa attracts a broad has been hailed as a practice. Capital is a boutique, origination team are world African people. market, and the United funds provide a similar Nevertheless, leveraged This demonstrates the volatility. range of investors, pri- transformational and regulated, financial leaders in harnessing the However, fundamental States Oil Fund (USO) return to active fund ETFs have a multitude negative bias of a triple- marily fund managers, revolutionary investment In order to address the advisory firm based in vast global network to understanding of the that tracks the price of managers at a much lower of flaws and inherent leveraged index which development finance methodology for highlighted challenges London with a specialist support impact investors, conceptual imperatives West Texas Intermediate administrative cost, the riskiness associated with institutions, institutional revitalising and growing facing impact investment team primarily focused whether new or well- of Impact Investing (WTI) light, sweet crude net return for a passive them. Naïve investors investors, and founda- African economies. in Africa, the Impact on impact investment in experienced, to clearly in African and the oil. index fund would be would believe that triple- tions. There is a broad However, the vision is Investment Action Plan Africa. Uhusiano Capital and objectively identify practicality and nuisances Since ETFs are traded higher than the net returns leveraged ETFs would range of asset classes increasingly distant from was developed as shown in addresses the capital the most talented and of impact investing in on the stock exchange, for active investing with produce triple the daily needs for African-based undiscovered mangers Africa is central and at they are priced and traded fund managers in the long return for the underlying projects and opportunities. and projects in order to the heart of whether or continuously throughout run. investment (i.e. triple The firm is driven achieve their investment not impact investment a trading day. Moreover, With the rising the return of the index in by a strong founding objectives: financial and will deliver on its lofty ETFs can be sold short popularity of ETFs, a the long term). However, principle grounded in the social/impact gains. potentials in Africa. A or bought long and are multitude of niche ETFs in the long term, such fundamental belief that Navigating the African strong belief in innovative traded just like stocks. targeted at niche areas leveraged ETFs have a commercial capital and impact investment and philosophical driven One main advantage of the market such as the negative bias and would impact/social capital can ecosystem is challenging, firms with Africa-focused that ETFs offer is the biotech and healthcare rarely match triple the come together to generate difficult, and sometimes impact investment low-cost diversification sector e.g. HealthShares underlying investment sustainable long-term almost impossible. and Africa expertise to minimise unsystematic Emerging Cancer ETF or performance. Let’s projects/funds/products Uhusiano Capital’s like Uhusiano Capital risk during investing. For even socially responsible demonstrate this in the in Africa. Founded in strategic marketing team plays a significant role instance, mutual funds – ETFs catered towards following example: 2016 and incorporated over the years have in translating impact professionally managed ESG investors. suppose we are tracking in 2017 by Christelle developed revolutionary investment concepts into investment funds which Since ETFs are an index that starts at Kupa, Uhusiano Capital strategic marketing financial returns and pool small sums of generally more passive $100 and increases by has grown to establish solutions and impact social/environmental money from various retail and track a basket of 30% on the first day its expertise in three key investment advisory impacts in African investors to buy a basket securities, this has led to ($130) and falls 10% on domains: capital raising, teams and services economies. Will the Fed continue down its hawkish path? //Global Investors Figure 2 // Impact Investment in Africa deal flow origination and to make navigating 20 21

FR IDAY, 8 TH FEBRUARY, 2019 – Fake News! – ISSUE 1713 FELIX ISSUE 1713

HANGMAN [email protected] Hangman Campaign to rename university ‘Community College London’ sees Queen’s Tower under seige

HANGMAN nounce the Queen’s third for everything that was cousin’s quinceañera. wrong with the Empire,” “First that Divest Imperial Negafelix The plan, hatched an said Roland For- bullshit, now this,” he Editor-in-Chief executed by the Imperial syth-Tremilton, protester said, visibly shaking with Left Forum, was under- and second-year Geology fury, “Next they’ll expect- taken by 15 students, the student. “I’d say we tear ing us be demanding us to largest showing of col- it down brick by brick, pay staff a living wage! The Queen’s Tower has lective political activism but I have a field report Ha!” been held under seige within the College, ex- due next week, so I’m He was later seen this week by students cluding the nnual Labour happy to settle for a name overheard threatening demanding College- vs Conservative paintball change.” Sonia Santabello (Deputy match. “Why do we even call it President, Figures & Sen- wide decolonisation. The students in question the Queen’s Tower?,” ex- tences), with an eternal have laid out a number of claimed Juniper Lee, sec- Meat-Free Month on demands, including that retary of the Left Forum, campus. he movement, university remove the “it should be named the Reports suggest that known as ‘Occu- term ‘Imperial’ from its People’s Edifice, or even College Overlord Janice py QT’ has seen name, henceforth to be better, ‘Tour de Corbyn’!” Fast met with presidents students holding known as ‘Community Marr Anderson, of the Investment and Tthe fort of the Queen’s College London’, in the College CFO (Chief Finance Societies in an Tower, after ambushing spirit of comraderie. Frugal Oligarch), was effort to quash the inevita- bell ringers present to an- “This College stands infuriated by the news. ble rise of the proletariat. The bells ring ‘The Internationale’// Imperial College

That damn sign taunts us all... // Imperial College ARIES TAURUS GEMINI CANCER LEO VIRGO

A day in the strife - a Xenia student’s morning struggle This week you decide This week you’re Deputy This week you piss in This week, you try This week you walk into This week you faceplant you want to start a tie President, Clubs & your housemate’s orange swapping your usual the Union office with a in the South Ken tunnel club - BNOCs only. Societies. You seem to juice. hoodie for more snazzy Snickers, forgetting it’s whilst running late for HANGMAN waking nightmare that is a short prayer to TFL, grey - not sure if that’s pa- Decades pass before the be to only one on CSPB blazer. Unfortunately now nut-free. your lectures. reality. The brutality that my Oyster card and the 8:42 If ever I wondered thetic fallacy or just all the first train arrives. Unfortunately for you, who cares about the Serves her right for eating you get mistaken for a Zack K.W. exists with existence. The Mayor of London, before how a sardine felt, the sweaty vapour condensing you’re at Silwood, so budgets. your avocado. French school kid and get You get rugby tackled by Nothing like a rush of Guest Writer jet washers at Xenia blast continuing onwards. Jubilee line answered on my eyeballs. So…many…people. your only options are a How to fire people who shepherded into class. the DPW before you even blood to the head to get off my nipples. Good that promptly. I tried to A few days later, we get Paralysed with bitterness, few chickens and ducks. works for free? Asseyez-vous! get through the door. the day started. start. Bring it on, world. 8:31. That thirty-min- type part of this article, to Westminster, glistening I don’t even attempt to get Think your 5 minute ute lie-in is coming back but literally, couldn’t in all our sweaty glory - on. Limbs stuck in doors. commute from Beit It’s 8:30. I’m out the to bite me in the backside. move my arms. Do red and slimy like a new The second train arrives. is bad? You could be door. From jump I get a hit Decisions, decisions: take Londoners enjoy rubbing born baby. The doors crisp Hopeless. At this point of pollution straight to the the escalator and descend up against one another? pneumatic seal breaks, I give up and walk to St living in Xenia. Our lungs - definitely not my into hell straightaway, or allowing the winds of James’ Park. guest fresher bemoans drug of choice. A horde to walk through the main “If ever I freedom to gush into the Laughing to myself his daily commute. of wild cyclists appear, station and prolong my carriage. The oxygen thins hysterically, cathartically, cutting through the lights suffering for two minutes? wondered how as I battle upward towards it begins to snow. ‘Why did How does it feel to under the Waterloo double To Bakerloo or not to the Circle and District I pick Xenia!?’ I cry out. commute via Britain’s overpass, charging like Bakerloo (jk that’s not a sardine felt, line. People start staring, wide LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES busiest station every day? a pack of hyenas in the even a question; we don’t Some don’t survive the eyes curious, yet devoid of I give the rundown, in all African savannah. Right talk about the Northern the Jubilee line climb. pathos. They simply don’t its ‘uncensored’ glory. on cue, a convoy of taxis line)Most days walking understand… nobody This week you are a bin. This week, you’re the This week you’re Alice This week you’re Sport This week you’re the This week, you’re the pummel through, leading through Waterloo’d be answered that 9:?? Again with the understands… Horoscopes writer. Gast. You’re disappointed Imperial. Felix Editor. You hear library security guard. It’s 8:10. My body to clashes filled with a no-go; with all those promptly.“ lack of personal space. Refer to the Sustainability to hear about 21 Savage’s that Liam Neeson’s doing screams as it’s dragged curses and seasoned with bodies outside everything A woman coughs filth in Editor’s note: Ah, the section for clarification. The stars are all chatting British citizenship - You would’ve got away promo at the Albert Hall.. They don’t pay you from slumber. Goodbye, middle fingers. Narrowly shuts down, so it’s shaping my direction. Suppressing naïveté of a fresher. Wait shit this week, so at this that’s one less potential with the money too, if it enough to deal with this sweet dreams of course- escaping natural selection, up to be a good day. “mInD tHe DoOrS!”, that the urge to vomit takes till they get to second year. point you fake it till you international student to weren’t for those pesky Guess who’s not leaving shit. work deadlines and failed I roll out my A3 tube map damn woman screeches. everything in me. It’s make it. suck dry. kids. the Felix office anytime life goals. Welcome to the at the roadside, and make Spoke too soon. Everything goes a bit almost a losing battle. soon? 24 25 FELIX ISSUE 1713

GAMES [email protected] Cultist Simulator devs come to Imperial for ICSF convention, Picocon Cultist Simulator is a triumph and Weather Factory is a studio worth keeping tabs on!

GAMES creators can’t seem to get enough of it either! Harry Black The atmosphere in Games Writer the game is perfect – the aesthetics and soundtrack combine beautifully to ultist Simulator, create a strong sense of as you can guess immersion. The music from the name, reminds me a surprising is an indie game amount of Jeff Wayne’s Cdesigned to simulate War of the Worlds album, creating and running a if that album were to be cult, which was released transposed to be about by Weather Factory on the occult rather than 31st May 2018. This is all the alien. I have found I knew when I opened the myself a couple of times game for the first time to dawdling on the title live-tweet a playthrough. screen for 15-20 minutes It’s been two weeks since at a time before actually then and I have somehow starting a run of the logged another 60 hours. game so I can listen to Cultist Simulator is a truly the music without the brilliant, and incredibly gameplay loop drawing Have you ever had the desire to start your own cult? Well here you go! // Weather Factory complex, game! my attention. When you The biggest flaw I consider that all story- have to experiment with. couple of YouTube videos feeling. (Alexis Kennedy could argue there is within telling & advancement is These cards can represent before taking the plunge. is one of the two founding the game is purely how done purely via text, it is anything from places, I promise it’ll be worth members of Weather “Alexis complex it is – and that incredible that the game to occult objects, to your time. There is a Factory, alongside Lottie Kennedy and it makes no attempt to has an atmosphere at all, members of your cult, or quote from an anonymous Bevan.) hold your hand. For this even the police detective fan on Weather Factory’s If you are at all in- Lottie Bevan reason, I’d advise against trying desperately to find website that I rather like: trigued by the narratives are two of the going into the game “After 62 hours the right evidence to shut “How to tell if you’re in weaved within this game, knowing as little as I did down your cult. You’d be an Alexis Kennedy story: or the visuals, or in fact wonderful – you will enjoy the game I don’t think forgiven for thinking the There is no right choice. anything at all that this much more if you go into gameplay was simplistic There is no wrong choice. game has to offer (and Guests of the game with at least a I’m anywhere at first: click on a ‘box’ There is only living with you should be), then you vague idea of what the labelled something like what you’ve done…” will be thrilled to hear Honour for the gameplay pattern is and close to work, give it a card that and Cultist Simulator that not just one but both 36th Picocon how to progress towards scratching it would make sense to once again embodies this of the founding members victory. However, the do work with, wait a of Weather Factory are on the 16th complexity of this game is the surface of short period of time and coming to Imperial for also its strongest feature. be told what the outcome “In an Alexis a talk! Alexis Kennedy February” Cultist Simulator is a what this game was. Even this system and Lottie Bevan are two real passion project from is much more complex Kennedy story: of our wonderful Guests Weather Factory, which has to offer” than it appears to begin of Honour for the 36th is evident in the attention with – different card com- There is no Picocon on the 16th of need to work more puns to detail and sheer depth binations can massively February, and considering into our Picocon public- available – after 62 hours I change your outcomes, right choice. the theme this year is ity) events – including don’t think I’m anywhere let alone one that seems and some events occur ‘Intrigue’, it would be the perennial Destruction close to scratching the to perfectly conjure up its part way through the There is no pure folly to miss their of Dodgy Merchandise, surface of what this game Lovecraftian inspirations. duration, allowing you to wrong choice. joint talk! which involves smashing has to offer, and I’ve The gameplay itself add other cards into the This talk and those of odd bits of pop-culture certainly not managed to looks rather simple – you box as well and so alter There is only our three other Guests of with liquid nitrogen and beat the game yet (though have four main resources the result. Honour, each a fantastic a hammer. If any of these I’d like to think I’ve been you need to manage, I cannot overstate how living with science-fiction author, things interest you at all close). Not to mention including your money; much I recommend this will take place on 16th in then please grab yourself that the game is still going broke will cause game – if any part of it what you’ve Blackett’s Lecture Theatre a ticket from the Union being tweaked and in the you to fall ill or die. The at all seems like it may done…” 1, as well as many other store! I hope to see as process of having addi- more different actions you interest you, read up Intriguing (please forgive many of you there on the tional content added – the try, the more ‘cards’ you’ll on it a little or watch a me, but I’ve been told I day as possible. 26 FELIX ISSUE 1713

GAMES [email protected] Best Controllers For Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Conner Flynn from GadgetReview.com reviews some of the latest Smash controllers available on the market.

GAMES Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Conner Flynn Games Writer GameCube Controller

This special edition GameCube controller is reminis- uper Smash Bros. Ultimate is all the rage. cent of the original 2002 gamepad, but with the latest Nintendo Switch users have been waiting a long technology built-in. The Super Smash Bros. Ultimate time for this brawler. This game is awesome be- GameCube Controller is a wired controller, you can cause every character, throughout all the Smash easily connect it to your Switch with a USB adapter Sgames, is now playable – as well as new characters to or 8BitDo wireless adapter. This controller features an hit the scene. New features allow players to battle over outline of the Smash logo, giving it the game’s nod of multiple arenas and there are new gameplay modes to approval. I have to admit, this one is my favorite! It explore and enjoy. looks awesome with that Smash logo over black, and Fans of the game will already be familiar with the it’s hard to improve on a classic at any rate. GameCube Controller, and now there’s a new Super Smash Bros. Ultimate GameCube controller available for sale. Many, though, will only play this game using a Gamecube style controller; if that’s your preference, Hori Nintendo Switch Battle Pad here are some great choices! The Hori Nintendo Switch Battle Pad connects to the Switch with a USB port, but the technological precision of attack functions are just insane. You can also custom- ize the shoulder buttons to adapt to your favorite form of gameplay. It also packs in Switch system buttons like home, screenshot and +/-. The textured grip will give you better control all around. Like the others on this list, it is a popular choice for playing Super Smash Bros. The Hori comes in five different varieties, which mimic some of our favorite Super Smash Bros. char- acters. These versions include: Zelda, Luigi, Pikachu, Princess Peach and Mario. They come in bright colors and all of the controllers, except for the Pikachu model, are translucent.

PDP Nintendo Switch Pikachu Wired Fight Pad Pro Are you a Pokemon fanatic? Gotta catch ‘em all? Or do you just love Pikachu yellow? Either way, you’ll love this Pikachu Wired Controller, which combines the best of the GameCube and Hori Controllers. The PDP PowerA GameCube Style Wireless has system buttons, such as home, just like the Hori, and has a USB connection. What make it unique is the Controller for Nintendo Switch detachable full-size analog stick that can be swapped Being the only wireless GameCube controller out for the C-stick. That alone makes this controller licensed by Nintendo, the Power A GameCube con- very versatile. This is the Smash Bros. controller of troller is the latest and greatest, improving on some of choice for Pokemon fans. My new motto? Gotta Smash the features of past GameCube controllers. It runs on ‘em all. two AA batteries and comes in three different colors. Another cool feature is the LED light that displays the While all of these controllers have very similar player number, which also flashes to show you when buttons and designs, they each have a unique feature your battery needs to be replaced. For those who are not that differentiates them from one another. Each is a great fans of replacing batteries, there is also a wired model choice for beating the hell out of your friends (all in fun available. It’s also worth knowing that this is the only and in-game of course!) Your choice may come down GameCube controller that can still be used when the to a particular must-have function, or just be because Switch is undocked, without using an adapter. It’s easy that particular controller comes in your favorite color. to see why this controller is a hit with the fans! Either way, you’ll have a blast playing Smash Bros. Ultimate with any of these. No matter which you choose, in the end, all that matters is that you have a fun time playing the game – and that you win of course! So get your headset on, grab your controller and fight! 27 FELIX ISSUE 1713

GAMES [email protected] Smash Corner-R.O.B- Nintendo’s off-brand Johnny 5

GAMES Super Smash Bros. Brawl the stage, preventing your and is now stronger than opponent from simply ever in Ultimate. He is a climbing up the ledge. Michael Cognet versatile, heavy character But in general, you should Games Writer with great long- and short- use it to harass them from range options. afar. R.O.B.’s most impor- Even if your opponent ormally known tant tools are his specials, comes too close, R.O.B. as the Robotic starting off with his neutral still has many powerful Operating Buddy, Robo Beam, which fires options, especially with he is without a a directable laser. This his side special, Arm Fdoubt the most mysterious projectile will keep oppo- Rotor. It unleashes a Terminator 6: When Good Robots Go Bad // Nintendo and unique character of nents away with its decent series of quick attacks to hit your opponent with of attacks depending on As a personal favourite, the roster, fighter #42, knockback, but can’t be whilst spinning forwards, a fiery blast. All of this the situation. You can I have to say that R.O.B. R.O.B. used in rapid succession. followed by a finishing can even be done safely perform tilts or jabs to get is one of the best and most Never actually taking Its power recharges pas- blow which can kill at off-stage thanks to his some free damage or try enjoyable fighters to play. part in a game of his own, sively, maxing out when 100%. And for the cherry up-special Robo Burner, an up-smash to go for the But objectively, he does R.O.B. was designed as the red LED on top of on top, this move can also one of the best vertical kill, if they are at a high have a lot going for him, a revolutionary gaming R.O.B’s head is flashing. reflect projectiles if timed recovery moves in the percentage and you are with a lot of versatility, companion for the original Next comes the heart of right, a lesser known fact game. It will, however, fast enough. But for all power and potential, NES. He began as a me- his kit, his down-special, a that can take many oppo- need some downtime to you Elite Smashers out raising his status up to chanical toy whose goal charged attack which fires nents by surprise. recharge its fuel gauge, so there, R.O.B. also has a high-tier. However, he was to hype the launch a spinning Gyroscope in And that’s not all, use it sparingly. masterful zero to death can be easily punished if of the console more than front of him. Not only because R.O.B.’s side- In addition to his leg- combo. It makes use of you are too predictable having a practical or even can this projectile stay on smash has decent range, endary off-stage mobility his Gyro, neutral-air and due to his large hit-box, so remotely useful purpose, stage to add pressure, but making it the perfect tool and edge guard, R.O.B. side-special to erase one make sure to use all your with only two games sup- R.O.B. (or an opponent) to hit hard whilst at a rea- possesses an insane of your opponent’s stocks options and mix things up porting him. Despite his can pick it up to throw sonably safe distance. You combo game. Simple yet in the right conditions to successfully destroy poor applicability, R.O.B. it again in any direction. can then follow up with effective, both his down- (check out Beefy Smash your opponents! managed to make his first One trick is to launch the your neutral-air, which and up-throws can be Doods’ video for the exact on-screen appearance in Gyro on the very edge of you should be using a lot, chained with a multitude guide). Smash Corner-Jigglypuff- The Elvis of the PokéWorld

GAMES tained hitbox which stay free 14% and probably out for quite a few frames, more if you get off a quick meaning they are excellent forward or neutral- air. Freddie Ugo at punishing the opponent Speaking of her neutral Games Writer for approaching at the air, it’s a great ‘get off me’ wrong time. You should tool, coming out almost his pink puff aim to string forward airs instantly and lasting ball originated in together when you want to nearly half a second. 1996 as one of get the opponent off stage All of Jigglypuff’s the first original at low percent. Her back aerials are made extreme- T151 Pokémon. However, air has insane knock-back ly good by the fact she has it was her popularity in and should be prioritised the fastest air speed in the the anime that got her into at high percent; careful game, coupled with her 6 Jigglypuff having an allergic reaction // Nintendo the first Smash game, and though, as using this jumps! chance to hit the opponent damage and knockback, mid-tier. While she does every game since. While mid-air causes Jigglypuff Jigglypuff’s special with this, chances are you while also coming out have insane kill power not being as amazing to turn around. moves are very hit or could have just forward nearly instantly. But if it and great off-stage game, as she was in Melee, Jigglypuff’s up-air is an miss. Her neutral-special, smashed them for the kill. misses, Jigglypuff falls her limited pool of useful Jigglypuff has definitely amazing juggling tool at Rollout, charges up a Her side special Pound asleep, and so you should moves combined with her improved over her last mid percent and can even rolling attack that shoots should be used if the only use rest if you know being one of the lightest couple of iterations. combo into itself. It is not you forward in a line. opponent shields a lot as it will hit. Therefore, if characters in the game The main game plan a great kill option though, While sometimes useful it does massive shield you hit the opponent to the makes it difficult to win with Jigglypuff is to wall so just use this to rack up as a recovery option, this damage, but is otherwise ground and they tech in a the abundance of unfa- out the opponent with an damage. should be avoided as it is not a great option. direction you predicted, vourable matchups she onslaught of aerials while If you find your very predictable, and a hit Rest however, being you can chase them and has. Nevertheless, if you also setting up tech-chase opponent is attacking you does not do much. Simi- Jigglypuff’s down special, rest for the kill. There are put the time into getting situations that can result while you’re in shield a larly, Sing (her up-special) is what makes her terri- some specific rest set ups good with her you can in a rest K.O. (more on lot, a great option is to does not have much use. fying in the hands of a that “OneShadyPuff” goes definitely wipe the smirk this later). jump out of your shield It makes the opponent fall skilled player. If you are into detail on in YouTube. off your enemies’ faces. Jigglypuff’s forward air and immediately down asleep, allowing you to hit overlapping a character, Overall, I would put Happy smashing! and back air have a sus- air. If done right this is a them, but if you have the it will cause massive The Balloon Pokémon in 28 FELIX ISSUE 1713

PUZZLES [email protected]
      FUCWIT 1 Maxiane 62 1 Trollheim 62 SUDOKU 1 Wooloomooloo 62  Fill all the boxes with a number between 1 4 DQ 61 and 9. A number can only appear once in a 4 Shark 61 row/colum, and only once in each sub-box. 6 Fleesh and the tooters 57 7 Big H’s Boys 56


7 Yeet Infection 56
  9 KBLB 55    10 Rock, Flag & Eagle 54




 11 S. B. S. 48    12 O1G 43
 30 Jumpering for joy 9   Send your solutions to fsudoku@imperial.

 ac.uk before Wednesday midday to take  
part in the leaderboard!  Points available 
 Crossword 6    Sudoku 3 Shikaku 2    Nonogram 5      Total 16 Last week’s solutions

CROSSWORD Down
     


 

       1. Reap (7)



 
   





  
      Across 2. Stomach wound (5)
  


       
 1. House has high EMF (7) 3. Natural disaster (7)


   

 



    
   

 



5. Zappy weapon (5) 4. Grumpy cartoon doggo (6)  
   





  
  8. Go over again (5) 5. Spanners and hammers (5)  
    





        
   
    9. Study of ears (7) 6. There’s no business like it (7)     
  10. Go astray (3) 7. Time crime lime (5)
        
           11. Speciality of human digit (9) 13. Leftovers (7)     12. Ferris Bueller (6) 15. Made up of parts (7)      14. World’s most thicc river (6) 16. Famous cliff with water (7)  18. Not how 20 across should be taken (9) 17. Plunge (6)  NONOGRAM 20. British fix (3) 18. Bat navigation tool (5) Colour in some of the squares to make a picture. 21. English basketball (7) 19. Backcomb (5) Each number represents a block of consecutive 22. Peruvian cameloid (5) 20. Path (5) black squares within that row/column. Each 23. Lather, _____, repeat (5) block needs to be separated by at least one white

24. Tarzan’s mum (7)   square.          
    SHIKAKU 
        
 
        
Divide the square into rectangles, such that each rec-   
    
                   tangle contains exactly one number. The numbers giv- 
en represent the area of the containing rectangle.         
 
  


  
          

 

       

  
           
         
    
     

   

  
    





29 FELIX ISSUE 1713

SPORTS [email protected] Imperial Sailing invades Warwick and takes on the Turtle Imperial Sailing brings half of the club to the sailing competition in Draycote Water, beats the strong winds, survives capsizes and effortlessly wins the social.

SPORTS On arrival, the expected strong winds, low tem- Marta Nunes De peratures and snow were Abreu thankfully not apparent ICSC Secretary right away. Ignoring the promise of stronger winds Anita Plumley throughout the day, the ICSC member boats were rigged with full sails instead of cut-downs. Our teams Imperial Blue, he weekend White and Red launched started earlier for to start racing right away. some members of Shout out to Dan’s team Imperial Sailing, spirit (Third Team crew) Tas they left the lecture for immediately after fin- theatres, packed up their ishing his race, jumping sailing bags and drove up into the car and picking to Warwick on the Friday up his sleepy teammate night. The specially ap- from the train station. pointed driver (Toby) was Apparently, driving with Wholesome squad photo. // IC Sailing trusted with towing two sailing kit doesn’t affect of the club’s boats that your driving skills. Officer) on how to become recipe of which is closely and slowly split up into were ultimately cancelled. Warwick Sailing Club The races started unbeatable. However, guarded. Upon hearing groups to make our way This came as a welcome had borrowed, and which slowly and in spite of the advice did not prove the news that this year the back to our host´s house. announcement to the would later use the mast temperamental winds very useful, as one of the teams would be allocated The accommodation many hungover sailors. of one of them. and confusingly marked freshers managed to sail with a certain number provided seemed too Boats were speedily Whilst the group locations, our teams were down the opposite end of bottles, our members scarce for our 4 teams and packed up and we all partied all of Friday of the lake and missed soon started to devise a a half, leaving members bundled into our cars night and socialised with the start of the race by 4 plan to get a hold of the to get creative on how and minibuses, happy to other uni sailors, the rest “in spite of the minutes, getting the club’s highest quantity of bottles to get a good nights of finally be out of the wind. of us were aiming to get first DNS (Did Not Start) possible. sleep – we hear someone Everyone arrived home an non-optimal amount ever-changing on a competition event. Eliminator really lived managed to sleep in the safely and, went straight of sleep before the 6am The racing came to up to its name, causing bed of one of the hosts, to bed. drive on Saturday. In the winds and an end by mid-afternoon some sailors´ memories of and someone else booked Many thanks to Univer- morning, the departure confusingly when sunlight was too the night to be foggier than an Airbnb, conveniently sity of Warwick Sailing was inevitably delayed low to carry on sailing. others, accounts of the close to Kelseys. Club for organising the due to a late fresher, marked Our club was feeling occurrences vary slightly. Sunday morning came event. Special thanks to Marta, who still doesn’t optimistic about our All that is certain is that too soon for many of us, the designated club drivers know how to use an alarm locations, our performance. Overall all of the Imperial sailors along with incredibly for getting everyone clock. Imperial Blue and White made it to the curry, and strong winds. Because of (and our two fireflys) to Still, the sun was teams were (first and second team) most of us then went on to this, races were initially Warwick. Lastly, thanks starting to come out and, getting on were both tied in 1st with Kelseys (a nearby club). postponed and, after Felix to Rooster Sailing for with plenty of sailing 100% wins, and Imperial There, we procured more tried to test sailing condi- providing us with sailing freshers to spare, we well” Red (third team) showed Eliminator, played pool tions and almost capsized, kit during the year! decided to let our sleepy good improvement during fresher make her own way the day, getting 2 wins in to Leamington Spa (the getting on well. As the total. closest train station she wind built up towards the It was finally time to could find to the sailing end of the morning, the get off the wet sailing kit club). rain started and so did the and dress up for the curry With a minibus packed capsizes from our fourth social. As per tradition the and another car filled to team – Imperial Kobra social at The Turtle, there the brim, we made a start Hurricane. The team was copious amounts of at 7am and managed to proved itself to be more Eliminator prepared for have all of 25+ sailing than nine social sailors, as all the sailors. This is members in Draycote they attentively listened the famously alcoholic Water for a 9.30am to their coach – James cocktail prepared by briefing. McLeod (Development Warwick students, the Sailing the high seas. // UWSC 30 FELIX ISSUE 1713

SPORTS [email protected]

Fresher Matt Ryan competes in the BUCS XC Diving Championships // ICXCAC Wat-er Race! BUCS Cross Country Championships 2019 sees some spectacular diving action as “optional” lake feature provides joy to spectators and runners alike

SPORTS blue and red were hastily 7th place, followed by Lastly, a total of 522 their best recipes. called “The Imperial”. put into position as they Alex Mundell in 61st runners set off for the Before leaving our It was now time to Alix Vermeulen approached the race position and Kate Olding Men’s B (for “Banter”) camp and taking down the head for the famous ICXCAC Member location. in 81st, together with race where the rest of the flag, it was time for the BUCS XC after-party at Upon arriving at Bicton admirable achievements boys proudly represented classic team photo with an Lemon Grove (University n Saturday College the squad had time from the rest of the Imperial. additional feature: BUCS of Exeter’s version of 2nd February, to scout out the route, with women’s team. After the lake feature bandanas made from Metric) for some boogie! at 5:45am, particular areas of interest The second of the three saw Women’s Captain some of the finest race Lots of boogie actually, 50 brave including the daunting races was the Men’s A Charlotte take a graceful tape they had managed to because with the ridicu- OICXC runners boarded (but optional) lake water race in which the 6 fastest tumble in the Women’s find on the course. lous levels of air condi- the coach, ready to set feature followed by a men from each university race, it was fresher Matt After a refreshing tioning it was probably off and compete in the steep hill climb and the competed. Ryan’s turn with a leg- shower and well-deserved colder on the dance floor BUCS Cross-Country dreadful incline to the Unfortantely, the air- endary dive worthy of an rest, the dress code had than outside… Championships hosted by finish. horns were left airless Olympic gold (see photo changed. Blue and red The following morning, the University of Exeter. With their numbers after the Women’s race montage above). racing vests off, matching many of the team asked At 6:06am, a not-so- and game face on, the thanks to the phenomenal Overall, there were tie-dye T-shirts on. themselves whether their brave ICXC over-sleeper women kicked off the day support and cheering for again fantastic results The team then headed sore legs were from the arrived and the club was of competition with their the rest of the team. This that saw Joe Pomfret in for dinner at an unlimited race or from the outra- finally able to depart. 6.7km race set to start at meant that the valiant 126th position, finishing Chinese buffet (fries, geous shapes cut on the After another 3 solid 12 sharp. supporters now had to rely with exactly the same curry, cakes, haribos - dancefloor. They may hours of sleep on the bus Just like the racers, solely on cow bells, vu- time as Thomas Bayley was it really Chinese?), never know. to finish off the short the spectators were vuzelas, a megaphone, and in 127th, former Club passing by Exeter’s Before departure for night, the athletes began also warmed up and their voices to motivate Captain Matt Douthwaite Cathedral and admiring London, some were brave to wake up and admire ready, along with their the runners around this in 130th and current Club the longest uninterrupted enough to venture into the the snowy rolling hills of megaphones, cow bells, gruelling course. Captain Fergus Johnson vaulted ceiling in England blinding sunshine quickly Devon. vuvuzelas and air horns. After an extremely in 137th. Likewise, all the on the way. enough to see Exeter’s Luckily, the sun was With 619 women lined speedy race, the 1st boys were triumphant and Dinner was filled cathedral in all its glory. shining and despite the up and ready to go in the Imperial athlete home congratulated for their with lots of ear, calf, and The club would chilly weather forecast biggest race of the day, was Luke Caldwell in remarkable efforts. bicep touching along with like to congratulate all everyone was buzzing to they could expect plenty an exceptional 11th As is tradition, post- more merry antics such the runners for their reach their destination of congestion and lots of place, followed by a race baking was in order, as eating a spoon full of stellar performances on and conquer the course pushing and shoving to top 50 for Dan Mulryan and after BUCS XC it a spice or herb that best Saturday and wish them in what promised to be a make their way out of the who finished 49th, Niki was more like a feast. represented oneself. well as they go again in thrilling day of racing. pack. Faulkner in 57th, Oliver Pistachio cake, croissants, Before heading towards this Saturday’s famous For the girls, braids, Impressive perfor- Newton in 126th and millionaire shortbread, the final destination of the Hyde Park Relays and hair ribbons, and glitter mances included GB first-time A-racer Charlie brownies, cookies; night, the team took a after-party. displaying Imperial’s athlete Dani Chattenton’s McFadzean in 148th. everbody had prepared mandatory stop at a pub 31 FELIX ISSUE 1713

SPORTS [email protected] Super Bowl LIII: GOAT defeats Rams The events that took place on 03/02/2019 will not go down in history, well at least not for any good reasons…

SPORTS which is the most by any CV, adamant to play till player. Ever. His legacy 45 years old. Imraj Singh and impact on football The yearly routine also Sports Editor is far-reaching and comes with the klassik those with no interest in portrayal of the Patriots Football still know of the as underdogs. “Everyone legend quarterback Tom thinks we suck, and you 13 3 Brady. This does come at know, can’t win any New Los a cost, as he gets older he games. … So, we’ll see, England Angeles is starting to trip on his it will be fun,” Brady told Patriots V Rams own legacy. Greatness is expected and perfection is assumed, and although “Brady’s super ield general Tom not always charismatic, Brady marches the novelty of winning the bowel creates down the field Super Bowl is obviously throwing short wearing thin. In the post- so much crap, Fbullets and long bombs. game interview, he said: if you gave him Precise, calculated, “We’ve, uh, been this far commanding and highly and lost, which is really an enema he’d efficient. Ain’t no mercy tough,” then added, “I What the internet really wanted. // Imgur/codfish787 for the weak. wish we’d played a little only weigh This is the demi-god better on offense, but been 1st in their division bleurgh. Patriots win, played at Super Bowl LIII quarterback of yesteryear we won… Super Bowl 5lbs” sixteen times since he bleurgh. Most consec- half time show. Over a who overcame the largest champs.” I can imagine took the position of head utive drives ending with million people signed the point deficit ever recorded a half-hearted fist pump CBS after the Patriots’ coach in 2000. They are a a punt in Super Bowl petition and the stadium’s in Super Bowl history. with a “Woooooo!” after divisional-round win over dynasty, with an ethos that history (Rams), bleurgh. social media accounts also He cemented his place that statement. Maybe this the Chargers. Fam, you can be aptly summarized Fewest points scored by hinted that they’d play the in the hall of fame and speaks to his exhaustion are part of the longest by Belichick’s words after the winning team in Super song, and they did! Well… is the greatest of all time after the game, or his dynasty in Football they won Super Bowl LI: Bowl history, bleurgh. It Sort of. They played a (GOAT). Period. What’s overcritical-ness and history. Brady’s super “As of today, and as great was a punt-a-thon (making 5 second version which he doing now? This week pursuit of perfection, but bowel creates so much as today feels and as great the title of this piece a bit was rudely interrupted in the life of Brady he for me it speaks to routine. crap, if you gave him an as today is, in all honesty misleading, sorrry!) There by rapper Travis Scott’s polishes his super bowl After 19 years of playing, enema he’d only weigh we’re five weeks behind were NO touchdowns in comet, with which he rings, washes his cat, and -rightfully- being 5lbs. Okay, that was in the 2017 season.” This the first three quarters, appeared on the stage… drops his kids at school given the title of GOAT, excessive, but there does inexhaustible work ethic and there were the fewest This has caused mass and wins the super bowl perhaps the routine of seem to be a Patriot fran- is what gives the Patriots a touchdowns and fewest hysteria on the internet. for the sixth time… year-on-year NFL makes chise conspiracy to paint winning season year after points scored in Super Yes, Brady has the thought of retirement themselves as underdogs. year. Bowl history. Just gross. I done it again. Brady is more appealing. He has With Bill Belichick at the The franchise is able don’t even want to analyze “They played now the proud owner of nothing left to achieve, helm, Patriots have won to create pro-bowl level player contribution or dive his sixth Super Bowl ring, and is just padding his six Super Bowls and have athletes from those over- into anaylsis about the a 5 second looked, including Brady Rams (who I have failed and Edelman, who were to mention thus far), this version which sixth and seventh round is because the game will was rudely draft picks respectively. be forgotten. Edelman was the Super There was one way interrupted by Bowl LIII Most Valuable they could have made it Player, although original- memorable, one way they rapper Travis ly playing quarterback at could have inducted it into college he transitioned to public consciousness as a Scott’s comet” wide receiver and punt day of awe and spectacle, returner for the NFL, one way they could have and was overlooked by scribed it into annals of Leading to SpongeBob many teams. The Patriots time. That would have fans and sympathizers recognize tenacity and been with SpongeBob. disliking NFL’s YouTube ambition, and channel it A few months ago the videos so much they had to develop these players creator of SpongeBob to re-upload them. Ah the into superstars. It isn’t just SquarePants, Stephen internet. chance. Hillenburg, died. This Tl;dr: Patriots win, With all that in mind, prompted a petition to Brady is the GOAT, and this Super Bowl has been have “Sweet Victory” a the internet likes Sponge- Julian Edelman with the Lombardi Trophy. // USATODAY the most boring. It is just song from the show to be Bob. 32