Internet Safety Guide

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safe how from your child is ? sharks cyber - Tristram J. Coffin United States Attorney District of Vermont even YOUR CHILD can become a target

Tristram J. Coffin United States Attorney District of Vermont Dear Parent,

The Internet is now a significant part of our daily lives. Social networking, smart phones, shopping, online gaming, chat rooms, banking and all kinds of daily tasks are now performed almost exclusively online. The Internet, in this role, has become a life line to our friends, family and the world.

Although the Internet is an important tool for us, it is far more than that for our children. Whether we like it or not, the Internet is a major component of their lives and is essential to how they interact with the world. As with all important technological advances, the Internet comes with risks. People intent on harming children have become masters at manipulating others through the use of the Internet, gaining access to and communicating with potential victims. Other children may use the Internet for electronic bullying and harassment that may be just as devastating. For our children to recognize and avoid these risks, they need to be made aware of them and given the tools to deal with them should they encounter them. If we enhance the critical thinking skills of our children, help them clearly articulate personal boundaries - whether online or offline - and nurture compassion for others, we will help our families detect unsafe situations and avoid hurting others.

Parents must be the first line of defense against online victimization. It is in this spirit that we enclose the first edition of the “Internet Safety Guide.” I urge you to read this booklet carefully and to use it as a starting point for an ongoing conversation with your children about Internet safety. It will take a community-wide effort to safeguard our children. That effort will only be successful if all parents teach online safety at home, monitor their children’s Internet activities, and talk openly with their children about the risks, even at a very young age. Your children are much less likely to be victimized if you’re actively involved in their Internet lives, working with them to understand the risks and consequences.

I hope you find this booklet a helpful resource for beginning the discussion with your children.

Thank you,

Tristram J. Coffin United States Attorney District of Vermont STEP UP: Protect Kids from Sexual Abuse The Internet is a Website: http://dcf.vermont.gov/stepup huge information source Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-649-5285 and it’s a valuable tool Child Support Helpline: 1-800-786-3214 for adults and children. However, because of its Safe at Home: Address Confidentiality anonymous nature, it is Program also a breeding ground Website: http://www.sec.state.vt.us/ for abuses from childhood otherprg/safeathome/safeathome.html bullying to identity theft Phone: to sexual exploitation. 802-828-0586 (voice and TTY) 1-800-439-8683 (Vermont only) OFFLINE, a predator will often befriend Vermont Internet Crimes against Children the parents as well Task Force (VT-ICAC) as the child, because the Website: http://www.vtinternetcrimes.org/O parents are the gatekeeper Phone: 802-540-2112 to the child.

National Center for Missing and ONLINE, there is no Exploited Children gatekeeper. Education is Website: http://www.missingkids.com your greatest tool. 24-hour Hotline: 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800- 843-5678) Phone: 703-224-2150

If you would like an Internet Safety presentation in your community or school, you can contact the office of the Attorney General at 1-802-828-3171 or your local sexual assault support center at 1-800-649-5285. 1 I don’t know... i didn’t do anything, it was already there... I just clicked on that link and...

2 hmmm ... but didn’t he write he just turned 2o?! ... it’s a cute doggie he got for me though...

3 The problem is serious: Who do predators target? >>> 1 in 7 youth has been sexually solicited online ANYBODY! >>> 1 in 3 youth has been exposed to sexually explicit pictures online without seeking or expecting them >>> 1 in 10 youth has met someone How do they lure children? face to face they met online • It usually begins in a chat room >>> 2 out of 5 youth trust the people they talk to on the • A predator pays close attention to Internet what the child is saying - within >>> More then 80 percent of youth 45 minutes they can determine where spend at least an hour a day on the child lives, goes to school, the Internet what they do for fun, what their real name is, and on and on >>> Today’s youth use chat rooms and instant messaging as their • The predator can move the primary means of communication chat from online to the phone and ultimately to a face-to-face meeting

Cyber predators are tough to spot. Remember, being the target of Who are cyber-predators? a predator has nothing to do Not who you think. with intelligence, street savvy or even how much your child knows • They are likely to have above about the Internet. It can happen average intelligence and income to anybody. The search for the potential • They may have a successful career victim usually begins in a chat • They may be married with children of room, but your child might catch their own the attention of a predator from information they have provided on • They may have no criminal history or their blog or profile on a social none related to sex crimes networking site like myspace.com. • Most are male, white, and older than 26 • They may be perceived as “the last person you would expect to be a predator” 4 person. But online, that The predator looks for clues predator can claim to be Prince about the child: what they or Princess Charming because like to do, the type of music it’s easy to lie online. they listen to, what they do for fun, and how old they are. Over time, the predator can Much of this is often in the develop a relationship with child’s user name. A predator the child and build trust with pays close attention to what him/her. The predator will the youth is saying in a chat ask the child to keep their room or what they have written relationship secret. Later the and posted online. predator can use the secrecy as a weapon against the The predator can then ask child - threatening him/her with to be included on the child’s telling their parents or even “buddy list” and be able to harming the child if he/she tell every time the child is tries to end the relationship. online. A buddy list is a feature that keeps the names IN REAL LIFE, a predator can and addresses of others who befriend the parents as well are contacted frequently in a as the child, because they are chat room, somewhat like a chat the gatekeeper to the child. room address book. When a user ONLINE, there is no gatekeeper. signs into an instant messenger Chat rooms that attract youth service, their screen name also attract predators. will automatically appear in the “buddy list” of anyone At some point, the predator else online who has saved can move the relationship their online ID as a “buddy.” to the next phase. They can Communication can then begin engage in phone calls with instantly. the child. The ultimate goal is to arrange a face-to-face Anonymity online allows the meeting, frequently for the predator to become a friend. purpose of a sexual encounter, In normal circumstances, your but sometimes the consequences child would never develop a are deadly. relationship with an older

5 the guy was supposed be here already ! I cannot ait to w get my new game... I mean, how cool is that: he just offered...

5 6 BRB TAW...

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CU l8r As a parent, you’re probably not up to date on the latest in online language. See how many of these 1. Age/Sex/Location common online acronyms 2. Parent over shoulder you recognize: 3. Parent alert 4. Big evil grin 1. ASL FMTYEWTK 5. Far more than you ever 2. POS 3. P911 wanted to know 4. BEG 6. One to one 5. FMTYEWTK 6. 121 7. Kiss on lips 7. KOL 8. MOTOS 8. Member of the opposite sex 9. WIBNI 9. WouldnIl t it be nice if… 10. LMIRL Il 11. SAW 10. Let s meet in real life 12. TAW 11. Siblings are watching 13. WTGP 12. Teachers are watching

13. Want to go private?

Don’t feel bad if you don’t. A national survey showed that only between 4 and 8 percent of adults could correctly identify the acronyms. RU safe? q 8

CU l8r Here’s an exampleP of an online chat that a child could experience and how it Child: my mom sux! its her falt can move to the next level: A that my parents are gettin divorced 4 B Predator: i no. my parents r2. Child: we never have $$ nemor A Child starts chat, expresses (“We never have money anymore.”) feelings that the predator can easily Child: evry time i need sumtin she pick up on. says the same thing “we cant aford it” B Predator begins “grooming” by Child: when my parents were 2gether expressing empathy to gain the i could buy stuff child’s trust. C Child: now i cant D Predator: me to. i hate dat. C Child further expresses trust in Child: i w8ed 6 mos for this game the person he/she is chatting with, to come out encouraging the predator. (“I waited 6 months for this game to come out.”) D Further expression of empathy Child: my mom promisd me wed get it. from predator. Child: can i get it now? nope. Child: we dont have enuf $$$. E The child’s frustration is evident to E my mom sux! the predator who takes full Predator: wow. dats tuf advantage of the child by portraying F Predator: i hav a realy cool uncle himself as a trusted confidant. Predator: buys me things all the time Predator: he has lots o $$$ F Predator offers a way to entice Child: ur sooooo lucky! the child. Predator: i got an idea. ill see if hell by it 4 u. G Of course, there is no “rich uncle.” The Child: really? thx man! predator gives that impression to Predator: brb gonna call him the child by waiting for a period of time G (“Be right back. I’m going before sending his next message. to call him.”) 9 Z

Z Predator: w00t! he said k H H Predator expresses excitement, tells the

Child: wow realy? thx i cant child the “uncle” will buy the game. bleve it. Z Predator: where do u live? I I Predator starts asking for clues about Child: brlngtn, vt u? the child, begins the process of scheming (“Burlington, Vermont. You?”) to find out where the child is to arrange Predator: georgia, vt uncle 2. ne a face-to-face meeting. malls near u? (“Georgia, Vermont. J Uncle, too. Any malls near you?”) J The predator will place himself in close Child: university mall. K proximity to the child, regardless Predator: ive herd of that one. of his actual location. Saturday ok? Child: sounds good. lly just determined the Z Predator: b ther at 12 K Child has actua L Child: k. meet at the game store. final meeting place without realizing the Predator: k! danger he/she is in, even though trust Child: well g2g. thx again dude has been built up with the new “friend.” (“Well, got to go. Thanks again, dude!”) L Predator finalizes the meeting. Child: this is awesome! Child: TTYL! (“Talk to you later!”) M The predator now has all the Predator: l8r (“Later.”) M information he needs to meet the child face to face.

THE GROOMINg PROCESS } d J P{ 10 Warning Signs that Your Child C Might Become a Victim and What To Do About It

1. Your child becomes withdrawn from the family, isolates him or herself more often 4. You find disturbing Talk to your child, his/her pictures on the computer teachers, consider counseling. If it’s adult porn, talk to your child. If it’s child pornography, save the 2. He/she is spending more images but do not print or time online e-mail them, and contact the What is he/she doing that is authorities immediately. causing them to spend so much time online? Research for school? Chats? Downloading? 5. Your phone bill has calls Games? Use your web browser’s to unknown numbers “Internet History” to view the There are a number of tools websites that have been available online to search visited. telephone numbers. Do a reverse phone directory search 3. He/she turns off the screen online to find out whose when you walk in the room number it is. The reverse What does your child not want number search will give you a you to see? Are they ashamed name and an address that is of something? Talk to them associated with the telephone about their online activity. number. Be aware, though, that prying too much could foster paranoia in your child and lead him or her to more secretive behavior and greater isolation from you.

11 just doin oh, nothin, Il research on theIl internet forIl my paper

12 . nevermind. . my online buddy is

better anyway

13 What can you do to keep your children safe in cyberspace?

First and foremost, talk to your children openly and 6. Your child receives mail/ frankly. Be available to gifts/packages from senders answer questions and concerns. you don’t know Let them know about Internet Track the package, research dangers including identity who it is from. Use the same theft, exposure to sexually tools the abusers use to explicit or violent material, find out information about and sexual predators. them, such as reverse address directory searches, telephone Make it safe for them to come directory searches, email to you with concerns about address searches, Google people they’ve met online, searches, etc. Once the when an inappropriate pop relationship reaches this up appears or someone sends level, it’s time to intervene. inappropriate materials to A face-to-face meeting may be them and if someone harasses in the planning stages. or threatens them online.

Educate yourself and your To report an unsafe situation children about the risks online, go to websites like: involved in Internet use. dcf.vermont.gov/stepup People can pretend to be www.sec.state.vt.us/otherprg/ anyone, and their intentions safeathome/safeathome.html are oftentimes not good. www.vtinternetcrimes.org www.missingkids.org Use separate user profiles, content filtering software If you suspect a face-to-face and/or ISP filters, web meeting has been arranged, browser controls, and/or your contact local law enforcement web browser’s Internet history immediately. to monitor and filter what your child is doing on the Internet. Take the router out. See the section Tools for more information. 14 ONLINE ACTIVITIES and their 4. Posting pictures J POTENTIAL CONSEQUENCES: on the Internet 1. Filling out online In addition to allowing anyone to get a look at your child, profiles digital photo manipulation could Filling out profiles will put your child’s face on another allow abusers and bullies to see body, which could be spread all personal information about your over the Internet, or your child child, such as their real name, could be black-mailed into sending phone number, address, school more photos. name, etc. and will allow the abuser to “find” your child. 5. Posting on blogs and social networking sites 2. Downloading pictures from Because these popular online an unknown source features are virtual diaries, Downloading a picture may they give anyone online a more bring hidden viruses, which intimate look into your child’s may destroy your computer, thoughts and feelings. By reading or place “cookies” that allow postings on a blog, a bully or the sender to track where abuser can get a greater insight you or your child goes on the into a child’s vulnerabilities, Internet, as well as key stroke likes and dislikes and can trackers that may be used to “tailor” a message targeted steal your child’s identity. to your child. Even though it may take longer to learn about 3. Responding to postings your child, the posting of your that are belligerent or child’s thoughts and feelings may provide more information than even harassing an online profile. These messages are often posted by the author simply to get a reaction from people to see who will respond and to get a conversation going.

15 J 6. Chatting 8. Accepting webcam with strangers views from strangers in a chat room By accepting an invitation It’s easy to lie online to view live webcams from because a person’s identity strangers, your child could can be easily disguised, be exposed to nudity and so seemingly innocent sexually explicit material conversations can easily have which could be disturbing. harmful ulterior motives. Ask your child to never Don’t believe everything accept an invitation to view someone tells you in a chat a webcam or click on a link room. in a chat room.

7. Using a webcam 9. Arranging a face- For anyone who wished to to-face meeting with harm your child, a webcam someone met online is the next best thing to an in-person meeting. Your child could be hurt, By allowing people to view molested, raped, kidnapped or a webcam, your child is worse during a face-to-face essentially opening the encounter. shades to your home or his/ her bedroom and allowing a complete stranger to watch through that window. Anyone can use what they see to take advantage of your child. They may record the video your child sends and post it for the world to see or simply wait and use it against your child later. Hi, ASL? g 16

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CU l8r Age appropriate guidelines

Know the age rules for different • Be careful about what information sites. Then set your own standards. you give someone online, The rules and guidelines that especially personal information you establish for young kids, that can be used to find you. preteens and teens will most likely be tailored to their ages and • DO NOT meet someone in person abilities. When establishing rules that you met online. Once your and guidelines, it’s important teenager has gotten their driver’s to remember that teenagers are license or if they use public especially protective of their transportation, it can be very privacy, are the least willing to difficult for you to prevent this share what they are doing online, from happening. You might want and will be the first to tell to express how dangerous it is you that they don’t want to be to meet someone ALONE and if they treated like a child. They are more cannot be persuaded to not meet independent online, more computer someone from the Internet, to at savvy and more likely to spend time least bring a friend and meet in in chat rooms and instant messaging a public place. than other age groups. Keep this in mind when you create age appropriate • Do not download files a stranger Internet usage rules for your kids. has sent you. They can contain Also keep in mind that it is your inappropriate material or responsibility to keep your children computer viruses. safe. • Do not view the webcam of Here are some general guidelines a stranger. to impress upon your kids, although some of them apply more • Be very sensitive to what kind of to teenagers. information you put in your online profile, blog, or social network • Be extremely skeptical about (i.e. MySpace or Facebook). Don’t believing what you read on the include any information that could Internet, especially from someone be used to locate you. Remember to in a chat room. It is extremely make your blog entries private or easy to lie online, especially if for friends only. someone is trying to gain your trust so you will let your guard down. 17 yeah, but you promised you would not tell anyone! ... k fine. I will tell dad about you chatting with the weirdos all the time...

18 HONEYº i just want you to be safe.

.. all right m om... ,i understand

19 20 How to talk to your teenager about • Be supportive! Internet safety: • Visit sites with your children.D • Your teenager is gaining Clearly define for them what you independence and struggling to get consider inappropriate. Ask your away from parental control. Protect child to show you how to navigate them without alienating them by through the sites they have chosen. letting them have some independence Google your child’s name and explore while still providing parental privacy settings. guidance. Be involved with what they are doing on the Internet Learn about the Internet. with appropriate respect for their Don’t put your head in the sand. privacy. Make sure they still feel Study. Some helpful sites comfortable talking to you about for parents are: what they do on the Net. www.netsmarz.org and www.getnetwise. org. • Teach your children to be critical thinkers. Show your teens that you Get and install filtering software trust them to make good decisions. onto your computers. These Encourage them to protect themselves websites can direct you to the by being vigilant and cautious. Ask right software that’s best for you: critical questions concerning the www.getnetwise.org/tools/ or speed, intimacy or disclosures that www.filterreview.com. an online friend pursues.

• Set reasonable expectations. If you think your child might be You can’t expect a teenager to engaged in suspicious activity on the completely avoid chat rooms, Internet: but you can expect them to not give a stranger their personal You can check the computer’s information. Internet History to see the websites that have recently been • Remember, the Internet plays a visited. You can also take the critical role in their world. If computer into a computer services you find they are doing something store. They can provide a full online you find inappropriate, diagnostic evaluation to tell choose a punishment carefully and you exactly where your computer remember that teenagers are going has been online and the types of through a difficult and exciting activities that have taken place time of change and new discoveries. online using your computer. 20 What to do if your child Internet Safety Tools for becomes a victim Parents

If your underage child A number of different tools can has received a sexual help you protect your children solicitation online, contact from the dangers of the Internet. local law enforcement officials, Although none of them are the Vermont Internet Crimes foolproof, they can help. Here are against Children Task Force a few: (www.vtinternetcrimes.org) or the National Center for Missing and • Be Accessible and Exploited Children Approachable (www.missingkids.com). • Computer Placement • User Profiles If you or your child has • Web Browser Controls received child pornography, • Viewing Internet History call local law enforcement • Filtering/Blocking/Monitoring immediately and do not delete Software the images. DO NOT EMAIL or • Filtered ISPs PRINT THE PHOTOGRAPHS! If you do, you will be committing E a crime. Be Accessible and Approachable Monitoring online behavior may If you have concerns regarding seem intrusive and insulting to your child and their safety your teen. Strong reactions, even online, contact your local concern, may seem judgmental. sexual assault support center at Show objectivity: step back, 1-800-649-5285. analyze, consider consequences. Model critical thinking. Consider personal boundaries. Show that you value their ability to detect and defend against online exploitation by developing their own critical thinking skills. Start this conversation when your children are still young.

21 Computer Placement Web Browser Controls Remember, the family computer Most web browsers have a way to is not the only line of access filter and block inappropriate to the Internet available websites from being accessed. to your children. They may Web browser settings can be also have easy access to used in conjunction with user Smartphones, school and profiles to fine tune the community computers and other level of access different users electronic devices. By keeping have on the Internet. By fine the computer in a common area tuning these controls, you can of your home, you reinforce customize the types of content the message that Internet use that each user can gain access must be responsible use and to. To get more information on that there are consequences for using these settings, consult inappropriate use. your browser’s help files.

User Profiles Viewing Internet History / Newer versions of Windows and Temporary Internet Files Apple’s OS allow for multiple In order to track your child’s user profiles to be set up. online activity, you can use Every person who uses the the Internet History and computer can have their own Temporary Internet Files to user name and password. In see what websites have been order to gain access to the accessed recently. More savvy computer, the user name and computer users can easily password are required. This delete this information allows for different levels of from easy access, but this access to be setup for each information is still typically of the different users and accessible by a computer also makes it easier to track expert. For more information and find out what each of about viewing Internet history the different users are doing and temporary Internet files, on the computer. To get more consult your browser’s help information about setting up files. user profiles, consult your computer’s help files.

21 22 Software Many different software programs available for purchase can J help make the Internet safer for your children. Some of the • Recording every key stroke options these programs can give your child makes you are: • Recording and sending you pictures of your child’s • Blocking chat rooms and/or computer screen as they are instant messaging using it • Blocking downloads • Disabling links in chat rooms Not all of these options are included in each software • Allowing only approved program. Each program is addresses to email your child different. Compare some of • Filtering websites these programs and find which • Filtering searches or one suits your needs. allowing your child to use child-safe search engines Filtered ISPs • Recording instant message Most Internet Service Providers, conversations or chat room such as AOL, Comcast, MSN conversations and Time Warner may also be able to provide you with some • Notifying you when your filtering and blocking tools child tries to access an to help protect your child inappropriate website online. Contact them for more • Limiting the time your child information. spends online • Operating in the background without your child’s knowledge • Allowing third-party rating of websites

23 J

e 23 24 S OTHER IMPORTANT INFORMATION 3 3to protect you and your family online You are responsible for what you post on the Internet. To avoid

unsafe situations for you, your family or for others, THINK BEFORE P

YOU ACT. Understand what it means to be a critical consumer of the { Internet. Tristram J. Coffin

United States Attorney } IF SOMETHING SEEMS TOO GOOD District of Vermont TO BE TRUE, it probably is. Don’t believe someone wants to give you J money for nothing.

FORWARDING A MESSAGE MAY PERPETUATE A MYTH. Don’t help spread another “Urban Legend” around the Internet. Learn the truth at websites like www. snopes.com or do an Internet search. Spreading rumors is wrong offline and it can be even more harmful online because it can spread faster.

SUCCESSFUL FRAUDS AND SCAMS LOOK LEGITIMATE. Don’t let an authentic-looking email that appears to be from your bank, credit card company, lottery commission, or representative of a will or estate fool you into revealing your personal information or sending money.

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CU l8r Dear Vermonter,

I am sure that I can’t tell you anything new about the Internet. You’ve probably used computers since you were old enough to reach a keyboard. I am also sure that you know quite a bit about being smart and safe on the Internet. As you know, there are risks associated with Internet usage. Others use the Internet to victimize people your age. I hope you will take some time to read this booklet, which will confirm two important safety points: First, it is easy to deceive online; second, when you post online, nothing is private, ever. Anyone can share everything you give them with anyone anywhere in the world.

Online danger comes from many places. You may find yourself in an unsafe situation when strangers ask to add you as a friend or when you have accidentally given out too much private information, such as your address or photographs. Sometimes, the danger comes from harassment between people you go to school with, hang out with or live near. Sometimes, it may be directed at you. Sometimes, you may be causing it without knowing you are. Any of these situations can spin out of control.

With these possible situations in mind, here are some things to remember: Don’t react. People who harass others feel powerful online. They just want to get a reaction - any reaction. Don’t join in. Instead of contributing to rumors, ask yourself, how you would feel if these were rumors about you? Sending hurtful or untrue information to others is just as bad as starting a rumor yourself. Stand up to unkind behavior. By showing the courage to speak up, you take some of the abuser’s power away. Say something supportive to the target or tell an adult you trust. Do not engage in conversation with someone if you suspect they are dangerous. Save the evidence. Save upsetting information and bring it to someone you trust. And never, ever post or send information or photos that you do not want your family, your friends or anybody else to see. The most important thing is to stay smart. Ask questions. Is this relationship appropriate? Would I disclose this information to another person if it wasn’t on the Internet? Where can I search to prove the accuracy of this statement? Would I want my teacher or future employer to see this photograph on the Internet? How do I get out of this situation if necessary? Remember, stay alert and stay in touch with people you trust. The Internet is a powerful tool that brings the world to your desktop. We all just want to make sure you use it safely and responsibly.

Thank you,

Tristram J. Coffin United States Attorney District of Vermont victor17: how about tomorrow? victor17: are you home alone again?

soccrgrl29: yeah

victor17: lets chat tomorrow

at the same time then...

1 . . . yesterday, what? no way! the COOl guy she goin to meet? was ’ did he hurt her ? 2 What’s the problem?

The Internet can be a really great get something to eat. Typically, tool, fun to surf in your spare a predator does all this while time, and totally entertaining. posing as a young adult or But remember, some things are just teenager himself. too good to be true.

Unfortunately, we live in a Who are the cyber predators? world where people sometimes take Not who you think: advantage of others. It’s good to be prepared; this may happen to a friend or a sibling or to you. >> Most are male Anything on the Internet, whether >> Above average intelligence it’s chat rooms or web sites, that >> Above average incomes attracts you and your friends will also attract abusers, bullies and >> Have a successful career predators. >> Most are white >> Have computer knowledge >>> Read on. >> Many have children of their own >> Have no criminal history Many predators, people searching related to sex crimes for young adults and teens to rape, kidnap or harm, now use the >> Most are older than 26 Internet as their tool of choice. Instead of doing research, like you are doing for that English paper, a predator uses the Internet to How they lure young people: find victims. Predators communicate through chat rooms and instant Predators use the anonymity of the messaging seeking to develop Internet to talk to young adults. relationships with young people. They look for clues to figure out They seek the trust of young what you like, who you are and people. When a trust forms, they sometimes, even where you live. ask to meet somewhere to check out Too often, it’s made easy because a movie, window shop or information has been volunteered by young people. 3 1/ User names / Screen names: It may not seem important, but providing this information While a user name or screen name helps a potential abuser seems like a pretty innocent learn how to become a trusted thing, it can be a gold mine friend and is unnecessary and of information for the viewers. potentially dangerous. You might think about your favorite bands, pets, hobbies and sports as part of a user reen a user name or sc name or screen name. But by When choosing doing so, what information have name, think of the game “MadLibs.” you given someone who may want Try using one of the following to hurt you to use? formulas to select a user name:

User name: >>> Adjective + noun Abercromshoper89. stuffedninja This tells the viewer that you NOT your >>> Size + animal like to shop, Abercrombie and age, phone minielephant

number or

Fitch is a favorite of yours, and that you were >>> Season + noun P address Z+ born in 1989. d summerteeth

>>> Random number + ice cream flavor User name: prisonerofhermione15. 45cookiedough This tells the viewer that you are a Harry Potter fan, >>> Actor’s name + action verb you especially like the Travoltadancing character Hermione Granger, >>> Color + foreign food and you are likely 15. pucebaklava

Armed with this information, A user name or screen name with a a person with bad intentions random selection of words such as will talk to Abercromshoper89 “Soupshoe” is much better than about shopping and a potentially descriptive identifier fashion while talking to such as “Missy1981”. Make sure your prisonerofhermione15 about user identifier doesn’t relate to Harry Potter and magic. you, your age, your school, your location,and or have your interests. fun with it!

4 NOT your see, finally age, phone someone number or address who isn t just pushing me around! ‘

5 man, I hope no or mom one finds out ’s gonna kill ! me this time...

6 2/ Profiles: teens face many problems with Profiles can provide abusers peer pressure, parents, friends and bullies with a lot of and other family members. Chat useful information. Profiles rooms seem like the perfect ask for information like your place to gripe about all those real name, birthday, address, people who are disturbing your phone number, hobbies and what life, but watch out for people school you go to. Filling out too anxious to relate. Often, this information is meant to be abusers will play on your useful to other teens and young emotions by saying they went adults who are looking for through the same thing. people to chat with who are interested in the same things. The problem is that those 4/ Selling stuff: who want to manipulate you By selling things online, you use personal information to can always make a quick buck gain your trust. Filling out off of things that you no profiles is not required to use longer use. But selling things most chat programs. To protect can also provide dangerous yourself, fill out profiles information. Sometimes, a only on sites that allow you seller will provide their to control who has access to telephone number so that people the profile. interested in purchasing can call and ask questions about 3/ What you say: the item. Predators will use Some abusers will do something your telephone number to track called “cyberstalking” (and you down. Providing your phone yes, it’s as scary as it number not only identifies the sounds). An abuser will go to state you live in, it also can a teen or young adult chat lead to your doorstep. room and pick a user name to follow through chat rooms. The abuser will slowly accumulate information about that user by simply reading what they are chatting about with other chatters. Young adults and

6 7 Their Techniques: whether you want it or hurt you. There really not, it is smart to is no way to know who Identifying a cyber stop speaking to that is your same age and predator is difficult buddy. Predators use who is an adult, but because they sound like this technique to scare being safe means ending anyone else. Chatting or befriend you. Almost communication with online can be really all of the time this any online buddy who fun and can be a quick material is unwanted, begins to harass you. way to make new friends, but if you continue to Remember, never give but it might not be the speak to this person, out too much personal safest way. Predators, they will push you to information (not even bullies and harassers do more things than just an email address) and have many techniques look at inappropriate if anything mean or that they use to material. Ending the inappropriate happens, convince you that they conversation will tell don’t be afraid to tell are just like you, can that person that you your parents or someone relate to your problems, are not interested in you trust. and would like to become what they have to offer your real friend instead as an online buddy any Threats: of your online buddy. longer. If an online buddy begins to threaten you Pretending: because you refuse to Giving you special We’ve mentioned that meet him or speak to stuff: abusers will often him anymore, the best Sometimes there are disguise themselves as thing to do is tell your things that you may teenagers and young parents or a trusted or may not want to see, adults. Sometimes they adult. Bullies exploit like Playboy pinups or will let you know that any weaknesses they can other sexually explicit they are adults, but find. Their objective is material. Sometimes most often they will to make you do what they curiosity gets the befriend want, whether or not you best of us, but safety you online as a peer. want it. Getting advice is always the most These people can be very from an informed adult important thing to convincing and, without will help you make the remember. When an online realizing what you have right decision and will buddy sends you sexually done, you may befriend make sure you stay safe. explicit material, someone who wants to

8 9 wow, thats pretty nasty... scroll down now

...tony is cute i guess, but the guy ive met on the internet last week is sooo much cooler he is 1 he said and i think he likes me 2... 8 and then he sent an email and said i look totally hot in that picture... he said he wants to meet...

10 User name tracking: • Combining a photo- • Pictures may be Searching chat rooms graph with personal fun, but make sure or reading your blogs information can make that you only post (online journals) are it extremely easy for pictures in places easy ways for anyone a dangerous person to where only people you to learn how to talk find his way to your know can view them. to you and earn your school or doorstep. Be very careful when trust. By following • Photographs can be putting your photo you through chat rooms, manipulated — your online. an abuser can gather face put onto another information about you person’s body in Email: and make you feel a sexually explicit Sometimes you meet comfortable enough to photograph — and people who you really talk to them about posted for anyone, like online and you anything, even reveal- including your want to talk to them ing secrets. Beware parents, to see. more than just in of someone who knows • It is important to chat rooms. Giving everything about understand that a out your email address conversations you have predator wants a or instant messaging been having or is picture of his prey. screen name can be a quick to say “the same He will ask for a good way to keep your thing happened to me.” photo. He may ask conversation private. for you to pose But be careful when Photographs: partially or you give out your Putting photographs completely undressed. email address. Your online is becoming If you send a picture email address is more and more popular, of yourself that you personal, and it is especially with chat would not want your unsafe to give it to rooms, blogs, and parents or friends to online buddies because online social networks see, it can be used they can use it to like “facebook.com.” to blackmail you into discover more information Unfortunately, there sending more. A pre- about you. Limit the are a number of reasons dator is trying to people who have your why photographs are control the person he email address to friends a problem: is preying on. This and family; try not to is not a relationship give it to people you about love; it is meet in chat rooms, and about control. set your chat profile so that it does not display your email address. 11 P Z

The Grooming Process.

victims. Charlie89: my mom sux!

JPredators groom their 1 The objective of grooming is its her falt that my 6 d to manipulate the victim into parents are gettin divorced behaving in whatever manner the predator wants. 2 Predator: i no. 7 my parents r2. C: we never have $$ nemor Charlie starts chat, expresses feelings that 1 3 C: evry time i need the predator can easily pick up on. somethin she says the same 2 Predator begins “grooming” by expressing thing “we cant aford it” empathy to gain Charlie’s trust. C: when my parents were 2gether i could buy stuff 3 Charlie further expresses trust in the person C: now i cant he/she is chatting with, encouraging the predator. 4 P: me to. i hate dat. C: i w8ed 6 mos for this 4 Predator continues to sympathize. game to come out C: my mom promisd me 5 Charlie’s frustration is evident to the wed get it. 12 predator who takes full advantage C: can i get it now? nope. of Charlie by portraying himself C: we dont have enuf $$$. as a trusted confidant. my mom sux! 6 Predator offers a way 5 P: wow. thats tuf to entice Charlie. P: i hav a realy cool uncle . P: buys me things all H the time P: he has lots o $$$

Z 12 13 7 C Of course, there is no “rich uncle.” The predator gives that impression to Charlie C: ur sooooo lucky! by waiting for a period of time before 6 P: i got an idea. ill sending his next message. see if hell by it 4 u. 8 Predator expresses excitement, tells Charlie C: really? thx man! 7 the “uncle” will buy the game. P: brb gonna call him 8 P: w00t! he said k 9 Predator starts asking for clues about Charlie, C: wow realy? thx i begins the process of scheming to find out where Charlie is to arrange a cant bleve it. face-to-face meeting. 9 P: where do u live? C: brlngtn, vt u? 10 The predator will place himself in close 10 P: plattsburgh, ny uncle 2. proximity to Charlie, regardless of his ne malls near u? actual location. 11 C: university mall. 11 Charlie has actually just determined the final P: ive herd of that one. meeting place without realizing the danger he/ Saturday ok? she is in, even though trust has been C: sounds good. built up with the new “friend.” 12 P: b ther at 12 12 Predator finalizes the meeting. C: k. meet at the game store. F Here’s an example of an P: k! online chat you could C: well g2g. The predator now has experience and thx again dude all the information how you might he needs to meet find yourself C: this is awesome! you face-to-face. being “groomed” by C: TTYL! a cyber predator: P: l8r g

13 RU safe?

CU l8r

WIBNI... 12-w

RU safe?

14 CU l8r RU safe?

CU l8r

Soccrgrl29 is chatting with a potential predator. WHOWHO isis itit??

LikeMikey22: Hi Bob174: Hi Soccrgrl29: Hi A Soccrgrl29: Hi b Bob174: ASL? LikeMikey22: asl? Soccrgrl29: 13/f/ Soccrgrl29: 13/f/usa.u? usa.u? LikeMikey22: 14/m/usa. u like soccer?

Bob174: 14/m/usa Soccrgrl29: yea, it’s my fave sport. i’m a forward

Soccrgrl29: mm.. guess not LikeMikey22: cool. me to :)what else do u like to do

12- Bob174: y r u not at school? Soccrgrl29: hang out with my friends, go shopping at the w Soccrgrl29: day off. yay :) mall, go to the movies. u?

Bob174: kewl. so ur home alone? LikeMikey22: skateboard, hang out, play Soccrgrl29: ya.parents r at work hackeysack, watch tv Bob174: do u have a bf? Soccrgrl29: cool. skateboarding looks Soccrgrl29: no like fun but i bet i would fall Bob174: do u want 1? LikeMikey22: it’s not that hard Soccrgrl29: yes... :) maybe i’ll

Soccrgrl29: maybe i’ll try it someday :) try it someday...

questions and wants to know if Soccrgrl29 is alone. alone. is Soccrgrl29 if know to wants and questions

But the most recognizable predator is Bob174. He asks highly personal personal highly asks He Bob174. is predator recognizable most the But The answer: Both Bob174 and LikeMikey22 could be potential predators. predators. potential be could LikeMikey22 and Bob174 Both answer: The

RU safe?

CU l8r 1 in 7 young people or expectingthem pictures online sexually explicit have been exposedto 1 in3youngpeople have received unwanted sexual solicitations online 1 in17youngpeoplehave

1 in25youngpeoplehave been P recei or harassedonline thr so without seeking ved an eatened licitation to meet somew 16 P P aggressive here

P P

he would get me in

concerttomorrow

yeah

eknows the drummer

,he said really

eah,he’s cool.

well

FORFR

tothe

.. 17

well yeah, b s t he o not the u is 1 thought guy .. . 1s l1ke and he . .. st lk don’t ka ing me now now! He s1 s 1 nope, but r ng me ca . . . tell don’t y an one!

18 19

RU safe?

CU l8r ONLINE ACTIVITIES & their POTENTIAL CONSEQUENCES:

Whether onlineb or offline, almost everything you do has a consequence. If you do it online, it, and the consequences, may be memorialized forever. Always ask yourself what the possible long term consequences could be–no matter how far-fetched. Remember, anything you post on the Internet may one day be seen by the admissions officer from your favorite college, a future employer or even a future boyfriend or girlfriend.

1. Posting pictures of yourself 3. Responding to postings that on the Internet are belligerent or harassing In addition to allowing anyone These messages are often posted to get a look at you, digital by the author simply to get photo manipulation can put your a reaction – any reaction. If face on another body, in any you do respond, you may open graphic or degrading situation. yourself to harassment. When such an embarrassing photo Don’t join in. Instead of is in the possession of an contributing to rumors, ask abuser, it can have devastating yourself how you would feel if consequences. The abuser might you were the target. Forwarding threaten to send the picture to hurtful or untrue information is your parents or spread it all just as bad as starting a rumor over the Internet unless you do yourself. Stand up to unkind as he says. behavior by peers. By showing the courage to speak up, you 2. Posting on blogs and social take some of the abuser’s power networking sites away. Say something supportive These features are virtual to the target or tell an adult diaries that give viewers a more you trust. Do not engage in intimate look into your thoughts, conversation with someone if feelings and vulnerabilities. you suspect they are dangerous. This information could be Save the evidence. Save upsetting exploited by cruel or dangerous information and bring it to individuals. Be aware of facts someone you trust. you post that identify your school, community or family.

19 4. Chatting with strangers 7. Arranging a face-to-face in a chat room meeting with someone you’ve Giving out information to met online people online is just as Since it is not possible dangerous as giving the same to know who you are really information to a stranger you talking to online, you may be meet on the street, maybe even unpleasantly surprised when you more dangerous. discover that person’s true identity. It is very possible 5. Using a webcam that the person has misled C By allowing people to view your you with the intent to harass webcam, you are essentially or hurt you, even to molest, opening the shades to your home rape, kidnap, or kill you. or your bedroom and allowing anyone to watch you through 8. Downloading pictures from an unknown source that window. Predators and Downloading a picture may harassers will use what they bring hidden viruses, which may see to take advantage of or destroy your computer, or place harass you. Once images of you “cookies” that allow the sender are online, they are online to track where you go on the forever. Internet, as well as key stroke trackers that may be used to 6. Accepting webcam views steal your identity. By accepting an invitation to view live webcams, you could 9. Filling out online profiles be exposed to unwanted nudity Filling out profiles will and sexually explicit video allow others to see personal which could be disturbing. information about you, such Remember, that 16-year-old that as your real name, phone is inviting you number, address, school to see him is more likely to be name, etc., and will allow around 50, overweight and hairy. the abusers to “find” you offline.

20 he sent me ugly pictures again - I don’t like him any more... he said he’s gonna tell my mom what we chat about if I don’t call him back though

21 Cyber safety guidelines:

Help catch abusers, bullies and Know your social networking privacy harassers and protect your friends. settings. Even if you are safe, someone you >>> You can limit access to know may be the next target. Report your information, photographs and any of the following to a local conversations. Only those you trust police officer. should be close to you online. >>> Threats, bullying, harassment >>> When starting new friendships, - save the communication by always ask yourself: Is this copying and pasting into a friendship moving to intimate text file. subjects too quickly? Is this too >>> Sexually explicit pictures good to be true? Would I answer or streaming video - that question if someone asked me do not print it or send it. face to face? Do I want my future Save the information. employer, boss or coach to see that >>> Sexual solicitation - picture? save the communication by copying and pasting into • Share these guidelines with a text file. your friends and siblings. • Don’t stay in an uncomfortable or dangerous situation online. You might hesitate to tell your parents because they may not approve of how you got into the situation. But you should realize that a bad situation could get worse if you ignore it.

You can get more information about www.netsmartz.org www.atg.state.vt.us online safety at: 22 23 STEP UP: Protect Kids from Sexual Abuse

Website: http://dcf.vermont.gov/stepup

Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-649-5285

Child Support Helpline: 1-800-786-3214

hat? really? w ’s gonna copy the latest CD for you? he said he him at the park? oh sweet, man. you are meeting Yo. Later.

23 which of these two people should dirt_rider_15 be suspicious of ? mx_racer45: hey dirt rider dirt_rider_15: hey mx_racer45: ASL A dirt_rider_15: 15/m/vt dirt_rider_15: u mx_racer45: 17/m/nh mx_racer45: darn hoping u would be girl mx_racer45: but no problem, u ride moto thou? dirt_rider_15: yeah 4 fun mx_racer45: awesome me 2 mx_racer45: what u ride? dirt_rider_15: kx250 dirt_rider_15: u? 6mx_racer45: yz400 mx_racer45: u have pic of it? dirt_rider_15: yeah, I send it. dirt_rider_15: u have 1? mx_racer45: great look n bike dirt_rider_15: yours 2 mx_racer45: I liv in manchester, nh, where u liv? dirt_rider_15: rutland, vt mx_racer45: where that? dirt_rider_15: near castleton mx_racer45: cool

mx_racer45: maybe we can rid some time

dirt_rider_15: cool

moto-boy77 is more suspect. He tries to set up a meeting and asks for pictures. for asks and meeting a up set to tries He suspect. more is moto-boy77 The answer: Both mx_racer45 and moto-boy77 could be potential predators, but but predators, potential be could moto-boy77 and mx_racer45 Both answer: The

24 25 which of these two people should dirt_rider_15 moto-boy77: Hey dirt rider dirt_rider_15: Hey moto-boy77: ASL be suspicious of ? dirt_rider_15: 15/m mx_racer45: hey dirt rider b dirt_rider_15: u dirt_rider_15: hey moto-boy77: 17/m, mx_racer45: ASL moto-boy77: 2 old for u? dirt_rider_15: 15/m/vt dirt_rider_15: no dirt_rider_15: u moto-boy77: I c u ride motocross mx_racer45: 17/m/nh dirt_rider_15: just 4 fun moto-boy77: mx_racer45: darn hoping u would be girl cool mx_racer45: but no problem, u ride moto thou? moto-boy77: I also ride 4 fun, dirt_rider_15: yeah 4 fun moto-boy77: I used to compete mx_racer45: awesome me 2 dirt_rider_15: y u stop? moto-boy77: 2 busy mx_racer45: what u ride? moto-boy77: where do you live, maybe we can go dirt_rider_15: kx250 ride sometime? dirt_rider_15: u? dirt_rider_15: I am not supposed to say mx_racer45: yz400 moto-boy77: Ok but I thought it might be fun if mx_racer45: u have pic of it? showed you some cool tricks dirt_rider_15: yeah, I send it. dirt_rider_15: I guess it would be ok dirt_rider_15: u have 1? dirt_rider_15: rutland, vt mx_racer45: great look n bike moto-boy77: Is that near burlington? dirt_rider_15: yours 2 dirt_rider_15: kinda howd u know? mx_racer45: I liv in manchester, nh, where u liv? moto-boy77: I have friend in burlington that I dirt_rider_15: rutland, vt am going to visit in a few weeks mx_racer45: where that? moto-boy77: do you want to go ridding then? dirt_rider_15: that would be cool dirt_rider_15: near castleton moto-boy77: u have pic? mx_racer45: cool dirt_rider_15: yeah why? mx_racer45: maybe we can rid some time moto-boy77: I like 2 no who I’m talking 2 dirt_rider_15: cool dirt_rider_15: o, I’ll send it dirt_rider_15: u have 1?