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Gender News, Issue 3

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Gender News is produced bi-monthly by TransSask Support Services and its volunteers (www.transsask.org). Contents: Editorial Coordinator: Mikayla Schultz - Surviving the Holidays, Page 3 ([email protected]) Production Volunteers: Vacant - Gender Confusion (Commentary), Page 5 North Area Representative (Prince Albert, - Protecting Gender, Page 6 Buffalo Narrows, La Ronge, Creighton, etc.): Vacant - Getting to Zero: Trans & HIV, Page 8 West/Central Representative (North Battleford, Rosetown, Kindersley, etc.): Vacant - New Standards of Care, Page 9 Central Representative (Saskatoon and - The 'Passing' Controversy, Page 11 Area): Vacant East/Central Representative (Yorkton, - Violence & Emergency Shelters, Page 14 Melville and Area): Vacant - Etiquette for Non-trans, Page 16 South/West Representative (Swift Current, Maple Creek, Shaunavon, etc.): Vacant South/Central Representative (Regina, Moose Jaw, Assiniboia, etc.): Mikayla Schultz ([email protected]) South/East Representative (Weyburn, As the holiday season approaches, I can not help but think of Estevan, Carlyle, etc.): Vacant the many trans-folk who find themselves alone during this time. This is not an uncommon experience, particularly for those in the midst of transition. All to commonly, being Receive news and event notices from alone goes hand in hand with building a new life for oneself. TransSask in your email inbox by sending a Sometimes loss is experienced by being disowned by family blank email to transsask- or friends. But this holiday season, you deserve better! If [email protected]; or by joining our Yahoo Group at you are feeling alone, get up off your ass and adopt new http://groups.yahoo.com/group/transsask family and friends who respect you for who you are. Invite (Yahoo account is required for this last option) this newly adopted family to your home for the holidays, or ALL Reader's Contributions are Welcome. graciously ask others to adopt and invite you. Loneliness Opinions are of the article writers and not happens when a person needs positive human interaction and necessarily those of Gender News or is not getting it. Get it! even if you have to beg for it. Being TransSask Support Services. a crossdresser, transsexual or other transgender person does Advertising: Please send all advertising not mean one's desire for family and social interactions inquiries to [email protected]. suddenly disappear. Non-transgender as well as transgender Donations welcome. Make donations payable people are not immune from what is often called the to TransSask Support Services. “holiday blues.” You have the means to combat this seasonal Gender News illness. Spread some love, and in turn you will be loved c/o TransSask Support Services. back. It's Karma. PO Box 3911, Regina SK, S4P 3R8 May this holiday season bring you joy and happiness as you For more information, to submit articles or for spend time with family and friends (adopted, or otherwise), advertising inquiries, email and the new year be filled with opportunity to be true to [email protected] yourself. DEADLINE FOR NEXT ISSUE: January 15, 2012 With much love, Mikayla The holidays can be a stressful time for gender variant people and their families, but there are several strategies that you can use to help reduce stress and create a happy holiday this year. • Don’t assume you know how somebody will react to news of your gender identity — you may be surprised. • Realize that your family’s reaction to you may not be because you are transgender. The hectic holiday pace may cause family members to act differently than they would under less stressful conditions. • Remember that “coming out” is a continuous process. You may have to “come out” many times. • Don’t wait for your family’s attitude to change to have a special holiday. Recognize that your family needs time to acknowledge and accept that they have a transgender family member. It took you time to come to terms with who you are; now it is your family’s turn. • Let your family’s judgments be theirs to work on, as long as they are kind to you. • If it is too difficult to be with your family, create your own holiday gathering with friends and loved ones. • Be gentle with your family’s pronoun “slips.” Let them know you know how difficult it is. Before the visit... • Make a decision about being “out” to each family member before you visit. It is best not to come “out” to family members during larger gatherings. • Have alternate plans if the situation becomes difficult at home. • Find out about local LGBTQ resources. • If you do plan to “come out” to your family over the holidays, have support available, including PFLAG and/or TransParent publications and the number of a local PFLAG chapter. During the visit... • Focus on common interests. Your gender identity does not have to be the main topic for discussion. • Reassure family members that you are still the same person they have always known. • If you are partnered, be sensitive to his or her needs as well as your own. • Be wary of the possible desire to shock your family. • Remember to affirm yourself. • Realize that you don’t need your family’s approval. • Connect with someone else who is transgender—by phone or in person—who understands what you are going through and will affirm you along the way “With my crazy family, I make sure to have a friend on speed dial or someone I can text. Don’t let yourself get overwhelmed, and make sure that there’s at least one person you can turn to in case of a stressful situation.” – a transgender youth Throughout the coming weeks, consider engaging some of the following strategies for getting around potential sources of the "holiday blues": • Keep your expectations for the holiday season manageable: Be realistic about what you can and cannot do-as well as what you want to do and don't want to do. Set realistic goals for yourself; make a list and prioritize the most important activities; ask for and accept help; simplify! • Remember the holiday season does not banish reasons for feeling sad or lonely: During the holiday season, there's room for feelings such as sadness and/or loneliness to be present along with other more joyful emotions. • Limit predictable sources of stress: If you feel the annual trappings of shopping, decorating, cooking and attending social events risk becoming overwhelming and stressful, use discretion and limit the activities you commit to. • Don't fall prey to commercial hype: Recognize the ads and commercials as hype that manufacturers and stores have to do to benefit optimally from the season. You can show love and caring in lots of thoughtful ways which don't cost a lot and that make the holidays all the more meaningful and personal. • Get together with friends and family members: As much as possible, share the holidays with friends and family members in person, as well by phone, e-mail, and mail. The holiday season can also be a good time to contact someone you have not heard from for awhile. • Attend holiday community events: Most communities offer special events during the holidays, such as theatrical and orchestral performances, that can be enjoyable to look forward to and to attend. • Join a social group: Feelings of loneliness and isolation can often be remedied by participating in activities with others. This can also help in opening up the potential for making new friends. • Engage in volunteer activity: Helping others is a pretty foolproof method of making the holidays feel more meaningful. There are many volunteer organizations that need extra help during this time of year. • Enjoy activities that are free: Financial strain can be the cause of considerable added stress during the holidays, however, there are many ways of enjoying the season that are free, including driving or walking around to admire holiday decorations, going window shopping without buying, making a snowperson with children, and attending free concerts. • Don't abandon healthful habits: Don't feel pressured to eat more than you're accustomed to just because it's the holiday season. • Make the time to get physical exercise: Exercising, for example, aerobics, walking, skiing, hiking, yoga, or swimming, can help burn away a lot of stress as well as the extra calories of holiday meals. • Remember that life brings changes: As families change and grow, traditions often need to adapt to the new configurations. Each holiday season is different and can be enjoyed in its own way. • Spend Time With Supportive and Caring People: In all of the ways listed above, it cannot be emphasized enough how important it can be to spend the holiday season in the company of supportive and caring people. Adapted from the Mazzoni Center's Holiday Survival Guide, 2009 http://mazzonicenter.org/publications/holiday-survival-guide-2009 Commentary by Mikayla Schultz THE IDEOLOGY of the DOMINANT GENDER SCHEMA 1) Sex is an intrinsic biological characteristic. There are two and only two sexes: male and female. 2) All persons are either one sex or the other. No person can be neither. Normally, no person can be both. No person can change sex without major medical intervention. 3) Genders are the social manifestation of sex. There are two and only two genders: men and women, (boys and girls). All males are either boys or men. All females are either girls or women. 4) All persons are either one gender or the other. No person can be neither. No person can be both. No person can change gender without major medical intervention. 5) Gender role styles are culturally defined expressions of sex and gender. There are two main gender role styles: masculinity and femininity.
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