Winner of four Guardian Student Media Awards Spring Term Week Three Wednesday 23 January 08 www.nouse.co.uk NOUSE Est. 1964 ‘When you see what’s going on in the world, you’ve got this rage. My therapy for that is to write songs.’ Manu Chao >>M9 Ex-student pleads guilty to charge of conspiracy to defraud University Askerov and accomplice admit attempt to cheat in exam Judge refuses to rule out possibility of prison sentences

Henry James Foy included charges of acquir- guilty” to the charges read ing a University of York iden- against them. Askervov was NEWS EDITOR tification card with intent to impassive throughout the defraud the University. hearing while Drean was vis- A FORMER York student Drean, who previously ibly agitated. and his accomplice have held senior positions in the The case now proceeds pleaded guilty to one charge investment teams of Credit to a further hearing in the of conspiracy to defraud the Suisse and Bank of America, week beginning February 25, University, and will return to was also charged with two at which the judge will deliv- court next month facing counts of possessing crimi- er a pre-sentencing report. potential jail terms. nal assets totalling £20,000, Both defendants had their Judge Stephen believed to have been paid to bail extended until that date. Ashcroft, who presided over him by Askerov, who now Cameron requested that the hearing at York Crown lives in London. Drean Judge Ashcroft sentence the Court, said: “All sentences, pleaded not guilty to both of pair during the hearing, and including custody, will be these additional charges. remove the need for the considered,” adding that it Both men were arrested adjournment. “Is it in the was “an unusual yet serious at the University on 11 May public interests and the case of dishonesty.” 2007, when it is alleged interests of the public purse Elnar Askerov, 22, from Drean was caught imperson- to adjourn to a pre-sentenc- Azerbaijan, and his French ating Askerov in his final ing report?” he asked the accomplice Jerome Drean, year Economics exam. court. 34, stood charged on University of York Press Cameron, who travelled Monday 11 January with 10 Officer David Garner from London for the hear- counts of fraud against the declined to comment before ing, said that it was difficult University of York, dating the case is formally closed. to fit accusations of cheating from January 2006 to May Defending Askerov, in a university exam into the 2007. Alexander Cameron QC criminal justice system, and The pair pleaded not notified the court that his urged Judge Ashcroft to guilty to the nine other client “did not conceive [his impose justice with a “finan- charges, relating to eight actions] to be a criminal cial penalty or unpaid work dates on which Drean is offence.” He added that the in the community.” RAINEY VENETIA accused of impersonating best outcome of the case Judge Ashcroft rejected Askerov in examinations. would be that the legal posi- this suggestion on the basis The men bear no physical tion on academic miscon- that it “would be eliminating resemblance to each other. duct would be clearer . certain sentencing options,” The fraud charge to Both men spoke only to which the pair pleaded guilty respond “guilty” or “not >> continued on page 2 Ex-student Elnar Askerov (right) and acommplice Jerome Drean leaving York Crown Court

YUSU officer to face University cited in Finding a house Netball hat-trick win no confidence vote report on arms trade Nouse presents the over Varsity rivals YUSU Academic and Welfare The University of York has been definitive guide on how All three University netball teams Officer Grace Fletcher-Hackwood criticised in a report on the rela- to find not just a decent defeated rivals York St John to is set to face a no confidence vote tionship between UK universities secure an important psychological in the next UGM after a student and the arms industry. York took house, but a happy victory in the run up to the annual she assaulted submitted a motion £7.7m in funding from defence home. Our step-by-step Varsity tournament in February. against her. She has thus far companies to carry out 59 research The 1sts match was hard fought resisted calls for her resignation. projects between 2001 and 2006. guide will take the stress but strong shooting late in the out of house-hunting. NEWS >> Page 3 NEWS >> Pages 4 - 5 game secured a 32-30 win. COMMENT >> Pages 10-11 COMMENT >> Pages 10 - 11 MUSE >> M12 - 13 SPORTS >> Page 20 NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 2 News Wednesday January 23 2008

Hitch to Morrocco Rising Hes East prices spark fails ratification tests This year’s Hitch to Morocco will not take place with the backing of YUSU worries of campus inequality after it was deemed too great a risk to Union liability. The decision was made after YUSU Communications Sian Turner LOWTHER GEORGE and Societies Officer Sam Bayley STAFF REPORTER described the Hitch’s destination as “too much of a risk”, and it was revealed that the Union’s insurance GOODRICKE STUDENTS mov- does not cover the kind of risks ing to the Heslington East develop- undertaken by participants. Despite ment in 2009 look set to face the decision, YUSU continues to sup- higher accommodation fees to port the initiative, providing them compensate for rising construction with free advertising and use of uni- costs. versity rooms. “We don’t have any The campus expansion proj- problem with their aims and objec- ect, which began in 2007 at a cost tives,” said Bayley, “and they’re work- of £500 million, will become the ing for a worthy cause.” new home of Goodricke College by next year. However, the cost of the Derwent kitchens hit build looks set to disadvantage stu- by microwave arson dents financially. Speaking at Senate last week, Residents of Derwent C and D YUSU President Anne-Marie blocks face discipinary action after a Canning revealed that “the rents series of explosive incidents involv- on Heslington East would be high- ing foodstuffs in their microwaves. er than anywhere on Heslington During the early hours of Friday West.” January 18, a can, a bottle of gin and “This build has cost a lot of a variety of foods were exploded in money and it has to, basically, wash Rising costs of the Heslington East development could push up accommodation charges in the near future microwaves in the block kitchens, its own face,” she added. causing extensive damage. Derwent In order to maximise the prof- and for a reason,” said YUSU people in ghettos according to lower, the pressure is on the uni- Provost Ron Weir warned: “If the itability of accommodation in Services and Finance Officer Matt what they can and cannot afford.” versity to keep refurbishing and facilities continue to be used inap- Heslington East, plans have been Burton, “and that was to prevent Canning also expressed con- improving other colleges,” he said. propriately, they will be removed,” put forward to make all rooms en different colleges becoming differ- cern the divide could grow. “It “The issue is that some colleges, while Administrator Chris Unwin suite, or to charge an equal fee for ent classes. I think that by differen- poses the question about having like Derwent, may fall behind on told residents that “these incidents both standard and en suite rooms. tiating rents it would become a sit- two campuses,” she said. “which is their maintenance in comparison are highly dangerous and whoever is The move has sparked great uation of the rich and the poor.” a real worry actually, creating an to Hes East.” responsible is putting the lives of debate within the Union, creating YUSU Environment and old and a new campus, a rich and a The suggestion of the univer- their fellow residents, at risk.” A culprit is yet to be identified. fears that a situation of ‘C Ethics Officer Tom Langley echoed poor campus.” sity abolishing the 33 week let on ollegeopoly’ will develop, with only Burton’s comments, saying: “You’re YUSU Societies and Hes East was also criticised, with the wealthiest students able to looking at a university where you Communications Officer Sam some claming that it would cause a University bridges to afford the newer, ‘Mayfair-style’ have segregation according to abil- Bayley believes that the divide decline in the cultural diversity of accommodation. ity to pay. I personally find it a real- could lead to falling standards of Goodricke College. remain closed “We went through this cam- ly horrifying thought and I don’t maintenance in existing colleges. Two major bridges on campus have LEADER >> page 10 paign for differential rent years ago like the idea of basically having “If rents on Campus West are been closed following a structural survey which revealed “concerns about their loading.” University Press Officer Dave Garner said that “the University decided to err on the side Cheating student pleads guilty to fraud charge of caution and close them. We will << Continued from front £16,000 to the court within 56 Zhang. They were convicted and Officer Grace Fletcher-Hackwood, either refurbish the bridges or adopt days. Drean had previously forfeit- sentenced for fraud after being commenting on the guilty plea, some other approach.” However, a and that he wanted to be confident ed £4,000. arrested at the same exam in May. said: “We are pleased that this has notice on the Vanbrugh to Goodricke he had read and considered all the Few details of the pair’s rela- The two Chinese students, been uncovered. If students are bridge suggests that a decision has material involved. Describing it as tionship emerged during the hear- who pleaded guilty to multiple getting away with fraud it lowers already been made and that “the bridge will be subject to building a case with “unique features” and ing. It remains unclear as to why fraud charges, were sentenced to the quality of degrees achieved by work prior to its removal.” Garner “very few precedents,” he again former investment banker Drean 100 hours of community service honest, hardworking students. If attempted to reassure students that refused to rule out any potential involved himself with Askerov. each. students feel that their exams are a solution would be sought as quick- sentences. This case follows a similar, Both Askerov and Qui Shi going to go badly and are so des- ly as possible. In light of the guilty plea, the though unrelated offence by were expelled from the University perate they turn to such measures, prosecution, lead by Simon Kealey another York student, Qiu Shi due to the severity of their offences. they should seek help from their Reporting by Jennifer O’Mahony, QC, called on Drean to forfeit Zhang and accomplice Xian YUSU Academic and Welfare department or from us.” Peter Campbell and Chris Etheridge

Who’s January 23 2008 MANAGING DIRECTOR MUSIC EDITORS SPORTS EDITORS In this edition www.NOUSE.co.uk NOUSE Chris Cowan Olivia Haughton Criss Noice James Cousins Matthew Jeynes Grimston House (V/X/010) CHIEF SUBEDITOR Sarah Foster MUSIC DEPUTIES SPORTS DEPUTY News 1-9 Vanbrugh College Oliver Elliot Jack Organ University of York NEWS EDITOR Steven Williams Comment 10-12 Heslington Henry James Foy WEB EDITOR York FILM EDITOR Daniel Whitehead Letters 13 NEWS DEPUTY Dave Coates YO10 5DD Jonathan Fransman WEB DEPUTY Email: [email protected] FILM DEPUTIES Jennifer O’Mahony Politics 14-16 ACTING COMMENT Dan Rodwell EDITOR Jonathan Wilkes PHOTO EDITOR Sport 17-20 Lily Eastwood Ally Carmichael EDITOR F & D EDITOR Raf Sanchez COMMENT DEPUTY Will Heaven ADVERTISING TEAM Anti-semitism M6-7 POST OPEN Frances Oke DEPUTY EDITOR F & D DEPUTY Chloe Dean Anjli Raval FEATURES EDITOR James MacDougald Fabiola Clemente Famous students M8 Venetia Rainey Esme Anderson Nouse sweeps up the tinsel and pine- MUSE EDITOR LISTINGS EDITOR Seasonal tales M10-11 needles and takes an offbeat look at the Nicky Woolf FEATURES DEPUTY Daniel Ball ADMINISTRATOR Liam O’Brien Arthur Reeves A Peruvian journey M14 festive season; first at the thankless CONSULTANT EDITOR POLITICS EDITOR world of professional elfing, then at the Heidi Blake ARTS EDITOR Alberto Furlan The opinions expressed in Listings M23 Helen Citron this publication are not difficulties of following New Year’s reso- CREATIVE DIRECTOR POLITICS DEPUTIES lutions. Ellen Carpenter ARTS DEPUTY Polly Ingham necessarily those of the MUSE >> 10-11 Sarah-Jane Silvester Peter Campbell editors,writers,or advertisers NOUSE: THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Wednesday 23 January 2008 News 3 Fletcher-Hackwood defiant in the face of looming no confidence vote

Jonathan Fransman gate the incident fully.” the incident occurred at roughly DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR JCRC Chairs have also spo- 1.30am outside Derwent bar ken out on the issue. Derwent during the Chav-D event. Taylor Chair Oliver Lester described and a friend had been ejected YUSU ACADEMIC and Fletcher-Hackwood's actions as from the event by doorstaff ear- Welfare Officer Grace Fletcher- “disgraceful” and said: “people lier, and met Fletcher- Hackwood is set to face a vote of should actually consider Hackwood after she followed no confidence at the next UGM whether she can continue in her them out of the venue. after admitting assaulting a stu- role. If a lecturer or a tutor actu- Taylor said Fletcher- dent. A member of YUSU ally hit a student, I expect they Hackwood taunted him for Senate has broken ranks to call would be asked to leave the being thrown out and he for her resignation. University, and in this sense it's responded by pointing out she Speaking on the condition kind of the same. If a YUSU had been carried out of the last of anonymity, the officer said employee punched a student it's Club-D event for excessive they thought Fletcher- completely unacceptable.” drunkenness. Hackwood would not survive Halifax President Dave By both Taylor's and the vote. “I don’t think she’ll Sharpe, said that “there defi- Clark’s account, the argument make it and she should resign. I nitely needs to be some action escalated, and on making a think it’s quite serious and it taken,” and that Fletcher- comment regarding ethical undermines her position, it Hackwood will “have to do a lot merchandise, Fletcher- undermines the Union and her of work to get students’ trust Hackwood punched Taylor in position is untenable,” they said. back”. This view was echoed by the ear. Fletcher-Hackwood has James Chair Chet Khatu who Fletcher-Hackwood main- said repeatedly that she will not said that Fletcher-Hackwood tains that “there is absolutely no resign over the incident, saying: had “let the University down as way that I would try to hurt “‘inappropriate’ is the most seri- a role model.” anyone” and that she did not ous word you could use to Vanbrugh Chair Matt intend to injure Taylor. When describe it. As far as I’m con- Oliver said: “There should be questioned with regards to the cerned the matter is now over.” serious consideration as to details of the incident, Fletcher- The assaulted individual, whether the Union feels she is Hackwood admitted she did not second year History and Politics able to continue in her role.” He remember the event. By her student Dan Taylor, said that added that he felt it was impor- own admittance, Fletcher- Fletcher-Hackwood must “seri- tant for the JCRC chairs to Hackwood was extremely ine- ously consider her position.” present a “united front” on the briated during the Chav-D Taylor said he plans to submit issue in the event of formal event. the motion of no confidence to action being taken against Fletcher-Hackwood said the next UGM, which will take Fletcher-Hackwood. her and Taylor's relationship place on January 30. All students will have the “should be taken into account” YUSU President Anne- opportunity to vote on the although “it should not be con- Marie Canning has thus far motion in the UGM. If passed, sidered less of an incident stood behind her, saying: “I Fletcher-Hackwood would be because of who it is”. She admit- have full confidence that Grace removed from her post. Current ted that they have a relationship BRUNSDEN MICHAEL can fulfil her academic and wel- constitutional arrangements of “mutual disagreement”. fare role, and I think she is mean that it is unlikely the post Facebook groups have appeared doing a great job for students. would be filled until the begin- supporting and condemning However, if Dan wants to take ning of the next academic year. Fletcher-Hackwood. the matter any further, I will go According to second year >> through the whole complaints Derwent student Adam Clark, LEADER Page 10 procedure with him and investi- who was with Taylor at the time, COMMENT >> Page 11 Grace Fletcher-Hackwood has “let the University down,” said one college chair Library budget cut for second time in two years Alberto Furlan ery, had been cut last year, year. Despite this resounding Head of History, said his NEWS CORRESPONDENT Stanley said: “We did have to success, the University department had not yet been make some cuts to the infor- Library will still be experi- asked to make cuts. He said mation budget as well, last encing cuts in the next two that if cuts were made “they THE JB MORRELL Library year we made a cut of years, albeit smaller ones won’t come in areas which is facing a second round of £150,000 for the whole than were initially projected. affect the student experi- budget cuts in two years. information budget.” She The same report quoted the ence”. In fact, according to The cuts to the library’s added that the cuts were Vice-Chancellor’s expenses Prof. Taylor, the Library has budget in the last financial spread evenly between all of at £250,000. been able to enlarge the year amounted to £500,000, the University’s academic Stanley said it was History Department’s Amer- while this year the level of departments. “inevitable” that cuts would ican History section in the cuts have been reduced to According to Head affect the Library in the long past year. Dr. Simon Parker, £145,000, bringing the Librarian Stephen Town, the term, while Town was more Library Fellow of the Socio- budget for the entire Library decision to cut the Library’s confident in the Library’s logy department, stated that for this academic year to budget was made by the ability to manage the cuts. he was “surprised” to hear of approximately £4m. University to “cope with a Both said that the University budget cuts to the library. Library Budget one-year reduction in in- had actually supplied addi- Town said the Library Manager Tracy Stanley said: come.” “The cuts aren’t really tional funding in Library had received numerous com- “What we tried to do as The University Library has been hit with further budget cuts intended to generate invest- areas needing expansion, plaints about the availability much as we could is protect ment money,” he added. such as Law and Theatre of texts. Town said the prob- the information budget, delays in replacing some tine for us to review all posts Contrary to predictions Film and Television. lem is currently undergoing because obviously it has the staff who had left.” every year.” however, last year’s financial “There was some dis- “serious analysis”, and a most impact on students Speaking to Nouse, When asked if the infor- report shows a growth of quiet from departments, but review of the lending process requirements and staff as Stanley said: “We took some mation budget, which covers £2.7m for the University, we have assuaged those is underway. well. So last year the savings of the savings on our staff, books, electronic journals, compared with the fears”, said Stanley. were really achieved by some but it would be pretty rou- binding and document deliv- £500,000 of the previous Professor Miles Taylor, COMMENT >> Page 12 NOUSE: THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 4 News Wednesday January 23 2008 Arms trade report criticises York

Johnathan Fransman Symon Hill implies.” “Systems Engineering for UNIVERSITIES RANKED BY MILITARY FUNDING DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR Garner also said the Autonomous Systems” (SEAS- 1. Cranfield University £382,907,327 University did not believe an issue DTC) and was conducted in con- THE UNIVERSITY OF York has existed on ethical grounds saying: junction with 11 other British uni- received just under £8m in fund- “Research at York in this area versities including UCL, St 2. University of Southampton £43,251,201 ing from British arms companies, includes safety critical aircraft Andrew's and Bristol. according to a recent report. computer systems to make sure According to the report, 3. University of Cambridge £42,565,637 The report, entitled ‘Study that planes are unlikely to crash - “Defence Technology Centres were War No More’, was produced in systems that are used in civilian introduced by the Ministry of 4. University of Sheffield £41,886,131 2007 by Campaign Against The aircraft. Other research looks at Defence in 2002 so that military, Arms Trade (CAAT) and the radio communication systems and industry and universities can col- 5. Loughborough University £29,206,101 Fellowship of Reconciliation computer security. There is noth- laborate closely in the developing (FoR), and provides details the ing reprehensible about this new military technology”. The funding of military research and research. On the contrary, it is MoD claims to utilise the centres 6. University of Nottingham £29,133,566 development projects at 26 UK extremely beneficial to society. It is in order to produce “innovative, universities between 2001-06. patent nonsense to suggest that cutting edge research for 7. Imperial College London £24,642,446 The report claims York there is any inappropriate military enhanced UK defence capability.” accepted over £7.7m for carrying influence in this University.” The centres are jointly funded by 8. University of Oxford £19,222,724 out 59 military projects based pri- Garner said that the the MoD and private arms compa- marily at the Computer Science University was not currently carry- nies, in the case of the SEAS-DTC and Electronics departments. The project including BAE systems, 9. University of Liverpool £17,581,758 money provided by research MBDA missile systems and Rolls comes from BAE systems, QineitQ York accepted Royce. 10. University of Manchester £15,812,903 and EPSRC - all of which are £7.7m from arms YUSU President Anne-Marie involved in weapons production. companies Canning said: “Research invest- 11.Bristol University £12,109,941 Symon Hill, a spokesperson between 2001- ments are a growing area within for CAAT, said: “it is appalling that 06 according to the University. Investments are the University of York allows arms the ‘Study War judged on an ethical basis by a 12. University of Birmingham £11,606,978 companies this level of influence No More’ report mixture of academics and student into what should be an independ- by the CAAT reps at departemntal ethics com- 13. Newcastle University £9,129,147 ent academic establishment.” He (pictured) mittees. If students are concerned said he believed “[York] students about such issues they can submit 14. University of York £7,764,687 and staff will be horrified to dis- a motion to our next UGM and I cover the level of military involve- ing out any weapons research. will lobby upon their behalf.” ment at UK universities.” York People & Planet Chair The University of Cambridge Source: ‘Study War No More’ www.studywarnomore.org.uk David Garner, a spokesman Robyn Heather said: “Even if the conducted 283 projects from 2001 for the University, rejected Hill's research does not directly con- to 2006 making it the institution assertion saying “We do not accept tribute to the creation of actual with the largest number of arms the assumption that any contact weaponry, it is still irresponsible company projects in the UK. INVESTMENT IN UK UNIVERSITIES 2001- 06 with the defence sector is for an influential university to be Below Cambridge ranks reproachable. The University's affiliated with arms companies Loughborough with 126 followed received in research grants research in conjunction with such as these, who do develop by Oxford with 124. York ranks 13 £725m from the arms industry defence companies or government weapons.” of the 26 in terms of numbers of departments does not involve The report showed that the projects accepted. weapons.” University of York conducted 59 Cranfield University received military research projects carried Garner went on to defend the separate projects funded by arms the most money from arms com- University's academic autonomy companies, ranking 13th out of the panies with a minimum amount 1,900 out in in UK universities saying “Our research grants in this 26 institutions covered in the received for research projects area operate in exactly the same study in terms of the number of amounting to just under £383m. way as any other research agree- projects. The University also par- It is followed by Southampton of research projects funded by Rolls ment- with academic independ- ticipated in the Ministry of which received a minimum grant 2/3 Royce, BAE Systems or QinetiQ ence and authority guaranteed. No Defence's (MoD) Defence of £43.2m. research funder has 'influence' in Technology Centres project in the University in the way that 2004. The project was entitled LEADER >> page 10 York taking ethical investment motion to NUS

investment (SRI) policy,” and Beth Gandy are not an NUS confident Union “Divest where possible, its shares NEWS CORRESPONDENT and looking at the result from our in any company that does not meet recent referendum, if we’re going the mentioned SRI criteria.” It also to stay in NUS we want more of a mandates universities to allow YUSU HAS TAKEN its campaign stake in it, not just pay our affilia- their students’ union to “access and against unethical investment to a tion fee. It would be good to get monitor” their university’s invest- national level by submitting a more of an exposure to national ment portfolios. motion to the NUS for considera- politics as a student union,” YUSU Societies and tion by delegates at the Union’s Canning said. Communications Officer Sam annual conference. The motion grew from the Bayley said: “We hope that the The motion, ‘Ethical work of Environment and Ethics motion can make a difference to Investments in Universities’ con- Officers Tom Langley and Tom the lives of the ordinary students demns investment in unethical Williams. Through their lobbying, on a wider level and are pleased companies by universities, and has a paper has been accepted by the that it’s been accepted for debate.” already been taken on board by the senior University administrators. The motion will now to go for- University of York. York will undergo a process of cre- ward to NUS Composite, where If the motion passes through ating a new reformed policy. Union delegates will argue over the NUS conference held in Other universities, such as the what motions should go forward to Blackpool from April 1- 3, affiliat- NUS President Gemma Tumelty addresses the 2007 Annual Conference University of East Anglia, have had the Blackpool conference, and ed unions will begin to put their successes in investing in ethical what order they will be scheduled respective universities under pres- in favour of submitting the motion national agenda.” sources, namely their pension in. At the conference, representa- sure to implement a similar policy to the NUS, said: “It is great that This will also be the first scheme. tives from either side will speak for to the University of York’s. our University is setting an exam- YUSU motion submitted to the The motion calls on the NUS and against the motion. A simple YUSU President Anne-Marie ple to others as to how to invest NUS Conference for over 5 years. to lobby and pressurize universi- majority is required for it to Canning, who lead the movement ethically. We are setting a pressing “This is important for YUSU. We ties to “adopt a socially responsible become NUS policy. NOUSE: THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Wednesday January 23 2008 News 5 for taking on 59 military projects

University ethics committee told to exempt research Anjli Raval especially within the science DEPUTY EDITOR departments and the University do not want to do THE MANDATE of a pro- anything to damage the aca- posed ethical investment demic side to research". steering group will not be Registrar Sally extended to research, Nouse Neocosmos, the lead has learned. University official with The steering group, responsibility for the ethical designed to establish a steering group, declined to University-wide ethical answer when asked why the investment policy, has group's mandate would not already cleared a number of extend to research. key committees and is likely She said that the devel- to be voted through opment of an ethical invest- University Council next ment policy "has the sup- month. However, it will have port of the Vice-Chancellor no jurisdiction over what and other senior colleagues research the University and is now in its final agrees to commit to. stages." YUSU Environment The University agreed and Ethics Officer Tom to the establishment of a Langley, who has been new ethical investment poli- involved in the planning for cy following pressure from the steering group, said the students which culminated University would not in a widely attended ‘die-in’ empower the group to use occupation of Heslington ethical conditions to reject Hall in June 2006, organ- research. ised by student group Langley said: "We were People and Planet. told when planning the The University current- steering group to not bother ly holds a 'Code of Practice trying to extend its mandate and Principles for Good to research because the Ethical Governance' which University just wouldn't is upheld by a University accept it." Ethics Committee as well He added: "The departmental committees. University want to keep the The departments of scope of research open to Computer Science and students as wide as possible Electronics, where the and want to keep their majority of arms company- departments as active as funded research is carried possible. If they cut down on out, both fall under the BAE systems is responsible for the development of a wide range of military technology used across the world. Examples certain things I would imag- Physical Science Ethics include: (clockwise from top) the Eurofighter Typhoon, the Challenger II Tank, and the 155mm Lightweight Field Howitzer. ine they would struggle Committee. BRIEFING: YORK AND THE ARMS TRADE COMPANY PROFILES OCTOBER 2005 companies. The University agreed Harvard University had sold their BAE Systems - 439 university projects A Nouse investigation discovered to develop a more stringent ethical shares for ethical reasons. The that the University held 115,000 policy as a result. investigation also discovered the It is thought that 80% of BAE's products are exported abroad, where direct shares in BAE Systems in University still held 147,100 shares it seeks new markets experiencing military build-ups or recently dis- addition to shares held through NOVEMBER 2006 in the arms company BAE contined from arms embargoes. The company was thrust into the investment funds which are man- Members of York Amnesty Systems. Between May 2006 and media spotlight in 2006 after the Serious Fraud Office began investi- aged externally. The University International and FreeSoc dressed May 2007, the University benefit- gating charges of corruption related to a BAE deal with Saudi regime. Payroll and Pensions Manager, Bill in white boiler suits (pictured) and ed from a £25,448 increase in In December of that year Attorney General Lord Goldsmith ordered Hemmingway, admitted that there occupied the lobby of Heslington value of its shares in BAE Systems, a halt to the investigation, citing “national security” reasons. were problems with the current Hall in protest against the pres- bringing their value to a total of situation and that the ethical ence of representatives from the £644,371. Rolls-Royce - 495 university projects investment policy had left the Defence Science and Technology “trustees in a catch 22 situation”. Laboratory (DSTL) who were giv- Rolls-Royce is the world's second largest manufacturer of turbine “They [the University trustees] felt ing a presentation. The students engines, used from military transport aircraft and helicopters to com- that their first duty was to the aimed to disrupt the presentation bat, tactical aircraft and unmanned air vehicle. It is currently the Scheme members and they would by DSTL, which produces a range world’s 16th largest defence contractor. University of York Vice- not be fulfiling their duties if they of aerial, naval and land-based Chancellor Brian Cantor worked for the company in a consultant role did not secure the best investment weaponry. before coming entering academia full time. possible for the fund. MAY 2007 QinetiQ - 394 university projects MAY 2006 Nouse uncovered evidence that the Student activists staged a ‘die-in’ University holds indirect shares in QuinetiQ is a leading international defence and security technology occupation of Heslingon Hall as Petrochina, a major Chinese oil company. It acts as the leading supplier of defence research to the part of a campus wide ‘No Share in firm which is thought to have links British government which provides half its turnover. It also provides Killing Day’ to protest against the to the Sudanese government. A technological and security solutions to clients from both the civil and University’s investment in arms number of insitutions, including public sectors. The government recently sold a majority stake in the NOUSE:THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 6 News Wednesday January 23 2008 Financial statements reveal UYCU annual turnover of £29,000

Henry James Foy ments acquired by Nouse, the loss incurred on this NEWS EDITOR the annual ball makes up event was offset by the nearly 60% of the expendi- £7,500 received in dona- ture. Last year’s event cost tions. “Donations come from THE UNIVERSITY of York the organisers £17,161, while alumni and current mem- Christian Union (UYCU) has ticket sales, at £30 each, bers; there is no membership reported a £29,000 turnover only raised £10,934, result- fee,” said Sharpe, who sug- in the past year, including an ing in a loss of over £6,200. gested the average donation expenditure of over £22,000 The ball has a capacity of from the 150-strong mem- on its two major events, the 650 people. bership was around £10- Minster Ball and the UYCU By comparison, the £15. The remainder origi- Houseparty. 2007 Freshers’ Ball, accord- nates from outside sources, In total, the group ing to YUSU Services and including local churches and recorded a loss of over Finance Officer Matt national organisations. £4,000 in the year preceed- Burton, cost approximately These donations also ing November 30 2007, with £40,000, and was attended pay for other outlays, such as both income and expendi- by around 2,500 people. guest speakers, press and ture falling by £1,000 com- Sharpe justified the publicity, and the Freshers’ pared to 2006. spending as a part of the booklet produced to wel- According to YUSU UYCU’s religious mandate: come arriving students and Societies and Communi- “The idea is that the event is attract newcomers to the cations Officer Sam Bayley, primarily just an evangelistic society. This year’s Freshers’ these figures show UYCU as outreach event, so it’s not a Week budget was £2,225. one of the richest student real loss. Obviously we aim “[The £2,225] is allocated societies operating at the to break even,” he said. from the donations, and on University, despite the fact “The Minster gives us some occasions we turn to that they are not YUSU-affil- the building for free, we just local churches and ask them iated and receive no funding pay reinstatement charges, to fund specific parts of it,” from the Union. such as wages to the Minster said Sharpe. The UYCU James Sharpe, UYCU Police and the costs of clear- itself donated £918 to chari- Treasurer 2006-2007, said: ing chairs and building the table causes over the year. “I think that we realise that stage,” said Sharpe, who Sharpe said the figures we do turn over a lot in com- revealed that the bulk of the shown did not necessarily parison with other societies, expense is on food. signify a loss for the UYCU but most of that is on the “Catering costs around since a large amount of the Minster Ball. The rest, some £12,000-£13,000. We have money raised from the sale £6,000-£7,000, is basically to hire in outdoor catering of Minster Ball tickets was what we get in from dona- facilities, and as we’re not not included. “At the point at tions.” allowed to cook in the which the accounts were Bayley said that the only Minster, they have to erect a produced, not all the money campus society with a marquee outside. Hiring a raised from ticket sales had greater turnover is the York band also costs around come in,” he said. Student Cinema. £2,000,” he said. In the financial state- The accounts show that COMMENT >> P12 The UYCU’s Minster Ball held in January costs over £17,000 to organise and hold Funding cuts threaten NSDF Support for poor students

Elly Veness University’s lack of commitment to safeguarded by University NEWS CORRESPONDENT funding its societies, in particular those focused on the arts. Jonathan Fransman students, and it is also nice to know “Serious respect was paid DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR that the University really does care THE FUTURE OF the university towards NSDF last year, whilst about us,” she added. led National Student Drama with normal, run-of-the-mill pro- The initial bracket changes Festival (NSDF) is under threat fol- ductions they don’t care. They’re THE UNIVERSITY has decided to proposed by the government will lowing the withdrawal of crucial happy to flatten the Barn and put increase its total bursary budget by largely benefit the majority of stu- funding from the Arts Council up some accommodation blocks.” 9% in order to accommodate gov- dents by raising the cut-off amount England. Wilkes also claimed that the ernment changes in bursary brac- for bursaries. However, decreases The Council has discontinued University doesn’t recognise the kets, while maintaining the cur- in each category could have poten- fourteen years of annual sponsor- potential of its celebrated societies rent levels of support enjoyed by tially left poorer students with less ship worth £52,000 to “refocus” in attracting students. “The role of those in the lowest bracket. Under financial support than previously. their investment, causing outrage drama is important here. I came the new scheme no students on The University raised the total among students. York has a history here because of the drama society. existing bursaries will suffer finan- bursary budget from £781,000 to of sending plays to the NSDF, with They’re missing out on a great cially, while many will benefit. £827,000 in order to accommo- Stone Cold Dead Serious appearing opportunity to sell something and YUSU President Anne-Marie date the changes, a decision last year. they should recognise that,” he said. Canning was delighted with the Canning described as “brave” in The diverted funds will instead The NSDF has supported stu- changes implemented. “The key lieu of its non-conformity with be focused on “increasing partici- dent drama for 53 years, and pro- achievement is a 9% rise in the governmental changes. pation in high quality arts” by sub- ductions go on to receive national bursary budget for 2008/09 and Overall, the changes are set to York’s Stone Cold Dead Serious sidising permanent public build- attention, which Wilkes describes this shows a significant commit- be beneficial to lower-middle and ings, such as the West Yorkshire was set up to protest the Council’s as “a great opportunity to give stu- ment to social justice in ensuring middle income students, while Playhouse, and funding “top-quali- decision. Although now closed, it dent drama the respect it deserves.” that the poorer students have the maintaining current levels of fund- ty” touring companies and theatres attracted more than 3,300 signa- The final decision on the grant highest level of support,” she said. ing for low-income students. with education programmes that tures, and was promoted by leading withdrawl will be revealed at a “The changes support more Over 150 eligible students “support the changing nature of members of the York Drama Soc. board meeting on January 25. students with more money, a big- have not claimed financial support theatre.” Jamie Wilkes, Drama Soc ger budget and a wider bracket of this year, according to the Student In response, an online petition Chair, expressed anxiety at the POLITICS >> P16 income. I think it is a victory for Financial Support Unit. NOUSE: THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Wednesday January 23 2008 News 7 Presidential candidates begin to emerge

Sian Turner rely on strong turnouts from STAFF REPORTER their colleges to boost their electoral prospects. Kunwar made an THE RACE for the next abortive run for Derwent YUSU President is begin- chair in 2007 but was defeat- ning to take shape as poten- ed comfortably by Jamie tial candidates reveal their Tyler. He was successfully intentions to succeed current elected to YUSU in partner- President Anne-Marie ship with Rory Shanks and Canning. played a key role in the Friends of both Ryan organisation of Fresher’s Bennett, the former Week. The pair have been Vanbrugh Chair, and amongst the most conserva- Nadeem Kunwar, current tive and business minded YUSU Ents Officer have voices on Senate. revealed that they are con- Kunwar currently sits sidering running for the on the board of directors for position. Under YUSU elec- the Yorker Plc. tion rules neither is allowed “As a guy he’s really cool to speak publicly about their and really fun, not just an SU potential candidacies. politician. He’s also the most Bennett, currently in his generous guy I know, and third year studying always has time for every- Economics, comes with a one,” Maclay added. glowing recommendation Former Goodricke from Vanbrugh’s next college Chair, Ben Wardle, worked provost. with Kumar and admitted he “I think that Ryan felt that “Nadz would bring Bennett would be an out- attributes to the position of standing YUSU President,” SU President that are not

said Vanbrugh Provost-elect RAINEY VENETIA there at the moment. During David Efird. “He was an my time as Goodricke Chair, exemplary JCRC chair – I found that the most impor- entirely professional, hard- tant thing is for an SU working and enthusiastic. President is that they are He helped re-establish approachable. Nadz definite- Vanbrugh’s profile on cam- Both Ryan Bennett (left) and Nadeem Kunwar are tipped to make a run for YUSU President in elections later on this term ly is; he’s one of the nicest pus and managed a highly people I’ve met.” effective JCRC. What is it in a light-hearted way. He JCRC veterans in the race for resentative for all JCRCs third year PEP student, has Canning comes to the remarkable is that he did all knows where the rules lie, Vice-Chair. during fraught negotiations been hailed by friend Chris end of her year’s term this this with a ‘light touch’ – he and he gets things done, but Bennett scraped by in over whether students Maclay as “not just another June. Online voting begins never seemed to make hard always in a cheerful and the 2007 Vanbrugh elec- should be allowed a vote on SU cronie.” on Monday of Week Nine work of what was clearly a easy-going fashion.” tions, winning the post of the powerful Student If elected, Kunwar will and the results will be hard job.” Bennett was elected Chair by one vote. He Services Committee. He was break the tradition of YUSU announced on the Thursday. Bennett’s ex-boyfriend, chair of Vanbrugh extension presided over a year of seen as instrumental in con- Presidents coming from Last year a number of Adam Quigley, echoed Fairfax House within six uncertainty for Vanbrugh, vincing University officials of JCRC positions. Both YUSU officials, including Efird’s praise, saying that weeks of arriving at universi- with concerns raised that the the importance of student Canning and Rich Croker, Service and Finance Officer “the good thing about Ryan ty. He followed this up two Bleachfield extension would representation and securing her predecessor, moved up Matt Burton were kicked out is that he knows what needs weeks later by winning an break up the college’s spirit. a postitive result. from chair positions to the of the results event for inap- to be done, but he goes about unlikely victory against Bennett acted as a rep- Ents Officer Kunwar, a presidency. JCRC chairs can propriate behaviour. York on University YUSU begin negotiations with FTR Challenge offensive Jo Lysons against the rises states: “The NEWS CORRESPONDENT rise in price is far more than the inflation rate.” Dan Hyde tion of the team. Canning admitted that NEWS CORRESPONDENT YUSU’s focus will be on YUSU OFFICERS have chal- the price increase this term implementing innovative lenged the recent price hikes has caused a “significant YEARS OF underachieve- training schemes to give the on the FTR buses in a meet- backlash from students.” She ment on BBC Two’s selected team “the best pos- ing with FirstYork officials maintains that the core issue University Challenge are set sible chance” of success. last week is that “journeys to town are to come to an end as YUSU Senior members of the The officers met with too expensive”. announced a reinvigoration University will be recruited FirstYork in an attempt to Canning stated that of the selection and training to better prepare the candi- address the issue on January FirstYork were “not keen” to processes this week. Apart dates and Canning is cur- 18, to make students’ dis- reintroduce the 10 journey from making the Quarter rently devising a ‘staff versus contentment known, and to ticket despite its previous Finals in 2007, York has students’ event to aid this provide “positive sugges- HOLE TOM popularity amongst students. failed to reach the second process. tions” for a solution. Despite Stewart advocating round on all but two occa- Former team captain Possibilities such as the rein- the £99 Term Passes, sions since the beginning of John Bull defended York’s troduction of the previously Canning believes “students the modern series in 1994. efforts, describing the diffi- popular 10-journey tickets FTR ticket price rises have caused outrage among students simply won’t want to pay £99 This record, described culties of facing “larger uni- and a special student rate of at the beginning of term.” by current YUSU President versities who fill their teams £1 journeys into town were FTR spokesperson and that, as there had not YUSU have also Anne-Marie Canning as with graduates”. discussed. “I proposed ‘Town Jonathan Stewart described been a price review in 2007, arranged a panel discussion “embarrassing”, now serves However, Canning was for a pound’ during RAG the meeting as “construc- the rise in fares this term was on campus in order for stu- as the inspiration behind a unequivocal in her condem- week. If they treble their tive,” and that FirstYork a form of “catch up”. dents to pose questions revamped approach to the nation of institutions “play- trade and still make a profit would now “consider other FTR single prices rose directly to FirstYork. “I’m competition. ing dirty” by submitting all- while students are happy, options.” When questioned by 20% and return prices by throwing them to the lions,” “We will be a lot more graduate teams, and vowed then FTR will be doing well,” about the price rises, he 16% following the introduc- joked Canning. “We will keep proactive,” Canning said in to endeavour for a high qual- said YUSU President Anne- claimed that the prices were tion of zonal fares instead of the pressure on First to show regards to YUSU’s organisa- ity but diverse squad. Marie Canning. part of a network fare review fixed prices. An online group some action.” NOUSE: THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 8 News Wednesday January 23 2008 External consultant to assess ‘ongoing problems and pressure points’ in YUSU

Holly Thomas NEWS CORRESPONDENT

YUSU HAS commissioned an external consultant to assess both sabbatical and non-sab- batical officers in response to concerns over growing work- loads and pressurized roles. A sum in the region of £10,000 was set aside from the 2006-07 YUSU budget to cover the audit, in addition to the imple- mentation of any changes found to be necessary. YUSU President Anne- Marie Canning said: “I think there are ongoing problems and pressure points, and I think this is a good way of resolving them in a professional way.” Judith Court, a freelance consultant, is to undertake the investigation. She will review work distribu- tion, uncovering areas where officers may be particularly stressed or struggling to cope with their workload, and deter- mine whether there is room for manoeuvre within the team. Canning was quick to stress that this is not a knee-jerk reaction to a human resource crisis, instead describing it as a necessary procedure. “We don’t The roles and think we’ve been in situations has not been tackled internally sure had been placed on YUSU gested YUSU have struggled feel the need to go through workloads of before when constitutions have prior to the audit, Canning said, to assess the roles, saying: “We with both intensive workloads these sorts of things,” she said, YUSU Officers just ‘appeared’,” said Canning. “sometimes we shuffle around; all knew it needed doing,” and confusion over officer’s res- adding: “We’re prudent with will be exter- On whether the Union if an officer is overloaded, I adding: “I’m not saying we’re in ponsibilities in the years since. our money. We’ve seen this as nally assessed anticipates any resentment email out the team saying ‘Can a mess or anything.” Court will also address an investment”. from JCRCs over this use of we help here?’” YUSU Student A similar audit four years fears that Union work is detrim- If changes are advised, it is YUSU money for such a project, Development and Charities ago revealed the then Education ental to non-sabbatical officer’s likely they will be enforced she said: “I don’t think the col- Officer Joey Ellis said: “every- and Welfare Officer was under degrees. Officers will be inter- alongside the governance lege chairs would criticise. I one in the office works very “extreme” pressure, resulting in viewed, and welfare officers will review later this term. “If there think everyone’s getting a fair hard, they do what they have to the creation of a Union Man- be consulted over the number of are changes to be made, I want slice of the pie at the moment”. do.” ager post, currently filled by officers seeking support in cop- people to understand them. I Although the predicament Canning denied that pres- Jolene Jesserman. Canning sug- ing with their positions. New Vanbrugh provost selected QAA returns report of confidence in University Liam O’Brien believes this can be achieved with NEWS CORRESPONDENT personal development portfolios, increased academic welfare and the Sian Turner recommendations for further development of what he describes STAFF REPORTER action. The report itself is expected CURRENT DEAN OF Vanbrugh as a ‘College Colloquia’ series. in February, when it will become college David Efird has been The series would aims to boost available to staff and students. appointed as the new Vanbrugh academic focus by launching a THE UNIVERSITY OF York has Deputy Vice-Chancellor, Prof. Provost, a role that takes effect on series of accessible presentations by received a ‘full confidence’ judge- Trevor Sheldon, expressed pleasure October 1 2008 when current research students and academics to ment in its institutional audit, con- at the result, saying: “We are very provost Alan Warren retires after Vanbrugh students. ducted last term. pleased at the QAA’s endorsement 24 years. Another interesting aspect of The audit, carried out by the of our approach to managing the Despite having wanted a Efird’s application to the role was Quality Assurance Agency (QAA) quality of the student learning provostship for some time, Efird his suggestion of an online ques- assessed the University’s ability to experience and the standard of our declares that he has an “identifica- tionnaire that would be put to maintain its high standard aca- awards. The Audit process is also a tion with Vanbrugh”, and praised Vanbrugh students after Fresher’s demic awards, whilst keeping a useful opportunity to reflect on its “strong JCRC, central location, Week, and after their first, second range of high quality learning how we can make further improve- commitment to volunteering and and third years have concluded. His opportunities open to students. ments that are likely to be of bene- college spirit”. idea is to guage perception of Visiting the University in fit to our students, so we look for- As a senior lecturer and direc- Vanbrugh, and identify areas of the Autumn 2007, a team from QAA ward to receiving the final Audit tor of graduate studies in the college that could be improved. held discussions with groups of report and its recommendations.” Philosophy Department, and dean New Vanbrugh provost Dave Efird Efird is also in the discern- both staff and students. They also The Academic Support Office of four years, Efird said he feels he ment process for ordination into visited the departments of has issued a statement of congratu- has a lot of experience in “helping role for at least five years. the Church of England. He hopes to Languages and Lingustics and lations, saying “a big thank you to students in what is a very exciting The new provost aims “to see be allowed to train as a non-stipen- Biology in order to understand how everyone who contributed to last and sometimes difficult time in the JCR and the SCR interact diary, meaning that whilst he the institution’s policies and proce- term’s Institutional Audit,” with a their lives.” He added: “As dean, more”, and wants, “an academic would retain his academic and wel- dures work in practice. promise “to keep you all informed there’s not a lot in terms of com- focus in the college, because if it’s fare positions in the university, he The result of a judgement of about the details of recommenda- pensation for it, you have to want just a place where you eat and sleep would perform additional ‘confidence’ was revealed last week, tions and institutional actions in to do it.” Efird expects to stay in the then it’s a hall of residence.” He unsalaried duties for the Church. along with a small number of response.” NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Wednesday January 23 2008 News 9 Stepping into the breach

ZACH PEPPER - LANGWITH Profiles and Analyses CHET KHATU - JAMES SECOND YEAR Language and Linguistics stu- A CLOSELY fought battle for chair resulted in dent Zach Pepper has taken over the position of of the 2007-2008 first year Chet Khatu emerging victorious. It’s a Langwith chair from predecessor Won Yuan. shame Khatu only enjoyed a brief spell in James Pepper, from Leigh-on-Sea in Essex, is passion- JCRC Chairs before he was forced to relocate to Vanburgh ate about raising the profile of his college. due to essential building maintainance taking “Langwith is the oldest and one of the smallest place in his block. During his time as chair he colleges at York University, but over the next intends to create more of a collegiate atmos- year I aim to raise its profile.” A venerated advo- phere by introducing an alumni project and cate of the renowned Langwith spirit, he con- changing the college logo as well as being more fesses that “I will be making sure that each and closely involved with the running of events. every member of my college feels the benefit of Despite not having any York JCRC experience, being a part of the original college of the Khatu was instrumental in the Student Union University of York.” Pepper will preside over fur- at Reading where Chet was year president ther negotiations on the future of Langwith bar. before transferring universities.

JOE CLARKE - GOODRICKE DAVE SHARP - HALIFAX THE STRONG favourite, Joe Clarke became HALIFAX’S NEW President ran a cam- JCRC Chair after effectively playing the role paign fought on practicalities rather than for two months prior to the election. He idealistic promises. Whilst stressing the campaigned with a cringeworthy YouTube need to save JJ’s bar, he accepted that video, in which students were told by mem- opening hours may have to be further bers of the YUSU Exec to “Vote Joe for restricted. Although pragmatic, this is Goodricke Chair because he’s... good.” unlikely to delight Halifaxers, though his Clarke, who apparently “bleeds Goodricke” pledge on daytime TV access should prove has promised college students the Roger to be more popular. Critics may detect a Kirk Centre as a social venue, hoping to out- frivolous streak, however, in his proposal to class all other colleges, presumably with alter JJ’s seating to improve its interior more chocolate-themed events than he look. Sharp held the position of Bar Officer organised last year as one of the college’s last year. From Staffordshire, ‘Sharpy’ fos- Ents Reps. He has also guaranteed a more ters an image of the average, affable man in streamlined JCRC through the creation of a the pub. On degree completion he hopes to sub-committee. It is yet unknown whether move into venture capitalism. Halifaxers Clarke’s close relationship with his predeces- will hope his aims for their college will be sor Ben Wardle will help or hinder his ideas. realised with similar ambition.

OLIVER LESTER - DERWENT ERIK O’CONNOR - ALCUIN ORIGINALLY THOUGHT of as an outsider for SWEDISH O’CONNOR ran a popular cam- the position, the anarchic Lester went on to paign to take his post. Previously branded with defeat his more conventional opposition by a a “if it aint broke” attitude, he seeks to continue wide margin. Lester decided to join the race late MATT OLIVER - VANBRUGH solving issues brought to attention by predeces- and ran on a ticket of bar refurbishment and LAST YEAR’S Valcuin representative for Vanbrugh College Matt sor Louis Wihl. He will focus on improved facil- general Derwent exuberance. In a carefree first Oliver was elected with a comfortable majority. An efficient cam- ities, the walk across the library bridge being too year Lester busied himself with a line of cloth- paign, involving getting to know freshers and a competent showing strenuous to reach the ATM for most Alcuin ing emblazoned with ‘Rich Croker is my home at hustings, secured the victory. Oliver describes Vanbrugh as a “lib- students. His appointment follows a year as boy’ and weekend trips to Oslo. Since taking eral” college where it is possible for the JCRC to make a difference to Entertainment Officer, which saw the successful over as chair Lester successfully faced down a college life. He aims to renovate the college JCR and build the pro- re-launch of bar B Henry’s. O’Connor says he is critical editorial in Derwent newsletter, The file of college events. He claims to have no desire for a YUSU posi- “a passionate supporter of the collegiate system, Flying DCUK, by going to every kitchen posting tion, unlike his ambitious predecessor Ryan Bennett. After disagree- with hopes of clearer communication within the a leaflet response. How Lester will cope with the ments with YUSU over college ents, Oliver SAID, “College should be college, solving the unresolved issues or loose minutiae of JCRC work remains to be seen. about fun. Political correctness can and is getting in the way.” ends of last year.”

WEB-CANNING This week’s snapshot from YUSU’s web-cam Bennett urges new JCRC chairs to focus on students and ignore tempting politics

Henry James Foy Conservative party. You are His passionate plea was encouragement to get NEWS EDITOR not government, and you are met with appreciation and involved in Senate debates not ruling the world. You are applause from his fellow and affect the decision-mak- a group of students repre- Senate members, including ing processes. “I think we FORMERVANBRUGH senting other students. Don’t YUSU Training Officer Tom have a really good bunch and JCRC Chair Ryan Bennett get involved in the politics,” Langrish, who had earlier we will all get along well. has urged the new group of Bennett said. congratulated all the depart- They are all very competent, college chairs to use their Speaking in his final ing chairs for a sucessful year and I look forward to work- time in Senate campaigning Senate at the end of last on the committee. ing with them all.” she said. for their college’s students, term, Bennet implored both “It’s common practice in Major issues that the rather than getting involved the incoming Chairs and the the life-cycle of a committee new-look Senate must deal with the politics that he feels current YUSU officers to that when a large portion of a with include creating a man- belaugures the committee’s ensure that the meetings are membership is leaving, to ageable and workable ethical decision making. used efficiently. formerly offer thanks to their merchandise policy, keeping With Viking Raid forced to turn to Unfortunately, “Please, everyone who is “Do what the students hard work,” said Langrish. student issues at the top of in danger of less rather less Matt Burton on Senate next year, remem- want, get it done, and don’t YUSU President Anne- Hes East plans and finding a being cancelled, productive ways claimed he had ber: You are not the Labour sit around here arguing Marie Canning expects the solution to the problematic Joey Ellis was of raising money. “no change”. party, you are not the about it,” he said. new chairs will need little campus bars. NOUSE : THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 10 Comment Wednesday January 23 2008 11 Comment & Analysis

More than ‘inappropriate’ We have to be realistic Tired of prejudice Like so many of the ministerial scandals splashed across national front towards religion pages, the Grace Fletcher-Hackwood affair is rapidly taking on a momentum about military research Give Hackwood one last chance of its own. There is a victim who couldn’t be more pleased at having been attacked and having the opportunity to initiate formal proceedings against his long-time political nemesis. There is a loyal opposition that rallies around It is time to look past our initial reproach People need to put petty vendettas aside and look at the welfare situation objectively their champion, too quick to allow the sour motivations of her detractors blot out the genuine need for accountability. And there is a bemused majority, Jonathan Fransman watching on as the ruckus grows and the spittle flies. tige to bolster their research. But there’s Contributing Writer The fact remains that Fletcher-Hackwood’s behaviour has been dis- something that just doesn’t sit right with political figure on campus, Taylor is not graceful and very serious questions need to be asked as to whether she is fit BAE. Its political and economic power is without his influence in rallying the for her job. Neither of her contextual circumstances, that she was blind Lida Mirzaii formidable, it receives contracts worth Lily Eastwood troops against Fletcher-Hackwood. I drunk or in “a relationship of mutual disagreement” with the student in Contributing Writer more than £1bn from the Ministry of Comment Editor have never seen evidence of someone question, are in any way mitigating. She should never have let the situation Defence and has been investigated for enjoying being hit in the ear so much as It’s a fairly common scenario. Another degenerate to such a point nor let herself veer so wildly out of control. It is bribery in no less than seven countries, Taylor appeared to. tedious evening in York which, being a questionable if she can ever be taken seriously again after this. Saudi Arabia being one, naturally. No doubt anyone jumping to the first year, is really rather depressing. I’m But another fact: if Fletcher-Hackwood resigns the Union will be left So what is of concern is how corrupt defence of Fletcher-Hackwood will be sitting in a pub with a large group when without any Academic and Welfare Officer and her duties will be split The knee-jerk reaction to military multi- military involvement in research can I don’t think I know anyone who didn’t accused of making allowances because the discussion wanders into the vaguely between the five remaining sabbs, whose workloads are already being audit- national companies funding 59 academ- stunt intellectual autonomy and manip- at least smirk when they heard the news. of her diminutive size, as well as her pas- political realm. One of my drinking com- ed due to apparent “problems and pressure points”. Regardless of what you ic research projects at York is bound to be ulate the academic community. The pres- Between the “mutually disagreeing” pair, sion for student welfare. If Matt Burton panions decides to take that oh-so-origi- think about the YUSU’s efficiency there is no getting around the point that one of reproach. In the age of the student sure for universities to maintain their feminist Grace Fletcher-Hackwood and had done the same would we have called nal pop at the evils of organised religion. the current structure is designed for six elected officers supported by Union as a marching ethical pioneer, the status as leading research-based institu- notorious conservative activist Dan for his resignation in a heartbeat? He He reels off a long list of atrocities fuelled staff. To lose an officer would stretch the remaining five even further. involvement of BAE, the world’s fourth tions, means it is often easier for a Taylor, it is hard to work out who has may be the villain in far more campus by people acting in the name of their This is a situation which would benefit no one. If they are truly serious largest arms company who also hap- department such as Electronics to secure more critics on campus. This means that dramas, whilst Fletcher-Hackwood respective deity; September 11, the about student welfare, and not just gaining petty political satisfaction from pened to clinch a £10bn Eurofighter jet funding through the military. The some- when it comes to passing judgement it is rides in like a beacon of moral justice, Crusades, conflict in the Middle East. watching her fall, then her detractors would do well to remember this. This deal with Saudi Arabia, can hardly be what Orwellian termed ‘Towers of very difficult to discern who is really but I like to think that in both cases we The list is endless. is the same reactionary crowd who railed against the NUS without any seen as keeping in line with ethical Excellence’ scheme combines eight com- thinking objectively, and who is acting would afford them at least a second Lots of people seem to believe a responsible contingency for what we would do in the event of disaffiliation. investment. It’s the consequences that mercial government bodies and nine aca- out of spite. chance. As I said at the beginning, this deeply flawed hypothesis; that the world The fact that Fletcher-Hackwood’s continued tenure is the ‘least-worst’ make you question the outcome of mili- demic partners for research into guided The primary concern of everyone isn’t about spiteful vendettas against would be a better place without organ- option should be of little comfort to anyone, but it seems to be the only one. tary funded research on a broader scale, involved should remain student welfare; those we love to hate; this is about stu- ised religion. The problem is that the for- A quorate vote in the UGM will draw a line under this affair one way or or to put it metaphorically; there would- whether that means Taylor’s welfare, or dent welfare. mation of organised religion is another, but it is difficult to imagine a bout of executive blood-letting feeling n’t be the atomic bomb without ‘It is naive to think the welfare of the entire student body. Grace Fletcher-Hackwood behaved inevitable. This is due to two principal like a good result. Einstein’s theory of relativity. Crude as Unfortunately, seeing as Fletcher- absolutely unacceptably, but for several factors: the first of these is that through- this is, if the end result is a weapon, this that Britain would Hackwood is usually the final word on reasons, she should not be made to out history we have seen a psychological surely makes the university complicit in what is and is not for the welfare of the leave. Firstly, for the sake of keeping a trend for human beings to believe in (or Face up to reality international conflict. ever let the quality of students, things are a little complicated. welfare officer who has consistently create) some form of deity.

Although I’d find it very satisfying, it The fact of the matter is that Fletcher- SAM WADDINGTON appeared nothing short of passionate The second factor is that societal The University of York is not yet ready to admit its business partners behave is in no shape or form this simple. military research drop’ Hackwood is meant to be responsible for about what she does, and secondly, groups form naturally. I personally unethically. This paper is. The government of Saudi Arabia is a deeply Scientific advancements and the military our welfare and she had undermined her though by becoming a sabbatical officer believe one of the reasons is a human repressive regime and these companies irrefutably provide the tools of that have always been connected. The Second weapons, sensors, radar and electronic position herself, way before Dan Taylor she gave up the liberty of being quite so necessity to constantly define oneself but repression. It may sound sound like doughy student rhetoric but unless World War spurred the development of warfare, which looks worryingly skewed could set up an inflammatory Facebook ridiculous in public, there is no point I know there are myriad other explana- Heslington Hall is prepared to endorse the House of Saud then it must face digital computing, the Internet and the towards military and opposed to civil group. calling for her resignation based on the tions. In a purely empirical sense I up to the reality that the companies with which it deals so closely are playing mass production of penicillin. Scientific research. Undoubtedly, there should be a I am, of course, not without sympa- opinions of a viciously vocal minority. believe the fact that societal groups are an intimate role in tyranny. research is fuelled by a certain childish large portion of funding devoted to peace thy. Other people are free to settle their By keeping Fletcher-Hackwood in naturally forming is a fair assumption to That is not to say that the University should have no dealings whatsoev- competition for discovery; and war has building and environmental issues, in personal disputes without a campus situation, and her failure to admit ade- ably be expected to set some kind of her position we are not condoning her be made. er with them, but it is impossible to have a frank discussion about the ethics often acted as the catalyst in this race for addition to transparency involving gov- furore. Other people are free to get wast- quate responsibility. In her recent state- example? Or was it because she hit a stu- behaviour; far from it. We are merely When we consider these two asser- of the situation until it is prepared to admit this. The morality of weapons national glory through science. ernment, military and university trans- ed without such allegations of gross irre- ment she fully admits it was a “fuck-up” dent, a student whose welfare she is preserving a necessary position and set- tions in unison we arrive at why organ- research is an issue for another time. It is not currently happening at York Practically all materials science research actions. sponsibility. However, Fletcher- on her part. How much weight does that nominally responsible for? Take your ting a precedent for how we as a student ised religion does, and would always and there are more immediate issues to address, the most important of has some potential in military usage and The fact that the government Hackwood stopped being other people really carry? A fuck-up? Such a term pick; people have cited any number of body should react to sensationalised have, existed. Societal groups are which is the sway that these arms companies have over very senior levels of researchers are often unfairly con- dropped an enquiry into BAE’s acounts when she chose to become Welfare hardly smacks of remorse, let alone indi- these reasons for the inappropriateness campus morality battles. Indeed, you’d inevitable and sadly, the animosity and York’s administration. demned for creating what can be seen as of fraud emphasises their allegiance to Officer. Let’s not be overdramatic; being cates that she’s taking the issue even a lit- of her behaviour. It’s a justifiable and be naive to think she won’t be punished power structures which accompany them For all the University’s protestations, £7.7m pounds will buy you an the blueprints for destruction. Dr Alfred company’s researching military develop- a sabbatical officer doesn’t entail a saint- tle seriously. damning critique; but does inappropri- at all for her misdemeanour, because it’ll are also. We have countless examples of excellent seat at the table and the undivided attention of some of its most Nobel, the creator of dynamite, was one ment over environmental. But the fact is hood. However, it does require an aware- In addition to this, she described the ate really amount to so much that she be quite some time before anybody can corruption by the church throughout the most important decision makers. Indeed, on its website the Computer such attacked scientist, who on reading a that the military is an ingrained part of a ness of one’s actions, and more impor- incident as at worst “inappropriate”. should lose her position? take her remotely seriously. ages but is this not true of so many non- Science Department brags of the strength of its relationship with the indus- premature obituary entitled ‘the mer- nation state that will want to absorb the tantly, taking responsibility for one’s fail- Perhaps it was, but I think Fletcher- I do think that there is a sustainable The prospect of the upcoming UGM religious institutions as well? If, hypo- try and in some ways this is undeniably beneficial to students. The opportu- chant of death is dead,’ felt compelled to greatest minds across the academic ures. Hackwood is underestimating the gravi- defence for her to remain Academic and brings with it the opportunity of reach- thetically, there hadn’t been religious nities in research and development can be exciting and worthwhile. But in establish the Nobel Prizes to leave a bet- fields. But therein lies the crux of the prob- ty of “inappropriate”. On what level was Welfare Officer. As a starting point, ing a final decision. In this way we can crusaders needlessly slaughtering each other respects it is extremely frightening. There is no denying that as univer- ter legacy. In an ideal world research would be lem. Fletcher-Hackwood’s main mistake her behaviour inappropriate? Was it though she is ultimately responsible for hope to come to an end of the whole other there would have been other sities jostle for lucrative research contracts there will be moments when a Now, it’s the international setting dedicated to finding solutions to the was not the punch itself. That was, I’m because she, our main advocator of safe her own actions, it is difficult to see that messy situation. Whether Burton and groups fulfilling that role in any event; sturdy ethical policy will seem like a hindrance. It’s a slippery slope and one that’s important. With constant global most pressing humanitarian problems sure, a temporarily lapse in concentra- drinking, was so excessively drunk? Was Taylor is doing anything other than rel- Bayley will advertise it as much as they look at the Rwandan genocide if you we can’t afford to let our mercenary business partners drag us down. economic, intellectual and political con- we’re facing at the moment, it’s just a tion, if quite a major one. It was rather it because the event she was at was a ishing every continuing minute of the planned to, to get their ethical merchan- need a case study. tention, it is only to be expected that the great shame it isn’t. her awkward subsequent handling of the campus event, where she should reason- scandal. As somewhat of a celebrity dising bill through, is another matter. Organised religion is in itself noth- UK’s military budget is now the second ing negative. The ability to believe in the highest in the world. It’s naive to think existence of something higher facilitates Ending in tiers that Britain would ever let the quality of the ability to accept moral realism; put its military research drop and allow The monopoly of the Ftr bus service is set to stay if we do not act simply, to believe in the existence of Over the summer Heslington East has gone from a vague concept, existent other countries on the international wrong and right. On a personal level the only in the white binders of its planning documents and the minds of ambi- stage to supersede it. Now I’d be the first existence of something higher than one- tious University administrators, to a building site south of Field Lane. The person to point out the UK’s shady arms However, for those unlucky souls economics: the introduction of the Ftr scope and duration to have any impact. always walk, or cycle along the city’s self can help provide one with a sense of diggers and workmen have moved in but the University has still to success- deals, (Saudi Arabia, anyone?) but surely who have to endure the expense and was an ambitious and expensive project Last Friday’s meeting between First many bike-friendly routes. perspective and assist in guiding one fully excavate the anxieties of students. The most recent spectre is the it’s better that we’re at the top than coun- unreliability of the cumbersome purple for the bus company and the council. and YUSU was a step in the right direc- And if you’re unlucky enough to live through the moral maze that is everyday prospect of two campuses, segregated by prohibitive pricing. In the worst tries like, say, China, which has become monstrosities that represent the bus From the alteration of York’s twisty tion. It alerted the bus company to the in Acomb and need to use the bus to get life. imagining Campus East flourishes, funded by astronomic room prices and Sudan’s largest weapons supplier. company’s inane view of the future (or streets to the actual purchase of the fleet. concerns of so many of its most lucrative to campus every day try the student term The question of whether god exists, growing shinier and more magnificent by the day, while Campus West crum- It also shouldn’t be forgotten that a ‘ftr’, if you’re twelve), it was a kick in the And with the ticket machines replaced by customers. But it would be naive to card. Just four return journeys per week however, is completely immaterial to the bles slowly from neglect. lot of research has either been trans- teeth from an organisation that has revenue protection agents, the company expect any knee-jerk response. later, you will have got your money’s argument. It doesn’t matter what form Let’s be clear. It’s neither practical nor sensible to dig one’s heels in and ferred to or created for the civil field. failed to keep its promises. has twice the original wage bill. In the meantime, it is important to worth, even at last year’s prices. societal groups take. Be it religion, race oppose the campus expansion; it’s going to happen. The focus now must be QinetiQ, one of the companies of the Nick Staines and Joe Chapman Buses constantly arrive late, the What is more, First has a near- point out the alternatives. To get from The fact is, First will not change or even football teams, it is inevitable on striving to retain what works about the University’s current form. Chief condemned, developed the bulletproof Contributing Writers mobile bus information system is vastly monopoly of bus services in York. So as uni to town, try the Veolia 28 that circles their monopolistic ways because of a that the uglier aspects of human nature amongst these positive elements is the intimacy such a small campus affords. vest, for example, and a research pro- under-used and often wrong, and the long as similar numbers of people con- campus. Or there’s the 746 East short-term boycott. Only a sustained, will sometimes prevail and manifest Some of this will inevitably be lost but the problem will be massively exacer- gramme to be set up at York is investigat- First’s decision to increase fares for buses malfunctioning ticket machines have tinue to use their buses, First will have no Yorkshire service, every 90 minutes from systematic refusal by Ftr’s most lucrative themselves through these institutions. bated if we allow a situation to develop where the two campuses are barely ing safer landing techniques for civil air- across the city of York earlier this month been replaced by moody and impolite incentive to change their greedy, profit- the library stop. customers to use the below-par service Pretentious students need to remember recognisable as being of the same entity. Talk of ‘collegopoly’ is not an exag- crafts. Such multinationals not only pro- received little press or public attention. It conductors, who take a huff at the idea of seeking ways. This is why last week’s boy- If you’re in a group, a taxi ride can will make them take any notice, by hit- the flip side: sometimes the positive geration - a scale of colleges from Old Kent Road to Mayfair is real a possi- vide financial aid, they give a certain was an inevitable and unspectacular having to give change. cott organised on Facebook – though not be a snip, or if you have the time, and it’s ting them where it hurts the most – their aspects will prevail as well. This is just bility and a disastrous one. credibility to departments seeking pres- reaction to an inflation like any other. But enough of the truth; here is the a bad idea in theory – was too limited in not pouring down with rain, you can ‘pkts’. human nature. >> ANTI-SEMITISM M6-7 >> TRAVEL M14 SPRING WEEK THREE Investigating racial hatred in an internet age Cusco is the true Peruvian capital Wednesday January 23 2008

The house headache: what does your dream home look like? M12 - 13 M2 Columns 23/01/08 Muse 23.01.08 HeidiBlake A new hatred Nicky Woolf investigates anti-semitism in the 21st Century >> M6-7 Manu Chao Screw the World- The South American music sensation talks to I’m heading West Gina Heslington about

his influences >> M9 t’s unfortunate that housemates, and continue going Leader of the Free World Christmas – the most won- about their busy, fulfilling lives. (Martin Sheen) rises to his feet, derful time of the year, so Now the house is empty, thundering “I’m tired of waiting, Iwe’re told – is always and you are forced to entertain dammit! This is candy ass! We directly followed by at least yourself. Perhaps you could have are going to draw up a response SPECIAL: three months of drab, grey mis- a stab at one of those job appli- scenario, I’m going to give the ery. No sooner has the last of the cations? Not wise, you think. order, and we’re going to strike Finding a house turkey been devoured than the You’re riddled with Seasonal back today!” “Yes!” I cry, reach- twinkling lights are torn down, Affected Disorder; potential ing for another doughnut. Antonia Shaw and Liam the trees are cast out of doors to employers will sense the lethar- “That’s exactly what I would say rot in the street, and batches of gy a mile off. How about finally if I were President!” O’Brian go through how to misguided presents are returned getting started on Crime and On my own for hours, get a happy home in a good to the shops to raise funds for Punishment? Well, maybe. But watching the West Wing with that last hoorah of feverish con- just one episode of the West the curtains drawn, the bound- location >> M12-13 sumption, the January sales. Wing first. Oh, and there might aries between fiction and reality Once this distasteful process has be a bar or two of chocolate in can become alarmingly blurred. run its course, there is nothing the fridge… Why isn’t real life like this? Misery literature left but to hunker down for a And this is how, night after These glowing, wisecracking very long, very dark winter. night, my housemates return, stars make my real friends look A brand new genre is Ennui sets in first, then flushed and bright-eyed from like pasty, vapid zombies. They emerging; harrowing despair. Productivity is impossi- long days of rewarding endeav- don’t understand me! They true-life stories. Alex ble. “I’m bored!” You wail at your our, to find me sprawled on the don’t see I’m a world-class housemates every morning. sofa, surrounded by half-eaten strategist and policy maker; my Forsythe explores its roots >> M15 “There’s nothing to do! I’m snacks and discarded wrappers, searing wit is lost on them. going mad in this post-apoca- and embarking upon episode Perhaps they’re jealous? Perhaps lyptic winter hell!” “Can’t you fourteen. I should go to Washington, hurl The new capital of Peru start your essay?” they suggest, It’s a curious thing, the myself into the cut and thrust of helpfully. “Of course not!” you obsession among some students U.S. politics, and start a new Venetia Rainey got bad food poisoning on the way bark. “I don’t have any of the with fast-paced, dizzyingly life… to Macchu Pichu. Stranded in Cusco, she discovers a books I need!” They blink at you. scripted American dramas like Suddenly I am C.J. Cregg, “Perhaps you could go to the the West Wing. My theory is striding back and forth the Oval city stuffed to the brim with hidden gems >>M14 library?” they gingerly enquire. that we’re bored enough to crave Office. I counsel the President. I “Go out?” you squeak, incredu- high action and stimulating dia- brief the press. I practise whip- lous. “Out there? You’re expect- logue, and listless enough never ping off my glasses and slipping Arts: DramaSoc’s Body Film: Charlie Wilson’s war ing me to trudge for miles to try creating it for ourselves. them back on again for maxi- through rain, sleet and snow for These shows are the perfect mum effect. There’s a commo- Shock season and Have I Got reviewed >> M22 a few crumby books?” antidote to the monotony of tion in the office. We’re polling News for York >> M18 B&R: Risotto Alli Studenti, Even as you utter these undergraduate life. to establish our job approval; words, you catch a glimpse of In the onscreen corridors of bad results could scupper our Music: We look back on plus double-dating on the view from the window. power, the likes of Josh Lyman chances of a second term. 2007 in music and check out Swinegate >> M16 Outside, the sky is blue, and a and Sam Seabourn stroll faster Others have become bogged pale, winter sun is shining gen- than I run, sipping coffee and down in detail, but I see the big- New Zealand Dub >> M20 Listings: Events to bright- tly through the bare trees. Birds communing in urgent tones. In ger picture. “This is an impor- en your January >> M23 are singing. Children are playing the Situation Room, Leo tant poll!” shout Josh and Leo. on the grass. You draw the cur- McGarry slams his fist on the “I’m well aware of its impor- tains. “I’m staying here”, you say, table, enraged by the truculence tance” I reply acidly, swinging firmly. “Suit yourself”, say your of yet another rogue state. The my glossy auburn hair. “I’m also

tions in the nineteenth century, and their driveway, suggesting that these days his RobinSeaton relation to Fulford street names, he claimed knowledge sadly resides solely in the realm of that, despite having spent thirty-eight and a unrealised potential. It seems that this man’s The old git mutters into his pint half years going round the world with the caravan had been disposed of in his absence, army, he still knew twenty ways to get from never to return. Alas, his twenty routes are York to Hull with a caravan. Twenty. Why, I destined to remain forever Platonic, ideal, The first few weeks of any new year are nothing but Yorkshire puddings and coal. wondered, why on earth would a man who never to be realised in our all-too frail and apparently a time for doing things that will She also happens to be the only woman in knew nineteen ways from York to Hull (with mutable reality, victim of a callous God igno- prolong the first flush of youth; joining the quite some time to give me her phone num- a caravan) attempt to find a twentieth? After rant of the joys of caravan ownership. gym, giving up drinking and other such stu- ber. all, the two cities aren’t so very far apart; Still, as an example of practically appli- pid pursuits. I've even engaged in some of The other day some friends and I went surely one or two of routes one through nine- cable information, his search for new cara- these desultory activities myself in my for a walk across Millennium Bridge, to teen must have distinct advantages over the van-friendly routes between the Humber and younger days. However, in the first weeks of Bishopthorpe and beyond. Aside from the others – pubs with comfy seats, for example; the Ouse certainly knocks my most useful 2008 I seem to have been coming into con- usual youth social interaction with the youth; cafes selling scones perhaps, or an absence of achievement of 2007; an essay I wrote last tact with the elderly with more than usual ("Got any fags mate?" "I don't smoke." "Bet low bridges. term on pictures of witches in Elizabethan frequency. they ‘ave, let's mug 'em to check") we encoun- But this man’s insatiable thirst for England, into a bloody cocked hat. Which The first of these was my octogenarian tered an annoyingly cheerful old man who knowledge had led him to search out new just goes to show that even if we’ve complet- next-door neighbour, a woman with possibly demanded to be referred to by the fairly inac- and innovative means of getting from York to ed our annual visit to the gym, or drunk one the most Yorkshire name in the world (I par- curate moniker of 'Grumpy Gramps', despite Hull with the impediment of a caravan. pint fewer this week than last, all our aphrase somewhat to protect the good lady's having a perfectly serviceable given name of Arguably, the most curious aspect of this achievements are as nothing next to the eld- privacy): Edna Thrucklewaite. She may as his own – Joe, or something. A man with an already curious tale is the complete absence erly and their compendious and arcane well wear nothing but flat caps and dine on impressive knowledge of Anglo-Russian rela- of a caravan from this man’s garden and knowledge of the local highways and byways. 23/01/08 Columns M3

SocialPariah Lily Eastwood is the fly in the ointment You thought you were bumbling and charming. A sort of Hugh Grant method; it works particularly well if you’re a little bit well spoken, and a fair bit middle class. Stuttering and stumbling your way into his heart, the perfect cover for social awkwardness But it’s all a little bit Rain Man really, when you’re sitting in the mid- dle of your seminar, awkwardly, if not actually sweetly, muttering to the group. “Um, uh, err….” Look at me! Look how endearing I am – don’t you want to protect me? Ecstasy bubbles up inside you as he finally opens his mouth to talk to you. “Are you drunk?”

Your eyes meet across the bar. Accidentally of course, but then you accidentally look again and he winks. By some glorious serendipi- ty he ends up next to you in the club. Once more unto the breach, dear friends, in search of a real man. He’s tall, he’s got facial hair; maybe he’s not the freak the others have been. Can I get you a drink? Of course you can. All brushing fingertips and coy smiles . I am the envy of everyone. But wait? Did he just say “actual choon”? He must be so cool he’s ironic. He hands his phone across. A flirty message? “U r a qt”. Shit. He can’t even read.

A friend once told me that as the New Year chimes in your state of mind is indicative of the rest of your year. Two minutes to mid- night, smelling slightly of sick and leaving rubber gloves and my aware that if we don’t start the little sister’s friend crumpled on the floor, I scamper down the phone banks right now, I won’t stairs. My nearest and dearest are gathered around the TV, arm in have time to leak the internals Blake 13:32: the parable of Chav D arm. Jools is leading us into 2008. New year, new hope, let the to media outlets before we hit good times roll. Three, two, one… My sparkler doesn’t light and the weekend!” The others nod My personal congratulations go out to “Ethical merchandise? I’ll show you my champagne fizzes down my chin. I am fated to spend 2008 sagely, wowed by my lucidity Grace Fletcher-Hackwood, YUSU’s ethical bloody merchandise!” and coughing, spluttering and playing with fire, whilst my friend is in and candour. “Start the banks!” diminutive Academic and Welfare swung in a stiff right hook. the garden vomiting onto my mum’s bush. I cry, and 30 men and women Officer turned free-marketeer, who Quite how she managed to reach obediently pick up their phones lent clout to the Union’s decision to his hairy earlobe, which is where the There’s nowhere colder than the night bus stop, nowhere in the and start dialling. scrap its Ethical Merchandising Policy clunk apparently landed, is a matter world. I huddle knee to knee with my gig-going buddies and share My telephone rings. I last week by swinging the clunking fist still under investigation. the come-down after a wild night. Three pints, then chips and snatch it up eagerly, yelling of student welfare directly into the However, few would deny that cheese. Like I said, wild. Suddenly, someone taps me on the shoul- “Give me some good news, god- beatific face of Dan Taylor, self- the episode is a modern fable of bibli- der. I turn round to be greeted by the happy face of a clubber. “Do dammit!” into the receiver. It’s appointed Guardian of Public Morals cal proportions. Move over David! you know how to get to Exeter?” He enquires. I am a little puzzled, my mum. She wants to check and sometime scourge of the NUS. Step aside, Samson! This spunky but ever willing to help. I begin: “Well, there probably won’t be a I’m eating properly. I survey the If the slurred reports of onlookers heroine doesn’t even need a slingshot train until morning, but–“ “Nah mate! I said where to get some carnage of comestibles around are to be believed, the spat occurred – she’ll floor Goliath and strike a blow ecstasy!” Note to self: I am not rock and roll. me, and utter a low, guttural when Taylor, a giant among men in for feminism with a mere flick of the groan. physique if not in subtlety of thought, wrist! “Why would you take them off?” “They were really hurting!” “You I am not in Washington. I approached Fletcher-Hackwood out- “Sound the alarm! Call the police! could hurt yourself going round barefoot.” “I could have hurt am not eating properly. And it side Chav D. I’ve been assaulted!” the stricken giant myself continuing to wear them!” The way I saw it was simple. is still winter. “Have you made Drawing himself up to full height was heard to roar, as Fletcher- Shoes equal crippledom, no shoes equal ability to go get a drink. I any progress with your work?” and salivating visibly, he bellowed: Hackwood beat a hasty retreat to could see them from the bar, nestled under a sofa in the Ziggy’s she asks, nervously. I tell her “You guys are, like, well hypocritical higher ground. “Gutted, mate. You’ve champagne room. A couple were conveniently warding thieves off that she should not expect too about all that ethical merchandise just been whacked by a midget,” his by snogging on the sofa. A minute later, I look back. Couple still much too soon. Checks and bal- stuff!” Whereupon, Fletcher- loyal companions helpfully intoned. snogging, shoes gone. Last I heard of them they were confiscated ances make rapid change Hackwood, who makes up in pluck Surely, this is the stuff that for being thrown around the dance floor, but were reclaimed by impossible. We have to take what she lacks in stature, shrieked dreams are made of. some girl. Shoe-thieving tramp. I wish I’d had verrucas. Congress with us.

his guests playing naked twister was, she asks, are you going to say to your They could have a point - when did WillHeaven in retrospect, a bad idea. So was parents when you finally speak to you last play naked twister at a the idea to relocate the party them?” He pauses , seemingly unsure Badger Hill house party, or have to Corey Delaney is probably a onto the street - a move which of the answer. “Um, well, sorry?” go home when the police dog-squad ended in his neighbours’ cars Irritated, and now determined turned up? More likely, you drank tool, argues this week’s guest being wrecked. to get a full apology from the teenag- saffron-coloured punch before quiet- But to many, Corey Delaney er, she takes a firmer approach. “Why ly staggering to the garden where, in Both nipples pierced, topless, and is the “patron Saint of partying”. don’t you take your glasses off so we the pouring rain, you miserably only interviewed when wearing He is the epitome of cool, mascu- can see you, and then apologise to realised its potency. Are we missing oversized yellow sunglasses - Corey line, I-don’t-give-a-shit-what-you- your neighbours for frightening out on true, untainted debauchery? Delaney has made a rude impres- think adolescence. And it’s diffi- them?” “Uh, I’ll apologise, but I’m Maybe Corey Delaney is, secret- sion in the Australian media. When cult not to admire his resilient not taking off my glasses - they’re ly, an idol to us. He represents the his parents went on holiday to performances on Aussie TV. He famous.” He’s right - they are famous. uncaring, uncompromising attitude Queensland, the 16 year-old threw a speaks in a surly monotone, giving He has been interviewed live several of someone who has fun no matter myspace-organised party for five one-word answers which rile his times, offered a place in the what the consequences. Honestly, hundred teenagers in his Melbourne interviewers. Australian Big Brother house, and though? Delaney’s probably a tool. home. Asked by a Channel Nine pre- has work lined up with a some of Forget his nipple rings and yellow The night ended messily, with a senter “what on earth” he was think- Australia’s lad mags. sunglasses. Give me a York house police dog-squad raid, a $20,000 bill ing, Delaney’s answer is blunt and So, there it is. For many party any day - sickly punch and for damage and, after some delay, an reasonably to the point. “Um,” he teenagers, the more debauched the vaguely sensible, almost adult fun. I arrest for Delaney on charges of drawls, “I wasn’t… really thinking.” party, the better. The more nipple- hate to be boring guys, but I’ve got a child pornography. Photographing The interviewer moves on. “What, piercings the host has, the cooler. nine fifteen. M4 Columns 23/01/08 AuntySara UncleSam Our resident cross-dressing agony couple tell us what to do when faced with a dispute of the worst kind: a food feud

h yes, the “Fresher food-feud”– so Dear Uncle Sam and Aunty Sara, ast year, the four big supermarkets arti- memorable…so pitifully clichéd that I ficially raised the price of dairy by £270 Awonder if it deserves any more atten- I am engrossed in a feud with the girl who lives across the corridor from me. She Lmillion, meaning you; the hapless con- tion than the concoction of the alliterative sumer paid more for your precious milk. term which I have just achieved with such started it; she finished my milk which was clearly labelled “Do not touch”. To teach Understandably, you are hypersensitive to linguistic dexterity. Unfortunately, now that her a lesson, I ate her chocolate cake and left a note saying “Now you know what it milk and its exorbitant price tag. This girl the dazzle of my genius has subsided and the feels like”. I nstead of writing me a chastised a pology, she poured my Marks & should have been more aware of this despica- gin is nigh-expired, it seems I am left only Spencer apple juice into my bolognese! The fridge has become a ble underhand financial coup. But then, per- with your little quandary. You appear quaint- war-zone, and our other flatmates have started to c omplain. haps she is too aware and felt the pinch. The ly unaware of what a “special” person you are. only way she can enjoy a cup of tea is by Due to my inherently benevolent nature, I What should I do? scrimping from people like you. Poor cow. feel it is my duty to explain yourself to you. So, kiss and make up. Feuds, especially From many years of observation, I have Yours in desperation, wars of culinary attrition, will only end in concluded that the tiresome drunk-baby tears. By the sound of yours, this means that antics of University students are generally Hungry, Derwent what lies in store is a massive and disastrous symptomatic of separation-anxiety from the escalation campaign that will end in her set- mother. So accustomed are you to continual ting fire to both you and the fridge. You’ve petting and feeding that when thrust out of clearly been affronted, and in response this cushy environment Freshers soon lashed out at her vicariously through her become aware of a gaping, empty hole inside. chocolate cake. This is a common problem; After frenetic attempts at bonding, and occa- but food is the innocent party here, so don’t sionally copulation, with anything with a let your pudding, gateau or trifle get caught pulse, some rejected and lonely Freshers in the middle of any domestic. Before more form strong ties with food in an attempt to milk is spilt, sit down and talk over your feel- fill the void. While some such students sim- ings. Is it really about the milk? Or is it the ply keep out of the way by hoarding the food latent sexual desire, flirtatious instigations to in their rooms and muttering “mine”, others something more? If that is the case, I hear feel the need to put their issues out there. You food can provide an interesting dimension to are undoubtedly the latter. Luckily for you, spice up your love life. judging by your combatants reaction to your If your advances go unanswered, then it incessant stick-note posting, you have found is time to end this anally retentive behaviour. a fellow freak. It’s just milk. So what if she just finished the Unlike normal people, who probably remaining inconsequential dregs? She is not would have just smacked you on the head your enemy. Instead, combat those super- and suggested you get over yourself, this girl markets; traverse to the country side, share has gleefully played along with you. Judging the price of milk by buying from an out- by the complete lack of verbal exchange it is sourced Yorkshire farmer, while enjoying the obvious that both of you have trouble com- benefits that only cooperative udder-yanking municating like normal human beings. Like can afford you. As you stroll back into town, you, this girl is just looking for a friend; per- oblivious to your original predicament, you haps for her, eating her cake is as intimate as will inevitably wish to progress in your a little cuddle or ear-rub. It seems you are dietary liberation. both seeking to connect with something. Not only can you then share your milk, Normally I would recommend cats; they are and so befriend your complaining flatmate, easily coerced into love if food is rationed the two of you can abandon the Westernised appropriately, provide excellent sources of culture which inculcated this theft and pithy heat and respond very suitably to heavy doses selfishness to join a farming collective in of gin when their mewing becomes tiresome. Cornwall, where you grow vegetables, milk Unfortunately, as the University looks cows and engage in many communal trysts askance at pets that hunt ducks, this is not where more milk and apple juice is spilt than an option for you. Consequently, suggest to ever before. You will be happy and contented, this girl that next time she requires milk you and thank this girl for awakening your spiri- will be more than happy to lend her yours, tual self. provided that you bake a chocolate cake Or, you buy another carton of milk, together. Thus you can both partake in frolics share the creamy goodness with all your flat- in the flour and post-coital sharing of cake. mates, and if someone takes liberties with the Furthermore, if this girl is scorned for much milk, then breathe, sagely nod in stoic longer and posses any natural female acceptance and recycle that empty carton. instincts, she will probably put lighter-fluid You are the bigger, more generous man for in your next culinary concoction. letting such a minor affront slide.

equality and acceptance, and if chalet in the mountains for a weekend of ski- frequently broke down into drunken, and AnnaMetcalfe there is anywhere that this ing. Melanie’s dad just happened to own a therefore widely expressive, charades. Still, I can be seen to work most ski school, and was conveniently training have never experienced such brilliant hospi- Notes from Switzerland effectively it is amongst the new staff in time for the opening of the new tality and it remains one of my favourite international student popula- season. We were his guinea pigs, so we all soirées en Suisse. I think many people here tion. At l’Université de Lausanne, ended up with two instructors each, all com- are anxious to take care of foreign residents I have been made wonderfully wel- pletely free of charge, and 3 days of wonder- to rescue the reputation of their nation from Switzerland may come. ful, snow-filled fun on some of the world’s the pit of white-supremacism into which it not seem the ideal exchange desti- The student-run body most spectacular slopes. One of my friends seems to be falling. nation for students right now. ‘Xchange’ takes care of was cursing fluently in French by the end of Sadly, my own luck in finding a Tandem After a highly contro- all foreign students, the weekend after a dramatic fall involving a partner did not come close to matching versial poster for the while an internet site button lift, some moguls and six other inno- Phil’s. Whilst he and Melanie are now U.D.C – the most popular party known as the ‘Tandem Server’ allows stu- cent, unsuspecting skiers. friends for life, my quest for a beautiful Swiss in Switzerland – depicting three white sheep dents to search for native speakers of any It was the continual displays of warmth friendship rapidly turned into something over the Swiss flag ganging-up on and push- language they wish to learn. Contact is made and hospitality that touched me the most. like speed dating as every email I received ing out a black sheep over a slogan for “more through the server before meeting face-to- Melanie’s family invited us all for fondue asked what kind of clothes I like to wear or security”, concerns over racism within the face, and in many cases long-lasting interna- after our first tiring day in the mountains, would I be free for drinks on Tuesday at his Swiss government have never been higher. tional friendships are forged. A Canadian providing Swiss wine and cheese. After the place. My favourite, from someone called The posters made international news, friend of mine, Phil, met Melanie, a Swiss sixth or seventh bottle was open, everyone Lionel, swiftly asked me to meet him for ‘fun triggering U.N. involvement in order to cool girl from Verbier, through the server and was chatting away, though some in consider- time’ in his flat in Montreux. I politely the situation. However, the events have pro- only a few weeks later he had wangled me ably better French than others. Much declined. Perhaps I’ll have better luck next voked a huge counter-reaction promoting and five others rooms in Melanie’s family amusement ensued as our communication time. Your career is no laughing matter.

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Red Gate Software Ltd. t: +44 (0)870 160 0037 ext.8556 St John’s Innovation Centre, f: +44 (0)870 063 5117 Cowley Road, Cambridge e: [email protected] CB4 0WS United Kingdom www.red-gate.com ingeniously simple tools M6 In-depth 23/01/08 Anti-Semitism in the 21st Nicky Woolf investigates Holocaust, post September

acebook’s upcoming ‘Hug-a- comes from, to a certain extent, the turbingly regular basis, it does not nec- Middle East are now so high; but they Jew-day’ has more than claim that Jews have of being the ‘cho- essarily follow that these attacks are were not always. If the state of Israel 150,000 people listed as sen people’.” anti-Semitic; but neither does it follow was created as a safeguard against anti- Fattending it, both Jewish and “So often people who are not that that they are not. Rabbi Garber seems Semitic attacks, it has succeeded in cre- otherwise. As such internet groups do, moral will be anti-Semitic,” continues unsure: “Even now the Palestinians, the ating a new group of anti-Semites it has instigated some interesting dis- Garber, “because as long as a Jew exists Arab neighbours, would not want to where before there were none. It makes cussions. Many have accused the group recognise Israel as a Jewish state. identifying anti-Semitism incredibly of encouraging anti-Semitism, saying That’s not because of territory, that’s an difficult. Where does racial hatred stop that it highlights a difference; the hug- “No Jews were killed in the 9/11 anti-Semitic thing.” He pauses. “Well, and hatred of the occupation tactics of ger and the huggee. Others have it’s a bit of both. But it’s not solely a ter- a powerful military force begin? defended the group; it is about spread- attacks,” he said. “Number of ritorial thing.” Richard Bessel, a History ing ‘the love’, they say, and that accusa- Rabbi Aharon Cohen of the anti- Professor at the University of York spe- tions of anti-Semitism highlight a seri- wrongs the Jews did to Adolf Zionist sect Neturei Karta gave a con- cialising in the aftermath of the World ous oversensitivity. A worrying number troversial talk at the University of York Wars, clarifies the fact that the late have taken the opportunity to make Hitler: 911. Coincidence?” in February last year entitled “Anti- 20th Century saw “the mixing of hostil- racial slurs; one comment simply says Zionism is not Anti-Semitism”. He ity towards Israel with hostility toward “damn kikes”. then that stands as a conscience against claimed that the inception of the state Jews, and the framing of contemporary The creator of the ‘Hug-a-Jew’ what they want to do in the world.” of Israel ignored the fact that the mas- anti-Semitism within political and cul- event, Nadav Karon, from Atlanta, It seems an odd claim for any one sive influx of Jewish settlers would be tural hostility to Israel in large measure Georgia, is quick to point out that the group of people, purely by merit of reli- “depriving the Palestinians of their as a result of Israeli expansionism in group was “just for fun”. He casts aside gion or race, to be able to be morally hope for self determination on the land the Middle East.” my suggestion that the concept of the superior or inferior to another. In any they had occupied for centuries,” and The relative merits of Israel’s exis- event might be construed as anti- case, surely any moral high-ground is expressed his hope that “the state tence are far too complex to debate Semitic. “I wrote in the description for sullied by the inarguably aggressive known as ‘Israel’ be totally peacefully here. There is no doubt, however, that the event that anyone who has some- defence strategies adopted by the state dissolved, to be replaced by a regime secular, territorial issues are behind a thing against Jews or Israel should not of Israel? I put this question to Garber, fully in accordance with the aspirations section of modern anti-Semitism. This join the group,” he insists. “All they are and his answer is disappointingly of the Palestinians, [so that] Arab and means that a seed-change has doing is making more work for me on inconclusive. “The media doesn’t Jew will be able to live peacefully occurred; for before the holocaust and deleting the posts. I believe that people report all the good things that come out together as they did for centuries.” the subsequent founding of the state of who are anti-Semitic are using another of Israel. The state of Israel still has a Garber argues that Israel is “very Israel, Jews were a transient race with people, Jews in this case, to blame for moral conscience, even though in the The Israel- important for the growth of the Jewish no national identity that could be their personal problems and faults.” media it is not often perceived like Palestine con- people, the growth of Jewish culture, pinned down to a specific geographical There is some precedence for this. that.” flict has the idea of self, the idea of security and location. Rabbi Alan Garber, the Jewish The state of Israel, at its inception, national pride of the people. Most I ask Bessel what effect the Students’ Chaplain for Yorkshire and was constructed as a defence from anti- invoked a new Jewish people relate to Israel. I think Holocaust had on anti-Semitic feeling. Humberside, says: “The Jews are the Semitism following the Holocaust. If it kind of anti- it’s very, very important.” Its impor- “It spelled at least temporarily - and moral conscience of the world. That has since been attacked on a dis- Semitism tance is because the stakes in the one hopes more than temporarily - if not the end then the downfall of popu- lar racialist anti-Semitism,” he tells me. “Obviously there are still people out there who think there is a racial hierar- chy of human worth and might frame their anti-Semitism within that, but my sense is that the era of racial anti- Semitism as both a meaningful concept and a political power stretches more or less until the middle of the 20th Century. What we have seen post-1945 are rather different concepts.” Some of the most high-profile peo- ple who still subscribe to what Bessel describes as “racialist anti-Semitism” are the British National Party, who now control 46 council seats in the UK. Mark Collett, one of the more vocal Nazi-supporters amongst the BNP’s leadership, told a reporter from Channel 4: “I’m going to level with you. I’d never say this on camera, yeah, and you can say this to whoever you want, ‘cos it’s true; the Jews have been thrown out of every country, including England. There’s not a single European country the Jews have not been thrown out of. And let’s face it, when it happens so many times it’s not just persecution. There’s no smoke without fire.” Assuming therefore we can write people like Collett and his cadre of Hitler-fetishists off as either delusional psychotics or dinosaur throwbacks from a bygone age, there are still sever- al visible types of anti-Semitism 23/01/08 In-depth M7 Century the ways in which anti-Semitism has adapted to the post 11 age of Facebook, White Supremacy forums and the BNP

around. Yet another asks “So you’re saying... no- I ask Bessel to elaborate on his one else is worthy of hugging?” “rather different concepts.” “It strikes When I dig a little deeper on the me as undeniable,” he says, “that hostil- page, I find comments that are more ity to Israel does get mixed in with hos- worrying. “I’m gonna wear my face tility to Jews. There is a fair amount of mask because I don’t want to get my hostility to Israel in and around the eye poked out by a hook nose,” says a Middle East and in the Muslim world student at the University of Texas who which is all mixed in with hostility to goes by the surreal alias of Reverend Jews. We also know that The Protocols Right: The Hug- Diamond. He defends his statement of the Elders of Zion is being published A-Jew-Day further down with his bizarre state- in Arabic and is being circulated in ment of what he obviously thinks is a Muslim countries in a way that it really facebook fact: “No Jews were killed in the 9/11 isn’t any longer in Europe.” group, and attacks. The alleged hijackers were The Protocols of the Elders of Zion anti-Zionist never confirmed to be deceased. is a pamphlet originally published in protesters. Number of wrongs the Jews did to Russian in the early 20th Century Below: Former Adolf Hitler: 911. Coincidence? Or just which purports to be the transcripts evidence that America is a farce con- and decisions of a meeting of Jewish BNP Youth trolled by dirty, hook-nosed, circum- elders in which a plan for world domi- leader Mark cised Jew bastards”. A schoolboy asks: nation was set out. It’s all very conspir- Collett “In the process of the hug, will the Jew claw come out and take my money?” Another states: “Stereotypes are usual- ly true, because all Jews have large noses and large saving accounts. Stereotypes don’t just come out of thin air.” While this seemingly provides evi- dence of the remnants of a Jewish con- spiracy theory, its language seems to be updated for a post-September 11 world. Meanwhile, the more racial-trait based abuse is much older; imagery of clawed hands, hooked noses and the concept of “penny-pinching”. A Jewish student named Jason answers Diamond’s post. “This is a group about trying to bring everyone ‘It is now possible for internet together... I don’t understand [how] so many people can hate one another discussion groups to exist based on their beliefs,” he argues. “I’m a scientologist,” replies the Texan. “It’s identifying ‘my favourite Jew’ better than all religions because poor people can’t really be a part of it, and without any hint of irony’ Jews don’t like spending money so there aren’t many of those in it either.” acy-theory, but it was a catalyst for Is the internet home to the emer- operating thetan,” he writes, “and they any challenge; accusations of over-sen- many of the pogroms and massacres in gence of a new kind of casual anti- disappeared, and my dianetics advisor sitivity may be levelled at anyone who Eastern Europe in the early 20th Semitism? Or has it simply allowed told me that they were consumed by objects to the idea that a Jew is a differ- Century. That the Arab media are grass-root anti-Semites like Diamond the ghost-slaves of Xenu.” ent entity, with identifiable characteris- reprinting this text, and circulating to contact others, giving them a forum That’s not to say there isn’t a more tics. It is now possible for discussion copies of Mein Kampf, is extremely on which to rant on Facebook? There mainstream internet anti-Semitism groups to exist identifying “my interesting. It implies that anti- are lots of white-supremacist pages issue. Debbie Addlestone, of the Leeds favourite Jew” without any hint of Semitism in the Middle East is a fairly dotted around the web; I checked out Zionist Council, tells me of her own irony; or for lists to be made of Jewish new affair finding grounding in older one of the larger ones, Stormfront.org. internet experiences: “When just play- celebrities or Jewish “hotties”. While it Eastern European anti-Semitic litera- Carrying the tagline “White Pride ing online bridge, you get people abus- does highlight a difference, this may ture. World Wide”, its conversation topics ing each other and it’s usually with well be anti-Semitism in a dying form. Bessel, however, is not sure that’s make for unpleasant reading; terms anti-Semitic, vitriolic language. Often, the same words are used but the all. He comes to the conclusion that like “race mixing”, “holohoax” abound. Complete strangers who don’t know malice seems to be gone. “there’s more to it than just Nazism and As far as I can tell , however, the inter- each other at all, when they start being It is certain that anti-Semitism has contemporary anti-Zionism.” If he’s net racist community seems to be little displeased about something in the undergone fundamental changes in the right, there is a new thing to identify; more than a few distasteful but ulti- game, they’ll suddenly start with ‘you last half-century. Radically altered by an anti-Semitism that is not racially- mately harmless shut-ins, ranting and Jew’ and things like that. It’s really the existence of the state of Israel and motivated, at least not in the way that raving about “negroville” and “the jew”, shocking, and it’s happened a few the internet, it has separated into sev- the Nazis or even the perpetrators of than anything more sinister. Racism, times.” eral seperate components; the rem- the Clifford’s Tower massacre in York like radiation, at a fairly safe back- This is the most mysterious of all nants of Nazism, territorial anti- more than 800 years ago were. ground level. kinds of anti-Semitism, and the hard- Zionism and a strange new form of The Facebook ‘Hug-a-Jew-Day’, Mr. Diamond on the ‘Hug-a-Jew- est to pin down. “Jew” as a slur, often, informal, vernacular anti-Semitism. meanwhile, has gained another 25,000 Day’ forum fits this profile of ‘internet but by no means always, still linked to Discounting the issues surrounding members since I began writing. One wacko’ neatly. When challenged on the the old implications of financial miser- Israel, it may just be possible to forsee comment on the group’s forum meekly Scientology question, his answer is liness and large noses, is still used; the end of anti-Semitism, at least in asks: “Is it me or is this group horribly wonderfully bizarre. “My parents though often harmlessly between any guise that would have been familiar racist?” Another simply says: “Uncool.” couldn’t afford to transcend to the next friends. It is used almost in defiance of to the Nazis, in our lifetimes. M8 In-depth 23/01/08

he student body’ is a dis- subsequent appointment to her posi- tinctly dreary phrase, and tion of Chairman of the Pakistan for all the plaudits draped People’s Party has made Zardari one of ‘Tover our collective person- the most recognized people of his age age, it can be difficult to feel like any- group, with a number of Facebook thing more than another tea-drinking, groups springing up including the fair- perpetually-hungover microbe in a Famous ly tasteless ‘Let’s not assassinate body that already has thousands of Bilawal Bhutto because he’s hot, ok?’. them. You, my little platelet friend, are With well over 1,000 members the nothing special. But what about those group’s creator has ordered members that are? What of the students that; not to discuss Pakistan or politics but due either to personal achievement or to simply “REPSECT [sic] THE HOT- famous lineage, stand out enough to TNESS!” Zardari is a regular attendee merit the attentions of the outside students of the Oxford Union, of which his world? Here are six of these peculiar mother was president during her time creatures and the stories of how they at Oxford, and former president Luke balanced the pressures of international Tryl said Zardari was “very charismatic celebrity with their student duties of Not all students are fighting anonymity, says and engaging; he speaks confidently drinking, sleeping and eating. and eloquently.” Thames Valley Police Zimbabwean heiress and Leeds have made special security arrange- law student Chelsy Davy shot to tabloid Raf Sanchez, some are battling fame instead ments for the student since his return fame after being photographed with to Oxford this month. Prince Harry in Argentina in 2004. anything more exciting than walking her role in Léon at the age of 13, and First Twins Barbara a nd J enna When Davy moved to Leeds in around in big coats and leggings or gaining admission to Harvard for psy- Bush started college (Yale and the September 2007, the paparazzi dutiful- drinking coffee could be worth thou- chology (one place per 11 applicants) University of Texas, respectively) in ly migrated north, setting up a perma- sands. Despite claims that Davy was while performing in a Broadway ver- 2000, weighed down with the usual nent encampment outside Davy’s dropping out (the News of the World sion of Anne Frank’s Diary probably student accoutrement of pots, pans Headingly flat. The Daily Mail’s dis- ran the headline ‘Leeds… my a***’), she didn’t help. More frustratingly still, it and heavily armed government body- comfort was palpable as it reported: remains at the University, often seen in seems Portman is actually intelligent guards. Both followed in the footsteps “The living-room walls of these houses her local Vodka Revolutions. enough to deserve to be there. She of their parents – First Lady Laura are typically covered in posters of rock Aged 66 and after completing two enjoyed straight A’s, speaks five lan- Bush went to Texas, while the some- bands. A penis, 3ft high, has been successful (and fictional) terms as US guages, and contributed to a major what intellectually mediocre George drawn on a mirror in shaving foam in President, West Wing star Martin was a fourth generation Yalie. Like her one.” Her student neighbours have Sheen, took up a place at the National mother, Jenna was a member of allegedly been offered £300 for pic- University of Ireland, Galway in ‘It was suggested that Sheen national sorority Kappa Alpha Theta. tures of her, whilst university security September 2006. Sheen embarked on a A blogger at Vanderbilt University have gleefully adopted their new job of tightly focused course of English front a campaign against the described the sorority as “Jesus-loving, frogmarching Literature, Philosophy and bible-hugging and Southern bred.” In u n w a n t e d Oceanography. As a reformed alco- rising price of baked potatoes, 2001 both Bushes were arrested in p h o t o g r a - holic, Sheen opted out of most fresher’s Austin, Texas and charged with being phers off week activities, allegedly spending “Well, he’s partly Irish isn’t he?”’ minors in possession of alcohol. A c a m p u s . much of his time in debate with the month later Jenna was charged with Snaps of university chaplain instead. Well study in 2002, pithily entitled ‘Frontal using a fake ID (the ID read ‘Barbara the post- known for his left-wing political views, Lobe Activation During Object Pierce’, the maiden name of her grand- graduate there was an unsurprising scramble Permanence’. To the disappointment of mother and the former First Lady) to s t u d e n t amongst student groups to enlist his the tabloids, her only major foray into try and buy alcohol. In 2003 a member d o i n g celebrity in the activist’s arsenal. He the public gaze was neither an unex- of the Whitehouse leaked to the press soon became involved in protests pected pregnancy nor a leaked sex that Jenna and Barbara’s Secret Service against the Irish government’s decision tape, but a resounding rebuttal to code names were ‘Twinkle’ and to allow US bombers to refuel at Harvard Crimson’s article which ‘Turquoise’ respective- Shannon, as well as against the accused Israel of “racist colonial occu- ly. It’s still exploitation of mushroom pation”. She signed her response with u n k n o w n pickers. Proposals were also her real name, Natalie Hershlag. whether the mooted that Sheen front a During her summer break Portman names were campaign against the ris- would unwind by filming Star Wars: directly lifted ing price of baked pota- Episodes I-III, each of which took hun- from, or simply toes in the university can- dreds of millions of dollars at the box inspired by, the teen. One student specu- office. What a slacker. ‘My Little Pony’ lated: “He's got an Irish As the world’s shock at the assassi- playset. After her background hasn't he? He'd nation of Pakistani opposition leader From L-R: graduation in 2004 probably love to have a Benazir Bhutto began to subside, its Chelsy Davy, it was reported that baked potato.” gaze turned to her son and political Martin Sheen, Barbara’s possessions Natalie P ortman was successor, 19-year old Oxford student were flown back to already a target Bilawal B hutto Z ardari. Zardari left Bilawal Bhutto Texas by Air o f Oxford at the end of last term as the Zardari, F o r c e resent- reasonably anonymous Bilawal Barbara and One. m e n t Lawalib, (the adopted surname is his Jenna Bush, a f t e r first name backwards) a History and Natalie student at Christ Church College. His mother’s Portman death and h i s 23/01/08 Interview M9 La Revolución del Fortuna

Manu Chao’s rebellious lyrics have led fans to call him South America’s Bob Dylan. Gina Heslington catches up with him after a gig to talk politics over a cigarette

riot of intoxicated fans crash where, you’re somewhere. Don’t think- what to do than anyone else. For every Despite Chao’s mysterious into each other. Dreadlocks fly about tomorrow. Think about the pres- song of mine, take ten people and ten answers, his refreshingly humanistic as voices rise in sporadic ent, it’s your present.” different meanings will come out. That’s approach to music production is A chanting to exotic beats. Compared to a modern day Bob what I like. That’s why I never explain revealed in his projects and collabora- Marijuana smoke clogs the air, and as a Dylan for his rebellious songs of protest, my songs. When you see the world, tions. After a chance meeting with thousand arms lift the crowd crushes in it is hard not to be moved by Chao’s you’ve got this rage and you have to find Amadou and Miriam, a blind couple a heave forward to get closer to the gusto. His new album La Radiolina a way of putting it out positively. My from Mali, “good química” - good chem- stage. This is the electric sensation of therapy for that is to write songs to get istry - made him agree to produce their Manu Chao live. rid of my negative emotions. After that album, Dimanche A Bambako, that has In a small room adjoining the ‘Then, I question his current its up to people to since sold over half a million copies. after-show party Manu - born Jose- find their own Future plans include an album Manuel - Chao raises a Fortuna ciga- guiding influences. He laughs. meaning produced with members of a rette to his lips, casually offering me with- psychiatric hospital in one. I accept, nervous in the presence of “Right now, only my mother; in.” Buenos Aires which he this international music legend. Chao is hopes will be released famed for his ability to cross cultural, and she always says the same next year. Eager to social and political divides with his left- know how Chao’s field compositions. In France, the stun- thing: ‘Stop smoking!’” music will progress, I ning success of Clandestino has made it question his current one of the best-selling albums of all guiding influences. He time and his follow up, Proxima captures the dizzy force of his concerts, laughs. “Right now, Estacion: Esperanza has already sold melded with the passionate cries of his only my mother; and over three million copies. In Mexico he ideals. she always says the plays to audiences 100,000 strong. “You know, it was the Zapatistas same thing: ‘Stop Compared with this, his following who first told me what was coming?” smoking!’” in the Anglophone world is curiously Chao leans forward, exhaling smoke. As I figure it isn’t lacking. When I ask him how he feels his eyes narrow in recollection fine the best time to about this, Chao gives an enigmatic wrinkles web his face, lending an air of inform Manu about response. “All the English-speaking cul- perceptive wisdom. His look is strange- the recent smoking ture of the world has been imposed ly compelling. I struggle to recall ban as, like the upon us, by television and the radio. I images of the Zapatistas. I vaguely rebellious soul he is, he sing in whatever language I want; remember images of Balaclava-clad reaches for yet another French, Spanish, Portuguese, English, revolutionaries fighting for the rights of Fortuna. Galician. I don’t respect language. I indigenous Mayans in Chiapas, Mexico, Manu invent my own words. My father goes and I return his intense gaze. Chao’s new crazy sometimes, but it’s my way.” “The message from Mexico back in album has Born in 1961 to communist Basque ‘93 was very clear, a general caution and Galician parents, the strong anti- about a lot of things that everybody already sold globalization flavour to his tracks are talks about now, such as globalization. more than easily construed as an anti-capitalist, The Zapatistas were the first people 3m copies anti-Western methodology but Chao that warned me. What I respect a lot swears this is not the case. “I don’t think about the movement is that it is still about an international message. When clean, there are no shadows. It you write a song it’s not you that has not been ruined by ego. With decides, it’s the moment - inspiration - each revolution there are the that you write. The influence for the same old problems, they start language you are going to use is the sur- good, but after a certain roundings. Right now I’m talking a lot amount of time everyone of English so later if I get a stupid idea in the same movement in the bus maybe it’s going to be in starts fighting each English. I spend a lot of time in South other. In Chiapas, in America so that explains why a lot of my fifteen years, it hasn’t songs are in Spanish.” happened. That’s Chao’s music is as diverse in style magic.” as it is in language. A fusion of reggae, With ‘Tristeza punk, ska, French chanson, Ibero- Maleza’, the second American salsa and Algerian raï, it is as track of his latest difficult to define as Chao himself. album issuing warn- Though raised in Paris, he passionately ings to George Bush, renounces his country of origin as a Chao is an attractive defining part of his identity. “What is icon for supporters of France? A banner? A border? the anti-Republican Politically, this border is only made of leaning that has killings. I don’t respect this. I’m not enveloped global youth nationalist. That way of thinking is very politics. Chao however old school. More and more I try to live remains resolutely on in the present. Years ago I used to say I the fence. “I don’t try to was a citizen of the world, now I’m an give a message with my individual of the present, that’s my music because I’m moment, that’s my house. Part of my lost in this world. I philosophy is that when you’re some- have no better idea of M10 Seasonal 23/01/08 23/01/08 Seasonal M11

ome people spend their holidays pairs of sleigh bells and Santa tummies fits”. Apparently he won’t be returning in fulfilling and stimulating for the slender Santas, each elf and next year. Ever wondered what goes work experience placements. queue supervisor had an ear piece and At least he didn’t let any of the SOthers spend them not working mic, linking us to a central control children sit on his knee - that’s very down in the Grotto? Lily at all under the canny guise of having desk. The airwaves were hummed with much against the rules nowadays - and too much revision to do. The rest of us frantic and entertaining messages: the falling asleep was an altogether less are thrust into the cut-throat world of “We’re going to need elves one, two and serious issue. When I led a family in to Eastwood infiltrates the temporary employment. It’s not glam- three for the next batch, I repeat elves find Santa snoring I tried to make out ourous, it’s not usually fun, and one one, two and three.” “Control, tell Santa that it was part of our little comedy frantic high-tech world of should be prepared to accept unsocia- number two that he can bloody well routine, “Oh no! Look! Santa’s fallen ble shifts with unsociable colleagues. wait until his break to have a piss.” asleep! Let’s wake him up!” Slightly The Christmas season offers spe- “Hold the kids in the cabins, hold the perturbed parents were reassured as international Elfing cial working opportunities for your kids in the cabins! Santa on the shop their children squealed with laughter average student. Not only could you be floor! Don’t let them see another Santa, and Santa spluttered to life with an heading up the Turkey Team at a I repeat, no double-viewings!” instinctive “Ho, ho, ho!” racism, the horrible children and the Waitrose near you, but you could also The constant banter in your left Of course, it’s not just the Santas vast and gratuitous consumerism, spend some quality time with Santa ear goes some way to break up the causing havoc in the grotto. The cus- there was something charming about down at the grotto. Only a few lucky monotony of Nintendo DS requests. tomer can be somewhat demanding the whole charade. If there was one people get to work with the big man The Santas also did their best to spice too. Messages come through from the thing that everyone was united in, it himself. Many people think you have to things up occasionally. “I know!” said control desk saying that little Talullah, was preserving the illusion for the chil- be four feet tall with naturally pointy one, “Why don’t we sing a song?” The Noah and Apple expect Santa to magi- dren. Not just for the spoilt and ears, but there are plenty of opportuni- parents look less than impressed but cally know their names, or magically ungrateful children, but for the boy ties for us taller folk to get in on the fes- the toddler grabbed my bells and bel- know what all they want for Christmas. who asked for a pair of socks for his tive action. lowed along enthusiastically. “Jingle These kids have serious expectations. granddad and the girl who asked for an I was ahead of the curve already, bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!” It’s One flustered parent asked me to pre- egg timer so she’d know how long to having started my elfing career at the a heart-warming sight, four children, tend I’d broken my arm, and apologise brush her teeth for. Despite nudges tender age of fifteen when I would two parents, grandma, Santa, and to her little darling for not being able to from their parents and their mutters of receive £10 and a couple of free mince Twinkle the Elf packed into a single make a Nintendo DS on time. “ask for something normal”, it was at pies for extracting screaming toddlers non-air-conditioned cabin. “Everybody Another surreal moment came those moments that I felt I was really a from the arms of their mothers and say cheese!” when a mother stormed back from the part of the Christmas magic. dragging them into a darkened room to The odd bit of casual racism and photo collection desk demanding to Most of the work you do over the see a bearded man. Things have moved impromptu napping from the Santas know why her child looked fat in the holidays may not look that impressive on since those days. Working in a cer- perked things up a bit. I first picked up picture. I didn’t really know what to on your CV, but holiday jobs are a rite tain London department store I made a on the vibe when, following a black say. “Its because your child, Mrs of passage for students and a precious very merry £100 per day. Easy money? family coming through, the jolly beard- Billing-Smythe, is fat” didn’t strike me chance to get out of the campus bubble. Perhaps. ed fellow nudged me and said: “It’s as an answer that would placate. It was As a hint for first years; if your parents My job basically consisted of wav- their adults who make all the problems also her little boy who kicked me and resent your slovenly lifestyle, showing ing and jangling bells as the children in the world isn’t it? Their kids are just told me I couldn’t be an elf because I them that you can do a decent days entered, delivering a family to Santa, the same as ours, aren’t they?” And I was a girl. I told him it wasn’t nice to work goes a long way, and you’re one taking their picture and returning nearly died when he told a Muslim kick, particularly since I didn’t get out step closer to convincing them that them to the shop. This is fairly stan- family that it was great that they were of the North Pole much and he was university is equipping you with a skills dard elf fare, but a vast amount of tech- “getting involved” and he thought that spoiling my holiday. other than elaborate fancy dress or nology lies behind it. In addition to ten they looked “charming” in their “out- Somewhere amidst the casual toastie making.

As the tinsel-dust settles, Sarah Foster looks back on her New Year’s resolution to clean up her lifestyle, stop drinking, eat her greens and make an attempt at exercise

esolutions are a bad idea. In getic, so I decided to go for a run. Oh ing my new found ability to have no fun theory, I can understand the dear. It was wet. It was cold. The ever. idea of improving yourself, ‘My smugness ground was muddy. And to make mat- That said, I did manage to feel Rreflecting back on past increased tenfold. ters quite a lot worse, I had misjudged rather smug come the next day. I woke wrongs and striving to right them. But my ability to be a healthy person. I had up well before midday and decided to in practice they tend to do little more assumed that I must be at least capable prepare for my seminar next week, so I than make everyone a bit depressed. Contrary to my of running for longer than a couple of headed over to the library. I had made After all, no one really likes examining , minutes. I was wrong, and wa soon pages of notes before I eventually got a their own faults. former beliefs this forced to return home looking like a text message from one of the friends I If anything is to blame, it’s the cal- drowned rat. There was no way that had been out with the night before. We endar. New Year just happens to take new healthy living feeling like this could ever be good for had planned to meet up for tea (coffee place after that most indulgent of me, could it? was out of the question, far too much times, the festive season. A time when wasn’t making me Then came Wednesday. Have you caffeine in that), but she had spent you’re expected to eat more than your ever tried to order an orange juice in most of the morning vomiting up her own weight in food in one sitting, and that much nicer’ The Nags Head? I got a strange look takeaway and so would be unable to where a mug of mulled wine is a per- from the barman, certain that I must make it. My smugness increased ten- fectly acceptable breakfast. It is a heav- walk the couple of miles to a friend’s want some vodka with it. But no, there fold, although it did now seem that, enly few days for most, but it is also house instead of driving. But then I re- would be no alcohol for me. So I sat in contrary to my former belief, this new inevitably followed by the painful real- entered the University bubble, and the corner, slurping my orange juice, healthy living wasn’t making me that isation that you must pay for your things rapidly began to go downhill. and thinking about how much my body much nicer. hedonism. It was only when I had stopped was enjoying all that fruity goodness. But it was only four days into the It was this which led me to my drinking that I realised exactly how Only when a friend turned to me, and term and I was already feeling the New Year’s resolution. A friend casual- much of my social life revolves around yelled - people seem to talk much loud- strain. Friday brought with it a house ly asked what mine was going to be, alcohol. I had hardly unpacked when I er when they’re drunk and you’re not - party, and I had barely been there five and, chin-deep in guilt, I replied with was invited out to the pub. Upon arriv- “We’re going to Ziggy’s now” that a lit- minutes before a glass of punch was the stock answer: that I was going to ing to catch up with friends, I looked tle part of me died. Ziggy’s was not the offered to me. I tried to decline, but just be a healthier person. I won’t abuse my enviously at the bottle of red wine on place for a sober me. I attempted to couldn’t. With that glass of punch, my liver, I said. I won’t eat a 500g bar of the table. Would my new health regime dance, but found it much harder than resolution went gurgling down the chocolate in one glorious sitting. I even allow for one glass? Two? A pub din- I’m used to it being. In the end, I suc- plughole. I probably ate a pizza, I don’t promised to myself that I would do ner? If I thought that was hard, it was cumbed to my fate and told my friends remember. I felt amazing. I had set my some form of exercise. In all honesty, I nothing compared to the pain I felt that I was going home. They looked at goal too high, denied myself far too would have said anything to repent for when we ended up in Evil Eye, where I me quizzically; surely I was going to many things. There’s self restraint, and the fact that I had probably eaten longingly eyed up the cocktail list. But stay until the end of the night like nor- then there’s self sacrifice. I didn’t want enough to feed a sizable village in the alas, I was being very good this week, mal? They were going to go to Efes, like to become that girl who felt guilty after preceding week. and so I looked further down the menu we always did. I sadly declined. A take- drinking full fat milk. I couldn’t For the next few days I almost and discovered the amazing selection away at three in the morning probably appease the gods of health. I was a fail- found myself enjoying my new way of of fruit juice cocktails; one point to wasn’t allowed under my new fitness ure. But I was much a happier failure life. I felt quite good about turning healthiness. I woke up on Tuesday regime. I wandered out into the rain, for having taken a few days off; I appre- away dessert or suggesting that we morning feeling refreshed and ener- feeling dejected and stupid, and damn- ciated my failure more. M12 Housing help 23/01/08 23/01/08 Housing help M13

he housing headache has well and truly begun. Friends must Guildhall Heworth WORST CASE SCENARIO be vetted, property details sift- 1 Otherwise known as town, not many 5 Just north of Tang Hall, this is a slightly Ted, and houses inspected. First- people tend to live in this area. Houses 5 cheaper area, equipped with its very own I was one of the unluckiest first years I know. My years will be starting to grasp the size of are fairly expensive, and a good walk from Costcutters and a slightly grotty Nag’s corridor, if not my whole block, was full of idiots. the task ahead of them, forging campus, but bars and shops certainly abound 7 Head. At only half an hour walk to campus, and And not even the kind of idiots you can have a bit alliances and breaking friendships as on your doorstep. a mere quarter of an hour to town, the only of fun with, idiots that I didn’t even want to they tentatively suggest housing com- downside is an increase of York St. John stu- waste energy trying to put up with. Maybe I’m a binations in covert conversations Micklegate dents. little intolerant, perhaps even a little strange. I behind closed doors. Older students Known mainly as being the side of town certainly don’t get excited about getting dressed will be weighing up the idea of having 2 with Ziggys, Toffs, and all things triple for 1 Hull Road and Tang Hall up in a ridiculous costume and plying myself to re-enter the York property chaos the price of a single. If a short walk home This is probably the most popular place with drink in order to enjoy a night. against staying with people they can no after a night out is what you’re looking for, this 6 for students to live after Heslington Last spring I found myself in the awkward longer stand. To make the next few is the place to live. Houses in this area will Road. Covering quite a large residential position of being greeted by hurried silences and months easier, Nouse have provided probably be out of the city walls in an area area, including Badger Hill, the houses are nor- forced greetings everytime I walked into my you with a step-by-step guide to the called Southbank. The best area to live is mally small to average in size, and uniform in kitchen. I didn’t particularly care, I definitely housing process. Good luck... between the local shops and Rowntree Park, a 6 build, but there are plenty of them. Hull Road wasn’t planning to share so much as a postcode really beautiful part of York during the sum- provides the backbone, with shops such as with any of my blockmates come second year, but Step 1 - Choosing mer, which spreads over both sides of the River Somerfields and the aptly-named Chubbies. the tension in the air did mean that cooking lost Ouse. The only drawback is that it is on the Well-placed between town and campus, the much of its previous enjoyment for me. your housemates other side of the river, making it quite a walk to only downsides are the possible safety prob- To be fair, I didn’t hate them, they just This can be the hardest bit of the campus. lems in an area nicknamed Wu Tang Hall (com- weren’t my kind of people. They didn’t get me, whole process. Before you even begin plaints of menacing-looking children sitting my sense of humour, my idea of fun, or the way I to search for the perfect student house, Fishergate on bins are commonplace), and the Billy Elliot dressed, and consequentially I had to face the you must first find the perfect house- Covering everything boxed in between style streets. You will never be far from fellow prospect of finding some people who did, or else mates. Living in shared accommoda- 3 campus, the barracks, the river and town, students in this residential zone. apply to live on campus again on the grounds of tion takes tolerance and, unlike in this is an excellent area to live in. With a 2 having no friends. halls, you can’t just walk down the cor- Sainsburys, an Iceland and an Aldi; cheap food Osbaldwick My next step was to attend a college social ridor to get away from whoever is irri- shopping is on your doorstep. Fairly close to With a B&Q, a village shop that delivers for students looking for housemates, and also, tating you. Most houses do not come both campus and town, quite a large number 7 newspapers and the best chippie in York contrary to my pride, start asking if anyone knew with cleaners (although some do), and of students live just West of Fulford Road, (apparently), this is a fairly good area to of a house looking for a room filler. Alas, I missed attitudes towards tidiness and hygiene where rent prices are low and the living is easy. 3 live in. Not many students do, however, making the social, and out of laziness and an unwilling- tend to be the biggest points of con- The most popular and convenient road to live much less studenty. The fairly large houses in ness to confront the idea of being homeless, I tention. Try to assess your friends on (or just off) is Heslington Road, where Efes 9 this area are only 20 minutes from campus, and ignored the issue for the rest of that year. It was objectively. Smell of smoke make you and Ebor taxis can also be found. a bus ride from town. only over summer, after a particularly worried wretch? Check whether any of your inquiry from my parents, that I realised I had to new friends nurture secretive night- Fulford Heslington do something. A friend of mine (I did make time habits. That disorganized girl who An area often largely neglected by the Incredibly close to campus, and a lot less some) put me in contact with a group of com- is sweet at the moment will be much 4 student population, houses around here 8 8 depressingly residential than other areas plete strangers who were rumoured to have a less endearing when her late bill pay- are generally fairly cheap, and can often in York, this is one of the few areas you will spare room in a large house in Osbaldwick. I ments incur extra charges. If your day cater for the larger groups, as the houses are probably already know a bit about. Great pubs called them, explained my situation, and agreed doesn’t really start until the afternoon more irregular in size and build. Fulford include the Charles and the Derry (ahem), and then and there to move in. and goes on well into the early hours of Broadway provides little more than a Post if you get bored, you can always stroll through So far my year has been OK. It hasn’t been the morning, it is advisable to live with Office and a bicycle repair shop, but also has a a field. The houses are also very pretty, and as much fun as I would have hoped, but my new similarly nocturnal animals. Finally, very good fish and chip takeaway. At about town is an easy (if expensive) bus ride away. housemates are bearable, if a little noisy. At least avoid couples. Seriously. Whether get- half an hour away from campus, and at least 40 4 this way I have a roof over my head. So if you still minutes by foot to town, although there is a University don’t have a house for next year, don’t worry, it bus, its location is not ideal. 9 Sadly, only first years can really live here. can’t get worse than this.

Step 2 - Letting agents an extra £7 per week. Step 4 - Once you have found a few prop- and landlords erties that fit your criteria, organise What to expect next Now you know who you’ll be living viewings with the appropriate letting So you’ve found your perfect with, you must decide whether to go agent or landlord. If possible, all house. Now get a move on and snap it through a private landlord or a letting Looking for living space? housemates should attend the first up! You will have to sign a contract, agency. Renting with a private land- viewing as there is no guarantee of a and arrange a guarantor for your rent, lord avoids the intermediary of the let- second, and you don’t want people to normally a parent. Remember that a ting agency and so cuts your costs. be signing for a house they have never contract is a binding agreement, so any Most privately let properties charge Enough of all this confusion and stress. Antonia Shaw and Venetia Rainey are here seen. For your own personal safety, negotiations that you wish to make ting on (sometimes too well) or break- cheaper rent as the proprietor won’t never view a property on your own. over rent, etc. must be done before you ing up, they spell stress and sleepless charge administration or referencing to guide you through the chaotic process of finding a house in just four easy steps When looking round a house, you sign. Check for a clause that enables nights. fees. They also are usually more flexi- should take the following into consid- you to give leave notice during the con- eration on top of the more obvious tract, otherwise, if you have to change ble than letting agents and you may be should also expect to put in a fair Step 3 - accommodation before the contract THE OFFICIAL LINE able to negotiate concerns such as amount of legwork to find a property. has terminated, you may still be liable smoking, keeping pets and reduced Expect to leave details with several The house to continue paying rent until your lease As people are manically booking house view- information “really misleading”. She feels so they don’t take into account the fact that summer rents. Even better, you are agencies, but don’t be surprised if you Whichever route you choose to go is finished. Take your contract along to ings, the University is recommending that its strongly about this that she is refusing to add hordes of students will be searching for hous- often allowed to paint your own rooms, are not inundated with calls. If they through, you will quickly be in a posi- the accommodation office who will students hold off, and take care before signing the information to her helpful house-hunting es and are all fully aware that they are in a definite perk considering the drab have nothing suitable for you at the tion to start looking at properties check over it for you, and keep a hard on the dotted line. Student Welfare Adviser, guide, despite being asked to do so by a direct competition with each other for the interior of many student houses. This time, usually they simply won’t contact online. Think about local amenities, copy of it. Don’t take this too lightly, as Mo Onyett warns that “people don’t leave it University official. Clare believes that there is best houses. Inevitably, good houses go quick- may all sound idyllic, but be warned, you, so make sure you keep in contact transport options - which almost you will all be responsible for each long enough before they start looking for a “real difference between what the Uni is say- ly. Clare laughed at the notion of waiting until the rented accommodation industry is with them. According to the always means buses - then distance other’s damages and debts. If you are houses in their first year. You don’t have ing and what the landlords actually want”. summer term to start looking for a property largely unregulated. As landlords are Accommodation Agencies Act of 1963, from campus and town, general area with a letting agency you may have to enough time to know the people you’re mov- She adds that she thinks “it is important to get “you’ll end up living in a shed!” not compelled to belong to a profes- it is illegal for letting agencies to ask for safety, and, of course, rent. give over post-dated cheques (cheques ing in with.” it done sooner than later, but it’s a real catch- sional body or trade association they payment for property viewings and Choosing a base rent price can be banked at pre-specified dates through- She advises students to wait at least until 22 for first years”. www.direct.gov.uk - follow the links to uni- have no reputation to uphold. This not details. If this does happen, walk swift- tricky to negotiate amongst friends, out the year), and don’t forget that the University Code of Practice on Private Onyett, however, stands strong. She versity and higher education and then click on only means that it is easier for them to ly away and call the local council. particularly if there is a massive dispar- most leases will be 12 months long and Sector Accommodation is published on the firmly believes that “there is a lot of scare- student housing. Also contains advice on legal swindle you, but also gives you very lit- Agencies are often able to sneak in ity between housemates’ accommoda- things like room size: Security, smoke will start in early July. This effectively Feburary 1. It comprises a list of private land- mongering, and there is really not any need to rights and contracts. tle to go on if anything problematic tion budgets. The average price of stu- detectors and fire alarms, proof of serv- means you will have to pay for those lords and their properties that have been reg- panic. Landlords and letting agents will does happen. If you do choose to use dent accommodation in York is around icing of the gas and electricity, power few months over summer when no-one ulated by the university set guidelines. Onyett sometimes put on the pressure... but there is YUSU - Although there is nothing on their this route make sure you know your ‘Avoid living with couples. £65 per week, but if you can stretch to sockets, furniture that stays with the will be in your house. Irritating, but continues, “there is a plentiful supply of stu- no rush to finding a property”. She was taken website at the moment, there is a housing fair rights (see box for useful websites). £70 per week, you should be pretty house, storage space, signs of damp, unavoidable. dent accommodation in the York private sec- aback when an unnamed letting agent littered in the pipeline for later this term. Students Consequentially the oft-favoured Seriously. Whether getting on cushy. At the moment prices are being mould or infestations, plumbing, cook- Finally, remember to take pictures tor and the properties that advertise first tend Alcuin college with flyers in December, are also advised to pop into the YUSU build- option is to use a letting agent. This raised across York, so keep that in ing and washing facilities, communal of every room in the house before you to be more expensive.” In fact, Onyett believes alarming the students to property shortages ing for advice and help. should ensure certain levels of service (often too well) or breaking up, mind. It is also worth remembering space, parking (if applicable), and dou- move in; those can be used as proof of that a student can delay property-hunting to which quite simply didn’t exist. as letting agencies have a reputation to you could be asked for three month ble glazing . That’s a lot to think about, carpet stains, etc. not caused by you, as far as the summer term and that “the latest The University does indeed have a valid ‘Finding a house i n York; i nformation to uphold, as well as a greater range of they spell sleepless nights.’ blocks of rent in advance and that you and the more eyes the better. and will prevent problems getting back you should have it sorted by is the beginning point; there is an abundance of student prop- make life easier’ Facebook group - Set up by properties. Your pocket will have to pay will be always be asked to pay a deposit, Remember, if using a private landlord your deposit when you move out again. of June”. erty in York. However, the vast majority of Phillipa Clare, this group includes lists of let- for this privilege, however, and there other additional charges, however, normally of around £250. Bills aren’t be extra vigilant when viewing the All that’s left is to pick rooms, and Phillipa Clare, creator of the ‘Finding a students have begun to view houses. Whilst ting agencies, and provides a forum for stu- can be a degree of inflexibility regard- from referencing charges to fees for usually included in the rent – so leave property as they are less likely to stick decide who gets stuck in the cupboard House in York’ Facebook group, deems this the University’s principles work in theory, dents to discuss areas and housing issues. ing house rules and regulations. You drawing up tenancy agreements. money in your budget for that, roughly to health and safety regulations. under the stairs... M14 Travel 23/01/08 The forgotten capital of Peru Unable to reach Machu Picchu by the conventional route, Venetia Rainey explores the former Inca capital of Cusco, where history fuses with South American vibrancy

ne of the world’s most spec- gold which once coated most walls, but religious poet that used to live there. In Breakfast came in the form of tacular treks is the Peru’s the Spanish plundering of the region one of the rooms was a holy bread yuca, a fried plant root native to Peru Capaq Nan trail, otherwise left nothing of any worth, and now the receptacle adorned with the world’s and very popular due to its high carbo- Oknown as the Inca trail. The site is fairly uninspiring. The cathedral second largest mother of pearl, pre- hydrate content. They are chewy, and classic route covers 70km and reaches that sits imposingly in the main square sented to me as just another standard taste of very little, but become better heights of over 4,200m above sea. It of Plaza del Armas is another main relic exhibited alongside the religious when dipped in guacamole, a dip takes about four days to reach the leg- tourist attraction. Whilst fairly impres- plastic effigies. served out to most obviously non- endary lost Inca city of Machu Picchu, sive, it is also very typical of its type. In terms of less cultural entertain- Peruvian diners at all hours of the day. officially named one of the Seven ment, one of the quaintest things about Bored of museums, I decide to chance Wonders of the World last year. The Cusco is the cinema. Forget any ideas the local artisan market, where Inca sense of victory after such a hike makes ‘Garish Virgin Mary dolls perch you have about giant multiplexes with Kola t-shirts are shamelessly flogged for a once in a lifetime (and fairly cost- huge screens and overpriced popcorn, beside dishevelled piles of alpaca wool ly) experience. At least, so I have been on every stand, and glass boxes and instead imagine having the jumpers. Their sales techniques are told. upstairs room in a café to yourself. You aggressive, but by no means the worst I I had the misfortune of suffering provide voyeuristic coffins for choose your own film from a wide have come across, and a firm, “No, I’m what all travellers must endure at one selection of DVDs in a variety of lan- not interested” soon forces their pinch- point or another: food poisoning. After wax models of bleeding Jesus’ guages, bring in your own food and ing hands to retract from my arm. drinking impure water whilst staying drink, and make yourself comfortable Horse riding is one of the best on an island in Lake Titicaca, I was The attitude to church interiors in in front of a wide-screen television on a ways to view the countryside and the crippled by the illness and utterly South America is on an entirely differ- few battered sofas. The perfect way to various Inca ruins splattered across the unable to keep food or water down. On ent level from anything the average pass an afternoon; cheap, relaxing, and surrounding hills. Sprawling cracks in the third day, I found myself being European Christian will have experi- with the added benefit of meeting peo- the rocky landscape act as a reminder roughly pulled out of bed, and my pyja- enced, and even to my Catholic eyes, ple (so long as you can agree on a film). of the earthquakes that yearly raze mas swapped for hiking boots, shorts used to lavish embellishments, the At night these cafes become nightclubs, Peru’s cities. Last year an earthquake of and a t-shirt. Three hours from the effect took some getting used to. where foreigners and locals alike meet magnitude 8 killed over 500 people starting point of the trail, I had to Garish dolls representing the Virgin up to dance and drink. Whilst the older and destroyed over 20,000 buildings. admit defeat. My family went on with- Mary perch on every stand, and glass generations sit by the windows, cooling The earthquake was felt as far away as out me, and a rather put-out porter boxes provide voyeuristic coffins for themselves in the night breeze, the Bolivia and Ecuador. As a result, Peru travelled back the five hour journey wax models of Jesus, complete with younger ones either linger in the dark is in a state of constant recovery, as sta- with me to the nearest town, Cusco. crown of thorns and bleeding limbs. corners or gyrate on the bar, an appar- bility is constantly undermined by nat- Thankfully I was in one of the best The area around the altar is so over- Machu Picchu ently far less frivolous activity in Cusco ural disasters. possible places to amble around for a whelmingly richly adorned with colour in Peru is one of than in York. Nightlife here is by no When the day finally came for me couple of days and wallow in self-pity. and gold (often fake) that one begins to means exclusively for the pretty young to rejoin my family at the heights of Cusco was once the capital of the whole wonder at the concentration of any The Seven things, which makes for a much Machu Picchu, I felt none of the satis- of the Inca empire (its name comes praying church-attendee. Wonders of more relaxed atmosphere. With faction gained from physical endeav- from the Quechua “Q’osqo” which Cusco is a city to be explored on the a few Pisco Sours (a mouth- our and achievement. It was a misty means “navel of the world”), and it was foot, and discoveries made on your World puckeringly strong regional morning, and the area was hidden in only centuries later when the Spanish own will be infinitely more rewarding. brandy served straight up swirling shrouds of impenetrable white conquest arrived in South America One of the most beautiful, and qui- with lime and egg cloud. As the ground began to heat up, that the capital was moved, eventually etest, churches I came across in my whites) in the stom- however, the ruins slowly began to to its current location of Lima. With a days of recovery was La Merced, unlist- ach, I felt ready to appear, tentatively, as if unsure of population of only around 300,000, it ed in my guide book. I meandered my join my new local whether we were deserving or not. is positively rural in comparison to way through small burrow-like sets of friends… High up on a mountain covered in Lima’s 9.2 million strong demograph- rooms carved out of stone with reli- thick tropical vegetation, a day’s walk- ic. This is evident in the safe and gious murals depicting hell splashed ing distance from any signs of previous relaxed atmosphere of the city, relative- across the walls, appar- civilisation, I finally began to ly sheltered from the crimes that seem ently used as inspi- understand the power and to pervade so many other South ration for the beauty of Peru’s American cities. Tourists are rife, but history. easily avoided when you step away from the main attractions, which are hardly worth the money in the first place. Most will visit the Coricancha, the architectural ruins of the Temple of Sun where mummies were suppos- edly kept by night and taken into the sun by day. Its former resplendence was based on the sheets of 23/01/08 In-depth M15 Addicted to misery

Alex Forsyth investigates the new genre of harrowing real life stories currently making the bestseller list

e are understandably more shocking, more harrowing or apprehensive about criti- more inspirational then the last, anx- cising books dealing with iously trying to stand out from the Wnon-fictional accounts of miasma of misery and earn its place as child abuse. Yet now that the market is a bestseller. glut with titles like Shamed, Damaged, According to Kate Elton, of Arrow Abandoned or Don’t Tell Mummy, and Books, the reason these miseographies swathes of eager readers compile their are so popular is that they are “gen- ‘Top Ten Tragic Life Stories’ lists on the uinely a testament to what the human web, it is time to take a closer look at spirit can endure. We all have problems this genre. Are people really choosing in our lives. This is a way of putting these books in order to learn something things in perspective.” new? Or are we as readers addicted to This idea, that by reading these the twisted misfortunes of others? catalogues of abuse we would gain In 2005, a last minute book pur- some inspiration for our own problems, chase at Heathrow landed me with is put forward by author and publisher Dave Pelzer’s A Child Called “It”, one of alike to justify them. Yet it is hard to see the first misery-biographies. An what inspiration we may gleen from enthused Amazon.com reviewer the graphic detailing of how “...she was describes this disturbing tract as a the slave of her stepfather - in every “vivid memoir...which moved the world way imaginable,” as detailed in the syn- to appreciate the extent that child opsis for Jane Elliot’s The Little abuse can reach.” I assumed this was a Prisoner. Surely the most we stand to literary glitch, a shocking whistleblow- gain from reading such books is a gen-

er certainly; but ultimately a one-off. tle schadenfreude and a sense of relief VENETIA RAINEY VENETIA Yet I was forced to watch in disbelief as that it is not happening to us; which their popularity grew. A year later, they might be charitably rephrased as had even earned their own genre: ‘putting things in perspective’. The ‘Tragic life stories,’ which is absurdly Observer columnist Carol Sarler placed, without the slightest hint of believes the books are bought not for irony, in the ‘Entertainment’ section in advice or for self-help, and show many big bookshops. Now it seems you instead “that, as a nation, we seem cannot pass a bestsellers shelf without utterly in thrall to paedophilia. We are A selection redubbed ‘a million little lies’ by the “Publishers love them because they’re a parade of pastel-shaded children obsessed with it. With these books we from the real media when it turned out to be a fabri- money-spinners, and the public’s staring miserably at you from their are wallowing in the muck of it. It’s all life stories shelf cation. Interestingly, Frey had previ- appetite will ensure that they remain front covers. They are unofficially rather disgusting.” ously submitted it as fiction and had big business. I’m glad to say that the known as “Misery Lit” - though let’s call I spoke to a victim of child abuse, of a major been rejected by publishers. It was only ‘misery’ genre hasn’t really found its them miseographies, if no-one has who wished to remain anonymous, in bookshop chain picked up when it was a ‘shocking true way into the audiobook lists… already coined that phrase. an attempt to explore the concept of story’. Clearly verifying the testaments Personally and professionally, I would- The miseography movement was publishing books as a way of dealing of these cases are difficult, but does n’t touch them.” kickstarted by the success of Pelzer’s with inner pain. “I know why people veracity really matter? Should the Less discerning publishers, how- book in 1995, although the genre was would maybe write it down in a diary reader feel cheated and demand their ever, show no signs of slowing, as a new arguably evidenced earlier. Since then, or a letter,” he said, “I’ve done that. That money back because a child was not sub-genre emerges that sweeps the countless books have surfaced, each can help. Once you have written it then problem of ‘truth’ under the carpet: the with their own “harrowing story of it’s yours.” He offered some advice for Fictional Misery Memoir. One such redemption.” The publisher Hodder those who might be in a similar posi- book, drawing publicity because of its deals with the majority of them but tion: “If you want to talk about it, find ‘Does veracity really matter? recent film adaptation, is The Kite were silent when approached on the someone you trust, a support group or Runner. Written in the same testimo- subject and did not return any emails. a close friend, someone you know is Should the reader demand nial style, the only difference between Their cover designs are comfortably going to listen. Selling your stories The Kite Runner and other novels is homogeneous; usually a soft-focus won’t help you; though it might make their money back because a that it’s set in Afghanistan. How won- photo of a child gazing into the dis- you money.” I ask him whether he derfully topical. tance from behind a title scrawled in a thinks publishing can be a redemptive child was not actually abused?’ The future seems bright for the child’s handwriting. The titles range or empowering process for the author. miseography enthusiast. A new wave of from Christopher Spry’s sentimental, He laughs sarcastically; “Yeah, that’s actually abused? Many of the public sequels to the most disturbing classics Child C to Stuart Howarth’s unpleasant why they publish 10 books - they want did seek refunds, claiming to having are scheduled for release over the com- (but unintentionally darkly-comic) to be empowered 10 times.” felt cheated out of real life misery, caus- ing year. So while people anticipate Please Daddy No!, followed by short However, as public demand con- ing Random House to eventually pay Sebastian Faulks’ new Bond novel or descriptive taglines inevitably includ- tinues to grow, some authors have out $2.35m in compensation. the next McEwan, I will be on the look- ing the words “damaged”, “struggle”, decided to be liberal with the truth. So where next for miseography? out for Daddies Little Earner, Beyond “abandoned” and other equally emotive James Frey’s A Million Little Pieces, a Pippa Vaughan, from the Audiobooks Ugly and my personal favourite, My buzz-words. Each book purports to be harrowing tale of drug abuse, was Publishing Association, explained, Lobotomy; A Memoir. M16 Food and Drink 23/01/08 Food&Drink

RESTAURANT: NINETEEN ADDRESS: GRAPE LANE, SWINEGATE AVERAGE MEAL PRICE: £25 (SET MENU INC. WINE) REVIEW: JAMES MACDOUGALD ✪✪✪✪✩

In the run-up to Christmas, Will Christmas set menu - three and I decided that dinner at courses for less than £20! Mine Nineteen would be the way to go was the Curried Parsnip Soup when we returned after the holi- with croutons - iceberglike in days. We took our paramours their almost-but-not-quite total along to avoid looking too much immersion - bobbing happily like conspirators or a couple. across the ample surface. It was Now, I won’t deny we forked unsurpassable and, I thought, out for this one. If you cannot typified the very inclusive char- comprehend paying £15 for a acter of British food, which does THE RECIPE main course and you think that not hesitate to ‘curry’ as High Will Heaven the whole economic register of English a vegetable as the the restaurant business is just parsnip. RISOTTO ALLI STUDENTI unreasonable (and you may be For the main I had grilled right), don’t punish yourself. On salmon and “spinach crushed a student budget the price is very potato” in a chive butter sauce. 2 plump chicken breasts, rarely right and if you think The salmon was pink, sleek and 250g risotto rice, 1.5 onions, you’re being ripped off, naturally, delicious and the sauce comple- Nineteen, off Swinegate, proved an excellent location for a Food & 1 clove of garlic, 1 bell pepper, you won’t enjoy your meal. mentary. We were for a long time Drink double-date; though its prices reserve it for special occasions Yours is no disgrace. I would entirely mystified by the spinach crouching darkly between waves ruption of ‘Grope Lane’ – but the 4 closed-cup mushrooms, not enjoy, for example, being crushed potato; the complete of mash, seething... incumbent proprietor and chef 1 cube/50ml vegetable stock, forced to flog lesser-known inner absence of any punctuation on Our companions ordered has gone some way to improving 1 lemon and some fresh basil. organs to stump up the funds for the menu had made it difficult to bloody steaks; I think they were the restaurant’s image. some laboured, ever-waning know what would be crushing trying to impress us. When they The furniture, though pow- In case you haven’t noticed, this is designer-label zip-top, replete what, and in what quantities. It arrived I was startled to see that erfully modern, sits comfortably Farmhouse Breakfast week. Greedy, over- with ‘hoodie’ and one of those turned out not to matter very the steaks were actually rare – a beneath the beamed ceiling; the weight farmers everywhere are hoping that bombastic numerical logos that much; however constructed, the rare thing to behold in North plates are huge and white; we the nation will eat a ‘healthy’ breakfast to looks like it’s been stitched on by standard template for potato Yorkshire, where any meat that even had one of those pressure- fill their already overflowing purses. Their a 4-year-old. For all these rea- accompaniments had been vastly hasn’t been scalded to within an sensitive table lamps which insidious plans will have you reading this sons and more, I never shop at improved upon. inch of the gates of Hell is com- cycles through four different stuffed with Free Range eggs, smoked Abercrombie and Fitch. I am reminded at this point monly regarded with a mixture degrees of brightness when you bacon and honey-covered, whole-grain I prioritise food. If you, like of a lamb shank I ate once in of suspicion and disgust. touch the base – so our compan- muesli. But let’s not pander to them. Based me, invest frequently, heavily Oxfordshire. The potatoes on Now, a word on the ambi- ions had something to play with on an in-depth survey of freshers viewing and unflinchingly in your that occasion (mashed, as it so ence; once upon a time, 19 Grape when their attention started to my house, the average student eats around appetite, you will find Nineteen happened) had been enlivened Lane, a higgledy-piggledy, early drift from the conversation. 5 eggs a week - that’s 50,000 at York alone. delightful - and affordable. All with squat gargoyles of black Tudor affair, was a brothel. All-in-all, an excellent place So forget breakfast. Lets talk about the four of us went with the pudding; I remember them Grape Lane is apparently a cor- to splash out. evening meal. Poaching chicken avoids overcooking, reduces sunflower-oil intake and lets you EDITOR’S PICK: BUZZ BAR (REFURBISHED) PUB: THE LOWTHER flavour the meat. So cut two chicken breasts ADDRESS: SWINEGATE ADDRESS: 8 CUMBERLAND STREET in half lengthways and place them in a cou- ple of pints of boiling veg stock for about 20 FEATURING: SUSHI, TEMPURA, KATSU REVIEW: JAMES THOMPSON mins or until cooked. While you do this ✪✪✪✪✩ ✪✪✪✩✩ with an air of importance, order your min- ion to chop stuff. As the chicken bubbles Tokyo, you may not know, is now the former involves a selection of We have settled on a pair of sofas away, take a large saucepan and lightly the world’s haute cuisine capital. vegetables and fruits de la mer in the back of the bar. The flood- brown the onion in a splashing of oil. Add Its restaurants have 191 Michelin fried in batter; the latter is a waters were blocking the front the garlic, pepper and mushrooms in that stars between them compared to preparation of deep-fried meat - door when we arrived, but chalk order. This should all be done on a low heat Paris’s 97 and New York’s 54. usually pork, sometimes chicken signs led us to a darkened alley- - if it is too hot the result will be a ruined These are not hollow statis- - coated in breadcrumbs. way side entrance. We are on our crispy mess, which happened to us twice. tics. Japanese food is imagina- Less accessible for some is fourth round of drinks, which When all of that is nearing mulchi- tive, sophisticated and steeped in the sushi, and more terrifying ranged from cider to triple vod- ness, add the risotto rice (cheap and deli- tradition - Buzz Bar comes high- still are some of its not-so-con- kas with Iron-Bru (my personal cious) for a minute or so. If you do all this ly recommended from the F&D ventional incarnations: octopus, favourite). as slowly as we did, the chicken will be pulpit (see website for full-length eel, salmon roe... You’ll hear peo- Conversations have includ- cooked. Remove this from the stock and review). ple complain that it’s raw fish, ed a loud and tasteless discus- place out of the way - possibly covered in The tempura and katsu that’s it’s ‘weird’. Tell them to get sion of theoretical offensively- aluminium foil if you didn’t use it all mak- dishes are very approachable: over it - it’s food. themed Goodricke socials, and a ing your space-man costume. Gradually add debate as to whether or not the the now chickeny veg stock to the risotto as well-dressed (if slightly the rice absorbs it and begins to cook - unwashed) elderly gentleman don’t drown it. When the rice is al dente, Competition sitting at a table full of buxom tear the chicken into strips and add to the young women is, in fact, a pimp. risotto. Chuck in the juice of a lemon, salt F&D are looking for York’s next food writer. We have had to fend off the no better night out to be found in and pepper, a glass or so of the wine and attention of two disgracefully- this city. We sit, we drink, we the minion-chopped basil. Forget the essay - instead write 350 words dressed underage girls who deliberate endlessly about juke- The final stage: find something that about how you made your favourite meal refused to leave us alone until we box choices, we send appallingly resembles a casserole dish and heat in the using cheap, easy ingredients gave them cigarettes, and a abusive text messages to the fools oven on pizza-cooking heat for ten minutes. young man claiming to be in the waiting in the Toffs queue across Take a deep breath. It’s done. Sprinkle your A bottle of Moët & Chandon for the best army who wanted to know if we town. risotto with parmesan, open another bottle entry. Make us laugh. had any cocaine. We wonder if somewhere in of white and look for a clean fork. Where else could we be but the world there is a bar that Send to [email protected] the Lowther? It is truly the shin- releases a swarm of angry bees at Recipe provided by William Clarke (send us by February 1... ing jewel in York’s crown of closing time to clear the punters your recipes - [email protected]) licensed establishments. There is out. Bees, gentlemen, bees. 23/01/08 Style M17 Style&Fashion

Haute couture need not be confined solely to the rich and ONES TO WATCH privileged, says Liam O’Brien, it is also art in its own right by Liam O’Brien DESIGNER: SIV STOLDAL

here are many misconcep- Only a select few can afford cou- indulge in a thoughtless aesthetic Siv Stodal uses the relationship between tions about haute couture. ture pieces. Consequentially it fantasy. clothes and the wearer as the basis for all of These either stem from becomes a purchase for the sick- When thought is required of us her designs. She graduated from Central St Tthe belief that every- eningly rich rather than the fash- by the designer, the conceptual Martins in 1999, years before its more recent thing modelled on the catwalk is ion-forward. At times the collec- transparency is often hilarious. Dior high calibre students such as Gareth Pugh classed as haute couture, or the tions serve the expectations of by John Galliano is perhaps the most and Christopher Kane. Her latest designs pro- opinion that the lavish dramatic a house’s mere 100 or so cou- anticipated show of all, and each mote wearibility, physicality displays featuring unwearable ture customers. There’s always year he painstakingly researches a and have a sense of mute, clothes are a testament to the a plethora of suits from Chanel theme for his exhibition to revolve industrial despair about delusion of the fashion world. and minor variations of the around. A few years ago, this theme Haute couture is actu- same dress from Armani was Marie Antoinette, a conceptual them. Her hotly anticipat- ally a legal term, with Privé. This may appea r Aladdin’s cave. What resulted was ed shows at last year’s only 13 fashion houses strange, given that the some white dresses with blood on London Fashion Week (10 of which are houses rarely make them. Last autumn, it was historical were well recieved and French) currently money from couture figures, so out came the wonderfully she features in i-D and operating under this collections, so crafted outfits so heavy that the Dazed and Confused on a label, of which only essentially what they models had to boot the wooden regular basis. around seven regularly pay for is the loyalty of frames holding them up and down show. The reason for this is influential women in the catwalk and then stop for a the sheer expense that a cou- the hope that it gener- breather. And what was the fashion MODEL: MASHA TYELNA ture collection creates for a ates profit elsewhere. world’s reaction to these fantastic fashion house and the time The process which absurdities? People were reported to As close as a human can possibly get constraints of producing, in decides who occupies have cried at their beauty. to looking like the girl from Chris Dior’s case, 13 collections the front row is the Criticism of couture is Cunningham’s Playstation advert, per year for women alone. product of years of sus- inevitable but pointless. No, it does- Ukrainian Masha Tyelna stands Though Dior, Chanel, Armani, tained, deadly serious fashion in- n’t work financially, and it doesn’t set out from the current crop of Valentino and Jean Paul Gaultier all jokery, and even to most of those the trends anymore (that is now the Eastern European models. show two haute couture collections a interested in fashion the haute perogative of Italian and Japanese ‘Otherworldly’ is a much abused year, the term’s relevance is tested couture catwalks are something of houses). What it does do is to amal- when one considers that the most an elevated farce. The strict controls gamate the skills of ateliers, make- word in fashion vocabulary, but notorious trend-setting Italian hous- under which garments are made and up artists, photographers, writers, Masha’s eyes and pale features es - Prada, Dolce and Gabbana and the remarkable products which models and marry them with the justify its usage here. Rival model Balenciaga - all simply use less emerge don’t give it social relevance, vision of a designer. The purpose of Egle has been touted as the model to expensive, ready-to-wear collections or even justify it as a high society con- couture is not to create an image to watch for 2008, but Tyelna is an to showcase cutting-edge design. struct. It is only when viewed as pure sell perfumes or bags as some interesting prospect. Last year she Despite once being a couture house spectacle that it holds any significance. believe. Its purpose is to explode walked for McQueen and Nina Ricci, Versace now follows the majority of Couture is a welcome diversion through the rigidity of normal fash- and is Miuccia Prada’s new muse. Italian houses, finding the archaic from the moribund trash that Topshop ion; it’s art in a differ- regulations associated with haute and other high street stores have ent frame. couture too prohibitive. Couture, begun to slap on the catwalk. Because SHOP: OCTOPUS however, still stands in the minds of it’s completely removed from real life most fashion media, from Vogue to there is no need to worry about obtain- Located on Coney Street, Octopus provides the younger. trendier i-D, as the ulti- ing it, wearing it or being put on a wait- colourful variations on products found in mate showcase of an atelier’s talent, ing list to obtain it. Looking through places like Utility, marking it out as a and the closest fashion comes to pictures of couture collections, a habit lifestyle shop. Astroboy T- being living, walking art. that constitutes the extent of most peo- shirts, watering-can hand- Discomfortingly, the beauty of ple’s involvement in haute couture, is a bags, Dolly Brollies these biannual collections is under- pleasure that remedies the stress of the and Pop Art-esque pinned by constraints that might sit bland ensembles we put on everyday. uneasily with those who have a Perhaps this is because the element of bags, however make it romantic view of the fashion world. choice is removed and we can simply seem like a Harajuku den. TREND: ARCHITECTURE CLOTHING sion, in effect, was to find a York-worthy Perhaps not so much a trend for the season as VENETIA RAINEY boot, no mean task, considering the propen- a concept slowly becoming part of most high sity to flooding in these parts, and their dis- fashion. The idea of clothes as architecture & CHARLIE inclination to wade in anything reaching originated in Japan with designers Yohji above the upper calf. Yamamoto (currently known for the more To their surprise, they were everywhere. subdued Y3 line with Adidas) and Junya KIRKBRIDE Pirate boots, cowboy boots, biker boots, Wellington boots, moon boots; wherever Watanabe of Comme Des Garçons fame. They Miss C and Miss V tramped through the ugly foot, least of all aspiring fashionistas. they looked people were embracing the foot- created clothes that draped in a way both ele- soggy landscape of York campus, cursing The question, Miss C ventured aloud, snuggling option. From leg-hugging over- gant and without regard for their sodden Uggs for their permeability was whether there was a fashion forward the-knee lambskin affairs to worn-out the body’s natural contours. and general inappropriateness in the face way to protect ones footsies. Was there, for ankle-skimming leather bootlets. Even at Vivienne Westwood and of the harsh elements of the North. As the example, some sort of prettily patterned night there was no escaping from them. the Prada collections last sole of Miss V’s left boot flopped off and protective bubble-wrap that could be Ugly feet and sweaty toes were prevented year both reduced the top dissolved in a puddle-shaped acidic potion adhered to the outside of shoes and used from even being an issue by the cunning half of the figure to a rectangu- of goose poop and puke, they both simul- as a water and mud repellent? After a employment of a double bluff. Leopard-skin, lar box. Current darling of taneously realised that there had to be short debate amongst themselves they heeled ankle boots competed for attention the fashion media Gareth another way. The abuse of their feet could decided that there was no such thing, and with lurid suede calf-constrictors, all seem- Pugh further tested the not continue in this manner, or else how that their precious time would be better ingly screaming, “Look at my feet!” Was this concept with alien-look- would they be able to wear cute peep-toe spent in tracking down boots made of a ploy to divert the gaze away from season- ing outfits inspired by shoes to various campus events with any something more substantial than card- fattened stomachs? Who knew? Who cared? sense of dignity or pride? No-one likes an board and children’s craft fuzz. Their mis- All they knew was that it worked. DNA and extraordinary geo- metric shapes. M18 Arts 23/01/08 ArtsReviews

BOOK: ON CHESIL BEACH EVENT: HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YORK AUTHOR: IAN MCEWAN VENUE:VANBRUGH COLLEGE REVIEW: AMY SHACKLETON REVIEW:TOM FITZ-HUGH ✪✪✩✩✩ ✪✪✪✪✩

McEwan’s novels are Last Wednesday, ComedySoc Foreman to slam joke after joke often rightly praised for brought satire crashing onto cam- into the open goal of the their close and beauti- pus with the self-proclaimedly tri- Vanbrugh-Goodricke bridge, to ful analysis of human umphant return of Have I Got great comic effect. A little while relationships. However, News For York. later Butler ranted entertainingly most of the time, these After a pilot show at their about the FTR, striking a chord relationships are well- fundraiser, 24 Hour Comedy (no with much of the audience and established before we sarcasm intended), the go-ahead providing another of the success- encounter them and was given for a full-blown series ful setpieces of the night. McEwan leans heavily on the narrator’s this term. With an audience of no However, the same topic benefit of hindsight. Even in less than 159 to impress, not to highlighted one of the problems Atonement, the new-born relationship mention a fantastically popular with the show. By inviting YUSU and its failures are only closely analysed format to live up to, expectations Officer Sam Bayley onto the show years later. were high indeed. But far from as a guest, the team had obviously In this sense, On Chesil Beach is a being intimidated by their name- opted to mock the powers that be must for any McEwan fan. It places us sake, the comedians used it to its - just like having an MP on Have I in real-time, on the eve of a wedding fullest advantage by shamelessly Got New For You. At first this night. As usual for McEwan, back- copying it. worked quite well, Bayley’s ground information interrupts the nar- For once, this was no bad attempts to offer serious answers rative, but our minds are kept firmly in thing. It provided a fully-fledged, opening him up to ridicule. the room with the newlyweds, trapped and, more importantly, well- However, as the evening pro- by their naïvety and embarrassment. known structure into which York- gressed Bayley began to be funny Unfortunately, the symbolism based material slotted with ease. in his own right. The funnier he doesn’t quite work, and the formulaic In tandem with this were loving became, the more the others switches between past and present are parodies of the BBC show - led by began to lose confidence. getting dangerously close to being bor- smooth host Sami Hussain - fea- One other downside was that ing. There is not enough complication. turing a famous lard-based inci- not everyone was aware of all the We appreciate his concept within a few dent and the verb “to lurpak”. stories used, leaving some spin- pages, an unexpected weakness for Team captain Jay Foreman ning headlines slightly lost on the Have I Got News For York provided a great evening ‘s comedy McEwan. In essence, this book is worth was comfortably the sharpest of audience. The team also slightly a read, but feels sadly like a failed the troupe, and won the most over-used the guest publication; own conventions, but to expect all gave themselves a gargantuan task experiment; McEwan without his tools. laughs; though Hussain’s deadpan the word “carp” is funny, but per- the laughs of Have I Got News For in actively chasing comparison Go back and read Atonement, and feel irony and opposing captain Liam haps not endlessly so. York that its BBC inspiration with such a brilliant comedy insti- better. Or possibly worse. Butler’s bemused ranting had A little more self-assurance delivers, with professional come- tution; the fact that they did so them snapping at his heels. The will almost certainly come as the dians, writers and an editing well - on the very first night - is BOOK: COUNTERKNOWLEDGE odd-one out round allowed series progresses and accrues its process, is insane. ComedySoc very impressive indeed. AUTHOR: DAMIAN THOMPSON REVIEW: WILL HEAVEN EXHIBITION: PASSED AS PRESENT WHAT’S ON: ARTS 2008 HIGHLIGHTS ✪✪✪✪✩ VENUE:YORK CITY ART GALLERY REVIEW: SARAH-JANE SILVESTER Comedy Night, York Theatre Royal The CIA masterminded ✪✪✪✩✩ the 9/11 terrorist Following in the footsteps of City Screen’s ‘Other Side Comedy attacks, Jesus sired a Club’, York Theatre Royal launches a new stand-up show, ‘Comedy dynasty of Merovingian This recently opened exhibition Night’, featuring Red Dwarf’s Norman Lovett and Radio 4’s Robin Kings, homeopathy sees pieces from the gallery’s per- Ince and hosted by Marcus Birdman. The show is expected to be a cures illness. There manent collection paired along- huge success. February 1, with a further show April 21. exist many people who side fresh contemporary works believe those state- from The Lodeveans Collection. Sweet Charity, Central Hall ments to be true. Each grouping, united by subject Conspiracy theories, along with quack matter or inspiration, encourages The Central Hall musical this year promises to fizz with glamorous medicine, fake history and bogus sci- people to find new ways of looking ence, all form “Counterknowledge”; at old favourites. energy. Directed by Michael Slater, Sweet Charity - a relatively “misinformation masquerading as fact.” This exhibition is a clear unknown and undervalued musical about the love between a New Thompson’s argument is that the 21st example of just how remarkably York working-girl (Alice Boagey) and a sheepish tax accountant century faces a “pandemic of credulous differently artists over time have (Jethro Compton) - includes the massive songs ‘Big thinking” even as our ability to evaluate responded to similar subjects. Spender’ and ‘Rhythm of Life’. Expect absolute magic claims made about science or history is With ancient holy triptychs juxta- from the large and vastly talented cast under Gavin better than ever before. posed with enhanced photography Whitworth’s musical direction. With the internet, “Counter - and audio-visual presentations, February 7-9, £5 for students. knowledge” has a larger following than one cannot deny the originality. ever before. But, we are warned, it’s not On the other hand, some of Tracy Chevalier Residency, York all turtle-neck wearing novelists and the connections in the pairings City Art Gallery bible-wackos; Westminster University feel a little tenuous; a classic sea- offers, astonishingly, a degree in home- food still life hangs alongside a The author of Girl with a Pearl Earring, opathy. highly sexual sketch, entitled Fans of the Guardian’s Bad Science ‘Smoking the Salmon’. Visitors are Old favourites meet modern given the silver screen treatment in 2003, is column will love this book. Thompson challenged to draw similarities classics in Passed as Present taking up residency at the gallery. A series of fights Counterknowledge using only between works in a way that is events are scheduled over the year including read- reason and, crucially, systematically- unlike typical exhibitions, but per- son curating team have been ings of her work, writing workshops, a short story tested evidence. With his razor-sharp haps the novelty is slightly tran- adventurously creative in offering competition, and book signings. prose, he not only rubbishes the credu- sient. the people of York a varied and lous world we live in, but calls on us to Considering that York City unusual grouping of works. For an interview with the Sweet Charity cast, as well challenge the “guardians of intellectual Art Gallery is relatively small and Entry is free to all, and the as comprehensive listings and in-depth previews, orthodoxy” and waken them from can afford access to only a limited exhibition will be on in the central check out www.nouse.co.uk/whats-on greedy, slothful indolence. number of pieces, the father-and- gallery until April 13. 23/01/08 Arts M19 TheatreReviews

Helen Citron looks forward to Drama Soc’s up-and-coming Bodyshock Season

This term brings something slightly attractive person, a process in which the Overall though, the decision to new for the University of York’s Drama body is seen as central; even suggesting have a theme is helpful, giving a sense Society. The ‘Bodyshock Season’, in plastic surgery. The power of the female of cohesion to the term and making which the run of Drama Barn plays will body will come under scrutiny in week sure that all the plays are considered challenge us to think in new ways about nine’s The Balcony by Jean Genet. The under the DramaSoc umbrella. Jamie our perception of the human body, is Barn will be transformed into a brothel Wilkes, the DramaSoc chair, was keen upon us. With typically theatrical where the prostitutes participate in to stress that these plays were not cho- aplomb, one society member has role-plays, manipulating their bodies to sen specifically in order to fit the theme. summed up the concept behind the sea- fulfil their patron’s fantasies of authori- “It happened by accident,” he explains. son with the phrase ‘Body Exalted, ty. Next, another Genet play The Maids, “We noticed the reoccurring impor- Body Destroyed’. sees three male actors – Tom Powis, Ed tance of the body and decided to bring Certainly, the first play on the bill, Duncan Smith and Jonathan Kerridge- them together under the title of Berkoff’s adaptation of Kafka’s Phipps – take on the task of playing ‘Bodyshock’.” I ask him if from now on Metamorphosis, is likely to live up to women, further challenging our percep- every term will have a theme. He this exciting tag line. The play charts tions of the gendered body. explains: “DramaSoc could never pick the misfortunes of worker Gregor There are, however, two plays plays to fit specific criteria as that would Samsa, who finds himself quite literally which one feels stretch the theme a lit- be against our constitution.” dehumanised when he wakes up one tle too far. Alan Bennett’s Habeus Wilkes is keen to push the idea of morning to find himself transmuted Corpus, a lewd farce about breast size seasons, rather than terms, as part of a into a massive insect. Charting the and frustrated marriage, certainly offers plan to change the image of the society experiences of a paralysed car-crash a focus on the body but is not really to reflect its increasing professionalism. victim, Whose Life is it Anyway also suited to the dramatic and startling “We need to start pushing the considers the experience of losing con- ideas suggested by ‘Bodyshock’. DramaSoc brand; a logo on every trol over the body. Furthermore, although Martin Crimp’s poster, season tickets, a strong sense of The theme that dominates the sea- Cruel and Tender does deal with dis- identity.” He finishes, however, with the son, however, is that of body image and ability and physical violence, consider- observation that “pushing for higher the sexual body. In week four’s play, The ing the play under the ‘Bodyshock’ title standards and quality is essential, but Shape of Things by Neil LaBute, the places a rather strong importance on we need an atmosphere where people attractive but manipulative Evelyn these aspects of the play, perhaps to the can make and learn from mistakes takes on average-looking Adam, exclusion of the play’s important reflec- This term, DramaSoc’s Bodyshock season offers us an because that’s what being a student is attempting to mould him into a more tions on betrayal and corruption. array of plays with themes of the body and sexuality all about.”

PRODUCTION:PROPHETESS LIBUšE PRODUCTION:THE TRIAL PRODUCTION:THE PANTO VENUE: FRIARGATE THEATRE VENUE: DRAMA BARN VENUE: CENTRAL HALL REVIEW: CHRIS SHAW REVIEW:TOM FITZ-HUGH REVIEW: BETH GANDY AND ESME ANDERSON ✪✪✩✩✩ ✪✪✪✪✩ ✪✪✪✩✩

After productions of Dahl’s male actors appeared con- From the very start, the audi- forcing the audience into the Peter Pan–tomime was an roll down Clifford’s Tower on Fantastic Mr. Fox and The vinced that they were in a ence were immersed in a dis- protagonist’s shoes - it was a all singing, all dancing, the way. A one night romp Giraffe and the Pelly and Me, farce, the female members of orientating world: discon- perfect exponent of empathy. though at times crude feast following a night at Ziggy’s an adaptation of Czech fairy- the cast were earnestly going certingly blindfolded and led Although most of the origi- of mishaps and misfortunes. was shown through an tales seems a stark departure about their business in what beyond a curtain by eerie nal directions were scrapped, The audience could expect to audio-visual display, leading from the Rubber Duck seemed to be an altogether guides. Standing isolated on the production adhered be overwhelmed by the com- Pan to save the lost boys Theatre’s usual repertoire. more grave play. This jarring the other side, unearthly rigidly to the conventions of bination of a porn-star badg- from Hook’s “lazer-tazer The company clearly strove combination was mirrored music wafted through the performing Berkoff, using er-corn, a Peter Pan with just 4000” grip. An extravaganza to broaden the work’s appeal in the awkward union of the- darkness, punctuated by a very few props or costume to a bit too much teenage angst, of costume and set (think by exploiting the comic atrical techniques such as scathing voice from above add to the surrealism of the a video pirate-extraordinaire your average Jolly Roger potential of the tales. the shadow puppet stage and the unnerving, childlike story. Hook with a seedy, transves- vision), and quite a clever The three male actors that stood redundant for attentions of the unseen cast. The play’s minimalism tite wife and Wendy, our script made this a memo- provided some light-heart- most of the play. By the time the action allowed the setting and char- token Jack Wills wannabe- rable production. edness by acting in a highly Equally disconcerting began, the audience were acters to change at any girl. Even considering this camp style, most notably were moments in which it just as unnerved as the pro- moment and gave the actors The pantomime was was a pantomime, the char- through an array of comic was unclear whether the tagonist Josef K (James licence to display the range based on a satire of society’s acters we met along the way accents. These ranged from comedy was intentional: Duckworth). As he was bom- of their talents. The dystopic obsession with Big Brother. were just a little too pervert- an evil cackle of which any during an apparently serious barded with conflicting atmosphere relied entirely Nicola Carter’s convincing ed to make for comfortable pantomime villain would scene the entire audience explanations of his arrest, on their performances, and Davina McCall(ish) charac- watching. The show con- have been proud, to, oddly seemed tempted to laugh, the audience were they delivered brilliantly. ter, shadowed by her silent tained too many borderline for a play about Czech folk- and were prevented only by inescapably sucked into his At the end, as the audi- but dutiful film crew, led the homophobic jokes for our lore, a gruff Yorkshire burr, the forbidding looks on the confusion . None of the char- ence were ushered away way through the trials and liking, and the almost three which proved uncannily apt faces of the cast. An oddly acters could be trusted, not through a tableau of K on his tribulations of life in hour long performance for the cynical grumbles of a schizophrenic production, it even K himself. knees in despair, the only Neverland. This was fol- meant that the production simple labourer. did not quite reach its poten- Director Alexander disappointment was the lack lowed by Peter Pan’s visit to felt overstretched toward the However, whilst the tial. Wright did a fantastic job of of opportunity to applaud. our beloved campus, with a end. M20 Music 23/01/08 MusicInDepth

ARTIST: JAY FOREMAN ON THE UP JAMES ALBUM: 20 SONGS ARTIST: THE BRASCOES COUSINS REVIEW: OLIVIA HAUGHTON PREVIEW: JESS POWERS DATE: OUT NOW Right, who’s next? ✪✪✪✪✩ The Brascoes were born early last year when old friends Dan Jones and Nove drunkenly Everybody loves a laugh, right? York’s resi- decided to form a band. Add mates Jonny dent musical comedian Jay Foreman has and Clymo to the mix and they have gone on A list of the bands that reformed in 2007 been cashing in on this fact since 2005 when to cause a stir in the Birmingham unsigned reads like ‘A Brief Introduction to Twentieth a charity fundraising idea got big. Four CDs scene with what they describe as ‘spiky, Century Popular Music’, with everyone, later, including a recently released ‘Best Of’, danceable indie’. They have been compared great and the good or truly woeful, well rep- Jay has become something of a campus leg- to Bloc Party, We Are Scientists and the resented. From mystical heavy metal pro- end. No, let me clarify - just a legend. The Pigeon Detectives, with singer Jones bearing- genitors Led Zeppelin, to The Police’s reg- song ‘Moon Chavs’ has generated a bit of a more than a passing resemblance to gae-inflected New Wave, to that most angry cult following in students across the country, Kasabian’s Sergio Pizzorno. Last year they of bands, Rage Against The Machine, it as a quick search of YouTube testifies. But it’s were crowned winners of the Surface seems that every genre had ancient musical not only students who are fans of Jay’s; the Unsigned Festival and have just released skeletons just aching to be brought out of BBC showed considerable interest in ‘20 their first EP by digital download. Next the closet, dusted down and propped up on Songs for Free’, the show he brought to last month sees them heading out from their a stage. Even the Spice Girls are getting in year’s Edinburgh Fringe Festival. native Birmingham and Nottingham to play on the act, miraculously finding time for Jay confesses that he “loves to make peo- Leeds, Sheffield and Manchester. music amidst pouting and promoting their ple laugh at things they shouldn’t find funny”, I met up with the band in Birmingham latest perfumes. and 20 Songs, a compilation of the best songs before they played a gig at the Old Wharf in You’d struggle to read the full list with- from his previous three CDs, does just that. Digbeth, ironically supporting the band that out running out of breath, and that’s only Titles such as ‘Chained to a Radiator’ and came second in the Surface Unsigned including the most famous groups. Start ‘Stealing Food’ give a feel of what’s in store, catchy guitar riff and melancholic melody, Festival. The four-piece clearly get on well, adding in indie legends such as My Bloody although nothing can fully prepare you for works well; if it’s a little out of place among Dan exclaiming that “you’ll never meet four Valentine, The Jesus And Mary Chain and the gleeful, yet slightly guilty, feeling the 19 comic songs then it’s heartfelt words and people who like the sound of their own voic- Dinosaur Jr. and you’re really starting to test album will leave you with. The songs range musicality are all part of the charm. es more than us,” which certainly proved your lung capacity. Now, I don’t want to from the downright silly (‘Spirograph’ and Jay’s arrangements are simple and pri- helpful for what they termed their third start a purely theoretical argument about ‘Balloon’) to the lewd and terribly funny marily acoustic, using mostly guitar, with “proper” interview. The band seem really the motivations behind the reformations of (‘Buggery Club’). And somewhere along the occasional synthesizers. If you manage to enthused about breaking out of the these musical behemoths, but I think that way Jay touches upon more sensitive issues catch him live you’re in for a treat because as Birmingham music scene, although whether it’s obvious that not all of these groups will in ‘Little Japanese Baby’ and ‘No Christmas’ good as the album is, when it comes to com- this is a move to widen their fan base or just have been prompted to reform by the same where his skillful wit and complete lack of edy, live performance can’t be bettered. Be to fulfil a curious obsession about visiting factors. While Led Zeppelin’s motives may taste give way to dry humour. warned though, this album is hardly a taste- Flamingo Land is in some doubt. have been applaudably altruistic, reuniting Jay ventures into mildly political territo- ful work. But who cares? At £5 (only 25p a to perform in honour of their longtime ry with ‘Calypso’ and attempts a “non-funny” song, he points out) Jay capitalises on our To read Jess’s interview with The Brascoes visit friend and Atlantic Records boss Ahmet song in ‘Hundred Perfect Days’. This, with a guilty pleasures and so we must thank him. www.nouse.co.uk/whats-on Ertegün, with all proceeds going to charity, surely nobody expects the Spice Girls to reach such artistic heights as Jimmy Page’s solo in Stairway To Heaven? The Sex Pistols, hardly novices at this reunion business, IN-DEPTH: KIWI DUB Olivia Haughton named their 1996 reunion The Filthy Lucre If names like Fat Freddy’s began back in the 1960s. An tion and, along with fellow tunes with more than a touch Tour; admirably honest, if a poke in the eye Drop, The Black Seeds, Kora or offshoot of reggae; dub tends to dubsters Supergroove, they of funk often refer to poignant, for any remaining die-hard punks lurking Little Bushmen mean some- focus on heavily manipulated pioneered the way. They have existential and political themes. around London. thing to you then you’re part of and rhythm-centric remixes of since released numerous Take, for example, Kora’s Nothing seems to be able to stand in a special minority in Britain. pre-existing tracks, with deep, albums and EPs, the latest of ‘Politician’ which, true to their the way of these bands’ determination to On my travels through throbbing basslines and echoey which, Heal Me, rightly roots style, expresses resistance once more appear in all their glory on a New Zealand I was irresistibly production. It is seldom found received rave reviews. Trinity to oppression. But by the same stage near you. Or, seeing as we’re York stu- taken in by the funky grooves in our neck of the woods, and Roots and Pitch Black followed token, this organic feel gives dents, it would probably be more accurate to that were all around. I was you could be forgiven for think- in the late 90s; Trinity’s Home, life and character to the less say appear soon on a stage not-particularly- struck by the duality of the ing it had almost fizzled out Land and Sea is a particularly profound songs; one of my near you-at-all. But let’s leave that minor music; mellow enough for a entirely, certainly if the British striking blend of jazz, soul, dub favourites, ‘Fire’ by The Black inconvenience aside for the moment, shall day spent lounging in the sun, musical mainstream was your and roots with beautiful brass Seeds, is guaranteed to lift the we. I mean, Led Zeppelin’s drummer has yet rhythmic enough to get up only field of reference. But and saxophone arrangements. spirits. Fat Freddy’s Drop, the been dead for over a quarter of a century, and dance to. It’s the feel-good New Zealand has done some- Add to the mix The Black icing on the cake, have broken which would seem to put a bit of a dampen- factor that got to me. There’s thing magical with this genre; Seeds, (pictured below), a into the international market er on any possible reunion talk. But fear something about the tranquili- it has taken dub to a new level supremely chilled-out and on a much larger scale than not! John Bonham thoughtfully passed on ty and easy-going vibe of New and blown the roof off. melodic 7-piece formed in any other Kiwi band and last his rhythmically-gifted DNA, begetting, as Zealand that instills in these Salmonella Dub formed in 1998, and Kora or Little year played on the Glastonbury he did, a son. The day is saved, and The artists an ability to create 1992; instrumentally weighted Bushmen, and you’ve got a Jazz World Stage. Great Band Reunion grinds forward. music quite different from that electro-acoustic dub fit for the body of work that’s well worth You might have to dig Well, if death isn’t an insurmountable of any other country, and pass dance floor put them at the exploring. deep to find this Kiwi Dub, but obstacle, how about total personal incom - the feeling on. forefront of this New Zealand The it’s well worth the effort. patibility? Sting once got so angry at Police Dub musical typically drummer Stuart Cope land that he scrawled music genera- earthy a certain four letter word beginning with ‘C’ across Copeland’s drums in vivid red letters, yet they’re once again polyrhythmically grac- ing stages after a twenty-year absence. Drug addictions? A minor inconvenience - Smashing Pumpkin Jimmy Chamberlain is clean and ready to rock after a reputedly monumental drug habit. No hurdle is too great to overcome in the grand scheme of The Great Band Reunion. Maybe we could be seeing The Beatles live for the first time since 1969. And I’m not talking about replacing John and George, I mean the original Fab Four. We can always dream... 23/01/08 Music M21 MusicReviews TRACK Ollie Elliott looks at REVIEWS the music of 2007 ARTIST: DAVID FORD 1. Radiohead changed the course of human history - Or so it was claimed in some quar- TRACK: THERE IS A LIGHT ters. Their novel album release method ✪✪✪✪✩ certainly started a debate but it remains to be seen whether it was anything more than a There’s nothing quite like a cover version of a gimmick. much loved song to cause a little debate, 2. The alternative goes mainstream - especially when its creators were The Smiths. Previously niche, alternative bands like ‘There Is A Light’ is regarded by many as Modest Mouse, Arcade Fire and The Shins their most brilliant song, so it is a brave soul all see commercial success to the horror of more and more festivals appeared to pick up 8. Hardcore Punk’d - That self-appointed who takes on the challenge of trying to make hipsters everywhere. some of the slack. Although just about any guardian of musical integrity NME spent the it their own. Step forward David Ford, a 3. Reunion frenzy - See page left. musical genre now has a festival representing year gushing at a new breed of hardcore singer-songwriter who, despite building an 4. The ‘difficult’ second album - The first of it, some of the new ones suffer from criti- punk bands. Although it’s difficult to assess ever-growing fan base following two albums, the newest wave of indie bands, such as cisms of lacklustre organisation as organisers exactly how popular any band drooled over has never been able to stand out from the Arctic Monkeys, Bloc Party, Arcade Fire and tend to focus on getting attention-grabbing by the NME actually is, the likes of The overflowing crowd of radio friendly melodic Maximo Park released their second albums acts rather than having, for example, toilets. Horrors and Gallows represent an interest- singers. this year to generally excellent reviews. 7. Kanye vs 50 Cent - In the hilarious music ing change. Ford must be credited though for the 5. An ever more desperate music industry industry spat stakes it didn’t get better than 9. Pussycat Dolls for Kyoto - The post-live 8- tremendous passion and honesty instilled took things up a gear this year with the clo- Kanye West vs 50 Cent. Following West’s cause bandwagon continued to roll as Live into his better songs, with bitter rants like sure of the beloved Oink - a very popular phenomenally successful Daft Punk hip hop Earth tried to save the world amid accusa- ‘State Of The Union’ being well worth a lis- music sharing site. The media, true to form, conversion, 50 Cent decided it would be a tions of hypocrisy and ulterior motives. ten. His daring cover of ‘There Is A Light’ is covered the story using grossly inaccurate good idea to claim he’d quit music if Kanye’s Either way, recycling statistics have appar- also a great achievement, adding a new information. album outsold his. It did, by a massive mar- ently remained stubbornly resistant to the dimension to a song that many may feel 6. Festivals overdo themselves - As the inter- gin, resulting in 50 Cent quietly disowning combined pleas of Madonna, Metallica and should be left in its original state. Just as est in live music continues to renew itself, his promise. Spinal Tap. Mark Ronson successfully re-interpreted ‘Stop Me’, Ford succeeds in giving the song a new angle. A haunting rendition compared to the original, his voice is accompanied only by a beautiful piano melody. This is a cover version that is unique enough to be recog- nised as an excellent version of one the most popular songs around.

ARTIST: KATE NASH TRACK: PUMPKIN SOUP ✪✪✪✩✩ Here, the owner of the broadest shoulders outside of the England rugby team surprises all by not releasing a single that can be witti- ly reviewed just by changing the first letter of her surname. Taking a leaf from the one- paged book of Mark Ronson (“Hey guys, ARTIST: CSS ARTIST: PATRICK WOLF ARTIST: ORANGE GOBLIN wouldn’t it be CRAZY if we used trumpets on this one?”), most of the song is taken up by VENUE: MANCHESTER ACADEMY VENUE: SHEPARDS BUSH EMPIRE VENUE: FIBBERS, YORK the quite terrifying prospect of Ms. Nash REVIEW: LIAM O’BRIEN REVIEW: OLLIE ELLIOTT REVIEW: ALEX RUSHFORTH ordering some unfortunate to lay one on her. If you manage to avoid hearing this with the DATE: 04/12/07 DATE: 02/11/07 DATE: 11/11/07 obligatory “Maybe deaf people don’t have it ✪✪✪✩✩ ✪✪✪✪✩ ✪✪✪✪✩ so bad” frequency, with which it will undoubtedly be played on Radio 1 and the Topshop stereo, then it’s a reasonably enjoy- CSS are in danger of becoming overexposed. The relationship between Patrick Wolf’s “This is the first time that we’ve been to York” able, and enjoyably short, three minute pop It’s no longer cool to say you saw them on the music and his live performance is an inter- proclaimed Orange Goblin lead singer Ben song. January 07 NME tour; you have to have liked esting one. He has concocted a powerful Ward “it’s taken us ten years to get here.” them when Lovefoxx had blonde hair and stage persona - all glitter, high camp and Well, better late than never. ARTIST: HOT CHIP sang in Portuguese. spectacularly shiny fancy dress. But this kind It’s not often you get to see stoner rock Metronomy were first on at the of spectacle can all too easily turn into garish in York and one look at a less than packed TRACK: READY FOR THE FLOOR Manchester Academy for a pleasant but and narcissistic self-indulgence. Sadly, in this Fibbers might suggest that there’s not much ✪✪✩✩✩ uneventful 45 minutes. I got bored and went special Christmas gig Patrick Wolf fell into of an appetite for such music around these to the toilet only to find fourteen-year-olds that trap. The performance itself ultimately parts. However, despite the fact that Fibbers I must confess something: I never really got with hair like bad architecture and ill-fitting distracted from, rather than enriched, the must have seemed like something of a come- Hot Chip. Apart from their obvious indie- day-glo skinny jeans doing speed. Justice music. down after their performance at the 2007 dance hybrid ‘Over and Over’, they seem to be came onstage next and, except for the preppy Perhaps part of the problem was the Download Festival, British outfit Orange a band suffering from genre identity issues. ‘D.A.N.C.E.’ and ‘We Are Your Friends’ it was music itself. Wolf’s newest album The Magic Goblin unleashed their ferocious riff-tastic The closest comparison I can make is to LCD normal, dirty electro. This is fine in a club, Position has received a frosty reception from music to a depleted, but nonetheless fired-up Soundsystem; yet the ‘Chip’s slow songs don’t but in a setting where you have expectations his fan base as a result of his switch to a more audience. create the emotional engagement of James of performance, it became dull. poppy sound. His trademark complex instru- Goblin loosely resemble Black Sabbath, Murphy’s troupe and their lack of genuine CSS arrived dressed as presents accom- mental arrangements have generally taken a with a healthy injection of punk added into dance credentials is obvious when they turn panied onstage by a dancing fat woman back seat to simpler and more orthodox song the mix. Their sound is more ‘no-nonsense’ up the tempo. ‘Ready for the Floor’ is easily attired as a Christmas tree. Lovefoxx sam- structures. At the same time, the brooding than that of their American counterparts, the second best thing they have done, the pled Missy Elliot’s ‘Work it’ to great effect, quality that made his first two albums such which can often be of a more psychedelic opening “doitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitnow” is but had previously tested the idea during dark pleasures has been misplaced. It was bent, but this is an approach that has thus far destined to become a call to arms in Toffs’ their stint as Gwen Stefani’s support. This this quality that made Patrick Wolf work so heeded them well. 2007’s Healing Through Indie room every week for the next six was CSS’s problem; all of it seemed like tired well live - his frenetic camped up style con- Fire appears to be business as usual; there is months. But it’s content to plod where it ideas forced on overfamiliar songs. Their trasted with the darkness of his songs. little of the unexpected to be had, but as their should smash. It seems they just don’t know new stuff, though, showed great progression; Without this juxtaposition, his performance live performance attests, that is perhaps no what to do with it, and I’m afraid that neither the seductive ‘Alala’ retained its bite when came over as just a little too saccharin sweet. bad thing. do I. performed live and the encore, ‘Let’s Make Nonetheless, Wolf is still fun and there were This may have been the first occasion Love and Listen To Death From Above’ was moments where we were reminded of the Orange Goblin had played in York, but hope- Tracks this week were reviewed as raucous as could be hoped. Live, CSS need magnificence of his song writing ability and fully the crowd’s enthusiastic reaction will by Matt Crawford and Steven Williams more effort and less desperation. musical mean we don’t have to wait so long again. M22 Film 23/01/08 FilmReviews

FILM: CHARLIE WILSON’S audience will take their role seri- DAVIDCOATES ously, is absurd. WAR However, the major flaw with DIRECTOR: MIKE NICHOLS Charlie Wilson’s War is Sorkin’s script. The scope of characters in Opportunity STARRING: TOM HANKS this film seems far beyond his reach knocks; will JULIA ROBERTS as a writer, the slow southern drawl of Hanks and Roberts jarring with cinema REVIEW: AMY-CLAIRE SCOTT the fast-paced banter provided for answer? RUNTIME: 97 MINS them. When Pakistani government officals are speaking in their second ✪✪✩✩✩ language just like Josh from West The Writers’ Guild of America Wing (quick, sharp and sarcastic as strike continues unabated, with Charlie Wilson’s War is the latest anyone) whilst on official business, issues of plummeting DVD residu- offering from screenwriter Aaron you wonder if Sorkin can write any- als and profits and ‘new media’ Sorkin, better known recently for one who doesn’t sound this way. sources – mostly from the internet his work in television, having creat- Hoffman gives by far the best per- and other digital services like TiVo ed the extremely successful West formance in the film, but is telling- – causing sticking-points. Wing, and the underrated Studio ly playing a character similar to For now, mainly late-night 60 on the Sunset Strip. The film those commonly seen in Sorkin’s talk shows like The Daily Show tells the true story of Texan senator more successful works. and The Tonight Show have suf- Charles Wilson (Tom Hanks) who, Charlie Wilson’s War is by no fered, with viewing figures slump- during the 1980s, helped to fund means a terrible film. It has some ing since reruns began in early covert arms deals in Afghanistan to entertaining comic sequences and November. On January 2, Comedy aid the war against the Soviet army. some harrowing scenes set in the Central began running new Julia Roberts plays wealthy war-zone. But the interesting topic episodes (without writers) under Texan donor Joanne Herring, who here, surely, is how funding the the temporary title of A Daily convinces Wilson that something $5m to $1bn along the way. can’t teach ‘em to grow tits.” The mujahideen for largely positive rea- Show, allegedly after the hosts needs to be done about the Soviet Wilson is presented as a some- line gets a laugh and is part of the sons prompted the beginnings of were told to work or have their advance into Afghanistan. After a what unattractive character, with a overall picture of Wilson’s charac- the war on terror. This topic was non-writing staff fired. While most harrowing trip to refugee camps in tendency towards womanising and ter, but the characterisation does left until the dying minutes of the American studios have enough Pakistan, Wilson teams up with a problem with the justice depart- not justify the superfluous bikini film, where it is summed-up in serialised television to last the cur- CIA operative Gust Avrakotos ment over his cocaine use. At times shots of Roberts, nor the long Wilson’s failed attempts to obtain rent season, their stockpiles won’t (Phillip Seymour Hoffman) to it feels like this side of his personal- tracking shot of Amy Adams’ but- funding for Afghan schools. The last forever, and the longer the decide what can be done to best ity is used as an excuse for the film tocks as she walks through the halls changing nature of America’s rela- strike continues, the stronger the help the mujahideen. He earns a to descend into puerile sexism. of congress. For filmmakers to por- tionship with Afghanistan was left writers’ hand may become. The congressional award for his part in When questioned as to why the tray sexist characters is perfectly frustratingly underdeveloped. It truth in these reports is not as the collapse of the Soviet Union, female staff in his office are so justifiable, but to treat serious would certainly have been much important as the fact that they increasing the budget for covert attractive, Wilson’s response is that female characters as sex objects, more stimulating than watching indicate the dispute is taking a operations in Afghanistan from “you can teach ‘em to type, but you whilst simultaneously hoping the Tom Hanks chasing skirt. turn for the ugly. The effects of the strike may become farther-reaching than legal FILM: LUST, CAUTION CLASSIC FILM: ALL ABOUT EVE issues over residuals; the perform- DIRECTOR: ANG LEE DIRECTOR: JOSEPH L. ance of the I Am Legend in the box-office is remarkable in itself. STARRING: TONY LEUNG MANKIEWICZ In claiming nearly $80m in its TANG WEI STARRING: BETTE DAVIS opening weekend, it became one of the highest-grossing movies out- REVIEW: LIAM O’BRIEN ANNE BAXTER side the summer blockbuster peri- RUNTIME: 158 MINS REVIEW: PETER MASSEY od, and has taken over $240m RUNTIME: 138 MINS since its release. Added to the nine-figure takings of National ✪✪✪✪✩ ✪✪✪✪✪ Treasure 2, Enchanted and Alvin and the Chipmunks, it is becoming Based on Eileen Chang’s short Joseph L. Mankiewicz's acclaimed clear that one of the big winners in story, Ang Lee’s Lust, Caution dark comedy takes us on a trip the writers’ strike has been explores emotional brutality in a behind the red curtain of the the- American cinema - for the way that eschews Brokeback atre business, showing the audi- moment, at least. Mountain’s worthiness and recalls ence a society of ageing divas, back- Perhaps this should come as the more subtle approach he used stabbing friends and ambitious little surprise – back in the early in The Ice Storm. Only in the last wannabes. Margo Channing is the sixties, during what was consid- act, when Lee wishes to justify its queen of the stage; successful and ered a ‘golden age’ in television, setting in the Japanese occupied we know his victim is to be his exe- at the peak of her career. However, maid and Marilyn Monroe as a box office takings took a dive as Shanghai, does the film begin to cutioner. The sex is never embar- when she offers a poor young dippy young star, are uniformly patrons found they could be just as make you feel every minute of its rassing, perhaps because it lacks actress the chance to work as her entertaining. The two male leads entertained at home, and more two and a half hours. both Showgirls’ zoological noises assistant, Margo finds not only her do not fare as well, failing to instil cheaply. As a result, the quality of Lee personally cut the film by 7 and Irréversible’s grittiness. career, but her relationships with their characters with much person- English-language cinema dipped minutes so that it could be screened Refreshing too is the absence her partner and friends under ality. But when a film receives five as studios struggled to recoup their in China. The sex scenes were cut, of complete emotional breakdown threat. Eve's youth, talent and Oscar nominations for its acting budgets. Then, as now, it took yet upon watching the film this in a film released for the awards ruthless ambition, combined with alone, you know you are watching a broad-appeal blockbusters to draw decision seems impossible. In a season. The only scene of sentimen- Margo's fear of growing old, leads quality cast. back the crowds and provide fund- conceptual sense they are absolute- tal vulgarity happens in the theatre, to a battle of wills and downright The biting, intelligent screen- ing for great works of the seven- ly essential. The initial scenes of where Lee is perhaps suggesting bitchiness between the two. play is a treat. Filled with caustic ties; The Godfather, Apocalypse Wong Chia Chi (Tang Wei) training such nonsense should remain. It Led by screen queen Bette one-liners, smart dialogue and Now and Taxi Driver are amongst herself with a co-conspirator are could even be a nod to himself, Davis, giving a delightfully seemingly endless quotable lines, the best of American cinema in a the confirmation of a predatory given that he directed the pompous performance as Margo, it's perhaps the classic example of decade of resurgence. nature already insinuated through Brokeback scene in which Michelle all the female actors are fantastic. how good writing, story and char- Though many big-budget her status as the theatrical group’s Williams rains her Hollywood tears Full of “fire and music”, she plays a acters is all a movie needs. Like projects have stalled, and many leading lady, and is developed in a onto cheap dishes, as her husband strong character who is by turns Sunset Boulevard, which also takes fear the Oscars may go the way of fascinatingly acted power-play. The forgets his ranch-hand day job. menacing and fragile, odious yet a sardonic look at Hollywood, there the Golden Globes, British writers first union between Mr Yee (Tony A masterclass in restraint, sympathetic, and strangely remi- is much ironic pleasure to be found and directors (unaffected by the Leung) and Wong is a frightening, control, and precision acting, Lust, niscent of Gloria Swanson's turn in in watching the bickering of delud- strike), may find a marked increase borderline rape. Its intensity is Caution’s only faults lie in its shod- Sunset Boulevard. Anne Baxter ed actors, writers and other hang- in demand for their work. To all of drawn from the knowledge that the dy editing and the meagre charac- impresses as the young pretender, ers-on of the industry. Whilst not the striking writers stateside, more towering masculinity on display is terisation of all the characters out- whilst the supporting roles, includ- as successful as that excellent film, power to you. being undermined by the fact that side the leading pair. ing Thelma Ritter as a cynical old All About Eve is a must-see. 23/01/08 Listings M23 What’sOn For comprehensive listings and in-depth previews, check-out www.nouse.co.uk/whats-on LIVEMUSIC CAMPUSEVENTS

EVENT: WE ARE THE PHYSICS EVENT: VIKING RAID II EVENT: NGS KENNEDY LECTURE VENUE: FIBBERS, YORK VENUE: MOST BARS IN YORK VENUE: V/045 DATE: JANUARY 25, FRIDAY DATE: FEBRUARY 7, THURSDAY DATE: JANUARY 31, THURSDAY (7:00) PRICE: £6 PRICE: £7.50 PRICE: FREE

These purveyors of “completely fictional Despite the t-shirt worries and YUSU’s The New Generation Society of York is play- mutant science-punk” (eh?) first graced a ‘organisation’, one of York’s best nights out ing host to the NGS’s keynote ‘Kennedy stage in 2005 by mistake when someone else has survived to terrorise the city once again. Lecture’ for 2008, welcoming this year’s cancelled. Robot dancing, eccentric leg For those new to the event, the t-shirt colour guest speaker, Sir Crispin Tickell. He coined manoeuvres and bad eyesight apart, they determines your route of eight bars and the phrase “climate change” and has also sound like fireworks from somewhere left of includes entry into one of the predetermined worked closely with British government since Mars. The spindly-legged boys beg, borrow clubs at the end of the route. Choose your the 1980s, influencing Britain’s environment and steal from Devo, The Skids, Polysics, route and club carefully, not that you should policy from Margaret Thatcher through to Buddy Holly and Ex Models and from now be able to tell where you are by the end any- the present day. He is probably the best-qual- on it’s going to be all spitfire guitars, rat- way but it’s best you get the same colour shirt ified person to talk about climate change in tlesnake drums and racing car vocals. as your friends. the world today. EVENT: TRUMANS WATER EVENT: THE SUGARS EVENT: RAG WEEK EVENT: BATTLE OF THE BANDS HEATS VENUE: FIBBERS, YORK VENUE: FIBBERS, YORK VENUE: YORK VENUE: GOODRICKE DATE: JANUARY 31, THURSDAY DATE: FEBRUARY 2, SATURDAY DATE: WEEK FIVE DATE: WEEKS FOUR & SIX PRICE: £9 PRICE: £6 PRICE:VARIOUS PRICE: FREE

San Diego slackers and cult indie-darlings Sweet or bittersweet, your choice. Detroit- The highlight of York students’ social calen- Entry for the annual competition to find inspired by Pavement, Captain Beefheart and esque street corner harmonies collide with der, RAG week, is here yet again. Look for- Campus’ hottest new musical talent has now The Fall, Trumans Water have adopted the tricked out hot-rods drowning in doo-wop. ward to cheap booze (in responsible closed unfortunately; but there’s still no musical term “squigglycore” - old-skool hard- Bluesy duets of heartache and jealousy with amounts), high profile events and ethical t- excuse to not get down to Goodricke core meets old-skool punk in a dirty back- candy and hairspray ‘n’ all. So banish all shirts (hopefully). Events include College and support excellent cam- street garage, recorded in one take on a crap- thoughts of sad old bloke blues bands, get a comedy at Wentworth on Monday, a pus talent. The heats will be going py cassette-recorder. Counting Sonic Youth, few spoonfuls of two gals and one guy heavi- murder mystery at the York throughout week four and the Beck and Stereolab as devotees, the 4-piece ly influenced by Jackie Wilson, The Sonics brewery on Wednesday and Battle semi - finals will continue whose breakthrough album is called ‘Spasm and the White Stripes. It helps that they look the famous RAG parade in in week six (also in Smash XXXOXOX Ox & Ass’ are so lo-fi it’s like they’re straight out of the retro 1950s the centre of our glorious Goodricke). The final will be ridiculous. milkshake parlours. city. Guilt-free fun. in Vanbrugh, in week six. ART&PERFORMANCE CINEMA

EVENT: THE SHAPE OF THINGS EVENT: MY FAIR LADY EVENT: NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN VENUE: DRAMA BARN VENUE: YORK THEATRE ROYAL VENUE: ALL CINEMAS DATE: FEBRUARY 1, FRIDAY DATE: FEBRUARY 12 - 23 DATE: IN CINEMAS NOW PRICE:TBC PRICE: £5 - £19 PRICE: £4 - £7.50

Theatre by students, for students, about stu- Henry Higgins, an arrogant, irascible profes- A mesmerizing new thriller from Joel and dents. A compelling and compulsively watch- sor of phonetics boasts to his colleague Ethan Coen, based on the novel by Cormac able drama is unleashed exploring the lives of Colonel Pickering that he can train any McCarthy. A modern day Western begins four students and the intimate and personal woman to speak so properly that he could when Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin) finds a boundaries they are prepared to cross; pass her off as a duchess. What Higgins had- pickup truck surrounded by dead men. A boundaries set by the complexities of art and n’t taken into account when making this bet stash of heroin and two million dollars in life, directed by Rachel Finnegan. The with Pickering was the hot-headed nature of cash are still in the back. When Moss takes Drama Barn is an excellent venue, balancing his new student. The story of Eliza’s transfor- the money, he sets off a chain reaction of cat- close intimacy with an astonishingly flexibil- mation from common Cockney to distin- astrophic violence that not even tough-as- ity; you genuinely can never know what to guished lady warmed the hearts of Broadway nails Sheriff Ed Tom Bell (Tommy Lee Jones) expect next. and West End audiences for decades. can contain. EVENT: COMEDY NIGHT I EVENT: SWEET CHARITY EVENT: SWEENEY TODD EVENT: BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS VENUE: YORK THEATRE ROYAL VENUE: CENTRAL HALL VENUE: ALL CINEMAS VENUE: ALL CINEMAS DATE: FEBRUARY 9, SATURDAY DATE: JANUARY 7-9 DATE: JANUARY 25 (RELEASE DATE) DATE: IN CINEMAS NOW PRICE: £10/£5 (STUDENTS) PRICE: £9/£5 (STUDENTS) PRICE: £4 - £7.50 PRICE: £4 - £7.50

Top Stand-up comedy at York Theatre The Central Hall musical is always a show The Demon Barber of Fleet Street returns. Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead tells the Royal featuring some of the Britain’s worth seeing, and this year’s will be no Based on the long running Broadway musical story of two brothers who organize a robbery and world’s best comedians. You will exception. Under Michael Slater’s of the same name, Sweeney Todd tells the at their parents’ jewellery store. Inevitably recognise them when you see them. direction, Sweet Charity will excel at infamous story of Benjamin Barker, a.k.a the job goes horribly wrong and triggers a Acts include Norman Lovett or both dancing and snappy dialogue; Sweeney Todd (Johnny Depp), who sets up a drastic series of events that sends both broth- ‘Holly’ from BBC2’s Red Dwarf, and, of course, the singing will be top- barber shop in downtown London which is ers, their father and one brother’s wife Robin Ince who’s toured with Ricky notch. Watch out for Ian McCluskey as the basis for a deeply sinister, murderous hurtling towards a shattering climax in Gervais and written for Have I Got a scat-tastic Daddy Brubeck, and Vicky partnership with his beautiful fellow tenant, which the brothers learn more about each News for you. The night also features Jones as Charity’s world-weary best Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter). Also other than either of them had ever wanted to Nick Doody and compered by Markus friend Nicki. Sexy costumes, sexy dancing starring Alan Rickman and Sacha Baron know. Staring Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Birdman. An event not to miss. and a sexy show guaranteed. Cohen. Ethan Hawke. M24 Satire 23/01/08 LastWord Geese ’n’ Ammo Moment of Zen Gingerly dipping a finger into he University of York is design- fully-grown soldier on their back and Meanwhile, YUSU are finally work- ing weapons technologies. So not obedient enough to try. Chaos ing hard; on an audit to find out if the mysterious, unlabelled jar of Twhat? Just suppose some ensues, during which the enemy can they’re working too hard. I suspect banana republic is daft enough to buy finish their tea. this will discover that they are work- our weapons. Firstly, they will be vast- The only remaining hope is ing too hard, the poor overworked dar- current affairs and licking it ly overbudget, so El Presidente will Anne-Marie Canning’s University lings, so they will miss the bat- find himself digging deep into his Challenge team. Sneaking around the tle for massages to heal their gold-plated-Mercedes fund. They will back, they are tripped up by a perfect- poor overworked bodies. Famous campus feminist and not be completed on time, so the good ly obvious pop-culture question There is very little money part-time model YUSU socs’n’- folk of the Democratic People’s about Girls Aloud, and then throw- about. In fact, the only people coms officer Sam Bayley got a Republic of A will find themselves ing it all away because, like most with money to burn (except for copy of men’s magazine FHM for overrun by the Democratic People’s Derwent residents apparently, none the Hes East planning commit- Republic of B, which sensibly bought of them know that putting gin in a tee - but money to burn doesn’t his birthday in a recent exec meet- weaponry from Warwick. The tanks microwave may not constitute the count if you’re actually burning it. ing. “I’m not going to read it; it’s will sink, the smart bombs will not be, smartest thing a person can ever do. Which they are. On big hot bon- just a little joke,” explained Bayley, and the top-of-the-range fighter-jets Good frikkin’ going, geniuses. fires.) are the Christian Union. tucking the magazine into his will, due to budget cuts, just be Geese The only halfway-smart people The CU are attempting to attract briefcase “for safe keeping.” with cute little saddles. in this University people to the Minster Ball by The armoured transports will are working out throwing wads of banknotes off the have been clamped in Vanbrugh car ways to cheat in roof of Central Hall. park, so El Presidente’s forces will economics exams; That does it. I’m getting Following ‘condomgate’, the have to break the boycott and take the but even they aren’t my Panama hat and digging Porno V debacle, YUSU testicle-squeezingly expensive FTR to clever enough to up my Hawaiian President Anne-Marie Canning the battlefield. In the two hours before get away with it. shirts. I’ve just was asked whether Chav D had one of the stupid purple bendy-buses bought a little place by experienced similar problems. arrive, the People’s Democratic the beach on the People’s “No,” Canning reportedly replied, Republic of Warwick will have glided Democratic Republic of A. with a twinkle of mischief in her in, taken control of the oil-fields, won It’s a warzone, but it can’t eye. “Chavs don’t need con- the hearts-and-minds of the locals and possibly be any worse than doms...” sat down to afternoon tea. here. At least there aren’t any The Goose-riders sweep down ducks. A lot of confused, like a wolf on the fold, except that angry, saddle-wearing geese, geese are not strong enough to hold a but no ducks. Thank God. ...And in a similar vein, MoZ hears that former YUSU Pres and current Parliamentary can- didate James “the Badger” Nouse Crossword Alexander is in the habit of buy- ing his condoms on eBay. “It’s 1 2 3 4 5 19. cheaper,” he explained to our Cab (4) rumour-monkey. “And there’s 20. Condition leading to baldness (8) always an element of surprise.” 6 7 22. Artifical town (12)

8 MoZ’s undercover source in 9 10 11 Down York’s DramaSoc brings us new

12 insight into the bizarre world of 1. Woodland path (4) Drama males. “They all seem to 13 14 get off with each other all the 2. Runner worn in mountain time” our source wailed, “It’s all 15 sport (3) so incestuous!” “And another thing;” he added. “Why are they 16 17 18 3. Anticipated (9) all such lightweights?” 19 4. One of the third kind? (9) 20 21 5. Come after, win (7) MoZ recieved a press-release 7. Of Green Gables (3) from Cadbury’s: “The UK’s 22 10. Exactly the same (9) favourite gooey egg (?) is back, with a brand new mission: to set 11. Not animated (9) the goo free!” Apparently, Creme Eggs want to “splurge their goo Across 13. Nihilistic art movement (7) all over the place”. 17. And the rest [abbrev] (3) Sounds a bit 1. Ironing board substitute, often found in immoral. 18. Satyr (anag.) (5) hotel rooms (12) 21. Desperate Dan’s favourite food (3) 6. Ducks (8) 8. Previously, when (4) Answers available on 9. Strand of Communist philosophy (8) www.nouse.co.uk/crossword If you have any juicy tidbits or gossip to share, 12. More rosy (6) send them to: 14. Stern (4) [email protected] 15. Large gun (3) 16. Implied (8) Crossword compiled by Dexter NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 12 Comment Wednesday January 23 2008 Cuts in funding leave York tutors very well fed The students at York are left starving for some financial support whilst university staff feast off our tuition fees.

walk along pathways of gold, cannot cover. So although ties, or the odd couple of Jenny sipping Dom Perignon from the campus and our educa- hundred pounds here or O’Mahony champagne fountains in tion is supposedly “a priori- there in groups of three or Contributing Vanbrugh as we chat to each ty”, according to the four? Thus far, I have served Writer other on complimentary University, it seems that and chatted to members of BlackBerries about the diffi- money is actually disappear- the English, Philosophy, culty of employing good staff ing down two metaphorical Law, Politics, Psychology, these days. black holes. Physics and TV, Film & Instead, it is nigh on The first is Heslington Theatre departments, some impossible to walk around East. The development, esti- of them a handful of times If you were to read the campus at the moment, with mated to cost around £500 each. The need for expense University’s Annual bridge closures and swamp- million, will double the size accounts to attract clients is Financial report, an exercise like conditions on the routes of the student population, understandable, but I only that is quite an enlightening which are open, and if you give us a swimming pool, work two shifts a week, experience, as mind-numb- avoid the physical pitfalls student union venue, and which means that I probably ing as it sounds, you would there is always the constant basically our dignity back. meet a fraction of the actual discover something rather money grabbing by the We will finally have the fea- number of university staff amazing. If the figures alone University for, books, gym tures of a campus which who are spending our fees were anything to go by, any membership, course packs most other students across drinking yet another £25 York student would think and fees. Reports that YUSU Britain take for granted. bottle of wine to go with their they were attending an insti- officers have begun assault- However, the second reason venison in truffle juices. tution so awash with cash as ing students to steal their is altogether more mundane Bloated expense to put the vulgar little nou- phones and wallets remain and predictable, and all the accounts are why, to return veaux riches colleges of unconfirmed. more depressing for it. to the financial report, “plans Oxbridge to shame. So where is all this The restaurant where I to manage resources more Snippets read “there has money going? Not to the work in York, which shall efficiently failed to reduce been a 12% rise in the Library, which has faced remain nameless, is one of expenditure overall”. Perhaps University’s total income massive funding cuts, or to the upmarket eateries on a quick glance at their over the past 12 months” and Your:Books, which is shut- Fossgate. The average bill for receipts would remind the “operating cashflow was the ting down after. And certain- two people usually comes to departments who casually highest it has ever been” or ly not to Nouse and Vision, around £80. And who do I consume our money that the even “the increased consoli- whose courageous reportage see traipsing in, week after implications for students, HANLEY ADAM dated income of £187 million is currently in jeopardy week, and whipping out and for York’s financial is almost £20 million more because of increased print credit cards with ‘University future, are far-reaching and than the previous year”. costs which the union, and of York’ embossed on them a shameful mark on the These would suggest that we by implication the university, for meals of £500+ for par- record of this university. Playing with numbers The CU can be criticised for a lot, but not for their funds

UYCU’s Minster Ball last might very well argue that, as January (£17,161 – £10K of an evangelical institution, which was in fairness, raised their first priority is the James through ticket sales) and widespread articulation of Macdougald place them provocatively God’s word. This explana- Contributing beside the figure afforded to tion, which I would advise Writer a ‘homeless project’ (£45). them to learn by heart and Speaking as a compassion- repeat to their detractors, less atheist with a heart of justifies the CU’s three most ‘Numbers were never my unyielding flint, I do not feel expensive annual ventures: strong suit,’ quipped silky- able to pass judgment on the the Minster Ball, the ‘House Vacancies for Telephone Interviewers (no sales) smooth Pierce Brosnan in actions of an independent, Party’ – a gastronomic, Goldeneye. I sympathise. non-profitable and, for the Bible-oriented weekend The ‘medium’ Sudoku I most part, harmless organi- sojourn in the country – and, To carry out market and social research with businesses and attempted during a particu- sation. Nevertheless the sta- finally, a £3,000 expense the general public. larly uneventful pub-shift tistics look bad, do they not? marked somewhat chillingly the other day did not look Really bad. as ‘Freshers’. very intimidating, but within On the other hand, my The CU does not exist Do you want to work in a friendly supportive environment? fifteen minutes I was presentation of these ‘facts’ simply to funnel money from reduced to an effing and has been unforgivable. I have donors to receivers. Their blinding wreck. selected only those statistics aims, though often charita- We are experienced in accommodating the needs of students Statistics? A different that advance my argument ble, are not exclusively so. It and can offer you flexible part time hours, evening and daytime. matter entirely. Statistics are and have marshalled them to is also worth considering a suit that anyone can play. the worst possible effect. My that a lot of charitable work Full time vacation work is also available. Disraeli was right to con- treatment of the issue has is voluntary and does not demn them, not only in their depended entirely on rhetor- require financial support – capacity as a rhetorical ical sleight of hand and a working in a night-shelter, Full training is provided and you will gain experience of commu- smokescreen to disguise a complete refusal to see the for example, would be done nicating with people from all walks of life – great for your CV! bad argument, but because bigger picture. gratis. So a figure for how the person brandishing a Here follows my much was spent on a certain tight set of statistics does not redemption. The CU may be CU project does not neces- Call Nancy Sydenham 01904 632039 actually need an argument. wealthy by the standards of sarily denote the real scale of Stats have a life of their own; most York societies, but it is their input. they will, it is often claimed, not affiliated with YUSU, so I am loath to defend the Work is offered on a casual ad/hoc basis, £5.52 per hour, rising speak for themselves. there is no question of them CU, an organisation which, I to £6.00 per hour after 12 weeks. Our offices are located oppo- Take, for example, the being leant upon by the lat- believe, is benighted and cor- University of York Christian ter, with whom they try to rosive. Nevertheless, though site York race course and we are on the No4 bus route. Union’s financial audit sheet cooperate unofficially. The I revile and mistrust them, I for the years 2006 and 2007. CU are funded entirely by will not see them persecuted It would be grossly unfair of donations which they spend on financial grounds. QA research is an equal opportunities employer and welcomes me to appropriate the figures at their discretion. Liberty, as always, is the last people of all ages for the money spent on Furthermore, they word on the subject. NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Wednesday January 23 2008 Letters 13

Nouse welcomes your letters. Please indicate if they are not intended for publication. Matthew Jeynes Email [email protected] or write to: Goes way back Letters Nouse, Grimston House, Vanbrugh College In this age of political compromise, when both left and right-wing parties slide towards the centre, and University students are strug- Not a very bright FTR gling to maintain their liberal reputation Star Letter under the crushing weight of private school- ing, it is refreshing sometimes to look back at Dear Nouse, a simpler time - when the establishment con- sisted of crusty old conservatives, and the When I was asked for £1.80 on one of my fre- youth saw themselves as revolutionaries. quent bus journeys into town I thought I was The February 19 1970 edition of Nouse No Nouse will be bad news for York students hearing things. £1.80, you have to be joking! provides just such a moment. We are greeted But to my dismay the small bus conductor by an all-new Nouse logo, with the name of Dear Nouse, itself restricted by financial threats and I’m man still insisted on this absurd price for a the paper bracketed by two very Communist- sure the whole student body stands behind single ticket. A thirty pence rise, for what looking stars. Unfortunately, the socialist I was shocked to hear of the funding crisis you. exactly? message that this conveys lasts about as far as facing your paper. I wait with baited breath People seem to be harking on about It’s not like my bus experience has taken the double-page spread on pages five and six, for each issue and would be dismayed if you the FTR raise, but this is obviously the more a turn for the better, infact, all I feel now is which is entirely dedicated to advertising were only able to publish twice a year. pressing issue; think about the conse- the burning hole in my pocket. FTR know careers. The paper turns from a rebellious Nouse as a student-run newspaper has quences. For one, who’ll make YUSU that students are dependent on the buses to socialist organisation into a shrine for the become an institution; it’s the reason some accountable when they run amock? Oh and get into town, they’re just exploiting the fact intimate workings of capitalism, in about the students apply to the University of York, and has anyone thought of the thespians; think that we’ll have no other option than to cough time it would take to say, ‘I love Adam Smith’. it would be a great shame if all your hard of their disappointed faces when, alas, their up the change. Occupying pride of place in this printed work and dedication to giving students the Drama Barn productions are not reviewed. I But guess what, I am one lady who’s not capitalist utopia is a fantastic advert, encap- news were to be taken in one fell swoop. don’t think I could face it. for turning. Yes I’ve joined the facebook sulating all that is wrong with advertising in As the only serious newspaper on cam- All I know is this: I’ll be doing whatever group, and yes I’ve moaned enough to make one massive lie. The advert contains a picture pus, I rely on Nouse for a reliable source of it takes to ensure Nouse gets published on my friends walk with me into town. Students of someone wearing a badge on their arm campus news in addition to interesting fea- time, I’ll even create a facebook group! can make a difference, and if we all boycott saying ‘I believe in Freedom’, with the caption tures on a range of topics. Without it, I feel I FTR they’ll have no other option but to lis- underneath reading ‘…then become a would be a less well-informed and rounded Heather Males ten. Lets face it, apart from the odd pension- Chartered Accountant’. Brilliant. Suck in the student. A paper such as this should not find Third year English Literature student er and actual York resident, we fill those liberals by appealing to their buses, and we can empty them. ideals, then condemn them to a life of mind- Iris Tumblebridge numbing pointless- First year Management student ness. Best of the web: your comments on Porno V Elsewhere in the edition, there is a report I really don’t think that the Academic and Isn’t it enough that, with minimal effort and Dear Nouse, on an event that all of us Welfare offier of a Student Union can be forward-planning, we can pick up FREE have at some point con- expected to support an event with the tag condoms at a number of places on campus I am writing to say how much I enjoyed sidered, briefly, then line “dressed to get screwed”. If it isn’t sexist, (YUSU building, health centre) - you’re your coverage of the NUS referendum on rejected on the grounds then it’s encouraging promiscuity and ran- probably never more than 100 yards from a campus. I found your reporting balanced that we would rather not dom drunken sex. It would be completely condom. and your analysis insightful. However, I die. I am, of course, refer- wrong for YUSU to effectively say that all must ask whether it was really necessary to ring to swimming in the students want random sex with strangers. It’s typical of students to demand as an include quite so many photos of NUS lake. The two inalienable right something that would, in President Gemma Tumelty. She may be an brave/idiotic/drunk/now impotent (delete as any normal set of circumstances, be consid- inspiration to us all as a dedicated cam- applicable) students were doing it to raise This event wasn’t banned, but YUSU still ered a remarkable freebie. Not satisfied? paigner for students’ rights but you can have money for charity. Although I much prefer stayed away from supporting it. I think that too much of a good thing. Could you please the explanation from first-year Christopher is the best decision. No point in banning Buy your own damn condoms! Clarke, quoted in the article; “I did it because this sort of thing, but someone in a welfare include more photos of Rich Croker next it was there”. How very profound. If I could position encouraging it would be crazy. James MacDougald time? He’s dreamy. track him down to wherever he has ended up, likely to be a facility somewhere, I would Michael Rutherford All articles can be commented on at Julian Bassey shake his hand – wearing gloves of course. www.nouse.co.uk Second year Agriculture student

Little campus: Are facility’s on campus up to scratch? From bridges, or lack of, to bars, we ask you whether the University of York is giving Big Mouth... us value for money or leaving students high and dry.

Name: Amelia Hogg Name: Claire Webster Name: Tom Parry Name: Harriet College: Vanbrugh College: James College: Alcuin O’Brien Year: Second Year: First Year: First College: James Subject: Psychology Subject: Social Subject: History and Year: First Science and Crime Politics Subject: Chemistry

I play quite a lot of sport so I’m often in I think the section in the library for my They’re not bad, but not great either. My department generally has better and out of the sports centre. The tent is the degree is pretty amazing, they have any book I’ve heard that’s the case with most unis. The facilities than the other universities I visited, “bane of my existence; freezing during winter, “that you need and there is enough space to sit abundance of computer rooms is helpful especially in terms of the lecture halls which boiling in summer! For a student, I think the in a quiet environment to work, which is very when“ finishing essays and the noise of halls is “have comfortable seats! But to get from my gym is too expensive, although I’m not really important for me. For a small campus uni- proving too much to overcome. There seem college to a lecture I’ve had to take five differ- a gym person and don’t know anyone who is! versity I think the facilities are generally to be plenty of sports equipment and a decent ent routes because the bridges keep on clos- The recently built stuff is great, but it’s taken good; it has the basics such as Costcutter and gym as well. Having said that, I’ve made very ing and that’s a real nuisance. I do ballroom so long to build. I was supposed to live in Blackwells, and it isn’t that far to get into little effort to actually venture round and dancing and there’s always a space to dance Bleachfields last year but ended up in Alcuin. town if you need something. I’m keen on inspect them. I like the bars, I’m more famil- but it would be nice to have a more developed As for lecture halls, they’re all the same aren’t sports and York has a lot of field space, which iar with them than most areas of campus! sports centre with a swimming pool. they? They’re just a bunch of chairs and is great, but we definitely need to sort out Vanbrugh’s bar lacks atmosphere, but the It’s a shame that James doesn’t have a bar, tables! ” those bridges! ” others are all good to go for a drink. ” but I’d rather go to town anyway! ” NOUSE: THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 14 Politics Wednesday January 23 2008 York’s American expats split evenly between Obama and Huckabee

Allison Kjergaald takes a look at York’s expatriate US com- munity and asks for their opinion on the American Primaries

he US student community in porting Barack Obama highlight issue of climate change.” York is a small but lively one, his heavily advertised “ability to The issue of Iraq does play a Twith new members arriving bring about real change in huge role in the campaigns of can- every ‘semester’ on study abroad Washington.” didates and subsequently has an programs, both at the University of Like many other candidates, impact on voters. For those who York and the Calvary Chapel Bible Obama’s ‘blueprint for change’ disagree with the ‘War on Terror’, College York, located just outside includes a comprehensive environ- Obama seems to be a safe bet. One the city walls. mental policy supporting “clean student said Obama “has a compre- With the US primaries in full energy and plans to increase fund- hensive plan for getting American force, Nouse carried out an opinion ing for the usage of wind power, troops out of Iraq, and beginning to poll, interviewing a number of the bio-fuels, and low-carbon fuels.” help rebuild the country rather American students studying in However, more broadly, as than continuing to destroy it.” York to see how the expatriate US Britain Brady, a PhD student from Although the American stu- community here will vote. Results California advocates, Obama’s dent population at this university is of the poll show Republican Mike nomination would be “the first step not large enough to provide a fair Huckabee and Democrat Barack in the right direction for the rebirth assessment of US voting trends, Obama to be the frontrunners. of American greatness.” Obama these individual opinions to some Huckabee’s supporters defend “seems to be the only person who extent reflect how and why his socially conservative stance and understands the seriousness of the Americans support certain candi- evangelical Christian values and plight of America.” dates. stand by the three main points of The key to Obama’s ‘Change Plans regarding the environ- his campaign; faith, family, free- We Can Believe In’ campaign is to ment, health care, and the war in dom. separate himself from what a stu- Iraq vary slightly across candidates Josh Arnold from California dent dubs, “the game of politics.” of the same party; in effect, person- said that Huckabee “seems the For Democrat-inclined students, ality and personal values of the can- most respectable and godly man Obama does not “play the game of didates seem to weigh heavily on there is running at the moment. I politics in an effort to try and ‘win’ voters’ minds. like his views on Israel, homosexu- an election. Obama tries to change Obama as the energetic fighter ality and abortion. He is against the the game of politics entirely, in the for political change, Huckabee - in last two for biblical reasons and effort to ‘win’ a new America.” the words of one student - as a believes in bringing families back John Edwards similarly plays “bold, upstanding, godly kind of together.” into liberal America’s push to see guy,” and Edwards as the experi- Casey O’Keefe from Virginia dramatic changes in government, enced senator endorsing equal was in agreement, rating Huckabee presenting himself as a champion opportunity are only a few of the as the best candidate because he is of social change. One student from contending character portrayals “pro-life, conservative, and a strong New York, when asked who they that Americans have taken hold of. Christian.” However, while supported, said “John Edwards. All As the 2008 presidential elec- Huckabee tries to emphasize his of the Democrats prioritize the war tion draws nearer, polarized Christian ideals, he strives to make in Iraq and Healthcare. However I American voters will fall in step sure his vision of ‘faith’ goes along agree with many of Edwards’ views with their party of choice. In the with the notion of ‘freedom.’ and more so than the other candi- meantime, however, those parties On the opposite end of the dates, he emphasizes the impor- must decide who can best succeed Above: Charm and rhetoric are key to Obama’s success among students political spectrum, students sup- tance of rapidly addressing the in the race to the Whitehouse. Below: Huckabee builds up supporters with his strong religious beliefs Primary candidates make bid for youth vote

Anjli Raval these organisations, they- of former Senator John of this category of vote. Both have taken to using new Edwards and Senator candidates are known for media technology. Hillary Clinton. appealing to young voters, ALL CANDIDATES taking Candidates have cam- According to Time having succeeded with part in the US Primaries are paigned heavily through magazine the turnout at promises of new beginnings. relying on the youth wings of their own websites as well as these caususes among the Even Hillary Clinton has their parties to entice young through blogs, videos and youngest tier of the elec- taken a page out of Obama’s people aged 18-29 to vote. podcasts on websites such as torate had more than dou- policy book, continuing a The age bracket will make Facebook, MySpace and bled from 2004, when belated chase after the youth up 25% of the US electorate YouTube. Democrat Howard Dean's vote, by embracing the inter- in 2008. No contender seems to intense campaign on college net and by promising more In the past the College have the same appeal to campuses produced far more government transparency. Democrats of America young activists as Barrack modest results. Whilst the More young Americans (CDA), the official student Obama. His charm and rhet- overall turnout for the are doing their part by regis- outreach arm of the oric, combined with his Democratic Party jumped tering to vote, paying more Democratic Party has had youth-orientated campaign, 90%, the number of young attention to issues and party great success. It was due Hillary Clinton addresses the College Democrats of America drew a record number of Democrats participating also politics. Candidates have partly to the hard work of voters under the age of 25 to soared by 135%. realised that in order to suc- College Democrat’s activists Democrats there are cur- and are the grassroots the Iowa caucuses on According to the CNN ceed it is most definitely a based on campuses all over rently over 250,000 College branch of the Republican Monday January 14; it was entrance poll it was the time for political leaders to America that John Kerry Republicans around the Party. these supporters that gave youth vote that pushed not reach out to younger won a landmark 54% of the country who come together Campaigns in this nom- him most of his margin of only Obama but Mike Americans and run cam- youth vote in 2004. to help elect candidates, sup- ination race have not only victory. Obama finished Huckabee to the top in Iowa, paigns that address their Like the College port the Republican agenda tried to make the most of roughly 20,000 votes ahead with the latter securing 40% concerns.

NOUSE: THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 16 Politics Wednesday January 23 2008 Kenya’s riots run deeper than politics Normally a stable and a peaceful country, the recent elections have ripped open Kenya’s society along tribal lines. Peter Campbell and Christiana Hambro speak to locals caught in the sweeping violence

ouths plan arson and Kisumu, who was housing 28 loot, houses were people for safety, said it was “Ytorched last night, and “difficult to keep everyone fed. there are sounds of gunshots Prices are trebled, but we don’t nearby,” Elijah Masira, a 24- have a choice: We have to eat. year-old Kenyan living in the We have cut down to one meal a slums of Nairobi, told Nouse via day. One boy went out alone to email last week. get food, and suffered a severe Elijah, who was in the city beating and a deep cut that had of Kisumu, the epicentre of the to be stitched up at home.” She rioting, when the violence blamed one of the main tribes began, was notably shaken. “I that supports Odinga for why am so distressed by this, I can’t Kisumu was badly hit, as it is stand to see Kenya turn into heavily mixed in with the hell on earth because of individ- Kikuyus, uals who are so heartless to In Kisumu, the police have understand that defeat is part been given orders of shoot-to- of life.” kill. A woman in Kisumu said: Kenya had always been a “after five years of stability, free stable country when compared primary education and eco- to its neighbours Sudan and nomic growth, it is a shock and Somalia. However, since the deeply distressing to see the Boxing Day elections it has current turmoil.” been engulfed by conflict, with On visiting a refugee camp, the failure of transparent elec- Elijah commented: “I saw thou- tions splitting the country over sands of displaced people, most Mwai Kibaki’s rule. of whom were women and chil- The delayed election dren. Police vehicles were still results gave Kibaki, the incum- bringing more people. I was bent President, just over 4.5 very concerned about the sani- million votes, a mere 200,000 tation.” votes more than the main oppo- People are too frightened sition leader, Raili Odinga. to sleep, and herd together for Odinga, who secured the poor protection. The tea estate out- vote by promising wealth redis- side Kericho has been razed, tribution, immediately called Kisumu, Odinga’s birthplace, upheaval has caused divisions been closed indefinitely with Violence is the villages destroyed, and for a re-run. and its neighbouring town of within the multi-ethnic group, desolate villages replacing the spreading workers accused of supporting Kenyans are divided into Kericho, the centre of Kenya’s sending certain tribes back into vibrant communities which Kibaki have been machetteed to 42 tribes, and strong ties to thriving tea industry. isolation amidst prejudice and once flourished”. She contin- through death. The employees have them are one of the major con- Following Kibaki’s refusal superstition. ued: “I am no longer able to Kenya been urged to return to their tributors to the spiralling vio- to step down, Odinga’s Luo 23-year-old Venessa speak with lifelong friends due tribes in a desperate attempt to lence. Both Kibaki and Odinga tribe have formed violent gangs Monyangi, who lives in Kericho, to differences in our cultural stem the flow of violence. are from two of the largest which have “sworn that there is talks about a lack of freedom of heritage. There is no peace at “The killings will not stop tribes, Kikuyu and Luo respec- not one Kikuyu that will live in speech, to the extent that she all; Kenya is no longer what it until Odinga is president,” is a tively, and the problem has Kericho.” will not discuss the current once was.” commonly heard cry, but since descended into tribal violence Local communities are political situation in public for In Kisumu, after the elec- tribal warfare has become an rather than party politics. normally widely diverse and fear of being beaten or shot. She tions, people did not dare ven- intrinsic part of the battle, the The two worst affected tolerant of multiculturalism, explained how “the schools ture out of their houses for scars may run deeper than we areas have been the city of but the recent political within the main tea estate have three days. One woman in think. Debate over value of drama as Arts Council funding is slashed and A-level is denigrated

Polly Ingham money, with 194 seeing disregard for grassroots cre- Group is one of the excep- DEPUTY POLITICS EDITOR funding cuts. However, 80 ative projects. A University tions. John Cooper, the more are being added to its of Cambridge spokesman Admissions Tutor for portfolio. even described the subjects History in 2007, said: “I was AS THE NEW Year dawned, Nonetheless, events as “unacceptable”. struck by the commitment Liverpool was crowned this such as the National Student One suggested reason of York’s admissions and year’s European Capital of Drama Festival (NSDF) and for the move made by the School’s Liaison Culture. The award is more obscure arts profes- Russell Group was to make Department to retaining an intended to celebrate cultur- sions such as literature the application process open mind about the rela- al diversity and develop- translators will be deeply “transparent” and makes it tive merits of different A- ment in the chosen city, affected. easier to differentiate levels.” whilst promoting future The cut will most between candidates. But for If the country contin- projects. directly affect grassroots some universities, creativity ues to neglect the arts and However, late last year projects entering the British is superseded by a ‘safe bet’, those with a passion for cul- it was announced that the mainstream being sub- ensuring their reputation is ture , then there will be five Arts Council England, who merged beneath their finan- maintained, even though, as words for Gordon Brown to are responsible for funding cial burden. Cambridge considers drama a ‘less ideal’ A-level School’s Minister Jim describe Britain by: thousands of arts groups, Simultaneously, the versities announced a series Drama and Theatre Studies Knight asserts, “all subjects “Desperately Needing a was to have a £112.5m most respected universities of ‘less ideal’ A-level subjects and Art, as well as newer are rigorously measured Cultural Renaissance”. budget relocation. in this country are frater- for their candidates. subjects, like IT. This disre- against each other to main- The Arts Council has nising with the anti-culture These spurned subjects gard for formal, creative tain standards”. For extra content, visit our said that there will be fewer bandwagon. Earlier this include many culturally endeavours seems to echo The University of York, website: organisations getting month Russell Group of uni- enriching ones, such as the government’s apparent as a member of the 1994 nouse.co.uk/Politics NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Wednesday January 23 2008 Sports 17 MatthewJeynes The sporting calendar is made up of a series of rivalries, but what is the point?

ith the Varsity clash loom- don’t even battle it out in all the ing ahead, and the debate BUSA leagues. It is simply that we Wover the relative merits of play them every year. It is the histo- York’s two rivalries in last week’s ry of the Roses fixture itself that York Vision, I thought it best to makes it a rivalry. No one is exactly examine why sporting rivalries sure why supporters should hate occur, how people react to them, Lancaster, pour out in droves and and whether they are in fact a good cheer for York until their throats thing. feel hoarse – but they do. It is just In most people’s eyes, the the feeling that this is something debate of Varsity over Roses is a we have to win. That is a true sport- fairly pointless one. Roses dates ing rivalry – where no one is exact- back to 1965, barely two years after ly sure why they want to win so the University was founded, has an badly, but still give everything they tenuous historical link to the 15th have to try to do so. century Wars of the Roses, and fea- That still leaves the question of tures three days of competition whether such rivalries are benefi- over 37 different sports. In con- cial. Every year there are a few trast, Varsity is entering its fourth unsavoury incidents that leave peo- year and, in all fairness to York St. ple questioning the wisdom of hav- John, is far less of a contest than ing the event. Fortunately, the Roses, over far fewer sports. CARMICHAEL ALLY answer is simple – of course such The winner is therefore clear. rivalries aren’t wise, but no-one is What isn’t immediately clear is why going to pretend that they are. these rivalries come about in the What they are is a chance for the first place. The Varsity rivalry is whole university to unite together, obvious, with St John sharing to be part of a unique atmosphere, (some would say sullying) the same York is notorious for annual rivalries with Varsity and Roses nemeses York St John and Lancaster probably in the entirety of British city as us, but is it really worth a university sport. It is true that peo- sporting rivalry? When Varsity Still, it’s always fun to rub St the same city are derbies, not nec- clash. ple are occasionally hurt, and there Wednesday comes around, St John John’s face into the mud (and after essarily rivalries. I’m sure But why are York and do need to be safety measures, but will only participate in the small all this rain, the presence of mud is Sunderland fans would disagree Lancaster such rivals? Apart from that should not detract from the number of sports in which they about as inevitable as a York win), with me, but they can hardly be Roses, York students barely have experience. Varsity will need to have a chance of competing, and and who can resist a whole day of said to have a rivalry with any contact with their Lancastrian keep going for another 30 years, will still get heavily beaten. A sport- sport. This cannot however be the Newcastle because they are a far counterparts. There is also no rea- and will need St John to improve ing contest in which the victor wins only appeal of sporting rivalries poorer team. The same can be said son for us to be rivals. The Wars of massively, to generate the same by such a score as the 56-17 rugby and it is also unnecessary for the about Varsity. Yes, it is a derby, but the Roses link is completely ridicu- experience. It’s still a good warm- demolition of St John last year is rivals to inhabit the same city or it’s not really a rivalry. That honour lous; the war wasn’t fought up, and who would pass up the pos- hardly worth the tag of ‘contest’. area. Games between teams from surely belongs only to the Roses between York and Lancaster. We sibility of a whole day of sport? No gear, all the ideas - the state of sport in York

Criss Noice When prospective students Centre with disparaging remarks versions of the college rankings improve, leaving the rest of the are shown around Universities like: “It’s ok, just not great. You table last term. team to suffer. The University of SPORTS EDITOR like Loughborough or Brighton, learn to deal with it”. In other words, if the powers York Boat Club is one of the biggest the sports facilities are general- Sport in York should that be can’t get the basics right, casualties of this, having a number WHEN APPROACHING the topic ly the first stop on the tour. be something to shout we’ll never be in a position to move of their top rowers leave to train in of the state of sport at this universi- They are proud of their about. We should have a forward as a sporting university. better surroundings in hopes of a ty, it’s important to tread carefully. sport and have the accolades to strong national standing. What’s disappointing about the sit- place in the national squad. The Although the sporting teams at show that the money being We have one of the biggest uation is that the talent is here. It’s society itself is largely kept afloat York are admittedly not in the top poured into sport in these inter-university competi- just the facilities that hold back by handouts from neighbouring flight when it comes to national places isn’t going to tions in the country in the this talent, even drawing it else- York City and St Peter’s. rankings, there is a great deal of waste. There is no annual Roses event and where in some cases. I am by no means saying that pride within the teams themselves reason why York yet we still lack compe- When speaking to several the University teams are in a state – and so there should be. The basis can’t be one of the tence and consistency people at the University who are at of disrepair, but there is definite of a successul team, evidently, is universities with a in the most basic of the very top level in their sport room for improvement. The level of teamwork. strong national rep- organisational skills, before coming here, it became clear competitive sport here at the uni- However, one of the most sig- utation. like finding referees that many of them don’t play for versity is impressive considering nificant factors influencing the long When you first for college matches. the university teams. They may the circumstances, but it should be term performance of our sports come to York as a This inadequa- play a little college every now and on a higher plane. We have the teams at York is the lack of modern potential future stu- cy spreads right again to keep themselves fresh, but potential, but we need to embrace facilities on campus which could be dent, the sporting through to the cam- they are put off by the lack of qual- our teams and promote them to used to improve a team’s condition- facilities hardly pus sport coverage, ity coaching and see participating prospective students. Only then ing and skill. It’s almost the stand out in your with York Vision - at a university level here as more of will the situation improve, and only antithesis of the age old sporting mind. Those of us the “number one a hinderance to their degree, then will funding come. Until that collocation: “all the gear, no idea”. who show new stu- source for college instead of a source of extra curricu- time, we will be stuck in the vicious Teams at York know what they’re dents around cam- sport” recent- lar pride. Even those who excel circle of talent and top quality doing, they just lack the support pus will generally ly reporting within the university teams are coaching being put off by the repu- and funding of the university. gloss over the Sports wildly inaccurate forced to train elsewhere to tation of our sports facilities. NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 18 Sports Wednesday January 23 2008

York defeat Varsity rivals in netball victory Tandem jumps and front flips >> Continued from Page 20 Nouse York asserted themselves in the crucial Try something different this term with the guide to the second quarter, turning a single-point advantage into a game-winning mar- most original societies offering membership to students at York gin by half-time. York’s domination continued into the third quarter with two quick-fire triples from Sahin and three more from Ireland, opening up a CAPOEIRA OCTOPUSH 24-10 lead. By the end of the game, Mixed: Yes Mixed: Yes York had added another eight points Cost: £5 per term Cost: £5 per term + £3-50 per session to the tally and finished the match 32- Email: [email protected] / www.capoeirayork.com Email: [email protected] / www.yusu.org/octopush 12 ahead. In the third team confrontation, Capoeira is a unique and colourful fusion of Brazilian dance Imagine the hustle and bustle of hockey, and then imagine it played York continued their impressive sea- rhythms and acrobatic martial arts, which develops agility, flexibility, underwater. That’s octopush - a vibrant and quirky game where the son with a comprehensive 41-21 victo- strength, speed and co-ordination. York’s Capoeira club, which has emphasis is on having fun - as mixed teams of six, sporting snorkels and ry over St John. Imaginative move- links with the local community, welcomes everyone to improve their flippers, attempt to score with a weighted puck (or squid). Octopush cer- ment gave the team a convincing win fitness and self-confidence to the accompaniment of traditional and tainly rates as a unique experience; a must for all adrenaline-junkies. despite being forced into unforeseen uplifting South American music and song. With so many benefits, York offers a flourishing and welcoming club, where no previous experi- team alterations before the start. what better way to fulfil those New Year’s resolutions, while having a ence or equipment is required. Participation in octopush also allows the Attacker Livi Coward was given tremendous amount of fun. As well as Wednesday classes at the chance to compete for the University in regional and national competi- goalkeeping duties prior to the match University, instructors Edy Alves and and Cris Gonsalves run classes tions at the forefront of the sport. The club is staging a ‘Bring a friend’ and showed her versatility by stifling social on Thursday of this week (January 24th - meet 7.30pm Vanbrugh St John’s efforts on the net. The home on Tuesday and Thursday evenings on Priory Street and on Friday side remained compact in defence evening at Next Generation Gym. bar) to encourage new members, featuring curry and copious alcohol. whilst making the most of scoring opportunities. Training: Wednesdays, 5.00-7.00pm, Langwith or Goodricke Training: Bootham School Pool, Sundays, 7.00-9.00pm – meet York 1st captain Amy Smith Dining Room Information Centre 6.15pm praised the teams, saying: “Our fitness made a difference today. It’s a credit to the girls that we outlasted them.”

Club records broken at BUSA championships

NOVEMBER SAW the BUSA short course swimming championships and resulted in a strong performance in the pool from York’s swim team at Pond’s Forge, Sheffield. The event proved successful for the club, with several club records broken. Club cap- tain Steven Knight led by example, breaking both the 50m and 100m but- terfly records. He also swam in both the 4x50 freestyle and medley relays, along with Mark Pietkiewitz, Paul Cox, Ian Smithson and Tom Mcglashan, while Pietkiewitz broke the 100m freestyle club record. In the women’s team, Katie Paxton set a per- sonal best in the 100m butterfly.

Derwent begin college hockey term with win

DERWENT PRODUCED a dominant performance in their opening game of the Spring hockey season to beat Skydiving is for the adventurous thrill seekers among us The Octopush club offers fast and furious underwater action James 2-0. The early stages saw the ball constantly in the James half, but with the Derwent attackers unable to find the net. At the other end, the SKYDIVING ULTIMATE FRISBEE solid defence of captain Luke Mixed: Yes Mixed: Yes Featherstone restricted the James Cost: £175 for training, including three jumps Cost: £5 per year attackers to scarce opportunities. [email protected] [email protected] / www.yusu.org/ultimatefrisbee In the same fixture last term, Email: Email: James romped to a 3-1 win, but a For the more adventurous, Skydiving is the sport of choice. It is an Requiring lightning speed of thought and sleight of hand, Ultimate repeat looked unlikely when striker Nick Harris fired the ball home from incredible experience, leaving the everyday world behind and enter- Frisbee is an exhilarating and hugely enjoyable team sport. Teams of five 10 yards with five minutes of the first ing a completely different environment. The sport which people compete in intense match-ups, played at high tempo, where movement half to play. The second half saw no probably have the most misconceptions about, it is much safer than and vision are all-important. York boasts one of the longest-established respite for the flagging James defence you’d think and anyone can have a go. The University club and team Ultimate Frisbee clubs in the country, welcoming all newcomers to com- as Derwent looked for a second time- have been making a mark recently with some incredible achieve- pete in its indoor and outdoor training at any level. The club’s range of ly goal to seal the game. This came ments: Student Skydiver of the Year; Winning the UK National teams also allows the possibility to compete in regional and national from the talented Ian Sheridan after League (Rookie Class); Winning the European Championships tournaments, including the annual Roses contest and bi-annual BUSA some excellent build-up play. Despite (Rookie Class); and Team of the Year. The club will also be running competitions. The club will host the prestigious National Ultimate Derwent attackers shooting at will for a charity tandem skydiving campaign for RAG, with jumps taking Frisbee tournament on the first weekend of May this year, so there’s the remainder of the match, the score place on weekend of RAG week (23/24th Feb). never been a better time to check the sport out. remained unaltered from then on, and the whistle seemed to come as a great relief to the beleagured James Training: Introductory course taking place on the weekend of Training: Indoors – Fridays 6.30-9.30pm / Sunday 7.30-9.30pm and goalkeeper. February 2/3. Outdoors – Wednesday 1.30-3.30pm / Sunday 1.30-3.30pm. NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Wednesday January 23 2008 Sports 19 Promotion hopes for York clubs Jo as BUSA form begins to improve Carter AU President

Matthew Jeynes AS SOMEONE WHOSE entire year ultimately hangs on the result SPORTS EDITOR of Roses, I may seem a little hypo- critical here. Trust me, I would sac- AFTER A FAIRLY successful term rifice a lot to win Roses, but some- of BUSA action, several of York’s times winning isn’t the most clubs are handily placed to take a important thing. At the risk of shot at promotion, or even tro- sounding like one of those annoy- phies. The only two current cer- ing motivational psychologists, tainties for promotion are the sport is as much about challenging Women’s Hockey 1sts and the yourself as beating the opposition. Men’s Badminton 2nds. The Ultimately, the greatest sportsmen Women’s Hockey have recovered and women, such as Billie-Jean from an early slip-up against Hull King, Lance Armstrong, Tiger to take their league by storm, and Woods and Ellen MacArthur, who have already won the league with will be remembered as much for two games to play. what they achieved away from the The Men’s Badminton have sporting arena as in it. been even more dominant, record- In June last year I cycled from ing eight wins out of eight, includ- York to Amsterdam and back, rais- ing a remarkable five 8-0 white- ing over £500 for Marie Curie washes, to win their league as well Cancer Care. For me, it wasn’t with two matches to play. In fact, about seeing how quickly I could the Badminton Club enjoyed a fan- do it; it was about giving it a go to tastic term, with the women likely see if I could cycle for 250 miles. only just to miss out on promotion And that’s why I’m running the while the men will be praying for London Marathon. Yes, I want to the currently dominant Leeds Met finish in under four and a half to falter and give them a chance for hours, but the real reason is to push promotion. myself and see if I can find the Elsewhere, the Men’s Football motivation to train and, come 1sts are sitting proud at the top of April, be able to say that I’ve run a league 3B with four matches still to marathon. Perhaps the next chal- play this term, and will be looking Both Men’s Badminton 1sts and 2nds in action - the club was one of York’s most successful in BUSA last term lenge is to swim the channel, to continue their six match unbeat- although I think I would call the en run today in a pivotal game that the latter team gets soundly repeat of the 36-0 thrashing of last pete for the Championship. line at rowing the Atlantic. against their nearest rivals, Leeds beaten by Leeds’ 2nds to avoid rel- term. The Men’s 2nds occupy the It was, however, a frustrating Sport is an amazingly power- 2nds. With the other male football egation, whilst the Women’s 1sts top spot in their league after two term for the Netball Club, with ful thing: it is universal; it tran- teams languishing in mid-table are facing the daunting task of scores of over 100 points, and must both the 1sts and the 3rds left scends boundaries; speaks many obscurity and the Women’s 1sts beating league leaders Leeds Met be favourites for promotion, while regretting devastatingly close languages, and has exceptional rec- almost certain to be relegated, the 1sts and hoping other results go it is still early days in the Women’s defeats, 34-36 to Newcastle 2nds onciliatory qualities. Sport has hopes of the club rest on the Men’s their way to avoid a similar fate. season. and 28-29 to Leeds Trinity 1sts helped ease conflicts in countries 1sts continued form. There is better news for the It was another good term for respectively, that have ended their divided by faction and strife. I The Squash club will be look- Rugby club, whose Men’s 1sts occu- the Fencing club. Both clubs were chances of promotion. And in an think MP Tessa Jowell summed it ing to rebuild for next year follow- py a good position in their league, in with a chance of going through interesting twist, the 2nds team up quite nicely when she said, ing a disappointing showing last within striking distance of promo- to their respective trophy competi- will remain in the same league as "Sport has the ability to motivate, term from all three teams. The tion. They also face a crunch game tions with only a single round of the 1sts if the latter team defeat inspire and empower people”. Men’s 1sts need to beat Durham today, as they play league-leaders fixtures still to play, although both Teeside 2nds in their final fixture I have finally come to terms 2nds convincingly away and hope Durham 3rds, hoping to avoid a will miss out on the chance to com- next Wednesday. with the fact that I am not going to make it as a professional athlete and the only involvement I am like- ly to have in the London 2012 Olympics is as a volunteer, but just because we’re not elite, doesn’t Vanbrugh dominate in basketball clinic mean we can’t make a difference. I’m organising the Ride of the Dan Hyde growing reputation of basketball Roses, a sponsored bike ride from SPORTS CORRESPONDENT within the university. York to Lancaster to raise money The match itself was con- for the Yorkshire Air Ambulance. Vanbrugh 26 trolled by Vanbrugh point guard There are places still available, so if Derwent 12 Richard Williams whose speed and you fancy a challenge, email dribbling skills were too much for a [email protected] for more details. shaky Derwent defence, causing On Sunday March 16, the VANBRUGH STORMED to a con- them numerous problems in the University of York will be hosting a vincing win over struggling first half. Williams’s fluent combi- Sport Relief Mile. The event is Derwent to set the early pace in nation play with David Merifield open to everyone and will be hap- college basketball this weekend. and Tuck had built Vanbrugh a pening as one of over 250 events Fielding an experienced team, they convincing lead by the halfway nationwide. If you fancy challeng- dominated every facet of the game stage and it appeared that there ing yourself, sign up now on and looked deserving of the victory, was no way back for Derwent. www.sportrelief.com/themile. And even able to substitute star player The efforts of guards Kevin if you want a test, why not do it Sam Tuck mid-way through the Bates and Luke Steers in the sec- three-legged with a mate? It’s a second half. ond half were all too late for chance to make a difference. And if The college will be keen to Derwent and Tuck’s dominance in running a mile is the last thing you build on this victory and make a and around the key limited want to do, we’re looking for volun- serious challenge for the basketball Derwent’s big men, Paul Vanbrugh had most of the possession and looked stronger throughout teers to help out on the day too. title this term in what has become a Mertenskoetter and Andrew Whether you choose to run a hotly competitive area of college Marriott, to very few chances at the competition during the term from with Vanbrugh joining Alcuin, marathon, jog a mile or cycle to sport. 2008 has seen the introduc- basket. other, more organised college Goodricke, Halifax and even Lancaster, make sure at some point tion of set benches and an electron- Vanbrugh will take a good deal teams. After the first round of fix- Wentworth in vying for the title of this term you drag yourself off the ic scoreboard for the first time at of confidence from this perform- tures, college basketball appears to college basketball champion this sofa and go out and do something college level, emphasising the ance, but will face much tougher be headed for an exciting term, year. different. 20

Women’s Hockey 1sts promoted in their league with games to spare in a successful term all round for SPORT York’s clubs in BUSA >> P19 York’s netballers defeat York St John in three pre-Varsity friendly matches O HOLE TOM

All three of York’s netball teams claimed victory on Wednesday, beating York St John and boosting confidence ahead of the upcoming Varsity competition in February

NETBALL advantage. points going into half time. rapid succession to bring the halfway line found its way to was far more one-sided, with York started the game York’s defence was score to 25-24 going into the Fisher in the goal circle. The confident performances York 1sts 32 the more confident of the boosted by the success of final quarter. in-form shooter scored, put- from the defensive line, flu- York St John 1sts 30 two sides, with captain Amy their attackers and the con- The tension was tangi- ting the home team into the idity and imagination in the Smith dictating the pace of test began to flow with the ble after the break and the lead as the University of York centre and a near faultless Adam Shergold play. However, the home teams trading points for the pressure told as St John’s hung on in a tense finale to showing from the attackers. Dan Hyde team struggled at the defen- majority of the third quarter. instrumental GA and GS finish the match two points Goal shooter Fran sive end of the court and St Pycroft’s eye for goal influ- struggled to hit the target clear at 32-30. Ireland and goal attack A HARD-FOUGHT win for John took an early lead. enced attacking partner against some excellent York York’s second team sent Sophia Sahin were on out- York Netball 1sts rounded off It took some steady Sarah Fisher who looked defensive work. out a resounding message standing form, showing a day of triple victory against shooting from goal attacker unstoppable in a stunning The scores were tied late ahead of the forthcoming alertness to create scoring rivals York St John. With the Sarah Pycroft to inject some four-minute spell that took in the quarter at 29-29, and Varsity competition with a opportunities, ensuring York matches being a precursor to much-needed momentum the home team three points the match hung in the bal- clinical 32-12 victory over St. a narrow ascendancy after the upcoming Varsity com- into York’s attack. The GA clear of their rivals. However, ance when a decisive inter- John. The teams had fought the first quarter. petition, both sides were made several testing shots to the spell did not last as St ception from wing defender out a close contest in eager to gain a psychological bring her team within two John scored several times in Katie Brunskill on the December, but this meeting >> Continued on Page 18 Vanbrugh strong The reasons behind Alternative AU Facilities hinder against Derwent campus rivalries sports clubs top flight sports

In a convincing performance, Matthew Jeynes examines the For anyone who wants to take Criss Noice looks at the University Vanbrugh dominated Derwent on debate on Varsity or Roses, looking up a sport that strays further facility issues that limit the level of Sunday in college basketball to at why these rivalries come about, from the norm than running coaching and talent available to continue their impressive recent why they mean so much to the around a field, Nouse has com- our sports teams, as well as exam- form and boost Vanbrugh’s stand- participants and supporters, and piled a guide to some sports ining the stereotypes associated ing in the overall inter-college whether the rivalries are actually that may have been overlooked with sport in York for prospective league table. good for the University. in Fresher’s Week. students. COLLEGE BASKETBALL >> P19 MATTHEW JEYNES >> P17 TRY SOMETHING NEW >> P18 CRISS NOICE >> P17

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