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Cambridge, Massachusetts 02139 Sunday, August 24,2003 Exploring 'Secret Agents' Welcome Frosh to Institute By Michelle Nyeln
Boston, Orientation 2007 kicked off on Saturday with Nicholas J. Fahey '05, one of the Orientation Coordi- Northeast nators, rollerblading onto the stage of Kresge Auditorium. Freshmen By Christine R. Fry were then introduced to the other EDITOR IN CHIEF Orientation Coordinators, also This article is thefirst in a series known as Se.cret Agents: Ivana L. intended to introduce freshmen to Sturdivant '04, Jonathan G. Wu '06, life in Boston and at the Institute . Elizabeth- A. Witham 'OS, and Future installments will deal with Zachary M. Eisenstat '06. other necessities of life at MIT, With the James Bond 007 theme, including banking and purchasing "Mission Orientation" began with a • textbooks. video of the secret agents training to Now that you've arrived at MIT orient the class of 2007. The video and marveled at the architectural included depictions of the secret masterpieces like the concrete behe- agents rock climbing and attending moth we call the Student Center, classes on "How to Get the Girl." you're probably ready to escape and The opening ceremonies were see something new for a change. the fIrst in a series of Orientation Not ready to leave? You will be activities. Orientation Leader Sarah when you get within "What the hell E. Poulsen '04 said, "This year's is that?" range of the Stata Center. Orientation activities are a good mix Once the fervor of Orientation of random, silly things and mean- and classes dies down, you will ingful events." probably realize that there is a world "I was surprised, in a good way," DANIEL BERSAK-THE TECH outside of the boundaries of the said David Arana '07. "You come EC GRT Annie Vlthayathll G rubs tapioca balls Into Madeleine B. Sheldon-Dante '07's hair at East Cam- MIT campus. The most immediate here and think it's going to be acad- . pus' tapioca wrestling event. world is called Boston and Cam- emic, but you see these guys goof- said Trevor T. Chang '07. Stephanopoulos '07. Orientation coordinators led fresh- bridge. Outside of that is the United ing off on stage." "What's unbelievable is how men through a series of games. In "They did a good job of integrat- organized and welcoming Orienta- Agents offer Klondike bars Getting Around, Page 12 ing freshmen with coordinators," tion is," said Elizabeth V. During the opening ceremonies, Orientation, Page 7 Doms to Limit FSILGers at Parties RIAA SaiJ1 to Drop De.fund By JennHer Krlshnan NEWS AND FEATURES DIRECTOR D.C. Cw;eAgainst IMtif1JJ£ The Dormitory Council will be By Keith J. Wlnsteln diate comment. limiting the number of members of NEWS EDITOR On Aug. 1, the RIAA asked the fraternities, sororities, and indepen- The Recording Industry Associa- federal district court in Washington, dent living groups in attendance at tion of America will abandon a D.C., to enforce a subpoena the the two major dormitory rush parties. court proceeding it instituted to RIAA issued in early July, asking c. A maximum of five members of force MIT to identify a network user MIT to identify a network user each FSILG can be present at either accused of copyright infringement, alleged to have been "offering hun- party at one time, according to a set an MIT attorney said. dreds of copyrighted works to the of rules agreed upon by Dormcon The case has become irrelevant world-at-large" through the KaZaA and the Interfraternity Council. now that the RIAA has agreed to file-sharing system. "We didn't want to be overrun" reissue the request using the proce- MIT balked at the subpoena, by FSILG members, said Emily E. dure MIT has demanded: signed by saying the Federal Rules of Civil Cofer '04, Dormcon president. She a clerk in the federal district court in Procedure and the 1998 Digital Mil- said all dormitory residents who Boston, not Washington, D.C., lennium Copyright Act required it
came back to MIT early to help with PETER R. RUSSO-THE TECH home to the RIAA. to be signed by the clerk of the fed- rush, of which there are about 30 East Campus residents (L to R) Aaron M Sokoloski '05, Erin R. An RIAA spokesman said the eral district court in Boston, not per dormitory, are expected to Rhode '04, and Isaac B. Feltler '04 launch water balloons at Senior organization, a trade group of major attend the party. . House from the roof of East Campus on Saturday. record labels, would have no irnme- RIAA, Page 6 John J. Huss 'OS, IFC recruitment F==~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ chair, said that five members per liv- mentioned in the rules. ing group represented an "appropri- Huss added that for the IFC, Ori- Top Salaries at MIT, July 2001 through June 2002 ate level of involvement" for the entation is "not really for rush." Name Tide Total Com ensation IFe. Instead, he said, it is a "time [for R. Bruce Journey Publisher, Technology Review $761,175 The rules also include a provi- freshmen] to get accustomed to the Charles M. Vest President $618,949 sion that "FSILGs should not be campus and, if anything, just to rush Allan S. Bufferd '59 Treasurer $582,366 removing freshmen from either them for the system in general." John R. Curry Executive Vice President $411,820 party with the intention of taking Richard L. Schmalensee '65 Dean, School of Management $395,167 them back to FSILGs," and Cofer Shirts to mark upperclassmen Robert A. Brown Provost $382,289 said the same rule was ''understood Cofer said the rules would be Thomas L. Magnanti Dean, School of Engineering $380,390 between all the dorms: ... don't handled by Judicial committee David L. Briggs Director, Lincoln Laboratory $362,683 bring freshmen back to your part of members, two from each dormitory RebeccaM.Hende~on'81 Professor of Management $340,784 campus" during the other side's plus some from the IFC. Phillip L. Clay PbD '75 Chancellor 247,797 party. All upperclassmen are required Kathryn A. Willmore Secretary, MIT Corporation $219,451 "I definitely understand the ratio- to wear shirts identifying their dor- Alexander V. d'Arbeloff'49 Former Chairman, MIT Corporation $183,960 nale for that rule, but the exact way mitory or FSlLG affiliation, accord- that it's written is not clear to me," ing to the rules for the parties. This salary information was included in MIT's Mayfiling with the Internal Revenue Service. They include Huss said, referring to the fact that the salaries of MIT's officers and thefive highest-paid other employees. members of dormitories are not Dormcon, Page 6 SOURCE: MIT IRS FORM 990
OPINION Comics FM ES Ken Nesmith discusses the value A Tecb advice columnist presents World & Nation 2 of honesty in politics. 'An Orientation Dating Guide.' . Opinion 4 Daily Confusion Al • Page 5 Features 8 Events Calendar .11 Page 10 Page 9 Page 2 THE TECH August 24, 2003 WORLD & NATION Rumsfeld Seeking To Bolster Poor Communications, Ohio Military Force Without New Iroops THE NEW YORK TIMES WA HINGTO Caused Blackout, Study Says Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld, seeking to increase the nation's combat power without hiring more troops, is poi ed to order a By James Glanz ent and still devastating problem: electrical grid was inadequate. sweeping review of Pentagon policies, officials say. and Andrew C. Revkln ew York power plants, without When problems soar around the It will include everything from wartime mobilization and peacekeep- THE NEW YORK TIMES anywhere to quickly send electricity grid in seconds, as they did that day, ing commitments, to reservist training, and incentives for extended duty. When an electrical transmission not needed within the state, over- Wood said, "you need to make sure A senior Defense Department official said Rumsfeld would order the line sagged into a tree just outside loaded their own system. That in that the communication between the Pentagon's senior leadership, both civilian and military, to rethink ways Cleveland at 3:32 p.m. on Aug. 14, turn quickly led to a general shut- different regions can move similarly to reduce stress on the armed forces, fulfill recruitment and retention the events that would lead to the down - the last stage in the largest fast." That cannot happen in the cur- goals and operate the Pentagon more efficiently. greatest power failure in orth blackout in the nation's history. rent setup, in which the various In essence, Rumsfeld will ask the service secretaries and chiefs and American history began their furi- That picture, based on large oversight organizations are frag- his undersecretaries to address how the Pentagon can more efficiently ous avalanche, according to the amounts of data from the utilities mented and often connected only by use its troops at a time when the force is spread thin by global deploy- most extensive analysis of the involved, was presented on Friday phone lines, Wood said. ments. blackout yet. by Cambridge Energy Research Ellen P. Vancko, a spokes- The failure of that transmission Associates, a private energy con- woman for the industry group line was crucial, because it put enor- sulting firm based in Cambridge, charged with preventing grid prob- Fox Loses Lawsuit to Halt Book mous strain on other lines in Ohio. Mass. lems, the North American Electric THE NEW YORK TIMES Soon, the utility that serves southern Two researchers at Cambridge Reliability Council, said the group NEW YORK Ohio, with its overloaded lines close Energy, Hoff Stauffer and Lawrence had not seen the scenario and could A federal judge in Manhattan told Fox ews on Friday that it had to to burning up, sealed itself off, cre- Makovich, presented their analysis not comment. learn how to take a joke. ating in very real terms, an electrical at a conference as federal energy Michael Holstein, vice president Then he rejected the network's request for an injunction to block barrier between southern and north- officials, other industry representa- and chief financial officer at the the satirist Al Franken from using "fair and balanced" on the cover of ern Ohio. tives and reporters participated by Midwest Independent Transmission his book, "Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Bal- What happened next, by this telephone and on the Web. The Fed- System Operator, which helps man- anced Look at the Right." account, was almost inevitable: To eral Energy Regulatory Commission age electrical flows on the grid for Calling the motion ''wholly without merit, both factually and legal- the north, Cleveland, starving for was represented by Pat Wood m. certain companies in the region ly," the judge, Denny Chin of United States District Court, said that a electricity, began to drain huge, Wood would not comment on where the blackout began, called the person would have to be "completely dense" not to realize that the unsustainable amounts of power whether he thought the specifics of Cambridge Energy scenario "an cover was a joke, and that trademark protection for the phrase "fair and from Michigan and then Ontario, the theory were correct. interesting hypothesis." But he • balanced" was unrealistic because the words were so commonly used. knocking out more lines and power Both Wood and the experts from rejected any suggestion that a lack Lawyers for Franken and his publisher, Penguin Group (USA), plants and pushing the crisis to the Cambridge Energy, though, were of communication could have con- called the ruling a victory for the First Amendment. Franken was not borders of northwestern New York. unequivocal on one emerging aspect tributed to the problems. in court. "I never really had any doubt," he said in a telephone inter- First the New York system, act- of what went wrong last week: The "At a certain point in time view, calling the ruling "a victory for satirists everywhere, even the ing to protect itself, sealed the state's system for communication among things happened so fast that human bad ones." border with Canada, the analysis the people and organizations that intervention was not possible," He also thanked Fox's lawyers "for filing one of the stupidest briefs found. But that only created a differ- operate that part of the nation's Holstein said. I've ever seen in my life." The Fox court papers had referred to Franken, a former "Saturday Night Live" writer and performer and an unabashed liberal, as a ''para- site" who appeared shrill, unstable and "increasingly unfunny." Abusive Priest Attacked, Dies The network could appeal the decision. Many Iraqis Weloome Reconstruction In THE NEW YORK TIMES Massachusetts State PriSon DIW ANIY A, IRAQ By Daniel J. Wakln He was convicted in Jan. 2002 of ever there was undeniable evidence As the area around Baghdad endured a week of repeated violence, and Kate Zezlma groping a 10-year-old boy in a that bishop after bishop after bishop a happier scene unfolded in this city, a two-hour drive to the south. THE NEW YORK TIMES swimming pool and sentenced to the knew and did virtually nothing." American soldiers, without helmets or body armor, attended grad- John J. Geoghan, the defrocked maximum. Other criminal charges Geoghan's acts of molestation uation ceremonies of the Diwaniya University Medical School. At priest whose abuse of children over were pending, as well as civil cases . date back to his first assignment as a ease with the Iraqi students and their parents, the Marines laughed, decades opened the door for a scan- involving more than 130 people who parish priest, at Blessed Sacrament joked and posed in photographs. One by one, the students walked up dal that shook the Roman Catholic said he abused them. Parish in Saugus, an area north of to thank them, for Marine doctors had taught classes in surgery and Church, was attacked and killed by His case is one of hundreds Boston where he served from his gynecology and helped draw up the final exams. another inmate in a Massachusetts involving clergy members, but it ordination in 1962 until 1967. And "We like the Americans very much here," said Zainab Khaledy, state prison, a Correction Depart- demonstrated the degree to which they continued until the 1980s 22, who received her medical degree 1ast Sunday. "We feel better ment spokeswoman said on Satur- the Roman Catholic hierarchy knew through a swath of suburban Boston than under the old regime. We have problems, like security, but day. about such problem priests and shut- parishes, in the bedrooms of his everything is getting better." "All I know is he was seriously tled them among parishes, showing parishioners children, at his family Such is the duality that is coming to define the American enter- assaulted," the spokeswoman, Kelly what victims said was more concern beachfront home, while he prayed, prise in Iraq, a country increasingly divided between those willing to Nantel, said of Geoghan, 68. for the church's reputation than the even at a Boston Red Sox game, put up with the American occupation and those few determined to Geoghan, who was defrocked in safety of children. according to the victims. • fight it. While the areas stretching west and north from Baghdad roil 1998, was serving a sentence of nine "Abusive priests were not news All along, bishops and cardinals and burn, much of the rest of the country remains, most of the time, to 10 years at the Souza-Baranowski particularly," said David Clohessy, received a succession of warnings remarkably calm. Rather than fight the Americans, most Iraqis appear Correctional Center in Shirley, a national director of Survivors Net- from parents and priests. He was to be readily accepting the benefits of a wide-ranging reconstruction. medium-security state prison about work of Those Abused by Priests. sent for psychiatric treatment and 40 miles northwest of Boston. "But with Geoghan for the first time returned to ministry. WEATHER From WIld to Mild Situation for Noon Eastern Daylight Time, Sunday, August 24,2003 ~~ o~ o~o~o~ o~~ ~ ~ ~ By Michael J. Ring ~'1) ...... Extended Forecast Today: Sunny and seasonably warm; a beautiful day. High near 76°F (24°C). Tonight: Clear and cool. Low near 55°F (l2°C). Monday: Partly cloudy. High near 78°F (26°C). Fog Monday night: Partly cloudy. Low near 60°F (l6°C). H High Pressute _Trough - - Showers - ...... Tuesday: Mostly cloudy and a little warmer. High near 82°F (27°C); low •••• WarmFront V* V R- Thundenlonn Low Pressure Ught near 65°F (18°C). L 00 Haze ••••• COIdFront Moderate * Compiled by MIT Wednesday: Cloudy with a chance of showers. High again near 82°F ~ Hurricane ** Mdeorology Staff (27°C)...... Stationary Front Heavy . • .. and7MT«h August 24, 2003 WORLD & NATION THE TECH Page 3 o Justice Suspended f9r Defying Passports, VISaS to Get High-Tech THE NEW YORK TIMES WASHINGTON Court on Ten Commandments Technologies that scan faces and fingerprints will become a standard part of travel for foreign visitors next year, and for all travelers in the By Jeffrey Gettleman granite remained in the rotunda and His critics praised the suspen- near future. The technology, known as biometrics, has been developing THE NEW YORK TIMES continued to be a rallying point for sion. for years, but largely because of security concerns after the attacks on MONTGOMERY. ALA. hundreds of evangelical Christians. "It's perfectly appropriate Sept. 11, its arrival has been greatly accelerated. Chief Justice Roy Moore was Some marched with Bibles, because he openly and flagrantly One deadline looms large - Oct. 26, 2004. In a little over a year, suspended from the bench Friday some brandished cardboard cutouts violated a federal court order," said the State Department and immigration bureau must begin issuing visas for defying a federal court order to of the Ten Commandments tablets Morris Dees, chief trial counsel for and other documents with the body-identifying technologies to foreign remove a 5,280-pound monument and others sang out, "I shall not be the Southern Poverty Law Center, visitors. The change is mandated by border security legislation passed graven with the Ten Command- moved!" one of the civil liberties groups that by Congress last May. The federal government has started issuing bor- ments that he had installed in the Moore made no public appear- argued that Moore had violated con- der-crossing cards for Mexican citizens and green cards that display fin- Alabama Supreme Court building. ances Friday. But in a television stitutional guarantees of the separa- gerprints and photos. Moore, who used the Ten Com- interview before his suspension was tion of church and state. "This is the mandments issue to rise from announced, he said, "My dispute is beginning of the end." obscurity in rural Alabama to the with the federal courts who have Not so, said others who predict- Mars Is Getting Close, and Maybe highest judgeship in the state, will intruded into state affairs, and we ed that the suspension would add to face a trial by the state Court of the are taking this matter to the United the swelling popularity of Moore, a So Are Those Little Green Men Judiciary, which ordered the sus- States Supreme Court." Republican elected to the post. THE NEW YORK TIMES pension Friday and will decide The U.S. Supreme Court, how- "This will only increase his martyr- Anyone looking at the night sky the last few weeks has seen it com- whether Moore should lose his job ever, has already rejected one of his dom," William Stewart, a political ing, Mars looming larger and redder on the way to one of its close permanently. appeals and legal analysts said they science professor at the University encounters with Earth. It happens every two years or so. But this time, Meanwhile, the titanic slab of did not expect it to side with Moore. of Alabama, said. on early Wednesday morning, Mars and Earth will be closer together than at any time in almost 60,000 years. Near as Mars will be this week, 34,646,418 miles away, observers are hardly likely to see as much as their imaginations once could see. Public Universities Cancel Classes The planet's red glow used to remind people of blood and life and war. Mars was assumed to be inhabited, perhaps by intelligent beings like the little green men of lore. It was a neighboring world that In Painful Cost-Cutting Measures enthralled and intimidated people. When some astronomers in the late 19th century thought they could By Greg Winter reduced the number of class-time percent of state appropriations in make out canals stretching across the planet's deserts, these were pre- THE NEW YORK TIMES slots across the board. some cases, have been too great not sumed to be a great civilization's desperate attempt at survival in a harsh After whittling away at staff, The University of Michigan will to take their toll. climate. It seemed to follow that adversity drove Martians to interplane- coaxing faculty members to juggle nearly double the size of some "There is no doubt that we're at tary belligerence, a theme science fiction feasted on, notably in H.G. more classes, stripping sports classes, shorten library hours, and a stage where the quality of the Wells' "The War of the Worlds." Orson Welles' realistic radio adapta- teams and trusting aging roofs to offer fewer freshman seminars. At educational experience is less than tion of the H.G. Wells story about a Martian invasion of Earth panicked hold out a few years longer, many California State University, up to it was two years ago, five years many listeners on the night before Halloween in 1938. public universities have reluctantly 30,000 students will be turned ago, and certainly less than what Human attitudes were shaped by curiosity as much as dread. Begin- begun chopping away at acade- away come spring. we set for our standards," said ning in 1911, Edgar Rice Burroughs wrote 11 romantic books about an mics, making it harder for students "The academic cuts are proba- Robert N. Shelton, provost of the American adventurer's travels to spired and domed cities of Mars, to graduate on schedule. bly the most severe I've seen," said University of North Carolina at where he woos and wins a beautiful princess. Is it any wonder that peo- The University of Illinois has Edward M. Elmendorf, an assistant Chapel Hill. ple began listening for radio messages from Mars? canceled 1,000 classes on hundreds secretary of education in the Rea- What this means for students Marconi, the wireless inventor, announced in 1921 that he had of subjects this 'year. The Universi-, gan administration and now a will vary from campus to campus, received mysterious signals in code that he suspected came from Mars. ty of Colorado has eliminated acad- senior vice president at the Ameri- even from major to major. Yet one So the next year and again in 1924, at close approaches of Mars, the emic programs in journalism, busi- can Association of State Colleges of the most common academic cuts U.S. government requested all radio stations to observe complete ness, and engineering. The and Universities. "And I don't see has been a reduction in the number silence for a certain period while operators listened for Martian signals. University of California has put off any mitigation in them in the com- of course sections offered - that Navy transmitters in the Pacific remained silent for three days, while a opening an entire campus. ing year." is, how many times a class is codebreaker stood by to translate any messages from Mars - all in The University of Missouri has The budget cuts, more than 10 taught in a given semester or year. vain. It's a connected world. Do your share. Wireless LAN Cards $30 Wireless Routers $50 http://www.CrescentOak.com For 30 ways to help rhe environment, write EarthShare, II'.:" Wireless Networking at Half the Price 3400 International Drive ,NW, Suite 2K (AD4), '1 Washington, DC 20008. Earth Share This space donated by The Tech Research Assistants Field Intervie"Wers Data COlllpilers and Analysts • $18 an hour to start. ".IJ . .",." • 3 to 10 hours per week . • ...... efOnaatiOD • Variety of short- and long-term independent projects available . byllnldon • Limited to students and graduates of Harvard, MIT, or Fletcher School at Tufts ...... by IMjtm/bIs PRBB PRBlGHT ON AU ORDERS You must observe the Institute of Management Consultants USA's Code of Ethics. You must demonstrate a OP $lJtJ or moM YOII fIKJII',1IMtl1l hmu" Mpe 10 commitment to the interests of the people you interview and the university community at large. Ji6"'W 0lIl "., tIIId ~ "'" 1tII1e,YOll 011.YO"'1eJdJJooJu/ Yisif our wehsire TODAY, Our MIT student assistants recently designed and built a security guard union's site, 617 835-2922 Advertisement paid for by the Student-Alumni Committee on Institutional Security Policy, Cambridge, MA, an independent nonprofit organization. Page 4 THE TECH August 24,2003 OPINION Chairman Jyoti Tibrewala '04 Editor in Chief Christine R. Fry '05 Busines anager Ian Lai '02 anaging Editor David Carpenter '05 Executive Editor Eun J. Lee '04 .\f:nssnFF ew and Features Director: Jennifer Krish- nan '04; ew Editors: Keith J. Winstein G, Lauren E. LeBon '06, Beckett W. Sterner '06; Associate Editors: Kathy Lin '06, Maris a Vogt '06, Jenny Zhang '06; taff: Kevin R. Lang G, aveen Sunkavally '01, Jeffrey Greenbaum '04, Sam Hwang 'OS, Jessica A Zaman 'OS, Tiffany Kosolcharoen '06, Laksh- mi ambiar '06, Jennifer Wong '06; Meteor- ologists: Samantha L. H. Hess G, Robert Lind- ay Korty G, Greg Lawson G, ikki Prive G, William Ramstrom G, Michael J. Ring G, Efren Gutierrez '03. I'RO{)UCIIUV ST4FF Editors: Hangyul Chung 'OS, Kevin Chen '06, Tiffany Dohzen '06; sociate Editors: ie Hen- drata Dharrnawan 'OS, icholas R. Hoff '05; Staff: Eric J. Cholankeril '02, Anju Kanumalla '03, • Andrew Mamo '04, Albert Leung '06, Jolint3 Lin '06, Jonathan Reinharth '06. OPINION STAFF Editors: Ken esmith '04, Andrew C. Thomas '04; Columnist: Philip Burrowes '04, Vivek Rao '05; Staff: Basil Enwegbara G, Maywa Montenegro G, Kris Schnee '02, Gretchen K. Aleks '04, Atif Z. Qadir '04, Stephanie W. Wang '04, Tao Vue '04, W. Victoria Lee '06. SPORTS STAfF Editor: Jennifer DeBoer '05; Columnists: O.B. Usmen '03, Eric Rosenblatt '04, Phil Janowicz '05. ARTS STAFF Editors: Jeremy Baskin '04, Allison C. Lewis '04; Associate Editors: Daniel S. Robey '04, Kevin G. Der '06; Staff: Erik Blankinship G, Bence P. Olveczky G, Sonja Sharpe G, Aman- deep Loomba '02, Bogdan Fedeles '03, SonaJi Mukheljee '03, Jed Home '04, Pey-Hua Hwang '04, Devdoot Majumdar '04, Chad Serrant '04, Petar Simich '04, Jorge Padilla 'OS, Ricky Rivera 'OS,Amy Lee '06, Jacqueline A. O'Connor '06. 1'11070GRAI'IIY S7:-IFF Editors: Brian Hemond '04, Jonathan Wang 'OS, oel Davis '06; Associate Editors: Daniel Bersak '02; Staff: Regina Cheung G, Wendy Gu G, Jinyang Li G, Michelle Povinel- Ii G, Dong Wang G, Xiaowei Yang G, Stanley Hu '00, Eric J. Cholankeril '02, Yi Xie '02, Scott Johnston '03, Marissa L. Yates '03, Miguel A. Calles '04, ina Kshetry '04, Dmit- ry Portnyagin '04, Benjamin Solish '04, Dalton Cheng 'OS, Annie Ding '05, Michael Lin '05, Timothy Suen '05, Amy L. Wong 'OS, Hassen Abdu '06, Matt D. Brown '06, John M. Cloutier '06, Colin Dillard '06, Victoria Fan '06, Jina Kim '06, Melanie Michalak '06, Edward Platt '06, Omoleye Roberts '06, Benjamin Schwartz '06, Sandra Yu '06, Elizabeth Zellner '06, Jean Zheng '06. Fr:.f n'RloS S7AFF Editor: Brian Loux '04; Associate Editors: Veena Ramaswamy '06, Ricarose Roque '06; Columnists: Akshay Patil '04, Michael Short '05; Cartoonists: Jason Burns G, Kailas aren- dran '0 I, Bao- Yi Chang '02, Jumaane Jeffries '02, Lara Kirkham '03, Alison Wong '03, Sean Liu '04, Nancy Phan 'OS, Josie Sung '05. BUSINESS STAFF "" Staff: Roy Esaki '04, William Li '06. ' ... .,:~. ':::'" TECiINOLOC YSTAFF Director: Roshan Baliga '03; Staff: Frank Dabek G, Kevin Atkinson '02, Daniel Leeds '05. EDITORS AT LARGE Senior Editor: Aaron D. Mihalik G; Contribut- ing Editors: Joel C. Corbo '04, Joy Forsythe '04. will be given higher priority. Once submitted, all letters become ADVISORY BOARD Opinion Policy property of The Tech, and will not be returned. The Tech makes no Peter Peckarsky '72, Paul E. Schindler, Jr. '74, Editorials are the official opinion of The Tech. They are written commitment to publish all the letters received. V. Michael Bove '83, Barry Surman '84, Robert by the editorial board, which consists of the chairman, editor in The Tech's Ombudsman, reachable bye-mail at ombuds- E. Malchman '85, Deborah A. Levinson '91, chief, managing editor, opinion editors, a photography editor, and [email protected], serves as the liaison between The Tech and Jonathan Richmond PhD '91, Vladimir V. an arts editor. its readers. From time to time, the Ombudsman writes an indepen- Zelevinsky '95, Anders Hove '96, Saul Blumen- Dissents are the opinions of signed members of the editorial thal '98, Joel Rosenberg '99, Joseph Dieckhans dent column reflecting the complaints, questions, and concerns of board choosing to publish their disagreement with the editorial. the readership. '00, Ryan Ochylski '01, Satwiksai Seshasai '01, Letters to the editor, columns, and editorial cartoons are writ- Rima Arnaout '02, B. D. Colen. ten by individuals and represent the opinion of the author, not nec- OMBUDSMAN essarily that of the newspaper. Electronic submissions are encour- To Reach Us John A. Hawkinson. aged and should be sent to /[email protected]. Hard copy The Tech's telephone number is (617) 253-1541. E-mail is the PRODUCTION STAFF FOR TillS ISSUE submissions should be addressed to The Tech, P.O. Box 397029, easiest way to reach any member of our staff. If you are unsure Editors: Eric J. Cholankeril '02, Hangyul Chung Cambridge, Mass. 02139-7029, or sent by interdepartmental mail to whom to contact, send mail to genera/@the-tech.mit.edu, and it will '05, Kevin Chen '06; Staff: Hongyi Hu '06. Room W20-483. All submissions are due by 4:30 p.m. two days be directed to the appropriate person. Please send press releases, 17t~ Tn,lt (ISS'I 0148.96(7) IS publl~ on Tuesdays and Fndays donna1he academ-e ,"car (e'(cept dtKIng \-tIT \acallOns). We solution proposed by Senator Orrin Hatch - Conglomerate, though, immediately sug- Record companies are certainly anti-com- Andrew C. Thomas the outright destruction of computers carrying gests collusion, and if any line of defense petitive in nature. One would be hard-pressed unsanctioned copyrighted material - gives available to the pirates has presented to find successful freelance recording To all new students: Welcome to MIT. new meaning to the term "grossly unconstitu- itself, s its antitrust. By challenging the artists, unbound by restrictive contracts. When you move into your new rooms and set tional" ~d should never again see the light of record companies in court to justify anti-com- Music freedom advocates (for lack of a up your computers, make sure your lawyer is day. petitive behavior, as a group of Internet radio better term) constantly reiterate the on speed dial. But this sort of problem is omnipresent, stations has recent- relative economy of the media them- Legal battles seem to permeate and shape reaching far beyond the walls of ly done, there is selves as compared to the sale price MIT life. The decision to have all freshmen MIT. Lawsuits and intimidation .411III••• as a measure of profit margins. live on campus was largely determined by a are short-term approaches, and It's feasible. Apple Computer's settlement relating to the death of Scott KaZaA, like Napster before it, is iTunes has proven that music can Krueger '01, and the class of 2007 is the sec- a relatively short-termmedium. be sold in a downloadable form ond stage of this particular experiment. There can be only one true ~. at low cost. The next logical Likewise, a new legal battle involving MIT solution to the widespread problem step is a new platform for PC- is making national headlines. The Recording of copyright violation: a compromise based systems that would continue to Industry Association of America is making a that respects the rights of artists to their develop the medium. If Apple devel- reputation for itself as the Thomas Jefferson in work and of consumers not to be raked oped compatibility ahead of their com- the fight against digital pirates, though to with bloated costs. petition they might have the opportunity some it seems more like Darth Vader. The The advent of new media should have to briefly corner the market. So far, the RIAA's tactics are broad and sweeping, going been a blessing for both artists and record closest competition seems to be after any and all unsanctioned distribution of companies alike. After all, any who are brave Buymusic.com, which doesn't have either the digital music files with unbridled zeal. Recent- enough to attempt to exploit the new technolo- ease of use of its Mac counterpart or the ly, it touched local life when the RIAA sub- gy would have the most to gain when it ~\&V / pitctm:an voice ?f Jeff Goldblum for its mar- poenaed MIT for the identity of a student who became mainstream. Instead, we have the ~ ketmg campaIgn. they claim worst of it, where con- (l l.J, lJ~ I'm sure someone remembers was distribut- sumer and company bat- /).1,7. '/ when single tune records were the ing MP3s tle in court. prime mode of musical distribution, a over the pop- In its spirit, copyright is about As it stands, the tradition started when vinyl record albums ular (and industry is fairly anti- could only hold one song per side. As it power fu 1) respectingthe wishes of the artist. It competitive. Artists are stands, this particular market is currently on file-sharing should be a shield ofprotection, not a bound to production life support. All would benefit to see this utility companies exclusively, idea returned in full force. KaZaA. cruise missile to befired at whim by a giving the latter a But for the idea to work, both sides have to MIT's first monopoly of services, come together. The RIAA must see that tap- defense to the conglomerateof recordcompanies. no matter how small. ping into the pirate market with low-cost, low- action was Artists receive only a production alternatives would yield more than along proce- small percentage of increased profit, but also establish a firm dural lines; the subpoenas were not issued by sales, and companies control their' fate until foothold for musicians at all levels to market federal courts in Boston. The next defense their pound of flesh, in musical form, has been their work. will inevitably highlight the umeasonable extracted. Besides, other than a decrease in the sale search of the computer believed to distribute In its spirit, copyright is about respecting of blank CDs, already offset by greater copyrighted material, but who knows how the wishes of the artist. It should be a shield of demand in the home computer market, what well that will hold up in these days of USA protection, not a cruise missile to be fired at hope that the draconian measures might find a does the collective music community have to P.A.T.R.I.O.T.ism. Thankfully, the notorious whim by a conglomerate of record companies. little restraint. lose by trying? The Meaning of the U.N. out that threat, law is nothing but empty ide- tion's doctrine of preemption. That simple decade; speak ill of him in his country and alism. The United Nations, apparently lack- doctrine states that if we face a significant you, your children, and grandchildren will ing the ability or will to deliver a credible .military threat, we will act to eliminate it face enslavement in prison, as have innumer- Say what you will about George Bush's threat of force ever or anywhere, instead rather than waiting to be attacked, as one able North Korean citizens. He's openly lied foreign policy, but if nothing else, agree that makes itself the vanguard of idealism, ulti- might act in self-defense against an armed to the international community on countless it's bold. The administration isn't afraid to mately irrelevant in international relations. criminal, rather than waiting for them to shoot occasions, and apparently continues to do so. purposefully take what it believes to be the Madeleine Albright, Secretary of State under at you. This is an undeniably reasonable Now, he's on the verge of acquiring a few rIght course of action. An ongoing tension Clinton, calls this bloody truth "inherent in stance. Albright agrees, but is bothered that nuclear weapons. (He's stated in the past that between strategies based either on diplomacy the voluntary and collective nature of the the administration "elevat[ ed] what has he'd be proud to make a martyr of his nation or on military action has been brought visibly United Nations" in a Sept. article in Foreign always been a residual option into a highly by striking the U.S. with nuclear weapons.) to the fore in recent months, as prominent Policy. publicized doctrine." The critique, then, is that We'll soon begin six-way talks to see if voices both currently in power and recently In the same article, Albright objects in this doctrine, the administration openly diplomacy can succeed here where it's failed deposed have aired attacks on their strategic strongly to contemporary characterizations of stated the truth. Her critique feels hollow. us so many times before. opponents. Amidst this fight, the Bush admin- the United Nations as irrelevant, ineffective, Surely all can agree, there are worse sins than What were Mr. Bolton's insensitive com- istration has faced a good deal of criticism and at odds with the United States. Ultimate- honesty. ments? He described life in North Korea as "a merely for stating the unstated but acknowl- ly, though, she paints a picture of the United Attacks on the administration for truth- hellish nightmare," and labeled its leader a edged truth. Nations as a large-scale charity operation that telling are even more ironic at a time when its "tyrannical rogue." "To give in to [Kim Jong Newt Gingrich kicked things off with an occasionally hosts meetings about military leaders face so II's] extortionist article in the journal Foreign Policy openly matters. The most prominent U.N. roles she much criticism, demands would attacking disorganization and institutional identifies are charitable and humanitarian some warranted only encourage failure at the State Department; the article was ones, haphazardly feeding the hungry, fight- and some not, for The courseof events leading to war in him and other widely interpreted as a sidelong attack on Sec- ing disease, defending human rights, and so deceptive arrange- would-be tyrants retary of State Colin Powell's commission by .forth - vital goals, to be sure, but ones that ment of evidence Iraq weakened the international stature around the Rumsfeld and his ilk. Most agreed, though, perhaps have not been orchestrated to perfec- for war in Iraq. of the United Nations. The middling world." Again, that Gingrich's criticisms had some merit. tion. Meanwhile, a New York Times article This is not, after his statement is This was only another manifestation of tradi- notes that the Gates Foundation, an underap- all, the only time organization simply could not manage nothing but the tional tension between Pentagon unilateral preciated dividend of Microsoft's success in that forthright truth and, for strategies and Department of State diplomatic, the software industry, has spent more than statements about to adequately address Saddam ~ that matter, the collective strategies. These strategies yield $610 million to fight tuberculosis, malaria, international murderousfolly. obvious. The markedly different characterizations of the and A.I.D.S., and will spend at least $478 affairs have response? Pre- United "Nations,either the centerpiece of inter- million more by 2005. The United Nation's brought criticisms dictable fretting national relations, or an irrelevance, depend- Global Fund partnership of 14 countries, pri- that we're step- about Bush's ing on who you ask. vate charities, and industry partners, estab- ping on toes and not affording terrorist presumptuous foreign policy - and, North The course of events leading to war in lished to fight those same three diseases, will nations proper courtesies; that's been the Korea dubbed Mr. Bolton "human scum." Iraq weakened the international stature of the spend just a bit more than that, $1.5 billion, charge ever since the world heard Bush speak Too often, criticism of the current adminis- United Nations. The middling organization on its mission. One man's handiwork now of the existence of right and wrong, a charge tration's military policies consists of loud simply could not manage to adequately challenges an international collective as the renewed upon his identification of Iraq, Iran, denunciations, perhaps with a cheeky call for address Saddam's murderous folly. In fact, most effective aid organization in the world. and North Korea as 'evil.' But most recently, regime change at home here and there, but they've failed to accomplish much of any- Perhaps a few more successes out of Red- the administration got into trouble when John behind the charges lies little more than objec- thing in the way of policing world affairs. mond will find Mr. Gates displacing the Unit- Bolton, undersecretary of state for arms con- tions to a straightforward, uncommon forth- U.N. peacekeepers are best known for stand- ed Nations as the global leader in prominent trol, spoke about North Korea, a nation suf- rightness to which the world is unaccustomed. ing by helplessly in the face of escalating fields of aid work. fering the wrath of the Kim Jong 11,the most It is not encouraging when the most promi- slaughter, most recently in Bosnia, Somalia, More interesting than Albright's defense vile dictator of which one could conceive. nent criticisms of our leadership consists of and Rwanda. Travesties like that illustrate of the United Nation's relevance in adminis- James Bond-style evil masterminds can't attacking their insistence on calling an apple very clearly for us that the rule of law is tering charity and conferring legitimacy on hold a candle to this monster, who has killed an apple, evil evil, and a hellish nightmare just predicated on the threat of force -and with- conflict is her mention of the Bush administra- millions via an induced famine in the last that. This space donated by The Tech Got a question? Call Nightline (x3-8800) Page6 THE TECH August 24, 2003 Freshmen Meet, Greet At Orientation Playfair Right: Freshmen run through Johnson Ice Rink with arms linked. Below: Playfalr, Inc. employee Jln Ghun Intro- duces WIlliam N. Barge '07 as he emcees the event. Below right: Exuberant freshmen display their excitement when asked to form groups according to the month of their birthday. Freshmen participated In Icebreaklng activities at Playfalr, which was Introduced as part of Orient. tlon last year. Photography by Grant Jordan and Jonathan Wang Parties to Encourage Cross-Campus Mingling Subpoena in Boston Expecred' Dormcon, from Page I pus dorms," and tomorrow night's Dean for Undergraduate Education RIAA, from Page 1 The RIAA is expected to ie-sub- Red Sector A party, sponsored by Robert P. Redwine, and Associate poena MIT through the Boston Cofer said dormitory residents the "east campus dorms," are new Dean for Student Life Programs Washington. court, and MIT has said it will com- who were also members of FSILGs additions to the Orientation sched- Barbara A. Baker. These offices In response, the RIAA instituted ply. Whether that compliance means had to choose which shirt to wear, ule this year. have provided about $17,000 for the the Washington case against MIT, MIT will send the RIAA the name but were not restricted from men- Cofer said last year, most fresh- two parties combined, Cofer said. asking the court to force MIT to of the infringing computer's owner tioning their other affiliations. men housed in the "west campus FSILG members were incorpo- comply. The RIAA has resisted fil- - whom MIT says it has identified, "We're not going to tell people dorms" never looked at the "east rated into the event "so that the ing subpoenas locally in part notified, and wishes dearly to speak that you can't say you're in a sorori- campus dorms," and vice versa. freshmen will have an opportunity to because of the expense of hiring with - is not yet clear. ty just because you live in Next These "REX" (Residence Explo- meet the upperclassmen" in the lawyers accredited to the bar of each On Friday, the RIAA requested House or something," she said. ration) parties are an "attempt to get FSILGS and to "help ensure that local jurisdiction. subpoenas from the Boston federal As for making sure that extra them to look at both sides of cam- their rush period begins on a positive But now, after the Boston federal court to be issued for Boston Col- FSILG members don't sneak in by pus ... [in] rush that's been com- and strong note later in the fall. Fur- court agreed with MIT on Aug. 7, lege, which Swope also represented just not wearing their shirts, Cofer pressed into several hours." thermore, FSILG participation fos- the RIAA will drop its independent in the successful effort to quash the said "we're kind of just hoping that For Dormcon purposes, the "east ters a sense of unity across campus," Washington case against MIT, said Washington subpoenas, and North- everyone will respect the rules. .., campus dorms" include Bexley according to a June proposal for the Jeffrey Swope, MIT's longtime out- eastern University. There will be enough dorm residents Hall, East Campus, Random Hall, Residence Exploration parties. side attorney. arO\md that [we hope] somebody will and Senior House. The "west cam- recognize these people as upperclass- pus dorms" comprise Baker House, men." She said Dormcon had consid- Burton-Conner, MacGregor House, ered giving the freshmen badges, but McCormick Hall, New House, Next Rules for Residence Midway and.East/West Parties ~ GeDeral rDies applyiDg to ResideDce Midway, that badges were "too restrictive and House, and Simmons Hall. West Party, aDd East Party firmed that a first warning was issued, the offending not in the spirit of partying." While the parties are being orga- individual(s) sball be escorted oUt of the Midway and nized by members of the dormito- 1. No badmouthing of other living groups. have their name tag(s) COIlfiscatM. No other member Parties a new part of Orientation ries, the funding comes almost 2. Groups must adhere to attendance restrictions of the group may take the place of tile indiviclual(s). Tonight's Island in the Sun entirely from the offices of Dean for (if any). 3rd offense: JudComm representative shaD contact party, sponsored by the "west cam- Student Life Larry G. Benedict, either jtyang or mcquin. Once either has confirmed Rules for Midway that the incident is the third offense, all inc;mbe:rs of 1. Dormitories shall have at most 10 members in the living group will be asked to leave the Midway their box. immediately. JudComms will escort the party to the Church 2. Fraternities shall have at most 7 members in check-in location 8.tld confiscate aU remaining name theirboL tags. 101 3. Panhellenic shall have at most 14 members in Note: In addition to the afotementiOJ:led penalties, their box. the IFC and l>onnC Sunday, August 24 hatin'. 22:17 - Random Hall- Minrest 06:00 scaxod prefibuwar. Ushrip guacamole 06:00 - EAsT camPUS - Fire alarm. zift! 06:00 - Bexxxley - All-Star Calis- 22:30 - EAsT camPUS - Our desk thenics with Phil Rha. Phildo pumps captain is dreamy. you like the East German swim team. 22:47 - Random Hall- Did you Lebensrauml Trunk twisters are 90% French people hit each other over the Stop by the dorm and get a tour. We'll in the Sun Party. The West Campus decode our last message yet? Keep working ... MENTAL 10% PHYSICAL head With stale baguettes ... or not. be showing off the "suite life" IJ after- (forms will be throwing the biggest pool 06:10 - senior Haus - Continuously 13:00 - RussIan House -Sailing on - noon a ~vel'li , 0 stop by anytime. party of the year at the Z-Center. Come 23:00 Compulsively Orgasming Cat - Spirit- Charles River. 15:12 - Senior HaIlS - The devious, with your swimsuit in hand and hungry 23:00 - Senior HaIlS - The Zestiful ed Away - Basement: Have you had 13:00 - senior Haus - Courtyard: crafty Dr. Michael Wong Chang will corr for Vinny Testa's. Infestival - Basement: Ringu: Like the PCP and LSD? Because we haven't, no Watch Nikki/Dorotea/ Josefina/Nicoti- vince you to ditch Team Jesus (or 18:00 - EAsT camPUS - Ride the ring, but you have to know how to read sir, not us. na snort a line of estrogen off her own Allah, Buddha, etc.) in favor of Team Snake. Take the Tour. to watch it. penis. Bonsai Kitten. 18:01 - Burton-Conner - Not in a 23:00 - EAsT camPUS - George 07:00 13:01 - French House - Ah, les 15:17 - R..... Hall- There are party mood? That's ok. You can come Bush is a wonderful president. 07:00 - EAsT c.nPUS - [email protected] anglo phones qui ne connaissent pas lots of people crammed into a gym, over to BurtorrConner and chill in the 23:11- MacGregor - The name is 07:01- senior HaIlS - We're all petanque! Venez assister a ce jeu tra- and we're near the stairs with comfy TV lounge, watch a movie, and take a House. MacGregor House. asleep. Go somewhere else for break- ditionnel de la France. La culture couches, 2x4 Jenga, juggling, shiny tour. 23:15 - French House - A La Mai- fast, and come back later. fran~aise a besoin de vous. (Le moving lights ... we could stay here all 18:12 - Senior HaIlS - Get a tour son Fran~aise nous aimons beaucoup 07:20 - French House - Did you Champs de Briggs). day! If only we had some nice fresh- from Rob while he's got an inflatable la grammaire. Nous avons un M. Sub- wake up with the strange feeling that 13:07 - MacGregor- Party like it's men to talk to ... Love Ewe taped to his crotch. jonctif et une Mlle. Futur, mais nous you were dreaming in French? Nous 2003. In a MacGregor Single. Ohhhhh- 15:26 - senior HaIlS - Mike Brown 18:30 - Gennan House - Guten avons perdu notre M. Imparfait. Si la comprenons. Help is available. Dream hhh yeeeeaaaaahhhhhhh (in the voice is Sober-It's the Michael A. Brown story Abend! position vous interesse, visitez LMF, Interpreting - LMF, New House 6, 5th of Duff Man.) hour! Michael A. Brown has exciting 18:30 - Baker House - Camp Out 5ieme etage, New House 6. Les gens floor. 13:17 - R..... Hall- Circles are stories about True Life to share with all at Baker - Stop by and get a Baker parfaits ne doivent pas appliquer. your friends - that's why our dorm is you fresh people. Word Up homeslice. tour. Remember to come join us for 23:17 - Random Hall - We have five 08:00 made up entirely of them! At Random, 15:55 - French House - Pourquoi hot cocoa and smores by the Baker hundred and sixty~ight movies and we can't pick which ones to watch tonight! 08:20 - senior HaIlS - Monty we revel in our circleness (circlosity? n'etes-vous pas au midway? La Mai- fireplace. So come to desk and help us pick Python and the Holy Grail - This cicularity? circulescence?). son Fran~aise detende a Johnson Ath- 18:59 - Random Hall- We don't something to watch. Princess Bride? movie has lots of important ife 13:31 - Random HalI- Closest letics Center, et nous aimerions vous have to pay by the letter, see, so we Real Genius? Top Gun? The Smurfs lessons. The first of which is that dorm to Burger King. Come visit us dur- rencontrer. can fill this up with delicious gibberish. Crack the RSA Cryptosystem? Indiana French people are Horrible. ing REX anyhow. Qwank blorghity svorky meow. 13:33 - MacGregor - As if we 16:00 Jones? 23:17 - Random Hall - Back to the 09:00 haven't had enough free food already. 16:00 - SenIor HaIlS - Full METAL 19:00 Somethin' good is waiting for us in Future? The Empire Strikes Back? 09:00 - RussIM House - Early Jacket - Basement: We don't know 19:00 - Chocolate City - Chocolate MacG lobby. Spaceballs? The Dorm That Dripped Russian Style Breakfast: Tea and Blini you but we HATEyou. Already. We are City invites you to come chill and take 13:46 - French House - Wanted: Blood? Casablanca? All twenty-four (crepes). prejudiced, you see. Prejudiced. Starts a break from your Daily Confusion in Crazy cow for mascot position. Must hours of Monty Python episodes? 09:50 - senior HaIlS - Monty with "p" ends with "ejudiced." New House. Meet current brothers in speak French and Quebecois. If you Office Space? Blazing Saddles? Apollo Python and The Aying Circus - B~ 16:00 - Gennan House - Still at the the house, listen to good music and qualify for this position, visit La Maison 13? Barn of the Blood Llama? (oh, ment: A nod is as good as a wink to a Residence Midway. If you're lucky, we relax. We don't hate, nor discriminate, Fran~aise, New House 6, 5th floor. God, nooooooo!!!!!ll!!!!) blind bat. still have German pretzels for you. so tell all your friends to come and Please provide references. 16:00 - EAsT camPUS - Beep, enjoy what we like to call home. 23:30 - German House - Gute Nachtl 10:00 beep! Toot, toot! Jenny Hu will come 19:03 - Random Hall - Why are you 14:00 get you. x~2871. 23:47 - Random Hall - Liquid nitro- 10:00 - Gennan House - Bleiben reading this? You should be enjoying 14:17 - Random Hall - The Safety 16:03 - New House - yummmm ... yourself at the Island in the Sun party. gen is cold. No, colder. Even colder. Sie fit und gesund! Eat some bananas Office thought it'd be safer for us to Ice Cream at New House:} Come find the people in the Random No, no, you have it all wrong. It's and come on a fun, scenic run along have an entire dewar of liquid nitrogen 16:12 - Senior HaIlS - "ako Hall Rush T-shirts if you want someone COLD! And we have 240 liters ... the Charles River with German House all to ourselves ... heheheheheheeee .... mozhesh da prochetesh tova, znachi interesting to talk to. 23:59 - French House - Voulez- - all experiences and speeds 14:17 - Random Hall - .... so we're shte zhiveesh tuk" 19:15 - French House - Tout Ie vous coucher avec nous? You have to welcome. going to be making more liquid nitro- 16:15 - EAsT camPUS - KAPPASIII- monde est a la Fete d'Ouest. Nous y sleep somewhere! P.S. We still have 10:00 '- EAsT camPUS - The Sover- cookies. gen ice cream than even we can imag- IIIIIG!!lI!l sommes aussi, bien que nous aimions eign Nation of East Campus is in ine right now. 16:25 - Bexxxley - Space people I'appeler la Rive Gauche. Et nos accordance with all U.N. restrictions on 14:20 - senior HaIlS - Powaqqatsi think factories are musical instru- chemises disent -meu.» weapons of mass destruction. East Monday, August 25 - Basement: If you mix up the letters ments. They sing along with them. 19:15 - French House - Everyone's Campus Officials will gladly give tours in the word Know, you get wonk. Each song lasts from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. at West Party. We are too (although we of all facilities to your inspectors. 00:00 14:39 - senior Haus - senior haus No music on weekends. prefer to call it the Left Bank). And our 00:00 - Senior HaIlS - Dark Triumph is what the whole hep world would be 16:30 - German House - Guten , snirts $ifi tm, 0" """"7 but in Frenchl Underground literary magazine literary • doing on a saturday night if the nazis Tag! meeting room 449. 11:00 - Gennan House - had won the war. 16:47 - Random Hall - Meet at 20:00 00:00 - EAsT camPUS - Call Bex- Deutsches Haus ist zum New House 14:56 - French House - We found a Random's booth on the second floor 20:00 - EAsT camPUS - Who do Brunch gegangen. Kommen Sie aile ley's Rush Chair at (617) 306-3179 for mascot just in time for the Residence near the stairs and we'll take you to you think made those boats, baby? und sagen Sie "Hallo." a tour of Bexley Hall. Midway. But we didn't have time to this wonderful place we've been telling 20:00 - Bexxxley - Come by for 00:17 - Random Hall- Hey, has 11:00 - Dormitory CouncH - "Wel- give him a name. Stop by our booth to you about. We call it home. In a few some small talk no one cares about! come to MIT" Brunch. Enjoy breakfast Oliver bought The Uon in Winter yet? participate in our "Name the Crazy Cow days, maybe you will too. Our living group is totally the coolest, with student leaders and housemas- 00:40 - Senior HaIlS - Lock, Stock Contest". There will be lots of goodies and to prove it, we're going to kiss and Two Smoking Barrels - Basement: ters as they welcome you to MIT and and prizes to be won! 17:00 your ass, cook you waffles and pre- explain DormCon's campus exploration. All I can think of are pom references. 14:5E?- French House - Nous 17:00 - French House - Voulez- tend MIT is a nonstop carnival with events. Roam around your temp dorm 00:43 - EAsT camPUS - Sex. avons finalement trouve une mascotte! vous parler avec nous? Come by for Spin Art and a muthafucking dunk- to find the event and food. Mais, nous n'avons pas eu la chance some great conversations, debates, tank! 01:00 11:20 - SenIor HaIlS - Sick: The de lui donner un nom. Rendez nous and jokes. We'll even throw in a house 20:37 - Random Hall - Blorghity Life Death of Bob Aanagan, Super- 01:17 - Random Hall - How many & visite durant Ie Residence Midway pour tour and an informal French lessonl svokry mrrreep! licks does it take to get to the liquid masochist - Supercalifragilistic-<:ystic assister a notre concours de - Nom- LMF, New House 6, 5th floor. 20:40 - Senior HaIlS - Leon - fibrosis. nitrogen center of a dewar? Leth thind mer la Vache Folie ». Les meilleurs 17:00 - Baker House - Need a Basement: Come one, come all, to the audth ... oowwheee .... ithe cweme suggestions recevront des prix! loan? Got poor credit? No credit? Then pedophile tent, where young girls and ennee-one? 12:00 get out. old men run free like wolves! 01:21 - French House - Nous 12:00 - senior HaIlS - It's chalk, 15:00 17:12 - Senior Haus - We'll see if sommes bien eveilles, II faut nous vis- it's chalk, it's big, it is heavy, it is 15:00 - Donnltory Council - Dorms we can't find ourselves a nice big 21:00 wood. We're chilling in the courtyard. iter: Toujours a la Maison fran~aise, can now officially advertise events and hooka to smoke some nice fancy ass 21:00 - Russian House - Movie nous nous amusons! 12:00 - German House - Gruess- explicitly invite you to join the fun. We terbaccer out of. If not, well, free rush night. Watch movies from Russia. dich. Wir essen jetzt beim New House 01:30 - German House - Guten encourage all freshman to make the cigarettes are sort of the same. 21:05 - Baker House - Charlie Brunch. Morgen! most of REX and have fun with the 17:13 - senior HaIlS - Come to the Korsmo, Alan Guth, and Matthew Web- 12:00 - EAsT camPUS - Help EC upperclassmen! senior ~ aus courtyard and meet our ber lived in Baker. You're next. win the arms race. Help us build the 02:00 15:00 - Burton-Conner - Make sure own paganistic deity, the Angry Tree. 21:09 - French House - -Droit next generation of military technology. 02:00 - Russian House - White you stop by BurtorrConner's square at The Tree desires that fresh bodies sac- devant soi, on ne peut pas aller bien Nights of Saint Petersburg ("Belie Secure your lucrative government rock- the Midway. Play some games while rifice some blood for the glory of tire loin.» - Le Petit Prince. et building contract in the EC court- Nochi SClnkt-Peterburga"). (No! This is you talk to the upperclassmen about swinging. 21:12 - Senior HaIlS - We are the yard. not another movie night) why they love the "suite" life. 17:17 - Random Hall- Did you ever priests of the temples at Syrinx. Our 12:30 - French House - Vous avez 02:00 - EAsT camPUS - We put the 15:00 - Senior HaIlS - Alice-irrWorr try to eat sand at the beach when you great computers fill the hallowed halls. trop mange de nourriture gratuite. ec back in erect. derland-style tea party in the courtyard. were a kid? Well, we have something 21:23 - EAsT camPUS - You're 18! Maintenant, brGlez ces calories avec 02:02 - French House - We have We're weird because we're fictional. even better: Rice Krispie Treats! Come Come play the Housing Lottery! des jeux de sports fous de la Maison COOKIES! We also have BISCUITS 15:00 - Gennan House - Come see help us play with our buckets of krispie 21:44 - Random Hall - So e to the Fran~aise. Rendez-vous Briggs Field. (=French cookies)! a us at the Residence Midway. We'll be gooey goodness and cheap plastic x and a constant were walking down 12:30 - French House - You've 02:17 - Random Hall- Reminisce the ones with the fresh homemade sand toys! the street ... about your first grade days by playing eaten too much free food. Now, bum Bretzeln (pretzels). 17:34 - Random Hall- Did we merr 22:00 those calories with crazy French sports some old-school kickball ... at two in 15:00 - Donnltory Councll- Resi- tion that our Rice Krispie Treats come 22:00 - EAsT camPUS - Don't be games. dence Midway. The Residence Midway in multiple colors and with candies to the morning. You're going to have to 12:30 - German House - Blitzkrieg. is the only time you'll ever see all the help you decorate your own castle and Destroy French House in soccer, ulti- dormitory, fraterity, sorority, and inde- that you can help us mix together copi- Residence Hall Contact Information mate frisbee, and other sports. pendent living groups all crammed into ous amounts of melted butter and 12:30 - Bexxxley - Midget, the Johnson begging for your attention. melted marsh mellows and generic rice Dormitory Address Phone Chicken of the sea. Yes we have Heinz Come explore all the living options at flavored cereal??? Baker House 362 Memorial Dr. 25~3161 57. MIT all in one place. 17:35 - French House - Do you like Bexley Hall 50 Mass. Ave. 258-9863 12:47 - Random Hall- We're closer 15:00 - EAsT camPUS - EC will be posters? Van Gogh, Monet, Yvonne - BurtorrConner 410 Memorial Dr. 253-3261 to main campus than half of the accepting charitable contributions to la Maison Fran~aise has plenty. Check East Campus 3 Ames St. 25~2871 dorms, and we're also the closest to the East Campus Residence Midway out European wall art! LMF, New MacGregor 450 Memorial Dr. 253-1461 Cambridge. We're watching the Cam- Fine Fund. Please help the innocent House 6, 5th floor. McCormick 320 Memorial Dr. 253-5961 bridge Festival Parade with us! victims of this war. 17:55 - French House - Wondering New House 471 Memorial Dr. 253-6561 12:50 - Senior HaIlS - Koyaanisqat- 15:00 - Bexxxley - Stop by Bexley where the - Freedom House» is? Ask Next House 500 Memorial Dr. 253-8761 si - naturenaturenaturenaturenaturena- Hall to learn the greatest method of for directions at the LMF kitchen, New Random Hall 290 Mass. Ave. tuMANrenaturenaturenatMANurena- dealing with term-time stress, the art House 6, 5th floor. 258-6344 senior House 70 Amherst St. turenaMANturenatMANurenaturMANen of self love. Learn in a friendly public 253-3191 Simmons Hall 229 Vassar St. atMANureMANnatMANurMANeMANrr environment with the undisputed mas- 18:00 253-5107 Chocolate City New House 1 258-6371 MANaMANMANMANMANMANMAN ters of the field. Whale songs will be 18:00 - Senior Haus - Movies on French House New House 6 258-6388 provided. Math, only with less a's and more e's- German House New House 6 258-6385 13:00 15:01- Burton-Conner - The Resi- Basement: Pulp fiction? More like Pulp Russian House New House 1 258-6369 13:00 - French House - Petanque? dence Midway has begun and you want fetus! Spanish House New House 3 225-7542 What's that? Maybe it's a game where to learn more about BurtorrConner. 18:00 - Donnltory Councll- Island Page A1 THE TECH August 24, 2003 get used to staying up this late any- 09:00 - Burton-Comer - Breakfast ential equation with constant coe~ 16:10 - French Howe - Cooking 17:30 - French House - Diiiiiiiiiiiiii~ cow. 22:00 world's smallest nuclear power could- 06:00 10:00 - EAsT camPUS - The Sov- popotamic land mass!" ways, so why not spend it having fun if the most important meal of the day. cients." Good thing we work in TIp #1 - Throw your pasta against a iiiinnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeer II! (LMF 19:15 - h Ho.- - ain- 22:00 - SenIor ... - Cui De Sac build one; it requires only the will to 06:00 - EAsT camPUS - Call Bex- ereign Nation of East Campus is in 13:47 - Random Hall- What's with some awesome people from That's why we here at Burton-Conner teams! wall. If it sticks, it's done. Kitchen, New House 6, 5th floor) tenant tout Ie monde est a la Fete - East Party: This Band does tours in do so. But before we do that... ley's Rush Chair at (617) 306-3179 accordance with all U.N. restrictions DDR? More to the point, what's a Random? Mmmm, kickball ... have a huge breakfast here for your 16:10 - SenIor Haus - The Four 17:30 - Burton-Conner - Cool off d'Est Oui, nous y sommes aussi. Et Europe. It musti be good. Come and 02:47 - Random Hall- ... come for a tour of Bexley Hall. on weapons of ass destruction. East SPUI?! 02:30 - senior Haus - Amorres dining pleasure. You're sure to find 1.4:00 Day Sacrifice to the One-Eyed God - with a nice, refreshing .... water bal- oui, nous portons toujours les See. see Dr. Strange/olle on our roofdeck, 06:17 - Random Hall - If only we Campus Officials will gladly give tours 13:49 - senior Haus - So you're a Eraserhead - Erasing nine faces every- loon! Or a smoothie. We have plenty memes chemises. Cherchez la this one taking place "during" the Perros - Basement: Me encanta cor- something you like from our wide 14:00 - French House - Forget 22:00 - Baker Hol.e - It's 10 could put a monkey in front of a type- of all facilities to your inspectors who virgin frosh. And lack of play makes day without LYNCH LYNCH of both over at Burton-Conner. vache. nuclear holocaust. Never before have tar fetos en pedazos. selection of food and drink. landscape. Remember what trace pm. Do you know where your laundry writer and have him write our entries. show up at the front desk you obnoxious. Which ensures you LYNCH david. i give up, i've never Smoothies made to order. 19:17 - Random tWI- you had such confidence in the mil~ 09:00 - senior Haus - Awake for Michelangelo was famous for? is? Oh, wait, we CAN ... a a 10:08 - Baker House - Do you never get play. Which makes you seen this movie - but you should. 17:30 - SenIor ... - The Clock- Ooooooooooblekkk ... with a name tary, nor such fear of the Coca<:ola 03:00 the advanced standing exams? You *wink* Bring out the models! Paint- 22:00 - EAsT camPUS - The flKJ;ADlkj;POIDJ'LK LKJAjlk; asfs;lkj like long walks on the beach, holding more obnoxious, etc. Starting to work Orange - Basement lashings of that fun to say, it's gotta be cool. 03:00 - EAsT camPUS - Is your dumbass frosh. ing "en pleine nuditl!_" 16:13 - SenIor Haus - Beautiful Housing Lottery. Hey, you never Company. Behold the power of the afTO BE OR NOT to beds;o hands, and reading poetry? Neither understand? the ultraviolence - talchaking gullivers And we've got a Whole kiddie pool tempory ID not opening the doors? 09:15 - BexxxJey - Free Rush vio- 14:00 - Gennan House - Still Jam- Smoke Bubbles in the Air - Courtyard: know. cowboy. 06:17 - Random HaD - aij do we. at a theater near you. full of it over by Walker Memorial. Call x5-tl573 and I'll pick you up, lations! (Bring latex gloves) ming. Impromptu music at its worst The Hills are Alive with the Smell of WEFalsieru 09832u alkfdsj saldfj 10:40 - Senior Haus - Jesus tells 1.4:00 17:30 - Gennan Hol.e - Gennan 19:30 - Gennan Ho.e - Gesund- baby. 09:30 - French House - Breakfast (ja, es ist so lustig!). Cancerl Soapy bubbles and free rush 23:00 03:00 aw983r7 alkfds a;I@#$@#$% you exactly which of your sins he 14:00 - Bexxxley - Come get the house cuisine at its finest. Come eat heit! died for. 03:15 - French House - Visitez La - What could be better than crepes 14:10 - SenIor Haus - City of Lost cigarettes. 23:00 - EAsT camPUS - Miss 03:00 - EAsT camPUS - Kid finds 2982%#)($ DFGMKQ# $(U% OVJ gift that keeps on giving. Yeah, that's it (even if you didn't help cook), prac- 19:47 - Random Hall- Ooblekl Maison Francaise; c'est simple for breakfast? Crepes with nutella, Children - Alex Schimdt, this is for 16:15 - Burton-Conner - TIred of your mother? E-mail eo- $70,000 in his closet! Enter the A(#WUR AREMF Q)(#URkds awp98r 10:45 - senior Haus - Basement: right, Herpes Simplexl!! You know you tice your Gennan (ja, Guten Abend), *bounce*! comme bonjour! LMF, New House 6, perhaps? Come to La Maison you. cookies, pop, and chips - three of the [email protected]. Housing Lottery. dfs12kds8 wkjafds09A It was tHe bESt of tiMEs Trainspotting? More like naked Ewan want it. major staples of orientation? A and eat some more. There's always McGregor. We all know you don't 5e etage. Francaise and our treasurer, Dave, 14:11- French House - Van Gogh 23:20 - SenIor H_ - The Shin- 03:01- Senior H_ - Playing it Was the blursT of Times ... 14:10 - senior HaIlS - Y Tu Mama smoothie would be so much better! plenty of food at Gennan House din- care about the plot or the theme. 03:16 - senior HaIlS - http://bon- will put nutella on anything you want, cut off his ear for a woman. That 20:00 ing - Wino cellar: I'm not gonna hurt twister is much more difficult when E23;LK4JM 2 0 Tambien - Basement: We have it in 16:17 - Random Random ners. New House, house 6, 2nd floor. 10:47 - Random Hall- Hey, look saikitten.com if you haven't already. baby. New House 6, 5th floor. would have never been necessary if HalI- 20:00 - Senior H8US - Dr. ya - I'm just gonna bash your brains you're covered in lubricant. Don't 06:17 - Random Hall - good word that there is no tam- Hall: where rubber like glass, air 17:47 - Random HalI- Join the everyone, we've still got liquid nitro- 03:47 - Random Hall- Random 09:31- French House - Le petit- he had lived in La Maison Francaise. acts Strange love or: How I Leamed to in! I'm just going to bash them right worry, it's water based. 987QWbuffetU2Q;l3K.J ; JALKFDSJ bourines in this movie. Still, even if like water, and plastic like ... Boffer Knights on the Random Hall gen! ... ice cream! House ... of Pancakes! Jack may dejeuner: Que pourrait etre meilleur You know you're curious! La peinture acts acts Stop Worrying and tove the Bomb - the FUCK in! ... 03:06 - MacGregor - PARTY ON ABFUY 0lRJ3T QLKEW svorky asldhf you are a tambourine lover, you plastic. Roofdeck as they practice their art 10:49 - Senior HaIlS - Orgy in the have told you he's taking you to que des cre~ pour Ie petit- 16:55 - Random Hall - 5 minutes Simmons Sponge Huntl We hid about 02:25 - Senior Haus - Life changing 12:00 - Bexxxley -It's spunk'" the Porter Room for the beginning of until 17:00 ... 100 sponges in the nooks and crannys but transient moment of subtlelty and Protein can be fun. The stains, the floor rush. Our nine floors will show 16:57:30 - Random Hall - 2.5 min- in our sponge-like building, its YOUR clarity. Or not. stickyness, the smooth, creamy tex- off their unique personalities so that utes until 17:00 ... job to find theml The winner (whoever ture, come take in, or squirt out, the you can find the one that fits you 16:58:45 - Random Hall- 1.25 has the most) will get a cool prize at 03:00 full experience. (Vegetarian options best. minutes until 17:00 ... the end of the contest. Come find 03:00 - EAsT camPUS - Watch us also available) 19:00 - SenIor Haus - If you lost sponges with us! build a 60 foot tower in the courtyard. 12:01- Senior Haus - Hey, your bestiality point already, we'll give 17:00 20:00 - German House - Get your Then, practice your fire-fighting skills kid ...have you seen my puppy dog? you a dollar. Come to Desk and take 17:00 - Random Hall- Oops, looks fix of intense German Cinema. MRun as we douse it in gasoline and then He's really cute and fluffy. Would you the Lambda Sigma Delta Purity Test. like Zeno was wrong. Oh well. Life Lola Run~ with refreshments in the torch it. help me look for him? ... I have some 19:00 - Chocolate City - Choco- goes on. German House Lounge. New House, candy in my car... late City invites you to come chill and 17:01- Random Hall-I wonder if house 6, 2nd floor. 04:00 take a break from your Daily Confu- 20:09 - Baker House - A pirate sion in New House. Meet current The Tech checks the time on our 04:00 - Senior Haus - Lesbian Bed 13:00 -walks into a bar, with a steering wheel brothers in the house, listen to good entries ... Death. You'll find out. 13:02 - Senior Haus - You know, hanging out of his fly. The bartender music and relax. We don't hate, nor 17:00 - Random Hall - By the way, 04:41- Senior Haus - "I'm here to kid, you have really pretty eyes ...any- says, MWhatthe ...?" The pirate says discriminate, so tell all your friends to the lottery's over now. do one of two things, kick ass and one ever tell you that? MAm ... It drives me nuts! ~ come and enjoy what we like to call 17:00 - Senior Haus - Recruitment chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of 13:41 - Senior Haus - Sweety, can I 20:36 - Senior Haus - Interested in home. time. If you're here, you're gonna be bubble gum. ~ call you Molly? You look just like a queer, get used to it. the Cambridge-MIT Institute? Come to Molly, with that pretty blonde hair all 19:00 - Dormitory Councll- Perma- 17:00 - Dormitory Council - Orien- this infOrmation session to find out nent Residence Hall Assignments. 05:00 over your head. tation Adjustment Lottery Closes. Run what's involved. Topics include "wank- Check your e-mail for your permanent 05:00 - EAsT camPUS - Call Bex- to Athena right now and enter your dor- ing", being "nobbled in the goolies~ dorm assignment and report to the ley's Rush Chair at (617) 306-3179 for 14:00 mitory preferences into the lottery! and having a "jolly good rogering". front desk of your new home for further a tour of Bexley Hall. 14:07 - Senior Haus - Can I touch http://web.mit.edu/housinglottery/ instructions on In-House RUSH! 05:08 - Baker House - Baker your hair, Molly? Squat your current dorm assignment or 21:00 19:10 - SenIor Haus - Make your Social is the ... Bomb Diggity. Or so it enter up to three new preferences. 21:00 - German House - Lola own Bonsai Kitten with the one and seems. 16:00 17:00 - EAsT camPUS - Enter the Rennt noch. Deutscher Rim, mit dem only Dr Michael Wong Chang. Leam by 05:22 - Random Hall-I don't 16:03 - senior Haus - Molly, why lottery now. Enter the lottery now. Deutschen Haus. Neues Haus, Haus doing, all the techniques required to think I've complained about the char- don't you reach your hand up your 17:02 - Senior Haus - It's too late. Sechs, Erster Stock. create a shaped cat from "scratch". acter limit in a few days. Anyhow, it shirt ... just a Iittle ...you're really pretty, We'll simply bid you adieu. 21:00 - Baker House - Baker Baker Rnd out the secrets of intubation, sucks. Greatly. 275 is a small num- you know? 17:17 - Random Hall- Yeah, we're Baker medication, oxygenated food slurry and ber. I mean, 17 is so much cooler. 16:13 - Senior HallS - Don't cry, still chillin' in the main lounge, eating 21:00 - EAsT camPUS - Come the importance of good cramming teclr It's round and fuzzy and tangy and baby! I just want to love you... our 8~et t8~e liquid nitrogen ice cream. watch a large demonic rabbit. Being nique. shiny and I think the rush chairs are 16:20 - Senior Haus - Did you know 17:30 - Random Hall- Beam me thus inspired, stay and eat said rabbit. 19:15 - EAsT camPUS - If you are nearing the end of their proverbial you can make Napalm from Tide? Nei- up, sayonara, adios, au revoir, Movie and a dinner at EC. one of the top ten percent of your ropes, but therdid we. toodleloo, svorky, meow! Take care 21:30 - EAsT camPUS - The Hous- freshman class sharp enough to get 16:44 - French House - Ohhhhh, kids, and y'all come back, now y'hear! ing Lottery. All you need is a login and into Fred Dorm, leave your room for Champs-Elysees! 17:42 - Random Hall- Time to a dream. 07:00 Fred Desk for reassignment. slink away, boys, slink away ... 07:30 - EAsT camPUS - By now 19:30 - Dormitory Council - In- 22:00 you regret agreeing to wake up early to 17:00 House RUSH Begins. Report to the take exams. Come drown your sorrows 17:15 - Senior Haus - Stop it now, front desk of your permanent dormitory 18:00 22:00 - German House - A psychol- in milk. you little bitch! You...1'1IMAKEyou to find out more details on how to 18:00 - EAsT camPUS - EC. We ogy experiment gone awry in the Ger- stop l'lI do itl...mommy taught me choose what floor/entryway you will be are the beautiful people. man House Lounge. See MDasExperi- how . living on within your new home. ment," yet another intense German 09:00 17:16 - Senior HallS - The tree is 19:30 - EAsT camPUS - Muy Impor- 19:00 film. Eat food. New House, house 6, 09:00 - Senior Haus - "Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; displeased. You're running out of time tantel If you're not here right now 19:00 - Chocolate City - Choco- 2nd floor. And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't to give blood, come ride the lifeswing you're going to be living in a broom late City invites you to come chill and 22:00 - EAsT camPUS - Amittai lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; of doom. closet. Hall Rush starts now. take a break from your Daily Confu- just wasted an hour and a half of his 17:41 - senior Haus - Swim iQ our time. You might as well sport death. " sion in New House. Meet current pool. Yes, really. We will be playing brothers in the house, listen to good 22:08 - Senior Haus - We have an 20:00 with water all evening, because the 20:00 - 'EAsT camPUS - Since music and relax. We don't hate, nor extensive collection of sarongs and 10:00 safety office won't let us play with fire when is "agently" a word? discriminate, so tell all your friends to shot glasses. 10:00 - Senior HallS - Moose hunt! We're driving to Maine, and we're not anymore. Irene says "nUdity is encour- 20:00 - Bexxxley - Be)()Q(leytours!!! come and enjoy what we like to call aged." home. 23:00 coming back until we see a moose, Come tour the hottest dorm on-cam- pus. We will let you take a look ~. our 19:00 - Bexxxley - Come join us 23:00 - EAsT camPUS - Four years dammitl 18:00 state of the art facilities, such as our for steak and lobster. you will not only from now you'll regret that. Don't do it. 10:17 - Random Hall - luckily it's a 18:25 - Senior Haus - "You mean full size excercise/weight room, multi- have a taste of scrumptious steak and nice stretchy bungee cord you'll put down your rock, and I'll put media center, and even our very own succulent lobster, but you will also *bounce*bounce*bounce* hmm let's down my sword, and we'll try to kill hear about fun social events like our . Wednesday, August 27 count in binary! 110 11100 101101.' olympic size pooll!! Yoa' h e each other like ciVilized people?" annual mixer with Simmons Hall, and 110 111 *bounce*bounce*bounce* a dip in it if you like. our spring semi-formal. 01:00 mmmmmm purple ketchup and liq- 20:18 - Senior Haus - 19:07 - Baker House - Baker. Have 01:00 - Senior Haus - French peo- uid nitrogen 1000 1010 ... how 19:00 oh...mommy ... it your way. ple smoke a lot. So do we. More free come they let us have entries today 19:00 - Simmons Hall - Crepe 19:26 - Senior Haus - Dinner. cigarettes. but not last Friday? Bake! Come join us for scrumptious 21:00 Some of our residents are cooking 01:44 - Senior Haus - Make every thin pancakes in the 6th floor lounge 21:00 - senior Haus - Watermelon whatever the hell they want. bedroom window an instant fire 11:00 of Simmons. We'll have everything Man Screening - If you're considering 19:27 - Senior Haus - Come to escape! Jump out your window while 11:57 - Baker House - Oh no. Oh from chocolate to baked apple crepes living at Senior Haus, this, uh, film will Senior Haus and have sex with one, we set your room in flames! no. Oh no! Oh YEAH! Baker. all for your eating pleasure! Be sure to give you a feel for the Haus culture, two, or all three of our rush chairs. visit Simmons and enjoy some free back before Senior Haus got painted VegetarianjVegan (Emma) options and 02:00 12:00 food! lavender by The Man. 21:00 - Random Hall- If you made condoms always provided. 02:00 - Baker House - On Tuesday, 12:00 - Senior Haus - Everyone 19:00 - Burton-Conner - The it into Random Hall, show up in our 20:00 August 19, Tom jumped off the Har- want the Chalk. Come on and get your results are in.... did you get Burton- Main Lounge for the in-house rooming 20:00 - Simmons Hall - The Great vard bridge. You missed it. Chalk. Chalk! From Whamo! Conner? If so, head on over here to lottery. You'll get your permanent room, meet your new dormmates, and see the -man who *really* runs things in this dorm. 21:11 - EAsT camPUS - The Rev- erend Prez still does not live here. We win. 21:32 - Senior Haus - Add some mystery to your life. Rnd out what's for dinner. 21:37 - Senior Haus - Word on the street is that Jack the Ripper is back in town. 22:00 22:00 - EAsT camPUS - You'll rue the day you didn't move to EC. Rue the day!!! 22:01 - Senior Haus - Seriously, I was walking down NeWbury St. and some homeless guy came up to me and started yelling about Jack the RiJr per. 22:03 - Senior Haus - Maybe because I was wearing a t-shirt saying that Jack the Ripper is back in town. 22:15 - Baker House - Baker satis- fies. 23:00 23:10 - senior Haus - Oh you think you're hardcore? Not after the Ross Lippert Memorial Alumni Story Hour. The Haus was sooo hardcore before it was painted lavender by the Man. 23:27 - Senior Haus - Death with- out style is no death at all. 23:28 - Senior HaIlS - Tired of always getting the same old boring infections from the same old boring people? Come on over for an ample dose of yer most potent and bizarre diseases, from your favorite disease ridden filth-bags. Bring your ownl Plus free cigarettes. August 24, 2003 THE TECH Page 7 Freshmen Bond with Leaders books. com Orientation, from Page 1 from Dr. Seuss: "And will you suc- gle. "Dinner always opens up peo- n Independent Technical Bookstore ceed? Yes! You will, indeed! Nine- ple's minds," said Orientation one activity, four freshmen were ty-eight and three-quarters percent leader Walter C. Lin '06. ''Free food called on stage to participate in an guaranteed. " makes people happy, and when discount prices everyday with MIT ID obstacle course after spinning they're happy they ta!k." around seven times. In another Orientation groups meet The leaders then led the fresh- activity, freshmen performed unusu- Following the opening cere- men to Playfair in Johnson. Other 350/0 on Microsoft Press al acts, such as cartwheels, spinning monies, the freshmen broke into activities include a showing of Gold- 20% plus buy 5 get 1 free on O'Reilly books, and tying cherry stems in Orientation groups. Some Orienta- eneye at Kresge Auditorium and the 10-20% off most other publishers knots with their tongues, to earn tion leaders led their groups through Play Unfair party at Next House. Klondike bars. For his Klondike various ice-breakers, such as the bar, David W. Rush '07 impersonat- Name Game, the Human Knot, Ride Upcoming Orientation activities (inclUding 100/0 off special orders on advanced level ed Gollum from Lord of the Rings. the Pony, Red Rover, and Two Orientation leaders and freshmen books not discounted elsewhere) For his efforts, Rush received a Truths and a Lie. Other leaders sim- alike said they looked forward to standing ovation. ply dispensed advice and encour- other Orientation activities. "I'm "I liked the Klondike bar part," aged the freshmen to talk to each excited about City Days," Dehoyos said Cathlene M. Allard '07. other. said. It's always amazing to see MIT discounts on many textbooks "Everything's been creative and Laura C. Harris '07 said that pull together 600 people to do com- interesting so far." Two Truths and a Lie helped her munity service. It's incredibly fun "learn a lot of really random things when you're doing community ser- Benedict offers 'thrival' tips about people." vice with 10 or 20 people you nlvthe Seeking guidance for their mis- ''The icebreaker I'm always most know." sion, the Orientation coordinators excited about is the name game, Orientation leader Jennifer L. called Larry G. Benedict, the since it helps you get to know Fecanin '05 said, "The time I think MITCoophas ''Numero Uno," also known as the everyone's name," said Orientation is best is when we're talking. When Dean for Student Life, for help. He leader Amado G. Dehoyos '04. we make the freshmen comfortable, offered the audience "Three Little Others noted that their Orienta- they ~an ask honest questions, Tips for Survival and Thrival at tion groups were less open. which is the most useful." MIT," which included living a bal- "We're still a bit shy," said Hana Of her MIT experience so far, I anced life, reaching out and con- L. Adaniya '07. Crystle J. Kelly '07 said, "It's awe- necting with someone older, and The icebreakers were followed some - I think it's 'gorgeous, peo- getting enough sleep. by a barbecue, which allowed fresh- ple are friendly, and this whole Benedict ended with a quote men and orientation leaders to min- place is interesting." lor ITCourses. ASA Rush Rules Solution to Crossword from page 11 Candllle71I1u"hem The following Rush Rules have been established by the Association of Student Activities to balance the exposure of incoming students to the demands of new academics, dormitories, and student life at MIT. lIaclllllhen ,lIu"e These rules are in place to facilitate transition time for new students into life at MIT without inundation by too many new opportunities. All ASA-recognized groups are mandated to follow these rules. IhlllUllh ,"em]! The 2003 Rush Rules apply from 12:01 a.m. on Friday, Aug. 15 lIIi'" through the beginning of the ASA Activities Midway at 4:00 p.m. on lIUJIng used III1b lessavesIIU25% If III price If n WI Friday, Aug. 29. This period is referred to as the "Recruiting Morato- rium Period." . Inside the Recruiting Moratorium Period, ASA-recognized groups and/ot members of ASA-recognized groups may not: .'' 1. Actively collect any information from new students. 2. Hold any recruiting events of any sort. . 3. ~lace advertisements of any kind anywhere that include recruit- • -Wg aJl~gq,... -" ""',..,,..e.-.:"i~ ....;t""t""""'\th." It,' -n't ...... '.!'"'HO f"\C' ""r" 1" "M n '1""\ The ASA Executive Board reserves the rigbt to broadly interpret the definitions of "recruiting events" and "recruiting language" on a case-by-case basis. Exemptions to these exclusions may be sought bye-mailing the ASA Executive. Board at [email protected] at least one week before , the date the exception is needed. In general, activities and po stings associated with the Undergraduate Orientation or Graduate Student Council Orientation'programs are automatically exempt. However, the ASA Executive Board reserves the right to request a formal letter from the Undergraduate Orientation Committee or the GSC Orientation Committee to verify the legitimacy of a group's claim of affiliation. Within the Recruiting Moratorium Period, ASA-recognized groups may advertise general events and/or events to be held after the H you are: ReCruiting Moratorium Period, provided these advertisements do not violate the stipulations of the Rush R~es. • a logical problem solver • seeking relevant work experience The following means of advertisement are acceptable within ~e • patient, friendly, motivated to help • eager to learn in a team setting Recruiting Moratorium Period: 1. Use of the student group's bulletin board (if this resource has • good at explaining technical topics • seeking a starting rate of $12.50/hr been granted). 2. Advertisements/coverage in regular campus publications. 3. Web sites. Come meet us at our information session: 4. Flyers distributed around campus (where "distributing" is dis- tinct from posting). 5. Posters placed on MIT public bulletin boards. Any other method of advertising must be cleared in advance with Mlf Computing Help Desk the ASA Executive Board bye-mailing [email protected]. In general, ASA posting rules continue to apply through the Info Session Recruitment Moratorium Period. However, fines will be automatically tripled for violations occurring within the Recruitment Moratorium Period. Thursday, September 4th, 2003 The ASA Executive Board will interpret the Rush Rules and act on violations of them. Violations may come to the attention of the Board via regular ASA policing activities or through formal complaints e- 6:15 - 6:46 pm mailed to [email protected] by MIT community members. The Board will consider each case, and if necessary, impose upon the group N42 Demo Center found to be in violation of the Rush Rules the appropriate penalty or 211Mass Ave, across from NECCO/Novartie set of penalties from the following list of punishments: Warning Monetary fine Mandatory Community Service Barring from participation in 2004 First Year Summer Mailing Attendance at the session is required for all (FYSM) Loss of ASA Activities Midway space applicants. Candidates should also submit a Loss of bulletin board space resume by noon on September 4th to: Loss of office/locker space Suspension from event/room registration privileges for specified [email protected] duration Group suspension Group de-recognition If more serious punishments than those listed are required, the ASA Executive Board reserves the right to involve the Undergraduate Association, GSC, the Student Life Programs office, and/or other rele- vant MIT entities. htt ://web.mit.edu/hel desk/hirin .html Decisions by the ASA Executive Board affecting time-sensitive privileges are fmal. Non-time-sensitive decisions may be appealed through the regular process outlined in the ASA Constitution. SOURCE: ASSOClA TION OF STUDENT ACTWlTIES Page 8 THE TECH August 24, 2003 FEATURES Ask SIPB STUDENT INFORMATION PROCESSING BOARD each time you reboot. Typical servers students run include Pacific, Simmons Hall, and The Warehouse all have official Want to get network access in your dormitory? Interested web servers and FTP ervers. In addition, if you configure liS-deployed wireless service, and Bexley Hall and East in setting up a server? In this column, part 2 of 6 in our intro- your machine properly, you can also set up remote access Campus will have wireless service deployed during this ductory orientation columns, we cover residential computing through various other protocols. While these things are still school year. Other dormitories may have wireless access and getting connected to the network all possible without a static IP address, you will not have a points set up by residents, though these are not officially sup- consistent hostname or IP address you can use to access your ported. Signing up for this service is easy, and detailed Question: Should I set up my computer now? machine. instructions are available at http://web.init.edu/islhelp/wire- Answer: If you are an undergrad, in general, it is best if To connect your computer to the network with a static IP less/. After you perform the necessary steps, wait about 15 you do not set up your personal computer right away. Unless address, follow the instructions you receive when you request minutes before these changes take effect. you live in McCormick, which has forced room squatting, the IF address. You can request the address either at a "Get- If you are a faculty or staff member, or a student with a you may be moving to either another dormitory, or at least ting Connected" meeting (see below), or through the RCC static IF address, you may also choose to receive your static another room. web page at http://rcc.mit.edul. IP address via DHCP while using the wireless network on If you need to use a computer, your home subnet, typically your dorm. To do so, follow the there are always the Athena clusters Orientation Ask Question: What is DHC.p, and how step-by-step instructions in the October 4, 2002 Ask SIPB easily accessible all over campus. SIPB Columns do I configure my computer to use it? column at our Web site at http://www.mit.edu/-aslcsipb/. Once you move to your room for the Answer: DHCP is the Dynamic fall term on Thursday, feel free to go Friday: Computing Help and Host Configuration Protocol, which Question: How can I find more information about a ahead and set up your computer. Resources allows your computer to automatical- machine? When you do finally set up your ly obtain an IF address and associated Answer: To get more information about a machine, computer, if it is running any version Today: Connecting to the information. If you are not running a including its IP address, aliases it has, and its owner, you can of Windows, please IMMEDIATELY Network web server, and do not need a static use type 5 tell a ma chi n e n am e at an Athena prompt. internet protocol address for any other You can see the name of any public machine at the top of the apply the appropriate patches. Because Tomorrow: Using Athena and Unix of a recently exploited vulnerability, reason, we recommend using DHCP login screen. unpatched Windows systems may be Tuesday: Mail and Mailing Lists as it.is the most flexible and easy to compromised very quickly, before set up. Most computers are set to use Question: Where can I get more help with networking and Wednesday: they have a chance to get patched. To Zephyr DHCP by default. getting my computer configured properly? work around this, you should follow Thursday: Kerberos and AFS To use DHCP to connect to the Answer: Each dormitory has student Residential Comput- the directions at network, configure your computer to er Consultants who can assist you with network problems. http://web.mit.edu/rescomp/www/MITNet-DHCPpdf to block use DHCP by following the instructions at The RCCs can help you configure your computer's network incoming connections to your computer, before plugging it in http://web.mit.edu/islhelp/dhcp/dhcpstud.html. These are typi- settings, provide you with a network cable, assist with broken to the network. cally the default settings, so if you have not changed any- network drops, assign you a hostname and IF address, and If you do not follow these instructions, your computer's thing, you probably do not need to do anything. Then, simply help with other network-related problems. To submit a security will likely become compromised, and Network Secu- open up a web browser, and complete the registration that request, visit http://rcc.mit.edu/. rity will turn off your network drop and/or disable your appears automatically. In addition, the RCCs will be running "Getting Connect- DHCP access. In such cases, you must reformat your hard If you have a laptop, it is possible to -configure your com- ed" meetings throughout orientation, in which you can learn drive and reinstall the operating system. For more informa- puter to obtain your static IP address via DHCP when you are more about these topics and others. The schedule for these tion, see http://web.mit.edu/net-security/windows.html. on your home subnet, typically your dormitory, and to obtain meetings is: Running Windows Update is always a good idea, though it a random address while you are elsewhere. If you would like is especially important now because of a recently discovered to configure your laptop in this way, visit the registration page Monday, Aug. 25, 10-1 Ia.m., 4-370 vulnerability. Also ensure that you have a non-trivial Admin- at http://nic.mit.edu/dhreg/ from the computer you wish to Tuesday, Aug. 26, lo-lla.m., 1-190 istrator password, as your system can otherwise be remotely register. The computer should be on your home subnet at this Wednesday, Aug. 27, lo-Ila.m., 1-190 broken into. To learn more about what makes a non-trivial time, and using its static IP address. Thursday, Aug. 28, 3-4p.m., 4-370 password, visit http://www.mi!. edu/afs/sipb/project/doc/pass- Friday, Aug. 29, 3-4p.m., 4-370 words/passwords.html. Question: How can I use the wireless network at MIT? Answer: Most non-residential MIT buildings now have To ask us a question, send e-mail to [email protected]. We'll Question: What is a static IP address good for? wireless network access. You can find a list of wireless- try to answer you quickly, and we might address your ques- Answer: A static IP address is useful if you wish to set up enabled locations at http://web.mit.edu/network/wireless-Ioca- tion in our next column. Copies of each column and pointers your own server, like a web server, as it means your machine tions.html. Furthermore, wireless is gradually being deployed to additional information will be posted on our Web site always has the same IP address, instead of getting a new one in many dormitories. Baker House, Senior House, Sidney- http://www.mit.edu/-asksipbl. IFC Rush Rules These rules are established to support aJI fraternities in recruitment activities, and to pro- tect the rushees and prospective students in all activities pertaining to Rush and/or Recruit- ment. ART CLE I: General Preamble - With the understanding that recruitment will occur year round, the IFC has developed the following rules that are effective year-round. 1. General A. All recruitment events are dry. B. All MIT Rules governing provision and consumption of alcohol apply at all times. C. Fraternities may address complaints through the IFe Judicial Committee. D. All recruitment events and paraphernalia must be in good taste. E. No Fraternity member shall badmouth another living group. This includes, but is not limited to, members of the lFe, the Panhellenic Association, and the Living Group Council. F. No Fraternity apparel may be given to a rushee until a bid is accepted. Loaning such articles for the purpose of comfort (warmth, dryness) is acceptable. Also acceptable is the temporary loaning of such articles during participation in an intramural sport event. However, these articles may not be worn to another Fraternity. G. 0 Fraternity shall contact a prospective member who has previously expressed that he/she does not wish to be contacted H. All events in the dormitories must follow the outlines and rules described by the IFC Recruitment Chair. ARTICLE n: Pre-Rusb The purpose of Pre-Rush actions and activities is to convince high school applicants to attend MIT, promote the Fraternity system, and aid Admissions and other MIT offices in their goals with regards to pre-freshmen applicants, admitted students, and/or special pro- ARTICLE V: IntroductioD to Enforcement grams. The }FC Recruitment Chair is responsible for taking steps to ensure incoming students are 1. A. Fraternity members must obey the rules of the MIT Admissions Office while contacting aware that these rules exist including preparing and distributing a "Rbshee Bill of Rights." any prospective or admitted students at any time. These rules apply to all who are members of the MIT Interfraternity Council (IFC). Any: B. If a visiting pre-frosh wishes to change housing assignments at any time, he/she must action taken by a Fraternity to the detriment of a rushee, prospective student, or of another be directed to make changes through the Admissions Office. Members of a Fraternity shall Fraternity, shall be deemed a violation. All violations of these rules shall be immediately not take direct actions toward helping a pre-frosh make housing changes. referred to the IFC Judicial Committee Chair for proceedings. Any information concerning C. All events held during Campus Preview Weekend must be dry. alleged rush violations must be given to the IFC Recruitment Chair or any IFC Judicial Com- mittee Risk Management Consultant upon request. Violators shall be subject to any and all ARTICLE ill:Orientation fines, sanctions, and punishments deemed necessary by the IFC Judicial Committee. Any The purpose of Orientation rules is to prevent any house from having an unreasonable questions regarding the interpretation of these rules must be submitted to the IFC Recruit- advantage preceding the start of Rush itself and to encourage new freshmen to actively partic- ment Chair for clarification. The !FC Judicial Committee Chair shall be the arbiter of taste ipate in the orientation programming. Orientation rules apply from the beginning of the first and responsible for enforcing a reasonable defmition of badmouthing. 1n addition, the !FC pre-orientation program (August 17, 2003), until the end of the City Days orientation event, Judicial Committee shall be the final interpreter of all Recruitment Rules. If the Fraternity of (August 29,2003). the Judicial Committee Chair is involved, the complaint is to be referred immediately to the 1. Orientation Guidelines: next highest official in the !FC whose Fraternity is not involved, following this line of seniori- A. All orientation leaders tpust abide by MIT orientation rules and regulations. ty: B. 0 Fraternity shall hold house events open to non-members during this time. • IFC Recruitment Chair C. 0 Fraternity hall overnight a freshman during this time. • IFC President • IFC Vice President TICLE IV: Ru h eek .IFCSecretary The purpose of Rush Week is to allow new students the time to find a Fraternity most • IFC Treasurer compatible with their own interests, and for Fraternities to :find members for themselves. Rush SOURCE: INTERFRATER.NJTY COUNCIL August 24, 2003 FEATURES THE TECH Page9 The Engineer's Guide to Romance UAQ&A An Orientation Dating Guide The UA answers your ByD.M. forgetting someone's name when they remem- freshman year off with a bang, not with the questionsaboutunde~ ber yours. If you fail, have them introduce clap. If you're not going to wait a while, at Welcome, freshmen! Let me guess, you just themselves to your friend. You'll have another least be smart about it. Free condoms are graduate issues got to MIT and you're looking for a hook-up. chance to learn their name. everywhere. The only problem is you don't know what the 6. Don't be sketchy. There's a thin line 14. Don't sell yourself short. Remember By Harel WIlliams hell you're doing. between friendly and too close for comfort. that there is always someone smarter, funnier, and Rose Grabowski Column Well, that's why I'm There's also a thin line between being drunk and better looking - at another college in the VA SENATORS here to help you. If and giving consent, but I won't get into that. area. Dear UA, you want to get anywhere with anyone during Wait, maybe Ialready did. 15. Don't stalk people. That's just plain What is the UA? Ugly A-holes? Underwa- orientation, follow this guide: 7. Young ladies, know this: you not only scary. Following people around campus will ter Angioplasty? Uganda s Ampere? 1. Personal hygiene goes a long way. You'd have freshmen guys seeking you out, but get you slapped with a restraining order. -Acronyms Suck think that people would've learned this in upperclassmen as well. 16. Don't be afraid to defy typical gender UA stands for Undergraduate Association, health class, but it's amazing how many peo- 8. Young men, know this: you don't have roles. After all, this is the 21st century. of which aU 4,000 plus undergraduates are ple can just plain forget when they're coding older women checking you out. However, 17. Be open-minded. You're meeting peo- automatically members. It has a huge number for 72 hours straight. Wellesley, an all-female college, is a short ple from different backgrounds, races, cul- of committees that work on specific issues for 2. Be friendly. Initiat'ing conversation is Senate Bus ride away (to find a date). tures, and countries. Be mindful of their cul- undergraduates as well as a legislative body half the battle. Everyone here is just as clue- 9. Don't be desperate. Asking a guy out tural sensitivities. Like Jet Li in Fist of that directs policy and advocates for students. less, lost, and eager to meet people as you are. isn't desperate. Asking him to sleep with you Legend, if you are able to be fluid and adapt, Oh yeah, and by being a member of the UA Go ahead and introduce yourself. That applies is. you will always be the victor. you are automatically super cool, so pat your- equally to both men and women. 10. Tower Court is a big party at Wellesley 18. I'd like to think that it's a bad idea to self on the back. 3. Be interesting. If initiating conversation on Labor Day at night. Men and women are ask people out over e-mail, but I guess that's is half the battle, then maintaining it is the welcome to try their luck. Any fraternity will the only way some people can communicate. Dear UA, second half. If your life is as bland and boring probably take you. 19. Always be ready to make a good and I did student government in high school as Al Gore's personality, go to #4. 11. Under no circumstances should anyone lasting first impression. People are not going and it was a bunch of bull crap. I mean, plan- 4. Ask questions. If I've learned nothing in the incoming class of Wellesley students be to remember everything about you. They will ning lame school dances gets old after a else, I at least know this: people like to talk called a freshman. Refer to them as "first- remember the stupid thing that you said or did while. Is that all that MIT student government about themselves. A lot. Be inquisitive and get years." when they first met you. does? If yes, then I gotta warn you, I've to know what this person is really like. 12. Bragging about your S.A.T., AP, or 20. Give people a chance. They might sur- already hung up my helium-balloon-tying hat s. Don't forget names. There is no bigger EE.E. scores will not make people like you. prise you. You might even surprise yourself. and dancing-in-the-cafeteria shoes. insult. Well, I guess calling them fat, ugly, and 13. Take it slow. You've got four years at All you need now is a little bit of confidence. treamers up the Wazoo stupid could be worse. Just don't get caught MIT to contract YD. You want to start your Go out there and show them who you are. No,. that is NOT all that the VA does. • Although there are formals and semi-formals put on every year for the students, the VA does much more. They give money to student Ask Nutty B groups, advocate for student issues to admin- istrators and faculty, and provide many other By Bruce Wu avoid the fine. I really can't tell you what to Dear Stephanie, services that undergraduates benefit from take since I have no idea what your interests My first advice for you would be to stop every year. And we periodically give out free Nutty B is currently a graduate student at are. I mean, if you want to be a future presi- watching movies and snap out of your Legally food, which, of course, is by far its most MIT, and this is his first attempt ever at writ- dent like Mr. Clinton, I'd definitely recom- Blonde image of college life. What did you important duty. ing an advice column (tha( he stands behind). mend a class in office morals and ethics. expect? A 600 square-foot room with beauti- ~~~~~~~~ Please e-mail him At any rate, since you are "eager," as you ful hardwood floors all to yourself? Did you Dear UA, flol with whatever ques- say, why don't you take them all? It's not like bring your puppy here too? As for having a Sometimes I feel powerless to change lJl umn tion you would like you need to sleep at MIT anyway! roommate who is from the other side of the things. For example, there s no Al steak sauce someone to listen to, By the way, have you try basket-weaving continent, what's the problem again? on campus. How can I rectify this atrocity? hnd help him have an excuse to procrastinate at Harvard or facial care at Wellesley? Look While living with someone may be some- -Boldless in Seattle at 3:00 a.m. Please send all questions to into those fun classes at our neighbor schools thing to get used to, it has its advantages. You We feel your pain. The UA Committee on [email protected]. and cross-register! You will meet more peo- know, perhaps this sleep-walking, snoring-all- Student Life is involved in a lot of issues like ple and can 'escape your heUi~h undergrad night,' and showering-once.:a-week person in this, anet even' has a subcommittee to address Dear Nutty B, life here. your room will be someone that helps you them - the subcommittee on dining. You can ~ The semester is about to start, but I still complete (or copy) your assignment quickly check out this as well as a plethora of other UA have no clue about what classes I should take. Dear Nutty B, when school starts! committees and hot and steamy UA committee I picked something already, but I'm not sure if I just moved into my room in my dorm to Also, this roommate you have may become chairs at the UA Open House on August 31, I'll like it. 'Do you have any suggestions, as in start my first year here. It s so small compared your best friend and even your bridesmaid. 2:30 - 4:30 p.m., in W20-491. what classes an eager undergrad should to those college rooms they show in the Even if this doesn't happen, it would still be take? movies! Also, I've never had someone living in great for you to learn to get along with new Dear UA, - Nervous about school the same room with me before. Now I have a people and not end up killing them. Or being Why are you writing this column? Are you _ roommate who is from the other end of the killed, for that matter. wannabe SIPB members or something? Dear Nervous, I continent. While I am excited, I'm not really Therefore, the only thing you should do is -Dazed and Confuzed . I wish I knew that answer myself! I, too, comfortable with this new living arrangement. be nice to this new roomie of yours, or else "Ask SlPB" is a great column that is writ- picked a few classes months before the regis- What should I do? she will be sending me questions asking me ten to give more information about computing tration deadline with no other intent than to -Stephanie how to murder you! at MIT. UA Q&A is intended to be more of a _----""!"""------~------~------___,sounding board for students to ask questions • about MIT and undergraduate life. The UA is a resource for all undergraduates, and we want to help you get to know the campus bet- We need someone ter - and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Got More Questions? E-mail withthe confidence [email protected] with your quizzicality. ofa~n, the dedication of a marathoner and the COlJ11lge of anexplorer. We have a unique opportu- maybe a teacher, a mechanic, sounds interesting to you, 1A'E IHEiJ nity for someone very special. or a recent college graduate. maybe you're the person we're tAll A Frs. A chance to spend two We need someone to join IAIEA tAB. looking for. A Peace Corps STAID. years in another country. To live over 5,000 people already volunteer. Find out. Call us at and work in another culture. To working in 60 developing coun- learn a new language and acquire tries around the world. To help .(Collect) 617-~5-5555 x598 new skills. people live better lives. The person we're looking We need someone special. for might be a farmer, a for- And we ask a lot. But only be- Peace Corps. ester, or a retired nurse. Or cause so much is needed. If this The toughest job youll au love. fRIENDS DON'T lEl fRIENDS ORIVf DRUNK. This space donated by The Tech ~ u.s. 0lJpIr1nMrIl of TrnpartlIlion The August 24, Tech 2003 Page 10 fiRST, You NEED TO KNOW -mE. BUILOI G N elc. ALL THE EVEN BU'LDItH~S M?E ON THE FAR SlOE OF SLOG. to- nlE ONE WITH TilE DOME.. TWE 01lI" ~E W,Tij"THE DoM~. - AND ALL THE IIDD 0 ES N?E ON P.US SIDE. EXCEPT SLOb 5715 ow ===~-..51 AND BuILD'"' *"19 IS IN $O~tIlVILLE. (GooDSlVR:"....CJI!»!) wow, EAST ~s STREET - Dilbert@ by Scott Adams NOW I'D LIKE TO I'M EXHAUSTED. 1 'I)M TIRED. THANKS, BUT I'VE I'M TRYING TO FIRE CAN 1 RECOGNIZE LJALTER 1 FEEL A FIRED THE COWBOY. . BUT IT'S BEEN HERE FOR A GUY WHO HAS DO THE FOR HIS FIVE YEARS THIRTY YEARS ... SICK DAY MULTIPLE PERSON- THE LITTLE GIRL, AND A GQOD COMING ON. THE ASTRONAUT THIS TIRED. MIME? OF WORK FOR THIS OH I I GET IT NOW. ALITIES. COMPANY. MORNING. I'LL DO THE TWINS LATER THIS E AFTERNOON. o u t: ~ '-- __ ~....IO--""- 1'__...;;m._;;:~ ___.. E i AFTER MONTHS OF LJHAT IS THE ~~.NAME Ql::!.f THING THAT ~ IF IT'S ONE MINUTE EVERYONE RATED WORK. I FINISHED OUR PRIORITY OF ¥ EVERYONE WOULD AGREE @ LATE, WE'LL BE DIS- THEIR OWN BUDGET BID FOR THE HUGE YOUR BUDGET IS A ~ PRIORITY. E QUALIFIED. THE FUTURE NEEDS "HIGHEST ! GALATIKUS PROJECT. REQUEST? PRIORITY: IT IS ... OF OUR COMPANY A MOCKERY OF THE I i DEPENDS ON US WIN- HIGHEST WHATEVER NING THIS BID. PRIORITY SYSTEM! YOU'RE DOING, OF THE ~ HIGH. o o ) ) ..o OUR LEGAL DEPARTMENT ~ E ~ DO YOU HAVE AND YOU FAILED AT ~ THAT'S BECAUSE YOU ADVISES US TO DESTROY ROOM IN THERE YOUR PRIMARY : SAID YOU'D DELIVER ANY DOCUMENTS THAT 1 CAN'T BELIEVE FOR THE USER OBJECTIVE OF WIN- ~ THE BID ON TIME. BUT SHOW WE KNOW OUR YOU'RE TRYING SPECIFICATIONS? NING A BID FOR THE i YOU GOT SEDUCED BY PRODUCTS ARE HUGELY TO PIN THE BLAME GALATIKUS JOB. i IRISH LINE-DANCING ON THE IRISH. DEFECTIVE. LESSONS AND FORGOT E TO MAIL IT! 8 i i ~------_..... _-...... E _-~--- ALICE, THIS YEAR YOU & FOR THAT ACCOMPLISH- ~ ~ ALICE I IF HAVING HIGH SOMEONE TURNED SINGLE-HANDEDLY ~ MENT 11 GIVE YOU EXPECTATIONS OF YOU OFF THE SPAM DESIGNED AND LAUNCHED 1 THE HIGHLY COVETED IS WRONG I THEN 1 FIL TER. A BILLION DOLLAR j "MEETS EXPECTATIONS" DONT LJANT TO BE i){~~fRJ fi~ LINE OF NEW PRODUCTS, U DESIGNATION! RIGHT, ~~~oo E ! o 8 u t: t: ~ ~ i L---L:::E:::::::~:::IiL..- __ ~loo.o....I.--' '------_ ..... __ ...... --...... --- E WE CAN EITHER LJAIT ~ OR WE CAN SOAR LIKE LATELY. EVERY PERSON ~ EVERY MEETING STARTS ~ I GUESS WHAT I'M THREE MONTHS FOR THE : EAGLES I AND ACT I DEAL WITH SEEMS TO ! LATE, EVERY ANSWER ~ SAYING IS THAT TODAY SOFTWARE COMMITTEE ~ WITHOUT APPROVAL, DISAPPOINT ME. ~ IS MISLEADING. EVERY !I NEED SOME EMPATHY. TO APPROVE OUR PLAN.,. ~ SAVING MILLIONS ~ DEADLINE IS IGNORED I OF DOLLARSI i AND ALL WORK IS YOU ARE i SHODDILY DONE. TOTALLY BLOCKING ~ MY VIEW OF ~ THE WALL. o "- THE MAN WHO COULDN'T ~ ALICE, 1 NOTICE OBVIOUSLY YOU'VE ~ AND LJHY GIVE DIRECT ANSWERS 1 NOW 1 WILL LET'S 8 FIRST, THAT YOU ALLJAYS BEEN USING COM- S DOES THAT LEAVE ME I------i E EXPLAIN THE PANY TIME TO LOOK SEEM SO PROCESS FOR YOU ASK CLICK SOMETHING ! OUT OF DID YOU ASK YOUR ... FOR A WHEN 1 APPROACH. AT INDESCRIBABLY OBVIOUS THIS. BOSS FOR APPROVAL? GETTING FILTHY IMAGES. TO YOU? i APPROVAL. MEETING. E o u ~ \ t: ~ ~ • a f--IIIL:]I;~-~ p....---fj ~ L.-_.....l ...... &W ... "I..-'""""'--"i '-----"- ...... """-""'---- • August 24, 2003 The Tech Page 11 - Mil lechCash Locations FoxTrot by Bill Amend Dining Walker Memorial Arrow Street Crepes LaVerde's Market ~Y, AT LEAST 61'« SURE, IT WAS A TAD BUT ~L Y E'iEN ouR 6ARIAGE DISPoSAL Pritchett Building 4 Cafe Next House MY HoMEMAD£ WIN( FOAMY. SURE. IT HAD YOU WOULD IS I\IOW ORA~ BETTER A UTTU cREDIT. THAT AWFul. SMELl.. AGR£E... THAN EVER. Dome Cafe Kosher Kitchen McCormick I SUR£, IT HAD THoS€ I I Bio Cafe ~8L08S. Bosworth's (Lobby 7) Baker House ....J Alpine Bagels Dominos Pizza Simmons Hall Other MIT Press Bookstore New Tech Barbers Dormitory Laundry Quantum Books Passport (70 Pacific St.) CopyTech This space donated by The Tech ACROSS instrumental DOWN writer 1 General reference composition 1 Fortified vehicle 29 _ Perry Awards book 37 Sorenstam of the 2 Ignore 30 Sincere warmth 8 Takeoffs LPGA 3 Interventions 32 Freshwater food 15 Vote in an 38 Carpentry tools 4 Choice woods for fish incumbent 39 ""'_ gloom of carvers 33 Carnivores' 16 Get the lead out! night..." 5 Requires mouths 17 Red dye plants 40 Observe again 6 Height: pref. 35 Prevarications 18 Missouri tribe 41 Writes a scathing 7 Percentages of a $ 36 Isn't able to 19 City in northern review 8 Formed 38 Spoke Spain 42 Isle of Man man 9 Invisible 41 Breathed in short 20 Electronic junk 43 Gibraltar passage emanations gasps mail 45 Singer Lopez 10 Sailboats with 42 Atlanta ballplayers 21 _ compos mentis 46 Natl. TV network three hulls 44 Employ again • 22 Raises 49 Tear apart 11 Irritate 45 Clan 23 Teeter-totter 50 Cowardly 12 Strikeout ace 46 Helpful hints 25 Consumes 51 Settle through Nolan 47 Concoct 26 Ran in the wash compromise 13 Continental prefix 48 Coke or Pepsi 27 Indian prince 53 Credulity 14 Extend across 50 Ring on the 31 Half of MCII 54 Rid of parasites 20 Burpee kernel telephone 32 Full wheelbarrow 55 Camus and Finney 23 Venetian blind strip 52 _ on your life! 33 Karl or Moses 56 Slapped 24 Kelly or Whitman 53 Put a collar on 34 Dry ice, e.g. 57 Sanctifies 26 fide 36 Choral and 28 "Enter Talking" Events Calendar appears in each issue of The Tech and features events for members of the MIT community. The Tech makes no guarantees as to the accuracy of this information, and The Tech shall not be held liable for any loss- es, including, but not limited to, damages reSUlting from attendance of an event. -Events Calendar Contact information for all events is available from the Events Calendar web page. Visit anil adcfeventi 'to~ventS Calendar online at htfp:/ !evenfs.mlt.edu Sunday, August 24 highly entertaining and sends shivers down many a graduate free. Room: ~120. Sponsor: Information Center. student's spine because it is too true, this is exactly how I 2:00 p.m. - 3:30 p.m. - Cultural Panel. Panels of students from 7:00 a.m. - Class of 2007 Undergraduate Orientation. You are felt/feel. free. Room: Mezzanine Lounge, Student Center. across the globe to discuss specific issues. free. Room: Mezza- about to embark on what may be the most interesting, challeng- Sponsor: GSC Orientation. nine Lounge. Sponsor: GSC Orientation. ing, and entertaining years of your lives - your undergraduate 10:00 a.m. - 10:45 a.m. - Admissions Offtce Infonnatlon ses- 2:45 p.m. - Campus Tour. free. Room: ~120. Sponsor: Infor- career at MIT. For some of you, it may be your first time away sion. Admissions Office Information Session is held in Building mation Center. from home, so you may be apprehensive about the change. For 6, in Room ~120.Enter MIT at the main entrance, 77 Massa- 3:30 p.m. - 4:00 p.m. - Tea Break. Yummy Refreshments! free. others, you may be exploring yet another new frontier. Regard- chusetts Ave. (domed building with tall pillars). Proceed all the Room: Mezzanine Floor. Sponsor: GSC Orientation. less of your thoughts about heading off to MIT, you will all have way down the center corridor to the very end and take a right. 4:00 p.m. - 5:30 p.m. - Navigating Between an Academic and opportunities to explore your options, seek out new challenges, Proceed a short distance down this next corridor and room ~ Non-Academic Career. Professional Development Series: Rfth tackle new problems, research possibilities, and meet new peo- 120 will be on the right. Following the Admissions Information lecture in the Academic Careers Series focusing on careers in ple. Your first order of business - exploring Orientation 2003! Session is a student led campus tour which begins in Building academia, industry, and moving between the two areas. free. Room: Check Orientation 2003 Web site for details. Sponsor: 6, outside Room ~120. Groups over 15 people need to make Room: 10-250. Sponsor: GSC Seminars. Academic Resource Center. special reservations. free. Room: Room ~120. Sponsor: Infor- 4:00 p.m. - 5:30 p.m. - Emergency Procedures: What to Do 7:00 a.m. - Graduate Student Orientation. New students, wel- • mation Center. When Things go Wrong. In the face of changing legislation come to MIT! The Graduate Student Council runs a large number 10:45 a.m. - Campus Tour. Student led campus tours are and legal procedures, what are the emergency protocols that of programs to help new students at MIT. From the minute new approximately 90 minutes long and provide a general overview all incoming students should be aware of? Their rights, and students arrive in Boston, the GSC is involved by offering a shut- of the main campus. Please note that campus tours do not visit the proper code of conduct if ever confronted by legal authori- tle service that brings them from the airport to MIT campus. We laboratories, living groups or buildings under construction. ties. free. Room: Mezzanine Lounge. Sponsor: GSC Orienta- run and plan the Institute's official graduate student Orientation Groups over 15 people need to make special reservations. Cam- tion. and coordinate a mentorship program to help new international pus tours start at the conclusion of the Admissions Information 4:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. - LBGT Welcome Fruit Fest. Come, meet stUdents. If you are a new student we highly encourage you to Session. The campus tour begins in Room ~120. free. Room: and hang out with lesbian, bisexual, gay and transgender upper- explore all of the information on these webpages, and we hope Room ~120. Sponsor: Information Center. class students, faculty, staff and allies in a relaxing queer posi- the GSC can help make your first year experience at MIT as 11:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m. - Graduate Student Panel: My Experi- tive environment with great food and fruit smoothies. This is the enjoyable as possible! Room: Check Web site for details. Spon- ences In Graduate School. Hear from fellow students how their best way to get connected early and ask questions about les- sor: Graduate Student Council. experiences in graduate school relate to the talk "Stages of bian, gay, bisexual, questioning and transgender experiences at 9:30 a.m. - 10:30 a.m. - Welcome Mass/Reception. Reception Graduate School." Is this really how it is? Did you really feel like MIT. If you can't make it, [email protected] get in contact follows Mass. free. Room: La Sala de Puerto Rica/Student Cen- that? How did you deal with these experiences? Was your expe- with MIl's Rainbow Lounge staff (information sent to this list is ter. Sponsor: Tech Catholic Community. rience different? Why do you feel the way you do? These are just confidential!). free. Room: Rainbow Lounge, Walker Building, 50- 1:00 p.m. - 2:00 p.m. - Mass. free. Room: MIT Chapel. Spon- a few questions (besides any questions you might have) that will 306. Sponsor: Ibgt@mit. sor: Tech Catholic Community. be addressed in this panel of graduate students from all stages 5:30 p.m. - 6:30 p.m. - Academic Code of Conduct. Staying out. 5:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. - Mass. free. Room: MIT Chapel. Spon- of their "development." Room: Mezzanine Lounge. Sponsor: of trouble can be harder than you think. Because you need to sor: Tech Catholic Community. GSC Orientation . know what to do and what not to do to effectively stay out of it. Monday, August 25 12:00 p.m. - 1:00 p.m. - Interlink Lunch. Food to keep every- Do you really know what is a correct citation and what is plagia- one going for the rest of the day, and a chance to find out about rism? If an exam is open book, what does this really mean? Can 7:00 a.m. - Class of 2007 Undergraduate Orientation. Room: Interlink. free. Room: Mezzanine Lounge. Sponsor: Interlink, I do my homework as a team? Can I use the Internet for an Check Orientation 2003 Web site for details .. Sponsor: Academ- GSC Orientation. open book exam? Most MIT graduate students who get into aca- ic Resource Center. 12:00 p.m. - 1:00 p.m. - Lunch seminar: Human Factors Engi- demic misconduct trouble do so unknowingly. Don't be one of 7:00 a.m. - Graduate Student Orientation. Room: Check Web neering: Perspectives from the Medical, Automotive, and Ae~ them. free. Room: Mezzanine Roor, Student Center. Sponsor: site for details. Sponsor: Graduate Student Council. space FIeld. Come and discuss the multiple perspectives of International Students Office, GSC Orientation. 9:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. - Course Catalogue Distribution. Bring human factors with our invited guests from Volpe (U.S. Dept. of 7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. - Intematlonal Student Mentorshlp DIn- your MIT 10 and pick up a copy of the 2003-2004 course cata- Transportation), Harvard Medical School, and MIT. Bring your ner. Food to wrap up a long day of discussions. Also a chance logue. free. Room: 5~191. Sponsor: Reference Publications lunch, but desserts will be provided! free. Room: 6~154. Spon- for participants of the International mentorship program to meet Office. sor: Graduate Student Council, Human Factors and Ergonomics each other. Co-sponsored by GSC-ARC. free. Room: Ashdown 10:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m. - Welcome Brunch for CMI Cambridge Society, MIT Student Chapter. House. Sponsor: GSC Orientation. Exchange Students. CMI Cambridge Exchange Students meet 1:00 p.m. - 2:00 p.m. - Culture Shock Workshop. Culture 7:30 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. - Argentine Tango Beginner Class. MIT professors, administrators, and students as they enjoy shock is not an issue for me, is it? It only affects people who Argentine Tango for Beginners Taught by Eray Yuksek of Baila- brunch. Information packets for the students will be available are less mentally stable than I am. Wrong. Culture shock affects tango (http://www.bailatango.comjboston). Class followed by at the brunch. free for invitees. Room: Twenty Chimneys. Spon- all of us. No matter whether you are American and you just two hours of practica open to Cambridge community. Room: Lob- sor: Cambridge-MIT Institute Undergraduate Exchange Office. moved to New England or whether you just set foot on American dell Cafeteria, 2nd floor of Student Center. Sponsor: Argentine 10:00 a.m. - 11:00 a.m. - Stages of Graduate School. Being soil for the very first time. It is completely normal to experience Tango Club. - a graduate student means that you will go through several culture shock. But what is culture shock, how do I know it when 9:00 p.m. - 1:00 a.m. - Trivia Night at the thirsty Ear. Every stages of your personal development as a graduate student. I see it and what can I do to make it a pleasant and not a disori- Monday is Trivia Night. Bring a team and compete for great Many students experience similar things at similar stages of enting and debilitating experience? These and many more ques- prizes like DVDs, CDs, sports tickets, movie passes, gift certifi- graduate school. This means one important thing: you are not tions will be addressed in this workshop led by Dr. Suze Pru- cates, and MOREll The Thirsty Ear Pub is located in the base- alone I You are completely normal (no matter what you think). dent, who moved to the U.S. from Haiti and has experienced ment of Ashdown House. Enter through the courtyard. Free. Prepare yourself, know what to expect, know how to get the culture shock first hand. free. Sponsor: GSC Orientation. Room: The Thirsty Ear Pub. Sponsor: The Thirsty Ear Pub, GSC best out of your experience as a graduate student! This talk is 2:00 p.m. - 2:45 p.m. - Admlsstons OffIce Infonnation SessIon. Activities. Page 12 THE TECH Augu t 24, 2003 Free Shuttles e p Students Get Around Cambridge Getting Around, from Page 1 mouth (beaches!), and Providence (Rhode Island!). States of America. It's time to Trains traveling to points north explore, kids. of the city depart from orth Station (accessible by Orange and Green IT and local shuttles Lines) and trains traveling to points Getting around MlT and the var- south of the city depart from South ious living groups in Cambridge and Station (accessible by Red Line). Boston is easy and free. During the Trains operate from 6 a.m. until 11 day, TECH Shuttle runs every twen- p.m. on weekdays and 7 a.m. until ty minutes from 7:15 a.m. until 7:15 11 p.m. on weekends. Fares vary p.m. on weekdays, stopping at vari- based on the distance traveled from ous locations around campus includ- the center of the city and range from ing 84 Massachusetts Ave. (that's $1 to $5.75. the Student Center), Burton-Conner, and Kendall Square. Cheap trips to ew York City SafeRide is the nighttime MIT Chinatown buses are the way to shuttle that stops at or near every go if you want to go to New York MIT dormitory and living group. It City. These buses take you non-stop operates from 6 p.m. until 3 a.m. from Boston Chinatown to Manhat- Sunday through Wednesday and 6 tan Chinatown. Most companies p.m. until 4 a.m. Thursday through have over 20 buses each day and Saturday. There are four shuttles, prices run around $10 to $15 each erving Cambridge East, Cambridge way. Most companies allow you to West, Boston East, and Boston purchase tickets online; however West. You can catch SafeRide on you can buy tickets in Chinatown as the half hour from the bus stops at well. The trip takes about four hours, but can vary depending on 77 and 84 Massachusetts Ave. PETER R. RUSSO-THE TECH Beginning this year, there will be Thirty-six Fung Wah buses run between Boston and New York City dally, departing from Chinatown. traffic. daytime SafeRide during the coldest Greyhound, in an attempt to com- months of the school year to prevent LaVerde's will probably be $2.50 The two less-used lines of the T points across the city and metropoli- pete with the Chinatown buses, offers students from freezing to death as for a one-way ticket. are the Blue and Orange Lines. You tan area. The Massachusetts Ave. $20 one-way fares to the New York they trek to school. may have ridden the Blue Line from bus (Route 1) is probably the most Port Authority Bus Terminal. Grey- The SafeRide and TECH Shuttle MBT A serve Boston area Logan Airport. You can also use the important bus to MIT students, hound leaves from South Station and vans are equipped with global posi- By now you've probably figured Blue Line to reach a couple of especially during the winter. serves points across the country, in • tioning satellite devices that allow out that Boston has a subway and beaches north of the airport. The It travels up Mass. Ave as far addition to New York City. the shuttles to be tracked on the bus system called the Massachusetts beaches are a bit grungy and there's north as Harvard Square, and down Shuttletrack Web site. It is not cur- Bay Transportation Authority, or lots of air traffic overhead, but it Mass Ave beyond Symphony Hall, Trains, planes whisk you away rently functional, but it's something simply the T. It's America's first may help to eliminate that Boston stopping eventually at Dudley Amtrak trains arrive at North to watch for. subway system so it's a little grimy pallor that you will soon develop. Square. In particular, it stops at and South Stations and can send you The Arnold Beacon and Mass. Ave., travels any where in the country. Perhaps Arboretum and across the Harvard Bridge, and the most relevant Amtrak line to Transportation Agencies, Attractions Krispy Kreme stops at 77 Mass. Ave. The bus Boston students is the northeast cor- Donuts are two operates Monday through Saturday ridor. Acela, the high7"speed Amtrak Here are the Web sites for the various modes of transportation mentioned in the guide. highlights of from 5 a.m. until 2 a.m. and on Sun- train, can speed you to New York the Orange day from 5 a.m. until midnight. Bus CitY in under. four hours for about TECH Shuttle http://web.mit.edulparking/techshuttle.html Line. You can fare is 75 cents. You can pay with a $100 one-way. The normal trains SafeRide http://web.mit.edulparking/saferide.html get to the dollar bill, but you won't get any take just over four hours 'and cost ShuttleTrack http://shuttletrack. mil. edu Arboretum, a change back. approximately $76 one-way. AI~o CambridgeSide Galleria Wave http://www.cambridgesidegalleria.comlinfo/services.cftn "tree zoo," MIT subsidizes MBTA monthly on the northeast corridor is Wash- EZRide http://www.masscommute.comltmaslcrtmal from the Forest passes for members of the MIT ington, D.C., which can be accessed Welles]ey-MIT Exchange Bus http://www.wellesiey.eduIHousing/exchange.html Hills stop. community. The subsidized local by both Acela and normal trains for Wellesley Senate Bus http://www.welles/ey.eduIHousing/senate.htm/ Krispy Kreme bus pass is $9.50 (reduced from $165 and $106 each way, respec- MBTA http://www.mbta.com (along with $25) and the subsidized subway tively. That trip takes about eight Museum of Fine Arts http://www.mft.org several stores pass is $17.50 (reduced from $35). hours. . ." Museum of Science http://www.mos.org including Tar- You can sign up for passes by filling Almost any airline y.op could Arnold Arboretum http://www.arboretum.harvard.edul get) is located out a form in the Cashier's office in ever desire leaves.from Logan AiJ:- MlT Subsidized T Passes http://web.mit.edulparking/tpassapp.html at Wellington. the infinite corridor or by going to port. Especially of interest to poor Fung Wah Bus http://www.fungwahbus.com/ The T runs the MIT Parking and Transportation college students are the discount air- Sunshine Travel http://www.ivymedia.com/sunshinelboston_newyorkl every day from office in Building E32. lines such as AirTran. AirTran Lucky Star Bus http://www.luckystarbus.coml approximately allows people between the ages of Greyhound http://www.greyhound.com 5 a.m .. until Mini-vacations on commuter rail 18 to 22 to fly stand-by for $52 per Amtrak http://www.amtrak.com 12:30 a.m. The commuter rail, intended for trip segment. This offer expires AirTran http://www.airttan.com Each line has people who work in Boston and live Dec. 17,2003. its own sched- in the suburbs of Boston, provides Cheaper flights are often avail- L- ..J ule so check an inexpensive means of escaping able from airports in smaller mar- The Wave is another useful free and unpredictable, but functional. the MBT A Web site before heading the city for the day, or even the kets such as Providence, RI, and • shuttle that leaves from the MIT The subway has four lines that out early or late. The fare is $1.00 weekend. The commuter rail serves Manchester, NH. There are a few campus at the Kendall Square Coop. are named by colors: Blue, Orange, per ride, but may go up next year to points in all directions outside of the bus lines that provide service It provides quick transportation to Red, and Green. Each serves differ- $1.25. city. You can reach Salem (witch- between Boston and Providence or the CambridgeSide Galleria, the ent areas of the metropolitan region, The MBTA bus system serves es!), Manchester (beaches!), Ply- Manchester airports. closest mall to MIT. It departs every with some overlap towards the cen- 20 minutes from 9 a.m. until 6 p.m. ter of Boston. Monday through Saturday and noon MIT has a stop on the Red Line until 6 p.m. on Sunday. at Kendall Square. The Red Line EZRide provides service from serves areas northwest and southeast Kendall Square to Cambridgeport, of the city. Stops of interest include East Cambridge, and North Station Central Square and Harvard Square, in Boston. It is free for people with which have lots of restaurants, an MIT ID card and runs from 6: 15 shops, and nightlife spots. The Red a.m. to 10 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. to Line also serves Downtown Cross- 7:30 p.m. Monday through Friday. ing, which is one of Boston's shop- The Wellesley-MIT Exchange ping districts and right on the edge Bus transports primarily cross-regis- of Chinatown. tered MIT and Wellesley students The Green Line serves east between the two campuses for free. Cambridge and points west of It runs regularly from 7:35 a.m. Boston. There are four branches of until 12: 10 a.m. Monday through the westbound Green Line: B, C, D, Thursday and from 7:35 a.m. until and E. The B line runs down Com- 6: 10 p.m. on Friday. It stops at monwealth Ave. and is frequented Buildings 34 and E40. You must by Boston University and Boston show an MIT or Wellesley identifi- College students. The B line ends at cation card to ride the bus. the Boston College campus. The C Don't worry, you can still make line trains travel down Beacon S1. to a late night trip to Wellesley on the Coolidge Comer. There is a small weekend via the Senate Bus. The movie theater at Coolidge Comer Senate Bus, more often referred to and other interesting places to by a more crude name (ask an explore. The D line ends at River- upperclassman), leaves from side, in the suburbs of Boston. It McCormick Hall and, on the Boston stops at Longwood, which is the side, Boston University's Danielson hub for several hospitals and Har- Hall Gust west of Mass. Ave. on vard Medical School. The Eline Beacon St.). It stops regularly at will take you to Northeastern Uni- MIT from 7 p.m. to 2:50 a.m. on versity and the Museum of Fine Friday night, 8:50 a.m. to 3:30 a.m. Arts (free with the MIT ID). on Saturday, and 8:50 a.m. until The eastern end of the Green STANLEY HU-THE TECH II :50 p.m. on Sunday. You can buy Line takes you to the Museum of Third baseman Bill Mueller doubles to left field to drive In a crucial run during the Red Sox's 6-4 tickets at LaVerde's Market on Science (also free with the MIT ID) victory over the Baltimore Orioles on Aug. 9. Currently ranked second In the American League campus and at Marlboro Market on and ultimately Lechmere, which is with a .324 batting average, Mueller Is having a career year with the Red Sox. Mass. Ave. in Boston. The cost at right next to the Galleria..Jf!, q,