Do I think it worked? Somewhat. and visual have been improving, becoming next sense to involve. Plus, the tactile Certainly, during the demonstrations, more and more realistic, so much so that nature gives a feeling of doing, rather people got very into the fights – they we’ve pretty much reached a point of than just watching. It makes the game Fighting with a broadsword is hard. First cheered and crowd favorites were diminishing returns, when comparing more of an experience, and isn’t there’s all the trouble of swinging a large chosen. Afterward, we got tons of financial input to visual and audio output. experience what it’s all about? steel object around with one hand, much questions: How heavy is the sword? In addition, we’ve reached a point where less one that requires two hands. And Quite. Isn’t it hard to move in the many of the games’ offerings outclass the Cheers, then add on top of this the trouble of armor? It is. Did you know that sparks hardware on the gamers’ end – graphics armor; whether you use chain mail flew from the swords? Yep. Can I have a are now only as good as a player’s HDTV, (which is silly heavy) or you use leather picture with you? Um, sure. People were if he even has one. (lighter, but a little more stiff) you just getting that this wasn’t something that really don’t know the extent to which was something you could walk off the Where does that leave us when we are until you’ve been there. Trust me. I’ve street and do easily. But they still didn’t looking to improve the gameplay done it. get it. They were just watching. experience? It’s time to start incorporating the other senses. And Yes, I’ve donned the leather armor and Now, had we been demonstrating moves since Smellyvision hasn’t really caught To the Editor: How many best of issues stepped into the ring. I’ve used a one- and having them mirror us, they may on (can’t imagine why), and developers are you guys gonna put out? This is handed sword, and a two-handed one to have gotten it a little better. True, they will be hard pressed to get a gamer to getting a little ridiculous here. Do it once more success. I’ve dealt with the relative wouldn’t have had the armor or the stop drinking Bawls long enough to taste a year, not once every few months for inability to duck or twist my upper body weight of the sword, but they would some blood-on-your-lip-ambience, we’re christ’s sake. to anything approaching my full flexibility have been moving, employing the left with touch. range because of the armor, while mechanics and touch sense. And that - Ryan wielding a several pound steel blade. extra stimulus would have conveyed And really, the touch output is the one more, been more of an experience. over which a developer can have the Editors’ Reply: Thanks for dropping us These were not fully choreographed most control. Games like Guitar Hero a line (and for being so honest with your demonstrations our troop put on, but What is the nature of “experience?” Do prove that a gamer will go out and buy a feelings). We appreciate all of the rather, a few choreographed moves we not experience the world through our controller made for one game and one feedback we get, even the negative stuff. inserted here and there into a contest, senses; are these not our inputs game only, provided it’s a great much like that of a fencing match. We describing what is around us that our experience. So, it makes sense that this First, allow me to suggest the possibility were attempting to show audiences what brain might better understand? Thus far, is the next step in game design, why that you’re confusing our Issue 60 battle in medieval times may have been games have focused mainly on two: sight we’re starting to see more games “Editor’s Choice” with a “Best Of” issue. like, using replica equipment and moves. and hearing. Over the years, the audio involving movement. It is the easiest The two are actually very different. Issue 60 was all-original content from our full issue of all-original content next created a bustling market for add-ons various contributors - it just didn’t fit week, and that we have no immediate purchased online. Many of the games into any one category. (We have more of plans for another “Best Of” anytime soon. eschew subscription fees in favor of those coming up, so prepare yourself.) allowing no-payers to play, but be Thanks for reading, significantly handicapped through game- A “Best Of” is what we published [last] mechanics (didn’t buy that turbo week, and it is, in fact, a reprint of - Russ boost?), or socially handicapped in the material previously published. But it is world (their avatar isn’t decked out in only the second such issue we’ve ever In Response to “Gran Turismo: the latest sprite fashion). published, and we don’t publish those Game Not Included” from The lightly. The fact is that we’re determined Escapist Lounge: I think the idea of to provide our readers with fresh, micro-transactions for that much content original content every week, but is one of two things: retarded or sometimes we just can’t. complete genius. If it were to come in large packs for cars and maps for The last time we published a “Best Of” example - all the rally stuff for 5 dollars, Issue was in May (Issue 45) while we supercar 5 dollars etc. - and there was a (and everybody else) were attending E3. clear price difference where it evened out This time around, as Julianne Greer to the price of a full game I could deal. describes in her Editor’s Note, we had planned to do an issue that didn’t pan - Lex Darko out, and decided coincidentally that this would be a nice time to give some of our In Response to “Gran Turismo: staff their first vacation in over a year. Game Not Included” from The So we did. Escapist Lounge: Disclaimer: I bought a PS2 to play Gran Turismo 4. I also The most ironic part of all of this is that bought the Logitech Racing Wheel. You the most frequent criticism we receive is could say I’m a fan. that we produce *too much* content, and most readers simply can’t keep up. A micropayment strategy for online Clearly, you are not among them, but games is still novel in the US; compare rest assured that we will be presenting a that to Korea, where developers have It is my understanding that alternate I’ll play it no matter what unless I’ve forms of payment, like gamecards or heard that it’s really really terrible. charging items to your mobile phone account makes billing less painful (and - DrRosenRosen more impulsive). The bottom line is that this model is appropriate for some types In Response to “Microsoft of online games. Reimburses first-run Xbox360 Buyers” from The Escapist Forum: - Steven Rokiski It’s nice to hear that MS is going to take a bit of a financial bite to assuage the In Response to “How Do You Read complaints of costumers who got a lemon Game Reviews” from The Escapist from the first run, but what about some Forum: I only read reviews once I’m of the inherent design issues? Namely actually playing the game. When trying putting a hot, power-hungry system in to decide what I want to play I go to such a small poorly-ventilated case? gamerankings.com or metacritic, look up the game, discard the highest and lowest I know it is quite a challenge to satisfy scores and then find the mean of the customer design expectations with the remaining scores. Then I’ll see if I like real engineering constraints inherent in the game’s subject/style/genre. For computer design, but until they get more instance, I’m not a huge RTS fan so an efficient components inside the case, the RTS has to be pretty freakin’ awesome to 360 will still have problems. interest me. Alternatively, I really like horror based games so I know something - heavyfeul like Call of Cthulhu will be of more interest to me despite mediocre reviews.

Of course, if I can get a game for $2 brand new like I did with Max Payne 2 from Gamestop.com a couple weeks ago, When talking about “hands on” gaming, there are multiple avenues of respectable journalism to pursue, as my colleagues in this issue will ably demonstrate. There is, however, really only one road down which my own mind was willing to travel, and not because and practically zero maintenance to both road and mind are seedy, dimly-lit operate, making them perfect for corridors bypassing all that is right and insertion into a phallus … or a game good with the world (which is controller. Or perhaps, as some nevertheless true). enterprising minds have discovered, a game-controlled phallus. Rather, it’s because the mechanisms and theories of force feedback and tactile- First called “teledildonics” in the 1980s responsive videogame play - the by Ted Nelson (the same man who vibrating motors, ergonomic designs and coined the term Hypertext), the field of tactile response actuators - originated, electronically-enhanced has or were perfected, for use in sex play. more or less exploded in recent years. After over a century of advances in the Encouraged by websites like Slashdong, science of masturbatory technology, outspoken columnists like Regina Lynn, modern vibrating massagers are now online communities like Second Life and quite small and require very little power a number of singles-oriented web-based dating services (many of which offer “have ” as a profile checkbox), more and more people are trying (or perhaps admitting to trying) teledildos. To cover every available device would require more space than we have here. So I’ve narrowed it down to the most stimulating of the bunch, and invited a few of my colleagues to help me get a grip on the subject. teledildonic videogame peripheral, tells the story like this: “Rich guy decided he We’ll start with the first teledildo, you’ll pardon the pun) quite stimulating, wanted a Lawnmower Man flavored sex because, as with martinis, movie doesn’t it? rig.” According to Kyle, it “sounded kinda trilogies and love, it’s the one we usually spiffy.” remember. David James thought so. In the late ‘90s, Mr. James, the founder of America’s most Indeed. So where is it? According to Mr. All in the Suit That you Wear successful pornographic entertainment James, the suit combined with Imagine a device combining three of the company, Vivid Entertainment, invested services was to be “very big money in world’s favorite things: the internet, at least $180,000 in R&D for what his the future.” In reality, the device never pornography and self-pleasuring. company called The Cyber Sex Suit. The made it to market, and outside of a few Imagine that it’s wearable and connected suit was a wetsuit-like garment, test subjects, and perhaps Mr. James to your computer. Imagine that you can enhanced with 30 or so tiny sensors, himself, no one has seen it since. use it with an online partner and that wired to a device that could be plugged your partner can control the device from into a DVD player or an internet-enabled Ultimately, in spite of the backing of the afar. Imagine watching a pornographic computer and could be manipulated most powerful pornographer on the video clip (try hard, some of you), and remotely to deliver tiny electric shocks to planet, The Cyber Sex Suit failed to pass feeling the general effect of the acts the more tingly bits of the wearer’s the most basic safety regulations. The depicted onscreen in the appropriate body; in other words, it was an internet- Federal Trade Commission feared that erogenous zones of your own body. Now enabled sex simulator. the electrical current running through imagine, doing all of the above - with the the suit could lead to trouble for people same device - all while having both Kyle Machulis, founder of the website with pacemakers, or people who got hands free for … whatever. Sounds (if Slashdong and creator of the SeXBox sweaty or secreted other fluids while

I asked Regina Lynn, sex tech columnist for Wired, whether she thought there was still a need for a device like The Cyber Sex Suit.

“A need?” she responded. “No. But a What about Kyle? As one of the foremost But what about The Cyber Sex Suit? desire? Yes. And I should not be so quick experts on teledildonics, I was curious to to dismiss it as a need, actually. We’re hear his opinion of the device, if he’d “I only deal,” he claims. “I don’t partake. always finding new ways to have sex. I used it, would use it and why. I’d probably rip it apart and figure out using it to have sex. In other words, just think the first application of a sex suit how it worked. Then use it for something about everyone was at risk from the suit. would be for parties and sex workers, “There’s not that much to be an expert non-sexual.” though - too expensive to have just as a on, honestly,” Kyle points out. “This isn’t Vivid’s thrust to penetrate the market, home toy, for the average person.” rocket science. Hell, it’s hardly high- “I’ve noticed that many teledildonics therefore, was blocked, and The Cyber school-level engineering. There’s very, aficionados suffer from a certain level of Sex Suit had to hit the showers. But But would she use one? very little that you could call schizophrenia,” says Lara Crigger, a cybersex and the so-called “feel-good technologically advanced about the technology and game industry journalist internet” lived on, fed by consumer “Of course I would give it a try,” she current state of commercial teledildonics. who’s extensively researched the subject concern that, as Kyle Machulis adroitly replied. “Why not? As to whether I would It could’ve been done a decade ago, of teledildonics for both the web and surmises, teledildonics were long buy one, I doubt it. For me, the people were predicting it two decades print publications. “Some are the kind of overdue: “Full body actuation of virtual stimulation of long-distance sex is ago, and yet, here we sit with the same people who do it just to get a kick out of environments is something we’ve seen in almost entirely mental, emotional, ol’ boring hardware that’s existed for shocking the naïve or closed-minded. sci-fi for decades, so it’s probably coming spiritual - the physical kicks in at the years. People who see prurience as like an art at some point. Whether it will be next end, but it’s a long delicious gradual form. Something to be embraced, even week or the same time as the flying car building of desire and pleasure and want. “But, for all intents and purposes, sure, celebrated. is a good question.” I’d feel claustrophobic in a suit, I think.” I’m an expert.” new generation of toys, however, And it seems to be working. The promises to help remedy that. OhMiBod is (at the time of this writing) currenly listed as “out of stock” on the Next stop: masturbating with an iPod. OhMiBod website due to “orgasmic demand,” and has been covered by Groove is in the Heart practically every blogger on the net, as “Everyone loves music. Everyone loves well as such mainstream outlets as the sex,” claims Suki, the maker of the supermarket-friendly Redbook. stylish-looking iPod accessory, OhMiBod. The device is, in essence, a sleek-looking According to Regina Lynn, while playing “But then, there are others who like to vibrating that plugs into an iPod or country music, “the almost leaps pretend that their hobby isn’t about sex; any other device with a headphone jack, out of my hand with its full-speed-ahead or, at the very least, that the sex is some and then vibrates to the rhythm of your buzz, only easing off for a breath First Principle that they try to move on music. It even comes with a splitter so between verse and chorus.” One can only from. It’s almost like they’re trying to that you can have your iDildo and imagine how it would respond to transfer the kink from the maker onto headphones plugged in at the same electronica. the observer; that is, should you focus time. on the toy’s sexual possibilities instead As with the iPod itself, the fact it works of its schematics or design, well, then Suki offers the device for $69, as well as as well or better than similar devices is you’re the one with the dirty mind.” a host of accessories and a community beside the point; it looks cool, which, if site called, appropriately, Club Vibe, the success of its parent device is any So it would seem that one of the major which lists a growing number of DJs who indication, could do more for the field of roadblocks to mainstream success for are spinning out music specially crafted dildonics than rechargeable batteries. teledildonics, in addition to fear of to hit just the right spot and a slew of electric shock, is the acceptance gap: user-submitted, iTunes-enabled playlists. See Me, Feel Me the perception that online-enabled sex With OhMiBod, Suki promises more than So, if a stylish, iPod-colored magic wand toys are just for pervs. To bridge that just a one-night stand - they’re selling has the potential to entice a whole new gap, one would have to convince people the idea that sex play is cool, and are generation of sexual beings to pick up a that the toys themselves are safe for hoping that users will see their device as dildo, what would it take to get those non-perv usage. After all, it’s not like a gateway to a larger community of same people into a teledildo? I asked our having rubber genitalia lying around is Jacks and Jills who are into getting off on three “sexperts” what lies in the mind of exactly acceptable in polite society. A their music. those seeking cybersex. What kind of person needs a teledildo? Who’s the So, basically: those who have sex for target audience? love, those who do it for fun and those who do it as a job? Sounds like “No one needs it,” says Regina Lynn. everyone. Why isn’t everyone using a “But it’s a fun addition to have. I’d say it teledildo? appeals to three groups: “I dunno,” says Kyle Machulis “Really, I 1. Long distance lovers. You and your don’t. Sex is a very personal matter. partner live far apart and don’t get to There’s gonna be the obvious answer of see each other every weekend. physical actuation for distance Teledildonics becomes one of the ways relationships, but there’s also going to you stay connected. Not every day, but be people who want to sit in rooms in something fun to pull out of the closet the same house and use it.” once in a while. “I do think it’s unfair to dismiss 2. Online lovers. You and your online teledildonics as purely the product of lover can’t get together in the flesh for pervy miscreants,” says Lara Crigger. whatever reason - or you don’t want to “That would be really oversimplifying the and the relationship is entirely online - matter. I think it all comes back to the but you add teledildonics as one of the human need for affection, acceptance ways you play. and love.

3. Online sex work. A performer, whether “These days, it’s completely acceptable a cam girl or a Second Life escort or to try to find love online - as long as it’s porn star, can offer teledildonics to her just the emotional kind. The moment clients as a way to increase her earnings. you try to express love through physical And clients can take advantage of the means - teledildonics, emergent sex, opportunity to touch the professional (by cybering, whatever - you’re seen as proxy, anyway) without worrying about creepy and weird. STDs or getting arrested.” “But sex is a natural, genetic impulse. In the real world, no truly fulfilling relationship can work without at least a “Here’s how it works,” reported Regina little skin-to-skin action. Why should Lynn, in September of 2004. “Your virtual worlds be any different? Sinulator package includes the transmitter, a vibrator and a receiver. “So, in essence, teledildonics is just an You download the client application from attempt to reintroduce that physicality Sinulator.com. During installation, you back into digital search for love. It tries connect the transmitter to a USB port. to act as a sexual liberation of sorts, a fumbling attempt to free our libidos from “When you’re all installed and have the self-imposed inhibition. Sure, it usually client running, you attach your toy to the doesn’t work. But at least it tries.” wireless receiver and switch it on. Finally, you go to Sinulator.com and Tries. But how hard? I wondered. To choose a name for your toy. After that, answer that question, I sought out anyone who knows your toy’s name can information on what’s being billed as the set your toy a-buzzin’ using the Sinulator most successful - or at least most-widely control panel. Neither of you has to available - teledildo around: The register or divulge any personal Sinulator. information - not even an e-mail address.” Radar Love The Sinulator is more than a teledildo, But does it work? it’s a teledildonics interface compatible with a number of different toys, including “I’m enjoying the novelty of it,” she says. a male sleeve, which can “I can honestly say that the Sinulator then be used in tandem with the beats the pocket rocket hands down.” standard teledildo for true male-female cybersex - or the closest we’ve come Wicked Game yet. The company even offers Having satisfied the sexual cravings of connections to popular online dating and audiophiles, long-distance lovers and the “swinger” services, through which you mildly curious, one then has to wonder can find and cyber with other Sinulator- what teledildonics will to do for gamers. owning netizens. After all, the success of Rez, its optional vibrator accessory and a host of websites games become sexual environments, envelope, looking for the perfect hybrid think teledildonics would probably never dedicated to perfecting the use of which was lots of silly fun. However, it of technology and prurience. take hold, or even make a noticeable rumble-enabled controllers as sex toys branched out to be much more than that dent, in the gaming industry. For one, (teaching gamers everywhere how to hit as I got interested in sex technologies “[SeXBox is] an open source sex it’s too much of a novelty act. Even just the right sequence of buttons to and what was happening with them.” platform. People should be allowed to regular, run-of-the-mill sex toys serve maximize in-game vibration) have shown [have sex] how they want, even if it is only a niche market. us that there is at least a token demand Kyle’s original SeXBox was a do-it- computer-controlled. You shouldn’t have for game-related sex play. So who’s yourself project requiring (among other to deal with someone else’s idea of “The fatal flaw of teledildonics is not that feeding it? things) a vibrator, an Xbox controller and what’s a good UI for your sexual it’s weird. It’s that although the toys can a soldering iron. His technique has since fantasies, nor should you have to worry stimulate most body parts and orifices Kyle Machulis, for one. been refined and expanded upon by about paying their monthly fee to use reasonably well, they can’t stimulate the others, but he continues to push the the hardware you bought. most crucial sex organ of all: the brain. “I created the SeXBox back in February Teledildonics tends to separate the mind of 2005,” Kyle says. “Which was a joke. “Outside of that, I’ve also become from sex. But the mind makes sex fun, Xbox controllers vibrate, vibrators interested in the idea of intimate addictive. Without it, you just get vibrate, put the two together, and … interfaces. Right now, we’re still on the friction, fluids and occasional release. UI paradigms PARC gave us in the late So, I think that’s why the technology ‘70s. These don’t translate well to hasn’t succeeded yet; few people find software made to control sex. Once anything mentally stimulating about an people can build their own interfaces, it’ll Xbox controller. be interesting to see what they come up with in order to control what is “It doesn’t necessarily have to be that considered to be one of the most way. If a sex toy were developed in intimate experiences one can have as a tandem with a game release, then sure, human being. Maybe it’ll be something I could see it succeeding. But the sex toy we can learn from.” and the game would need to be closely interlinked. They’d need to work Lara Crigger is not so sure. together, instead of parallel to each other, to satiate a player’s desires. “Even if we didn’t already have preconceived notions about the propriety “Of course, I’m mostly speculating. of electronic sex toys,” she says, “I still Although I’ve been curious enough about teledildonics to write about it, I’m still that people have cybersex. Like now, Russ Pitts is an Associate Editor for The too timid to have actually tried any of some prefer webcams, some prefer Escapist. He has been writing on the web these devices myself. But the truth is, I avatars, some alternate. But I think it since it was invented and claims to have can’t think of anything less sexy than will take closer to 20 years … for played every console ever made. He also gaming electronics. They’re hard, cold intimate interfaces to become that mixes a fantastic Perfect Manhattan. and plastic. It would be like ordinary. The technology develops faster masturbating with a coffee maker, or a than Americans’ ability to handle it.” steering wheel or a potted plant. Sure, you could do it, I guess, but why? And I Kyle Machulis, as one might expect from think that’s the question that needs to the quirky creator of the SeXBox, sees be answered before teledildonics will the future of teledildonics as far more ever see any mainstream success (if bleak. ever).” “On the macro scale,” he says, “we’ve Longview got a long, long way to go in terms of “I’ve written about the human side of realism. Right now, all we’ve got is a technology my entire career,” says vibration motor you can remotely change Regina Lynn. “But since I started ‘Sex speeds on. That’s not exactly like real Drive,’ I’ve focused on the relationship sexual interaction. We’ll start to see between sex and tech. I have had long- machines that can imitate the distance relationships and cyberspace experience, and then possibly build on it. relationships in my life where these ‘intimate interfaces’ would have been a “Then, someday, it’ll become better than boon! having sex with other people and we’ll all forget how to screw each other and “In 10 years, everyone will know that reproduce and the species will die out. you can control a sex toy over the internet. (It’s amazing how many people “Except for me. I know what’s coming. don’t know this already.) In 20 years, no My plans are in place. I will be King.” one will care - or rather, it will have the same reputation that cybersex does now, because it will simply be another way With its simplistic point-and-click themed videogame carnage if properly interface, handheld portability, multi- educated. The gun has a rich and format compatibility and chic social magnificent history in both the arcades accessory status, it’s no wonder the and the home gaming arenas, and I’m common household gun has had such an here to celebrate the wonderful world of impact on the videogame world. the virtual shooter.

And why wouldn’t they? Guns are When Ralph Baer invented the home tremendous fun. With a little bit of videogame way back in the late ‘60s, imagination and a bucket load of one of the first human interface devices gratuitous violence they can transform he and his engineering team at Sanders an average game into blood-splattered, Associates (which just so happened to be lead-filled, cap bustin’, thrill-a-minute a military contractor) devised was a pandemonium. If only more game makeshift light-pistol. Not really anything developers would stop shirking their more than a light “detector” with a responsibilities and ensure at least half handle, the pistol was used to select the titles they turn out have some bright white squares against a black semblance of firearm-related background in various test routines. It entertainment, the videogame market was then re-engineered to fit inside a toy might not be faced with such a rifle bought at a local department store, depressing sales slump. and was finally redesigned one last time as a pump-action shotgun accessory for Now, I realize there are some gamers the first ever videogame console out there who like their toast lightly released in 1972, the Magnavox buttered, their seats well cushioned and Odyssey. Not only was the console a their games filled with cutesy cartoon commercial success, but the high-priced characters who are assailed by nothing rifle accessory also sold extremely well, more threatening than a brightly colored shifting around 80,000 units during the mushroom, but I’m confident that even console’s lifespan. you tedious pacifists can enjoy light-gun Perhaps not the exact model upon which “videogame,” Nintendo of America was subsequent light-guns were based (as faced with the monstrous task of duping players could effectively cheat at the jaded consumer back into buying Odyssey games by pointing the rifle at a home entertainment equipment. Once light bulb instead of the TV screen), but again, the toy gun was used to tempt us the impressive sales certainly established into the videogame section of toy stores. the public’s willingness to loose digital Nintendo’s tactic was risky, but brilliant. light-bullets at anything and everything that moved onscreen. The Famicom had been selling terrifically in Japan and was remarketed to Whether or not it was a deliberate apathetic middle-America as an marketing strategy (and I suspect it accessory to a couple of moderately wasn’t, since the light-gun apparatus dispensable electronic toys. One was R. had already been established out of O.B. the robot – a bug-eyed little critter necessity rather than commerciality), the who struggled around the floor in introduction of a light-gun to the new accordance with the onscreen antics of a and untested videogame market was couple of rubbish games - and the other undoubtedly a lifesaving move. Kids had was a considerably more interesting been playing with toy guns ever since device: a futuristic looking light-gun real firearms were invented, so weaning called “The Zapper.” them into a whole new concept of entertainment through an established, The addition of these two accessories tactile symbol of youthful recreation quickly paid off, and they did indeed kick provided a valuable introduction to a start the collapsed industry; getting kids future market that might otherwise off the streets and back in front of TVs never have developed an interest in where they belonged. videogames. And it wasn’t long before some genuine In 1984, when the U.S. market devoured sidearm style made it across the borders itself and the public began lynching and into our arcades. In 1987, Taito anyone who even uttered the word graced us with the awesome one-man war machine known as Operation Wolf. any kind of progress within previous though the gameplay returned to the way to revel in your daily videogame This spectacular scrolling shooter featured games was made, while Operation Wolf single shot tedium of the Zapper’s Duck violence fix. If only someone would mediocre graphics, standard sound set us free to riddle the screen with Hunt. What really raised an eccentric invent a PlayStation accessory that effects and uninspired music. But none of virtual lead without care of consequence. eyebrow was when Time Crisis II found sprays blood all over your face whenever that mattered once you saw the kick ass There was no point having an Uzi and its way onto the PlayStation 2. you shoot someone up close, John Woo Uzi mounted on the coin-op’s cabinet! trying to save bullets with frugal sharp could retire a happy man. shooting; strafing every living thing and If you happened to have two light-guns, This magnificent piece of hardware needlessly blowing shit up was the only the Time Crisis sequel offered the dubious catapulted Operation Wolf into arcade method of progress here, and we finally opportunity of going John Woo on the Valhalla overnight. The realistic looking got to know what it felt like to go to war enemy’s ass! If, like me, you’re a fan of submachine gun (which has been as a well-armed, invincible maniac. the hyper-violent action, flying blood, considered the pinnacle of designer kneecap shots and gun-crazed anarchy of weaponry ever since Arnie first Once the sequel, Operation Thunderbolt, Chow Yun Fat’s off-the-shelf macho brandished one with indiscriminate style was released, we were naturally very characters in Mr. Woo’s films,Time Crisis in The Terminator) was precisely what excited about the prospect of a two II took on a whole new dimension. the melancholic arcade creeper was player version of the classic Op Wolf looking for. The recoiling action gave the mayhem. Unfortunately, the limited Storming in and emptying both clips into Uzi a sense of dynamic realism that magic of the original meant the novelty some generic bad guy is a sensational belied the cartoony graphics onscreen, had already passed, leaving behind a and coupled with a grenade launcher decidedly average game which could button on the front of the gun, the never recapture the cold steel thrill of delightful power of carnage suddenly the original Uzi-‘em-up. And so it was placed in the hands of a deranged youth with many light-gun games down was a wonderful feeling. through the years. The genre had reached an inevitable impasse that Op Wolf completely did away with an occurs when clone after clone revisits inherently tedious aspect of practically the same old tired gameplay. all light-gun games that came before it: an unreasonable emphasis on single shot Sega’s 1994 Virtua Cop refreshed accuracy. We were constantly obliged to matters somewhat when it took shooting refine our sharp shooting skills before games into that elusive third dimension, For all my ranting and raving about from a safe distance with the perilously letting the bullets fly free without care of long arm of high-velocity justice. accuracy, a more recent venture into the arcades left that notion fully turned on Of course, it’s not just the hardware that its head. Konami’s 1999 sharp shooting makes a decent shooting game work. An extravaganza, Silent Scope, took the example of both how to do it right and concept of single-shot accuracy in wrong can be found in Sega’s shooting games and expanded it to magnificent zombie wasting gore-a-thon dramatic new horizons. The light-gun in series, House of the Dead. The third question was a superb rendition of a installment most accurately touched on sniper’s rifle, complete with spotting the hallowed ground of the living dead scope, quivering crosshairs and blissfully movies, with a wonderfully tactile pump unaware enemies. action shotgun for putting the undead back in the ground. The scope of such a The cabinet’s monitor displayed an weapon was far reaching; no more exploded view of the entire scene, while unrealistic shooting off screen to reload, pressing one’s eye up to the mini screen a weapon that could actually cut a mounted within the spotting scope of the swathe through the stumbling hoards rifle provided a cleverly calculated and, most importantly (and this might magnified target. Holding the highly seem insignificant, but bear with me), accurate rifle steady was no small feat, you can attach a torch to the barrel. particularly with the long range shots, but as soon as that bad guy ambled While this might appear a minor aspect unknowingly into your crosshairs, a slow of the thrill-a-minute zombie-thon, the exhale and gentle squeeze of the trigger gun-mounted searchlight was an would cause his head to explode like a important aspect of HOTDIII’s gameplay. watermelon in a microwave. Bloody Any zombie film fanatic will agree that marvelous! Silent Scope offered an no living dead film is complete without embarrassingly absorbing voyeuristic our protagonist tiptoeing through a pitch experience; assassinating wrong-doers black room with a distinctly insufficient torch, only to illuminate a ghoul leaving the player feeling like a total crouching on the floor two feet away, spaz on the arcade floor, vibrating feeding on the last poor sucker who themselves for the want of repelling a wandered through the room without standard zombie drone. turning the lights on. This small, but vital, aspect of gameplay made for a The long and celebrated history of the spectacularly chilling few minutes of light-gun proves that processing power tension; scouring the dark room for that alone does not make a game. It takes an elusive flesh muncher, then firing in inordinate amount of inspiration to build panicked fury when it turns out to be a success around this most popular of right in front of you. You feel a genuine videogame peripherals, which is also an sense of relief when the lights come back integral aspect of one the most up and it’s open season once again. unforgiving genre’s the industry has ever known. The fourth (and current) game of the series, however, fell into the same trap Spanner has written articles for several as many other shooting games. Rather publications, including Retro Gamer. He than examining the undead genre and is a self-proclaimed horror junkie, with a tailoring the game to reflect the many deep appreciation for all things Romero. well-established premises, the designers simply stuck a different gun on the cabinet. This time, it was the faithful old Uzi, but House of the Dead IV completely botches the reloading process HOTDIII mastered. Rather than fluidly reloading a high-powered shotgun, the player has to vigorously shake the Uzi to simulate inserting another magazine into the gun, eFocus is the anti-E3. It’s small and When we stumbled on a dance pad in comparatively quiet - dancing girls, rock the middle of the floor, the logical thing bands and fire twirlers tend to be absent for me to do was give JR a hearty shove - so it’s possible to have a conversation in its direction. I mumbled without shouting. Most of the attending “C’monishllbefun” as he stumbled toward companies are small and eager for the table and the waiting attention, so there’s no half-assed representatives, concealing my display with a big sign and a monitor intentions to make another man dance cycling expansion pack screenshots. It’s for my entertainment. They looked at us an event that showcases cool, upcoming somewhat askance, giving the half-filled products, like the NIC that (I think this is glasses we were carrying a rather what they said) reads your thoughts to suspicious look, for make no mistake, determine which packets are important Captain Morgan was the Third Man in and makes your gaming faster, and thus attendance that evening. merits its $100 price tag. Something seemed amiss as the rep In other words, eFocus is a singles bar scrolled through the songs to begin the around closing time. The girls can be demonstration. I’d never heard of any of pretty hot, sometimes there’s them, which forces me to admit to a desperation in the air and hustlin’ skills quiet interest in rhythm games. earn you much more than a big name on Sometimes, I go home, shut the blinds a badge. More importantly, there’s free and show off my dancing skills when I drinks. As we rolled in, I maneuvered am absolutely, positively sure I am onto Contributing Editor JR Sutich’s wing, alone. This is my secret shame. I’m no and we began to prowl. In between connoisseur of the rhythm genre, but checking out new games and thought- something about the song titles just reading hardware, we fed outrageous lies seemed off. I didn’t have time to share to cute female PR reps (“JR used to be an my thoughts before he was on the pad, East German swimmer. And a woman.”) bouncing up and down to a cheerful- because they’d believe it, or they’d sounding synthesizer and guitar opening pretend to believe it, and that was good that lacked the Pocky-covered intensity enough for us. of a typical Dance Dance Revolution track. Lyrics scrolled across the screen, and I had fantasies of the liquor giving me if not actively hostile, to the very values clarity came upon me with strange and some kind of crazy dancing skills, but you hold dear, I contacted Digital Praise terrible speed. The words were not the these were the desperate hopes of a and arranged an interview with one of mangled Japanese-English or nonsensical man facing a firing squad. I have no the founders. Call it the aftereffects of techno lyrics so common in this genre. rhythm, and my normally terrible an angst-filled adolescence, but I always No, I’d thrown a friend and colleague dancing skills had a layer of fine like talking to the outsider. head-first into the den of piety. A quick Caribbean rum over them. I was about glance at the sign above the booth to make a tremendous ass out of myself. Peter Fokos is one of the founders of confirmed my suspicion: Digital Praise. Halfway through my complete and utter Digital Praise, and serves as their CTO/ And even I was socially aware enough to failure at a Christian dance game, I Creative Director. He has an insider’s realize that stumbling up to a Christian wondered if this was a penance of some pedigree, with stints at Activision, Disney game publisher with a drink in each hand kind and I slinked away to attempt to Interactive and even The Learning was a bit of a faux pas. regain my dignity. Company. When The Learning Company shut down their Fremont office, he was left Obviously, there was only one thing to It was a classic clash of cultures. The looking for work. Around the same time, do. Mumbling, “Do what you want to the gaming establishment and its audience he tells me, “I had read a Wall Street girl, just leave me alone,” I attempted to treat Christian game publishers as Journal article about Christian games. make good my escape. The crowds were bizarre outsiders, aliens from another [Being] a Christian in the game industry tightly packed around us, though, and world where people use the word had been a challenge, as the games had making matters worse, JR had finished “spirituality” in a serious sense. While become progressively [more] violent and his song. He turned to me with a the “Are games art?” debate rages obscene, so the idea of working on Cheshire grin and gave me a “Come on! endlessly in “our” circles, these same Christian games was very appealing.” It’ll be fun!” as he dragged me toward outsiders seek to make games that are the waiting dance pad. The rep was spiritually enriching. Disagree with their eager, now, either hoping for unbiased conviction all you like, but few publishers journalistic coverage or because turning seek enlightenment in addition to the tables on two drunken idiots was fabulous cash prizes. hilariously funny. I prefer to think it was the former. Musing on the difficulty of being an outsider in an industry that’s indifferent, Entering into the Christian software as I anticipated their audience was the market wasn’t easy, he says, adding, same people frequently quoted decrying “There are a number of challenges. First videogames to the press - he said that is that most people have never heard of they had not. “Christians read books, Christian games, and if they have, they watch movies, listen to music and play do not have a high opinion of the games videogames. The difference is, they are they have seen. The second challenge is more selective of what they choose to getting our products into stores. read, watch, listen to and play.” Christian bookstores have only sold Bible software. They were not aware of The inspiration for the dancing game I He looked to an existing Christian game Christian games.” By contrast, “Mass played, Dance Praise, was simple, he company first, but they lacked the market retailers understand games, but says, “My daughter, Samantha, is home- resources to offer him a position. His they look at revenue per foot of shelf schooled. We wanted to find a way for wife suggested starting his own business space. Christian games do not get her to get some exercise on rainy days,” and, he admits, “I was rather skeptical special treatment in these stores. We but they wanted something that would at first, but God kept opening doors for need to sell through just like the rest of be fun. “We looked at some of the dance me [that] I didn’t think would open. I the games. Thankfully, we have games on the market, but didn’t like the also asked two friends I knew from my overcome these challenges.” way they portrayed women or the music church to join me: Tom Bean, our CEO, they used. Samantha suggested that we and Bill Bean, our VP of Sales and After their games won some awards, it create our own dance game using the Marketing. After much discussion and got a lot easier, and Digital Praise’s music our entire family enjoyed: prayer, we formed Digital Praise.” What games had another advantage that soon Christian music.” they saw was “a glaring hole in the game got them shelf space. “Christian market. While Christians have been bookstores that have put our games on They explored the idea, looking at “a expressing their faith through other the shelves have found that they bring in couple of the other dance games on the media, such as books, radio, television, customers that may not have been market, but [we] decided we wanted to music and movies, other than Bible visiting their stores before. And mass do something more than just dancing to software, there was very little quality market retailers have found that our a beat. Dance Praise displays all the Christian software. With my background games can hold their own alongside the lyrics of each song. The difference in the game industry, I knew it could be traditional games on the shelves.” When between Christian music and secular done, just no one had done it yet.” I asked if they’d run into any resistance - music are the lyrics, of course, so we felt that they had to be in the game.” In has to be in line with what is written are doing everything that God wants us seeking to turn the game into a group- there. Many of our people go over the to be doing.” friendly activity, they “added some game designs, and we even have our unique features like Shadow Dance, pastor look at some issues when we They don’t even consider themselves where one player creates the dance have a question.” outsiders, he continues, “We have steps and the second player has to published nine games in the last two match their steps. We also added an With the design complete, they needed years. Our games are in many traditional Arcade mode, so you had to think about music and a distributor. “Our distributor retailers like Circuit City, CompUSA, which steps you should hit and which to into the Christian retail market is EMI Office Depot, Fry’s, Apple Stores and skip, [as] some steps had negative CMG,” Peter says. “They also happen to Amazon, so no, we don’t feel that we are consequences for you or your opponent. hold the license to many of the top outsiders. We may be a niche market We also added a duet mode where you Christian artists in the industry. Our right now, but we are praying that it will dance along with another player and CEO, Tom Bean, also happened to meet grow. I have faith that it will.” These work together to get the highest score.” Joey Elwood of Gotee Records. Both outsiders-but-not see “a lot of great Gotee and EMI were very helpful in games out there. There are some bad I asked if there were any special securing the music rights for the game. ones. We are just trying to bring a new considerations they needed to make in They play videogames, too, and were perspective to games. There are a lot of the game’s design, considering their very excited by what we were doing.” people out there that want the games audience. “First of all, we need to design they play to reflect their values.” Digital a fun game,” he said. “If it’s not fun, The rampant cynicism of the gaming Praise tries to do just that. then any message we hope to express industry doesn’t seem to dent their will not be heard. We don’t approach a morale at all. “We have actually received In 1972, Shannon Drake was sent to game idea by deciding if it’s appropriate. a lot of good press,” he says, though he prison by a military court for a crime he We start from the view of the message adds that there have been some cynical didn’t commit. He promptly escaped we want to communicate and go from remarks. “But for the most part, people from a maximum security stockade to there.” That’s not to say their religious are curious if there is anything to this.” I the Los Angeles underground. Today, views aren’t a factor, he tells me. “We asked if those cynical remarks got to still wanted by the government, he believe the Bible is the inspired word of them, and he responded, “No, it does survives as a soldier of fortune. If you God. If one of our products uses the not bother us. We would be bothered if have a problem, if no one else can help, Bible or a Bible story as part of the no one was talking about us at all. We and if you can find him, maybe you can game, then it needs to be correct. Even are more concerned [with whether] we hire Shannon Drake. if there are no direct Bible references, it Every console I have ever owned was shocked me into a $250 purchase. For purchased to play only one of the titles everyone who has ever strummed a available on each system. Sure, I’ve badminton or tennis racket while rocking gone on to buy more games for the out in their childhood bedroom, Guitar platforms later, but that first cherry high Hero’s guitar-shaped controller was like has been because of a singular entity. laying your eyes on the Holy Grail. For the and SNES, it was Shadowrun. On the N64, it was The owner booted up the game on the GoldenEye. Xbox? Knights of the Old office PS2 and began to thrash. Well, Republic. For the Xbox 360, it won’t be sort of. Unfortunately for him, buying the Shadowrun again. But for the Playstation game did not buy him any sort of rhythm 2, the game was Guitar Hero. And it whatsoever, and I quickly stepped in. I almost cost me my soul. may as well have tied off and injected myself with Black Tar. Thirty minutes “It all started with an open box and after first picking up the plastic a dream.” controller, I became the proud owner of my own copy. The added cost of a The day I spent $250 to play one game Playstation 2, high definition cables and started like any other in our office. I had a memory card brought me up to $250. been reading through some industry news, and at least two cups of coffee The events of the next few months were were running through my veins. It was a something that could have been good day. Until the box arrived. Stamped chronicled on an episode of VH1’s Behind with Amazon.com on the side, I first the Music. “When we come back, after a believed the box contained nothing more meteoric rise to the top, we’ll tell the than books for the IT Department. What story of how JR Sutich and his band, we didn’t know was the code monkeys Juggernaut, came crashing down to knew how to rock. earth, self-destructing in a fireball of alcohol, pain and broken dreams.” Out of the large Amazon box sprang forth a videogame box about the size of I played Guitar Hero for hours on end, a keyboard. Inside, though, was what every day, for weeks. I became the best player out of the group I spent most of simple truth that I realized during all of the future and pauses to reflect on the my time around. I put on exhibitions, this is that those who cannot do, teach. long, hard road they’ve traveled when playing “Unsung” by Helmet on Hard My success didn’t just have to be we go Behind the Music.” with my back turned to the TV. Don’t you measured by my actions and know that I was a shooting star? achievements. My vindication could come If I learned anything from Guitar Hero, Unbeknownst to me, however, my arch- at the hands of my son. it’s that Def Leppard was wrong. Fading rival, my nemesis, my ex-wife had away is preferable to burning out. I gotten her own copy of the game. And Shortly after the “passing of the torch” follow the development of the sequel to after selling her soul to the devil at the idea went up in flames (the poor little the game that almost broke me with crossroads, did the impossible: She beat guy’s fingers were just too small to hit earnest. Every scrap of information, “Bark at the Moon” by Ozzy Osbourne on the fifth fret),Guitar Hero 2 was every rumor and every leaked song list Expert. In front of me. Using my plastic announced. Finally, my prayers had been becomes something to collect and axe. Just like castles made of sand, my answered, for I had a new inspiration. I analyze. Now, with the Guitar Hero 2 sense of superiority collapsed. picked up my axe again and started to demo disc coming in next month’s shred. No longer was I concerned with Official Playstation Magazine and the “And then, things started to fall merely playing well enough to get game itself available for pre-orders, apart.” through a song, I played my own version it’s time to put the band back together. of practice mode. Failing a song no I began to practice even more intensely, longer discouraged me if I had managed without any progress. I had hit my peak to refine my technique. And slowly, the JR Sutich is a Contributing Editor for The and could not get any better. The game results of my re-dedication began to Escapist and is rumored to have been that had become my obsession now show. My practice paid off at E3 2006, banned from an online game during its mocked my efforts. I actually started when faced with the demo version of initial design stage. getting worse, becoming unable to Guitar Hero 2. Russ Pitts and I complete songs that I had finished blitzkrieged through “You Really Got Me” earlier. I avoided playing at parties, in by Van Halen, with me on Expert and case my friends, my fans, discovered my him on Bass/Medium. shameful secret. Eventually I came to terms with my failure to finish the game “After the break, Juggernaut prepares for and stopped playing altogether. The one their reunion tour, talks about plans for There is a reason why I managed to SNES pad was the default Action button. finishMother 3 on a Tokyo train. It’s more of a natural fit for a gamepad, really; your left hand is busy with the There is also a reason why I managed to directional pad, and your right hand is finishFinal Fantasy Tactics Advance on free to control five of the six main the toilet. gameplay buttons. Mother 3’s default control scheme keeps the Action button My Animal Crossing DS town has long set to L. To those of you who are sitting since been overrun with weeds, my down and playing it right now in the Ouendan save file is stuck on Ready comfort of your own homes or offices or Steady Go, my Mario Kart DS time trials schools or buses, this might seem rather are old and Mr. Driller can’t get past unusual. After all, unlike most India. But I managed to finishMother 3. roleplaying games, Mother 3 requires a Yes, Mother 3 was a labor of love that fairly strict command of rhythm to hit shows in the writing, animation and combo attacks during battle sequences, game design, and I say that even though and for most of us right-handers, we’re I have more or less moved past the going to be at less than full musical stage of my life where I have the capacity if we have to rock out with our patience for Japanese roleplaying games. left hand. I really, really liked it. But to me and the development staff of But that wasn’t why I finally finished it Mother 3, and perhaps even to the on my way home to Matsudo-shi, Chiba, producer, Shigesato Itoi, this makes about an hour or so out of downtown perfect sense when we’re standing on Tokyo. The reason why I made it through our packed Tokyo trains with our GBAs in Mother 3 has very little to do with its one hand, the overhead handles in the game production values and much more other and our Nintendo DSes sitting to do with the L button on my mournfully in our backpacks. For all of Advance SP. the DS’s potential for innovation, it simply can’t overcome the environmental Those of you who played Mother 2 might pressures of Tokyo’s 12 million people, remember that the R button on the unless you’re one of the lucky few who can consistently get a seat on your cars are common, and the public morning commute. And the PSP doesn’t transportation options tend to be handle much better; holding up that sufficiently roomy compared Tokyo’s beautiful screen with one hand is work notoriously packed trains. What other enough, never mind playing games. design choices get, well, lost in translation?

Finishing Final Fantasy Tactics Advance A few features have made it easier to on the toilet had nothing to do with its play more conventionally-designed plot or art direction or character design, games on the go: Quicksave and sleep though I didn’t particularly like a whole mode functions are standard for any lot of those. This had everything to do game that requires your long-term with the fact that I had to spend five attention, like the . Other minutes remembering my skills, designers might choose to find equipment, missions - basically, whatever compromise halfway: Treasure’s Gunstar I was thinking of the last time I played the Super Heroes is designed so that each game. And since most of my opportunities level is comprised of a few mini-levels, for quality time with the GBA came in at and the player’s progress - including approximately five to 10 minute score, damage and time elapsed - is increments, that relegated FFTA to a year saved after the completion of each mini- or so of toilets all across the world. To level, each of which takes a few minutes FFTA’s credit, that year’s bathroom breaks at most. Rather than the epic battles of were comparatively epic. shooters like Contra, GSH adjusts its required attention span to the very real Designing a game for one or two players possibility that the player is simply sitting in front of a TV or an arcade picking up the game for a quick shot at cabinet is a challenging enough task; beating his high scores. They’re not so what about designing a game for a friendly as to be playable one-handed, crowded subway car? I don’t know a though. Fighting games are, likewise, whole lot of Americans with long out of the question; while there are fairly commutes via public transportation - compelling Guilty Gear, King of Fighters and Street Fighter titles out for the GBA, late introduced an unfortunate meta-game they’re just as technically demanding as element to the fight. their console counterparts. I thought I was dedicated because I practiced Dee Getting used to the portable lifestyle Jay combos on the way to work; real puts some otherwise radical game design winners have to fight hard enough to get choices into a certain kind of context, one of the coveted corner spots by the too. Wario Ware and Rhythm Tengoku train doors so they can lean against the both share a mini-game structure that wall and play with both hands. seemed much more alien and innovative until I tried playing it en route to school. Other games, however, aren’t nearly as They’re already so disjointed that to take fun until you start playing them on public a break to switch trains or get off the transportation. I generally consider my bus doesn’t disrupt my flow in the least. time to be too expensive to bother with Likewise, the Bit Generations series level treadmills in any roleplaying keeps the graphics and gameplay so games. However, for the player on the simple that they’re ideal for picking up go, it’s not such a drag. Pokémon’s and playing, no previous time design made a lot more sense after investment necessary. I don’t even have getting used to a regular bus ride. Sitting to play it on the john. down in front of your TV and mindlessly leveling up or hunting for rare Pokémon Kind of humbling, isn’t it? We can spend isn’t that fun, but as something to do days sitting and reflecting on lofty while I’m taking the bus, it feels pleasantly theories of game design, attaching productive. And when I can maintain a highfalutin academics to explain why we slightly longer attention span, beating a like what we like. But sometimes what we level of Advance Wars 2 on my way to play is simply a function of where we are. work is enough to make me feel downright accomplished. Perhaps I could have picked my battles a little more wisely, though: Pat Miller has been doing this for way too Missing my train stops and getting to class long. Stop by his blog, Token Minorities, for more on race and videogames. EDITORIAL PRODUCTION BUSINESS Executive Editor Producer Publisher Julianne Greer Jonathan Hayter Alexander Macris

Content Editor Layout Artist Associate Publishers Joseph Blancato Jessica Fielhauer Jerry Godwin Russ Pitts Gregory Lincoln Lead Web Developer Contributing Editor Whitney Butts Director of Advertising JR Sutich Susan Briglia Web Developer Research Manager Erik Jacobson Chairman of Themis Group Nova Barlow Tim Turner Thomas S. Kurz

Contributors IT Director Shannon Drake Jason Smith Pat Miller Russ Pitts Spanner JR Sutich

Issue 64, © 2006. The Escapist is published weekly by Themis Group, Inc. Produced in the United States of America. To contact the editors please email [email protected]. For a free subscription to The Escapist in PDF format please view www.escapistmagazine.com