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Perempuan Nan Bercinta PEREMPUAN NAN BERCINTA Dedikasi Untuk Zahra, perempuan yang aku cintai sepenuh hatiku 1 '' or, cari perempuan mulia yang menentang sehingga D mati, cari perempuan yang menentang meskipun sudah mati." Barangkali itu suara bonda yang clidengar Idora. Dia tidak pasti apakah benar itu suara bondanya, atau bisik halus nenda. Dia tidak sepenuhnya mengerti. Apakah pagi itu tatkala clia menatap langit cli Jalan Ipoh, pada jendela yang memapar sebahagian puncak Genting, ada separuh pula panorama Setapak clan bangunan tinggi yang bersaing cli celah KLCC; apakah bondanya yang benar-benar haclir menyapa? Apakah bonda wujud cli wajah langit? Atau itu hanya fantasi pagi hujung minggu? Bonda sudah tiada, nenda juga sudah lama tiada. Tetapi clia seakan-akan berada antara dunia khayal clan alam nyata. Dia merasai, kewujudan ibunya. Roh ibu meliputi merata­ rata. Bonda terlalu banyak menderita. Terlalu banyak menahan sengsara. Masih terkerlip cli ruang mata, wajah bengis ayah. "Tengku seperti apa engkau ini, Melor?" herclik ayah, clan tempik lelaki tersebut bergema dalam telinga. PEREMPUAN NAN BERCINTA Wajah ayahnya yang bermata bulat besar dengan kening lebat, dan bau mulut nan mengasak hidung; terlakar kasar di hadapan ma ta. Idora memejamkan mata. Bayangan itu pergi. Benar, tidak ada suara bonda lagi. Hanya dia mengkhayalkan seorang diri. Pagi Ahad begini mungkin dia terlalu terbawa-bawa dengan resah sendiri. "Dor, cari perempuan mulia yang menentang sehingga mati, cari perempuan yang menentang meskipun sudah mati." suara itu masuk menyelinap lagi. Idora memejamkan mata, bermalas-malas di sofa. Matanya terkunci kepada catan "Woman" yang rapi tergantung pada dinding utama rumah. Catan, wanita yang tidak berpakaian itu dirasai sarat bentuk dan warna. Idora menghidupkan televisyen dan siaran National Geographic terpapar tentang sistem pembiakan singa betina. Muatan siaran itu menjengkelkannya. Dia mengubah siaran. Wajah "\vanita pertama" yang sedang berucap dengan gaya anggun menambah rasa mual. Tangan memegang alat kawalan jauh clan menekan siaran lain. Berita mengenai seorang politikus yang dituduh meliwat pembantunya menarik perhatian seketika. "Argh, kalau dia mahu meli\vat biarkan ... manusia harus diberikan hak penuh untuk bebas." Begitu gumam Idora. Betita itu disusuli pula dengan berita seorang ustaz reformis yang ditahan kerana mengajar agama tanpa tauliah. "Huh, ini satu kapal dengan aku. Siapa sahaja yang perasan progresif harus disokong. Di situ kita dapat masukkan doktrin liberal. Betapa kita harus membela manusia seperti ini." Dering telefon deras di telinga. 2 PEREMPUAN NAN BERCINTA "Panggilan dari Geneva. Persidangan Hak Asasi Wanita itu ditangguhkan, maksud aku tarikhnya dianjak sedikit ke penghujung bulan Jun." Suara teman seperjuangan, Quintilla mengalun. Idora yang memegang gagang berdecit, mengeluh. "Oh jangan sampai terlalu hujung. Aku harus bersiap untuk seminar di Sydney itu bukan?" Quintilla menggumam di hujung sana. "Nanci aku dapatkan tarikh tepat. Atau tukar panel, err hantar Priscillia?" Idora tidak menjawab. Quintilla menyedari, dia harus lebih memerhati apabila menerima undangan. Gagang diletakkan clan Idora memilih untuk menjerang air, menghirup teh panas seraya bertengkar dengan diri, apakah benar bonda ada menyinggahi aras 20 kondominium yang didiaminya itu. "Dor, cari perempuan mulia yang menentang sehingga mati, cari perempuan yang menentang meskipun sudah mati." Atau memang sejak akhir-akhir ini seperti kata Quintilla, dia sudah kelelahan diasak dengan satu per satu seminar sehingga mengalami semacam halusinasi. Quintilla pembantunya itu beria­ ia mendesak supaya dia menemui doktor. "Mungkin stres? Kemurungan?" dahva Quintilla bersungguh. "Mungkin perubahan alamiah." balas Idora bersahaja. "Ivienopaus?" tanya Quintilla entah lurus naif atau memang mahu berseloroh jenaka. "Alm masih muda, baru 38 tahun. Dan aku bukan sakit jiwa!" Kemudian mereka berdua ketawa. Ruang kamar pejabat di Sentul Baral meriah terisi derai gelak mereka. Tetapi, sekarang Idora tidak di Sentul Barat. Dia tidak berada di kamar pejabat Modest Women Oriental atau JVIWO. 3 PEREMPUAN NAN BERCINTA Dia kini di Jalan Ipoh. Di rumah, melihat wap nipis berkembang pada mulut cangkir lalu naik meruap menghilang di hadapannya. "Dor, cari perempuan mulia yang menentang sehingga mati, cari perempuan yang menentang meskipun sudah mati." Mata Idora mengerlip kembali. Dia meletakkan cawan berisi teh panas di atas meja hidangan, bingkas lantas mencapai beberapa surat yang baru diterimanya kelmarin. Ada beberapa surat daripada majalah dan akbbar yang biasa disumbangkan makalah. Beberapa surat lain daripada pertubuhan pembelaan wanita, sebuah buku berjudul T11ha11 Ma1111sia karya Faisal Tehrani, dan sekeping poskad dengan lakaran Beethoven. Buku tersebut ditolak ke tepi. Poskad itu disungguhi semula. Poskad dari Bonn, Jerman. Idora membaca. Bukan sekali ini dia membaca poskad itu. Semalam sahaja dia mengulang baca enam kali. Dia mahu membuangnya sahaja nanti. Tetapi masih bernanti-nanti, apa yang dia mahu tidak semestinya demikian keadaannya. Poskad itu daripada Bastian. Lelaki bermata hijau, berambut ikal dan senyum terkulum dengan gigi bersusun. Lelaki bersuara kalem dan sopan itu adalah lelaki Jerman yang agak menggugah rasa tika pertama kali dia berhadapan dengannya. ''Aku sepertimu, tidak percaya pada Melleus Maleficarum. Masakan Ku Dor, perempuan itu pendusta sepanjang masa! Tidak sempurna, hanya kerana ia dicipta daripada tulang rusuk yang bengkok sehingga amat bertentangan dengan kejadian lelaki. Aku kini di Bonn, seminar empat hari. Aduh, aku masih merindukan engkau. Kapan engkau akan mampir di Berlin lagi? Aku mahu kita kembali jalan iseng-iseng di Postdam Platz, ke menara Sony 4 PEREMPUAN NAN BERCINTA untuk menonton filem baharu clan menggetis donat seperti yang engkau gemari." Idora mendengus. Melleus Maleficarum. Karya tahun 1487 mengenai perilaku antisosial pada tubuh perempuan. Sebuah karya yang memberitahu haiwan lebih sempurna daripada perempuan kerana kejadian kaum itu terlalu tidak sempurna. "Perempuan sendiri yang bodoh. Perempuan yang bodoh begini kita harus penggal clan tebas mereka semuanya," ujar Quintilla tidak rasa bersalah berbahasa kasar. Idora diam, dia melihat di tangan Quintilla ada novel The Good Earth. Idora mernikir, berapa banyak wanita di dunia ini seperti perempuan yang digambarkan oleh Pearl S. Buck, mencekik clan menekup muka anaknya sesudah dilahirkan sehingga mati kemudian mendak:wa anak-anak itu mati secara alamiah. Idora meletakkan poskad daripada Bastian itu ke sisi. ''Argh Basti, aku tak akan mengulangi kesilapan bonda. Lelaki terlalu menderanya." Teh yang masih panas diteguk semula. Plato menyatakan hanya lelaki sahaja yang dicipta langsung oleh Tuhan. Hanya lelaki yang diberikan jiwa. Aristotle pernah menyatakan wanita adalah manusia yang tidak sempurna. Dan kemudian, bukankah tradisi Rom clan Helenia menjadikan wanita sebagai kelompok berstatus rendah? Tata semacam inilah yang menjadi tata kegerejaan apabila teologi Kristian merninjam, meniru clan mengekor buta sambil melakukan integrasi lintas dengan pandangan Yahudi kuno serta Romawi. Semuanya tanpa mernikirkan kelemahan logika. Gereja kemudian menjadikan wanita di bawah kaki kemanusiaan. 5 PEREMPUAN NAN BERCINTA Namun Idora tahu periuani;an paniang mcmbcri hak dau nafas kepada perempuan tidak pernah ada titik henti. Hanya sekarang teks-teks agama klasik yang penuh kontradiksi dan putar belit itu difahami sebagai satu upaya untuk menjustifikasikan gagasan besar endosentrik yang tidak ada clasar langsung. Saat berfikir seperti itulah Iclora bangkit, mencapai sebuah buku tulisan Milan Kundera clan menarik novel The Good Earth clari tangan Quintilla, lalu menyuguhkan karya Kunclera clengan kata-kata, ''.Jangan baca Buck, bacalah kerja Kunclera. Dia bilang biarkan perempuan buat semuanya. Perempuan adalah masa haclapan, dia mahu ewigiveiblich, keabadian feminin!" Iclora masih belum mengerti sepenuhnya tentang perempuan pada waktu itu. Kelak Idora akan memahami Barat yang tidak berclasarlogika itu telah berubah clari satu ruang ekstrem ke ruang ekstrem yang lain. Wanita sebagai haiwan clan kini, wanita apa-apa sahaja. Biar barat memanclu kita? Wajah boncla mengerlip kembali. "Dor, cari perempuan mulia yang menentang sehingga mati, cari perempuan yang menentang meskipun sudah mati." Teh panas dihirup kembali. Quintilla menelefon lagi. "Tarikh di Geneva, 24 hari bulan engkau berangkat. Pada 26 hari bulan bentang kertas kerja. Pada 28 hari bulan pula pulang ke Kuala Lumpur, clan 29 hari bulan terbang pula ke Sydney. Baik begitu?" "Lega juga." sahut Iclora. "Tapi di Geneva engkau akan satu sesi clengan Dr. AliTaqi, Ketua Pengarah FASEH." Iclora berclecit, "Tuhan, ticlakkah engkau boleh lakukan sesuatu?'' 6 PEREMPUAN NAN BERCINTA "Hei, aku bukan penganjur!" Quintilla mengingatkan. Gagang diletak. Idora mencatat pada B!ackbeny, juga pada buku catatan harian. Dr. AliTaqi. Seorang tokoh Islam, seorang prinsipal dengan pandangan sarwa tauhidik profetiknya. Pernah mereka berdebat dalam satu seminar di Washington D.C. Suara Idora keras melengking penuh emosi apabila Dr. Ali Taqi melemparkan alunan ayat al-Quran. "Saya sama sekali tidak bersetuju dengan Dr. Tengku Idora. Pengalaman Barnt clan Islam tentu sahaja berbeza. Pengalaman Kristian clan Islam tentu sahaja berlainan. Dr. Tengku tidak boleh pukul sama rata. Al-Quran telah memberi inspirasi malar untuk manusia khususnya dalam prinsip kesetaraan gender. Baca sahaja Surah Ali 'Imran, ayat 195 yang berbunyi, "Maka
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