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A WATCHUNG COMMUNICATIONS, INC. PUBLICATION The Westfield Leader and The Scotch Plains – Fanwood TIMES Thursday, December 12, 2019 Page 15 POPCORN The Irishman At 3 Hours & 29 Minutes, it all Depends® 3 popcorns One Popcorn, Poor — Two Popcorns, Fair — Three Popcorns, Good — Four Popcorns, Excellent By Michael S. Goldberger ert De Niro’s Frank Sheeran, hitman/ film critic Teamster boss, at a ripe old age in a “Fuhgeddaboudit” was the advice nursing facility from whence he re- from those who decided against climb- lates his life’s tale to nurses’ aides, ing the movie mountain that is Martin visiting FBI agents and sometimes Scorsese’s The Irishman, all three just us. Expertly shuffled flashbacks hours and 29 minutes of it. Dilemmas aided by a terrific switching of period presented themselves. How many correct art direction and hi-tech en- times will I have to go to the bath- hanced makeup draw us into this sor- Photo courtesy of Downtown Cranford HEATING UP THE HOLIDAYS...The Hot Chocolate & S’mores will return room? Should we skip breakfast, have did tale of tarnished majesty. It’s ugly, during the Holiday Shop in downtown Cranford. Weather permitting, it will be dinner now, pack a picnic lunch, or controversial and, we unfortunately Paul Lachenauer for The Westfield Leader and The Times located at Eastman Plaza Clock from noon to 4 p.m. on Saturday, December 14. maybe even book a room close to the suspect, an educative window into SOUNDS OF THE HOLIDAY...Scotch Plains-Fanwood High School Moonglowers If the weather’s not cooperating, the Hot Chocolate & S’mores will be a Cranford theater? The destinies of whole lives that part of our nature we’ve been Rhythm Section performs at Fanwood Holiday Celebration and Christmas Tree Vanilla Bean Creamery. were changed for those strict con- trying to purge ever since Oog clob- Lighting held last Sunday. structionists who wouldn’t succumb bered Eek on the head for that wooly to the tyranny of their bladders by mammoth he then dragged to his cave. Westfield to Celebrate Holidays with Downtown Cranford Holiday availing themselves of the small Indeed, fans of the brand, admit- screen, Netflix offering. tedly or not, become at least tempo- Elf Movie, Gingerbread House, More Me? Nope. I came this far in my rarily enamored of this parallel civili- moviegoing…lived through the days zation that thumbs its broken nose at WESTFIELD — On Saturday, An Elf’s Story, written by Westfield’s Shop Has Carolers, S’mores of when films broke in midstream, what normal society calls the straight December 14, starting at 4 p.m., all own, Kenneth Waddell, from 5:15 to CRANFORD – Downtown p.m. They’ll be caroling throughout before stadium seating coddled your and narrow. The organized mobster are invited to wear an Ugly Holiday 5:45 p.m. Bring blankets and chairs Cranford will hold its Holiday Shop downtown to help get you in the holi- frame and prior to the advent of whis- rationalizes that the above-ground Sweater and join in for a group photo for the outdoor screening. Visitors this weekend, Friday through Sun- day spirit! pering waitresses asking if you wanted world is a con and weighted against at Downtown Westfield Corporation’s will have the chance to meet Chippey day, downtown. There will be holi- Also, the Hot Chocolate & S’mores cheese-drenched nachos. I will see it his ilk. Whereas, in the agency of the holiday celebration, the Elf and Mr. Waddell. day caroling, in-store specials, pro- will return during the Holiday Shop! on the big silver screen and damn the Mafia, the playing field is evened. XTRAVAGANZAlorious, to be held The festivities will also include a motions, discounts, and more. This is Weather permitting, it will be located consequences. Thus began my jour- But unlike most permutations of by the South Avenue Train Station Walk-in Snow Globe for family pho- a great opportunity to wrap up holi- at Eastman Plaza Clock from noon to ney, knowing full well that, unlike this evil culture, the Scorsese take Tree. A DJ will be spinning holiday tos, a ‘Gingerbread’ House open from day shopping! 4 p.m. on Saturday, December 14. If The Ten Commandments (1956) and this go-round has deflated the air of tunes, and visitors can warm up with 4 to 5:15 p.m., gingerbread cookie The Celebration Singers will be the weather’s not cooperating, the several other movies of storied length, any romanticization. While De Niro’s a cup of Kilwin’s hot cocoa decorating, and attendees can enter in performing during the Holiday Shop Hot Chocolate & S’mores will be a there’d be no intermission and prob- assassin is full-bodied, he is The holiday event will conclude the Candy Cane Pull—25 families on Friday, December 13, from 6-8 Cranford Vanilla Bean Creamery. ably no reward of a bumper sticker sociopathically bereft of any true hu- with the 30-minute outdoor movie, will win a prize! noting my feat, nothing I might attach manity. Like his mentor, Joe Pesci’s next to the one informing, “This Car fantastically drawn bigwig, Russell Gift Wrapping at Lord & Taylor to Continuo Arts Orchestra to Hold Climbed Mt. Washington.” Bufalino, he is merely a butchering Thirsty, intentionally dehydrated, I automaton, his movements and deci- Holiday Show Spectacular was ready. Gosh knows that any hasty sions geared to prevailing in the hid- Benefit Westfield Historical Society SUMMIT — The eleventh annual ber Orchestra will present many pe- return from the facilities would surely eous, kill or be killed chess game in WESTFIELD – The Westfield His- Gift wrappers are scheduled from 10 “Christmas Time in the City” Holi- rennial holiday favorites including bring those dreaded words from my which he is a zealous participant. torical Society will offer holiday gift a.m. to 6 p.m. day concert will be presented on Sat- works by Faure and others. Concert- movie partner: “YOU MISSED THE Pending a rather fatalistic, philo- wrapping at Lord & Taylor of Spread the holiday cheer even further urday, December 14, at 7:30 p.m. at goers will enjoy the distinctive French MOST IMPORTANT PART.” And sophical wrap-up in the last half hour, Westfield. Each holiday season, the this year and have those Lord & Taylor the Lawton C. Johnson Summit theme of this year’s program. The of course, said unseen portion, to Scorsese whimsically counterpunches Lord & Taylor store of Westfield al- gift purchases wrapped while helping Middle School. A production by the Continuo Arts NJ Children’s Choir forever be known as the “lost foot- the perpetrated bravado with brief, lows volunteers from the Westfield the Westfield Historical Society. Continuo Arts Foundation, this con- and a visit by Santa always have sur- age,” will stunt your cinema knowl- printed overlays identifying a charac- Historical Society to expertly wrap The Westfield Historical Society cert features over 200 singers, seven prise vignettes in store for young chil- edge in the same way that being out ter and informing when and if they shoppers’ gifts as a fundraiser for the celebrated its 50th anniversary in choirs from Union, Morris, Essex and dren and they can look forward to an sick with a cold when they taught the were ultimately rubbed out or sent to Society. For a small donation, volun- 2018. Since 1968, the 501(c)(3) non- surrounding counties, soloists, the opportunity for picture taking after 8-Times Table in grammar school the pokey. It’s a reminder that for all teers will wrap holiday gifts, right profit Westfield Historical Society Continuo Arts Chamber Orchestra, the performance! kept you from becoming President. the glorification rendered these cold- there on the spot at the gift-wrapping has worked to preserve, interpret and Santa, audience sing-a-longs and spe- Tickets are $10 and $20. Doors And you know what tragedy that un- blooded murderers in the service of station located near the center of the encourage interest in history, cial guest artists! will open at 7 p.m. Call (908) 264- leashed. our guilty thrills, crime usually doesn’t store on the first floor. Shoppers can Westfield, and its residents through The individual and combined 5324 or visit www.continuoarts.com All this said, for those still wonder- pay. These are bad men who “don’t choose from a variety of beautiful educational efforts and community Continuo Arts Ensembles & Cham- for more information. ing whether to attempt the moviegoing need no stinkin’” rationale. wrappings and ribbons. outreach programs. version of crossing the Great Plains But sadly, as was exampled with The schedule is as follows: Satur- For more information on the by covered wagon, Mr. Scorsese’s G.D. Spradlin’s crooked Senator Pat day and Sunday, December 14, 15, 21 Westfield Historical Society, visit encyclopedic buffet of things Wise Geary in The Godfather: Part II and 22; and Tuesday, December 24. http://westfieldhistoricalsociety.org. Premiere Stages Presents Guys is pretty good but not necessar- (1974) and as is seen every day in the ily great. However, for those who finaglings of a Congress that has all Reading of The Wolf simply can’t get enough gangland jar- but abrogated its Constitutional duty Peter and the Starcatcher gon, non-stop mob hits and the recita- in defense of power-hungry corrup- UNION – Premiere Stages at Kean and discuss her script was surreal.” tion of Cosa Nostra doctrine, and tion, the justification is regularly fed. University, in partnership with The Ms. Macdonald is an Australian/ who would like a respite from con- Still, the true nature of what bad is At Hillside Ave.

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