Paramatma Satcharita - Part 2

By: Sri Vasantha Sai

Copyright 2013 Sri Vasantha Sai Books & Publications Trust

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or stored in a retrieval system or translated into any language for any means without written permission of the author, except for brief excerpts or quotations with appropriate credit to this book. This version is made available as an electronic book (eBook) in a protected file that should not be reproduced in any website other than www.vasanthasai.org without written permission from the author. Dedication

Dear Swami,

This creeper cannot live without the Tree. It cannot be. I offer this 'Paramatma Satcharita', all my tears and all my Prema, so the Sai Aswatta Tree can soon be planted on Earth. ... dust of Your feet, your fire flower,

VS CONTENTS

Chapters 1. Star Angel . . . . . 1 2. In Front of Eye without ‘I’. . . . 5 3. Cow in a Tiger Skin . . . . . 9 4. Open Packet, Open Secret. . . . 14 5. Open Box . . . . 27 6. Impossible Possible . . . . . 32 7. Parrot Prove . . . . 36 8. What is the Price? . . . 41 9. ‘I am not' . . . . . 46 10. How Many Yugas Penance for God to be Born? 50 11. Head of the Tastes . . . . 55 12. Primal to Temple . . . . 59 13. Not Kanaka Dhara, Karuna Dhara . . 63 14. Four Becomes One . . . . . 69 15. How is Swami’s Body? . . . . 74 16. Who Can See God? . . . . 80 Epilogue 86 Chapter One

Star Angel

Though Swami said that He would surely come in December, I was afraid to write. Though I asked Him to show some proof, Swami said, ‘Sure I will come. You write! You write.” I then told this to Eddy and Amar and asked Amar to look for some proof. In the shed, he found a torn piece of printed-paper with some verses from the Bible written in Tamil. This is what was written: Noah made an ark, where only eight people could be protected from destruction... Destruction comes through sin, protection comes through faith. The ark was used to protect the family of Noah, just like baptism protects mankind... How did the torn paper come? It is only Swami who has given. Swami said that before He comes in December there will be mass destruction and many great changes will happen. The five elements will push out the pollution and evil from them. I have written this in the epilogue of ‘Atma Satcharita’. Swami has now given proof for this through the Bible quotations. There it is written, ‘It is through sin, destruction comes and through faith protection comes’. Kali Yuga man is facing many destructions now only due to his karmas. As the Swami who comes now is total and new, the five elements must be purified in order for Him to live on the earth. All must be made holy and sanctified. The New Avatar comes as the fire of Truth. It is only wisdom that protects humanity. Swami then gave a small wooden picture of the Virgin Mary from inside the Vadakkampatti bureau. There, Mother Mary is seen with the angel Gabriel, who is offering flowers. Beneath them is a large church. There was something written in Greek around the picture. We sent it to Evelyn, who said the picture depicted the Annunciation of the Virgin Mary and the church was dedicated to the Virgin in Tinos. Later, Halinka sent a birthday offering to Swami and I. In it she wrote comparing the life of the Virgin Mary and my life. She wrote of the seven joyful moments in the life of Mary and compared them to mine. The piece was entitled, ‘The blessed Virgin Mary’s joyful moments’ – and took the form of seven points in her life.

1 1. The Annunciation of the blessed Virgin Mary - here Archangel Gabriel appears to Mary and announces that she will become the mother of the Son of God. 2. The blessed Mary is informed that Elizabeth, her cousin, is in the family way. Elizabeth gives birth to John the Baptist. 3. Birth of Jesus. 4. The adoration of the three kings (wise men). 5. Finding Jesus in temple. 6. Resurrection of Jesus. 7. The last period of Virgin Mary’s life when she leaves the earth and ascends to heaven.

My joyful moments 1. Swami announces to me in meditation that I am Radha. This was a joyful moment for me. How much happiness I experienced when Swami announced this! From a young age I wanted to marry Krishna, I was always thinking of this. When Swami told me I was Radha, it gave me untold joy. 2. On 27 May, 2001 Swami asked me to make a Pottu Mangalya, which He then touched and blessed. It is through this He showed that I am His alone. From my young age, I wanted to marry Krishna. Swami did all through this second announcement. Now I belong to Him alone. I wanted to marry Krishna as a child, but was married to another. I thought why I have married this human being. This caused me to suffer greatly and cry. Swami then asked me to remove that Mangalya and wear His pendant on my Mangala Sutra. He said even if my husband died, do not remove the Mangala Sutra, the sacred thread. “Do not stop wearing yellow saris. You are Nithya Sumangali, Nita Kalyani the eternal bride!” After my husband died, Swami asked me to make a new Mangalya, which He touched and blessed in Brindavan. Through this, He confirmed that I belong to God alone. Now I am Nithya Kalyani, Nithya Sumangali, Nithya Kanni, the eternal virgin.

2 3. Swami asked me to come to the Vashista Cave and said He would marry me there. We went there and spent the whole night in meditation. Then in the early hours of the morning, Swami appeared in my vision and said, “You as Pure Consciousness merge in Me Pure Consciousness. Merging is marriage.” It is in this way I merged in God. Yet, even though I merged with God, I remained alone. This is for performing Swami’s Avataric task. As I am in this state, I undergo great suffering and am always crying, suffering in both mind and body. 4. Here, Halinka compares the three kings or wise men with the Ashramites. When the three kings came to know of the birth of Jesus, they went in search of Him. Here there are ten people who came to know of me and came in search of me. They are now with me in the ashram. Whatever I write of Swami’s glory, they make into books and publish them. They are chosen by Swami and are here helping me. When we leave, they will disappear with Swami and I. They will then come again in the Prema Avatar time. It was after my merger in Vashista Cave that Swami asked me to build the ashram. This is also one of Swami’s announcements. 5. Just as Jesus was resurrected, Swami will also come again. Here she compares Swami coming to the Hill House in a physical form. It is from here Swami will come out in December. How many different places has Swami been in since He left His body? Finally, He came to the Hill House. It was in 1996 that Swami announced that I was Radha. How many divine announcements has God revealed since then! These announcements are not made by angels or wise men. This is God Himself announcing truth. This truth has grown, step by step and emerged as 110 books. 6. After this Swami will go to Prasanthi and appear there. He will then stay there permanently and come to Mukthi Nilayam. Jesus resurrected but He did not stay in the world. Swami comes anew and will live here, finishing His Avataric task. After His task is completed, He and I will leave this world. It is only after He comes will the Stupi and Vishwa Brahma Garbha Kottam begin to function. 7. Halinka compared how the physical form of the Virgin Mary left the world, with the way my body will leave the earth. My body becomes, youthful, virginal and wholesome. Then in my last moments, it will be transformed into a jyothi and merge with the body of Swami. This is something that has never happened in the world or in any other Age. Thus, this is not the story of a name and form. It is Paramatma Satcharita. In the chapter, I wrote yesterday, Swami asked me why I always think in a negative way and that I should think positively. I then wrote explaining why. From my young age, I have written a self-examination diary each day. I taught this habit to my children. I have also asked those in the ashram to write a self-examination diary. I performed this self-examination and prayed to God with tears. This is my main work. All others are functioning centered on the ‘I and mine’. I have no ‘i’, all is only Swami. I

3 have no self-confidence. It is only if I have 'i', will self-confidence come to me. Yet, I always have one fear that if I do something wrong Swami will leave me. This is my fear. I want God. This is my unquenchable thirst. We are born here to transform ourselves; otherwise, we will be born again and again. Swami gave a 2007 calendar picture with the form of a big white lingam on the front decorated with flowers. There was written: Self-confidence is basis for faith in God Baba I am different. I cannot live in this world, I am afraid of the world. Seeing the changes in my body, I am filled with fear. I caught hold of God as I fear that old age, disease and death will come to me. I did this for 73 years and am crying. I have no I. This is 2007 calendar picture. At that time, I was stopped from going to Prasanthi. I cried so much as I could no longer see Swami. Through this separation, tears and yearning, this Hiranyagarbha lingam becomes the Vishwa Brahma Garbha Kottam. This is my heart. It is here, my and Swami’s feelings unite. This becomes the star vibration, which goes through the Stupi and changes the world. What can we tell of this Self- confidence of God confidence? I cannot tell this as I am in the ‘i without I' state. Today Swami gave a small angel form made of wood. It had an orange dress and was holding a yellow five-pointed star in its two hands. On her head there is a yellow halo, I asked Swami about this and He said that it was the ‘star angel’. It goes out to the world bringing the star vibration to all. This star angel brings the star vibration to the whole world. The yellow color indicates my feelings, as I always wear yellow saris. The orange dress is for Swami’s feelings; He always dons an orange robe. The yellow halo, indicates the Sahasrara. It is through this that my and Swami’s feelings go and change the world. This is not the Angel Gabriel, but the star angel. Swami wrote before, He is Self, she is Selfless. He is Paramatma. I have no selfishness in me. Due to this, I have no self-confidence. I have no self- reliance and so only depend on Swami. Without Him, I am nothing; I have no individuality. There is only Swami in my thoughts, and thoughts of others.

4 Chapter 2

In Front of Eye without ‘I’

Yesterday, Satya Poddar asked about some doubts he had. He asked me, “Where did Swami draw Prema’s picture and where did He draw your picture?” I explained all to him. I then asked Amar to bring the box where we keep Prema’s picture to show him. I asked, “You also search in the box and see if Swami has put my picture there!” He then brought the pictures, which Louise and I drew. We talked how I first saw the form in the kumkum and then how I drew a picture of what I saw.

19 November 2012 Evening meditation Vasantha : Swami, You have not given my picture? We looked at the picture of Kumkum Lakshmi. Swami : That is your picture. You put that in the book. Vasantha : I drew this Swami. When I went to the bathroom, you told the same. Swami : Only I am talking to you in all places. This is correct. I alone drew in the kumkum. Seeing this, you drew the picture. Both are the same. You put this in the book. Vasantha : I have had a thought for the last two days to check the box where Prema’s picture is. Swami : This is that. When you saw it, the picture came. Put this picture in the book, this is only your picture. Vasantha : Swami, is it true? But, I did not draw a body on the picture. Swami : It is true, Prema’s picture also has no body. There is only a face. The face is enough. Vasantha : Swami, why am I like this? I want to tell all about Satya Poddar and Nanina... why am I like this? Swami : This is your nature. You always want to tell of others good qualities. Vasantha : Swami, now, at this time I should only tell of Your glories! Swami : What does it matter, all is okay. End of meditation

5 After we looked at my picture, I went to the bathroom to wash my face. At that time, I thought, ‘This is the picture that Swami drew in kumkum, shall we put this in the book?’ I immediately heard Swami’s voice, “Yes, you put this in the book.” Swami does not only talk with me in meditation, I hear His voice 24 hours a day. Thus, wherever we talk it is the same as meditation. In 2007, I wrote the book, ‘7 Days with God’, there I asked Swami to show a picture of ho w my body will be in the last period. Swami then drew a form in the container of kumkum. All of us saw it. I then drew the same form on paper. When Louise came, she compared what I drew with Kaveri’s picture and then drew. I then made some adjustments and we sent the picture to Swami. Swami took the picture. I have written about all this before.

Swami said that He would give my picture and has now said to put this picture in the book. A few days ago, I asked Swami, “How will You give the picture? How will it come?” Swami said, “It will appear in front of your eyes.” I told this to all and we laughed. How will it appear in front of my eyes? I then opened the door to the other room and saw the picture that I had drawn in front of me on the shelf. I immediately took the picture and looked inside. I asked them to take it out of the frame and see if there was anything inside. There was nothing there and we all laughed. Swami has now asked me to put the same picture in the book. We can only wonder at God’s omniscience. We never thought that this was the meaning of ‘it will appear in front your eyes’. Whenever I open the door of my other room, this picture is in front of my eyes. Though it is in front of my eyes, my eyes do not fall on it. My eyes never see anything other than Swami. I only saw it after Swami said, ‘The picture will appear in front of your eyes!’ My eyes see all things, yet nothing becomes imprinted in the mind. When I open my door there is a shelf in front of me, but I do not pay attention to wha t is there. It is only now we can understand the real meaning of what Swami has said. The picture Swami gave of Prema was only of her face. It is the same with my picture . The face is enough. Through the face, we identify everyone. If the face is covered a nd only the body is seen, we cannot identify who it is. We see many people on the street. Yet it is only those who are familiar to us that we can immediately identify. Now if any one new comes to the ashram, I tell something about those in the ashram to introduce them. In the same way, when Nanina and Satya Poddar came here I

6 want to tell something about them to the new people. So I spoke about the sari. I gave Satya Poddar’s wife the sari, which was given to me by Nanina. Nanina and Satya Poddar help in the growth of the ashram. Thus, I gave what one has given to me to the other. I tell all in an indirect way. Their faith in me and their thirst for wisdom is the reason for all. I then asked Swami "why am I praising others?" Swami said that this is my nature and indicated a poem that I learned as a child. That poem is the very basis of my life. Here is the poem. The one who wants to be praised by others Must follow one thing without forgetting Always tell of the good qualities of others And do not tell what is bad Show humility to all If one wants to be praised by others, then they must only see the good qualities in all and never see the faults of others. Always be humble to all. From the day I first read this till now, I always only tell of others good qualities never seeing their faults. This is my nature and what I have practiced. I have not done this for the sake of name and fame. My habit is to only see my own faults. I see my own faults and the good qualities in others. I learn from all. As I have learned lessons from each and every one, I asked Swami to grant world liberation in gratitude to all. This is why Swami says I always see the good in all. I do not speak of their good qualities to flatter them. Flattery means to praise directly. I do not tell in direct way. I write in the books and tell wholeheartedly. I do this without any expectation. I have asked for liberation for all to balance my debt. If I were to expect anything, then my debt would only increase. On 19 November 2012, Swami gave a card. On it was written: Be a creeper and wind yourself around the Lord On the back of the card was printed Om Sri Sai Vasantha Sai Namaha and the following verse: If You are a fragrant flower I will become a bee and hover around You If You are the infinite sky, I will become a tiny twinkling star If You are a mighty mountain, I will become waterfall If You are the infinite ocean, I shall become a river and merge in You It is the same as a song I wrote very early on in life: If You are a tree, I am a creeper I f You are a flower, I will become a bee If You are sky, I become star If You are the ocean I am a river...

7 I wrote thousands of songs and poems like this. I wrote in a chapter called ‘Creeper Vidya’, how the creeper is unable to stand-alone; it needs the tree. If the bee wants to live, it requires the nectar of the flower. The stars require the sky. The waterfall, which cascades, needs the form of a mountain. If not , it cannot be called a falls. In the same way a river cannot be alone, it must merge back in the ocean from where it was born. This is my life. I wrote this in the Prema Sai book. At that time, I said this creeper cannot live without the tree. It cannot be without it. In response to this Swami said, “This tree also cannot be without the cre eper! This has never happened before, tree cannot be without the creeper. What is this? It is the Aswatta tree. The Primal Soul, God, this tree, never comes to the Earth. This is the first time the tree is planted on Earth. This Vasantha Creeper’s tears and Prema alone plant the Sai Aswatta tree on Earth."

"The body I am currently in is covered by yoga maya. Once this maya is removed, I will transform into my real body. "

8 Chapter 3

Cow in a Tiger Skin

19 November 2012 Today in the morning, Swami gave two papers. On the first was written: I am the forest candle You are the light You are the ocean, I am the stream I am thee, thou are Me We are One eternally Then: 4 nuit 14 .. T land ; v v v6 ...two more symbols: a sprouted seed and other shapes.

19 November 2012 Evening meditation Vasantha : Swami, what have You written? It is like my writing? Swami : I am writing your feelings, all that you have told before. Radha has also told the same before. Vasantha : Whatever I think, You tell. Swami : Whatever you think and what I think, both are the same. After we merge, will our thoughts differ? Will My thoughts be different and yours different? End of meditation Again and again, whatever I write and tell, Swami writes. It is in this way He reveals my feelings. Swami and I merged in Vashista Cave. Thus, whatever I think, Swami does and whatever He thinks I also think. Our thoughts are the same. I am born from Him, I am His half. Now let us see the poem. The first line says: I am the forest candle, You are the light This world is like a forest. I have never been here before so I am afraid. In my autobiography, I wrote that I am like one who has been left in a forest full of wild animals. I am a candle in the middle of the forest. Swami is the light of this candle. He is the light, which guides me. This Vasantha holds the candle and offers Lord Sathya Sai’s wisdom light. The people of the world have lost their way in the Samsara forest and are roaming, without realizing the purpose of their birth. This candle shows Swami’s wisdom light and melts itself, leaving nothing remaining.

9 Swami is the mighty ocean. He is the Poorna Avatar. He is the light of Sathya Jnana, true wisdom. If He is the ocean, than I am the stream. This stream is flowing and running toward God. It will not rest until it merges with Him. It goes up, down and through the dirt; it goes beyond all. It carries with it all the dirt of man, animals and birds. Will the stream run until it reaches Him, or will it dry up? I contemplated on this: crying, wailing, filled with worry and my tears flowing. If it is a great river okay, it will run its full course, but what of the small stream. O Swami! Swami! Come soon and break Your banks and accept this stream. O Sai ocean! You cross over Your shore and come to me! I am thee, thou are Me We are One eternally

Swami, I understand this! Yes, we are in the Eternal state. We are one! But here, You left me in the forest of the earth alone! You left me! You say "I am thee, thou are Me", but, how then is it? How am I to accept this? On 18 November, Swami gave a card. The card was a golden color and in the center, the form of the world was seen. There were seven birds flying around it. Surrounding this were two circles, where ‘Seasons Greetings’ and ‘Happy Holiday’ was written in different languages. Around this were stars of different colors and sizes, 82 in total. Only now have I begun writing about this, as we sent out emails to find out what the writing meant and the different languages used.

19 November 2012 Morning meditation Vasantha : What is this card You have given Swami? Swami : This is the Golden Age. The seven birds indicate your seven chakras of kundalini. The star shape vibration goes out through seven chakras and changes the world. Our feelings spread throughout the world. Vasantha : I understand Swami. What of the 82 stars? Swami : The number '8' indicates Vaikunta, we '2', came from Vaikunta. It represents our feelings. It is our all-pervasive feelings alone that make all in the world free birds. End of meditation Now let us see. There were 82 stars on the card. It is through our feelings, the world changes. Swami and I came from Vaikunta. It is through the Stupi our feelings are sent out to the world in the star vibration filling up everywhere. These vibrations redeem all from the cycle of birth and death and makes them free birds. The seven birds indicate the 7 chakras of kundalini. All the birds hold olive branches, which shows that peace will spread the world over. The world becomes the Golden Yuga. The golden circle on the white card, indicates Pure Consciousness.

10 20 November 2012 Meditation Vasantha : Swami, please tell about the birds? Swami : The seven birds indicate the 7 chakras. There is one large bird, which seems to be carrying the world on his back. This is Garuda. Garuda carries Vaikunta on his back. Before, I showed Garuda carrying the Hiranyagarbha lingam on his back. Now, only we two are in the world and he carries the entire world. Vasantha : Swami what are the three circles? Swami : This is Gayatri, Bhur, Bhuvah, Svah. It indicates the three worlds. Vasantha : Now I understand, I will write. End of meditation Before we only saw seven birds. Now after Swami told, another large bird is seen under the African continent. Garuda is seen clearly carrying the world on his back. Some time ago, Swami gave a picture of a lingam. There Swami and the form of Garuda are seen descending. Swami said that Garuda brings Him to establish Vaikunta in the world. This was the previous picture. Now in this picture, Swami shows Garuda carrying the world. Garuda carries

Mahavishnu and Mahalakshmi in Vaikunta. Now in Sathya Yuga, where all in the New Creation are only Swami and I, Garuda comes and carries the entire world. This shows the Earth becoming Vaikunta.

11 Each day Swami gives something and shows how the Sathya Yuga comes and explains step by step. The entire world fills with peace all the suffering of Kali is removed. Swami said that the three circles represent the Gayatri, but this is the new Gayatri: Om Saieeshwaraya Vidmahe Vasantha Saiesaiya Dheemahi, Tannoh Sathya Prachodayaat

At the ashram, we chant this mantra throughout the day, every day.

20 November 2012 Meditation Vasantha : What have You written, ‘I am you, you are I am?’ Swami : I am always thinking of you and so have become you, Aham Vasanthasmi. You become Sathyam. As you have no 'i', you do not have the power to rule and control. Thus, I become you and create. All perform sadhana and then merge in God. Yet, you desired to create. It is for this you make Me born as you. The Avatar comes in a name and form to establish dharma. You always think only of the one name and form of God. You make Him to be born as you. I left the body and come again in the same body. Yet, all the feelings are yours. Now, I make creation anew according to your desire. I make all as Vasantha and Sathya Sais. This has never happened in the world so far. Thus for all these days, I am only thinking of you, in thoughts of you. Now I become you. It is only Vasantha who now comes as Sathya Sai, with full ruling and controlling power. Vasantha : Swami, I want Your nearness. I want to see You. Swami : These are My feelings also. You do not want worldly life. It is through My feelings you think to create the world anew. Vasantha : I understand Swami. Now I will write. End of meditation Now let us see. Swami thinks of me and becomes Vasantha. I have written of this before. Through ‘Aham Brahmasmi’, I am ever in thoughts of Swami and attained the God state. I want to make creation anew but have no 'i'. Because of this, the power to rule and control is not in me. Thus, my kundalini came outside as the Stupi. Swami left His body, but did not return to His place. As His Avataric task had not finished, He remained in Swarga. From there, Swami went to the Swarga that is there at the Prema Avatar time in our house. Swami proved He was in the Prema Avatar house by giving me the bed sheet, pillowcase, bolster cover; all the things He used there. From there, He came to the Vishwa Brahma Garbha Kottam. To prove that He was there, He again gave many things: gems, the Chudamani, etc.

12 Swami gave many gems for the nine planets and asked me to make a Mangalya. As His state changed, He gave many things to prove this. From the Prema Avatar house, He came to my room in a feelings form. Then from my room, Swami took a form and was like a wandering sanyasi in Haridwar. Swami gave a picture of a sanyasi at this time, to prove He had taken a physical form. Swami then took His own form and went to Shimla Cave. To prove this, Swami gave the picture of Shimla Cave. It is from there He went to the Hill House at Puttaparthi. Once there, Swami gave the bed sheet, pillow cover, all the things He used there. It is in this way, Swami proves all. For all this time, Swami has been in thoughts of me, thinking only of me. He has now become me. Swami becomes my 'i'. As I have no ruling and controlling power, I am unable to create. Swami now becomes me and creates. I have written in the book, ‘Beyond the Upanishads’, how my feelings take form. It was then I wrote how Radha and Krishna will now change roles. This has now become reality. All perform sadhana and attain God; the cycle of birth and death then comes to an end. Yet, I did not attain God and instead, wanted to create. As I did not attain the one form of Swami, I vowed to make all the men in the world as Sathya Sai and all the ladies, as Vasantha. This is now happening. I am unable to create. I have no ‘i’. Swami is also the Avatar and in the Witness state. Thus, He cannot create and go beyond breaking the Karmic law. Thus, He accepted all karmas on His own body and left the body. Now through my tears and wailing, Swami comes again. My thoughts and feelings make Him born anew. As I am constantly thinking of this, the one name and form of Sathya Sai, Swami comes again in the same form with the same name. Yet, inside Him are only my feelings. He is like a cow covered by the tiger’s skin. Inside are the feelings of the cow, my feelings. Calm and gentle. On the outside, Swami comes like a tiger, with full ruling and controlling power. Now Swami Himself creates. He is my 'i'. He fulfils all my desires and remakes the Creation. Now all is ready. When Swami comes, our feelings will go out filling all. This has never happened in this world before. It is a new concept. Thus, Swami explains it in many different ways. Today when we were returning from the Garbha Kottam, a large orange sun was seen rising in the sky. There were no rays visible. We took a photograph. The sun appeared to be white in the picture and was more like the full moon. I immediately said, ‘The sun has become the moon!’ I then told the ashramites what Swami had said in meditation, 'Swami now comes as the Prema moon'. Now, He has shown proof in the sky. On another piece of paper was written ‘Nuit’, the French word for night. I asked Swami and He said after 4 days of destruction, the 14 Worlds become Poornam. The earth fully changes to the Vasantha Yuga and is filled with Vasantha’s six divine qualities. All changes through the seven chakras. Swami showed this through the form of a sprouted seed. Now, my feelings fill the entire world changing all.

13 Chapter 4

Open Packet, Open Secret

20 November 2012 Today, Swami gave the following message: Amma to Devotee In this world God is only live Then all are Maya Be brave. Swami is always with you Difficulties are passing clouds’ Chant His name. Read His stories You feel better, I send Vibuthi With mantra – add it in water, drink and chant mantra Swami has come to give liberation to all. Soon Sathya Yuga Come to M.N. Love is truth/faith Believe Forbearance Awareness Sacrifice truth Selfless Total acceptance Total surrender Love is not thinking about oneself Our truth nature Love is God = Swami = Amma Why is Amma called Prema and Swami stands for Sathya, while He is also pure love? Love is My form When you experience love, you experience Me. While we don’t have to pay attention to planets, since they don’t have any affect at all. When we only focus on God. Amma says, ‘Then we don’t need to speak of them.”

14 Blind Forgiving Did Amma speak a different between Sathya and Prema

Bliss 2 Lakshmi Sacrifice. page 19

  21 November 2012 Evening meditation Vasantha : Swami, You have given a wonderful message. Swami : It is only for you. Vasantha : Swami, if You give me vibuthi, You will prove in front of all, that what You have written is correct. Swami : Sure, I will give. Do not be afraid all will be okay. End of meditation

After Swami told this, I told all to search for vibuthi. Yamini went and searched everywhere. She went to her room and found the box we used to use for abhishekam on the shelf in her room. Inside, there was an opened packet of camphor and an opened packet of vibuthi. The camphor was in very large pieces. She had been keeping the box for more than two years. All wondered how the camphor had not melted. I said Swami has now given vibuthi according to the message He has written. 21 November 2012 Morning meditation Vasantha : Swami, shall I use this vibuthi? Swami : Yes, use it. Take some each day. Before I gave small pieces of camphor. This indicated the ‘I without i’ state. Now through your feelings, I become Vasantha. This is ‘I am I’ camphor. I become you and change the world. Now you are Sathya and I am Prema. Thus, your blind forgiveness comes to Me and I bestow Mukthi on all. We now change our roles. This has never happened in this world before. God has never become a jeeva! A jeeva may become Shiva, but this is the first time Shiva becomes jeeva. Before the two packets were sealed. Now they are both open. Vasantha : When will You call me? Swami : I will send a messenger within one week of coming and will call you. We met first in Vadakkampatti. At that time, you did not know who you were. Now you have realized. When we see each other now, it is as God and His Shakthi. Before the packets were sealed, the secret was not revealed

15 outside. Now, open packets indicate the secret is revealed. It was covered who you and I were; all was hidden. Vasantha : Now I understand Swami. You will come? Swami : I will surely come. Before it was small pieces of camphor; now I become you and do all. If I enter you through transmigration, I would not be able to change you. You now enter Me and make Me do all. You become Me. End of meditation

My body is in a very poor condition. I have been taking medicine. Thus, Swami wrote a separate message for me, 'This world is maya. God alone is real. Be brave, Swami is always with you'. This is true. Swami is always with me. Whatever I suffer, all difficulties are for removing world karmas. Swami says all are like passing clouds and to chant the mantra. In 2001, when I was in Vadakkampatti, Swami told me not to chant the mantra, ‘Om Namo Narayana’. It was at that time I stopped chanting and only chanted Swami’s name. Swami now tells me to begin chanting again to bring Vaikunta down. Next, He wrote: add vibuthi to water, write ‘Om Sai Ram’ and drink after meditation. This is not a habit of today or yesterday. I have done this since coming to know of Swami. Whenever I meditate, I place a tumbler of water in front of me, add a pinch of vibuthi and write, ‘Om Sai Ram’, and then cover the tumbler and meditate. After meditation, I drink the water. Over the years, Swami has given many packets of vibuthi through our many messengers. It is this I add to the water and drink. Swami has now given the new opened packet of vibuthi and asked me to use this. I have written in ‘Prema Sai Pt. 3, Sai Digest', a chapter called 'Camphor Vibuthi' and drew three charts explaining all. At that time, we were staying in Nicola’s apartment in Whitefield. There Swami gave a sealed packet of vibuthi and a sealed packet of camphor. The vibuthi took on the fragrance of the camphor. I wrote about this at the time and compared it to the jeeva who attains Shiva through sadhana. If the jeeva who attains Shiva wants to create, it must separate itself in two, one as Vasantha jeeva and the other as Vasantha Shiva. I then wrote and explained through the three charts how Creation comes about through action. Now Swami is doing the same. He now comes as Vasantha Shiva and makes creation anew. Before the two packets were sealed. Now, both are open. Swami said at that time who we are was covered and hidden. Now after Swami comes He will call me and show the world who I am. He will do this in front of all. This is the meaning of the open packets. Swami first gave small camphor pieces to indicate my ‘I without i’ state, when I was writing the Prema Sai book. Now the camphor is in big pieces. This is the ‘I am I’ state. It is only Swami who can tell in this way. I am not in this state. It is God’s natural

16 state. Thus, the pieces of camphor are large. In this world, an individual jeeva has attained the Shiva state. But here, Shiva becomes jeeva. This has never happened in this world before. This is a new concept. After Swami comes, He will send a messenger to call me. The first time we saw each other was in Vadakkampatti. At that time, we did not know who we were. When we see each other now, we will know who we are and our relationship. We will see each other as God and Shakthi. Before, all was in a secret and hidden way. The open packets with the large pieces of camphor show that the secret is now revealed to all. In the Prema Avatar book, I wrote how Swami transmigrates into me and tries to change me, but He is unable to do so. Swami said at that time, “Nothing other than wisdom can come to you; nothing worldly can come near you.” Thus, my feelings now totally fill Swami. Though He cannot transmigrate into me, I am able to transmigrate into Him. Swami said that He cannot do it, but I can. This all happens through the power of love for God. Even if God Himself tries, worldly matters will not come to me. At 5 am in the morning, Nicola went to sweep the Garbha Kottam. At that time, the front door was open. Others witnessed this. One of the doors was bolted shut and the bolt of the lock on the other door was fully opened, but the door open. How is it possible for one door to be bolted and the other have its locked fully turned, but still be open? When we open the doors, we usually turn the lock to open it and then unbolt the other door. It was a great wonder! No one other than Swami can do this! Swami said the packets were now open to indicate the revealing of the secret. Now as proof for this, He has shown the Garbha Kottam door open. At night, Amar went around the Stupi and saw the light on top of the dome had been switched on. How did this happen? We never put this light on? As all great truths are being revealed, Swami Himself shows in different ways, proving that all is true. These are things that have never happened in the world so far. As I write about this, Swami demonstrates the truth of all through different wonders and in unique ways. Swami has said that He will surely come and grant Mukthi to all and come to Mukthi Nilayam. Swami then wrote ‘Love is truth or faith’ and then gave a list of ten points. Believe - This is the first point. It is only if one totally believes in God can they attain Him. The only way to attain God is to have full faith. Faith is important in both worldly and spiritual life. It is important for both. All must attain God. For this, we must practice and follow the path, which is shown, by the sages and saints. We must then practice in full faith. Only if there is faith can one attain God. Forbearance – It is only if one possesses forbearance will bad habits and evil qualities not come to him. Forbearance is an important milestone in the life of a sadhaka. If it is there, then only can sadhana strengthen. If you have forbearance, then love arises for all. Love is Truth. Love Is God. We must not only show love to God, but to all. If we believe that God is in each and everything, we will show love to all. If we realize that God is verily the Indweller in all hearts then love and forbearance will come to us.

17 Awareness – It is this alone that can redeem us from the cycle of birth and death. We must have awareness each and every moment of our life in every situation. If we possess this constant integrated awareness, we will surely attain God. This is what Swami writes in the beginning. In this world, only God is living, all else is maya, unreal. If we carefully practice this, this is awareness. Other than God, nothing is real. If this is deeply imprinted in us, awareness comes to us by itself. We must examine each feeling that arises in us every moment. It is for this reason, I ask all to keep a self-examination diary. I taught this to my children and ask that all here in the ashram do the same. We must contemplate again and again, ‘Why am I born? What is the purpose of life?’ It is through this constant contemplation that awareness is born in us. It arises naturally. Until awareness comes, we will have to live in maya. Sacrifice truth – What does this strange title mean? How to sacrifice truth? This indicates my life. From my young age, I have cried for God. Finally, I attained Him, Swami. My unquenchable desire was to marry Krishna. I spent all the time imagining our marriage. As I thought, so it became, Yath Bhavam Tat Bhavathi. Swami married me and then separated from me after six years. It was then I began to perform intense sadhana crying and yearning for God. I followed many austerities, took many vows. It was only after this much sadhana that Swami revealed He alone had married me. I am His Shakthi. I am born from Him. Yet, I sacrificed my Swami for the sake of the world’s welfare. When I knew that my marriage was with Him, I could have happily waited for Him or when I merged with Him in Vashista Cave, maybe I could have remained in a calm and peaceful state. Yet, I wanted to share Swami with all. Ever since I was young, I have never had the habit of enjoying anything alone. I wanted to share with all. In the same way, I refused the state of Jeevan Muktha, which Swami bestowed on me. I said that I do not want the bliss of Mukthi until He liberates all. This is the sacrifice of truth. This is the sacrifice of Sathya Sai, of Sathyam. A person gets some sweets and eats them, enjoying them alone. It is not only sweets, but money, wealth, whatever he has he only wants to enjoy and experience for himself. He will not even share with his own brother or sister! We are in the land of Bharath, where Rama was born as a man and led an exemplary life to demonstrate dharma to all. He showed how brothers should live, how one should lead an ideal family life. How to live and serve one's parents. This is my habit, I share everything with others. At the highest level, I do not want to experience the Mukthi, which I attained, until all can enjoy the same. This is a crow's nature. A crow always shares with others. Thus, Sage Kaakabhujandar Maharishi wrote my nadis and the nadi for the Stupi and Vishwa Brahma Garbha Kottam. Thus, the sage comes as my father in the Prema Sai Avatar. Thus, the nature of the father comes to the daughter, that of sacrificing truth. Selfless – This is a wonderful quality. This is the quality that the ancient rishis possessed. They stayed alone performing penance and explained and shared whatever truths were revealed to them. Due to this, many disciples gathered and Gurukulas were

18 established. Whatever was realized in meditation was taught to their disciples. The students stayed with the guru for 12 years and studied with them. No money was ever taken. They studied under the Gurukula system, living away from the world for 12 years. They did not speak with anyone other than the guru and other disciples. They listened to the guru, observed his life and lived as he lived. It is for this Sri Krishna has declared to Arjuna in the Gita: “Arjuna, your mind is disturbed by listening to many things. Go to the saints and learn the art of living. You will feel it yourself how your mind remains peaceful by continuously doing service.” This is truth. Through their selfless lives, the saints and sages alone show how we should live. We can see how to live by observing their life. This is the art of living. This is the living man. We are born here not to be born again. If you do not want to be reborn, perform the service of seeing God everywhere. Yet, instead of this, man lives through ‘I and mine’. Only if we remove the ‘I and mine’, can real life begin. Man always keeps attached to his ‘I and mine’. His full attention and yearning is only on himself and those who he feels are his. Thus, he is ever caught in the cycle of birth and death. Only when we leave ‘I and mine’, will selfishness leave us and the awareness comes that ‘I am Atma’. Total acceptance- Total acceptance means equanimity. Whatever happens we must calmly accept all. We must remain unaffected by the dualities of happiness and sorrow, good and bad, and remain equal-minded. The Bhagavad Gita declares this is the Sthitaprajna state. Regardless of what happens, we are in a state of equanimity. It is very rare for someone to be in this state. To attain this requires a great deal of sadhana and full faith in God. Whatever happens, we must accept as God’s leela. Whatever actions we have done before, we experience now. All in our life is only reflection, reaction and resound. When the state of equal-mindedness comes to us, this is Shiva. When we attain equanimity of mind, we become Shiva. We attain the God state. Sri Krishna Himself tells of the qualities of the Stitaprajna. Every day Gandhiji preached these qualities to all. Here in the ashram we chant these verses each day. Total surrender - The state of total surrender and that of the Stitaprajna, one firmly established in wisdom, seem to be the same. Yet, they are different. The one who is in a state of total acceptance, lives in equanimity. Total surrender is to perform all actions without attachment and with no sense of ‘I and mine’. In this state, nothing is ours. We do not bring anything to this world and do not take anything with us. God alone is our only belonging. We are born from God and must again attain Him. For this total surrender is required. We must see all as God’s leela. For myself, I see total surrender from a different angle. I see it as total offering. One who offers the mind, intellect, senses, ego and consciousness to God attains the Jeevan muktha state. This is to be liberated while still in the body. This is what all saints and sages have done. The whole of my life is only offering. All offer God food and flowers. In the 9th chapter of the Gita it tells of Poorna Yoga, the yoga of offering.

19 Whatever we do, whatever action is performed is done with an offering mentality. What is worship? It is not half hour or one hour! When we offer each action to God, with the correct feeling everything becomes an act of worship. Whatever feelings I have from morning to evening I offer to God. This is real offering and worship. Does worship mean to perform abhishekam and offer fruits and flowers? It is not this. Does anyone ever offer God a rotten fruit? No, we only offer those which are fresh and new. Then how to offer our rotten feelings? How many births have been taken due to rotten feelings? How to offer these? Thus through the name of God you wash your thoughts. Always think of God, this is the only medicine to cure the mind of garbage thoughts. Would you offer God a wilted or drooping flower? In the same way, our thoughts are like wilted flowers. Man is ever roaming in the world birth after birth. Pull out these wilted thoughts and bring the form of God to your mind. Bring the form of your chosen ideal again and again to the mind. This is real worship. From birth, I am crying and wailing to God, other than Him, I have no interest in anything else. Thus, each and every feeling I have is offered to Him. All must die. After death all return to the sand. Yet, my body will not go to the sand. It must be offered to the greatest Avatar Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. This is the only reason why I am performing all my sadhana. In 2002, my mind, intellect, senses, consciousness and ego all became Pure Consciousness and merged with Swami. This happened through 64 years of sadhana. Then it occurred to me 'what sin did this body commit? Why was it not offered to Swami'? Thinking in this way, I cried and cried. Now ten years have passed, when will this body change and be offered to Swami? This is the total surrender. This body is an instrument in which the mind, intellect, consciousness, ego and senses function. If all the functions have been offered to God, then why not the vessel in which they functioned? Every day food is eaten. It is necessary for life. Many vessels are used to cook and prepare the food. In the same way, the body is a vessel. When we cook food, we use different vessels and fire and water are used. For the body to function, fire, water, air, the five elements are required. Thus, the different parts of the body are akin to different vessels. It is only when all functions correctly that there is growth in the body. Thus, all my body parts become different body vessels and I offer them to Swami. It is for this reason I want to offer my body to Swami. This is total surrender. Love is not thinking about oneself - If we saw through Swami’s angle what love is, there would be no one in the world like this. From the new born to the very old, all only think of themselves. They say ‘I want this, I want. I have this disease, I have that disease, the body is lean the body is fat!’ These are the only thoughts that all have. From the time of being a baby, the child only thinks, ‘This is my doll, this is my father, this is my mother'. The whole life is spent in this way.

20 Looking at oneself in the mirror only kindles feelings of the self. A person looks at themselves ten times a day to see how their face looks. It is said in the villages not to show a baby a mirror till after it is five months old. As I write this, I understand why this has been taught generation after generation in the village. The ancestors have told this so the child does not think of itself. It is for this reason they may have arranged all in this way. How those in days gone by have shown the mentality of man in this wonderful way. It is after this the child grows up, looks in the mirror and begins to decorate itself. It is from the age of 6 months that body consciousness comes. What is my state? After Swami separated from me, I stopped looking in the mirror. I vowed at the age of 22 not to look in the mirror anymore. In spiritual life, all may take many vows, but no one has vowed in this way. The mirror is the root cause for us to think of ourselves. Just as the mirror reflects our image back to us, the world reflects how we are. The world is a mirror that shows how you are. One example. If you are an angry person, all in the world are seen as filled with anger for you. Dharmaraja and Duryodhana prove this. Due to Dharmaraja’s nature, he saw all in the world as good. This was because he was a good person. Thus, the world mirrors himself everywhere and in all. The world mirror for Duryodhana reflected everyone as having his negative qualities. I see God in all. My sight does not fall on anything other than Swami. Thus, I see Swami in all places and at all times. I have no thoughts of myself. Some may then ask, ‘Why are you always thinking of your own body?’ This body must merge in Swami’s body. It is for this reason only I am thinking of my body. This is love. We came here to demonstrate this. Now, I see Swami everywhere and it will be the same in Sathya Yuga. I see Swami in all. This is the world mirror I see. When there is only love, then there is no selfishness. It becomes 'One Self'. Our Truth Nature - Our true nature is ‘I am Atma’. We are Atma, we are not the body. Nevertheless, we connect ourselves with the body and become immersed in ‘I and mine’. Through this 'I' (the ego), all desire money, post, fame, name, pride, everything. They work hard only to attain these things. Their entire life goes on in a vain way. Some do think of God, but only worship Him each day like a duty. They hurriedly chant two verses, show arathi and leave. It is just like any other task of bathing or eating. Yet, when they eat, they do it slowly, savoring each mouthful, tasting all. God though is worshiped mechanically and hurriedly. Yet, if man were to taste God just once, then no other taste would be relished. What is the true nature of man? It is God’s nature. Birth is given to us to attain this state. In the Bhagavad Gita, it is declared, Mamaivamso jeevaloke jeevabootha sanathanaha’. All are aspects of God. Everyone is an aspect of God. Yet, man forgets this. We all are God’s children. If our real nature is that of God, we must be like Him. The child must be like the Father.

21 God is Paramatma. We are Atma. All of us are Paramatma’s children. Yet, we leave the Paramatma, which connects to the Atma. We instead say that only those who are connected to the body are ours. However, those who are connected with the body do not belong to us. God alone is our own. This must become deeply imprinted in the heart. Now man does not live like a man, but like an animal. There is no purpose to an animal’s birth; man alone has purpose. That purpose is to attain God. If not, he must be born and die again and again. Enough! Awake and change yourself from the animal state to the human state. From there, move from the state of man to that of a sage. All must go higher and higher. Our real nature is Sathya, Dharma, Shanthi, Prema and Ahimsa. Everyone must practice these fundamental ideals. Love is God - Next Swami wrote: ‘Love is God = Swami = Amma’. He then poses the question, “Why is Amma called Prema and Swami stands for Sathya, while He is also pure love?" Swami asks why I am only Prema. God is the embodiment of love. He is the totality of love. His form is total love. We say God is the embodiment of love. It is due to this love that Swami descended here in human form. He came to show the path to those children who are going in the wrong direction; He came here for them. The people of Kali have slipped from dharma. There are no good qualities; all is only bad. Thus, Swami descended here. He came and preached to all how to live. He went all over India and gave discourses to all. He fed people's faith in God through the many miracles He performed. Swami re-established ancient Sanathana Dharma and performed many wonders. He established many schools and colleges to teach Bharath culture to children from a very young age. He set up the Gurukula system for educating children. Can any man or governments take on the gigantic task that He has accomplished? No one has ever seen such an embodiment of love as Bhagavan anywhere before. He has never been seen by mankind in any of the previous Ages. He performed giant water projects and set up free hospitals all over India. In addition to this, His service organizations are spread the world over. He showed the entire world His God nature. Through this, He taught faith in God to the people. Man must eat if he wants to satisfy his hunger. Swami came to show the path. When man realizes the reason for his difficulties, sorrows and suffering, he must turn his mind toward God. He must live for God. This is what Swami showed over the last 84 years. Other than this, He cannot do anything else. He cannot enter the Karmic law. Thus, He is called Sathya. God is only Sathyam. In every age, when evil increases, God descends as Avatar, destroying the wicked and establishes dharma. Why am I called Prema? Though I am born from Swami, I am not in the God state. I am in the ‘I without 'i' state’. I have taken the karmas on my body and asked for the liberation of all. This is the Mother’s state. Father’s guide and teach the children, they cannot do anything other than this. Yet, a mother will make her blood into milk for the sake of her child. She will then nourish and make the child grow. If a man is hungry,

22 he himself must eat food. God cannot eat for him. It is the same for the small baby. A mother gives her very blood as milk and makes the child grow. This is the difference between Swami’s and my state. I am now Mother of all in the world. It is in this state I took the karmas of all. Through my purity, I feed all my Prema milk. It is through the coming Sathya Yuga that Swami shows, demonstrates and explains His and my state to the world. I am always crying for the world in order to change their difficulties. In order to show this, Swami separated me from Him. This is ‘Love is God’. He separated Himself into two: one in the Witness state, Sathya, the other in the Mother state of Prema, love. Swami and I came to demonstrate this. This is what Swami wrote. Blind forgiving - Next Swami wrote the following in a box: Blind forgiving, did Amma speak a different between Sathya and Prema Swami wrote and put this in a box. It is through separating Himself in two, Swami shows and demonstrates that Sathya and Prema one. What then is blind forgiveness? In this world, we know ‘blind faith, blind followers’, but what is this blind forgiveness? We have never heard of this in the world before. My life is blind forgiveness. Through world liberation, even the bad karmas of demons are forgiven. It is this that Swami means as ‘blind forgiveness’. There are no differences, Mukthi is for all. Man must take thousands of births to attain liberation. Yet, I change all this and accept the karmas of everyone on myself. Swami and I then give Mukthi to all. This is not only for those who are on this earth, but I have also cried for the redemption of those in the spirit world to secure their freedom. Due to my devotion and Prema, Swami also took the world’s karmas on His own body. He Himself now comes as Vasantha through my feelings. Thus, this quality of blind forgiveness comes to Him. There is no one who can understand Swami’s Avataric task. Swami Himself comes as Vasantha. He comes through my feelings. The question may arise, ‘How will this happen?’ This is the task of the Avatar. It is through His Sankalpa, that He Himself separates in two as Vasantha and Sathya Sai. It is from the Vishwa Brahma Garbha Kottam that these emerge and change the world. As I have no ‘i’, I do not possess, the power to control and rule. I have written in many books that Swami left His body and will come again in a new body from here. This new body is a Prema body coming through my Prema. Swami now makes a sankalpa and through this, the New Creation comes. The idea of Universal Liberation cannot be understood by all. It has not happened in the world so far. Because I write what has never happened before, it is difficult to understand. Swami comes anew as 'Prema God' through my Prema. This is a new concept. As Swami now comes like me, He will show His blind forgiveness to the world. He then bestows liberation on all in the world. I cannot show you any examples as proof for this as it has never happened. How can I give you an example f something

23 that has never happened? Thus, accept it totally, do not judge or analyze the actions of God. Bliss two - In the next box, Swami wrote: Bliss two Lakshmi sacrifice page 19. Let us see what is written in the book Bliss, Bliss, Bliss Pt. 2: The fire of your sacrifice is burning Me. Not being able to bear the heat of your sacrifice the Lord is agreeing with all your requests. It is for this reason alone that the path of universal Mukthi has been opened. Even if you sow seeds under the best conditions, not all will germinate. But you possess all good qualities, so though you were thrown into the fire you have still blossomed." Swami said further, "By constantly crying you are failing to recognize the truth of who you are and to enjoy the bliss thereof. I am Mahavishnu, you are Mahalakshmi. We came here to transform the world and take all to Vaikunta." Mahalakshmi is the example for Prema, the primordial deity and origin for all riches. However, she disregards all this and is only interested in serving at the Lords holy feet. Mahalakshmi is the symbol for Prema and the beauty expressed through it. Generally, when people see a bride they exclaim, 'Oh, she is like Lakshmi'. She is never compared to Parvathi or Saraswathi. Vasantha : Radha and Krishna stand for Prema do they not? Swami : Radha and Krishna are Mahavishnu and Mahalakshmi. 

This is what Swami indicated. Mahalakshmi is the goddess of wealth. She is the primordial deity, the origin of all wealth. Even though she is the goddess of wealth, her real nature is only sacrifice. Her only goal is to perform Pada Seva to Mahavishnu. This is her only thought, her only purpose and her whole life. This is also my life. I was performing Pada Seva, but came to this earth due to my compassion. Yet, I have never forgotten the feet of the Lord. I have sacrificed all. I do not have any desires, but, I cannot forget Swami’s feet. It is for this reason I cry, wail and suffer. It is only now I understand Swami’s trick. It is only Mahalakshmi who is performing Pada Seva. There is no one else like her. Saraswathi, Parvathi, Shiva and Brahma are not like this. Thus, Mahavishnu (Swami) separated Lakshmi from Him. She is now crying for His feet. Due to these tears and yearning, she vowed to change the world. This is why the Kali Age changes to the Sathya Yuga. This is the fire of sacrifice that is burning Swami Himself. As He was unable to bear the heat of my sacrifice, He left the body and now comes anew. He comes again and fulfils all my desires, bestowing Mukthi on all. Generally, seeds only sprout under the best conditions. Here my good qualities alone are the seeds that I have thrown in the fire. Though this is so, they still sprout and blossom.

24 My seeds are: · World liberation · To marry God and merge in Swami’s physical form as a jyothi · To change this aged body into a youthful and virginal one · To make all in the world as Sathya Sai and Vasantha, Vasanthamayam I placed all these seeds of desire in the Sai Agni. In that fire, all sprout, become plants and blossom with flowers. Mahalakshmi is the symbol for Prema and beauty. It is only this Prema and her 19 qualities, which fill the world and make a beautiful Sathya Yuga. Love is my form... - Swami then tells: Love is my form. When you experience love, you experience Me. This is also, what I demonstrate in my life. I shower my love on Swami. From the time that thoughts first came to my mind, I have only had thoughts of God, no other thoughts. This love becomes my experiences. My experiences became the 110 books I have written. I experience Swami’s love in meditation. Through this experience, I see God in all. I see God in everyone and everything. Thus, I experience God through all. I wrote these experiences as vidyas. A small example. In the morning, Eddy always puts a small piece of paper for me to put the skins of three dates, which I remove before eating them. Yesterday, he forgot to put the paper. I then took the paper myself. Seeing this, he gave himself a few loud slaps on the cheeks. I immediately said to him, ‘Do not do in this way. It causes me pain, you are beating me. I am in you as Vasanthamayam.” It is in this way my love flows to all. Another example. One day, I brushed my teeth with a new soft brush. As I was brushing I suffered thinking, ‘How much pain I am causing you o’ brush with my half and quarter teeth?’ I felt that the brush was suffering due to my teeth. I wrote my feelings as a poem and wrote about it in a chapter. It is in this way, I feel the suffering of both living and non-living things. This is the reason why I show my love to all. I show my love as God is in everything. This is why Swami wrote ‘I see Swami everywhere’. This is coming as New Creation and the Sathya Yuga. It is this that Swami writes again and again and I am explaining again and again! While we don’t have to pay attention to planets... - Swami wrote about the planets next. While we don’t have to pay attention to planets, since they don’t have any affect at all. When we only focus on God. Amma says, ‘Then we don’t need to speak of them.” Swami has said that when He comes in December many great destructions will happen. This has been written about by many different people. Yet, we do not think of

25 these things and do not talk of them either. It is enough if our full focus is on God. Then nothing can affect us. Swami said that whatever happens outside Mukthi Nilayam will not affect us. Here there is only God and only thoughts of God. Worldly matters have no affect here. We do not think of anything other than God and Swami. Thus, no worldly matters can come inside. Swami’s thoughts surround Mukthi Nilayam like a ring of fire. This ring protects the ashram. The vibrations, which come from the Stupi, fill up Mukthi Nilayam not allowing whatever destructions happen in the world outside to affect us inside. In our house, no one had a horoscope cast. My father said, "We believe in God, what can planets do to us?" Thus, no one had a horoscope made. However, at the time of Kaveri’s marriage, the groom's family insisted that a horoscope should be done. It was only then we had horoscopes done for all three children. We did not know about the different planets and their positions. We only had full faith and devotion to God. This faith follows us. Now the rishis, sages and siddhas have all written my horoscope in the nadis. If you do not think of these things, then they will never affect you. Your faith in God alone is enough! If His Anugraha is there, then what can the graha do to you? (If grace is there, what can the planets do to you!) Whatever danger, suffering or difficulties come, if we have devotion and faith in God, all will be removed. How many dangers did Prahlada have to face? Yet, He only chanted the name of Narayana and this protected him. Swami’s name is enough. It can make the impossible, possible. It can make the impossible, possible in one second!

26 Chapter 5

Open Box

Swami drew a picture on one box. We all saw it, but could not understand the meaning. The box was found on the night of Swami’s birthday. 24 November 2012 Noon meditation Vasantha : Swami what is the message on the box? Swami : Virat Purusha separated into two and creation began. From here, Om emerged and filled the space. Vasantha : What is the heart shape? From there many V(s) are emerging. Swami : The creation is coming from our heart as 'S and V’s, so all will come as S and V. Vasantha : Swami what is the box? Swami : You see and you write. I will reveal who you are. End of meditation

On the box was drawn a big seed, which seemed to be separated into two parts or flaps. It was like the Virat Purusha form. It also looked like the two halves of a peanut. The Virat Purusha is the embrace between man and women. Here it separates into man and woman and creation begins. On one part was a face and on the other part Swami drew a lingam in the shape of an S and another lingam in the shape of a three. This indicates the coming of the third Sai. There was also a circle in which He drew the letter B. Swami also drew a big S with two hearts. The hearts seemed to be in the shape of S and V. Above this Swami drew C 1, meaning the first creation. In the middle of the two parts, Swami wrote ‘coming.’ Above this, circular vibrational patterns radiating out. Within the vibration, Swami wrote JOY. Next to JOY was written AUM. Above the AUM was a heart. From the heart emerged S and V. Above this was the shape of a human body, which also was separated into two halves. It was full of 'S and V’s. Next to the body was the shape of a box.

25 November 2012 Meditation Vasantha : Swami what is it You've drawn? Swami : The New Creation is coming from the Virat Purusha. It separated into two and comes as the Heart Creation. It comes out as Shiva and Shakthi and

27 enters every human being. Earlier, I had written inside a box. Now, I have written outside the box showing all are coming out of the box of the Vishwa Brahma Garbha Kottam and the Stupi. It is a joyful creation. Vasantha : On the other side, someone is seen sitting. Swami : That is Me. I am I coming as Vasantha. End of meditation The union of our hearts is the Vishwa Brahma Garbha Kottam. From there, the New Creation emerges. Swami’s feelings enter everyone as Shiva and Shakthi. It is a Heart Creation. These feelings enter everyone’s heart transforming their feelings into ours. Earlier, Swami had written Om Sri Sai Vasantha Saiesaiya Namaha mantra inside a box. This mantra is coming out as the New Creation. Now on the other side, there is a woman sitting crossed-legged. She is holding the letter 'I', which is inside the square. This indicates that He is coming as the ‘I am I Vasantha.’ I am in the ‘I without i’ state. Through my feelings, He is returning as 'I am I'. Through my feelings Swami’s form is coming, but with ruling and controlling power. Next to the woman is a shape of a fist, which is showing His controlling and ruling power. He is shows that the 14 Worlds are contained in His hand. On Swami’s birthday, He gave a picture on which He wrote, ‘God is neither distinct or distant from you.’

28 I asked Swami about this in meditation. Swami said, "Our feelings are Sathya, Prema and Wisdom. These feelings are all the uniforms." In this picture, the children are wearing uniforms and are standing in one row. Swami is standing in the middle. On one side of Swami are girls and the other boys. The boy children represent Sathyam and the girls Prema. Swami in the middle represent wisdom. This is what the picture is showing. In the New Creation, all women will be Prema and all men Sathya. All the children are born as wisdom children. Whern I was writing outside, I saw something pasted on the log of wood that was holding the thatch roof. It was a plain white sticker paper on which was drawn a Poorna Kumbha and the letter I. This is Swami coming as 'I am I'. At that time, He will receive a Poorna Kumbha welcome. This entire world is expecting His arrival. All are welcoming. A few days ago, the doctor came to see me. He has many degrees in the field of Siddha medicine. He has opened two to three hospitals. When he came here he said, “If you have any doubt you can call me even at midnight and I will speak with you.” It is for this I wrote one letter and poem for him. His name is Jayavenkatesh. His name reminded me of my life’s goal.

26 November 2012 Meditation Vasantha : Swami, why did I write a letter like this to the doctor? Swami : Whomever you see, you connect them with your life and write for them. The Lord of Tirupati is more connected in your life. Members of your family had the same name. They lived in separation and so you said if God is like this, then the people too are in separation. You will unite the Mother who is below with Bhagavan. Thus, you were afraid to go there. It is for this I wrote one poem calling you lonely lotus. I wrote how I Myself come down and take you up. It is now happening. I left My body and stayed in 7 different places. I will now come down and show who you are. End of meditation

In our family, my paternal uncle's name was Srinivasan and my aunt's name Alarmelmangai. My maternal uncle was named Tiruvenkatam and my aunt's name was Sengamalam. My uncle’s wives and children lived at their mother's home. Both my maternal and paternal uncle lived with us. This deeply affected my mind. From a young age, I thought 'why separation in the family'? I realized that the Lord of Tirupati lives atop the 7 hills and Mother Alarmelmangai resided in separation at the bottom of the hills. The thought occurred then 'Oh, this is the reason. If God is separate, then humans will experience separation in the same way. Therefore, I said "I will take Mother and unite her with her Lord." I took the vow that I will make everyone's Shakthi that resides

29 in the Mooladhara chakra rise and unite with Shiva atop the 7th chakra. Through my penance, everyone’s kundalini chakras will awaken and all will become Jeevan mukthas. This is world liberation. Swami wrote one song calling me, ‘Oh lonely lotus’, which is published in 'Vasantha Sai Satcharita' Pt. 1. In this song, Swami showed that He is with me in every chakra. Swami came from the top to bottom and we crossed every chakra together. Swami then left His body. For this, I am crying and wailing. Swami is now again coming down descending through each chakra of kundalini. Below are the 7 steps of His descent: 1) First in Deva loka, heaven. 2) He descended to the heaven at the Prema Sai house. 3) He came to the Vishwa Brahma Garbha Kottam. 4) From there, He came to my room in the feelings form. 5) He took the form of a sanyasi and stayed in Haridwar. 6) He went to Shimla Cave in His own form. 7) From there, He went to the Hill House where He is now residing. That is the 7th place.  Now, He has come out. After He returns, He will call me and show who I am in front of the world. This is our coming together. After we come together, we return to our abode. Swami is showing like this. The Lord of Tirupati alone is connected with my life. He is atop the 7 hills, while Mother is below. In the same way in our house, the members of my family had the same name and lived separately. I suffered very much. I then realized this is the reason for all the suffering in the world. When the Kundalini shakthi of all rises up merging with God, there will be no more sufferings. This is the reason I desire to take everyone from the Mooladhara chakra and unite them with God in the top chakra. I am asking for liberation for all. All become Jeevan Mukthas. Then there will be no sorrow. The Lord of Tirupati is connected more with my life. In our family, all came only for God’s Avataric task, so that their names and their wives names connected with Tirupati Swami and the Mother Devi's names. They split and lived in separation. Now Swami makes me perform penance and complete His Avataric task. This is the reason in the Prema Sai Avatar, all will come with the same names and live happily together. The surname of the doctor who came to see me was Jayavenkatesh. For him, I wrote one poem. On the back of that paper, I wrote a letter on how the Lord of Tirupati connects with my life. For this, Swami is now telling all.

30 Poem for Jayavenkatesh

Dear Doctor, In your busy life You come to see me You research Medicine Also research about Siddhas Write their life story Siddhas research my life story They find medicine For my soul disease Only Swami is my medicine I learn lessons in everyone, everything Showing my gratitude as all my Gurus I do penance for World Liberation as dakshina, You said whatever doubt, ask me midnight also This two words touch me Make me write this poem How I show my gratitude? I pray to Swami Live Long! Live Long!

31 Chapter 6

Impossible Possible

Yesterday, Swami gave a picture showing me sitting in front of the yagna kund performing yagna. The whole of my body is surrounded and covered by fire. The fire was also on my head. We did not take this picture. Swami only gave the color photograph. 26 November 2012 Evening meditation Vasantha : Swami, what is this Agni picture? Swami : You are in Agni. You make an Agni Creation. Vasantha : Swami, we have never seen this picture before. Swami : I Myself have given it. Vasantha : Why did You not come on Your birthday? Why in December? Swami : It will be around the time of Vaikunta Ekadasi. Thus, we bring Vaikunta down. All planets will come into alignment. This has all been planned before. Vasantha : Now I understand Swami. Will You call me? Swami : Sure, I will call you. Then I will come here. End of meditation We have never seen the picture of the fire that Swami gave. It was not taken by anyone here. Swami said He gave the color photograph. In the photograph, I am seen sitting inside the fire, making an Agni Creation. When I asked Swami why He did not come on His birthday and will come only in December, He said that Vaikunta Ekadasi falls in December and we are bringing Vaikunta down to the earth. His return was planned long ago.

32 26 November 2012 Evening meditation Vasantha : Swami, please tell me, shall I go and perform yagna again? Swami : No, no. All that has finished. Now you are performing writing yaga, Jnana Yagna. You performed yaga for the world. Though the karmas of the world burned your body like fire, you performed penance for the well- being of all. End of meditation

For the last two or three years, I have not performed the daily Prema Yagna at Mukthi Nilayam. We began performing this yagna each day from the time we were in Vadakkampatti. Whenever we travelled, we would take a small yagna kund and conduct Prema yagna. We have done this in Puttaparthi, Pune, Bombay, Delhi; wherever we went. Thus, I asked Swami if I should again start to perform daily yagna. Swami said that is now all finished and it is enough for me to do Jnana Yagna. As I perform penance for the sake of the world, the karmas of all burn me like fire. Yet, for the welfare of the world, I perform a yagna of feelings without any break. Now, the suffering I undergo due to world karma has come from the body to my head. Thus, there are allergies there and medicine has to be applied each day to my head. The photograph that Swami gave shows, the fire from the yagna kund going to my head. The whole of my body is inside the fire. Swami shows this through the picture.

27 November 2012 Morning meditation Vasantha : Why am I mad for You Swami? I cannot forget You even for one second? Swami : This is the drama. You are acting in a drama. Vasantha : Swami, if it is a drama, then after the actors finish the play, they return to their house. They know it is a drama. Yet, I do not know. If I knew, I would happily act. Swami : Before, we were in the Inseparable state. Mahavishnu is always in Yoga Nidra, Mahalakshmi performing Pada Seva. This is the state of inaction. Lord Shiva and Parvathi Devi perform action; two children are born to them. Brahma creates and Saraswathi plays the veena. We are in the Immovable state, there is no separation. This is the reason why you now suffer this much in separation. Vasantha : Okay Swami, but You said Radha and Krishna are Mahavishnu and Mahalakshmi. Swami : Radha and Krishna came as aspects. We come in Totality, in the Poornam state. This is the original state. Thus, you are unable to bear it and are crying and crying. End of meditation

33 Now let us see about this. I am always crying, unable to forget Swami even for one second. I cannot do anything. It does not matter how much Swami tells, I have no peace of mind. Thus, I asked Him the reason and He has told as He has. Mahavishnu is always in Yoga Nidra and Mahalakshmi is there pressing His feet. They do not do anything else. They are totally merged in that. There is nothing else. Lord Shiva and Brahma, Parvathi and Saraswathi are always engaged in some action or other. There is nothing for Mahavishnu and Mahalakshmi to do. Mahavishnu only has the work of being asleep in Yoga Nidra. The only action of Mahalakshmi is to press the feet of the Lord. Both are totally absorbed and merged in this state. There is no separation, even for one second. Swami and I came to the earth and are in separation. This is the cause of my great suffering. It was not like this for Radha and Krishna. They were happy in their own state and playing their role. Swami and I have now come in the Poornam state, the state of Totality, thus we suffer more. It is very difficult if the inseparable, separate. Can a fish leave the water and survive on land? Is it possible? Yet, the impossible is made possible. This fish left the water and is living on land. This is 'impossible, yet possible'. It is impossible to give all in the world liberation, but now, possible. It is impossible for one to transform the body into a jyothi and merge it into the physical form of God. This is now possible. It is impossible for a Sathya Yuga to come in Kali Yuga, but now the impossible, possible. Usually the kundalini in all rises from the base chakra and unites with Shiva who is atop. Here Shiva descended and takes me up. The song ‘O Lonely Lotus’ shows this. What happens to others and what happens to me is different. Swami comes down and takes me up. I am Prakrithi. He 'taking me up’ means that He raises the earth; that is the earth becomes Vaikunta. This is 'making the impossible, possible'. To demonstrate this Swami left His body and comes again. He will then show who I am to the world. Then He will accept me. We will then ascend and leave the earth. On the 23 November, Swami drew a picture of a Celtic cross. There was also a form seen, hands held in prayer. When I asked about this, Swami said, "Now you have come down from the cross, all will be okay." The vertical portion of the cross represents heaven, the horizontal piece indicates the world and where the two meet, earth connects with heaven. The four arms indicate the four directions: North, South, East and West, four of the elements and the mind, body, heart and soul. In order to make all that is impossible, possible, I was on the cross for 73 years, the world karmas in my body. Swami now shows through this that I come down from the cross. The Kali Yuga has polluted all the four directions and five elements. In the same way that my mind, body, heart and all my feelings purified, my tears and feelings make everything pure. For this, I have suffered all these years. When Swami comes now, all will be okay and all my difficulties will end. I have suffered so much for the sake of world liberation. It is for this He has shown all in this way. The cross indicates that I now come down from the cross.

34 27 November 2012 in the morning, I said, “Today is Swami’s Tamil birthday, He should give me something.” All laughed. After abhishekam, we came back to Suddha Satwa and saw the tube light on in my room. This day is called ‘Karthika light’, so Swami Himself has turned the light on! Later, in meditation I asked Swami to show some proof that He would call me to Puttaparthi. I looked to see if any flowers fell during bhajan, but there was nothing. Then after arathi, they brought me Swami’s padukas. There was vibuthi all over them. There was a single red rose between the two padukas, which had more vibuthi coming from it. I picked up the other yellow flowers and vibuthi poured from them. That night, when we looked again, even more vibuthi had come.

28 November 2012 Morning meditation Vasantha : Why has vibuthi come on the padukas? Swami : The seeds, which you threw on the fire now blossom. When I call you and we see each other, the whole world becomes a Kaamadahana Creation. This happens through our darshan, sparshan and sambashan. This is symbolized by vibuthi coming from the red rose and yellow flowers. Lust is burned throughout the Creation. Vasantha : Swami will You call me? Swami : Sure, I will call you. You will stay there four nights. Then only will New Creation begin. End of meditation

In the previous chapter, Swami told that the seeds, which are thrown in the fire blossom. I sow seeds in the Sai Agni; these have now sprouted and blossomed. The red flower indicates Swami, the yellow myself. It is through our feelings the New Creation comes. Here all lust has been burned. This is what the vibuthi coming from each flower indicates. After Swami comes, He will call me and show who I am to the world. I will stay four nights with Him in Prasanthi Nilayam. Then through our darshan, sparshan and sambashan New Creation begins. Swami and I remove all world karmas and burn all lust. We will not see each other until then.

35 Chapter 7

Parrot Prove

On the day of Swami’s birthday, He gave a black and white photograph of Sai Geetha. In the picture, Sai Geetha is very young and Swami much younger.

23 November 2012 Evening meditation Vasantha : Swami, what is this picture of Sai Geetha? Swami : When I separated from you, I took My touch feeling. This stayed with Me as Sai Geetha. She then died. I am now coming with My touch feeling to reveal you. End of meditation When Swami separated from me, He took His touch feeling. He has told this before and I have written about it. In 2007, I went to Puttaparthi for our marriage day, May 27. On the 22 of May, Sai Geetha suddenly died. Swami said His touch feeling came

36 back to Him at this time. I then wrote about it. Soon after this, I was stopped from entering Prasanthi Nilayam. Swami recently showed a picture of Him coming out with me at the same time. In the picture, a copy of the book ‘Last 7 Days of God’ is in His hand and He is walking behind me.

Swami now comes again in a new body with new touch feeling. This time He will not be in the Witness state, but comes through my feelings with total Prema, Poorna Prema.

20 November 2012 Meditation Vasantha : Swami, wherever You are, I will not leave You. I am not a coward who removes my Mangalya and runs away. Wherever You are, I tie You with this Mangala Sutra and pull You back. Swami : This is correct. Your Mangala Sutra has tied Me and pulls Me back here. I promise on this Mangalya I will come. Vasantha : Do not say this Swami. If You promise and then do not keep it, something will happen to You.

37 Swami : I promise on Your Mangalya that on 21 December I will come. If not, I have committed a great sin. Vasantha : Swami what is this? There is sin for God also? Swami : Yes, it comes. When this woman cries and wails because I do not do what I have said, it is a great sin. End of meditation

For the last few days, Swami has been saying that He will come. When I asked Him again and again, He promised on my Mangalya He would come. Yet, I am afraid if He promises in this way and does not keep His word, something will happen to Him. This is because His Mangalya is around my neck. He then said that if He does not come it is a great sin.

20 November 2012 Evening meditation Vasantha : Swami, I want to worship Your feet with roses. How many atoms are there in my body? If You tell me, I will offer worship with that many roses. Swami : Is there any one that can do like this? This is mad Prema. Vasantha : Swami, tell me how many atoms are in my body? I want to offer all to You! This is my body offering. Swami : You will do everything. End of meditation

I spoke to Swami in this way for several days. I wanted one part of my body to change so I could offer it to Swami for His birthday. However, nothing changed. I then thought, ‘If I know how many atoms are in my body, I will chant Swami’s name that many times!’

22 November 2012 Evening meditation Vasantha : Swami, what shall I give You for Your birthday? I want to give my eyes like Kannappa, but neither eye is all right. If I give the ears, they are also not perfect. The nose is always running and sneezing! It is also imperfect. The mouth has no teeth! What shall I give You? My legs and hands are also imperfect...what shall I give? What shall I give? Swami : Why are you crying and wailing like this. When you were 16 years old, the body was offered to Me. Thus, your body is My own. Vasantha : What shall I do now Swami! I have nothing to give You now!

38 Swami : Do not cry, only you are crying in this way. What are all others giving, greeting cards...what else. Vasantha : Swami, I want to offer my body. This is the birthday gift I want to give You. Swami : From the time you were born, your body was offered to Me. You were born from Me and you will again merge in Me. Vasantha : Swami, today they are going to do Annadhanam. All should be done in a good way. Swami : All are doing Annadhana, clothes charity, medicine charity. Anyone can do these things. Yet, you alone are performing Mukthi charity. There is no one else in the world doing this charity. End of meditation

Now let us see. On Swami’s birthday, I want to offer one organ or limb to Him. Yet, nothing is perfect. When I told this to Swami, He first said my body was offered to Him when I was 16. He then said my body was offered to Him from birth itself. This is because I am born only from Him and my body will merge with Him. On 22 November, all went from the ashram to many villages to perform Annadhanam. All over the world, devotees are distributing free food, clothes and medicine through many service activities. Swami said that all may give food, clothes and medicine as charity, but no one is doing, ‘Mukthi Dhanam’, the charity of liberation. This is not given to 10 or 20 thousand people. I am giving Mukthi Dhanam to 580 crores of people in the world. Still, no matter how much sadhana I perform, I have no satisfaction. Only when I fully offer my body, perfect and complete to Swami, will I be satisfied. Swami said that the tears I cry to change my body are making the world change.

23 November 2012 Noon meditation Vasantha : Swami, You have not given anything. Today is an auspicious, good day! I also have not given anything to You. Swami : When I come, you change your Mangala Sutra and put this Mangalya and the Vadakkampatti Mangalya together. When you come here on May 27, I will tie Mangala sutra around your neck Vasantha : Swami, will it really happen? Swami : Sure, it will happen. Vasantha : Swami, all the nadis tell ‘Swami will put pottu on my forehead’. Swami : Whatever the nadis tell is okay, but can I not change it? End of meditation

39 When Swami told this I wondered, ‘All the nadis tell that Swami will call Me and tell who I am in front of all and put pottu on my forehead’. Thus when Swami said He would tie the Mangala Sutra around my neck I asked Him, “Will it really happen Swami?” Swami said it would surely happen.

25 November 2012 Meditation Vasantha : Will You really tie the Mangala Sutra Swami? Swami : Sure, I will tie it. You will stay there for four nights. You will arrive on the 26th night. Then on the 27th, I will tie the new Mangala Sutra. Vasantha : Swami, is this the four nights You have written about? Swami : Yes, this is the four nights you will be there. Through this, the 14 Worlds become Poornam. Vasantha : Swami, I want to build a temple through my Prema. I cannot control my overflowing Prema. Swami : You're building one temple for Me through your Prema. Through your Prema, you build the Srishti Temple, the temple of Creation. You make the entire creation My temple. This is a Prema Creation. This is the Srishti Temple, Prema’s creation. The flow of Your Prema is the reason. Vasantha : Swami I am unable to bear it. I cover You with my Prema. Swami : Through your Prema, you cover the whole of creation. End of meditation Only now do I understand the reason why the Srishti Temple, temple of Creation is coming here. It is my feelings only that are being built as the temples. A short time ago, Swami wrote 'four nights' in French. I have written about it before. Swami has now given a new meaning to the four nights. It is new and wonderful. Through my feelings, I make the entire creation as Swami and cover the whole world through Swami bhavana. This is what the Eshavasya Upanishad tells, ‘Cover the world through God’s bhavana’. Through my Bhavana for Swami, the entire world becomes Sai Mayam. This is the Sathya Yuga, the Sathya Sai Yuga. I asked Swami to show proof for the new Mangala Sutra. Today in the morning, the parrot in the hand of goddess Andal’s idol was covered by a flower. I thought, 'this is correct proof'. If there is any delay in one's marriage, a parrot made of leaves is offered to the idol of Andal in Srivilliputhur. Swami has shown the correct proof. Through the parrot being covered by the flower, Swami shows He will marry me.

40 Chapter 8

What is the Price?

21 November 2012 Meditation Vasantha : Swami, You know I cannot live without You. Why then did You bring me here? Swami : I will come in a few days, you write. Vasantha : Swami, before I wrote about the 7 days, but it did not happen. Why write this? Swami : You write, sure it will happen. Vasantha : Swami, what price must I pay for Your darshan, sparshan and sambashan? O Swami, what is the price of Your smile? 73 years of my raining tears What is the price of one spoken word? Each moment I breathe is the price What is the price of one look? Whatever I see I make all as God That state is the price for me Swami what is the price of Your nearness? A question mark over my womanhood. What is the price of touching Your feet? Change the Kali into Sathya Yuga is the price. End of meditation

I contemplated about this. What is the price of Swami’s darshan, sparshan and sambashan? For one smile, I have shed 73 years of tears. This rain of tears is the price of His smile. What is the price for Him to speak with me? Swami and I always talk to each other in meditation, but have never spoken physically. In order to speak to Him physically, each and every breath I take is the price. Before, Swami wrote a calculation for each breath I take. He says the sound of each breath is ‘Soham, Soham’. My inhalation and exhalation is only Swami. For me, oxygen and carbon dioxide are the

41 same; both are Swami. This is because each breath I take is only Swami. Thus, my breath becomes the air of Sathya Yuga. Swami becomes the air; He becomes all the five elements. What is the price for His eyes to fall on me? What is the price I must pay for God to look at me? I must make all that I see as God, if not He will not see me. For this, I perform penance and make the universe God Mayam, Jagamey Sarvam Sai Mayam. What is the price for His nearness? The price to pay is the question mark over my womanhood. From the age of 16, until now, there has been a question, who married me? There has been no direct answer to this question. I now stand before the court of the world. What is the judgment? This question mark has caused my heart to suffer for the last 57 years. In this land of Bharath, a woman has only one ornament, which is her chastity. There is a question over my chastity. Swami has not revealed the answer to this question in front of the world court. He has not told of my marriage with Him. Thus, I have suffered humiliation all these many years. Draupadi was only humiliated half an hour; I have had 73 years of humiliation. Only when Swami calls me will this question mark over my womanhood be answered and all doubt removed. The question will then become a full stop. What is the price to touch His feet? I must make the Kali Yuga into Sathya Yuga. If Swami had placed this condition on all before they touched His feet, then who would have touched them? Crores have casually touched His feet, why this price to pay for me? I am crying night and day for these feet. Can He not give some discount to me? There are seasonal discounts given for all things? Yet, there is no discount for me. It is only if I make Kali into the Sathya Yuga, will He call me and allow me to touch His feet. This is the price I must pay. Eddy told me that according to the Tamil calendar, today is Swami’s birthday. I prayed to Swami to give me something. Amar brought a divine message: Sri Vasantha Sai, is a simple village woman, who the sacred nadis have repeatedly called, ‘the other half of God’. Here is an epic story of a soul’s journey to God, resulting in the revelation of Truth. It is the story of complete discipline, supreme sacrifice and an ultimate Prema, which has taken her to the pinnacle of a chastity so powerful, it is bringing in a new age. Vasantha Sai’s Prema, flows like the sacred Mother Ganges, inundating the earth, filling the heart of every man, woman and child. Through her Prema and the power of her penance, she is changing the entire world. It is her unquenchable thirst and unshakable faith in Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, verily God incarnate that is bestowing Liberation to all. Vasantha Sai was born in Vadakkampatti into a family where all had deep devotional fervor for God. For generations, her ancestors were devotees of Lord Vishnu. Her parents had a great love for Lord Krishna.

42 Her father, Madurakavi Azhwar was a freedom fighter who worked tirelessly for the ideals that were dear to his heart. He served in many ashrams in Tamil Nadu as well as organizing many service activities. At home, his austere life set an example to all. He maintained a rigorous schedule from morning till night that included….  He stopped half way through the final sentence. Who is this Avatar? Who is Sathya Sai Baba? How has His fame spread throughout the entire world? The Rama Avatar who came before did not show to the world that He was God. Krishna came and showed He was God from birth itself. In their period, it was only those in India who knew they were incarnations of God. Yet, in this Age of Kali, all know Swami’s name the world over. There is no village or town where His picture is not. In the forests, the tribal people know, on top of the mountains, in the depth of ocean, in all places His name is chanted in the deserts, on the plains, in the airplanes that fly in the sky and on a tiny island that no one knows of! How is it His name is chanted by leaders of great countries, big saints, cinema stars, sports heroes, singers and politicians. How do all know of Swami? From the poor farmer to Tata and Birla, there is no place where He has not entered: doctors, scientists, judges, big educators. In the same way, there is no difference between the castes, creeds or religions. All talk of Him. We have never seen God revealed in this way before. The reason for all is His love and compassion. I am but one drop of this ocean’s compassion. I am one grain of sand from His mountain of Prema. I came here to tell of His fame and glory. Yet, I can only tell that which I can reach. I am His other half. All the rishis, saints, siddhas and Swami Himself have declared this. I am the other half of God, yet, I do not know who I am. I know about Him. I know who Swami is! He is God, the Poorna Avatar, the Adi Moolam, Primal Soul, the Parabrahman. My journey is toward Swami only. I am a simple humble village woman. Due to my Prema for this God, Swami reveals ever new truths. Next, Swami tells of complete discipline. We must have discipline and rules from the smallest task to the biggest. The first thing small children are taught in school is discipline. We must follow this discipline our whole life. A life without discipline is an animal life. This discipline is followed in the ashram. It is not like this in the home. In the home, all eat whenever they want, all sleep when they want and all gossip. Life in an ashram cannot be like this. All functions around time and discipline. There is work to do at a particular time. When we follow discipline in our outside work, inner discipline then comes to the body by itself. We read particular books, only talk of spirituality, listen only to talk about God and each sense thinking of God. In this way, all the senses become regulated. This is the difference between ashram life and life in the home. Supreme Sacrifice. There are many stages in sacrifice. There are both small and big sacrifices. Only if we sacrifice all can we attain God. The Vedas declare, Na karmana Na prajaya dhanena thyagenaikeva amrutatva manasaha Immortality is not attained through action, progeny or wealth.

43 Immortality is not attained through action, wealth or lineage, but only through sacrifice. It is only if we sacrifice all can we attain God. This is the way all can attain God. Attaining God is not part time work; it is full time. We must surrender fully to God and must work hard and perform sadhana. How hard man works to collect worldly things? We must make even more effort to attain God. How much garbage we collect birth after birth? This is our life's earnings! We must remove all this garbage and make ourselves pure. Only then can we attain God. I sacrificed the God who I attained. This is supreme sacrifice. Supreme sacrifice indicates ultimate Prema. Through ultimate Prema, I attain the peak of chastity. This Supreme Prema and Agni Chastity, which has not touched anything, becomes more powerful and is able to bring a New Age. My Prema is like the sacred Ganges, which floods the world, filling each man, woman and child. The power of this penance changes the world. So much penance is required for even one person to attain Mukthi! If this is so, then how great is the power of my penance that changes the Age and bestows liberation on all? There is only one example to show the greatness of my penance power and that is the Kali Age changing to the Sathya Yuga. This is due to my unquenchable thirst for and unshakable faith in Swami. Swami now comes anew and bestows Mukthi on all. Swami has written this and makes me write. The families deep devotional fervor for God - Here Swami tells that all in our family had deep devotional fervor for God. Our ancestors, generation after generation were all Vaishnavites. My parents were great devotees of Krishna. It is for all this that Swami made me born in this family. My father was a freedom fighter and worked ceaselessly, from a young age for the nation. Due to this, he was jailed many times. He served in many Ashrams like the Gandhiji Vaaradha Ashram, Vedaranyam, Moongiladi Ashram, Ambasamudram Ashram, Gandhi Grahmam, Kallupatti Gandhi Nikethan Ashram. He also performed many service activities, organizing all. Many Ashrams asked my father to become their head. Though many requested, he refused. He came to Vadakkampatti, established Gandhi Khadi Vidalayam and performed service there. He trained many people how to spin and weave cotton and other handicrafts. He led a life of penance. He performed many different types of service for the common good of all. He was an example for all. Many leaders of the Gandhi movement came to our house to see. He maintained a rigorous schedule from morning to night.

As I was brought up by my father, my children and I lead the same life, following a timetable from morning to night. When all in the village saw him, they said they could set their house clocks by his comings and goings. This was the discipline he maintained. I adopted the same habits under his care and guidance. Many Ashrams asked him to become their leader, but he refused. He only wanted to do service, he did not want a post or fame. I am the same. I do not want fame or to be head of an ashram or involved in the administration. I only want to serve all. My service is to change the world. My tears and feelings are changing the world. I asked Swami about this.

44 27 November 2012 Morning meditation Vasantha : What is this message about my parents and me? Swami : You asked, what is the price? You have paid this great price and your family is the same. I am writing who you are. I am writing your history. This is Paramatma’s Satcharita that you write continuously. End of meditation Now let us see about this. What price must I pay Swami for one darshan, sparshan and sambashan? What price did my parents pay? Swami has written all here. This is Paramatma’s Satcharita; Swami’s Satcharita, which He Himself tells. As I am His half, I write what He tells me. His feelings and my feelings unite to change the world.

45 Chapter 9

‘I am not '

26 November 2012 – Today, I read in Swami’s book, Sathya Sai Speaks, volume 29 about one saint called Mansur. After I read the story, I asked Swami about it. 29 November 2012 Meditation Vasantha : Swami, I read the story You told. I cannot say ‘I am God’. You are God. All are God. I am not God...I am not God. I am the dust of all God's feet. Swami : You are different. You are unable to speak in this way. This is your humility. This quality alone changes the world. You always saying, ‘I am not, I am not’, chases the ‘i’ from the world. End of meditation

The story of Mansur Swami told the story of the boy saint, Mansur. Mansur was a small boy who left home and walked along the road proclaiming, ‘I am God, I am God’. Seeing his tejas, some would give him food. The boy roamed here and there proclaiming aloud I am God. One day a few pundits heard him and asked him, ‘How come you are telling you are God? How do you know you are God?’ The boy continued to say the same. Finally, the pundits took him to the king and complained about him. The king said, ‘You are a small boy, do not speak in this way.’ But the boy only said, ‘I am God’. The king became very angry and ordered his doctor to gouge the boy’s eyes out. Though the boy’s eyes were removed, he continued to proclaim, ‘I am God’. They then cut his hands off, still he told the same. Finally, they cut his legs off and the boy telling the same died through loss of blood. Yet, the blood that poured out of his body proclaimed, ‘I am God, I am God’. The body was then cremated. However, the ash proclaimed, ‘I am God, I am God’. When I read this story I began to cry. How can a king behave like this, here in the sacred land of Bharath? It is in this land King Sibi sacrificed his life for the sake of a dove. King Chola killed his own son for the sake of a dead calf. This is how kings lived in Bharath. I thought, ‘How can the king who killed the boy saint live here?’ I cried and cried about this to Swami, ‘Why did the king do this?’ I told my feelings to those in the ashram and cried. In meditation, I told Swami, “I am not God, I am not God. I will never tell like this. You are God, the entire world is God. I am the dust of all...the dust of God’s feet'.

46 Swami then told that I am unable to say that I am God due to my humility. I want only to be the dust of everyone’s feet. Each and everything in this world is God. However, as I consider all as my gurus, I want to be the dust at the feet of all. I have learned lessons from all. Thus, I have asked Swami for world liberation in gratitude to all as my Guru Dakshina. When I say "I am not, I am not," the 'i' is removed from the world. In Sathya Yuga, all will function in the ‘I without i state’. No one will have ego, the small ‘i’. Today, 28 November 2012, Swami gave a picture of my feet in some golden slippers.

29 November 2012 Noon meditation Vasantha : Swami, what is the picture of my feet? Swami : You said that I am God, all are God, but that you are the dust of the feet of all. You say that all are your guru. You carried My padukas wherever you went. Thus, all will worship your feet. End of meditation

The picture, which Swami gave, was wrapped in the following message: From the viewpoint of Cosmic time factor, we are presently in Kali Yuga. But from a mental and intellectual viewpoint we can ascend or descend from one level to another at will. The choice is entirely in our hands. So also are the consequences. So act wisely. Now let us see about this. At present, we are in the Kali Yuga. According to the Universal Clock, this is the time of the Kali Yuga. However, if we use the mind and intellect in the correct way, turning it toward God, we can ascend to Sathya Yuga. In the same way, we can also descend to the Kali Yuga. These two are in our hands. The choice is ours. We can either ascend or descend. If we contemplate with determination the reason for birth, we will know that we are born here not to be born again. If this is realized, then we can act accordingly. We must use our discrimination and act. Though this is the Kali Yuga, if we realize it, we can live in Sathya Yuga. Regardless of the consequence of past deeds, all can be changed through wisdom. If we think of God and shower our devotion on Him, we can change all. This chance is also in our own hands.

47 We can live with God, whichever Age we are in. Try! Be victorious! Use the chance now that God has given you.

29 November 2012 Morning meditation Vasantha : What is the picture of my feet? Swami : You pushed away every state you attained and declared ‘I am not, I am not’. Though you attain the God state, you say, ‘All are God, I am the dust of their feet, all are my gurus!’ You carry My padukas with you always. I have now asked you to install your padukas here. This is the consequence of your deeds. Vasantha : Swami, SV wants to build a temple with my form. Swami, I do not want this. I do not want any identification. There should be nothing here to identify or symbolize me. Swami : In this world, ‘I do not want any identification or anything to symbolize me’, identifies you. This chases the ‘i’ from the world. Thus, no one will have ‘i’ in the Sathya Yuga. Which is your form? How can one build a temple? You become the entire creation. You come as Vasanthamayam. You become all. What can they build a temple to? In this creation, which is you? The sand, the tree, a plant, creeper, a man, an animal? All are you, you, you! You do not want an identity, you 'do not want, do not want'! This itself identifies you. End of meditation Swami showed me each state: Radha, Shakthi, Durga, Saraswathi, Mahalakshmi. Yet, whatever came to me I pushed away and said, ‘I am not, I am not!’ Swami finally told me that I had attained the God state. I pushed this away also and said, ‘I do not want. I do not want! Swami is God. All are God. I am the dust of God’s feet!’ I want to be that only. If all are God, then I am the dust of all feet. I do not want any post. There is only one place where none will see me and that is under His feet as the dust. All are my gurus. I carried Swami’s padukas with me wherever I went in a handbag. After we constructed the Garbha Kottam temple and installed Swami’s padukas there. I then put a small pair of padukas, which Swami blessed in a bag and carry them with me. I keep them with me always. Swami has now said that we should install my padukas in the place where He stood on the fourth prakaram of the Stupi. But I do not want this. The padukas have the mantra, ‘Om Sri Saie Vasanthasaieesaya Namah’, inscribed on them. I told Swami we would only install them, if He physically blesses them when He comes again. This is the consequences of my deed. All must experience the consequence of their actions. I want to be the dust under the feet of all. For this reason, the mantra and the padukas will be installed there.

48 SV now wants to make a five metal statue of my form. He says that he wants to use the picture of me sitting in front of Swami’s padukas with my hands folded. However, I said that I do not want anything to identify me, no identification. I refused and cried to Swami. SV then said that after Swami comes, we would ask His permission. We will only make the form if Swami gives His permission. Thus, Swami has given the explanation. When I proclaim, ‘I do not want. I am not’, it makes a world where there is no ‘i’. Which is my form? How to build a temple? All becomes me through Vasanthamayam. The entire creation is Vasantha. Each grain of sand, every tree and all the atoms in creation are Vasantha. So how to build a temple? Where will you build it? Which temple? It is a Creation temple. It is only now I understand the reason it is declared in my nadi that a temple of Creation will be built in Mukthi Nilayam.

1 December 2012 Morning meditation Vasantha : Swami, I am writing about the padukas. Please tell something. Swami : We unite in this mantra. It is the remedy for all diseases of body, mind and rebirth. These padukas come as your form. What is your form? It is humility. This humility takes the form of the mantra padukas. Vasantha : Swami, please bless this. Swami : Yes, after I return I will bless and only then, you install them. End of meditation Now let us see. My name unites with Swami’s name and became the Vasantha Sai mantra that Swami gave. This mantra is the remedy for the triple diseases that face man. I wrote about this in the book, ‘Prema Nivarana Sai’. Swami has now said that humility is my form, which takes the form of the padukas. Thus, Swami gave the picture of me wearing the golden padukas. The consequence of my deeds is a Golden Age. We must experience the consequence of whatever actions we perform. Even Dharmaraja, who was the embodiment of dharma, had to spend some moments in hell. During the Mahabharata War, he spoke the words, ‘Aswattama Hatha...’ very loudly and then in a soft voice said, ‘Kunjara’. He went to hell because of this small action. What then is the consequence we will have to face for each of our thoughts, words and deeds? Contemplate on this. Today, Swami in the book 'Aura of the Divine' Swami marked page 150, The insatiable thirst for God cures all Kali Yuga disease. This is the immediate proof Swami has given for my writing today. Here, Swami tells there is only one remedy for all diseases in Kali and that is an unquenchable thirst for God. It is thirst for God that verily changes the Kali Age to the Sathya Yuga. It cures all karmic diseases.

49 Chapter 10

How Many Yugas Penance for God to be Born?

Today I prayed fully to the Lord of Tirupati and cried, ‘O Lord of Tirupati, my Swami must come on December 21st! I will offer my Mangalya to You. Swami must come! Swami must come! This is the only thing I want. Please do something! This is all I want!’ I cried and wailed. Unable to bear it, I told of my prayer to all. In the morning, as we walked back from the Vishwa Brahma Garbha Kottam, a single tuber rose fell on me! All said that Swami had given it to console me. During breakfast, the tube light suddenly came on by itself. Eddy and I both saw it. We then saw a single flower covering the left eye on the idol of Andal. Then when medicine was being applied to my head, the shutter in my room suddenly opened and closed by itself. Swami showed all these wonders for my tears. Yet, I am suffering unbearable pain and am crying. 28 November 2012 Noon meditation Vasantha : Swami, You must come! I will give this Mangalya as an offering to the Lord of Tirupati. Swami : Why are you crying like this since morning? You are not a woman. You are a Goddess. Does any Goddess pray in the temple? Vasantha : Swami, I am unable to bear it. Swami, my Prabhu You should come! After You come, I will give this Mangalya to someone to take to the temple in Tirupati. Is this correct Swami? Swami : O’ My treasure, what can I do for your love? Okay, give the Mangalya and wear the Vadakkampatti Mangalya. When we see each other on May 27, I will tie the Mangala sutra around your neck. Vasantha : Is all true Swami? Swami : Yes, it is true. I will tie in front of those who are near to us. Sure, it will happen, I promise! I promise! Vasantha : Swami, this is enough. Swami, they cut some of Your picture. This has caused me great suffering. Swami : This is the Prema Dakshina I give to you. You write about this. End of meditation

50 In our house, if anything ever happened, my grandmother prayed to the Lord of Tirupati temple. When I was very sick, she prayed that when I recovered, I would go and place my Mangalya in the hundi, donation box. After I recovered, we went to Tirupati and I offered my Mangalya there. This happened another time and again I went to Tirupati and offered my Mangalya. It is very powerful in Tirupati. All pray to God to solve their problems and make an offering if the prayer is answered. It is in this way I prayed to the Lord now. When I came to know of Swami, I stopped going to different temples and praying to other forms of God. As Swami must come, I am now going to all gods and praying to them. When Swami comes, I will place my Mangalya in the temple at Tirupati. This was my prayer to the Lord. When I told this to Swami, He said, “You are the Goddess, why pray at the temple?” I am not a goddess! I only want my Swami. I am ready to give up anything for Him. Swami must come. Swami then said, “It was okay to give the Mangalya to the temple, I will tie a new Mangalya around your neck. Promise, promise..." When we laminated the Hill House picture, it was not done perfectly. They cut off one of Swami’s fingers. When I saw it, I suffered greatly. Swami then said it was to symbolize His Prema Dakshina. I want to give Mukthi to all in the world as my Guru Dakshina. Once Swami drew four fingers on my sari and then told of Ekalavya giving his thumb as Guru Dakshina. Then a few years ago, Swami drew four fingers on my door, and then on the wall of my room. Then He said it was His Prema Dakshina. Now, on the Hill House picture the small finger was cut off. Swami said this was for Prema Dakshina. An Avatar who descends never shows their personal Prema. They do not show it to anyone. Now, Swami alone is showing. This is the Avataric task. Swami married me and separated from me. Now after a long time, He will call me and show who I am in front of the world. He will then tie the Mangala Sutra around my neck. For Him, Prema Dakshina is shown through His little finger. My Guru Dakshina is shown through the thumb.

28 November 2012 Evening meditation Vasantha : Will You really tie the Mangala Sutra? Swami : It will surely happen. Before you wrote on the last seven days. This is not about the last days, all will happen now. Vasantha : Swami, seeing this book they threatened the doctor and I was also stopped from seeing You. Swami : All will happen now. Do not be afraid. Write. End of meditation

51 I am afraid. In the book ‘Last 7 Days of God’, I wrote that if Swami did not tie the Mangala Sutra, I would not go to Vaikunta. This is life on the earth. Here a Mangalya is an important thing for a woman. Though we are God, born on this earth, I told Swami if He did not tie the Mangala sutra, I would not stay together with Him during the last 7 days. It was then I rewrote from the second day again. Only after Swami ties the Mangala Sutra, do I stay with Him in one place. This is the culture of Bharath. This is the bond of marriage. Without the bond of marriage, a man and woman cannot live in a place together. Even if He is God, I follow this strictly. Reading this, they threatened the doctor and said, "How can you give this book to Swami?" How could the doctor give the book to Swami, if He Himself did not accept it? I was then asked not to come inside anymore. Swami has said that all will happen now and not in the last seven days on earth.

29 November 2012 Morning meditation Vasantha : Swami, will You call me? Swami : Sure, I will call you. Then on May 27th, I will tie Mahalakshmi’s Mangalya on you. Vasantha : Swami show some proof or I will not write. Swami : Sure, I will show some proof. End of meditation

In the morning, the flower placed on the idol of Andal the day before covered the parrot. I have written in the previous chapter that this is the proof for the marriage. Today, as a divine message, Swami placed a chit inside the ISKON book, 'KRSNA' near a picture of Jarasandha and wrote 38 on it, folding it in three. There was also a picture of me inside where Swami wrote 1 + 2. A calendar from 2002 with Swami’s photo was also found. The picture of Jarasandha shows him being torn in two by Bhima. Just like Jarasandha, Swami and I are two halves of one body. We are Shiva Shakthi. On page 38 of the same book, when Devaki prays to Krishna it says: One person travelling all over the universe from Brahma Loka to Patala Loka, cannot escape from the disease of birth and death; they can never escape from old age and death. But one, who enters the kingdom of God, never returns to earth. This is what God has declared. Thus Devaki asks, ‘You save me from Kamsa’. Today, 30 November 2012, there was a small chit on Amar’s desk where it was written: Rasanayagam VD. On the back of the paper was the number 39: yesterday 38, today 39! There it was written:

52 My dear Lord, at the end of the annihilation of the Cosmic manifestation You put the whole universe in Your abdomen. Now through Your mercy You have appeared in my womb. How is it? Mahavishnu who appeared in front of her with four hands told about her previous birth. In the Swayambhu period, Vasudeva was one of the Prajapathi, at that time his name was Sutapa, and his wife was called Prsni. At that time, Lord Brahma, was deciding to increase population and requested Prsni/Devaki to generate offspring. She then brought all her senses under control and performed severe sadhana by practicing the breathing exercise of Yoga system. Her husband also tolerated all the influence of the material laws, the different seasons, rain, scorching heat, cold. Yet, as they were pure of heart, this did not affect them. It was in this way they cleansed their hearts and controlled all senses. Prsni would only eat the leaves from the trees that fell on the ground. She then worshipped God with a steady mind and controlling her sexual drive. They then performed austerities for 12,000 Devic years, their mind always on God. Seeing this God was pleased with them and appeared in front of them, in same form. He asked any boon. Prsni said that only God should be born as their son. They never asked liberation from the Lord. Liberation was not that important to them. Thus, after Sutapa and Prsni finished their austerities they lived as husband and wife in order to beget child who was the Supreme Lord. At that time the son born to them was called Prsnigarbha. In the next millennium, they then took birth as Adithi and Kasyapa, their child was Vamana. In the next age, they were born to Devaki and Vasudeva and Sri Krishna was born to them. Thus, the Lord was born to them three times as their child.

30 November 2012 Noon meditation Vasantha : Swami, what is this page 39 and Krishna’s birth? Is this also Your birth? Swami : Yes, it indicates I am coming. Through our austerities New Creation is born. Vasantha : What is Rasanayagam? Swami : That is Rasana Yaga. This is our Rasana that we will both enjoy. Our enjoyment of four nights and three days where we will enjoy nearness, this is the Rasa, this is Rasa Yagam. This becomes the New Creation. All will enjoy God. We experience. Vasantha : Swami, first you come. Swami : Sure I will come. End of meditation

53 Through the matter on page 39, Swami shows His Avataric task. Like Devaki, I also performed many austerities, which I followed strictly. In order to fully attain Swami, I controlled my senses. How much I have done. Swami and I took the karmas of the world on our body and kaama through our feelings and experienced. We have performed austerities for all these years. All has now finished and we will see each other. It is due to this separation I practiced many different yogas. The 18 yogas of the Bhagavad Gita I practiced, emerged as the Stupi. I purified all. The purification of my heart became the Vishwa Brahma Garbha Kottam. I have not seen Swami nearby, spoke to or touched Him for 73 years. When Swami calls me, we will talk and experience. Whatever we experience comes as the New Creation. Sutapa and Prsni finished their life of austerity and in the following millennium, lived as husband and wife. God was born as their son. Swami compared this to our life and asked me to write how when our suffering finishes, we unite. It is then the New Creation child is born to us. Swami will call me and show who I am in front of the world and tie the Mangala sutra around my neck. This is He and I living as husband and wife. It is through our darshan, sparshan and sambashan that the New Creation child is born. How many yugas penance was done for God to be born? Then how much penance is required for Sathya Yuga to come? Yet, here God and His Shakthi have to perform the penance!

54 Chapter 11

Head of the Tastes

21 November 2012 Noon meditation Vasantha : Swami, what will happen on May 27? Swami : On the 26th evening when you get My darshan, sparshan and sambashan, your eyesight will return. Swami shows a Vision... We all go to Prasanthi and stay in the house which Swami assigns to us. All take their bath and get ready. A student comes and tells, ‘Swami will come’. All are ready and Swami comes. Everyone prostrates before Swami. Two students come, carrying bags. Swami gives clothes to all. I am crying. Swami calls me near Him and asks, ‘Why tears now also?’ I reply, ‘Swami, how great is the price I have paid for this time’. Swami, ‘It is only when you pay this much that our relationship and real state are revealed. For others darshan, sparshan and sambashan are nothing’. Swami then takes my glasses off and says, ‘This is Yoga maya, for all these days it covered her. Now I will remove it’. ‘Swami, I can see in both eyes!’ All happily clap. Swami says, ‘Now all will be okay’. He spends more time talking with us and then leaves.

End of meditation

Now let us see about this. I began to wear glasses at the age of 12. In 2001, Swami showed the picture of modern Parvathi declaring, “I showed who you were at that time.” I have written about this in my third book, how Swami showed Himself as 'Modern Parvathi'. In the female form Swami showed of Himself, He is seen wearing glasses. Thus, they gave the caption to the picture as ‘Modern Parvathi’. Yet, in truth, Parvathi does wear glasses as Modern Parvathi. This is something not known by the world. Today Swami makes modern Parvathi, as real Parvathi. When Swami sees me for the first time, He removes my Yoga Maya. This body now is not my real body. It is a Yoga Maya body, which is hidden by the karmas of the world. All in the world are covered by maya; Avatars are covered by Yoga Maya. The body which Swami lived in for 84 years was a Yoga Maya body. This is not His real body.

55 No one can touch and talk to the real form of Avatars. Swami gave millions of people interviews, all touching and talking with Him. All this took place while in His Yoga Maya body. Thus, He suffered for the karmas of all. Can we perform an operation on the body of God? Is there ever a time when God cannot talk or walk properly? Has this happened in the life of any Avatar? Were any of the previous Avatars admitted in hospital? Has any form of God a samadhi for them? O worldly people! You tell! You tell! Have you read of this happening in the life of any Avatar? Why for Him only? This is not His real body! Swami now comes in His real body. This is Yoga Maya. A devotee once said, ‘How can I tell of the glory of God with my saliva mouth?’ Another told, ‘How can I perform abhishekam with Ganges water, which is filled with fish saliva? I will do it with my tears only.’ They spoke in this way due to humility, knowing the greatness of such a God! Now, the people say, ‘Swami talks with me. He shares all the housework. He goes to the market and buys my shopping. He married me’. Many men and women have spoken in this way. How pure are you? How can you talk connecting God with you in this way? If Swami speaks with you, contemplate on your purity. Only then, tell it outside. This is His Yoga Maya. Yoga Maya covers the eyes of those in Kali Yuga like maya. Swami is God, the Primal Soul. We must contemplate on how we are eligible for His darshan, sparshan and sambashan. First, you contemplate. As it was so easily available for you, did you think you do not have to do anything? All should think am I eligible for that. Would you casually touch fire and speak in this way. Did those in Rama and Krishna’s period behave in this way? Swami came and walked amongst all due to His compassion, giving this concession to all. Yet, I cannot act in this way. How much I have purified myself through penance, crying, ‘Am I eligible for His darshan, sparshan and sambashan?’ I hesitate and think, ‘How can I touch Him with this ugly dirty body?’ Thus, Swami removes my Yoga Maya body and turns it into its true form.

30 November 2012 Evening meditation Vasantha : Swami, will You really tie Mahalakshmi’s Mangala Sutra? Swami : Sure, it will happen. All devas, rishis and siddhas and others will see. There is no change to this. I now come with My touch feeling. For all these years, when I touched all and they touched Me, it was in the Witness state. Now I come and touch you through feelings of Prema. All must surely happen for all the tears shed and difficulties undergone all these years. It will happen in front of family members, the Ashramites and a few members of Prasanthi. Vasantha : Swami, will my body change? Swami : When we see, touch and talk on May 26, your body will change.

56 Vasantha : Swami, please show some proof for this. End of meditation

During bhajan, I looked to see if any flowers fell, but none did. When I went inside to take my bath, there was a red hibiscus on my cot. All saw it and said Swami has shown proof in a new way!

30 November 2012 Meditation Vasantha : Will all happen Swami? Why was there a flower on my bed? Swami : You will stay there four nights. To show this, I put the flower on the cot. On the 27th, I will speak about you in front of all and tell who you are. End of meditation Now let us see about this. We will stay in Prasanthi four nights. To prove this Swami placed the flower on the cot. Swami has shown many leelas each day through the idol of Andal and now the red hibiscus. The flower that covered Andal’s left eye indicated the loss of sight in my left eye. Then the flower that turned upside down from the head of the idol, touching the eyes, shows Swami comes again and touches me. I looked at the calendar and saw that 26 May 2013 is on a Sunday. I then said to Swami, “You remove the flower, which covers Andal eyes on Sunday.” The flower was removed correctly on Sunday morning, 2 December 2012. The flower, which was covering Andal’s eyes, fell off. Swami showed proof for what He had told in meditation. Swami said that all must happen for all the suffering and tears I have shed for 73 years. For all that time, Swami was in the Witness state. As Swami now comes with Prema feelings, He must touch me and tie Mahalakshmi’s Mangala sutra in front of family members, those from the ashram here and some from Prasanthi Nilayam. When we touch and talk the body will change. When the body changes, the 14 Worlds will begin to change. Today, Swami gave a small paper with the printing: Rasanayagam V D On the back of this was the number 39. Yesterday, I wrote about page 39 in the ISKON book. Rasanayagam is when Swami and I both enjoy and experience. No one has ever performed this yaga before. Swami and I perform this Rasanayagam for four days for the welfare of the world.

1 December 2012 Meditation Vasantha : Will all happen? Will You call me? Swami : Sure I will call you and do all. I will reveal who you are on the 27. I will talk about you in front of all. I will tell, ‘So far you have seen only one part, I am Shiva Shakthi. She is the Shakthi. She does not want to show

57 herself outside, yet, through her penance, all karmas are finished and the Sathya Yuga dawns. I will speak in this way. Vasantha : Swami, what is Rasanayagam? Swami : Rasana mean taste. The enjoyment that we both experience becomes New Creation. Amrita Rasa means that we are together talking, touching and laughing. This is the taste of nectar. Through this, New Creation is born. This is Rasanayagam. This Rasanayagam is the head Rasam, the taste of tastes that God and Shakthi enjoy. This spreads throughout the world as 'Rasaleela'. Vasantha : Swami, You must come. Swami : Sure I will come. End of meditation Swami showed Himself as Shiva Shakthi in 1963. Until now, the world has only seen one half, the Shiva side. Thus, Swami will now reveal the other half as Shakthi’s penance in front of the world. We now enjoy the rasa. Swami wrote the R as S and V joined together. This indicates that we two experience Amrita Rasa, the taste of nectar. God is called Rasa Vaisaha. God is Rasa Rupam, the form of rasam. He is Amrita Rasam. The enjoyment of God and His Shakthi, this rasa, spreads all over the world as Rasaleela. Swami separated the word as Rasa Nayagam. This means He is the head Rasa, Taste of tastes, Rasa Anubhavam, rasa experience. O Lord of Tirupati, I will offer my Mangalya to You when Swami comes. You have shown that You are Swami! I now realize that You are Swami. You come, You come! This is my prayer each day. Some years ago, the head priest in Tirupati had Swami’s darshan. When he was removing the flowers from the idol, he felt that the feet of the deity were very soft. When he looked at the face of the idol, it changed to Swami’s form. That night Swami came in his dream and told that He alone is there. Immediately, the head priest went to Puttaparthi and Swami called him for an interview confirming all. It is only now I remember this. Every day I am praying to Tirupati Swami, but Swami is the Lord of Tirupati! Oh Swami, when You come I will offer my Mangalya to You!

58 Chapter 12

Primal to Temple

2 December 2012 Meditation Vasantha : Swami, You told about the Mangalya. Will it really happen? Swami : Sure, it will happen. I will tie Mahalakshmi’s Mangala Sutra on you. Vasantha : Swami, You draw or show a picture of it? Swami : Sure, this is why I showed the leela with Andal’s statue. Your Mangalyas are there. Vasantha : How am I equal to You? You know all. I do not know anything. You told about the life of a British Prime Minister and of the first Indian judge. I do not know anything. Swami : I know everything, but you know only one thing. You know about Me. This is Shakthi. Vasantha : Swami, before a marriage is fixed, they see if both have had equal education, whether their status is equal and family standing are equal. If this is what is done in ordinary marriage, then how am I Your Shakthi? Swami : You have equal Prema, equal compassion, equal grace and equal wisdom to Me. This is enough. All other things are for worldly knowing. You focus only on Me. I expand all, the two are the same. You do not cry. Vasantha : Swami, I want You only. I want You. I will ask Mother Durga. I pray to Durga... Vision ‘Amma, You give all strength to a Mangalya. You give this to me. Swami must come. When He calls me, I will offer my Vadakkampatti Mangalya to You. Mother Durga appears and says, ‘See here, do not cry. Who are you? I am you. You are praying to yourself. She disappears... End of vision

59 Swami : Do you see? You are Durga. I am the Lord of Tirupati. We are the Primal Soul. We came from Param, the Primal. Our last state is temple vigrahas. Thus, from the Source to the idol in the temple, we are all. You are praying to the temple deity. We are that. Sure, I will come. Vasantha : Swami, there are only 19 days left till You come. Swami : You see this Hill House? Whose is it? It is your heart. I am in your heart. It is from there I will come out. I indicate all this in the book. You write. End of meditation Now let us see. When I was reading Sathya Sai Speaks Volume 19, I wondered, ‘How much information Swami has given. How many sacred stories He has told! How can I be the Shakthi of God?’ These were my thoughts. Swami then said that I only know one thing, and that is Him. It is common when there is talk of fixing a marriage, that they will see if the two are equally educated, have equal status and that both families have equal social standing. How then am I Swami’s Shakthi? How am I equal to Him? He is omniscient; He knows all. I know nothing. This thought of mine has not just come today, but has been with me ever since Swami told me I am His Shakthi. This doubt has been with me ever since I wrote the first book in Vadakkampatti. ‘If I am Swami’s Shakthi, then I must be equal to Him'. In answer to this doubt, Swami said we are equal in Prema, Wisdom, Grace and Compassion. God showers equal love on all. When the rain falls, it does not look to see who and where it falls. Just like God’s equal love for all, the rain showers impartially on all. Thus, I show equal love to all. This is equal Prema, equal compassion. I have this quality. I have accepted the karmas of all on my body and bestow Mukthi on all. My wisdom is equal to God’s. Swami reveals ever-new wisdom and makes me write. My entire life is focused on Him. My focusing and Swami expanding are both the same. Focusing is the Vishwa Brahma Garbha Kottam. Its expansion is the Mukthi Stupi. I prayed to the Lord of Tirupati and Mother Durga. When I was in Vadakkampatti, many asked me to pray for them when there was a delay in their marriage or if their husband was in danger. I would pray to Mother Durga and tell them to make a new Mangalya and place it on Durga. I would then give them Durga’s Mangalya to wear. Their marriage would then take place or their husband’s disease cured. This happened on many occasions. It is for this reason I prayed to Durga Ma, ‘If Swami comes, I will place my Mangalya on you’. It was then Mother Durga said, ‘I am you, you are Me’. Swami then said that He is the Lord of Tirupati and I am Durga. We have come from the Primal Source. Yesterday, inside the book, ‘Aura of the Divine’, page 35, Swami indicated many things. On one page was written ‘Vigrahas in temples’. Swami then explains how the formless God comes down in stages, step by step. He wrote:

60 Paranaamam This is God’s Supreme abode of Vaikunta. Here God dwells with full effulgence. Yet, no one can see His form. He is not visible to any. Vyuhanaamam This form of God lies on Adi Sesha in the Ocean of Milk. Here the form of the Lord can only be seen by devas or those who have special powers. He cannot be seen by ordinary people. Here He fulfills the desires of the devas. Vibhavanaamam This indicates God’s descent on earth in many forms. Antaraatmanaamam Here the Lord pervades every part of human beings. Archananaamam This is the form of the Lord in the temple vigrahas, idols.  This is what Swami has said. Swami and I came from the Param, Vaikunta. This is the final abode. Swami told me, “We came from the final abode. Why are you crying to the temple vigrahas?’ Param - God is here first in the formless state. It is only effulgence. No one can see Him. This is Vaikunta. Swami and I are there. Then next Vyuhanaamam, God is in the Milky Ocean. When devas want to see God, this is their vision. Only the devas can see Him here or those who have special powers. Next, Vibhavanaamam indicates all the Avatars. The Lord incarnates on the earth to protect the good, punish the wicked and establish dharma. He is born in every Age. Yet, in this Age, He Himself has connected with devotees. Param means the one none can see. In Vyuhanaamam only devas and those with special powers can see Him. Man can never see Him there. The third is Vibhavana, which is the stage when He descends as Avatar for the sake of devotees. Here there is a relationship between God and the devotee. For example, we call them Rama devotees or Krishna devotees. They are devotees who relate to a particular period of time. In Rama’s period, Hanuman, Jatayu Vibheeshana and many others were devotees. In the Avatar of Krishna, we can name Nandagopa, Yashoda, Kubja and the Gopi Gopas. In the period of Swami, there are many many devotees. Vyuhanaamam - In this state, God is in the Milky Ocean and can be seen as Mahavishnu by devas and those with special powers. However, the same Mahavishnu descended on earth as Sathya Sai Baba. To see Him, no special powers were required! One did not need a special pass! Enough! All had first place. Yet, His Mahalakshmi had no pass to go to His place or even His village. Special powers and penance had no place there and could never come there. This is the reason for my tears.

61 Next is Antarayami. God is in the human body and pervades each atom. He is throughout the body. The one who realizes this becomes free from the cycle of birth and death. For this, more sadhana is required. Only then is God attained. We are not the body; we are Atma. This must be realized. Swami is in each and every blood cell of my body. He showed this in my first book and I have written about it. In 1998, I was shown the same picture and threatened, “How can you write Swami is circulating in your blood?” I was then stopped from seeing Swami. Now I am showing that God is not only in my body, but also in the body of all. He is not only in all human forms, but in each and every aspect of the Creation. Archan is the temple deities or vigrahas. All temple moorthis are called Archa Moorthis. All go to temple and pray to have their desires fulfilled. The deity in the temple functions according to their faith. This is God’s last state. Thus, Swami said, “You are in the first state, why do you cry to the last state... to the temple vigrahas?” On 3 December 2012, Swami gave a Tamil poem dedicated to Mahalakshmi. This is the correct proof for Swami telling He will tie Mahalakshmi’s Mangala Sutra around my neck. Then on a piece of paper, Swami drew what looked like a four-road junction with a circle at the center of the crossroads with a dot inside. Coming from there were three pairs of vertical lines, which were like the number 11. Then, the numbers 3 8 4 were shown. Next to this was the number 4, with a letter E beneath it. Then a flower with four petals, each petal pointing in one of four different directions. I asked Swami about it in meditation. 3 December 2012 Noon meditation Vasantha : What is this picture Swami? Swami : Our feelings emerge from the Stupi. We are Vaikunta's Adi and Padi, His halves. Three indicates the three children and also that God, Shakthi and Creation are one. This totals 15, indicating your body’s 15 principles will surely change. 4 E, denotes the four evenings we will be together. It is then all becomes Poornam. Our vibrations spread in the four directions. End of meditation This is what Swami said. This circle with the dot in the center indicates the bindu. From the bindu, vibrations spread in the four directions through the Stupi. The three 11’s, add to 33, which are for the 33 vertebra of the spinal column, where the kundalini resides. The two vertical lines also indicate Swami and I, we two are the Adi, the Padi, His halves. The 3 indicates, the three children. This adds to 15, which represents the tatwas in my body that will change. The 4E means we will see each other for 4 evenings, when I stay in Prasanthi. Through this meeting, all becomes Poornam. When I looked again, I saw the E was made up from a U turned on its side. This indicates that we will unite, for 4 evenings.

62 Chapter 13

Not Kanaka Dhara, Karuna Dhara

Swami gave verses 19 to 21 of Adi Shankara’s poem in Tamil. Below is the English translation: Verse 19, Elephants bring holy water from every direction To perform abhishekam to the Holy Mother, who sits atop the lotus. They pour Ganges water from the golden vessels, Over the Holy Mother, soaking the cool waves of hair The pure Holy water makes the Mother more holy. You are Mahavishnu’s Devi, the daughter of the Ocean King This is the ocean which gave nectar. You are pure unblemished marble Who shines without fault. She to whom I pray in the morning Is the Mother of all worlds.

Verse 20 You are the flower, who resides in the flower You are the gold, who lives in gold You are the one who is God's beloved This God, who is worshiped by all, worships you In this world, I alone am poor And am begging alms from you Is this justice enough? Just as the ocean is full of waves, This Mother’s cool waves of grace flow to all The beauty of Mother’s eyes, are like the crescent moon

63 If you glance at me just once, my poverty will disappear. O Mother, I want to see your sparkling eyes O Mother, tender like flower, glory to you, glory to you!

Verse 21 You have given birth to the three worlds, You have a beautiful smile You are coming as three and two, the Total Brahman You are the sculpted statue, the beautiful Jyothi statue You are the Goddess Mother who is filled with joy Mother, you are our rarest gift He who recites these prayers daily, Wherever they are, whoever they are Acquire knowledge and joy, till the world exists They can attain a good name in this world They will reach higher and higher states And be an ideal example for the world.

3 December 2012 Noon meditation Vasantha : Swami, who wrote this song? Swami : I have written... who else can write? Vasantha : What are You saying in front of all to me? You tell! You have not written, who has? Swami : I did. Who can write? On the 27th, it is our marriage day, the celestial maidens will give you a holy bath and decorate you. You always sang Andal’s dream verses. It is in this way they will decorate you. This is the proof you asked. Vasantha : I do not accept that 'for those who worship me in this way, then their desires fulfill'! Swami : This is correct, whoever praises and worships you, their desires will be fulfilled. End of meditation

64 I could not understand and read the song again and again. I then remembered, ‘O this is Adi Shankara’s song in praise of Mahalakshmi’. I then asked Amar to take a print out from the internet of Kanaka Dhara Stotram. When we saw the printout, it was a bit different. We decided we would look at the Tamil. Then Srilatha brought a book of Adi Shankara’s verses translated in to Tamil. This was also different. We compared the three I could not understand and begin thinking 'it is not given by Swami'.

Evening meditation Vasantha : Swami, I cannot understand. The Tamil is also different. Who wrote this? Swami : What does it matter who wrote it? I printed and have given it to you. I gave. You write and show how it connects you and Me. Vasantha : Swami, what does Mahalakshmi’s Mangalya look like? Swami : To prove this, I gave the Mahalakshmi stotram. End of meditation The verses from the internet are different from what Swami wrote. The elephants come from every direction Carrying Holy Ganges water, They use the Holy water to bathe Mahalakshmi Worshiping the Holy Mother with holy water They then place lotus flowers on the one who sits atop the lotus  Mahalakshmi is pure and holy. She is in Vaikunta, so none can see her. She is the daughter of the Ocean King. She was born from the Milky Ocean. She placed a garland on Mahavishnu and performed Pada Seva. She is unblemished, a pure marble form. This Mahalakshmi came to the earth. Now, for the sake of the worldly people’s karmas, her body is full of blemishes. The body of marble has been filled with karmas. When I sang Andal’s dream verses, it tells that they bring holy water from many directions and bathe her with holy water. They chant mantra according to the scriptures and then our marriage takes place. I sang and imagined each ritual of marriage with Krishna. Now, it becomes a reality. The celestial maidens bathe and decorate me on our marriage day. This is what Swami shows. Our marriage will take place on the 27 May.

4 December 2012 Noon meditation Vasantha : Swami, I am now writing about the song You gave. There You say, ‘God who the whole world worships, now offers worship to you as one who is

65 the beloved of God’. Why have you written in this way? How shall I write? Why do You worship me? No, no! I will not write! Swami : Do not cry. Here, devotees chant the names of God. For you God has given a 108 names, this is I worshiping you. I told you in your first book that I am defeated by you. Why? In front of your Prema, I am defeated. Devotees only sing arathi for God, but I have given you an arathi song. Only devotees sing God’s Jhula song, but I sang your Jhula song. I gave names for the Stupi and names for your body. This is all Me worshiping you. You write about this. This is okay. Vasantha : Okay Swami, now I understand. I will write. End of meditation

Verse 20 tells, ‘You are the flower residing in the flower’. This indicates Mahalakshmi. 'You are the gold, living in gold'. Mahalakshmi is the goddess of wealth. He said that the one who is worshiped by the whole world, He Himself worships as His beloved one. This is God Himself worshiping Mahalakshmi. Mahalakshmi loved God and then garlanded Mahavishnu. Many devas were waiting for her garland, but she put the garland on the one who did not look at her. This is Mahavishnu. She then only performed Pada Seva. For this, Swami and I are now born on earth. Swami made me take birth as ‘i without I’, slowly revealing who I am. He gave names, an arathi song, jhula song, names for the body, Stupi names and Tamil names. He has given all and has now told that through this He worships me. God rules the 14 Worlds. Now He comes to stay with me for my Prema. God who left His body, came here and stayed with me and took form with my feelings. This is also to balance His debt and to make amends. He Himself balances all. This is because He did not see Mahalakshmi for 28 yugas. He now came here in a human form to balance His debt. He came to stay with me, remained only thinking of me and became as Vasanthaasmi, coming with my feelings. Just as the ocean is full of waves, This Mother’s cool waves of grace flow to all The beauty of Mother’s eyes, are like the crescent moon. If you glance at me just once, my poverty will disappear. O Mother, I want to see your sparkling eyes. I came to the earth through this compassion, taking all Kali Yuga karmas in my body and I am suffering. Only through my penance, can I remove the poverty of this loveless world. In this Kali Yuga, no one has any kindness or love. As a result, separation is everywhere. To remove this, I am performing a 'Prema Penance'. How great is the price I pay for Swami’s one look? Swami tells here that He is now waiting for one look

66 from me like a poor man. Swami who left His body must come again. It is only if He comes will love come to the world. Swami said all this would happen. As I cannot see Swami, I am unable to see out of my eyes and only have half sight in one eye. When Swami comes now and I see Him, then only will my eyes sparkle and full sight come. Swami then said, ‘Show one glance of your sparkling eyes…for this I am yearning and waiting’. When He sees me, light will come to my eyes. This is the light of compassion. When this light of compassion comes, all the poverty of the world is removed and everywhere fills with love. Again, He writes, 'You are coming as three and two, and Total Brahman’ I could not understand this and asked about it in meditation.

5 December 2012 Morning meditation Vasantha : Swami, what have you written 3 and 2 and 'Total Brahman'? Swami : Before, for the Shirdi Avatar, Shakthi was within Him. For the Sathya Sai Avatar, you are born as My Shakthi. When you were young, I married you in another form. Then that form disappeared. Again, we married. You are Sathya Sai’s Shakthi. Now, I left the body and will come again in a new body. I will show who you are in front of the world. You will also change and have a new body. When I come as Prema Sai, you will come as Prema. In this way, you are these five Avatars - Total Shakthi. Vasantha : Now I understand, I will write. End of meditation

Swami then wrote, You are the one who gives birth to the three worlds You are the one who has a beautiful smile How much a woman suffers to give birth to one child? Is it an easy thing to give birth to the three worlds? I am suffering for 73 years. It is said, the pain of labor is like dying and being reborn. Yet, I am suffering 73 years of labor pain, to give birth to the New Creation. Still, the smile on my face never changes. There is no shadow of sadness in my face. When I am writing my feelings, only then it is expressed and seen outside. In this Age of Kali, this Brahman comes in five different forms. Only three of them are known by the world, Shirdi Sai, Sathya Sai and Prema Sai. Swami announced this in the beginning of His Avatar. Two forms are unknown to the world. One of these forms married me; another is the form who comes again after leaving the body. These two forms are not revealed outside. However, in Swami’s and my nadis all rishis and siddhas reveal these two forms. That is the form who married me and the form that comes again. In the time of

67 Shirdi Baba, His Shakthi was inside Him. Sathya Sai Baba separated His Shakthi from Himself and made her take birth. I am born from Him. I am His Shakthi. Thus, my body will again become a jyothi and merge with His body. No one other that Swami can marry His Shakthi. Thus, He Himself came in another form and married me. When the time came, that form disappeared. Swami then blessed the Mangalya and asked me to wear it. In this way, He accepted me in front of all as His Shakthi. He has now left His body and asked me to remove the Mangalya. He Himself then gave the Nine Planet Mangalya, which I wore. Now, He comes again in a new body. My body will also change. This time He will tie the Mahalakshmi Mangalya on me. In Prema Avatar time, I will come as Prema. Thus, Swami said this is five Avatars: Complete, Whole and Total Shakthi. Then He wrote: You are the beautiful Jyothi statue What does this mean? A sculptor carves forms of God as a temple deity. My body becomes a jyothi, so it is a beautiful jyothi statue. It comes as the Total Shakthi form for the five states of the Sai Avatar. This is a great wonder, which has never happened in the world so far. This wonder changes the Kali Age to Sathya Yuga. When I was writing this, I found the songs were written by ‘Kannadasa’, the famous poet. But in that book, Swami took the last three poems and printed on the back of the printout of His names, which I wrote. Adi Shankara sang the poems in praise of Mahalakshmi. Swami asked me to write comparing these poems to His and my state. Swami's verse says '... in this world ‘I am the poorest of the poor... remove my poverty’. In this world, there is no love. He came here to establish Prema. 'Lovelessness' is the reason for the decline of dharma. There is no use to establish dharma without love as the basis. Thus, Swami wrote in this way. Swami and I came to fill the world with complete love and wisdom. There is no use of the pouring gold of Mahalakshmi. It must be a rain of love and compassion, which redeems humanity from the clutches of karma.

68 Chapter 14

Four Becomes One

Swami indicated many things in the book, ‘Aura of the Divine’. The following chart is from page 15 of that book.

Kali Yuga Spiritual Ignorance Negative Vasanas

Dwapara Yuga Knowledgeable but unwise Mixed vasanas

Treta Yuga Enlightened with wisdom Positive Vasanas

Highly Meditative Spiritual Sathya Yuga Vasana –lessness Awareness

Beneath the chart was the quote Swami gave a few days ago on a paper, which was folded around a picture of my feet. I have written about this in chapter nine. As there is no spirituality in this Kali Yuga and only negative vasanas, people suffer greatly. As humanity does not know the reason for their difficulties, Swami descended in this Age and preached to the people. In Dwapara Yuga, though there was knowledge and the people had knowledge, they were unwise and lacked discrimination. As there were both good and bad vasanas, it was possible to separate the good from the bad. In Kali Yuga, it is not possible to separate the good from the bad, as all are filled with many bad qualities. Good qualities are less in all. In Treta Yuga, all were filled with wisdom, all lived life, walking on the path of dharma; living life according to the scriptural dictates. The people were good and led moral lives. In all fields and all relationships, there was only love and spirituality. In the Sathya Yuga, all lived highly meditative lives and had spiritual awareness. There were no old vasanas. Humanity lived only for God. All knew the goal of life and the sacredness of their birth. All performed their actions in thoughts of God.

69 Four Yugas (Eras) and Means to Attain Dharma (Righteousness) Yagnas Yagas Yogas Tapas Required Padas ( Sacrifice) (Rituals) (Efforts) (Austerity) Yugas Kritha Yuga 3 3 3 3 All four Treta Yuga 3 3 3 t Only three Dwapara Yuga t 3 3 t Only two Kali Yuga t t 3 t Only one

Here, Swami put stars and wrote, ‘Amma’s lectures, Dharma stands on four legs and drew a five pointed star. In Kritha Yuga, people perform yagna and yaga. What is yagna? This was the sacrificing of animals. Yaga was performed according to the scriptures. Yoga means our effort. For spiritual practice, whatever effort we make is termed yoga. In the Bhagavad Gita, Sri Krishna indicates 18 types of yoga. Whatever effort we make for our spiritual progress is yoga. Next, let us look at the Kritha Yuga. How many types of tapas were there? Bhagiratha performed the penance of standing on one leg for thousands of years in order to bring the Ganges down to the earth. Many performed tapas in forests eating only the leaves and fruits that fell from the trees. We cannot say how many different types of tapas there are. As all performed penance, the Kritha Yuga stood on four legs of dharma. In the Treta Yuga there was yagna, yaga and yoga but no tapas. There was no need for austerities. The kings ruled their people justly and protected them. In that age, dharma stood on three legs. The rishis performed tapas and the kings ruled the kingdoms. As ordinary people performed yaga, yagna and yoga, they were filled with wisdom and positive vasanas, there are no negative ones. Next is the Dwapara Yuga. In Dwapara, there was a mixture of both good and bad vasanas. Though there was knowledge, wrong deeds were committed as many acted without discrimination, unwisely. In this age, there was no yagna or tapas and only yaga and Yoga. When Pandu was living in the forest, Kunthi gave birth to the child Dharmaraja, as she was blessed with the grace of a rishi. When Gandhari, who was pregnant at the time, heard this, she beat her own stomach as her child was not born. She then gave birth to a ball of flesh. The mass of flesh was then divided into a 100 pieces and placed in pots and covered. Thus, the 100 Kauravas were born. It was her jealousy and anger that created the 100 children, which in the end destroyed their entire clan. In fact, the clans of all kings were destroyed. Here we see how children are born through feelings. It is through our feelings either a Dharmaraja or a Duryodhana is

70 born. These two men are examples of good vasanas (Dharmaraja) and bad vasanas (Duryodhana) and how in Dwapara Yuga, dharma stood on two legs. Kali Yuga - In Kali there is no yaga, yagna or tapas. There is only Bhakthi Yoga. Thus, Dharma stands on one leg, which is shaking and unable to stand properly. All in the world are responsible for this. There is no spirituality in this Age. No one even thinks to know about God. The attention of all is only on ‘I and mine’. All are collecting things for themselves for selfish reasons. It is through collecting in this way that they spoil their life. The reason why all lack discrimination is due to attachment. We must know clearly that when we leave this world, we do not take anything with us. God alone is permanent. This thought must be deeply imprinted in the mind. Then only can one escape from the cycle of birth and death. This greatest Avatar came here and preached for 84 years. He gave new life to the Yaga Yagna, which had been forgotten. He established places where pundits could chant the Vedas and perform Mahayagas! He gave new meaning to the word penance. The Gita, which He preached before in Dwapara Yuga as Krishna, He now showed and taught all how to practice. He taught that all actions should be made into a penance. He performed Veda Purusha Jnana Yagna and Maha Adi Rudra Yagna. He Himself conducted these and performed them in many places. How much He has done and inspired others to do! I am performing penance to make Kali Yuga into Sathya Yuga. Whatever Swami tells me I explain to all. I have written about the decline of dharma through the four Ages. As the Age changes, so one leg of dharma is lost. Thus the dharma, which once stood on four legs, only stands on one in the Kali Yuga. I have written about and explained this decrease through 110 books. It is for this alone Swami wrote, ‘Amma’s lectures’. By lectures, He means my writing. Yet, it does not matter if others read my words or not. My feelings go out into the world through the Vishwa Brahma Garbha Kottam and the Stupi changing everything in the world. They make the Kali Yuga into a new Sathya Yuga. A new Age is born. In this New Age, dharma will stand on four legs. All will live according to Swami’s teachings. Swami and my feelings go into each and everyone in the world. Prema, Sathya and wisdom fill all. Here, Swami drew a star. This indicates that feelings go out through the Stupi in the star vibration. On page 17 of 'Aura of the Divine', the following passage was marked. Nature of Self of Incarnation 4.01 The difference between of divinity (as Universal Consciousness) and the Avatar, (Divine in human form) should be understood. The Parabrahman (Omniself) is not subject to change. The Avatar has name and form and is liable to change by its own Will. God is Cosmic Consciousness. For this only Swami says this is ‘Vaikunta, Param or Parabrahman’. He descends as Avatar through His own will and according to His own

71 will, He takes a name and form. In this way, Swami descended in Kali as Avatar with the name and form of Sathya Sai Baba. Swami then indicated the following passage with a tick mark.

The Teaching of an Avatar 4.03 The roadway laid out by holy men has to be repaired now and then, by either those who travel through it, or those claiming authority over it. That is what is called teaching or Bodha. It is for the sake of such repairs that the Lord sends occasionally some authorized individuals, sages and divine personages.

Now let us see about this. The path, which was laid before, is called Sanathana Dharma. It is the path to attain God through Vedic Scriptures. This was laid down by the rishis. At times for many reasons, the path may be in need of repair, so, God sends some who have authority and asks them to repair it. All happens accordingly. Now in this Kali Yuga, the path is in great need of repair. It is so bad that no one is able to travel on it. The path is covered by world karmas. The greatest Avatar now descends here and preaches. He separated Himself in two, the other half came as ‘I without i’. It is through its tears and feelings it makes the path anew, repairing it. It lays a clear path between Bhooloka and Vaikunta. In this Kali Yuga, other rishis or divine personalities are unable to correct the path. Thus, God Himself, separated in two and functions. I am suffering in this separation. I am suffering for the last 73 years in separation from Him. It is through this separation and tears I lay a new path. It is through my constant integrated thirst for Swami that I am doing all. Swami came here through His compassion for the suffering of the worldly people. I performed penance to attain Him as His half. We remove the world's karmas, which are the obstacle for our union. We lay a new path and bring Vaikunta down to earth. When I was writing about this penance, Swami told one thing. A few days ago, Swami gave a small sliver of glass, which was in the shape of an arrowhead. On the back was a big O and small e and r. 5 December 2012 Evening meditation Vasantha : Swami, what is the piece of mirror? There is a form inside? Swami : It is your body that changes fully. Vasantha : Swami I do not understand. Swami : You are writing about penance. For penance, there is a saying, ‘walking on a razor’s edge’. You are walking on the edge of this glass and performing penance, attaining world liberation. End of meditation

72 I wrote before on the many types of penance. The path of kundalini is akin to walking on a razor’s edge. If our attention changes or is diverted we can fall. Through intense sadhana, the chakras of kundalini open. When one performs sadhana in this way, awareness is required; otherwise, it is of no use. Until we attain the Ajna Chakra, our steadfast attention must be one pointedly on God. This is a must. Swami, showed this edge of a mirror. The world is a mirror that reflects how we are. My eyes never see anything other than Swami. My sadhana proves this. My kundalini came out as the Stupi. This is the proof. It spreads Swami’s and my feelings outside. In the entire world, only Swami and I will be seen. The entire creation is only Swami. My body is Prakrithi. When my body changes, the universe also changes. The Kali Age will then change into the Sathya Yuga. Thus, on the back Swami wrote a big O, meaning the whole universe becomes Poornam. E R means that all is repaired and changes anew; Kali changes into Sathya Yuga. Dharma will now stand on four legs. Before we built the Vishwa Brahma Garbha Kottam, Swami drew a picture of a dome with four pillars underneath. In my nadi, it declares the same; 'there should be four pillars supporting the dome'. The Garbha Kottam was built accordingly. There are four pillars inside the inner sanctum, with Matsya and Kurma Avatar carved into the wood. This symbolizes dharma standing on four legs in Kali and becoming the Sathya Yuga.

73 Chapter 15

How is Swami’s Body?

5 December 2012 Evening meditation Vasantha : Swami, You must come. I want to see You. Swami : Do not cry. I am coming only for you. How much love I pour on you! Has any Avatar done in this way? You came here through your compassion. I came here to show My love to you and to experience your love. Is it an easy task to remove world karmas? You suffer due to karmas. To help you I took all on My body. As you were unable to bear all, I took them on Myself and then left the body. Sure, I will come. Vasantha : Sure, You come Swami! Else, I will be unable to bear it. Swami : I will surely come and show who you are in front of the world. End of meditation

I am unable to bear the pangs of separation. I am crying and crying. For this Swami shows His love in many ways. No Avatar who has come before has shown their love outside. Swami is showering Prema on me and experiencing my Prema. Our feelings go out and change the world. This is His Avataric task. How great are the world's karmas? As I am unable to remove them alone, Swami took them on His own body and then left the world. He will now come again, call me and show who I am in front of the world. No matter how much Swami tells or writes, I am unable to bear the separation and I am crying and crying. Last night, we saw a video of Swami’s visit to Shimla. How many people were waiting to see Swami! When I saw this, I cried. How great is the compassion of this God! He walked among the people, taking letters from all, creating vibuthi and many other things. How much compassion! He went from city to city and showered His grace on all. I thought about this the whole night.

6 December 2012 Morning meditation Vasantha : Swami, how is nearness to God? Swami You said that You do not sleep. Then why am I sleeping like this? How many have been attracted by You? What are You like? Do You have the body of an ordinary man. What about Your feelings? How do You bathe? Do You ever feel hungry? How is Your saliva?

74 Swami : How many questions you are asking like this and crying? All are living human life naturally, casually. No one teaches them, what to eat, how to sleep and how to live. All research human life! You are researching God. Vasantha : Swami, I cannot understand human life. Swami : As you have never been born in this world so far, you do not understand. This all comes naturally to human beings, no one teaches them. Their experiences continue birth after birth. You are different. Vasantha : Swami I want to see Your body. Is it like a human body? Swami : You said in Prema Avatar that after the age of five, no one can see your body. My body is like that. The only thing visible is My feet, from the wrist down and My face. Only this can be seen by all. It is for this reason I wore a robe that covers all the body from the time I was young. You alone can see and will see. When you come, all your doubts will be cleared. You will see how God’s body is. Vasantha : Swami, all saw Your body! When they performed operations on it and lastly when they attached Your body to machines. Swami : That was the Maya body. In 2003, when you came for Shivarathri, My real body merged in you. What remained there was only a Maya body. I now come in a real form from you. Vasantha : Now I understand Swami, but I want to see You. You please come soon. Swami : Sure, I will come, call you and clear all your doubts. Vasantha : Swami, You write when You will come. You write Your feelings! I do not want Kannadasa’s song! I want this Kanha’s song. You write. Swami : Sure, I will write. End of meditation

Thinking about this, I did not sleep the whole night. I wanted to marry God from a young age. Since then, I have had all these thoughts about God. What does He eat? How does He sleep? What are His likes? The same thoughts! The same God came here and I alone could not see Him. I cannot know about Him. I am crying and crying uncontrollably. All people think, ‘What shall we cook? How shall we live? Where to build a house? How to make it comfortable? In this way, all are researching their whole life. These are the only thoughts they have, of themselves. From birth to death they are only in thoughts of ‘I and mine’. Man’s entire life is spent like this. I alone am different. I am unable to understand human life. As I was afraid to see old age, disease and death, I caught hold of God. I wanted to marry God and merge in

75 Him like Andal. As these were my continuous thoughts, I thought, ‘How is God? Is His body like a human body? Does He have old age and disease? What does He eat? Does He sleep? What does He like? How is God? What are His feelings ?’ These were my same thoughts. When a girl’s marriage is fixed, she spends all her time thinking of the one she will marry. ‘How does He talk? What does he like to eat? Which clothes does he like? She thinks in this way. My thoughts are the same, but unlike the newly married girl, they have not changed. After a few days of marriage, she does not care what he says or what he likes to eat! She only spent time thinking about him for a short while. But I am not like this. From birth until now, I have never changed. I have the same thoughts. This is because I do not know the answers to my questions. Swami said that He wore a robe from His youth, so all that could be seen of Him was His feet, wrists, hands, head and face. I placed a condition on Swami for coming in the Prema Avatar. I said no one should see my body after the age of five. For this, our marriage is fixed before we are born. No one will be able to think of us in an incorrect way. In the same way, Swami said He wore this robe. Yet, when the doctors performed hip and eye operations, they saw His body. When this happened, I was not able to accept and digest it. Why an operation for God? All easily accepted this, but I could not. After this, He was not able to walk properly and needed the help of two people to hold His hands. Swami was finally admitted into hospital. How many doctors tried in many different ways to help Him? They even put a pacemaker in Him to assist His breathing. He finally left His body and it was placed in a samadhi. Is this God? Has this happened to any previous Avatar? It was only then that Swami told He will come again. This all happened to His Maya body. After I was asked not to come to Puttaparthi, I did not go there for five years. Then in 2003, Swami told me to come back inside. It was then I saw Swami’s two forms in darshan, one of them disappearing. It was then that Swami said one form entered me. This was His real body. What remained in Puttaparthi was a Maya body. I have written about this in many books. It is from here Swami will come from a feelings form into a physical body. This is what He indicates. God’s deeds cannot be understood by any. They are beyond the man’s intellect and human understanding. Thinking of all this, I cry and cry. As no one sees God’s body, so what is God's body like? In the previous chapter, I wrote about what Swami indicated from the book, ‘Aura of the Divine’. When God is in Vaikunta and the Milky Ocean no one can see His form. The same God came here with a name and form. All could touch and see Him easily. This is all due to His compassion. World karmas have now finished. The body that was touched and seen by all was sacrificed for the sake of balancing the world's karma. Swami now comes in a new body. No one has seen this body. This body was in me for the last ten years as a feelings form. This feelings form will now take a physical form and come out. When I was crying and

76 crying about this, unable to control myself, Swami gave the following divine message. The message was written on a yellow piece of card, which had a scalloped edge made up of eight curves. The whole message was surrounded by an orange border. Here is the message: ... Do not shed tears when great things are happening, you should not be crying. Everything will be fine. This is for the welfare of the world. The whole world is going identify you as My Shakthi. No need of being afraid, you are Myself, isn’t it? Swami writes here that He will show who I am in front of the world.

6 December 2012 Noon meditation Vasantha : Swami, what is this You have written? Swami : You are always crying. I will call you on the 26th. This is for sure. When I see you there alone, I will come as in Prema Sai Avatar, in dhoti and jippa. You must see this. When you see touch Me, you will be happy. Vasantha : Swami, I am not eligible to touch Your new pure Poorna body. How to see it with these imperfect eyes? How to touch You with this dirty body? Swami : When I remove your glasses on the 26th, you will have full vision and the body will change and come anew. How many years have you yearned to see, talk and touch Me. You now say you are ineligible. All will change then on the 27th, I will declare publically who you are. All will happen, do not cry. Vasantha : Okay Swami, now I will not cry. Shall I write this? Swami : Yes, you write. You want to see My body and then cry that your body is ineligible to see and touch Me. This is coming as the New Creation. End of meditation As I am always crying wanting to see Swami, He has written in this way. Now great things are happening, things that have never happened in the world before. The world is changing from Kali Age to Sathya Yuga. Thus, Swami asks me not to cry. It is customary in families preparing for a big function to ask all in the family not to cry as it is a bad omen. This is what Swami tells now. All will be fine. This is for the welfare of the world. This is the task of the Avatar. In order for the world to change, it is turned completely upside down. Swami will call me to Prasanthi on the 26th May and will reveal who I am on the 27th May. At that time, the whole world will identify me as Swami’s Shakthi. The secret that has been covered for the last 73 years will now be revealed. Then only will my tears, fears and yearning come to an end. I write whatever Swami tells in meditation. Though all the rishis and siddhas declare who I am, Swami has not. Thus, I am suffering. When Swami told this, I was very happy. Even if the entire world believes in me, I will never have peace until Swami

77 Himself tells. This is the reason for my fear. So He said "have no fear, you are Myself." We are both the same. We are one become two. When Swami sees me alone, He will wear a dhoti and jippa. This is the dress of Prema Sai. At that time, He said I will touch and talk with Him and be happy. Yet, at that time also I will be afraid to see and touch Him. How can I touch God with this dirty body? He is Sampoorna God. I cannot touch Him with this dirty body. Generally, all have touched Swami’s feet. They caught hold of them and kissed them. I cannot do in this way. He is not an ordinary man. He is not an ordinary Avatar. Oh, worldly people have you no feelings of guilt? Contemplate, ‘Do I have the purity to touch Him?’ You contemplate. No one is allowed to touch the temple deity. It is only those who have the authority to do so. Special temple priests only are allowed to touch, no one else. No one is allowed to enter the sanctum sanctorum. As Swami is a walking God, He has allowed, all to touch Him. This is all due to the merits of your past births. Swami also called me to touch and talk with Him. When Swami gave group interviews, He would call one or two inside the inner room and talk with them. He will do the same now for Ashramites and family members, a three day group interview! Swami will call me for a special interview away from others. Yet, I cried to Swami that I am not eligible to see and touch Him. In answer to this, Swami said my body will change on the 26th May. It is for this He wrote, ‘126’ behind His message. This means we will see each other on 26 May. It is only if we have this much purity can we see God’s real form. After meditation, I picked up the book Amar left for me to read, Sathya Sai Speaks, volume 19. I randomly opened to page 92 where it read, Importance of physical and mental purity Purity (Soucham): Both internal and external purity are essential. We should try to ensure cleanliness of the body and purity of the mind.... The importance of physical cleanliness could be illustrated from a story in the Mahabharata. Once, the disciple of a Guru, after completing his studies, requested the Guru to state what he would like to receive as Guru- Dakshina (offering) from the disciple. The Guru asked the disciple to offer the earrings worn by a certain queen. The disciple ascertained who the queen was and went to the king to inform him of the mission on which he had come. The king permitted him to visit the queen's apartments to make his request. But he could not see the queen anywhere and reported his failure to the king. The king then told him that no person who was physically and mentally impure could see the queen. The disciple then went through a process of purification and was able to see the queen. …

78 One cannot see God without physical and mental purity. All casually saw Swami all these years, yet, this is like seeing a picture of Swami only. Due to the merit of previous births, you attained darshan, sparshan and sambashan. My state is different, my penance different. The great saints and sages had a vision of God and offered their mind, intellect, senses and ego to Him. Yet, none has offered the physical body to the Avataric God. I want to offer my body to Swami. This is the reason for my penance. In the book, Swami tells of both physical and mental purity. He tells that one should not perform any bad actions through the body. This is the meaning. Yet, I give a different meaning to physical purity. I want that this aged body to become young. I want the body, which has given birth to children to become virginal. All senses become wholesome. There should be no waste matters inside. Sweat and saliva should become fragrant. For this I am doing penance from a young age. This is physical purity, body purity. For this, I did not eat for one year. Yet, though I did not eat, waste matters still came! Why did they come if I did not eat? I cried to Swami. Swami then consoled me and little by little got me to start eating again. In my last moments, my body will change into a jyothi and merge in Swami’s body. Thus, I asked Swami what His saliva and sweat are like.

79 Chapter 16

Who Can See God?

Swami is the greatest Avatar, the Sampoorna Avatar, who has never come to this world before. He is the ocean of compassion that came to the world to teach wisdom to all. How much compassion! He roamed from village to village, city to city like a street singer, singing His songs on every stage. He sang thousands of devotional songs! At the beginning and end of each discourse, He would sing a song. He would finish with a bhajan. Swami, attracted lakhs of people to Him, opening up a path of devotion in their hearts and minds. He is the one who makes the Kali Yuga into the Sathya Yuga and has said chanting and singing bhajan is enough. It is this He has taught. Did Rama or Krishna roam from city to city, walking among the people, teaching in this way? What compassion! What compassion! My tears are pouring and I am not able to write. Yet, Swami, gave a chance to this dust to write His glories! Yesterday, Swami wrote the following on the front cover of the book 'Radha Krishna Sangamam': 20 1 =

7 December 2012 Noon meditation Vasantha : Swami why have You written 20 1 on the cover of 'Radha Krishna Sangamam'? Swami : Krishna comes out on 21st from inside Radha. Vasantha : Are You sure Swami? Is it true? This is enough for me...will You really come on the 21st? Swami : Sure I will come. Vasantha : Swami, please give one Mangala Sutra and I will change the thread on that day. Swami : Sure, I will give. You change. Vasantha : Swami, after You come, I will wear the new Mangala Sutra, new sari and just as one rounds Tirupati, I will go around the Stupi 16 times. I will then give the Mangalya to Tirupati. Swami, You give the new sacred thread... it is only You who gives each time I change it. End of meditation

80 On the front cover of the book ‘Radha Krishna Sangaman’, it tells Sai Krishna will come out on 21st. It was in 2003, on the day of Shivarathri that Swami went within me. He will now come out on the 21 December. Swami left His body and then from Swarga descended to seven different places. The seventh place is the Hill House. This is my 'Heart House'. Now from there, He will come. He emerges from Vasantha Sai Sangamam, Vasantha Sai Merger. It is this He shows through writing on the book. Who other than God can show in this way? Swami shows each state and asks me to wear different Mangalyas. For this Swami Himself gave a ball of sacred threads and a kumkum container. These have now all been used. For the last thread I changed, He gave a single Mangala Sutra. Kodhai made a Vadakkampatti Mangalya with Swami’s and my form on it. This is what I wear now. As I must change my Mangala Sutra when Swami comes, I have been asking Him to give a new thread. I will then wear the Vadakkampatti Mangalya and give the other to the temple at Tirupati. Swami wrote before that 108 times around Tirupati is equal to 16 times around the Stupi. Therefore, I will go around the Stupi 16 times.

8 December 2012 Meditation Vasantha : Swami, my Prabhu, how is Your body? Swami : Due to your unquenchable thirst of 73 years, you will now see. This extent of physical and mental purity is needed. Only then can one see God. No one can see My real form. Vasantha : It must happen Swami. Swami : It will happen 26 May 2013. You count this and see... Vasantha : Swami 2 + 6 = 8, 8 + 5 = 13, 13 + 2 = 15, 15 + 1 =16, 16 + 3 =19. Swami : 8 means Vaikunta, 13 means 1 becomes 3, 15 means your body changes, 16 means the 16 attributes, 19 means your divine qualities. Only if one has 19 qualities can they see God. In this world, no one has these 19 qualities except you. Thus, no one can know God. Vasantha : In my young age too, I wanted to know about You in this way. Swami : I am also wondering what it will be like to be near you. How will it be to touch this wisdom ocean? How will it be when I talk to you? It is in this way I have been thinking. This is the only one thing God never knows. This is experience. I am thinking in this way. You always think how My body is. As you are always thinking in this way, you will finally enter My body and see in there. This is why I wrote, ‘You are Myself’. This is our final merger. Vasantha : Swami You must come on the 21st. End of meditation

81 I have had 73 years of unquenchable thirst to see Swami. Due to this unquenchable thirst, I have performed constant integrated penance; every moment is penance. Each of my senses, seeing, hearing, talking, touching do not function without Swami. Every breath I take is Swami. This is my penance. The reason for my penance is ‘I want to see Swami’. How is He? How is God’s body? Though I want to see God’s body, I do not know what a human body is like. This is my body’s purity. As I have constantly thought of God’s body since I was young, automatically my body changes. This is Brahmavid Brahmaiva Bhavathi. Swami has now given a gigantic explanation for what will happen on the 26 May. Swami and I came here, as Adi, the whole and Padi, its half from Vaikunta. We are the Primal Soul and His half; we are the two who came from the One. I am born from Swami. The New Creation comes from us only. This is One becomes two and two becomes three: God, Shakthi and the Creation. The three are one. All is Sai Brahman. Only He is in all. Now 15. The 15 principles in my body must change. Swami shows this 15 as they will change on that day. Next 16 – this indicates 16 kalas or attributes of God. Swami is the Poorna Avatar with 16 attributes. Lastly 19 – this represents my 19 qualities. It is only through these 19 qualities that one can see God. However, these nineteen qualities must be complete, whole and perfect, not part qualities. Each quality must be the peak of that quality. I have written about this in the book, ‘Bliss Bliss Bliss' Pt. 2, explaining each quality through the nineteen different chapters. Only if one attains this perfection in each quality can they see God. Yet, no one has totality in these 19 qualities. Thus, they cannot know about Swami. Today Swami gave a small plastic cover with a container of kumkum, a small round mirror with 15 curves around the edge and 4 strings of black beads, 60 on each loop. All the things are given for marriage. It is the custom for some castes, Brahmins too, to thread black beads on the Mangala Sutra at the time of marriage. I had asked Swami for the sacred thread and He has given in this way. The round mirror with the 15 curves shows that the 15 principles of my body must change. The mirror tells, ‘after your body changes, you look in the mirror and you will see!’ Swami then gave a paper that had His ashtothram on one side with ‘Sai Ram’ written there. On the other side, was a meditation from 1998. Let us see what was said.

30 July 1998 Meditation 2:30 am Vasantha : Swami, for how many days have I not seen You? Swami : How many days? What is this? Vasantha : Oh Swami’s eyes pouring grace, are You well? Oh Swami’s amrith lips, are You well? Oh Swami’s beautiful cheeks, are You well?

82 Oh nose, Universal life force, are You well? Oh valley at the bridge of the nose, Where all devotees fall into, are You well? Oh forehead, the source of wisdom are You well? Oh head, containing the world’s telephone exchange, Are You well? Swami : How your love is pouring? I am the most fortunate in all 14 Worlds to have such a Goddess. Vasantha : Swami, it does not matter how many times I see You, I cannot control this yearning. It always seems as if I am seeing You after a long time. End of meditation

This is what was written in 1998. I see Swami in every meditation, yet, I yearn as though I have not seen Him for a long time. Night and day, I do not sleep. This meditation was from 2:30 am. Here I ask Swami, “How long is it since I saw You?” Swami then replies that we have only just seen and spoken to each other. It is customary after not seeing someone for a long time to ask, ‘How are you, are you well?’ It is in this way I ask each of Swami’s limbs, ‘Are You well, how are You?’ I was unable to control my love and cried and cried. I saw each limb and asked after its welfare! Why am I alone like this? Why this bond of love? This love has not decreased all these 73 years. ‘Oh, is this the pot of never ending amrit? This unbearable amrit fills up this world'? It is only when Swami indicated this paper that I understood my own state. 9 December 2012 Morning meditation Vasantha : Swami, I am writing about what You gave yesterday. Have I written correctly? Swami : Is there any mad person who would tell as you have? This much love has never been shown before to God! The Shakthi of the Avatar has never shown in this way. It is this extent of love only that changes the Kali to Sathya Yuga. This is what Swami said. The Shakthis of the previous Avatar’s never showed this much love. From my very young age, I have wanted to know of Swami’s body. What is the difference between a human body and God’s body? I have the same thoughts now. They are always with me. I will finally enter God’s body and see inside. This is what Swami said. This is Yath Bhavam Tat Bhavathi - as you think so it becomes.

83 I cannot understand the human body and often ask Yamini, ‘Is your body like this?” This is because this is the first time I have come in a human body. Thus, I do not understand it. However, God has also come in human form. His body must be different. This constant integrated contemplation transforms my body into a blemishless jyothi and enters Swami’s body. Swami is now also thinking the same and wonders how my nearness will be? Why is God thinking like a human being? This is because He has no experience. The Avatars come and establish dharma. I have said repeatedly, they only function in the Witness state. Even if they marry, they never experience love from their wife and children. They only come and complete their task mechanically. They do not know the love of their wife and children. This Avatar comes to experience love and show His response to my love. This is because it is His Avataric task. Through this action, New Creation will be born. All are thinking of the Atma, the Truth declared by the Vedas and Scriptures. Why am I thinking of body, body, body? This is for the creation of the countless bodies needed for New Creation. I am thinking of Swami’s body for this New Creation. People behave without dharma, as they have no love. Thus, Swami now establishes dharma with love as the basis. The only one thing, which God does not know, is experience. Thus, we will experience for three days and then the task of the Avatar will once again continue. God’s desire to experience is the reason He comes again as the Prema Sai Avatar. It is at this time I will come as Prema and we will experience. Here God lives an ideal family life. This is the epic life of this greatest Avatar. A few days ago, Swami gave a picture that was made up of seven bands of color in a diamond-like shape.

In the center, blue, then purple, green, yellow, orange, blue and on the outside edge pink. The word ‘luv’ was written underneath. There were seven levels.

84 5 December 2012 Noon meditation Vasantha : What is this drawing Swami? Swami : It shows our love expanding and filling the world. Vasantha : Swami, tell more! Swami : This is your heart. Your penance on the lotus comes as New Creation. The Antaryami, who resides in your heart, expands more and more becoming the merger color. Our love then spreads throughout the world. End of meditation

This is my heart. In the center is the blue Indweller; the purple indicates Swami’s and my merger. Through this, the entire creation becomes new and evergreen. The yellow and orange indicate Swami and I. The blue and pink are for Krishna and Radha. The Prema of Radha and Krishna and Swami and I expands filling the world. This becomes the Sathya Yuga. The form looked like a spinning top, which symbolizes the world rotating. The axis is love. The world is rotating on the ‘nail point of love’. The basis of which is the love of Swami and I and Radha and Krishna. The world now functions with this love at its center, as its very basis. The world will rotate on this axis of love for one thousand years. Then the axis will become an axe! The second Kali Age will return. Jai Sai Ram!

85 EPILOGUE

Vasantha : Swami, tell the epilogue for this book. Swami : You stopped pralaya through your tears. You stop destruction through your thirst for God. Now, you write yourself. End of meditation

All said that much destruction would take place. Similarly, Swami said, ‘before I come some destruction will take place.’ He said that He would come on the 21st, but did not. I cried and wailed that I cannot live anymore. It was only then that Swami showed something to console me. Under my picture, He wrote: You stopped pralaya through your tears. The suffering that all should experience during the destruction in pralaya, I suffered in my body. Only in this way could all be made to balance. It is for this reason Swami said that He would come, but did not. * As I am Prakrithi, I took upon myself all the suffering that was for the world and balanced all. To give mukthi to the world, Swami and I accepted all karma in our body and suffered. This is the Paramatma Satcharita. Here there is no beginning or no end. Who can write His glories? It is through my suffering that His grace is shown. He is the compassionate Lord, who descends here to bestow the bliss of mukthi to the world. This epilogue is the prologue for the next book. So readers, patiently read every book in the correct order. Only then can you understand this Paramatma Satcharita. I am writing but a mere drop of Swami’s ocean of glory. Victory to Him! Victory to His glory! Jai Sai Ram! the dust of His feet... Vasantha

*Swami came out on 21 December 2012, as we all had hoped, but in the invisible body.

86 LIST OF CURRENT Last 7 Days of God Who is in Swami’s Heart? Prema Sai Part 3 - Sai Digest Who is in Swami’s Heart? Part 2 - New Bliss PUBLICATIONS Brahma Sutra - Part 1, 2 Sacred Nadi Readings:Sri Sathya Sai Baba Shiva Sutra - Part 1, 2 & Sri Vasantha Sai The Sathya Yuga and Karmic Law Brilliance of a Million Suns Liberation Here Itself Right Now Part 1 Autobiography of ‘I without I’ Experience New Reincarnation of Radha as Vasantha Sai Karmic Law Remedy eBooks - Vishwagarbha Sai Cosmic Womb Radha Krishna Sangamam Chaitanya: The Task of the Avatar & - Struggle For Truth Prema Nivarana Sai God and His Consort - Highlights of the Avataric Task Liberation Here Itself Right Now Part 2 The Stupi Book - Swami Has Come! Sai Gita Pravachanam Ten Avatars on One - Avatar Amends Liberation Here Itself Right Now Part 3 Taste and Vasana and Divine Blossoms - Radha Krishna Wedding Book Brindavan Satsang Divine Stories - Countless Bodies + Countless Bliss Bliss Bliss Part 1 Ananda Sutra Hearts Equals Brahman Bliss Bliss Bliss Part 2 My Father’s Diary – Living Gita - Kaamadeva Becomes Jnana Rama May 27 to May 27 How the Sathya Yuga is Coming - The Primal Stupi Miracle maya Part 1 Vasantha Sai Satcharita Part I, 2, 3 - Atma Satcharita Gita Govindam Again Part 1 Amma’s Thoughts for the Day -Paramatma Satcharita Prema Sai Premavatar Part 1 Avatar’s Secret Part I, 2 Beyond the Upanishads For information contact: Essence of the Gita Prema Sai Avatar Part 2-Beyond the Sri Vasantha Sai Books & Vedic Principles for meditation Vedas: The Supreme Absolute Publications Trust Principle of Becoming God Wisdom’s Mine 1 [email protected] Wisdom’s Mine 2 Gita Govindam Again Part 2- [email protected] Establishment of Prema Sai Sons – Seven Chakras Shiva Shakthi Principle - A Declaration Who am I?