Rosemia's Boo-Boo TH6 MA61C SP6LL NUMBER 124 JANUARY 1969 VITAL FEATURES
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OUR PRICE IN THIS ISSUE... Rosemia's Boo-boo TH6 MA61C SP6LL NUMBER 124 JANUARY 1969 VITAL FEATURES ROSEMIA'S BOO-BOO "When it comes to hindsight, everybody's got 20—20 vision!" (A MAD MOVIE —Alfred E. Neuman SATIRE) Pg.4 WILLIAM M. GAINES publisher ALBERT B. FELDSTEIN editor JOHN PUTNAM art director LEONARD BRENNER production JERRY Dc FUCCIO, NICK MEGLIN associate editors JACK ALBERT lawsuits GLORIA ORLANDO, CELIA MORELLI, JOAN ZECCA, CURTIS ANDERSON subscriptions CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS AND WRITERS the usual gang of idiots MAD'S FOLLOW-UP REPORT ON DEPARTMENTS PROGRESS Pg.12 A WART-WINNING DEPARTMENT A MAD "Show Biz Success Story" 26 BERG'S-EYE VIEW DEPARTMENT The Lighter Side Of Physical Fitness 32 ... BEING A FRUIT-FLY POBS DON MARTIN DEPARTMENT HAVE ITS APVANTAGBS... One Day In Baghdad 11 A MAD LOOK AT BUGS DOWN TO EARTH DEPARTMENT 'N WORMS A MAD Look At Bugs 'n Worms 'n Things 16 'N THINGS FOR WHOM THE BELLES TOED DEPARTMENT Pg.16 What Is A Make-out Man? 5 Z2ZjZzItzZ GOD HELP US, EVERY ONE! DEPARTMENT Christmas Is 38 HATE-TO-THE-BAR DEPARTMENT Songs Of Crime, Violence, War, Hate, Bigotry, etc 28 JOKE AND DAGGER DEPARTMENT WHAT Spy Vs. Spy 15, 31 ISA MAKE-OUT LAYING A DEVILED EGG DEPARTMENT MAN? Rosemia's Boo-boo (A MAD Movie Satire) 4 Pg.24 LETTERS DEPARTMENT Random Samplings Of Reader Mail 2 MARGINAL THINKING DEPARTMENT Drawn-Out Dramas By Aragones ** OY-VEGAS DEPARTMENT Casey At The Dice 19 SONGS OF PATENT-PANNING DEPARTMENT CRIME, VIOLENCE, MAD's Follow-Up Report On Progress 12 HATE, ETC. POLL-TAXED DEPARTMENT Pg.28 If Surveys Had Been Used Through History 22 PROFIT AND LAWLESS DEPARTMENT MafiaCo's 1968 Annual Report 41 TRITE AND TRUE DEPARTMENT MAD's Late Night TV Cliche Movie Script 37 **Various Places Around The Magazine CHRISTMAS IS... MAD—Jan. 1969 Vol. 1, No. 124 is published monthly except February, May, August and November, by E. C. Publications, Inc., 485 MADison Avenue, New York, N. Y. 10022. Second Class Postage paid at Pg. 38 New York, N. Y. Subscriptions: In the U.S.A., 17 issues $5.00. Outside U.S.A., 17 issues $6.25. Allow 10 weeks for change of address to become effective. Entire contents copyright © 1968 by E. C. Publica tions, Inc. The Publisher and Editors will not be responsible for unsolicited manuscripts and request all manuscripts be accompanied by a stamped self-addressed return envelope. The names of characters used in all MAD fiction and semi-fiction are fictitious. A similarity without satiric purpose to a living person is a coincidence. Printed in U.S.A. LETTERS DEFT, MAD'S IDEAL CANDIDATE GENTEEL BEN "MAD's Ideal Presidential Candidate" Dick De Bartolo's hilarious script, and (MAD #122) was by far the most in Don Martin's inimitable art made "Gen genious article I have ever seen in your teel Ben" one of the most refreshing TV magazine. Lou Silverstone and Max Bran- satires you've done in a long time. del deserve much credit for the amount of Frank Perle research that must have gone into the Pt. Washington, N.Y. article. Thomas French Hooray for MAD! At long last, some Glastonbury, Conn. one has satirized the most utterly sicken UPDATED COMIC STRIP HEROES ing show Television has ever produced. "MAD's Ideal Presidential Candidate" It was perfect. Long live MAD Magazine! "MAD's Updated Comic Strip Heroes" was absolutely PRICELESS! E. L. Thornhill IV (#122) was a gem. Bob Clarke and Max Ann Keller Independence, La. Brandel should be proclaimed "National El Paso, Texas Heroes"! Charles Mattina Don Martin doing TV satires is the Queens, N.Y. "MAD'S Ideal Presidential Candidate" crummiest idea you've come up with. Let was a stroke of sheer genius. Don stick to Don Martin stuff and Mort Kirby Nish Drucker do the TV satires! I cracked up when I read "MAD's Up Danville, Calif. Geof Miller dated Comic Strip Heroes". You have got Toronto, Can. to be the cleverest people in the world! Teri Peterson Your "Ideal Presidential Candidate" San Leandro, Calif. was truly an imaginative creation, worthy "Genteel Ben" was so funny, I couldn't of much praise. Now, how about present BEAR it! ing "MAD's Ideal Staff Member"? I am Robert Berard "Updated Comic Strip Heroes" was a sure that, without much effort, you could Springfield, Mass. disgrace! How can you ridicule such a assemble that same charismatic face we all great man as George Wallace, the man know and love by artfully chopping up who will lead us out of our lawless wilder- and reassembling portraits of MAD's MOVIE MONSTERS Editors and Writers. "A MAD Look At Movie Monsters" Mike Ward Lucy Cornwell was the funniest thing I have ever read in Fort Smith, Ark. Glens Falls, N.Y. your magazine, and I've read a lot of funny things in your magazine. My con Thank you, thank you, thank you for gratulations to Sergio Aragones. calling George Wallace what he is ... a THE FUTURE LONG-LONG CIGARETTE Wallie Walker Trenton, N.J. menace! Al Jaffee has done it again. "When We James Massay Have The Future Long-Long Cigarette" Grafton, Va. has topped them all. What genius! What ... A "Monsterpiece"!! artistry! Keep up the good work, Al! Hey, Eli Bryk why aren't you writing the rest of the Far Rockaway, N.Y. MAD MINI-MOVIES magazine? Gary Heller Your satire on "Guess Who's Throw Laurelton, N.Y. MAD FOREIGN PROPAGANDA ing Up Dinner?" was well written and out of sight. It was also marvelous, excel Anti-American feelings abroad could "Long-Long Cigarettes" proves once be reduced, I think, if copies of MAD lent, superb and sensational. In other again that MAD will go to any lengths to words, it was pretty good. were sent throughout the world. Then, get a laugh! foreign peoples would realize that all Brandon Moore Susan Clarke Compton, Calif. Americans cannot be held responsible for Lafayette, Ind. the actions of a few! Dennis Harrington Seattle, Wash. "In Cold Blecch!" was disgusting. Be A CBS SUMMER MEMO sides being not the least bit humorous, it was also in very poor taste. In fact, it was "A CBS Summer Memo To The almost as bad as the movie. Smothered Brothers" was the funniest BURNING ISSUES RESOLVED Chuck Connell thing in your October issue. You guys did In the United States, "Law and Order", Norwalk, Conn. a good job showing what they're up "Vietnam" and "MAD Magazine" are the against. burning issues of the day. The last one, of Neal Desby course, is the easiest to resolve—namely by Your satire, "The Post-Graduate", was Hollywood, Calif. burning every issue! well-deserved. To think that a College "Graduate" would be that "uninformed" R. K. Lowell is unbelievable! That was a madly funny "Summer Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. Steve Sloan Memo" in your October issue. For Tom Williston, S.C. and Dick, Ken Kragen and Ken Fritz, our congratulations to MAD and especially to MOST OVERWORKED MAD-MAN? Ronnie Nathan and Jack Rickard. May After finishing your latest issue, I have "Guess Who's Throwing Up Dinner?" we have permission to reprint this page come to the conclusion that Mr. Jack had me doing just that! "In Cold Blecch" in the "Smothers Brothers Newsletter" Albert (Lawsuits) is probably the most was one of the year's best garbage can which will go out to about 10,000 mem overworked person on your staff. liners! And the "Post-Graduate" ruined bers of the Smothers Brothers Fan Club? Marc McGarry one of the finest movies of the year! If it sounds like we are fans of yours, we Brookline, Mass. Thank Heavens your satires are improv are! ing! Dennis Shanahan Please Address All Correspondence To: Thomas Rode The Smothers Brothers Show MAD, Dept. 124, 485 MADison Avenue Lake City, Fla. Beverly Hills, Calif. New York, New York 10022 HAUNTED BY THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENTS? LIFT YOUR SPIRITS BY GIVING... 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