www.ExpressGayNews.com • March 31, 2003 • Q1

CYMK Q_COVERstory South Beach Nightlife Newsflash! Sassy DJ Escape Signs Residency at Miami’s Crobar By Andy Zeffer Nightclub. Escape describes his style as a they were looking for and were out by 3am. Features Editor lot of tribal, base-driven beats. He says he But the gay boys knew the music, and they Quick-witted DJ Escape announced last usually begins with high energy, flattens stayed until the lights went up in the week that he has signed a residency at it for awhile and then peaks again so he afternoon. The music was part of their lives, Miami’s hot nightclub, Crobar. Escape held can enjoy watching everyone tear apart just as it was mine.” prior residency at the now-defunct Liquid, the dance floor. Escape, who is straight, says that 90 the once popular playpen of Madonna’s pal The DJ shoots straight from the hip percent of his gigs are for gay crowds. The Ingrid Cesares. when it comes to the difference between gay DJ says crowds can look forward to new The native New Yorker first began crowds and straight crowds, which he first stuff, but at the same time, he’ll give them spinning hip hop and reggae tunes at age noticed early in his career. what they want to hear. 13, but became enthralled by dance music “The straight boys were looking for a His next mix CD, Circuit Party Volume during a visit to Manhattan’s Palladium piece of ass,” he says. “They found what 8, will be released April 2003 by SPG Music. Circuit Update Winter Party Releases this Year’s Figures By Andy Zeffer organizations that started a year ago. Features Editor The GLFSF provides grants to a number The Gay and Lesbian Foundation of of organizations serving the gay, lesbian and South Florida (GLFSF) have released the transgender communities. The organizations results of Winter Party events, announcing include Project YES, Pridelines Youth that a net amount of $325,000 was raised. Services, Miami Gay & Lesbian Film Festival, Though the results were a bit lower than last NO to Discrimination/SAVE Dade, Food for year, GLFSF President Joe Guerrero said he Life Network, Mothers’ Voices (dedicated to hopes that keeping a tighter check on HIV education for parents) and many “...the gay boys expenses will mean more grant funds despite professional and social organizations. the dip. The next GLFSF fundraising event will knew the music, and they Winter Party 2003 was a celebration of be AquaGirl, coming to Miami Beach May stayed until the lights music, dance, comedy, film and art that took 15-18, which is targeted primarily to the female went up in the afternoon. place March 1 through March 10. The GLFSF GLBT community. For AquaGirl information, cited the expansion of the Winter Party to visit www.AquaGirl.org. To find out more The music was part of Broward County this year, to coincide with about GLFSF, visit their website at their lives, just as it was the foundation’s funding of Broward County www.glfsf.org or call them at 305.572.1841. mine.” -DJ Escape

Q2 • www.ExpressGayNews.com • March 31, 2003

CYMK Q_EXCLUSIVEinterview The Real Word ‘The Real World’ Star Dan Renzi Set to Attend Gay Life Expo Miami By Andy Zeffer “It is a cottage industry,” Renzi admits. Features Editor “The Real World started Survivor, and Dan Renzi settles into conversation with Survivor kept us going. It’s a total symbiotic a reporter over the phone as easily as he relationship. You’ll never hear Real World would with a few close friends in his living cast complain about Survivor,” Renzi jokes. room. It comes as no surprise that Renzi beat For Renzi, his first time appearing on out 40,000 other hopeful applicants to appear reality TV wasn’t so easy. He claims a lot of on The Real World: Miami. His outgoing things are taken out of context. He goes on demeanor makes him an interesting to explain that if you take things out of context personality on the enduringly popular MTV and people’s motivations aren’t shown, you series, so much so that MTV has brought end up with a weird conglomeration of goofy him back as one of the contestants on Real stories that are entertaining to watch— World/Road Rules Battle of the Sexes, entertaining for the audience but horrifying currently airing on the network. A favorite of to the person who partook. Renzi had to force gay and straight fans alike, Renzi’s good himself to watch an all-night marathon a few looks are easy on the eyes as well. years after his first appearance, where he had It’s these same attributes that Renzi to force himself to hold his eyes to the screen. brings to his volunteer and spokesperson But this time around is different. The work, so it makes sense that he will be cast member who once clashed with his appearing at The Gay Life Expo Miami as roommates is now a bit older, more mellowed part of the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) out, but most importantly, does not take the booth. The Gay Life Expo Miami is a gathering show or himself that seriously anymore. It of over 100 gay-owned and gay-friendly has been a while since he was first thrust “in businesses from across the country, a place the fish bowl” as it were, and things have to network, make connections, shop, plan a changed. vacation, wine and dine and much more. And “Now I love it. It is just so much fun,” he what social and business event would be says of his current appearances. complete these days without reality The MTV hottie is now busy pursuing television being represented? further showbiz endeavors, putting his But Renzi’s work with HRC means much experiences together as a basis for stand-up more than that. He began volunteering with comedy. His one-man show, I Don’t Talk Too the organization to make a difference, not Much, is witty, irreverent and very, very blunt. strut his reality television status around. As Renzi says his style of comedy is similar to “I can go to a university and people are more a matter a fact, he was volunteering in the famous comedienne Margaret Cho, in that office stuffing envelopes and taking calls much of his material is based on his family. inclined to listen to me,” —Dan Renzi before the concept of using him as a For example, explaining to his grandmother spokesperson ever came up. It wasn’t until a what The Real World is turned out to be a 20- young staffer came aboard, recognized him minute ordeal. The same stories, in fact, from MTV and concluded that he could be helped him land a spot on the program. used much more advantageously to the So how does being an attractive gay guy organization. Specifically, he could be used on major network television affect one’s to help target the college demographic. personal and social life? “After MTV, I had this chunk of spare “It has eliminated my sex life,” Renzi time on my hands,” Renzi says. “I thought I jokes. could either spend it drinking beer and Ironically, most of Renzi’s friends and watching TV or I can move on and do the people he dates don’t have cable. “I don’t something. It wasn’t an attitude like I was know if that’s the type of personality I am on reality TV so, therefore, I can change the drawn to or if it makes it easier that they world, but I was someone with time to give.” haven’t seen me on MTV,” he says. And he has given time, hitting the He goes on to explain that every so often campaign trial with HRC this past November. someone will approach him with, “You’re Dan He also lectures about HIV transmission, and from The Real World,” but that everyone has been certified as an HIV counselor since else’s reaction is that he doesn’t want to be college. bothered. In fact, he thinks most people have “I can go to a university and people are the urge to purposefully not speak to him. more inclined to listen to me,” Renzi says. That is something that frustrates Renzi, who His continued presence on MTV helps believes that “the vast majority of people are make him a recognizable figure to the younger friendly and respectable.” demographic. In fact, The Real World has So with that in mind, be sure to come to become a cottage industry for Renzi and many the expo. And while you’re there, be sure to of his fellow cast mates. Renzi is surprised to swing by the HRC booth, where the see himself on the network years later. engaging Real World star awaits your hello.

The Gay Life Expo Miami will be at the Miami Beach Convention Center Saturday, April 5, noon-7pm and Sunday, April 6, noon-6pm. For more information, call 212.352.3535 or visit www.GayLifeExpo.com.

www.ExpressGayNews.com • March 31, 2003 • Q3

CYMK Q_THEATERreview In Gay Company Pays Off with Big Laughs Cabaret-Style Show Bridges the Years with Songs and Clever Acting By Mary Damiano one-night stand, the pressure on Toes,” which features Dan Arts & Entertainment Editor “bachelors” to get married, the Kelley, Peter Sentkowski and In Gay Company, which plays this consequences of cruising in a theater Danny Ducello in outrageous weekend at the Religious Science Fort balcony, gay infiltration in the firehouse ballet togs. Lauderdale, is a classy revue filled with ranks—and all are played for maximum The five cast members cleverly comedic songs and a quartet of sly laughs by the talented cast. There are some have voices and timing that are performances by its cast. tender moments, however, such as “A up to the challenge of this The off-Broadway show created in the Classified Ad,” in which Greg Fucci portrays tune-fest. Kelley and early 1970s as a celebration of gay life is done a man who sells his late lover’s piano. Sentkowski both possess cabaret style and alternates between being a The second act includes a suite of songs rubber faces that serve them valentine to a bygone era and a timeless take that examines the denizens of a gay bar with well in this show. They are so on the realities of gay life. humor and poignancy. The campy comedy adept with their expressions Many subjects are covered here—the is back in action though with “Up on Your that sometimes all they need is a well-timed look to push the number over the top and wring guffaws from the audience. Ducello has the look of a young Brian Dennehy and does a wonderful job with his big solo, “I Met My Love.” Ducello also created the elegant set and outrageous costumes. As the lone woman in the cast, Stefani Wells is a classy bit Peter Sentkowski, Danny Ducello, Stefani Wells, of eye candy, a comedic Greg Fucci, Dan Kelley chanteuse who knows how to work a boa and evening gown for optimum pace. And Fred Silver, who wrote In Gay effect. Wells has a lovely voice, and combines Company, mans the piano and shows his it with a willingness to let her goofy side delight with every number. show through to give her songs extra punch. In Gay Company is a wonderful show, a Director Alan Saban keeps his cast on great escape and a terrific opportunity to track and zips the show along at just the right laugh or head—or your butt—right off.

In Gay Company runs April 5 and 6 at the Religious Science Fort Lauderdale, 1550 NE 26 St., Wilton Manors. Showtimes are 8pm. Tickets are $20 and $25. To purchase tickets or for more information, call 954.566.2868 or visit www.rsiftl.com.

Q4 • www.ExpressGayNews.com • March 31, 2003

CYMK www.ExpressGayNews.com • March 31, 2003 • Q5

CYMK Heard It Through the Gayvine Queers, Quotes and Quips of Interest

Boston Reporter Spills the Beans about Gay Lauderdale Fort Lauderdale’s gay community has surfaced in the land of the “Big Dig,” as a bean town reporter spilled the beans in Boston’s mainstream press. Christopher Muther, a staff reporter for the Boston Globe, wrote a lengthy feature in a recent edition of the paper that highlighted Wilton Manors and some of greater Fort Lauderdale’s more popular gay watering holes and restaurants. “Rumblings about Fort Lauderdale have lured me away from glamorous South Beach, and the rumors appear to be accurate,” Muther writes. Muther goes on to explain why the city rates higher on the gay scale than Miami Beach. He glibly describes the Shoppes of Wilton Manors as “shocking.” “From the Gay Mart to a clothing store called Tops and Bottoms, this place is gayer than Barbra Streisand singing ‘On a Clear Day You Can See Forever.’” he opines. “This homo playland is crowned with a cleverly placed Dairy Queen just a few blocks away.” “People in Fort Lauderdale aren’t so obsessed with image and appearance,” John Gray, a former Bostonian who has relocated to Fort Lauderdale, tells Muther. “You see some of those circuit party boys at Coliseum, but the crowd at Cathode Ray and Alibi is more mixed.” A Supreme Irony Anti-gay Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia banned broadcast media from an appearance March 26, where he received an award for supporting free speech, the Associated Press reports. The City Club usually tapes speakers for later broadcast on public television, but Scalia insisted on banning television and radio coverage, the club said. Scalia received the organization’s Citadel of Free Speech Award. The ban on broadcast media “begs disbelief and seems to be in conflict with the award itself,” C-SPAN Vice President and Executive Producer Terry Murphy wrote in a letter last week to the City Club. “How free Justice Antonin Scalia is speech if there are limits to its distribution?” Others may find the club’s choice unbelievable for different reasons. Scalia was one of only two Supreme Court justices who voted in favor of Colorado’s Amendment 2, an anti-gay measure that prohibited voters and local governments from passing gay rights ordinances anywhere in the state, which many people believe effectively silenced the political speech of every gay citizen in Colorado. In a 7-2 vote, the High Court declared the law unconstitutional, but Scalia wrote a scathing dissent. Nevertheless, the City Club selected Scalia because he has “consistently, across the board, had opinions or led the charge in support of free speech,” said James Foster, the club’s executive director. Madonna Gets Swept Away by Razzies Madonna and her hubby, director Guy Ritchie, were the big winners at the 23rd annual Razzie awards, which honor the worst achievements in film. At the awards, which were handed out Oscar eve, Madonna’s epic—and epically panned movie—Swept Away cleaned up at the Razzies, taking the awards for Worst Film, Worst Remake, Worst Actress, Worst Director and Worst Screen Couple, Madonna and costar Adriano Giannini. Madonna is no stranger to winning Razzies. With nine awards, she is now tied with Sylvester Stallone as the top all-time Madonna and Guy Ritchie Razzie winner. New Sitcom Planned on ‘Gay BC’ Chicago executive producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron have their creative hands everywhere these days, perhaps hoping to give another project their special Midas touch. In addition to securing the rights to remaking gangster musical Guys and Dolls, Zadan and Meron are now said to be writing the pilot for a new gay sitcom on ABC. The sitcom apparently will feature out actor John Benjamin Hickey playing a gay parent. That bit of casting is unique, because producers usually get straight actors (or closeted ones) to portray gay characters on TV shows. Rosie: The Artist Rosie O’Donnell has gone from standup comic to actress to talk show host to author to activist to magazine editor and now to artist. (C’mon, Rosie, leave some jobs for the rest of us.) The jill-of-all-trades began making collages after Sept. 11 and now has them on display at her favorite Piedmont, New York eatery. One personal collage shows Rosie’s head cut open and headlines pouring in. The collages will be auctioned off to benefit various charities.

Q6 • www.ExpressGayNews.com • March 31, 2003

CYMK www.ExpressGayNews.com • March 31, 2003 • Q7

CYMK Q_THEATERpreview Q_THEATERreview Queer Mates at ArtServe Cast Delights in A New Brain Live Sitcom Begins April 4 Musical Opens at Mosaic Theatre to get. Luckner Bruno makes every song he Kendall has partnered with various local By Mary Damiano By Mary Damiano sings a showstopper, and Nicole Savitt is Arts & Entertainment Editor organizations, including the Tuesday’s Arts & Entertainment Editor A New Brain, the new musical which gutsy and wise as a homeless woman who Robby Kendall is cutting down on the Angels, Gay and Lesbian Community Center just opened at the Mosaic Theatre in acts as the show’s conscience. camp and going for more straightforward of South Florida (GLCC) and the Gay Men’s Plantation, is a bouncy and insightful romp This is the Mosaic’s first musical, and comedy with his new show, Queer Mates, Chorus of South Florida. Performances of through life and near-death. unfortunately, technical problems mar the which runs for 12 performances from Friday, Queer Mates will be promoted by one of the The musical is a semi-autobiographical show. The piano, which is meant to April 4, to Saturday, May 10, at ArtServe. organizations, and a certain amount of the account of gay composer William Finn. A accompany the performers, is way too loud Kendall, the force behind the live soap proceeds will benefit the group. “It shows New Brain follows Gordon Schwinn, a and often drowns out the cast, especially opera Victoria Place, says Queer Mates is support for the organization, and they in turn frustrated composer, who gets his own fatal the actors with more delicate voices. more of a live sitcom than a soap, revolving support us,” Kendall says. “This way, they diagnosis and undergoes brain surgery. Another problem is the staging. At first, around the lives of two gay roommates. “It’s can see a show and get something back for A New Brain explores Gordon’s need to director Richard Jay Simon’s theater in the like The Golden Girls, but two roommates,” their group.” create and his fear that he will lose his talent round seems daring and innovative, but as Kendall says. “One of them is more straight Each episode of Queer Mates will run if he lives through the operation. There’s a the play goes on, it proves problematic, and narrow, and the other is more flamboyant 60-75 minutes. Kendall aspires to write for stunning moment when Gordon must make a undermining the cast’s performances. With and dramatic.” The first episode is called “My television one day and tries to keep his decision about how he will spend the night the audience on every side, an actor’s back Mother Doesn’t Know.” stories within a TV time frame. His plan is to before the operation, which he believes will is always turned toward at least 25 percent While Victoria Place utilized soapy produce new episodes of Victoria Place and be his last night alive. of the audience, as it was Friday night, when cliffhanger endings to each episode, Queer Queer Mates and to rotate their runs at The cast is terrific, but it’s difficult to the house was packed. Too often, dramatic Mates will have a conclusion. “There is a ArtServe. point to any songs specifically because the moments are lost because a good chunk of solid resolution in Queer Mates, but with a One of the things Kendall is interested program does not include list of songs and the audience doesn’t get to see a character’s little piece at the end to show that there might in doing with Queer Mates is attracting the cast members who performed them. expression or reaction. It ultimately ends up be something else,” Kendall says. “There younger people to the theater. While he Wayne LeGette plays Gordon and his creating distance between the characters and aren’t so many subplots.” appreciates his older audience for Victoria booming voice and formidable stage the audience, who never have a chance to Queer Mates stars Frederik Eriksson, Place, Kendall wants to expose youth to live presence dominate the show. LeGette is make the full connection that would otherwise Nigel Revenge and Gail Choate. Unlike theater and hopes that the young characters always a treat to watch, and he is joined by a be possible. Victoria Place, Kendall will not perform in and storyline of Queer Mates will do the trick. wonderful ensemble, which includes William Despite the technical problems, A New Queer Mates, though he is directing the “We’re marketing to gay youth with this Bearder, a Michael J. Pollard lookalike, as a Brain is a show worth seeing, because of show. “I decided to look at it from another show because it’s something they can relate scary and maniacal children’s TV host and the ideas it explores and the vitality of its point of view,” he says. “It’s a definite to,” Kendall says. “We can give them some Raquel Marmor as the nurse you don’t want cast. transition. I feel more of a boss kind of thing.” experience early on with theater.” A New Brain runs through April 13 at the Mosaic Theatre, located in the American Queer Mates runs April 4 to May 10 at ArtServe in Fort Lauderdale. Tickets are Heritage Fine Arts Center, 12200 W. Broward Blvd., Bldg. 3000, Plantation. $14 in advance, $18 at the door for evening performances and $12 for the April 19 Showtimes are Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 8pm, with matinees Saturday and May 10 matinees. For more information about Queer Mates or to purchase and Sunday at 3pm. Tickets are $25, seniors $20 and students $15. To purchase tickets, call 954.525.7703 or e-mail [email protected]. tickets, call 954.57.STAGE.

Q_DININGguide

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Q8 • www.ExpressGayNews.com • March 31, 2003

CYMK Q_CULTURALevents

Through Monday, March 31: Six Feet Tuesday - Sunday, April 1 - 6: Chicago Under—Season one shows play every day from City Limits—Chicago City Limits has been noon – 2pm and 5 – 7pm at Pride Factory, 845 performing its unique style of comedy and North Federal Hwy. 954.463.6600. Free. improvisational theater for two decades. The result Monday, March 31: Love Valor is an evening of hilarious, sidesplitting humor and Compassion—Movie screening, 8:30 – 10pm at no two performances are ever alike. $27. Broward Pride Factory, 845 North Federal Hwy. Center, 201 Southwest 5th Ave. 954.462.0222. 954.463.6600. Free. Friday & Sunday, April 4 & 5: In Gay Wednesday, April 2: Relay Dating—50 Company—This lively and witty musical revue Dates in One Night! In one evening, you’ll get the about gay life is for Everyone! Music and lyrics by opportunity to meet a variety of men in brief, Fred Silver. Directed by Alan Saban. 8pm at Religious individual, one-on-one conversations. 7:30(Sharp!) Science, 1550 NE 26th St., Ft. Lauderdale. - 10:30pm at the Raleigh Hotel, 1775 Collins Ave. 954.566.2868. RSVP is a must, as space is limited! $20. Friday & Sunday, April 4 & 5: Queer Mates: [email protected]. My Mother Doesn’t Know—Stephen Catts’s mother Saturday, April 5: Pride Factory Grand is coming to visit. His flamboyant roommate Reopening Celebration—845 North Federal believes every gay son should be “out” to his mother Hwy. Call for times and information: 954.463.6600. and doesn’t want to leave for the weekend. Saturday, April 5: HispanicFest—Latin Stephen’s mother arrives earlier than expected and food, folkloric dance and music, featuring Oro Solido, the comedy begins. To order tickets at the discount Brenda K. Starr, Anthony Cruz and more. $5. Noon rate of $11, contact 954.525.7703 or – 9pm at Young Circle Park. 954.964.8884. [email protected] and say you are with Lavender Saturday & Sunday, April 5 & 6: Rose Writes. Performances are at ArtServe, 1350 E. Show—The Greater Palm Beach Rose Society’s Sunrise Blvd. 33rd annual show is from 1 – 5pm Sat. and noon – Friday - Sunday, April 4 - 6: Judy & ME! 4pm Sun. at Hutcheson Agricultural Center, 559 N. —The ultimate Judy Garland Tribute Show is Military Trail, West Palm Beach. 561.495.7553. coming to Miami. Professional singer and dancer Sunday, April 27: Ninth Annual WIN Rhonda Woods represents Judy at her best in Charity Golf Tournament—Trophies, raffles, singing, dancing, joking and interacting with prizes, auction and a Catered Buffet. Proceeds to audiences and performs over a dozen Judy Benefit Kids in Distress & WIN. 7:30am Registration Garland hits. The production is designed to be and 8am shotgun start at Carolina Club, 3011 N. an intimate glimpse of Judy in concert. At the Rock Island Rd., Margate. $65/WIN members, $75/ New Theatre’s Burstein Family Foundation Stage. non members and $25/buffet only. 305.992.4478, [email protected]. www.womeninnetwork.com/events.htm. Special VIP charity reception Friday evening. Saturday, May 17: 2003 Cattle Barons’ Ball—Saddle up for the Fight Against Cancer at the Music 2003 Cattle Barons’ Ball in the Penthouse of the Monday, March 31: Symphony new Bank of America Building at Las Olas City Orchestra—Featuring pianist André Watts. 8pm Centre. Featuring rootin’ tootin’ gourmet western at the Broward Center, 201 S.W. Fifth Ave. fare, high-end live and hush auctions, Texas two 954.462.0222. steppin’, games and many surprises. Dress up or Tuesday, April 1: Music over the Centuries— down. For information, tickets or reserved tables, The Florida Philharmonic Orchestra with Aaron call Jacqueline Harrington at 954.564.0880 ext. Rosand, violin. This concert features music from 123. three centuries. $20 - $92. Broward Center, 201 Sundays: SpiritQUEST SpiritQUEST—at Southwest Fifth Ave. 954.462.0222. 11:40am at Sunshine Cathedral, 1480 S.W. 9th Ave., Thursday, April 3: Paul Anka—$25.75 - Fort Lauderdale. SpiritQUEST is where one can find $49.75 at the Broward Center, 201 Southwest Fifth meaning for life and purpose for living. Join us as Ave. 954.462.0222. we all discover the journey to faith and hope in our Friday, April 4: Al Greene—8pm at the lives. American Sign Language will be provided for Broward Center, 201 S.W. Fifth Ave. 954.462.0222. the hearing impaired. For information or directions, please visit www.SunshineCathedral.org or call 954.462.2004. Art Exhibitions Through Monday, March 31: Feminine Live Theatre and Dance Rising—Women’s History Month 2003 Multinational Art Exhibition will be on display in Through Sunday, April 6: Three Tall gallery six at the Main Library, 100 S. Andrews Women—Edward Albee’s Pultizer Prize winning Ave., Fort Lauderdale. masterpiece about growing up and growing older. Through Sunday, May 4: The Sideshow of This one will make you laugh, cry and think! Tickets the Absurd—A multimedia installation by Denver- are $20 and $10 w/student ID. Fort Lauderdale based artist Pamela Joseph. Her work references Children’s Theatre, 640 Andrews Ave. the visual culture of the traveling carnival while 954.427.0784. exploring contemporary notions of femaleness and Through Sunday, April 6: I Want to Be female power. The Gallery at the Art and Culture Real—The story of a special robotic boy who is Center, 1650 Harrison St., Hollywood, sent to live with a family and learns that it’s what’s 954.921.3274. www.artandculturecenter.org. inside that makes you real. Hollywood Plalyhouse, 2640 Washington St., Hollywood. 954.922.0404. Radio Through Sunday, April 13: Hello The Norm Kent Show—Interviews and Gorgeous—A new musical by Terry Hammond. commentary with Norm Kent, weekday mornings Tuesday - Saturday, 8pm; matinees Saturday & at 8am on WFTL 1400 AM. The Call-In Line is Sunday, 2pm. Tickets are $23, and $11.50 for 1.877.644.1400. students. Delray Beach Playhouse, 950 N.W. 9th Issues Over the Rainbow—MarkyG hosts St. in Delray Beach. 561.272.1281 Ext 4. this gay and lesbian early morning talk show. Sunday Through Sunday, April 20: Barefoot in the mornings at 7:25am on PARTY 93.1 FM. Park—Neil Simon’s hilarious play is at Stage Door www.Party931.com. Theatre, 8036 W. Sample Rd., Coral Springs. 954.344.7765. Through Sunday, May 25: The Foreigner— Television This Off-Broadway comedy is at the Stage Door’s SoFla Q TV—Television for the alternative 26th St. Theatre, 1444 N.E. 26th St. in Wilton lifestyle. For information call 305.534.3975 or visit Manors. 954.344.7765. www.soflaqtv.com.

www.ExpressGayNews.com • March 31, 2003 • Q9

CYMK Need_Wood By Woody Miller Stumped About Always being Dumped? By Charlene Lichtenstein For the week of 3/31/03 Got a rocket in your pocket? Get ready to launch into Outer space when fuel Shy Guy Should Become a ‘Chaser’— injected Jupiter redirects and sends out vibes in all directions. Will things come too easily? Will we become a bunch of lazy self-absorbed divas? We can or Buy ‘Dump Insurance’ only hope so!

Hey, Woody! guys the same thing. If you want a ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL 20) I loved your riff with that woman who wrote worthwhile mate, you’re going to have to Good times just got better. Eat, drink and be merry gay Ram. Have you been feeling like a hairy caterpillar holed up in a bind? Emerge from your cocoon Stop Getting Dumped. But don’t you think get over your shyness. You have two and put the bees and wanabees to shame. You are beautiful even with those some of her rules won’t work with gay men? choices: You either live with the puce mini-shorts. I’ve been kind-of-but-not-really seeing this uncertainty about how the other guy feels 25-year-old guy. I really like him, but he’s about you or you live with the knowledge TAURUS (APRIL 21 - MAY 21) sending me mixed signals. Every time I run into of it. Your choice. Queer Bulls are ready to take risks to insure that they are exactly where they want to be at this point in their life. If that means having a wilde him he redlines the flirt meter, holding my gaze, Woody: I agree. He needs to flat-out tete a tete with a certain relative, so be it. Direct Jupiter sez no holds grazing my hands, etc. I call to ask him out, and ask the guy if he’s interested in dating him. barred so go for the full nelson. it takes him four days to call me back. I can’t Lisa: Right. Because the worst that tell if he’s playing me or playing hard to get. To can happen is that he’ll say no, which will GEMINI (MAY 22 - JUNE 21) Ask and you shall receive pink Twin. But don’t waste this lucky blast with a tell you the truth, I don’t know if I have it in me free him to pursue other guys. load of hot air. Shallow charm is your trump suit but finesse with your to “chase” him to find out. The fear of rejection Woody: By the way, Lisa, I tried your hearts rather than your clubs. Don’t lay down your hand before you go for overwhelms me. According to that author, I “door test”—the one about opening the the rubber. Now that’s the trick! should keep chasing the guy. What do you car door for your date and seeing if he think? leans over and unlocks your side of the CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY 23) Generous Jupiter places a direct deposit in your finances. Prepare for your —Too Shy door. largess by doing your fiscal homework and investing according to your Lisa: What happened? Did he jam means. Jupiter brings you your just rewards and that should be just fine with Dear Shy: the lock shut and drive off without you? you, gay Crab! I e-mailed my favorite dating advice chick, Woody: Ha, ha. No, you said if your LEO (JULY 24 - AUGUST 23) Lisa Daily (the author of Stop Getting Dumped: date doesn’t lean over and unlock your Proud Lions are charisma incarnate as your natural theatrical flair is All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall door the relationship will not last long. Well, spotlighted. Jupiter expands everything so be sure that your physical Madly in Love with You). Here’s the transcript: I went out with a guy I really liked. I opened presence does not overshadow your other endowments. Skip the third Woody: He’s got a point Lisa. What if his door and damn if he didn’t just sit there. dessert, unless its just the cherry. you’re too shy to be a chaser? Three dates later he told me he just wanted VIRGO (AUGUST 24 - SEPTEMBER 23) Lisa: Then be a “chasee.” to be friends. I was crushed. Are you too mellow to swello? Industrious queer Virgos are content to while Woody: But what if you’re bigger and older Lisa: It’s true. If they don’t unlock away the time on daydreams. Give yourself a break and enjoy the rift. But than the other guy, automatically defaulting you the door, they’re subconsciously saying know when to collect your thoughts and get back into gear. You cannot into “chaser” status? Besides, how do you you’re not worth the effort. How’d you coast in neutral for too long. expect a shy guy to be the chaser? handle it? LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 24 - OCTOBER 23) Lisa: I’m curious, what’s your advice? Woody: Oh, I’m fine. He’s in intensive Proud Libras expand their social circle when Jupiter redirects. You can join Woody: Me? I’d offer the letter-writer care, though. Freak accident. I was just the most exclusive (read: snotty) groups. Is that what you want? If so, just Dump Insurance. driving along and he threw himself into be sure that you don’t have to dance to someone elses music. Jupiter is too easygoing and so are you. Lisa: Huh? my car eight or nine times. Woody: That’s when he pays me 10 bucks, Lisa: Woody, when I said you should SCORPIO (OCTOBER 24 - NOVEMBER 22) and then, after he gets dumped—I pretend I’m run people down I meant it as a figure of If you ache to conquer the corporate world, direct Jupiter becomes your interested in his loser sob story. speech. trojan horse. Climb inside this lucky energy and sneak into the executive Lisa: You have got to be kidding me… Woody: Oh. sanctum. Take no prisoners, gay Scorp, unless they are gorgeous. Woody: Well, I don’t do it too often on Lisa: Hopefully your readers aren’t account of the last guy got so mad he tried to as literal. If they want more tips they can SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 23 - DECEMBER 22) stab me. go to www.StopGettingDumped.com. Queer Archers are encouraged to expand their horizons when their ruling Lisa: Woody, that’s awful. Woody: uh, Lisa? planet Jupiter redirects. Scratch your itchy travelling feet. For those who are under a tight budget, use this time to spider into the far reaches of Woody: I know. You try to make a few Lisa: Yes, woody. cyberspace. Cast your web anyway you can. honest dollars off somebody’s pain and look Woody: Does your website have any how they treat you. tips on getting date blood off your car? CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 20) Lisa: No, I mean you, you’re awful. Lisa: (Disconnected) Jupiter guarantees that you carry all the sparks of an overloaded outlet so Woody: Thanks. Now back to the Woody: Lisa? Lisa? start a fire, pink Cap. Soon, Jupiter will move on and you will have to satisfy yourself with steamy memories to keep you aglow at night. Sigh! question. Pack a nightlight. Lisa: He needs to get over himself. Woody: Now you’re being awful. Need Wood? Ask woody how to AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21 - FEBRUARY 19) Lisa: No, I really mean it. I tell shy straight Lonely Aqueerians have animal magnetism when Jupiter redirects. Grrr. Get spice up your sex life. E-mail him Out there and see who is right for you. And if they are not quite right, don’t at [email protected]. sweat it. Sometimes just good enough will get you by.... until the end of summer anyway. PISCES (FEBRUARY 20 - MARCH 20) Guppies are released from their day to day drudgery. Keep the champagne flowing while the dishes pile up, cousin. Next morning you may even be able to enlist an able young thing to pitch in and scrub a dub with you. Try not to slip on the soap.....

© 2003 MADAM LICHTENSTEIN, LLC., All Rights Reserved.For Entertainment Purposes Only. Check out her site www.AccessNewAge.com/Stargayzer for egreetings, horoscopes and Pride jewelry. Her book “HerScopes; A Guide To Astrology For Lesbians” from Simon & Schuster is available at bookstores and major booksites.

Q10 • www.ExpressGayNews.com • March 31, 2003

CYMK Pumping It Up with Maximum_Volume New Album Releases The Clash: ‘The Essential Clash’ ‘The Essential George Gershwin’ (Sony) (Sony Classical/Legacy) Coinciding with their introduction to The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame comes this George Gershwin was only 38 years 40-track double CD collection. The Clash: The Essential Clash contains all the well- old when he died, but what a legacy of known hits of the groundbreaking punk band, which first rose to prominence during music he packed into those 38 years. the late 1970s alongside their more sensational counterparts, The Sex Pistols. The “Rhapsody in Blue,” “I Got Clash, however, have arguably left more classic tunes for which they will be Rhythym,” “They Can’t Take that Away remembered. And these rock chestnuts, as well as lesser-known tracks, are included in from Me,” “Someone to Watch Over Me,” this extensive collection. “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off”—many Songs featured are “London Calling,” the ominous title track of their first breakout musicians who live twice as long don’t U.S. album. Gay listeners otherwise unfamiliar with the legendary punk band will have as many classics to their credit. recognize their staple hit “Train in Vain (Stand by Me)” through Annie Lennox’s cover The Essential George Gershwin is a of it on her album Medusa from years back. And all television viewers old enough to remember MTV’s early years will sumptuous CD, featuring some of the greatest musicians and singers remember the group’s colorful video “Rock The Casbah.” Another classic hit worthy of mention is “Should I Stay or America has ever produced performing songs by one of the greatest Should I Go Now.” composers America has ever produced. To those of us who remember the term punk as being so fresh, young and rebellious, it seems odd to think of a The double CD opens with a Gershwin performance of “Prelude punk band in terms of being classic. With the sad passing of lead singer Joe Strummer at age 50, The Clash is now an No. 2 for Piano,” then takes the listener on a journey through some of act of the past, but one whose sound is timeless and fresh and deserves to be remembered through this CD. Gershwin’s best known songs. Billie Holliday winds her way through a —Andy Zeffer sultry and smoky “Summertime.” Fred Astaire exudes his trademark breezy elegance on “They Can’t Take That Away from Me.” Benny Lisa Stansfield: ‘Biography’ Goodman performs a bouncy “Liza.” The crooning that turned Frank Sinatra into a superstar is showcased on “Someone To Watch Over Me.” (Arista/BMG Heritage) But that’s just the beginning. Dinah Shore, Jane Russell, Gene Kelly, Lisa Stansfield is a superstar in her native England, but this soulful dance siren Al Jolson, Ethel Waters, Doris Day and Rosemary Clooney are among never quite caught on here in the United States. Biography, Stansfield’s new greatest the performers featured, and that’s just disc one. hits collection, is a great way for American listeners to see what they’ve been missing. Disc two features Tony Bennett with a gorgeous version of “Who Stansfield’s biggest hit was “All Around the World,” an infectious dance tune Cares?” and an upbeat recording of “They All Laughed.” from 1990. The song had a fresh sound and catapulted Stansfield to international The centerpiece of the second disc is a suite of selections from stardom. Her smooth, powerful voice, underscored with danceable rhythms and soul Gershwin’s masterpiece, Porgy and Bess, his attempt to turn American sensibility, are showcased in each of the 17 songs on this CD. opera into its own original art form. Aretha Franklin delivers a soulful and One of the things that made “All Around the World” such a huge hit was the infectious rendition of “It Ain’t Necessarily So.” Robert McFerrin and unique sound of Stansfield’s hypnotic voice speaking the opening lines, a device that Adele Addison (Bobby McFerrin’s parents) combine their voices for a works well on several tracks, including “Live Together.” soaring and stirring duet of “Bess, You Is My Woman Now.” Biography opens with “Change,” which was a States-side hit for Stansfield. “In The crown jewel in this musical gold mine is a Gershwin performance All the Right Places” is a heartfelt ballad, perfect for slow dancing. “Time to Make You Mine” is a breathy take on of “Rhapsody in Blue,” melded with additional orchestration by conductor consummating a relationship. Michael Tilson Thomas. “Rhapsody in Blue” embodies the spirit of In “Never Never Gonna Give You Up,” Stansfield covers one of her idols, Barry White, the king of seduction America like no other composition, segueing smoothly from wonder to songs. Stansfield exudes the depth and soulful sex of the original—not bad for a skinny British white girl. awe to melancholy to exuberance. There is also a live version of Stansfield and George Michael doing a touching rendition of the Queen song, The Essential George Gershwin is a must-have for any serious music “These are the Days of Our Lives.” And Stansfield shows her versatility on the big band, jazz-infused “Down in the collection, and underscores the genius of a great man and his contribution Reado Depths.” to American music. Biography is a fabulous find for fans, but also a great way to become enchanted with Stansfield’s amazing talent. —Mary Damiano —Mary Damiano

www.ExpressGayNews.com • March 31, 2003 • Q11

CYMK Q12 • www.ExpressGayNews.com • March 31, 2003

CYMK