HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
"The Waiting Game"
written by
Luken Tonjes
SINCERELYLUKEN.COM TEASER
INT. TED’S LIVING ROOM. AFTERNOON. -YEAR 2030
TED’s future kids sit on the couch listening to their father.
TED (V.O) Kids, before I met your mother, I went on a lot of first dates. I mean, a lot of first dates.
EXT. STREET. NEW YORK CITY. EVENING. -PRESENT
TED and JOANNA leave the restaurant they were just at. TED is dressed up with a collard shirt, slim tie in a half Windsor, and a blue sports coat with matching pants.
JOANNA is wearing a royal blue blouse with black slacks and white shoes.
TED You know, I don’t do this a whole lot.
TED takes off his coat and gives it to her.
TED (CONT'D) (V.O) But I have never had a date quite like my date with Joanna.
JOANNA I don’t either, but I had a great time.
TED I still can’t believe you just moved here from Cleveland!
JOANNA I can’t believe LeBron did that to us!
TED Tell me about it! (pause) Can I call you a cab?
JOANNA No, you don’t have to. "The Waiting Game" 2.
TED Please, let me just-
TED starts waving for a cab.
JOANNA I live only three blocks from here
TED Oh, okay.
TED is sad that this is where they part ways.
JOANNA But I would love it if you could walk me home.
TED stand there for a moment and smiles.
TED I think, I’m actually pretty busy right now.
JOANNA smiles and goes to take his hand and he grabs it, but as soon as he does. He gets a call.
TED (CONT'D) I’m so sorry, I’ll turn it off.
JOANNA Take it.
TED It’s just my friends calling to see how the date went.
JOANNA Take it so I can know how it went too.
TED gives her a smirk and answers the phone
THE SCREEN SPLITS
On the left, TED is in the street in front of the restaurant.
On the right, MARSHALL and LILY are in bed.
TED MARSHALL Hey. Hey, man. How’s the date.
TED (CONT'D) It’s actually going really well. "The Waiting Game" 3.
TED looks at JOANNA sincerely and smiles. She smiles back
LILY Are you going to get lucky?
TED I don’t know. We’ll see.
MARSHALL LILY I said Bang, bang, bangitty I said Bang, bang, bangitty bang, i said a bang bang- bang, i said a bang bang- TED hangs up the phone. MARSHALL and LILY keep singing until the screen un-splits.
THE SCREEN UNSPLITS.
JOANNA So?
TED They were asking me for my chicken pot pie recipe.
TED takes JOANNA’s hand and begins walking.
END OF TEASER "The Waiting Game" 4.
ACT I
EXT. STREET. NEW YORK CITY. EVENING.
JOANNA and TED keep walking toward her apartment. TED is on the left toward the street.
TED Marshall and Lily have been together since college. They met one day and they just knew.
JOANNA That’s exactly how my parents were. They met at space camp when they were fourteen.
TED I loved space camp! (beat) (playing it cool) I mean... (beat) Who am I kidding, I loved it. I wanted to be an astronaut after I watched-
JOANNA Star Wars?
TED Yes! (beat) Okay, but which Star Wars.
JOANNA Episode one.
TED Chronologically or by title?
JOANNA Chronologically. Who do I look like to you?
TED I was just making sure.
The both laugh.
They turn the corner and the whole street is blocked off due to construction. "The Waiting Game" 5.
TED (CONT'D) Oh, no.
JOANNA I have no idea how to get home from here other than that street.
TED Yeah, this isn’t exactly my part of town either... but. Oh, no.
JOANNA What?
TED I do have a friend that lives up here.
INT. STREET. NEW YORK CITY. EVENING.- LATER
THE SCREEN IS SPLIT
On the left, TED is on the phone in front of construction.
On the right, BARNEY is at the bar with ROBIN.
TED Hey man, how do I get to East 6th from Lafayette without taking East 3rd?
BARNEY ROBIN I said a bang bang, bangitty I said a bang bang, bangitty bang, I said a bang bang bang, I said a bang bang bangitty bang. bangitty bang. TED Come on, man. I really need your help. BARNEY I’ll tell you.
TED Great!
BARNEY On one condition.
TED Nothing is every easy with you. "The Waiting Game" 6.
BARNEY Nope, I’m always hard.
BARNEY high fives ROBIN.
BARNEY (CONT'D) Ted, you need to seal the deal tonight.
ROBIN Or don’t if she doesn’t consent!
BARNEY But try your best.
ROBIN But don’t pressure her.
BARNEY But seal the deal, Ted.
ROBIN Seal the deal, Ted!
TED I’ll try my best.
BARNEY Promise?
TED Yes, what are we five? I promise. (beat) Now, how do I get there.
BARNEY Where are you now?
TED First avenue. BARNEY Go back to second. Take a right and then another right when you see the “Nasty Newsies” sign. It’s a Broadway themed strip club. You should end up in the right place.
TED Thanks, you’re a life saver.
BARNEY But you better end up in her right place, if you know what I’m saying! "The Waiting Game" 7.
TED hangs up.
THE SCREEN UNSPLITS.
TED I’m sorry about that.
JOANNA Don’t be.
TED grabs her hand again and starts walking.
JOANNA (CONT'D) Sorry by the way. I’m just so new to the city and everything has been a bit of a learning curve for me.
TED Like what? (beat) What is the thing that you miss the most about Cleveland?
JOANNA I don’t know. I would have to say the overall morality of people.
TED (Laughing) What?
JOANNA You know, how people treat each other. So many people are so self centered. Not necessarily narcissistic, but everyone seems so worried about their image here.
TED What? There’s no way that could be true.
TED starts to think about it.
CUT TO:
INT. MACLAREN'S PUB. EVENING.- FLASHBACK
TED and BARNEY are standing by the bar. "The Waiting Game" 8.
BARNEY There’s no way she could say no. I mean, look at me. I’m awesome!
CUT TO:
INT. TED’S APARTMENT. MORNING.-FLASHBACK
TED walks around the corner and sees ROBIN talking to herself in the mirror.
ROBIN (To herself) You are a good reporter. (beat) No, you are the best reporter. If you can sing “Let’s go to the Mall” for Justin Trudeau then you can report on the kid that released crickets into his school.
CUT TO:
INT. MARSHALL AND LILY'S APARTMENT. LIVING ROOM.-FLASHBACK
MARSHALL, LILY, and TED sit on their couch.
LILY That’s all you have to do to find a great girl.
MARSHALL Take it from us, the best couple on the planet.
MARSHALL and LILY high five.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET. NEW YORK CITY. EVENING.-PRESENT
TED I can see where you are coming from.
JOANNA But you’re different, you know that?
TED How so? "The Waiting Game" 9.
JOANNA You seem like yourself. The same Ted Mosby no matter what.
TED Except for when I dress up like a bat and fight crime.
JOANNA (laughing) I mean it. You seem to intrigue your friends. But you do it by being you.
JOANNA stops in front of a building and faces TED.
TED You really think so?
JOANNA You’ve definitely intrigued me.
TED Oh, really.
TED gets closer.
JOANNA Yes, really.
TED leans in to kiss her. She kisses him back. They don’t make out but they have one kiss for a couple of seconds.
TED What do you say we move this date upstairs?
JOANNA (pause) I’m sorry, Ted. I wasn’t planning on leading you on like that. But I don’t do that on the first date.
TED I totally get it.
JOANNA Actually, I don’t do that on any date.
TED What do you mean? "The Waiting Game" 10.
JOANNA I’m deeply religious. I’m waiting until marriage to have sex.
TED is completely taken back by this. Not only is she the only girl that he has ever heard say those words, he is speechless about the fact that it is a girl that he really likes.
END OF ACT I "The Waiting Game" 11.
ACT II
INT. MACLAREN'S PUB. AFTERNOON.
TED and MARSHALL are sitting down, having a drink. MARSHALL has to play therapist and TED sits there in agony wondering what is next.
MARSHALL Wow, until marriage? So what did you say?
MARSHALL is in deep thought, he has no idea how to react.
TED I told her that I would call her again.
MARSHALL Are you going to?
TED I don’t know, man. You know, I should have seen this coming. She was too perfect, I should’ve known that she would have a “But”.
MARSHALL hasn’t known how to react until now. He understands that it shouldn’t matter and wants TED to see his side.
MARSHALL A “but”!
TED That’s not what I meant.
MARSHALL Ted, a “but” is a girl that still takes bubble baths with her brother or a guy that has an addiction to ski ball.
TED Don’t you have an addiction to ski ball?
MARSHALL Yes, and I still haven’t told Lily. (beat) But this girl, this rule of hers, it isn’t a bad thing. (MORE) "The Waiting Game" 12.
MARSHALL (CONT'D) She wants to find the right guy. Don’t you want to find the right girl?
TED Of course I want to find the right girl. But this isn’t me. (beat) One time I thought I saw God, but it was just Blitz in a bath towel. (beat) We’re just too different.
MARSHALL And since when is that a bad thing? Lily hated Basketball when we met, she tolerates it now. But you know what, whenever she thinks of Basketball she thinks of Vanilla Thunder. (beat) This thing with Joanna, just because you two are different doesn’t mean that you are incompatible. It just means you are different. I mean, how was the date before she tole you that she is waiting until marriage?
TED One of the best dates I have ever been on.
MARSHALL See, then call her. Ask her on another date.
TED Marshall, we’re talking two years minimum without sex.
MARSHALL Would that be such a bad thing?
TED Yes, yes it would.
MARSHALL Yeah, that would suck. (beat) But if you really like this girl, and if you feel like you really have a chance. Do you think it will be worth it in the end? (MORE) "The Waiting Game" 13.
MARSHALL (CONT'D) And sex can make things so complicated. Most of the time when you are with a girl is not spent having sex anyway.
TED has realized that MARSHALL is right.
TED Oh, God, what am I going to tell everyone else. I really like her. Not everyone is as understanding as you.
MARSHALL Don’t you forget it.
TED I think we should wait a bit to tell them. I don’t want this to be a big deal. My sex life, or lack there of, should stay private with Joanna. That’s how she would want it.
MARSHALL (cleverly) Or, doesn’t want it. (beat) Sorry, I won’t tell.
CUT TO:
INT. MARSHALL AND LILY'S APARTMENT. LIVING ROOM.
MARSHALL goes home from talking with TED and is greeted by ROBIN and LILY sitting on the couch.
ROBIN What up, fudge!
LILY Hi, honey!
MARSHALL Hi, hun.
MARSHALL walks up to LILY and gives her a kiss. MARSHALL walks to the kitchen.
LILY So did Ted tell you all the “detes” about his date last night? "The Waiting Game" 14.
MARSHALL stops in his tracks.
ROBIN Yeah, did he bang, bang, bangity bang?
MARSHALL (angry) You know, that’s Ted’s private life!
ROBIN Since when are you all defensive of Ted?
MARSHALL Since forever.
LILY Marshall, when Ted buys new underwear, you tell me.
MARSHALL He buys boxers, briefs, and boxer briefs. Tell me you’re not fascinated.
LILY So what happened on his date?
FREEZE FRAME ON MARSHALL
TED (V.O) And kids, your Uncle Marshall is usually terrified of lying to your Aunt Lily. But oddly enough, and Uncle Marshall will never admit this, he loved the “50 Shades of Grey” series
MARSHALL (V.O) In my defense, I thought it was a book on painting.
TED (V.O) Then why did you keep reading. "The Waiting Game" 15.
MARSHALL (V.O) (beat) Just tell them what I did next?
UNFREEZE MARSHALL
MARSHALL sits down in the middle of LILY and ROBIN.
Inaudibly, MARSHALL describes what happened in “50 Shades of Grey”. He is giving hand gestures and deep descriptions. LILY and ROBIN are fascinated and asking questions. They are shocked my MARSHALL’s responses.
TED (V.O) See, Marshall has been trying to get Lily get into “50 Shades of Grey” for a long time, and he took this as a chance. And to this day, the three of them will not tell anyone what Marshall described. But let’s just say that Lily and Robin thought that I had gone on the best date in the history of dates.
MARSHALL (audibly) So, that’s how his date went.
ROBIN He told you all of this?
MARSHALL We’re really close.
LILY Robin, leave.
LILY looks at MARSHALL seductively.
ROBIN gets up and leaves quickly.
CUT TO:
INT. MACLAREN'S PUB. EVENING.
The whole gang minus BARNEY is sitting at their usual booth.
BARNEY walks up from the front door. It is raining. He shakes off his closed umbrella. "The Waiting Game" 16.
BARNEY (To TED) Dude! How was your date?
TED Really good. She’s actually meeting me here in a little bit.
BARNEY Oh, going back around for seconds, tell me more.
LILY Knock it off, Barney.
BARNEY What? I want to know how Ted connected with this girl. (beat) Was it from the back or the front? We got to know.
MARSHALL Come on man, she’s a sweet girl. Let’s just-
TED Guys, it’s fine. Yes, we had a really great night. We had so much in common.
BARNEY And?
TED She makes me laugh.
BARNEY And?
TED I don’t know, she really makes me think. Challenges me a little bit.
BARNEY Dude, did you bang her?
Just then JOANNA walks in smiling. She doesn’t hear anything TED is saying until he is towards the middle.
TED (angry) You know what? Yes, I did bang her. We did it. We did the dirty. (MORE) "The Waiting Game" 17.
TED (CONT'D) From the back, from the front. All night long. She had crazy knockers and was completely satisfied. Is that what you wanted to hear?
MARSHALL Ted?
TED (furious) What?
MARSHALL points behind him. JOANNA is standing there with tears in her eyes. Before a tear can get out she walks away quickly.
TED (CONT'D) (defeated) Damn it.
TED chases after her.
EXT. MACLAREN'S PUB. EVENING.
It is raining mildly and JOANNA is waiting on the street trying to get a taxi.
TED runs up from the pub.
TED Joanna! Please, just listen to me.
JOANNA turns around in anger, with tears streaming down her face.
JOANNA And say what? That you were just kidding? That they can’t know about what I believ? (beat) You’re embarrassed of me, Ted. And for what? To impress your friends?
TED No, it’s not like that.
JOANNA Then what is it like, Ted? Tell me.
TED is speechless. He realizes that deep down that he was embarrassed. Not of her, but of the situation.
A taxi pulls up in front of her. "The Waiting Game" 18.
JOANNA (CONT'D) I thought you were different, Ted. But I was wrong, you are just as self centered as the rest of them. I’m sorry I didn’t meet the standard.
JOANNA gets into the taxi and takes off.
TED stands there for a moment absorbing what just happened. Still looking at the street.
BARNEY comes up from Maclaren’s with his umbrella.
BARNEY Hey, man, don’t sweat it. There are some hotties at the bar that are up for grabs.
BARNEY turns to go back into the bar, thinking TED will follow him.
TED does not move.
TED She was waiting!
BARNEY (confused) What?
TED She’s waiting until marriage to have sex.
BARNEY stands there in shock. Not only shock that this girl is someone that he has never met, but that TED lied to him.
TED (CONT'D) I didn’t have sex with her last night. Now I don’t know if I ever will.
BARNEY walks up to TED and puts him under his umbrella. BARNEY puts his arm around him.
BARNEY Ted, let’s get you that girl.
BARNEY and TED walk down the street away from Maclaren’s.
END OF ACT II "The Waiting Game" 19.
ACT III
INT. MARSHALL AND LILY'S APARTMENT. BEDROOM. EVENING.
MARSHALL is sitting up in bed reading a book about trains. LILY gets in bed with him. They are both wearing pajamas.
LILY I don’t understand. Why is Barney helping Ted get this girl? Isn’t waiting until marriage against everything he believes in? (beat) Oh, my God. Is Barney the anti- Christ?
MARSHALL I wouldn’t doubt it. (beat) But Lily for me to explain to you why Barney is helping Ted. I need to get something off my chest.
LILY What is it, honey?
MARSHALL This isn’t Martin Short’s biography about trains.
LILY is confused.
Marshal takes off the book cover to reveal The Bro Code,
LILY gasps.
LILY I don’t even know you anymore.
MARSHALL I’m a lawyer, Lily. And since we have known Barney he uses this as a legal reference. I had to read it, and it’s quite interesting. Like Chapter 4, Article Seventeen: A bro will always request his bro’s birthday off from work. (beat) It makes me want to be a better bro! "The Waiting Game" 20.
LILY What does it say about Ted and Barney’s situation?
MARSHALL I believe he is instating the 7th. It states that:-
CUT TO:
INT. BARNEY’S APARTMENT. EVENING.
BARNEY has a blackboard up and is standing in front of it. TED is on his couch. BARNEY is standing in front of his blackboard facing away from the kitchen towards TED.
BARNEY is picking up where MARSHALL left off.
BARNEY -If bro no.1 likes a girl, especially if she is hot, his bro, bro no.2, will stop at nothing to have bro no.1 win her over. (beat) This of course does not includes felonies with more than a five year sentence. While misdemeanors are strongly suggested.
TED So that’s why you’re helping me?
BARNEY I may be suave nomad, that chooses to share his life with many women-
TED That’s what we’re calling it now?
BARNEY But I’m a bro first! And I want to help you, Ted. (beat) Now, I have concocted a brand new play. I call it...
BARNEY flips his blackboard to reveal an intricate play. At the top it reads, “The Waiting Game”
BARNEY (CONT'D) The Waiting Game!
TED looks at him slightly annoyed. "The Waiting Game" 21.
BARNEY (CONT'D) I have to have a little bit of fun.
CUT TO:
INT. MONTAGE. BARNEY’S APARTMENT. EVENING.
Music is playing so it is inaudible.
TED (V.O.) That night, your Uncle Barney taught me an intricate play.
TED is sitting on the couch. BARNEY is pointing to the board and explaining. He gestures to TED that he should take notes. TED picks up a pen and notebook that are placed on the coffee table.
CUT TO:
INT. MONTAGE. BARNEY'S APARTMENT. NIGHT
TED (V.O.) One that had never been done before.
TED is now drinking a cup of coffee. He sets it on the coffee table while BARNEY explains something. TED starts to drift off. BARNEY snaps him awake.
CUT TO:
INT. MONTAGE. BARNEY'S APARTMENT. NIGHT.- LATER.
BARNEY hands TED a packet of questions, he has a test. TED doesn’t want to do it but BARNEY is persistent that he does. So TED takes the paper and starts answering questions.
CUT TO:
INT. BARNEY'S APARTMENT. DAWN.
BARNEY and TED are sitting on BARNEY’s couch exhausted.
BARNEY Do you got it? "The Waiting Game" 22.
TED I think I got it.
BARNEY Good. Because church starts in 4 hours.
TED groans and puts his head into a pillow on BARNEY’s crouch and groans some more. Then he suddenly falls asleep.
BARNEY (CONT'D) Goodnight, my little Bro-dawan.
BARNEY stands up and goes to bed.
CUT TO:
EXT. CHURCH BUILDING. MORNING.
TED is dressed up in a suit. He figures that it is a “Sunday’s best” shirt. But he sees people walk in wearing hoodies, cardigans, t-shirts, etc. He feels really out of place.
TED calls BARNEY on the phone.
THE SCREEN SPLITS.
On the left, is TED at the front of the church.
On the right, is BARNEY inside. BARNEY is dressed up like clergyman. He has the black suit on with the white clerical collar.
TED Ditch the outfit!
BARNEY What? TED sees JOANNA coming.
TED I said ditch the outfit. More contemporary-
JOANNA gets close to him.
TED (CONT'D) Music is what I like to listen to. So put it on the mixtape. Got to go, bye "The Waiting Game" 23.
BARNEY is confused.
TED hangs up
THE SCREEN UNSPLITS.
JOANNA Ted?
TED Joanna! Hi! (beat) What are you doing here?
JOANNA What else would I be doing here? (beat) The question is, what are you doing here?
TED Praising God!
JOANNA Really?
TED nods.
JOANNA (CONT'D) What’s this church called?
TED New York... Church... of... Christ.
JOANNA (pause) Lucky guess. But I know why you’re really here.
TED Please just hear me out. What I did was so stupid, and-
Just then the church bell rings loudly.
JOANNA You want me to hear you out? Sit through the sermon, then we’ll talk.
TED Deal. "The Waiting Game" 24.
TED and JOANNA walk side by side into the church.
Just then, ROBIN dressed as a nun walks towards the door eagerly. TED waves her away. She is bummed and walks away.
TED and JOANNA walk inside.
When the door closes. MARSHALL and LILY run in really fast. They are wearing decently nice clothes, a little more contemporary.
CUT TO:
INT. CHURCH BUILDING. MORNING.
JOANNA find her seat and is greeted by people that she sits next to. They are not close friends but they know each other.
MARSHALL and LILY take a seat in the back. ROBIN walks in after, she is still dressed as a nun. She gets some weird looks.
TED sits down next to JOANNA eagerly.
The PASTOR walks on stage. He is a young man that is dressed contemporary like everyone else.
PASTOR Hey everyone! Today I would like to introduce a very special guest, all the way from Sweden, pastor Bornei Stinsonberg!
Everyone remains seated and claps.
BARNEY walks on stage in all black. He has taken off his coat and has his sleeved rolled up. But has left the clerical collar on, he takes it off as he is walking on stage. He stands at the podium.
BARNEY (Swedish accent) Today I would like to talk about a simple topic. Forgiveness. And to forgive is not to forget, but to replenish. Everyone turn your bibles to Proverbs 7-
Inaudibly BARNEY gives a sermon on the stage. Everyone seems really into it. "The Waiting Game" 25.
TED (V.O) And if that wasn’t the best sermon I had ever heard. (beat) Your Uncle Barney really came through that day.
INT. CHURCH BUILDING. MORNING. -LATER
LILY and ROBIN seem really into it. MARSHALL is crying.
BARNEY puts his head down to pray. So does everyone else.
TED looks at JOANNA to see if she is buying it. She has her head down praying like everyone else.
TED (V.O) And kids, everyone in that church believed that your Uncle Barney was the real deal.
CUT TO:
EXT. CHURCH BUILDING. MORNING.
TED and JOANNA are walking out of the church side by side.
JOANNA If that wasn’t the fakest pastor I had ever seen.
JOANNA turns to TED.
TED looks guilty.
TED Damn it, there are 14 more parts of the play!
JOANNA What?
TED Nothing.
JOANNA Don’t tell me that was you!
JOANNA pulls him aside from the doors, out of the crowd. "The Waiting Game" 26.
TED You know what, it was. I have no idea how to get you back, but this was the best possible way that I could try. To have someone else tell you that you should forgive me.
JOANNA Ted, I like you. But why would I be with someone who is ashamed of my beliefs.
TED I’m not. It’s just that my friends are-
JOANNA Why were you trying to impress them?
Just then MARSHALL, LILY, ROBIN, and BARNEY walk out of the church and behind TED. They hide behind the door to eavesdrop.
TED Because I haven’t had a relationship like this. Or even a person like you in a long time. I wanted them to think that I had it all together. And I always thought that having it together meant sleeping with someone. But now I know that it doesn’t mean that. I like you and if waiting until marriage means a lot to you, it means a lot to me.
JOANNA Ted, I-
ROBIN comes out of eaves dropping.
ROBIN Joanna, is it?
TED Robin!
ROBIN Joanna, Ted is a great guy and the fact that he wants to do everything he can for you without sleeping with you is beyond me. (MORE) "The Waiting Game" 27.
ROBIN (CONT'D) If I don’t put out on the first date then I usually don’t even get a call.
LILY and MARSHALL come out of eaves dropping.
TED Oh, so everyone is here.
LILY And Ted is crazy for trying to impress us. The fact that he scored a babe like you is impressive enough.
MARSHALL Yeah, and Ted is the kind of guy to make you happy no matter what. I mean he does it for all of us. I know he will do it for you no matter the circumstance.
JOANNA is a little nervous at this point.
JOANNA I really think that I should-
TED I’m so sorry, Joanna. For everything, I really think that I can be-
JOANNA instantly calms down.
JOANNA I forgive you.
TED Let me finish. I really think that I can be- (beat) Wait, what?
BARNEY comes out of eaves dropping.
BARNEY (Swedish Accent) Yeah, sorry what?
JOANNA I forgive you.
TED Why? "The Waiting Game" 28.
JOANNA Because it’s the right thing to do. Why would I hold a grudge like that? I think you’re a good guy and you just made a mistake. Bornei didn’t have to give a whole sermon about forgiveness. I forgive you, Ted.
TED Well, why didn’t you just say so?
JOANNA You never said you were sorry. (beat) And if you are who these guys say you are, I would be missing out if I didn’t give you a second chance.
MARSHALL I don’t want to play lawyer. (beat) Well, yes I do. Does this mean that you are going to go on a second date with Mr. Mosby here?
JOANNA I would love to.
The whole gang cheers and celebrates.
JOANNA (CONT'D) You guys are an interesting bunch. (beat) A hopeless romantic, a swede, a lawyer, a stranger that called me a babe, and a nun. (beat) There’s a lot of love here.
LILY This is just the beginning, gorgeous.
ROBIN Can we go back home and nap? This was really early for me.
MARSHALL Or we can grab a drink?
They all murmur in agreement.
They all walk together away from the church. "The Waiting Game" 29.
JOANNA (To BARNEY) You know it’s a felony to impersonate a minister?
BARNEY How long is the jail time?
JOANNA I don’t know, maybe a year.
BARNEY Perfect.
END OF ACT III "The Waiting Game" 30.
TAG
INT. MARSHALL AND LILY'S APARTMENT. BEDROOM. EVENING.
LILY is in bed and MARSHALL gets in with her.
He is sitting up. She is laying at an angle.
LILY I’m so happy for Ted and Joanna.
MARSHALL Me too! They just get to know each other better everyday. Isn’t it amazing.
LILY Yeah. It really is. (beat) What if we waited, say a month, to have sex.
LILY sits up. They both get really excited.
MARSHALL A month? Let’s say six months!
LILY How about a year?
MARSHALL Great!
LILY We’re going to be so good at this.
MARSHALL Yeah, so good. Won’t even be a problem.
The two of them look at each other for about five seconds. They start making out, MARSHALL lays her down and is above her. They are about to have sex.
END OF TAG