America Embraces Jayms Blonde
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America Embraces Jayms Blonde MIAMI HERALD: A hairdresser by trade and a secret agent by choice, Jayms Blonde and his faithful pedicurist Precious Needmoore, lead the fight to save the planet from bad hair and bad air. Armed with bulletproof-mousse, Uzi blow-dry- ers, and hair-curler-hand-grenades, they rescue the dude-in-distress, and make saving the earth look fabulous. CONETICUTT POST: The combination of wild, globetrotting adventure and stylish graphic novel illustrations every few pages gives the book a wonderful over-the-top feel. Blonde’s foes are evil capitalists whose industries spike global warming and other eco-disasters. The hero and his cohorts work for STOP (Stop Terrorizing Our Planet) which is covertly funded by media celebrities. James Bond fought an organization known as SPECTRE (Special Executive for Counter-Intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion) led by the supremely evil Ernst Blofeld. Blonde and STOP’s primary foe is ZENRON (Zillionaire Environmental Nihilist Reinstating Oligarchy Nobility). The group is repre- sented in the first adventure by “the richest, most beautiful and most heartless woman in the universe: Zaroya Sylva Kenmore Cohen Abud Grimaldi Chang.” Cabell clearly had a ball transforming literature and film’s most promiscuous het- erosexual spy into his very active gay hero. KIRKUS DISCOVERIES: Cabell makes the over-the-top zaniness and mock action-hero antics fun, and everything congeals into a wildly enjoyable ride for readers who enjoy the adventures of a muscle-bound, crime-fighting queen in tights. A super-silly, whirling first episode that will leave gay superhero fans scratching their heads-and eager for the next installment. LAMBDA BOOK REPORT WINTER 2008: If a reader relishes campy writing employing loads of outrageous puns, double entendres, innuendos, inside jokes, and the like, then he will enjoy this first outing in what proposes to be a series. Typical of the novel’s humor is the villainess’s quip as she feeds gay Hugh Humpit to her tigers: “If you don’t eat pussy, pussy will eat you.” (Other charac- ters’ names include Connie Ling Qua, Harri Kummalot, and Dr. Randy Dick.) The story is erotic to its core without ever being sexually explicit. Forty-six highly appropriate illustrations by Cabell, Anthony Maligno, and Pevo scattered throughout the book give it the flavor of a graphic novel. LOS ANGELES INDEPENDENT WEEKLY: (Cover Story) author Robert W. Cabell uses his flirtatious narrative to pack a serious pro-environmental mes- sage. “I wanted Jayms Blonde to be an icon for the world, a cheerleader for the environment, not [solely] a gay icon,” Cabell said. Blonde’s mission: to save the world from bad hair and bad air. Riddled with playful double innuendoes, Cabell teases with snappy one-liners that make a statement about Hollywood just as much they do about sex In the end, Cabell describes Blonde as the “updated- Tarzan with the world as his jungle and John instead of Jane by his side.” WASHINGTON DC BLADE: Nothing about this book is subtle, but the over- the-top nature of the storytelling is the novel’s biggest advantage. The pun ratio is sky-high, as are the Octopussy-esque risqué character names. Jayms’ sidekick is named Precious Needmore, the equipment man is dubbed Harry Hardware, and in the book’s later chapters Jayms beds a young man name Kummalot. The only restraint used in “Jayms Blonde” is in regards to the sex. Amorous scenes are alluded to, not elucidated. HX MAGAZINE: (New York) Hairdresser/secret agent Jayms Blonde is gay, and runs the Pink Berets, a group determined to halt the evil machinations of an anti- environment group. Breezy and funny, Jayms is a hero for every gay boy out there. XTRA WEST (Vancouver BC): As an agent of STOP (Stop Terrorizing Our Planet), Jayms fights for the environment against the nefarious ZENRON Cor- poration (Zillionaire Environmental Nihilists Reinstating Oligarchy Nobility) with his arsenal of deadly cosmetic products, sassy comments and unquenchable libido. True to the Bond tradition, he has an impressive assortment of gadgets that includes a hair dryer that shoots Teflon bullets, explosive press-on nails and bulletproof hair mousse. The pièce de resistance is a backpack that sprouts wings so Jayms can fly around like a bumblebee-a very sexy bumblebee. AMBUSHmag.com BOOK BEAT: The Hair-Raising Adventures of Jayms Blonde is hilarious, sexy, and definitely a joy to read, but I doubt if it will ever win any major awards. Jayms Blonde is a gorgeous gay guy who makes the bad guys pay. He is a hairdresser by trade and a secret agent by choice, a former U.S. Navy Seal who can use an Uzi as well as a teasing comb. With the aid of his faith- ful pedicurist Precious Needmoore, they lead an elite band of Pink Berets to save the world from bad hair and bad air. It just gets wilder as you read along. DAVID of ATLANTA: (Cover Story) THE BASIC PLOT is of two warring organizations. STOP (Stop Terrorizing Our Planet) is the environmental espio- nage group, led by the RuPaul-like Mama, that employs Jayms. STOP’s arch nemesis is ZENRON (Zealot Environmental Nazis Ruthlessly Obliterating Nature), a sinister cabal of billionaires who refuse to use their money to help Mother Nature. The only restraint used in “Jayms Blonde” is in regards to the sex. Amorous scenes are alluded to, not elucidated, and the most salacious thing in an illustration is the occasional bare bottom. “The definition of the book is ‘the lights go off before the dicks come out,’” Cabell jokes. It’s salacious, but not X-rated. IN MAGAZINE: New York-based writer Robert W. Cabell creates an over-the- top gay fantasy world in The Hair-Raising Adventures of Jayms Blonde, his illus- trated novel that takes us from Hawaii to Hong Kong for Blonde’s increasingly outlandish battles with the forces of ZENRON (Zealous Environmental Nazis Ruthlessly Obliterating Nature). Like James Bond and M, Blonde gets his secret assignments from the RuPaulesque Mama. Also like Bond, Cabell employs deli- ciously shameless names for his characters, like Hung Lo and Harri Kummalot. This one feels like the first in a delightfully silly series. OUT IN NEW JERSEY: Everyone knows no one is more fierce than a gay hair- dresser on a mission but you just aren’t ready for how fierce that can be when super-gay-hero Jayms Blonde fires up his Uzi hair dryer and starts lobbing a few hair curler grenades. A secret agent of STOP, (Stop Terrorizing Our Planet) Blonde is an eco-warrior battling the forces of planetary spoilation. The book is really a lot of fun and would be an enjoyable fantasy trip for everyone from gay teens through older people who haven’t forgotten the pleasure of imagination. With copious, sharply rendered illustrations, the book is almost a graphic novel and much more than a comic. It leaves the reader satisfied, laughing and ponder- ing “if only”. ABSOLUTE PALM SPRINGS MAGAZINE: The Hair-Raising Adventures of Jayms Blonde is a naughty, sexy, comical book about a hairdresser/secret agent fighting crime to save the environment without messing his hair! There is only one thing Jayms loves more than crime fighting-that is sex and a lot of it. It’s a very entertaining book that will keep you laughing ’til the end. 247GAY.com: With a cast of over-the-top characters and a vein of irresistible sexiness, Robert W. Cabell’s Jayms Blonde is one book that delivers page after page of twists and turns. It is made all the more fun by the comic drawings that accompany the story and put faces to the wildly dangerous and irreverently sexual players that make it so much fun. BAY AREA REPORTER: He’s got a great concept-The Hair-Raising Adven- tures of Jayms Blonde, a cute cartoon gay action-hero who doubles as a hairstylist to the stars. Blonde does battle with Zaroya and her evil henchmen and women, as she plots to assassinate Miss Galaxy, force Pakistan and India into war, and ruin the environment by destroying corn/ethanol products. GAYWIRED.com: Grab Jayms Blonde, renowned stylist to the stars and secret agent, and hang on if you can. He is going to take you on an entertaining joyride through a deliriously hyper-active soap opera of a world where just about every- one is gay and espionage is the sexiest occupation around. OUTLOOK WEEKLY: A former Navy Seal turned hairdresser, Jayms Blonde defends the planet from bad hair and bad air in this hilarious action-packed novel by Robert W. Cabell. When a hairdresser turns hero, “wash and blow” has a whole new meaning. OUTSMART MAGAZINE: (Houston TX) It’s high time the spy genre was goosed a little. And while Alan Cumming’s TV project failed to ever hit the air- waves, gay espionage aficionados can now giddily claim one of their own (via novel form) in Robert W. Cabell’s The Hair-Raising Adventures of Jayms Blonde, a shamelessly fizzy tale of a gay hairdresser turned international superspy. With glam locales, unashamedly juvenile dialogue, and a cast of characters with pun-heavy names, this martini may not be very stirring, but it has some fabu- lously drunken moments. -Review: Steven Foster AMAZON.com Book Review: Is it waaaaaay “over the top”? Duh, yeah! It’s car- toonish on many levels, including literally (most chapters have a scene illustrated by a cartoon panel that would be right at home in a Batman comic), and the dia- logue is a overflowing well of camp, bad puns and more double entendres per page than I can count.