KODT No.#4 “Have Dice Will Travel” $5.95 KODT No.#21 “Home is Where You Hang Yer Dice Bag” $2.95 KODT No.#5 “Master of the Game” sold out KODT No.#22 “Opportunity Knocks!!” $2.95 KODT No.#6 “Plays Well With Others” sold out KODT No.#23 “Dice Follies!” $2.95 KODT No.#7 “The Dice Man Cometh!” sold out KODT Tales From The Vault $9.95 KODT No.#8 “An Orc By Any Other Name” sold out KODT Bundle of Trouble vol. one $9.95 KODT No.#9 “Two Dice For Sister Sara” sold out To purchase back issues, send a check or money order KODT No.#10 “Let the Dice Fall Where They May” sold out (made payable to Kenzer and Company) to: KODT No.#11 “When in Doubt: Hack!!” $4.95 ______KODT No.#12 “The Good, The Bad, and the Unlucky!” $5.95 Kenzer & Company KODT No.#13 “Men That Hack” $6.95 Mail Order Fulfillments 2094 Camino a los Cerros, Menlo Park, CA 94025 KODT No.#14 “A Fist Full of Dice and a Bad Attitude” $7.95 ______KODT No.#15 “Mama Told Me not to Play” $19.95 KODT No.#16 “The Dice of Wrath” $3.95 KODT No.#17 “This Sword for Hire!” $3.95 or fax/E-mail [[email protected]] a valid Visa, MasterCard, or Discover card KODT No.#18 “Against All Odds” $3.95 number, your signature, card type and expiration date to us at (650) 233-8270. KODT No.#19 “Heroes of the HackLeague” $2.95 Please include $2 per Vault or Bundle of Trouble, $1 for the first KODT No.#20 “Hack in Space!” $2.95 comic and 50¢ per additional comic for shipping and handling.

To p Ten reasons to play Monty Python and the Holy Grail

10) We shall say “Ni” to you if you do not appease us! 9) Questions Three Cards - What other CCG requires the players to answer trivia questions as part of the game? Brush up on your Python trivia and you will excel at this facet of the game. 8) Song Cards - Great for games at conventions, bars or anywhere in public. Force your opponent to stand up and sing or they will face the consequences. 7) You get to kill stuff - Knights battling monsters, knights battling other knights, knights battling young virgins. No, scratch the virgins, it’s too perilous. 6) You get to pretend that you are a Frenchman - Play any of the Frenchmen cards and a couple of taunts on your opponent and you may soon believe you actually are an extraordinarily rude Frenchman with a silly accenta, you silly king! We bring role-playing to card games in a hilariousSample way. file 5) One deck per player does it all - Specially designed starter decks allow players to play and win with just one deck. Also, each deck is guaranteed to have at least two of everyone's favorite knights from the round table. 4) You can use the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch and blow thyne enemies to tiny bits. 3) There is but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon. Zoot, Dingo and the rest of the young virgins have been very naughty and they must be punished. 2) Monty Python and the Holy Grail is the funniest movie of all time. Each game is like rewriting the script of your favorite movie in your own particular ...um... ahh... Idiom sir?... Yes, idiom! 1) The killer rabbit - It has nasty, big, sharp, pointy teeth and is great fun to throw at your opponent. But remember, in order to run away, you must actually stand up and shout, “Run away! Run away!”.

And Now For Something Completely Different..... A Card Game That’s Fun(ny)

Collectible Card Game 60 card starter decks $10.95 Available at finer Game Stores or directly from Kenzer and Company. 15 card booster packs $3.45 To purchase cards, send a check or money order (made payable to Kenzer and Company) to: ______Kenzer & Company another fine Kenzer and Company Mail Order Fulfillments product 2094 Camino______A Los Cerros, Menlo Park, CA 94025 Monty Python and the Holy Grail CCG is produced by Kenzer and or fax/E-mail [[email protected]] a valid Visa, MasterCard, or Discover card number, your signature, Company, the exclusive holder of the worldwide card game license from Python (Monty) pictures, Ltd. Card content and Design © Copyright 1998 card type and expiration date to us at (650) 233-8270. Please include 50¢ per starter deck and Kenzer and Company. All rights reserved. Movie stills © NFTC Ltd. 25¢ per booster pack for shipping and handling. Knights of the

TM KENZER & COMPANY Dinner Table Knights of the Dinner Table #24 Hackzilla! October, 1998 ______© Copyright 1998, Kenzer and “Hackzilla!”“Hackzilla!” Company, All Rights Reserved. Knights of the Dinner Table™ magazine is published monthly by The KODT DEVELOPMENT TEAM is Kenzer and Company. Subscriptions: A one year sub- Jolly R. Blackburn, Brian Jelke, scription (12 issues) is only $32.00 Steve Johansson and David S. Kenzer (US $36.00 in Canada and US $50.00 Overseas). To subscribe, send a check or Cover Art by George Vrbanic money order (made payable to Kenzer and Company) to: ______Kenzer & Company TABLE OF CONTENTS KODT Subscriptions, 2094 Camino a los Cerros Cries From the Attic Menlo Park, CA 94025 Editorial of a madman ...... 2 ______Table Talk or fax a valid Visa, MasterCard, or Reader mail ...... 3 Discover card number, your signa- When Worlds Collide ture, card type and expiration date b.a. discovers that he and earl aren’t really that different ...... 5 to us at (650) 233-8270. Back Issues: Back issues and The Gary Jackson Files: Gulag 17 related merchandising are also there’s an uprising in hard 8’s work camps, er summer playtester camps ...... 10 available. See inside cover of this Bleating to Death issue or our website for details. the elusive 12 point llama strikes ...... 12 Legal Notice: Knights of the Sample file Dinner Table, Hackzilla!, Game Ultimate Treasure! Vine, Hacknoia, Wadizitz, KODT, the ultimate treasure is knowledge...or is it? ...... 16 HackMaster, Hard Eight KODT Idea Search Enterprises, Gary Jackson Files, fill in the blanks and send us your own story ideas for kodt ...... 26 the Kenzer and Company Logo, and all prominent characters and Movies from a Gamer’s Point of View likenesses thereof are trademarks movies subjected to the toughest critic of them all - a gamer! ...... 27 of Kenzer and Company. Heard it on the Gamevine Mailing Address: Kenzer and news, rumors and industry buzz plucked from the vine ...... 28 - 29 Company, 2094 Camino a los Cerros, Menlo Park, CA 94025. Brian’s Small Press Picks Phone/fax: (650) 233-8270. brian’s picks of the month for games worth pulling off the shelf ...... 30 Internet: [email protected] Weird Pete’s Bulletin Board (editorial inquiries only) or pete’s board is jammed with lot’s of interesting things to read...... 31 [email protected] (all other inquiries). World Wide Web: Parting Shots™ http://members.aol.com/relkin/ken one last jab at yer funny bone on the way out the door ...... 32 zerco.html Submissions: We accept submis- sions for strip ideas, jokes, car- toons, etc. We are interested in run- ning anything that other gamers and fans would enjoy. Send a S.A.S.E. for writer’s guidelines to the address listed above or E-mail Knights of the Dinner Table™ was created by Jolly R. Blackburn way back in 1990 as [email protected]. ‘filler’ for the small press magazine Shadis™ (which he was publishing out of a spare Advertising: A copy of our latest bedroom). Eight years later, as head writer and creative director for the KODT ad rates can be obtained by writing development team, he continues to draw and write strips for the monthly Knights of the KenzerCo address above or ™ ® ™ calling (650) 233-8270. You may the Dinner Table magazine as well as for Dragon magazine and The Rifter also E-mail [email protected] Sourcebook Series. Editorial of a Madman “Oh man! They trashed it! All those memories — Gone!!” Anonymous Gamer at GenCon ‘98 upon seeing the old MECCA center being demolished.

ell, the summer convention season is over!! All of us els of the building. As one gamer put it, “Damn! That’s sad!” here are feeling much the same - grateful for the jour- Throughout the weekend small groups of people could be Wney but very glad to be home where we can settle seen gathering in front of the old site to take pictures, talk of old down for the fall and winter and get back to what we like best - times and to mourn the loss of what many described as an ‘old producing product and writing comic strips. Fortunately, we did- friend’. n’t come home empty handed. Hundreds of fans stopped by our At night, the careful observer, could make out shadows booth to say, “Hey, I got a funny story for you. Maybe you can climbing the barricades around the site and scurrying around the rubble piles collecting small pieces of shattered concrete to take use it!” home as momentos. I even overheard several exhibitors joking All in all it was a great con-season for KenzerCo. We didn’t about packaging the stones and selling them as ‘pieces of gam- take any casualties this year (though Dave Kenzer was nearly ing history’ (at least I think they were joking). beaten to death after telling a complete stranger in an elevator, On the last day of the con one of those ‘scurrying shadows’ “I’m not wearing any underwear!”) and we weren’t asked to gave us one of his momentos. It was a large aluminum letter ‘C’. leave any parties!! (Steve Johansson was thrown from a 7th floor I was just about to ask what it was when it hit me. I’d seen this balcony after singing “You’re the wo-wo-woman I want!” fif- letter many, many times before!! It was from the old MECCA teen consecutive times on his portable karoake machine, but he walls and had once spelled out the name of the building. I bought his way back into the party with a bottle of Old Grandad.) grabbed a black pen and set off on a mission - to get as many Sadly, we were reminded once again over the past several folks at the con to sign it as possible. I don’t know why but it months that this was also a season of change! The Games seemed like the thing to do. When Dave Kenzer asked where I Industry is a small one by any standard and as such it’s a tight was going and I told him, he immediately said, “What an awe- one. Sure we have our own peculiar brand of politics, feuds and some idea!” and joined me on my quest. Invariably as we in-fighting, but I think most of us involved in making games feel walked up to people and asked them to sign the ‘C’ they would like we’re part of a larger family. By-and-large most of us are look at us strangely. Then as we explained what it was they here for the same reason. We love playing games and being would smile, grab the pen and say, “Damn! What a great idea!” around those who share that passion. I always try to remember Soon people were seeking this ‘common ground’ when I’m dealing with others in this line US out and asking to sign the of work and that’s probably why I usually mention friendships ‘C’. Although we weren’t and gaming in the same breath. To me, the two go hand-in-hand. discriminating about who So when one of us in the industry falls or drops from the fold, signed the ‘C’, (we wanted I think we all feel a sense of loss as well as the unsettling feeling gamers to sign it as well as that, “Hey, that could have been me!” gaming celebrities) we came We’ve been barraged with reports of companies laying off away with a pretty impres- staff and taking other steps to survive a difficult period. (West sive collection of signatures - End Games and Steve Jackson Games among the long list). In Gary Gygax, Dave Arneson, this business, laying off an employee often means laying off your Peter Adkison, Rick Loomis, best friend so I’m sure such decisions were put off as long as Jeff Easely, Clyde Cauldwell, possible and only made when hands wereSample forced. file Keith Parkinson, Eric Others companies have chosen to survive by merging or sell- A rare photo of the Wujick, Frank Mentzer, Greg ing off product lines. (Avalon Hill was recently purchased by treasured relic known Stafford, John Kovalic, Hasbro). The troubles aren’t limited to just manufacturers, how- only as the ‘C’ Edwin Milheim, Larry ever. We just recently lost one of our distributors (Greenfield) Elmore, Ken Whitman, Lou Zocchi, Paul Lidberg, and far too and I’m sure many of you have local gameshops who have given many more to list. up the ghost in recent months. As I write this there are reports By the end of the day we were getting offers to buy the ‘C’. of even more companies having to make such difficult decisions Several people came by to make sure so-and-so’s name was on and many more ‘changes’ in the coming months. the ‘C’ because so-and-so HAD to be on there. For some reason Did I say ‘season of change’? Perhaps the most obvious the ‘C’ had become important to people. It meant something - change was arriving at GenCon this year and witnessing the like a group photo saying, “I was there!” demolition of the old convention site. It was an eerie sight to This isn’t to say GenCon is dead. I enjoyed this year’s show behold the large pile of rubble and twisted iron that used to be and look forward to the next one. Like moving into any new the old exhibitor hall. house it just didn’t feel like home. For that to happen it has to Though many of us already knew the center was being torn hold memories of good times, which, after a few more cons, I’m down, I don’t think it sunk in until we actually got there and sure will happen. stood on the old steps that once led into the main foyer of In the meantime, I’ve unofficially become the Keeper of the MECCA. It looked like a bomb had gone off deep in the bow- ‘C’ and it holds a place of honor on the wall over my desk. I plan on bringing it back to GenCon every year to be displayed at our booth along with the hubcap of shame, our can of SPAM, the kissing-fish and of course the ‘migrating’ coconut shells. Enjoy the issue!! CRIES FROM THE ATTIC CRIES FROM THE ATTIC

Jolly R. Blackburn Keeper of the ‘C’

Out with the old - in with the new!! The old MECCA center, home of GENCON in years past is demolished. Ft. review "Field #20 from Jeff Wood Jeff This is the Davis, CA Japji Khalsa

TABLE TALK: READER MAILgoing. Bernhard Kolb,

TABLEGameMaster's TALK: READER MAIL "Protesters at "Protesters Producer, ManaFest 98 Producer, A-1 Comics. [email protected] s (without Sara). Paul Dale Roberts, Publisher President, Khalsa Brain Games really had me busting up as Sara Fantasy Book Club Peoples' Comic Book Newsletter/ when I was in the Army in when I was in the The Man in the Iron Mask The Man in the Iron , so, hopefully, there won't be many there , so, hopefully, I really appreciate the kind words and the adventure, as you did in KODT#14? the adventure, as you did in Knights of the Dinner Table Retro-KODT Origins is slated for July 9-11 at the same place. This is at the same place. is slated for July 9-11 "A Novel Idea" bit. Funny thing, I see the guy in the cow suit all “playing” and the ell, I can see why you want to include these pre-made ell, I can see why you want That really gives me a better feel for the adventure...and That really gives me a better oday, I picked up oday, Issue #22 looks great! Thanks for the great page on Issue #22 looks great! Although the dates aren't written in stone quite yet, I remember it was plenty of fun and this comic book I highly enjoyed the "Editorial of a Madman", the great T Dear KODT, why thank you for reminding me I must say I must First off, comments about the new That said, I do want to make W I just read the "Readers Talk Back" of issue 20 of KODT Talk I just read the "Readers always speaking English, but I guess it’s OK ., they aren’t If everything fails, just look around in your Unit for some All in all, good and great job! Long live the Knights! All in all, good and great job! orkshop ell, as the German roleplayer that I am, I have to tell you, that ell, as the German roleplayer that I am, I have to tell you, scheduling conflicts with you or other manufacturers. Dear KODT, Report: ManaFest". ManaFest" the corresponding stories. I loved the the time. He hands out flyers across the street from me when I'm having tea on Haight street. ManaFest '99 the week AFTER the week Huachuca, Arizona. look reminded me of those days. Keep up the good work and forward to the next exciting issue! and her friends tried to get a one of my favorite comic book stores, did I have some first time reading your comic book and boy, good laughs. advertisements for games, play and everything else! I'm not a gamer of sorts, but did Dungeons and Dragons Dear KODT, W I read comics. The antics of the Knights has me rolling by the of the Knights has me rolling The antics I read comics. regular basis when I each issue, and that's on a time I finish expect! know what to the main two are the 'expanded' sections. Now, Dear KODT, not finding a gaming group. and found the complaint about W in there seems to be gaming groups even in the smallest village Germany. to local- fairly easy to find the right people to play with. Just try There you surely ize some roleplaying-shops in a town nearby. or simply find some people, that are searching for can ask for, more group members. Those should know some "crazy roleplaying SCA-members. germans" who could help you find a group. adventures for your readers, but please, could you at least show adventures for your readers, the Knights Knight stories...try not to over- As for the historical laughs. :) to the group, and counter-balance do them. Sara is a wonderful right when she isn't around. somehow it just doesn't seem Jolly

Marvin

semester eird Pete via E-mail W Sample file Sample Knights of the Dinner Table aol.com!! @ you HAVE to sit in. Thanks for sending in you HAVE . Or is Pete the incarnation of me? Small Business Administration Small Business because we were constantly getting letters because we were Our Back! Talk Readers JollyRB eird Pete you can write to us via e-mail at W or you can send your snail mail to GOT SOMETHING ith arched eyebrows I wondered what scheme this guy ith arched eyebrows I wondered while back we toyed with the idea of doing a Back in college I spent all semester putting on the polish- Anyway, I wanted to thank you for the instant popularity. Anyway, Enjoy the photograph and of course I'll be anxiously wait- W A So who am I? According to your strip, I am the living incar- So who am I? Caught up in the frenzy -- a few other people in the store had Caught up in the frenzy -- a few other people in the store There I was sitting at the end of a gaming table (my normal There I was sitting at the end The following is a true story: I walked into one of my local is a true story: I walked into The following “Will the ‘real’ Weird Pete please stand up!” the ‘real’“Will Weird TO SAY, TOUGH GUY?? ou’re the spitting image of ol’ou’re Pete. If you make one of the ing to see more of my favorite character. conventions next summer where we happen to be running a conventions next summer where Live KODT Reading project -- a gaming store proposal. Hmmmm. with I know that some people might remark that a balding guy beard prominent nose and glasses, a Bozo hairstyle, and a full uncan- might seem somewhat common but the resemblance is ny. Look Alike Contest Pete!” Weird fans saying, “I know a guy who looks like from we need to. if I’m not sure Based on your photo, however, Y the photo. It caught me totally by surprise. ing touches for my nation of to see and remark about the resemblance -- I purchased both to see and remark about the resemblance -- I purchased gam- copies and have been getting the same response from my ing group, friends, and coworkers. of the ordinary -- I prefer my U.S. Rangers t-shirt "kill them all of the ordinary -- I prefer my U.S. Rangers t-shirt "kill The only differ- and let God sort it out" for first impressions). ence was that I was in cartoon form. place), hunched slightly (better posture to guard dice, food- place), hunched slightly (better t-shirt (somewhat out and notes), and dressed in a plain stuffs, gaming supply stores (we're blessed with several in my home- stores (we're blessed with gaming supply to keep them all in to spread my bucks around town so I have by the owner with, was immediately accosted business) and comic book?" did you know you're in a "Marv, two issues -- and of course, the left. Surprise. He had the last to As he frantically flipped the pages I began last copy of each. book dust had finally sent him wonder if the years of comic over the edge. I was shocked. Dear KODT, I buy a couple of comics, a gam- was up to this time. Normally trading cards. He calls over to the ing magazine, and a pack of any counter help to see if he's got KODT LETTERBOX, 1003 Monroe Pike, Marion, IN 46953 Sample file When Worlds Collide! by steve johansson and jolly blackburn

WEIRD PETE’S in the last episode, “We’re gonna HACK your WORLD” BA FELTON Drop-N-Drag World Builder Kits. OFFICIAL HACKMASTER™ TOURNEY SITE stumbled into a i heard you said some pretty new face behind the UGLY things about me. register of the OPEN GAMES PIT -

D! his PART TIME HELP WANTE SEE THE MAN INSIDE!! ARCH NEMESIS NO CAMERAS!! EARL NO PRESS!! SLACKMOZER!!

maybe things are different up in SAGINAW awh, c’mon EARL. where I come from but up there a MAN doesn’t i don’t even know you. i don’t know how well talk BEHIND someone’s BACK!! if he’s got i’m sure my comments you know BRIAN but something to say he says it to his FACE. were taken out of the BIG OAF tends CONTEXT. i’ve got to EXAGGERATE. nothing against you.

it’s tough being the NEW guy in town. i come here trying to make NEW FRIENDS and all i HEAR about is how YOU have a PROBLEM with ME. anyone else would have PUNCHED YOUR LIGHTS OUT a long time ago. PUNCH OUT...HUH? h..h...honest, EARL, my comments weren’t PERSONAL. i just didn’t care for MODULE G‡. that’s all. Sample file

G‡? you mean GNOME UPRISING? that was one of my apparently MISTER BEST WORKS!! what the hell’s your BEEF with G‡? GAWD_ALMIGHTY GARY JACKSON favors the DWARVEN CLANS OF PRAX over the GNOME PROTECTORATES. n...n...n..now don’t get me wrong. the PREMISE the JERK did a HATCHET JOB to my was RIGHT ON. in fact it ROCKED!! but MODULE before it went to PRESS!! i think you DROPPED THE BALL. where were the GNOME TITANS? huh? and what about gary did that? really? i can’t imagine him LORD FLATAROY”S “GNOME GUARD”? no SABATOGING an OFFICIAL HACK- mention whatsoever!! the GNOMES should MASTER SUPPLEMENT. damn!! have KICKED ASS in that adventure.

HUH? hey that’s what I yeah, well, that’s how told GARY!! i had ALL PROFESSIONAL JEALOUSY really? that. he EDITED it out. usually rears it’s ugly head. i had i was TORKED!! you get it right in the BACK. no idea.

5