COMIC STRIPS ® KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE

PUBLISHER Kenzer and Company 10 Phone Home EDITOR-IN-CHIEF 11 The Swag Brigade Jolly R. Blackburn • [email protected] ASSISTANT EDITOR 14 The Pick Up Game Barbara Blackburn • [email protected] 18 Change of Plans KODT DEVELOPMENT TEAM Jolly R. Blackburn • Steve Johansson 21 Shanghaied David S. Kenzer • Brian Jelke • Barbara Blackburn (+1) 25 Kryptonite in a HACKMASTER EDITOR Steve Johansson • [email protected] Shot Glass KODT STRIP ART Jolly R. Blackburn 28 Bait and Switch COVER ART Fraim Brothers 63 One-Two Punches CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS Brendon Fraim • Brian Fraim Larry Elmore • Bill “Indy” Cavalier • Jolly Blackburn • Carolyn Stogdill CONTRIBUTING WRITERS OTHER TOONS Kenneth Newquist • Noah Chinn • Mark Dowson 61 SnarfQuest™ Barbara Blackburn • Jolly R. Blackburn • Larry Elmore J.L. Duncan • Alan Hume • James Davenport • Kira Parker Larry Elmore 64 Additional Cartoons SALES/MARKETING/ADVERTISING Steve Johansson • [email protected] • 847-858-6847 Bill “Indy” Cavalier, Carolyn Stogdill SUBSCRIPTION SERVICES [email protected] CHARMED PERSONS Sample file Kevin Vance • Jack Grayson • Craig Zipse

PRINTED IN U.S.A. ABOUT Postmaster: Send address changes to: THE COVER Knights of the Dinner Table 1659 N CLAREMONT AVE, CHICAGO, IL 60647 The Fraim Brothers are E-Mail: [email protected] • Phone: 847.662.6600 back with another classic World Wide Web: www.kenzerco.com comic book cover parody. Submissions: We accept submissions for strip ideas, jokes, cartoons, etc. We are interested in running anything that other gamers and fans Do you know which one? would enjoy. Check out our website for writer’s guidelines. Subscriptions: A standard 12-issue monthly subscription is only $77.99 (or $65.99 for slower bulk mail shipping). [US $92.99 for Canada or US $117.99 for other foreign locations.] 6- and 24-issue subscriptions are also available. To subscribe, order by credit card at our online store at HTTP://WWW.KENZERCO.COM or send a check or money order (made payable to Kenzer and Company) to: NIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE™ was accidentally created by Jolly R. Blackburn Kway back in 1990 as ‘filler’ for his small press magazine, . It was Kenzer & Company KODT Subscriptions, something of a ‘creative burp’ and Jolly really didn’t give it much thought. 1659 N Claremont Ave, Chicago, IL 60647 KODT Perhaps that’s why he was just as surprised as anyone that soon was Back Issues: KODT overshadowing everything else he’d ever done and that the created was now Older issues and other merchandise are avail- able for direct purchase on our website at HTTP://WWW.KENZERCO.COM controlling the creator. The Knights have gone far beyond anything Jolly or the D-Team (, Brian Jelke, Steve Johansson and Barbara Blackburn) ever imagined. In 2006, Jolly was ATTENTION RETAILERS: If you are having difficulty getting our inducted into the Hall of Fame. Now, with over 246 issues and over 74 trade paper backs under product (including back issues and RPGs) please call or e-mail us. their belts, it’s been a wild ride and we look forward to seeing where the Knights take us next.

Knights of the Dinner Table® #246 3 FROM THE MAIL BAG... ot much time before this issue is ripped from were places I went for a laugh back in the day that I my hands and rushed off to press, so I’m turn- don’t think I would go to today. Part of it is due to the Ning to the mail bag and reader questions to fact the characters are much more developed these finish this page up. GenCon 50 is just weeks away days. Also the fact that each strip isn’t a simple set up and I have the Men that Hack tradepaperback to for a punchline. Aces and Eights wrap up as well as some tasks to Dueling Banjos comes to mind where it is implied a tackle. Needless to say things are frantic here. So — gamemaster had a player’s character raped. I winced without further adiou. when I read that strip recently. Also, some strips where Q: Will KenzerCo ever offer an ezine subcription? a player is mercilessly bullied by the other players. Some Do you forsee the dead tree version ever ending in of those give me pause today. favor of an all digital format. The truth is I’ve evolved as a person as well as a writer A: This is a tough one because, frankly I don’t know. over the decades and so has the comic. Just something The world is changing for all of us and all we can do is I’m mindful of. — Jolly adapt. As with so many things, the market ultimatly Q: Do you think Ken Whitman will ever finish KODT dictates what whose adaptations will be. Certainly, at Live Action and release it to backers? some point, we’ll be offering ezine subs — while at the A same time continuing with dead tree. : Only Ken knows — and he’s been silent. Last year he announced a new deadline — kicking the can down As for when — I don’t have answers. There are still the road to August, 2017. So I guess we’ll see what some barriers and problems without immediate transpires next month. But I’m not hopeful given past solutions (for a company our size). — Jolly promises. Q: Have you ever published a strip or added a detail Well, that’s all the room there is for this issue. Hope to KODT canon that you later regretted...? you enjoy the issue in hand — and as always, A: Good question. And the answer might suprise My all your hits be crits! some. Recently I was re-reading some of the verySample early file issues of KODT and I was confronted by the fact that Jolly Blackburn I’ve changed as a person over the last 25 years. There July 4, 2017

Twenty Years Ago This Month: B.A. struggles to keep the Knights on the straight and narrow. From Knighs of the Dinner Table #9 July 1997 4 Knights of the Dinner Table® #246 we are GOING... o-okay..... MOVE IT...¡¡ OKAY — \’m GOING...

-push- -shove-

Big Guy mode and attempting to raid Hard that cool wall clock as my own. Eight’s shipping office of invoices so he Favorite part of the entire issue was the could sell Gary’signature. “bee-beep” as Brian and Sara looked on in EDITOR’S NOTE: The mail just Sara having to literally shove him toward wonderment when Crutch drives by on a never seems to stop. While we the door had me laughing out loud. Part of fork lift. Can’t wait to see what he does with make every effort to read each and me thinks she was so quick to do so because it but I’m picturing mountains of pallets on every letter, it is not always possible she was half tempted to grab a few invoices Brian’s “pooling point”. to give a personal reply. Even if your letter herself. She just wasn’t going to let him keep My only disappointment is we didn’t get doesn’t happen to be published or if you don’t talking and talk her into it. to see the end of Gary’s game and no one get a direct response, rest assured you are Brilliant writing. Brian’s downfall months who participated would share the details. being heard. ago, his redemption and now his first real Bummer. I assume we’ll hear what happens Remember, KODT is an interactive temptation. He just can’t help being Brian. eventually but dirty trick, Mr. Blackburn. magazine. We want you, the reader, to be I have a feeling Gary is going to be sorry Nice work. Looking forward to the next involved. So keep your suggestions, thoughts he ever agreed to this shopping spree. issue. and opinions (constructive and otherwise) coming. Opinions expressed by readers are Sample fileMike Ross 7 Paul Rine ^ not necessarily shared by the editor or Kenzer and Company. Please be aware that due to BEE-BEEP! KEG MONKEYS space considerations, some letters have been Issue 244 really made my week. Was wait- Just finished issue 243 and I was really edited and/or trimmed. — Jolly ing for me when I returned from a road trip taken by Gary Jackson’s Hobgoblins and keg and I read it cover to cover before going monkeys. Especially the footnote explaining SOCIAL BODY GUARD through my stack of mail. That should tell a bit about them. Is this actually a thing in you how eager I was to read it. HackMaster? Gunpowder using “Hobgobs” I love Sara. And god help me, I love Brian. Good lord, why don’t real life game with trained monkeys who deliver powder He’s a bastard but he’s so passionate about companies have shopping sprees like this? kegs down field? Sounds like crazy fun. If not games I can’t help but love him. My palms were sweating and my throat was are there any plans to write them up? I’m with the reader who wrote in saying tight with suspense when it occured to me Since I’m writing you already, I might as she was afraid the character of Brian might it’s a fictional company with fictional well add that my favorite part of Knights is be ‘wonked’ if he changed his ways too characters and fictional product. Heh. when players are fighting for their lives and much. I’d be filling my socks with mood dice as they are working as a team. I was so happy to see him going back into well. And you can bet I would have claimed Characters shouting out their actions,

HOW TO CONTACT US ^: Via ONLINE FORUM — Just pop over to www.kenzerco.com and visit our discussion forums 7: via E-MAIL — Send your strip ideas, reader mail, back room fodder and questions to [email protected] . via SNAIL MAIL — Or write to us at KODT c/o KenzerCo, 511 W Greenwood Ave., Waukegan, IL 60087 z: via TWITTER — Kenzerco FB: via Facebook — Kenzerco

Knights of the Dinner Table® #246 5 Sample file

A COMPLETE STAND ALONE STORY¡¡ into it fully here. Best way to experience it is to Elmore has been great keeping us stocked actually play it for a few minutes. If you’re with strips over the last three years or so but going to be at GenCon come by our booth for we’ve finally reached the bottom of the stack. a free 15 to 30 minute demo. And unfortunately, Larry’s schedule makes it But the answer is yes, most of the combat unlikely he’ll be doing more. scenes in the strips are inspired by our games But it was a great run and it was an honor at the table. I try to capture the same feel. having his work grace our zine each month. Jolly As for Hobgoblins, no, sorry there are no — HackMaster keg monkeys in . But— the CATCHING UP system lends itself to rule-tweaking so a GM could easily add them if he/she wants them. Fell behind on my issues of Knights but I’m Game on— Jolly not all caught up. So frustrating. I see I somehow missed your Aces and Eights Unloaded kickstarter. I had money ear SNARF QUEST marked for that one. Still kicking myself over Big fan of Knights of the Dinner Table it. I had eight issues worth of the comic to but I’m also a long time fan of Snarf Quest. read to get up to speed and wow, so much Hey Kids — We’re out of FLGS REPORTS. I drifted away from your comic for a few has happened. years. Not your fault, I sort of left gaming in Do you have a friendly local I laughed at Brian stuffing six pairs of game shop where you pick general. socks with dice more than I should have. But up your games, dice and When I got the itch again to toss dice, first when he commented he learned the trick monthly issues of KODT? thing I did was go round up some back issues from “Jim Wampler” I busted a gut. Well we’d like to hear about of KODT. That’s when I learned you have Oh really? Now there’s a story I need to ‘em. So would our readers. been running SQ. Hoody Hoo! Now, if you Snap some photos, hear or read. Which one of you is going to write a few words and can only get What’s New and Finieous tell it? Fingers in KODT. I will be a happy camper. send ‘em to the Editor! Great issue. Kind of sad when I read that I’ll be sending a check for a sub as soon as much of the story lines over the past year tactical discussion, friendly fire, arguments. I get settled. were originally meant to be part of the Live They resemble fire fights in military movies. Kenny M. 7 Action series. What a shame the guy who Really gets the adrenaline going. I was Welcome back, Kenny. Glad you found your ran that project pissed away reputation and curious if this is how HackMaster plays? way back to the gaming table and more the project with it. Still stings a bit. But it was great reading the stories in the comic Lastly, I want to say I enjoy the Snarf importantly to our magazine. Got some bad and imagining what that great cast would Quest strips. Really good to see them still in news forSample you though. file have done with it. print each month. Two of my favorite comics The last Snarf Quest strip in KODT will in one magazine. appear in issue #247 next month. Larry Oh, I bought the MASHED rpg based on your Editor’s Pick. You’ve never led me Hope to catch up with you guys at astray. Good stuff. Looking forward to run- GenCon and get my KODT #2 and #5 ning it. signed. I’m so close to having a complete each sock can carry upwards of TWO And damn, so sad that the Empty Chair collection. Just missing #1 at this point and HUNDRED FIFTY DICE — the odd ball variant printing of #4. But soon. tie the ends of TWO has been pulled out so many times as of late. together — FLING ‘em Even sadder because I am familiar with so Bruce Herring ^ over your shoulder like SAND BAGS. many of them. Can’t believe Loren Wiseman Glad you enjoy the comic, Bruce. is gone. And Rich Tucholka? HackMaster has a pretty intense combat little trick JIM WAMPLER Please keep that tradition going. I always system and yes, I’m very biased obviously. taught me... thought it was wonderful,the way it sort of What makes it somewhat unique is the fact it started without being planned. We all have uses a count-up system for combat (each friends we once gamed with who no longer count being 1 second). Anyone not suprised grace our table. And with all the political moves and take their action at the same time. arguments and derisiveness in our hobby, Fans of HackMaster are fond of pointing the Empty Chair reminds us that life is out “there’s no waiting for your turn”. short and that we should reexamine our Meaning every time the GM advances the priorities. Sorry to ramble. count you will see a half dozen hands or more I anxiously await 245. reach out to move minis. Obviously, I can’t get Leonard Day 7

Knights of the Dinner Table® #246 7 STEWART WIECK 1968 - 2017 esterday (June 22nd) my Ybrother Stewart Wieck died. He had just finished a light fencing workout and then fell over. All attempts to resuscitate him failed. It's still unknown what caused it; we'll know more in a few days. Something catastrophic in his heart perhaps. Stewart was 49, ate right, exercised, a specimen of good health... it's all just.. stunning that he could possibly, The Empty Chair suddenly be gone. Eulogy for a Gamer He was my brother, my best friend, my business partner since we started White Wolf in high school. He was an incredible human being, full of kindness and empathy, fun and artistic There is an empty chair, passion. at the table this day. I was supposed to grow old drinking and gaming with him. Now that will have to wait for heaven or Valhalla or whatever comes next. A hallowed place where, And of course, leave it to Stewart to die with a sword in his hand. a friend once played. No need for flowers, no memorial service has been arranged yet, we're just taking things a step at a time. The roll of his dice, Anyone involved with Stewart's publishing projects feel free to reach out my ears long to hear. to me in a few weeks.” — Steve Wieck Or perhaps it would suffice, EMPTY CHAIR: Condolences to his brother Steve and if he should suddenly appear. Stewart's family, and deep thanks all the joy STEWART WIECK With character sheet in hand, and entertainment he provided for so many I was heartbroken to learn of the sudden years. and a bag of passing of Stewart Wieck, the co-creator of Jenny R. 7 Cheeze-doodles to share. the World of Darkness and founder of White Wolf Game Studio. All his friends would stand, He wasSample a brilliant game filedesigner and as he sat in the empty chair. great human being. I'm especially sad for his mourning brother Steve Wieck, who has was I hear his voice a-callin’, a long time collaborator. Gaming wouldn't and it ties my heart in a knot. be gaming without the Wiecks, and it won't be the same without Stewart. For he cries, Todd Demy 7 “Though a comrade has fallen, RIP STEWART WIECK You must play for those who cannot.” Deeply saddened by the news of Stewart’s We conquered worlds on the run, passing. I can’t even begin to list the EMPTY CHAIR: company credits, design credits, writing SCOTT PATTERSON he and I in the name of fun. credits, and projects he had a hand in over Yesterday Scott Patterson died. I lost a And as others may come and go, the years. Not to mention the careers he friend of 18 years. He was a great guy and a helped launch. I make both friend and foe. gamer until the end. The game industry has just suffered an Brian Ledbetter ^ But what I long for most, incredible loss and as I write this it’s hard to OMEBREWED ULES is our past now long a ghost. take in. This one feels personal. H R He is one of the reasons I became (and Wanted to thank you for the home brewed Stewart Wieck remain) a gamer. He made it ‘cool’ to be a HackMaster rules in a recent issue. Namely role-player and easier to be counted as one. 1968 — 2017 the healing tweaks and kobold salve.

8 Knights of the Dinner Table® #246 Sweet! It convinced my gamemaster, Alan that YES, it’s okay to play under the hood and change things up. You know, Alan, like we used to do in Dungeons and Dragons? We adore HackMaster RAW (rules as written) for the most part but sometimes it’s fun to make the game adapt to YOUR needs known to be a jerk but I work 50+ hours a rather than the other way around. This is my week with little or no time to game. Which I vote for more such tweaks from other GMs would REALLY love to do. But I’m bone tired and players. by the time I get home and just don’t have Mark H. ^ the energy. I also work 3rd shift and wouldn’t be able to find a group to cater to Thanks for the feedback, Mark. If folks send my schedule if I wanted to. them in we will publish those that seem to have merit or might be of interest to readers. Knights of the Dinner Table is my connection to gaming and it helps keep hope — Jolly alive as I hope that someday my situation SOLO ADVENTURES MY LITTLE BRONIES will change and I can work less hours and begin doing things for myself again. I don’t know how much feedback you get Jolly, I have SO MUCH LOVE for the cover Sort of pisses me off a little bit to read on content but in case nobody ever tells you, of 244. The artist obviously is a true I LOVE the solo adventures. They are a lot of about some guy whining because he can’t fan/devotee. It was a tribute piece as fun on the commute. So more please. get his hands on a Player’s Handbook or opposed to a “haa haa let’s laugh at bronies” dice. Or that he can’t sit on his butt all day And while I’m on the subject, I realize they joke if you know what, I mean. are supposed to be simple, generic and not working on his campaign world. I’m sorry Knights too crunchy but it might be fun sometime if The were paired brilliantly. Had but I had to vent. Be responsible, work and you did one that actually used the Aces and to drop you a note to tell you it made my day. own your mistakes. How about that? I can Eights or HackMaster rules — just so Big brass ones by the way on running it. think of better causes you can devote your those of us between groups/GMs can play Good on everyone there at KenzerCo. time to. Just sign me annoyed in New York. and have a bit of fun. You could even tie in GreviousMaximus ^ Name withheld the NPC’s, magic items and traps you run each issue I have to say, there was some in house Well, that’s one opinion. While we received discussion. We are largely ignorant on the several letters of disapproval on that guest Keep up the good work. And oh, Brian subject but ultimately we trusted the artist. editorial, none expressed as much anger as doing all those good deeds for his friends I’ve been amazed at the letters like yours yours did. It’s worth mentioning that by and really got to me. I mean he made a real commentingSample on it. — Jolly file large the feedback was positive . — Jolly effort. That’s some major feels right there without being too sappy if you know what I PRISON GAMING HEALING GRENADE mean. I call total bull$##@ on the recent guest Game on, Will we every get the full story about B.A. editorial by the inmate advocating prisons to and the ‘healing grenade’. Don’t leave us Jack Short 7 allow more gaming behind bars. hanging, bra. Thanks for the feedback, Jack. You’ll be There’s a reason most prisons don’t allow Tedd ^ happy to know that a new solo adventure it — because you are not there for $33@ and Jolly appears in this very issue. giggles and to be entertained. You are there In a word... yes. ;) — Good suggestions on a special solo to repay your debt to society, think on the q adventure. Maybe someone will submit one. errors of your ways and hopefully come out — Jolly a better person. I’m not heartless and I’m not

REMINDER: REVIEW MATERIAL, KODT ART/ARTICLE SUBMISSIONS, LETTERS TO THE EDITOR GO TO: 309 S. Dilger Ave, Waukegan IL 60085

Knights of the Dinner Table® #246 9 Phone Home by jolly r. blackburn sunday morning at the GAMESPIT... brian’s still takin’ JUDAS PRIEST... INVENTORY — we brought out SO MUCH H-HOW IS whoah, bob — stuff we have to rent a THAT POSSIBLE? SLOW DOWN — TRAILER to haul it back. yer YAMMERIN’ you were only \ could ‘posed to be able HARDLY to take what you \ can HARDLY SLEEP could CARRY. understand a last night... WORD yer sayin’.

A TRAILER...? PETE — yer NEVER gonna wait - is this BELIEVE it.. we CLEANED about the UP!! SHOPPING SPREE...? \’ll EXPLAIN what’s later, pete that? you — \ gotta go. “CLEANED UP”..? what with ALL the commotion last night — the WAIT - what FIRE DEPARTMENT and ICE bob...? hello...? about the agents runnin’ around... HONOR MATCH...? * by MY watch GARY wanted BOB..?!! it should’ve to move the started TWO GAME back. KLICK¡¡ HOURS ago...

um —FIRE DEPARTMENT...? oh that...

it’s been delayed. OOHT — til NOON. gotta go, pete. sorry. gordo’s BACK with Sample file the U-HAUL..

meanwhile — 373 miles to the north

thanks for the GROUND did he say GUIDE, bob. “FIRE DEPARTMENT...? z

no problem buddy..

* See KODT 242: Get Me to the Game On Time — The Knights and the Four HackSmith’s are to battle it out for ownership Gary’s Magic items/command words — which were seized as war booty during the Pwn Brian Express incident.

10 Knights of the Dinner Table® #246