COMIC STRIPS ® KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE

PUBLISHER Kenzer and Company 9 Perspectives EDITOR-IN-CHIEF 12 A Dime Short... Jolly R. Blackburn • [email protected] ASSISTANT EDITOR 16 Moving Barbara Blackburn • [email protected] Violations KODT DEVELOPMENT TEAM 21 The Sting Jolly R. Blackburn • Steve Johansson David S. Kenzer • Brian Jelke • Barbara Blackburn (+1) 25 Moving Bodies HACKMASTER EDITOR Steve Johansson • [email protected] Hypothetically 30 KODT STRIP ART Jolly R. Blackburn Speaking... COVER ART Fraim Brothers 32 Spectators CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS One-Two Punches Brendon Fraim • Brian Fraim 63 Larry Elmore • Carolyn Stogdill Bill “Indy” Cavalier • Jolly Blackburn CONTRIBUTING WRITERS OTHER TOONS Kenneth Newquist • Tarquin Murnane • Martin Buinicki Noah Chinn • Barbara Blackburn • Jim Davenport 61 SnarfQuest™ Jolly R. Blackburn • Larry Elmore • Benjamin Lomax Larry Elmore J.L. Duncan • Alan Hume SALES/MARKETING/ADVERTISING 64 Additional Cartoons Steve Johansson • [email protected] • (847) 858-6847 SUBSCRIPTION SERVICES [email protected] CHARMED PERSONS Bill “Indy” Cavalier, Carolyn Stogdill, Jolly BlackburnSample file Kevin Vance • Jack Grayson • Craig Zipse

PRINTED IN U.S.A. Postmaster: Send address changes to: ABOUT Knights of the Dinner Table THE COVER 1659 N CLAREMONT AVE, CHICAGO, IL 60647 E-Mail: [email protected] • Phone: 847.858.6847 This month’s cover by World Wide Web: www.kenzerco.com the Fraim Brothers is a Submissions: We accept submissions for strip ideas, jokes, cartoons, parody of Frank etc. We are interested in running anything that other gamers and fans Frazetta’s classic would enjoy. Check out our website for writer’s guidelines. John Carter of Mars Subscriptions: A standard 12-issue monthly subscription is only piece, Dawn Attack. $77.99 (or $65.99 for slower bulk mail shipping). [US $92.99 for Canada or US $117.99 for other foreign locations.] 6- and 24-issue subscriptions are also available. To subscribe, order by credit card at our online store at HTTP://WWW.KENZERCO.COM or send a check or money order (made payable to Kenzer and Company) to: NIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE™ was accidentally created by Jolly R. Blackburn Kway back in 1990 as ‘filler’ for his small press magazine, . It was Kenzer & Company KODT Subscriptions, something of a ‘creative burp’ and Jolly really didn’t give it much thought. 1659 N Claremont Ave, Chicago, IL 60647 Perhaps that’s why he was just as surprised as anyone that soon KODT was overshadowing everything else he’d ever done and that the created was now Back Issues: Older issues and other KODT merchandise are avail- able for direct purchase on our website at HTTP://WWW.KENZERCO.COM controlling the creator. The Knights have gone far beyond anything Jolly or the D-Team (, Brian Jelke, Steve Johansson and Barbara Blackburn) ever imagined. In 2006, Jolly was ATTENTION RETAILERS: If you are having difficulty getting our inducted into the Hall of Fame. Now, with over 241 issues and over 72 trade paper backs under product (including back issues and RPGs) please call or e-mail us. their belts, it’s been a wild ride and we look forward to seeing where the Knights take us next.

Knights of the Dinner Table® #241 3 YIPPEE KI-YAY — RIDE ‘EM COWBOY!

e’re back — and we have some exciting news to If you’ve been following the ads or my posts on social media, convey. Over ten years ago, Kenzer and Company you now that not only is the Cattle Punk Chronicles: Outlaw Wreleased its alternative history old west role-playing game, Aces and Eights: Shattered Frontier. The game proved to Trail paperback available but the follow up, Cattle Punk be a big hit for the company. Not only did we sell through two Chronicles: The Four Herdsmen of the Apocalypse (featuring print runs of the leathered hard back (as well as the soft bounds) the Black Hands) is now available (both in full color pdf format but the game took the Origins Awards coveted category of “Best RPG of the Year” and traditional print format). As one of our best supported product lines, the game quickly But hold on to your hats. This spring the epic KODT trade paper- became a favorite for many gamers with copies of the out of print leathered core rule book fetching premium prices on eBay and back, Men that Hack: Tales from the Hack Files will hit both the Amazon. stands and our webstore. Over 140 pages of globe-trotting Unfortunately, because of the way the gaming industry distribu- mayhem as the Knights take on the world of espionage. tion system is set up, reprinting the core rule book once it sold out was cost prohibitive for a lower print run so new players have had And of course we have new volumes of Bundles of Trouble on to settle for the pdf version. the way, HackMaster adventures and the monthly magazine. So here’s the good news. Saddle up, partner. We’ve been quietly We’re excited about 2017 and the new product lines. After so working on a 2nd Edition of Aces and Eights for quite some time and it’s ready to saddle up once again. much hard work, it feels like the dam is about to burst. We’ve chosen to use kickstarter to fund this new edition Before turning you over to the issue in hand, a reminder that because it provides us an opportunity offer a wealth of supporting we’ll be appearing at several conventions in the coming months. material and tools for both the players and the gamemaster with out the usual restraints associated with a niche genre like the old I encourage you to seek us out. We’ll be running demos, (including west. As I write this the date for launch isn’t set in stone but this is Learn to Hacks and CharGen sessions) as well as adventures, your heads up to be on the look out for it. Be sure to follow us on seminars other events. We look forward to tossing dice with you. twitter, Facebook, Google+ or our online forums to get the latest information. Until next time, Game on! And may all your hits be crits!!! On other fronts, Hacklopedia Volume II is moving toward com- pletion. I’ve seen some sneak peeks for the dragon sectionSample as well file as some other critters the team has been keeping a lid on and it’s pretty PC-harrowing stuff. Remember, you dont’ have to wait for the printed hard bound tome to see and enjoy many of these new Jolly Blackburn monsters. You can pre-order the book now and immediately download the updated pdf and use them in your game today. January 20, 2016 But wait — there’s more.

Twenty Years Ago This Month: This strip appeared in the now defunct gaming magazine, TROLL. The Knights confront a troll guarding a bridge and fail.

4 Knights of the Dinner Table® #241 Sample file NINE ROLLS LATER... alright, DOOR STOP... GAWDAMN SIMIAN LUCK!!! you think how the \ HELL are this is OVER...? you STILL standing...? \’m CASHING in NOBODY ROLLS THAT MANY CARDS next turn.. CONSECUTIVE BOX CARS¡¡ \ will DESTROY your ASS!!! hrro! hroo!!

don’t SMIRK at me!

Thanks, Matt. It’s worth pointing out that the Glad you enjoyed the issue, Linda. I do plan on new trade paperbacks are also designed to be stand giving the Brian as GM arc the trade paperback alone and complete stories. With 27 years and over treatment at some point, but I’d like to give the EDITOR’S NOTE: The mail just never 240 issues under our belts, we realize a lot of new western genre a break for a bit. The next TPB will be seems to stop. While we make every potential readers can be a bit lost as to where to a HackNoia edition. Look for it this spring. — Jolly jump in — especially with the ongoing episodic effort to read each and every letter, it is SPACE HACK not always possible to give a personal nature of KODT. reply. Even if your letter doesn’t happen to be Bag Wurld Saga, Java Joint and the two Big fan of Knights of the Dinner Table. I published or if you don’t get a direct response, rest Cattle Punk Chronicles make excellent books to have been reading for years. Some of my favorite assured you are being heard. jump into the fray (and they also make GREAT gifts. strips were the old Space Hack strips. Seems to Remember, KODT is an interactive hint hint.). — Jolly me it’s been a good long while since any of the magazine. We want you, the reader, to be involved. groups have played it. Seeing how you are So keep your suggestions, thoughts and opinions KODT 239 approaching the big 250th issue later this year, I’d (constructive and otherwise) coming. Opinions Good selection of strips. The big match with like to propose you do some Space Hack material. expressed by readers are not necessarily shared by Hard Eight appears to be close and the BlackHands Been enjoying the Black Hand strips in the the editor or Kenzer and Company. Please be aware have a tempSample player. file you forget how to SHAVE...? that due to space considerations, some letters have I love how Cody is playing an been edited and/or trimmed. — Jolly under cover character. The out come it’s a LOOK - what’s the big deal...? should be very entertaining. yeah — it’s a “LOOK” alright. goes CATTLE PUNK CHRONICLES: And oh my god, poor Bob. I want WELL with the WIFE BEATER tee. FOUR HERDSMEN to give him a hug. The awkward encounter with Shee was heart my LAUNDRY hasn’t you puttin’ come back — a’ight? * on WEIGHT...? Picked up the new trade paperback the other breaking. I’m warning you Kenzer day. Yippe Kai Yai Yaay!! Did not expect all the folk, those two better end up back you got new material. Loads of fun. together (shakes fist). a little PAUNCH I think one of the biggest laughs I had was Oh and I appreciated the sneak there. Squirrely spanking Stevil at Risk. I do hope you preview on the new Cattle Punk continue doing these director-cuts of the old story book. Loved the first one and plan on arcs. They make for great reading. picking this one up. (Please do one Happy Gaming! with the Brian as GM strips). JungleMatt 7 Linda R. 7

HOW TO CONTACT US ^: Via ONLINE FORUM — Just pop over to www.kenzerco.com and visit our discussion forums 7: via E-MAIL — Send your strip ideas, reader mail, back room fodder and questions to [email protected] . via SNAIL MAIL — Or write to us at KODT c/o KenzerCo, 511 W Greenwood Ave., Waukegan, IL 60087 z: via TWITTER — jollybgood FB: via Facebook — Jolly Blackburn

6 Knights of the Dinner Table® #241 FAT DRAGON GAMES 3D PRINTABLE MODELS nyone who has followed me on social media over the past year knows that I finally dipped my Atoe into the world of 3D printing in a big way. As my friend Tom Tullis has been fond of saying for a few years now, “It’s the future!!” And right he is. The costs of a decent 3D printer is now below $300 making them more accessible than ever. Best of all there are a TON of 3D printable files out there for gamers. Both free and low cost files such as those from Fat Dragon Games. Many of you are familiar with FDG from their beautiful print/cut and fold paper terrain products they’ve been producing for years. But Fat Dragon Games also does 3D printable terrain and in my Une Chaise Vide opinion the are among the best on the market. And they’ve got it all covered. Dungeons, Village build- ings, traps, coffins, grates and on and on. (Eulogy for a Gamer) And MORE 3D magic being added every Voilà qu’il y a une chaise vide month. Prices are outstanding and the sculpts are amazing. À notre table aujourd’hui. If you are even remotely intrigued Cet endroit béni, about 3D printing and have an interest in Où un ami joua de nombreuses nuits. table top terrain, I encourage you to check out Fat Dragon Game’s website Je rêve d’entendre de nouveau at www.fatdragongames.com. Le son de ses dés qui roulent. Jolly Peut-être suffirait-il Qu’il réapparaisse soudain. Il aurait sa fiche de perso à la main Et un sachet de croustilles à partager. Ses amis debout pour l’acclamer, Il s’assiérait sur la chaise vide. Sample file J’entends sa voix m’appeler Et cela me fend le cœur. recent issues. The addition to Cody to the table Of course it did not end well when someone has been a lot of fun. What a sneaky bastard. accidentally drank from the soda can he was using Car il crie “Bien qu’un Rooting for B.A.’s group to stomp the Hard as a spit can. ;) Glad you are enjoying the comic. camarade soit tombé, Eight group in the upcoming match. — Jolly Vous devez jouer pour Keep up the good work. EMPTY CHAIR ceux qui ne le peuvent pas.” 7 Howard C. Dear Jolly, Nous avons conquis des mondes au pas de charge THANK YOU! Since you mentioned the "Eulogy for a Gamer" was copyright-free, we translated it Lui et moi, juste pour s’amuser. Thank you for the monthly KODT joy! It bright- into French recently. Amis, ennemis : d’autres viendront. ens my day when I see the new issue in the mail! At least 2 persons shared it privately, so Ils resteront ou s’en iront. Do you think a submission about a gamer's I suppose it appealed to them too. struggle with quitting chewing tobacco would Mais ce qui me manque vraiment, ever see the magazine? I know walking around Thank you (and B. Jelke) for having created C’est notre passé à jamais éteint. Gen Con with a spitter was a drag, and I am so this piece. Readers can find and share it here; glad I quit nearly 3 years ago. http://ptgptb.fr/la-chaise-vide 7 Tumblewort Jenkins ^ Regis Pannier Thank you, Tumblewort. I did do a strip years ago Thanks, Regis. Nice to know the sentiment is q where Dave began chewing tobacco to get more in universal.— Jolly the feel of his Cattle Punk character.

Knights of the Dinner Table® #241 7 Sample file

A COMPLETE STAND ALONE STORY¡¡ Perspectives by jolly r. blackburn

somewhere in northern illinois on the ROAD to wisconsin... oh it sounds \ can’t BELIEVE good — but APPLE nitro ALLOWED it. BLOSSOM was it does seem like a PIXIE FAIRY... she hold on — let that’s the CRAZIEST a pretty SWEET couldn’t CONTROL me get this thing \ ever heard. thing for a MAGE. the DARN thing sTRAIGHT. you had \ mean DAMN — to KILL your OWN that FAMILIAR FAMILIAR...? rocked ASS!!

especially during RUTTING season — an OWLBEAR when owlbears are PRONE to FAMILIAR...? dude RAGE-FRENZIES. — that’s the stuff DREAMS are made of.

broke my HEART \ don’t care HOW you when \ had to HIRE well, between SEBASTIAN’S paint it, GORDO. the guys to have him refusal to take a BIT and SADDLE PUT DOWN. -sniff- and APPLE BLOSSOM’s phobia it was an OPPORTUNITY but \ had no choice. of LARGE PREDATORS, it just squandered. ME..?!! wasn’t an IDEAL match.

\ would’ve MADE it work — somehow.

oh — \ seems a little TRIED that... EXTREME — why not just FREE the animal..? Sample file

\ took him out in the woods and tried SHOOING him away. he took GREAT \ had a HILL GIANT OFFENSE to that. so what FAMILIAR once — happened...? years ago in a CAMPAIGN weird though \ suppose pete was running. it WAS a violation of the BOND \ had to let him go. between mage the UPKEEP was and FAMILIAR. KILLING me. \ had to hire FOUR WAGONS for his FEED and GEAR,

\ lost a WING and ONE LEG below the KNEE. spent TWO WEEKS in a FAERIKIN COMA fighting REGENERATING.

* See KODT#240: The Golden Ticket Holders are heading to the Hard Eight Offices to play HackMaster with the Hard Eight Staff and to partici- pate in the free Shopping Spree afterwards. In addition, the Knights of the Dinner Table have an Honor Match scheduled with Gary and the Four Hacksmiths.

Knights of the Dinner Table® #241 9 MONGO...? \ remember him. \ had no CHOICE. it was by COURT man — \ haven’t thought ORDER. sebastian of him for YEARS. took out an ENTIRE but at LEAST \ had VILLAGE — in one the decency not to of his “FRENZIES” he sure made “PUT HIM DOWN.” TOWN ADVENTURES yeah — \ still interesting. feel some GUILT — and his SAD sendin’ him FACE — when he away like couldn’t go in \ did. the way the DUNGEONS he kept with us. LOOKING back.

took me THREE YEARS of GAME TIME to pay off the DAMAGES and make RESTITUTION.

hey THIN — how you \ had a funny how a DREAM can make things RAW again... \ know EXACTLY holdin’ out..? you still STUPID what you mean. down in the DUMPS? DREAM guess \ last night... especially when couple of weeks it comes to took it as an ago, \ had a her not that she MATTERs of DREAM about thinkin’ on the omen. SHOWIN’ up SAW me off. the HEART. TEFLON BILLY... LITTLE WOMAN. to wish me luck..

sort of gave my gut a twist.

Sample file

yer gonna be FINE, dude!! that WHOLE bit of BAD BUSINESS at TULLY’S FORD replayed in it. \ was in a FUNK for the NEXT two nothin’ CURES the blues like a days thinkin’ on FISTFUL of DICE and takin’ H-PEES what COULD have been. and EXPERIENCE while wadin’ only instead of that FUMBLE on through a line of FOES!! the SPELL MISHAP comin’ up... so yeah — \ just THINK of can EMPATHIZE. how many people \ rolled a SIX. a measely SIX!! it IS going to be an wanted in but it was ENOUGH to EVENTFUL weekend. on those avoid his DEATH and the GOLDEN TICKETS. pursuant TPK that went down.

^ “you took the day off to CREATE your character? —B.A. Felton, KODT Issue #114, Bring It

10 Knights of the Dinner Table® #241