COMIC STRIPS ® KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE

PUBLISHER Kenzer and Company 10 Not Playin’ Around EDITOR-IN-CHIEF 14 Full Disclosure Jolly R. Blackburn • [email protected] ASSISTANT EDITOR 21 After Report Barbara Blackburn • [email protected] 23 Feed the Worm KODT DEVELOPMENT TEAM Jolly R. Blackburn • Steve Johansson 26 Awkward David S. Kenzer • Brian Jelke • Barbara Blackburn (+1) 29 Birthright HACKMASTER EDITOR Steve Johansson • [email protected] 63 One-Two Punches KODT STRIP ART Jolly R. Blackburn COVER ART Luke Ahearn CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS Brendon Fraim • Brian Fraim Larry Elmore • Carolyn Stogdill Bill “Indy” Cavalier • Ken Harrison • Cheesepaws OTHER TOONS CONTRIBUTING WRITERS 61 SnarfQuest™ Kenneth Newquist • Scott R. Krol Larry Elmore Noah Chinn • Barbara Blackburn • Benjamin Lomax Jolly R. Blackburn • Larry Elmore • 64 Additional Cartoons J.L. Duncan • Alan Hume SALES/MARKETING/ADVERTISING Bill “Indy” Cavalier, Carolyn Stogdill, Steve Johansson • [email protected] • 847-858-6847 Cheesepaws, Ken Harrison SUBSCRIPTION SERVICES [email protected] CHARMED PERSONS Sample file Kevin Vance • Jack Grayson • Craig Zipse

PRINTED IN U.S.A. Postmaster: Send address changes to: Knights of the Dinner Table ABOUT 1659 N CLAREMONT AVE, CHICAGO, IL 60647 THE COVER E-Mail: [email protected] • Phone: 847.662.6600 World Wide Web: www.kenzerco.com Luke Ahearn turned Submissions: We accept submissions for strip ideas, jokes, cartoons, in this Star Wars: etc. We are interested in running anything that other gamers and fans Rogue One parody. would enjoy. Check out our website for writer’s guidelines. Subscriptions: A standard 12-issue monthly subscription is only $77.99 (or $65.99 for slower bulk mail shipping). [US $92.99 for Canada or US $117.99 for other foreign locations.] 6- and 24-issue subscriptions are also available. To subscribe, order by credit card at our online store at HTTP://WWW.KENZERCO.COM or send a check or money order (made payable to Kenzer and Company) to: NIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE™ was accidentally created by Jolly R. Blackburn Kway back in 1990 as ‘filler’ for his small press magazine, . It was Kenzer & Company KODT Subscriptions, something of a ‘creative burp’ and Jolly really didn’t give it much thought. 1659 N Claremont Ave, Chicago, IL 60647 Perhaps that’s why he was just as surprised as anyone that soon KODT was overshadowing everything else he’d ever done and that the created was now Back Issues: Older issues and other KODT merchandise are avail- able for direct purchase on our website at HTTP://WWW.KENZERCO.COM controlling the creator. The Knights have gone far beyond anything Jolly or the D-Team (, Brian Jelke, Steve Johansson and Barbara Blackburn) ever imagined. In 2006, Jolly was ATTENTION RETAILERS: If you are having difficulty getting our inducted into the Hall of Fame. Now, with over 239 issues and over 71 trade paper backs under product (including back issues and RPGs) please call or e-mail us. their belts, it’s been a wild ride and we look forward to seeing where the Knights take us next.

Knights of the Dinner Table® #239 3 LET ME PUT MY PIMPIN’ CAP ON... tend to talk about KODT, the characters and stories within when turning my attention to this page. I like to do the editori- Ial last. The stress is largely gone from chasin’ the deadline rab- bit. And there’s the warm glow of satisfaction of having wrestled another issue into its cage. This issue however — I want to blantantly pimp a cool line of new products that have been popping up on our webstore (www.kenzerco.com). For as long as I’ve been role-playing, one thing I’ve always been on the search for are good casualty/death minis. As both a GM and a Player, I find it satisfying putting dead bodies out on the table as the PC’s (or the Monsters) cut a swath of death and mayhem across the battle mat.

In addition to Casualty Counters we also have a new product for helping the GM to simulate faceless crowds as well as indvidu- als in the distance or shadows who haven’t been fully identified by players. These are stand up silhouettes (currently 25 unique figures) on bases. I used these in a game recently and they were very effective in giving players a sense of being on a crowded street. If a particular ‘faceless figure’ attracts attention and a player indicates he/she is taking a closer look...? The GM replaces the the silhouette with an I found quite a few over the years, but they were relatively actual mini. pricey, didn’t always fit the theme of the game we were playing Again, it’s the sort of thing you have to see in play to fully and well — hard to gather in sufficent quantities toSample cover the appreciate. file amount of carnage often seen at our table. I wanted to devote some time on this page this issue to point Simply tipping over minis as characters/monsters isn’t particu- out these new products. If you are interested in learning more, hop larly good for the their paint jobs, but also they present obstacles on over to our webstore where we have full color photos and that other minis can’t stand or move through easily. I don’t want to other information. overstate the problem like they do in those infomercials, but I think it’s been a hassle for many of us for a long time. Okay, pimp hat is off. Especially in games like HackMaster where opponents can fight I hope you enjoy the issue in hand. And as always — may all on top of dead bodies during melee (suffering negative modifiers your hits be crits. to attack/defense and movment). A little awkward standing a mini on that bugbear mini that was just flipped over. We’ve used coins, markers and other items as death markers Jolly Blackburn over the years. And those work — but don’t make much of an impression visually. Enter Kenzerco’s Casualty Counters. November 20, 2016 These flat plastic, handpainted pieces come in a varitety of sizes (small, medium, large, etc). Inspired by murder scene chalk line drawings they are abstract silohuettes of wounded, dead and dying individuals. One side is splattered with red ‘blood’. The other side is blank. During play, the GM places the casualty counter blank side up — indicating that the actual status of that character is unknown. Once checked, coup-de-graced or searched for loot — the GM flips it over bloodied side up to indicate known status. Being flat, with a low profile allows other minis to easily stand on ‘the bodies’. They also have the advantage of being relatively cheap and store easily in a bag.

4 Knights of the Dinner Table® #239 OH NICE TRY — bob’s roll STANDS. oh - but the FINE PRINT does the LAST seat for the clearly states, it...? GOLDEN TICKET is his. “must be played z z “BEFORE THE DICE are rolled.”

my bad. oh no — SORRY. just HAND it back it’s been down then. PLAYED... RIP¡¡ NO LONGER VALID.

Pete and Stevil seem to be more allies of posed to be in the Guess game and not under- convenience and Gordo... standing why people were laughing at him. Gordo seems to like all of them but I don't get Oh my God, I’ll never be able to look at him the feeling that Newt and Stevil like him at all. again without laughing and thinking, “me-me- me-me...” Right up there with Patty’s “Mommy, EDITOR’S NOTE: The mail just never Patty's commanding moment on page 21 was a Mommy, I wet myself....” ringtone. seems to stop. While we make every lot of fun. effort to read each and every letter, it is Sky Tower 7 Keep up the good work. not always possible to give a personal Janis J. 7 reply. Even if your letter doesn’t happen to be published or if you don’t get a direct response, rest ISSUE 237 assured you are being heard. I got my issue today, and I really enjoyed the Remember, KODT is an interactive stories. (The Walking Dead cover coincided nice- magazine. We want you, the reader, to be involved. ly with the show's latest season premiere.) Who So keep your suggestions, thoughts and opinions knew that Bob would have some real-life thieves’ (constructive and otherwise) coming. Opinions skills? expressed by readers are not necessarily shared by I was surprised that Sara was the one who'd be the editor or Kenzer and Company. Please be aware Sample file watching Brian's back as his "social bodyguard" to that due to space considerations, some letters have SEPERATED AT BIRTH...? get him to rejoin the world of gaming. In the past, been edited and/or trimmed. — Jolly Issue 237 had me laughing myself silly. So it's almost always been the "Untouchable Trio" of many great moments. Good to see the Black Bob, Dave, and Brian working together, with 237 Hands tossing dice. Sara's objections being overruled or completely ignored. Just got mine today and I loved the editorial on The match is approaching. The Golden Ticket friendship. I have to wonder though where some- trip is looming. Goodness it’s been a great arc — Then again, Sara is the member of the Knights one like Newt falls? Or Stevil for that matter. stretching all the way back to the Pwn Brian the most aware of the real world, so it makes sense she'd be the one best equipped to warn While the Knights do really like each other, I've Express. Brian that gaming isn't everything and to steer never gotten that sort of vibe from the Black And Hooray!!! Brian admits to his faults and at him away from plots and schemes that benefit Hands. least agrees on working on himself with Sara as him while hurting others. In fact, thinking of the gaming groups in his ‘social body guard’ (such a funny concept by As for Moe leaving, I can't remember she was a Muncie I think the Black Hands have the least the way — more gamers could use one). significant character in a strip, so I can't say I was amount of friendship or camaraderie of them all. The spray coke out of my nose moment in this upset by her departure. Weird Pete and Nitro have a friendship, but Weird issue was B.A. failing to realize who he was sup- Jimthered ^

HOW TO CONTACT US ^: Via ONLINE FORUM — Just pop over to www.kenzerco.com and visit our discussion forums 7: via E-MAIL — Send your strip ideas, reader mail, back room fodder and questions to [email protected] . via SNAIL MAIL — Or write to us at KODT c/o KenzerCo, 511 W Greenwood Ave., Waukegan, IL 60087 z: via TWITTER — jollybgood FB: via Facebook — Jolly Blackburn

Knights of the Dinner Table® #239 5 LYNCH REPORT moved by Moe leaving: It feels like she hasn't been in the comic for a while (neither have Patty's 236 & 237 Perps) and she's ending on a good note, with a Greetings! I love the comic book covers -- keep pretty good life outside of Gaming. 'em coming! Also, when the drama with Brian I suspect she'll give her Golden Ticket to and the showdown with the Hacksmiths gets Crutch, as he seems to be the player who's come wrapped up, I'd love to see the Knights playing the furthest personally as a new gamer to a sup- superheroes again. Anyway... porter of others. 226 — Kudos to Brian for finally making And who'd have guessed that Sara would be amends. Instead of offering in-game rewards the one to be Brian's social bodyguard? Then that have no parallel in the real world, he's given again, while Bob and Dave always seem to sup- the folks he wronged what they wanted and/or port Brian's win-at-all-cost schemes, Sara's the needed: money for B.A. and Sara, and Bob's one who always tries to get beyond his schemes The Empty Chair favorite and formerly lost die. (Sadly, it's some- and remind him that winning isn't the only thing. what typical for Dave to think he got shafted Hopefully Brian's contrition means he'll actually Eulogy for a Gamer when he made out like a bandit.) listen to her! It really looks like Brian has finally started lis- James Lynch 7 There is an empty chair, tening to what his friends want instead of looking at the table this day. for an angle to exploit, and I hope the "road trip" EMPTY CHAIR A hallowed place where, from the other Knights works and he comes back William "John" Lewis, a wargamer, model rail- in the fold. Plus he'd be invaluable when playing roader, plastic modeler, avid historian, but most of a friend once played. Dawg! all, rabid role-playing gamer, left our table for the I also hope Bob gets back with Sheila and gets last time on the morning of 15 October, after a The roll of his dice, his act together; the last thing the world needs is short, violent battle with cancer. my ears long to hear. another Weird Pete! Bob has really been letting He ran and played in a wide variety of role-play- Or perhaps it would suffice, himself go, which hardly helps when finding a job ing games since well before the earliest days of so he can afford to live on his own. our friendship (which itself stretched back 35 if he should suddenly appear. 237 — It's amazing timing that KODT had a years), playing up until just before his hospitaliza- Walking Dead parody cover, and my issue tion. John possessed that happy combination of With character sheet in hand, arrived right before the latest season began! Plus being both big-hearted and open-minded, bring- and a bag of Sara finally got to decapitate Brian... ing his enthusiasm to any game in which he Cheeze-doodles to share. This was another terrific issue with a great vari- played, regardless of which side of the GM screen ety of storylines covered. Seeing B.A., Sara, Dave, he sat. JohnSample was ready to play just file about anything All his friends would stand, and Bob visit Brian's house to check on the Big and often did. as he sat in the empty chair. Guy was both touching and humorous. Who As a player, John always pushed the limits with knew that Bob had some real-world thieving his characters, really immersing himself in them I hear his voice a-callin’, skills? Too bad he got hit with some ink packs: His and running some memorably quirky ones over appearance had already been going downhill. the years. As a GM, he ran games with strong nar- and it ties my heart in a knot. The most laughs in this issue came from the rative threads and lots of NPC characterization For he cries, Black Hands. As usual, we had Newt acting that made one feel like one was sitting in on a pretty much solo, Gordo being naive and picked combination story-writing and method acting “Though a comrade has fallen, on, and Weird Pete and Stevil plotting together class. John welcomed all comers to his table and You must play for those who cannot.” against Newt. always brought out their best. He never lost his awe at the power of role-playing games and never We conquered worlds on the run, This also had some of the funniest lines of the lost his enthusiasm for them. issue ("Nothin' worse than a pixie fairy with the he and I in the name of fun. hershey squirts," "That's tall talk for a halfling"). I John was warm, gregarious and generous to a And as others may come and go, can also see both sides of their dispute: Newt's fault. He was well-loved by us, his gaming group character would certainly be looted and slaugh- and friends, and we all will miss him both at and I make both friend and foe. tered if run by the other Black Hands, but Newt's away from the gaming table. But what I long for most, trip also delayed the game by a few weeks. Let's During a late-night conversation back in 1982 see what happens with the hired replacement. when John was running the old (well, not so old, is our past now long a ghost. Looks like Patty's roll-off worked out well for then...) Fantasy Games Unlimited game everyone (except Earl). Oddly, I wasn't that Bushido, we both had an "Aha!" moment when one of us realized that a level and character class- William “John” Lewis October 15, 2016 6 Knights of the Dinner Table® #239 amehole IV was a wonderful time. As always, this convention and its staff continue to amaze, amuse Gand entertain gamers. It was hard to believe this convention is only in its fourth year of life. Alex Kammer and his crew of mad men and women run one of the best organized cons we’ve ever attended. For a new(ish) venue it has an old feel of familiarity. Growing by leaps and bounds, it has managed thus far to keep the charm and intimacy we love. This year more events and guests than ever were added to Madison, Wisconsion the line up — including True Dungeon! If you get a chance to attend Gamehole in 2017 — do it. November 3 -5 2017 Obviously, I can’t say enough good things about it. We hope to be back. — Jolly.

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Knights of the Dinner Table® #239 7 what a GREAT WAY to CATCH UP MAKES A Get 1, 2 or 3 years of KoDT and COMPLETE GREAT GIFT your COLLECTION!!! for the back issues in a single box. GAMER in your LIFE!! 1 Year $34.99 2 Years $49.99 3 Years $59.99 bit.ly/backissuemadness

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THIS DEAL WONʼT LAST LONG — HURRY!! This Month’s Focus: THE WAR HOUSE 630 West Willow Street teven Luckey, a founding GAMA member, opened his legendary Long Beach shop in 1976, and this year he's celebrating its fortieth anniversary. The War House shared space with the Long Beach, CA 90806 S now defunct Balboa Game Company (H-Hour, Dragoon vs. Hussar, The Complete Phone: (562) 424-31805 Warlock) until the 1980's and twice served as a location for episodes of Blind Date. They have over www.thewarhouselongbeach.com twenty thousand items on hand, and the helpful staff can find or order almost anything. They sell RPGs, CCGs, miniatures, wargames, historical books, board games, out of print games and fresh Hours: sodas. Mon - Fri: 11 am - 7 pm Sixteen seats grace the two tables in the main room, and they have more tables in back. The Sat: 10 am - 6 pm store closes early, but see their schedule for late night casual games of Magic, Pathfinder, X-Wing, Sun: 12 pm - 6 pm Warmachine, Warhammer 40k, Age of Sigmar, Hordes, Malifaux, Dicemaster, Heroclix and Yu-Gi-Oh!Sample– Paul Madison q file based game set in medieval Japan actually made So many great moments it’s hard to single any Glad you enjoyed the trade paperback, Sid. Yes, sense! We shared many more such moments over out but I did enjoy seeing the “Early Years” with we are planning on doing the Brian/Cattlepunk the years and those, too, will be missed. the previioulsy unpublished/new material strips in the future — but first I’d like the chance to It's time to run The Empty Chair, for John. showing Johnny Kizinski at the table. pace and revisit one of the early classic arcs. The HackNoia/Men that Hack strips comes to mind Wherever the table is that you now game, John, Also enjoyed learning more about Red Gurdy and is the one I’m currently eyeing. roll aces! Picken’s origins (just a random sunuvabitch NPC). Also, the Space Hacks strips. But we’ll see. With Bill Rutherford 7 Pete faithfully holding B.A.’s Cattlepunk material back for years put me in mind of him 26 years of material there certainly is no shortage of Jolly q CATTLEPUNK CHRONICLES: saving, Brian’s GM dice when Brian gave up options. — OUTLAW TRAIL GMing. Good ol’ Pete. Anyway, I am really looking forward to the next Absolutlely fantastic compilation, folks. all the CattlePunk Chronicles with the Blackhands. I classic western strips mixed in with tons of new do hope you eventually run the strips with Brian material. Even better, the original strips have been running the game. Those are among my favorites threaded together to form a nice, cohesive contin- and seeing those expanded and given the ‘direc- ious storyline. The entire thing feels like a novel. tor’s cut’ treatment would really make my year. So I guess ‘graphic novel’ fits nicely. Any plans to do any of the other story arcs the This would be a great book to give to gamers same way? Like Carvin’ Marvin and Tremble? The who haven’t read KODT or who have but have Doomsday Pack?Keep up the good work, Kenzer. fallen behind and don’t know where to jump in. Sid Williams 7

Knights of the Dinner Table® #239 9 Not Playin’ Around by jolly r. blackburn

recap: PATTY has been asked by B.A. to \ took the SPAYED/NEUTERED flaw — and run the KNIGHTS through a “DRY RUN” STACKED that with CONGENITAL DEFECT — of DAWG THE RPG in preparation for BAD HIPS and PROCLIVITY TO KIDNEY FAILURE. thier UPCOMING match with HARD EIGHT... normally, \’d AVOID those like the PLAGUE, but hell \’m only TWO YEARS OLD — those flaws won’t \ must thanks — \ had kick in til \’m 8 to ten years of age — WELL say, \’m very to get CREATIVE after the TIME FRAME of the match. heh. IMPRESSED, bob. to find those EXTRA points. that gave me an very nice, bob.. you managed to extra 300 b-pee’s thatta boy, bob. SQUEEZE an incredible \ really to work with. ARRAY of skills and DUG DEEP... ATTACK/DEFENSE advantages from the alloted BUILDING POINTS.

\ took some RISKS — choosin’ to roll \ like my character well enough \ didn’t think it would be on the GAME LEG — \ suppose — went with MASTIFF. THAT much of a HANDICAP... subtables allowed me to buy but \ got BONED - \ rolled the 3 movement is gonna STEADY NERVE and ONE hind leg is four suck though — \ REALLY HEIGHTENED inches shorter than the other. wish we had had more time. INTIMIDATION for my CHALLENGE BARK. dammit, dave — 3 MOVEMENT...?!! dude - going to the RIGHT offered so you stayed to dude, how the hell do omigawd... MANY more points. the left on you have a 3 movement? those tables. right...? oh for cryin’ out loud.

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dave — if THIS was the ACTUAL MATCH instead of a we TOLD ya to stay PRACTICE RUN — You could have COMPLETELY screwed out of the right column us over. — you’re TASKED for providing the MUSCLE. on the SUBTABLES!! a TANK made of DOG FLESH — but you can HARDLY walk...? STAY OUT OF THERE!!! guys - \’m sorry. maybe \ should switch to you NEVER wanna and suffering from MUSCLE for the match. FREQUENT URINATION. go to those columns. \ made some BAD choices. move dave back to dude yer an ANCHOR! the role of SCOUT. a SPEED BUMP with MANGE! we DRILLED on that.

^ “my word, this man is a SUPERB role-player. where ever did you find him? \ haven’t seen this caliber of acting, locally, since PATTY GAUZWEILER’S portrayal of TANIS JUDIQUE in the FORT WAYNE CIVIC THEATRE’S production of sinclair lewis’ BABBIT last summer.” —Cody Winkle, Bundle of Trouble #11, Then Came Cody

10 Knights of the Dinner Table® #239