The American Gay & Lesbian Atheist·
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_-=-----1:C _ December 1992 THE AMERICAN GAY & LESBIAN Volume 10 Number 12 ATHEIST· HAPPY WINTER SOLSTICE ISSUE HANUKKAH HOLIDAYS burning animals into smoke for Jahweh (Jehovah) to smell From a Dial-An-Atheist message by Frank Zindler and "get off' on. To make the atomic structure of the altar On Wednesday, December 16, 1987 [Sunday, just right for this purpose, the altar was "dedicated" with December 20, 1992, this year], the Jewish answer to singing and harping and twanging on lyres and pounding on Christmas begins -- the eight-day-Iong feast of Hanukkah. cymbals -- for eight days. That's "Hanukkah," pronounced with a khhht! ... (oops, According to a myth in the Talmud, after retaking let's wipe that off). It is also known as the "Feast of Lights. " the temple, the Jews found a cruse of consecrated oil in the On that day, or after sundown on the night before, religious temple. How they could tell that all the molecular orbitals Jews will light one of the branches of a special menorah, or of the oil molecules were still in order and not been candelabrum. Each day thereafter, another branch will be "defiled" or "desecrated" is not recorded. By nothing less lit, until eight are burning. Among the heart-stoppingly than a miracle, they just knew that the oil was still properly exciting things Jews get to do during this "festival" is join sacred. Only enough oil was left, supposedly, to keep the together in singing the old favorite "Naos Tzur,' the so-called "Eternal Light" burning for one day. Since the so- Hebrew equivalent of "Rock of Ages." While Christian called "Eternal Light" had already gone out, showing it to kids and pagari kids get to play with Darth Vader.Star- Wars ?ave been a fake all along, it's hard to understand what good toys, computer games and chemistry sets, Jewish children It would do to light it up again. But light it up again they did. are allowed to whoop it up with a dreidl, a four-sided top on And wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, it burned for which is inscribed a mnemonic for "A great miracle hap- eight days. Without so much as ever checking to see if pened there!" Zowie! I wonder if Jewish children even someone had jimmied the carburetor to get better oil know what a mnemonic is! Christian kids don't. mileage, the Jews proclaimed it a miracle. And to this day, Jewish holidays, like Christian ones, are gerierally based upon an absurdity. The absurdity in this case is the following story: . In 164 B.C.E.(Before the Current Era), Jews led by Judas Maccabaeus recaptured the temple in Contents Jerusalem, which had been held by Syrian Greeks who had converted it to the cause of pagan worship. According to the superstitious beliefs of the Jews, this somehow had "de- A Frank Zindler Message 1 filed" the temple. Just how the atomic structure of the stone Gays in the News 2 in the altar may have been altered by this alleged defilement Clinton's ReligiousTies 5 is not known. PrehistoricHomo-Sex 6 According to the first book of Maccabees, this profanation of the stone altar was so serious that the old altar BuHholeof the Month 6 ha~ ~obe dismantled and hidden away on the temple mount, Madonna & "Sex" 7 waitmg for a prophet who could give an oracle telling what IRS Warns Churches 7 to do with it. The bus from Jericho being delayed indefi- PriestShortage 8 nitely, no prophet ever showed up, so they had to build a The "New"Catechism 8 completely new altar for burnt offerings -- using only uncut stones, of course, just as the Torah requires. To cut stones The Open Forum 10 with stone-cutter's tools would somehow remove the magi- HAPPYWINTERSOLSTICE!!! cal potency of the stone and render it wholly unsuitable for American Gay & Lesbian Atheists . page # 1 they hold it up as though it were serious competition to a tian bigots. Does that come as any surprise to you? virgin birth of a child which was male instead of female (as Voters in Portland, Maine, let an ordinance protect- genetics would require), or a rival of the truly cosmic ing gay rights stand, while Tampa, Florida, moved toward conjuration known as the Star of Bethlehem -- a star located repeal of a gay-rights ordinance there (Gannett Suburban neither at the north nor south celestial poles, but which News, 11/4/92). nevertheless could be "followed" by men supposedly smarter Of all the places where gay rights was a specific than your average Boy Scout, a star which could appear to issue, none was more vicious than the furor over Amend- have stopped over one gu y' s house, but not over the dumpster ment 2 in the state of Colorado, endorsed by 53.4 percent of behind his house and across the alley. the state's voters. Amendment 2 alters the Constitution of the state of Colorado in this manner: MERRY WINTER SOLSTICE December 25, by the Julian calendar, was the No protected status based on homosexual, Winter Solstice. This day, originally regarded by the pagans lesbian or bisexual orientation. Neither as the day of the nativity of the sun, the shortest day of the the State of Colorado, through any of its year -- when the light began its conquering battle against branches or departments, nor any of its darkness -- was celebrated universally in all ages of man. agencies, political subdivisions, munici- Taken over [stolen] by the Christians as the birth- palities or school districts, shall enact, day of their mythological Christ, this ancient holiday, set by adopt or enforce any statute, regulation, motions of the celestial bodies, survives as a day of rejoicing ordinance or policy whereby homosexual, that good will and love will have a perpetual rebirth in the lesbian or bisexual orientation, conduct, minds of men -- even as the sun has a symbolic rebirth yearl y. practices or relationships shall constitute This is a natural, Atheist way of saying, "Greetings or otherwise be the basis of, or entitle any of the Winter Solstice Season!" THE FRONT PAGE NEWS AMERICAN The battle over equality of civil rights for lesbians GAY & LESBIAN and gays -- especially in local and statewide referenda and ATHEIST in the military -- has been front page news in practically Dedicated to the Memory of Mark P. Franceschini, every newspaper across the country. Fundamentalist Chris- who made this publication possible. tian zealots, who must have a bogeyman, have found their The American Gay & Lesbian Atheist is published monthly by American objects 'd hate in lesbians and gays. According to them, Gay Atheists, Inc., a non-profit, non-political 501(c)(3) educational foundation whose purposes are to promote a positive image of Gay men every ill of society -- past, present and future -- can be and Lesbian women who are Atheists; to promote and advance the directly attributed to homosexuality. scientific concept of materialism; and to educate the public generally and Gay men and Lesbian women specifically, in regard to human sexuality I believe the homophobes -- especially and the value of human interpersonal relationships. those who also profess to be Christians -- Don Sanders National Director are the most unreasonable people I have Dominic Florio National Vice-President encountered since assuming this post 10 Doug McNeil Arizona Coordinator months ago. -- Phil Record, special assis- Editor-in-Chief: Don Sanders tant to the publisher and ombudsman of Contributors: Terry Tryon; Gaylord Lovett; Dominic Florio the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, Sunday, Printing: American Atheist Press, Inc. July 28, 1992. Distribution: Frank Parsley; Don Sanders Election day in many localities was marked by Copyright 1992 by American Gay Atheists, Inc. All rights reserved. fears of violence, as in Portland, Oregon, where Measure 9, Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited. which would have labeled homosexuality as "abnormal behavior," lost. The Oregon initiative was a bitterly con- Mailing Address: P.O. Box 66711 Houston, Texas 77266-6711 tested attempt to write into the Oregon Constitution lan- Telephone & FAX: (713) 862-3283 guage that would have condemned homosexuality as "ab- Manuscripts submitted must be typed, double-spaced, and accompanied normal, wrong, unnatural and perverse." The initiative by a stamped, self-addressed envelope. The editor(s) assumes no respon- would have required state and local government agencies to sibility for unsolicited manuscripts. All submissions are subject to editorial revisions for reasons of space considerations and clarity. All actively discourage homosexuality and prohibit the adop- contributions are the opinions of the authors and do not necessarily reflect tion of any laws to protect gay men and lesbians from the position of American Gay Atheists, Inc. discrimination. Measure 9 proponents who gathered under glpa the umbrella organization called the Oregon Citizens Alli- Affiliate Member: ance (OCA) were composed primarily of right-wing Chris- GAY AND LESBIAN PRESS ASSOCIATlON American Gay & Lesbian Atheists page # 2 person or class of persons to have or claim any minority status, quota preferences, protected status or claim of discrimina- tion. This section of the constitution shall be in all respects self-executing. Dial-A-Gay-Atheist 24-Hour Recorded Message Up until about two years ago, only about 3 percent of Coloradans lived in communities with gay-rights laws. Houston With the passage of a 1990 gay-rights ordinance in Denver, that figure rose to nearly 20 percent, or one in five Colorad- (713) 880·4242 ans. The amendment's proponents, mainly Christian funda- mentalist zealots, successfully associated the state's three gay-rights ordinances (in Boulder, Aspen and Denver) with Your Outspoken Voice of Freedom quotas, special preferences and reverse discrimination.