The Power of the Powerless: a Brother's Lesson

The Power of the Powerless: A Brother’s Lesson

By Christopher de Vinck them outside, where my mother revived see?" And once she said, "When you go quickly. to heaven, Oliver will run to you, I grew up in the house where my On April 20, 1947, Oliver was born. embrace you, and the first thing he will brother was on his back in his bed for A healthy looking, plump, beautiful boy. say is 'Thank you."' I remember, too, my almost 33 years, in the same corner of One afternoon, a few months later, my mother explaining to me that we were his room, under the same window, mother brought Oliver to a window. She blessed with Oliver in ways that were beside the same yellow walls. Oliver held him there in the sun, the bright not clear to her at first. was blind, mute. His legs were twisted. good sun, and there Oliver looked and So often parents are faced with a He didn't have the strength to lift his looked directly into the sunlight, which child who is severely disabled, but who head nor the intelligence to learn was the first moment my mother realized is also hyperactive, demanding or wild, anything. that Oliver was blind. who needs constant care. So many Today I am an English teacher, and My parents, the true heroes of this people have little choice but to place each time I introduce my class to the story, learned with the passing months, their child in an Institution. We were play about Helen Keller, "The Miracle that blindness was only part of the fortunate that Oliver didn't need us to be Worker," I tell my students about Oliver. problem. So they brought Oliver to Mt. in his room all day. He never knew what One day, during my first year teaching, a Sinai Hospital in New York for tests to his condition was. We were blessed with boy in the last row raised his hand and determine the extent of his condition. his presence, a true presence of peace. said, "Oh, Mr. de Vinck. You mean he The doctor said that he wanted to When I was in my early 20s, I met a was a vegetable." make it very clear to both my mother girl and fell in love. After a few months I stammered for a few seconds. My and father that there was absolutely I brought her home to meet my family. family and I fed Oliver. We changed his nothing that could be done for Oliver. When my mother went to the kitchen to diapers, hung his clothes and bed linen He didn't want my parents to grasp at prepare dinner, I asked the girl, "Would on the basement line in winter, and false hope. "You could place him in an you like to see Oliver?" for I had told spread them out white and clean on the institution," he said. "But," my parents her about my brother. "No," she lawn in the summer. I always liked to replied, "he is our son. We will take answered. watch the grasshoppers jump on the Oliver home of course." The good Soon after, I met Roe, a lovely girl. pillowcases. doctor answered, "Then take him home She asked me the names of my brothers We bathed Oliver. Tickled his chest and love him.” and sisters. She loved children. I thought to make him laugh. Sometimes we left Oliver grew to the size of a 10-year- she was wonderful. I brought her home the radio on in his room. We pulled the old. He had a big chest, a large head. His after a few months to meet my family. shade down over his bed in the morning hands and feet were those of a five-year- Soon it was time for me to feed Oliver. I to keep the sun from burning his tender old, small and soft. We'd wrap a box of remember sheepishly asking Roe if she'd skin. We listened to him laugh as we baby cereal for him at Christmas and like to see him. "Sure," she said. watched television downstairs. We place it under the tree; pat his head with I sat at Oliver's bedside as Roe listened to him rock his arms up and a damp cloth in the middle of a July heat watched over my shoulder. I gave him down to make the bed squeak. We wave. His baptismal certificate hung on his first spoonful, his second. "Can I do listened to him cough in the middle the wall above his head. A bishop came that?" Roe asked with ease, with night. to the house and confirmed him. freedom, with compassion, so I gave her Well, I guess you could call him a Even now, five years after his death the bowl and she fed Oliver one him a vegetable. I called him Oliver, my from pneumonia on March 12, 1980, spoonful at a time. brother. You would have liked him." Oliver still remains the weakest, most The power of the powerless. Which One October day in 1946, when my helpless human being I ever met, and yet girl would you marry? Today Roe and I mother was pregnant with Oliver, her he was one of the most powerful human have three children. second son, she was overcome by fumes beings I ever met. He could do from a leaking coal-burning stove. My absolutely nothing except breathe, sleep, oldest brother was sleeping in his crib, eat, and yet he was responsible for which was quite high off the ground so action, love, courage, insight. the gas didn't affect him, My father When I was small my mother would pulled say, "Isn't it wonderful that you can