The Lumber Room and Other

Home , Lumber room

C O NT E NT S

PA R T I TH E LU M B ER R oo m

F I CK LE JU LI ET

’ THE F O R T ESCU ES DI N N ER PA R T Y

PA R T I I ’ JO HN A U B R EY S DR EA M PA R T I I I ’

THE P . G s.

PA R T I V THEM B A N N s

T HE T O O LI P

WR O N G A GAI N

N B - Th ur P m a l b ha . . e fo a rts a so e d se a ra te l y p y,

in h a e r ve ri 6d . a c . p p co rs, p ce e The A m ate ur Fee fo r every pe rfo rm a n ce of these Pl ays

is as Follo ws :

’ ’

o hn A rb r s Drea m an d he P . G s a J e y t lo/ e ch .

I n a Lum be r Roo m F ' P The o rtescues Din n er a rty . Th T e oo li p . a h 5 / e c . Julie t.

The m B an n s . Wron g

A ll Fees m ust be a id In advan ce to the Pu s p bli he rs. T HE LUM BER RO O M

cen e A n a lm ost em t lum ber room the ( S p y , f ew thi ng s i n i t a ll covered wi th dust sheets e ce t a box or sm a ll trun k , x p i hts stan di ng n ear the door R . L g auti ousl turn ed low . The door i s c y o en ed an d a oun m a n en ters on p , y g ti toe a n d rom tl alls over the p , p p y f i he da n es with a sui ta ble box n t rk s, li s a excla m ati on . He sten for m om en t a nd then shuts the door with

reat care a nd ra es a bout or a g , g p f ts hi m seat. F i ndi n n o other he sea g , sel ta i lor wi se ou the box ushi n i t f , p g n earer to the door a nd ha vi n turn ed , , g u the li ht exam i n es hi s ba ll ro p g , p A g ra m m e w ith obvi ous di sta ste. m i n ute la ter f ootstep s are heard out side a n d the door o en s and collides , p vi olen l th ooki n ound ty wi the box . L g r with the horriﬁed a i r of a truan t cau ht i n the a ct he sees a i rl also g , g , carr i n a ro ra m m e i n the door y g p g , wa a n d hurri edl s ri n s to hi s y , y p g

f eet. )

She. O h I do b eg your pardon : I ’ n e v e r dr e a m e d of an yon e else s b e in g up he re . Shall I ’

H . ! e O h , n o Ple ase don t ! 6 The Lumber Room

She ( com i ngforward) . A n d di d I hurt you ’ I m so so rry.

o d . He . N o t a t all I en j ye it Whe re will ’ ’ you sit ? I m af raid you w on t ﬁn d it v ery h w h ! l r k n . T r co m fo rtab e e e , y ou o y t i s box ’ N o w ai t a m i n ute e ll ut th at old ca r e t , W p p ’ d n kn o w h w i b ag on the top . I o t o cle an it s — ! ! ( rubs ﬁng er on i t) . Ug h Di sg u stin g ’ h h e You d b ette r av e m y an dk e rchief . ( H

s reads it a nd she si ts down . p , ) Th u r m uch She . an k y o v e y I ’ ’ don t dese rv e all this re all fo r I m b ein y, g ve ry wi ck e d. ’ ’

m sure o u re n o . He. I y t ’ a She . B ut I m I m cuttin g a pa rtn e r fo r these tw o dan ces ! He ( wi th a qu izzi ca l look whi ch she does n ot hi fo r wo dan c s ! u see) . Cuttin g m t e Yo ’ don t say so Wha t a dre a df ul thin g to do ’ I m awf so rr fo r the oo r fellow w hoeve r t y p ,

he i s. ’ ’ ’

She . You n e e dn t b e . I m sure he s a horrid w o rm . I ha d to ﬁn d a v ery g oo d hidin - lace b e cause m aun t will hun t hi h g p , y g ’ l w r h an d o fo m e ; s e s th at k in d of w o m an . The o rrid o rm i s a roté é of he rs ou H W p g , y w w k n o . I o uld hav e hidden in the g arden f h ’ ’ i it adn t b e en such a w e t n ig ht. Y ou don t ’ thin k she ll e ve r en e tra te to thi s la ce do p p , yo u ’ He . I m sure I hope n ot what w o ul d happen if she did The Lumber Room 7

’ ! h ’ She . O h don t k n ow O f course s e d , I ’ thin k I w as sittin g out the Wo rm s dan ces ’ with ou — where as don t even k n ow our y , I y h ’ l n am e . I f she ask ed m e I s ouldn t b e ab e to tell he r . ’ ha in a n M i n i ur He. B ut w t s am e e s s e to b on es o r Sm ith an d what does it m atte e J , r whi ch it is P hi h i ? She . ell w c s it W ,

. h He Whi c eve r you lik e be tter. ’

. h r She I don t lik e eit e . ’

He . ell then it isn t W , ’ She. Isn t what ! He . E ither, of course ? She . ell as ou sa what does it m atte r W , y y , ’ I f m y aun t does com e sh e ll b e fa r too an g ry to ’ ca re w hether ou re B rown o r on es or y , J , r R ob in son . B ut why a e you up here ’ You re n o t cuttin a artn er o course g p , f

He. Why of course ?

She . O h it w ould b e such a horrid thin g ’ for a m a n to do thou h it s n o t un ardon able , g p h in a w om an . B ut do tell m e w y you are up he re — — — — a b e t on with a fellow e r e r th at ( struck ’ with a bright idea) th a t our host sh an t b e able d r h A wf r to ﬁn m e fo t e an ce rs. ul b o e L ,

“ ’ Lan cers ; I can t stan d them at an y pri ce ; an d ou kn ow what a fuss old b o Gra is y y y y , h ’ ll h h e un t up e v e ry J ohn n y e can g e t. Th h She . e L an cers P B ut t e Lancers 8 The L umber Room

’ don t com e for ages ! (looks at programm e. ) Wh af r su r I y, not till te ppe — — ! He. O h e r N o , of course n ot — ’ (Rom anci ng B ut di dn t you kn ow ’ — they d chan g ed them to N o . 6 this n ex t dan ce as ever is

She s ri n i n u . O h have the Then ( p g g p) , y ’ I m ust g o down at on ce I m en g ag ed fo r the Lan cers ; an d I m ust trust to luck that I ’ don t m ee t the Wo rm . (Exam i n es her pro

ram me . O h de ar ! I t i s awkw ard when ou g ) , y ’ cut people s dan ces

He etti n between her and the door . Y (g g ) es. it is in deed ! ententi ousl O h w hat a ( S y) , tan led web w e w e ave hen rst w e rac ti se g , W ﬁ p ’ to deceive ! w eet o m tha t i sn t i ? S p e , , t A re you fon d of poe try

She ( ig nori ng hi m) . I s that the b an d — — He . N o the bard a diﬁeren ce of on e ’ lette r only ! B ut you haven t an swe red m y

She . B ecau i w a se t as such silly on e . Was that the b an d ? Listen ! (Long ’

ause. ell w hat s the m atter n ow ? p ) W , He i n a rotes ue atti tude o te ( g q f eager li s n i ng) . ’ ’ I m still dom it tha s all g , t

She . Doin g what

He. isten in of course as ou told 1 L g , y m e ’

She . O h ou are rovok i ! l , y p ng I d a m ost rather you q uote d poe try th an stan d ' starin there lookin as if ou d seen a h g , g y g ost He wi th alacrit r ? ( y) . M o e poetry De The Lumber Room 9

lighted ! (A ssumes atti tude of prof essi on al h reciter standi n i n ron t o her. N ow w at , g f f ) , With shall I give you ? Ha ! I have it. ( professi on a l m an n er)

a r M a r uite co n tra r M y, y , q y , All in a a d n fai g r e r, The a me a re a t s ide r re c g p , A n d sat down esi de he r b , To ti e up her bo nn y brown hai r !

u w ridi l ous She n willi n l a m used . Ho cu ( g y ) , an d h w horri d ! P rha s if ou o e p , y ’ have ui te don e ou ll k in dl allow m e to q , y y pass ?

He (throwi ng out hi s chest an d thumpi ng it) . ’ ’ Ah b ut ha ven t don e ! I m n ow re ul arl , I g y in h ! t e vein fo r it. Li sten a s y ou yourself rem a rk ed ust n ow ! i m ressi vel a s she si ts j ( p y , down wi th a esture o i m ati ence , g f p )

M y m an F rida y K e t the house ti d p y , F o r u w hi in s ch as s bus ess to do so . T i n te tan T an ! Ti n te tan tan ! g g , g g ” g , g 0 h l Poo r R o bin son Crusoe !

( Si ts down besi de her . ) ! he . How a urd are Do o aw S b s you g ay. e i n i n e Y ou w an H ( jur d ton es) . t m e to g o ’ ’ awa ? R eall ? ell I m sure don y y W , I t k n ow wh . F oldi n han ds a nd rolli n u y ( g , g p ’ e I m e rfectl h arm l a child i h ey s) . p y ess ; m g t with m e ! So why you sho ul d wish to m e aw ay She i m ati entl O h how ti resom e o ( p y) , y u 1 0 The Lumber Room

’ are ! I don t wish to dri ve an yon e an yw here : A ll w an t is to o do wn to m artn er an d I g y p , d h h ets an ce r . He t e L an ce s (S e ri ses. g b en a e l l m e etwe her nd th door . ) P e ase to e t ass ! R ea ll Si r ! p y , ’ h He . I t s all fo r your ow n g oo d. T e ’ ’ m usi c hasn t b e un e t an d if o u re such a g y , y ’ v e ry e a rly b i rd you ll ce rtain ly c atch the ’ o — h W rm a t le ast e ll c a tch you . ’ She . I don t c a re . I g ave the Lan cers to ’ a tain arr so it s hi s dan ce n o w n o t the C p C , , ’ Wo rm s. i ’ He ( sha k ng hi s head) . Don t you ﬂatte r you rself Worm s a re v e ry ten a ci ous of ’ thei r ri hts as o u d k n ow if ou w e re an g , y y y thi n g o f a g a rden e r. ! ’ h ’ 6 T h r sure . She . e e I m t a t s N o b e g in n in g . Ple ase m ove ou t of m y w ay . ’ He ( aﬂecti ng a ston i shm en t after a m om en t s 6 ! em barra ssm ent) . N o. ? Why I n e ve r said ’ 6 the d ch an ed the an ce rs to N o . di d y g L , I

inl di . She . You ce rta y d ’ ? h ! I m r ! He . Did O sa so so r I , I y y ’ h at an a w ul ass am ! didn t m e an si x W f I I ,

m e an t n i n e of course . I , ’ ? She. R a the r a diffe ren ce , isn t the re ’

. e a l h He . Non e at all I t s x ct y t e sam e u re on l tu rn e d u side down N ow le ase ﬁg , y p p ’ sta y The re s n o e a rthly sen se in your rush in in to the a rm s of our aun t an d the o rm . g y , W

( She si ts down ) . (He m oves round behi nd ’ B w a h h w rm d n v her . th t o u o s o t ha e ) y e y , g , arm s do h r hin s ? . t ey. poo t g The Lumber Room 1 1

’ She (petti shly) . I thin k you re ve ry ’ ﬂi an t an d it isn t on e b it a m usin fo r m e pp , g , ’ I c an tell you ! I m sure I wish the w re tch ’ w as at the b o tto m of the se a ! He s quite spo il t m y dan ce . h ’ ! ’ He hurt . don sa h t A ren ( ) O , t y t a t y o u en j oyi n g it ata ll ’ ! She . O f course I m n ot He ( sitti ng down by her on the end of the ’ box) . R eally A ren t you en j oyin g yourself m ovi n n earer n ow ust a little ( g ) , j

She ( crushi ngly) . N ot in the le ast. ! He . ell n or am W , I Th h wh She . In dee d en m ig t I ask y you w e re so an xi ous to prolon g the situati on

He . M e rel o ut of it assure ou . y p y, I y ? She . F o r w hom ourse lf su o se . Y , I pp

He . N ot at all . h ? She . F o r m e t en How e trem el , x y f ! B r k in d o ou M r . on es ut a k e e y , J p y p you r pity for so m eon e who will appreci a te ’ it ! I don t. ’ He. Y ou shouldn t j um p to con clusio n s. n eve r dre am ed of it i n ou thou h n ow I p y g y , g I com e to thi n k of it (p ause ) ’

She . Yes ? O h don t m in d m e ! Pra , y g o o n ! ’ He . N o ! O n se con d thoug hts I won t g o ’ on o r o an w here . I d ra the r sta where , g y y

I am . ’ ’ She . I ve alw ays b e en told th at it s b ad m an n e rs n ot to ﬁn ish a sen ten ce . 1 2 The Lumber Room

’ He. I beli eve I ve forg otten what it w as ab out by thi s tim e .

She. ell all can sa is con side r ou W . I y , I y ’ the rudest m an I ve ev e r m et N o on e would b e lik el to fo r e t ou shoul d thi nk y g y , I

He. Ah Than k yo u so m uch I fa nci ed I w as m a ki n g a n im p ressio n i m essi o ! O h ! o She ( scornfully) . A n pr n S ’

ou are b u isn an a ree abl e on e . y , t it t g ’ He . A h I m so rry fo r that Pe rha ps even the Ho rrid Worm w oul d shi n e by

com arison . M editati vel I f he sh on e p ( y) , I ’ ’ su o se he d b e a low- w o rm w ouldn t he pp g , ’ ’ She . How silly ! I don t thin k you v e

m a de n i r M r . on es. o e se n s ble rem a k y et,

He. I thoug ht we had ag ree d tha t m y n am e w as n ot on es M i ss —e r —B rown ! B ut J , ’ I ve n o obj e cti on to tellin g you w hat it i s ; shall I ’ She h le ase don t O , p

. e He I n eve r do . B ut what troub le s m ’ is that I v e g ot th e m ost awful c ram p ! I ’ can m e t stay lik e thi s. I re ally m ust g et so ’ thin decen t o it on hou h w he re it s to g t s , t g r e looks com e f om g o odn ess only k n o wn . (H a bout and ﬁn a lly di scovers a rocki ng horse wrapped up i n dust sheets ; he drag s i t oui i tr umpha n tly . ) Hallo ! He re w e are ; thi s w ill b e sple n di d. B ut pe rh aps you w o uld lik e ’ ’ it ? h om e m sur o u r a r w an . I e y e o se om C . ’ ou do rid don y e , t you T he Lumber Room 1 3

- She . Y es b ut n ot in ev eni n dress , g ; I ’ ‘ re ui re a h ab it so don t le t m e de rive ou q , p y o f your m oun t. l e on h . h He ( settli ng hims f orse) All rig t. ’ - ho a ! Ri de a cock ho rse &c . sn t he a W , I sw ee t thing He rem in ds m e of b uttercups an d dai si es an d tre acle an d e ar- b o in s an d . , x g , velve suits an d all the res of t tri ki t . t i ( S ng ! d a n attitude . ) Ah the ays of m y artless ‘ youth ! I t m ak es m e feel q uite m audlin to

w She ( reflecti vely) . H o m uch n ice r you m ust have b een then than you are n ow

’ do let s g e t b ack to our q uarrellin g . Let m e

She ( coldly) . I t tak es tw o to m ak e a ’ h uarrel an d it s a t i n n ever do . q , g I , ! He. h om e We were b oth hard a i O , c t t, i ! n a fri en dl k in d of w a ust n ow . O h y y , j — I re m em b e r ! I w as tryin g to tell you o n ly — you w ould in terrupt who it w as th at I i i p t ed. ho w ? he . ell w a i S W , s t

Th . He. e Worm

I n o horse i s ava ilable he hun ( f , ts about w i n » and nall sa s N o there g , ﬁ y ) , ’ Well then m ust , , I si t on the oor. used to e ars a o in the ﬂ I , y g , ! days of m y a rtless youth . O h it m ak es m e feel ui te m a li n &c . q ud . ] 1 4 T he L umber Roo m

r She . Piti ed the Wo m

He . e rtai nl b e cause can se e how C y , I ’ you ll trea d on hi m when you g et th e chan ce - tre ad him ﬂat I w on de r if I k n ow the po o r a r b egg ar. I s he very poison ous so t ’ h do k n hi hi She . O n t ow an n ab out m , I yt g . ’ ’ e ce t tha t he s a e t of A un t liz a s an d x p p E , I alw ays hate he r pets. ’ He. I don t m uch lik e the ide a of a pe t w orm !

She . The last th ree she in tro duced to m e w ere a w ul an d et she th ou ht them ui te f , y g q h ’ d li htful . Thi s n ew on e s e s onl seen on ce e g y , ’ ’ b eli ev e he s a fri en d s fri en d an d she I ; , ’ hardl k n ow s him re all b ut sh e sa s he s a y y, y

erfect ara on . So from ast e eri en ce of p p g , p xp ’ her ara on s I should sa he s rob abl p g , y p y sca rcely hum a n ! h ’ wh l d He. ell t at s alm ost at on e w ou W , ’ ? ’ t of a w o rm , isn t it B ut what s the fellow lik e to look at ’ ’ w I e n r She . I don t k n o ; v eve set eyes

N ever set e es on hi m ? Then how He . y the dick en s did he m an ag e to b ook up dan ces ? She ( looki ng up from program me whi ch she

ha s been stud i n . O h she did th at A un t y g) , ; h m i hi r in li a m e an . You see e ssed s t a E z , I , , — ( He gri n s) an d h ad to com e down b y the ’ ’ ei h o clock on e so he couldn t et he re till g t , g h h d e un an d m aun er t e da n ce a b g , y t v y The Lumber Room 1 5

’ ver sorr b ut can t hel it y y, I p r r e She . She put hi m down on m y p og am m 6 d h e r an d w as for N os. an d an t e su 5 , pp , I h h h e o furi ous. So I t oug t if I cut t es tw ’ dan ces he d cut the su e r ver n aturall , pp , y y,

an d it w oul d b e a g ood sn ub for A un t E liz a .

He. B ut then who will tak e the oo r , , p Worm in to supp er E ven reptiles m ust b e f k n o ! ed, you w l ! She . O h there are len t of eo e , p y p p ’ ’ He s rob abl odious in eve r w a b ut he s p y y y , ver rich b elieve an d own s a lar e ro y , I , g p ’ ert so there ll b e n o lack of sn ob s to s ui rm p y, q ore ’ ! He . H m I al w ays thoug ht w o rm s di d uirmi n g them selves ; the on es in my

ce rtai nl . ell ou thi n k he y W , y ’ won t turn u for su er with ou an how p pp y , y ’ — ’ She . O f cour h w on t unl ess he s a — se e hopeless worm after m y cuttin g these others ! — He. Ah Y es o f course ! I t i s a long ’ worm that k n ows n o turnin i sn i Then g , t t wha t do yo u say to m akin g ove r the supper dan c e — es to m I can a rran g e it. h She . O can ou re Tha w oul d , y ally t d h f b e elig t ul. ’ ’

He . B the w a wha h y y, t s t e m an s n am e ’ You ve n ever told m e that ’

She . O h don t thin k ou ht to after , I I g , run n in g him down so ; an d you m ust rem em ’ b er I don t k n ow an ythin g about him really 1 6 The Lumber Room

’ I onl y k n ow th at all A un t E liz a s favourites h ave b een de a l n w course test b e . up to o . O f he m a b e all that she sa s an d m o re er y y , : p fectl ch armi n erha s an d n ot a orrid y g , p p , H Worm at all ! He ( sm ili ng to hi mself) . I won de r B ut please tell m e hi s n am e ’ ’ — She. O h b ut I m sure ou htn t Please , I g

He. ll let m e see it in ste ad then ou We , y ’ w on t h av e told m e will ou Give m e our , y y ’ ro ram m e an d I ll write m n am e over hi s p g , y

. l dan ces. ( T a kes it from her ) Ah ! M i ba n ke Than k you ! (He ha nds back the progr am m e and watches her . ) ’ ha ven ut our She (puzzled) . B ut you t p y n am e down

i al re ad . He . I foun d t there y ’ h r n am e ? h ! She. B ut t at isn t you W y ’ ’ You don t m ean You re n ot ’ you re n ot He a w Horrid orm at our lo W , y servi ce ! how awful ! What he horr ed . O h b ut S ( iﬁ ) , ’ c an I say ? You ll n ever forgi ve m e ; of ’ dr f l ur n e e r will . O h it s too e d u co se you v , a ’ ’ n k n ow hi . Y ou did . d n nk so t He I o t t , an d didn f either un til ou said th at ab o ut I t , y the train j ust n ow . ’ ! i is it s awful ! She . O h b ut t ; ll ! s des have a con He . a a be i N ot t , I f I was hi din from ou eesi on to m ak e g y g .

FIC U K LE J LIET .

Characters

M rs. astle an attr acti ve wi dow lad . C , y

uli et K err h e r n i ece . j , Si r ohn T rrwood a coun tr s ui re of j y , y q m iddl e ag e . Cli ord B rou hton onl so n of a w ealth f g , y y

cen e : A drawin - room or a arden S g , g T i : r d m e P esen t ay .

’ En ter Juli et a nd Cliﬁord sim ultan eously ’ c si f from diﬁeren t di recti on s. They atch ght o ach oth ack e er and both step b a pace.

B oth. 0h l l o li ﬁo r ! uli et. P e ase aw a C d cam e j g y, I he re to b e by m yself . ' ? Cli ord. Did ou ell so did ! ﬁ y W , I

(B oth advan ce . )

j uli et. Then you m ay as w ell g o b ack ’ wh r ro f r u e e you ca m e f m , o yo can t be by ’ yourself w hile I m he re . ' ’ l rha h r i n C ord. ell e s t e e s som e th iﬁ W , p p g h in . ks a ut i t at (He loo bo h m , or out of the

i o a a . w nd w wi th chala n i . Pa , n on t r use) ? j uli et. Then why do yo u sta y o n ? P ssibly you are expecti g m e to go . F i ckle Juli et 1 9

i ! Clilford (turn i ng roun d) . Wait a b t Whi ch of us w as he re ﬁrst h r d r i sel . a e a e c Juli et Ne it er. We riv t p y i u all un de r the sam e m o m en t. B ut it s su y sto o d th at~ the m an g iv es w ay to the w om an r A n d he u su ally does. M o e thi s m an an d a rti cul a rl to thi s , p y ’ w o m an ! B ut rst do le t s s t down a n d , ﬁ , i , h con sider t e situati on . d . f r uli et e rtain l n ot ause . lif o J C y (p ) C , ’ w I m aitin g . M r ha fo r ? li ord. de a uli e t w t C ff y J ,

uli et. F o r ou to o an d b e b ourself J y g y y ,

as you sai d you wi shed. h ! r ! Th k ou v e r Cli lford. O o f cou se an y y

m uch . B ut do ou k n ow n o lon e r wi sh it. , y , I g

uli et. ell do oldl re J W , I ( C y) I p sum e you have n ot forg otten that our n e g ag em en t i s b rok en oﬁ . h ’ li ord. N o aven t for otten that C ff I g , ’ n or that you couldn t pro duce on e blessed reason for it !

uli et. ce t w hat I S so stu idl called J E x p , p y ’ h an r a t e w om s e ason . B ut sin ce I m a w om an th at re aso n should b e g oo d en oug h ’

. l Cliﬁord I t does n ot coun t at all . So e t m e ask ou on ce a ain what h ave eve r y g , I don e to off en d you — n h Juli et (petulan tly) . Nothi n g ot i n g ’

That s ust it. You n eve r do do an thi n j y g , — n eve r I wish you di d ! O h ! it is all so dull an d a out of ati en ce , I m p 20 Pickle Juliet

' ’ ’ r Clifiord. You re n o t ; you e on ly out o tem e r an d o u will b e ver so rr re sen tl p , y y y p y, ’ w hile as fo r our b ein tire d o f m e don t , y g , I ’ b elieve it uli et sim l do n t b eli ev e it , J , I p y i lf ul et. Th re ou ar ! o su re o f ourse J e y e S y , an d r i ch i s fa r w o rse ! so su e o f m e too , w h ’ ’ B u n o w i l h i fi e s d. i sn t v t t al at an en W y , t m in utes sin ce the last ti m e told ou th at in I y , the lib rary ! i R u ? I t Cl f ord. e ally only five m in tes see m s m o re lik e five e ars to m e an d five y , lon dull on es ! g , , too id Juli et. A h ! You k n ow I d w on de r w hy you eve r w an te d to b e alon e ! i so u I t s n lik e yo u . ’ d o e Clifiord (g ra vely) . I b e li ev e I w an te t b

alo n e to thin k ab o ut ou . , y ’ l w a s uli et. O h Cliﬁo rd ! on t ! Y o u a J , D y m an a e to u t m e in the w ron an d to m ak e g p g , ’ m o ou h fo r e feel ho rrid. I m n t g ood en g ou an d n r w as ! B u fo r all that wh y , e ve t, , y ’ sho ul dn t I pre fe r so m eb o dy else ? Clifford. Why n o t in dee d ut it m o st m ercift happen s that you ’ gon t ’

uli et. ell o u ou htn t to m ak e too J W , y g ’ ce rtain of that ! B esides wh sho uldn t , y I b e a s in ste r if lik e in ste ad o f b e in b othe red p I , g with an yon e I t w o uld be far ple a san te r to m o wn m i r - call b e y st ess. an d have n o on e to

m e to o rder . ' li ord s ou . Y C m ili n . e r w ell then ﬁ ( g) V y , Pi ckle j uli et 21 sh all rem ai n a spin ste r an d I will re m ain a h ful ide a ! b achelo r . A de li g t o o k ? Juli et (qui ckly) . Y u w uld li e tha t Th n w e h all both b e le a se d ! P a use e s p ( , du i whi c the sta nd looki n at each other r ng h y g . ’ then Juli et turn s a wa y) . B ut pray don t tro uble to re m ain a b a chelo r o n my a cco un t ’ h r r Cli ord. ell it m i t n o t b e fo ve ﬁ W , g y r w lo n g . A nd o f co u se a s so o n as e ve r w e e re

tired o f i t w e could b e m a rrie d.

uli et. 0 h l A n d who m shall ou m a rr J y y, if I m ay ask

l ord. You o f cou rse m dea r i rl C iff , , y g , w ho else h h uli et i m ati entl . A h m i t ave J ( p y) , I g w w r r k n o n yo u e e onl y foo lin g . O f cou se I ’ m e an t I d rea ll b e a s in ste r an o rdi n ar y p , y m iddl e- a ed o n e with re hai r an d all g , g y ,

that so rt o f thin g .

li ord. B ut ou co uld n eve r b e o rdin a r C ff y y, ’ an d it ll tak e so long fo r you to b e mi ddle ’ ag e d A n d your hai r do e sn t tur n g re y to o rde r o u w o ul d hav o i h r l a h ; y e t e t e b e c it, whi ch w o uld b e dre a dful o r m an a e to have , g

so m e ho rrid sh ock , whi ch w oul d b e w o rse ! ’ N w d r dr h o e b e tte o t e s in ste r ide a . B ut , p p ’ — I m qui te willin g to play at what shall I say - b ein g di se n g ag e d to you fo r a little ! w So n o . tell m e who i s to b e m y supplan te r ’

uli et. Pla a t it in dee d ! I m n o t la J y , p y in g ! A n d I da re say the re will b e plen ty to dl o e fro m without havin to o ve r far , g g y aﬁglci I 22 B aku Juli et

o in h Clif ord. What N n e t i s n eighbo ur hoo d surel The re a re onl a few w retch ed , y y ’ m ushroo m s a re the re ? I n fact can t , , I thi n k of an yon e except tha t old idio t Sir J ohn Ty rrw oo d ! ’ ! Juli et. He i sn t old ’ ! uli et ! w Cliﬁord. N ot old J Y o u ere ’ n eve r thi n k in g of that m an He s old en oug h h to b e your fa t e r. ’ h n e e dn uli et. ell e t b e so ve r old to J W , y ’ be that an d m o st ce rta in l he s n ot an idi o t , y ’ He s a deli htful m an an d ve r k in d an d g , y , oo d an d en tle an d u ri ht an d hon o ur g , g , p g , able !

Cliflord ( m ocki ng ly) . De ar m e ! A ll the ’ vi rtues ? Then I m af raid yo u w ould fin d hi ven m o re bo rin th an o u do m e sin ce m e g y , m y few little g oo d po in ts are so exaspe ra tin g i to o u . e t m e se e it i s ch e m ih y L , fly y ’ o flen sive n ess th at ou fin d so o ffen sive i sn y , t it So how could yo u eve r en dure a pa rag on lik e Si r J o hn ’ Juli et ( ig nori ng thi s) . An d he s b een eve ry whe re an d see n e ve r thin an d ca me o ve r , y g , ’ with illi am the on ue ro r so he s n o t a W C q , m ushroo m ! ' ? Clifiord ( la ug hi ng) . A m ushroom M y ’ de ar i rl he s a curi osit k n ew he w as old g , y I , ’ b ut I di dn t kn ow he w as so o ld as tha t ! ’ Wh he s a reci ous an d m o st valua b le y , p an ti ue an d o u m ust ce rta in l a dd hi m to q , y y your collecti on ! I should put him in to a F i ckle Juliet 23

’ glass case : (M ea n i ngly) then he d b e out of ’

ha rm s w a an d a o o d thin to o . y , g g i s a Juli et ( whose fit of temper bati ng) . How sill o u are liff o rd Yo u k n o w ui te w y y , C q ell ha nl m an hi il is a t t I o y e t s fam y n old o n e . I ’ do beli eve ou re run ni n him do wn o nl , y g y ’ be cause you re jealous u ! ou f Clifford. Jealo s J eal s o an old ass ’ lik e him ? I thin k there s n o n ee d for th at : ’ he d n eve r have dared to as ire to ou in an p y , y

case . h h ’ Juli et. N ot w hile e t ink s I m en g ag e d to h w o u of co ur . B ut it e k n e it w as all ov y , se e r ’ wha h be tween us you can t tell t e m ig ht do . ' Cliﬁord ( rea lly a ngry n ow) . You shoul d — i refuse him , I w ould i n s st on it uli et la u hs walks a wa a nd s ea ks over J ( g , y , p wh h ul I her shoulder) . A n d at s o d care ? ’ I ll tell o u what if Si r ohn does ask m e to y , J m arr him sh all do it ust be cause ou said y , I , j y

th at so it wi ll b e all o ur own faul t. She , y ( turn s to face hi m . ) Clifford ( con trolli ng hi s temper with a n ’ ’ — li . I e ort . e r w ell u et ll sa oo d ﬁ ) V y , J y g ’ ’ ll sh ak e han ds w o t o ? n w . ou n u bye o Y , y

uli et vi si bl m elti n a li ttle . Yes oh J ( y g ) , ! i ves hi m her han d whi ch he kee s i n yes (g , p ' his she sm i les but Cl ord looks ver ra ve ; , iﬁ y g ) —— d if-w if it turn s out b adl ou m u an y, y st ’ blam e yourself ! You shouldn t have be en so m asterful liff ord : , C ’ u h n to hav k Cli ord. N o o t t e s o en , I g p ill ou for ive m e lik e at. W y g 24 Ii ickle Juli et

’ uli et fo r i ve m elti n still m ore . Yes I ll J ( g ) , g ’ ! o u o f r . h d n k h at y , co u se O , o t loo k li e t Go odbye ! — — hn Cliﬁbrd. A n d if b y an y ch an ce S i r J o ’ doesn t ask yo u h ’ uliet. ell if e doesn t ask m e then J W , , I su ose —o h ! the re he is ! om e aw a pp C y,

Cliﬁo rd ui ck b efore h sees us. , q , e

( They di sappear) .

astle and Si r ohn T rrwood. En ter M rs. C J y ! — w Si r John (p anti ng ) . The re I thin k e have foun d a ui et spo t at last fo r our con q — versation M rs. astle I have so m ethin v e r , C g y ’ im ortan t to sa b ut I ve k e t utti n O E p y, p p g , ’ an d utti n oﬂ ou k n ow for a lon tim e ast. p g , y , g p

. ff v M rs. Castle ( archly) Puttin g o the e il ’ da ir ohn I s a ve r b ad hab it ! y . S J t y h i Si r John (qui ckly) . T e evil day ! Then t i s to b e an evil day ! Bless m y soul ! the ver thin w as af raid of an d the ver y g I , y

reason did k ee uttin off. A n evil da I p p g y, m then , bless y soul u M rs. Castle (dem rely) You are ve ry ’ m yste rious ! I really have n o idea whatyou re

talk in g about. ’ d a wh Si r John . N o i e at I m talki n g ab out? w h on m o rd t at be ats all . thou ht a Up y , I g wom an always kn ew what on e w as drivin g ’

at. ell well ! n eve r m in d th at I ll tr W , y ' an d e lain N ow loo k he re ou ve ot a xp , Y g r ve y charm in g n iece .

M k . ? rs. Caste (much taken abac ) N i ece

26 Pickle Juliet

She m a ha h k n y ve don e so , b ut she as n ot ta e m e in to he r con ﬁden ce . ’

Si r ohn . Ah Th n of course she hasn t J e . e actl ! So sh all ce rtainl ut m s o k e x y , I y p y p h in t e wheel . ! w r . i ohn ould n eve M rs Castle . S r J I have b elie ved it of yo u ! N o r have I eve r b ee n m o re aston ish ed o r m o re ain e d , p t B l ! w hat Si r John ( m uch star led) . ess m e ’ on e a rth s the m atte r Wh at are you ’ asto n i she d a t o u re talk in n o n sen se m Y g , y ’ ’ de ar la d ou ve on e o ff our he ad I m y ; y g y , afra id ! whi h astle ri m l . ho e so I n c M rs. C (g y) I p c ase I m ay have m isun de rstoo d your m e an

in . B ut if a m in m sob e r sen ses ou a re g , I y , y delib e ra tely plan n in g to un de rm in e the happi n ess o f tw o in n ocen t yon g peo ple e i i n s ? r Si r John . Un derm i n the r happ e s A e yo u talk in g o f M i ss J uli e t an d B ro ughton I un de rm in e th e i r h a in e ss I n what w a pp y , if yo u ple ase w h m o f M rs. astle . B com in be t e en t e C y g ,

co urse .

Si r John . Com i ng between them I ’ Yo u a re ce rtain ly ravin g the re s n o do ub t o f

that. ! T h ’ — h ! a tle . h en m sure o M rs. C s 0 I ’ ple ase don t b e so an g ry ! ( feels for her ’ ha k c u r o r a rdon n d er hi ef) . I m s e I b e g y u p ’ v e r hum bl if ou didn t m e an th a t b ut y y, y , ’ do n t kn o w w ha t ou do m e an in the least I y , F ang Juli et 27

i r h la d fo r S o n an i ousl . M de ar J ( x y) y y, ’ ’ oodn ess sak e don t be in to cr ! n ever g , g y I k n ow what to do when a wom an cries ; feel so un com m on aw w a rd ou kn ow an d k , y ; ’ h r t e e s n o thin g to cry ab o ut. M y m ean in g was lain en o u h should have thou ht p g , I g I w an t to hurry up those yo un g pe ople to m a rr an d tak e them selves off so as to le ave y, ,

the ﬁeld cle ar for you an d m e .

M rs. Castle ( bewi ldered by the sudden re o an d m e acti on ) . You an d m e Y u

Si r ohn ta ki n her ha nd . Yes to be J ( g ) , ’ sure —Wh n o ve clim e d to the to o f , y t I b p ’ the hill e ssie an d I ll soon be oin do wn , J , g g , an d if yo u w e re the re to gi ve m e a han d n o w an d then m de ar an d a sm ile som e tim es , y , , ’ w ell it w ouldn t seem so stee ! T ell m e , p , n o w ! Will ou be the re essie ? y , J ’

M s. h ! I ll r astle . Yes o es C , , y b e th e re ! B ut I tho ug ht from what y o u said j ust n ow it w as Juli et you we re thin kin of— to m a rr m e an g y , I ? m Si r John ( electriﬁed) . Juli et I arry uli et a chit lik e that ? Bless m J , y ’ soul I d n ev e r hav e g iven a thoug ht to th at ’ child if she d b e en un a ro ri ated ten tim es , pp p ’ ove r ! I m arr uli et ? N o m de a r I d y J , y , k n o w b ette r th an th at, an d so w ould she , de pen d upon it ! ' w n M rs. astle . O h don t k n o o e n ev er C , I ; ’ ! ut c an tell . A h o hn b I m la d , J g ’ it isn t ulie t oucare fo r he ha s liffo rd J y S C , 28 F i ckle Juli et

who is fai thful an d so w h h r so , pati en t i t e ca rices an d h ave n o o n e an d ofte n feel p , I , lon ely. Si r John ( tenderly) Lon ely ? Poo r J essie ! poo r little w o m an ! B ut you sh all n eve r b e ’ ’ lon el an m o re I ll tak e c a re of o u do n t y y ; y , be afraid ! (He m oves closer to her . ) ’

n l . N n o M rs. astle con te ted o I m t C ( y) , ’ afraid an d I ll try to b e a ve ry g oo d wife ! w ’ Si r John ( seri ously) . I k n o you ll b e

h h e o f wi . e li h r t at ; t e b st ves (H fts e ha nd,

ki sses it and kee s i t i n hi s. B ut , p ) ’ ’ ou ll let it be soo n essie ve r soon w on t y , J . y , ou ? The sh adows are cree in u ou y p g p, y k n ow an d w an t to m ak e the m ost of m b it , I y ’ h old fellow m sun s in e . I m an de a of , y r, ’ an d you m ustn t k eep m e w aitin g ’

M rs. astle assi on atel . ou re not old C (p y) Y , ohn Yo u will n eve r b e old to m e J , Si r ohn sm ili n ver ki n dl a nd atti n J ( g y y , p g

her ha nd . N ot old eh n o t o ld M de a r ) , y m de ar ! ell too old to tak e y W ,

an risk s at all even ts. n ter uli et a nd y , (E J Cli 0rd the start back on seei n the others ; y g , a are uncerta i n whether to escape or declare

them selves. om e w hat do ou sa to a ) C , y y ’ ’ double w eddin g ? do n t you thin k that s a ' v ery g oo d ide a ? ( Cliﬁord looks at Juli et i n aston i shm en t. F ix a date e ssi e an ) , J , earl da te m in d an d le t uli e t an d liff o rd y , , J C be m arried on the sam e day that we are . Why n ot ? F an g Juli et 29

’

s. n . M r Ca stle . I don t see an y obj ectio I t sh all b e ust a s o u lik e ohn tha t is j y , J , , if a h h r c n e rsu a de ulie t . O e a som e I p J , I b o dy co m in g . ’

i l Th w r o ff . S r ohn rom t . en e e o m e J (p p y) C , m de ar ! The o out a nd the other two y ( y g , a v c d a n e . ) u J li et ( i n a ton e of elabora te carelessn ess) . ell alw a s told ou A un t essi e w a s a W , I y y J ’ fascin atin w o m an didn t N ow e rha s g , I , p p , yo u will believe it ' ’ l r C ord. All w om en a e al ik e to m e iﬁ , except o n e you k n ow that. li w ! u et. A h hat n on sen se n ervousl re J , ( y arrang es a rose she i s weari n g . ) Cl o d sof l M h h a uli et ? r t . a av e t t izf ( y) y I , J ’ u i ? f d ! J l et. Thi s B ut it s all a de Le t o n d h m e g a g e t you an ot er .

li h on l a se . C ord. N o w an t t at e e ﬂ , I , p h ! n i s i t uli et. O v e r w ell She u n J , y ( p u i dl h rr e a nd holds i t out to hi m . y , ) ’ ’ Cliﬁord. Won t you put it in

Juli et ( as she fa sten s the rose i n hi s coat) . ’ The re ou a re th en the re s our fade d old y , , y ro se (She speaks lightly but turn s a way very ui ckl q y to hide her fa ce from him . ) h li b rd. Than k hav w an te d t at C ﬁ yo u . I e r o se all day .

uli i d. J et. You r w an ts are e asily sat sﬁe ’ li t m e C ord ver ra vel . I t se e m s n o so ﬁ ( y g y) ,

tim es. hin uli et. A n how ou alw a s w an t t s J y , y y g ’ that aren t wo rth havin g ! 30 F ickle Juli et

li ord. ell thin k am the b est ud e C ff W , I I j g — of that The v alue of an ythin g to all o f us —is the v al ue w e ou rselves ut u o n it , p p

uli et slowl . Yes J ( y) . po se so (dem urely looki ng up a t Cliﬁord) . O f ’ co u rse Si r J o hn w o uldn t c a re fo r m y fa ded ’ rose b ut he w ould fo r o n e o f A un t essie s , J d Cliﬁord. N o oub t eve ryo n e to his ta ste Wh at a sly o ld do g he i s ! ’ J ust thi n k ; th at s w ha t he m ust have b een afte r all the i d ou t m e , an y ’ didn t k n ow it

i B u o cour . Juli et ( sm il ng ) . t f se I did ' ha ? o u ? Cliﬁord. W t Y kn ew ( P a use ) uli et co m e h e re ! J , ’ Juli et (dan ci ng a way) . Ce rta inl y n o t I m g oin g to co n g ratulate Si r J ohn

it ui ckl followed b Cli ord. (Ex , q y y ﬁ )

CUR TA IN . T HE FO RTESCUES’

DINNER PA RTY .

Chara cters l Den n i s E lg ood.

Joan E ll ood. h T i m e : e presen t. ’ : - c M rs. ll oo d s i i n r S ene E g s tt g oo m .

SCE NE I .

5 - 30 e r

en n i s di scovered readi n i n a n arm cha i r . D g ,

n ter oan i n her outdoor thi n s. E J , g h r oan . ell en n is e e am at last J W , D , I uts down card- ca se an d loves A ll (p g , the n i ce eo le w e re out an d all the dull on e s p p ,

w e re at ho m e . — — M m m . Den n i s. ’

oan . ell ou don t see m articul a rl J W , y p y ple ase d to see m e ! Den n i s ( i mpati en tly) . O f course I am ’ ’ B ut can t you se e I m re a din g ? h h oan . O h se e all ri ht onl t ou t J , I g I y g you m ight have left 0 3 !

! N o a n swer . (Sighs) . Den n is ( ) O h de ar how I shoul d hate to g e t ab so rb ed in a b ook lik e th a t Den ni s ! h Den ni s ( crossly) . W at i s it ’ 3 2 T he F orte scues Di n n er Pa rty

’

oa n . O h n o thi n ! nl it s J , g O y ’ ve ry dull fo r m e w hen yo u re so tak en up w ith that silly b ook — Den n i s. Well g e t a b oo k yo urself ’ Joan . N o th an k you ! I don t w an t to re a d ! Did an on e call hi s af r y t te n oo n ( N 0 reply) . Did a nyon e cal l thi s a fternoon ’ f Den n i s. Do n t k n o w ( settles hi msel reso lutel i n hi s cha i r and holds u book osten y , p ati ousl t y) . a Jo n . A n d did the b ox cam e fro m the Sto res ’

en n i s. on k n o D D t w . h oan . O an d did al ole sen d for the J , W p ca b in et to b e m en ded ? i ’ n . De n s Do n t k n ow . h r h ou oan . O dear ! I s the e an in J . yt g y do kn ow ’ Y ow an m ak e an Den n i s. es ; I k n I c t y ’ ’ sen se of what I m re adin g when you re chatte rin g lik e a m agpie all the tim e ’ ri Joan ( i njured) . I w asn t ch atte n g ; I

w as only ask in g q ue sti on s. ’ ’

en n i s. ell fo r oodn ess sak e don t D W , g ,

’ ’ w h v an r o Joan . I don t kn o t at I e y m o e t ' ask O h ! who s been m akin g hay in m y b ask et ? Was it ou en n is ? y , D Was it ou enn is ? y , D ’ dn ak ha on l look ed Den n is. I di t m e y I y ’ r - ul ﬁn d fo you r pen kn ife . Co dn t min e

’ 34 The F ortescues Di n n er Party

i ’ oa n . ell b ut t s ver im o rtan The J W , y p t l h r F o rte scues have a o t in t e i powe r. They co uld do a g oo d de al fo r you if they felt ’ in clin ed So for g oo dn ess sak e do sm arten ourself u thi s even in an d tr o m ak e our y p g , y t y f a ree a le an d l o sel b ea ve a o d im r ion . g , g p ess e i runt ( D n n s g s i mpati en tly . Joa n ri ses an d okes the re wi th i hteou s en p ﬁ r g ergy . )

en n i s. h at are ou do in o an Wh D W y g , J y ’ can t you pok e the ﬁre without all th at in tolerable cl atter ’ m r rr — h ! oan . I ve so e n ni s But o J y y, D — be fo re you g et ab sorb ed ag ain do se ttle ’ — how w e re g oin g to n ig ht ? Shall we have a taxi o r a han som ' on r a han h w Den n i s. I d t ca e g ave hi ch ever you lik e ! h ll I love a i . oan . O we ta J , x h h en n i s. All ri t t en ha ve a ta i D g , x — ’ Y . n l h n i s oan . e e s t e t J O y, , ’ s an awful n i ht an d co uldn t stan d a uch g , I dow h h taxi with the wi n s s ut. So per aps ’

w e d b etter have a han so m . w l h ha h m ! en n i s. e r el t en ve a an so D V y , , Y — ! all ri h ! Joan . e e s g t ’ B ut then on e s hair g ets so h frig htfuny un tidy in a han so m . O ’ I thin k w e d b ette r have a taxi afte r all ! ’ I ll j ust g o an d tell M ary . (E xit)

li hi m sel com orta bl . ell Den n i s ( sett ng f f y) W . ’ n ow there ll be a little pe ace oan return i n a nd a r oachi n en n i s on J ( g , pp g D ’ The F ortescues Di n ner Party 35

— ’ ti toe . en ni s darlin I w on t in t rru t p ) D , g e p ’ ou fo r w o — do e r ss will y t o sec n ds so n t b c o , ’ you The re s only on e m ore thin g I w an t to ask ! what frock shall I w e ar to ~ n ig ht

en n i s. O h lor ! M de ar o an wha D , y J , t does it m atter h ! oan . O of course it does Wh w an t J , y , I to m ak e a g oo d im pressi on too ! The black ’ on e s n ewer b ut then do loo k so m uch n ice r , I in the pin k on e ’ Denn i s. Little silly Why don t you toss up

oan . O h en n i s wha t a o od ide a J , D , g So will ! She searches her ocket hun ts i n I ( p , her work - basket and exami n es the cu s on the , p mantelpi ece N o ; bothe r !

Den n i s. 0 h what do you want l Joan . I on y w an t som e m on ey.

Den n i s ( angrily) . O nly w an t som e mon ey What on ea rth have you don e with the cheq ue I g ave you on M on day ! m Joan . O h I on ly m ean so e m on ey to toss up with a pen n y or som ethin g . Th n Den n i s. eeli ng i n all hi s pockets) . e ouldn t you say so Here you

a r ves he a n . e . ( Gi r pen y ) h ds an d oa n . N ow then in k frock e a J , ; p , , l h h r w a roun d b ack on e , tails. N o t e ot e y b cau om how n e arl alwa s throw tail s e se s e I y y , he an d I do so wan t to w e ar the pink o n e . ( S ’ How a w ull o ses . h i s h ads after all f s ) O , t e y ’ 36 The F ortescues Di nner Party

’ di sappoin ting A n d I d set m y hea rt on wea r in in k ! B r B ut then thin s g p ( , g ’ ought to g o b y oug htn t they ? So I shall w e ar the pin k on e all the sam e ! ’ I ll g o an d put it out n ow . (Exit) ’ s r ! ho w Den n is. M y ta s W ouldn t be a wom an

SCE NE II .

( A s b efore) .

en n i s dressed for di nn er a nd i n hi s reat D ( , g ' c a u i throu h hi s wi f o t sho t n e s bedroom door . , g g ) J o an ! A re you ready ? Com e along ! You said you w e re rea dy 2 0 m in utes ag o !

. ll l oan un seen e so w as ver n ear . J ( ) W , I , y y ’ ’ B ut can t i nd an thin ! on t uss so I f y g D f . Den n is !

en n i s. F uss in de ed ! A n on e woul d fu . D , y ss Do you kn ow the taxi is here ? ’ ’

oan . ell can t hel it ! can t o J W , I p I g — without shoes A n d these shoe s o h , bother !

h ’ en n i s. ell then ut em on can D W , , p t , t ou ? n d co m e alon do ! y A g , ’ a h r i o n . B ut tell ou t e e all r ht J , I y , y g

en n is. ell sa ut them on D W I y, p ’ The F ortescues Di n ner Party 37

’ ’ u can — ! Joa n . B t I t they re all wron g Den ni s I thought you said they we re all

ell so the are stu id ! was W , y , p I ’ he r h f mg to say t y e all for the rig t oot. ’ hat 5 what I m ean t Th h ’ Den ni s. en w y on earth can t you say what you m e an ? ' oan ell ou n ever w ould let m e J . W ; y ’ ni h ! A h h re s a lef n e ! ow ﬁ s , e t o N ’ I m rea dy ! r Den n i s ( rappi ng on door) . J o an I efuse to wait an other m om en t Com e i nstantly ! ! ! Joan . Yes Yes all right ! B ut now I ’ can t ﬁn d ! Denn i s. the m You mustcom e read or un re ad om e at on ce , y y C — h ’ ! Joan . Well t ey re g on e I shall have ’ to wea r old on es—that s all ! O h !

’ he ll sm ell of ben in e enn is ? t y z , D ’

en n i s. I don t know or care ! D , ’ come Do you realise that the cab ’ an d the fare s m oun tin g up all this tim e ? — ’ can . Well b ut can t o without m , I g y ’ harm et ! an d I ve dropped it som ewhere . What a n uisan ce ! An d ’ doesn how b ecause of he a ern of the t s , t p tt carpe t ! — — ’ en n is. We1 1 a11 can sa is I m D , I y , ’ oin tele hon e at on ce to sa ou re ill g g to p , y y , ’ ’ an d w e can t com e ! I won t be b rought to ’ 38 The F ortescues Di n ner Party

’ disg race by yo ur un pun ctual habits ! I m oi n to tele hon e now do ou hear ? g g p , y ’

oan . O h don t be so sill en n i s ! J , y, D Ah ! there it i s ! N ow then ! n ow , I am ready ! The re ! an d I do think I re ally look rathe r n ice Th ’ Den ni s. en it s m o re than you deserve A re you comi ng

- Joan . I f I can ﬁn d m—y fan ( Ah ! the re it is ! mer i n . Yes here am te ) (E g) , I g’ re ad ! Don t b e cross en n is —an d y , D on with thi s ! her cloak with ma n , y u tugs and e ac lati ons) . Pest tak e the thing j — Joan . Why you:ve put it on in side out Den n is ( re- arrangi ng i t) B other ! ’ : A n d I m n ot g oin g on a nig ht lik e Do o down an d l g , te l M ary to g et it out ’ an he ru ! You re en ou h Den n i s. H g t g g to drive an y m an crazy (Exit fur i ously. ) a uts the room stra ht—then sta nds Jo n (p ,

b the i re idl exam i n i t cards etc. on y f , y , , he ta ts a n the m a ntel i ece. s s r d p S , ! looks closer at on e of them ) . O h h well ! 1 (Laughs to erself) . en n i s return i n om e alon will o u ? D ( g) C g , y ’ The ta i s een w aitin fo r a es an d shall x b g g , I have to pay g oo dn e ss k n ow s how m uch b efo re ’ w a er ect n uisan ce e ev en sta rt. I t s p f i ! h en n i s oa n sm ili n . n deed t is O J ( g) I , D . what will you say ’ The F ortescues Di n n er Party 3 9

Den n i s ( seei ng her ta ke of her cloak) . What on e a rth ’ - look d a h Joan . Why I ve j ust e t t e ’ F o rtescues i n vitation an d the di n n er- art , p y ’ ’ i sn t till n ext week ! I t i sn t to- n ight at a ll ! She holds out the card to en n i s who sei zes i t ( D , , e ami nes i t and tears i t to i eces . x , p ) A s the Curtai n descends Joan i s speechless wi th lau hter and en n i s i n arti culate g , D

with fury.

CUR TA IN .

“ O HN A RBERY’ S DR A M J E .

A R USTIC IDYLL .

Characters

A rber a ri ean veteran . y , C m

F i eld. a lab ourer.

The Dream

ohn h r . J , e son

M rs. Sm ith.

ora M e an d R ose her dau hte rs. D , g , , g

usan the farm la ss. S ,

R obert B ill an d oe villa e bo s. , , J , g y Ti m e . : 0 . Prolog ue an d E pilog ue c . 1 9 1 T 8 e . h Dream c 1 5 5 . ’ Place : The orchard i n Smi th s ( la ter h Orc ard) F arm .

PR O LO GUE .

( Cuckoo heard i n di stan ce . ) O ld ohn A rber i s seen a roa chi n li m J y pp g , p i n a i n ull alon with the a id of a sti ck g p f y g , a nd pa usi ng frequen tly for breath. Sound of f a i nt whi stli ng i s heard. )

o Thi r n o u h . ooki n hn . s b e it su e e J , g (L g

back . A ! That we re a b it of a ull u ) y p p, ’ ’ ’ th at w ere it s se t m y old ca rt a - b e atin too

( Puts hi s hand to hi s heart. ) ’ 44 John A rbery s Drea m

B ut it were worth it, so it w ere : if it ha d ’ k ill d m e it w ould a b een — ust— o see —the e , j t old lace o n ce m o re—ah ! He roans a nd p ( g , a t tl props himself ag i ns a tree . Whi s i ng becomes louder and T homas F i eld a ears . pp , with a hoe over hi s shoulder, a nd i n hi s ha nd a bundle ti ed up i n a red cotton ha ndkerchi e f : he com es ui te close to the old ma n before he

’ catches sig of him ) ’ ’ lo ! a s h h Thom as. Ul Wh t t e m atter wit u ou took b a d F athe r yo B e y ,

ohn i n a trembli n voi ce . N o n o ! J ( g ) , I ’ ’ - — n b ain t took b ad. B ut I ve a co m ed a lo g ’ ’ w ay an I b e that ti red. I m an old m an ’ ’ ’ an I b ain t ﬁt for a lon g tram p b ut I d such ’ a fan cy to see the old place ag ain . I b e ag oin ’ — o the n ion l ad. A ! I ve com e to th at t U , y ’ — w ed h o l at last. B ut I an t a sig t 0 the d ws i place ﬁrst. ( Dra h mself up and looks ’ h rou d . I t ain t c an ed n ot i n all these n ) g , ’ ’ e ars ! Wh I d used to b e here at Sm ith s y y , ’ F arm la in in this ve r o rchard tim e , p y y , I ’ w re a bo 6 0 e ars a o an m o re e y, y g ’ ’ h r ? T ai n Thom as. Sm it s F a m his t ’ hi is rd rm i h F arm . T s rcha F a th s Smit s O , ’ ’ h is M r. F ran ci s s lace . P ra s hou it ; p p , t g , ’ ’ ’ n m i h F a rm m e a rk : m ay a b ee S t s , ti e 0 th ’ ’ ’ I ve n o call to say it w arn t We ain t b een w in these p arts n ot so ve ry lon g . ( He thro s down hi s hoe a nd be i ns to unti e hi s bundle , g ) ’ ’ ell I m oin o have a b it 0 di n n er am . W , g g t , I ’

Set down , n ow , an have a bite with m e. ’ John A rbery s Drea m 45

v ( The old man sits down hea ily . ) B est set ’ on h ben ch m i ster the roun d s owe rful t e , ; g p ’ Th at s rig ht Thi s ’ ’ is oo d stuff this i s : an d hi s e r s cold g , t ’

h ff Th r r a r . te a ; t a t s g oo d stu too . e e ye e ’ Than k la d ! n o a ohn . ee th an k ee I ll t e t J , , ’ ’ o hi n b u a dro 0 tha a d b e han kful n t g , t p t te I t ’ r a b e refresh m i e h a fo . t ll m e a b t b t t I y , I — ’ ’ ’ ti red Ay ! M an y s th e tim e we ve ate a n dran k down in thi s o rch ard in th e ol d days ’ ’ ’ m an s the tim e ! an cin w e d hav e y D , I ’ ’ mi n d to o an a cou le 0 o s to ddl e fo r , , p b y ﬁ ’ n d B ill thei r n am d h d us. oe a es w as an t e J , y ’ use d to play th e m usic fo r all the jun k eti n s an d th at roun d here A y ! the ﬁddles w as ran d the w as ! g , y

Thom as wi th con tem t . F iddl es ! ell ( p ) W , I . ’ ’ don t thin k m uch 0 ﬁddles ; a po re sque ak y kin d of a n oise call them . M r. F ran c1 s n o w , I , ’ (jerki ng thum b over shoulder) he alw ays as a ’ ram hon e do wn in the arn for he dan cin g yp b t , ’ ’ ’ an d that s som ethi n li ke m usic . I t ud tak e ’ a ra re lot of ﬁddlin to com e up to a g ram y ’ ’ hon e —that it w ould 0 0 lived e re p , when you w as a b oy h h ’ h . mi li v d r an ohn . W M rs S t e e e J y , , ’ o wn ed the place ain t your n eve r he ard talk ’ ’ ’ 0 m e an m old m o h r w li v d her A n y t e , e e in the li le white house on der b ut w e s en t tt y , p ’ ’

m ost of our ti m e e re , w ith M rs. Sm ith an ’ he r gi rls. Sh e d g o t a preci o us sh arp ton g ue ’ ’ ha w om an an sh e d b e fo r eve r a - ar uf in t t , g y ’ 46 John A rbery s Drea m

’ wi h m m h r h h w d. an t y ot e , t at s e oul Se t se t the would b the hour to ether — a11 the y y g , ’ while a - ar uf in an d n v on e o f em g y g , e er ’ ’ com in n o n e are r to pe rsua di n o f th e othe r. Tim es it w ould b e ab out on e thin g tim es it wo h i i uld b e ab out an ot e r. M o st t m es t would b e abou whi ch w as b s so n s or dau h t e t, g h ’ r . M ters. A y t ey w as n ever ti ed 0 that y ’ m o ther n ever had b ut the on e child, an M rs. Smith hers w as all i rls b onn lasses the , g ; y y ’ was too . A l She d a shar on ue b ut , y p t g , ’ she w r a ri ht ood wom an an she w r h e e g g , e e t e ’ m other 0 m y Dora (lapses i nto silen ce) . Thom as Dora ! ’ ’ A l li o ra ha s ohn . m ttle an t t J y y D , ’ en ou h for m e n ow thou h di dn t set m uch g , g I store b it then worse luck w ere a y , I ’ thou htless lad an n eve r se em ed to care g , I ’ m uch fo r n on e of them till I d lost them , an d

a . w it w e re too late . (Le n ing forward ) I en t fo r a soldi e r oun m an a ain st the wi shes , y g , g ’ of them all an n ever saw them n o m ore ! , I ! n eve r n o m o re (Brokenly . ) ’ ! I a Thom as. A h Wouldn t lik e a b e ’ ’ soldi e r ! I d tak e the K in g s shillin g to ’ m o rrow , an d than kful, if it w asn t for le av in g m y old m othe r. ’ lad ou re a e r m an n o r ohn . A be tt J y , , y ’ m w i h h a m in d the e I s I d felt t e s m e . I day n ow I w en t to the w ars eve rythin g they ’ said an don e that day is sta m ped on m y m in d as clea r as cle ar. a lled aw a sudden , C y , ’ John A rbery s Drea m 47

’ was soon e r than w e d thou ht fo r in the I , g , ’ m iddl of a ha m ak in as i mi ht b e n ow in e y t g , h r F if - ﬁ e e a t is ve y orchard. ty v y rs ag o to ’ day- this very day Tha t se t up an ’ e cite d we re an felt th at ran d thou ht x I , g , I g ’ n o m o re 0 the parti n g s th an th at th ere blade ’ ’ 0 rass A —b ut it b rok e m m other s g y , y ’ ’ f he art an li ttle ora s too . He alls i n to a , D ( m use : sound of cuckoo a ai n and o hurch g , f C

’ o w h ol r Th m as (prosai cally) . O t at d b i d ’ ’ do k eep on olle ri n to b e sure ! I o ften ’ ’ wo n der it don t g et ti red 0 m ak in g th e sa m e

o ld rack e t all the while . f ’ ohn rousi n him sel . N o n o b o ! I m J ( g ) , , y ’ fon d o th e cuck oo ; it do call to m in d old d h tim es so . an ark to h ! Ay, t e m b ells ’ ’ A rk at em ! A y ! When I w e re a yo un g fello w lik e ou n ever thou ht b ut what y , I g ’ them bells w oul d ri n g fo r m y w eddin on e day h — b ut t e n eve r did la d n ever. N o m li le y , , , y tt ’ Do ra she di ed afo re I d b een lon g o ut i n ’ th e w a rs . wh it s m ore n o r ft e ar y , ﬁ y y ’ sin ce they laid e r up in the churchya rd d r ! on . T y e A y (Ri si ng) . o thi nk on it ! M y little Dora laid aw ay in the churchya rd m o re n o r f t e ar a o m oves slowl a w ﬁ y y g ( y ay) . Thom as s u l Ah ! ( t pidy) . F ifty yea r ! I t ‘ ’ ’ do e m a fai ri h i 0 i m d s e s b t t e , on t it ’ ’ - John . F ifty year an he re s he r o ld ’ ’ ’ ohn a - cum b e rin o the e arth still an a e in J , , g g ’ ’ to the n i on an all old ohn rb e r o i U , J A y g n ’ 48 John A rbery s Dream

’ to the Un ion There s n ever been an A rb ery

don e that afore . T as ollowi n him a n eaki n hom (f g d sp g bri skly) . ’ ’

N ow look e re , don t w an t to he a r ’ ’ n o m o re talk 0 the n i on fo r ou ain t ﬁ U , y t h r to w alk an o t e ste n o t lik e ou b e n ow . p , y You ust s o whe re ou are an d have a b i j t p y , t of a re st an d when ets b ack from m , I g y ’ ’ arran d ou sh all com e alon 0 m e an d m e y g , ’ an d m old m other w e ll ou u as w ell y , ﬁx y p

as w e can fo r a s lon a s ou care to sto . , g y p ’ ’ re lai n folk b ut w e ve o t a n i ce li le We p , g tt ’ ’ om e an d an w a s w e re a si ht be tter n or , y y g g oin g to the Un i on

ohn . Go d bless ou o un m an God J y , y g , ’ — bl o u ou re a oo d la d ou are . A ess y Y g , y y ’ ’ ’ I ll com e alon 0 ou ust fo r a b it an g y , j , ’ han k ou k in dl for do thi n k coul dn t o t y y, I I g — h ! n o furthe r to day . I b e t at ti red ’ I thin k if I w a s to lay down a b it I d m ay b e ’ ’ ’ dro o ff to slee an ra s bei n in the old p p , p p , ’ ’ lace an all I d dre am a w hil e of the old p , ’ — ’ days I w a s tellin you of . I d lik e ﬁn e to n es ha dre am on it. ( Thom as arra g som e y as a illow or the old m an with r h ki ndness p f , , then slowl collects the cu ha nd erchi ef etc y p, , , a nd ti es up hi s bundle ag a i n . ) ’ John ( drowsily) A y l to dre am 0 m y ’ ! — d he dan cin —an d m othe r, bless he r an t ’ ’ — ha k in an d he ﬁddlin an d M rs. Sm ith ym a , t

an d the g i rls. ’ ’ — Do ra . A n o w I w en t to the w ars ﬁfty

’ 50 John A rbery s Drea m

w an t to h ave m hea d cut o ﬁ or som ethi n y , g drea dful ha en . ora com e alon an d do pp D , g , your share ! Dora ! ? ! ’ . h ora at O h es I m com in . D W , y g ’ Com e an d hel m e ohn n w on t ou ? p , J y, y ’ ’ Let s g o ov e r th e re ! Whe re s m y rak e ? M eg ! what have yo u don e wi th m y rak e ? ’ O h ohn n rom ise m e ou w on t et k ill e d , J y, p y g ’ d ohn n tossi n ha . on t b e stu i J y ( g y) D p , ’ Do ra I dare say I shall The re ll b e b e tter en han m e k illed ou m a e ur of m t , too , y y b s e ’ that I t don t m ak e m uch odds either as , , I

h hn h w a ? ora . O o o c n ou talk so D J , y an d m e so m 1 se rable al rea dy ’

ohn n . ell I d ust as soon di e com e J y W , j , h at as sto on in this de ad- alive lace to t , p p

ye ar in an d ye ar out. I w an t to see a b it 0

life , I do .

ora sm ili n throu h tears. ell if ou D ( g g ) W , y ’ ’ w as to di e it s n ot m uch o f life ou d see is , y , ’ it ohn ? O h wi sh ou wouldn t o : , J , I y g I

’ d h a a n i hin a a John . A n t t s ce t g to s y to ’ ’ ’ ’ fellow w ha t s set hi s eart on g oin out You re

sel sh o ra re al sel sh all w om en are . ﬁ , D , ﬁ ; ’ ’ They don t see a m an oug ht to do what s ’ ’ ’ ’ f —h r r r k ! m e b est for i msel . O e e s ou a e co , y ’ on an d do a b it of wo rk ! th at ll m ak e you ’ ’ l a lo will A n don t ou fee t b etter, that y ’ fret I ll co m e b ack to plag ue you all yet !

nter M s. M s. rb r (E r Sm ith and r A e y. ’ John A rbery s Drea m 5 1

f followed by Susa n carryi ng a basket o peas. ) ’

l . an M rs. . bri sk Pu em down us S ( y) t , S , an d et to th e h a uick lass ! si ts a nd g y , q , ( shells eas vi oro N ow then w h at are p g , , ’ ou all doin ? of ou I ll b e y g y , ’ bo un d ! R ose o u d ou ht to b e asham ed , y g ’ o f ourself om in lik e that alon 0 the y , r p g g b oys. Go b ack to your pla ce an d m in d your ’ w o rk ! o ra ou ll n ot b e n ishe d whil e D , y ﬁ ’ Christm as without you put m o re e a rt in to the job . De ary m e ! what w o rrim en ts gi rls are , to b e sure !

M rs. A . who i s seated and kn i tti n . Y e s ( g) , h h ’ ’ t at t ey are I m re al g la d I n eve r a d an y . ’ ’ The re s m ohn n o w th at s a oo d lad an d y J , , g , som ethin g for an y m o ther to b e proud of w r o rth a do zen gi ls an y day . ’

. ha a u M . w m o rs S ( sha rply) . A n t y y ’ m e an b that M a r an e ? A n o n e a s as y , y J y a w o rd to say ag ain st my g i rls ’

M . A ! r rs . N o n o li a the e u st , , E z y j ’ ﬂi bb e rt - ibb e ts th a t s all sam e a s all i rls y g , , g a re n o w o rse than m o st daresa . , I y ! r t M rs. S . N o worse than m ost A p e ty thin o a h h r da u h rs g t s y to a m ot er ab o ut e g te , ’ M ary J an e ! They re the b e st g i rls in — ’ E n lan that the are - an d if the w asn t g d y , y ’ I d soo n er h ave them tw en ty tim m ove r than ’ ’ a stuck up b oy that don t thin k of n o b o dy ’ b ut im self an d hi b ack for oo d an d , turn s s g all on hi s own ﬂesh an d bloo d as cool as you ple ase ! ’ 5 2 John A rbery s Drea m

’ h ’ A . d if i m o r M rs. A n t s y J n you e m ean ’ ’ in it s a fin e thin he s doin oin o fl to g , g g , g g ’ f n r h de e d hi s co un t y an t at. ’ ! ’ . wh w M rs S . H m He d b e doin g at as a deal n e r if he left th at to o th e r folk s an d fi , ’ sto ed b e in d wi th th o se a s w an t him an d pp , a re fit to b re ak th ei r sill y hearts ove r hi m ! ’ I ve n o ati en ce wi th him n or with them p ,

eith e r. ’

A . esi . M rs. r n ed ell w e n eedn t ( g ly) W , ’ ’

o an u arrel liz a . ou re oin to k ee g q , E Y g g p ’ ’ our i rls an w a an I ve ot to lo se m y g , y y, g y ’ dea r b o an n ev er k n ow n o e ace so lo n as y , p g ’ he s in furrin pa rts : fo r fea r he g o an d g et ’ kille d o r b e s rin i n a black wif e on m on , p g e e ’ ’ 0 the se da s as I ve heard tell soldi e rs do y , , ’ n o w an d ag en . N ot th at the re s an o n e here oo d en ou h fo r m lad n ot b a y g g y , y ’ lo n w a ! Still if he do m arr on e da I d g y , y y , li k e it to b e a white w om an if so b e as coul d , I ﬁn d hi e s an w h s qual y ere . l ’ M rs. . scorn ful . Hi s e uals in deed ! S ( y) q , ell th e re ! n ever he ard th e lik e Wh W , I y ’ ’ he s n o thin o n l a fooli sh b o an d it ll b e g y y , lo n g w hiles b efo re a ny on e g o b o the rin g thei r — he ads ab out hi m , w hi te or black 1 R ob e rt. have the m usici an e rs com e ’

R ob . h ert Y es t e re over on der M um . , y y , ’ ’

M rs. . ell w e ll ha a dan an S W , ve ce b y b ’ la d. M a b e ou r wi h y , y y ll all g et on faste t the hay after it ’ ’ e M g . The re I m sure I ve don e tw ice the ’ John A rbery s Drea m 53

’ w ork of Do ra an J ohn put tog ether. Do ra ’ you re the la zi est g irl I ev er se t eye s on . ’ ou ve n o t don e hardl n othin n o r ohn Y y g , J , ’ n either ! Y ou don t dese rve a dan ce ohn ! , J ’ I m n ot oin to dan ce with ou so the re g g y , ’ ’

ohn . Y ou n eedn t be troublin ourself J y , ’ ’ ’ M e w a rn t oin to ask ou ! b e oin g , I g y I g ! ’ to dan ce with Do ra . A h b ut I ll b e ’ h r r n o r d avin g b e tte spo t an cin v e ry so on . ’ ’ ’ ust thi n k 0 b e in in a re al b attl e an d killin J , off the en em y lik e ﬂi es ! ! w ! d ’ ora . O h ohn ho cruel A n the re D , J y — ’ - h . j ust as lik ely to k ill you . O I can t a b ear ’ to thin k of it ! I f I w as a m an I d o ou oo , g t t , ’ an d then w e d both b e kille d ! A h ohn n , J y, I ’ couldn t o on livin n o t if ou w as de ad g g , y ’ you tha t s played wi th m e eve r sin ce I w as

a b ab y . ’

ohn i m ati en tl . on t talk so sill J ( p y) D y, ’ ’ o ra The re s len t 0 oo d ﬁsh in he sea D p y g t , ’ ’ an d y ou shouldn t w orry a m an so . Can t ’ yo u let m e b e O h ! I m sick an d ti red ’ of ! r thi s ob I m ti e d of eve r thin am . j y g , I ( Drops hi s rake a nd throws hi m self down i n the

h ! ’ ora . O ohn n ou re n ot ti red of D , J y y us N o ti red of ar ou t m e, e y ’ John O h ! I do n t k n o w Very lik e I am ’ v l u i re d o f ever ( ery cross y) . I tell y o I m t y r h thi ng . Gi ls do pl agu e so : g o an d talk to t e ( h rs i ! B uri es t e a b t, an d le av e m e b e ( hi s

;ace. ) ’ 54 John A rbery s Drea m

’ a f — —w — Dor ( tear ully) . I don t an t to ’ t— — — ra l t talk to n o on e . I m m m i se b e I ’ j ust wi sh I d n ev e r b e en b o rn ! ( Puts her a ron u to her es a nd oes slowl a wa to a p p , g y y f corn er o the where she sits down , and cri es i l s len ty. )

- - M rs. A . Wh look a there li a ust y , , E z , j ’ loo k at your Do ra ! She an m y J ohn m ust ’ ’ have b e en b avin so m e w o rds : she s b een ’ i vin him so m e of h r im iden ce I ll be g g e p , b oun d !

M rs. S ri n u . I m iden ce in deed ! ( ﬁ g p) p , ’ M ora tha t s m ore lik e a little an el n or y D , g ’ an thin ? N o that ain t the w a s of t : y g , y i ’ it s ohn b een ru de to her m ore lik e an d took J , , he r u sha r the w a he do tim e an d a en p p , y g . an d di d oug ht to b e asham ed of hi m self . ’ I mpidence ! I lik e the n oti on 0 that ’ u n dn la i i vel . o M rs. A . n t ell ee t (p y) W , y b e so down on a b o d ever tim e she o en s he r y, y p w a did m on th . B ut ( sighi ng) you al ys ﬂy out a t an y o n e I m in d it w as j ust the sa m e

when ou w as a i rl . ea r m e es y g D y , y A n d as fo r ohn b o s will b e b o s E li a J , y y , z ; ’ you d oug ht to rem em be r tha t im M ar M rs. . B o s will b e m en ot t e S y , g , y — ’ ’ an e that s what I look to . A n d I m J , so rr fo r an on e that am as has o t to y y , I , g ’ live wi th ohn then if he don t le arn to thi n k J , , ’ ’ ’ of othe r folk s feelin s m ore n w hat he do

n ow . ts some ( Gla n ces at M rs. A . a nd relen ’ what. There n ow ! don t w an t to b e ) , I ’ an w a s un k in d b ut I d ha ve ou to see as y y , y ’ John A rbery s Drea m 5 5

’ ’ ’ ohn s onl an or n ar bo an n o t b e so J y y y , sot ’ ’ on him an think hi m m e hin ou h , so t g t o t e ’ H a w a . e s oo d b o en ou h thou h I y g y g , g , ’ ’ daresa an he ll e t b ack all ri ht fro m he y, g g t ’ w ars, see if he don t !

e M e . o ra how are o u e tin on ov r g D , y g t g e ’ there ? What ? You ve n eve r b een cryi ng ! ’ Whatever s the m atter ’ a et l Th r n h Dor (p ti sh y) . e e s ot in g the ’ m atte r o aw a M e I —b elieve—I ve ; g y, g ’ b e en stun b ut don w an t an on e lookin g , I t y g an d b o the rin g h w ! ’ M e . O ell ou are cro ss o ra . I m g , y , D d ’ ’ sure I on t k n ow what s co m e ove r you .

( Strolls a way aga i n . ) ’

ohn li fti n hi s ace . hat s that o ra J ( g f ) W . D B een stun h av o u g , e y h : ora . N o n ot re all o n leastw a s if D , y, J y , ’ an on e s s un m e it w as ou w hen o u y t g , y , y — ’ sai d ve ry lik e you w as ti red 0 m e an d all of us

ohn s ri n i n u . N o n o o ra . J ( p g g p) , , D I ’ di dn t m e an h at n o t a b it : o f co urse t , I ’ ’ didn t ! you shouldn t tak e a fellow so ’ se rous. o m e ! chee r u an d le t s have a C p, ’ dan ce Y ou an d m e ll b e pa rtn e rs. h ! ora her face li hti u . O h o n D ( g ng p) , J that will b e n i ce Ah b ut ho w lo n g will i b e b efo re w e dan ce o e the r a ain ohn ? t t g g , J ! lon da resa ! ohn a i ri l . h n ot J ( y) O g , I y ha s m o stl co m e b ack ou k n ow an d if C p y , y , ’ ’ ’ the don t w ell th e don t an d the re s an y , , y , ’ 5 6 John A rbery s Drea m

’ en d on it Co m e on whe re s the ﬁddlers ? ’

I ll e t them to start. He takes her ha nd and g ( , they run across to the m others. )

M he r w w m u . Dora . ot e an t the si c Can w e have the m us1 c ’ ’

ull . r I M rs. A . ( m ourn f y) I m su e do n t ’ kn ow w h ou w an wi h dan i all of o at y t t c n , y u ’ ’ ’ ’ don t old with m usi c an ca e rin when I p , ’ ’ the re s partin s ab out Nex t tim e you dan ce ’ he re ohn it ll b e o n m rave m o st lik e ! , J , y g , ’ ’ I ll n o o u n o re lad h r s m t see y m o , ; t e e so e h ’ t ing tells m e I ll n ot see you n o m o re . Th e ’ li ht 0 m old e es as o u b e too g y y y , ’

ohn . N o n o ! I ll b e all ri ht m o ther J , g , ; ’ ’ don t y ou g o fretti n i M rs. S . ( bri skly g atheri ng up the pods n her ’ ’ a Th r lk ron a nd etti n to her feet . is e e ta s p , g g ) ’ all stufl an d n on sen se M a r an e th at s , y J , what it i s ! Do ive ov e r an d tr an d be a g , y ’ b it m o re che e rful T he o ll com e b ack as b y , ’ safe as a chu rch , an d w e ll all live to wish ’ ’ he d sto ed whe re he w as w on t w e pp ; , ohn N o w then b o s tun e u our m usi c J , y , p y , ’ ’ an d don t w a ste n o m ore tim e than whatyou ve don e al rea dy . I told you to b rin g you r fiddl ’ es an th at down to the field this m o rn in g . ’ Why didn t you do as you w as told

oe i . a nd B ll to ether . We don e M um J ( g ) , M rs. . O h o u don e don e ou ? ell S , y , y W th ’ en tun e u ui ck the re s oo d b o s. M ar , p q , g y y, ’ you ll have to hop a roun d with m e do your old b o n es oo d too g ,

’ 5 8 John A rbery s Drea m

Joe . Where be ye r I dunn o which tun e ’

ou re at. O h ! all ri ht : o on o rs y g g y u elf .

h . The e i n i e t en ( y b g S r R og r all da nce . )

M rs. A . B reaks a wa from her artner ( y p , i f and clutches a tree as n or breath . O h , g p g ) . deary- m e ! oh dea ry- m e ! Left m e g et m y ’ b rea th liza ! ou w as ne arl the de ath 0 , E y y m e ou w as How m o r h ar do ! , y y po e t best ’ ’ A n the ide a of a couple 0 mi ddle- ag ed fem ales ’ m akin such a ex hib ition of their selves ! ’

M rs. . That s all am m on that is ! S g , ’ — A n d I m n ot so m iddle ag ed as all that co m es too ou can s eak for ourself if ou ; y p y , y le ase ! om e on n ow an d have an othe r p C , ,

’ h : M rs. A . ( sha ki ng her ead) . N o t m e I ve

had en ou h of it I have . f ou w an t to g , I y ran ce an m o re ou can ran ce b o urself p y y p y y , ’ ’ liza Smi th tho u h I d b e asham ed o m self E , g y ’ if w as ou We ain t so o un as w e w as I y y g , ’ ’ ’ o u ll allow tha t an w a s an to o lum berin y y y , g ’ ab out m ore li k e a couple 0 the y old co w s in ’ the m e dde r the re n o ! it don t sui t M ary ’ ’ an e A rb e r I ll se t m e down an b e ave J y , , y ’ ’ ’ r m ar acco din to y ye s an feelin s. ( She does. ) h M rs. . with a si h . O w ell ou alw a s S ( g ) , y y ’ ’ w on e o se e the da rk side 0 thin s an if as t g , , ’ ou wa n t to s o il an o th e r b od le asure y p y s p , ’ ! T ’ w ell o u m ust s ose . i sten he re s a , y , I p L ! ! cart stoppin g a t the house . Susan Susan ’

Th r m n a he doo r. R un lass d e e s so eo e t t , , an ’ John A rbery s Drea m 5 9

see who it is ( Susan sets of for house . T he m usi c sto s a n d a ll the da n cers throw them p ,

selves down e ha usted a nd fa n ea ch other. x , )

l i er k n i t i n . . lem n dro n h t M rs. A o (S y , pp g g) ’ ’ ook ou he re li a it s som e thin ab o ut m L y E z , y ’ ’ J ohn ; I feel 1 t in m y b o n es. P raps it s to ’ ’ say the reg im en t ain t a - g oin out afte r all ! ’

la s s her ha n ds. A h ! d than k ea ven ( C p ) I H ,

w o uld if it w as that. I , ’ ’

. N o r M rs S . ow don t you g pe suadi n ourself o f an such thin M a r an e o r y y g , y J , ’ yo u ll on ly b e disappo in ted. B ut wha t a tim e the gi rl i s ! R ob e rt ! g o yo u after ’

Susan an d se e w hat s the m a tte r.

ora . O h ohn ! I f it was a m essa e to D , J g ’ say yo u w asn t to g o to fo reig n p a rts afte r ’ all ! Ah ! wouldn t w e all b e g la d ! ’ ohn s l l a cha s lif cro s . a d to s oil e J ( y) G p p , ’ ’ ’ an tak e a w ay what he s b een an se t hi s he art ’ on ? ell o u w on t e t the chan ce o ra W , y g , D , ’ ’ ’ the re ain t n o fe ar 0 th at : w e m en don t g o ’ an ch an e our mi n ds a he las mi n ute n ot g t t t , lik e a sill y g i rl do ’ ' M eg . That s only b e ca use you ve n o t g o t ’ the sen se to ch an ev n if ou w an t to g e em e y , ’ f r f w r o e a r of w hat folk woul d sa . So e e — y n ot as silly as you c om e to th a t ’ R os a ll illi es to e e (g etti ng up) . You re s g t uar n b a k : q reli n g . He re they a re com i g c ’ le t s g o an d see w ho it w a s a t the doo r !

( They all joi n the m others under the tree. ) ’ R o t — h r e an t ber ( breathless) . I t s t e se g ’ 60 John A rbery s Drea m

’ ll A . l . i dn ou M rs. ea er t te ( g y) D I y ,

R ! M rs. . Go on ob e rt S , ’ Th had— rd rs— o s rt R obert. ey v e o e t ta ’ — ’ to - day ste ad o Saturda y he s g o t a cart ’ ’ ’ an ohn s ot to o n ow at on ce ! Susan s J g g , ’ ’ - w n en eral a g e ttin do hi s b ag an all . ( G h “ c orus of h 3 etc etc. 0 ! , , ) - ! h . . h d a r m e W o M rs A wa ili n . O e ( g) , y ’ eve r he a rd th e li k e 0 th at M o n l b o to y y y , ’ b e to re aw a from hi s m othe r an n ot n o tim e y , r fo n ever a w o rd (She weeps. ) h r ohn atti n her shoulder . om e m ot e J (p g ) C , ’ ’ don t tak e on I ll soo n b e b ack a a m will . g , I ’ m e M . D M rs A . ( sti ll weepi ng) on t tell y ’ o nl b o to b e to re aw a an n ev e r a w o rd y y y,

M . d M a r an e rs . eve r ou m in S N y , y J You passe d the re m ark yourself as it w as a ’ ﬁn e thin g a - g o in out to defen d the con 1 try ’ ’ An so it i s a ra n d thi n ! Wh when the re 8 , g g y , ’ ’ ’ soldi e rs m archin b an a oo d b an d la i n y , g p y , ’ ’ I often feel I d n o t sti ck a t killin som e bo dy ’ m self tha t do ! The re s th e se r ean t y , I g ’ ’ ’ a - holle rin ohn ou d b est et o ﬂ b o an , J ; y g , y , ’ th d- e soo n e r it s ove r the b e tte r. Goo bye . la d ood- b e an d o d b less ou The all , g y , G y ( y ress round ohn a nd sha ke ha nds —then he p J , , ki ss es hi s m other . )

M rs. A . Ah ohn n it b re ak s , J y, m he a r so it do b ut ou— w h la d ou y t, , y y , , y ’ look as if you w as glad to g o an le av e your poo r old m o ther ’ John A rbery s Drea m 6 1

h ’ ohn carelessl . N o n o m ot e r 0 co urse J ( y) , , , ’ n o t : ho w co uld you g o an thi nk such a ’ ’ thi n g B ut it s g ran d to b e g oin out to ﬁg ht ’ ’ Th r ! h s a - shoutin them old R ussi an s. e e e — - h d a ain I m ust o . Goo d b e m ot e r oo g , g y , g ’ ’ - ! by e ! an tak e care 0 yourse lf . Goo d b ye t F ai n t m i li tar m usi c heard. He s a rts o ( y f , the others followi ng cheeri n an d wa vi ng ha nd~ c Hi s m other l we i n but she too ker hi efs. i s S tf ep g wa ves her handk erchi e . ora i s la st ha vi n f D , g stopped to choke ba ck her sobs : she calls a fter hi m — ohn ohn ! sa oo d- b e a ain ) J , J y g y g , ohn ! He does n ot hear a nd she be i n s to J ( , g run sti ll calli n — ohn ! o hn ! Her voi ce , g) J J ( ! h ! ! di es a way i n the di sta n ce) . J ohn o J ohn

E PILO GUE . ohn A rber a wakes a nd stretches out hi s (J y , “ arms . A ! he re b e ! did e call m e ) y I y , ’ Do ra He re I b e ; here s yo ur J ohn ! He rubs hi s e es an d a ears reatl ( y , pp g y bewi ldered then stum bles to hi s fe n d tak , et, a es te looki a few s s n thi s wa an d that. hurch p , g y C bells an d cuckoo are heard a ai n an d the g , sound of whi stli n an d i n a m om en t Thom as g , F i e c H u eld turn s th orn er . e com es p to old

ohn who looks at hi m wi th di m e es. J , y ) John : Whe re b e m y Do ra Have ye se en ’ ’ m lass oun m an ? he w e re a callin an y , y g S ’ ’ ’ llin ust n ow an can t m ak e out w here j , I grie b e , ’ 6 2 John A rbery s Drea m

’ o Thom as (g ood n aturedly) . D n t you w orry ’ ab out n o o ra o u ve b een aslee o u have D Y p , y , d ha d a b i of a dre am sam e as ou w an t , y as w an tin g to do this di n n e r tim e . A n d n o w ’ h ’ you re com in g o m e alon g 0 m e . ( T a kes hi s

f ? John ( wi th eeble i n dign ati on ) . Dre am I t ’ w a rn t n o dre am tell e hea rd he r — as , I y I , —’ ’ lain as he ar them b ells I m a - co m in p I , ’ ’ Do ra ! I m a - com in Th r r ! Thom as soothi n l . e e the e om e ( g y) , C ’ on n ow ; w e ain t g ot far to g o . ( F eats of

e cuckoo d tant. bells are fai n t r , is ) Th ohn i n a weak voi ce . an k ee than k ee J ( ) , ’ —— A y ! you te a g oo d la d ’ ’ — ’ — An I m gla d the re ain t far to g o : I — ! f ’ — b e that ti red ( M ore eebly) . A n it b e ’ — ’ g etti n so da rk all of a su dden ; I can t ’ ’ — n — ardly see . M ayb e I ll o t b e o —m ora n — m able t see y D ot to see y Dora . ’

Thom as. N o n o ! ou ll see he r soo n , y ’ ’ ’ en ou h n o fe a r 0 that. ou re oin g , Y g ’ r i h to e r ou are ! st a g t , y T e di sa ear throu h the ate ohn ( hy pp g g , J ’ cli n i totteri ng a nd g ng to Thom as 3 arm . B ells : di e a way Cuckoo has ceased. Hidden voi ces si n ard ti m es come a a i n g H , g

n o m ore. O i t ! — [A ltern ati ve en di ng for use on an i ndoor sta e —or i n a arden i a curta i n can be g , g f arra n ed. ohn i n thi s case tri es to et u but g J g p, nds hi m sel too f ﬁ f eeble and si n ks back . ) ’ John A rbery s Drea m 6 3

’ Th r r ! d wn . e h a Thom as e , t e e L y o , an ’ g et yo u to sle ep ag ain ! Y ou w on t av e n o ’ ’ n ee d to o to o ur o ra I m thi nk in —m o re g y D , , ’ ’ ’ lik e she ll b e com in to you . She ain t far o ﬁ s a n ow ( He tr ighten s hi mself. ) ’ ar ? h ! ad John ( fee bbz) . N o t f E I m g l she ’ — ’ b ain t far I b e that tire d. A n it b e ettin , g g — ’ so dark so da rk . M ayb e I ll n ot b e able

o r . ho u t see m y Do a (He lds o t hi s arms) . ’ ’ I ll n ot b e able to se e er . (Hi s voi ce di es a wa an d hi s arm s dro y , p ) ! ’ ’ Thom as. Never y o u fe ar Yo u ll se e e r l h a . h ain . en ou B ells less f i n t oo r p g ( ) E , p l f ’ o d ch ap ! (Stoops a nd eels John s heart. ) ’ ’ r I eck o n e es se e n e r al re a dy . Go d ble ss ’ ’ im ! Go d bless im ! ( Stan ds looki ng at h Jo n bells peal out. )

R T CU A IN.

6 6 T he P .Gs .

’ o ell don t sta out too la te K i tty ( fl) . W y ’ I t 5 g ettin g chi lly B illy ( risi n a nd g atheri ng hi s papers g’ ’ m K i tt ell that s H y W , g oo dbye to an y m o re w o rk to - n ig ht B ill ! B ill ! A re ou K itty ( still ofi) . y y y ve r b us B ill o r can com e an d talk to y y, y, I you B i lly ( throwi ng all hi s papers behi nd the ta ble sn atchi n u a n ews a er i n i n , g p p p , fl g g himself i n to a n arm cha i r and a ssum i n a n , g i ai r of un li m ted lei sure) . B usy N o Com e ’ alo n ! ve n o thin to do an d w as ust g I g , j ’ “ wi shing yo u d co m e in an d am use m e a b it. t ’ ( K i ty en ters. ) I hav en t seen too m uch o f

ou latel ou k n o w . y y, y ’

K itt . N o ou re en e rall so b us y ; y g y y , ’ ’ aren t ou ? sa thi s is oll ! e t s b e y I y , j y L cosy an d en j oy ourselves I w on de r when the h r o e s wi k . t ll com e in . ( T akes up som e wor )

B il . O h n eve r m in d ab out the o the rs ly , ’ We re quite happy by our tw o selves (Ri ng s! l the bel . N ow tell m how ou lik ed the ) , e y

i t . ell ! lik e d it in a w a b u t K ty W I y , I wi shed all the ti m e that you we re with us. Why m ust you w o rk so ha rd at those stuffy pape rs

B ill . B re a d an d b u er m de ar child y tt , y , ’ b re a d an d b utte r ! A n d you re rath er par ti cul ar ab o ut the b utte r w ha T o servan t , t ( who has an swered the bell . ) O h ! Has the ost co m e in ? ust see will ou ? p J , y The P . Gs. 6 7

M ar Yes si r ! y . , h a r a d es ou k ow B ill . T ese e b tim n y , y ,

K i tty . ’ ’ t h ! on l s alk ab o ut bad Ki ty . O D t et t ’ ’ tim es Let s thin k of the g ood tim es we re to have when yo ur b ook co m es out ! I w an t ou to b uild o ut a roo m B ill that we can y , y, — — k eep for dan ces do say you will an d then ’ w e ll i ve som e arti es an d w ak e ev er b od g p , y y up. ’

. ill l l H . i tt B to hi mse ri m . m to y ( f , g y) ( K y) ’ ell e rha s if he re s a re a t run on m W , p p t g y ’ book an d m ak e a b i ro t w e ll thin k , I g p ﬁ , ab o ut it K i tt : With reli ef a s the serva nt , y ( , i with letters. Ah le e rs ! ort n ) , tt ( S g all h fo r ou ? The K itt t ese . y , y ( y begi n to open letters. )

’

n . w eddi g Ve ry dull an d pok ey it ll b e . I ’ ’ in h id h a certa l s an t o . B e s e s aven t y g , I ! ’ r o h . un t ag t g o in . Ug M rs H s A t Hom e ! N o t fo r m e ! B ridg e ’ a n o Drive t the J on es s. N o th a k y u Ah This is b e tte r ! Wh at ! A n in vita ti on for the Cri ck et Week

a an r r h B ill ! . th at will b e t te b u . C y O , y lovely ! l d r K i if o u B i l dri l . B ut m e a tt y ( y ) , y y, y ’ haven t a ra to o to a w eddin in ou g g g , y ’ ce rtainl can t o to a ri ck et eek where y g C W , ’ l you d w an t ﬁve o r six rag s at e ast. The P Gs 68 . .

’ h i ﬁ r itt . O t s uite di e en t b ut of K y , q ; , ’ ’ co urse o u re o nl a m an an d w o uldn t , y y , r un de rstan d. A n ythin g in te estin g fo r ou B ill ? y , y ’

B ill . sa tha t s oo d ! the K e rrs w an t y I y , g Ch ris an d m e to g o on an expe ditio n with h i in r Ho w w ould hem s oo t n A us i a . ou t , g t y lik e th at K itt to h av e o ur old husb an d , y , y o o ﬁ an d le a ve o u all b ou rself N o —I g y y y , ’ t n i s. don t thi n k I se e m yself . (E er Chr ) ’ ullo hri s o u re ust in the n i ck o f tim e. H , C Y j ’ How d you lik e to g o shoo tin g with the K e rrs ’ in A ustri a Yo u re in vited.

N k ou . hri s moodi l . o tha n C ( y) , y ? d he a a itt . R e all h ri s A n t ctu ll K y y, C y y ask ed B ill too as if he w as a b achelo r ! y , ’ k h o t hri s. ell the k n ow he s a crac s C W , y ’ (A bruptly ) Whe re s Dolly ?

(B i lly open s a letter a nd whi stles. ) ’ i c he s la i n K tty ( m i s hi evou sly) . S p y g croquet with the Sm ith b o ys fro m ov e r the w ay ! ? Chri s. Still h la s i ed to the K i tt . Yes wit fai r m t y , y p ’

Th r m ad. hoo ps to see b y . ey e all ’ l h ll ca ch he r de ath of Chr i s ( cross y) . S e t ’ d wh can h w re tched Sm iths cold. A n y t t ose ’ g o ab o ut the i r b usin ess ? Th ey re alw ays h i ro un d an g n g . K i oo r hi n s su ose the tt . ell t y W , p g , I pp y w an t a holida occasi on all lik e th e rest of y, y , h h r a letter us. ! wa t e €s O h by t e y ,

for u hr r i i . yo , C is ; he e t s T he P . Gs.

hri s. ell sh all o an d see if oll C W , I g D y — m ean s to com e in at all to n ig ht. (Exi t) ’ r ! e ! Kitty . Poo Chris He g en ’ B ut if he s too g ran dm o th Dolly ’ ht it ll put he r off al tog e th e r. ( Catchi ng sig ’ ’ f ill ha h o B s e ressi on . Wh B ill w t s t e y xp ) y , y, m atte r ? ’ ’ i n B i lly . What s the m atter E veryth g s the m atte r ! J ust look a t this b ill from ’ Gu s Sto res se n t in to m e with a n im y , — pe rtin e n t lette r co n foun de dly im pe rtin en t dem an di n g paym en t ! How could you dre am — of run n i n g up a bill lik e that an d b rought up a s yo u w e re too 1 What can you say fo r yourself " i ’ tt . O h B ill I m so rr ! did ask K y , y, y I — them to w ait. H ow ho rrid h w odi ous o f —o them ! They k n ew I should pay they k n e w i w h h B illy ( mpati en tly . Neve r m in d at t ey kn ew ! How did you co m e to in cur a deb t ’ lik e thi s when ou co uldn t a ca sh down , y p y ’ ha wha u T t s t I w an t to k n ow . ( F uri o sly) A n sw e r m e ’

itt . O h if ou re oin to tak e tha t K y , y g g ’ ton e with m e I shan t an swe r at all How ho w dare yo u H w da r i d ! Th u s i n B ill . o e n ee d e e t o y I , q i s ho w da re ou e t in to deb t when ou k n ew , y g , y how I f e el ab out it ’ han ak o K i tty ( spr i ng i ng up) . Y ou s t spe t ’ m e lik e th at B ill ! I ll sell m tri n k e ts , y y , I — can alw ays do th at ; an d the old silve r m y 70 The P . Gs.

— — sha re of it an d pay that wretched b ill an d h ’ t en I ll g o aw ay. ’

B ill dril . o n t talk n on sen se K itt y ( y) D , y ; ’ w ha t s the g oo d o f that ? Who w an ts ’ heroics ? Tha t s j ust lik e a w o m an ! What we w an t is ( wi th provoki ng calm ) a little plain

co m m o n sen se . K itt cor ! y ( s n fully) . Plain com m on sen se ’ who w an ts plain co m m on sen se That s j ust lik e a m a n ; an d I shall sell m y trink ets if I choose to I have a pe rfect rig ht B ill ve calm l You y ( ry y) . ’ of the kin d K itt . w on the ar o f it nter , y I ( E

hr i s readi n a letter . C , g ) ’ K itt sn eeri O h in dee d ! You w on t y ( , he ar o f it ! A n d ra how will ou reven t , p y, y p ’ ? l f don t it P a uses then re ecti vel . I ( , , f y) I ’ sell them it will sim ply b e because I do n t choose an d b ec ause thi n k ro e r to do so m e , I p p h sh o o ha a e hat w as t in g else . I all g t t t cott g t w left m e , at Sidm outh , whe re n o o n e k n o s m e , an d wh r n o e h a ri h in terfe re e e on as n y g t to , d i n an take pay g g uests. h ’ hri s holdi n u the letter . K itt w at s C ( g p ) y, the m e an in g of thi s

K i tt . O h hri s ! o u too ? y , C y ’ — h oo had tw o to B i ll . O h sa t at s t y , I y , h ’ h i ? on e . at s u r s W p, C Chri s ( han di n g over the n ote a nd a pass hi s fro m the b ank book) . J ust loo k at t ’ K r o u aw a re tha t o u d ( T o itty) . We e y y overdrawn your accoun t The P .Gs. 7 1

Kitty. O h ! I told the M an ag er n o t to m en tio n it ’

hri s. O h di d ou ? H m ! ec eit as C , y D w ell as di shon est see ! B ut ha il the y ; I , pp y, M an ag er k n ew hi s duty an d drew m y atten

i on o a i . t t the m a tte r. (Ex m—n i ng chequ e ) A for £3 5o m o re th an yo ur le aving yo u £1 87 in deb t to the B an k !

, B ill looki n over the assbook . sa y ( g p ) I y , K itt what o n e arth have ou don e with it y, y

sa . Ki tty . I declin e to y ! B illy . Non sen se you m ust say . ’

K i tt . M ust in deed ! The m on e s m y , y y ’ o wn an d w on t sa —N o w ! , I y ’ l m ! r ﬁn e ! Chri s ( sarcasti ca ly) . H Ve y e speci ally as m o re than half the m on ey is the ’ B ank s ! ’ don b e a fool K i ! ust B ill . o m e t tt y C . , y J tell m e qui e tly wha t you have don e with the

’ w ! ld ou so - an d K i tt . on t to y I I y , I ’ don t m e an to . K i ou m ust for till k n ow B ill . tt y y , y ; I ’ all ab o ut it I shan t lift a ﬁn g er to help you

A n d who w an ts ou to ? can K i tty . y I ’

don t w an t o ur hel . g e t out of i t m yself . I y p ’

I o n aw a as sai d. m g i g y, I ’ r a e rfect idiot ! O f B ill . K itt ou e y y, y p co urse w e sh all h ave to g et you out of this 72 The P .Gs.

’ h n she s m ade a ean b f Chri s. W e cl reast o

K itty ( scorn fully ) Clean b re ast o f it ? to ! i a wa a ou . Pah turn n nd addressi n y ( g y , g

B ill onl . ou can sa wha ou l a y y ) Y y t y p e se . ’ b ut I ll b e beh olden to n either of you I shall o to Sidm outh to- m o rrow an d adv r for g , e tise — ’ payin g g uests I don t care a scrap whethe r

ou lik e it o r n ot. A n d ver deli beratel y ( y y, ' watchi ng for the eﬁect) I sh all have Di a n a L oveday ; she ask ed us to let he r co m e as a payin g guest last year. i ll f B y ( spri ngi ng to hi s eet) . That wom an he shall n ever en ter m y house

i tt . B ut ou see it ha en s n ot to b e K y , y , pp ’ your house it s m i n e ll ’ B i . hether it s m house or ours y W y y , I ’ w on t stan d by an d see you m ak e such a fool r of you self . ’ K it i ell do s an d b ! o af r W , n t t y g te our gustri an am e b oth of ou an d a ood y g , y , g too B il ui tl h ? ly (q e y) You m ean t at. K itty You w an t m e to g o ’ f cour ! ra o b oth of ou K O se p y g , y . an d e so on e r the b ette r ! N o doub t you w You ill b e g lad to g e t ri d of m e . are g o in g

B i f u h i hri s bow . lly . I yo wis t ( C s ) K h ! k care i tt rushi n back . B ut o ta e y ( g ) , ’ Billy ! don t g o in to dang er !

N ot that it m atte rs, o f course

7 4 The P .Gs.

’ Ho w this do m ak e ye r b ack ache - l A n such

- a w aste of tim e , too ! F ust m oto r car as com es alon th e dust la s on eve r thi n as b a d as g , y y g ’ eve r. A n w ha t a la lo t the are too ! zy y , I ’ ’ m ig ht ave sto ppe d in b e d an othe r a1 f- hour ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ an it w o uldn t ave urt Do n t be lieve ’ - s a the re s an yon e up. (Rubs wi n dow ill nd ! ’ looks out. h es The re s tha he re M iss ) O , y t t ’ oveda oin u an d down lik e a ste am L y, g p ’ e i n e . ell if she ain t the uee rest ng W , q ’ ? ! - What A ll rig ht I m a co m in g . (Exit hurri edl throwi n down duster. y , g ) ( A sou nd of throat- oleari and shuﬁti of footsteps i s followed by the 5 1» open i ng 0 the th d A n t a kin s door a nd e hea of M r . hon r , y L f ll a ears. He looks rou nd care u then pp y , throws the door wide open a nd en ters bri skly . He wears lasses and carri es a hea ’ walki n g , g t f a sti ck . Sea i ng hi m sel at the t bZJ hi e o a bi t o bread a nd be i n s to ea t it loudl f f , g , y counti n the bi tes wi th a m arked sta mm er . g , Heari n ootste s he ri ses hurri edl assum es g f p , , y the stoo of a e and li m s to the sofa lea n i n p g , p , g

wn . hea vily on hi s sti ck . He sits do Dolly en ters throu h the wi ndow whi ch she leaves g ,

- — d m o rn in M i arki n s. G oo ss L g g g , Yo un g !

oll cheer ull Goo d m o rn in M r . D y ( f g , La rk in s ! I w o n e r if there are an y lette rs es u to the ta ble and la nces fo r m e . ( Go p g through a pile of letters. ) The P . Gs . 75

l ! ! Larki ns ( ri si ng wi th diﬁ cu ty ) . 0 0 0 0 ’ — — ’ You ve l left the w win de r open I can t — — — s sit in such a t t terrible draug ht The ’ r — — T u oo m s l l lik e an i ce house . ( urn s p his colla r a d li m s to the wi ndow whi ch he n p , — i s sh e n o t do wn to s see after thin g s ? om es to a le i ches a ? ( C t b and p n the lo f . ) What

N ew b rea d oun does M rs. M iss Y g , —— — — D d dan by n o t k n n n ow the d dan g e rs she expo ses us to ? ( Hobbles over to bell whi ch he ri n s con ti n uousl , g y , i u g ves n o so nd after the ﬁrst peal . ) I f I w ere — ’ to t tell you (turn i ng roun d) the eﬁect that ’ — n ew b re a d has o n on e s d dig estive o rg an s ’

i . h ra oll hast l O don t M r. D y ( y) , p y . ’ arkin s ! e re I ll m ak L H ; e you so m e to ast. She cuts sli ces of bread and be i ns to toast ( , g

’ Enter Sally What s w an ted ? — — arki n s. He re c c c onfoun d ou ! L , y — ’ Why the d di ck en s di dn t you com e at on ce ’ — — Doesn t the c co nf oun ded b b ell rin g i "F all de a n tl . ain t lik el it w oul d S y ( f y) y , ’ ’ with m e a an gin g o n to tothe r en d of it for ’ all I w as worth . I d a b in ston e deaf by n ow ’ ’ ’ if I adn t Wha ts wan ted ’ w an ! v L arki n s ( angrily) . What s ted E ery ’

t w an ! ea k ast table . hi ng s . ted ( Glari ng at br f ) ’ — — — I t s all oiso n he r oi son tell ou . p p e p , I y — p B rin g m e s som ethi n g I can e at ! ’ ? dare to accuse Sally . Poison A n you 7 6 The P . Gs.

Sally Grum m itt of putti ng poi son in yer food ? ’ ’ I ll have the law of er will ! Poison e y , I ,

oll turn i n round from the re . O h D y ( g ﬁ ) . ’ ’ r don t b e silly ! M r. La k in s onl y m e an s it s ’ oison to him b ec ause he can t di est it p , g h Go an d g et t e Plasm on b iscui ts. f r ! Sally ( scorn ully) . B iscuits fo b re akf ast ’ ’ Wh can t e e at lik e a hristi an sam e as the y C , i rest of us i t oun cin . n ter an a (Ex , ﬂ g E D a Loved y. ) o l— h ! w h l Di ana . P uf p ew Ho orrib y

’ Lark in s ! Ug h ! Let s g e t so m e ai r blowin g !

Throws o en wi ndow a nd strides u to table . ( p , p ) ’ sa n o orrid e o ok here ! can t b e in I y , p g L I g a h a d sta nds the d wit out orrid e . Ri n s n y p g ( g , rubbi her hands f i — o u L ay/ i n s. M ss L l ve day ; I m st b eg ’ h— hu tha win der if ou don t you to s s t t , y — — ! t w w an t to k kill m e ( Shi vers vi olen ly . ) ’ ’ r r Sally ( en ters wi th bi scuit ti n ) . E e s ye

laster b iscuits sir. B an s ti n down on p , ( g table . ) ’

? e don wan t b iscuits. Di a n a . B iscuits W t ’ ha s the ood of dri ed- u chi thin s W t g p, ppy g lik e hose ? We w an t o rrid e Sall t p g , y, porridg e ! Qui ck ! A n d b rin g som e puriﬁed can e su ar too ! urr u ! B less the g , H y p w om an ! ( T urn s to wi n dow and per for m s l hes athleti c exerci ses i n fron t of i t. Sa ly watc

her i li n . . g gg g ) The P .Gs . 7 7

’ a ki l d— u m L r ns. We l ; if you don t v al e y life M i ss oveda m ust tak e c—c a re , L y, I of it — — —m an o d— di s m yself . I I m e t a o in h — i t t m ei rs a l little lon e r. pp y g ( Ex , return i n i m medi atel stru li n i n to an over g y , gg g

i an a looki n roun d but con ti n ui n er D ( g , g h ’ ? exerci ses) . Wh e re s the p o rridg e What are o u stan din th e re starin fo r w o m an y g g , ll ‘ a . om an ? ell n ev e r ! N o S y W W , I ’ on e s e ve r be en an d called m e w om an ’ ’ b e fo re ! I f ain t s ok e civil to do n t do I p , I

n othi ng . 80 J on es can w ait on the pair o n ’ ’ r i - e a n o in o A she oes out. y ; I t a g g t . ( s g ) on es whe re ar e r ? o m on an d tak e J , e y C e your share of the wo rk ’ n s h r w ? j o e ( of ) . Wh at s t e m atte n o w A l a s rum blin ou a re . You o on an d y g g , y g dish u h s wi th a o p t at b aco n . (En ter tr y f

oll bri n i n toast to ere M r. D y ( g g H , Larki n s ! This toast i s b e autift hot an d ’ couldn t hurt a . N ow do eat it ! ﬂy ,

( B utters i t) . — h arki ns. Ah ! m m an t an k s m L y , y — d de a r youn g lady ! an d n ow will you do — m e the f fu rthe r favo ur of spri n k lin g a — — — little P f pla sm on p p po wde r ov er it ?

( Dolly does so. ) ’

i an a . on e s what s D J , Tw en ty past P 7 8 T he .Gs.

a h i n a . ell ow lon have D W , g I be en at m y e ercises then x , ’

on es. un n o I m sure M iss m utteri n D , , , ( g) or ca re . ’ us if o o Di an a . Bec a e y u g on too long it s ’ ’ if ou didn do as b ad as y t em at all . h — Larki ns ( eati ng) . You ave certai nly I — — — b b een 2 lon g en oug h ; an d I f hn d — it m ost dis—t— turb in M i ss ov eda 3 g , L y ; — —k in dl desist an d ——s —shut the 4 y , 5 ’ Gla es i a n a s ac s win de r. r at b k a nd knock ( D ,

sti ck on ﬂoor . ) a l h o f r ! w as i a n a c ml . O co u se I t D ( y) , h r Sally who w as in he re w en I beg an . Whe e has she g ot to ? Growin g the o ats fo r the o rrid e should thi nk b the tim e she is ! p g , I , y i house this is to a tw o uin ea s a week N ce , p y g to sta y in K in dl —I — — — ilen t L arki ns. y 4 b e s s s ; I — can n ot he a r 1 5 m yself speak I 6 I b elon as — I tho u ht ha d told ou g , I 7 g I y — — — —1 8 to the oh c h ch I g Chewin g Club 2 0 an d I have to b ite ev ery m outhful — 2 1 thi rty tim es 2 2 an d coun t every i —2 2 ul —2 6 2 3 b te 4, 5 g p , ti n ues u to 0 whi ch he bri n s out wi th reat p 3 , g g

tri umph. ) i d m an b ut m utteri n . Go t ol Jon es ( g ) , , ’ don t chok e yourself (pla ces cha i rs round ’ ’ a re si r ave e r sk ull ca table . ) ( loud) E , , y p, ’ . d ll hu the win der si r han ds ca from an I s t , ( p ’ i w m M iss ! Th e octor s s deboard. Allo e ) , D The P . Gs. 7 9

’ ’ r r r a gi ve stri ck o ders M . La kin s ain t to ve ’ ’ m uch ai r, so e tells m e , M iss ; an d I m ’ ’ a - oin to ca rr em out am ! ssa s to g y , I (E y shut wi ndow. ) ’

i an a . on t be im e rtin en t on es ! an d D D p , J le ave tha t win dow alon e ! An d if yo ur wife ’ doesn t b rin g up that porridg e

w f i ? a ki ns. ones. M i e M ss n u i n r j y , ( dg g L ) ’

M ean in all Miss ? She ai n t m wife . g S y, y ’ m onl a te m o r b utle r am hi red fo r I y p y , I , h ’ t e se ason lik e . A n d if ou ll e cuse m e , , y x , ’ M iss Sall ain t an w a s the sor of wife , y y y t I ’ ’ h - h an s ould a c osen . I lik es a b it 0 peace

ui do . q et. I l d i o Di a n a (heatedy) . A n I lik e a b t f ’ po rridg e when I ask fo r it ! I don t care ’ whethe r she s your wife o r n ot ! Yo u g o an d ’ ’ tell her I ll g et her dism issed if she doesn t u l ! b rin g it p di rect y (Sta mps her foot. on es i c ll i exit r m i Sa enters wi th orr d e . , g y p g ) n — — — L arki n sa ghl s t to ast 2 0 is d d — — — deli ci ous 2 1 M iss Youn g 2 2 2 3 ’ — — A h ! he re s tha t con f foun ded po rridg e — ’ — 2 4 n ow I suppose the re ll b e 2 5 a — — — - — - little p pe ace 2 6 2 7 2 8 g ulp 2 9 1 30 s a i n a Di ana ( e t g herself with gre t clatter) . ’ ell at last ! o e ou ve b een lon en o u h W , H p y g g ,

l ’ ’ i — al . Sm ok e s v r e alth M ss the S y e y y , ’ do ctors 1 1 all tell yer tha t 8 P s 0 T he . G .

i a n a D (pushi ng back her cha ir) . Disg usti n g ! ’ I t s too b ad ! I shall be starved if I g o on lik e

this. h at are ou l au hin at oll W y g g , D y ’ ’ Whe re s the dog Where s any dog ? Here ! R over ! F ido ! oll h D y ( la hi ng helplessly) . O we ’ haven t g ot a ugog r ! Di a n a . M o re sham e fo you A n yon e who k ee s a b a d cook ou ht to k ee a do too p g p g , h to e a t he r m e sse s. T en the onl y thin g to do

i s to b urn it. Ri ses scra i n the orrid e ( , p g p g

to ether a n d throws it i n to re . n ever allow g , ﬁ ) I

a se rvan t to see an y w aste o f m in e . n ter K itt slowl a bsorbed i n a ashi on ( E y, y , f a P ter. ) i l wh k an a loud . K itt do ou ee D ( y) y, y y p su ch an in tole rable cook K i t d rn i n v t lo oki n u . Go o m o e er y ( g p) g , y ’ b ody ! Isn t it a lovely day ? (Ri ng s ) Why do what i an a ? ook here o ll ! Thi s I , D L , D y w ea n s ov co at o uld suit you perfectly . (L er

oll who studi es the a er with her . D y , p p ) i a d wh do n a at the ta ble a a i n . sai D ( g ) I , y ’ yo u k eep such a b east of a coo k ? I d sen d ’ he r p ack in g at an hour s n o ti ce if she w as

i b rin m som e fresh K tt . O h on es ust e y , J , j g b acon le a ! Thi s is so co ld an d n ast . , p se y

. it on es. Yes m um j , (Ex ) ’ L arki n s (percei vi ng the smell of Di an a s o i h ! wha a h—h p rr dg e i n the ﬁr e) . O t

82 The P . Gs.

’ - oin h r m m es ! ain t a to sto e e M r . I g g p , ’

on es an d so tell s e r. The re s n o rest fo r J , I y ’ h f m b oo ts so the re ain d t e soles o y , t A n it ’ ’ i sn t the k in ds o f g o in g s- o u that I ve b e e n ’ k a r ow loo t n . i used to . ust e t J , (Ex ) i an a to am — ra cti si n dee brea thi n D ( j s p g p g, i idl on c i a nd si tti ng r g y her ha r) . Look sharp w ith your w o rk ! You di sturb m e a t m y ’ b re athi n g exe rcise s. N o I ll g o to the other ’

m You co m e too M r. rki ! roo . a n s I ll . , L h w o h a sh o w yo u o to d t e m . M k e a n e w m an o f you Com e alon g s a s a rki n s ollows ia na ou h r on e ( L f D t) . C ee oh ! Chri s ! Ni ce little tete- k- tete with the fai r i an a w hat ? T o a l as she re D , ( S ly , ’ e s ll sh e do a e so e u r w a n ter . e v m ee s ) W , q y , ’ ’ to e he r don t she he d o u ht o b r a h g t , S g t e t e b th e li ht o f n atu re sa m e as m e o r an y g , , y ’ o th er hri sti an b o d . B ut be tw ee n ou an C y , y m e if she w as to sto b re athin alto e he r i , p g g t t ’ w ouldn t upse t m e a g re at lot A m ost ’ on n atural fem ale calls e r ! an ts a oo d , I W g ’ ick usb an d sh e do to str , , kn o ck so m e sen se ’ ’ ’ in to e r e a d. I t s w hat ou w an t too if y , , I ’ ain t m i stak en M rs. Sall ! , y l ’ Sal y ( tossi ng her head) . O h I m n o t on e ’ ’ fo r usb an ds un l ess the re so m e thin ui , y g q te ’ ’ out of the com m on don t o ld with m en ; I , ’ n o t a s a rule . B ut ( archly) ow is it you ’ ain t suited e rself M r . on es ? y , J ’

on es. Ah o u re all alik e ou wom en y , y all the sam e : so curous ! You tak e m y The P . Gs. 8 3

a dvice an d s ck to wha t con ce rn s o u , ti y ,

’ ' ’ n o h B u f ou ﬁf wives i s t i n o m e . t I y ve ty , t g t ’ m ost lik e you ve n eve r b een able to g e t an y — on e to look at yo u wi th that face ! M o re h r lik e a old oll wo t an an thi n k on a e . g y g y , y ’ (B ell ) O w ' ! There s that dratted doo rb ell ! (Exit) a (En ter Dia n a and L rki n s. ) h r ! r w Di an a . N o pe ace an yw e e Neve sa ’ such a house ! Why can t K itty an d Do lly practi ce their w retched squallin g l ate r in the k h r da N ow loo e e M r. arkin s ou draw y , , L , y — in a lon g b reath so

- Larki n s (gri m aci ng at on es) . E x actly so — A n d then yo u exhale it so ’ —h— an e d if wi ! f it s Larki n s. H g I ll I — ’ to tak e all th at tro ub le to g et a b reath I ll ’ — o s stick to it when I ve g t it. ’ Di an a : B ut you don t unde rstan d the ’ d r i ha 5 sci en ce o f it the w on e ful sc en ce . t , W ’ th o od o f an thin if ou don t k n o w ho w e g y g , y ’ to prese rve the vital sp ark N ow I ll sho w ’ h li e w o rk on ee you Dr. B rig t s ttl D p

eti t o a . B re athin g . ( They r re to he s f ) n ter K i tt a nd oll olhi wed b all ( E y D f y S y ,

som e cardboard gbxes. ) Put them do wn Sall N o w oll , y , D y,

d r ou re all ou ht to oll . B ut K itt e a D y , y , y y g h r 1 o rder lun ch . Do atte n d to t at ﬁ st 7 T 4 he P . GS .

i ? h tt . un ch O n ever m in d lun ch ! K y L , ’ e ve on l ust do n e b re ak fast an d m ust W y j , I

loo k at the se hats.

oll . ell loo k he re Yo u tell m e w ha t D y W , ’ ’ o u ll hav e fo r lun ch an d I ll w rite it down y , a ( T a kes up pen cil a nd p per. ) i h h h ’ h itt . Yes all r t ! O t at s ra t e r K y , g , n i ce ! on es b rin m e a lookin - lass will J , g g g , ? o s i s clea i n t ta ble o ou ne who r he be s. y , g , y ) l ’ Dolly ( rappi ng with pen ci ) . There s the ’ cold beef : w e d b e tte r have that don e up h som e ow . Yes i would o adm irab h itt . t l wi t K y , g y ’ m blue frock woul dn t it oll y , , D y ’ h h rd Pi Dolly . S ep e 5 e ’ K N o — n o h sh herd s laid—I itt . t t e e y , p p said the blue on e . said —shall— he Dolly ( i n ci si vely) . I t — — — — ’ — be ef b e m ade in to shephe rd s pie h s hin k so ! A n d i tt va uel . O e t K y ( g y) , y , I lik e this o n e b ut it w an ts trim m in with a I , g ’ diﬁ r lour don ou thin k ? e en t co , t y ll R hub a b ? Doy . r h ! ole - colour e rha s i tt . O n o m K y , , p p ’ h ou re ho eless ! oll . O K itt D y , y, y p w o m an ! B ette r let m e Di a n a . Bless the ate o ur bashed u o rde r lun ch . H y p w holeso m e n uts an d m esses Give me g ood , peas an d b e an s. B an s ? ith the — re atest L arki n s. e W g g

i ha ? D an a . W t T he P . Gs. 85

h ! — h ! — Larki n s. O N n o t in g N n othi n g a t all

(B ell ri ngs. ) ll Who can it be Do y . i t (j on es exit to hall . K ty a nd Dolly m ake a ver ha l - hearted attem t to clear the l y f p f oor . ) haw i n . r. on es ( an n ounc g) D S . ! r t h od m o n in Dr. h K it . O Go S aw ! y g , ( They sha ke hands : Sha w shows throug hout obvi ous adm i rati on for K i tty . ) ’ in M i o da haw . ood m orn ss ve . S G g , L y I ve ust com e ov e r a s ou ask e d m e j , y ’

h n M iss da . i K i tt . O I m o t ove an a y , L y D , ’ u didn e ou w re e yo t tell m y e xpec ti n g Dr .

Ho w do o u do D r. haw ? i ana . S Wh D y , y, K itty I th ought yo u k n e w b y this tim e that I alw ays put m yself in the h an ds of th e lo cal w docto r the m in ute I g et to a n e place .

A n e cellen racti ce . Sha w . x t p c F o r h doc r ! Larki ns ( sotto vo e) . t e to o uld ou lik e to o in to th K i tty . W y g e drawin g - roo m B l s ou n o Putti n out her iana . es D y , ( g ’ do ctor how s the ton ue ? ton ue . ell g ) W , , g

ha w. A h rett b a d M iss o v e da S , p y , L y , pre tty b a d ! Le t m e fee l your pul se . (F eels ’

ulse but ha s es on l or K i tt . Yes I m p , ey y f y ) gla d you calle d m e in in tim e ; yo u w an t a

- u tho ro ug h ton in g p . — ha e a l—lo ok at m e doctor L arki n s. H v , , ’ will yo u whe n you ve don e with he r. 88 The P . Gs.

t i n — Shaw ( a k g out watch) . Certainly cer tain l ! T o i a n a but watchi n itt . Yes y ( D , g K y) , — he ul se i s ve r un stea d ve r un s ea d : t p y y, y t y n o cause fo r alarm , b ut care n eeded, an d

w a chfuln ess. Yes m ust sen d o t , I s roun d fo r ou to ta e an d looki n at K itt y k , ( g y) ’ ’ I ll lo ok in to- m o rro w an d see ho w you re

e ti n on . Than k ou ! than k ou ! N ow g t g y y , ’ sir ! (He eels Larki n s pulse and i i li . f t ll ton ue x o n . g D y , g gg g ) K i tty ( turn i ng round from ou lik e this ever b od ? y , y y ’ Dian a . Outlan di sh You d b e m obbed in

ha w orsa ki n arki ns with a esture S (f g L g , i i t di sm issi ng h s a lments as n o hi ngs) . I f yo u will ardon the li b e rt I thin k it ravi shin p y , g q uite ravishin g . ’

Th v r r h w . f D . a K i tt . at 5 e n ice o ou S y y y , ’ ’

I ll k ee th at on e an how . i an a ou re n o p y D , y ’

m n r . w raid j udg e of i lli e y ( T o Sha ) . I m af m ust run aw a n o w ood b e ! I y , g y h ha w. Ah ood b e ! an d looki n wi t S , g y ( g ’ di staste at Dia n a a nd Larki ns) I m j ust o ﬁ too . it K itt . Goo d b e M i ss oveda ! (Ex y ) y , L y ’ - I ll loo k in to m o rro w ab o ut the sam e tim e .

Goo d- m o rn in si r ! it g , (Ex ) h i an a N ow fo r a toddle . o m e w it m e D C , ’

. rk o M r La in s it ll do you g o d. La rki n s (gri m a ci ng hideously behi n d her ac - ! w alk 5 1 —5 1 b k) . E x actly so B ut I

’ don t you k now The P . Gs. 8 7

- i an a ea erl . er w ell o ff then D ( g y) V y ,

- Larki ns ( sm i li ng) . E x actly ’ A h w ell w e ll tak e it e a sy . xeun t arki ns an ci a n d ri m a ci n ( E , L pr ng g g

n ter all carr i n a tea cadd a nd (E S y , y g y , si ngi ng raucously . She drops the song and ! ’ the ca ddy on seei ng the ha ts) . O h m y a in t ’ ! ! ’ they splen did ? E re M r . J on es Woul dn t ’ I loo k a duchess in a at lik e this ? (Puts on a hat on the top of her cap a nd looks i n the ’ f r ca ! a lass. w o o t m T kes i t g ) O , I g y p ( ’ as i h oﬂ) an d m y face a in t cle an as it m g t b e .

on es who ha s followed her . ell th a t ] ( ) W , ’ ’ don t m ak e m uch o dds ! You d look a sig ht

! Sally ( tri es on a pi cture hat) . Ah that ui do wn to the roun d that do throws s ts m e g , , ’ a o m in shadde r an d ides the sm uts a b e c g , bit ’ You sto w it all o r ll h ones. S I tell t e J , y , ’ m i stress : see if I don t.

’ ’ J on es ! I m only puttin g the ats aw ay .

f t all ove r the lace the was. la s to ue Le p , y ( C p q ’ ’ on hi s head. ) O w s that suit your style 0 b eaut h y, e u im ud n t huss ! Put th on es. Yo p e y em ’ ’ k or ll e t ou sack ed as su re as ats b ac , I g y , egg s is egg s n r r at sawn e ! oo k s ll . Go o e e Sa y , y g y C ’ ’ row on ev er b ush as ou d ou hte r don t g y , y g P Gs 88 T he . .

w m si vel . w as k n o by this ti m e . (I pres y ) I f I ’ ’ ’ ’ l a r h r un dr fa ili es d to e ve e e , t e e s e ds of m ’ g o do wn on thei r b en ded k n ees to ave m e . K i tt ! o . Sall Sall y ( f ) y, y ’ Th r r a r u d a b in cau ht on es. e e ye e Yo g — i n a m in ute an d se rved yo u rig ht too . ’ ’ ’ ’ E re ! Shove e m in ui ck an d let s e t e m q , g ’ i n to the all ! ( They collect the hats hurri edly . ) ’ ’ ’ ’ - - all . I m a com in M um ! I m a com in S y , (Exeun t)

CUR TA IN .

SCE NE III .

i da la a A s betore . T m e si x s ter bout , y ,

5 p m . Larki ns is readi ng a paper i n

- — an arm cha i r K i tt wateri ng pla nts

an d Dr. ha w sta i n n ear watchi n S , g — g hen o bvi ously an xi ous to g et rid of a ki L r ns. ’

ha w . Yes I m reall roud of m S , y p y

ati en ts ui ro ud o f them . T urns a nd p , q te p ( ’ sla a h o u a ps L rki ns on the ba ck . ) We ll ave y ’ well m an in n o ti m e si r — ou re ettin on , , y g g l i s e n di dl . I m ressi vel a nd wi th i n creas n p y ( p y , g ’ em h n h pha si s) . B ut t e re s on e thi g you oug t to have an d th at i s m ore e erci se—r e ular , x g e ercise out- o - door e e rcise ! on es en ters x , x (j and fusses at

90 The P .Gs .

m co rdi al d—di rec tl o r B ill do love y y L , y, I ’ to m ak e o u sk i ! it on es . O h I d y p (Ex j ) , give a ye ar of m y lif e to tak e o ff these co n foun d wh r ! e ed i sk e s (He sits down . Jon es r

’ I m j olly

oes so a cha ir . (D , ) ! an o l Larki n s. Billy I w t t tel ’ you I ve m ade up m y min d to pro pose to

’

on es. ell ou ve m a de u our m in d j W , y p y ’ to do hat a oo d m an tim es b efo re haven t t g y , ’ o ? B ut you ve always fun k ed it in the yen ar ! h w ere Larki n s. Yes b ecause if s e to refuse m e in m osi i on a s tru stee an d so , y p t fo rth , it w ould b e a de uce d awk w ard Si tuati o n : ’ im ossible on e in fact I ve often told o u p , y so ’

on es. ell but the situa tion isn t j W . chan ed n ow is i g , t ’

h r . n o arki n s. N o b ut loo k e e I m t L , o in o ro o se to he r as hri sto he r an b g g t p p C p D y, ’ b ut as A —A —A n thon — — a rki n s don t y L L L , ’ ou n ow co ur h ll refuse m e with y k O f se , s e ’ b ut it s just possible I m ig ht ﬁn d out ’ how the lan d li es fo r the o ther thin g . I m ’ ouldn g o in g to pro pose straig ht aw ay . I c t ou sta n d this b usin ess m uch lon g er. Do y kn ow that w om an i an a has been m ak in u , D g p to m e all the week The P . Gs. 91

Jon es A n d do you k n ow that conf oun ded — — doctor tha t in solen t youn g puppy has b e en m ak in u to K it ? —o m wife hris ! g p ty t y , C ’ F eelin her ulse in d d ! lik e him to feel g p , ee I d the toe o f m y boot ! d arki n s. O h es saw it all old b o an L , y , I , y. ’ ’ I ve b een won de rin g when you d b o il over . ’ ’

ullo there 5 so m eon e co m in ! I t s oll . H , g D y ’ N ow do et ou h r d fellow an d g t, t e e s a g oo , tak e your glass wi th you ! (Exit j on es ; enter Dolly . )

oll . ! i som e ullo M r. a rk in s hav n D y H , L g thin g to b uck you up (Sits down opp osite ’ hi m . ) Do you k n ow I thin k you ve really g o t better sin ce you cam e here — — — - i arki n s. B be tter n n o w Wo rse : I , , ’ — ’ — ’ I ve I ve I ve g ot som ethin g on m y m in d

oll . O h have u ? i an hin D y , yo I s t yt g I co uld hel ou in do h p y , you t i nk — Larki ns. E x actly so ; I have i fallen in l—l—love m ean how r ! ou ro , om an ti c An d have y p pose d yet ’ a — h L rki ns. N n o I m afraid s e m ’ m i ht refuse m —a f— fello w g e , n d I m an old — — ’ an d c c c ouldn t e t ove r it ou k n ow . I , g , y ’

oll . h ! B ut o u re O oor M r . rkin s D y , p La y n ot so very old afte r all — — ai r Larki ns . A h b ut r rela tively to the f on e , M i ss Y o

oll . O h b ut so m i r like m arr in D y , e g ls y g The P s 92 . G .

’ olde r m en . F o r m art can t im a in e y p , I g how an y gi rl ca n m a rry a m an as yo un g as sh e is o r o un e r. A husb an d shoul d b e a l , y g t east con si ders ten e a rs olde r than hi s wife ( ) y , I

h ! h — — ’ L arki n s. O T en yo u W W Woul dn t — m arry a l la d o f tw en ty ’

oll . O h n o of course n ot ! shoul dn D y , , I t

dream of it. ou W—W d Larki n s. Y oul pref er so m eon e olde r d d 1 w oll . Yes in ee B ut ho is the lad D y , y, kin s D o k n ow he r M r. La r I ou w h r — Larki n s. Y k n o e b bette r than an on e else could b e—c—c ause ou y , y l s i n u - h ! ol ri n horror struck . O n o D y ( p g g p, ) , ’ m e Y ou don t m ean m e x — Larki n s. E actly i h h w dr a dful ! h how Dol . O o e O ridi cu b , , ’ k in ! lous ! R e all M r. ar s couldn t How y, L , I coul d yo u thin k of such a thin g u — aid u — e e Larki ns . B ut yo s s yo p pr f rred olde r m en h ! u —b u e —b u oll . O es b t t t D y , y , y s i ou hin k m e —c en tri c ? Lark ns. Y t cc ll h n o o f cou rse n ot —o n l o . O D y , , y only ou d—d —d s i s m e ? overs Larki ns. Y e p e ( C

and groa n s. )

un n i n to him . O h n o M r . ( r g ) , , ’ — — La rk in s ! I ve g ot g o t q uite fon d but O h What ca n I say P s he . G T . 93

T— — Larki ns. tell m e the ex act truth

l . e se (Ri si ng a nd turn i ng a way) . B ut you — m ust n eve r tell a nyon e n ot a so ul d — h — — l ou Larki n s. An d doe s e l l ove y l ’ h ! . o l . O don t k n ow si hs So m e D y , I ( g ) tim e s feel ce rtain he doe s an d then so m e I , , ’ ’ ti m es—b ut he an t re all o r sure l he d sa c y, y y

so . — ’ — Larki n s. Pe rhaps h he s af fraid of — be in refused to o . g , ’ — h oll . O h n o ! t can t b e tha for e D y , I t — ’ m ust k n ow why ! he s k n own us all our li — h r in ve s e look s afte r all ou b us ess.

ar oll Th i i s 1 L ki n s ( starti ng up) . D y en t I o l a ack Wha— at ? hr i s ? D l y ( st rti ng b ) . C — a Chri s (81 la L arki n s) . E x ctly so i ? oll . Then it w as ou all the t m e D y y ,

B ut how could it be A n d, oh 1 how m e an o f ’ you ! O h ! if on ly I d k n own ! ! ’ w ll ! hri s. A h B ut ou didn t kn o o C y , D y A n d ou re all love our old hris an d y y y C , n ob o dy else oll Y e s of course ! B ut looki n to D y , , ( g ’ wards door oh ! hris do be ca reful ! I m ) C , ’ ur d d awi n ba ck s e so m eon e s co m in g . A n ( r g ) ’

re all o h a dre a dful old be a rd. I y. c ul dn t with t t i i s ui Chri s (pr epari ng to remove h s d g se) . B o the r the b e a rd 1 O h b ut he re is so m eo n e — ’ com in I sa let s hide in th e con se rva to r . g y , y a wa ilv eun t. on es en ters an d uts s er (Ex , p y i n the i tt a nd Shaw en ter sideboard. K y by the 94 The P .Gs .

h d e other door . j on es i s i den from th m by the screen , a nd ca n n ot leave the room wi thout n w he com i g out here t y ca n see hi m . ) ’

ll dr df un rr D r. itt . e I m ea so K y W , y y, ’ ’ h m afraid e c ar less an d S aw . I I v b e en ve ry e foolish b ut n ever thou ht n e ve r dream ed , I g ,

’ hat ? uld o u Dr. Shaw . W Co n t y see w w l m sel Ki tty . N o . You see I k n o so e l y f ’ tha t I m n o t a Widow fo r o t o the r eo le , I g p p ’ B ut you ll soon g et ’ h k ! k n wn m e over it. J ust t in you ve only o a w ee k 1 l di . w k r e ar Dr. Shaw moo A ee o a ( y) y , ’ Whe re s the diﬂe ren ce

K i tt ersuasi vel . O h b ut the re is ! y (p y) ,

A n d you m ust fo rg et m e j ust as ui ckly . I have the b est husb an in the — Wo rld Dr. Shaw b ut We W c uarrelled. , , q ? w . h ! u rr Dr. Sha O q a elled ’ t Yes ! He hou h I d b e en e tra Ki ty . t g t x v a an t an d w as too roud to e lai n . So g , I p xp yo u see ( sm i li ngly) I sho uld b e a b a d b arg ain ’ even if w e re free shoul dn t I , I ’

w a I d n h n k so . Sha (gr vely) . o t t i ’ h ! w e n ee dn t K i tt . O es should B ut y , y , I a r ﬁn d som eo n e g ue ab o ut that. Yo u m ust m uch n icer than am a n d b e as ha as o u I , ppy y h w ! dese rve . Goo db e Dr . S a y , looki n Dr. ha w ras i n her ha nd a n d S (g p g , g ’

i nto . m r her eyes) Goodbye . I ve y 5 The P Gs. 9

itt str olls across to the ta ble i cks u a (K y , p p

book an d be i n s to read. , g ) ’ n a u sc een o I m the o es ( pp ea ri ng ro nd r ) . S b est husb an d in the o rld am 1 K itt W , , y ! 1 ill ! Y ou —B ill ! itt . B ill B K y y y , y B ut—are o u on es m e an w as on es y I , J on Th r B ill bowi n . e late M r. on e s at ou y ( g) J , y

! d o w r l sten i n ! Kitty . oh A n y u e e i g ’

B i ll . ell couldn t hel he arin of y W , I p g , course : the re I w as caug ht lik e a ra t in a ’ d d r all tra an couldn t et aw a . An ou e p, g y y y ’ thoug ht I d g o an d le ave yo u to yo ur own devi ces oo r little thi n ? N o t ! So , p g I I an swered our adv ertise m en t fo r a servan t y , ’ an d I w as in a blue funk lest you shouldn t r tak e m e . B ut I k n ew What a w a m littl e he art ou had so thou ht the a e al in m y , I g pp y ’ r w o h d i did didn lette uld fetc o u . A n t y t , ? i th e it W a chan i n hi s voi ce . B ut sa ( g ) I y , ’ you m ig ht h av e le t th at po o r chap k n o w yo u d a g o t husb an d fooli n g a roun d so m e whe re .

i tt . ell b ut ho w could im a i n e he K y W , I g — w as g oin g to propo se an d b e fo re I ha d k n o wn him a Week , too i ll so el w . w o r B . m br it la ha A eek a y ( y , S ) ’ e ar —whe re s the diff e re n ce I soon saw y , whi ch w a y the Win d blew ! Poo r fellow ! ell n ev e r mi n d ! B ut look he re K itt W , , y, ’ ! I k n o w all ab o ut that m on ey n ow . Lo r ust a lo a to a oo d- fo r- no thin b rothe r J n g g , 9 T he P 6 . Gs .

an d w e tho ug ht it ha d all g on e in b all g own s an d ha ts an d g oo dn ess k n o ws w hat ! B ut ’ w hy didn t you ask m e to help the sill y ass ? h ’ K i tt . O coul dn t Yo u w ere so fri ht y , I g full w o rri e d ust then ab o ut o ur n ew book y j y , ’ — h r I re ally co uldn t bo t e you . ’ ’ i ri h w sn i ? B ill . ell t s al l t n o i t t y W , g , ’ An d J ack son s ha v e gi ven m e splen did te rm s r h h fo r the b o o k . I he a d fro m t e m t is m om in g . So n o w Chri s an d I will chuck up o ur b e astly disg ui ses . i a ar K tty . Chri s Chri s Wh t on e th has ’ Chri s g o t to do with it He 5 in A ustri a h ! h ? ! B ill . O is e i n deed I n A ustri a y , Wh at pri ce g o o d old A n tho n y La rki n s a chasin g of the b old b a d b e a r

a - ! K i t Wh at . A nthony Larki ns ’ You tyon au hi t m e an to say . (L g ng ) An thon y La rk in s ! O h de ar! O h dea r ! (L aughi ng ) I shall n ever g et o ve r it ! — — i au hs eal a fter eal . Then recover n (L , p p g g — herself) Then of course n ow I can chuck h ’ d h e P . s o nd i ve all t G an g om e . A g S y n otice ! B the w a B ill how coul d ou y y , y, y stan d Sally l You an w B i l y . c stan d a g oo d deal hen '

ou ve a little Wife to tak e care of K itt . y , y ’ B ut sa he re s i an a ! He rem oves hi s , I y , D ( ’

whi skers etc. You e t aw a an d I ll in ter , ) g y, ’ ! view her . What a shock she ll have She ’ hin k s I ve on K i t g e to A ustria . ( Exit tty ;

98 The P . Gs.

s fo r i an B ill sm ili n al o . Got a tun e a y ( g ) , D fai to wh o h i an a . l see u ask t a D I y y t,

illi am unl ess o ut o f ill n ature . He is W , rath e r inﬁ rm at presen t ’ T h ha B illy (jumpi ng up) . hen e can t ve run fa r : I expect I can hun t him up fo r yo u . i Goi n to door turn s back . B u t sa an a ( g , ) I y , D , ’ you ll have to b e look in g o ut fo r o the r ’ uarte rs o u k n ow fo r I m o in to tak e m q , y , g g y ’ h h r Wife ho m e . I m n o t g oi ug to ave e ’ — i ! ! h r ! ta k in g P . G s n o t l k ely O e e she is

i t whi stli n . n ter K i tt . ell (Ex , g E y ) W . ’ i an a w e ren t ou sur ri se d to see B ill ? D , y p y F in d him pretty chee rful r ! r h Di a n a . Dete sta ble a s e ve Ce tain ly t e m ost di sag ree ab le m an o f m y acquai n tan ce . ’ Wh at yo u can e ve r have seen in him I can t

im a i n e . A n au ho r too li vi n fro m ha n d g t , , g to m o uth ! N ow A n tho n a rk i n s w ith an y L , establi shed in co m e Wha t a di ffe ren t ictu re , p ’ h an O f co urse e s full o f fads d fan ci e s, b u t a stro n g - m in ded Wife co uld e asily k n ock the m o ut o f him . r o K i tty . A e you g oin g t un de rtak e the task r r Di an a ( bridli ng) . I thin k M La kin s fee ls — ho w g oo d it w oul d b e fo r him ( sudden ly seei n a ll who has en tered slowl readi n g S y , y , g the postcards a m ong the correspon den ce she i s bri n i n i n a nd has ust com e to a stan dsti ll g g , j , uite ? q a bsorbed) . Sally ! How dare yc u What do you m e an by such con duct ? The P . Gs. 99

— all t r vi w ! - I ~ I S y ( s a ti ng olently) . O I ’ ’ ’

w . asn t sure on e of e m w asn t fo r m e , 11 1 8 8 ’ i a n a contem tuou sl o n e l es ! D ( p y) . D t t l li ’ I t doesn t im prove m atte rs. A n d the le tters

o ug ht to have b e en he re an ho ur ag o. I su ose o u e re o i in wi h he o tm an pp y w g ss p g t t p s .

an d hi n de ri n g hi m in hi s duti es.

Sally . M e g o ssip ? I alw ays m i n ds m y

o wn b usin ess, I do . ’ i a a h h w re do in D n . Y es T at s W at you e g ’ as ou cam e in w i s h a fo r me y , asn t t I t t T a kes a letter — looks sur ri sed a t the ha nd ( , p — wri ti ng an d reads with an expressi on of i g row ng sati sf a cti on . ) ’

K i tt . all d im r i n en t ! Go S on t b e e t . y y, p to the k itch en ’ i ’ all wi th a ri m a ce a t i an a . I m a o n S y ( g D ) g , m um n eve r fe a r ’ Ki tty ( seei ng a f atuous smi le on Di an a s

ace . h at ha ve ou ot the re i an a ? f ) W y g , D ! l r f o m Di an a . A propo A he m A ette r Geoff re e an —de ar old Geo ffre after all y D y, these years h r i Ki tty . O h do let m e ea t a Di an a ( re di ng) . e ar i an a D D , t is a lon tim e sin ce he a rd of ou b ut I g I y ,

I ho pe you a re very ﬁt an d Well . I have a ve r ouri shin dro here w hi ch a s y ﬂ g Hy , p y i n ts a r all m e m oderately Well . M y pat e e com fo rtabl o ff an d do n o t w o rr m e y , y d u a Wife w o o uld k e the un uly . B t h w ta G . 1 00 The P. s

household cares on he r shoulders would be w w d a g re at help to m e . Ho oul you fan cy the post We alw ays w en t straig ht to the in ou an d so m ak e n o a olo for po t, y I , I p g y an n r of uttin it — b ut let m e k n ow m y m e p g , a on You k n o w hat am - so will t ce W I , I n ot w aste g ood in k an d pape r in tellin g u an d k n ow What ou were n o t so yo ; I y , ’ l n a o an d it s ft to on e a ain st our o g g , ﬁ y g y ’ h e e r chan in . B ut if ou wo n t c an e v g g , y g our w a s o u m i ht ch an e o ur n am e y y , y g g y ; an d What do you thin k of Di an a Dean “ ours e e r Y y ,

GE OF F RE Y . How lik e Geo ff rey How justlik e Geo ffrey i Pa h m a ! K tty . ys im oder tely Well ’ n l moderatel ! don t lik e th a t N o O y y I , Di an a ! I f I could an yhow lan d the La rkin s ’ salmon I w ouldn t b o the r ab out a li ttle m i n now lik e Geo ﬂre — thou h he m i ht do y , g g i l — u oss b a te de m i eu . a rki n s i s d p y, f x (L hear ’ c u hi n . h ! Th r o A e e s M r. arki ns com in g g ) L g , ’ so I ll le ave the coast cle a r (Exit) i an a as D ( Chri s en ters) . Do tak e pity o n ’ m e M r. a rkin s ! I m all al on o l . , L e ( g i ng) hr - i s. C E x actly so .

i a n a atti n so a . om e an d sit he re D (p g f ) C , ’ M r. ark i n s I m feelin ra he r down an d L , g t , e rha s ou co uld chee r m e u a li l p p y p tt e .

hri s. e rtain l ! sitti n vi C C y ( g down hea ly . ) — — With the g g rea test p pleasure

1 02 The P . Gs .

wh r ! h d hi n ! Di a na . Else e e I s oul t k so The sam e roo f shall n o t shelte r us bo th an othe r hour ! le ave in stan tl ou rude I y, y , — hateful , in tole rable cre ature ho rrid, in sul t in g b rute — — our ! l Chri s. C c c alm y self I sha l t — — tell n o o n e of your l li ttle m m istak e about h t e ye a r. ’ ou ha ar i Di an a . M i stak e I t s y t t e m ak ng ’ the m istak e ! I d have you to k n ow tha t I rec eived an o ffe r of m arri ag e thi s very day fro m an old fri en d— a m an wo rth of the , y n am e n ot a h oc on dri acal w rm ! A n d , yp h o ’ I ca n tell you you re n ot ﬁt to black hi s ’ boots 1 Wh w ouldn t ick ou u with the y, I p y p ton g s ! - l Chri s ( backi ng towards the door) . E x act y — i h h so . D d el ted to e ar i M adam g t, ’ h i an a . A n d I m w ri in o acc e t im D t g t p , an d will shak e the dust of thi s hateful place oﬂ m y fee t b efo re I am an hour older . Chri s ( outside but with hi s head round the - ! door) . E x actly so (Exit) Di an a ( calli ng to Sally a nd ri ngi ng the bell

! . m vi olently) . Sally (Enter Sally ) Pa ck y b ox in stan tl — this m in ute 1 have b ad n ews y, I from ho m e an d m ust le ave he re to- ni g ht : ( sta mpi ng) Do you he ar ? (Exit) ’ h h ar 1 A ddr n all . O es M i ss e essi S y , y , , I ( g ’ ’ of Di an a s retrea ti ng f orm) . What s the g ood er ﬂi n u i w as n w from om e y stu g m e p t e s f , ’ when I kn ows it w as the old g en t ? You ve he P T . Gs. 1 03

’ ’ ad a n esca e thou h ou ave ! F an c p , g , y y ’ ’ settin oppo site a stutte rin g old po t- ook lik e ’ i h d m all t e a s o f er life ! xi t. Bi ll y y (E y , K i tt and oll ha ve a eared at the wi n dow y , D y pp , ‘ un seen b all duri n the last s eech. hri s y S y g p C , i s u w oi n s e und i sed no them a nd all n ter . g , j , r Dolly . A e you q uite sure you have g o t rid o f he r hri s , C ’

hri s. O h e s ! I ve o t rid of her all C , y g — ’ rig ht ! A n d did you he a r th at sh e s ha d a ’ proposal fro m an old pal ? I sho uldn t ’ Wo n de r if she s rushin g o ff to n ail him to his p rom i se . A ro o sal ? Has h ? i an a Dolly . p p s e D ’ ell ! T astes di ff e r — don t the ? luck il W , y y

fo r all of us. Pl ’ m all bursti n i n rom hat . e ase S y ( g f h , , ’ ’ ’ ’ Whe re s J on es ? I can t ﬁn d im ; an I ’ ’ w an t im to carr M i ss ove da s b o es y L y x .

M um . ’ ? h I m afrai d K i tt . on e s O y J , ’ h i sn t he re Sall ! M r. arki n s h as o n e e , y L g

aw a sudden l an d tak en on e s wi th him . y y , J

all ho ldi n her heart . Go rn aw a S y ( g ) y, sudden t —tak en o n es with 1 m ! o r M um , J L , , ’ ’ ave e r coun te d th e s o on s ? O h th e v e y p , y b n an d o n e an d rob b e d o u —tak c m ee g y , y Wo rd fo r it ! I alw ays k n e w the y w as up to ! d ’ n o g oo d ( T o Chri s. ) A n you re th e de ’ tiv e o f co urse sir ? ell si r don t b e tec , W , , ’ ’ ard o n J on e s ! I ve a soft spo t in m e e art ’ for n e s thou h e wer such a ue e r old J o , g e q 1 04 The P . Gs.

’ b o dy to look at A n d e w as led aw ay by the ’ i r u old en t s o ma de en d. daresa e g , , y y p I y ’ ’ w o uldn t ave b een oo d en ou h fo r m as g g e , ’ ’ thin s as turn ed o ut b ut lo r it a s u g ; , pse t ’ m e ! I ll g o upsta i rs an d ave a g ood ’

t ll do m e oo d. i t sobbi n loudl . I g ( Ex , g y ) x—ac l — ! Chri s. E t y s so

CUR TA IN .

THEM BA NNS.

A SK E TCH.

Characters

M rs. B ro wn .

Tom J on es.

E llen .

a k h h r B c all at t e Vica ag e . r P esen t day .

(B ell ri tgs oﬂ enter E llen L : she crosses to door R i bell i'

Ellen . Bless ’ T it s you, om .

T . k r om i . You loo as f esh as a dai s I t s y,

E llen . Go on !

T om . I s the Vicar in I Wan t to see i m r ve y particle r. h i ’ h E llen . N o e sn t B u ou can , t y see t e ’ m issis if she s an oo d. , y g ’

- ! h h a d . T om ( com i ng i n ) . O I dess y s e ll o ’ ’ She can ive a m essa e to er usb an d g g , I ’ s po se . ’ h r llen . ell ou sit down . S e s ove a t E W , y ’ th hool u sh won t be lo n She e sc , b t e g ( 1 08 Them B a n ns

’ — ’ sweeps up hearth. ) I ﬁ t s see you re to be all ed in hurch to- m o rrow ou an d M ar c C , y y ’ ou ? A nn , ain t y ’ ’ So you ve e ard that ! ’

urse ave . Ellen . O f co I ’ ’ ’ e ou b een ossi T om . Oo v y g pin wi th ’ ! ’ llen . Gossi i n ell I m sure ! You E p W , ’ an d M ary An n ain t m uch to gossip ’ ee in com an half a life tim e haven t Be en k p g p y , f you ? (Stra i ktens urn iture. ) re e aded the air of ou 1 soon b e g y , p y

anx sl touchi n his ha . ll T om ( iou y g i r) We . ’ ’ ’ d n a g rey ai r or tw o o t urt. Look ’ e re m i rl w oul d ou call m e a ersonable , y g , y p

m an , n ow

re ardi n him criti call . ell Ellen ( g g y) W , ’ — es —I shouldn t call ou a b ad- lookin y y , y g d h ’ o l . A n w en ou re sm a n ed ch ap . ( C y y ) y rte u sam e as ou w as at the Soci al the o ther p, y

n i ht ou loo k re al n i ce . g , y T m ulli n down wai stcoat and sm ili n o (p g , g ’ Ah —N o t a feller a rl ud complacently) . gi

be asham e d to be see n with, eh ? ’

stroki n hi s chi n and scowli n . O W did ( g , g) you thin k M a ry An n look ed f h ! Ellen ( with a scorn ul laugh) . O She ’ didn t look lik e n othin g at all B ut then she ’ don u for look s do she ? i sten s t se t p , (L ) ’ ’ The re s the m issi s ! she m ustn t catch m e

. on es here j awin g to you ( Exit hurri edly L . exam i nes him self with obvi ous gr atiﬁcation i n

” 1 1 0 Them Ban ns

’ ’ ’ ’ ’ or a en - k ed us an I ain t made f pec b , ain t. ’ ’ ’ ’ an if r an m e ot s lic d h re d wo rd e g p e , t e be s ’ in the om e b efo re the day was out h B rown with a a i n ed l k . b u ( p oo ) O , t on es Bi rds in thei r little n ests a ree o r J , g , s should do . Surely if you poke to M ary An n ’ ! ’ T om ( with scorn) . Spoke to er I ve ’ ’ spok e till I m fair sick on it B ut she s as ' obstin a a i she 1 8 . te as ole p g , ’ M rs. B rown ( sha ki ng her head) . I t 5 very w ron d w al ha g to talk so . B esi es. e l ve our faul ts ’ ’

T . We ave m um . B ut here s faul ts om , t ’ and faults, an d a can tank e rous fem ale ain t ’ to be b o rn wi h a wife . h u h e t , not as I ve t o g t ’ ’ so m an a tim e b u adn t the s errit to y , t I p ' ’ a e i ve b ck out o the job . (R ﬂect ly) An then ’ ’ a ain of cour she as ot a n ice li le om g , se , g tt e , ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ an a tid b usin ess an I d onl ave to an y , y g ’ ’ u m at there an tak e it eas if coul d b u p y , y, I t ’

n . h r ! stum m ick A n B ut t e e I can t. ’ I d soon er face a an g ry b ull than a n arsty ’ ’ ’ tem er d wom an an as fo r livin with r p e , e , ’ year in an yea r out — — h . B u r su s h M rs B rown . t e ppose e s ould sue ou for b re ach of rom ise ? y , p ’ T om ri n n i She won t do that m um (g , I m a de sure 0o “kat ﬁrst thin g ’ B less e r n o ! she sa s it wouldn t y , y , ’ ’ b re ak my ea rt to lose ye r she says B ut ’ ” ou ve assed m e ou r w ord she sa s y pp y , y , ’ ’ ’ ” an ll sh il I old you to it, e says, t l you Them B an ns 1 1 1

’ can tell m e y”ou re ackshally promi sed to h s . another woman , e says

s. rown drawi n herself u M r B ( g p) . ’

T om . Yes, m um . Them was e ’ ’ ’ ’ A n don b elieve she sa s as h r I t , y , t e e s ' an othe r wom an in the pari sh as ud look at r ! h l av alon as ye s e says, e e e our b an n s ’ ’ d rm orrer ! he sa s ll be calle te s y , an starts ’ ’ - a larha , ﬁt to b ust erself M un m ! M rs. B rown . ost see ly I see n othi n to lau h at. Gets u . Well g g ( p ) , I suppose you w ould lik e the Vicar to put o ff publishing the b anns for the presen t ? which r in M ar n n h r l o s r A o . wi l , of c u e , b g y t e sen ses I s n ot that your ide a

Tom who has also ri sen . ell m um Wha ( ) W , , t ’ houl d lik e rst of all if ou ve n ob I s ﬁ , y o jec ’ tion s, is to set e re for ﬁve min utes, an d think

M s. B rown . er sensible in dee d on . r V y , , J es ’ h r Wh Don t act in a ur y, atever you do .

h nk w r. . You us i i ell o e M rs Brown . j t t t v

a . ho ( Goes to door L . nd turns) W k n ows b ut What you an d M ary An n m ight shak e down per fectly 9 ’ ’ ’ T om : I m afraid it ud tak e a deal 0 ’ ’ ’ a eal 0 shak in ! xi sh akin , m um ; d (E t i l as B rown . T om r ns broad the M rs. g y door shuts, and then brea ks i n to a chuckle , a fter whi ch he goes to wi ndow and whi stles

Th r r r m irl. twi ce. ) Ah ! e e ye a e . y g 1 1 2 Them Bann s

l wi ’ E len ( at ndow) . O h ! I didn t com e for your whistlin g ! I just happen ed to be ’ passing ! B ut What d you w an t ?

Tom cauti ousl . You ste inside an ( y) p , d ’ ’

I ll ll er. c te y (E llen omes i n . ) Look ere ’ ’ ow d you lik e to git m arried ? ? ! E llen . M arried Go on What are you

' ’ r T om . N ow don t you g o ﬁ in up when a felle r only asks you a civil What —‘ ’ I says is O W d you lik e t m arried ? ’ n h w o E llen . Depe ds w o it as B ut it s n con ce rn Th ’ T om . m ay be ere s ’ — ’ ’ the b ak er s youn g m an so I ve eard ' ’ H r Ellen ( wi th con tempt) . I m ? e s a poo ’ ’ w he is an d so ve told him m an s sa n ey, , , I y the tim e ! ’ ‘

w ! ri n n i . Then ra u d T om . O (g ng) p ps yo ’ ’ ’ soon er ave me than i m , if I was to be ad, so to spe ak !

ell should thi nk so . You are a Ellen . W , I ’ m an an w a s Whatever else ou ain t an d , y y , y , he am t m uch better than a turn ip ! ’

awi n n earer . ook ou ere m T om (dr g ) L y , y ' w ould ou lik e to ll d in dear. O w y be ca e ’ hurch to- m orrer alon 0 m e ? C , g ? M e ? l on Ellen ( much startled) . What A g ’ 0 ou ? Whatever do you m ean ? ’ a M b anns is y Jus What I s y . y ’ ’ ’ in to be called to - m o rrer an M ar An n s go , y ’ — ai n t no if kn ows it. , t I

1 1 4 Them Ba nn s

T om assi n hi s ha nd over hi s (p g mouth) . ’ Yes m um ou ll kin dl tell the icar h a , Y y V t t I w an t m y b an n s called term o rre r sa m e as a rran g ed ’ h M rs. B rown . I m t an kful to he ar it I felt sure you would thi n k b e tte r of it ’

T om erven tl . ave m um Goes to (f y) I , ( wards door R . ) ! Th ’ M rs. B rown . Good en you ve m ade up your m in d to b e true to M a ry An n ’

T om at door . ell m um am oin to ( ) W , , I g ’ ’ be called b ut it ain t with M ar A n n I t s , y i ’ w th llen m u m our ousem aid. Good E , , y ’ m o m in , m um .

it lea vi n M rs. B rown shocked and (Ex , g H O O T E T LIP.

A DUOLOGUE .

Chara cters Eli za beth Erle e ach occupyin g a n alm s

Thom a s B lythe house on the R iven estate . : Ti m e Pre se n t day . ’ cen e h n - r S E lizab et s livi g oo m . ’ cen e I ti m e ab out elev en o clo ck on a S , r Wi n te m o rn in g .

- cen e : ti m e ab o ut fo ur thi rt . m . S II , y p n e arly a fo rtn ig ht late r.

SCE NE I .

Eliza beth i s di scovered sweepi ng ; she open s

' door a n d swee s dust out on to ath. L , p p ’

Voi ce wi thout. M a rn iu i b eth ! , L z ’ li a M Tho m o m e in beth. a rn in as ! E z , C . ’ ’ ’ ’ w on t ye co m e in an ave a cra ck wi m e .

( En ter T hom a s. ) d T hom as. He uts sti ck i n corn er a n ( p L , ’ co ll an m es forward rubbi n hi s ha nds. e g ) W , ’ ’ o w be you thi s co ld m a rn iu A h ! th e Eliza beth (lea n i ng on broom ) . ’ cold do g e t in to m y po re old b o n es so m e thin ’ ’ c ro h n m b a d i ht ol . A n at W1 th a t a e s W , g , ’ ’ ’ an n ot b ei n able o i t ab ou e as I m in a t g t y, 1 1 6 The r oan

b ad w a am . Sit e dow n Thom as y, I y , ,

sit ye dow n . (Hobbies over to corner to put ! ’ a way broom . ) B ut the re I can t expect ’ ’ ’ n o thi n diff e ren t a t m y ag e . A n o w b e you ’ feeli n ’ Thom as ( sits) . Pretty m iddlin ! pretty ’ ’ m iddli n I don t et n o o un e r n ei he r ! g y g , t ’ ’ ’ ’ A n ow s the too lip g oin on ? ’ s i n r hea A h ! i Eliza beth ( hak g he d) . t don t ’ ’ ’ ’ row as w ell as I d o e d for an I m bi g p , tter ’ ’ ’ di in t 1 Yo urs ll b e the b est n u a e r all sapp ft . ’ ’ thoug h it didn t look n ear so pro m isin as m in e at the start ( She p a duster and li mps a bout the room while she talks ’ Thom a s. B ut you ain t se en m y tooli ’ h n while so ow are o u o k n ow t is lo g , y t it a ’ ’ bette r n o r yo um You don t k n o w n o thi n Wh he r i b e o i ! ab out it, et t r t b ain t Tha h ! ak r w li abeth. t do t en B e as E z I , ’ ' tellin m e on ly this m arn iu what a fin e up ’ a ow er ours w r st n din fl y e e . a r Thom as ( con tem tuously) . B ker ! I n eve ’ ’ eard as e k n o w au ht ab o ut ow ers e ce g fl , x pt ’ ’ the so rts i s b re ad 5 m ade on ! Th ! u w as alw a s li zabeth. A o m as o E y , y y r r such a on e fo you j ok e . ’ ’ ’ Wh r don t b eli eve Thom as. A n at s m o e , I ” ’

e 3 eve r cla d e e s o n m ooli . O w eve r ppe y y t p , ’ an yw ays I ll tak e care to put it Where n o on e ’ h doub can see it t is ve r da . B ut t e , y y I w ’ ’ as just tryin to g e t a ri se out o you .

1 1 8 T he T oolip

’ ’

li a beth shar l . ell an ow ab out E z ( p y) W , ’ you ? Ain t y ou set o n it yourself ? T m a r ho s ubbi n his h a . M a be am ( g e d) y I . co m e to thin k on it B ut I n eve r reck on ed ’ ’ so m e o w as ou d ca re m uch on e w a or the y , y

othe r. ’ Th o r do Eliza beth. en y u e just out ; I h ’ ’ ca re. b ut c a rin w o n t it m e the ri e E g p z , w ’ w ’ I k n o tha t w ell en oug h . A n I k n o I d ’ oug ht to b e use to di sapp m tm en ts by thi s ’ ’ ’ tim e seciu h a t a - m an I ve a d to b ear . W y

T a kes duster to door a sha kes it out. A ( , nd ) y ’ ’ d r 1 h d such a ea m e t at ave then . B ut I y I , ’ ’ w on derful fan c to it this e re ri ze fo r I ve y g p , n ever g o t on e ye t in all m y b o rn days 1 ’

Thom as. ell tha t s m o re n o r I ca n sa W , y . ’ ’ ’ ain t it ? R ecoll ec m e g etti n a prize fo r ’ run n in w hen w e re a oun lad ? A I y g y , ’ bless ye r ! see m s a s if I co uld e ar the ’ ’ ’ ch rin an o w ! D m in d ee all n ye , Lizb e th ’ R d li a beth. Yes 0 course m in d. e as E z , I ’ a u r - ock o u w an loo k d ﬁ to b ust t k ey c y as e t . ’ u o u w as as o n e m ay say . A n th at se t p y — ’ too as if n o o n e ad e ve r w on a ri e afo re . , p z ’ ! h a s he w a 0 Thom as. ell ell t t t W , W y ’

oun la ds e see . A n the w a o f old un s y g , y y ’ ’ ’ too seem in l fo r w o n t den I d b e ro e r , y , I y p p ’ p roud if I did g et i s lo rdship s prize fo r the ’ ’ h re too li p . I ve w a tch e d an ten ded that t e ow e r sam e as if it w as a child ﬂ , li a h ! ou E z beth ( wi th i rritati on ) . O y The T oolip 1 1 9

’ ’ n ee dn t b e Wo rr in ourself Thom as o u y y , y ’ alw a s was luck . o u ll it the ri e m o st y y Y g p z , ’ ’ lik e . A n w a s if o u do n t it won t b e m e y y , y , ’ ’ as will that s all I k n ow ! n eve r di d ave , I ’ ’ n o luck n ever an m sure dun n o Wh eve r , ; I I y ’ shoul d ave e ected to be in n ow at m I xp g , y ’ tim e 0 lif e. ! ! ’ Thom as. Choo choo Don t talk so ’ ’ ri i c lus i b e h . To e a r ou o on an d , L z t y g , y ’ ’ b o dy d thin k all the pari sh w as com petiu a ai n st ou in ste ad of onl th e othe r al m s g y , y ’ ’ ho uses. You d oug ht to ave m ore se n se . ’

li a beth. ell ou n eedn t b e so sha r E z W , y p d on a bo y . ’ ’ ha ! an ! T hom a s. S rp Stuﬂ n on se n se A n ’ an o the r hin can tell ou the re s on l o u t g I y , y y ’ h ’ an m e in t e run n in . (Jerks thum b over ’ ’ T o ld shoulder . ) he m tw o b o di e s w on t ave ’ ’ n o thin ﬁt to show an the k n ow s it B ut , y , ’ bless e r the ai n t w o rr in theirselves n o t y y y g , ’ they Yo u k n ow is lo rdshi p prom ised to give ’ ’ m h he m di dn win a so et in to t as t the prize . ’ M a b e ou d fo r o tten th at i b e th y y g , L z ’ ’

li a beth. N o ai n t fo r o t n othin . B ut E z , I g ’ ’ ’ oo w an ts a som ethi n That s n ot th e sa m e ’ thin g as g etti n the prize ! ’ ’ Thom as M o re it ai n t. B ut it s n ext ’ ’

a r h o hin . door to it, n b e tte t an n t ’ Eli zabeth That s as folk m ay thi nk . ’ ’ ’ N o I d set m e e art on th at there ri ze an , p , ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ a in t a - oin to it it an I ll n ev e r ave I g g ,

. l an othe r chan ce n ot at m a e M ourn ful . , y g ( y ) 1 20 The r oan

’ do u I ll n ever se e an othe r win te r Thom a s I bt , n eve r an other wi n te r. f on ! Yo u told us Thom as ( cheer ully) . Go ’ ’ that last e ar an the e ar befo re that an y , y , ’ ’ the ar af ore hat too ! od willin ou ll ye t , G y ’ ’ se e len o win r e if onl ou ll luck p ty te s y t, y y p ’ up a bit 0 sperrit ! ! ’ h lizabeth. N o n o ain t lon fo r t is E , I g ’ ’ w r d o l . I m sure I ain t. ’

h am m on . ou w as Thom as. T at 5 all g I f y ’ ’ ’ to give ove r frettin an Wo rrittin about every ’ triﬂe yo u d be a diffe ren t w om an in a w eek . ’ o u Eli za beth ( turn i ng upon him ) . A n if y ’ ’ ’ w as to give ov e r pre achin an lectu rin your ’ ’ ’ bette rs i ud a bl in A in t i en ou h , t b e ess t g ’ that ou sh d a l h luck wi hou y oul ve a l t e , t t ’ ’ ’ oldi n fo rth tha t w ay to them as aren t so fortui t ? Yo u leave m e b e Thom as Bl the , y . ’ ’ ’ an m in d our own con sarn s an I ll m i n d y ,

’

Thomas. Bless the w om an ! O W she do ’ out to be sure ! B u o u di dn t ou h ﬂy , t y g t to ’ ’ turn n ast i be th fo r m onl s ak in y, L z , I y pe ’ fo r your own g ood You let thing s reg lar ’ ’ et on our n erv es an w o rr an ve r g y , y fuss o ’ ’ em till it seem s lik e you can t g et n o pleasure ’ ’ ’ out o n othi n . I t don t m a tte r What it i s ’ tha t there old ooli o r an hi n ha t p, yt else t t ’ ’ com e s an dy - you m ust g o an m ak e a trouble o f i t ’ li a beth ol ! E z ( s em nly) . A h w e can t git ’ ’ ’ ast our n atures Thom as an o p . , I m on e

1 22 The T oolip

looki n at is about to s eak but thi nks g her ; p . better of it a nd oes slowl out looki n back , g y , g

l . as he g oes. Eliza beth weeps silenty )

CUR TA IN .

SCE NE II .

li a beth i s aslee i n her armcha i r her (E z p , feet u on a n other cha i r a nd a bla n ket over p , her. oor i s ver ca uti ousl o en ed a nd D L y y p , ’ Thom a s s head appears round it ; he looks a bout then com es so tl i n ushi n the door , f y , p g e osses the room carefully to behi nd hi m . H cr — on tiptoe keepi ng a wary eye on Eliza beth to the ta ble i n corn er R ta kes from i nside hi s coat a ot con ta i n i n a n e i n k tuli a n d de p g ﬁ p p , v posi ts i t on the ta ble . He then pi cks up the ery

weed - looki n tuli la n t a lread there sur y g p p y , veys it with m any g ri m a ces a nd sha kes o the head tucks it i n side hi s coat n oi s sl , , y retraces hi s ste s a nd e it shutti n the door p , x , g i l . very qui etly . E iza beth snares sl g htly (P ause ) K n ock at door there i s n o re l a nd kn ock ; p y , a l l a s i i s re e ted m ore oudl . i beth t rs o ens p y E z , p

her e es a n d calls out feebl om e in . y , y , ) C

’ l m e T hom a s i n n ocent . I t s on ( ly) y , ’ ’ r un d o ask ow Lizb e th . I jus steppe d o t

yo u w as. The T oolip 1 23

! u Eli zabeth. N ot m uch to bo ast on B t ’ I m be tte r oh es a si ht b e tter th an k e ; , y , g , y

’ Tha s Thom a s (dra wi ng up cha i r R C) . t ’ ’ ri h — I see urse oin ust n ow an she g t N g by j , ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ sa s ou re doin ﬁn e an sh ain comi n n o y y , e t

m o re . ’ ’

li a beth. N o she ain co mi n n o m ore E z , t ; ’ she s on k an sca le g e b ac to Setford. I c gg ’ o n ! a al g b y m yself n ow . E h b ut it s b e en ’ ’ W e a r i h w l n is t m e it as in deed. W o o y , y, g ’ t sin ce ou w as in e re last Thom as i y , ’

Thom as. ell n o w o w lo n would it b e W , , g ’ i a h d l beth. o in o n fo r a fo r ni t o E z G t g , I ’ ’ b eli eve ! T a t s a oodi sh while ain t it ? h g , ’ did Thom as . A a oo di sh while . A n y , g Nurse tell you wh at a ﬁn e plan t yo ur toolip ’ ’ a d g row ed ? I told e r to b e suren to ; I ’ ’ tho ug ht it u d e a rten you up a b it li a h old m e beth bri hten i n . Yes s e t E z ( g g ) , ‘ she said it a d ro w e d a re al aut an g b e y , ’ ’ sh e g e ttin an dso m e r eve ry day . B ut ’ ’ w o uldn t le t m e see it ; sh e said I didn t o ug ht to b e excited ’ h T hom as. A n she w as q uite rig t ; I ’ ’

shoul d sh n h a Wo m an . say e d a de al 0 se se , t t ’ ’ B ut I -spo se the re s n o ob j ecti on to yo ur ’ ’ se ein it n ow yo u re b ette r ’ ’

h r ain t. I m li a beth. N o n o t n ow t e e E z , ’ ’ ’ o ou o an av e a l ok in fo rw ard to that. Y g

loo k a t it ﬁrst. h r ar m i rl T hom as n u . R i t e e (getti g p) g y , y g 1 24 m r oan

( He crosses to table R . ’ Wh i b e th ! i s a — y . L z t som e ’ ’ thin splen di d ! You oug ht to b e right ’ do w n ro ud of i ran d i is an n p t G , t , o

’ ’ li abeth ell I m lad 0 that B ut E z W , g ’ ’ i s r r r t n t m uch use if othe folk s is g an de . ’ ’ ’

Thom as. A h ! this ere ud tak e a lot o ’ ’ be s tin . Wh it s m o re lik e a re at ro se n o r y , g ’ ’ ’ an ythin ; an ain t it a colour ! B lest if it ’ ’ w on t tak e the shi n e out 0 all the flo w e rs a t the sh ow ! ai Elizabeth. A h you b e v ery kin d to pr se u m tooli lik e that Tho m as - ver kin d p y p , , y ' ’ yo u b e . B ut I doubt W e ll e ar a di fle ren t ’ tal e when w e see yourn an m in e tog ether. h ! Do Thom as (putti ng down pla nt) . O ? ’ o u n o w ell th at s as m a be . B ut y , W , y I ’ kn ow s a oo d owe r when sees it an this g fl I , ’ ere Th re 1 Elizabeth ( i nterrupti ng i mpati en tly) . e ’ ’ ’ ’ h ra W he tea t e k ettle s b ilin . P ps yo u ll e t t ’ ’ fo r m e an save m e m ovin . You m ean s ell , W . Tho m as k n o w that— ve r w ell ou m e an s , I y , y . ’ ’ ’ b u a h I m a t I ve d en o ug 0 that toolip . t y ’ ’ ’ b e ood b ut it a in t the b est an don t g , , I w an t to talk ab out it n o m o re . Thom a u o l ase m de ar ! s. st as u e J y p , y

(He ma kes tea . ) ’ ’ ’ d an ave a cu Elizabeth . You be st stop p ’ ’ ’ id a n 0 te a with m e . The rnilk ll b e ou ts e ,

1 26 The T ools)

’ We w asn t n e ver m e an t to un de rstan d on e an othe r —o n l to ut u w ith e ach othe r as , y p p be st as w e co uld ! N ow sit e down do y , , ’ ’ Thom as don o ﬁ i ro d o r ; t g dg et n un no m e . Thom as i a d e i s ts n the b n tea. T hom as ( , y g looks round at tulip . ) ’ h r Thom as. Ah ! th a t t e e too li o ourn p y , ’ ’ ’ can t el talk in of it i sb e th it does m I p , L ; y ’ ’ cart g oo d to loo k at it. A n on ly three days — to the show o n ly three days ’ Eli za beth ( curtly ) I dessay . I t do n t ’ m atte r m uch to m e w hen it is for ain t , I ’ g o in . ’ ’ ’

Thom as. Ai n t o in Wh it s o n l a g y , y ’ ’ ste an o u ll b e w ell en ou h urse said. p , y g , N ’ ’

i . B . El zabeth M ayb e . ut I ain t g o in ’ h ! o u d d T hom as. O es b est o coul , y y g I tak e you ro un d in the chai r. ’ ul d o Eli za beth. You co ; b ut I ll n t ’ ’ r i r an ll t ouble yo u . I d g it t ed put ab o ut a ’ ’ for n owt, an I m b est at hom e . ’ ’ T N ain d do ou a hom a s. o ou t I t , y y ’ ’ ow er 0 ood o et o ut am on the folk s an p g t g g , ’ h o w a r fo r see t e ﬂo w ers an all . A l ng y b e tte h ’ ’ you t an to se t a t o m e m opin . ’ ’ ’ ’ li a a d b e m o in E z beth. A n 0 0 s ys I p ’ ’ T w i A n o u hom as. sa s it an k n o s t I y , y k n w i o s t too . ’ ’ li don k n ow n othin o f the E za beth. I t ’ ’ w ell as a kin d. I f a b ody w ha t ai n t b een ’ ’ ’ fan c to se ui et in e r o wn o m e can t she y t q . ’ ’ a i el Thom s ( i mpress v y) . I f a b o dy asn t ’ ot the sen se to k n ow sr o wn luck w ell g , , ’ ’ ’ m eon e els as ot to in t it ou o r so e g p t t e . ’ that s all

m ean . I f ’ you w as to speak out plain m ayb e I d un de r

d l Thom as. M a b e ou w oul e l then y y W , ’ ’ ’ r Y u a - o a look you e e . o re g i n to g et th t there ’ ’ ri e as sure as I m setti n on thi s cha i r p z , li a beth ea erl ras i n the arm s of her E z ( g y , g p g ! ’ ! cha i r) . Thom as I a i n t ’

h h . N w d Tho as. T a o u ar en o on m t y e , t t ’ ’ ’ o an e t e cited b ut se t ui et an I ll b ri n g g x , q , g you the toolip so as you can see fo r yourself . ’ ’

li za beth. Wh can t. ardl b eli eve it. E y , I y ’ ’ Sure ou re n o t m akin fun on m e Tho m as y , Thom as with n e i ndi n ati on as he ets ( ﬁ g , g ’ u 9 p) . What M e tell you you w as g oin to ’ ’ g et the pri ze when you w asn t ? A in t you ’ k n own m e b o an m an all m lif an d ou , y , y e , y

’

li abeth hastil . N o n o . don t thi n k E z ( y) , I ’ n o thi n at all . B ut you k n ow your plan t w as n r r i ﬁ e n o m n e at on e ti me . ’ Thom as cross s to le ell a n ( e tab W , ’ ’ what if cit w as ? Th at s n ot to say as it ll ’ sto so i s it ? Wh ble ss m e ! the re s n o p , y , n s oli tw o w ays ab o u t it. Thi s i s the ﬁ e t to p eve r see ! ook - a - the re m i rl if that I L , y g ; ’ ’ don t satisfy you I dun n o wha t w ould A in t it a b eaut n ow ust ab out ? He uts i t y , , j ( p

be fore her. ) 1 23 The T oolip

! ’ li za beth adm i ri n l . M ain t it E ( g y) y , ' ’ then ? Yes reck on it s the an dsom , I est I ’ ’ ’ ’ e ve r seen A n you re sure yo urs isn t an d so m e r if o w as ll h , y u to te trut l w ’ Thom a s (dram ati cal y) . N o j ust a rk to ’ the w om an ! Di dn t I say two m in utes ag o a s that w as the fin est toolip eve r I see li a et d id b h n o di n her head . A ou d E z ( g ) y , y - u yo did. Th w ha a r u ? Thom as. en t e you talkin g ab o t ’ ’ M tooli n er tha n that2 ell it a i n t an y p fi W , , I n ever spoke a truer word ! Eli zabeth. Well I n e ve r I t do see m ’ w o n derful m in e should a turn ed o utthe b est ’ r a fte r all . B ut yo u took a de al 0 trouble ove ’ o urs Tho m a s dessa it s a ood o we r y , ; I y g fl ,

’

. n Thom as I dessay it is. A I dessa y ’ ’ ’ ou d lik e to ave a loo k at it ell I ve n o y W . ’ ’ ob ection s seein s b elievin so the sa j ; . y y ; ’ i m e I ll fetch it alon g . Yo u b de q ui et till I co b ack . ( Exit) li a beth fum bles or her s ectacles slowl ( E z f p , y them on and eers closel at the tuli , p y p ,

adm i ri ng ej aculati ons. ) ( R e- en ter Thom as ng ’

h r ou a re . He Thomas. ell i bet e e W , L z , y ( h a t do ou puts i t down beside the other . ) W y ’ thin k 0 th at ’ ’ li a h Thom a s oo d a thou ht beth. W E z y , , g ' ’ it ? it ain t n ear so ﬁn e ! You w as q m te ri g l t ’ Tho t h ? 0 cou rse was m as. Quite i g t I ’ quite rig ht N o t m uch doub t w hich 11 g et “ he rize is here ? t p , t

1 30 The T oolip

’ ’ do n e ec n othin does it thei r deserts t xp t , g ’ ’ n ow an a ain i n s ite o ever bod ! She g , p y y ( n ods her head deﬁa ntly . ) ’ ! ever T hom as (drily) . A h I n spi te 0 y body ! tuli Y . ra ws the small Elizabeth. es ( D p ’ ’ B u d n r m n towards her. ) t it o t p e ven t e b ei ’ so rry as you r toolip sho uld a turn ed out such ’ a o re m e a sl ob e ct tho u h am roud o p y j , g I p ’ ’ h m in e b ein so b i an ﬁn e . W g y, ’ ’ it don t see m n o ti m e si n ce it w as on ly jus ’ ab ove roun d an -so 5 m i ht see ow fast g , I g ’ it row ed —I ti ed a b it 0 reen w ool roun d g , g ’ - it as it m i ht b e e re . Wh wh , g y , y ’ ‘ whatever s thi s E re i s the w ool ’ n o it can t b e for thi s i s our tooli , , y p Yes it i s thou h do b eli eve the ver sam e , g , I , y ’ b it 0 woo l ’ a ool P Thom as ( ll taken a back) . B it 0 w ’ ’ on sen se the re ain t n o w ool ! re ive us N , E , g ’ ’ ’ ’ old i be th fo r I ve ot to b e o in —d e , L z , g g y ’ ear ? He sei es ot but li a beth clutches ( z p , E z it des eratel a nd reta i n s it. p y , ) Eli zabeth ( un wi ndi ng and holdi ng up a ta il i ’ l ’ of em wool) . A n t n o woo P Wh at d yon

that. then ? ’ d n n o us hin — Thom as. u t n ot som e I ; j , ’ ’ ' thin as cau ht in it s ose . Give us old g , I p , ’ q uick I can t stop n o ’ Eli zabeth. I reck on ave to stop till ’ ’ ’ we ve ad this out You ve g ot to explain The T ooli p 1 3 1

i — — Thom as (try ng to collect his wi ts) . I I I ’ ’ ’ don t k n ow w hy ever you re m aki n a fuss ! ’ ’ ’ Wh shouldn t ave ti ed a b it 0 w o ol roun d y I , too ’ i a beth dun n o wh u shou n l . o ld t b ut E z I y y , ’ ’ ’ k n o w ou didn t or ou d a said o afo re ! I y , y s ll ' d Thom a s. e ou um e o n m e so W , y j p ’ ’ sudden - lik e didn t a rdl k n ow what wa s , I y I ’ ’ sa i —th at s all ! N o w i ve us the to oli y n , g p , ' i b eth without; n o m o re n on sen se for L z , , I ’ w an t to g o om e .

li a beth shaki n her head . N o n o E z ( g ) , ’ ’ ’ Tho m as ou ain t a - oin om e et awhile , y g y , ’ Thi r i li ou listen to m e . s e e s m too . y , y p ’

Thom as. Yo u ve n o call to thin k so . ’

d in i o w i . li abeth. on t th k t k n s t E z I , I ’ ’ You chan ed em dun n o ow o don e it g I y u ,

o r when ou do n e i b ut ou don e it. Y ou y t, y ’ cha ng ed em ! ’ ha n ed Thom as ( corn ered) . C g em 9 ’ cha n ed i za beth. Y es em l . E , g ’ a ed ? Thom as ( helplessly) . Ch ng e m ’ c n m ! ha do Eliza beth. Y es ; ha g ed e W t ’ ou w an t to o sa i n m w o rds afte r m e fo r y g y y , sam e a s a p arro t Pa rro ? Thom as (dully repeati ng) . t Y arr ot ! N o w lo ok o u l a eth. es E iz b ; p , y ’ ’ d m an e r Thom as l th e . o u re a o o e , B y Y g , ’ ’ a n a in d m an an o u do n e a thin fo r m e k , y g ’ ’ o wn as I w ouldn t a do n e fo r you ; I s it. ’ B ut E li zab eth E rle a in t the w o m an to tak e ’ ’ ’ wha d lon to er whethe r it s a ri e t on t be g , p z 1 32 T he T ooli p

’ ’ ’ r h r h c r di 0 ettin i o an n . o t e e t g t, yt i else ’ ’ So e re s yo u r toolip ( she pushes the big on e ’ wards hi m an if e ve r a m an dese r ed to ) , v a ’ i Tho ri e t s o u m as. p z , y , ’ —do n i Thom a s earn estl . I t wan t t ( y) , ’ Lizb e th ; I d so o n e r thi n g s stoppe d a s they ’ ri an h i m o r o a f m al h w as. P zes t at s e t e e t an ’ ’ they i s to a m an when al l s sa id. A n if it ’ ’ ’ a dn t b e en fo r th at th ere o ld dra tte d b it 0 ’ w ool o u d n eve r hav e foun d out. , y e Eliza beth ( slowly g etti ng out of h r cha i r) . ’ l d i d o u r M a b e n ot. B ut m a d d ﬁn t fo y I g I , ’ ’ it w ouldn t av e b e en fai r n o r rig ht. N o n o ou tak e our tooli she uts it , ; y y p p , wi th a sha ky ha nd i n to hi s) - an your priz e ’ ’ when the im e co m - n m blessin wi th t e , a y ’ ’ ’ — — e m ! A n p raps you w as rig ht (puts her — ’ ’ han d on hi s arm ) an I ll live to see an o th e r

win ter after all . ’ l n T hom as (patti ng her hand) . A y A m ayb e a prize yet

T CUR A IN .

1 34 Wrong A gai n

t . va ns c n te M rs E ( o mp uously) . Go al on g ’ with yo u ! I t do n t do n othin g of the so rt ’ ' I ve o t n o tim e fo r n e rves an th at h g , t ank s b e . ’ ’ N erves ! Pack 0 rubbish call e m ! , I ’ M rs. Stigg i n s. Don t tell m e ! When ’ ’ folk s as lived all al on e alon g 0 thei r se lves so m e w hile the ets tha t e rrita le h , y g b t a t ’ ’ ’ ’ n o thin g can t g o righ t wi em . You di dn t ou ht to live alon e n o m o re m ark me g , ’ ’

M rs. va ns. ell I m the be st ud e 0 E W , j g that an d lik e m e own com an s than k , I p y be t,

ou M rs. Sti in s. y , gg ’

M rs. Sti i ns. That 5 eas said when e gg y , y ’ ’ ’ av en t g o t n o o the r ! I m su re m y T o m has ’ sa id to m e—tim e an d a en he s sa id aw s g . , L ’ ’ M other o w r cio us lo n el M is van m ust , p e y E s ’ b e all al on e by e rse lf

a n f . T ! M rs. Ev ns ( scor ully) om ’ ’ ’ er kin d of To m I rn sure b ut he s uite V y . , q

wron an d so ou can te ll him . N o t tha t g , y ’ ’ there s an hin w o n de rful in that fo r he s yt g , n eve r rig ht ! ! ’ i i n . h r M rs. St s ell t e e n ow ain t gg W , it true w h at sa ho w errita ble e do et I y , y g ’ livin all b y ye rself ’ m r rri e n s. d a d o tabl M rs. Eva I g e t eal e e ’ liv h o s ! A n d a fo r To m if in wi t an y n e el e s , ’ d b e he w as to m in d his o wn co nsarn s, it u u r ! collects b e tter fo r all o n us. B t the e ( ’ ’ h ﬂ rin shoes brushes etc. ca n t sto c a e , , ) I p ’ ’ w ’ ere abo ut To m all day . I ve g ot m e ashin r to do . ( Clatters oﬁ Wron g A ga i n [35

M rs. Sti i ns looki n a fte her and gg ( g r , solem nl sha ki ng her — y Lark a daisy m e

- R e enter M rs. van s ca rr i n a basket of ( E , y g She dum s i t own kee i n her back p d , p g tur e i n d o M rs. St i n s an d ta kes out the t gg , clothes shaki n them be ore han i n them on , g f g g the li ne doi ng all wi th ostentatious hurry and bustle. )

i . ! M rs. Stigg ns B less the wo m an Wha t ’ a m ortal urry ye do be in !

M rs. vans un raci ous over her shoulder . E ( g ly , ) ’ h ou re still th re are ou O y e , y ’ ’ l i n u h . r M rs Stigg i n s. Ay I m e e r g ht e o g — ’ ’ O w ye do slave ye rself to b e sure You ll a not live to b e as old as m e , without you t k e ’ ’ b i r w a t 0 est n o an agen . ’

rs. a n l l . re ain t n o M E v s ( tarty) . We l the ’ parti cler sen se as I c an se e in livin to b e so ’ ’ w on de rful old an de e di n o n o ur re , p n y

the i e . lation s. ( P egs m ore g arm en ts on l n ) Them little black folk s i m ies as the c all , p g y ’ em what w a b r u ht ove r fr m o rei n , s o g o f g rt —when the e a b i w obbl an d ast pa s y g ts t y, p thei r w ork the est clim bs u the talle t , y j p s tree an d chuck s thei rselves down ! T e , h y ’ ’ ’ don t old with li vin on fo r ever an d e ve r, an d ’ ’ bein a b urden on the i r fam ilies the don t ! , y i ' ’ ! . M r h am o M rs Stgg i ns. o e s e t em We ’ ’ ’ w as ut re b Th A o ve an d ere we d p e y em b , oug ht to bide till our tim e com e . They ’ ’ ’ black eathen don t kn ow n o bette r, be in 1 36 Wron g A gai n

’ ’ dw arfs an all b u w e di dn t ou h o b , t g t to g y

’

a . M rs. Ev n s I do n t g o by n obody b ut — ’ ’ m eself A n I alw ays do es w hat s right.

- i i ns. d o o u M rs. Stgg I un n as you do . I f y ’ ’ don e w hat w as ri ht to m w a 0 think in g , y y . ’ ’ ou d tak e an m arr m T om when e y y y , y ’ ’ h ’ k n ow e s t at se t on it. Ste ad ’ ’ 0 that e ust tre at m lik e the di rt un der , y j ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ e r fee an e t e do n t drin k n or e do n y t, y , t ’ ’ ’ sw e ar an e ll se t as ui et over the ﬁr of an , q e ’

e v en in as m old tabb . A l s here y y y et t , ’ ’ e w ill b he hour o h e r n e r , y t t g et , ve doin ’ ’ i n a d n o th t all . Ye on t see a m an ’ lik e th at n ot ever da 0 the w eek , y y l M rs. van s standi n de a nt a rms akimbo E ( g ﬁ y , ) ’ A m a n ! ell the re ! So m e folk s a s o n W , e ’ ’ ’

n o ti on of wh at s a m an , an so m e as an o the r. ’ ’ ’ A n as fo r m a rr in — ve o o k y , I t ’ ’ the m a rryin job on ce an m ayb e th at w as

n oo o n . B u i n es w t o ce t fte ( s s i h clothes li n e . ) ’ ’ A n then —S i ns ! hoe ve r e ard e , W the lik ’ ’ 0 such a ung o y n am e ! M ayb e you re use d ’ ’ ’ ’ to it seciu o u ve a d it such a t1 m e an all , y , ’ ’ u i ain b t t t on e I d care to put m e pen to . Stigg i n s ! I reck on E v an s is g ood

en oug h fo r m e . ! ’ i . ar m M rs. Stgg i n s De y e You re m ig hty '

arti cle r o u b e . O n e n am e s a ood as p , y s g ’ ’ ’ an othe r an an w a s it ain t w orth Wo rri i n , y y tt

M rs. vans. M a be n ot if it wa h onl E y , s t e y

1 38 Wrong A gai n

' ’ w a s as be en an al w a will ! uts al y , ys be ( P peg i nto her m outh. ) i ’ ’ ’ l . M rs. ( ac dy) An I s pose e ’ ’ b e n i ce to ave a piece 0 per ’ ’ ction sa m e as ou an d to se i r ht all fe y y, t m ig

va ull - M rs. E ns ( her mouth f of clothes p ’ — ’ — That s that s ( removes peg) just ab out w at ’ e do thin k !

i n s. r s. Sti ell the e call it down M r gg W . I ri g ht on n atural fo r a b ody to thin k so m uch ’ — of e rself as what you do ( with ma li ce) B ut I dessay it m ak es up to you a bit fo r n o t ' ’ b ein m o st other folk s fan cy ! ’

van s turn i n u on her . who M rs. E ( g p ) A n ’ ’ ’ says I ain t oth e r folk s fan cy ? You d on t kn ow n othi n g ab o ut it ’ ’

s. ti i . v o in m M r S gg ns I e g t eyes e ead. ' ’ ’ ’ an ea rs to o an use em wh at s m o re , I , ; ’ ’ an kn ow o w yo u sets so m e folk s agin you ’ with that ton gue 0 yours ! B ut I ' ’ ’ uts it down to o ur w orki n so ard da in p y , y ’ ’ an day out ; a little rest ud m ak e a diﬂeren t To rn o ften says ’ ’ e d be twice the w o m an e be if ou d tak e y y , y ’ a bit of a oliday on ce in a way. ’ ! ’ w a n . n M rs. Ev s O liday I do t an t n o ’ ’ oliday ; if folk s w ould l e t m e alon e tha t d ’ h a b e o liday e n oug fo r m e . Wh t doe s Tom ’ ’ w an t to pok e is n o se in fo r A n d e s wron g a ai n sa m e as usu al ha t a m an it is ! g , W ’ l ’ ’ E cou dn t be rig ht if e trie d. Wron g A gai n 1 39

’ ’ ’ ’ I m an d 1 s olida s ! W can t e let m e _ y hy ’ b e th at s what w an t to k n ow , I ’ ’

. l i M rs Stigg i n s. I t ain t n o g oo d ta k n to f

ou to da as can see . I f a b o d o en er y y, I y p ’ ’ m o n th ou o an co n radic r ﬂat ! , y g t t e ’

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r n T hei r L ives an d T i m es B T h e u ee n e o f A a g o : . y De r e i o E . g M I RO N . A u t o r o f D uc ess e c t: th e f C esa re ” h h li W f B o r a . De m 8 vo c o t t u ustr ate 1 6 s . n e t. g i y , l h g il . f lly ill d , T his w ork d ea l s with the liv es o f th e tw e n ty- six l a di es w ho w ere quee n - co n so rts of A rag on fro m the ti m e o f the e re c tio n of tha t sta te n to a se ara te n o m i n th e e e e n t ce n tur u n t i ts a sor t o n i p ki gd l v h y , il b p i n to n te S a n the m a rr a e of e r n a n a n d I sa e i U i d p i by i g F di d b ll a. T ro u th e oo m o r e m a n un a m a r ures o f R o a a es h g h b k y f ili ﬁg y l l di , th e p eri o d of the ir live s be i n g c o vere d by the co n ti n ual co n ﬂi c t tw n th r a n th e resce n o n th e so M o s be ee e C o ss d C t il o f o ri h Spa in . L a te r w e n the C ro ss ha d trium hed w e se e the uee n s of A ra on , h , Q g , a a re n t i n th e a c roun 0 istor e t a ctua ara m oun t i n pp ly b kg d h y . y lly p ’ t e r us an s co un c ls s ar n the a t ue s of ca m a n s an d h i h b d i , h i f ig p ig so m e o f the m g i vi ng birth to tgei r childre n a m id th e ril s an d m s T h e e s o f e se uee n n s c l a our o f a rm ed c a m p . liv th q s ca m e tor m y t m e s e t t e re w e re e a c e ul e so es a so w e n ol t cs a n d str e i ; y h p f pi d l , h p i i if w e re ut as e w e n the a es sa t in t e r ou o rs or ro e o rt p id , h l di h i b d i . d f h n to th e coun tr a c o n on w r st or sou t s e te r rom t e r trou es i y , f l i , g h h l f h i bl h s i n t e cl o i ter a n d the co n ve n t. T h e ar t rs u n s w r s e r s ch ac e o f these q ee e e a div se a the ir fortun es. I n t s o um e t ere ore w e rea i n turn o f a r an ce an d hi v l , h f , d g y b illi s a o w e u n a n es s o f suc cess a n d sm a e ea t. h d d h ppi , di l d f

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a t St e e n a A . M . B R O A D L E A ut or o f N a o e o n i n C ar . H l , by Y , h p l i " " ca ture T he R o a M rac e e tc . T w o e m 8 v0 c o t , y l i l , d y , l h t w t tw o co o ure ro n t s ece s a n d on e un re ustra t o ns il , i h l d f i pi h d d ill i l A M r 2 g m h c o o n o f B ad e 8 . n e t. m t e e ct . . o l i l y , 3 T hi s w o rk w ill g iv e the hi story of the e xile o f N a po leo n o n the isl an d o f St e e n a a te r th e e ea t a t a ter oo w i c te rm n a te the . H l f d f W l h h i d ’ un re a s re a of hi s o w e r on un e 1 8th 1 8 1 — ro m the 1 6 th o f h d dd y viv l p j , 5 f O c to e r o o w n un ti h i s e at on th e th o f M a 1 8 2 1 B o t b f ll i g l d h s y. . h w r te rs are a ut o r t es u o n th e su ec t o f w c t e trea t a n d the i h i i p bj hi h h y , ' w o f l s n r c ec t on f n e o B r d e u a e o o N a eon c M S . a d h l M r . oa y iv ll d ll i po l i S ustra t e ore h as een e n e rous ace a t th e s sa of M r ill iv l b g ly pl d di po l .

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t ustra te 3 . n e t. g il , ill d , 5 I t i s n ow a littl e m ore th an tw o ye a rs si n ce th e te rribl e truth s o f the Putumayo A troci ties w e re ﬁ rst broug ht to lig h t by a youn g A m e ri ca n e n n ee r w ho w a e n to th e O ce s o f T rut a n d e m an n a n g i , lk d i fﬁ h , d di g n te r e w w t the E tor re a te w a t he h a d see n i n th e fa r sta n t i vi i h di , l d h di A m a zo n a n o re sts t us o r n a t n the u c outcr a a i n st th e i f , h igi i g p bli y e r e ra to rs o f t e se a r a ro us a troc t es T he a ut o r o f he Lo r s p p t h b b i i . h d ’ o f th e De”vil s Para di se ha s be e n for tw e n ty - tw o yea rs co n n ec te d w ith T rut a n d c o n se ue n t he i s n o w i n a os t o n to la are the h , q ly p i i y b e ta e a c ts a n d to a o rt o n the a m e I n t s o o he te s th e d il d f pp i bl . hi b k ll sto r i n i ts e n t re t utt n the a m e o n the r t s o u e rs a n d y i y , p i g bl ig h h ld , s ow n the ste s t a t ro u t a o ut the e o sure h i g p h b g h b xp . T he a re s e e to n o f the sto r h a s e e n c rc u a te i n the n e w s a e rs b k l y b i l d p p ,

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ustra t o n s on art a e r 1 6 5 . n e t. ill i p p , C o o n e a ar n ee s n o n tro uc t on an d the sto r o f th e crue l l H g g d d i d i , y l a n d trea c e ro us so n o f C ar es VI I . o f ran ce to i n hi s n m ta e h h l F , ld i i i bl H r st e m a es a sc n a t n re a n . e e a tes ra ca a n d o r yl , k f i i g di g l , g phi lly vig o usl the m a n n c e n ts o f th e trou ou s ca re e r o f L o u s X I —the y, y i id bl i . n surrec t o n s a a n st hi s a t e r i n w c he too art the re o t o f i i g i f h hi h k p . v l the rea t a ssa s h i s c a ture C a r es the B o a n d his su se ue n t g v l , p by h l ld , b q re e ase T h e o o a o un s w t r a n t c ture s o f r ea t e rso n es l . b k b d i h b illi pi g p ag o f ast a s a n d e s a a n d m ress e s e tc o f ra n ce i n the p d y , giv vivid i p iv k h F te e n t n t r C o on e a a r has on e e n rec o n e a n ﬁf h ce u y . l l H gg d l g b k d a ut o r t on re n c sto r e t he h as n e e r ro uce a oo w c h i y F h hi y , y v p d d b k hi h c u s he m e re o ve rﬁo w i n s o f sc o a e o ld be desc ribe d a t g h l rship . H w ea ve s ro m a n ce i n to hi sto ry a n d turn s hi story in to ro m a n ce un til the ’ u n e ss o f are a cts w c i n so m e w r ters w or i s u e r m ost es d l b f , hi h , i k pp , giv ace to a r t a n d esse n t a c ture s ue stor ca n arra t e pl b ig h i lly pi q hi i l iv .

i n . B M H ava no c T h e L i f e o f J a m e s H to n ”y R s . x E L L I S A ut or o f T ree M o e rn Seers M C orn s N e . h h d . y i h ig h ” ’ ” o urs t s o m a n e tc . De m 8 vo ustrate ros 6 d n e t b , Ki W , y , ill d . . . . M rs a e oc E s i s re a r n t s o ra un e r e r a o r . H v l k lli p p i g hi bi g phy d v y f v u r rs d th a e c rc um sta n ce s. A cce ss to ate a e an e ass sta n ce of bl i p iv p p , i n t m a te r e n s to e t e r w t he r o w n n o w e e an d e er e n ce i i f i d , g h i h k l dg xp i , qua lify her to trea t the subjec t w ith g rea te r ful n ess than was ssible rec he r T he oo a m s a t n t n m to those w ho p e de d . b k i prese i g thi an as h is r e n s n e w hi m a n o e se r o us stu en t stru n to br n f i d k , bl , i d gg li g i g truth in to the O pen .

l l P e a c h u m . T he Sto r o f L avi ni a F e n to n D uchess Po y y , ‘ " f to n a n d T he B e a r s O e ra . B C HA R L E S E . P E A R o B o C E . l , g g p “ ” “ ” A ut or of T he A m a z n Duc ess t Be ove Pri n cess h i g h , l d , v i s ra 1 n De m 8 o c ot u t te 6 3 e t. etc . t . y , l h g l , ill d , T he hi story of the stag e ca n show n o m ore re m a”rka ble ca ree r tha n tha to f the asc n a t n a n d o a le Po Pea c um o t erw i se L a i n a f i i g l v b lly h , h v i ’ ” en to n Duc e ss o f B o ton . Descr e a s n o o s a u ter F , h l ib d b dy d gh , P oll ea e a t a o un n to a m e a n d he r sta r a ze w t un i m m e y l p d b d i f , bl d i h d d “ r h r e m e sh e w a s the o o f h Po lust e duri n g t e b i f ti id l t e publi c . ll ’ ’ y Peac h um w o f c ourse b e e n t e w t a s B e a r s O era ill , , id iﬁ d i h G y g g p , a w or w i c occ u es a un ue ac e i n t ea tric a an n a s n o t on k h h pi iq pl h l l , ly eca use i t w as the ﬁrst—a n d e st- o i E n s a a O e ras b ut b b g li h b ll d p , be ca use for n ea rly a ce n tury a n d a - ha lf it m a in ta i ned i ts a ttra ctiven ess w t n e r n e E tee n t ce n tur sta e e i s n o i h ve fa di g freshn ss. igh h y g lif ta bl e for its ta t a n d the a im of the a ut o r has ee n to ra w a cture vi li y , h b d pi

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ea r to m e re e a s C ra e i n so m e t n of a n e w t. T h e e r o d v l bb hi g , lig h p i d i s t a t uri n w c he w a s ca r o f T row b ri d e w t er he re m o e h d g hi h Vi , hi h v d ’ a te r hi s w e s ea t a n d th e o o s ow s t e e e r wr te r e e r f if d h , b k h ld ly i v to n w t th e t ou t of re m arr a e T he w o w e r w as fo r a t m e yi g i h h g h i g . id i a c tua e n a e to o n e a a n d h e ro o se m arr a e a so to M ss lly g g d l dy , p p d i g , l , i E za e t C a r te r the ce n tra e m a e r e n o f t s o um e w c li b h h , l f l f i d hi v l , hi h i n c l udes de ta ils co n ce rn i n g th e soc ia l life o f B a th an d the n e ig hbo ur oo ur n the rst uar te r of th e n n e tee n t ce n tur h d d i g ﬁ q i h y . ’ A W o m a n s W i n t r i n A f r i c B C HA R LO T T E e a . y C A M E RO N De m 8 vo c o t t ustra te w t re ro uc t o n s . y , l h g il , ill d i h p d i o f a bo u t 1 5 0 ph o to gra phs take n by th e a uthor a n d p ri n ted

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t his n i ua touc w c i s w e su te to the rom an t c tale s Wi h i d vid l h , hi h ll i d i of t s riod C o on e a a r r n s e ore hi s rea e rs the w om e n hi , l l H gg d b i g b f d w h o i n ﬂiie n ced t e r n s a n d t e r co un tr —m ore o te n un o rtun a te h i ki g h i y f , f ly , fo r w oe t a n for w e a . T he a le r w ou o f course b e n co m e te h l g l y ld , , i pl w ithout suc h g rea t ﬁ g u re s a s L a G ra n d e M a de m o i se lle a n d M a rie de M e c b ut the rea te r ar t of th e o o i s en u to ess n ow n di i , g p b k g iv p l k w o m e n suc a s the tw n n e ce s o f C a r na M a zar n th e D uc e sse de , h i i di l i , h B ou on th e M a r u se de la T ourn e e M ar e L o u se of Sa o an d ill , q i ll , i i v y , M a am e de T en ain d .

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u ustra te 1 6 3 . n e t. f lly ill d , r R a a e Sa a t n i s th e rst w r te r to a tte m t a st of he M . f l b i i fi i p udy t e rso n ali t an d caree r o f t s ri m Do m n ca n r a r to se n tan e the p hi g i i f i , di g l thre a d s 0 hi s action s fro m the w a r p o f chron ic les an d record s i n to w c t e a re w o e n a n d to co- or n a te t e m n to a istor ca an d hi h h y v , di h i h i l s c o o i ca stu o f the ac tua m an p y h l g l dy l . Th e stu o f r a r T o m as de T o r ue m a a i s ow e e r essen t a dy F i h q d , h v , i lly th e stu of the I n u s ti o n an d M r Sa at n trace s ro m ear e st dy q i i , . b i i f li C r st a n t m es the ri se an d e e o m e n t of t a t ast tr una an d h i i i d v l p h g h ly ib l , i ts n tro uc t on n to C ast e un e r e r n a n a n d I sa e a w t i d i i il d F di d b ll , i h T or ue m a a as th e rst ra n I n u s to r esta s n ru es of q d fi G d q i i , bli hi g l roce ure w c w ere to e n ure un t the n n e tee n t ce n tur T or p d hi h d il i h y . ue m a a i s n o t o n the rst ra n I n u s tor b ut he m a be a ce te q d ly fi G d q i i , y c p d a s the co m e te t e o f the re s e n t o f the HO 1 O fli ce a n d the tr a s pl yp p id y , i l w hich too k pl ace un de r h is rule a re typica l ot i n q uisitoria l trials in l su se ue n t es al b q ag . r a a t n s w t o t ia s n d i n a ur w t M . S b i i dea l i h u b a p ely histori ca l spi rit i h

t s a se o f re o us e rsec ut on . B ut in hi s a n s stor i s n e er hi ph lig i p i h d , hi y v a m a tte r of co a strac ts He ursue s hi s usua m e t o s f ee n ld b . p l h d o k pi g th e hum a n i n te re st pa ra m oun t; he rea li z es fo r us the s i ri t o f th e age w i th w hic h he dea l s an d the pe rso n ali tie s o f the hi stori ca l pe rso n ag es he pre se n ts by the sw ift m o ve m e n t of his n arra tive an d h i s i n tima te a tte n tion to de ta il he ac hi e ves an e n g rosd ng an d d ra m a tic iece o f w or i n the co urse of w c he a s e r us a ser es of o ue n t k , hi h l y b fo e i p ly vi c ure s o f h n u s t o n a t w o r vid pi t t e I q i i i k. A M . P M o r e A o u t Co l l e c ti n . B Sm M E S YO X A L L . b g y ”J , A ut o r o f T he A a o ut o e ct n e tc . L a r r o n 8vo B C . C e c w h . . b ll i g , g ,

c o t t w t a o ut 1 0 0 ustra t on s. 3 . n e t. l h g il , i h b ill i 5 T s w o r i s wr tte n i n a n n te re st n a n d e n te r ta n n st e a n d hi k i i i g i i g yl , so a rra n g e d tha t re a de rs w h o h a v e li ttl e kn o w ledg e o r e xper ie n ce o f the o w c t e w s to ta e u m a ﬁn d e ac t the n o rm a ti o n h bby hi h h y i h k p, y x ly i f A c o m a n on o m e to th e the y re qui re put pl ai n l y a n d te rse ly . p i v l u

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o f an A ostl e o f P e a sure . B ST A N L E N A L O R C row n 8vo p l y Y Y . , c o t t u ustra te 3 n e t l h g il , f lly ill d , 5 . . M r e or e rossm t e s i n the m a n a t on of th m u t tu e a s . G g G i h liv i g i i e l i d th e te st the a r e st th e m ost rre s o n s e o f m e n A w a ro m lig h , i i , i p ibl . y f ‘ the o o t ts w e se e rossm t th e m a n a s re w a t ou to e ra n t f lig h , G i h , h d , l h g h l , ’ o se r e r to w o m all the w or s a sta e —th e m o st n te re stin i n a c t b v h ld g i g , f , o f a ll o ss e sta e s H e n o w s hi s L o n on a n d a so h i s Pa r s a n d p ibl g . k d , l i h i s N e w or T o ta to h i m fo r m a n m n u te s on r e n te rm s i s Y k . lk y i f i dly to re ali se tha t he h a s pon dere d o ve r m a n y m ore thi n g s tha n a re t ou t of th e m o st sta an d e e r w sea cre H i s re ec t o n s a s h g h b id ld ly i . ﬂ i , e re se t or th t ere o re are oo e n te rta n m e n t w t ser o us t o u t h f , h f , g d i i h i h g h ‘ e n i t an d w e n h e trea ts of asse r s- b o n the sta e a n d b hi d , h p y g or w en h e e scr e s the a r s s of hi s o w n a e t th e re ec t o n s h d ib h”d hip g i y , ﬂ i of th e A ost e of P e asure are w or s o f e t p l l d d ligh .

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r v n d a n d i ts u r r u n di n s T h e Hi sto y o f Gr a e se S o g , - n n n f he T w e n t e t n tur fro m pre hi stori c ti me s to the be g i i g o t i h C e y . f he te r- a te of B A L E X . PH I L I P. A u t o r o ra ese n t a y J h G v d , W g " L on o n e tc e tc . I n o ur o um es 1 2 3 . 6 d. n e t ea c . d , f v l , h T s stor o f ra e se n w b e ssue to su scr e rs o n the hi hi y G v d ill i d b ib ly , e t o n e n m te to 6 co e s o f ea ch o um e the rs t o um e di i b i g li i d 3 5 pi v l , ﬁ v l i r to b e re a a ou t S r n 1 1 . S u sc r t o n o rm s w t u a t e dy b p i g , 9 3 b ip f , i h f ll p i n e rs w b e su e o n a lic a ti o n to the ub li she r . T he w o r i s i , ill ppli d p k o n e o f m uc m ore t an oc a i n te re st th e o si ti on of ra e se n n h h l l , G v d g ivi g i ta ace i n i sto r rom a n c e n t t m e s a n i ts s tua t o n o n the T a m es l h y f i i , i i h i w o f h s n a T he a ut or has li n k n g i t up ith the sto ry t e B riti h vy . h ha d 3 i a l a c t e s for c o ec t n m a te r a s a n d hi s o o s ou f ili i ll i g i l , b k h ld t n s s ro u ra r an n a do u tedly b e the hi s ory of th e to w he se r ve a B o g h lib i . T E C H N I C A L L I B R A R Y M A N U A L S

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ro n ti s ece Pa e r 1 3 . 6 d. n e t. C ot 2 3 . 6 d. n e t. F pi . p , l h , “ M ss W lla rde ha s e n t t e h e r oo s m e rses ec a use she i y i l d b k i ply V , b co n sid ers tha t m o st m i n o r poe tr y ha s n o c la i m to b e dig n iﬁ e d by th e

n a m e o f o e tr . M o e st o w e e r i s m uc m o re o te n th e c ar a cte r p y d y , h v , h f h ’ i stic o f the true oe t t a n of th e m ere versiﬁe r a n d th e a u t r s p h , ho m od e st e stim a te o f he r o w n w o r k w ill i n n o w a y bi n d th e opi n i on o f th rea e r T he o o i s u s e i n re s on se to a e s re e resse e d . b k p bli h d p d i xp d ’ m a n rea e rs o f M ss W lla rde s n o e s for the c o m e te o e m s by y d i y v l pl p , ro m w c she h as uo te i n he r rose w or s ro m t m t m e A f hi h q d p k f i e o ti . n um e r o f erse s n ot t erto u s e in a n orm a re a e b V hi h p bli h d y f dd d .

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. N . M O R T L A E . Sec o n e t on w t a n I n tro uct o n by G K d di i , i h d i by

D R . M A R I E C . S r o r s s . L a r e cro w n 8 vc w te c o t t c a ste g , hi l h g il , h e s n 5 n et d ig , 5 .

D ail E x ress T e se e tters are e xcee di n l i n te re ti n y p h l y s g . T he wri ters are a cu tured a a n ese w i t co n si de ra e E uro ea n o w led e a n d e e rie n ce an d l J h bl p g xp , an i i rpo f a tta i n m e n ts n d c ra te r T he r E n g l sh g a ha c . ﬁ st of a ll m e t i n Vi e n n a an d e ca m e s m a t e ti c ri e n ds a n d th e e tte rs te l o f the de ve lo m ri t b y p h f , l e of a m o re n ti se n ti m e n t T o u ht a n d e re ssi o rom a c . h xp n a re o ton e m ph a ti cal ly W e ste rn w i t e re a n d t e re a c a rm i n l tur n e d se n t , h h h g y en c e . B ut th e O ri e n ta ide al re udi ce a n d o i n t of i e w i s rea a w a s resen t l . p j , p v lly l y p . ' P a ll M a ll Ga ette T e re w i b e sce ti cs ro o a i n z h ll p p f a g st the edi tor s sol e m n a sse e ra ti o n t a t t ese e tters e tw ee n a a a n e se m a n a n d a n E n i s w o m a n w ho v h h l b J p g l h , ec am e o e rs ar e en ui n e . T o se sc e ti c s o w e e r w i a e n o t b l v , g h p , h v , ll h v on ly to g ran t ' t at the e di tor m ust be e tre m e i c e e r b ut to r ise t a t h e m h x l v , h ust h a ve a tt in ti m a te ac ua in tan ce w i t a a n ese m in d an d E y q h p e . ve n o n tha t ba sis the i n t ti n t an if he ass m e tters are sc arce ly less ere s h u e th e m to b e a uthen ti c hum an —i n a doc um en ts tere sti n g , n ot o n or the ssi o n a te id w hi c t e re b t ly yll h h y vea l . u as gi vi ng a gli m pse in to a J a pan e se h eart an (pbra in 1 5 T HE A B 0 SE RIE S

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T h e A B G o f A r ti sti c h o to r a h . B A P g p y y . J. A N DE R SO N t oto ra u re a te s a n d a - to n s . Wi h ph g v pl h lf e ill u tra tio n s

i n a c an d se ia 5 . n e t T r E t on . bl k p , 5 . ( hi d di i T he A mateur Photo ra her sa s i t is A m ost e li h tful oo u of g p y g b k , f ll ea sa n r n a n d sur r ses E e r a m a t ur r pl t ea di g p i . v y e pho tog apher w ith " a n n te re st i n ctor a w r s ou e t i t i pi i l o k h ld g . " O ri gi n a u i s ed un de r the ti t e o f T he A rti sti c Side o f Pho tc ra h a t lly p bl h l p y , u s. 6d. n e t a c e a edi ti o n o f t i s w or ha s o n e e n i n de m a n d an gth e o or , h p h k l g b , pp tun i t has n ow e e n ta e n o f a c in i t i n t i s se rie S y b k pl g h .

T h e A B o f J a a n e A r t. B F B u c xs a G p se y . . I ustrate w t 1 0 n e an d zoo al - ton e il ustra ti o n s ri n te ll d i h 5 li h f , p d

o n a rt e r 3 . n e t. p , 5

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- an d a to n e o to ra s 3 . n e t h lf ph g ph , 5 . '

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T h e A B 0 u i de to M th l B H E L E N A . G y o o g y . y C L A R E t se e ra lustra t o n s 8 n e t Sec o n E t on K . Wi h v l il i , 5 . . ( d di i .) T h is boo k trace s the r ise a n d d e v e lo pm e n t o f the v arious n a tive m t s t ro u t e r ree N orse a n d O r e n ta ) a ses so t a t the y h h g h h i G k i l h , h ‘ o o i s a n a ut or ta t e ui e 0 th e su e c t a n da t the sa m e t m e b k h i iv g d bj , i t oro u n te re st n a n d e n te r a n n h g hly i i g t i i g .

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t tw e e ustra t on s 3 . n e t. Seco n E t on Wi h lv ill i , 5 ( d di i .) I s w r M r M a so n sc usse s the t eo r o f m us c i n a s m e n thi o k . di h y i i pl an d e n te rta n n m a n n er a n d t e n treats in turn an o fo rte o rc estra i i g , h pi , h l a n d oc a m us c ea n w t th e m a ste r m us c a n s a n d t ei r w or v l i , d li g i h i i h k w t s r n s t a n s n ca n t a n a s s i h u e i ig h d ig iﬁ ly i . H A F A i i r B C HA R L E S . C T h e B 0 G u de to P c tu e s . y

R I N . u ustra te 3 n e t. Se con E t on . F lly ill d , 5 . ( d di i )

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. E L SO N t s teen l ustra t on s 3 . n e t. H W . . Wi h ix i l i . 5 M r . E l so n te ll s the story of the g ro w th of th e m odern America out f the l n d sco ere um us i n r a o a di v d by C ol b 4g .

STANLE Y PAUL ’ S

N E W SI X SHILLI NG NO V E LS

A r e L i f : A R o m an f B a h G y e ce o t .

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Ri ta ha s c os ha disda i n e d the h e n B a th a s the se tti n g for he r n e w n o ve l . She s w de r a n d a tc e s e ri od a n d i e n he r c aracter s th e m ore m ode r n i n te re sts p h p , g v h ' 0 B at s tra n si tio n t d i t He r o o de a s w i t the h s ag e i n the se ve n ti e s a n e g h ie s . b k l h str ug g e s o f an i m o e ri s e d i ri s a m i o f t re e sisters i i n a t B a t to w o m l p v h h f ly h , l v g h , h co e s a n or a n d ni e n L ui r m ph e e ce w i th the ro m a n ti c n a m e o f R o sa l e e S . ’ c ai m s t a t a n I ri s a d e n ture r n a m ed T e o ra stus O Sha u hn ess w ho a ys l h h v , h ph g y, pl “ o i ta n t art i n t i s oo i s the m a e ro to t e of her o w n i m m or ta Pe g p h b k , l p yp l :e gﬁr t e .

F r i v o l e . K A T E H O R N ”“ A ut o r of T he te. O w l C o um n e a t th e a r e tc . h Whi , l bi F i ,

A ter a n e c ur si on i n C o um i n e a t the a ir i n to the re a m s o f m ore se ri o us f x , l b F , l c ti on m a n a d , M i ss a te Ho rn n o w re turn s to the e ar m an n e r t a t w o n h e r so y ﬁ K ly h o " ml rer s i i i E dw ard an d l n d n i i h r u e s o e r W i t i t a M rs. H o e b n T e sto y . b bbl v h l g h t um o ur a n d de scr i e s ho w ri o e E stco urt da u te r 0 L u rd G o w a n E stco ur , h , b F v l , g h as i re s to o o w the sta n dard o f a soc i a re o rm er w o se i n ﬂue n ce o e r h e r all b u t p f ll l f , h v ea ds to m arri a e I t i s a o o un e r i n t r u o t um oro us si tuati on s. l g . b k d l a h o g h u by h

- O B E RT SO N T h e H o rr i b l e M a n . F R A N c s s F O R B E S R ” “ n ate M rs A R R O D . A ut or of T he a n ton T he Po te t , ( H ) h W ,

T is stor de a s w i t a n o ld sc o ar w ho w a s su o sed to be ri c un ti sudde n h y l h h l pp h . l h i s i m o veri shm e n t put h i m i n g r e a t di stress fo r fe ar o f the S i tua tion i n w h i ch i t l e ft w ipe a n d i dre R e tri ut m s to th sco un dre w ho r ui n e d hi m ; b ut o n c h l n . b io n co e e l ly a fter the lo vi n g da u hter w ho a ve n es hi m h as c o m e th ro ug h a ro m a n ti c a n d psyc h o ‘ W i o i ca se n sa ti o n s ri n I h e o o is o w e r u a n d i n te re sti n . I t l g lly e xpe e ce . b k p f l g ll a ttra ct es ecia t o se w ho e n o a w or of i id i ma i na ti o n . , p lly h , y k v v g

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’ ' T he C e e ri t s Dau ter w ic i e M i ss i o e t Hun t s o the r n o e s, i s l b y g h , h h , l k V l v l oun de d o n a m uc -e n ta n le d o t o n u un ra e e d i n the ast c a ter i s the f h pl , ly f lly v ll l h p , p u T he o o to b i g ra phy o f the da n g ter o f a c e e r i t w ho ha s a e n o n e i da s. o l b y f ll v l y ' b k ' d i s to d i n the a ut or s o w n i n im i ta e st e w i t the umo ur the sma rt di a og ue. an l h bl yl , h h , l the ti i lin ife o f her ear ier n o e s g g l l v l . ' tan le aul New i Shilli n No ve s—co n t n ue S y P s S x g l i d .

n h l i r L I E R M A p o x H O E E R A N E H u t t e S ppe . O V FF (J “ " “ A R D L E . A ut o r o f T he A rt st c T e m e ra m e n t T he L o r W ) h i i p , d " " ” of L a t m e r Stree t M a r e r P e o n e re T rut L e s e tc . i , g y ig , Wh h i , ' ' ' o f M O i r M a do H c e ﬁe r s n o e s w ho re m e m er hi T h ose r e ade rs r . l ve x v l b s M a r ori e “ " Pi eon a n d T he A r ti sti c T e m e ra m e n t w i b e c a rm e d t i s n e w n o e iro m g p , ll h by h v l th m n I t is the o e sto r o f a o un E n i s m a n o f oo d a m i w e sa e pe . l v y g g l h g f ly ho g o e s to th e n i te d Sta te s i n se arc o f a o rtu n e T he stor i s o un de d on an i n e n i U h . y f g ou s plo t an d se t fo r th i n a n orig i n a l m a n n er .

h r f u l C r a f t. R A N DO M C e e . ”“ A u t o r o f W e T ree a n d T ro ddle s N e ours o f M n e h h , ig hb i ,

e tc . t 6 0 ustra t o n s L ou s un n s Wi h ill i by i G i . “ " T e re .s n o t i n so m re or i n tro s e c ti e a o u t C e e r u C ra t a n d t o se w ho h h g b p v b h f l f , h ’ B a ur s i e w o f the n e e d o f i te r a n d r i te r o o w i ag r e e W i th M r . lfo v l g h b g h b k s ll fi n d h e re m e t i to e ase t e m si n c e ro a d um o ur a n d ro i c i n a d e n ture c ara cte ri s so h ng pl h , b h ll k g v h e

the stor . A C i t c er r ise s ro m o sc ur i t to a o si ti o n o f w e a t a n d di n i t y y l k f b y p l h g y , d c a rri e s us W i t h i m a ll the w a c o n do n i n h i s r a sca i t fo r the sa e o f h i an h y, g l y k s

re ad um o ur a n d c e e r o ti m i sm . A ter all h e i s a m e rr ro ue a n d he w o r s y h h y p f y g , k n o r e a t ar m to a n o n e a n d m uc h o o d to i m se a n d i n c i de n ta to m o st o f t o s g h y , g h lf, lly h e ' n ta c t T i s a m usi n sto r doe r di t t w i th w h om he co m e s i n co . h g y s c e o th e w ri ter s i n ui t w i t o ut utti n too re a t a strai n o n th e cre du i t o f th re ader n g e y h p g g l y e .

i n i . A T h r e D e st e s . . T L L O D T h e e J . Y " A ut or of T he L a 0 . e n s n to n a r e n s A re at R uss a n h dy K i g G d , G i

R e a st e tc . li ,

T i s stor re a te s the a d e n ture s o f t re e o un g ir s a n d a b o of e i h tee n w ho h y l v h g l y , m ee t c a n ce e ore th e sta tue o f T he T yre e a te s i n the B ri ti s l . use um a nd by h b f F h , the re a ttra ct th e a tte n ti o n o f a n o ld pro fe ssor w ho de te rm i n e s to br i n g th e m to g e the r a a i n a n d e e ri m e n t w i t t e i r o u n g i e s w i t the c uri o si t of a c e m i st e x e ri g , xp h h y l v h y h p

m e n ti n w i t c h em i ca s . T he sce n e s i ts i n tur n to I re a n d to Par i s B ri tta n a n d g h l h f l , , y, ie n n a a n d the e ro i s a w a s un de r the s e o f t a t i rst c a n ce m e e ti n i n V , h l y p ll h f h g the t e r a W i hi i n t u O n e e rso n a te r o s t s e . a d a a i fr o n t of the s at e . p f h pl y h l f g n an d ' a a in he a n d the o t e rs re or t t e m se e s o n N e w e a r s Da to the o ld ro e sso r h p h lv Y y p f , w 0 re a ds a m oc k i n l th e um e o f li ve s t a t he i m se h a s ro duce d un ti i n h lf g y j bl h h lf p , l the e n d th e h e ro re a l i se s th a t th e se y o u n g g i rl s h a ve be c om e to hi m i n tur n m ode rn i n te rpre te rs o f th e th re e a n cie n t De sti n i e s.

i n a th e F a i r AT E C o l u m b e t . K H O R N “ ” ” f u a n a n d T he D u e T h e e O w l A ut or o S s t e tc . h k , Whi ,

u n i n e L e a i n th M i ss K ate Hor n h as h e re ta k e n p a n e t re ly n e w li . v g e style w h ich “ m ade E dw a rd a n d I a n d M rs. H o n e un so suc ce ss u sh e ere i e s a cri tic yb f l , h v a l o f study of a g i rl w h o se so ul l i e s dorm an t u n ti l th e to uc h l o ve a n se lf sacri ﬁce w a e s i t the a n d o f a i tt e c i d. M uc suc ce ss i s e e c te d for h er n e w stor a k by h l l h l h xp y .

D T h e U n wo r th y P a c t. O R O T H E A G E R A R D " " A ut o r o f T h e C t o f E n t ce m e n t E o t c M a r t a e tc h i y i , x i h , .

T h e stor o f a o un m a n w h o a i n i n e ri te d a n e state ro m a n u n c e e i e y y g , , h v g h f l b l ved to a v e di ed i n te sta te n ds a W i w i c u ts a s a co n di ti o n of his i n e ri ta n c t h . ﬁ ll h h p h e he t ren un c i a ti o n o f hi s a i t . He esi ta te s to do i s a n d ides the W i fo r so m e ears f h h h h ll y , e o f i s e e d T h e v snﬂer i n g a ll the w h i le fro m the k n o w l e dg h m isd . e e n ts r esu l tan t from th i s se cre t a re re l a te d w i th a tr ue i n si g ht a n d w i th a se n se o f dram a a nd of ’ — Stanley Paul s New Six Shilli ng Novels co n ti n ue d .

T h n r h A R c m E A L n A R S HA L L e H o o u o f t e C li n to n s . M

" A ut o r o f E to n M a n o r T he M ster o f R edm arsh a r m h x , y y F ,

T h e E e st So n e tc. ld ,

i T he C i n to n s o f K en cote W i b e e r a m i ar to the m an reade rs of M r. l ll v y f l y . ' “ ' " " - M a rs a s w e no w n n o e s T h e S ui re s D au te r a n d T he E dest Son . h ll ll k v l . q g h , l " T he ce n tra l ide a o f T he Ho n o ur o f the C l i n to n s is to sh o w the S uite con ro n te d w it a se r io us ro e m i n w i c n e i t e r w e a t n o r osi tion can f h p bl , h h h l h p p him . He i s i n da n er o f a i n i n to the de e e st dis race an d has n o t i n b ut his g f ll p g , h se n se of h o n o ur on w h ich to re How he com e s th ro u zh the tri a l form s t e m a i n in te rest o f th e sto r y ; b ut i t i s also co n cer n e d wi th the lo ve aﬂai rs o f th e C li n ton twi ns oa n an d N a n c n o w row n u i n to ea uti u o un w om e n . , J y . g p b f l y g

T h HA R L E E . P E A RC E e E y e s o f A l i c i a . C S

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o f th e E a st, e tc .

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uadri e C o urt w ic ha s e e n the e ri ta e o f the B ra a on s e co m e s the Q ll , h h b h g b z , b ro e r t a t e n t o f L ad ir i n i a B ra a o n a w ido w a n d c i d e ss. B e i n on p p y l g h y V g b z , h l l g te rm s W i t B a si he r ei r L a d i r i n i a se e s so a ce i n the co m a n io n s i of h l , h , y V g k l p h ou n F i tzalan s he r i n s o ri n i n g t e m from So ut C a roh n a to ua dri pe Co urt y g , k f lk , b g h h Q l

a n d se e i n to la Pro ide n ce to t e m . M ea n w i e the se tt e m e n t o f k g p v h h l , l Q C o ur t a n s in the a nce e tw e e n B a si an d th e F i tza lan s ro t e r a n d si ster. h g l b l , b h

T h e A D ST E PN E R A w so rt W a te r e d G a r d e n . M U Y

" A ut or o f T he E n c a n te a r e n T he T ree A n arc ists etc. h h d G d , h h ,

A n o e n - a ir rom a n ce the ri nc i a action ce n tr i n i n the arde n o f a W est p . p p l g g C o un tr M a no r sta n di n u o n a w oo ded stua r . i t i th o e st r o f Be ttin a y . —g p e y s e l v o y C o e the tra i o co m ed w i c i s m t o m d -o f w o i ri w it i t a se nse l , g y h h os ly c e h se l fe ca r es h “ o f the assi o n a n d c arm of the co un tr i t e i ts success u ore - ru n er T he p h y , f l f n , ' E nc an ted G a rde n i t i s a o e ta e an d a lso the stor o f a w o ma n s de e o ment h l v l , y v l p am idst the i ve s o f h ri n ds a n o l er f e d her l vers.

’ - n t n ue Stanley Paul s New Slx Shilling Novels co i d .

’ L i i L o m s n a R o s s ar f e s L a st G f t.

he oo fo r w c A H e n c co x. T t a re a ce D r . . c Wi h p f by F . ( b k hi h a co m m i tte e o f Pa risia n la die s a w arded the prize o f £ 2 00 for the best Fre n c h n o ve l publi sh e d i n “ T his po ig n a n t an d con vi n ci n g n arrative te ll s o f a yo un g a m bi ti ous m an w h o ‘ i s o v rw hc i a ste r He str n e s to re e i m se e m e d by the dre a d o f i m pe n di n g d s g l f h lf, b ut o n e e n I n h is m ise r a n d re ad t ere co m es a s ly b co m s m o re dee ply e tra pped . y h ' " i L i fe s L a st G ift a ro m an ti c pa ssi o n w hic h ca n n o t b e req ui te d b ut e stra n g es h m for a ti m e ro m t o se m ost de ar a n d t e n ea e s him to turn W i t a re n e w a of ai t f h . h l v h l f h to the arm s w i h h a s un d h c h e sh n e . t I t s ea s to all T he be a uty o f thi s bo ok li e s i n i ts ab so l ute si n ceri ty an d tr u h . p k i m e n a n d w o m e n w ho rea li se ho w g re a t an d te rri ble a po sse ssion i s l fe .

B ra v e B r i a n ds M A Y W YN N E g . ” A ut or of T he R e d e ur- de - L s T he D est n o f C au e h Fl y , i y l d ,

e tc e tc .

A t the ti me o f the re n c Re o utio n duri n th e sie e o f C ar e n tra s the B ra e F h v l , g g p by v - — Btig a i i ds the so ldie rs o f a n I rish m a n n a m e d Pa tri an a ttack i s frus tra ted by the c e e rn ess a n d co ura e o f a o un i rl w ho i n h e r a d e n tu re s m ste rio us due l v g y g . , v , y ly I u o ts a n d c oun ter a pe a rs. n q ic k succe ssion th ere ollo w e ve n ts co n ce rn i n g th e pl o ts o f ari stoc ra ts a a i sts a n d re o uti o n a rie s a n d a m i d a l ve n ture s o f o e p , p p l v l , l v a n d w ar th e sto r I t i s t ri li n and y lea ds up to the fa m o us G l ac i er M assa cre s. h l g ro m an tic rom e in n i f b g n g to e n d. T i a n te d o l d . H N O E L VVi L u A i ts G .

" A ut o r o f A T e n Poun Pe n a t e a r S ste rs e tc. h d l y, Fiv F i i ,

G e ra d C a rt e w a o un L o n do n B a rriste r w o se c are e r ha s h i t e r to ee n ui te l h , ) g , h h b q une e n t u s udde n n ds hi m se lt i n o e d i n c i rc um sta nc es w i c e a e n o ro om v f l , ly ﬁ v lv h h l v for do u t t a t da sta r e b h a dly co n spi rac y has be e n for m e d a g ai n st hi s li te . F or so m s ti m e . o w e e r all a tte m ts to di scm e r the i n ti a tors o r t e i r m o ti e are un suc h v , p g h v ' cessful ; a n d i t i s n o t u n ti C a rthe w s re atest rie n d ha s a e n a ic tim in hi s stead l g f f ll v , an d he h im se lf ha s be e n n e a rly l ure d to destruc tio n by a be a utiful A m eri ca n g i rl w h o h a i s e e n m a de the i n n c ce n t dec o o f the co n s i ra to rs t a t the tr ut is r e ea ed. b p , h h v l T he stor the ac ti o n o f w ic i s fe d i n E n a n d N e w Yc rk a n d at the Ri iera y , h h l g l , v , con tai n s so m e t ri n m t étt u e m on t h lli g om e n s a n d a m ost un e xpec te d d o . T h e L st D i . VI L L I E R T A T o e st n y . G S S U R ‘ T he L ost Desti n i s a n o e s ow i n the w or i n o f the u n se e n a n d l a nd y v l h g k h . te lli n g the stor y o f a m a n w ho shi rked h i s de sti n y a n w a s fo rce d to w a tc h the care e r o f an o t e r w ho ro se to e i ts o f n a tion a am e w i e h e i m se dri te d h h g h l f , h l h lf f i e c a e ore the w i n d. I t i s a stri i n n o e u o f i n ci de n t a n d i ustr atin l k h ff b f k g v l, f ll , ll g th e re a ti o n s i f i a n d de ti l h p o l fe s n y .

H i M i n A A N D E R SO N s a g n ﬁ c e o e . J

A u t o r of T h e R o m a n ce of F ra o L T he R o ma nce h Filipp ippi , " o f San ro B o tt ce e tc . d i lli , nd n e a i tur o t i n t is asc i n a ti n o um e M r A . . A erso i s c e f he e tr aor di nar h f g v l , J g v p x y e rso n a i t o f Lo re n o de M edia ( L ore n zo the M ag n i ce n t) a m id a stro n g se tti n of p l y z ﬁ . i n d ni he lo ve , ti n o tti n , assa ssin a ti on s, re i o n a ag a sm of the I an k ﬁg h g , pl g l g p e n ai ssa n c e . ' St n — o n t n ue a ley Paul s New Six Shilling Novels c i d .

h D O G L A S S L A IJE N T e C u r se of th e N i l e . U “ A u t o r o f T h e U n o E sta te T he T ra e o f th e h h ly , g dy

P ra m s e tc . y id ,

A ov e rt M r. S a de n n e l de a l i n g w i th the city of Kh artum a n d the E g y ti a n D es . l i s a t hi s e st w e n h e i s de scr i i n e c i ti n sce n e s a n th e o o i s u o f t m ; b h b g x g , b k f ll he a uti u b ut i e his o t e r n o e s i t i s a so u of ro m a n c e . I t te s the sto r o f a e , l k h v l , l f ll ll y b f l w i te w o m an w ho e i n c a ture d a t th e a c l ar tum ha s to e n te r the a re m h , b g p f ll Kh , h o f W - - W n she i s re scue d a d e l N e um i the r a e st o f all the e n e ra s o f the M a di . e , b v g l h h o n the a ta e ld o f T o sk i th e u esti o n a rise s C a n th e er o an E n i s m a n . m a rr f l , q , h , g l h y ' — n h e r G re a t ur e s sta n d o rt i n M r . S ade n s a e s a o e a ll the e roi c G ordo ﬁg f h l p g b v , h i n hi s ast m o m e n ts a t artum l Kh .

T h e M m i r M i m s E dite d b A N N E E L L I O T e o s o f o a . y

T he i n ti m a te a n d u n ﬂi n c i n co n fe ssm n o f a ri i an t e ro ti c a n d un di sci ined h g b ll , , pl " w o m a n w h o re so e s to i e e e r m om e n t o f he r i e a n d succe e ds i n so do m g , lv l v v l f , a t the co st o f m uc suf e ri n to rse i a n d o t r H e r m i ture o f o r d i n ss h f g e l h e s . x w l l e , se n ti m en t a n c a ssi o n a n d e tra ordi n a r ou: do vi vre m a e h e r a fa scm a ti n g , f y , p , x y y k stud o f a t e so m e w a t ra re A t h e r de a t she b e ue a th e d t e se M e m o irs to th e y yp h . h h ’ w o m a n ri e n d W e e t th e w o m a n s f w h o e di ts th e m a n d pre se n ts th e m to the w or ld . g oi n t o f i e w i n a ll m a tter s— o e tr o i ti cs s ort m usic the sta e a n d dom i n p v p y , p l , p , , g , . ati n a ll the re a t ro e m s o f se x g , g p bl .

T h e P i t o f C o r r u ti o n W I N I R E D R A HA M p . F G “ ” A ut o r o f or w t ou t E n d T he L o e Sto r of a h W ld i h , v y " M orm on , e tc . ' A n a sto un di n sto r i s W i n i re d G ra am s a test w or . I t t ro s W i t i e g y f h l k h b h l f , a ssm n a te a n d vi id a n d e t de a s w i t m a tters o utside th e re a m o f e ar t p v—, y l h l hly e x i ste n c e a l tog e th e r m a tte rs be y o n d the tho ug h ts o f da i l l i fe a n d ye t o f star tl i n g i m o r ta n c e to e e r m a n a n d e e r w o m a I t de a s w i t th e Pi t o f C orru ti o n p v y v y n . l p the p i t w h e re a so u l ca n w ork o ut i ts sa lva ti o n both i n thi s w or ld an d a l so i n th e re a t u t e o n d w i c s i n e s the di i n e m a n ti L i t T he w or d- i e a n d the g g l b y h h h v g e c g h . l l f s i ri t- i e a re sha r c on tra ste d i n the n o e a n d t ro u a ll r un s the sto r of a p l f ply v l , h g h y ‘ ou n ir s i e a stor o f o e r w m i n rso n a i n te re st to e er r e ade r. y g g l l f , y v he l g pe l v y

RE N A Z I N T h e R e d e e m e r . é B

" ” A ut or o f T h e C ren of A sa ce T he N un R e e m t on h hild l , , d p i ,

e tc . T hi s i s a m o vi n g a n d pro fo un dly po w e r ful ro m a n ce o f vi ll a g e li fe i n th e L oire I t i s th e o e sto r o f a e a uti u o u n r e n c sc o o te ac e cou n tr y . l v y b f l y g F h h l h r a n d a w or e r i n the n e i o ur i n s a te ua rri e s w h o are for a tim e se a ra ted th e k g hb g l q , p b ' m a n s re io us i n c i n a ti on tow a r ds a w om a n i i n a w a rom h e r b us an d p v l l v g y f . T he de e o m e n t o f th e eroi n e stron e d i n c ec he r m ora e e i n s a n d v l p h , g ly h l h k by l f l g , th e a tti tude o f the e ro to the w o m a n to w om he i s a rea d un i ted are to d wi t h h l y , l h o n sidera e i n si t o w er an d c arm . c bl g h , p h

’ ’ W A R C u pi d s C a te r e r s . D MU I R f “ " ” A u t or o T h e A m a z n M ute s e n w e are R c e tc . h i g , Wh i h ,

W e e M urdo c a di e tta n te w a n de re r co m e s to L o n do n de te rm i n ed to e a r n hb k , l , a - m arr i n i nco m e . A ter a stru e w i t o ur n a i sm a s a re e an ce h e nds h i m y g f g g l h j l f l , ﬁ m o e d as sub - edi tr e ss o n a o u a r e m i n i n e w e e T he e tra rdi n se lf e pl y p p l f kly . x o ary ture o f h i s w or i n de scri i n w i c th e a ut or tur n s a i t o n b e w a s o f M n a k , b g h h h l g h y y ee t Stre e t w e re n o n o e ist ha s tro d e or e a n d the e c u i a r c a ss o f i te ra r a c s h v l b f , p l l l y h k n d a rti sts w i t w om he co m e s i n c o n ta ct o rm the a c r o u n d of a n o e l a h h , f b kg v l fu l f stran e re e a ti on s i n to w ic are w o e n the t re ads o f tw o e r di f e re n t o g v l , h h v h v y f lo ve aﬁa i rs. ’ — Stanley Paul s New Six Shilli ng Novels c on tin ued .

W L L I A M M A O N A v T h e F r u i t o f I n di sc r e ti o n . S I R I

" " A ut or O f Th e L o n a n Pa u B ur on etc. h g H d , l d , i e d a n d the A stor y of m urder an d m yste r y i n w h ic h the i n te r est i s w e ll susta n h e e st ma n 1 8 c a r ac ters a re con i n ci n . O th e e v e o f a co un tr o use w e ddi i t h v g n y h , b i il l i e d o n the un ti n d C a ta i n R o uth a m i s a s e d to t‘ge hi s ace . k ll h g ﬁ e l . p k l b sudd n l d w r t b e e O f e isa e ar s a n d hi s o d i s o un d o n the r ai a t ac . h lp pp b y f l y k . R o t a a m o us de tec ti e the m ste r i s radua c e are d u an d i s ro u t a t ast l . v , y y g lly l p, b g h l to a start i n den o ue m en t l g .

T h e R D N A L H A M I L T O N H A i N a s e tu r n o f Pi e r re . O

De ta e With a fron tispiece from a pai n ti n g by E d oua rd ill .

A g ai n st the i id ac ro un d o f the ran co -Ge rm an W a r t er e s i n es o ut i n t i s v v b kg F , h h , h t e r n o e the er um a n stor o f Pi err e L a fitte a re n c c oun tr la d. O v l , v y h y i . F h — h rom i n e n t ures i n the stor are the w o m a n Pi e rre o e s her fa t ar a fi n e o ld p fi — y l v , C o o n e o f gra oo n s a ti d Ge rm a n 5 n o t w i t o ut a ttracti e ua i ties w ose l l g a h q l , h ‘ Py v a te e com es e n ta n e d w i t t e ir l he o o a o u nds i n stri k i n si tua ti on s, f b g l h h s. b k b i n c udi n th e di sco e r a n d e sca e O f the s th e de ar ture o f the o n s for l g v y p py , p c the w ar th e re m o rse o f a re n c Ge n e ra w ho e e s e rso n a re s on si e for , F h l f l p lly p bl t e m e n he h as st - r o f the de e n ce o f o , a n ig t i n a o s i ta te n t, the ast fli c e h o l h h p l l k f i Par s, a n d the e n tr o f th e G erm an troo s I t i s a re ma r a e oo . y p . k bl b k

A B a F R A N K DA N B b e i n B o h e m i a . Y " A u t o r O f T h e e art of a C h D r. P s e tc . e tc . h H ild , hillip , , r i th e t on ( di i ) .

ran Dan to ai n i n orm a tio n for t is n o e oin e d th e Sa a ti o n A rm F k by, g f h v l , j lv y w en t t ro u t e i r tra in in o m e a n d R e u e a tC la ton a n d n a eca m e atta c e h h h g h f g , ﬁ llyb h “ " to the de t of the ao - ca e d G utter S um a n G a rre t B ri a de ro m w i c ll , l g , f h h the w ork am o n th - e a i n ee n g e e r oor est i s ca rri e d o ut. T i s u e n g t n o , g O v y p h f ll l h v l h v b o ut o f ri - the n t, ha s n o w e e n rac ti ca te w ri tte n th e a ut or a n d a t o ug p b p lly by h , l h h t re ad of th e sto r re m a i n s e er e h a s e e n e te n si e re i sed a n d i t W i b e h , v y p b x v ly v , ll oun d to be as a s a n t n f g y hi g r ece n y do n e by thi s po pul ar wri ter .

- T T h e Sh e W o lf . M Axm s F O R M O N

A u or f m th e ren c t O A C O f C a n ce e tc . T ran s a te ro h hild h , l d f F h E s e B uc by l i F . kle y . T is i s a o w e r u n o e o f th i a n d ti m e s of C aesa re Bo r i a i n w ic isto r h p f l v l e l fe g . h h h y an d rom a n c e a re m i n e d w it t o d T he stor i s to d of the a duc ti o n g l h a s r n g h a n . y l b o f A a C o o n n a on the e ve o f he r m arri e w i t Pro e ro Sarel i w e n she i s carr i e d lv l h p l , h off to hi s a la ce t o m a d - i t T h e su se ue n t e e n ts , p a R e n bec om es i s sla ve m s ress . b q v m ore o r ess o o w i n i sto r or tradi tio n i n c ude the i n tro duc ti o n o f the da r o m a n l f ll g h y , l k w ma e trac ti o n w ho e n am o urs C msa re a n d o i so ns the w m e w i c the y x , . p by h h C o c um a n d her ld i di st r o se s w i t a de scr i ti o n o f o lo ve r Sa re ll e . T h e o y c l h p ’ msare s ast da s a n d dea t T is n o e has assed t ro u se era edi ti ons i n g l y h . h v l p h g h v l rance .

T h e r i c f h i E E E R E T T - R E E N P e o F r i e n ds p . . V G

’ " ’ A ut o r O f C e L or m e r s M arr a e Duck w or th s Dia m on s, h liv i i g , d " a f e ra t o n a tes e tc . tc . G lb i h Wy y , , M i ss E ere tt- Gre e n has h ad a re m ar a e o ut ut o f n o e s i n the t b l“t is v k bl p v l . h — - t e sto r on e h er a te st i s the o n es t an d stro n e st sta n di n to he r n a m e . t i s h y , l , l g g o f a n d e s m a n w h o i m rso n a te s his ri e n d in th e e r y b e st o f m O ti VC S . a f , v ' m es hi m se i n to co m i ca ti on n d da n s L i e all o f thi s au t o r s ta e s i t lf s a g er . k h l . wi t a star tli n h g c im a r .

’ Stanle aul Ne w x h i n o vel —co n t n ue y P s Si S ill g N s i d .

’ a r i l a r C a c u . A n Ai G b e s G de n . R ‘ " “ ” A ut o r o f T he D e an s Da u ter T he ua t es o f M erc h g h , Q li i y . " C n t w e a ac ute T o rs ra n c esca e tc . , F .

W e n Ge n e ra G asco i n earn s t a t hi s so n G ab ri e l ha s c e a te d a t ca rds he turns h l g l h ‘ h , him o ut o f the h ouse a n d l e a ve s hi m to ta k e re fug e i n a be auti ful W e st l n dia u ’ I s a n d w ic ha d o nce e on e d to G a r i e s i n o t e r T e re the oun m a n l . h h b l g b l h . h y g strug g le s a l o n g the th or n y ro a d o f a g re a t re n un ci a tio n a n d a supre m e sel f-sa criﬁ ce i ro m Da r n e ss i n to L i t. A c arm n sto r f k g h h g y . T h n h H A L L W E L L u r r a e S tr e g t o f th e H i l l s . I S n r c “ " “ A uth or o f A Be n e dick i n A rca dy P ri sc illa of the G ood ” ’ I n te n t T rou Sorro w s a te s e tc . , h g h G , w e i t w I n this n ove l M r . Ha lli ll Sutcl ffe re turn s to he Ha orth M oo rl an d w hi ch w as the i n spi ra ti on o f a ll hi s ea r lie r w ork ; i t de a ls W i th th e str e n uous l i fe of the m oors si t e ars a o a n d w i r a n w i t hi s stro n e st a n d st w T ose w ho x y y g ll k h g be ork s. h ' “ " “ ” rem e m er o ur a ut or s A M a n o f the M o ors A B ac e or i n Arc a d an d b h . h l y , “ A B e n e di c k i n A rca dy W i ll n o t h e si ta te to foll ow him a n y w he re across the m oo r an d i n th e r ti on o f A r di l s di ec ca a.

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M C H HUG . A n u proar io us pi e ce o f A m erica n w i t w hi ch h as a l re a dy score d a e a t succe ss at the G o e T ea tre L o n do n . I t is rom th e e n o f M r. A u u sti n M c u h w ho has l b h , f p g g , a i W . urri i rod uci n i t n e I ts ssoc i a ted i m se W t M r B ar to n C e n a s a o . h lf h . p g v l dra m a tic succe ss i i i E n an d as w e as i n A m eri ca ha s ee n e n om e n a an d as a g l , ll , b ph l , n o e i t w i dou t e ss re cei e an e ua w a rm w e om e v l ll b l v q lly lc .

’ ' I C HA E L \V. A E D e v i l s B r e w . M K Y ' ” ” A u t o r o f T he C ar n a s Pa st A R o n o o of ran ce e tc . h di l , bi H d F , a c A rm i sto n a w a i n to the a c t t a t i e h a s o t e r m e a n i n t a n t a t i e n i t J k , k g f h l f h g h h g v a fo x- un ti n s ui re e co m e s a c ua i n te d w i t He n r Hun t the soci a i st de m a by h g q , b q h , l o ue b ut a te r m a n ic i ssi tude s duri n w ic h e ﬁ n 5 he h as sa cri ce d ri e n ds g g , f y v , g h h ﬁ f a n d sw e e t e ar t to a w ort e ss ro a an da he eco m e s i n strum e n ta i n a u i n th e h hl p p g , b l b lk g C a n S tre e t C o n s ira tors of t e ir ot to m urder the m e m e rs o f the C a i n e t a n d p h pl— b b , e n r a i n hi old a n di n a d Pa m A s iri ted stor . e v tua lly eg s s st g n e l a . p y

Si r a l a h d f A H A M I L T O N D R M M O N D G a o th e r m y . U “ ”“ " “ A ut o r of S oe s of o T he ust ce of the n T he h h ” G ld , j i Ki g , T ree E n e o e s e tc . h v l p , A ta l e o f the Fre nch re trea t fro m N a pl es th roug h a de ﬁle o f the A n in e s i n the e a r i 495 . T he o p en i n g cli a ters re l a te the m e m ade by cer ta i n res e ss spi ri ts i n ih cam s o f a m uc - n e e de tru e re the t f ti o vo p h c be fo ba t l e o F or . T e n ce orw ard the de e o m e n t ee ds a o n u n co n e n ti o n a i n e s s o w i n h f v l p l g v l l , h g t a t the e ro Sir Ga a a d of the w ca rri e o ut the a ssoci a ti o n s o f a n i c n a me h h , l h y . s k i g e n i n der isi o n . a n d the ra i i s o o w ed t o u stum i n a nd far 0 6 a t ti m es v g l f ll . h g h bl g ly , t rou the i n cide n t f w h g h s o ar .

B r i n e ta a t B r i n G A B R i s L L s W O DN I L g h to . A u t or f r a te h o M a g g ie o f M a g . A n a m us i n stor o f a oun i r th e a id com a ni on of L a d B i n a w ho s e n ds g y g l , p p y , p a o ida a t a she sec on - ra te B r i ton b oa rdi n - o use a n d a lls i n to s ri o us h l y by, g h h , e di fi u he e n o s the e i a ra ti o n of f c l ti e s thr o ug h m a sq ue radi n g a s her em plo ye r . j y xh l ' her fe l o w od ers re s ec t b ut soo n m e e ts tro u e w i t a w e a t o un m an w ho i s l g p , bl h l hy y g t d a n xio us to m a rry a C o un tess ; an d a t the sa m e ti m e the e x tra e xpe n se s n e cessna e w her i t m i re o f dece ti on . T h e b oo h s by a ssum ed ra n de ur se t her farth er n o the k . M e t i s er li asan tl rou t to a a e n di n a nd tpro u ho n t i s decidedl a v y p y b g h h ppy g , g y a m u i s n g . ’ — n ti n ue Stanley Paul s Ne w Six Shillin g Novels co d .

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R M S E A Y . M o rti m e r Di xo n is a yoh n g j o ur n ali st w h o is sen t by his c hi e f i n a pursuit w h i c h ta ke s h i m i n to sta rtl i n g a dve n tur e s i n the C hi n ese Q ua r te r o f th e E a st E n d T i s i s a w ho le s am e re e stor of a d e n ture w ic e a e s the r e a ze r W i t . h . b zy y v , h h l v h f tr n i ar tio a se n se o s o g e xh l a n .

h D A T E H O R N S u sa n a n d t e u k e . K " “ A u t or o f E w a r a n d I a n d M rs o n e un T he te h d d . H yb , Whi ”“ " O w l T he L o e oc s o f D a n a e tc . , v l k i ,

L or d C ri sto er F i tz arde n i s th e m ost de i t u O f o un m en an d a do ts h ph l g h f l y g , p the O ld a m i ser a n ts des ti n e d for the a m s o use s hi s e lde r ro t er the f ly v l h by b h , c n i ca Du e o f C e ad e Hi s o e stor r un s a t cross ur o se s K i t e i n as y l k h l l v y p p , b g p Si on a te l i n o e w i t th e e a uti u b u t a m i ti o us R osa i n d w i e h e i n tur n i s o e d y l v h b f l b l , h l l v d Pe r a th e m o st de i t u a rt o f the tor ri by S usa n R i n g for . h ps l g h f l s y de sc be s a

c ara va n n i i i a r t i n the N e w o re st w e re C u id a un ts e e r e n . T e re a re g p y F , h v y g l h o t f un an d a t o s i n the ta e w i c s o u d ﬁn m an de i te d r e a d b h p h l , h h h l y l g h

A R A B E L L A E E A L T h e I r r e si sti l e M r s . F e r r e r s . K N Y b ” ” f T h at n of A n a h m a - n A ut or o e M t e T e o n u te r e tc . h i g h , W H , 6 th e t o n ( di i ) .

T he i rr e si sti e M rs. F e rre ts i s a a s i o n a e e aut the ido o f L ondo n soc i e t bl f h bl b l y . a n d o t to e t h e r to t e ir ar ti e he m n o f h r r vi w Ho ste sse s ﬁ g h t pl g h p s. e e w o ld e i th o t r f r the r i i e e o f dr i i n he r to H r i n am A n d n r a t o n e a n h e o p v l g v g u l g h . ye t o b e h o f a to uc e s h e r F or he r a m i tio n i s to b e n ow n to st r a s the m o sca n d l h . b k hi o y st e a uti u a n d ri i an t w o m a n o f h e r da w ho c ar m e d all m e n a n d succu m e d to b f l b ll y, h b

n o n e . B ut L o rd L o n a c e e r a n d a ttrac ti e m a n e stran e d r o m hi s w i e a s yg , l v v , g f f , l y sie e to h e r a n d th e sto r turn s u o n the ri a r an d str n le o f th e tw o w om e n o f g , y p v l y g the w i e w ho de o te d o e s hi m a n d o f the o t e r w ho o u o n d o f hi m i s o t f v ly l v , h , g h f , l h to a ri c e h e r da i n i m e cc a i i t a n d to o re 0 he r un i ue o siti o n fo i s c ﬁ zzl g p b l y f q p r h s sa k e . T h e re a re so m e c h arm i n g ch i ldr en i n the b oo an d som e ori g i n a l vi e w s on th e ' W ti n om a n s Q ue s o .

A n r h i A D T E P N E R A W T h e T h r e e a c sts . M U S Y S O N “ " “ A ut or of A L a o f th e R e e n c T h e Sta rw a o f h dy g y , i y ” " n r T he E n c an te a r e n e tc T t o o u . r e o n . H , h d G d , hi d di i

T e re a re i n t i s n o e a de i c a te s c o o a true a t o s a n d a fi n e e rce ti o h h v l l p y h l g y, p h , p p n of th e i m por ta n ce o f the ti n y i n c ide n ts a n d m i n o r h a ppe n i n g s o f da i ly li fe a s th e y a ffe c t the um a n dra m a . T he e roi n e i s the u n a o un W tfe o f a n e der w e a c rue h h h ppy y g l ly , k , l a n d e n ur io us m a n a n d the e ro i s a um a n ste so n a t i n e i ta e e n m i t w i t s p , h h p v bl h o r i o o si te a fa t er . B o t t e se c a acte rs a e a e a v i n fe r the u n e ss 0 i e the pp h h h h h v g f l l f , w o m a n w i t a n o e e rce ti o n o f w a t i s ri t e i n i n te n se de si ro us o f o un di n , h bl p p h g h , b g ly f g a re al h om e a n d m aki n g re a l h a ppi n ess a n d the yo u n g m a n o f w a rm ﬂesh a n db lc od ' re s o n di n to her ure w o m a n s o e a n d c are w i t m o re t a n m e re a f ec ti n p g p l v h h f o . u t i n i n th oo Th e re are ﬁn e an d be auti f l h g s e b k.

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T he e ro in e o f t i s str i i ng stor i s deco e d W i te S a e T ra fli ck e rs w h o it e h h k y by h l v , p ti i t un ti i oo d o r tun e she e s a S h e r i n a m i se ra ble ca p v y l y g f c pe s . he the n o ve rri de s th da n e rs t a t e se t he r a s a i r w i t a se cre t a st. a n d O lll l n a e a e g h b g l h p , ] g l g u e fa r ) re ssio n o f th e T raf c i n order to re scu e a i r ri e n d n d a t the sup fi g l f , fi s l a st the m a n w ho W i lllo v e he r a n d h ave sym pa thy for he r w or k ’ l — n n ue Stanley Paul s New Six Shilling Nove s c o ti d .

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i n t is sto r the e ro a se a ccuse d of m urder e sca es to N e w Z eala n d an d h y h , f l ly , p . t e re a ter m an y i n te re sti n a d e n tures a m o n the m in i n cam s is n a l h . f g v g g p . ﬁ ly re arre ste d an d ro u t a c to E n a n d w e re i n a n i n te nse l dra ma tic sce n e his b g h b k g l , h i n n i s ro e d T he aut o r i s i m se a ros e c tor w e l - n ow n ot i n t oce nce p v . h h lf p p k b h he C i t a n d i n e er m i n i n di stri c t the w or d o e r a n d his stor c on ta i n s m a n y v y g l v , y y re ve l a ti o n s o f mi n i n g li fe an d a dve n ture .

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iece o f w or . T he o t i s ori i n a an d on e di ﬁ cul t to w or o ut put the a n t or h as p k pl g l k , succ e eded w i t re at s i a n d de i cac h g k ll l y.

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a r t o f he r ua rdi a n a n d oo s w i t sus ici o n u o n a ll hi s co un se s for he r w e a re . p g , l k h p l lf L o s e i n te res ts ea d to com ica tio n s ge tw e e n the e roi n e he r truste e a n d he r l pl h , “ ” ' l v t o f W n a t i a i er . G a lbrai h y y e s s very rea dable bo ok wri tte n i n the a uth or s st e ge st yl .

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