The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, December 4, 2020 — Page 1 We Put the Vol. CCLXV, No. 6 The New Hampshire Gazette December 4, 2020 The Nation’s Oldest Newspaper™ • Editor: Steven Fowle • Founded 1756 by Daniel Fowle Free! PO Box 756, Portsmouth, NH 03802 • [email protected] • www.nhgazette.com in Free Press

The Fortnightly Rant A Court More Pious Than the Pope We are in a theater. We cannot We’re so old that we can remem- leave; the doors are locked and we’re ber when that sort of health out- chained into the seats. On the screen come would be considered a bad is a horror movie. thing by just about everyone. Now We’re about 300 reels into it. We the virus seems to have a constitu- should be bored out of our wits. ency of its own. We could call it the We’re not just the audience, though. Death Panel. We’re the cast, too. In Roman Catholic Diocese of Half of us are screaming, “Don’t Brooklyn v. Cuomo, the Supreme open that door!” Up on the screen, Court weighed Governor Andrew though…. Cuomo’s responsibility to protect Someone opened the door. Of public health against the right of course someone opened the door. pastors to risk the lives of their Not only do they have every right flocks. On November 25th, the to open it, but you, you hateful, de- sheep lost. spicable person, have shown yourself The Court’s decision was alleged- to be un-American by questioning ly based on the First Amendment: their right to do so. “Congress shall make no law re- Doors flew open all summer long specting an establishment of reli- at such a pace that, but for the horror, gion, or prohibiting the free exercise we might as well have been living in thereof….” That has somehow come a farce by Georges Feydeau—who, to mean that whosoever believes he let us recall, spent his last years in an knows the will of some diety has asylum, felled by depression. every right to spread a lethal virus. Now the data say we’re about to Thank Baphomet the practice of How odd. The highest judicial Our gametes may be sacred, but Then along came Gavrilo Princip. be hit hard—harder than ever. Ap- snake handling is dying out. body in a nation without an official once they’ve grown up into nurses, The tubercular 19 year-old and his parently that’s what it will take for us The next day, in the New York religion has somehow turned out to doctors, and grocery clerks, they’re little pistol started what was called, to smarten up. Even at that, there’s Times, Pope Francis—helpfully be more pious than the Pope. expendable. in those days, The Great War. In less no guarantee. described by the paper of record as On the other hand, maybe it’s not This principle was demonstrated than five years it knocked off ten The U.S. death toll currently “head of the Catholic Church and so strange. Maybe it’s just politics as yet again on Thursday, November million soldiers; in the process an- stands somewhere about 270,000. the bishop of Rome”—wrote in an usual. In the population at large, only 26th. We may not have an estab- other four million non-combatants A late-November page from the op-ed, “With some exceptions, gov- one American in five is Catholic. On lished religion, but we do have a somehow got in the way. CDC predicts a total of 294,000 to ernments have made great efforts to the Court, though, Catholics have quasi-religious national holiday. That horrific cumulative death 321,000 COVID-19 deaths will be put the well-being of their people an overwhelming majority—six out Everyone knows what Thanksgiv- toll was doubled, or worse, by the reported by December 19th. That’s first…. [They have] acted respon- of nine. How did that happen? More ing is. Obviously it implies that there so-called Spanish Influenza. Though another 30,000 dead between now sibly, imposing strict measures to to the point, why did that happen? is someone to be thanked. Who, limited to ocean liners, rather than and then. Have a Merry Christmas. contain the outbreak. Conservatives—many of them exactly? Thank Him or Her—or jets, the war spread the flu with a Most news outlets limit their “Yet some groups protested, refus- evangelical Protestants—have Them?—for what? vengeance. Not from Spain, but projections to similarly myopic sce- ing to keep their distance, marching been packing the court with Cath- NPR reports that the number of from Camp Funston, Kansas, it narios—as if this thing was going to against travel restrictions—as if olics for years. Never mind all that Americans traveling a significant covered the world, sparing only suddenly call it quits in mid-winter. measures that governments must mealy-mouthing during confirma- distance dropped a whopping four Antarctica. We were able to find one reputable impose for the good of their people tion hearings, the game plan here is percent from last year. Some of those The calendar says that once-Great source—the Institute for Health constitute some kind of political as- obvious. Use the Church’s antipathy folks may soon be showing up on War ended more than a century Metrics and Evaluation [IHME] in sault on autonomy or personal free- towards abortion as a battering ram lists of the late and lamented. ago—though some veterans of more Seattle—that’s bold enough to proj- dom!… against Roe v. Wade. Georges Feydeau’s sprightly farc- recent vintage will assure you that ect farther out, through February. “It is all too easy for some to take It’s easy to see where this conser- es, cited earlier, flourished at the hardly any war has ever really ended. Working from IHME’s estimates, an idea—in this case, for exam- vative juggernaut is headed: turn of the 20th century—about the If we were to travel half the way and applying a little extrapolation, it ple, personal freedom—and turn it Every sperm is sacred same time the consumption of ab- back, from now ’til then, we would looks pretty certain that this virus into an ideology, creating a prism Every sperm is great sinthe and coca-laced Vin Mariani rediscover a playwright who is per- will have killed half a million Amer- through which they judge every- If a sperm is wasted peaked. No wonder we remember fect for our times: the bleak—yet icans by March 17th. thing.” God gets quite irate. the period as la Belle Époque. funny—Samuel Beckett.

The Alleged News® President Humpty Dumpty Trumpty’s Great Fall resident Humpty Dump- If we get really lucky, though—yes, After a long and utterly pointless We submit Exhibit “A”: Sidney had switched millions of votes from ty Trumpty had a Great Fall. we know: Lucky? What a preposter- delay, that proof finally emerged “Kraken” Powell. As recently as No- HDT to Joe Biden. The software PSome people have said it was the ous thought, in the year 2020!—we this fortnight. In keeping with the vember 14th, HDT cited Powell as running the machines, she said, had greatest fall of all time. No one has will never again see anything like unique tone of his administration, one member of “a truly great team, been created at the behest of Ven- ever seen anything like it. this because 1) the majority of us it was revealed by the very efforts of added to our other wonderful law- ezuelan President Hugo Chavez, In fact, there may never again be will not stand for it, and, 2) despite HDT’s “legal team” to obfuscate it. yers and representatives!” Less than who, technically, has been dead for anything like it—because we might longstanding custom and many sa- Less clear is the matter of who a Scaramucci later, Rudy Giuliani, seven years. not survive this one. The last we cred Constitutional provisions to the is on this team. Lacking assistance HDT’s personal lawyer, and Jenna If we have this right, Powell may heard, President Humpty Dumpty contrary, the will of the majority will from the late Bud Abbot and Lou Ellis, a “senior legal advisor” on his have been bounced for alleging that Trumpty retained full authority to have a determinant effect on public Costello—creators of the immor- “elite strike force team,” issued a Georgia Governor Brian Kemp demand the nuclear football, right policy. But we get ahead of ourselves. tal “Who’s On First” routine—we statement saying, “Sidney Powell is threw the election for Sleepy Joe along with his next bag full of Big First a minor housekeeping note: cannot say which among this host practicing law on her own. She is Biden in exchange for a large bribe Macs.® for the rest of this Rant we’ll use of improbable goofballs—who not a member of the Trump Legal from George Soros. If we were in a comic strip, the HDT for short. Studies have shown have been springing up around the Team. She is also not a lawyer for Nevertheless, in a heart-warming joke would be on the angry, over- that seeing the real name of the per- country like psychedelic mushrooms the President in his personal capac- display of consideration for a person weight, overgrown child. Alas, we’re son in question in print has been around cow flops after a spring ity.” with a handicap—she’s too bon- not; the joke is on us. For all his vain known to cause nausea in 24 percent rain—are currently employed by This change in status came shortly kers to be on the elite strike force posturing, the real Michael Richard of the public in general, and 87 per- the President, and which are sim- after a November 19th press briefing team—Powell somehow managed Pence lacks the stern moral courage cent of our readers. You could look ply ordinary Americans unable to at the headquarters of the Republi- to submit some kind of legal docu- of the fictional Lucy van Pelt, who it up! Also, before going any further, afford their medication, who may can National Committee in Wash- ment—pieces of paper with words would long ago have triggered the we must expunge all doubt that this have wandered into the courtroom ington, D.C. Powell asserted that on them, anyway—to courts in Ari- 25th Amendment with glee. Great Fall took place. in search of a rest room. voting machines around the country zona, Georgia, and Wisconsin. These Page 2 — The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, December 4, 2020 have provided welcome amusement Schrödinger’s cat. It’s been chasing to real lawyers. Their comedic touch- butterflies, with predictably chaotic es range from slapstick—the word results. “district” misspelled in several dif- For example, the New York Times ferent ways—to more subtle and es- reported on Thursday that, despite oteric amusements stemming from losing the election, HDT’s frenet- errors in legalistic intricacies, which ic fundraising has brought in $207 frankly are beyond our ken. Suffice it million. to say that this elite strike force team It is perfectly normal, under these has, by losing literally scores of these circumstances, to assume a state of ludicrous cases, established beyond catatonic paralysis. Indeed, given the any doubt that, yes, HDT did, in present risk of exposure to a poten- fact, have a Great Fall. tially-lethal virus, that may be the Granted, that Fall was a direct wisest choice. Unfortunately, few of result of his having been pushed by us are able to conveniently avail our- seven million voters. All the same, selves of that option. gravity took over in the end, and We have found that it helps to that’s what matters. That, and a mess abandon our old fixation on certain- of states certifying the election re- ty, and embrace a more fluid under- sults. standing: we must simultaneously What will be the consequences of entertain any number of contradic- this Great Fall? We cannot be terri- tory possibilities. Having cleared bly specific. Doing so would require that up, let us proceed…. the use of facts; these days, every fact According to a real rumor, vague- brings with it a question: what is its ly attributed to occasionally-reliable source? Before you know it, you’re sources, HDT is planning one last tripping over your own footnotes. official act to display his contempt to announce his 2024 Presidential lowed steps, trailed by a squad of House Republicans to Americans: Indeed, writing about current for…well, everything except him- Campaign. No joke. Well, obvious- attorneys bearing binders full of Drop Dead events at all these days is like try- self. He may skip Joe Biden’s inau- ly a joke, but, seriously, people are indictments, and apprehending the by Jake Johnson ing to stab marbles with a spork. guration. talking about this. And one would Miscreant-in-Chief. What a unique staff writer,CommonDreams.org Somewhere, in another dimension, There is even talk that, on January be a fool to rule it out. and memorable career arc! From With mass layoffs persisting at Heisenberg decided to test his un- 20th, 2021, HDT plans to hold a One would naturally expect him Queens to Manhattan, from Mar- an unprecedented clip, coronavirus certainty principle by releasing huge event—no masks required— to time this tawdry event for noon— a-Lago to the White House, and, fi- deaths surging, and hunger on the it would be right out of the WWE nally—and forever, one would hope, rise nationwide, a group of House playbook. [That’s World Wrestling the Big House. Republicans on Thursday attempt- Entertainment, for you effete snobs. – Out of compassion for the soon- ed to pass a motion to adjourn the The Ed.] By scheduling his event to to-be-former First Family and its chamber in what Democratic law- coincide with Sleepy Joe’s, though, entire extended network of grifters, makers denounced as an “outra- he’d be passing up a tremendous op- we suggest a whole wing at Federal geous” stunt by members of a party portunity. Penitentiary at Leavenworth. We that continues to stand in the way of He’ll still be President until noon understand northeastern Kansas, on desperately needed economic relief. that day, and apparently able to get the fashionable left bank of the Mis- Though the motion, introduced away with anything. Be prepared, souri River, is lovely all year round. by House Freedom Caucus Chair readers, around 10:00 or 11:00 a.m., This proposal would dovetail Rep. Andy Biggs (R-Ariz.), was ul- for the January Surprise: a campaign nicely with HDT’s reported plan timately defeated by the Democrat- kickoff at the Lincoln Memorial. for a post-eviction media empire. ic-controlled House, the attempt to Let us be clear, here: the better Passive consumers of televised dreck adjourn was viewed as another tell- angels of our nature hope this does are already conditioned to gawk at ing example of the GOP’s refusal to not come to pass. The nation’s es- the incarcerated. Imagine the kind take seriously the coronavirus pan- cutcheon has no need of yet another of ratings he’d get as the star of “Jail demic and resulting economic crisis. disgraceful blot. to the Chief!” Through the roof! “People are going hungry and The perverse little devils on our Speaking of roofs…. they’re treating this like a game,” The city’s newest recreational space now has an official sign. Carved above other shoulder, though, are praying After so many years of that odious Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez the name–Paul McEachern Park—are images of a thistle and a shamrock; that it does. name appearing in huge fake-gold (D-N.Y.) tweeted in response to the they signify the Scottish and Irish ancestry of a much-loved local son. Our We can almost see Letitia James, letters around the world, is it really motion, which Republicans used sources in the neighborhood say it will soon be joined by another, more Attorney General of the State of too much to ask, just once, to see it to complain about House rules al- playful monolith, for the delight of future generations. New York, marching up those hal- where it truly belongs? lowing proxy voting to prevent the

Sometimes Old is Good “Happy The Fechheimer Building, one of the fin- to The arts are vital to our vibrant Seacoast community. est examples of a cast-iron facade in Port- Support Please consider supporting your many local arts and land, Oregon, was built in 1885. Listed in Progressive culture organizations in this time of crisis. the National Register of Historic Places, it was restored in 1981 by Russell Fellows Journalism Gathering together to experience the arts is the heart Properties, the principals of which enjoy a subscription to this newspaper. and and soul of what we do here at The Music Hall. The We are ever grateful for the unwavering support of our community, and look forward to seeing you when our New Hampshire doors reopen. Gazette” – Joe Keefe �/MUSICHALL �@MUSICHALL �/MUSICHALLNH 603.436.2400 • THEMUSICHALL.ORG B2W BOX OFFICE AT THE HISTORIC THEATER • 28 CHESTNUT ST • PORTSMOUTH NH The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, December 4, 2020 — Page 3 spread of Covid-19 on Capitol Hill. voiced similar outrage over the mo- “Leaders don’t abandon people in tion, introduced as U.S. coronavirus their time of greatest need.” hospitalizations soared to a record Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif.) high and the Labor Department called the GOP ploy “batty” and reported that a million Americans noted that “Americans are in dire filed jobless claims last week, a blar- need of food and paychecks.” ing signal that the economic crisis is Over the opposition of the cham- nowhere near over. ber’s Republicans, House Demo- The House GOP’s procedural crats in October passed legislation maneuver came as coronavirus relief that would send another stimulus negotiations showed signs of life for check to most Americans, restore the first time in weeks, with a possi- the lapsed $600-per-week federal ble government shutdown just seven unemployment boost, and provide days away and the end of the year aid to cash-strapped state and local rapidly approaching. Failure to ap- governments. The Republican-con- prove additional Covid-19 relief be- trolled Senate, led by Majority fore year’s end would be disastrous, Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), economists have warned, particular- has refused to consider the measure. ly given that more than 13 million “More people died yesterday from Americans are set to lose unemploy- Covid-19 than any day [before],” ment benefits as emergency federal Swalwell said Thursday. “We have programs expire on December 26. work to do. Yet, the House GOP House Speaker Nancy Pelosi just motioned to adjourn Congress. (D-Calif.), Senate Minority Lead- What the hell are they doing?” er Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.), and “Isn’t this a procedural stunt you President-elect Joe Biden have ex- ask? Sure,” Swalwell continued. pressed support for using a $908 “What makes it outrageous is a sin- billion bipartisan compromise gle vote now takes well over an hour proposal unveiled earlier this week to occur with Covid-19 restrictions as a framework for talks going for- in place. Then the chamber must ward, while acknowledging that the be sanitized. These are final days of plan—which lacks direct payments “Of course, we and others will The Republican leader’s remarks to mistreat workers with impunity Congress. It’s like pulling the fire and provides just $300 per week in offer improvements, but the need came just days after he circulated during a pandemic and giving more alarm during a final exam.” additional unemployment bene- to act is immediate and we believe a relief proposal of his own that handouts to coal CEOs means ab- Other Democratic members fits—is nowhere near sufficient. that with good-faith negotiations was immediately dismissed as a solutely nothing to the millions of we could come to an agreement,” non-starter by many Senate Dem- families who face hunger and home- Pelosi and Schumer said in a joint ocrats and progressive critics, who lessness in the Trump recession.” statement Wednesday. “In light of lambasted the plan’s sweeping li- This work is licensed under a Cre- the urgency of meeting the needs of ability shield for corporations and ative Commons Attribution-Share the American people and the hope exclusion of additional weekly un- Alike 3.0 License. Feel free to republish that the vaccine presents, it’s time for employment benefits. and share widely. Leader McConnell to sit down with Jeremy Funk, spokesperson for –=≈=– Democrats to finally begin a true, bi- government watchdog group Ac- 57 Years On… partisan effort to meet the needs of countable.US, slammed McCon- The 57th anniversary of the assassi- the country.” nell for “shilling for special interests” nation of John F. Kennedy came and McConnell and Pelosi spoke by instead of offering real relief to the went this fortnight with little if any phone Thursday afternoon for the tens of millions of Americans strug- notice. It could be seen as the open- first time since the presidential elec- gling to afford basic necessities and ing shot of the Vietnam War: three tion and, according to the Kentucky possibly facing eviction in the near million men sent to the other side Republican, had a “good conversa- future. of the planet to rain mechanized tion” about coronavirus relief and “The McConnell Senate enabled destruction on hungry peasants. an end-of-year spending package to the Trump administration’s mis- That war and the Warren Com- avert a government shutdown. management of the health crisis and mission sowed the seeds of Amer- A lone Trump supporter ventured into Market Square last Sunday night, “Compromise is within reach,” still insists on doing as little as possi- ican mistrust in government. Their bravely bearing the banner of his widely-despised hero. For moral support McConnell said in a floor speech ble to contain the economic fallout,” combined effects helped created the he dragged along a nearly life-sized image of the Chief Executive giving Thursday. “We know where we said Funk. “McConnell’s big idea world in which we live today. a double-barreled “thumbs-up” sign and grinning for no apparent reason. agree. We can do this.” of giving corporations permission –=≈=–

Murph’s Fortnightly Quote “The effect of power and publicity on all men is the aggravation of self, “It’s just a bad comedy sketch, really, a sort of tumor that ends up killing the victim’s sympathies; a diseased appetite, when you get right down to it.” like a passion for drink or perverted tastes; one can scarcely use expressions “The most important service rendered by the press too strong to describe the violence of egotism it stimulates.” and the magazines is that of educating people to – Pennsylvania. Lt. Gov. John Fetterman, Henry Adams, The Education of Henry Adams on Republican election-related court challenges [email protected] approach printed matter with distrust.” North River Woodworks – Samuel Butler Portsmouth, NH — (603) 682-4443 — Not-So-Random Thoughts from an Oregon Subscriber 51 Penhallow Street, Portsmouth, NH 603 436 6518 Local Craftsmanship Check our website for today’s specials! www.ceresbakery.com Open 7 days!

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Is 2020 a Watershed? launched the Moral Majority to mo- by James A. Haught bilize redneck religion behind the Maybe 2020 is a turning point— Republican Party. Then evangelist Pat one that won’t be clearly visible until Robertson followed with the Chris- the future. Maybe it marks the end tian Coalition. Election after election, of the four-decade epoch when the born-again white faith was turned white evangelical “religious right” had into a huge political machine. GOP enough power to tip American elec- strategist Karl Rove helped spur this Going “Back to Normal” tions to the GOP. powerhouse to elect Ronald Reagan Is Too Dangerous to Even Contemplate White evangelicals fought fierce- President in 1980. Later, it put George by Robert Reich you shook them awake and appoint- ly for Republicans this year. They W. Bush into the White House. “Life is going to return to nor- ed them in the middle of the night at Normal is a GOP that for years has gave about 80 percent of their votes In their heyday, around 1990, white mal,” Joe Biden promised Thursday any time in the last decade, could have been actively suppressing minority to President Trump and strongly fa- evangelicals were one-fourth of Amer- in a Thanksgiving address to the na- reported to their new jobs and started votes and embracing white suprem- vored conservatives in state elections. ica’s population. Their soaring political tion. He was talking about life after work competently by dawn.” Hallelu- acists. Normal is a Democratic Party These born-again fundamentalists clout meshed well with the “southern Covid-13, but you could be forgiven jah. that for years has been abandoning the have shrunk to only 15 percent of strategy” of former President Richard if you thought he was also making a All his designees, including Jan- working class. America’s population, but they’re so Nixon, who exploited Dixie racism to promise about life after Trump. et Yellen for Treasury and Anthony Given the road we were on, Trump politically intense that they were 28 shift Sunbelt states to the GOP. The It is almost impossible to separate Blinken for Secretary of State, are ex- and Covid were not aberrations. They percent of voters who went to the combination of Jesus and white su- the two. To the extent voters gave perienced and competent—refreshing, were inevitabilities. The moment we polls. Undoubtedly, they tipped some premacy produced a conservative po- Biden a mandate, it was to end both especially after Trump’s goon squads. are now in—with Trump virtually marginal states to the GOP, causing litical juggernaut. scourges and make America normal And they’re acceptable both to main- gone, Biden assembling his cabinet, early Democratic consternation on However, a demographic tide began again. stream Democrats and to progressives. and most of the nation starting to feel election night. But they couldn’t swing to flow left. America started losing its Despite Covid’s grim resurgence, They also stand out for their abilities a bit of relief—is a temporary reprieve. the whole nation. And maybe—with religion. People who say their faith is Dr. Anthony Fauci—the public health not to stand out. There is no firebrand If the underlying trends don’t the relentless decline of religion—they “none” became an amazing sociolog- official whom Trump ignored and among them, no Elizabeth Warren or change, after Biden we could have never can do so again. Let us hope. ical phenomenon, suddenly doubling then muzzled, with whom Biden’s staff Bernie Sanders (at least not so far). Trumps as far as the eye can see. And The rise and fall of right-wing, in the 1990s, then climbing rapidly to is now conferring—sounded guarded- For the same reasons, they’re un- health and environmental crises that born-again politics is a significant ep- one-fourth of the populace. Among ly optimistic last week. Vaccines will likely to stir strong opposition from make the coronavirus another step to- isode in America’s history. Until after young adults under 40, the church- allow “a gradual accrual of more nor- Republicans, a necessity for Senate ward Armageddon. World War II, many fundamentalists less ratio is much higher. This godless mality as the weeks and the months go confirmation, particularly if Demo- Hence the paradox. America wants shunned government, choosing to ig- group generally holds compassionate, by as we get well into 2021.” crats fail to win the two Senate runoffs to return to a reassuring normal, but nore this world and focus on heaven liberal political views and has become Normal. You could almost hear in Georgia on January 5. Biden can’t allow it. Complacency and hell instead. But white evangeli- the largest faith segment in the Dem- America’s giant sigh of relief, similar And they’re unlikely to demand would be deadly. He has to both calm cals—the most racist element of soci- ocratic Party base. to that felt when Trump implicitly much attention from an exhausted the waters and stir the pot. ety, some research says—were jolted by Meanwhile, religion suffered relent- conceded the election by allowing the and divided public. It’s a mistake to see this challenge as several breakthroughs that threatened less decline. White evangelicals fell transition to begin. Boring, reassuring, normal—these placating the progressive wing of the their vision of America as a Christian from one-fourth to only 15 percent of It is comforting to think of both are Biden’s great strengths. But he Democratic Party. It’s about dealing “city on a hill” favored by God. the public. Respected “mainline” Prot- Covid and Trump as intrusions into needs to be careful. They could also be with problems that have worsened for Victories by the civil rights move- estants lost enormously, and Catholics normality, aberrations from routines his great weaknesses. decades and if left unattended much ment and integration of public schools were battered by never-ending pedo- that prevailed before. That’s because any return to “nor- longer will be enormously destructive. upset conservative white believers. So phile scandals. When Biden entered the Presiden- mal” would be disastrous for America. So the central question: In an ex- did the loss of tax exemption by Bob Rising “nones” and sinking born- tial race last year, he said history would Normal led to Trump. Normal led hausted and divided America that Jones University, a fundamentalist agains have far-reaching political im- look back on Trump as an “aberrant to the coronavirus. desperately wants a return to normal, school that first banned blacks, then plications—boosting Democrats and moment in time.” Normal is four decades of stagnant can Biden find the energy and political forbade interracial dating. eroding the GOP. Many researchers The end of both aberrations con- wages and widening inequality when will for bold changes that are imper- Halting of school prayer in the have traced this sociological shift. jures up a former America that, by almost all economic gains went to the ative? 1960s—followed by the 1973 Roe v. Was 2020 a watershed point, when contrast, might appear quiet and safe, top. Normal is forty years of shredded Robert Reich is the Chancellor’s Pro- Wade decision—coupled with the rise the “religious right” slipped too far even boring. safety nets, and the most expensive but fessor of Public Policy at the University of feminism—and gays coming out of downhill to be decisive in forthcoming Trump called Biden “the most bor- least adequate healthcare system in the of California, Berkeley, and a senior fel- the closet—and the sexual revolution elections? Keep your fingers crossed ing human being I’ve ever seen,” and modern world. low at the Blum Center for Developing with racy magazines and movies— and hope that the future will confirm Americans seem to be just fine with Normal is also growing corruption Economies. He served as Secretary of and the end of censorship and “blue this blessed prospect. that. of politics by big money—an econom- Labor in the Clinton administration. laws”—these and more made white –=≈=– Biden’s early choices for his cab- ic system rigged by and for the wealthy. His newest book is “The Common Good” evangelicals feel their country had James Haught, syndicated by PeaceV- inet and senior staff fit the same Normal is worsening police brutal- (2019). This essay appeared atCom - turned against them. It drove them oice, is editor emeritus of West Virginia’s mold—“boring picks,” tweeted the ity. monDreams.org, and is licensed under into politics. largest newspaper, The Charleston Ga- Atlantic’s Graeme Wood (referring to Normal is climate change now verg- a Creative Commons Attribution-Share First, evangelist Jerry Falwell zette-Mail and author of 12 books. Biden’s foreign policy team), “who, if ing on catastrophe. Alike 3.0 License.

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phineas test The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, December 4, 2020 — Page 5

the Case for a Guaranteed Income in dark money being poured into (2017). This essay was published at assuring the confirmation of Amy CommonDreams.org and is licensed Coney Barrett and the 80 recent Su- under a Creative Commons Attribu- preme Court cases resolved 5-4 for tion-Share Alike 3.0 License. Feel free to corporate interests, he was performing republish and share widely. a profound act of critical patriotism— themselves and their children. Nearly –=≈=– without abandoning his presumed 26 million adults—one in nine—have Critical Patriotism allegiance to the American spirit of reported that their households some- by Jennifer Davis Carey creative entrepreneurship. for stockholders. The richest 10 per- times or often lacked food. and Winslow Myers Our civic culture does not encour- Inequality Gone Viral: cent of Americans (about 25 million “Pandemics should be the great The test of a first-rate intelligence is age the mingling of patriotism and The Obscene Numbers adults, most of them millionaires own equalizer,” says political analyst Fareed the ability to hold two opposing ideas in national self-criticism in a creative by Paul Buchheit 84 percent of ALL stocks. Zakaria. But instead “the virus is ush- mind at the same time and still retain the dialogue. In recent decades, at least as In a distressing analogy to the re- An Average of $1.5 Billion Went to ering in the greatest rise in economic ability to function. One should, for exam- far back as the Vietnam-era “Ameri- lentless surge of Covid-19, which has Each to the Richest 650 Individuals. inequality in decades, both globally ple, be able to see that things are hopeless ca: Love it or leave it,” right up to the disproportionately impacted low-in- Since the onset of Covid-19 in early and in the United States.” Brookings yet be determined to make them other- President’s inability to categorically come communities and people of 2020, the combined wealth of the 650 agrees, adding that “the costs of the wise. —F. Scott Fitzgerald denounce white supremacy, uncriti- color, there has been an unstoppable American billionaires has increased by pandemic are being borne dispropor- At this profoundly uneasy moment cal and critical love of country have transfer of wealth from desperate nearly $1 trillion. A trillion dollars is tionately by poorer segments of soci- in the American story, when neither been assumed to be irreconcilable Americans to the people who already enough to provide every U.S. house- ety.” the President nor the Vice-Presi- opposites. Witness the outrage when had most of our nation’s financial as- hold with a survival stipend of nearly What Can We Do? dent has committed to accepting the Muhammed Ali said he had no quar- sets. $8,000. We won’t end the accumulation of results of the election, the authors of rel with the Vietcong. Or when the While the great majority of us An Average of $25 Billion Went to wealth. As Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez this piece, one a white man, the other (Dixie) Chicks were pilloried for say- have been focusing on the health and Each to the Richest 15 Individuals. says, “No one ever makes a billion dol- a Black woman, thought it might be ing that they were ashamed to come well-being—and the very survival— Bezos, Musk, Gates, Zuckerberg, and lars. You take a billion dollars.” useful to write a piece together. from the same state as the President of loved ones, the super-rich have be- the eleven other richest Americans And we won’t end corporate wel- If our country is going to mature who began the second Gulf war. come “pandemic profiteers,” isolating had $922 billion around this time last fare. While we laud the work of the into its next phase, we citizens must Or take the police. It’s not an either/ themselves from Covid while riding year. As of Thanksgiving Day this year, pharmaceutical companies in devel- hold in our minds two ideas which too or between supporting them or calling the stock market to its highest-ever their wealth had increased by another oping a vaccine, and that of the tech many Americans consider opposed: out racism in their midst—it’s a both/ level. At the same time we are seeing $375 billion. That’s $25 billion more, companies for providing us ways to first, that the American democratic and. There are many good, profession- a dramatic demonstration of Naomi on average, for each multi-billionaire, communicate with each other during experiment is still the last best hope of al police officers—and the police are Klein’s Shock Doctrine, with the “per- although Elon Musk alone has added quarantine, everything they’ve done the world, exceptional, a “city on a hill;” enmeshed in racist structures and at- fect conditions for governments and about $80 billion to his fortune. stems from decades of research and and second, that to fulfill its promise titudes. They need help with this like the global elite to implement political An Average of $600 Billion Each to development paid for by U.S. taxpay- or even to continue to be called a de- the rest of us. agendas that would otherwise be met the Five Richest Tech Companies. In ers, and supplemented by government mocracy at all, America must push for Whites can learn a lot about love of with great opposition if we weren’t all March, 2020 the market capitaliza- subsidies. But the CEOs and stock- deep positive changes in its cultural, country from those systemically ex- so disoriented.” tion for Big Tech (Apple, Microsoft, holders get all the benefits. political, educational, economic, and cluded from that country’s benefits. In We need to ask ourselves: In a year Amazon, Google, Facebook) was $4.1 The only solution may be an im- religious institutions. the most excruciating holding togeth- of disease and death and destroyed trillion. By November it was over $7 plementation of Modern Monetary Both writers are old enough to re- er of opposites, consider the depth of families, should a massive, inexplica- trillion. A 75 percent increase in un- Theory, the pumping of money into call Lynn Cheney’s tenure as head of a Black patriotism forged in the fires ble increase in new American financial der nine months! No one has profited the general population through a the National Endowment for the Hu- of chattel slavery, mass denial of voting wealth go to billionaires or to health more from 70 years of taxpayer input Guaranteed Income, so that the ev- manities, when she advocated aggres- rights, lynching and terror, chronically care workers? Should unearned gains than these massive technology com- er-expanding disparities in wealth can sively for a more optimistic perspective unequal educational resources, red-lin- go to the few hundred richest Amer- panies. be countered by a surge in middle- and on America’s past, telling off historians ing, mass incarceration, and police icans or to the millions of American At the Other End of Inequality lower-class wealth. like Howard Zinn for what she con- murder. Consider that it is the move- households who have lost their means While the pandemic profits roll in Something has to be done to heal sidered an overly critical picture of our ments for the rights of those exclud- of support? for the millionaires and billionaires, the rupture in the sickened body of our origins—origins that for Zinn includ- ed—African-American, indigenous The numbers are shocking. Here’s the plight of low-income Americans nation. ed Columbus’s horrific ethnic cleans- peoples, LGBTQ people—that hold what happened in the year 2020: is growing more life-threatening every Paul Buchheit is an advocate for social ing of the indigenous Arawak peoples this nation to its espoused values and An Average of $200,000 Went day. Just in the past three months, ac- and economic justice, and the author of of the Caribbean. Behind Cheney’s demand that those values be expressed to Each of the Richest 10 percent of cording to research at the University of numerous papers on economic inequali- rosy take on U.S. history is the false through laws, policies, and practices. Americans. In November of 2019 the Chicago and Notre Dame, six million ty and cognitive science. He was recent- assumption that the only glue that will In response to the devastating im- Wilshire Total Market stood at about people have been added to the ranks ly named one of 300 Living Peace and hold us together is “my country right ages of extrajudicial killings of Black $32 trillion. After plunging at the of the poverty-stricken, with the most Justice Leaders and Models. He is the or wrong.” people we are amidst a resurgent start of the pandemic, by November dire effects on Black people and chil- author of American Wars: Illusions When Senator Sheldon White- of 2020 it had risen to $38 trillion. dren. and Realities (2008), and Disposable house comprehensively diagrammed Mash Notes, Hate Mail, &c. That’s a $6 Trillion overall increase Many Americans can’t even feed Americans: Extreme Capitalism and the correlation between the millions to page six

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How wasteful is the Pentagon? by Jim Hightower “Ummmm…no.” This executive “reprogramming,” precedent not only for future presi- –=≈=– But that’s no hill for a narcissistic as the White House euphemistical- dents, but also for our young people’s “Defying Congress, Trump Plans emember when candidate climber. Unable to get tax money le- ly calls its daylight robbery, is being behavior; Two, our congress critters, to Renew Fight for Border Wall Trump promised not only to gitimately, Trump has simply stolen pulled off by masking Trump’s wall especially Trump Republicans, are Funding,” https://www.nytimes. Rwall-out all migrants crossing our it, taking money from the US mili- obsession as a “national emergen- setting a new standard of craven com/2019/03/10/business/economy/ Mexican border, but also to make tary budget. Ignoring the constitu- cy.” The Pentagon brass has been meekness in the face of this direct trump-budget-wall.html, March 10, Mexico pay for his xenophobic wall? tional mandate that only Congress yanking funds meant for the Army, executive assault on their authority 2019. Well, Mexico hasn’t paid a peso… is empowered to control the flow of Air Force, Navy, Marines, National and on our democracy; and, Three, –=≈=– and won’t. So, he keeps running to government money, Trump filched Guard… and ultimately from our by simply kissing off a budget loss Copyright 2017 by Jim Hightower & Congress, demanding that it pony $6.1 billion from our military last fighting forces. of more than $13 billion, saying it’s Associates. Contact Melody Byrd (mel- up unlimited billions of our tax year, snatched another $3.8 billion Presidential autocracy aside, in excess of the military’s needs, the [email protected]) for more dollars for his pet political project. this month, and intends to swipe at Trump’s massive larceny raises three Pentagon is admitting that the war information. Aside from one token appropria- least another $3.4 billion before the other interesting issues of public machine is routinely taking way too –=≈=– tion, however, Congress has said: year is out. morality: One, his trickery sets a much of the public’s money. from page five ficiency programs, which are mar- keted under the “NHSaves” banner. and evolved civil rights movement, On September 1st, the utilities filed Black Lives Matter, that once again a three-year energy efficiency plan demands adherence to proclaimed white supremacy enshrined in laws, Representative Dick Hinch of Mer- that would go into effect in January. American values. And as with pre- practices, and assumptions in ways sory Board of the War Preventive Ini- rimack. The complaining House mem- vious movements many whites have that require some hard rethinking of tiative. Publicly criticizing the Speaker bers—many if not most of them at last put their bodies on the line their identity. –=≈=– and eight of his colleagues, all of sincere and longstanding opponents and accompanied Blacks into the The brittle patriotism of whites Power to the People: them veteran ST&E members and of ratepayer-funded energy efficien- streets in protest. Yet as has become who feel threatened by the loom- The PUC Gets a Really Bad Letter one of them (Rep. Michael Har- cy—are right to draw attention to sadly predictable, white racism has ing certainty that they will soon be By D. Maurice Kreis rington of Strafford) a former PUC the significant increase the utilities projected into the simple slogan that a minority in our country provides Our pandemic-ravaged state commissioner, is not something for are proposing to the size and scope galvanizes and summarizes a move- much of the energy behind the cult could use some additional econom- an appointed state official like me to of the NHSaves programs. But they ment, the assumption of a threaten- of Trump. Whatever constructive ic stimulus right about now. So far, do lightly. But my job, as head of the draw precisely the wrong conclusion. ing exclusivity, labelling it identity structural changes we may make to Congress has not been inclined to Office of the Consumer Advocate, is “The increase in [energy efficien- politics. This assumption ignores the our system after he goes, none will deliver the goods. to advance the interests of residential cy] charges will impact everyone truth that the movement is only one be more important than those that So what if we could do something utility customers. differently, but some of the state’s aspect in the work of Blacks toward result in racial equity and acknowl- on the state level? Say, for example, That mission does not allow me largest manufacturers (and other full inclusivity in the American fab- edgement of entrenched white priv- injecting $350 million into the to remain silent in the face of a full high energy users) will pay hun- ric. It is easy for many to carelessly ilege. Black Lives Matter is nested in New Hampshire economy over the frontal attack on the state’s ratepay- dreds of thousands and in some cas- place the emphasis in the simple a bigger context: Democracy Mat- next three years, most of it spent in er-funded energy efficiency pro- es millions of dollars more in their slogan “Black Lives Matter” on the ters. a manner that puts local people to grams. electric bills every year,” the House word Black rather than on the word If the Trump administration work? And what if the net effect of Four years ago, the PUC adopt- members wrote. “This represents Matter. No Black leader claims only dares to question the results of the that spending were to save money ed an Energy Efficiency Resource possibly a 10-15 percent increase on Black lives matter, but rather that election, it will be a moment to take for every customer of an electric or Standard and, with it, the objective electricity costs at a time when many Black lives must also matter. to the streets peacefully—Blacks, natural gas utility? of “all cost-effective energy efficien- businesses, especially restaurants and The championing of a racial hier- whites, all who love our country That’s exactly the proposal now cy.” This means that what customers other entertainment venues, which archy by our bigot-in-chief and his while at the same time knowing we pending at the Public Utilities fork over, via the energy efficiency are high electricity and gas users, are enablers advances the concept of a can and must do better. And when Commission (PUC)—and it’s ex- charges on their electric and nat- managing substantial reductions in zero-sum game with the core Amer- this national nightmare that is the actly what nine newly reelected ural gas bills, can only be spent on their revenue streams.” ican value that all are created equal current administration is finally over, members of the House of Represen- programs that save customers mon- The word “possibly,” in relation and that the work of our democratic it will be past time for us all to come tatives are asking the PUC to put off, ey overall. The focus on saving all to alleged increases of 10 to 15 per- republic is to assure the full expres- together to engage in the difficult indefinitely. customers money means that the cent in electric bills, should give you sion of that reality. Those who make and continual work to achieve our The request came in the form of cost-effectiveness test ignores the pause. The alarmist rhetoric is just inclusivity impossible make identity country. a letter from eight members of the additional savings achieved by the that—alarming. The lawmakers are politics inevitable. Too many white Jennifer Davis Carey has held var- House’s Science, Technology and individual homes and businesses ignoring all of the bill savings that people cannot admit into the same ious positions in education and lives Energy (ST&E) Committee—plus where the energy efficiency mea- energy efficiency measures yield— mental space both love of country in Worcester, Mass. Winslow Myers, a very prominent name indeed. The sures are installed. again, both for individual customers and the reality of how much they the author of Living Beyond War: A first name on the letter is that of the Here in New Hampshire we rely that receive the measures at their benefit from ingrained concepts of Citizen’s Guide, serves on the Advi- incoming Speaker of the House, on our utilities to deliver energy ef- homes and businesses and for all

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Pseudo-Events: Trump and the White Rabbit by Jean Stimmell to people’s desire to be informed. He into pseudo reality was like listening that negative energy toward the des- argued that being in the media spot- to Gracie Slick sing her anthem at ignated fall guy (or a woman named rump has an uncanny ability to light was a strong incentive for pub- Woodstock about the White Rabbit Hillary). orchestrate pseudo events. lic figures to stage artificial events, and Alice ten-feet tall. History since Though Trump will soon be gone, TAny doubts I might have had which became real and important then continues to be this wild ride there are no easy answers in how to were erased after talking to an ac- once they had been validated by through an increasingly socially con- restore reality after our long slide quaintance, a smart, honest, and media coverage. Boorstin further structed fantasy. into fantasy. Two things could do it successful trades-person. I had al- warned that if the voting public Flashing closer to today, Chris but are probably as likely as seeing a ways found him confident and up- continued to be inundated with Hedges wrote Empire of Illusions white rabbit ten-feet tall: A stimulus beat, but today he felt besieged: he pseudo-events, these media stars in 2009, at a time when the gap be- program to lift up all boats, ensuring explained he’d been on edge since would soon dominate the political tween the affluent, well-educated that every American is able to live a the election but now was on high landscape.⁠ folks and the rest of the country was secure and dignified life; and a qual- alert, after receiving a text, warning Think Trump and his mass rallies. rapidly widening. As NPR said, af- ity and affordable public education that a BLM [Black Lives Matter] P.T. Barnum proved not only that ter reviewing the book: “One side is system, available to everyone, from gang was headed to New Hamp- people could be fooled, but that they based in reality and able to separate cradle to grave. shire, including his town, to loot and wanted to be, according to Boorstin. illusion from truth; the other side is “White Rabbit” –=≈=– plunder. He said he was ready: “my We have made illusions so vivid they rooted in fantasy.” ⁠ 3 by Nicolas Munoz 1 – https://www.theatlantic.com/ whole family is “locked and loaded.” have become our lives: “Yet we dare We are all, by now, familiar with entertainment/archive/2016/12/the- Unfortunately, fantasy had been not become disillusioned, because how Trump was able to hone his lebrity division of the wrestler’s hall image-in-the-age-of-pseudo-reali- winning the battle against reality, our illusions are the very house in P.T. Barnum skills during the years of fame. ty/509135/ long before Trump. I first became which we live; they are our news, our he was star of “The Apprentice,” a Professional wrestling, according 2 – Hedges, Chris. Empire of Il- aware of this dangerous trend after heroes, our adventure, our forms of virtuosity he practices daily, having to Hedges, is a venue expressing the lusion (p. 15). PublicAffairs. Kindle reading The Image: A Guide to Pseu- art, our very experience.” ⁠ 2 expanded his reality show to include “raw unvarnished expressions of the Edition. do-Events in America, published in Boorstin’s book first came out the whole nation. white working class…appealing to 3 – https://www.npr.org/templates/ 1962 by the political historian Dan- when I was a junior in high school, Chris Hedges takes us further nationalism and a dislike and dis- story/story.php?storyId=106853619 iel Boorstin. Praising the book 54 but I didn’t discover it until attend- back in Trump’s career to when he trust of all who were racially, ethni- 4 – Hedges, Chris. Empire of Il- years later, Atlantic Magazine said it ing college, after a long tour in Viet- was a professional westling promot- cally, or religiously different.”4 Using lusion (p. 6). PublicAffairs. Kindle had predicted the future “so neatly nam. Majoring in the social sciences, er, revealing how he first learned his old wrestling promoter skills, Edition that it reads, in 2016, not just as pre- I was flung down a twisting rab- how to tap into and validate the rage Trump is able create super pseudo “White Rabbit,” by Nicolas Mu- science, but as prophesy.” 1⁠ bit-hole without end, stranger than and hopelessness of alienated white events at his rallies: ratcheting up noz, is licensed under CC BY-NC- Boorstin defined a pseudo-event any drug trip by his book. Wrapping workers. He was really good at it, the audience’s raw, angry passion to SA 2.0 as an ambiguous truth that appeals my head around our crazy descent even getting inducted into the ce- a fever pitch, and then channeling all –=≈=– from page six “They say the religion of your fathers is customers as a group. good enough. Why should a father object Recently Eversource, the state’s to your inventing a better plow than he largest utility, signed a settlement cially businesses, these lawmakers do eral Court’s two lawmaking bodies. had? They say to me, do you know more agreement in a rate case now await- not complain about these massive than megawatts. That’s true unless You may disagree with me, in than all the theologians dead? Being a ing approval by the PUC. Here’s and ever-rising costs paid to gen- you use the kind of math that counts which case you probably want to perfectly modest man I say I think I do. an interesting factoid from that erators and transmission owners. costs but ignores benefits. know who besides Representatives Now we have come to the conclusion settlement. A really big industrial Neither, by the way, did the Business Please forgive me for yet again Hinch and Harrington deserve that every man has a right to think. customer—one using 2.1 million and Industry Association when it getting a bit law professor-ish, but I credit for the letter. The other seven Would God give a bird wings and kilowatt-hours a month—would filed a similar letter at the PUC on do have to add one more point. Al- signatories are Rep. Glen Aldrich of make it a crime to fly? Would he give get a monthly bill from Eversource November 10th. though the PUC is an independent Gilford, Rep. Troy Merner of Lan- me brains and make it a crime to think? of $211,180.95 under the new rates. Instead, the legislators zero in on body, structurally it is part of the caster, Rep. Jeanine Notter of Merri- Any God that would damn one of his That works out to $2.5 million energy efficiency. I think, at least in executive branch. And separation of mack, Rep. Russell Ober of Hudson, children for the expression of his honest a year. It’s a big number, most of most cases, this reflects a sincere be- powers is a thing. Rep. Fred Plett of Goffstown, Rep. thought wouldn’t make a decent thief. which goes to paying legacy fos- lief that if energy efficiency were so All of the PUC’s authority is del- Doug Thomas of Londonderry, and When I read a book and don’t believe sil-fuel and nuclear generators (the great then principles of free-market egated to it by the General Court, Rep. Michael Vose of Epping. it, I ought to say so. I will do so and take bulk of them out of state), the own- economics would naturally drive but once the Legislature has told the Good folks all—but, in this in- the consequences like a man.” ers of the regional transmission grid customers to adopt it. PUC what to do via duly enacted stance, all wrong. – Robert Green Ingersoll (including Eversource), and the Fair enough—but from the per- statutes, it’s not cricket for lawmak- –=≈=– (1833 – 1899) owner of the distribution system spective of a ratepayer advocate, ers, be they Democrats or Republi- D. Maurice Kreis is New Hamp- –=≈=– (which, for Eversource customers, is reality trumps ideology. And the re- cans, to send additional guidance to shire’s Consumer Advocate. He and his “Are you lost daddy I arsked tenderly. Eversource). ality is that negawatts—serving the the agency on an ad hoc basis. That’s staff of four represent the interests of “Shut up he explained.” In their laudable zeal to defend next unit of demand by squeezing especially true when the guidance is residential utility customers before the – Ring Lardner, the interests of New Hampshire’s more work out of the energy we are coming from only 2.25 percent (9 N.H. PUC and elsewhere. The Young Immigrunts (1920) beleaguered utility customers, espe- already using—are always cheaper out of 400) of just one of the Gen- –=≈=– –=≈=– North River Woodworks City Brewery, 1850-1880, For Sale ASE Master Techs, Free Loaners 418 Spring St. Portsmouth, NH — (603) 682-4443 3 mins. from downtown Portsmouth Galena, Il 61036 Local Craftsmanship call (815) 238-2939

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Pay is $10.25 – $10.75/hr. Please contact Ashley at (603) 568-4930 or [email protected] for more information. Granite State Independent Living is looking to add caring and compas- sionate individuals who are interested in making a difference in people’s lives as a Personal Care Attendant. Duties include: personal care, housekeeping, Alternative Clothing & Goods lifting, transfers, errand and grocery 33 Vaughan Mall • Portsmouth, NH 03801 • (603) 431-2243 shopping. We offer a flexible schedule and paid training. Page 8 — The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, December 4, 2020 Admiral Fowle’s Piscataqua River Tidal Guide (Not for Navigational Purposes)

Portsmouth, arguably the first whom you choose to believe. drags about seventeen billion moves from the mouth of the Twice a day, too, the moon lets all Badger’s Island, bobbing around in and bridges work their hardest. town in this country not founded The Piscataqua’s ferocious current gallons of seawater — enough to river, up past New Castle, around that water go. All the seawater that the current. It weighs several tons, Ships coming in laden with coal, by religious extremists, is bounded is caused by the tide, which, in fill 2,125,000 tanker trucks — up the bend by the old Naval Prison, just fought its way upstream goes and it bobs and bounces in the oil, and salt do so at high tide, for on the north and east by the turn, is caused by the moon. The the river and into Great Bay. This under Memorial Bridge, past the back home to the ocean. This is current like a cork. more clearance under their keels. Piscataqua River, the second, third, other player is a vast sunken valley creates a roving hydraulic conflict, tugboats, and on into Great Bay. when the Piscataqua earns its title The river also has its placid mo- They leave empty, riding high in or fourth fastest-flowing navigable — Great Bay — about ten miles as incoming sea and the outgoing This can best be seen when the tide for xth fastest current. Look for the ments, around high and low tides. the water, at low tide, to squeeze river in the country, depending on upriver. Twice a day, the moon river collide. The skirmish line is rising. red buoy, at the upstream end of When the river rests, its tugboats under Memorial Bridge. Sunday, December 6 Monday, December 7 Tuesday, December 8 Wednesday, December 9 Thursday, December 10 Friday, December 11 Saturday, December 12

1967—Chaplain Angelo “Charlie” 2006—The “Justice” Department 2006—Congress votes to destroy the 2019—Leaked documents reveal that 2011—The gundalowPiscataqua is 2006—President George W.[MD] 2006—The Portsmouth Herald mis- Liteky carries 23 wounded men to fires eight prosecutors for failing to U.S. Postal Service by making it pre- officials lied about the war in Afghani- launched on the eponymous river. Bush, on national TV, denies having quotes Sen. Barack Obama [D-Ill.], safety in Vietnam despite intense hos- persecute enough Democrats. fund pensions for 50 years. stan. Some profess to be shocked. 2004—Gary Webb, who exposed the ever been “a knee-walking drunk.” who, the day before, in Portsmouth, tile fire. For his bravery he is given the 1997—Six skydivers leap from a plane 2004—Soldiers in Iraq ask Sec. of 2008—The Governor of Illinois, CIA-Contra drug connection, dies 2000—The Supreme Court hears did not say, “The moral arc of the uni- Medal of Honor, which he returns in over the South Pole. Three of them die Defense Rumsfeld why their vehicles Democrat Rod Blagojevich, is arrest- from two gunshots in the face. The Bush v. Gore. verse bends at the elbow of justice.” 1986 to protest U.S. foreign policy. when their chutes fail to open. aren’t armored. He says, “You go to ed for attempting to sell a Senate seat. coroner calls it suicide. 1998—President Clinton begs for- 2005— “I think we are welcomed [in 1962—Speaking to journalists at the 1995—France is virtually paralyzed war with the Army you have…not the 1983—Ed “Meese is a Pig” Meese 1998—House Judiciary Committee giveness for his sins. Instead he gets Iraq],” says George W.[MD] Bush, Deadline Club in New York City, when 1.75 million workers protest Army you might want.” says people go to soup kitchens be- debates impeaching Pres. Clinton for three Articles of Impeachment. “but it was not a peaceful welcome.” Pentagon spokesman Arthur Sylves- global exploitation. 1993—Bill Clinton signs NAFTA, cause it’s “easier than paying.” lying about his lewd behavior. 1985—Veep George H.[H.]W. Bush, 2000—The Supreme Court selects ter says “It’s [the] government’s right, 1993—The Department of Energy shipping umpteen jobs elsewhere. 1970—Because he’s talking to Gen- 1992—Sen. Bob Packwood (Lech- at a Manchester, N.H., dinner hon- George W.[MD] Bush as the 43rd if necessary, to lie to save itself when admits it conducted more than 200 1982—To jumpstart a national dia- eral Al Haig, Henry Kissinger keeps er-Ore.) apologizes for being a serial oring the late William Loeb, reads President of these disunited states. it’s going up into a nuclear war.” secret weapons tests. logue on banning nuclear weapons, it simple: “Kill anything that moves.” groper but refuses to resign. aloud Loeb’s most scurrilous attacks 1998—For good measure, Congress 1951—The National Association of 1987—A disgruntled ex-employee Norman D. Mayer, 66, threatens to 1966—“We are in a much stronger 1987—Murderer Stanley Draper and against him. whups a fourth article of impeach- Broadcasters adopts a Code of [Cow- shoots a Southwest Airlines pilot and blow up the Washington Monument position than two years ago. [Com- gangster John Kendall are sprung 1981—Soldiers of the U.S.-backed ment on Pres. Clinton. ardly and Obsequious] Conduct. co-pilot. The plane breaks up while with a dynamite-laden van. After ten mies] will not be able to succeed [in from a British prison by a pal in a hi- Salvadoran government murder 900 1995—A Flag Protection Amend- 1937—The Supreme Court rules poll diving at Mach 1.2, killing all aboard. hours, police shoot him dead. Vietnam],” says Sec. of State Rusk. jacked helicopter. villagers at El Mozote. ment fails by three votes in the Senate. taxes Constitutional—why should 1985—Their warnings overruled by 1980—R.I.P. John Lennon. 1960—Its pilot asleep, a B-52 rolls 1976—In a memo to President-elect 1964—As Ernesto “Che” Guevara 1985—Arrow Air Flight 1285 crash- Blacks and poor whites get to vote? Ronald Reagan—selling arms to Iran 1976—As a prop man moves a figure into a dive over N.Y state. Fearing a Carter, pollster Pat Caddell makes the speaks at the United Nations, a 3.5 es at Gander, killing 248 U.S. para- 1933—Federal judge John M. Wool- and giving the profits to assassins is hanging from a gallows on the set of crash, the navigator ejects. That awak- case for a “permanent campaign.” inch rocket launched from Queens troopers and eight crew. Islamic Jihad sey rules that Joyce’s Ulysses is not ob- illegal—Cap Weinberger and George “The Six Million Dollar Man,” a hu- ens the pilot, who orders “Bail out!” 1971—The Senate, buying Wm. falls harmlessly into the East River. claims credit, which a sketchy U.S. scene and therefore may be imported. Schultz joke about jail visiting hours. man arm falls off. Turns out it’s El- The crewless, nukeless plane flies 100 Rehnquist’s lie disavowing a letter 1960—Seeing at the last minute that investigation attempts to deny. 1928—In Cienega, Colombia, sol- 1970—R.I.P. legendary cartoonist mer McCurdy, born in Washington, miles before crashing near Barre, Vt. supporting racial segregation, con- JFK has his wife and kids with him, 1984—Georgia prison officials elec- diers with machine guns open fire on Rube Goldberg, whose work inspired Maine in 1880 and hanged in 1911. 1958—Robert Welch Jr. founds the firms him for the Supreme Court. Belmont, N.H. resident Richard trocute Alpha Otis Stephens a second workers striking against United Fruit the Gazette’s business plan. 1972—United Flight 553 crashes in John Birch Society, which goes on to 1967—Trying to lower the cost of Pavlick defers his plan to crash into time, after their first effort fails. Co. At least 47, and possibly several 1964—Japan bestows the Order of Chicago killing 45 people including label Dwight Eisenhower a Commie. natural gas, the U.S. government ex- the President-elect’s car with his dy- 1983—Nancy Reagan sits on Mr. T’s thousand, workers die. the Rising Sun on Gen. Curtis Le- E. Howard Hunt’s wife Dorothy, who 1950—General D. “Dugout Doug” plodes an A-bomb in N.M. namite-laden Buick. lap and kisses him on the scalp. 1918—The U.S. War Department May, whose fire-bombing of that was carrying $10,000 in $100 bills. MacArthur proposes detonating 26 1966—In Vietnam, 16 U.S. Marines 1951—A few days after slipshod coal 1983—At a Boston trade show, “New ceases shackling conscientious objec- nation during WW II probably killed 1963—Lightning hits Pan Am Flight A-bombs to create an impenetrable are killed and 11 are wounded by dust removal techniques are approved Trends in Missiles,” anarchists turn tors to the walls of solitary cells. half a million Japanese. 214 over Maryland. A fuel tank ex- barrier across the Korean peninsula. “friendly fire.” by state inspectors, the New Orient loose 1,000 cockroaches, symbolizing 1917—The largest pre-A-Bomb ex- 1961—MPs hold civilians at Peterson plodes, a wing falls off, and 81 die. 1949—Ex-HUAC honcho J. Par- 1937—G.P. Thompson gets the No- mine in West Frankfort, Ill., blows the winners of a nuclear war. plosion occurs in Halifax when a mu- Field, Colo. at gunpoint as Tibetan 1953—Good ol’ Ike announces At- nell Thomas [R-N.J.] gets six to 18 bel for Physics for proving electrons up, killing 119 miners. 1950—Senator Joseph McCarthy nitions ship explodes: 1,600 die; and commandos, secretly trained by the oms for Peace, leading to an Iranian months in the slammer—alongside are waves. His dad won it in 1906 for 1917—Guilty of fighting back when (R-Bushmills) kicks columnist Drew windows break 40 miles away. CIA, are smuggled aboard a C-124. nuclear program four years later. two of the Hollywood Ten—for demonstrating that they’re particles. Houston cops rioted in August, 13 Pearson in the groin. 1865—Georgia ratifies the Thir- 1941—Japan attacks Pearl Harbor. 1864—Pope Pius IX denounces liber- padding Congressional payrolls and 1789—Moses Brown hires Samuel Black soldiers are hanged in unison. 1942—TheQueen Mary, with 16,082 teenth Amendment, thus making 1874—Angered by a Black sheriff’s alism, socialism, & rationalism. pocketing the extra cash. Slater, a Briton, to build the first U.S. 1838—The U.S. House of Represen- GIs on board—the world record—is slavery illegal—leaving a loophole for election, whites in Vicksburg, Miss. 1854—Pope Pius IX proclaims In- 1935—Investigative reporter Walter textile mill, in Pawtucket. By poaching tatives passes Rep. Charles Atherton’s hit by a wave perhaps 90 feet high. It exploitable prisoners, though. begin a month-long slaughter of 150- effabilis Deus, the doctrine of the Im- Liggett is Tommy-gunned in front of British technology and exploiting chil- (D-N.H.) “gag rule” prohibiting dis- rolls 52 degrees; another three degrees 342—RIP Saint Nick. 300 Black men, women, and children. maculate Conception. his family in Minneapolis. dren, Brown becomes filthy rich. cussion of slavery. and it would have capsized. 2:58 3:05 3:51 4:03 4:48 5:05 5:47 6:09 6:45 7:13 7:41 8:14 8:35 9:11

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Sunday, December 13 Monday, December 14 Tuesday, December 15 Wednesday, December 16 Thursday, December 17 Friday, December 18 Saturday, December 19

2009—Sen. Joe Lieberman [I-Conn.] 2012—N.H.-born Adam Lanza 2000—Sen. Phil Gramm gives En- 2005—The New York Times reports 2010—Street vendor Mohamed 2019—Donald Trump is impeached. 2007—A fire breaks out near “Dick” nixes a Medicare public option. shoots his gun-enthusiast mother, six ron the energy futures deregulation that the NSA has been tapping U.S. Bouazizi sets himself afire, thereby 2005—“Not only can we win the war Cheney’s office. Probable cause: spon- 2003—U.S. troops drag Saddam other adults, and 20 kids at a New- it wants, hidden in an appropriations telephones without a warrant. igniting the Tunisian Revolution and in Iraq,” says George W.[MD] Bush taneous inhuman combustion. Hussein out of a hole in the ground, town, Conn. school. bill. One year later Enron is bankrupt. 2001—U.S. troops at Tora Bora ask the subsequent Arab Spring. 962 days after Mission Accomplished, 1998—As Bill Clinton is being so final victory in Iraq must be immi- 2008—“This is a farewell kiss from 1997—Paula Jones’ lawyers maneuver for help catching Osama bin Laden. 2006—Bill Kristol predicts on “Fox “we’re winning the war in Iraq.” impeached for some hanky-panky, nent. U.S. death toll so far: 547. the Iraqi people, you dog,” yells Bill Clinton into signing a legal docu- Donald Rumsfeld denies their re- News Sunday,” “Barack Obama is not 2004—“America’s Most Wanted’s” Speaker-elect Bob Livingston resigns 2000—Al Gore decides he’d rather be Muntadhar al-Zaidi, as he flings his ment claiming he’d not had sex with quest; Osama walks. going to beat Hillary Clinton in a sin- John Walsh says he most wants Jahbir to cover up a bit of his own. righteous than be president. shoe at George W.[MD] Bush. government workers. 1988—Bush #41 nominates noto- gle Democratic primary.” and Alfonso Fowle caught. 1984—Due to a work speedup, 27 1988—In Texas, Ray Landry’s death 2005—George W.[MD] Bush 1986—Bill Casey, CIA director, suf- riously boozy womanizer Sen. John 1998—Impeachment pending, Bill 2000—“If this were a dictatorship,” coal miners are killed in Utah. is delayed 14 minutes when a tube falls blames his Iraq War on “faulty intelli- fers a handy seizure, preventing him Tower [R-Texas] to run the Depart- Clinton wags the dog: half the Pen- says George W.[MD] Bush on CNN, 1974—Norris Cotton finagles a bill from his arm and lethal chemicals gence.” He doesn’t say whose. from testifying about Iran/Contra. ment of Defense. His confirmation tagon’s cruise missiles explode in Iraq. “it’d be a heck of a lot easier, just so giving New Hampshire’s senior Sena- spray across the room. 1987—Chrysler admits it sold thou- 1983—Ed Meese denies Ebenezer hearings do not go well. 1967—“I know this beach like the long as I’m the dictator.” tor the right in perpetuity to comman- 1978—An eager public finally gets its sands of used cars as new ones. Scrooge exploited Bob Cratchit. 1988—Perennial Presidential candi- back of my hand,” says Australian 1996—Kenyan students protest the deer Daniel Webster’s old desk. first Susan B. Anthony dollars. 1986—Dick Rutan and Jeana Yeager 1969—The Mormon Church reaf- date Lyndon LaRouche—Rochester, Prime Minister Harold Holt, before killing of a student the previous day. 1973—Johnny Carson makes a joke 1974—Defecting oceanographer Sla- begin a nine-day, non-stop, around- firms its “no Black priests” policy. N.H.’s most famous native—is con- disappearing in heavy surf. Police kill two more students. about a non-existent toilet paper va Kurilov leaps from a Soviet cruise the-world flight. 1967—A 2.5 mm-deep defect in a part victed of tax and mail fraud. 1960—A U.S.A.F. C-131 hits a Mu- 1996—G-Man Earl Pitts is arrested shortage, inadvertantly causing one. ship, swims for three days, and reaches 1981—Secretary of the Interior James collapses the 39 year-old Silver Bridge 1973—Protestors celebrate the 200th nich steeple, then falls onto a trolley. for moonlighting for the KGB. 1946—The Viet Minh take on the the Philippines safely. Watts, defending taxpayer-funded over the Ohio River, killing 46. Anniversary of the Boston Tea Party All 20 on the plane die, along with 18 1972—Richard Nixon begins Op- French in Indo-China. 1954—Because he sold a house in a cocktail parties he’s held at the Lee 1960—Police in Palm Beach arrest by hanging Richard Nixon in effigy. in the trolley, and 11 on the street. eration Linebacker: 12 days of B-52 1944—Primarily due to bad general- white Louisville neighborhood to a Mansion, says “Mr. Reagan has the N.H. resident Richard Pavlick before 1970—Big Milk offers Nixon a $2 1951—Black Americans petition UN strikes against North Vietnam. On ship, two-thirds of the 106th Infantry, Black man, journalist Carl Braden is White House. I have Arlington.” he can kill John F. Kennedy with his million “campaign contribution” if officials in Paris and New York for the first night, surface-to-air missiles comprising 8,000 men, must surren- convicted of sedition. 1973—Richard Nixon personally Buick full of dynamite. he’ll cut milk imports. A fortnight lat- relief from genocidal U.S. domestic shoot down three Stratofortresses. der during the Battle of the Bulge. 1951—J. Edgar Hoover spooks Har- thanks the U.S. head of Rev. Sun 1922—Harvard’s President defends er Nixon imposes milk import quotas. policies. They’re ignored. 1957—Neon signs and car lots get 1941—Ex-corporal Hitler takes di- ry S Truman into purging “disloyal” Myung Moons’s Unification Church its policy of banning Black students 1965—Gen. Westmoreland, already 1947—The National Security Coun- their first jolt of nuke-generated juice. rect command of the German Army. government workers. for his support. from dining rooms and residences. commanding 200,000 men in Viet- cil, just 90 days old, gives the CIA $1 1946—Eddie Rickenbacker flies a 1910—Spurred on by the Baltimore 1949—An American League propos- 1972—The last men on the moon leave. 1890—Indian Agent J. McLaughlin nam, asks for another 243,000. million to mess with Italian elections. DC-3 over Broadway so Damon Run- Sun, that city mandates the racial seg- al to legalize the spitball fails. 1942—The second of two giant Soviet sends 39 cops to Standing Rock to 1960—Two airliners collide over 1944—Adm. “Bull” Halsey sails yon Jr. can scatters his father’s ashes. regation of residential areas. 1932—In the U.S. House, sporting propaganda planes crashes, again due arrest Sitting Bull; he and seven sup- Manhattan killing a total of 134. the 3rd Fleet into a typhoon. Three 1941—Outnumbered 10 to one, U.S. 1907—An explosion kills 239 coal goods store clerk Martin Kemmerer to misadventure. porters are killed, as are eight cops. 1950—Spooked by Commies, Harry destroyers sink; nine other ships are forces lose Guam to the Japanese. miners, many minors, in Smithton, Pa. brandishes a .38 and demands the 1907—The seven-masted schooner 1873—Erie County, N.Y. Sheriff [and S Truman proclaims a national emer- damaged, 100 aircraft are lost, and 1917—Prohibition, also known as the 1865—South Carolina passes a law floor. Rep. Melvin Maas (R-Minn.) Thomas W. Lawson runs aground off future U.S. President] Stephen Grover gency. It stays in effect until 1976. 790 sailors die, mostly by drowning. Organized Crime Job Creation Act, requiring all Black “servants” to sign talks him into dropping the gun. Cornwall, resulting in the world’s first Cleveland rapes and impregnates Ma- 1835—A two-day fire destroys 674 1927—The U.S. sub S-4 is rammed goes to the states for ratification. contracts with their “masters” and be 1864—Paraguay declares war on Bra- major oil spill. ria Halpin, whom he’d been dating. buildings in New York, bankrupting and sunk off Provincetown by Coast 1907—An explosion kills 361 coal min- “polite” while working dawn-to-dusk. zil; its population is soon halved. 1906—The U1, Germany’s first sub- He has mother and child put into asy- insurance companies and kicking off Guard destroyer Paulding, which is ers in Monongah, W. Va. 1777—Washington’s army arrives at 1774—Paul Revere rides to Ports- marine, goes into service. lums; lunatic and orphan, respectively. the Depression of 1837. hunting rum runners; 40 are lost. 1867—Differing track widths cause Valley Forge, Pa. mouth with news that the export of 1774—Local militiamen seize pow- 1814—The Federalists begin their 1773—“Sons of Liberty” disguised as 1862—Gen. Grant issues General a train to derail in Angola, N.Y. One 1776—Thomas Paine’sAmerican powder and arms to America have der and arms from Fort William and Hartford Convention; their secrecy, Mohawks dump 342 chests of tea into Order No. 11, barring “Jews and other wooden car drops 40 feet and catches Crisis is first published; “These are the been prohibited. Mary, near Portsmouth. sedition, and bad timing doom them. Boston Harbor. unprincipled traders” from his district. fire; 49 passengers burn to death. times that try men’s souls ….” 9:28 10:06 10:19 10:59 11:09 11:51 11:59 12:41 12:49 1:32 1:40 2:24 2:33

3:07 3:50 3:59 4:42 4:50 5:33 5:40 6:24 6:31 7:13 7:22 8:04 8:15 8:55

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