Entire Script to Awesome 1 and 2

By iloveanime

Submitted: March 25, 2008 Updated: January 17, 2010

Every thing written here and the series belongs to Arin "Egoraptor" Hanson. Here's the link if you want to watch it: MGA http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/297383 MGA2 http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/426712

Provided by Fanart Central. http://www.fanart-central.net/stories/user/iloveanime/51872/Entire-Script-to-Metal-Gear-Awesome-1-and -2

Chapter 1 - MGA 2 Chapter 2 - MGA2 8 1 - MGA

*Ring-Ring*

Snake: "Ugh, I hate this suit"

Colonel: "Hey, what's up Snake?"

Snake: "Ahh, can I take off this suit?"

Colonel: "Yeah what', but it's pretty frackin' cool..."

Mei Ling: "Hello !"

Snake: "Oh my god hottness, I wanna bang you!!!"

Mei Ling: "Oh, I can't believe I'm being hit on by the famous solid snake"

Snake: "Ok, shut up"

*Scene of Snake stripping....Holy shoot!*

Liquid Snake: "I'm going to get in to this Hind now"

*Ring-Ring*

Colonel: "Hey Snake, check it, go sneak that shoot"

Snake: "Okay"

Soldier: "Who's footprints are these?"

Egoraptor: What Tha frack! I didn't expect that!"

*Alarm*

Egoraptor: "frack!"

*GAME OVER*

Colonel: "Snake, yo Snake? SNNAAAAA...."

Egoraptor: "Shut tha frack up!!!" Colonel: "Sorry gee, I thought Snake was dead"

Snake: "Didn't even break a sweat"

*kills dog by sweating*

Snake: "shoot! I killed a dog by sweating."

*Ring-Ring*

Master Miller: "Hello Snake, it's been awhile. Do you remember me?"

Snake: "Liquid?"

Master Miller: "No this is McDonnell Miller, your old buddy"

Snake: "Who? Are you from Snakes Revenge?"

Master Miller: "No Snake, don't you remem...."

Snake: "Why is there a helicopter in the background?"

Master Miller: "It's my stomach, I'm hungry"

Snake: "Hungry for wooormms?"

Master Miller: "No, hungry for wooords"

*Both Laugh*

Snake: "Shut up!"

*Snake Likes Penis*

*Air Duct sequence!!Okay? Good"

*Ring-Ring*

Snake: "Shut up for Christ sake, I know how to climb a ladder, Jesus ow my ear!"

Jesus: "Sorry Bra"

*Jesus heals ear*

Snake: "Thanks Jesus"

Jesus: "It's cool" *Another Air duct sequence!!!!YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

*Sees bikini girl*

Snake: "Whoa, Awesome"

*Sees DARPA Chief*

Snake: "Hey, are you takin' a dump?"

DARPA Chief: "Heell Yeaah"

Snake: "So, tell me about Metal Gear"

DARPA Chief: "You knew!?" *Farts*

Snake: "The game is fracking called Metal Gear Solid!!!!!"

*Farts*

DARPA Chief: Yeah..*Farts*..Ah yeah..*Farts*..Yeah..*Farts*..mhm, Yeah..*Farts*..Mhm mh mmmh"

DARPA Chief: "Yeah well, they're makin' a new Metal Gear and stuff, and I talked. I gave them the password..*Farts*..Yeah..*Farts*..Ah Yeah"

DARPA Chief: "You know when you have diarrhea but it doesn't hurt when it comes out? It's so satisfyin' man"

Snake: "Gross"

*Shoots DARPA Chief*

*Ring*Ring*

Snake: "Yeah the DARPA Chief died of a heart attack, uh I don't know what happened. Metal Gear, whatever, Meryl's Hott"

Colonel: "She's ma niece"

Snake: "She's still hott asshole"

Meryl: "Get out you loser"

Snake: "Shut up hottness"

Snake: "The safety's on" *eats gun*

Snake: "You have rookie eyes"

Meryl: "They're transplants"

Snake: "Shut up dog"

*Ring*

Snake: "Stop fracking calling!"

Meryl: "Is that your...?"

Snake: "It's your uncle"

Meryl: "Oh, he's a fag"

*Alarm*

Snake: "Don't just stand there, shoot!"

Meryl: "You fracking ate my gun"

Snake: "Oh"

*throws exploding dead guy*

*BOOM dawg*

Snake: "We gotta go!"

Meryl: I'll go on ahead, look at my @$$"

Snake: "Ok"

*Remember this. This is important*

Snake: "Cool"

Psycho Mantis: "I'm going to be a boss"

Snake: "Am I hallucinating?"

Psycho Mantis: "You like meeeen" Snake: "You can see into my mind!?"

Psycho Mantis: "No"

Snake: "frack!"

*grenade explodes and a hole in the wall appears*

Soldier: "What was that noise?"

Ocelot: "This gun is the best gun ever"

Snake: "Oh?"

*Cyborg Ninja cuts his arm off*

Cyborg Ninja: "Cool, maybe this'll come in handy for a stupid plot device in the sequel."

Ocelot: "What the hell!? We didn't even fight yet"

*shoots ArmsTech President*

*Ring-Ring*

Snake: "Another heart attack, what the hell is going on?"

Colonel: "Ya bee, that looks like a bullet wound to me"

*shoots colonel*

Snake: "Now to find.....wait, what am I looking for?"

*Ring-Ring*

Snake: "Colonel, how do I contact Meryl?"

Snake: "....Oh, whoops"

*Ring-Ring*

*Mei Ling appears*

Snake: "Never mind, you're too hott"

*5 DAYS LATER*

Egoraptor: "Yeah I don't know what tha frack to do" Adam: "You have to look at the back of the CD case for Meryl's codec number"

Egoraptor: "Well how tha frack was I supposed to figure that out?"

Adam: "Colonel tells you"

Egoraptor: "Oh, whoops"

Adam: "What?"

Egoraptor: "I killed him"

*Alarm*

*Adam Shoots Egoraptor*

THE END 2 - MGA2

Egoraptor: "Ahh, Okay, soo: 1-4-0-point-1-5. Okay, cool."

Snake: "Hey ahh, Miss Woodchuck?"

Meryl: "Who the frack are you!?"

Snake: It's...... not important."

Meryl: "Holy shoot, you're Snake. Oh my gosh, you're so awesome. Yes. Oh man!!!"

Snake: "Some people call me that."

Meryl: *Removes Mask*

Snake: "Whoa, Jesus Christ, you're so fracking hott!!!"

Jesus Christ: "Thanks Bra"

Meryl: "So, what's up?"

Snake: "I need you to advance the plot"

Meryl: "Done annnd done"

Snake: "Thanks Baby"

Meryl: "Need anymore sexual tension?"

Snake: Naw, I'm good"

*Door Opens*

Snake: "Cool"

*Lasers slice Snake into a puddle*

Egoraptor: WHAT THA frack?! No one told me there were lasers there!!!"

*Ring-Ring*

Meryl: "Hey Snake, there are lasers there" Snake: "Gllubbberebgaauhgh"

*Uses Ration 1/2*

Snake: "Okay. I guess I'll use my cigarettes I hid in MY STOMACH!!!"

*Cigarettes have guts on top*

Snake: "AWESOME!!!"

*Lights Cig*

Snake: "*Cough-Cough* Oh God. Ahh, it's killing me. God I can't take these things. Oh God"

*Mines Blow Snake up*

Egoraptor: "WHAT THA frack?!! No one told me there were bombs there!!!!"

*Ring-Ring*

Meryl: "Hey Snake, there are bombs there"

Snake: "Aww, thanks dog."

Snake: "Ohh, gee wiz. I hope a doesn't totally come out of nowhere and own me."

*Boom-Boom*

Snake: "You know, seriously, I'm getting a little fracking pissed off!"

*Ring-Ring*

Meryl: "Hey Snake, a tank is totally gonna come out of nowhere and...... "

Snake: "SHUT UP!!!"

Raven: "Cryptic Metaphor!"

Snake: "Do you seriously think, this is fracking fair?"

Raven: "Just throw grenades at me"

Snake: "Oh"

*Boom*

Snake: "Awesome" Raven: "He he ha ha. I gave him more than a raven can hunt for in the night"

Ocelot: "What?"

Raven: "The snake prowls fiercely, but cannot scratch his back, because as the zoo people are aware of, snakes have no arms in which to scratch their back"

Ocelot: "Shaddup!"

Raven: "The raven on my head, thirsts for his blood"

Raven on Raven's Head: "Damn rite nigga. Mmmm Mmmmm"

*Ring*

Naomi: "Snake, you can't use weapons on that floor"

Snake: "Who tha frack are you?"

Naomi: "Actually, I just made it impossible for you to use weapons anyway."

Snake: "Wait a second. What, what, what!?"

Naomi: "That floor holds nukes, which are very..."

*Alarm*

Snake: "frack, I can't use my weapons!!! Ahh! Ughhuuughhhaaahhgguhhaa"

Naomi: "Uh, I guess that was kinda stupid."

Snake: "Ugh. Did somebody fart in here?"

*Ring-Ring*

Grey Fox: " Yo, yo, yo, B-boy Snake, Dawg, G"

Snake: "...What?"

Grey Fox: " Yeah, yeah. Aight, listen up. Launch a mutha' frackin' missile ta blat-blat, that power majigger, Dawg. Yeah mutha' fracka'"

Snake: "Gah, how does everyone know my phone number!? Gah"

Grey Fox: "Yeah, yeah. Aight. Just call me...... Deep Throat" Snake: "Gross"

*Snake fires an RPG*

Various guards: *groan, moan* "That's kinda nice...Ahh!!!"

Snake: "WHAT THA HELL!?"

Grey Fox: "Yeah, yeah. Follow me Snake"

Snake: Ya know, it doesn't exactly seem like the best idea"

Grey Fox: "Just do it mutha' fracka'"

Snake: "Fine, Jeez!"

Otacon: "Oh my God, I'm so scared. Naaahh *Begins to piss everywhere*"

Grey Fox: "Aw, shoot dawg. This is disgustin'. Aww, my God this is digustin' ta Hell"

Snake: "Hey guys, what's goin' on...oh gah, Jesus Christ. Ugh"

Jesus Christ: "Hey man, you called? Oh God, ooh God"

God: "Hey guys what's...Oh jeez. Oh there's piss everywhere. Gah why did I even invent piss? It's so gross. Uhhh"

Grey Fox: "Yo, stop pissin' dawg"

Otacon: "Okay"

Grey Fox: "So Snake, I see you've arrived."

Snake: "God, I have fracking piss all over me"

Grey Fox: "Snake, hurt me...a lot, please."

Snake: "...What?"

Grey Fox: "More Snake. Hurt me more dawg."

Snake: "Whoa. Holy shoot"

Grey Fox: "I'm so frackin' crazy. Whoa, gee Bluurbbaablurbablublublu *bangs head against floor* uh blurblubloobloo"

Snake: "...... GREY FOX!!!!!!!!" *Ring-Ring*

Snake: "Hey wha'ever your name is, 'Stupid dog' uh, I dunno. That was Grey Fox!!!"

Naomi: "Yeah I know. I forgot to tell you"

Snake: "Ya know, you're a dog"

Naomi: "He was an experiment"

Snake: "In what? S&M or something?"

Naomi: "Shaddup Snake, you're hurting my feelings inadvertently"

Snake: "Fine, go be fracking mysterious, see if I care."

*Snake rips locker up then eats it*

Snake: "Gah what did you fracking drink?!"

Otacon: "You're not one of them?"

Snake: "Dude seriously, you fracking pee'd like a million gallons of piss everywhere"

Otacon: "It's just like one of my Japanese anime's"

Snake: "Ooh, what tha frack you talking about?!! I'm talking about piss and shoot, and you're all talking about some stupid Japanese show I don't give a frack about!!!"

Otacon: *Cries*

Snake: "Ya know, I didn't mean it like that, look, Metal Gear's a nuc launching thing, And I like, need you to become an elusive character from now on, okay?"

Otacon: "Metal Gear launches nukes? No.....it can't be"

Snake: "You mean you didn't know?!"

Otacon: "Look, I'm about to say a lot of shoot and explain like a million things that don't make any since, so you might as well like, skip this part or something"

Egoraptor: "Oh, okay. At least you had the decency to tell me. frackin' bombs."

*Skips*

Otacon: "Are you coming on to me?!!!" Snake: "Grrr, Oh, What why tha frack you stop on this part!!?"

Egoraptor: "Oh, sorry"

*Skips*

Otacon: "Remember when Meryl, totally wiggled her @$$ right in your face?"

Snake: "Oh, yeah, I remember that. That was important? I had no idea, I was just lookin' at her @$$"

Otacon: "Well yeah, it was important dumb @$$"

Snake: SHADDUP!!!"

*Shoots Otacon*

Otacon: "frack, you just shot me in the leg"

Snake: "So?"

Otacon: "Oh ho, God, ahh unhah ooh"

Snake: "Okay. So anyway, time to find Meryl"

*Hop, Skip, and JUMP later!*

Snake: "Okay, time to look at people's asses for awhile."

*Nasty groddy @$$ appears*

Snake: "Ughh. This used to be a lot cooler without the whole 'Not Meryl's @$$' thing"

*Alarm*

Snake: "Dammit"

*Snake goes to a ladies restroom*

Snake:"Whoa, awesome! Holy shoot!!"

Meryl: "Snake, I, really need someone to talk to and..."

Snake: "Shut Up, unless it's your @$$ talking"

Meryl: "Snake, please, it's really important" Snake: "What? I can't hear you, too busy looking at your @$$. Plus, your nipples are bleeding through your tank top"

Meryl: *Pull pants up*

Snake: "Oh. Okay, lets go"

Meryl: "Snake, when I was a little girl I..."

*Snake punches Meryl in the face*

Snake: "Amazing, lets go!"

*And so they go...... *

Meryl: "Snake, make love to me Snake. I want you, forever."

Snake: "Dude"

Psycho Mantis: "You're supposed to hit her"

Snake: "Damn right I'm gonna hit that"

Psycho Mantis: "God dammit *knocks Meryl out*"

Snake: "Aw, what tha frack? Asshole"

Psycho Mantis: "So, you like to pluck at tha ranga?"

Egoraptor: "Whoa, what? Whoa, gee, What?!!"

Psycho Mantis: "Lets fight Snake"

Snake: "Um, Okay"

*metal_gear_awesome_2.gwf has preformed an illegal operation and will now shut down*

Egoraptor: "...... ?"

Psycho Mantis: Muh ha ha ha"

Egoraptor: "Oh gee what, naahh"

Psycho Mantis: "Ownownownownownown Own!"

Snake:"Aw my God, I can't do anything. He can read my mind" *5 days Later...*

Egoraptor: "Yeah, I don't know what the frack to do"

Adam: "Dude, you gotta plug the controller into the second controller port"

Egoraptor: "Oh. Well, how tha frack was I supposed to figure that out?!"

Adam: "Colonel tells you"

Egoraptor: "Gah, ya know, that's really cool and all but like, seriously, what the hell?"

Adam: "Yeeaah, I know what you mean"

Egoraptor: "Oh well whatever"

Adam: "Hey guess what?"

Egoraptor: "What?"

*Alarm. Adam comes through phone and shoots Egoraptors head off*

The End

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