Entire Script to Metal Gear Awesome 1 and 2
By iloveanime
Submitted: March 25, 2008 Updated: January 17, 2010
Every thing written here and the series belongs to Arin "Egoraptor" Hanson. Here's the link if you want to watch it: MGA http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/297383 MGA2 http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/426712
Provided by Fanart Central. http://www.fanart-central.net/stories/user/iloveanime/51872/Entire-Script-to-Metal-Gear-Awesome-1-and -2
Chapter 1 - MGA 2 Chapter 2 - MGA2 8 1 - MGA
*Ring-Ring*
Snake: "Ugh, I hate this suit"
Colonel: "Hey, what's up Snake?"
Snake: "Ahh, can I take off this suit?"
Colonel: "Yeah what'eva, but it's pretty frackin' cool..."
Mei Ling: "Hello Solid Snake!"
Snake: "Oh my god hottness, I wanna bang you!!!"
Mei Ling: "Oh, I can't believe I'm being hit on by the famous solid snake"
Snake: "Ok, shut up"
*Scene of Snake stripping....Holy shoot!*
Liquid Snake: "I'm going to get in to this Hind now"
*Ring-Ring*
Colonel: "Hey Snake, check it, go sneak that shoot"
Snake: "Okay"
Soldier: "Who's footprints are these?"
Egoraptor: What Tha frack! I didn't expect that!"
*Alarm*
Egoraptor: "frack!"
*GAME OVER*
Colonel: "Snake, yo Snake? SNNAAAAA...."
Egoraptor: "Shut tha frack up!!!" Colonel: "Sorry gee, I thought Snake was dead"
Snake: "Didn't even break a sweat"
*kills dog by sweating*
Snake: "shoot! I killed a dog by sweating."
*Ring-Ring*
Master Miller: "Hello Snake, it's been awhile. Do you remember me?"
Snake: "Liquid?"
Master Miller: "No this is McDonnell Miller, your old buddy"
Snake: "Who? Are you from Snakes Revenge?"
Master Miller: "No Snake, don't you remem...."
Snake: "Why is there a helicopter in the background?"
Master Miller: "It's my stomach, I'm hungry"
Snake: "Hungry for wooormms?"
Master Miller: "No, hungry for wooords"
*Both Laugh*
Snake: "Shut up!"
*Snake Likes Penis*
*Air Duct sequence!!Okay? Good"
*Ring-Ring*
Snake: "Shut up for Christ sake, I know how to climb a ladder, Jesus ow my ear!"
Jesus: "Sorry Bra"
*Jesus heals ear*
Snake: "Thanks Jesus"
Jesus: "It's cool" *Another Air duct sequence!!!!YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
*Sees bikini girl*
Snake: "Whoa, Awesome"
*Sees DARPA Chief*
Snake: "Hey, are you takin' a dump?"
DARPA Chief: "Heell Yeaah"
Snake: "So, tell me about Metal Gear"
DARPA Chief: "You knew!?" *Farts*
Snake: "The game is fracking called Metal Gear Solid!!!!!"
*Farts*
DARPA Chief: Yeah..*Farts*..Ah yeah..*Farts*..Yeah..*Farts*..mhm, Yeah..*Farts*..Mhm mh mmmh"
DARPA Chief: "Yeah well, they're makin' a new Metal Gear and stuff, and I talked. I gave them the password..*Farts*..Yeah..*Farts*..Ah Yeah"
DARPA Chief: "You know when you have diarrhea but it doesn't hurt when it comes out? It's so satisfyin' man"
Snake: "Gross"
*Shoots DARPA Chief*
*Ring*Ring*
Snake: "Yeah the DARPA Chief died of a heart attack, uh I don't know what happened. Metal Gear, whatever, Meryl's Hott"
Colonel: "She's ma niece"
Snake: "She's still hott asshole"
Meryl: "Get out you loser"
Snake: "Shut up hottness"
Snake: "The safety's on" *eats gun*
Snake: "You have rookie eyes"
Meryl: "They're transplants"
Snake: "Shut up dog"
*Ring*
Snake: "Stop fracking calling!"
Meryl: "Is that your...?"
Snake: "It's your uncle"
Meryl: "Oh, he's a fag"
*Alarm*
Snake: "Don't just stand there, shoot!"
Meryl: "You fracking ate my gun"
Snake: "Oh"
*throws exploding dead guy*
*BOOM dawg*
Snake: "We gotta go!"
Meryl: I'll go on ahead, look at my @$$"
Snake: "Ok"
*Remember this. This is important*
Snake: "Cool"
Psycho Mantis: "I'm going to be a boss"
Snake: "Am I hallucinating?"
Psycho Mantis: "You like meeeen" Snake: "You can see into my mind!?"
Psycho Mantis: "No"
Snake: "frack!"
*grenade explodes and a hole in the wall appears*
Soldier: "What was that noise?"
Ocelot: "This gun is the best gun ever"
Snake: "Oh?"
*Cyborg Ninja cuts his arm off*
Cyborg Ninja: "Cool, maybe this'll come in handy for a stupid plot device in the sequel."
Ocelot: "What the hell!? We didn't even fight yet"
*shoots ArmsTech President*
*Ring-Ring*
Snake: "Another heart attack, what the hell is going on?"
Colonel: "Ya bee, that looks like a bullet wound to me"
*shoots colonel*
Snake: "Now to find.....wait, what am I looking for?"
*Ring-Ring*
Snake: "Colonel, how do I contact Meryl?"
Snake: "....Oh, whoops"
*Ring-Ring*
*Mei Ling appears*
Snake: "Never mind, you're too hott"
*5 DAYS LATER*
Egoraptor: "Yeah I don't know what tha frack to do" Adam: "You have to look at the back of the CD case for Meryl's codec number"
Egoraptor: "Well how tha frack was I supposed to figure that out?"
Adam: "Colonel tells you"
Egoraptor: "Oh, whoops"
Adam: "What?"
Egoraptor: "I killed him"
*Alarm*
*Adam Shoots Egoraptor*
THE END 2 - MGA2
Egoraptor: "Ahh, Okay, soo: 1-4-0-point-1-5. Okay, cool."
Snake: "Hey ahh, Miss Woodchuck?"
Meryl: "Who the frack are you!?"
Snake: It's...... not important."
Meryl: "Holy shoot, you're Snake. Oh my gosh, you're so awesome. Yes. Oh man!!!"
Snake: "Some people call me that."
Meryl: *Removes Mask*
Snake: "Whoa, Jesus Christ, you're so fracking hott!!!"
Jesus Christ: "Thanks Bra"
Meryl: "So, what's up?"
Snake: "I need you to advance the plot"
Meryl: "Done annnd done"
Snake: "Thanks Baby"
Meryl: "Need anymore sexual tension?"
Snake: Naw, I'm good"
*Door Opens*
Snake: "Cool"
*Lasers slice Snake into a puddle*
Egoraptor: WHAT THA frack?! No one told me there were lasers there!!!"
*Ring-Ring*
Meryl: "Hey Snake, there are lasers there" Snake: "Gllubbberebgaauhgh"
*Uses Ration 1/2*
Snake: "Okay. I guess I'll use my cigarettes I hid in MY STOMACH!!!"
*Cigarettes have guts on top*
Snake: "AWESOME!!!"
*Lights Cig*
Snake: "*Cough-Cough* Oh God. Ahh, it's killing me. God I can't take these things. Oh God"
*Mines Blow Snake up*
Egoraptor: "WHAT THA frack?!! No one told me there were bombs there!!!!"
*Ring-Ring*
Meryl: "Hey Snake, there are bombs there"
Snake: "Aww, thanks dog."
Snake: "Ohh, gee wiz. I hope a tank doesn't totally come out of nowhere and own me."
*Boom-Boom*
Snake: "You know, seriously, I'm getting a little fracking pissed off!"
*Ring-Ring*
Meryl: "Hey Snake, a tank is totally gonna come out of nowhere and...... "
Snake: "SHUT UP!!!"
Raven: "Cryptic Metaphor!"
Snake: "Do you seriously think, this is fracking fair?"
Raven: "Just throw grenades at me"
Snake: "Oh"
*Boom*
Snake: "Awesome" Raven: "He he ha ha. I gave him more than a raven can hunt for in the night"
Ocelot: "What?"
Raven: "The snake prowls fiercely, but cannot scratch his back, because as the zoo people are aware of, snakes have no arms in which to scratch their back"
Ocelot: "Shaddup!"
Raven: "The raven on my head, thirsts for his blood"
Raven on Raven's Head: "Damn rite nigga. Mmmm Mmmmm"
*Ring*
Naomi: "Snake, you can't use weapons on that floor"
Snake: "Who tha frack are you?"
Naomi: "Actually, I just made it impossible for you to use weapons anyway."
Snake: "Wait a second. What, what, what!?"
Naomi: "That floor holds nukes, which are very..."
*Alarm*
Snake: "frack, I can't use my weapons!!! Ahh! Ughhuuughhhaaahhgguhhaa"
Naomi: "Uh, I guess that was kinda stupid."
Snake: "Ugh. Did somebody fart in here?"
*Ring-Ring*
Grey Fox: " Yo, yo, yo, B-boy Snake, Dawg, G"
Snake: "...What?"
Grey Fox: " Yeah, yeah. Aight, listen up. Launch a mutha' frackin' missile ta blat-blat, that power majigger, Dawg. Yeah mutha' fracka'"
Snake: "Gah, how does everyone know my phone number!? Gah"
Grey Fox: "Yeah, yeah. Aight. Just call me...... Deep Throat" Snake: "Gross"
*Snake fires an RPG*
Various guards: *groan, moan* "That's kinda nice...Ahh!!!"
Snake: "WHAT THA HELL!?"
Grey Fox: "Yeah, yeah. Follow me Snake"
Snake: Ya know, it doesn't exactly seem like the best idea"
Grey Fox: "Just do it mutha' fracka'"
Snake: "Fine, Jeez!"
Otacon: "Oh my God, I'm so scared. Naaahh *Begins to piss everywhere*"
Grey Fox: "Aw, shoot dawg. This is disgustin'. Aww, my God this is digustin' ta Hell"
Snake: "Hey guys, what's goin' on...oh gah, Jesus Christ. Ugh"
Jesus Christ: "Hey man, you called? Oh God, ooh God"
God: "Hey guys what's...Oh jeez. Oh there's piss everywhere. Gah why did I even invent piss? It's so gross. Uhhh"
Grey Fox: "Yo, stop pissin' dawg"
Otacon: "Okay"
Grey Fox: "So Snake, I see you've arrived."
Snake: "God, I have fracking piss all over me"
Grey Fox: "Snake, hurt me...a lot, please."
Snake: "...What?"
Grey Fox: "More Snake. Hurt me more dawg."
Snake: "Whoa. Holy shoot"
Grey Fox: "I'm so frackin' crazy. Whoa, gee Bluurbbaablurbablublublu *bangs head against floor* uh blurblubloobloo"
Snake: "...... GREY FOX!!!!!!!!" *Ring-Ring*
Snake: "Hey wha'ever your name is, 'Stupid dog' uh, I dunno. That was Grey Fox!!!"
Naomi: "Yeah I know. I forgot to tell you"
Snake: "Ya know, you're a dog"
Naomi: "He was an experiment"
Snake: "In what? S&M or something?"
Naomi: "Shaddup Snake, you're hurting my feelings inadvertently"
Snake: "Fine, go be fracking mysterious, see if I care."
*Snake rips locker up then eats it*
Snake: "Gah what did you fracking drink?!"
Otacon: "You're not one of them?"
Snake: "Dude seriously, you fracking pee'd like a million gallons of piss everywhere"
Otacon: "It's just like one of my Japanese anime's"
Snake: "Ooh, what tha frack you talking about?!! I'm talking about piss and shoot, and you're all talking about some stupid Japanese show I don't give a frack about!!!"
Otacon: *Cries*
Snake: "Ya know, I didn't mean it like that, look, Metal Gear's a nuc launching thing, And I like, need you to become an elusive character from now on, okay?"
Otacon: "Metal Gear launches nukes? No.....it can't be"
Snake: "You mean you didn't know?!"
Otacon: "Look, I'm about to say a lot of shoot and explain like a million things that don't make any since, so you might as well like, skip this part or something"
Egoraptor: "Oh, okay. At least you had the decency to tell me. frackin' bombs."
*Skips*
Otacon: "Are you coming on to me?!!!" Snake: "Grrr, Oh, What why tha frack you stop on this part!!?"
Egoraptor: "Oh, sorry"
*Skips*
Otacon: "Remember when Meryl, totally wiggled her @$$ right in your face?"
Snake: "Oh, yeah, I remember that. That was important? I had no idea, I was just lookin' at her @$$"
Otacon: "Well yeah, it was important dumb @$$"
Snake: SHADDUP!!!"
*Shoots Otacon*
Otacon: "frack, you just shot me in the leg"
Snake: "So?"
Otacon: "Oh ho, God, ahh unhah ooh"
Snake: "Okay. So anyway, time to find Meryl"
*Hop, Skip, and JUMP later!*
Snake: "Okay, time to look at people's asses for awhile."
*Nasty groddy @$$ appears*
Snake: "Ughh. This used to be a lot cooler without the whole 'Not Meryl's @$$' thing"
*Alarm*
Snake: "Dammit"
*Snake goes to a ladies restroom*
Snake:"Whoa, awesome! Holy shoot!!"
Meryl: "Snake, I, really need someone to talk to and..."
Snake: "Shut Up, unless it's your @$$ talking"
Meryl: "Snake, please, it's really important" Snake: "What? I can't hear you, too busy looking at your @$$. Plus, your nipples are bleeding through your tank top"
Meryl: *Pull pants up*
Snake: "Oh. Okay, lets go"
Meryl: "Snake, when I was a little girl I..."
*Snake punches Meryl in the face*
Snake: "Amazing, lets go!"
*And so they go...... *
Meryl: "Snake, make love to me Snake. I want you, forever."
Snake: "Dude"
Psycho Mantis: "You're supposed to hit her"
Snake: "Damn right I'm gonna hit that"
Psycho Mantis: "God dammit *knocks Meryl out*"
Snake: "Aw, what tha frack? Asshole"
Psycho Mantis: "So, you like to pluck at tha ranga?"
Egoraptor: "Whoa, what? Whoa, gee, What?!!"
Psycho Mantis: "Lets fight Snake"
Snake: "Um, Okay"
*metal_gear_awesome_2.gwf has preformed an illegal operation and will now shut down*
Egoraptor: "...... ?"
Psycho Mantis: Muh ha ha ha"
Egoraptor: "Oh gee what, naahh"
Psycho Mantis: "Ownownownownownown Own!"
Snake:"Aw my God, I can't do anything. He can read my mind" *5 days Later...*
Egoraptor: "Yeah, I don't know what the frack to do"
Adam: "Dude, you gotta plug the controller into the second controller port"
Egoraptor: "Oh. Well, how tha frack was I supposed to figure that out?!"
Adam: "Colonel tells you"
Egoraptor: "Gah, ya know, that's really cool and all but like, seriously, what the hell?"
Adam: "Yeeaah, I know what you mean"
Egoraptor: "Oh well whatever"
Adam: "Hey guess what?"
Egoraptor: "What?"
*Alarm. Adam comes through phone and shoots Egoraptors head off*
The End
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