Entire Script to Metal Gear Awesome 1 and 2 By iloveanime Submitted: March 25, 2008 Updated: January 17, 2010 Every thing written here and the series belongs to Arin "Egoraptor" Hanson. Here's the link if you want to watch it: MGA http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/297383 MGA2 http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/426712 Provided by Fanart Central. http://www.fanart-central.net/stories/user/iloveanime/51872/Entire-Script-to-Metal-Gear-Awesome-1-and -2 Chapter 1 - MGA 2 Chapter 2 - MGA2 8 1 - MGA *Ring-Ring* Snake: "Ugh, I hate this suit" Colonel: "Hey, what's up Snake?" Snake: "Ahh, can I take off this suit?" Colonel: "Yeah what'eva, but it's pretty frackin' cool..." Mei Ling: "Hello Solid Snake!" Snake: "Oh my god hottness, I wanna bang you!!!" Mei Ling: "Oh, I can't believe I'm being hit on by the famous solid snake" Snake: "Ok, shut up" *Scene of Snake stripping....Holy shoot!* Liquid Snake: "I'm going to get in to this Hind now" *Ring-Ring* Colonel: "Hey Snake, check it, go sneak that shoot" Snake: "Okay" Soldier: "Who's footprints are these?" Egoraptor: What Tha frack! I didn't expect that!" *Alarm* Egoraptor: "frack!" *GAME OVER* Colonel: "Snake, yo Snake? SNNAAAAA...." Egoraptor: "Shut tha frack up!!!" Colonel: "Sorry gee, I thought Snake was dead" Snake: "Didn't even break a sweat" *kills dog by sweating* Snake: "shoot! I killed a dog by sweating." *Ring-Ring* Master Miller: "Hello Snake, it's been awhile. Do you remember me?" Snake: "Liquid?" Master Miller: "No this is McDonnell Miller, your old buddy" Snake: "Who? Are you from Snakes Revenge?" Master Miller: "No Snake, don't you remem...." Snake: "Why is there a helicopter in the background?" Master Miller: "It's my stomach, I'm hungry" Snake: "Hungry for wooormms?" Master Miller: "No, hungry for wooords" *Both Laugh* Snake: "Shut up!" *Snake Likes Penis* *Air Duct sequence!!Okay? Good" *Ring-Ring* Snake: "Shut up for Christ sake, I know how to climb a ladder, Jesus ow my ear!" Jesus: "Sorry Bra" *Jesus heals ear* Snake: "Thanks Jesus" Jesus: "It's cool" *Another Air duct sequence!!!!YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* *Sees bikini girl* Snake: "Whoa, Awesome" *Sees DARPA Chief* Snake: "Hey, are you takin' a dump?" DARPA Chief: "Heell Yeaah" Snake: "So, tell me about Metal Gear" DARPA Chief: "You knew!?" *Farts* Snake: "The game is fracking called Metal Gear Solid!!!!!" *Farts* DARPA Chief: Yeah..*Farts*..Ah yeah..*Farts*..Yeah..*Farts*..mhm, Yeah..*Farts*..Mhm mh mmmh" DARPA Chief: "Yeah well, they're makin' a new Metal Gear and stuff, and I talked. I gave them the password..*Farts*..Yeah..*Farts*..Ah Yeah" DARPA Chief: "You know when you have diarrhea but it doesn't hurt when it comes out? It's so satisfyin' man" Snake: "Gross" *Shoots DARPA Chief* *Ring*Ring* Snake: "Yeah the DARPA Chief died of a heart attack, uh I don't know what happened. Metal Gear, whatever, Meryl's Hott" Colonel: "She's ma niece" Snake: "She's still hott asshole" Meryl: "Get out you loser" Snake: "Shut up hottness" Snake: "The safety's on" *eats gun* Snake: "You have rookie eyes" Meryl: "They're transplants" Snake: "Shut up dog" *Ring* Snake: "Stop fracking calling!" Meryl: "Is that your...?" Snake: "It's your uncle" Meryl: "Oh, he's a fag" *Alarm* Snake: "Don't just stand there, shoot!" Meryl: "You fracking ate my gun" Snake: "Oh" *throws exploding dead guy* *BOOM dawg* Snake: "We gotta go!" Meryl: I'll go on ahead, look at my @$$" Snake: "Ok" *Remember this. This is important* Snake: "Cool" Psycho Mantis: "I'm going to be a boss" Snake: "Am I hallucinating?" Psycho Mantis: "You like meeeen" Snake: "You can see into my mind!?" Psycho Mantis: "No" Snake: "frack!" *grenade explodes and a hole in the wall appears* Soldier: "What was that noise?" Ocelot: "This gun is the best gun ever" Snake: "Oh?" *Cyborg Ninja cuts his arm off* Cyborg Ninja: "Cool, maybe this'll come in handy for a stupid plot device in the sequel." Ocelot: "What the hell!? We didn't even fight yet" *shoots ArmsTech President* *Ring-Ring* Snake: "Another heart attack, what the hell is going on?" Colonel: "Ya bee, that looks like a bullet wound to me" *shoots colonel* Snake: "Now to find.....wait, what am I looking for?" *Ring-Ring* Snake: "Colonel, how do I contact Meryl?" Snake: "....Oh, whoops" *Ring-Ring* *Mei Ling appears* Snake: "Never mind, you're too hott" *5 DAYS LATER* Egoraptor: "Yeah I don't know what tha frack to do" Adam: "You have to look at the back of the CD case for Meryl's codec number" Egoraptor: "Well how tha frack was I supposed to figure that out?" Adam: "Colonel tells you" Egoraptor: "Oh, whoops" Adam: "What?" Egoraptor: "I killed him" *Alarm* *Adam Shoots Egoraptor* THE END 2 - MGA2 Egoraptor: "Ahh, Okay, soo: 1-4-0-point-1-5. Okay, cool." Snake: "Hey ahh, Miss Woodchuck?" Meryl: "Who the frack are you!?" Snake: It's...................not important." Meryl: "Holy shoot, you're Snake. Oh my gosh, you're so awesome. Yes. Oh man!!!" Snake: "Some people call me that." Meryl: *Removes Mask* Snake: "Whoa, Jesus Christ, you're so fracking hott!!!" Jesus Christ: "Thanks Bra" Meryl: "So, what's up?" Snake: "I need you to advance the plot" Meryl: "Done annnd done" Snake: "Thanks Baby" Meryl: "Need anymore sexual tension?" Snake: Naw, I'm good" *Door Opens* Snake: "Cool" *Lasers slice Snake into a puddle* Egoraptor: WHAT THA frack?! No one told me there were lasers there!!!" *Ring-Ring* Meryl: "Hey Snake, there are lasers there" Snake: "Gllubbberebgaauhgh" *Uses Ration 1/2* Snake: "Okay. I guess I'll use my cigarettes I hid in MY STOMACH!!!" *Cigarettes have guts on top* Snake: "AWESOME!!!" *Lights Cig* Snake: "*Cough-Cough* Oh God. Ahh, it's killing me. God I can't take these things. Oh God" *Mines Blow Snake up* Egoraptor: "WHAT THA frack?!! No one told me there were bombs there!!!!" *Ring-Ring* Meryl: "Hey Snake, there are bombs there" Snake: "Aww, thanks dog." Snake: "Ohh, gee wiz. I hope a tank doesn't totally come out of nowhere and own me." *Boom-Boom* Snake: "You know, seriously, I'm getting a little fracking pissed off!" *Ring-Ring* Meryl: "Hey Snake, a tank is totally gonna come out of nowhere and......" Snake: "SHUT UP!!!" Raven: "Cryptic Metaphor!" Snake: "Do you seriously think, this is fracking fair?" Raven: "Just throw grenades at me" Snake: "Oh" *Boom* Snake: "Awesome" Raven: "He he ha ha. I gave him more than a raven can hunt for in the night" Ocelot: "What?" Raven: "The snake prowls fiercely, but cannot scratch his back, because as the zoo people are aware of, snakes have no arms in which to scratch their back" Ocelot: "Shaddup!" Raven: "The raven on my head, thirsts for his blood" Raven on Raven's Head: "Damn rite nigga. Mmmm Mmmmm" *Ring* Naomi: "Snake, you can't use weapons on that floor" Snake: "Who tha frack are you?" Naomi: "Actually, I just made it impossible for you to use weapons anyway." Snake: "Wait a second. What, what, what!?" Naomi: "That floor holds nukes, which are very..." *Alarm* Snake: "frack, I can't use my weapons!!! Ahh! Ughhuuughhhaaahhgguhhaa" Naomi: "Uh, I guess that was kinda stupid." Snake: "Ugh. Did somebody fart in here?" *Ring-Ring* Grey Fox: " Yo, yo, yo, B-boy Snake, Dawg, G" Snake: "...What?" Grey Fox: " Yeah, yeah. Aight, listen up. Launch a mutha' frackin' missile ta blat-blat, that power majigger, Dawg. Yeah mutha' fracka'" Snake: "Gah, how does everyone know my phone number!? Gah" Grey Fox: "Yeah, yeah. Aight. Just call me.........Deep Throat" Snake: "Gross" *Snake fires an RPG* Various guards: *groan, moan* "That's kinda nice...Ahh!!!" Snake: "WHAT THA HELL!?" Grey Fox: "Yeah, yeah. Follow me Snake" Snake: Ya know, it doesn't exactly seem like the best idea" Grey Fox: "Just do it mutha' fracka'" Snake: "Fine, Jeez!" Otacon: "Oh my God, I'm so scared. Naaahh *Begins to piss everywhere*" Grey Fox: "Aw, shoot dawg. This is disgustin'. Aww, my God this is digustin' ta Hell" Snake: "Hey guys, what's goin' on...oh gah, Jesus Christ. Ugh" Jesus Christ: "Hey man, you called? Oh God, ooh God" God: "Hey guys what's...Oh jeez. Oh there's piss everywhere. Gah why did I even invent piss? It's so gross. Uhhh" Grey Fox: "Yo, stop pissin' dawg" Otacon: "Okay" Grey Fox: "So Snake, I see you've arrived." Snake: "God, I have fracking piss all over me" Grey Fox: "Snake, hurt me...a lot, please." Snake: "...What?" Grey Fox: "More Snake. Hurt me more dawg." Snake: "Whoa. Holy shoot" Grey Fox: "I'm so frackin' crazy. Whoa, gee Bluurbbaablurbablublublu *bangs head against floor* uh blurblubloobloo" Snake: "...........GREY FOX!!!!!!!!" *Ring-Ring* Snake: "Hey wha'ever your name is, 'Stupid dog' uh, I dunno. That was Grey Fox!!!" Naomi: "Yeah I know. I forgot to tell you" Snake: "Ya know, you're a dog" Naomi: "He was an experiment" Snake: "In what? S&M or something?" Naomi: "Shaddup Snake, you're hurting my feelings inadvertently" Snake: "Fine, go be fracking mysterious, see if I care." *Snake rips locker up then eats it* Snake: "Gah what did you fracking drink?!" Otacon: "You're not one of them?" Snake: "Dude seriously, you fracking pee'd like a million gallons of piss everywhere" Otacon: "It's just like one of my Japanese anime's" Snake: "Ooh, what tha frack you talking about?!! I'm talking about piss and shoot, and you're all talking about some stupid Japanese show I don't give a frack about!!!" Otacon: *Cries* Snake: "Ya know, I didn't mean it like that, look, Metal Gear's a nuc launching thing, And I like, need you to become an elusive character from now on, okay?" Otacon: "Metal Gear launches nukes? No.....it can't be" Snake: "You mean you didn't know?!" Otacon: "Look, I'm about to say a lot of shoot and explain like a million things that don't make any since, so you might as well like, skip this part or something" Egoraptor: "Oh, okay.