The Cord Weekly

THE CORD WEEKLY

Volume 30, Number 9 Thursday October 26, 1989 Wilfrid Laurier University

The PHANTOM of the ATRIUM?

INSIDE

Bill Needle rants page 4 The GST and Students page 7 Phantom of the Opera page 13 Hallowe'en and Innu Features ....page 20-21 Rugby wins division crown page 23 The Cord Weekly 2 Thursday October 26,1989 news ad and stuff- CORD WEEKLY WE'RE WATCHING

OCTOBER 26, 1989 VOLUME 30, NUMBER 9

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF...Chris Starkey

* * * NEWS EDlTOR...Jonathan Stover ASSOCIATE NEWS EDlTOR...Caroline Baskerville

NEWS CONTRIBUTORS Bill Needle, Mike v. Bodegom, Tim Sullivan, Bryan C. Leblanc, Steve Burke

* * * COMMENT PAGES CONTRIBUTORS J J?. Artinger, Steve Guistizia, Mark Gordon, Samuel Kuhn, Ann Lazarevic, Angle Karl, and especially Jana Watson

* * * FEATURES EDlTOR...Elizabeth Chen

FEATURES CONTRIBUTORS Gord Hocking, Mark Bruzsowski

* * * "SCENE" EDITOR...Tony Burke

"SCENE" CONTRIBUTORS Jonathan Stover, Steve Burke, Neville Blair, Eric Jemetz, Liza Sardi, Got a passport. Couple of visas. Don't even know my real name. Sarah Welstead, Tom Sziebel, Donna Goudreau You've got an ass like I never seen. And the ride is so smooth, you

* * * must be a limousine. SPORTS EDITOR...Brian Owen And written history is a catalogue of crime. The sordid and the

powerful -- the architects of time. SPORTS CONTRIBUTORS Goodbye. News. That's an, folks! Janet Forbes, JeffDragich, Chris Starkey, Stefan Latour, Nahnahnahnahnahnahnahnah Hey hey Rob Brown, Mike Booker, Alexander Patinios

* * * PRODUCTION MANAGER...Jana Watson PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS Karen Burke, Andrea Nasello, Christine Yarwood

* * *

SYSTEMS TECHNICIAN...vacant COPY EDITORS Keri Downs, Robin Sutherland CIRCULATION AND FILING MANAGER...Roxanne Chartrand

* * * PHOTO MANAGER...Liza Sardi PHOTO TECHNICIAN...Patrick John Mitchell GRAPHIC ARTS...Tom Sziebel PHOTO CONTRIBUTORS Unlock the right doors. Torn Sziebel, Chris Starkey, Eric Jemetz, Liza Sardi, Angie Karl, Ann Lazarevic, Patrick Mitchell Becoming a Chartered Accountant is like getting a master

* * * key to modern business life. Few other professional qualifications ADVERTISING MANAGER...Frank Reilly ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES open as many doors and keep them open throughout your career. Shawna Rossi, Rose Belvedere, Marlie Yoshiki, Martin Walker, Kelly Wilkinson, Eric Gregory CAs are respected throughout Canada and around the business world CLASSIFIEDS CO-ORDINATOR...Anoushka Boteju AD PRODUCTION MANAGER...Brad Jandrew as individuals who define the standards of professional excellence. AD PRODUCTION ASSISTANT...Tanya Reitzel That's why CAs have outstanding careers in almost every walk NATIONAL ADVERTISING Campus Plus of in and in and (416)481-7283 life, commerce finance, manufacturing industry, in both the public and private sectors. BOARD OF PUBLICATIONS PRESIDENT...Mark Hand Whatever your background, whatever you're studying, consider DIRECTORS Bill Casey, Frances McAneney, Annie Quong, Al Strathdee, a career as a Chartered Accountant. Jonathan Stover, Neville Blair, Tony Burke Make a key decision for the rest of your life.

The Cord Weekly welcomes all comments, criticisms and suggestions from its readers. Let- Call or write for more information today. ters to the Editor must be typed, double spaced and submitted by Tuesday at 12:00noon for the following publication. All letters must bear the author's full name, telephone and student number, but names may be withheld upon request. Letters must not exceed 400 words in length and are edited for length only. The Cord Weekly reserves the right to refuse any submission, and all submissions /v THE INSTITUTE OF become the property of The Cord Weekly. <—<> ACCOUNTANTS Eight month, 24-issue Cord Weekly subscription rates are: $20.00 for addresses within Cana- 1 CHARTERED \ OF ONTARIO da and $25.00 outside the country. Co-op students may subscribe at the rate of $10.00 per four J month work term. \ y Defining the Standards of Professional Excellence The Cord Weekly offices are located on the 2nd Floor of the Procyk Clinic for Reefer Mad- ness at Wilfrid Laurier University (tel. 884-2990). The Cord Weekly is printed at Ricter Web Press 69 Bloor Street East, Toronto, Ontario M4W 1B3 in beautiful Biantford, Ontario, home of musicians Scott Mcrritt and Tony Burke. \ — Telephone (416) 962-1841 - Toronto area The Cord Weekly is published weekly during the fall and winter academic terms. Editorial J

- opinions are approved by the editorial board and are independent of the University, the Student \ y (Toll Free) 1-800-387-0735 Outside Toronto \/ Union, and Student Publications. The Cord Weekly is a somewhat dishevelled and active member Telefax (416) 962-8900 of the Canadian University Press. Copyright © 1989 by WLU Student Publications, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the permission of the Editor-in-Chief. The Cord Weekly 3 Thursday October 26,1989

"9\[g man is justified in doing eviC on tfie ground of e?cpediency.' -- (Theodore ${ooseveCt

Jonathan fMicfaeCStover, 9{szvs Editor The NEWS Carodne HaskgnnCk, Associate 'Editor The Atrium publishes, what happens now?

STEVE BURKE Cord Weekly The Atrium published its first newspaper issue on October 24. It may also have been its last. Rumours began circulating a month ago that The Atrium - formerly the School of Business and Economics newsletter — intended to expand to a newspaper format complete with advertising. However, Student Publications had been given exclusive rights to solicit advertising as a representative of WLU (See Accompanying Story). When made aware of the rumours, WLUSU President A 1 Strath- dee contacted Tamiae President Anna Jakubowski. At that time ~ nearly four weeks ago - Tamiae was going to be the 'new' Atrium's publisher, a situation which later changed. "I just wanted to know what the hell was going on," Strathdee noted, adding that "I was afraid of being caught in the middle of a law suit." Strathdee stated that he had been told that The Atrium was a Laid low by the insidious demands of peers for was fun, it was educational, it was neat, and it Tamiae publication. That support was withdrawn within days after him to do it, Cord News Editor Jonathan Stover was tax-free! Next WLU clinic will be on Janu- Student Publications was first informed of the 'new' newspaper. Stu- found himself giving blood at this Monday's ary 31. Be sure to bring all the blood you can dent Publications President Mark Hand said of the reversal that "it blood donor clinic in the Paul Martin Centre. It carry. (Tom Szeibel Photo) (The Atrium) was initially a Tamiae paper, but it seems they withdrew due to pressure when cautioned of the consequences of policy infringement." A member of Tamiae who wished to remain anonymous was present at a Tamiae meeting several weeks ago at which The Atrium was The politics publishing discussed. "We were told to keep it quiet," the source stated. "They of kept putting down the Cord...that it didn't reflect WLU because it STEVE BURKE ORION ASSANTE was too biased and anti-business, which was a bad image for the and stitutional Relations. school." Cord Weekly 4. No outside organization may distribute publi- on campus with In a memo dated October 2 and received by Student Publications Over the past several weeks, a problem has cations similar content or utility to those published by on October 4, Bruce Hodges, editor of The Atrium, informed Hand arisen between Student Publications and The Student Publications without permission from "The Atrium is a function of the School of Business and Econom- School of Business and Economics that has been the Solicitation and Advertising in ics...Our purpose is not to duplicate any WLUSU services nor take clouded controversy and shrouded in secrecy. It Committees. anything away from the Cord." Meetings between Hodges, all surrounds the publication of The Atrium — until 5. Commercial advertising is prohibited in any on campus unless Jakubowski and members of the Student Publications Board were this year the newsletter of the School of Business form approved by the Solicita- -- tions marred however, by name-calling and bickering, with Hodges leaping and Economics as a newspaper funded by ad- and Advertising Committees. organizations to his feet and swearing at Board members during one encounter. vertising revenues. 6. Student must have permission from the Solicitations and Advertising Hodges noted at another point that "If The Atrium is published, some- But understanding the problem isn't simple. Committees to conduct fund raising ventures one's going to have egg on their face, and it won't be us." When Such understanding involves university politics and that involve corporate Board member Neville Blair asked Hodges how breaking rules rules which are unfamiliar to most students, and sponsorships. often unfamiliar well. 7. K-W businesses to endorsed by President Weir himself would make The Atrium look to administrators as will be advised contact the good, Hodges offered no explanation. Under guidelines put into final form last year by Dean of Student's office or the Office of Institu- students and university officials, Student Publica- tional Relations to confirm the of a In a later phone conversation with WLU Associate Vice-President legitimacy tions — the of the - given solicitation by any campus organization. Jim Wilgar, Board Member Jonathan Stover told Wilgar that The publishers Cord was exclusive rights to advertising on campus by the 8. These policies regarding the use of the Uni- Atrium had indicated to Student Publications that The Atrium seemed Solicitations Advertising Committee (SAC). versity logo, publications, fund to expect nothing less than free rein to be given to them. Wilgar and raising ventures, The SAC is a committee sanctioned by WLU Presi- and campus advertising shall be enforced by the replied "they're (The Atrium) damned well not going to have free rein." dent John Weir. When the guidelines were drafted, Dean's Advisory Council in all student matter and the committee was comprised of WLU Dean non-student matters will be referred to the Director Two days later, a Solicitations and Advertising Committee meet- of Fred Nichols, WLU of of Institutional Relations. ing concluded that permission to advertise had not been obtained Students Director Institu- Arthur Stephen, from Student Publications or the SAC, and that advertising would tional Relations then-WLUSU President Karen Bird and-then Student Publications Article Two is the important one in the current conflict with WLU policy. The committee advised The Atrium - now President Chris Starkey. Atrium affair. The Operating Procedure Agreement an SBE publication, according to paper's representatives - the to re- This committee was originally created to help between WLUSU and Student Publications reads in quest permission for advertising and that publication of an October 10 avoid the duplication of services on campus and to part "The Union recognizes the Publication's re- issue be delayed until matters wereresolved. control how and by whom advertising, sponsor- sponsibility to provide all publications deemed Student Publications subsequendy received a statement of intent ships, and donations are solicited for university necessary for the students of the University...This from The Atrium. This explained that the newspaper would include publications and activities. shall include the student newspaper." The Operat- "general interest topics (ie. fiction, entertainment, etc.)". The state- ing Procedures Agreement also states that "The ment of intent seemed to breach both duplication of services policies The proposed final draft of the WLU agreement Publications shall have the responsibility to sell ad- (See Accompanying Story) and to contradict the previous statement on solicitation and advertising for Wilfrid Laurier vertising to potential customers on behalf of the offered by The Atrium editor that the paper would in no way compete University was in its formative for Union. The Union must approval the with The Cord. stages a couple obtain from of years before its approval by the SAC on October Publications before soliciting any advertising. The On Octobcr 13 the SAC gave WLUSP the following recom- 14, 1988. At that time it was noted by the com- Union reserves the right to solicit sponsorship(s) for mendations regarding The Atrium: that the paper publish its first issue mittee that it "accepts the proposed agreement on specific event(s) run by the Union." with advertising, with the advertising dollars be given to WLUSP soliciting and advertising, as well as the formation By agreeing to honour the operating agreement, while negotiations continue. It was also advised that the Atrium pub- of this committee as contained in items one through the University has in purpose lisher negotiate immediately with WLUSP and there be no more ad- and effect given sole six, and one through eight. Part of the agreement is right of advertising on to vertising until negotiations are resolved. The recommendations were campus Student Publica-

— as follows: tions, understanding only that Student Publications had full power to make its own deci- with the that Student Publica- sions, decisions which would theoretically be binding. tions will attempt to negotiate with University- 1. The University and WLUSU shall enter sponsored On October 16, WLUSP chose not to allow The Atrium to be pub- into clubs (ie. the Atrium) in the same way an agreement banning the use of outside agencies to that it negotiates with WLUSU on matter lished advertising intact. It was decided that a deal to freeze advertis- the of solicit advertising for campus publications. The na- competing publications ing revenues be rejected due to the length of time required to to those which Student collect tional advertising agency for the Cord Weekly and Publications already funds from advertisers. In a letter to Hodges, the Student Publications publishes. Yearbook shall be the only exception to this ban. as Board noted that it was willing to lay the resources of Student Publi- Or, it was put in a letter to Kitchener- cations at the disposal of The Atrium staff should they wish to re-lay- 2. The University agrees not to compete with Waterloo businesses dated November 1, 1988 and out the paper without advertising. In the same letter, Student Publica- Student Publications as per the Operating Proce- signed by Dean Nichols and Arthur Stephen, "With dures Agreement tions also noted that it was ready to negotiate with The Atrium in the between WLU and WLUSU. regard to advertising, please note that commercial hopes that an equitable solution can be reached for this matter before 3. The use of registered names and marks of advertising at Wilfrid Laurier is only permitted too much time has passed." "Wilfrid Laurier University" are controlled by the through campus publications and specifically those University and any publication bearing these names produced by WLU Student Continued Publications which have on Page 6 and marks must be approved by the Office of In- been designed with advertisers' needs in mind." The Cord Weekly 4 Thursday Octobcr 26, 1989 bill needle WHAT'S UP... AT THE YOU BIORHYTHM TURRET? by Bill Needle

It really pisses me off. Last Friday night in the shove my cigar up my sphincter. What the hell was FRIDAY. OCTOBER 27th Turret I was called a "sexist pig" and that pissed me HER problem? She must have been really anal right off. retentive herself if she didn't like a wee bit of Now I've been called a lot of things in my time stogie smoke blowing her way. Women love that the Afo but that was a new low. Me, Bill Needle, a sexist stuff. It's damn macho and I like it. I like it a lot, pig. The lady who said it is just lucky I'm too and no damned woman is going to tell me I'm in- chivalrous to belt her one. Now if it had been a man vading her airspace! Especially when she's wearing U graduating who said that to me, he'd be six feet under by now. some nausea-inducing perfume, the kind that hangs Hell, I would have hit him so hard, I would have in the air when you roll over in bed at 3 a.m. and killed his relatives! say as politely as possible "Okay, get out - you're class Personally I don't understand what the hell starting to stink." i everyone gets so riled up about. I mean, chill out, I really don't understand the mentality of these I the turret all you bountiful big-breasted and tight-butted people. Progress? Bah! I don't believe in it. Those in babes out there. That's what pissed me off, was were the days when you could pick out what you some mama getting all hot and bothered just be- wanted, crack it upside the head with a stick and cause I said something she thought was rude and drag it home by a handful of hair. Yep, I must have that it "offended her dignity." been born in the wrong millenium if these tarts are Come on, people, what's going on in this indicative of all women. SATURDAY. OCTOBER 28th damned world when I can't go up to some nice So anyway, I guess it's all just my frustration hamburger and say "Hey doll, howzabout we go coming out. The old twin testosterone factories back to my place and I can make you bray like a were churning out the magic elixir by the gobs full mule and you can make me breakfast?" For that she that night, and it was all for naught. I'm just saving slapped me and called me a pig. Oh well, who it up for the big one. (Call me Ishmael.) HALLOWEEN needs the bitch anyway. The thing is, and I don't want to get all OK, so some may think my methods are a little sermonish here, but the thing is that this whole forward, but that's just the kind of stud I am. It's sexist thing is all blown way out of proportion. Men not my fault if you're not Bill enough to handle it. are men and women are women and that's the way fcL^jjPr Now really, what was the chick's problem? I bet it is, damn it. And God bless the system. God bless she couldn't even handle tequila without tossing her it everyone! salad. Damn it! Where can I find a REAL woman I'm no hermaphrodite and I firmly believe that who can handle a Prairie Fire Bill Needle style? everyone is different so they deserve to be treated Half tequila and half tabasco, that's the only way to differendy. So if that means taking the bull by the do the suckers. With a chaser of scotch. And maybe horns and accepting my rightful position on top a chaser of Drano to boot. Damn straight. then that's just the way it goes. But you know, I think I could've handled all And my final words to the two clitori in the bar that if it wasn't for the other bimbo who told me to is: don'tknock it till you try it! WEDNESDAY. NOVEMBER 1ST NATIONAL ELECTRONICS !

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'WjK Packard Family Of Smith Corona OTHER $4 Typewriters And Personal Word Processors. 89 King St. N. Waterloo Ontario 2X3 N2J J The Cord Weekly ■news - 5 Thursday October 26,1989 Diplomacy is a must in foreign service

government officials as the Cana- TIM SULLIVAN Cord Weekly ministers at their heads. Swanson reflected on his experi- with no idea where he was to live, While the stereotype of the The commercial economic ences as a career diplomat. He where his children could go to dians were "sized up" before the diplomat as suave, sophisticated stream of diplomats help Cana- noted that he had met the school, or where the Canadian of- Saudis decided to buy a billion and debonair isn't necessarily dian firms penetrate foreign Emperor of Japan, and said that fice was. He didn't even know dollars worth of telephone president the the language. But he true, John Swanson from the De- markets by providing consulta- the late former of survived. switching devices and technol- Phillipines, partment of External Affairs says tion and marketing tools for com- Ferdinand Marcos, However, Swanson said that ogy. "That's the best part of the there is some merit to that cliche. petitive trade. This stream also was a friend. He also recalled his most vivid memory was about job," Swanson said. Swanson, Director of External deals with "the scoundrels of the landing at the Hong Kong airport drinking tea in Saudi Arabia with "A successful sale." Affairs (Trade Function) spoke to GATT (General Agreement on interested students about how to Tariffs and Trade)" as Swanson become a foreign service officer candidly called them. at a special Laurier lecture in ear- The political and economic ly October. He noted that there is stream is the typical diplomatic some merit to the aforementioned stream, according to Swanson. image of the career diplomat, as The people here deal with issues he suggested that diplomats must ranging from fishing agreements have some interest in both world to NATO to stealing cable televi- affairs and Canada to embark sion from the United States. upon their chosen professions in The development and as- the first place. sistance stream - or the "Good The Canadian diplomat noted Samaritan stream", as Swanson John Crosbie's words on the dip- put it — helps developing nations lomatic service that statesmen with everything from good farm- were the ones who sheared sheep, ing practices to safe ways to get and politicians the ones who water. skinned them, while diplomats Immigration is the fourth

were like stars - ever bright and stream. Here, foreign service silent. workers help reunite families, On a more serious note, process refugee claims and pro- Swanson said that diplomats provide passports to Canadians. mote the political and diplomatic Swanson noted that foreign interests of Canada and Cana- service workers have to be dians abroad, as well as seeing to energetic, resourceful, bright, the security interests of Canada as articulate, Canadian and hail from well. With nearly 4500 employ- a recognized university with a de- ees in 150 offices throughout the gree. Six new officers are recent world, the foreign service helps graduates of WLU. Canadians in distress across the Of the over 4000 applications globe. received every year for the ser- Swanson noted that there are vice, Swanson said that only four "streams" within the foreign about 500 are granted interviews. service, each with different Of those, only 100are hired. mandates and some with different After the presentation, (cki®® &km\ DEPT. OF MEDICAL BIOPHYSICS kitchener kitchener kitchener Waterloo For prospective graduate and summer students 210 Lorraine Ave 607 King St. w. 525 Highland Rd w. 465 Phillip St. interested in Cancer Research programs in Cell (at Heritage) (near Victoria) (Canadian Tire Mail) (Parkdale II Plaza Biology and Medical Physics. 741-1119 578-5050 741-5050 746-4220 ONTARIO CANCER INSTITUTE

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Continued from Page 3 ny on page 19 of the Atrium, an- that it was a poor thing to have a WLUSP made discussions im- said, "I proposed that." Board other major breach of school committee such as the SAC pro- possible. members in attendance at the policy. vide advisory steps to WLUSP if "We tried to go through the meetings agreed with Strathdee's Dean of Students Fred Director of Institutional Rela- the board of publications refuses right channels...but first they assessment. Nichols maintained that his role tions Arthur Stephen commented to adopt them. When questioned [WLUSP] objected to advertising, Board members also dis- in the situation is one of an ad- that "there was no approval about the advertising in The and then content" he stated. agreed with Hodges' simplifica- ministrator. While he agreed that given, as the matter was still at Atrium, Murray commented When asked about the possibility tion of discussions into the state- the rules can be changed, he the negotiation stage." "Well there are only a few ads of cooperating with the Cord and ment "the only solution they stated that "there is no room for a A 1 Strathdee believes that the anyway...l understand they did incorporating a business section would accept is production revision without opening the op- students contributing to the pro- pull some of them". into the newspaper, Hodges without advertising." "We offered erating procedures for every- duction of the paper were given Concerning the use of the uni- claimed "that would be like the several courses of action, all of thing." He suggested that poor counsel by Dr. J. Alex Mur- versity name illegally and in con- Financial Post going to the Na- which were rejected by The "cooperation is the only solution ray, the Dean of Business and junction with alcohol products, tional Enquirer." Atrium as untenable," Board under the present rules." Economics. "I feel badly for the Murray stated that he could not "Everything I want to say is in member Jonathan Stover said. However, after learning about students who put all that work in see it in the paper. If was there, the editorial," Hodges added. In Jim Wilgar repeated Nichols' the distribution of the paper, and disappointed with Dr. Mur- Murray said that it was probably the editorial, Hodges notes that he initial statements regarding the Nichols said that he was "sorry to ray, because he is aware of the very small anyway. "suggested we go ahead with enforcing of rules. "The goal is see it published while trying to rules governing advertising on Discussing the paper after publication and freeze advertising not to exclude any group, but to negotiate a deal." "The paper campus," Strathdee concluded. publication with Bruce Hodges, revenue until the validity of the ensure rules are enforced", he should not have come out with In a phone conversation with the editor maintained that there policy was discussed." WLUSU stated Monday. He said "I can see advertising at this time," he Dr. Murray, the Dean insisted was a "joint responsibility be- President A 1 Strathdee, who was their motive, and don't object, but noted, adding that "Student Publi- that The Atrium was from its in- tween [himself] and Dr. Murray" also in attendance at informal they should work according to the cations should rightfully be up- ception a student paper and it was as publishers of The Atrium. meetings between the Board and rules of the entire university". He set." Nichols also objected to the his understanding that the SAC When asked about the breakdown The Atrium, expressed puzzle- also suggested cooperation with use of the Wilfrid Laurier name had given Bruce Hodges permis- in negotiations, Hodges insisted ment at this written statement by the Cord as one possible alterna- in association with a beer compa- sion to publish. Murray suggested that the red tape brought up by Hodges. "Actually," Strathdee tive and stated "I would be sur- prised if The Atrium could function as a newspaper." • Character Memory • Auto Center/Return Student Publications Board

• • 16 Character Display Relocate member Bill Casey also ex-

• • Word Auto Underscore pressed sympathy for the work Spell-Right® 50 ;000 put into The Electronic Dictionary • End of Page Warning Atrium, but added "That's not the point at all. I • • Correcting Cassette Dual Pitch could say I feel the same • Right Ribbon System" • Bi-Directional Print sympathy for all the work that

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• • WordEraser® Forward/Reverse Index law-abiding, or any more right." • Auto Half-Space • Keyboard II Student Publications President Mark Hand noted "I just can't believe they (The Atrium publishers) are so goddamned stupid. Especially when we were quite ready to start negotiations just 24 Everything. hours ago." Board member Jonathan Stover added "I can't understand why they did this. By publishing For nexttonothing. The Atrium like this they've basi- cally said 'fuck you' to Student too. There's Publications, Leave it to Smith Corona to come your spelling's perfect ; even 'fuck you' to the up with a typewriter that offers all these an exclusive fumble-free Conecting university and 'fuck you' to Pres- ident goes." sophisticated features at a very unsophis- Cassette for quicker, easier correcting tape Weir. So it ticated price. changes. Features that give you word process- The Smith Corona XD 4600. Now

ing capabilities like Display and Memory, you can have _ and all without = | So you can edit; revise make your it Let me strive, every work letter-perfect. The Spell-Right having to tomorrowstechnology life, 50 000 word makes sure that spend it all. moment of my to ; Dictionary make better For more information on this product, write to Smith Corona Corporation, 65 Locust Avenue, New Canaan, CT 06840 myself or Smith Corona Canada, 440 Tapscott Road, Scarborough, Ontario, Canada MIB IY4. and better, to the best of my ability, that all , i : may profit by it.

Let me think of the right, and lend all my ■Kgr ■■ * iiii assistance to those who need it, with no regard for anything but IHI justice. v v-

Let me take what comes with a smile, without loss of cour- age. Let me be considerate of my country, of my fellow citizens and my asso- ciates in everything I say and do.

Let me do right to all, and wrong no man.

-DOC SAVAGE The Cord Weekly =news: special report 7 Thursday October 26,1989 Students will be hurt by new sales tax

professional visits BRYAN C. LEBLANC rowed money attract GST in the necessary for a their to local establish- Businesses News Feature same way as products bought designation are deemed "tuition" ments. adjacent to A new wide-ranging tax such with standard earned income do. in the Technical Paper. All other Other fees university campuses will suffer a tuition will be in the sizable amount of as the General Sales Tax will al- Clearly, the finance department taxed. This in- reduction and student trade which they en- ways be unpopular. No-one likes does not have a firm grasp of the cludes job-skills training gen- Many ancillary fees beyond have interest courses. joyed in the past. to be taxed. realities of student finances in eral tuition are paid by students as a A plays im- all, But the proposed Goods and Canada. university a very necessity of their education. After when the disposable Services Tax could have serious portant role in the community. Necessary educational expenses income of students is reduced, all catering to negative effects on post- The sharing of knowledge be- such as lab fees, computer usage businesses that market secondary education in Canada. Education value tween the institution and the com- fees, library fees, transcript lose as well. According to recent data from munity is a vital link in the edu- charges, material fees, athletic Federation of Stu- cational process. Taxing non- the Canadian Prime Minister Mulroney has fees which are not a requirement cost credit courses will damage this dents (CFS), the GST will stated that education and skills of a credit course and parking Rent increases on average $200 per relationship. on students training must be national fees campus should not be year. As low income earners — Think of it. The individual taxed. priorities in order to maintain and who is The construction of new rent- half of all post-secondary stu- attempting to better her- These fees cover some of the improve our competitiveness as a or through job- al units will presumably slow earn less than $7,000 per self himself basic components of the educa- dents nation. As a reflection of this training down after the GST is imposed year according to the 1989 Cana- courses is being unduly tional experience. The imposition commitment, many educational punished. on construction costs', and new ~ The senior citizen dian Campus Survey students tak- of a tax upon them will not only expenses and areas within the ed- units built will have the increased cannot afford this reduction in ing general interest courses is be an administrative nightmare, ucation secior are to be exempt being discouraged costs of construction passed on in their disposable income. from pursuing but a shirking of the govern- from GST. learning. the form of higher rents. These In listening to the various life-long ment's stated policy goals and its However, the GST proposal These are to increased development costs will groups speak against the GST, the wrong signals promise does not live up to the govern- not to tax education. passed on to indi- to be a common be sending Canadians at a time be low income there seems commitment to sec- ment's avowed when education and skills train- viduals who are already squeezed theme: everyone wants their post-secondary education. What tor to be tax free or tax exempt. ing are becoming increasingly to their financial limit. follows is a description of the Food woes Very few alternatives are being important in our information- Maintenance fees and utility areas in which the government costs will also be taxed under the put forward. Some which could based society. Education is bene- seems to have reneged on their regardless While it is good that univer- tax regime. These make the GST into a fairer sys- ficial to the country of proposed in- assurances to the education sec- sity meal plans are exempt from creased costs will also be passed tem include: the credit or non-credit status of tor. the courses taken. the new tax, the proposal must be on, increasing rent even more. 1) The administration of the tax must be undertaken in cooperation with the provinces. This will Cash reduce administrative costs and shortfall allow for the harmonization of federal and provincial tax sys- The proposed tax, despite as- tems. surances contained in the Techni- 2) The tax must be visible at the cal Paper, will affect university cash register. administrations. It is doubtful that 3) A progressive credit system the partial GST rebate scheme must be devised. Our proposal to will succeed in its goal of this end is a simple one. The De- eliminating the effect of the GST partment of Finance must set a on universities. realistic poverty or minimum income level. Universities should be given eligible to All those falling under that tax-free status, and be credits on all level will get a credit for all of receive input the tax paid. As incomes rise education-related purchases. of a public, above the minimum level, there They are providers service should be a sliding scale of government-sponsored credits which would ultimately and should be recognized as such. work its way down to zero. This altered to make it meaningful. It low The GST must not be allowed is the only way to ensure that is staled in the Technical Paper not subject to further contribute to the income Canadians are Severe price Textbooks high that plans which provide "all to an undue tax burden which chronic under-funding of our will meals for a continuous period of erode their purchasing power any post-secondary system. GST affect one month of more" will not at- further. The will students I'he cost of textbooks is al- in a severe way. Most are current- tract GST. 4) The proposed tax rate of nine ready prohibitive for many stu- level, This does not take into ac- per cent must be reduced ly living at a subsistence dents. The addition of a nine per consid- count that some plans -- including it is erably. and they have little ability to ab- cent tax will only increase this What sorb a reduction in their dis- problem. The tax on new WLU's - operate only during the week, leaving students to fend for The GST as now outlined posable incomes. textbooks musi be removed. The taxing of non-tuition fees, capital is the most themselves on weekends. the taxing of textbooks, the unfair must be looked at very carefully. Jiuman im- Taxing the printed page and portant resource country has. Clearly this type of plan will treatment students will receive Major changes are necessary to any the ideas and concepts it contains In rapid be taxed according to the Techni- under the GST Credit scheme, make it even remotely palatable an age of economic has never occurred before in Can- change and international integra- cal Paper. This is unacceptable, and the impact of the tax on the for post-secondary educational ada. It should not happen now. tion, we sell ourselves short and and most probably an oversight resources available not only to institutions and students alike. We cannot stand for a tax on damage our collective future by the Department of Finance. students but to the universities

ideas. -- when we damage our post- ITiis section must be altered be- themselves all these will result GST credit? secondary education system. This fore the GST proposal is accept- in a serious deterioration of the should be a time of expansion in able. post-secondary sector in Canada For the most part, the reduc- the educational sector, not one of Union fees The imposition of tax upon should the GST as written be tion in students' disposable in- slow rot and endless cuts. the prepared meals of off-campus passed into law. students will result in an increase come will not be offset by the The GST will have a real im- Students' Unions are an im- The government has made an in their living costs relative to impact of the GST Credit. This is due to the pact of the ability of students to portant part of the total educa- effort to reduce the students who reside in campus students and fact that most students fail to pursue further education. The im- tional experience. Many of GST on universities the residences. No differential in meet the minimum income level plementation of the proposal services on university in the Technical Paper. It is our offered Federal student loans pro- needed to receive the supplemen- would telling students and the campuses are provided by belief that the steps taken are in- the grammes has been proposed to tal $140 credit. That level is set at country at large that higher learn- Students' Union. At Laurier this adequate. More must be done, offset this situation. This issue $6,175. ing is not a priority in Canada, includes a housing office, health and soon. must be addressed. The Department of Finance despite all the rhetorical lip- insurance, the Cord Weekly, Clearly, the protection and the The lifestyle of many students has stated that anyone making service paid to it by our leaders. legal aid, the Turret, Wilf's and a support of the Canadian educa- are less than $6,175 per year could host of other services. is such that "fast foods" a tional system are important and not possibly be self-supporting. major part of their diet. This tax, necessary policy options for this This ignores the fact that students Credit courses These services are an integral in effect, reduces the purchasing government. The onus is on the take out loans to cover the cost of part of the university infrastruc- power of students who are eating government to eliminate the addi- their living and educational ex- ture and contribute significantly out by nine per cent. tional burden which will be penses. Tuition is not to be taxed un- to the quality of student life at There will be, presumably, a placed upon Canadian students der the current proposal. These loans are not included This is a WLU. As such, students' union reduction in the amount spent by and their institutions should the positive in the calculation of income. Yet, but inadequate measure, membership fees should not be students in restaurants, and a GST proposal be allowed to pro- purchases made with the bor- as only credit courses and courses taxable. reduction in the frequency of ceed unamended. The Cord Weekly 8 Thursday October 26, 1989 news- Exclusionary bylaws redux Waterloo passes on making housing decisions

M.A. v.BODEGOM Cord Weekly cause of fears that it contravened Lacking further public input, had little to say. They agreed that Symposium, which has been In what many view as a "non- the Human Rights Code. council debated the motion. They nothing has really been solved. organized to discuss housing is- decision," Waterloo City Council Rob Deyman, Director of felt that "enhanced bylaw enfor- Strathdee summed up the housing sues, may help in this regard. has yet to resolve the con- Planning for the City of Water- cement" would be effective and problem by noting that "it's a The net result -- eight months troversial student housing prob- loo, presented council with the directed staff to include this in very political issue." after the exclusionary by-law was lem, while leaving an illegal by- planning staff's newest recom- their study of the housing issue. banned by the provincial govern- law on the books. mendation. This recommenda- Council also discussed the pos- Lewis added that it "would be ment - is that the passage of an by-law At the Formal Public Hearing tion states that city council agree sibility of increased parking nice if it was resolved." Lewis amending zoning be on October 23 a sparse crowd in principle to amend the illegal regulations and other methods for feels that the Town and Gown deferred even longer. heard again of provincial legisla- by-laws, but not to make any keeping the number of residents NEXT IN THE CORD: LIBRARIANS, OSAP tion outlawing the city's exclu- changes until the problem is of a house down, but came to no ABUSE, GARAGE SALES, AN END TO IN- sionary by-law eight months ago. studied further. definite conclusion. A vote was

- JUSTICE, A WORLD WITHOUT HATRED, A The exclusionary by-law which After Deyman's presentation, held and the proposal was passed limited the number of people who the public was invited to give unanimously. LONELY PLACE OF DYING AND A PARTRIDGE could live together through the suggestions or comments. Not After the meeting, WLUSU IN A PEAR TREE. THEY ALSO SERVE THOSE use of "related/unrelated" defini- one concerned home-owner or President A 1 Strathdee and VP: WHO STAND WAIT, AND BE SURE TO RECYCLE tions - was declared illegal be- student spoke up. University Affairs Stuart Lewis ALL NEWSPAPERS ETHICAL AND OTHERWISE. — 'n 1*^^51 6 Erb _ street _ I E-

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Editor's Note: This is the first in a two part series on drug use. The opinions expressed herein are those the author, and in no way reflect MADNESS of REEFER those of the Cord editorial board, — Eddie procyk stqff, StudentPublications the Cord News Commentary as a whole, or even Bill Needle. there are hundreds of drugs, there are many users or not. are many misconceptions about *2here different kinds of Illegal drugs. There are illegal The August 1989 issue ofOMNI magazine use. However, are drugs really drugs and their hard drugs such as cocaine, heroin, LSD and carried an article called' 'ReeferMadness'' which people have negative that bad? Or is it just that others. And there are illegal soft drugs such as went against all the associated misconceptions associated with drugs? The facts connotations marijuana, hashish, magic mushrooms. Of course, of drugs. effects of drugs well- about the short term are there are also legallized soft drugs such as For instance, the main psychoactive governmental and other documented agencies cigarettes and alcohol. compound in marijuana is delta-9- bodies, they really telling everything but are us Granted, hard drugs cause both long term tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). In independent tests there is to know? and short term damage to your body. However, conducted by Allyn Howlett at the St. Louis that There are hundreds of different drugs do soft drugs? The government would have you University Medical School, Ross Johnson and by public ~ from are easily obtainable the believe they are equally dangerous, but can we Larry Melvin at Pfizer, a Connecticut Pharmaceutical company, and Billy Martin at the Medical College of Virginia found some interesting "It makes Homo sapiens hungry, horny, drowsy, and glad - or anxious. It results of marijuana smoking. dulls pain, inhibits movements, lowers body temperature, fools time. It In short, the researchers found that, as sets memory chasing its own tail and turns thought and perceptual Howlett noted "pot heads might be interested processes awry. Why?" to know, the cannabinoids didn't hurt the cells". Leah Wallach -- OMNI magazine Rather, "after exposure for several hours, the cells (just) no longer respond to the drug". This turn supports the theory, which drug prescription drugs, to 'safe' drug supplements. believe our government? in some users may not subscribe to, it larger And let's not forget both illegal recreational In talking to a number of students about that takes alcohol and and doses of drug to get same drugs and their legal counterparts, drug use, a majority said they use illegal drugs or larger the the this, never tobacco. have tried such drugs in the past. Obviously not buzz. Despite all the THC actually with ~ instead, It's easy to see the stigma associated everyone shares the view of the government on penetrates the cell walls in the brain up group drugs by bringing the subject in a of this campus. the THC gathers outside the cell. people. The most common way people try to One of the questions that pops to mind is if researchers, whom you would avoid expressing their views is by saying "I'll fA/ow "Why do people believe that drugs are bad but expect to be experts in their field, say that THC stick to drinking, it gives me enough of a high". insist on killing themselves?" In talking to many does not do any permanent why If this damage, does you generalize drugs as one big group, ~ students everyone from those who partake in the government say it does? Could they be may be true. the occasional dube to those who refuse to However, if you break the term covering something up? "drugs" ~ pollute their bodies with drugs 1 couldn't tell - More next week - down bit, perspective changes. a little the Just as by their appearance whether they were drug " Take n/e ballgame!"

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THE CORD WEEKLY

It's the Cord's annual Thumbs up-Thumbs down editorial. We were going to tackle the problem of the federal deficit this week, but then we decided that no one cared anyway. Enjoy and, excelsior! THUMBS UP to Dan Dawson and Wilf's for stocking Guinness, truly the balm to many a newsperson's tired afternoon of skipped classes. Now, about getting a keg of Dou- ble Diamond to go with that draft machine you've purchased... THUMBS DOWN to WLU for not providing emergency lighting in the nasty little corridor adjacent to the big truck by the SUB, so that students can be scared witless when they're trying to get from one end of the campus to the other. THUMBS UP to Dean of Students Fred Nichols, just because he's a swell guy. And the same to WLUSU secretary Linda Lippert, for being everyone's friend up here. They should each have a building named after them. THUMBS DOWN to everybody who doesn't know that Monopoly is played by millions of fully rational adults every year, that the period of post-pubescence refers to everyone from puberty to death, and that Wilfrid Laurier University was referred to as "Last Chance U" only in high schools like Shanty Bay High where Laurier didn't want to attract anyone anyway. Indeed, Laurier possessed a high academic reputation right Rally for Temagami Sunday from its inception as an affiliate of the University of Western EDITOR with cars, try calling me at 886- Ontario to the present. Indeed, the first tiny graduating class Letters 7162 or 884-1970 ext. 2902. from Waterloo University College won three of UWO's four An issue which has been dis- A member of the TWS will be academic gold medals that year, somewhat akin to Puerto Rico cussed recently in the Cord is the to the at Laurier in the concourse on outperforming the United States of America at the Olympics. blockade of the Red Squirrel Monday October 30th, so stopby Tsk, tsk. Get back in those classrooms, you crazy kids (or is Road extension into the old the booth. She will also be at the that pre-pubescents?)! growth forest of Temagami. Editor Laurier Environmentalists' meet- Many Laurier ing Monday at 5:30 THUMBS UP to WLUSU President A 1 Strathdee, who, students have ex- in PIO2I, and pressed interest in (and other) for support. This is a perfect op- we welcome new while he may soon go bald from the multitudinous pressures this members all the environmental problem. portunity for people who want to time. which are up and around WLUSU, is his building in doing On Sunday October 29th the help out but are unable to get up since Ballard back the Cathy Merriman damndest to be the best president Bill in Temagami Wilderness Society is to Northern Ontario. If you would distant past. He may make it, too, if he doesn't go nuts first. staging a rally at Nathan Phillips like more details, call TWS at THUMBS DOWN to the Anti-Panty Committee for creat- Square in Toronto, and they have 416-599-0152. Anyone interested President Laurier Environ- ing a committee that has two administrators, two faculty, one asked me to ask WLU students in carpooling, especially people mentalists graduate student and one undergraduate student on it. 4500 un- dergrads at Laurier have one voice of six on a committee? Gol- ly- THUMBS UP to Canadian University Press for alerting us Gordon to Gord to Gordon to the Christian Death Cult lurking somewhere near Laurier. I am writing in response to Gord Hocking'spuerile than callously degrad ing members of the opposite don't trust We here they've got a paper, so any foreign personal attack on me in last week's CORD. I sex on posters in the dining hall. newsletters on campus. know that Gord would like me to keep this as As it's not too late to start the battles once again, THUMBS DOWN to the examination schedule going up so simple as possible, so I'll leave him on his own Gord might be interested in reading Herbert Mar- soon, thus ruining everyone's Christmas holidays long before with that first sentence and endeavor (try) to keep cuse and Wilhelm Reich (the so-called intellectual they've even started gift shopping. Oh, why do they have ex- the rest at his reading level. fathers of the sexual revolution), so as to become ams before Christmas, Virginia! well versed in M&R's views of sexual repression to society. Intellectually armed, storm THUMBS UP Dr. Joyce Lorimer and Dr. Donald Baker I'm not sure, however, how simple to keep it. For and he could for being classy individuals, and for sending thank you notes instance Gord has difficulty with my use of the the barricades one more time. that lightened up a fairly shitty week for a certain news editor. word 'audit', but I had thought the word was part of In the meantime Gord sees me as a demi-god and THUMBS DOWN to WLUSP President Mark Hand for the general student vocabulary (WLU Un- wants to name a building after me. I like it. About not donating that malnourished body to science, and com- dergraduate Student Calendar 1989-90, p.v), as fifteen years ago I became a minister in the Church of Universal Brotherhood, thanks an ad in Roll- pounding his health problems by smoking smelly cigars, pipes, from time to time members of the university com- to ing Stone and $10. I could legally perform mar- cigarillos and, truth to tell, almost anything else that sits still munity do indeed take courses for other than credit raiages in the U.S. but unfortunately could never long enough and doesn't quiver too much. related reasons. THUMBS UP to WLUSP President Mark Hand for not Now I know that was a long sentence and that find any couples willing to cross the border so I Gord prefers the language to flow in a shorter, perform censoring the above as a man of his stature could very well could exercise my 'ministerial powers' and snappier fashion, but for better or worse that is my marriage. many have done. a I lost my wallet size I.D. card style of writing. I might suggest that he read an years ago, and just was for me DOWN assumed that it and THUMBS to WLUSU's marketing department for author suchas Thomas Wolfe ('Look Homeward religion. But now, as a demi-god...well, perhaps I their continual bludgeoning of the English language and typos Angel', 'You Can't Go Home Again', etc..), after will be able to perform marriages in 'my' building. in their Cord ads. You've only got three ads per week to do, which the length of my sentences will seem I have to say that I had many reservations about and every week we find at least three glaring errors. We know downright parsimonious (short) by comparison. moving to Ontario from British Columbia. My you've got a spell check on your computer, so use it. Questions of grammar and vocabulary aside, what friends said that it would be like two years in limbo THUMBS UP to Cordies Kirk Nielsen in Scotland, Sarah really interests me is how Gord interpreted my let- (reference under dogma and/or Jimmy Cliff), and Hayward in Great Britain, William Penny in Scotland, Kat ter. I did not write that I took down any posters, for that Central Canada, the Heartland, was truly anoth- Rios in Europe, Sean Stokholm in Hong Kong and Bryan C. the simple reason that I didn't take any down. I did er world. But now I'm going to have a public build- write that I believed the underwear be dis- Leblanc in Hamilton for spreading the Cord to the big wide not to a ing named after me. In B.C. you have to have long- play of pornography, but the posters to which the standing political (Social Credit) connections to world at large. Our truth goes marching on! underwear were attached. Simply stated, I suggest have public buildings named after you, but here in he read the letter one more time. Ontario it seems the process starts with writing a Editorial opinions are approved by The Cord Weekly on behalf of Cord staff and are sound judgement, independent of the University, the Students' Union and the Student Publications Board As for my moral well, ya either letter to the editor. Once again, I like it. If this pans of Directors. got it or ya don't. Of course I had assumed that the out I would like to move ahead and have a com- residences here, as at most other North American munity centre and hockey arena named after me in EDITORIAL BOARD universites, were co-ed, but that concept does not nearby towns, and then proceed to the major centres appear to fit into the moral climate at WLU. I had my Chris Starkey, Editor-in-Chief for the really big and lasting monuments to time that after the battles the sexual revolu- Jana Watson, Production Manager Jonathan Stover, News Editor thought of spent in Ontario. Elizabeth Chen, Features Editor CarolineBaskerville, Associate News Editor tion (we fought them on the beaches, we fought I come here an unknown and fairly impoverished Brian Owen, Sports Editor Tony Burke, Scene Editor them in the residences...) were over, university men student and leave a demi-god (although I would and women everywhere were living in co-ed dorms, prefer the more formal term 'lesser deity') with The Cord Weekly is published during the fall and winteracademic terms. Offices are and thus were able to get to know each other not located on the Second Floor of the Procyk Clinic for Reefer Madness at Wilfrid Laurier buildings named after me. Well, the streets may University, 75 University Ave. W., Waterloo (519) 884-2990. The Cord Weekly is an through the course of daily living, without having be paved with gold, but I for one have come to see active and proud member of Canadian University Press and the Ontario Community to resort to such adolescent dating rituals as panty Ontatio as a great province. Newspaper Association. Copyright 1989, WLU Student Publications. No part of The raids. The fun part is that there are many more may reproduced without the permission of the Editor-in-Chief. Cord Weekly be pleasurable ways of acting out one's sexuality other Mark Gordon The Cord Weekly comment- 11 Thursday October 26, 1989

Leave residence jest alone Question

TO THE EDITOR: All I, and hundreds of other based on these issues such as residents did, was simply knock apartheid, sexual harassment in I do not wish to drag on the on a door, ask for a pair of un- the workplace, rape, date rape, of the Week panty raid scandal any further, derwear and then put in on the true pornography and even but because of the fact that others wall of the dining hall. Not once politics if need be and leave a are dragging it on anyway, I feel did anyone involved, I'm sure, simple, residence jest alone. You it only reasonable to express my consider any of the above- are, if nothing else, only making a opinion, no matter how late the mentioned issues. mockery of yourselves and your reaction. I would hope that the com- profession. Why do people wear sunglasses inside? I would like to thank the so- mittee involved in trying to ban cial work students and all other panty raids would simply channel people who oppose panty raids their need to discuss social issues Megan Benjafield by Ann Lazarevic and Angie Karl for letting us know of their into something more important Ist Year Residence knowledge of social issues. It seems that a simple, fun and traditional panty raid that was no "Weir Inquiry" should more than an inconvenience at To hide their hangovers most to those who didn't enjoy getting up at four in the morning, justLIGHTEN UP has turned into a human rights is- EDITOR it gives the students a chance to Tara Tomlinson & sue, a women's issue, a sexual meet people and gives them a abuse issue, a gender relations is- For the past two issues of the chance to break away from study- Lorraine MacQueen sue, a issue and God pornography CORD we have all had a chance ing for a while. The raids are con- 2nd Year. know what else. to read 13 or 14 articles concern- trolled anyway and no one is ing the "morally horrifying" forced to steal another person's panty raids. Now, I know I'm not panties, regardless of its ap- helping the matter but I thought I pearance. Cord's CMA would jump on the bandwagon anyway. Besides, if we raise Everybody has their own way To leer at the opposite enough commotion over this of letting loose and if that in- sex's bodies ads give Luke ridiculous issue we might even cludes having a nice cool beer, get a public inquiry probing into then fine. So my advice to YOU, life purpose what ill effects a panty raid has HOWARD (author of "Raiders Always Watching on the poor influential minds of should conform...", CORD Oct. our "irresponsible and immature" 19/89), forget Nana Mouskouri, 3rd Year Observation EDITOR: frosh. Being that everything put away your chess board for the around Laurier is named after night, kick your socks off, pour So why do we spend three or someone, it only seems fit that yourself a nice stiff one (and I inquiry don't mean just coke!) and put on four years in this establishment of this be headed by our il- "Raise a little hell" (by Trooper), higher learning? Spiritual lustrious President John A. Weir. I can just see now, but most importantly LIGHTEN awakening? Aesthetic pleasure? it "The Weir Inquiry Panties", UP!!! A great question. Into headlining Cause they want to look next week's So what do we do after three CORD! Paul Lansbergen cool. or four years of higher learning? This is the greater question. Here A little harmless fun is relaxing, 2nd Year Hons. Economics I am at the end of the line, at- Ingrid Carlow tempting to divine the future, and r 1 1st Year Science sure enough, the answer comes to Don't gripe ill private! me via p. 8 of last week's Cord. I Write a letter to the editorand you may find out that really like the picture. Big burly others feel the same way. Make sure they ore 400 man sits on cliff with jeep. Below words in length or shorter and are accompanied by him (we can imagine) is the city, your phonenumber student 1.0. his home, sprawled out across the L and Names can be withheld, Canadian frontier. In a moment of transcendence he realizes that he pThe CORD. It's your paper! $ Because they think they has conquered all. He has chosen look good in them. his "lifestyle"; he has donned his apparel; he is drunk and he is full. And then, as I sat in my Skip & Sport & Ace bedroom, looking out across my rainy street, I fathomed my lot in 3rd Year Jerks life. I went out this morning and put a down payment on a jeep Cherokee. I've sent away my SASE to CMA and I'm going to join their winning team. I all makes sense now. Chaucer and Kierdegaard and Eliot and West and Gandhi and Luther. They The Corey Hart Look. : died and what did they leave behind? Rockefeller and Forbes and the Bronfmans knew the truth. Wendy Bonza There is purpose in life and CMA has given it to me. 4th Yeart Fine Arts j Luke Martin the university blues by Kevin Matchstick

The closest thing to a paper bag.

Jennifer Ross& Christine Awram 1st Year French The Cord Weekly 12Thursday October 26,1989' comment Innu victims of Stark Raving federal genocide By Chris Starkey

It's time that the TV Lounge butt out! week's Board Meeting, a motion to detoxify the TV Samuel D. Kuhn Lounge was "referred back to committee" because WLU became effectively smoke-free two years of there were no guidelines for enforcement. The kids were playing outside the tent at our camp on the ago in accordance with Ontario legislation. At that HELLO...HELLO!!! In case you don't remember a Penipuapishku-nipi. All sudden, shores of of a two time, a great deal of poop flew from smokers who certain court case a few years ago boys and girls, Luftwaffe Phantom jets flew right over the tent. We could argued that the university wasn't providing any area WLUSU docs not own the building, the university not hear them coming. They were about 200feet above the for them. WLUSU politicians, led by some well- does. Check page 14 of your undergraduate to ground. The children started cry... known chimneys, got the Student Union to provide calendar -- it lists all the WLU buildings and Innu Hunter this "service" to the student body, and allocated reiterates their smoke-free status. smoking privileges in the Turret, Wilf's and the TV The TV Lounge isn't even suiting its original Since the early 1980's the Canadian government has been trying to Lounge. well-intentioned purpose. This summer it acquired sell to the North Atlantic Treaty Organization the notion that the Wilf's and the Turret (as drinking establish- the unofficial title of "Staff Smoking Lounge". peninsula be Quebec-Labrador would an 'ideal' location for a Tacti- ments) escaped the Ontario edict, but knowingly or WLU employees lit up by the cartonful in taking cal Fighter and Weapon Training Centre. This region, the Mulroney unknowingly, the policy to allow smoking in the advantage of the dearth of smoking opportunities government maintains, is a "wilderness interior free of human habita- TV Lounge was in contradiction to these new that the university was providing them. A quick tion." provincial guidelines. The question is: why has look around the area at break time and lunch will An estimated 12 000 Innu people, whose culture and hunting way nothing been done to give the Lounge back to the confirm that this trend has continued. of life go back almost 5 000 years, occupy this supposedly pro-breathers? The same TV still churns out its dai- And that bunk about "no guidelines for enforce- uninhabited region of the Eastern Subarctic. The militarization of this ly talk shows and soaps, but the Lounge is still bil- ment"? WLU Security established "smoke patrols" unique and fragile land, known to the Innu as Nitassinan, means the lowing out its carcinogenic filth. amongst the haze in the Concourse, Atrium and Li- further destruction of their culture. Now I admit I'm not much for smoking. Noth- brary that effectively butted out the malcontents. The Innu people have never ceded their territory to Canada by ing tips my bowels the morning after a Turret They knew that. What you did last Sunday seems to treaty or land claim agreement, but by the late 1970's large tracts of bender more than a sniff of my jeans (I refer not to be an attempt to avoid the issue in order to keep the Innu land had been severely disrupted by hydroelectric dams, mining the gaseous remains of my pork and beans dinner, heat off yourselves. A cop-out and logging. Euro-Canadian culture has been, and is being, imposed but of the smoke that seems to cling to cotton better The university implements all of its new un- upon the Innu people who, prior to contact with the Europeans, were than late season burdock). I'm not one of these popular policies in the summer when there's no-one practicing a way of life which combined generosity and collective re- adamant non-smokers that feign a heart attack if around to complain. Are the 1989-90 WLUSU ex- sponsibility with anti-authoritarianism and respect for individuality, they get a whiff from a fag, but I do get trapped in ecutives trying to stall what could be a potentially an ethic that continues to this day. an enclosed area with a few buttheads at times. I flammable decision until they are out of office? It Innu culture is based on a profound respect and interaction with don't ask them to stop or make a scene...l just leave sure looks that way. their environment. Their seasonal migrations and rituals make pos- the room of my own accord and wait for the Smokers who want to watch TV can go to sible a way of life which manages to maintain sustained yields of Surgeon General to assure me that I can re-enter the Wilf's now. Give the TV Lounge back to the pro- wildlife making the Innu truly an advanced society. This highly effi- area without contracting lung disease or complicat- breathers. And WLUSUites, if you want to continue cient and successful lifestyle evolved over thousands of years and ing future pregnancies. to violate provincial law, hold your office hours in must not be tampered with. Butt back to the TV Lounge -- WLUSU has there for a few weeks. That should convince you. The proposed expansion of CFB Goose Bay, and the increased low- been balking at dealing with the issue. At last In the meantime, I'll be holding my breath. level test flights by Dutch, German and British tactical fighters, threatens to push the Innu culture into the abyss of extinction. These low-level test flights began in 1979, increasing to 7000 flights an- nually by 1987. If the proposed expansion of tree-top flights occur then the Innu will have to contend with 40 000 flights a year. Even if the NATO base is not established in Nitassinan, annual flights are expected to rise to 20 000. The low-level training conducted out of Goose Bay takes place in two designated low-flying areas totalling about 100 000 square kilometres, an area that is larger than Belgium, the Netherlands and Luxembourg combined. Caribou, vital to Innu culture and a mainstay, are being forced out of traditional hunting grounds by low-flying jets. These low-level flights support an aggressive NATO strategy called Follow-On Force Attack, which presupposes entering the enemy's territory at such a height that detection by radar is difficult. Essentially, the low-flying aircraft become manned cruise missiles thus enabling NATO to get around Intermediate Nuclear Force Treaty restrictions. The aircraft and weapons utilized at CFB Goose Bay are nuclear capable. Hardly a confidence building measure, rather, the expansion of CFB Goose Bay increases the chances of war and makes rapid and uncontrollable escalation during and East-West conflict much more likely. Since the flights began in 1979 the Innu have been engaged in civil disobedience. The announced intention of the Canadian government to designate more huge tracts of land for the proposed NATO Tacti- M.O.U.L.E.: Dave O'Hopper cal Fighter Weapons Training Centre has triggered an escalation in BY JOHN BRETT GRAINGE these peaceful protests, including occupations and encampments by the Innu on the CFB Goose Bay runway. Also, last December, 30 This week's MOULE is a fa- Tell me the most exotic experi- listen to others even though ig- people were convicted in Ottawa for blockading the road in front of natic nature lover and faithful ence you've had at a floor party norant. They too have their National Defence Headquarters. Catholic Dave O'Hopper. His this year. story... As the deadline for a decision on whether to locate the NATO base history dates back to 1066 after I saw a guy puking. After Be yourself, especially do not in Goose Bay draws near, the Innu have begun one last ditch the Battle of Hastings, he loves you've seen the girls you'd sin- fain affection, neither be cynical campaign to halt all low-level flights. This final desparate effort in- chess and he's a Virgo. cerely agree with me. about love. cludes a cross Canada tour by an Innu family, as well as an Innu Nurture strength of spirit to delegation to all the European NATO capitals. In this way the Innu If you were going skiing and you If you could photograph some- shield you in sudden misfortune. hope to influence the voters themselves. Also, on November 14th a saw a cliff, would you shift into one, how would you photograph Be gentle to yourself you are a planned blockade of NDHQ in Ottawa, as well as demonstrations the tuck position and accelerate? him/her? child of the universe. here in Waterloo and across Canada, will occur. The direct action is Yes, that's just the type of I'd have to answer that one being organized by the Alliance for Non-Violent Action based in guy I am. I live for the thrill. I with a four part question with And what does the rest of the Toronto. would just have to know what three sub-parts. world think of Dave? Innu Chief Daniel Ashini has issued a plea: "We are calling upon was over that cliff...even if it With a little group therapy, any- all people of goodwill to support our struggle to free our homeland, killed me. / saw you stealing muffins from thing is possible ~ Mark Grant Nitassinan, from the current invasion by the air forces of various the cafeteria. Now tell me your an Everybody wants to get to know NATO countries... I need to make it entirely clear that if the NATO Who would you like to make love honest guy! him — somebody who doesn't base is established, Nitassinan will be turned into a war zone and our to the most and why? I'm an honest guy. I don't do know him nation will be utterly destroyed...please do everything in your power Well, if you see my roomate dat sort of thing. He takes 3 hour showers and still to stop the oppression and violence that your government has brought sleeping you'd understand my comes out sweaty. Just gotta to us." answer. It's gotta be Ken. He's Can you give the Laurier student wonder — Ken Webster's New World Dictionary gives the meaning of genocide such a sexy guy. some words of wisdom? Bad taste in cough mcdicine but as being "the systematic killing of, or a program of action intended to Remember what peace there he has nice legs - Blair Duthie destroy, a whole national or ethnic group." If one accepts this defini- Do you have a perfect life Dave? may be inside of us. As far as His hair is so sexy! — Mark tion then, with the legacy of our past treatment of native peoples as Yes, I've got a perfect life. possible without surrender be on Fieldhouse our guide, we cannot help but term Canadian governmental action Just because my family is slowly good terms with all persons. The guy is a chick magnet - towards the Innu as genocidal. falling into bankruptcy... Speak your truth quietly and Adam Derry The Cord Weekly 13Thursday October 26,1989 The Scene at Shining Pantages masks a glance the Phantom's flaws "Waking up at six a.m. on a cool morning, Open the windows and breathing Neville Blair, Theatre Review in petrol, Watching the telly and thinking If you've recently been vaca- 'bout your holidays, tioning in another solar system, That's entertainment." you may not be aware that the

- The Jam much ballyhooed megamusical, The Phantom of the Opera, has opened at Toronto's newly refur- bished Pantages Theatre. The question was: Would the theatrical production itself be pop group The The has British of the pomp and circum- pulled out of the Canadian leg of worthy stance with which its opening their current lour. The reason was being heralded? Sadly, the is that singer and founder cited answer is no. Matt Johnson has experienced a Irish tenor Colm Wilkinson death in the family. The dates (The Phantom) and Toronto-born canceled include their stop at U Rebecca Caine (Christine Daae) of W's Fed Hall November Ist. have such prodigious vocal talent AAARRRGGHH!!! They're mul- that they should command the tiplying like rabbits up there! stage during any performance. First The New Kids In town, then And although Phantom is carried Rumbleseat, and now the Rolling along partly on the strength of Stones tribute band Tumbling Andrew Lloyd Webber's score, Dice will be playing the Turret. the narrative is neither dramati- How many Stones clones are cally taut or even very engaging. there anyway? For the few who However, it may be the fat- did not catch a seat for the dusty tened, opulent style with which rockers latest tour, don't miss this Phantom is staged that is its true show November Ist. Achilles heel. This production is so inundated with visually stun- ning pyrotechnics - glorious lighting, awesome set changes, flash Caine pots, enough stage smoke to gag Colm Wilkinson as The Phantom and Rebecca the Marlboro Man, and a as Christine Daae. that threatens to crash The Cafe Bon Choix Performance chandelier tasy. vide a suitable theatre in which to down upon the audience's heads - Series, jointly sponsored by WLU For as is often the case with perform the show. that performers become absolute- and Waterloo Showtime, offers a these "mortgage musicals" Cineplex Odeon C.E.O. Garth the of ac- forum for local talent. This will ly dwarfed by miasma (named so because their aim is to Drabinsky has a hefty In the pumped consist of informal dinner meet- tivity that surrounds them. pay off the exorbitant mortgages $18 million into restoring the final analysis, The Phantom the ings where aspiring artists can of of the venues in which they are Pantages, a seventy-year-old Opera to its own ex- present their works to a suppor- falls victim performed), shows are chosen on theatre originally designed by cesses. But it is by no means the tive audience. To join the list of the basis of their perceived ability Lamb for vaudeville and time has happened. Thomas performers, contact Dr. Andrew first that to sell rather than for artistic silent movies. Famous Players ext. 2070. merit. Although Les Miserables Stubbs at 884-1970 The four-year-old musical is butchery of the architecturally Call 747-4261. may be partly exempt, these the third installment of the eclectic theatre into the Imperial megamusicals are no longer Toronto troika of megamusicals - Six in 1972 made Drabinsky's marketed as "theatrical events" The U of W's Drama Department Cats and Les Miserables having planned restoration a rather for- but as "social events" at which presents a double bill of Jean preceded it - which has imbued midable and even unenviable one. the well-heeled hob-knob with Claude Van Itallie's Almost Like commercial theatre in that city However, one has only to others of their ilk. Being and Edward with renewed vigour. The success look at the restored baroque and Albee's The Meanwhile, Toronto theatre Zoo Story in the Theatre of the of the shows has also placed a rococo interior to appreciate what companies that specialize in more Arts October 24 to October 28. dramatically increased impor- Drabinsky and company have serious or experimental ventures brought to If (such as Toronto Workshop Pro- back life. the portly tance on the role of the corporate business wunderkind was looking ductions) find themselves in wont sponsor in the production and a perfect venue which to of both subscribers and financial for with marketing of such endeavours. open Phantom, he has certainly $8 assistance. The Bombshelter at U of W With an unprecedented million found it in the restored Pantages brings The Shuffle Demons back sunk into the Phantom produc- The opera's Toronto engage- Theatre. to the K-W area October 28. tion, the musical adaptation of ment represents many year's ef- It's a shame the Phantom Leroux's 1911 novel is a October 30, Stages presents: Ray Gaston fort on the part of Cineplex finds itself haunted by commer- Lyell and the Storm. viscerally pleasing - but theatri- Odeon not only to bring the cial hyperbole that fails to mask - Gothic fan- Stones tribute band, The Tum- cally unsatisfying Phantom to Canada, but to pro- its theatrical inadequacies. bling Dice at the Turret Novem- ber 1. Yay. The Tubes are back and appear- ing live at the Highlands in Cam- bridge November 1. Will that be Cash or visa? Pop The Gator features The Downchild Blues Band Novem- Eric Jemetz and Liza Sardi, Concert Review ber 8. The Centre in the Square will be- date: October 23, 1989 come a Rockland with Kim time: 22:00 hours Mitchell and Allannah Myles place: Stages (otherwise known as the Leopards November 9. Lair) Scraping the bottom of the pile, setting: Big Steel men, Fairweather women inter- Platinum Blonde bring their mingled with a shot of grade 13 groupies music and make-up to the Highlands November 10. This is a story of a concert. Despite the rather Ex-Payolas lead singer Paul garish surroundings the Andrew Cash concert was Hyde will be at Stages November both refreshingly genuine and honestly energetic. 13 We had a good time. The repertoire consisted of November 20: Harry Belafonte many songs from his latest album plus a few flashes one show only at the Centre in Sardi from the past. the Square, Kitchener. Liza Despite the fact that the manager had no idea Spirit of the West conspirator what the Cord Weekly was, we still managed to Connie Kaldor brings her get inside on our charm and wit. Once inside the acoustic-based music to U of W Photo: Lair we heard a screech emanating from the stage. November 25. J MORE ON PAGE 17 THE SCENE The Cord Weekly 14Thursday Octobcr 26,1989 FACULTY ROMANCES Amodrous Academva by Holly Quinn

Jonathan Stover, Burning English Major Love

Furious, Priscilla threw her well-thumbed copy of the Dictionary of Allusions to the floor and then threw herself into the over-stuffed recliner which always reminded her, peckishly, of the Cave of Despair in Sir Edmund Spenser's Fairie Queene, although she had #LffIRTY never quite figured out why. It had all started over breakfast, when Bruce had questioned the wisdom of her wanting to get a job at a local insurance firm. "My dar- ling ragamuffin," he had croaked between gulps of scalding coffee, "why would you ever want to do something silly like that? The real world is highly overrated." Bruce, of course, had been working on his Ph.D on the erotic symbolism inherent in Mother Goose for nearly two decades now, and his goatee was starting to show tinges of grey. The students in his classes loved him, though, because he was a focus for all their pretensions of intellectual superiority.

When he asked them whether anything really mattered, or whether truth really existed in any absolute sense, they wriggled in their seats like kittens being tickled on their tiny soft bellies, before falling, as kittens always do, back to their squabbling amongst themselves, like drunken sailors on shore leave from a Literary Criticism class, wanting to try out all their big words on each other like tiny : sharpened claws which are so intrinsically small as to be ultimately THEME COME AS YOUR pointless. Most of them, mused Priscilla, had the sort of swelled heads that FAVORITE DEAD PERSON only result from intellectual malnutrition, as they fed themselves like sharks on Great Works and Great Thoughts without ever sticking SATURDAY OCTOBER 2$ other thoughts and emotions which were just as important as those in their fat, pus-ridden heads. If she heard one more of the little shitheads dump sneeringly on Stephen King and everyone who read his books as "intellectual pigmies", or heard another one of them justify their own stupid underdeveloped and off-base thoughts on a Shakespearean play by trotting out the "all opinions arc equally valid" FULLY LICENSED argument, she thought she might puke all over her damnable an- m^TUNDER THE L.L.8.0. notated Moby Dick Takes Manhattan. RESTAURANT / NIGHTCLUB It wasn't that, though. Priscilla didn't want to go out into the real creeps place says party! world any more than Bruce did. It was just that they had run out of 2000 in a that money long ago. She had been able to get food money by selling her- PRIZES FOR BEST DEAD THING... self to eager young students at English Club wine-and-chccse parties. In return for her services, they gave her Norton Anthologies and other ADMISSION $4 FREE B4 9=oo fine books, all of which brought a handsome price when it came time for text buy-backs.

_ — HITS _ But this couldn't go on. She had written so many damned essays for those eager students that her own doctoral thesis had fallen by the wayside, and the world might never know about the inherent reverse sexism of Mary Shelley. And, while she hated Bruce, he at least

wanted the same things she ultimately did ~ an end to fulfilling sex across the globe so that the rest of the world could be as pissed off as they were, and a really good suede jacket with nice leather patches on ttKf the elbows.

<<\ Mtt& vs v ' "W~°v »\ 'l >v l 1 °^tfo^v° SANTA SAYS... WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 15 GO HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS WTTH TRAVEL CUTS/ fCHRISTMAS CHARTER FLIGHTS^ WTFULLY LICENSED VANCOUVER from $379 UNDER THL 11 DO RESTAURANT/NIGHTCLUB EDMONTON $319 with VERY SPECIAL GUESTS CALGARY $299 HALIFAX $199

x| ■IIIIA^&IIm from ESTONIA U.S.S.R. TRAVEL CUTS 187 COLLEGE ST. TORONTO advance $12 (416) 979-2406 door$14 CUTS PHOTO I.D. REQUIRED TRAVEL mnHssnmni GoingYourWay! 34lMarsland Dr. Waterloo 886-7730 ir 1 mile from both Universities The Cord Weekly 15Thursday October 26,1989 Oh, that old black comedy Tony Burke, Film Review Cowboy Junkies, the Ramones, self in the independent film arena at the K-W Drive-in, employed, film on November 1,2,11,and 25. and Nash the Slash. over the past few years. His work MacDonald said, "because it's Somewhere in the wasteland The star of the film is on Ron Mann's Comicbook Con- one of the last drive-ins in It's doubtful that this "rock n' of Northern Ontario a young Ramona, played with great sin- fidential and Norman Jewison's Ontario that still has the speakers road" movie will attain legendary director visits a local bookstore cerity by Valerie Buhagiar, and Agnes of God has culminated in on the poles". The world com- cult status but it is very entertain- seeking a brief intellectual respite features her mission to bring back his first full-length film. Right out mercial premiere of the film will ing. When the suggestion of from his artistic endeavours. One "The Children of Paradise", a of the gate, MacDonald picked up take place at the drive-in October patrons bringing dead animals to title captures his wistful eye: The rock band under the auspices of the Best Canadian Film Award at 27 with Bruce MacDonald and the screening was brought up, Roadkill Cookbook. A dream is her boss, promoter Roy Seth, the 1989 Festival of Festivals for soundtrack contributors the MacDonald would only, sadly born. from an aborted tour. Roadkill. Teknakullar Raincoats on hand say "on the very last day of shoot- Bruce MacDonald has served The cabbie, Buddie, insists on A montage of techniques, for the festivities. The Princess ing, I ran over an animal. I felt up a delectable celluloid recipe driving her all the way from Roadkill betrays MacDonald's in- Cinema will also be running the terrible." with his latest film Roadkill'. the Toronto to Sudbury in search of fluences. From black comedy story of a girl who learns to drive. the group. In the first attempt to straight out of Track 29, to in- But it is much more than that. In- reclaim The Children, Ramona spired Jewison-esque still photog- corporated in this black comedy loses her money and her bag and raphy, to the film's ending, where Sex, lies, and trivia is a spiritual search for the mean- gets thrust into the spotlight of all the players converge, reminis- by Steve Burke ing behind rock music, a cast of the manic director Bruce Shack cent of Five Corners. Fill in the answers to the quiz below and Jrop them off in the box at characters that brings the viewer (played by director Bruce Mac- It's amazing that the quality the Cord offices by noon Monday. The entry with the most correct to the edge of insanity - a would- Donald). This is just the begin- of the cinematography, the script answers will receive a year's membership to The Princess Cinema. be serial killer determined to find ning of an assay into the brilliant, (by Don McKellar, 1. In Fatal Attraction, Glenn Close gets pregnant, but the rabbit dies. who also How does she kill it? fame and fortune, a renegade film the brutal, and the bizarre. played serial killer Russell Skel- 2. What evidence, discovered in a linen closet by Glenn (again), maker manically searching for the MacDonald's portrayal of an ly), and acting captured in Close the implicates Jeff Bridges at the end of The Jagged Edge? ending to his film, a eccentric film perfect dope- small-time filmmaker is was produced for $250,000 3. Star 80 was based on the short life and tragic death of Dorothy who Strat- smoking cabbie tells tall quite indicative of the personality and shot in only two weeks. One ten. From what Canadian city did the playmate emerge? stories of bumping elbows with behind Roadkill. A man of vision scene took place in our very 4. David Mamet's play Sexual Perversity in Chicago was adapted into a

- rock n' roll royalty and an im- and drive, MacDonald has been neighbourhood - with students film starring Demi Moore, Rob Lowe and Jim Belushi. What was the

pressive soundtrack including the slowly making a name for him- from Forest Heights Collegiate - film called? 5. Where did the chance meeting take place in Brief Encounter?

5. In what building was No Way Out set? 7. What 1986 film, starring Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger, does Rourke intend to direct a remake of? 8. Clint Eastwood's Play Misty For Me pre-dated Fatal Attraction with ars identical theme. What was the occupation of Eastwood's character? 9. In Brian DePalma's Body Double, who played the role of Holly Body?

10. Jesus of Montreal director Denys Arcand explored sexual issues with what 1986 film

Name: Phone:

In the event that there is more than one set of correct answers, a draw will be held by the Scene editor. Results will be posted in the Cord officc and in next week's Issue. Answers to last week's quiz: 1. a cigarette 6. a gynecologist 2. his stomach 7. insert hair in a 3. a baby scratch on his back 4. Stephen King 8. Beverly and Eliot 5. a baboon 9. red 10. mutated women Last week's winner of a one year membership to the Princess Valerie Buhagiar as Ramona inROADKILL, a rock n' road film. Cinema: Pat Mitchell.

wiusm ggEjiguj ( BaUroom Dancing } f TYPING |fTT| servlEe] r Is Lessons on Nov. 5,12,19 and 26 |_5 X Sign up in the Concours on Oct. 26 I /a (first come first serve basis)

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Al ftOhk) Tuesday Oct. 31 V „ J BPM ||| | *iA/u9wr*°y N In the T.A. ■iiinii ■■

V $3 WLU $4 Other J | WLU?W fWLU^UJ The Cord Weekly 16Thursday October 26, 1989 I Comedy isn't pretty lacos Donna Goudreau, Comedy review

10% DISCOUNT Saturday night at WilPs was the location of another "Just Joking", an event brought to WLU by WLUSU. This week, WITH STUDENTCARD. ihe show brought us two comedi- ans: Meg Soper and Carmen Ciricilli. First up was Meg Soper, who proved to be hi-LAR-ious. She introduced everyone to "Fluff", her first-row victim. If anyone took abuse Saturday night, it was poor Fluff. Cheer up, Fluff, you could have been called worse. Meg talked to the audience about everything from dogs that reminded her of tissue box covers

to PMS - which she suggested was actually an acronym for

Potential Murder Suspect - and the effect of American beer on a Canadian's kidneys ("Hey, ANYTIME ALL there's piss coming in!"). Ciricilli came on. Winfrey Nightmare!") with a lot Possibly the highlight of her of somewhat funny stuff in be- act, was the story of when she The first thing Carmen com- tween. mented on, was the THE TIME" worked in a department store, and besides Fluff, Unfortunately, some of his a man came in one day asking her tri-paneled WLUSU corkboard jokes and spontaneous comments TACO to help him find a Kotex jacket: behind him: "What's this, a fold were lewd, and at one point, the '"Correct me if I'm wrong, but up coffin?" The audience chuck- audience groaned their dis- 'BELL it's Gortex that you're looking led through most of his act as he approval to which he responded for.' Could you imagine this man joked his way through kids in with an even sicker response. nor VALID WITH ANY 01111 K OFFER with a coat coming home grocery stores ("You Carmen Ciricilli wasn't all NO ALCOHOL. PRODUCTS Kotex know the INCLUDED. from work one rainy day? 'Hi merry-go-rounds they have for bad, nor was he all good, as he honey, I'm home. It's raining like kids in the front of the store? himself seemed to acknowledge

hell out there - I must have Those things should come with a after one of his jokes did not go soaked up half the street!'" puree button for the really bratty over well. "Fuck you, that one Her jokes kept the audience in ones!"), and dates ("If I ask a girl was funny!" he responded casual- 85 University Ave. E stitches throughout the entire per- out while I'm trashed, I call it a ly- formance, which concluded when blind date" and"The Farrah Faw- Perhaps the WLUSU coffin the second comedian, Carmen cett dream becomes an Oprah should have swallowed him up. Sports bar implicated in steroid scandal: dubin inquires into GLER'S burger recipes

' * ilr 172King St. W.[.Open Monday News leaked from the Dubin Inquiry in Toronto details a bizarre new twist in the , a' spreading STEROID SCANDAL. The report implicates shady restaurant and bar owner, » SSI? Glerascious Hornblower. Apparently Wilfr id Laurier and Waterloo University athletes, as well as national team athletes in the area, have been flocking to Hornblower's bar for steroid-laced, beef-building burgers. A source close to Hornblower says this was 3()%OFF Hornblower's first step of a master plan to put Canadian athletes on the map. ALL USED Hornblower's plan was apparently foiled due to thousands of complaints from Waterloo arte girls to the Ontario Health Board about boyfriends who were getting bigger RECORDS muscles everywhere but shrinking in a far more critical area. A recent analysis of the hamburger showed that massive amounts of the steroids DIAZOBAL and WINSTROL B were present. When pressed for comment, Hornblower quipped, "I thought they were meat tenderizers." 15% OFF ALL NEW Investigators are looking into Hornblower's connection to the Ben Johnson camp and RECORDS allegations that he was in Seoul during the Olympics. 20% OFF U.K. POSTERS

DENON HD6-100min. AVOID 15 KING ST N . WATERLOO (BLANK TAPE) 10 FOR $32.99 SALE ENDS FRI. OCT. 27th. The Cord Weekly 17Thursday October 26,1989

Wrath & Redemption McLachlan a pleasant surprise Grapes strong but sober

Tony Burke, Concert Review but it went something like "ooh of the songs from their previous woman baby love yeah"). album Treehouse also included. This left the first record com- Why is it that in an age where After her short hour-long set, pletely untouched. Yet the quality creativity is an increasingly pre- McLachlan handed over the stage of the songs were commodity, there are so to The Grapes of Wrath for the selected cious enough to keep things moving. many pop bands in the market stongest show to hit this town all Beginning with single after great books. Canada year. their latest named "Do You Want To Tell Me", us (Caucasian) Chalk Cir- The quality of the Grapes' and offers cuts like "O Man", cle and (The Picture of) Dorian music did not suffer with the through Lucky "Peace of Mind", Gray, a group of greasy metal- transition from studio to stage. and "Stay", The heads performing under the name Many of their songs have multi- Grapes proved themselves to the but of 39 Steps, and ÜB4o's origin is layered guitar arrangements crowd. the code for the U.I.C. application Kevin Kane managed to carry the Except for one person. form in England. But have any of melody with an added dose of "You fuckin' losers!", an ob- these performers actually given distortion. New Grape Vincent viously high-browed observer any thought to the work from Jones helped to fill out both old screamed. Hooper responded with which their name originates? and new songs with flourishes of "Are you from the Imprint?" and Have they ever even heard of organ and piano. Bassist Tom asked the gentleman to leave or Aldous Huxley, John Bucan, or Hooper picked up some of the or- come down to the stage for a Oscar Wilde? chestration present on some of "chat". With a reception such as Well the trend is continuing, the cuts from The Grapes of this, it is little wonder why The and although The Grapes of Wrath's newest album Now and Grapes seemed so aloof during Wrath have little to do with John Again like "All the Things I their performance. Their sobriety Steinbeck's novel about life in Wasn't" proving that the band is made even Sara McLachlan seem Okhlahoma during the Depres- more than just a slickly produced exciting in comparison. sion, they do know how to per- recording unit. Kane and Both Sara McLachlan and form onstage. A packed Hooper's vocals were impeccable The Grapes of Wrath are potent auditorium at U of W's but they stepped aside to let the forces in the newest wave of Ca- Humanities Theatre Wednesday audience carry the chorus of "So nadian music. Full of talent, ener- October 18th were eager to show Far Away". gy, and potential, we will surely their devotion to this band gain- The majority of the material be hearing big things from them ing a large following in Canada. The Grapes played was taken in the future. Performing with The Grapes from Now and Again with many But can they read? of Wrath was another rising force in Canadian music, Sara McLachlan. Calling upon a repertoire which included songs album Touch and delivery from her debut Cash on some new material, McLachlan CONTINUED FROM PAGE 13 mcnts between songs personalized the concert the audience was confirmed that This was Cash's last North American concert there to see her too. It was the opening band. Okay, so they did have before heading out to Europe. He won't be return- As a guitarist, pianist, and one good song, or was that the d.j.? We waited ing to Canada until the spring of 1990. As a result vocalist McLachlan excels but around for one hour listening to the opening band he made an effort to make this concert one of his she lacked stage prescence. Al- carry on and on and on....before Andrew Cash best. though her "perkiness" was ap- finally appeared. Cash played an equally exuberant finale after pealing, on-stage movement suf- It was evident from the start that Cash was well the crowd cheered him on. There was no of fered. lack worth the wait. The band was energetic and energetic running around, jumping, and falling enthusiastic throughout the whole concert. The Depite the attempts by the down that has become Cash's trademark. Even lighting and special effects were truly Stages (oh though the Photo: "dance police" to keep anyone concert was on a Monday night Andrew my god watch out for the tear gas). In order to get a Cash still commanded a full house and with good Liza from getting too excited, few choice photographs we had to beat away reason. McLachlan incited the whole numerous groupies who were showering the stage The concert was like a breath of fresh air in Sardl house up on their feet for the with long stemmed red, yellow and white roses. All today's world of prefab sounds and rehashed so- single "Vox". A brief standing of which were thoughtfully supplied by some sweet called classics which too often pollute our air- and ovation brought the band back for sixties byproduct (the flower lady). waves. Andrew is as genuine as Cash unlike many Corl a surprising encore of Peter Cash's distinctive voice along with the band's of his contemporaries who are as plastic as Visa. If Gabriel's "Salisbury Hill" and a bluesy/jazzy style made for a truly individual you missed him don't despair, it looks like Cash is reggae tinged version of Led Zep- sound. The band played strong and loud for almost here to stay. He's just recently been nominated for pelin's "You Don't Have To Go" an hour and a half as all of Stages seemed to vibrate a Casby and we certainly think he deserves one. Ferguson (I'm not sure if that's the name in unison. Andrew's whimsical and telling state- Best of Luck Andrew!! shooters I c HmTC„, MM IN OCTOBER rV Still only 1.99 + tax 65 University tuesdays Wednesdays Saturdays

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Monday 'M Includes , ONLY ■ESSIES^6I~LIVE E|BNm| _ J|i4 molson V Prizes lor DAYS Til I BBilMliaJ w"th 10R0H BIKINI s, bears BLACK CONTEST b e Christmas R.Uiffip T h P hi«f Tr>l VS c>jr Ist prize - trip ■ XI'TBW a ®t*L in BONE n 1 TO MEXICO!! The Cord Weekly 18Thursday October 26,1989 Roxy Music remembered on StreetLife guitars, to "Dance Away" with more experienced in the mid-seventies. Aerosmith recorded Pump with side / Or she's gonna get a dose of melody but still the harsh edge, to one intention: to create a down-to- my pride") and F.IN.E., an acronym "Avalon", full of orchestration, simu- earth rock album - unlike Permanent for Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic, lated wave sounds, and Ferry at his Vacation, which involved much mu- Emotional. Like all crooning best. And it all still sounds sical experimentation. They have good Aerosmith albums, fresh, juxtaposed as it is, so that you done just that. Pump has that same Pump does have at least one slow can hardly decide what phase is most ass kicking musical style of Rocks song, "What it Takes". It's not whin- appealing. and Toys in the Attic, but with an ing and syrupy like "Angel" but strongly reminiscent of their To anyone who has more than evolution that gives it a unique sound better, five or six Bryan Ferry or Roxy - as in "Love in an Elevator". earlier mellow tunes. "Jamie's Got a Gun" is another Music albums already, this compila- Lyrically, Pump has those sassy- favourite on the tion is no more than a convenience, frassy, nitty-gritty, lip-smacking, slower side. because there is nothing rare or ob- patti-whacking kind of lines that suit Pump is a monumental album in solete on it. It seems, however, that Steve Tyler so well - quick, witty, the Aerosmith tradition. A must for on the more recent tracks (from and sometimes sleezy: "Young Lust" rockers, hip dudes, and boppers. 1979-1985; there is nothing from ("you better keep your daughter in- -Tom Szeibel Bete Noire, Ferry's most recent a. bum), there has been some attempt at remixing. Two surprising inclusions on the 20 Hits An Ounce of Perception Street Life: Greatest collection are "A Hard Rain's A- Bryan Ferry/Roxy Music Gonna Fall" (by Bob Dylan) and WEA music "Jealous Guy" (by John Lennon). By Steve You'd think if you were going to do a Burke There is no disputing the fact that Greatest Hits you'd only include your A group ot rabbits huddle this man is a god. For the better part own songs. But Ferry is still able to Reflections: an afternoon at Waterloo Park, or together in secret of 20 years Ferry has been gelling his pull both of them off without looking an evening at the Turret? conversations...they all buy the same beer and hair, dancing strangely, inspiring like Tiffany. And, in their own way, scream Oktoberfest chants in perfect unison. It is bands and breaking hearts. they are just as good as the originals. The bear swings his slovenly body, shaking off mid July. Close and constant interbreeding in But the guy is getting on. Like so But who knows how many more sweat and stench. Parasitic bugs fly off the hair on residence has created serious mutations in their tiny many musical greats of our time, new albums the man's got time for? his back in a cloud of dust. He grunts and slobbers, gene pool, resulting in a virtual collapse of mental Bryan Ferry is pushing 50, so if you - moving his flank up to his shoulders...Dancing to faculties. want to appreciate his music before Sarah Welstead The to and it's on CKFM's "Looking Back" David Wilcox, he bumps into bystanders, creating deer chooses observe calmly un- Pump havoc and causing injury. Knocking another patron obtrusively from her corner, conscious of every show, you'd better start by getting Aerosmith this album. into the pile of broken bodies, he inquires of his glance at her perfect form...the fawn-eyed, frozen Geffen Records Of course, there isn't any new wide-eyed victim, "Yo, bud- problem?" tart notices the peacock approach to proposition a material on Street Life (except a new Listening to Pump, I am con- The peacock struts within his chosen domain, dance. Looking up with disgust, she responds "I mix of "Angel Eyes"), but as far as vinced that Aerosmith will never lose executing his mating ritual. Proudly displaying the don't think so", to which he maintains, "That's 0.k., being a comprehensive history of their touch. Since 1973 they've pro- bold colours...of his polo shirt, he ponders his I was going to go take a shit anyway". Bryan Ferry and Roxy Music's career duced several excellent albums, and Apollo-like physique. "The possibilities are end- For all its oddities and ideosyncracies, the little together, this album is complete. apparently their talent is yet to be ex- less", he reflects, "My looks are beginning to scare microcosm continues to function as a happy For fans of the group (or just of hausted. me". He admits to himself that he cannot maintain a society. Patrons leave in pairs, as ritual dictates, Bryan, icon for musical geniuses that They entered the 80's with inter- fruitful relationship due to the fact that he wears the through the door, across the back hallway, he is), this album is interesting in nal conflicts and expensive drug towards and requests of his partner showing the development of then- habits, but they'll end the decade french ticklers inside-out the stairs- and down the elevator shaft where they "Get musical style: from "Let's Stick To- with clean noses and a high point in as the sun comes up, out, you're starting to all meet their doom. gether" days of white suits and heavy their careers that rivals the one they stink".

w- the Author '™£ hru Meet r Saturday l KATE BUSH a m ,, Black _ Arthur 4 T „ T^^X author of THE SENSUAL WORLD

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Sponsored by the WLU Bookstore in the Concourse The Cord Weekly 19Thursday October 26,1989 An old legend, a new world, a new King

Conversation overheard on an "Damned French added that live!" "Well, not everyone has a or the Norse or your own rebel- Avalon hill September 7/1989 to the story. Faith, magician, you "Well, the French always sword-toting Faery who lives in- lious princes. I can't say as know that as well as I do." have had a low opinion of the side a rock for a father. Back to there's any country I can pick to "It looks like it's that time "You've got to admit, though, British imagination. Even when our return, though — where do start off in. Let's leave it up to again." that the French additions it's devoted to telling the truth. you think we should arrive this Fate to decide where you end up. "That it does, magician, that it were...inventive." And the bit with you pulling the time?" She's been kind to us before." does. Pass me an Ex, would "Inventive? You'd think Sig- sword out of the stone probably "You're going to have to unite "It won't be easy." you?" mund Freud had written my life was more believable than what a world, and the enemy will be a "No one ever said it would." "There you go. You'd think story, they were so bloody inven- really happened." lot less tangible than the Saxons "No. Anyway, while I'm they'd learn to work together growing to maturity, I think after 10,000 years of civilization, you'd best get the knights ready. wouldn't you. Although I must The overthrow of the corpora- admit they're getting better at it. tions and the salvation of the bio- Never seen so many blasted big sphere will need a bit of planning nations in my life." and, as you noted earlier, old "True enough, true enough. friend, that's your specialty." They're killing the Goddess, "Fine, fine. Oh, and I think though. They never seem to you'd better be a woman this learn." time." "Which is why we're needed "A woman?" again." "A woman. Lay to rest for "We? I thought you'd given once and all all this crap about up on this planet, at least." you being the ultimate embodi- "We immortals get to change ment of a man's world." our minds as often as we like. It's "And what about you?" in our contracts somewhere, I "My form is non-negotiable. think. Anyway, can't have you It's hard enough being the running around without someone Devil's rebellious son without who can think further ahead than mucking about with my gender as tomorrow's breakfast to back you well." up, now can we?" "Then it's set." "Tsk. And who, pray tell, "Yes. I'll miss this place." ended up trapped under a rock for "So will I. But I miss the a couple of hundred years be- other place too. At least there's cause he couldn't control his own risk there, something to ignite a balls?" sense of purpose." "Hmph. Luckily no one re- "Shall we be off then?" members that, eh. All anyone "Yeah. Just let me finish my ever talks about is you bedding beer." your sister. Or rather your sister bedding you."

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Pagan Ritual Leads to Career Moves

plastic Shoppers Drug Mart masks, because those, By Gord Hocking things are crying out "I love those jtagthigw4 candies in the orange wrappers", I mean making up your own costume. Even if it is Bat Man. \ Hallowe'en is quickly approaching, which The same goes for the Real World. In means finding a costume, carving a pumpkin, and get past the front door, one must dress up. I'm not getting inebriated at the Turret. A lot of time and talking about borrowing one of you dad's suits and effort is put in by everyone to ensure that their Hal- pretending the interviewer will never notice, I'm lowe'en will be unforgettable. Unfortunately, in the talking about getting a new suit for the occasion. excitement of the moment, people often forget the Not polyester, because your qualifications will true meaning of the occasion. (Sound familiar?) I'm mean squat in a polyester suit. Don't get mad at me, not just saying this about Hallowe'en, because a lot that's just the way it is. Some people say they of the "special days" and holidays celebrated in aren't "dressing up" when they wear suits, and wear Canada are done so without any knowledge of the them every day, even when there is no need to wear significance of the event. A comparable occasion one. Fine, I can go along with that. I think they're would be Easter. lying though. Just like people who tell you thejrlijce . Many people think Easter is the day when The being single. Liars. JIIJ lEasjer Bunny visits all the good children and gives Another thing kids learn trick-or-tre£g|M crit- ihemxhocolate Easter bunnies. Hardly. This image ical analysis and deduction. After one JjgPlffn ingenuity Biz- theif ipf Easter is the of a former Laurier own, kids know which houses to goJeiStd, jhob, Eddie Bunny, who persuaded candy manufac- ones to avoid. Someone who gave out'.'J&gpdf chips turers to market a product based on himself. It last year will probably not give out as a joke, really, but has grown to such started off this year, so smart kids return to the house with the popularity it has drowned out the religious sig- chips. Dumb kids go for the neighbour with the nificance of the day. Yes, believe it or not, Easter is apricots, hoping things have changed. Such drastic a religious holiday. A Christian holiday. changes seldom occur. The same is with the Real So as not to bore you, I will not go into detain about the significance of Easter, but will instead id. If a company has hired students in the past, give a brief outline on what happened on Easter it only makes sense that they might hire stu- weekend nearly two thousand years ago. Everybody > when your turn comes around. Find out what knows who Jesus is, I suppose. He's the only lgng-P :ompany looks for in its employees and take haired male old people like. According to legend, s courses, you might get a job-and a bag of Christ was crucified by the Romans for his beliefs. > to boot. Dumb graduates apply to the com- After he had died, his followers took his body down ;s that want experience with a degree and are from the cross, wrapped him in a shroud, purtffi#4p 3quently never hired. These are the grads who 't learn how life works when they a cave, and rolled a big stone across the cave's were kids,, hope I'm entrance. Every year, three days after the not painting a picture who knows the ins and outs sary of his death, his followers roll the stone a\yay., ' of mejgjipr-, ing The Job, because the from the cave, and if Jesus sees his shadow, tliW gets world doesmot work way. How many we have six more weeks of winter. O.K. O.K. I'm that times have you gorit to The House With The Chips, and kidding, but you see where I'm coming fro«/»The they're all out? Or you go through a whole neighbourhood same is with Hallowe'en. I houses off, even I Hallowe'en is held every year on the have their lights though air the OctoberJlT cars are in the driveway the are "thl eve of All Saint's Day. Any religious meaning and TVs onfaTKßhe rest of the houses have cheap candy? you get with Hallowe'en has long been lost in When Associated home, you you just wasted your night 'our modern, capitalist society. Today, little children feel like when you should have down street 'fun from door to door giving a trick in exchange for gone the other your kid brother up. You a treat with the goal of returning home with a bag with because he cleaned didn't know. Thai's it's full of candy. When you think about it, 20 pounds what like in the Real World. It's tough. There are good neighbourhoods of candy consumed in three days by a 65" poufiu Kid and not-so-good neighbourhoods. parents are does not sound like healthy Your hoping your experience trick-or-treating will help So why do parents accept, even piiwndte, lowe'en? Because Hallowe'en buildsxharacter and you differentiate between a good company and a prepares children for the Real World, bad company, unlike your older brother who only i \r£> viewed Hallowe'en as a chance to get When you reflect on your experience as a free candy, on Hallowe'en, and then try to imagine job hufftrfTg- and is still living at home with your parents onJjis when you graduate, you will see there are a lot of 28th birthday. His low paying job means he similarities. Parents realize this. The knocking afford to live on his own. door-to-door builds self-confidence. On your first Another thing kids learn trick-or-treating time out trick-or-treating, you probably went out itiative. Many kids who want to take initiative wheii. with your parents and they walked with you to % school don't because they're often accuseci\%f every front door you went to. After a year or two, Jkissing up to the teacher". When trick-or-treating, they may have walked with you, but stayed on the however, they are working for themselves. The sidewalk when you approached the house. By grade amount of candy they get is directly proportional to three or four, you went out with your friends while the number of hours they put in, and how fast they your parents stayed home. Only the class loser went run between houses.lt is often a kid's first under- out with his parents after grade five. This gradual standing on how capitalism works. This hands-on self-confidence will come in handy when the time< experience is vital in today's business world and comes to knock on the Real Doors. should be included on everybody's resume. Self confidence is not the only quality people Lastly, there isn't a kid I know who hasn't learn when trick-or treating. Any kid will tell you knocked on a door on Hallowe'en night hoping to that if you can get inside the door, instead of stand- get a candy, and is given a toothbrush instead. Most ing on the driveway, you have a better chance of kids feel like the person should put a sign on their getting two chocolate bars instead of one. Or a door saying "We give out toothbrushes, not candy", chocolate bar instead of a handful of those awful so as not to waste anybody's valuable time. Itjii»k_ candies in the orange wrappers that nobody eats. most kids realize in retrospect that those "fioliseS The same goes in the Real World. In order to get were doing them a favour even if it wasn't exacdy the best job instead of the one that nobody wants, what they had hoped for. The closest ypu have to get past the front door. The best way to the Real World is a Letter of Reference. past the front door is to impress The Person would rather have a job over a Letter rding The Front Door. As a child, this means any day. This does not mean the Letter k m on something which you wouldn't normally though. If used as directed, it might be the ragyw ;%'egr, with the hopes that it might help you get in ning of a bright and shining career. If negledte&Hf" the front door. I'm not talking about those cheap could leave a bad taste in your mouth. The Cord Weekly 21 Thursday October 26,1989 THE INNU

By Marc Brzustowski feet of low-level flights in the following terms: poisoned: the animals and the fish are dying..." The Imprint "these military maneuvers are destroying a whole Though it could come to no opinion on their people and their way Of life." ecological effects, the IFHR report noted that When the Innu family speaks on campus next At the request of the Innu and the Assembly of "overflights would discharge thousands of tons of week, they will come as ambassadors of a nation First Nations, a mission of die International Feder- exhaust fumes which are released at an altitude that under siege, as representatives of a culture teetering ation of Human Right (IFHR) went to Labrador and if too low to fee diffused in the atmosphere, will on the brink of existence. Low-level military flying Quebec's North Shore, in May 1986 to investigate. leave deposits on the soil, water and vegetation." and Canadian government plans for a NATO war This land is home to the largest caribou herd in training base in their homeland of Nitassinan are North America, forming the basis of Innu culture. the latest and most threatening assaults leveled at Innu concern with the noise level of the flights Innu culture since the Sec&nd World War. is well founded. According to the United Nations On Thursday November 2 at 1:00 pm, Siegfried World Health Organization, physical damage to the Hall of St. Jerome's College will be the forum for car is risked when exposure to sound levels over this family's testimon\f;to the effects of militariza- 140 dBA occurs. Military aircraft flying out of tion and development on their way of life. In short, Goose Bay cause noise pulses that rise 40 dBA in the effects of white colonization on the original in- half a second and have peaks exceeding 140 dBA habitants of what is now called Labrador-Quebec. when flying at or below 30 metres above the The Innu have led a hunter-gatherer life in ground. Innu hunters have reported having their Nitassinan for centuries. Archaeological findings camps flown over more than 25 times in one day. date their culture back at least nine thousand years. The US Environmental Protection Agency has But only in the past five decades have the Innu identified the effects of high noise levels on human come under the overwhelming effect of Canadian beings as birth defects, stress-related diseases in- culture, and that effect has been negative. cluding ulcers, asthma, and colitis. There is also a Never having ceded their rights over Nitassinan higher susceptibility to disease through lowered to any government by treaty or agreement, the Innu resistance caused by the fatigue effects of noise ex- properly call Nitassinan their land. posure. Furthermore, the Innu arc victims of the In 1941 the American military constructed an "startle reaction" to the noise pulse of the jets, an air base in Goose Bay, Labrador which housed ap- involuntary reaction whose repetition leads to long proximately 12 000 military personnel. After the The IFHR is an independent non-governmental hu- term deterioration in mental and physical health. war, non-native activity in Nitassinan escalated man rights organization accredited with the UN, rapidly. Communities of white settlers developed as UNESCO and the European council. The IFHR the Newfoundland and Canadian governments sold mission had nearly 30 separate meetings with Innu to Canadian and American interest mining and log- leaders, Goose Bay Base commanders, DND offi- ging rights to Nitassinan. In 1971 construction cials in Ottawa, Labrador Chamber of Commerce War testing essential ended on the hydro-electric complex at Churchill executives, Federal and Provincial administrators, Falls. The Innu opposed it because of the con- educators, doctors and clergy in Labrador. sequent flooding of large parts of the land upon The mission concluded in its December 1986 which their survival depended. report "certain internationally recognized natu- that Arguments in support of the NATO base and ral and legal human rights of the Innu Labrador in war testing over Nitassinan tend to be of two sorts: and Quebec are being violated." the first justify the militarization on an economic "The actual military training constitutes an in- basis, the second paint the war testing as essential "Deep Strike" training fringement upon the fundamental rights of individ- to the survival of the free world. uals. It also constitutes an infringement upon the A ten year agreement signed between Canada, collective rights of the Innu people making their the US, the UK and West Germany in 1986, traditional activities which are intrinsically linked The use of over 80 OQO square kilometres of promises access to the testing ranges, independent to very pursue." Nitassinan as low-level military flying and bomb- their existence difficult to of any possible NAtO base. In spite of the FEARO to injunction ing ranges began in 1989-1981, War planes of the The Innu are now set launch an in panel which is to determine whether such activities Federal Court the British, Dutch, German, Canadian and American - the of Canada to stop NATO base can be allowed to continue, the agreement was now possibly the Italian -air forces use Nitassinan and current low-level flying, protest which hill hailed by then Associate Minister of Defense, Har- on-going flights began, to to train for "Deep Strike"* part of NATO's first been since the include vie Andre, as a great development "for the present strike nuclear war fighting policy. The site is also acts of non-violent resistance. and future economic stability of Goose Bay." used for practicing "surgical strikes" which are Not surprisingly, the Canadian military takes an For this economic stability to include the Innu, geared for Third World intervention. The planes fly altogether different view of the situation. When, in their way of life, their culture, their existence as a as Iqw as 30 metres above the ground. contrast to their NATO base bid ("enormous areas people must be forfeited to make way for wage- In 1984 the Canadian government volunteered of unused airspace and territory"), military officials paying jobs servicing the institution that forced lnnu land for the NATO Tactical Fighter Weapons admit to the very fact of Innu existence, they arc them off the land they once called theirs. Training Centre. They since spent at least $90 mil- quick to deny the Innu's protest any credence. Lt Colonel J.M. Scott, Goose Bay Base Com- lion upgrading the base and its facilities. Once the Government officials from the Department of Ex- mander said, "that to ensure the safety of our NATO base is established in Goose Bay the num- ternal Affairs have accused the Innu of exploiting citizens, including the Innu People, our air forces ber of low-level flights will rise from 8 000 per the low-level flying issue to advance their land and those of our allies must be allowed to regularly year to 40 000. NATO will also use another 30 000 claims. conduct low level flying training. Our use of this air square kilometres of Nitassinan for nine bombing The environmental evaluation dismissed the space allows us to make a significant contribution ranges. In spite of a Canadian Public Health Asso- problem of fighter exhaust saying that the "levels to the defense of our freedoms and way of life." ciation recommendation that no new military ac- [of air pollution] are considered very mild by emis- Bart Jack at a bail hearing for those Innu ar- tivity be allowed, the Department of National sion standards." Newfoundland Tory MP John rested during an occupation of the run ways at the Defense (DND) began air-to-air combat training Crosbic, addressing a group of NATO ambassadors Goose Bay base, countered that "We Innu have this spring. in Goose Bay in 1986, belittled the Innu claim. He acted and protested in the cause of the safety of not Canada's proposal for the NATO base, which said that low-level flight noises and sonic booms only the Innu people, bui of the whole world ~ and boasts "enormous areas of unused airspace and ter- were not harmful and contended that jet noise was we call again for our homeland, Nitassinan, to be ritory," fails to note that the territory is already no worse than that of Sony Walkmans. freed of this military presence." being used. For centuries the lnnu have lived off The Innu tell a different story, and the IFHR But according to DND officials, low-level train- this land and to claim that the territory is "unused" report makes some very different observations. ing is "the defense of our freedoms and way of life, is to lie. Regarding exhaust emissions from the low-level including yours." This assault on health, on the en- The Assembly of First Nations passed in 1985 a flights, Innu hunters such as Etienne Bellefleur, of vironment, and on a people itself is carried out "to resolution to "do whatever is necessary and pos- Unemeinshipit, state that "there is some kind of ensure the safety of our citizens, including the Innu sible to have the Canadian Government cease the pollution in the exhaust of these planes from the People." The benefits of militarization are stagger- low-level flights. The resolution described the ef- north. The sand on the beaches of the lakes is ing. COMETH CLASSIFIEDS CLASSIFIEDS CLASSIFIEDS CLASSIFIEDS CLASSIFIEDS

Need a D ? A of »_ -J- H types music • : Innu (Natives from C Ho|_ lir OiS gr ->:||§§ll| Labrador) ' 'or all ArmmmaHntinns Mldf# l/VaXH€r(l/ occasions: weddings, EyOljOjOw will show slides on low-level lest banquets, dances ■ and floor P|*nfM«ilin nying and Prescnt their reasons Volunteers 1 \ * parties. Excellent rates!!! for opposing it, Wed. Nov. lat L ••••••• —/ vJ —" >. — Call Anoushka at 884-2078 •■■■■■ ■ S 7:3opm at Trinity United Church Live on the Beaches in T.0.! " 74 Frederick St. Kitchener. Info parking, deck, C,F F: RePeat creed - the Clean, new, B-B-Q A BIG ejejer? ran 85 CENTS Double Spaced Page, in concourse from Oct 23-26, BE 743. F' - and more. 24 hour TTC to standards we have but no Essays, reports typed. Fast tickets are $3. 5206 today ' downtown. $450 available Jan morals. efficient ervice. Letters I

~ '90. Call Vicki (416) 699-0304 spring BREAK 1990' resumes, theses also done. New course Drama #491A. The

after6:(X ' """- dividual or sendent organization E'b Ph °ne 886 w ™eatfe facMta P Happy 20th Edc! ROOMMATE NEEDED: Four free Children's theatre play sripts are cool dudes need a roommate WORDS FOR MONEY: examined and evaluated in tr j ps an(j work • i a valuable *'* Morrison-Smith & (male/female) immediately until exnerience APPLY NOW' Call W. Where Professional document workshop situation. Wed. Fri. Jason - you? Call at 747-2029. April 30/90. One minute walk to inter-Campus Programs 1-800- processing. Telephone 742-4315 from 3:30-5:00. Instructor: C.D. campus; $250 + utilities for large 327-6013 after 6:00 p.m. for more Abel. Pre-requisite: Drama 102 single bedroom. Call 725-0723 P.C.B club's Annual Hallowe'en information. OR permission. and ask for one of the Marshall Bash, October 31st at 7 pm in the Manor Boys! Volunteers are needed at K-W faculty lounge. No cover with WORD PROCESSING: fast, Kin-Lalat: Music from Access-Ability to regularly membership and cash bar. Dress accurate, will make spelling Guatemala, Sat. Oct. 28th at ONE ROOM for rent schedule programmes, assist with UP y° ur favourite Mad minor grammar corrections/ 'i:oopm at the Rockway immediately. $199 for first bi-monthly and fund raising Scientist! (English grad). Laser printer. Call Mennonite Collegiate 110 Doon

~ month. Great Landlords. 5 minute bingos. If interested please call ; ; Suzanne at 886-3857. Rd. Kitchener. $7 in advance. car ride from WLU. Call 747- Chris at 885-6640 between 9& 5. Looking to get more involved in 2029. campus club life? Are you IMPROVE YOUR GRADE! energetic — Volunteers needed to establish creative, and outgoing? jop quality typing, grammar and !'• y° u enjoy ne Call 747- ; one-on-one relationships with spelling corrected, sentences AltlCleS children and help build the 2918 and ask for Sandra, lor smoothed. University area - 885- more information on executive - ■■ St. ■**'' ** 1 child's self-esteem and 5952. Jacob's 664-3374. ISiIiaUSU "OF .fiWIMN • confidence. Call FRIENDS 742- positions. "• * •• •••" — v: • "-:J 4380. : TYPING OF ALL KINDS. I AMATEUR FEMALE singer Reasonable rates. „ Call 578-0961. SAYcav YOUvn SAWCAi«7 vaiidYOUR looking for amateur guitarist, PICTURE in the Cord? Come r bassist and drummer to start THE CLERICAL P°cus y°ur Career workshop, and buy °- up to our offices it! - | SERIOUS band. Style of Zep, ADVANTAGE: 742-0657. Word Friday Nov 3rd from 10:0 cents ■ Small -25 Medium -50 U2, Doors, Who etc. If you feel processing, resumes, application 11:30am in room 5-304. cents, - Ask tor Large 3>1.00. V- 7.• J that the music industry needs an letters, essays, reports, printing Everyone is welcome. * a * INJECTION call Shannon . , 884- flyers,flvers signs,'cardsbanners, cards. 1172. INTE RVIEW SKILLS' LAURIER LEATHER Jacket: & PRACTICAL JOKES gags. TYPING Professional Word WORKSHOP: Monday Oct. used, Hons. Bus. '91, size 42, We have everything from fake WATERBUFFALO TRIVIA: Processing. Reasonable rates. 30th from 6:30-8:00pm in room good condition. Call Brian at to 2E6-2. dog doo rubber chickens. Hand The name of Fred's crazy uncle. Call Heather @ 888-6417. 885-5183. buzzers and Laughing bags, Gifts (Not uncle Tex). Answer in next — and Novelties, 41 King St. N. in weeks Cord. Last weeks answer: TYPING SERVICE. EMPLOYER INFORMATION FOR SALE: complete double Uptown Waterloo or 150 King St. Princestone. Reasonable rates. Call 748-9635. SESSIONS: Campbell Soup: bed, 2 years old. $120 or best jn downtown Kitchener, 745- Monday Oct. 30th from 10:00- offer. 888-0022 7 976 NEEDED: Bass player for jazz WORDS: Professional Typin 11:30am in the Paul Martin combo. Experience would be nice Services offered 7 days/week. Centre. " but give us a call r -V '1* anyway. Call Work guaranteed. Call 746-6746. yPEN PALS for North Americans. Mac 885-1929. P/U and delivery available. SPECIAL EVENTS: Careers for Nll|i: Send self-addressed stamped Psychology Majors on Monday . *V1 envelope for details. Pen Pals HaPP>' Birthday Mona!!! We Oct. 30th from 5:30-6:3opm in ho e y° an absolutely room _! r Unlimited, Box 6261, Station P u have W*?Mf'fyg||\ 3-201. AWESOME day! Remember... TOYOTA TERCEL 1981 SRS 'D', Calgary, Alberta T2P 2CB. g||:;§;IJDC t today is your day we better not Hatchback, 5-speed,'beige', ' Inter view Skill workshop, FM catch you studying. Luv B2 cassette, new clutch, some rust What if Vm pregnant? Can I Thursday Nov. 2nd at 10:00- conraa - J around wheelwells Perfect continue in school? Where can I 11:30am in room 4-110. obtain g°od medical care? Call —— ~~ Everyone is welcome. student car. $1000 negotiable. NORTH RAY . T 7 TT,, 7— - NORTH BAY. I need a ride!! s Phone Nasci 1-416-298-9605 Birthright 579-3990. Modern Electrics, Toronto Any weekend, leaving Thursday premiere new music ensemble at FOCUS ON YOUR CAREER:i or Friday. I'll pay going rates and FORD' TEMPO GL 1984 in the Princess Cinema, 6 Princess workshop on Tuesday Oct. 31st bake brownies for the trip. Phone excellent condition. Call Joanne THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK St. W. November 3, 1989 at 'rom 10:00-11:30am in room 4- at at 746-7460. is coming soon. Sherri 746-5041. 8:00pm. '10.

1 WHAT IS ? what are the Will "life ik) hell" |i x TI I "TTV T "life IN ' \ - '> TH6wes OF OFFEND I IH lH * A( —-X /- N\fc? ? . . I is I I I II l\ \ I id H£uu" aA or tome/OtioO Y TH'S CAR-ToonJ 5 * * -*—+- J"LiF£ Jto * * 1 J* WW (cure uTTue comic ; au&oatimJ. l r\C\ /WViN I a

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v / WHO: Stab, of this csetooO. RP&eiT oiO-the-60. e. / uJHO: who: o toi/f«r, WHO: »>o out etAui tA££s". V f PI STikJOU iSMIhJG FetfTOdßS: PIStiMGoiSHmC, F£*ToßfcJ: OR Roth.' Di ST ISH i»)& FfAToefS: Two evL&i) glutei ,;[?£«& D ST>>o GotS HiM 6 FEATJI}£{; Jc teoTesQut 6«es SAWAILI, TAKE R I Both faO£SS. .0 6165, CO-iTA»iT StATP P£zits. ties o*J # EMoTIniJAL ■ STAT £: EKOTIOOAL STATE : g.rvtft, DePßttsep uoeMAL. Occas iOiJali-I $T£AM6[J, EMrfTiftiJAt SW£: irtSyfrfTAßLE. SOotLcneo. O. UJILL THE. CHARACTERS tM "LIFE Ikl HEll" EVER ACHIEVE mPPiMESS? (c) HYY -J R\o -°- /)/? jStf mwi s)| jh 1 « C gHOL9{I9{§ U®S— § # #- \AJHAT fi I SILLV3 QO&STIOtQ' 6A>O& WH,u &£ C\S AS °)50 Ae£. The Cord Weekly 23 Thursday October 26,1989 SPORTS Season ends on Blue note for Grid Hawks By Chris Starkey lead. Astrom came on for the season- and all-time field goal leader this season: 106 yards rushing Cord Weekly "Patrick played well consider- ending stroke. Steve Rainey dropped in on the and 116 passing...Smalling's 116 ing the situation he was put in," The Blues finished second game. Could have used his Karen yards passing almost matched the The most humane thing to do said offensive co-ordinator Tom with a 5-2 record, and host the 5- Kain shoe these past few output of the past three games with a dying horse is to shoot it. Arnott. "But that doesn't mean 2 Guelph Gryphons next Saturday games...the Hawks had a and his 50% completion rate was that our passing game was that in one semi-final while regular balanced attack for the first time bettered only in the York game. In this case the bullet flew 27 strong...it was still limited." yards from the foot of U of T Smalling was 10 for 20 without kicker Andrew Astrom, and when an interception. it shot through the uprights with A 36-yard single by Dave 22 seconds to go in last Satur- Brownrigg closed out the first day's 14-12 loss, so too were shot half scoring and the rookie kicker the playoff hopes of the WLU cut the lead to 11-4 early in the Golden Hawks. 3rd quarter with a 20-yard trey. The Hawks' 1989 season The field goal was set up by a record dropped to 3-4. None of Ron Van Moerkerke interception. the current players know what a The Hawks' passing game be- losing season is like. It is the first gan to click, and in the fourth time since 1984 that WLU has quarter, they got the break they had a losing record and you have needed. Brownrigg was called to go back that far to find a Hawk upon to boot a 36-yarder but team with a three-game losing holder Smalling and tailback- streak. turned-slotback Adam Smith The outcome ended up being hooked up on a fake that took the unimportant ,with victories by ball down to the Toronto 5-yard Western and Waterloo, but coach line. Tom Arnott said that "a loss is a On second down, a Toronto loss". penalty gave the Hawks a first "The game we're playing is down at the 3. Tailback Andy the most important," said Arnott. Cecchini busted through for the For most of the game, it three most important of his 75 looked as though the stoppable yards to make it 11-10Toronto. force had met the immovable ob- Knowing that a tie would do ject, as both defences kept first WLU no good, the coaching staff downs and yardage to a mini- tried for the two-point conver- mum. Astrom had kicked a field sion. The initial try from the 5 goal and a single in the first half was whistled down as slotback to give the Blues a 4-0 lead when Doug Reid drew an interference All wrapped and no where to go Fullback PJ Martin carries for Laurier but is about to be a crucial turnover besieged the call. Rookie fullback PJ. Martin brought down by a Blues defender in a disappointing loss for the Hawks. Hawks. rumbled in from the 2 1/2 for the season champ Western (6-1) face WLU quarterback Pat Small- two-points and Laurier had the the upstart Waterloo Warriors (4- ing, starting the game instead of lead for the first time in the 3) in London for the right to ad- the demoted lan Mackenzie, had game... 12-11 with time running vance to the OUAA Yates Cup Ruggers finish first the wet ball slip out of his hand out. championship. while attempting a pass. The With 1:30 to go, the Blues Laurier finished tied for fifth Scarborough sophomore jumped converted a 3rd and 5 situation on with the 3-4 Lancers. on the loose ball, but it squibbed the Laurier 45 that gave them a in Tier Two circuit out on the from beneath him. Blues' first down 30, well within Hawk Droppings...for a Alexander Patinios rookie linebacker Lou Astrom's A of Tiro range. couple Homecoming Game, the U of T Special to the Cord picked up the bouncing pigskin handoffs to OUAA rushing title crowd was pitiful. Laurier gets In a must win situation, the Rugby Hawks and ran it all the way into the winner Lome King, who finished more people out for pre-season defeated Trent Univer- sity in the last game of the regular season. The victory gives Laurier endzone to give the Blues an 11-0 with a game-high 98 yards, and games in the rain...1988 graduate first place in the OUAA Tier II division with a 6-1 record, and one point ahead of the RMC powerhouse. The Hawks now go on to post season play for the first time in their short history. The playing conditions were at best horrendous for Trent-Laurier tilt in Peterborough on the weekend with rain and mud limiting the Hawks wide open style of rugby. The Hawks pressed early in the game not allowing Trent good field position. Dan Howe scored late in the first half giving Laurier the opening try of the game for a 4-0 lead. By the second half the Hawks seemed to adjust to the wet weather. The forwards were solid, winning most of the set pieces and stealing a few from the Trent side. Jamie Dol used his power to rum- ble in from two yards out for Laurier's second try. Backs Rob Velestruk and Jason Trembly added trys along with lan Allison who rounded out the scoring for a 22-0 rout of the home team. The club team had much more favourable weather conditions for the second game of the day as they were victorious as well holding the home side pointless by the same 22-0 score to go 7-0 for an un- defeated 7-0 record. Tony Hymers, Steve Cadogan and Gereth Jones had trys for the Hawks. The club team now faces McMaster in the finals of the OUAA club team championships on Sunday November 4. The Varsity Rugby Hawks earned the right to advance to the OUAA semi-finals and will go up against first division champions Waterloo Warriors in Laurier's first post season play at Columbia Field. Lxtra Points: With both teams advancing to post season play it Down and dirty It was a muddy finale for the Footbal Hawks last weekend in Toronto as they were marks the first time where a university will field a varsity and club dumped squad. 14-12 by the U of T Blues. This goalline shot typified the kind of day it was for both sides on the Incredibly, the Hawks finish with a 142-49 points for and t field. against margin. | The Cord Weekly 24 Thursday October 26,1989 Booker paces WLU runners for Invitational victory

Special to Cord and the results were very en- Booker who finished with a win- runner leaving them helpless in gether for an even better team fin- couraging. Laurier upset pre- ning time of 26 minutes and 8 his wake. Coach Koenig was ish and follow Mechlers leader- The 10th annual Wilfrid viously number 8 nationally seconds. Booker jockeycd with U pleased with Wellstead's ship. Laurier invitational cross country ranked McMaster and finished of T's Bob Hooper in the early turnaround. Ever improving, sprinter meet was held this past weekend 5th overall behind the #2 nation- stages of the race but got down to The team's third runner and Kevin Schilling, who is running at Bechtel Park under cold and ally ranked U of T. serious business at the 6 km mark #1 runner from last year, Roland cross country to prepare for the soggy conditions. The meet has The 8 km course was won by leaving Hooper helpless. Hooper Mechler placed 43rd. Mechler indoor sprint season was not far been growing in popularity and Twin City Athletics Club member had to settle for 2nd place finish- was disappointed with his race behind in 61st spot. athletes and coaches have praised Claire Hamilton. Hamilton a ing 7 seconds behind Booker. but, the 4th year political science Coach Koenig feels that this the course conditions and its or- member of Jamaica's world cross Taking the second spot on the student has a history of producing may be the year that the team will ganization. The meet is popular country and commonwealth team was Adam Wellstead who when its needed. Newcomer crack the top 10 for the first time because it determines team selec- teams annihilated the field and finally finished his first race of Brian Gledhill finished just be- in Laurier history. tions for many university squads. won by a margin of 20 seconds the season in 12th place with a hind Mechler in 50th spot. Greg Hawks notes: Laurier alumni This was the case with the Hawks over ex-Queen's stand out and time of 27 minutes and 34 sec- Faiczak, veteran Dave Elliot, and put in a strong performance this as only one runner Mike Booker, one of Canada's most formidable onds; this after 2 weeks of intense Francis Bilodeau finished 53rd, weekend. Paul Self, BBA, 1989 had been preselected. This milers, Dave Mather. preparation. After a conservative 54th, and 59th respectively. At placed 9th overall and Wayne marked the first time the entire The university section was start, Wellstead initiated a series the OUAA meet it is hoped that Riley, BA, 1989 placed 16th team was assembled for action captured by Laurier's own Mike of surges and passed runner after the three will be able to work to- overall.

FLAG RAIDERS INC.I know volleyball game or you can just 667 Hamilton ST v *know you are out there, I it! women's A watch hunks run -ip and down the court CAMBRIDGE ONT A I know there are young, aspiring and A NOT JUST A GAME.... N3H 3E3 I A enthusiastic people out in WLU land in tight shorts, hey there is all of that and V CALL (519) 653-3322 Ywho are dying to find out what the heck more!!!!! Parties galore and free food on v ==n V sports writing is all about. Tuesdays, what more could a person ask You read the sports page everyday for ? Well not much more I am sure, so IA A'cause you love sports. You were once am encouraging you from the bottom ofA upcoming star in hockey or football my heart, writing sports is great !!!! and\ "' US som (1 you can do it too!!!!! S°^ | ®^ D SPOR'TS'SECTION!M!!!!!!!!!

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Madden Breckles Bryer Choma Cecchini VanMoerkerke

By Chris Starkey games. Considering the success played miserably and still got the up the tackles he may have hoped returns, interceptions, tackles and Cord Weekly of the defence, both of these guys nod. First-time all-star guard Bill to be in on. Some may look upon was even the backup punter to lan can't be ignored by the all- Bryer was truly one of the 1989 as an off season for him, but Mackenzie. Wilson let few balls The OUAA football all-star Canadian committee. Flip a coin Hawks' unsung heroes of the he's there because of his leader- get by him after the Mac game team was released yesterday, and to see who's on first and what's team this year, and showed that ship, too. and he was the Hawks' most despite a sub-par season, the on second (team). he belongs in timely interception threat. the company of his Clive Tharby had a career Golden Gridders have placed six Despite playing in Madden's All four of the offensive stars stablemates. Look for one of the year and would have made first players on the first team and five big make least second shadow most of the year, Com- were selected to the first team. guys to at team if not for the plethora of on the second team. Seven of the team all-Canadian, and give pagnon benefited by playing with eleven come from the Hawks' Running back Andy Cecchini was good outside linebackers In the Brampton Billy. With Madden honoured with a first team selec- Breckles the edge because of his OUAA this year. The guy was in vaunted defensive corps. on-field leadership. getting double-teamed, Com- tion as he finished second to on tackles, either first or second pagnon had at worst one-on-one Toronto's Lome King for the The second team OUAA in sacks, and nailed punt returners end Bill Madden coverage and was able to pressure Defensive rushing title (and if not for the defensive squad reads like a like they were tackling dummies. linebacker Ron Van opposing QB's and haul down and inside neck injury against Guelph may WLU roster, with five of the And the name...Clive Tharby. Moerkerke were awarded spots would-be rushers. He grabbed the have won that). spots going to Hawks. Lineback- Must be one of the best football on first team. Madden's name chance the Jon Graffi and Clive Tharby, names in the country. to shine and turned it into the Three-fifths of WLU's experi- ers wasn't broadcast over loud- defensive backs John Tavares and a well-earned all-star selection. enced offensive line were Throw out McMaster speaker as much as last year but Tony Wilson and lineman Dan the The CIAU all-star team will the pollsters he has selected. Tackle Mike Choma and game (when it looked as though be realized that Compagnon were all selected for announced during Vanier Cup in centre Brian Breckles (both pre- be been double-teamed most their efforts in 1989. the DB's would WLU's week at a special luncheon. My games. Van Moerkerke has been vious first-teamers) had good Achilles heel) and Tavares and guess is that there will probably WLU's most consistent player years following their CFL tryouts Teams seemed to run their of- Wilson would be on the first be two invitations (three if we're this year, and came up with stel- but because they've been there fences away from Graffi this team. Tavares was Mr. Every- lucky) marked "attention WLU lar performances in the big before, I think they could have year, and he wasn't able to rack thing, punt returning, kickoff football". Soccer Hawks need more scoring for playoff success By Stephan Latour Despite the opposition being a The poor Rams faced a young down the lett alley then chipping and set to go. Yet after 90 Cord Weekly mere decoration to the field, there corps of Hawks with five of them it over the defense to a waiting minutes one might easily con- Ryerson 0 Laurier 5 was little doubt in Lyon's mind seeing their first action of the Ben Cameron who corralled the clude that their performance was Last Saturday Coach Barry they would get past the Rams. In year. The hard-working Steve pass, making no mistake putting worthy of a minor soccer team. Lyon took his squad down the the end coach Lyon was simply Howard started things on the the ball into the net. Ten minutes Perhaps it could be said that some 401 to face the lowly Rams. satisfied. right foot making a brilliant run later Howard was the play maker player's minds were on the again for the second goal. A long KDSL final rather than on the throw in found a wide open game at ■ ■ ■ hand. PREVATA ENZO ANGIOLINI UNISA NICKELS Damien Clamp who finished the Laurier dominated the first play slipping the ball under the half with a strong performance by Ram keeper's reach. Darin Thompson. A stand out at In the second half, the young his position at fullback, Thomp- Hawks continued to show their son created numerous op- spirit for coach Lyon. They portunities for the Hawks. In the lacked finish but showed plenty middle, Lyndon Hooper's mid- of enthusiasm. Center-forward field magic went for not as he Ben Umpleby, scored his first was left stranded with little help goal in the Laurier jersey with a from his mates. hard shot from 20 yards out. The lethal blow to the Hawks Minutes later, he found the came in the 58th minute of play. range again. This time, Damien Defender Mike Cheravety at- Clamp started the play with a tempted a pass back to keeper splendid run down the left, Mark Cylwa but, unfortunately, crossed the ball hard into the mid- his five yard pass didn't reach dle, where Umpleby connected Cylwa who was 20 yards away. for his second goal. This proved to be the perfect op- The last goal proved to be a portunity for a Guelph forward graphic lesson in shooting, who intercepted the pass and con- courtesy of stopper Tom Veg- nected for the goal. 1-0 final for valka. Having controlled the ball the Gryphons. at center, he advanced towards After the game, Lyon was left the Ram net. With little chal- to do some soul searching with lenge, he exploited the defensive the team. He certainly has a very |j^m|DOLonr lapse with a rocket from 25 yards capable and line-up talented but out which roared passed the Ram the talent seems to be on paper keeper. only. Coach Lyon was seemingly Lyon mentioned that " it content from the performance of doesn't matter who we play be- his Lads. "No one let us down, cause if we don't beat them we and they certainly played well." don't deserve to go on." If the y spark that was once seen on the import pitch outlet Sunday Oct. the past, can be l 22, Guelph in (V jr 1 turned V "CLEARANCE CENTRE J Laurier 0 into a flame it could mean anoth- Coach er CIAU's top soccer KfHG & ONTARIO ST. LOCATION O Lyon went into the bid for the 5 match full of confidence, but left trophy. However, the opposition BANDOLINO ■ ESPR\T* ■ somewhat confused. The starting looks more like a fire ex- a JM*OIrEEJ\JNS line up was back, nicely rested tinguisher than a ladder. The Cord Weekly 26 Thursday October 26,1989

1990 NSERC UNDERGRADUATE SUMMER RESEARCH SCHOLARSHIPS at the UNIVERSITY OF OTTAWA

For students who foresee a career in research, the Summer Research Scholarships will AL™ERS! provide research experience with leading Canadian scientific investigators in one of the fields listed below. The UNIVERSITY OF OTTAWA is Canada's oldest and largest bilingual university. The WLU Student publications needs YOU to keep our campus is within a 10-minute walk to Parliament Hill, the National Arts Centre, the National Gallery and the National Museums. Come and experience an enlightening and stimulating summer at the UNIVERSITY OF OTTAWA. VALUE: $1,200 (minimum) per month, plus PARTICIPATING DEPARTMENTS

Travel allowance. r> u ■ . nu , line, Biochemistry Physical Geography computers line and on DURATION: 3-4 months (May-August 1990) in Biology Geology HOUSING: Reasonable on-campus Chemistry Kinanthropology accommodation if you want. Computer Science Mathematics

REQUIREMENTS: — Must be Canadian or ENGINEERING Microbiology Permanent Resident. Chemical Physics DO YOU CRAVE POWER? — Must have excellent Civil Experimental academic standing. Electrical Psychology

— Must be a full-time student Mechanical Systems Science M at the undergraduate level. (Priority will be given to 3rd-year students (2nd year in some programs in Quebec) APPLICATION PROCEDURE: 1. Complete PARTS 1 and 2of NSERC FORM 202. normally available at your campus. a a and recent university transcript. We also need complete yearbook editor. 2. Add 3. Attach a brief description of your research interests. 4. Transmit all documents with a pre-addressed, pre-stamped envelope to your re- commending professor who must complete NSERC form 202 PART 3 and must forward your application to our office. The application must be forwarded before NOVEMBER 17, 1989 to: A SUMMER IN OTTAWA 'r ML School of Graduate Studies and Research .i, If you think you can Grok the job of Sytems Technician k UNIVERSITY OF OTTAWA rot 115 Seraphin Marion, Room 205, Jfßy or Keystone Yearbook Editor, grab an application up in Information: (613) 564-6546 the CORD offices, Positions close Friday, NOV, 10, (Bronson would do it!)

1 Ijji] jI] I I j| 1 rrsr—| En- and the I TO NETWORK" I re- An I WED, NOVEMBER 1, 1989 I to is Corre- In sure By $25.00 Central. fl 7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. I Booth Form make I PAUL MARTIN CENTRE I Seem ;value this!!!!!!! so WLUSU I All students are invited to spend I Never Request in read I an informal Wine and Cheese I Yearbooka Cash to receipt, Important This or Phone# I evening with WLU Alumni from I That have your I a wide variety of educational and I g»iM;m>f»KraMgfTainwall^ Us All i Order Place Cheque mailbox i.d.# be I career backgrounds. I of The a correct. Come out and discuss the ■ different I Now legibly, will is Till ■ career paths I Those can With Yearbook print Student card write ■ taken by Alumni and do some I Money the i.d. you ■ "networking'' I For You Along to Name ■ at the same time. I it Full please jjCorrect |J llyour I Presented by I gjH jmijlerjclgped,BjMidence. jvej|pe, Jft [number your jbrjjjg | ! , T i I I[ J i M^W^^Alumn^AssociaHar^^W The Cord Weekly 27 Thursday October 26, 1989 Hawkey Hawks prepared Hawkstheofweek for upcoming season Forwards: Can a team have too should provide Guy Carbonneau- By Leo Monahan many goal scorers? The big line like benefits. Cord Weekly is led by last year's point leader Outlook: The Hockey News Another Hawkey season Greg Puhalski, with sniper Mike ranks Laurier to finish in the top opened last Friday in London Maurice and workhorse Brent spot in the tough Western Divi- with the puckster giving the Bywater. The line of Tom Jack- sion. The Hawks should live up Mustangs a sound thrashing 11-2. son, Dan Rintche and the colour- to all predictions if they can fill It should be an exciting season ful Brad Sparkes provide a solid all of what is expected of them for the Hawks as they vie for an- offense. Come January the addi- and gain another trip to the other first place finish in the tion of Davidson and McKeckney Queen's Cup final. With both OUAA Western Division loop. should provide even more scoring finalists automatically advancing Here is how the Hawks look on power. Steve Griggs should have to the nationals, Varsity Arena paper so far this year with one good opportunities to use his should see a return of the Hawkey game under their jocks. speed. Peter Hellstrom, the under- Hawks in March, however this rated Kevin Smith and Howdie time with a different result. We Last Season Record: (13-10-3) Mickowski need to use their size can only wait until mid-March for CIAU NATIONAL FINALISTS to their advantage. Dave Burke the answer. Old Faces Out: National all star defencemen Steve Handy, LW Tim Dolighan, LW Paul Gehl, backup goalie Rob Beatty. Adios Lady Tennis Hawks New Faces In: Goalie Mark O'Connor, Murray Townsend and Janet Forbes Frank Occhiuto; defenseman Jeff Special to the Cord NENA ORESCANIN Hauser and Barry Beck re- The WLU lady Hawks tennis team ended their season on a win- All-star sweeper Nena Orescanin, from Niagara Falls, has been incarnate Scott Driscoll; forwards McCreary, Andrew Wood, ning note this past weekend at the Northfield Tennis Club. Queen's selected this week's the women's Hawk of the Week. Orescanin had Mark Sean Davidson (in January) and University, who currently holds the number one team position, clear- two strong performances in the Lady Hawks decisive wins over Garnet McKeckney (in January) ly dominated the weekend play as they won all of their matches. Dou- Western, 2-1 on Wednesday, and Windsor, 3-0, Sunday. bles specialists Wendy Bonza and Michelle Evraire managed to rattle Goal: All successful teams have the team of Liona Hodgson and Sarah Robertson of Queen's in a a steady goalie. Last January close yet unfortunate 0-6, 7-6 (7-2) loss. Though the Laurier team of Rob Dopson asserted himself as Nancy Guerzoni and Vanessa Scott were unable to produce a solid one of the top OUAA goalies and victory against Queen's, their 6-0, 6-0 loss was not indicative of their Laurier's fortunes turned around. aggressive play. Both players registered in their match a display of Dopson has to continue his ex- prominent and outstanding serve and volley action. These players are cellent goal keeping in '89-'9O. expected to return next season with valuable team knowledge and ex- The backups are, as of yet, un- perience. listed. The Laurier Hawks scored several successive wins against Wind- sor. The team of Jane Barnett and Jennifer Welsh continued their Defense: Massive is the best ad- doubles dominance with a decisive 6-1, 6-3 win while Jennifer Welsh jective to describe a defense with also won her singles match over Windsor 6-3,6-4. six returning veteran at an aver- Crowd support was overwhelming for the Windsor matches as age weight of 210 lbs. Captain Helen Killoch continued the winning tradition with a 6-3, 6-1 win in Bill Loshaus, Mark Lyons, and singles play over Windsor. Nadine Schenberger was also a dominate PURDY heavy hitting lan Dobinit will force in singles play as she served and volleyed her way to a 6-0. 6-1 POUG lead the body checking depart- sound defeat Doug Purdy, a veteran forward had an outstanding game in the over Windsor. ment. OUAA Rookie of the Year end, Hawks 22-0 victory over Trent to earn this week's Hawk of the Week As the six-week season comes to an a top-ten finish is guar- Peter Choma and Larry Rucchin for the honours. The win gave Laurier the Tier Two title with a 6-1 record. anteed WLU tennis team. Coach Dennis Huss would like to offensive threats. Dan Marsden thank the and his assistants, for their input of time and commit- They now advance to the First Division playoffs. team has returned from last year's ment for Laurier this year. He would also like to remind the Tennis ankle injury with a good pre- Hawk of a short, yet important team meeting on October 30 in the' season. Women's Varsity Lounge.

OUAA Soccer

Team GP W L T F APts x-Western 12 7 1 4 24 6 18 x-Windsor 12 7 2 3 22 10 17 LAURIER 12 6 3 3 25 13 15 McMaster 12 4 4 4 14 14 12 Guelph 11 3 3 5 7 7 11 Brock 12 1 4 7 6 17 9 theSCORES Waterloo 12 3 7 2 15 17 8 Ryerson 11 1 829 38 4 x- clinched playoff spot

OUAA Tier II Rugby OUAA Football Results: Western 5, Brock 1 Guelph 1,LAURIER 0 Team GP W L T F APts Team GP W L T F APts Guelph 1, McMaster 1 Western 3, Waterloo 0 y-LAURIER 7 6 1 0140 50 12 x-Western 7 6 1 0253 65 12 LAURIER 5, Ryerson 1 McMaster 5, Ryerson 0 RMC 7 5 1 1 90 40 11 x-Toronto 7 5 2 0134 96 10 Windsor 3, Waterloo 1 Brock 7 3 4 0 95 76 6 x-Guelph 7 5 2 0147102 8* Toronto 7 3 4 0 54104 6 x-Waterloo 7 4 3 0133140 8 Upcoming Games: Carleton 7 3 4 0 38101 6 LAURIER 7 3 4 0108 88 6 LAURIER at Waterloo Trent 7 0 6 1 28 74 1 Windsor 7 3 4 0115120 6 Sat. Oct 28th at 1:00, Columbia Field y-clinched first place McMaster 7 2 5 0101183 4 Brock at LAURIER York 7 0 7 0 50236 0 Sun. Oct 29th at 1:00, Bechtel Park x-clinched playoff spot OUAA Hockey West *-Guelph forfeited win ovrr York, neither team receives points Results: Team GPW L T F APts Brock 7, Results: Toronto 3 Guelph 2 2 0 0 13 8 4 RMC 18, Toronto 14, LAURIER 12 Carleton 3 LAURIER 1 1 0 0 11 2 2 LAURIER 22, Trent 0 Western 25, Guelph 24 Waterloo 1 1 0 0 7 2 2 Waterloo 21, Windsor 16 Laurentian 2 1 1 0 9 10 2 McMaster 31, York 3 McMaster 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 Upcoming Games: Brock 1 0 1 0 4 8 0 Upcoming Games: OUAA Western 1 0 1 0 2 11 0 SEMI-FINALS: OUAA Semi-Finals: LAURIER RMC 2 0 2 0 7 13 at Waterloo, Sat. Oct 28, Columbia Guelph at 0 Field Toronto Windsor 2 0 2 0 6 12 0 across from the Villages. Waterloo at Western The Cord Weekly 28Thursday October 26,1989 Report card shows Hawks must go back to school Sports Analysis throw the defence off. Jankovic LINEBACKERS: hauled in quite a few intercep- unconscious out there and should By Chris Starkey never sprung one up the middle PRE-SEASON....A+ tions in the middle of the sched- be special teams co-MVP's. all year, but he makes Cecchini POST-SEASON...A ule. Tavares and Wilson quietly Laurier has missed the even better with his great block- The closest A+ in the league. went about their business on the PLACEKICKING: playoffs after a pair of 6-1 sea- ing. Martin and Smith are good- Van Moerkerke could be 2nd all- way to all-star selections, Foudy PRE-SEASON....C- sons and an OUAA looking kids for the future here. Canadian, Graffi made 2nd came off an injury to stabilize the POST-SEASON...D championship. There are many OUAA despite an off year, sophomore starters, Bisci nabbed Brownrigg won the kicking people that are upset over the RECEIVING: Tharby was a sack monster and some timely interceptions and job over four others just before whole thing, myself included. PRE-SEASON....C- Grossman would be OUAA on Knox came on in the second half first game and the unit as a whole I find it difficult to maintain POST-SEASON...D+ almost any other team. Equally to give WLU some stability here seemed to suffer from a lack of my objectivity when I'm taking It seemed that in every game adept at pass rush, defending for 1990. polish. Brownrigg was (from pictures or writing about the there were catchable balls that against the run and interceptions, memory) under 50% in FG at- Hawks because: a) I'm one of were never turned into receptions, this group of veterans are going PUNTING: tempts, but it seemed like one got their biggest fans; b) I know but I don't think the pass-catchers to leave some monstrous holes to PRE-SEASON^.C- blocked every week. In the last several of the players fairly well; are completely at fault. For every fill in 1990. POST-SEASON...B three games, the field goal unit and c) I'm still not convinced that ball that could have been there Probably the most pleasant missed 4 points against Gtfelph, 3 the Cord is the place for a was at least one that was nowhere surprise of the 1989 campaign, points against Waterloo, and 2 wholesale slamming of a team. I near them. With Chin, Jones, DEFENSIVE BACKS; Mackenzie boomed some long versus Toronto. Not fair to hang do know that if we had gone 7-0 Forth and the subs returning, this PRE-SEASON....B- ones and if they weren't long, the whole blame on the kicking and won the Yates Cup they is one of the few positions where POST-SEASON...B they were high enough for the team, but a sth place 3-4 team would be plastered all over the the Hawks will get better in 1990. A horrid start at Mac quickly pursuit to hold returners to a few would have been a 3rd place 4-2- front page as they were two years turned around and the DB's yards. Tharby and Keller were 1 team with those points. ago though. In that spirit, as how QUARTERBACKING: sports teams that do well get PRE-SEASON....B- good publicity, here's a overview -POST-SEASON...D of the season. lan Mackenzie is a very nice In a pre-season Lanier guy and he was the best they had OUAA Football Roundup Cup/CIAU press kit, Coach Rich for the offence they ran but the Newbrough gavea "report card of offence they ran was not what the Hawks. Let's take a look at they could use week after week. the marks and see if the team The coaching staff should have By Brian Owen played up to their coach's stan- gone with Smalling from about Cord Weekly dards. halftime at the Guelph game on, because Mac wasn't getting the WESTERN 25 GUELPH 24 OFFENSIVE LINE: ball to the receivers when they Western captured top spot in the OUAA by defeating Guelph in the last minute and a half of the game on PRE-SEASON....A+ did pass and the option was all a Duane Ford touchdown. Ford had 155 yards rushing on 19 carries for 2 TDs. Guelph QB Mike POST-SEASON...A too obvious to suspecting Shoemaker was 23 of 38 in the air for 346 yards passing but the Gryphon defence couldn't maintain the The O-line was to be the defences. Smalling looked good Mustang offensive. The seesaw battle produced an exciting game for viewers. Guelph faces U ofT in saviour of the Hawks' offence for first time out on Saturday and Toronto for their weekend playoff tilt. this year, but in the final games will be a comer for '90 and '91. they just didn't seem to have the Had he had some earlier quality WATERLOO 21 WINDSOR 16 "overwhelmingness" that I was playing time, the Hawks might Waterloo won their fourth consecutive game and now advance to the playoffs for the first time in five expecting. The all-star "unit" of have pulled out another win. years. They are pitted against the tough Western Mustangs, who should burst the Warrior bubble with Breckles, Choma and Bryer don't little difficulty. Warrior QB Brian Lenart threw for two six yards TDs to Heydon Vialva and Brian get the "+" only because there Raynor. weren't any A plusses at any DEFENSIVE LINE: position on any OUAA team this PRE-SEASON....B+ MCMASTER 31 YORK 3 POST-SEASON...B+ year, Mac got back in the win column with a win over the lowly Yeoman. Mac QB Tony Alfano racked The loss of Stiliadis up was mini- 299 yards passing and three TDs in the air. Jamie Sands caught two and Ray Mac as Martino had the other BACKFIELD: mal Madden took over as major. York went 0-7 for the season. PRE-SEASON....A- spiritual and contact leader of the POST-SEASON...B front four. Compagnon picked up Cecchini missed the OUAA the slack when Madden was rushing title again but it had had doubled and Sharp was more than Lady Basketball Hawks adequate. deserved a net more to do with the ineffective- Lawson bit ness of the passing attack than his more playing time and Keller will ability. Everyone knew the game be an OUAA all-star by third plan...Chick left, Chick right with year. Coach Malott couldn't have asked for much more. with the occasional incompletion split York to University By Jeff Dragich stra was the top scorer with percxtended elbow earlir in the Cord Weekly twelve points followed by Litde week. Also, Carrie Lanning may Sports with eleven points and nine have fractured the scaphoid bone Norts The Lady Hawks basket ball team rebounds. The Hawks are trying in her wristwhich would hold her got its season underway last to overcome severalminor in- back until Christmas. Next game weekend with two exhibition WOMEN'S SOCCER juries as the exhibition saeson foer the Lady Hawks is Sunday at games against York University. The Lady Hawks had an excellent progresses. Little has a tender 1:00 pm ion th A.C. as they take week, winning both their The Hawks earned a split of the games to retain their national ranking. Wednesday they knee and Dykstra suffered a hy- on Carleton. defeated series, losing the opener 70-61 Western 2-1 on goals by Helen Stoumboso Coach Syed Mohammed last Tuesday in Toronto, Then remarked that the game was, in his mind, Lady the Hawks best game returning home to take the of the year. On Sunday they blanked Windsor 3-0. Goal scorers were rematch on Sunday 50-29. Kelly Konstantinou, Helen and Nicknames Trivia Contest Stoumbos Tanya Rusynyk. Despite losing by nine, Goalkeeper Mathilda Haanepan had two outstanding games. Laurier played relatively well in By Rob Brown HOCKEY the opener. The offense was Cord Weekly Last year's national finalists made quite a statement in their open- shooting well, hitting 20 of 44, ing season victory last Friday crushing Western 11-2 for their but the Lady Hawks were beaten Back by popular demand, ihc nicknames trivia is here again. This homecoming in London. Mike Maurice and rookie Mark McCreary under the boards and gave up time you can win something really neat, an authentic Pro Reflections had three goals each. Also Peter Choma had two goals; Greg some fast break buckets. Sue t-shirt. Write down your answers and bring them up to the Cord of- Puhalski, Kevin Smith and Bill Loshaw added singles. At the end of Little led the attack for the Lady fices by Friday 2:00 pm. The person who comes up with the most the first period the Hawks opened a 7-0 lead and never looked back Hawks with nineteen points and correct answers wins. going on to thump Western. The Hawks home opener is this Wednes- six rebounds. Colleen Ryan and day at 7:30 pm against Brock at the bubble. Dana Perry were also impressive. 1. Who was the Georgia Peach? WOMEN'S VOLLEYBALL In the rematch the Lady 2. Who was known as the Pocket Rocket? The new and improved Lady Hawks continued their exhibition Hawks were able to make some 3. Who was known as the Gator? play last Wednesday against the Waterloo Athenas. Unfortunately, adjustments and effectively shut 4. Who was Bronko during his career? they lost the match 3-2, going down in the fifth game 15-13. Coach down the Yeowomen with some 5. Who was the Little Beaver? Leach thought it was a great effort with all of the team seeing playing great team defense. Laurier was 6. Who were the Flying Dutchmen? time. also able to control the glass, 7. Who is the Pistol? - LACROSSE CLUB rarely allowing York a second 8. What MLB pitcher was the Spaceman? shot at the hoop. The offense 9. Who was the Great White Hope? Mark O'Donoghue recorded six goals for a nine point afternoon struggled, shooting only 36% 10. Who was the Road Runner? as the WLU Lacrosse Club ripped apart U of W for a 12-7 victory last from the field. However, the in- Sunday at Lexington Field. Gord Chalk and Mark Cochrane had two tense defensive effort kept the Stumper: What was the name of the hockey team that was featured goals each while Sean Hinnegan and rookie John Hall adding singles. Hawks comfortably ahead of the in the movie Slapshot? The Club finishes regular season play Sunday as they host Brock. visiting York squad. Renata Dyk-