Playing It Safe Playing It Safe - A comprehensive discussion about what DMs do and don't do to keep you safe in a community dungeon.
Description - Discover what a DM will and won't do to keep things safe in a community dungeon setting. Learn what it takes to be a DM, what to expect from a DM, as well as what do to if your scene it stopped. From "duh" to disaster, we'll take a look at everything DM and open discussion regarding the grey areas of DMing.
This DM class differs from others that I’ve taught in that it is not in conjunction with any one dungeon. I’d love to tell you that this is the one true way, but that’s not the truth or the case. While there are some indisputables in regards to medical science, there’s a lot of grey areas in DMing. We’ll talk about a lot of them.
What is a DM?
What do you think a DM does?
Lifeguard – Observe the Dungeon for people in distress Crowd Control – movement and noise control Kindergarten teacher – Keep your hands to yourself Info Desk – Wipes are located there, bathrooms are over there. Enforcer of the Rules – ensure compliance with the rules of the dungeon. First Responder – You may need to give first aid, or assist someone who is giving first aid.
What a DM isn’t:
What shouldn’t a DM do?
Technique police – They’re doing it wrong! That’s ok, as long as no one is getting hurt. Eager to stop scenes – The goal is to let people play, stopping only of necessity Adrenaline Junkie – The calmer the better.
Dedicated DM
Some dungeons require certain types of scenes to have a dedicated DM. This is a DM who is to monitor just that scene. Types of scenes requiring a Dedicated DM may include a scene in a closed room and/or self-suspension.
What other types of scenes do you think warrant a Dedicated DM?
DAs or Dungeon Assistants A DA is essentially a runner who brings players water, sometimes towels, and cleans the equipment after the players are done.
Pros: Allows quick turn over of equipment Allows for uninterrupted aftercare Adds a nice customer service touch
Cons: Potential interruption of aftercare Discourages personal responsibility Presents a liability issue
What other pros and cons do you see in regards to a DAs.
You As A DM
Consenting to be part of a scene – as a voyeur Consenting to be part of Every SCENE – Impartially monitor your ex playing with their new partner, impartially monitoring someone you hate/adore. Watching people who fall way outside your aesthetic preferences do the nasty.
What other potential conflicts of interests do you think a DM has to overcome?
Know your hard limits – BDSM Checklist (get someone else or switch shifts)
What are your hard limits?
Know your abilities – first aid? CPR certified? AED educated? (If you don’t know any first aid, know who does and know where to get them. Ideally your Head DM should know.)
What other of your abilities should you be aware of?
Strength – can you lift a limb body up to unhook? Height – how will you reach high things if necessary? Medical Issues – how will they impact your role as a DM?
Your Dungeon
NEVER ASSUME – ALL DUNGEONS ARE DIFFERENT!
This is part of your “negotiation” as a DM. If you are uncomfortable with the responsibilities any given dungeon wishes their DMs to undertake, do not DM for them.
What are their rules?
Will the head DM have your back?
**I firmly believe the head DM should always have your back publically. Even if you fuck up the call, she should have your back. She may want to reeducate you in private, but she should respect your call.
Some campouts, cruises, and festivals have an “anything goes” type atmosphere. Some dungeons have restrictions on fire play and blood play. Some scenes need to be pre-approved. Find out the rules of your dungeon before you agree to DM. Shadowing an existing DM for each new Dungeon you DM at is a good idea!
Some common areas of difference:
Choking Watersports Blood play Needle play Knife play Rape play (CNC) Throw down play What does Red mean? Stop and regroup or permanent stop?
Some are permitted or not. Some permitted momentarily. Some are permitted with special restrictions.
What other areas of play do you thing dungeons may differ on?
Why do you think dungeons differ on these items?
Local laws Desire of group members
DM Equipment
Arm band or sash EMT sheers Gloves – Latex, Vinyl, Nitrile Cleaners – READ LABELS – 7 minutes, Ventilation etc. Wipes – READ LABELS First Aid Kits Sharps Container – real, don’t close the lid, bottles, etc. Fire Extinguisher - http://www.fire-extinguisher101.com Coke/Glucose Tablets AED
What else do you think a DM could use? (Nifty Paramedic tool) Should you bring your own equipment?
Dungeon Equipment
Know how to use all of the dungeon equipment. If someone brings a piece of furniture for their scene, make sure you know how to use it. Ask for demonstrations on any equipment you don’t know how to use.
Know Your Venue
Light switches Exits
What else do you think you should know about your Dungeon equipment and Venue?
Your Shift
Before
Arrive early Check with the previous DMs and get updated on what is going on
During
Circulate If you are permitted to sit, sit with the intent to fly out of your seat at a moments notice.
What are you watching for?
Bad Pain Watchers too close Anything that violates the rules Anything that may present danger to life, limb, and property
Safewords provide a false sense of security
Unfortunately, most people won’t use them. Help! Is one of the words I’ve heard more often. You probably won’t hear a safeword due to loud music.
What other reasons are there that you should not rely only on safewords?
In the social area?! No, Don’t, and Stop are common cries for assistance in the social area.
Stopping a scene
Verbal Intervention Excuse me. I’m sorry. I have to stop you because… state reason calmly
Physical Intervention
Only when you have to. Absolute last resort. Usually only occurs when someone has collapsed on a piece of equipment.
Watch my sub (DA pro) This is a no. Exception – explosive diarrhea, etc.
Crowd Control
Excuse me. I’m sorry.
Walking through scenes Puppy dogging Talking too loud
Keep it positive!
Give positive direction. No/Don’t doesn’t tell people what they should do instead.
Don’t walk through scenes! / Could you please use the designated walkways?
How are some other ways to give positive direction?
First Aid https://www.redcross.org/images/MEDIA_CustomProductCatalog/m4240170_Ad ult_ready_reference.pdf
Special Situations
Restraining Orders Uninvited Guests – Angry Ex
Do you think Dungeons should enforce restraining orders? How would you deal with a party crasher?
After Your Shift
Give the next DMs report on what is happening/pre-approved scenes Fill out any necessary incident reports
You’re Going To Fuck Up
Evacuation Plan
Be prepared. You never know when you may need to evacuate.
My Evacuation Plan
Know the building
Know the Ambulance Response time
When should you evacuate?
Fire alarm You need to call 911
How To Be A Better DM
Go to all the 101 classes you can. Go to first aid classes.
Scenarios
You stop a scene that shouldn’t have been stopped.
A scene has ended. Aftercare has been given. The bottoms told her buddy she’s ok, the buddy can go now. A respected community member sits next to her and starts pinching her. She says no, stop, but is giggling.
The bottom triggered!
The top triggered
An insertable is stuck up there. We have to go to the ER!
The bottom is strangling!
S/he stuck her finger in me!
My ex is here!
My stalker is here!
Someone’s been outed!
Someone’s being bullied / puppy dogged! (When does persistence become harassment?)
Resources https://www.redcross.org/images/MEDIA_CustomProductCatalog/m4240170_Ad ult_ready_reference.pdf http://dominantguide.com/206/a-practical-handbook-for-dungeon-monitoring/
http://www.evilmonk.org/a/nlaadmg.cfm
http://www.sirbamm.com/dmguide.html
https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/how-to-train-your-dungeon-monitor
Gloves
http://blog.allegromedical.com/medical-glove-types-latex-vinyl-and-nitrile-exam-and-surgical-gloves- buyers-guide-1534.html
Rope https://rumenbasheff.files.wordpress.com/2016/06/rope_bottom_guide.pdf
Laci Green (YouTube) http://www.crashoverridenetwork.com/ https://onlinesafety.feministfrequency.com/en/
Fire Extinguishers http://www.fire-extinguisher101.com
Bio
Sadie McMaster believes in the PRICK concept and believes that safety should balance risk. From Behavior Based Safety and creating disaster drills for the workplace to DMing and Educating in Dungeons in NY and Canada, Sadie celebrates safety in both the kink and vanilla world.