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Consent and BDSM

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Consent and BDSM Consent: Consent Violations Consent & Consent is a cornerstone to If, while attending an event, someone BDSM. Most practitioners violates your consent during play by subscribe to SSC (safe sane ignoring a clearly stated limit, ignoring BDSM a safe word during play, or by consensual), RACK (risk repeatedly touching you or demanding aware consensual Kink) or play after you have assertively PRICK (personal refused/rebuffed them, talk to a DM (Dungeon Monitor) or one of the event responsibility informed organizers. consensual kink). If this violation happens outside an event you have options including (But not limited to) the following: Consent, in the context of Kink lifestyles and activities, • If you are comfortable, you can means that everyone try to talk to the person about involved is an adult who what happened and how you understands what they are feel. agreeing to, is mentally able • You can report to the police. to appreciate the • You can simply be certain to not play with this person again consequences of the activity • You can engage in self care that www.aspecc.ca or lifestyle they are agreeing does not include any of the to, AND they ACTIVELY above agree. Consent is the Consent means that there Some police and therapists are KINK are ways to communicate AWARE. Do not be afraid to use these difference between services if you have need. that you need the activity to BDSM and No one has the right to violate your stop (such as safe words). clearly stated boundaries or your Abuse/Cheating, In order for your consent to consent. between Poly and be valid you must be able to Www. aspecc .ca for more handouts on remove consent. this and other topics Cheating How to Get Consent is Violated Personal Responsibility Consent: WHEN Know that we all have the • Your negotiated limits are right and the responsibility ignored. to take charge of our own Verbal consent is given • Your safe word is ignored Kink Journey. BEFORE any BDSM activity or relationship commences, • You are manipulated or Personal Responsibility is and AFTER communication coerced into consenting. about taking ownership and about what activities will • You are forbidden from accountability of our own occur, which will not. withdrawing your consent. actions. • When more than you had This means we are each Consent is only given if it is negotiated for is introduced responsible for what we say WITHIN the boundaries and during play. and what we do. limits of those involved. • When agreed upon safety measures are not Personal Responsibility does implemented (example, not remove a person's right Consent must be given condoms if sexual to bodily autonomy. freely. It cannot be coerced, penetration is part of play) Personal Responsibility does manipulated or obtained • When consent was given NOT mean that a person is through trickery and/or while you were intoxicated, responsible for their assault. deceit. under the influence of drugs or otherwise cognitively Consent can be withdrawn at incapacitated It is the responsibility of any time by any person • When you did not consent the person who is DOING involved. on your on behalf (when to make sure the person someone consents for you) they are doing TO is Consent to BDSM activity • When you are unconscious consenting. Not hearing a safe word is not the same as requires that all parties are • If you were never given an sober & able to understand opportunity to consent prior ongoing consent. what they are consenting to. to the activity. Remember to check in and if not sure-STOP. .
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