In the Habit of Being Kinky: Practice and Resistance
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Maid to Order: Commercial Fetishism and Gender Power
Maid to Order COMMERCIALFETISHISM AND GENDERPOWER In Sex, Madonna has her wits, if not her clothes, about her. The scandal Anne McClintock of Sex is the scandal of S/M: the provocative confession that the edicts of power are reversible. So the critics bay for her blood: a woman who takes sex and money into her own hands must-sooner or later-bare her breast to the knife. But with the utmost artifice and levity, Madonna refuses to imitate tragedy. Taking sex into the street, and money into the bedroom, she flagrantly violates the sacramental edicts of private and public, and stages sexual commerce as a theater of transformation. Madonna's erotic photo album is filled with the theatrical parapher- nalia of S/M: boots, chains, leather, whips, masks, costumes, and scripts. Andrew Neil, editor of the Sunday Times, warns ominously that it thus runs the risk of unleashing "the dark side" of human nature, "with par- ticular danger for women."1 But the outrage of Sex is its insight into con- sensual S/M as high theater.2 Demonizing S/M confuses the distinction between unbridled sadism and the social subculture of consensual fetishism.3 To argue that in consensual S/M the "dominant" has power, and the slave has not, is to read theater for reality; it is to play the world forward. The economy of S/M is the economy of conversion: slave to master, adult to baby, pain to pleasure, man to woman, and back again. S/M, as Foucault puts it, "is not a name given to a practice as old as Eros; it is a massive cultural fact which appeared precisely at the end of the eighteenth century, and which constitutes one of the greatest conver- sions of Western imagination: unreason transformed into delirium of the heart."4 Consensual S/M "plays the world backwards."5 In Sex, as in S/M, roles are swiftly swapped. -
ISSN 1820-4589 the CULTURE of POLIS, Vol. XVII (2020)
ISSN 1820-4589 THE CULTURE OF POLIS, vol. XVII (2020), special edition a journal for nurturing democratic political culture THE CULTURE OF POLIS a journal for nurturing democratic political culture Publishers: Culture – Polis Novi Sad, www.kpolisa.com; Institute of European studies Belgrade, www.ies.rs Editorial board: dr Srbobran Branković, dr Mirko Miletić, dr Aleksandar M. Petrović, dr Slaviša Orlović, dr Veljko Delibašić, dr Đorđe Stojanović, dr Milan Subotić, dr Aleksandar Gajić, dr Nebojša Petrović, dr Darko Gavrilović, dr Miloš Savin, dr Aleksandra Šuvaković, dr Milan Igrutinović. Main and accountable editor: dr Ljubiša Despotović Deputy of the main and accountable editor: dr Zoran Jevtović Assistant of the main and accountable editor: dr Željko Bjelajac Secretary of the editorial board: dr Aleksandar Matković Foreign members of the editorial board: dr Vasilis Petsinis (Grčka), dr Pol Mojzes (SAD), dr Pavel Bojko (Ruska Federacija), dr Marko Atila Hoare (Velika Britanija), dr Tatjana Tapavički - Duronjić (RS-BiH), dr Davor Pauković (Hrvatska), dr Eugen Strautiu (Rumunija) dr Daniela Blaževska (Severna Makedonija) dr Dejan Mihailović (Meksiko) Text editor: Milan Karanović Journal council: dr Živojin Đurić, predsednik; dr Vukašin Pavlović, dr Ilija Vujačić, dr Srđan Šljukić, dr Dragan Lakićević, dr Jelisaveta Todorović, dr Radoslav Gaćinović, dr Zoran Aracki, dr Nedeljko Prdić, dr Zoran Avramović, dr Srđan Milašinović, dr Joko Dragojlović, dr Marija Đorić, dr Boro Merdović, dr Aleksandar M. Filipović, dr Goran Ivančević. Printing: NS Mala knjiga + Circulation: 400. UDC 316.334.56:008 CIP – Cataloging in publication Library of Matica srpska, Novi Sad 3 КУЛТУРА полиса : часопис за неговање демократске политичке културе / главни и одговорни уредник Љубиша Деспотовић. -
Consent Violations Survey
Consent Violations Survey Tech Report Prepared by: Susan Wright, M.A. Co-Principal Investigator National Coalition for Sexual Freedom Russell J. Stambaugh, Ph.D. Co-Principal Investigator Derrell Cox, M.A. Department of Anthropology Center for Applied Social Research University of Oklahoma 1 August 2015 TABLE OF CONTENTS Section I: Introduction Background Project Aims Section II: Method Procedure Sample Section III: Results Touching at BDSM Events Consent Violations during BDSM Activities Who is being violated? Who is violating consent? Frequency of Violations When was consent violated the first time? How was consent violated? References Reporting Consensual Nonconsent Relationships Repercussions Consent Violators False Accusations 2 SECTION I: INTRODUCTION Background The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom gathered data through its first Consent Survey in 2012 in order to gauge attitudes about consent and consent violations within a power exchange context. Of those responding, 33% indicated that their pre-negotiated limit had been violated and/or their safeword was ignored during a BDSM encounter. This Consent Violations Survey was launched in 2014 to gather additional details about consent violations in a BDSM context including: the severity of the violations, who is being violated, where they were violated, the relationship and intent of those involved, the power dynamic at the time of the violation, as well as information about false accusations and from people who have committed consent violations. SECTION II: METHODS Procedure The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) undertook an Internet survey on Consent Violations in a BDSM context and recruited participants through various electronic means, such as distribution through website posts and email list-serves belonging to the NCSF Coalition Partners and members. -
The Sexual Politics of Meat by Carol J. Adams
THE SEXUAL POLITICS OF MEAT A FEMINISTVEGETARIAN CRITICAL THEORY Praise for The Sexual Politics of Meat and Carol J. Adams “A clearheaded scholar joins the ideas of two movements—vegetari- anism and feminism—and turns them into a single coherent and moral theory. Her argument is rational and persuasive. New ground—whole acres of it—is broken by Adams.” —Colman McCarthy, Washington Post Book World “Th e Sexual Politics of Meat examines the historical, gender, race, and class implications of meat culture, and makes the links between the prac tice of butchering/eating animals and the maintenance of male domi nance. Read this powerful new book and you may well become a vegetarian.” —Ms. “Adams’s work will almost surely become a ‘bible’ for feminist and pro gressive animal rights activists. Depiction of animal exploita- tion as one manifestation of a brutal patriarchal culture has been explored in two [of her] books, Th e Sexual Politics of Meat and Neither Man nor Beast: Feminism and the Defense of Animals. Adams argues that factory farming is part of a whole culture of oppression and insti- tutionalized violence. Th e treatment of animals as objects is parallel to and associated with patriarchal society’s objectifi cation of women, blacks, and other minorities in order to routinely exploit them. Adams excels in constructing unexpected juxtapositions by using the language of one kind of relationship to illuminate another. Employing poetic rather than rhetorical techniques, Adams makes powerful connec- tions that encourage readers to draw their own conclusions.” —Choice “A dynamic contribution toward creating a feminist/animal rights theory.” —Animals’ Agenda “A cohesive, passionate case linking meat-eating to the oppression of animals and women . -
The Politics of Fantasy
Kohl: a Journal for Body and Gender Research Vol. 3, No. 2 (Winter 2017) The Politics of Fantasy Jaya Sharma The Politics of Fantasy Fantasies that don’t sit so well with our politics, and yet here they are. Might this uncomfortable place 139 where our fantasies and our politics seem to collide also be a productive one, precisely because it is uncomfortable. This is the question I would like to explore here. I write as a queer, kinky, feminist activist from within the women’s movement in India. It is perhaps because of this location that I feel I am able to be part of the tradition of women’s movement, at least here in India, and to be self-critical, often to the point of being overly critical of ourselves. The way I am using the word fantasy is in terms of an expression or enactment of desire. And while we are all familiar with the concept of desire in its most overt form of sexual fantasies or imagined sexual scenarios, I believe that desire, and by implication, fantasy, also underpin our relation to reality in virtually every other domain of life – from relationships to career choices, from ideology to politics. I would like to begin with sexual fantasies and later move to fantasy as a dimension of other aspects of life. A feminist friend whom I interviewed for a piece I was writing on porn told me about her porn-watching experience one night. The porn that she found herself looking for was very specific. It was about incest involving daughter and parents. -
Sex, Violence and the Body: the Erotics of Wounding
Sex, Violence and the Body The Erotics of Wounding Edited by Viv Burr and Jeff Hearn PPL-UK_SVB-Burr_FM.qxd 9/24/2008 2:33 PM Page i Sex, Violence and the Body PPL-UK_SVB-Burr_FM.qxd 9/24/2008 2:33 PM Page ii Also by Viv Burr AN INTRODUCTION TO SOCIAL CONSTRUCTIONISM GENDER AND SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY INVITATION TO PERSONAL CONSTRUCT PSYCHOLOGY (with Trevor W. Butt) THE PERSON IN SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY Also by Jeff Hearn BIRTH AND AFTERBIRTH: A Materialist Account ‘SEX’ AT ‘WORK’: The Power and Paradox of Organisation Sexuality (with Wendy Parkin) THE GENDER OF OPPRESSION: Men, Masculinity and the Critique of Marxism MEN, MASCULINITIES AND SOCIAL THEORY (co-editor with David Morgan) MEN IN THE PUBLIC EYE: The Construction and Deconstruction of Public Men and Public Patriarchies THE VIOLENCES OF MEN: How Men Talk about and How Agencies Respond to Men’s Violence to Women CONSUMING CULTURES: Power and Resistance (co-editor with Sasha Roseneil) TRANSFORMING POLITICS: Power and Resistance (co-editor with Paul Bagguley) GENDER, SEXUALITY AND VIOLENCE IN ORGANIZATIONS: The Unspoken Forces of Organization Violations (with Wendy Parkin) ENDING GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE: A Call for Global Action to Involve Men (with Harry Ferguson et al.) INFORMATION SOCIETY AND THE WORKPLACE: Spaces, Boundaries and Agency (co-editor with Tuula Heiskanen) GENDER AND ORGANISATIONS IN FLUX? (co-editor with Päivi Eriksson et al.) HANDBOOK OF STUDIES ON MEN AND MASCULINITIES (co-editor with Michael Kimmel and R. W. Connell) MEN AND MASCULINITIES IN EUROPE (with Keith Pringle et al.) -
Kinky Checklist
Sex Gets Real invites you to... Get Your Kinky On Ready to explore some edgy, kinky play in the bedroom? This comprehensive checklist is the perfect way for you and your lover to discover fantasies you may have in common, and to help launch a more open discussion about desires and needs. Remember - our limits and desires change over time. Use this periodically to check in and try new things! Time to get sexy... sexgetsreal.com Copyright 2016, Sex Gets Real, LLC Welcome to your kinky, juicy checklist of fun. Before we begin, let's go over a few tips and guidelines to ensure you get exactly what you want out of this list. 1. Different strokes for different folks. What follows is a collection of sweet, intimate, edgy, invasive, loving, violent, and dangerous types of play. Keep an open mind, but never do anything you aren't ready to explore. 2. Do it alone, or with others. Use this list to check in with yourself. What interests you? What scares you, but sets your body on fire? Or, make a few copies, and have your lover complete one, as well. Compare notes, and see what you may have in common. 3. You determine the intensity. Honor your body. Respect your limits. This is not about harming yourself or others. This is about having fun and making sex into an adventure. If you see something like biting or flogging or hair pulling, those things can be done so lightly they almost tickle. Rape play sounds scary, but what if it's just you blindfolded and your lover wearing new cologne so they smell like a stranger? Get creative. -
NLA Newsleather November 2020
Issue 5: November 2020 NewsLeather Leather: It’s who you are, not what you wear NLA-Dallas is about Education * Activism * Community A Review of BV Online Attendees at Beyond Vanilla Online on October 3, 2020, were treated to a smorgasbord of kinky information and fun conversation. A couple of classes had wow moments that got us excited and ready for more. Master TC ended his Negotiation class with a demo that left us all reaching for our fans and praying to our gods the scene actually happens when we are nearby, and Doctor Bubbles and KitKat Ann’s look at Fear Play culminated with a surprise mini scene that clearly demonstrated the difference between surprise and suspense. Beginning our journey in exploring the gender spectrum, Maverick introduced us to some of their friends who showed us unequivocally that one’s parts do not always define one’s gender and that assumptions based on appearances can be way off base. Lee Harrington’s thought provoking exploration of Intentional Relationship Design was interwoven with his signature melange of spiritual appreciation and pragmatic application. Throughout the day, classes alternated with pre-recorded videos to keep the educational opportunities going. Butterscotch’s enthusiasm for tea service shined brightly as she walked us through her take on tea. Ursus’ demonstration of a bar shine gave us a glimpse into the world of the bootblacking, offering something for those interested in being a bootblack, as well as those who seek out their service. Fred illuminated the world of cigars and cigar service for attendees, information that was later put to good use at the post-event hybrid virtual and in-person Beyond Vanilla After Dark. -
Glossary of LGBTQIA Terms
Glossary of LGBTQIA Terms These are terms commonly used by LGBTQIA people and their Allies. A note about these definitions: Each of these definitions has been carefully researched and closely analyzed from theoretical and practical perspectives for cultural sensitivity, common usage, and general appropriateness. We have done our best to represent the most popular uses of the terms listed; however there may be some variation in definitions depending on location. Please note that each person who uses any or all of these terms does so in a unique way (especially terms that are used in the context of an identity label). If you do not understand the context in which a person is using one of these terms, it is always appropriate to ask. This is especially recommended when using terms that we have noted that can have a derogatory connotation. ******************************************************************************************** Ace – Someone who identifies as asexual. Ag / Aggressive – A term used by people of color to describe a masculine lesbian. Also known as „stud.‟ Agender – A person without gender. An agender individual‟s body does not necessarily correspond with their lack of gender identity. Often, agender individuals are not concerned with their physical sex, but some may seek to look androgynous. [Related Terms: neutrois, genderless, gender neutral] Alloromantic – Someone who is not on the aromantic spectrum. Allosexual – Someone who is not on the asexual spectrum. Ally – 1. Someone who actively confronts heterosexism, anti- LGBTQ biases, heterosexual and cisgender privilege in themselves and others 2. Has concern for the well being of lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, intersex, queer, and other similarly identified people 3. -
Common BDSM Terminology
Common BDSM Terminology Common Terminology: • BDSM – Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. • SSC – Safe, Sane, Consensual • RACK – Risk Aware Consensual Kink • PRICK – Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink • Scene – Both the BDSM Community as a whole and a play interaction. • “Thud” – Sensation produced when struck with broad/heavy/soft toys – e.g .floggers, big paddles. • “Sting” – Sensation produced when struck with thin/light/hard toys – e.g. cane or single tail. • Dungeon – a (public or private) play space. • DM (Dungeon Monitor) – Public playspace lifeguard. • Squick – Something that viscerally turns you off. The sound of your parents fucking on the kitchen table. • BBW – Big Beautiful Woman • Sub Frenzy – The desire to try everything when one is new to the scene. • Subspace – An altered state often resulting from endorphins released through sensation/impact play. • Sub Drop/Top Drop – Temporary depression sometimes experienced (hours or days) after intense play. Safeword – a word or phrase used to pause or stop play. • Stop!/No! - If you’re a beginner (or playing with a beginner), keep it simple, no means no, stop means stop. • Safeword!/Red! – Stop now! Something is seriously wrong. DMs/bystanders requested to help. • Yellow/Mercy – I can’t take much more, need a break, please check in. • Green – I’m having a good time, please continue! • Beige – I’m so bored I’m thinking about what color to paint the ceiling. Roles: • Top/Bottom – Enjoy physical play (bondage, flogging, whipping, etc.) • Sadist/Masochist – Enjoy inflicting/receiving pain (intense physical sensation). • Dom/Sub – Enjoy mental power exchange (following orders, serving, etc.) • Master/Slave – Enjoy long term owner/property relationship. -
The Emotional Content of Sexual Fantasies, Psychological and Interpersonal Distress, and Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships
City University of New York (CUNY) CUNY Academic Works All Dissertations, Theses, and Capstone Projects Dissertations, Theses, and Capstone Projects 9-2017 Women’s Sexual Fantasies in Context: The Emotional Content of Sexual Fantasies, Psychological and Interpersonal Distress, and Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships Sarah Constantine The Graduate Center, City University of New York How does access to this work benefit ou?y Let us know! More information about this work at: https://academicworks.cuny.edu/gc_etds/2162 Discover additional works at: https://academicworks.cuny.edu This work is made publicly available by the City University of New York (CUNY). Contact: [email protected] i Women’s Sexual Fantasies in Context: The Emotional Content of Sexual Fantasies, Psychological and Interpersonal Distress, and Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships By Sarah Constantine A dissertation submitted to the Graduate Faculty in Psychology in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy, The City University of New York 2017 ii © 2017 SARAH CONSTANTINE All Rights Reserved iii Women’s Sexual Fantasies in Context: The Emotional Content of Sexual Fantasies, Psychological and Interpersonal Distress, and Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships By Sarah Constantine This manuscript has been read and accepted for the Graduate Faculty in Psychology in satisfaction of the dissertation requirement for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy. May 16th, 2017 Margaret Rosario ___________________________________________ Chair of Examining Committee Richard Bodnar ___________________________________________ Executive Officer Supervisory Committee Diana Diamond Lissa Weinstein Diana Puñales Steven Tuber THE CITY UNIVERSITY OF NEW YORK iv Abstract Women’s Sexual Fantasies in Context: The Emotional Content of Sexual Fantasies, Psychological and Interpersonal Distress, and Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships by Sarah Constantine The Graduate Center and City College, City University of New York Adviser: Margaret Rosario, Ph.D. -
Chapter One: Fantasy Versus Reality
UNIVERSITEIT GENT 2006-2007 ASPECTS OF POWER IN THE PROSE OF MARY GAITSKILL FROM A PSYCHOANALYTIC PERSPECTIVE WITH FOCUS ON SADOMASOCHISM PROMOTOR Verhandeling voorgelegd PROF. DR. GERT BUELENS aan de Faculteit Letteren en Wijsbegeerte voor het verkrijgen van de graad van licentiaat in de taal- en letterkunde: Germaanse talen door ALISE VAN HECKE - JAMESON ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I could not have completed this thesis on my own and there are many people who, both directly and indirectly, have aided me in my efforts. In particular, I would like to extend my sincere gratitude to my promoter, Prof. Dr. Gert Buelens, not only for his initial interest in my topic, but also for his guidance, patience, suggestions, and critical commentary, all of which were both motivational and beneficial. I also wish to thank my good friends Elke, Johan, Kathy, Lucie, and Veerle, my brother, Ralph, and my future brother-in-law, Jeff, for their emotional support and encouragement during this trying year. My sister, Annette, deserves recognition for reading my very first, very rough draft and for keeping me sane through our telephone chats. I wish to honor the memory of my Aunt Lynne (November 1937-April 2007) who always believed in me and encouraged me to continue my education. My husband, Omer, receives extra special thanks, as he originally discovered Mary Gaitskill and planted the idea which has since grown into this thesis. Words cannot express my gratitude for his unending support and patience. I thank him for reading many of my previous drafts and offering thoughtful advice. I have also benefited from his computer skills, which saved me much precious time.