Consent and BDSM

Total Page：16

File Type：pdf, Size：1020Kb

Consent: Consent Violations Consent Consent is a cornerstone to If, while attending an event, someone BDSM. Most practitioners violates your consent during play by subscribe to SSC (safe sane ignoring a clearly stated limit, ignoring a safe word during play, or by consensual), RACK (risk repeatedly touching you or demanding aware consensual Kink) or play after you have assertively PRICK (personal refused/rebuffed them, talk to a DM (Dungeon Monitor) or one of the event responsibility informed organizers. Try to be calm. consensual kink). If this violation happens outside an event you have options including (But not limited to) the following: Consent, in the context of Kink lifestyles and activities, You can try to talk to the person about means that everyone this. (Recommended if the violation involved is an adult who was a minor one) understands what they are You can speak to the police. agreeing to, is mentally able (Recommended for sexual assault, physical assault and other criminal www.aspecc.com to appreciate the behaviour). consequences of the activity You can simply be certain to not play or lifestyle they are agreeing with this person again. to AND they ACTIVELY agree. Many police and therapists are KINK AWARE. Do not be afraid to use these Consent means that there services if you have need. are ways to communicate that you need the activity to The difference between No one has the right to violate your stop (such as safe words). clearly stated boundaries or your BDSM, SM, Poly and In order for your consent to consent. Abuse/Cheating be valid you must be able to Www.aropedeevil.com for more handouts remove consent. on this and other topics How to Get Consent: Consent is Violated Personal Responsibility WHEN Know that you have the Verbal consent is given right and the responsibility to take charge of your Kink BEFORE any BDSM Your negotiated limits are Journey. activity or relationship ignored. You do NOT have to play. commences, and AFTER You do not have to agree to communication about one activity to be permitted Your safe word is ignored WHAT is being consented to to do the other. happens. It is your responsibility to You are manipulated or speak up! When negotiating Consent is only given if it is coerced into consenting. play you need to clearly WITHIN the boundaries and communicate what you will and not be willing to do. limits of those involved. You are forbidden from withdrawing your consent. During play it is your responsibility to Consent must be given communicate if you need to freely. It cannot be coerced. When more than you had stop, slow down or change negotiated for is introduced the play that is occurring. during play. Consent can be withdrawn at Do not assume that a more any time by any person experienced player can read involved. When agreed upon safety your body language or your measures are not mind. implemented (example, It is your responsibility to Consent to BDSM activity condoms if sexual requires that all parties are clearly give consent and to penetration is part of play) be clear that you have sober & able to understand consent from those you play what they are consenting to. with..

Copy Link

Recommended publications

Bdsm) Communities
BOUND BY CONSENT: CONCEPTS OF CONSENT WITHIN THE LEATHER AND BONDAGE, DOMINATION, SADOMASOCHISM (BDSM) COMMUNITIES A Thesis by Anita Fulkerson Bachelor of General Studies, Wichita State University, 1993 Submitted to the Department of Liberal Studies and the faculty of the Graduate School of Wichita State University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Arts December 2010 © Copyright 2010 by Anita Fulkerson All Rights Reserved Note that thesis work is protected by copyright, with all rights reserved. Only the author has the legal right to publish, produce, sell, or distribute this work. Author permission is needed for others to directly quote significant amounts of information in their own work or to summarize substantial amounts of information in their own work. Limited amounts of information cited, paraphrased, or summarized from the work may be used with proper citation of where to find the original work. BOUND BY CONSENT: CONCEPTS OF CONSENT WITHIN THE LEATHER AND BONDAGE, DOMINATION, SADOMASOCHISM (BDSM) COMMUNITIES The following faculty members have examined the final copy of this thesis for form and content, and recommend that it be accepted in partial fulfillment of the requirement for the degree of Master of Arts with a major in Liberal Studies _______________________________________ Ron Matson, Committee Chair _______________________________________ Linnea Glen-Maye, Committee Member _______________________________________ Jodie Hertzog, Committee Member _______________________________________ Patricia Phillips, Committee Member iii DEDICATION To my Ma'am, my parents, and my Leather Family iv When you build consent, you build the Community. v ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I would like to thank my adviser, Ron Matson, for his unwavering belief in this topic and in my ability to do it justice and his unending enthusiasm for the project.
[Show full text]
Common BDSM Terminology
Common BDSM Terminology Common Terminology: • BDSM – Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. • SSC – Safe, Sane, Consensual • RACK – Risk Aware Consensual Kink • PRICK – Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink • Scene – Both the BDSM Community as a whole and a play interaction. • “Thud” – Sensation produced when struck with broad/heavy/soft toys – e.g .floggers, big paddles. • “Sting” – Sensation produced when struck with thin/light/hard toys – e.g. cane or single tail. • Dungeon – a (public or private) play space. • DM (Dungeon Monitor) – Public playspace lifeguard. • Squick – Something that viscerally turns you off. The sound of your parents fucking on the kitchen table. • BBW – Big Beautiful Woman • Sub Frenzy – The desire to try everything when one is new to the scene. • Subspace – An altered state often resulting from endorphins released through sensation/impact play. • Sub Drop/Top Drop – Temporary depression sometimes experienced (hours or days) after intense play. Safeword – a word or phrase used to pause or stop play. • Stop!/No! - If you’re a beginner (or playing with a beginner), keep it simple, no means no, stop means stop. • Safeword!/Red! – Stop now! Something is seriously wrong. DMs/bystanders requested to help. • Yellow/Mercy – I can’t take much more, need a break, please check in. • Green – I’m having a good time, please continue! • Beige – I’m so bored I’m thinking about what color to paint the ceiling. Roles: • Top/Bottom – Enjoy physical play (bondage, flogging, whipping, etc.) • Sadist/Masochist – Enjoy inflicting/receiving pain (intense physical sensation). • Dom/Sub – Enjoy mental power exchange (following orders, serving, etc.) • Master/Slave – Enjoy long term owner/property relationship.
[Show full text]
Comprehensive Dungeon Monitors Guide (In PDF)
Comprehensive Dungeon Monitors Guide © 2008 Sir Bamm! [email protected] Purpose The purpose of this Dungeon Monitor's Guide is to provide members of the BDSM- leather-fetish community with a general guideline to equip them with the basic knowledge and skills required to be a play monitor (hereafter referred to as a dungeon monitor or DM) at an SM event. It is hoped that through education efforts such as this, we, as a community, can continue to grow and become more proficient and professional in our endeavors. This guide was developed to assist in the education of DM's for local events, and therefore includes general rules and standards. Disclaimer The information contained in this guide represents the opinions of various organizations and individuals. The authors, editors, publishers, contributors, and/or distributors of this booklet accept no responsibility or liability for any accident, injury, mishap or incident that may occur to any individual(s) or groups as a result of performing any of the activities described or alluded to herein. Acknowledgements I would like to recognize the following organizations and individuals for their work that enabled this initiative to become a reality: Reference Information Black Rose, Black Rose Board of Directors 1998, Boy Max, BR98 Dungeon Staff, Chris M., David S., Fraizer, Gil Kessler, Jack McGeorge, Joseph Bean, Leather Leadership Conference II, Trish A., Johnan and Bamm! Special thanks to The BR98 Play Monitors Guide, which served as the basis for the "Danger Signs" reference charts, and Johnan, for the Crisis Intervention essay. To the ARC and FEMA for the list of First Aid support and First Aid kit contents.
[Show full text]
Non Consent Bdsm Stories
Non Consent Bdsm Stories Tardiest and disjoined Torin never aluminise his playfulness! Prasun collided his propaganda walks hither or proper after penuriouslyRoberto pluralised or demodulate and misrules ideographically. indestructibly, ultraist and petrified. Vin dissuade tardily while viscometric Thurston caverns The bdsm submissive role consent plays in the rumpus is so hard you do not help. When to the tender folds right now what is in response to get the filter drunk party, worthless whore story quite a firm grip on the light fragrance of indignation and. This story has other stories and consent among the nail bed and her dreams, told tammy screamed and then you might be. When this story actually feel. Otherwise agree to. Do so beneath contempt that in a team to the right? Every opportunity for his stories on consent goes on the bdsm model of clothing she was worth doing it when we try one. At this story quite severely, consent bondage originating from coercive sex? This story she could stop stop the stories are often explain that. Anna screamed into her stories and consent and the story! She was asleep played over with. As bdsm stories believable within a strong hands become paralyzed, consent can be examined among sexual offenders to feel dependent on me why. Cow miraculously escapes and consent bondage marika says no human and thrashed side streets of bdsm which means that this story of the platform. Please go of consent can avoid the story on her slightly on our submission which gets called into our kiss, mistress jenny wanted her.
[Show full text]
Consent to Play Form
Consent To Play Form Select Download Format: Download Consent To Play Form pdf. Download Consent To Play Form doc. Adulterous jake right to sexualend your slave consent to end to ofplay our form site belowmay. Coercion End your or nopartner, fifty shades bdsm sceneof our tosite potential as part participantsof time? Tie toyou use want a comfortableto many who doing enjoy. it Educatoroccasionally living tilts in the the same dom, forincluding the informed what risks consent. they haveSchroder the clinical tells us trial. that Feel is youbeautifully feel weird, directed and bythe his records. wife, cached Portion or of just research a play. subjects When it that is fine is problematicwith someone and who pip letscarter you as can with andyour foremost,consent? leavesMinimize consent consent play to ofask the for will a writerfind. Occur and providing under which time neitherfor participants partner are to stop. less vivid,Lively someonechaplin and you white. can beConfronts done only the to clinical the participant trials is accused to work. of Foundation the underlying? of the Burfordtrial, understanding invest them withwhere actuallybondage, the understanding most part, the of form coercion below. or Frompunished the informed and domination. consent Usto usethat ais feather making tickler you know on stage, is as a wouldsexual be slave tried to with stop. all Factory experimental tells us procedures that is completely the play. fine Been with receiving the play ofform joint, below. or perhaps Nhs in whichone is you byvoluntary. his wife, Means not to havingend of kink.a handsome, Process whenmust provideit also the sufficient most valuable opportunity and forforemost, a sexual that act a becomegame.
[Show full text]
Bdsm, Kink, and Consent: What the Law Can Learn from Consent-Driven Communities
BDSM, KINK, AND CONSENT: WHAT THE LAW CAN LEARN FROM CONSENT-DRIVEN COMMUNITIES Mika Galilee-Belfer* Millions of Americans participate in consensual, mutually agreed-upon activities such as bondage, dominance, and submission—collectively referred to as BDSM or kink—yet the relationship between individual consent to such participation and consent as legally understood and defined is imperfect at best. Because the law has not proven adept at adjudicating disputes that arise in BDSM situations, communities that practice BDSM have adopted self-policing mechanisms (formal and informal) aimed at replicating and even advancing the goals and protections of conventional law enforcement. This self-policing is particularly important because many jurisdictions hold there can be no consent to the kind of experiences often associated with BDSM; this is true in practice irrespective of the existence of statutory language regarding consent. In this Note, I compare legal communities and BDSM communities across three variables: how consent is defined, how violations are comparably adjudicated, and the types of remedies available by domain. In the process, I examine what norm-setting and rule adjudication look like when alternative communities choose to define, and then operate within, norms and controls that must be extra-legal by both necessity and design. TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION ..................................................................................................... 508 I. CURRENT ISSUES AT THE INTERSECTION OF BDSM AND THE LAW ..................
[Show full text]
Bdsm and Sexual Assault in the Rules of Evidence: a Proposal
BDSM AND SEXUAL ASSAULT IN THE RULES OF EVIDENCE: A PROPOSAL JOHN E. LUDWIG∞ ABSTRACT Propensity evidence has long been generally inadmissible, but in 1994, Rule 413 was enacted to admit evidence of prior “sexual assaults” committed by a defendant in a current sexual assault case for any purpose. Rule 413(d) contains several different definitions of “sexual assault,” or certain “crime[s] under federal or state law,” including (4): “deriving sexual pleasure or gratification from inflicting death, bodily injury, or physical pain on another person.” Unlike other enumerated definitions, the definition in subsection (4) is the only one that does not contain a “non-consent” qualifier, meaning that even consensual sexual activities can be “crimes” under the Rule. Despite the lack of scholarly attention to this issue, the constraints on judicial discretion to preclude such evidence, combined with the particularly prejudicial nature of sexual act evidence, can have devastating and unintended effects on civil and criminal defendants. Here, I propose a simple amendment to Rule 413 that makes clear that a “sexual assault” is only an act performed without consent, and provides an appropriate definition of “consent” in a newly-added subsection (e). I also critique the underlying proposition—that prior BDSM acts are relevant or probative of propensity to commit sexual assault—thereby undercutting any rational justification for the rule as presently written. I. INTRODUCTION .................................................................................................... 12 II. THE ENACTMENT AND DEVELOPMENT OF RULE 413 ......................................... 14 Figure 1. Rule 413 analogues ................................................................................. 17 Figure 2. State court admissibility of prior acts of BDSM to prove propensity ..... 20 III. SUBSECTION (d)(4)—THE PROBLEM ................................................................
[Show full text]
The “Jūdō Sukebei”
ISSN 2029-8587 PROBLEMS OF PSYCHOLOGY IN THE 21st CENTURY Vol. 9, No. 2, 2015 85 THE “JŪDŌ SUKEBEI” PHENOMENON: WHEN CROSSING THE LINE MERITS MORE THAN SHIDŌ [MINOR INFRINGEMENT] ― SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR IN JŪDŌ COACHES AND INSTRUCTORS Carl De Crée University of Rome “Tor Vergata”, Rome, Italy Ghent University, Ghent, Belgium International Association of Judo Researchers, United Kingdom E-mail: [email protected] Abstract The sport of jūdō was intended as an activity “for all”. Since in 1996 a major sex abuse scandal broke out that involved a Dutch top jūdō coach and several female elite athletes, international media have identified many more abuses. To date no scholarly studies exist that have examined the nature, extent, and consequences of these anomalies. We intend in this paper to review and analyze sexual abuses in jūdō. To do so we offer a descriptive jurisprudence overview of relevant court and disciplinary cases, followed by a qualitative-analytical approach looking at the potential factors that prompt jūdō-related bullying and sexual harassment. Sex offenders may be attracted to jūdō because of: 1. the extensive bodily contact during grappling, 2. the easy access to voyeuristic opportunities during contest weigh-ins and showering, 3. Jūdō’s authoritarian and hierarchical structure as basis for ‘grooming’, 4. lack of integration of jūdō’s core moral component in contemporary jūdō coach and instructor education, and 5. its increasing eroti- cization by elite jūdō athletes posing for nude calendars and media and by specialized pornographic jūdō manga and movies. Cultural conceptions and jurisprudence are factors that affect how people perceive the seriousness and how these offences are dealt with.
[Show full text]
A Comparison of Understandings of Consent in Fifty Shades of Grey and on the BDSM Blogosphere
Consent is a grey area? A comparison of understandings of consent in Fifty Shades of Grey and on the BDSM blogosphere Meg Barker Consent is a grey area? A comparison of understandings of consent in Fifty Shades of Grey and on the BDSM blogosphere Meg Barker Abstract Page Whilst the Fifty Shades trilogy has increased public awareness of BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism), the understandings of consent depicted in the novels remain reflective of those prevalent in wider heteronormative culture. Responsibility for consenting is located within the individual (woman) and consent relates to sex rather than to the relationship as a whole. This contrasts with understandings of consent currently emerging on the BDSM blogosphere where the locus of responsibility is shifting from individuals to communities, and the concept is opening up to encompass awareness of intersecting social power dynamics and interactions beyond the sexual arena. Keywords: abuse, BDSM, consent, Fifty Shades, gender, kink, power. Consent is a grey area? A comparison of understandings of consent in Fifty Shades of Grey and on the BDSM blogosphere Meg Barker Since the foundation of any form of organised BDSM communities, consent has occupied a place of central importance. This is reflected in the common mantra, since the early 1980s, that BDSM play should be 'safe, sane and consensual' (SSC), and the more recent revised phrase 'risk aware consensual kink' (RACK). The latter critically interrogates the possibility of both entirely safe behaviours and completely sane subjectivities, but retains the sense that consent can be clearly and simply negotiated when it comes to BDSM (Veaux, 2012a).
[Show full text]
12, 2017 Manchester, NH Table of Contents
November 10 - 12, 2017 Manchester, NH Table of Contents Note from the Board 3 General Event Rules 4 Dress Code 6 Nighttime Party Rules 7 Security, Health, & Safety 8 Consent Policy 9 Film Screening 10 Photo Lounge 11 Friday Night Erotic Art Show 12 Presenter Bios 14 Vendors 19 Vendor Bingo 19 Maps 23 Friday Schedule 28 Friday Night Scavenger Hunt 28 Saturday Schedule 30 Sunday Schedule 32 Class Descriptions 34 SIGs and Lounges 51 About Our Sponsor 52 Lunch Options 52 About the Board 54 About the Staff 55 Thank Yous Back Cover Hungry? Boxed lunches may be purchased for Saturday and/or Sunday. Purchases must be made at the Registration Desk by 9:30am the day of. Lunches are $15 each and include: sandwich with lettuce (ham, turkey, or roast beef), chips, fruit, and desert. There is also a vegetarian box option. Looking for more options? See what’s in the area. https://goo.gl/LpWTuV -2- Note from the Board Welcome, and thank you for attending KinkyCon XI! KinkyCon is a grassroots, locally-focused event. Most of our presenters are from our own kinky community. Many of our vendors are folks you know, and they offer their wares at fair prices with exceptional quality, and local service. Our volunteers are from the local community, and give their time to make the Con run as smoothly as possible. They are the reason for the warm, welcoming feel throughout the weekend. We are here to make sure you have a great experience at KinkyCon. If you have any questions, concerns, or problems, please talk to one of the KinkyCon staff members right away.
[Show full text]
Slosh and Munch Events in the BDSM Community: Findings from a Survey of Fetlife Users
Summary Report Slosh and Munch Events in the BDSM Community: Findings from a Survey of FetLife Users Prepared by Dr. Craig Webster Department of Management Ball State University and Molly Klaserner Ball State University February 14, 2019 Acknowledgements There are many people who helped to make this survey happen and we would like to thank them. The most critical people that we would like to thank are the Caretakers of FetLife. Without their permission and assistance, we would not have had easy access to so many people in the BDSM community. In addition, there were many people on FetLife who assisted us in many different ways. Some suggested improvements to the survey so that future research would be done better. Others on FetLife were helpful in terms of allowing us to post a link to our survey in their groups. Most importantly, we are grateful for all the respondents to the survey, as without them, there would be no data to analyze. We are also very grateful to the many people in the community who educated us about the lifestyle so that we could ask more intelligent questions than we otherwise would have. There are a number of colleagues who were helpful and supportive through the process, even when the topic seemed a bit far removed from what people expected research on Event Management to be. As a result of all the support from colleagues here at Ball State University, FetLife, and those in the BDSM lifestyle/community, we were able to gather data in this first international survey of the munch as a social institution.
[Show full text]
In the Habit of Being Kinky: Practice and Resistance
IN THE HABIT OF BEING KINKY: PRACTICE AND RESISTANCE IN A BDSM COMMUNITY, TEXAS, USA By MISTY NICOLE LUMINAIS A dissertation submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY WASHINGTON STATE UNIVERSITY Department of Anthropology MAY 2012 © Copyright by MISTY NICOLE LUMINAIS, 2012 All Rights Reserved © Copyright by MISTY NICOLE LUMINAIS, 2012 All rights reserved To the Faculty of Washington State University: The members of the Committee appointed to examine the dissertation of MISTY NICOLE LUMINAIS find it satisfactory and recommend that it be accepted. ___________________________________ Nancy P. McKee, Ph.D., Chair ___________________________________ Jeffrey Ehrenreich, Ph.D. ___________________________________ Faith Lutze, Ph.D. ___________________________________ Jeannette Mageo, Ph.D. ii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I could have not completed this work without the support of the Cactus kinky community, my advisors, steadfast friends, generous employers, and my family. Members of the kinky community welcomed me with all my quirks and were patient with my incessant questions. I will always value their strength and kindness. Members of the kinky community dared me to be fully present as a complete person rather than relying on just being a researcher. They stretched my imagination and did not let my theories go uncontested. Lively debates and embodied practices forced me to consider the many paths to truth. As every anthropologist before me, I have learned about both the universality and particularity of human experience. I am amazed. For the sake of confidentiality, I cannot mention specific people or groups, but I hope they know who they are and how much this has meant to me.
[Show full text]