VOLUME 4 CLARKSVILLE, TENNESSEE, APRIL 11, 1923 NUMBEP 20 CAIN SPEAKS S. P. U.LOSES OPENER FilKAPPA TO THE "Y" Bethel Wins Slow Game 7-0 SORORITY Bethel( College from Mi~cKenzie, THII) INNING Tenn., took the openingu game of Bethel-D enny, fist upi, don-1 The imemlber s(If the Y. M. C.A. A New Student Organization the season on Shearer Feld onlFri- hits. ElinIor' fies out to Tilll- hleard anl excelent address last (lay. Wet field prevenltedl the play- I on. Miarshall gets safe on Breed's Suilday whien Mr. IT. V. Cain gave 1During tihe past monIlthl we ing of the game schedu led for erori. IDenny scores. Marshall a sho~rt talk. He spoke on Acts hleard a rumorl 1'tihat a new society Thursday iandlslowedl up)thle Fi- Mteals second). Wrigiht goes (oit at 6 wilt thou have me wals being formed~lanllings1s. Thle 9: "'What (lay g-aime to a great eten~it. Al- firist. (d(1?' MIr. Redhe(adl read the scrip- truth camie out recenltly when the though the field was slow and One run~, one hilt, one error. tulle lessoni froml Acts 9. grades for March were po~sted, miuddly, both teams showved somie S. IP. IT.-Johns grounds (outto Whlat w~ilt thioui have meI (1(? and1( we saw the naimie Phi Kapp~a 11ice fieldlinlgandl the pr1ospects for short. Rennie do~ubles to left cen- Pallwas abioult thirity year's of age leadling all thle lest. F101n1 that us are not discourag~ing for tihe seir. Helnry goes out, tirdi to when lhe askedl this qufestioni. We monIlthily statemlenlt it aplpear's that rest of tihe schedule. The tigers' first, wilie Rennie goes to thiirdl. conver'- thle memllber'ship con~sists (If Misses all knlow the stor'y (f tile inablit tohitin the pinch kept Bred flies out to right. Cumlberson, D~ority, 1Durrett, Or- sio1n (f this llan. As IPall:skCed 1hem scoreless, while all Bethel's No 111n1,.onie hit, 110) Crlos. cclli, iattersonl, Nihaul, aild Mrs. thils(question11 so 11usf each(If 11s hits were bunched so as to coun t FOU"RTH INNING .A tkullson. ask it. We are it, God's hands(1, the most. Bethiel-Ried flies out to rigit. We.Ctake ipla1suriniiwIelcoiling aind are deeenli~llt 1111011Hillfor The way it went: this n~ew frateilnal group illthle all our1 blessings,5foi' life itself. FIRIST INNING P arnell goes out, short to first. Whlen we ask tis4quelstionl we WXardl goes to thir(I wheni Jests' al- Unilversitv. Even the Clii Oniegas, lows his sinlgle to go through his whlo mullst lnecessalrly see ill them have to sur~render' (111 lives enlirile- hd]forced Elinlor at secondl but lc~s. Thompson flies out to Fil- strong rivals, are glad thley have ly to (Godbefolre we call really anr- stol1eCsecond1Iiitiseif. Wright ley. organized, for, they say, the com- swer it. If ou~r lives are surren- struick out. M~itchll l fied~ out to No runs, one hlit, onle error. petition will mlake life mfore inter- delred toI God we acknlowledlge Je - (enter. 8. P. I'.-Jesty safe onl Wright's esting for' ever'yone. suis as Lordl aid subint to the will No runs, 1n0 hits, 11o errors. err'or.. Culberson, see- As far as we 1ha1eU'been l111e 1to of God. One hlas but11lo(, 1o(k at S. P. U.-Jennie safe oak, flies out to le o11(. Finley strikes out. Jesty go- dliscover, thiis Inew society inltends the life ofi Paul and( uwill at onc(e Wrights error'. H enry gets safe to petit ionl Alpha Pil, one of tihe see thlat hiis was aI surrendoer ed on1 Minti, ILenlnie going to third. in~g to secondlwhen. lParniell drops tile hall. Jesty goes to third 011 oldest and strongest sororities in life,.lie1had(1sen the lighlt froml heinry out stealing' seconid. Leni- (atchers error)l. Thompson grounlds thec coun~tr'y, whlich Mirs. Atkinson Hea veil, le hidao5(hleard the iec 1miakes second out in at tempted were' cut to second. blecausle a ilelthel (If while iln volice of Jesius. Thlere two) squeeze play. lBredsingles 1but1 No 1111ns,110o11its. three errors. (Uoucier College. Baltimlolre. A reasonls for Pauls (conversion1; lie is left 011 fir's(; when Jests fies r'oom lil thie Castle lois beenl wasconsiostlolS(f 111issill, and1 hle (lut to center. FIFTh INNING u riled over to the I Kapilas caught a.,1isionilof Jesus. These No I'll 115, oneChit, one err'or. and( fr'om thle soIunlds5heard iln that are tlhe only reasonls for thle 11011 SECO(NID INNING 11. tol rigid. Rennie goes in for da y vicinlity we im~a ginle this 1(10111is I'Woruoiii ll (of to sur rendl~erin1g Beth el-hied l gi 0111(1out to -jhna(11111..a~ 1i for Rennie. Eli- beingJgconlver'tedl into a Cl eoplatr's' their lives. Tley mullst become short. Parnell stiikes out. Ward n1o)1sin~gles, but goes out (In Mar- dlen !Success fo youl conisciouls (If thIi ir sill, an11(Imust heats out a. lilt to short. Thoimp- shllI's fieldler's (choice. Marsha1ll (atchl a. visi(Inl (f the sinn~er's Lord son l ties (outto Henry. stealss5conlld. AVright strikes out. andl lSavior. No runs, onielilt.,11(1errorsl. M'Iitchiell flles out to Finley, Who The sulrrendoeredl life is a life (If S. 1'. IT.-Ciii erson groundus made a sl)ectacullar' catch. CIII OMEGAS usefulness, coInltetment and~ vic- out1 to third'~. Finley walkas 1)1t1is One 1111,two hits, 110 errors. tor'y, and til erilan who lhas sur- ouit interfering with M~arshall. S. 1P. 1.-McLeaii andl Hall fly rendered to Christ is sure of sal- GIVE LUNCHEON rI:hp.1 1 1 5 1 gets safe on Mai'slall's (lit to righlt. Rienn~ie goes (lut. i)en- vation. Let 11s ask ourselves the err,'bu, lit goes5 out 011 McLeari's ill' to Marshall. quiestioll, "What would thou1 Ihave fielder's choice. No runs, no hiits, no errors. Memphis Alumnae Interested No runs1, 110 hits, oInCelror. (Contilned on page 3) aill t hat is wvorthl while in life, if Anl evenit(If great. interest of nlot life itself. host week-and all evenlt that Mr. Cain gave a filletalk and Y.M.C.A. COMMITTEES STANDING OF lilakes us realize that Mtenltdmis is the fellows all enjoyed it. not over' tangibhe, but still neal' at (iomie-was thle(Chi Omega lunch- ANNOUNCED THE GROUPS eon. The luncheon was given to ALPHA PHI c'elebrlate Founlders' a)y, and tile Riepor'ts for tile past. mlonthl's hIono~rees of the occasion were the The newly elected 1' . .A work show a general Ilixull of tihe mlemb~ers (of Kappa Beta Chlapter. EPSILON MEETS officers with the new Cabinet an- organlizationis inltile race for tihe Kappa. eta was well reprlesenit- 110un1ce the following appoint- Stylus ChlbSchlolarsh1ip Cup to edl by Mhisses Mary Frances Peniie- mlelits as cominlitteelllell The Ivey PittmanillCihapter ot be 'iveln at the endl of the year to ha ker, Irene Cl ardy, Sarahl Or- AlpIha Pi. Epsilon meIt iniits leg- Tile Cahiet-'V7est, (Gardner, theCgroup halving the highlest aver- g'ainl, Frances Edwards, lola ular ,C55ionl Wednesday afternoon, Miolins, O'Neal, Lapsley, D~avis. age. Pi'i lpia, tile IiW _sorority Smith, amnd Elizabeth Ellis. April 4, at 3 :1Sigma (lance. Feiwvick, EIig. Ihist or'y, Phil., l'sy. Seavey, Bible.t While solvie o1hr fellow staris. An event of inlterest 1to(o1d stu- Flinley, lM~ath. Nettl, Sociology, Span ishi. I It isn't the victoryV after all, dents anid friends of the inlstitu- I" ciiiistel'. Bible. Econ., Eng'., But the fight thait thle brother tion was tile marriage on We(llles- Mati. SmoalI l, udc.,IistoIry, I'sy., Soci -1 makes; (lay, March 28, in New Orleans, Fort. (?ireek.,1 's\.('lloty'* oil ogy. Theliiain, who, div en aga inast hle ofMiss Emily Dinwdiduh l;aetno. Bible. wall, ,ter of Dr. and Mrs. Albert B. Diii Still stands erect and takes widohie, formerly of this city and (loostieC,Bible. SmiithI, .J., Englisl, IHistory IV, The blows of fate. with his lieadl coiinectedl withi the Faculty of 1Haden, Biology. (, reek: I1'. Litin, Sociology, History VI. hteld high, Son t h westerni. Bleeding, anid bruised, and pale, Greek I. Tabier, ('., Bible, History. Is the maun who'll win in the by Hall, Bile. Taliei, F.. Bible, Econ., Eng., henry. English. andl by, Mfath. We are glad to anlnounice thtat Hod(1gson1 . Bible, Biology, Eng., For lie i sn't afraid to fail. I sciv, 1'dulc., 1iVatli, Sociology. the Faculty granted the Booster's It's the bumps you get. anlldie (hek, History. W~alker, IBile, EBig., Frenchi. (h Club lpetition toi 1o01( all exaini- jolts you get, H~ow~ard,. Economnics. nations lprior to the Commence- Ihiinillirvs. olgy. Anid the shioeks that youlrio rage ('heim.,. Math, Spiam- iient exercises. Schoo(l Cends WVilsoii, L., Edlul(., Ihistory. stand~s, ishl. Splan- .Tuiie 1, 110w. ishi. r791 ( ho111r1 of sorrow and1(1vain re- .leslt.;', igl ishi, (geololg, Math, gret, Sl~a 1111. ~\ ise, B ible, limathi. 'The pize'/ int escapes your handls, Wither'spooni, IBible, Econ. TChat test your mettle and prove JAMONG OUR ALUMNI yoIfuworth; for living expenlses. and11 onC ceiit STICK IT OUT It isn't the blows you (deal, eci('I for educnationi. recreation and But the blows yore take oiiil tis g i vig. Manyl will lbe inlterestedl to learni goodllearth \\ lienv(your world's about to fall. of the entrance (If Mir. In a little book. entitled "How Win. Me- That~~ , shiowvs ifvyoulr'sItffis, Aind your back's against the wall, IClanahan inito pulblic life. Mr. ieal. Other People (GetAhead,'' the gov- ''Teania-ork.'' 1Whlen you're facing wild retreat McClanahtan is not a graduate of ernmen~it savings systIeii is endelav- anld utte'r rouit 1this institutioni, but left after orin tgo( initeirest thle Amilericanl the \V\heni it seems flatt iauiglit can ctmipletioni of his sophomore year THE THINKER peopfle, esp~ecially- those wit Ii ilodl- stopI it 1to studly law at Cuumberland erate incomes. ITni- rTle dirudlge isiay fret and1( tiniker', (let. a grip uipon yo~ursel f'ad versity. He only stayed for a Alongsd its designation of a stick it out. Or labo(r with lusty blows. shiort tilme at Cuumberland and af'- ''tighit wadl'it p111e1teShe splend- But. back (If lhin stand~s thle 1tCr his three years of dru'ldgery in thrift, who~ is described as a "man thinker, 1the classroonm "Bill" wont hloarse who sav-es nothing', slpelds 5S Tile clear-eyed man who knows. lBut a niiai with pluck amnd grit 1to pass into a. quiiet andl serene cenuts (If every d1o11ar'oni living ex- Might (f the roaring boiler, W'illhld(1 his own unltil the filial o~ld age. lelises, Force of the engine's thrust, 40 cents on recreatini, and shioult. Little did lie thIinik that lie, niow one cenlt each for educaetioin and1 Strength of the sweating toiler, Iin the snarling teeth of sorrow. a college or colleges bred loan, living. Greatly in thee we trust. Hle w~ill laugh and say "tomnorrow would be called upon to direct The thrift v~ Tihe But back (If them standis the man is designated luck will change-I guess I'll fthe affairs of 0o1r' great coIlmmon- schemer. as one who saves 20 cenits of every- wealth. Little did lie realize 'his The thiiniker who (1rives 1tlin gs dotllar', exp1eni5 0 cenits on listing cgi'cat pIowxer, which might have through. and ive cenlts each on educatioii, TIhie luc(k (does change, you know 1mlanlifested itself in aniy field into Black of the job-the dreaimer. givilig 1and0recreation. it, 1which lie miight enter. Little dlid Whow's making thle (dreamlco~me In its forewyord the governmnt All reco~rd~s lprove aiid show- it 1lie think that withlin. the course true. salys the book aims to show thle Andltheme liln-ho win are thle mei ((If a yeatr -his friends, whom lie -The C'oncor'd .1 iqro.', necessity for' exercising care and who strangle dloubt, left at his Alma Mater, would be prudi~eniee in the mlanlagement of Who hesitate and serv-e, 1justified in referring to him as r'esouirces, the beneficial effects (If Whio've got. thei guts and inrve, (one of the h Il(--Whier'e is voi' soul ? nioted alumni of "Stouth- savinlg, - how to differentiate be- Andl whose mnotto) is "Play hard wester'i." Buit, Wise-Hleres Mine. (Plointing the inev-itable will tween good(1aniid bad i nvestinents, andi lslick it out."' 1happen. to the blottomltof his foot.) thle danmger signs of cedelit scemnes, Bill MIcClanahianlwhomi so manly anid the essen~tials of sound(1ill' And when you think you can't (ofits kniow, is "Where there is a still. some-C last 1now a Representa- v(estmlent. 1tive oInewill show yoIu the way." Ion g. of Ti1pton County and his Filiall}', as a conlservative means Or you 1thiink when things go l lhace of residence has changed o~f pulttinlg good advice into ef- wr'on g ffroii Brownsville to our Capitol. THE TIGHT WAD AND THE fect, it presenits the advantages of Thalt yio'e got to quit 1101 wait The people of his dlistr'ict ar'e THRIFTY MAN rleasuiry Saving Certificates andl the final bout. Ip~leasedl with his wvork, and no reconenlts inivestment in tieni Siie, smile at your beholders, dloumbt lie n-ill ascend tihe ladder of A "1tight wad" is designated by as a step ini thrift and saving, Clench your teeth and square your success as rapidly in the future the governient as a muan who WhIichi it says ar'e the habits essen- shoul ders, as lie has in tihe past, for' "Mc" saves GO cents of every (lollar and tial to ind~ividulal success and nde- And fight! You'll win, if you but 1has never been inclined to allow expends .37 cents of the balance plend~en ce. stick it out. (opportunity to pass him by. THE SOU'WESTER

piobably associate on the tip of BASEBALL GAME INTRODUCTIONS his tongue, aii lno situation such (Continued from page i. THE SUNDAY PAPER as we have cited above is likely to OCCu'. SIXTH INNING It's funny about the Sunday pa HANDLED WITH EASE in introducing a marricel lady Bethel- lIiiet and Parnell giroundi to pitcher. Ward walks per. No member of the family to a married gentleman of the op- seenies to me interested in the As w-e announced' inl thec last positc sex one should use as few and goes to second on Rennie's er- ror'. Thompson goes out at part in which they should take an issue of this per'iodical we shall wor(ds as iossible. The lady in first. interest. continue our1 discussion (informrr- the case siioull be asked if the No runs, no hits, one error. Frinstance, father gets it first al), of pirobiahb- tire greatest soc- gentleman mIRay he presented. If S. P. U.--envy flies out to iighit. Jesty strikes out. arid selects his own particular sec- ial probleir of the day, namely E7ti- she refuses, then ask the gentle- tions. And what do you think it quette. W'e are forced to recognize uran if lie objects to meeting the No runs, no hits, no errors. SEVENTH INNING is? No, it isn't what you think this in the superlative since so lady. His answer is considered at all. It's the comic supplement! many citizens are concerned with final. If either party runs, the Bethel1lDenny grounds out to Rennie. Elinor singles but goes Ie casts the news sections aside it in their daily as well as their police should be called at once and arid is soon chuckling over'the nocturnal. assoc'i at ions. One otf the remaining one arrested for (it on1Marshall's fielder's choice. Marshall goes to second on I-len- antics of Chester and Andy the foremrost phases of the subject ioorly arranged features. It is a (Gump, nic's wild pitch. Wright strikes Poll- arid her Pals and the is that dealiig vith introluctions, good iilan, after those made ac- little kids that remind him of his and we Irave ch0osen to clear il a qua iritedl have regained their hor- cut. No runs, one hit, tine error. own youthful escapades. few little points in this regarid for cd expiessions, to indulge in a few Then sister strolls in ant the benrefit of those who wish 10 Ileasantries as 10 tire ladies' age S. P. U.-Culberson grounds 10 third. Finley goes out second daintily selects the sporting know certain defiiite things about and divorce list. This is an excep- sheet, "to see who won the golf the question. Tirese ill find tire tionrally clever device since allrs- to first. Thompson strikes out. No runs, no hits, no error's. touirnament," she explains. But following elucitlations of li e ions to a lady's age render her sire takes tire to look up the en- greatest help. rysterious while a delicately B,'etlhel-Mlitchtell walks a nid gocs to second on Ried's fielder's tdies ini the motor races to see if a First, let us r'emrrember that worded renark uion1101 heriratri certain George, Dick or Jack has there are no hide-hound rules to rmoniaul whimsicalities places. her c'loice. Parnell flies out to left, Mitchell goes to third on Hall's entered his car, and yhile she is ie followed in wording an intro- aluove reproa clh as far as fashion at it she cr'or, and registers on Ward's looks up tre football (uictionr. -Iowvcer, it is coirsid- ind( in ecormall ii aer concitnid. scores, so that when a certain ered single. War'd goes out at second. best formr to speak in tire )ne of the most tlificult 1re- George, Iick or Jack comes tongue of those being presented Stntatiolis to executee gracefully One run, one hit, one error. S. '. U.-Mh aroiund she may be able to talk tlespite one's irefcrence or pre- is ont' in wlich the principals cLean singles. Hall with "intelligent" flies out to center. Iennie flies enthusiasm jutice as to language. This great- speak different tongues. However about his favorit topic. dit to right. McLean goes out on ly facilitates early acquairrtarrce lvistype is rare in the South and Then when father asks S-year- and adds more interest to thre oc- we1 shall give thee best mnetod 11(riry's fielder's clioice. old grandma wihat part No runs, one hit, no errors. sire would c'asion. knoiw : national anthems are like to look over, site without a It is generally conceded that fairly well-known by all NINTH INN IN G who are moment's hesitation, asks in a one should never fail to neiitiii :cqiainitedl with threri. It Bethel-Thiompson opens tire is a good quivering voice for tIre fashion tire rnanmes of those ieing present- plan to sinrg a couple of bars of firewtiorks by walking, bit goes out pages. though she nmiglit be more el. Ainv failu'e to do(1so results in each larticiliant's national song. cni I)enny's fielder's choice. TDen- nyv goes profitably meditating upon the confusion, adi very ifteni a stain- Intlie sriie an11( iulicate at tire be- to third and Elinor goes latest cut in angel ings. to second on Thorpson's pede follows such an nrfortunate ginning of each to which it belongs error. Brother, when I)ennry tiut inter'fering with ball. lie gets down to scene. A person withi a keen pres- so as to prevent them from fall- Iis late breakfast, does not Elinor scores while Marshrall gets hesi- ence Of iiinl may' avoid erirbar'rass- ing on one anothei's neck as long- tate to take the women's section, safe on slow fielding. Wright ment; at such a tim(' by suIeinly lost brothers or other-wise. These "for it' awfully clever to be gets safe and Mitchell cleans the able c'liokirg on Iris pocket, knife or any snatches will suggest to them to knock out one of those chafing- liags with a homer to right cen- other irarinless object, or by throw- what language lrey lay use in ad- dish affairs at tire clubhouse after ing an epileptic fit. The ones be- driessinrg each other, and since all ter'. Med flies out to Finley. a long motor trip." -4 I'uns, one hit, one eri'io'. ing itotluced will see imumedi- foreigner's know all tongues. ther-y Then comes mother, wvho, S. P).UT.-leed goes when ately that lie is too busy to call will have no troulble in becoming out, Ilenny sie has put tme breakfast toi (ulberson. remains their namies, and they will sI theliest of friends provided nIoth- Iluflin, batting for back in the warming ,Jesty, flies tint to center'. Culbier- closet for ply them gladly. Any person or iggi pevenrits. rThlie author once had baby, wants to glance over the pcrsons iot blessed with this pres- tire pleasi cc of piresentinrg' a Zulu son walks. Finley strikes out. No runs, no hits, no errors. political ard news section. "I ence of mind should commit to I'rincess to the Crown Regent of rulst keep postet on suel BOX SCORE things," iemory the directions (telephonec Linolcnm and his irethod niren- sIre says. " 7Ye discuss and pre- or city) of the leading towns anld ioned aliove proved highly sue- Bethel. AS. R. H. PO. A. E. Elinor, ]f...... 4 1 2 0 0 0 late papers on thei at the Cul- cities tof Iis state and those hound- cessfnl in slite of a sliigt Iloarse Marshall, lb. . 5 1 0 9 0 1 ture Club, and where would I be ing it. This will keep the names ucss that macred thebiieautv of tIe Wright, ss.... 5 1 0 0 6 2 if I ditn't read?" of those witr whore will most selclctions rendered. Mitchell, 2b.... 4 2 1 4 2 0 Baby finally- Ried, cf...... 5 0 0 3 0 0 gets down to break- In iitrolnicig a splinrster' one1 fast, and finding nothing left of should adopt a paternal expires- Powell, c..... 4 0 0 5 0 1 Ward, Sb...... 3 0 3 0 1 0 the paper but the real estate trans- sioni andiIneiition her as "Mly Thompson, rf.. 3 0 0 5 0 0 fers arnd the want-ad columns, chrarring young friend," as this Denny, p...... 4 2 2 0 2 0 toddles off to a corner Totals .... 37 7 8 *26 11 4 with these Public Sales ileases her extremely and she may anid succeeds in getting as much consent to a chat with her' new *Fiiley out interfering with ball. S. P. U. AS. R. H. P0. A. E. ink on Iris face from them as lie purchased 122,000 We have acquaintance provided lie is about Rennie 2b, p... 4 0 1 2 5 1 could front any other pair of U. S. Army Munson department. forty years her junior. Henry, Sb..... 4 0 1 1 1 0 So lie, too, is content. last shoes, sizes 51/2 to 12 which Another highly important side Breed, ss...... 4 0 1 0 4 1 stock of was the entire surplus of this prollemn will be taken up Jesty, cf...... 3 0 0 1 0 1 one of the largest U. S. Gov- CDulberson, lb.. 3 0 0 7 0 0 ALPHA PHI ini tire next issue. EPSILON MEETS ernment shoe contractors. Finley, lf...... 3 0 0 1 0 0 (Continued from page 1) Thompson, rf.. 3 0 0 2 0 1 This shoe is guaranteed one The Poor McLean, c..... 3 0 1 5 0 0 hundred per cent leather, color Editor Johns, P...... 1 0 0 0 0 0 very clearly by Miss Mary Frances dark tan, bellows tongue, dirt Flowery and long is tie wed- Hall, 2b...... 2 0 0 4 0 0 Pennebaker. Miss Frances Set- and waterproof. The actual ding notice which the editor print- xRuffin...... 1 0 0 0 0 0 tle gave an interesting paper on value of this shoe is $6.00. cii. Thre minister getteth ten Totals .... 31 0 4 *26 10 4 "Manufacturing In Russia." It Owing to this tremendous buy hones. The groorir *Denny out interfering with ball. standethi tire xBatted for Jesty in ninth. was a subject very few members we can offer same to the pub- editor oifF for a 123-mouth sbliscip- lic at $2.95. Score by innings- had studied and proved to be of tion. All flesh is grass arid in timge Bethel...... 001 010 014-7 great help to all. The final num- Send correct size. Pay post- the wife is gathered into a silo. S. P. U...... 000 000 000-0 ber was by Miss Mary Patterson man on delivery or send money Tflie miinister getteth his bit. The Summary: Home runs, Denny, Mit- who gave a order. If shoes are not as rep- chel. 2 base hits, Denny, Rennie. tn- beautiful reading in editorliririteth a (leatil notice, two resented we will cheerfully re- nings pitched, Johns 4 with 4 hits 1 her own sweet and stirring inan- fund" your money promptly columns of obituary, three lodge run; Rennie 5 with 4 hits 6 runs. n1er. upon request. notices, a cllbit of poetry and a card of thanks. And lie forgettetli A young nan sat in an East CHI OMEGAS GIVE to rent] proof NATIONAL BAY STATE on the lead arid the Broadway car. He was on page LUNCHEON SHOE CO. darned thring conreth out: "(lone 127 of a hook on etiquette. Five (Continued from page 1) 296 Broadway, New York, N. Y. to Her Last Iloastirig Place." Arid women clung to straps iear him. all that ar-e akin to tire deceased to formulate plans for the future junrpethi on tire editor with ex- of Kappa Beta -hen "Mv idea of 'gypping' is to get it goes to ceedirig great vigor'. And they Memphis. This ev-ent, tie hest of somrebody." and other Clarksville Ice & pulleth out their ads and cancel- similar ones held by the various Coal Co. leth their' subscriptions and they fraternal alumni associations, swing tire hammer unto the third "If you want to know the value makes us feel that Merllis has and fourth generation.-A n-Lasas of money. just try to borrow some tire right spirit ant are- reads- to Ice, Coal and Distilled Water Thomias Cat. from ile." back Southwestern from now on. THE SOU'WESTER Sanitary Dry Clean- WIT AND HUMOR STYLE HEADQUARTERS ing Co. Society Brand and Michael Eght Years in Clarksville "Is this a. seconid liana(1store ?" I 'aw in theae r th'le other 118 S. 2nd ST. PHONE 153 "Yessum.'" day1 where a mian sold his wife Stern Clothing "XVell, IfAwant one for illy to a.1)1111( man for fifty cents. I watch ." think a man that wVould( do a trick Students Welcome BAIRD-WARD PRINT- like that ought to be 11111g. Jumst Mr. Wallace-"Isn't my suit i tinmk of it, cheating a poor blind ING CO. perfect fit?" mani like that. M. L. CROSS CO. Mr. Oliver-"Oh, yes, it's al- Catalogs - Publications miost a convls~lion." Darts ! Printers Girls, don't get sitruck by 150 Fourth Avenue North, It alimost makes me 1aug11, Cupid's arrow niow a days; it So wonderful the treat takes a. Pierce Arrow.-Thc Icy. Dickson Sadler Co. NASHVILLE, TENN. To see an athlete run a mile, And onily m~ove two feet-Ex. Wise Words by "Wondrous DRUGGIST NORTHERN BANK Wise" "I surely flunked that examu." .ohinston-My girl won't go ouit Fine Candies, Sporting Goods "I thloughit it was easy." \with meWat nighil. What's the muat- OF TENNESSEE "It was, bult 1I1had vaseline on Wondlrou s ANise--Try auto-sug- STUDENTS WELCOME THE OLDEST BANK IN miy Ihair'anmiiy mindi slip~ped." % -Brown .Jug. gestioll. TENNESSEE Phone 88 Wise-Why (don't he(ns lay eggs You cant always tell a Senior, He's so sedlately (dressed. Sterling Fort ...... President Goat-I '11 bite. 'Why? You can always tell a Junmior' Groceries and Fresh Meats F. N. Smith...... Vice President W~ondrous, Beca~(use1(-they ar S. P. U. Boys Welcomre John Hurst...... 2nd vice President By tihe way lie swells his chiest. roosters5 thenl. SANDWICHES H. P. Pickerin ...... Cashier *You can always tell a Flreshnman AND EVERYTHING~ timid looks and such. TO EAT E. Asst. Cashier By hIis 0. Layne ...... Wise- Kit vhdl, liere's that (dol- R. L. Miller ...... Asst. Cashier Yon caniialways tell a Sophomore lar I owe you.. G. S. Bratton P. D. Warfield...... Asst. Cashier But you ('al't tell himn much. Johns1-loll owe mie ab1out1 tell lraid1 dohllrs, don't you? Special Attention to S. P. 1' Boys lHe told the shy of his love, Tile color left hier cheeks, Wise-Yes, .t?11O-u IIlucky tor MOORE'S But 011thle shloldl~er of his coat, you-you'11llnever get. it. It sliowedl for seerial. weeks. Lillian Theatre BAKERY, RESTAURANT, "I want to he a tollgh, CONFECTIONERY .Judlge; 'hai~t lbroughlt you 1: wanlt to smoke a11( chew; CLARKiSVILLE, TENN. Isere?" Iwanit to 1run arou1n(1at InighIts P risoneri' 'wo pol icemen."~ Like other fellows (10. CALL .Juidge-"'I)iumik, I susppose." Do You Value Your Life? IPrlisonerI-"Y\es. loth oif thlere." What's What G. W. Scarborough Somie wise (o1d1 llh)50hIlr 0once( 'If you feel abused. I itink of sai(1, ilt subs)tanlce, It is niot what Insure It FOR Johnlston, he ha~s to pult up with we eat, lbut what we digest, that GOOD THINGS TO EAT a lot."' makes us stronig; it is not wilat we read, but what remiember, that GEO. FORT & CO. Ally fellow call fall, hut it takes malkes 11s wise; it is not what we J. B. TARPLEY a m~ani to pick himself up. earn, buit what we save, that mai~kes us richi.'' UNDERTAKER AND We aimli at only onle spot ill a Life Insurance tarlget, hut we shoot at thie spot EMBALMER 1in a mul11titulde of wauys. An Old Tintype Ambulance Service, Cut Flowers We must have reasons for Stlliie-"l id you sendit for me1 sp~eechi, weCneedl none for silence. miy Lord ?" RANKIN & FERGUSON Laura l]ot-" Yes, make haste, Wondrous says it's too muchl bringl1 Iln the call openler. I've got Th'ie Home of a flea in liy knlighit clothes." troule to ight tile gir'ls off, so 1 Hart, Schaffner & Marx Clothes HOWARD STUDIO le just let's them kiss him. -Exvchange. THE PHOTOGRAPHER IN YOUR TOWN M. BILSKY WALL SHOE CO. BEST FOOTWEAR Dry Cleaning and Pressing *AT Franklin Street, Club Rates $1.60 Per Month PENNEBAKER'S PHONE 418 CLARKSVILLE, TENN.

WHAT KIND OF A MAGNATE ARE We Are All Old S. P. U. Boys FIRST NATIONAL YOU? at A gentleman in business on Broad- The Drive-in-Service-Station way, New York, was greatly annoyed Hotel Montgomery by the tardiness of one of his skilled Come and See Us BANK office stff Calling him into the office one morn- The Motor Shop TENN. ing, he said: "Mr. Brown, I get here at CLARKSVILLE, 5:30 every morning and look over m~y LA:Ds) & GRACEY Clarksville's Leading Hotel mail; at 9 o'clock I look out of the window and see young Mr. Rockefeller on his way to the office; at 9:30 Mr. Why Risk Schwab passes; at 10 I see Mr. Van- SUNDAY NIGHT SUPPERS derbilt going by; at 10:30 Mr. Gould C.1ItH'lNC. YOUR MONEY? passes on the way to his office: and at Puot It in UNION 11 you come in. Who the mischief are you ?"-Selected. THE FIRST WOMAN'S A SPECIALTY THEOLOGICAL We go to work: early. How about you? MIcNEAL EDWARDS CO. BANK SEMINARY Clarksville Billiard Parlor For CIGARS, TOBACCO, PIPES AND CIGARETTES Franklin Street Richmond, Va. Call at Compliments of B. G. HATTLER, Prop. The oldest, largest aad M. N.MUNN Everything Remodeled FIEDERLING'S SE:RVICE AND EQUIPMENT best endowed seminary in 127 Franklin Street the Southern Presbyterian FIRST CLASS Church. THE COFFEE SPECIALTY SHOP Reserved for Patronize Our WARD BROTHERS Caterers

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