Sticky Wicket 817

An occasional column, in which Mole and other characters share their views on various aspects of life-science research. Messages for Mole can be sent to [email protected]. Any correspondence may be published in forthcoming issues.

Notes from a desert except, alas, he was fictional (your copy might list him as ‘Cyrus Harding’ for some island I – you are here inexplicable reason, but trust me, he is Cyrus I love blue water. That lovely, clear, shimmering Smith). I loved TMI when I read it as a wee blue of the tropics. And palm trees. And, while mole-let and even more so when I reread it a we’re on the topic of tropics, rum drinks on year or so ago – except, of course, the last warm, breezy days. Which doesn’t explain, at maudlin bit with the aging Nemo. Smith knew all, why I’m freezing here, all bundled up, everything: not only how to fabricate ceramics, catching a few pathetic sunrays and gazing at an process wool and build a mill, but even how to ugly winter landscape. But it does put me in make pyroxylin as a substitute for gunpowder mind of the Desert Island Test. (requiring, apparently, monohydrate nitric acid,

Journal of Cell Science Oh, you know, what one book, one record which he also made). What a guy, but (updated, I guess, to download) and one disqualified, because of his fictional status. I historical figure would you take to a desert doubt Jules Verne knew as much and he was island? Bad question, and almost always bad French, but again disqualified (only because, answers (assuming anyone still asks this or even although I speak insectivore and a bit of rodent, I remembers such an old chestnut). Anyone who don’t speak French). So I would probably opt for has seen the film ‘Castaway’ knows that the Thomas Young. I’ll come back to him later. book should be a book of matches (duh!) or at If you’ve gotten this far without leafing ahead least a really good survival guide (the U.S. Air to something with a bit more, oh, I don’t know, Force Survival Guide, for example, although the science, I do have a point that I can just about chapter on post-nuclear environments is a bit glimpse as we meander through these twists and over the top; that said, the Bartender’s Survival turns. Because, you see, that awful desert island Guide is more fun, but less practical). The record looms and we might soon need to figure out how is out, because even if you had electricity you to live there and still do what we do. wouldn’t have anything to play it on. And the Through no fault of ours, the lustrous world person? Scott Thompson (when he was one of economy is in tatters and, as a consequence, the fabulous ‘Kids in the Hall’) opted for Oscar funding for our joint enterprise in biomedical Wilde, who then proceeded to drive him crazy. research might be drying up. Everyone knows Still, you have to admire anyone (I mean Oscar, that science is necessary for progress, but although Scott is very funny) who in his Oxford progress is something that we don’t feel we can viva voce was made to translate biblical Greek afford right now. To soothe frayed public nerves, (he was fluent in both classical and biblical) and we will see big plans for big projects at the did not stop when reading from the Passion expense of where the work actually gets done (in because “he wanted to see how it would turn all our little labs with our little projects – this is out”. the concept of parallel versus serial processing But no, I would prefer to have Cyrus Smith, that we understand very well, but can’t seem to the engineer from ‘The Mysterious Island’, convince the powers-that-be that it is the right 818 Journal of Cell Science 123 (6)

way to go), but even there, money will be a made goods that are used, rather than fattening ‘Castaway’, I’m Wilson the soccer ball (or was he trickle. the bank accounts of the greedy. Scientists, some other kind of ball?). I mean, hey, I can dig in We’re in survival mode and survival is hard whatever else we are, are notably the least the dirt, but what do you want? I’m a mole! even in good times. Brace yourself – we’re greedy folks I know – we work very, very hard I have no doubt that you, reading this, are far castaways and this is the island. Welcome to the for very, very little, all for the hope of more skilled than I. So if I’m going to survive, so desert, you are here. understanding things a bit better. Sure, I might are you. Whether you are a technician, student, No, this isn’t about alternative careers like to own a house in Kona, but I settle for a postdoc, bench scientist, lab head, or department (although it could be). And it isn’t a tirade cheap play-list (I almost said record) of chair, I think this will work. And if you are only against the forces that got us to these deserted Hawaiian slack-key guitar. reading this because you are waiting for an shores. I’ll suppress my powerful urge to rant. Thanks, I needed that. So, survival. Some of us interview at a bank, read it anyway, because I Oh, just a little rant (bear with me): science, will survive these times. I hope I am one. That want you to feel our pain. I have an idea of what the way we do it, is demonstrably great for said, I have to confess that, with respect to to do and, next time, I’ll tell you all about it. (To society and for the economy, not only because it practical skills, I’m useless. If I were forced be continued...) forms the basis for bolstering lucrative to make do with only myself and a bench-top Mole endeavors that actually help people, but also centrifuge, I would use the latter as a Journal of Cell Science 123, 817-818 © 2010. Published by The Company of Biologists Ltd because the money actually goes to buy locally paperweight. I’m not even Tom Hanks in doi:10.1242/jcs.068908 Journal of Cell Science