7 Steps to Discernment

LISTEN CAREFULLY, MY SON, TO THE MASTER’S INSTRUCTIONS... 7 Steps to Discernment

7 STEPS TO DISCERNMENT BELMONT ABBEY: A BENEDICTINE MONASTERY IN NORTH CAROLINA Bringing Clarity to Discernment

Discerning your vocation is an exciting time in your life. But it can also feel daunting and overwhelming. On the one hand, you may feel excited about what the future holds for you, what God has in store for you. On the other hand, you may be plagued by questions and self-doubt.

“Am I really called to the monastic life, or should I get married?”

“What if I make the wrong choice? Will God be upset with me?”

“I don’t want to make a choice and then be miserable for the rest of my life.”

“Will God really be happy with me if I discern my way out of the priesthood or monastic life?”

“How can I really know God’s will for my life?”

If you’ve asked yourself any of these questions, or experienced any of these emotions, take comfort. You’re not alone. This is normal. Many of us have asked these questions, and experienced these reservations and self-doubts. Fortunately, there are steps you can take that are known to bring clarity throughout your vocational discernment.

7 STEPS TO DISCERNMENT BELMONT ABBEY: A BENEDICTINE MONASTERY IN NORTH CAROLINA 7 Steps to Discernment

1 Keep Up With Your Prayer

2 Receive the Sacraments Regularly

3 Seek Spiritual Direction

4 Stay Active in Practicing Your Faith

5 Engage in Spiritual and Prayerful Reading

6 Go and Visit Communities and Speak with Vocation Directors

7 Know Yourself, Accept Yourself, Give Yourself

7 STEPS TO DISCERNMENT BELMONT ABBEY: A BENEDICTINE MONASTERY IN NORTH CAROLINA 1 Keep Up With Your Prayer

The heart of discernment is seeking God’s wisdom and guidance for your life. You are trying to discover where God is calling you. Discernment is a continuous com- munication with God. It is important that you have and maintain a daily routine of prayer.

You may prefer Adoration, sitting quietly before a tabernacle, praying the rosary, liturgy of the hours or Lectio Divina.

Whatever preferred method of prayer, it is important to remember that the goal of prayer is to be in conversation with God – especially listening to God.

“Whenever we want to ask some favor of a powerful man, we do it humbly and respectfully, for fear of presumption. How much more important, then, to lay our petitions before the Lord God of all things with the utmost humility and sincere devotion.”

7 STEPS TO DISCERNMENT BELMONT ABBEY: A BENEDICTINE MONASTERY IN NORTH CAROLINA 2 Receive the Sacraments Regularly

The Sacraments were instituted by Christ to provide you with the grace needed to live out the Christian call to holiness. Frequent reception of the Eucharist and Recon- ciliation have been universally identified as particular aids to spiritual growth. If you are serious about seeking God’s will, you should avail yourself of every possible means of receiving His grace. As monks, we attend daily Mass. We recommend the celebration of the Eucharist and Reconciliation as frequently as possible.

7 STEPS TO DISCERNMENT BELMONT ABBEY: A BENEDICTINE MONASTERY IN NORTH CAROLINA 3 Seek Spiritual Direction

It is important that you receive guidance from an experienced spiritual elder – someone who has been where you are and has successfully navigated this whole process of vocational discernment. On your own, you may be prone to making mistakes in judgment, no less in spiritual matters than in other areas. Receiving the guidance of someone who has already made this journey will make it much harder for the devil to lure you off of your God given path and down a rabbit hole.

Receiving spiritual direction has the additional benefit of helping you grow in obedience and humility – two key virtues in the monastic life. Honestly and openly sharing your thoughts and experiences with a spiritual elder, and seeking his feedback and guidance, will liberate you from a self-enclosed self-reliance.

7 STEPS TO DISCERNMENT BELMONT ABBEY: A BENEDICTINE MONASTERY IN NORTH CAROLINA 4 Stay Active in Practicing Your Faith

Your vocation – whether to the religious life, the priesthood, or marriage – is not all about you. Traditionally the Church has referred to Holy Orders and marriage as “Sacraments of Service.” The same applies to the religious life. Your calling is a calling that takes place within the Church and is oriented to the Church. Your calling will need to be authenticated by the proper authorities within the Church. It is right and good, then, for you to be actively engaged in living your faith within a Christian community – especially within your parish.

This is particularly important when you are discerning religious life. Living your faith within a community means more than just attending Liturgy at the same parish week after week. It also means your time and effort, and working with your brothers in Christ in whatever works and services you do. When you are connected to the Christian community, you will often hear God speaking to you through your brothers and sisters in Christ (Acts 13:1-2). Your parish community community often confirms your vocation, and be the additional support you need.

7 STEPS TO DISCERNMENT BELMONT ABBEY: A BENEDICTINE MONASTERY IN NORTH CAROLINA 5 Engage in Spiritual and Prayerful Reading

Attentive and prayerful spiritual reading is used by the Holy Spirit to give you clarity in your discernment. The vocations of many saints were made clear to them by holy reading. Today you can also turn to good videos and recordings of spiritual conferences, audiobooks, and even some religious-themed movies for this inspiration. When discerning, you should pay particular attention to those things that ignite in your heart a love and excitement for seeking and serving God. If you are considering the Order of St. Benedict, you might especially focus on the writings of the exemplars of that life, such as: The Rule of St. Benedict (particularly the Prologue); Prayer and Community (Columba Stewart); and Strangers to the City (Michael Casey).

7 STEPS TO DISCERNMENT BELMONT ABBEY: A BENEDICTINE MONASTERY IN NORTH CAROLINA 6 Go and Visit Communities and Speak with Vocation Directors

“Come and see” (John 1:38-39). That invitation is just as relevant to you in your discernment as it was for the Apostles. When you make the effort to go out of your regular routine and environment to explore a calling from God, you’ll discover an openness of heart that is essential for listening to God. You should visit several communities and engage in multiple conversations with members of those communities, because even visiting a community to which you may not be called will help you in achieving clarity.

7 STEPS TO DISCERNMENT BELMONT ABBEY: A BENEDICTINE MONASTERY IN NORTH CAROLINA 7 Know Yourself, Accept Yourself, Give Yourself

As mentioned above, analogous to priestly ordination or marriage, religious profession is ultimately the choice to give yourself – to God, to the Church, to a Religious Community.

In order for you to be able to make such a self-gift, you must first know and accept yourself. Discernment is a process of learning more and more about yourself. Throughout the process, you will pray over and discover the answers to one or more of the following questions.

• How is my relationship with other people, particularly my pastor/spiritual director, boss, family, and friends?

• What are my strengths in those relationships?

• What are things I could improve?

• How do others view me and what would they say in describing me?

• How would my best friend describe me?

• What bothers me most about other people?

7 STEPS TO DISCERNMENT BELMONT ABBEY: A BENEDICTINE MONASTERY IN NORTH CAROLINA • What makes me angry?

• How have I coped in the past with adverse events or actions?

• When I feel strong emotions such as anger or frustration, am I open to speaking about them and listening to direction?

• How good am I at accepting help from others?

• How could I create more balance in my life?

• What activities energize and excite me?

• What is the environment or culture in which I am most productive and happy?

• As I think of my past, what actions, interactions, and encouragement motivated my best performance?

• What role does my manager or supervisor play in my personal motivation at work?

• What is my idea of the perfect job?

• How do I keep organized?

• What part of my current work do I enjoy and dislike the most?

• Am I more comfortable working alone or in a group setting?

• Do I prefer to follow a schedule or to be more spontaneous?

• In my work and study experience, what are my strengths and what can I improve?

• What does a monastic way of life mean to me?

7 STEPS TO DISCERNMENT BELMONT ABBEY: A BENEDICTINE MONASTERY IN NORTH CAROLINA • What do I think the top three values of a monk should be?

• How would I define success?

• What’s something I have accomplished that I am most proud of?

• What do I consider my biggest failure?

• At the end of my life, what must have been present for me to feel as if I had been successful?

Know that throughout the process of discernment, you have a community praying for you. Not only will the monks at Belmont Abbey be constantly praying for you, but your parish and the Church as a whole will also be praying for you. If at any point you have questions, need some encouragement, or simply need someone to pray with you, please feel free to reach out to me (Fr. Elias).

+ You can contact me by phone at (704) 461-6689 + or by email at: [email protected]

7 STEPS TO DISCERNMENT BELMONT ABBEY: A BENEDICTINE MONASTERY IN NORTH CAROLINA Recommended Reading

• The Rule of St. Benedict (particularly the Prologue); • Prayer and Community (Columba Stewart); • Strangers to the City (Michael Casey); • Christ the Ideal of the Monk (Columba Marmion) • Seeking Spiritual Direction (Thomas Dubay)

Major Works used in Belmont Abbey Formation

• Rule of St. Benedict • Rule of the Master • Life of Antony (St. Athanasius) • Life and Rule of Pachomius • Rule of St. Basil • Rule of St. Augustine • The Sayings of the Desert Fathers (translated by Benedicta Ward) • Institutes (John Cassian) • Conferences (John Cassian) • Consider Your Call (Daniel Rees) • Monastic Practices (Charles Cummings) • Western Monasticism (Peter King) • Medieval Monasticism (C.H. Lawrence) • A Guide to Living in the Truth (Michael Casey) • Spiritual Friendship (Aelred of Rievaulx) • The Benedictine Order in the United States (Joel Rippinger)

7 STEPS TO DISCERNMENT BELMONT ABBEY: A BENEDICTINE MONASTERY IN NORTH CAROLINA