HOURS OF GREAT READINGQ SPINE TINGLING

TALESWEIRD COINCIDENCES IN REAL LIFE

A HIDDEN CONDITION STEALING YOUR SLEEP ELVIS TEST YOUR TRIVIA IQ HEART EXPERTS’ HEALTH SECRETS LIVING THE EXOTIC SEACHANGE Hours of great reading

Don’t miss out! Each issue packed

HOURS OF with real-life GREAT READING

|

H WORLD’S BEST LOVEDTHE MAGAZINE Q drama, laughs and SPINE inspiring stories. TINGLING SUBSCRIBE

TALESWEIRD COINCIDENCES IN REAL LIFE AND SAVE A HIDDEN CONDITION STEALING | readersdigest.co.za YOUR SLEEP ON RETAIL

ELVIS EXCLUSIVE EXTRA TEST YOUR TRIVIA IQ SUBSCRIBER PAGES HEART EXPERTS’ EVERY HEALTH SECRETS BONUS ISSUE LIVING THE EXOTIC FOR PRINT SUBSCRIBERS ONLY SEACHANGE

For more details, head to: ASIA: rdasia.com/subscribe AUSTRALIA: readersdigest.com.au/subscribe NEW ZEALAND: readersdigest.co.nz/subscribe SOUTH AFRICA: readersdigest.co.za/subscribe Contents MARCH 2015

Extraordinary True Tales 32 WHAT ARE THE ODDS? Readers share their amazing real-life spine-tingling tales.

Global View 40 COLOUR WHEELS The highly decorated rickshaws of Asia are works of art on the move – and a window into a different world. MOHAN SIVANAND AND GREG VORE

5-Minute Briefing 48 INSTANT ANSWERS: UKRAINE The regional conflict has roots P. centuries old. Our briefing will get | 40 you up to speed. HAZEL FLYNN

Behind the News 50 REFUGEES IN THEIR OWN COUNTRY For three Ukrainian families, life in a country at war with itself is filled with heartbreak – and hope. ELEANOR ROSE

Quiz 60 LONG LIVE THE KING In the year Elvis Presley would have turned 80, are you nothin’ but a hound dog or all shook up about the rock ’n’ roll legend? MICHAEL KALLINGER

Health 66 WHAT’S STEALING YOUR GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP? Sleep apnoea is an under-diagnosed culprit for bleary mornings and ill health. Here’s how to P. | spot it and treat it. E.R. KING 60

Marchđ2015 | 3 Contents MARCH 2015

Living Language 74 THAT’S RESTRICTIVE! Our copy chief explains one grammatical rule everyone should know. DONYALE HARRISON

Trade Secrets 78 CONFESSIONS OF A COURIER The inside story on what happens to your delivery, and how to get it safely to its destination. AS TOLD TO ROBERT EVANS FROM CRACKED.COM

Advice P. | 82 WHAT DOCTORS DON’T LEARN 86 An expert cardiologist says some simple, low-cost tips could save you from ever having to see him. DR JOEL K. KAHN

The Stranger Who Changed My Life 86 WHERE ARE YOU, BABY ROSEANN? One man’s 50-year search to find out the fate of the baby he found, and then lost. MELODY WARNICK P. | 92 Nature 92 RISE OF THE SEA URCHIN They’re small, spiky – and in huge demand at the world’s trendiest restaurants. FRANZ LIDZ FROM SMITHSONIAN MAGAZINE

Family 100 AS TEARS GO BY A mother’s tendency to well up prevents her from being the parent she wants to be. It’s time to stop the crying game. LISA FIELDS

Real Lives 106 BEST EXOTIC SEACHANGE Two women swapped a staid future for a bold life adventure. AS TOLD TO HELEN SIGNY

4 | Marchđ2015 P. | 82

WANT TO UNLOCK OUR BONUS SECTION? SUBSCRIBE NOW TO THE PRINT EDITION!

REGULARS HUMOUR 6 Letters 46 Laughter, the Best Medicine 9 Editor’s Note 72 Life’s Like That 10 Staff Picks 104 All in a Day’s Work 12 Kindness of Strangers 14 Unbelievable 16 My Story THE DIGEST 58 Points to Ponder 19 Health 65 That’s Outrageous 24 Food 81 Quotable Quotes 26 Money 114 Smart Animals 28 Pets 122 Puzzles, Trivia & Word Power 29 Travel 30 Etc CONTESTS 116 Movies & Books 7 Caption Competition 8 Jokes and Stories

Marchđ2015 | 5 Letters READERS’ COMMENTS AND OPINIONS

Sole Survivor REAL LIFE DRAMAS

The odds of surviving even the most serious plane crash From the descriptions of the plane are 76%. The odds of being the only one left alive are infinitesimal. This is what it’s like to be the ... accident survivors’ lives afterward, it is clear that some, if not all, suffer SOLE Survivor BY JEFF WISE from post-traumatic stress disorder ON JUNE 30, 2009, French schoolgirl Bahia Bakari, 12, and her mother, Aziza Aboudou, 33, were aboard a packed Airbus A310 on their way to Comoros, a group of islands off the eastern coast of Africa, to visit (“Sole Survivor”, January). As family for the summer Minutes from touchdown, Yemenia Flight 626 shook violently in the swirling 65km/h winds; the lights flickered, the engine stalled, The illuminated area and the plane, holding 142 passengers represents where passenger George Lamson Jr was seated a PTSD sufferer, I felt my heart break and 11 crew members, plunged into the when Galaxy Airlines Flight 203 Indian Ocean, breaking apart on impact crashed, killing 70 people as I read of the challenges they faced ILLUSTRATION BRYAN CHR STIE DESIGN and the ways in which their lives were derailed. Please spread the word that while the love of family and friends is important, ongoing professional help is also essential in such extreme cases. THERESA ROGERS

Across the Divide Memory Tricks I was amazed by the story “Postcard I’ll certainly use the “Three Tricks for From Pakistan” (January) about the a Better Memory” in the health Partition of India in 1947. This story column (January). I also have a tip really defined the true meaning for recalling where you’ve put of friendship between the two something. For each item, remember neighbours. UMAR KASHIF three things about where you’ve put it. For example, I put a box under Behind the Scenes the stairs, so I remember it’s cold I thought “Medical Pros on the Road” under there, it’s under the shoe (February, Subscriber Bonus) was an stand and the box is pink. When it eye-opening read. I’ve been an avid comes to finding it, I’ll recall at least theatregoer since I was a little girl. one of the facts. SHULAH CLARKSON I can now admire not only the talents of the performers, but also WRITE TO US their physical and mental endurance, If you are moved – or which is aided by the medical team provoked – by any item in the who accompany them on tour. While magazine, write to us. Refer to page 8 for the editorial enjoying any future shows, I’ll think contact details in your region. of those backstage. GABY BEYER

6 | Marchđ2015 Comments on Classic Reads I told my eldest son how fascinated I was reading “The Amazing Grace of John Newton” by Alex Haley (Classic Reads). After a short silence he said, “Dad, I think it’s time to open your Christmas gift early.” You can imagine my amazement on finding Haley’s book, Roots. What a coincidence! PETER PALMER Poor fore-sight WE ASKED YOU TO THINK UP A FUNNY Thanks for publishing “A Miracle of CAPTION FOR THIS PHOTO. Mermaids” (Classic Reads). Reading it bought me to tears. Every detail of I need new prescription glasses; what my family went through when I thought I was cooling a boiled egg. CHRISTINA HATZIS my father was sick until his death of pancreatic cancer in 2001 came Greg really regrets losing his putter. floodingbacktome.Inaway,crying BETHANY SKIPWORTH made me feel better. CINDY BAUER Now was not the time for Jeremy, Classic Reads was the best Christmas the tournament’s self-appointed golf present I could have got. ballologist. REUBEN OSBORNE LAUREEN MACKENZIE Blow, blow, blow your ball, Gently down the green… WIN! MARIE-ELISE ALLEN “I said use your putter, not your puffer.” RAY CLARKE

“I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your ball in!” LYNDA BAIN

Where’s that legendary Port Elizabeth wind when you need it?” GORDON BAIN CAPTION CONTEST

Come up with the funniest Puff-putt. DR LAURENCE OLIVER caption for the above photo and you could win cash. To enter, see Congratulations to this month’s winner, details on page 8. Bethany Skipworth. PHOTOS: THINKSTOCK PHOTOS:

Marchđ2015 | 7 Vol. 188 CONTRIBUTE No. 1116 FOR DIGITAL EXTRAS AND March 2015 SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS, SEE PAGE 31. Anecdotes and jokes EDITORIAL Editor-in-Chief Sue Carney Send in your real-life laugh for Editor RD Asia Siti Rohani Design Director John Yates Managing Editor Louise Waterson Life’s Like That or All in a Day’s Chief Subeditor & Production Editor Donyale Work. Got a joke? Send it in for Harrison Deputy Chief Subeditor Melanie Egan Laughter is the Best Medicine! Designer Luke Temby Photo Editor Judith Love Smart Animals DigitalEditor&HumourEditorGreg Barton Share antics of unique pets or Subeditor Hannah Hempenstall Editorial wildlife in up to 300 words. Coordinator Sally McMullen Contributing Editors Hazel Flynn; Helen Signy Kindness of Strangers Share your moments of PRODUCTION & MARKETING generosity in 100–500 words. Production Manager Balaji Parthsarathy Marketing Director Jason Workman My Story Marketing Manager Gala Mechkauskayte Do you have an inspiring or life-changing tale to tell? ADVERTISING Group Advertising Director, Submissions must be true, Asia Pacific Sheron White Advertising Sales unpublished, original and Manager Darlene Delaney 800–1000 words – see website for more information. REGIONAL ADVERTISING CONTACTS Asia Kahchi Liew, [email protected] Australia Darlene Delaney, Letters to the editor, caption [email protected] competition and other New Zealand Debbie Bishop, reader submissions [email protected] Online South Africa Michéle de Chastelain, Follow the “Contribute” link at the [email protected] Reader’s Digest website in your region.

PUBLISHEDBYREADER’SDIGEST Email (AUSTRALIA) PTY LTD AU: [email protected] Managing Director/Publisher NZ: [email protected] Walter Beyleveldt South Africa: [email protected] Director Lance Christie Asia: [email protected] We may edit submissions and use them READER’S DIGEST ASSOCIATION, INC (USA) in all media. See website for full terms President and Chief Executive Officer and conditions. Bonnie Kintzer Vice President, Chief Operating Officer, TO SERVE YOU BETTER – OUR PRIVACY STATEMENT International Brian Kennedy Reader’sDigestcollectsyourinformationtoprovide Editor-in-Chief, International Magazines our products and services and may also use your information for the marketing purposes of RD and/ Raimo Moysa or selected corporate partners. If the information is not provided you will be unable to access our productsorservices.OurPrivacyPolicyatthe ALLRIGHTSRESERVEDTHROUGHOUTTHE Reader’s Digest website in your region contains full WORLD. REPRODUCTION IN ANY MANNER IN detailsonhowyourinformationisused(including howwemayshareyourinformationwithouraffiliate WHOLEORPARTINENGLISH OR OTHER companiesintheUSorotheroverseasentities),how LANGUAGES PROHIBITED you may access or correct information held and our privacy complaints process.

8 | Marchđ2015 Editor’s Note Home Is Where Your Heart Is

WHEN I WAS JUST 23 YEARS OLD I shifted from one side of the world to the other, lured by love, work and a big adventure. I’d met someone I was prepared to follow thousands of kilometres for the idea of living in a climate and a culture that was so very different from the one I grew up in. It was all very exciting and I’ve never regretted it. But it was not a move without its fair share of soul searching at the time. Was it the right decision? What would it be like starting over without friends and family nearby? Change, whatever anyone ever says, is never simple, and the path you think you’re taking rarely follows a straight line. That’s why I’m fascinated this issue to hear from two women who could have settled for an “as-is” future, but instead chose an exotic switch. Lois Mason was a school librarian when my youngest was in primary school. She was a caring and creative teacher: she seemed cut out for a role guiding young children to a love of learning. When I next bumped into her she was running a guesthouse in the desert town of Jaisalmer in northwestern India. Movie fans of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (or who catch the newly released The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel) can begin to imagine the lifestyle shock. Our other seachanger has an equally inspiring tale, this time chosen for very practical reasons. Gotaseachangestoryofyourown? Do write in and tell me about it. PHOTOGRAPHED BY DAMIAN BENNETT DAMIAN BY PHOTOGRAPHED

Marchđ2015 | 9 STAFF PICK

The Best Story Is... Reading each month’s stories usually evokes mixed emotions from the staff. Some awaken pleasant memories or feelings while others stimulate interesting debates

If Elvis was alive today, he’d be 80. Would he, could he, still be packing more charisma than any other rocker in the history of the world? I’d like to think so. I first heard Elvis on a scratchy original 45 of “All Shook Up” that my mother spotted in a pile of secondhand records. We played it to death on our portable stereo. I can even remember flipping it over to the B-Side: “That’s Where Your Heartaches Begin.” To test your Elvis trivia, see page 60. SUE CARNEY, editor-in-chief

Am I the sort of person who could countenance spending over $250,000 on a watch? Probably not, but frugality aside, I can still appreciate the exceptional lengths the watchmakers of Switzerland go to crafting timepieces of such precision and beauty. I’m sure you’ll share my sentiment after reading “Where Time Is Money” (in the print subscriber section). LOUISE WATERSON, managing editor

10 | Marchđ2015 I really enjoyed reading My Story: “Folding Paper Into Love” (page 16). I’m not able to pull off anything more complicated than a paper aeroplane, so I appreciate the talent and tenacity the author has in mastering such advanced designs. I was drawn into her journey and happy she was able to meet a “rock star” in the origami world. SITI ROHANI, Asia editor

I adored meeting the taciturn Scot more than eight legs (or two who fell in love with a Norwegian and arms and six legs as Sue now dives in freezing Arctic waters to declared, to take the David stock Europe’s snazziest restaurants Attenborough Trophy). with sea urchins (page 92). It’s a The other insisted it was a window into a world I wouldn’t have metaphor. Since the page was known existed – and another place to already laid out, I pleaded: put on my “things I’d love to see” list. “We only say they’re quotes, GAIL MACCALLUM, subeditor we never say they’re factual!” The story about sea urchins DONYALE HARRISON, chief subeditor was fascinating, but it hasn’t changed my opinion on eating As Humour Editor, I receive hundreds them. For me, they will of jokes a month from readers. The always remain a truly disgusting delicacy! quality varies wildly, but I reserve a LUKE TEMBY, designer special giggle for those that were taken from a past issue of RD, only to We debate some very odd be forwarded back to us. My pick has things as we make the mag to be the “From the Archives” entry in each month. This issue, Drew Life’s Like That (page 72), which Barrymore in Quotable Quotes proves that the practice has been (page 81) was a focal point. going on since at least March 1957. One camp was adamant we GREG BARTON, humour editor

shouldn’t allow anyone to Doyouhaveafavouritestoryinthis suggest that octopuses have issue? Write to us. Details on page 8.

Marchđ2015 | 11 THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS

After five days in the heat, a group of young soldiers found a very cool friend ARefreshingStop

BY J.L. BERRY

JIMBERRY,92, I HAVE A CLEAR AND RECURRING MEMORY of an incident lives in Tasmania, that happened to me during World War II, over 70 years Australia, and has four children, ago. It was May 1944, and I was 22 years old. I had just six grandchildren flown from the far south of Australia, from Tasmania’s and two great- capital Hobart to mainland Australia to join an Army grandchildren. He transport train, which would then transfer me to the 2/6 enjoys spending his Australian General Hospital, which serviced the 9th spare time working around the house division in Far North Queensland, at the top of the country, and garden. near the equator. It was to be a long journey. On the fifth morning of the trip, as the train headed up the coastline, it was delayed for some hours in a small town. We had been travelling continuously, only stopping occasionally to change engines or have meals at railway dining rooms. I was one of hundreds of men. After spending four hot nights sleeping on the carriage floors, I was in desperate need of refreshing. It was already hot and we were all starting to feel uncomfortable. Coming from Tasmania, I wasn’t used to the heat and humidity of the Tropical North. Looking out from the railway station platform, I could see many wind- operated water pumps and couldn’t help but comment

12 | Marchđ2015 In 1944 Jim Berry – just like these soldiers – boardedatraintoan unknown future

aloud that I would greatly appreciate a visit to just a quick shower each. But shower. A young fair-haired boy had during our short stop, the boy’s come to the station to see the soldiers, mother kindly offered us cold drinks, and overheard my complaint. He towels, soap and much praise and invited me to his home to have a encouragement for our war efforts. shower and freshen up. I told him that Acceptance of that boy’s invitation left his mother might not approve and with a lasting awareness in me of the that he left. To my delight, just minutes kindness of people who meet the later he returned saying, “Mum says to needs of others unconditionally. come and bring half a dozen mates.” There are many. So I gathered up four mates and Share your story about the kindness together we accepted the invitation. ofstrangersandwincash.Turntopage Because we were unsure when the 8 for details on how to contribute to

PHOTO: AUSTRALIAN WAR MEMORIAL 057894 train would depart, we limited the the magazine.

Marchđ2015 | 13 Unbelievable TRUE TALES TOLD TALL

Unabashed about Ashes Nury Vittachi tries to take a dearly departed through departures

ONLYADANGEROUSLYreckless remains” without a permit. I can only moron devoid of common sense assume this is a common enough would ever consider smuggling occurrence for this to be made a law. anything illegal-looking onto an WhenIpostedmydilemma aircraft. But in my defence, a problem online, I realised why authorities are needed solving. I had to urgently take so concerned – people are devious. a bag of cremated ashes across the “Put it in a talcum powder world for a funeral, but we have a law container,” said one reader. “Label

banning “the export of human it ‘self-raising flour’,” said another. ILLUSTRATION: ANDREW JOYNER

14 | Marchđ2015 AcreativeonesuggestedIspreadit After kidnapping urns, Mr Xu of between62ashtraysand“pretendto Hunan Province would contact family beausedashtraycollector”. members and demand a ransom. Then there was the person who “Unless you pay me cash, you will suggested I hide the white-ish never see your loved one alive – powder on my person in a Ziploc bag I mean, dead, again.” It was a clever labelled “Dangerous Illegal Drugs”. strategy, since urns don’t put up At first I thought she was working a fight and require less food than against my best interests, but she standard kidnap victims. He earned argued that the universe’s a small fortune before he sense of irony would was caught last year. protect me. Hmm. I felt From Japan came news that all the ideas were It was clever, that some people have disrespectful to my since urns don’t been accidentally leaving carry-on travel put up a fight and the ashes of their grand- companion. require less food parents on trains, where It turns out I’m not the they end up in the Tokyo only one with ash-related than standard lost property office. issues. A reader in the UK kidnap victims “Where’s your grand- forwarded a news report father, Watanabe-san?” about a woman who was “Damn! I had him under so frustrated about receiving mobile my arm a moment ago…” phone bills for her deceased husband Luckily for me, I am far too much of that she took his ashes to the phone a moral, high-principled citizen to ever company shop. Phone company break any laws at all... unless you’re officials eventually accepted that he talking big bucks. So I eventually could not be still making calls. decided against trying any of the She was lucky. My telecoms suggested smuggling schemes, and a provider would have said: “Your funeral director managed to persuade relative is liable for all charges until the authorities to give me my very own he sends us a signed termination human remains export license. form and, by the way, Heaven to I can officially fly with corpses, the Earth calls attract an 85% data Walking Dead, etc. If the manager of roaming surcharge.” the Rolling Stones wants someone to A correspondent from China sent babysit Keith Richards on a plane, I’m a news report about a professional your man. kidnapper who specialised in abducting victims who were at the Nury Vittachi is a Hong Kong-based powdery carbon stage of their lives. author. Read his blog at Mrjam.org

Marchđ2015 | 15 MY STORY

An origami enthusiast seeks a new muse Folding Paper into Love BY CARMEL VALENCIA

CARMEL VALENCIA, MAYBE IT WAS MONDAYS. I’ll ask her when we meet, or 31, works in rather, if we meet. human resources and currently lives In a school on a hill, in the classroom closest to the in Paris, with her sandbox, beside the pink and blue lockers, you’ll see a table collection of filled with marker stains and leftover glue bits. On this day origami papers. – I do believe it was a Monday – you will find six eager kids She will never seated around her. turn down a request to show Sporting a head of black curls and a motherly smile, Mrs someone how to Kojima conducted origami lessons for her son’s class. I don’t turn a square know how it happened – perhaps our teacher had asked her, paper into a or maybe she volunteered – but she arrived every week beautiful crane. without fail, a box of paper squares in her hands. We would soon be handed these squares – smooth, almost shiny if you held it up to the light; with the sharp smells of coated paint. “A square becomes a crane, and a square becomes a chair,” she would say in her broken English, “and today we’ll make a camera”. We diligently folded boxes, dogs and frogs; I can tell you that Mondays were never the same. My favourite was always the four-petal flower: a complicated figure for me at seven, but one that I proudly mastered at eight. Mistakes were made and wrong creases were folded in; Mrs Kojima encouraged us to just unfold and carry on. I remember several classes with her, enough to last us a few months. Then the time came for her son Tatsuya to move to another school or country. It was the last I saw of her.

16 | Marchđ2015 The origami classes stopped, but I THOUGHT VERY little about Mrs the art never quite left me. I Kojima in the next 20 years. Her face continued to purchase packs of would come up only when someone origami paper whenever I visited asked where I learned origami. bookstores, critiquing their quality I would launch into the story of and design as I got older and more buying my first origami books with discerning. my parents – books shared with a As a young teen, I changed my brother who never loved the art quite focus from simple animals to as much as I did – and ending with geometric designs: balls that those Mondays with Tatsuya’s mother. required 30, 60 and sometimes even It’s been a 20-year question: would a hundred pieces to come together! I I would ever see Mrs Kojima again? haven’t met many people throughout Two years ago, I finally did. the years who share the intensity of Well, sort of. my interest in origami, and living in On a business trip to Tokyo, I had the Philippines made it even harder some free time and decided to to find the right paper to use for search for origami stores. The papers these designs. Every trip to Singapore sold at the department stores were was another opportunity for me to great, but this being the national bring home additional paper packs birthplace of origami, I figured the to add to an ever-growing collection. city would have more to offer. What’s a girl to do with all this I arrived at Origami Kaikan, an

PHOTOS COURTESY CARMEL VALENCIA COURTESY PHOTOS paper? Keep folding, of course. exhibition centre and workshop that

Marchđ2015 | 17 profusely all Kazuo had to say. He had a gentle presence, just as a grandfather patiently answering questions would. “Kazuo is the author of that book,” the lady said. He retrieved a large folded crane and held it in front of him as someone took our picture. With a brush in hand, he signed my copy of the book and handed me a business card (with drawings of paper cranes, of course). I moved to the side so he could continue his discussion. I read what was on the card – Kazuo was not only the centre’s director, he was also President of the International Origami Association, a fourth- Carmel Valencia met one of the masters generation heir to the Kobayashi of the paper square, Kazuo Kobayashi paper company. Rock stars come in many forms, has roots from 1858. Pushing open I tell you. And I just met one. the lobby door, I entered a small room The day I met Kazuo was the day with exhibits and a small reception I felt I had once again met Mrs area. The Japanese lady ushered me Kojima, kindred souls who continue to the third floor when I asked if they the art of paper-folding and in whom had origami paper or books for sale. I am brought once again to memories I settled on a book that shared of a seven-year-old me learning to a hundred crane designs (this design fold a four-petal flower. is culturally significant in Japan). Perhaps Mrs Kojima led me to that Behind me, another lady had asked in small building in the heart of Tokyo English if I wanted this book signed. one day in September. By whom? I asked. She gestured I’ll remember to ask her when we towards him. meet. If we meet. Clad in a crisp white shirt with a Until then, I’ll keep folding. head of thinning hair, Kazuo Kobayashi was seated behind a desk Do you have a tale to tell? surrounded by photos and intricate We’ll pay cash for any original and paper folds. Around him were three unpublished story we print. See page kids, taking notes and scribbling 8 for details on how to contribute.

18 | Marchđ2015 THE DIGEST HEALTH

HOT TOPIC Melatonin: the Sleep Hormone Many people take the supplement melatonin to help them sleep. But does it really work? Here are some facts: WHAT IS IT? Produced by the pineal gland in the brain at night, this hormone helps regulate the internal body clock’s cycle of sleep and wakefulness. Most studies show that melatonin dietary supplements can ease sleeplessness caused by jet lag, causing British scientists reviewing the evidence to call it “remarkably effective” when used by people crossing five or more time zones. The evidence is less solid that this hormone cures everyday insomnia, though it seems to induce shut-eye in some users. One theory is that it works only in people with naturally PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES PHOTO:

Marchđ2015 | 19 HEALTH

low levels. Although it is believed Availability differs widely around melatonin levels decrease with age, the world. In some countries it is this is not conclusive. A Scottish freely available, in others it is banned. study published in 2007 of 354 people Many allow it only to be prescribed by aged 55-80 found that a prolonged- health care practitioners, or restrict release 2mg melatonin supplement higher doses and prolonged-release helped them fall asleep an average of versions. Talk with your doctor before 24 minutes faster – about the same considering melatonin, even if you benefit as from a sleeping pill. The don’t require a prescription, as usage people taking melatonin also slept can have side effects. better, felt more alert the next day, and reported a quality of life improvement HOW SAFE IS IT? The long-term compared to those taking the placebo. effects of taking melatonin are still unclear, leading some At night, the pineal gland in the brain synthesises experts to warn against and secretes melatonin, a hormone that helps everyday use. Even short- regulate the body’s sleep and wake cycles term use can lead to side effect such as sleep disruption, daytime fatigue, he daches, dizziness, nd irritability. To minimi e these problems, most experts advise taking a melatonin supplement an hour or so before turning in. However, one study found that taking melatonin 5.5 hours before bedtime on a Sunday night helped people re-establish a normal sleep routine after staying up later than usual on the weekend. NEIL WERTHEIMER

20 | Marchđ2015 HEALTHY HABIT How Fresh is “Fresh”? Most packaged food has a date label. Here’s what you need to know when gauging freshness and quality

“USE BY”: This date label appears lentils, pasta, rice and canned goods. on foods that are sold chilled or It means the food will be at its best frozen because they are highly before that date. But when the date perishable and could give you food has passed, that doesn’t suddenly poisoning if eaten after the stated mean that the food will poison you if date. Think meat, fish, chicken and you eat it. Rather, it indicates that it dairy. The stated date assumes you could be past its best – for example, will store the product according to old legumes might take longer to the instructions on the packaging. soften during cooking. As long as the packaging is still intact, the food AFTER THE “USE BY” DATE: While should be fine. you shouldn’t use a food or drink after the “use by” date has passed – “DISPLAY UNTIL” and “SELL BY”: even if it looks and smells fine – there These date marks on food packaging is one exception to this rule. If the are not aimed at customers, but are food was frozen before the date, it’s there as instructions for store staff, to still fine to eat, but once it’s thawed it help them with stock rotation. should be cooked within 24 hours. Extract from HealthSmart: Eating for “BEST BEFORE”: You’ll see this date Good Health, published by Reader’s Digest. PHOTOS: GETTY IMAGES; THINKSTOCK GETTY IMAGES; PHOTOS: label on less perishable food, such as

Marchđ2015 | 21 HEALTH

NEWS FROM THE WorldofMedicine Sleep Loss Ages Brain Digital Screens to Eliminate More Quickly Reading Glasses Indulging in an afternoon nap could Could it be time to throw away those be the best way to delay your brain’s reading glasses? Researchers from ageing and decline. A decade-long University of California at Berkeley, study conducted at the Duke- MIT, and Microsoft in the US recently NUS Graduate Medical School in created a filter that can make a Singapore – which involved 66 adults digital screen adjust to a user’s aged 55 and over – found a link vision. The filter is clipped onto a between sleep deprivation, rapid phone, tablet, or other device, and brain atrophy and cognitive decline. used in conjunction with software The study, published in the that contains the individual’s glasses journal Sleep last year, found prescription. that those who slept fewer hours The algorithm of the filter alters showed evidence of faster brain the light from each individual pixel ventricle enlargement and decline so that, when fed through a small in cognitive performance. Although hole in the plastic filter, rays of light the researchers acknowledge reach the retina and sharpen the that the sample size of the image. Much like glasses study was only small, and contacts, the filter they believe that the makes whatever results are important. adjustments are Other studies have necessary to the found sleep text onscreen so deprivation the user’s vision is may also clear. contribute The researchers to disorders estimate that the such as type technology could be on 2 diabetes, the market within about various cancers, weight five years and would cost

gain, and premature ageing. under US$500. VOORHES ADAM PHOTO:

22 | Marchđ2015 PHOTO: THINKSTOCK Keeping a casual check on our taste buds can help help can buds with earlydiagnosisofsomeseriousconditions taste our on check casual a Keeping Disorders Taste CHECK DIY also leave metallic taste. atemporary can food and medications Some Crohn’s disease. even or mouth, the mucous in the membranes affect can that condition planus, skin lichen a indicate also can infection. it tooth seriously, or More mouth a is taste metallic a xase ept o en vryactive? overly being not despite exhausted frequently? Doyoufeel urine are Passing – thirsty? diabetes unusually to of you start signs you possible before other But consider diabetes. though, of worry, sign blood a regulate is to which unable – it’s sugar you telling body your be could METALLIC ROTTEN SALTY SWEET pigyu ae intake. water your upping flavour –b salty can a Dehydration saliva temporary. give or are also flu which cold, of common all a – by infections caused sinus often is altered This or taste. dysgeusia, of as sense known condition a from or medications r ot n smoking. and mouth dry oral hygiene, medication, poor or disease gum spicy food, include causes also Common breath, halitosis. bad as and known mouth the in taste rotten a at at ntemuhcnb asdb certain by caused be can mouth the in taste salty A we rfut at ntemuhta o’ oaway go won’t that mouth the in taste fruity or sweet A rmtm otm,w l alvci ohaving to victim fall all we time, to time From h otcmo as of cause common most The ut canbequicklycured by FOOD

RT The Electrolux TABLETS AT THE TABLE While gn Lab runs an annual using a phone while dining is competition for design students considered rude, tablet devices may asking for their best ideas. A recent be excused. E-menus and tablet favourite is the smart knife (above), ordering systems are appearing more which monitors and displays levels and more, especially in fast food of harmful bacteria, pesticides and restaurants where some even allow nutrients such as sugar, vitamins, kids to play games while waiting. protein and fat in the food it slices. They’re creeping into higher-end The knife can also emit negative ions dining, too. At Logbar in Tokyo you as it cuts, to help keep the food fresh. can use the tablet to customise your Alas, it’s only a concept so far. cocktail and add it to the menu, earning a 50-yen commission if PROVENANCE Increasingly, someone else buys one! consumers want to know exactly how and where their food was HOLOGRAMS If entries to the produced. While small and boutique Electrolux Design Lab are any suppliers can usually tell you guide, a Jetson-like kitchen is on their produce’s exact provenance, the way. The 2014 winner was a traceability schemes now allow product concept called Future Hunter supermarket consumers the same Gatherer. The idea allows families to details using QR (quick response) virtually fish, hunt and gather through codes on packaging. Shoppers use a forest projected into their kitchen. smartphones to access information Choices are transmitted to local about the origin of each product. suppliers who deliver the produce Harney Sushi in California is even to the door. Not only do kids feel using edible rice paper QR codes so involved in dinner decisions, they diners can check out their meal. learn about where food comes from.

24 | Marchđ2015 Bacteria collects in everyday tools Germy Kitchen Items You Never Think to Clean The sponge and the sink are obvious BLENDER GASKET: If you don’t culprits, but new research shows that follow the manufacturer’s cleaning other everyday kitchen objects can instructions, you may be blending in also harbour germs that can cause bacteria with your food. nasty stomach upsets. DE-GUNK IT: Clean your machine after each use by disassembling KNIFE BLOCK: Be honest: when was completely, including removing the the last time you cleaned this, if ever? blade and gasket. Depending on DE-GUNK IT: Remove the knives, manufacturer’s directions, put the then turn the block upside down to pieces in the dishwasher or wash shake out crumbs. Wash the by hand in hot soapy water. block in hot soapy water Let all pieces dry thoroughly and get in the slots with before reassembling. a small brush. To sanitise, soak the block in a mixture CAN OPENER: If you of 4L of lukewarm tap toss this back in the water and 1 tablespoon of drawer after use without regular household bleach, a good cleaning, you or just fill the knife slots may be exposing your with the mixture. Let it sit family to bacteria or for one minute, then rinse mould. thoroughly with tap water DE-GUNK IT: It’s important and place upside down to to clean the area where the dry. Avoid germ build-up groove meets the can, and by washing knives make sure you get rid of and letting them dry all food residue. Even completely before you better, buy one that’s put them back in dishwasher safe and

PHOTOS: (BLENDER & CAN OPENER) THINKSTOCK PHOTOS: the block. wash after each use.

Marchđ2015 | 25 MONEY

What Should You Do With A Windfall? Smart ways to manage an unexpected cash sum

BUY FREEDOM FROM DEBT If you your home. However, there are some have any high-interest debts such as downsides if you have a fixed rate loans, credit cards and store cards, mortgage. Make sure you factor you should pay these off in full in mortgage exit fees and early before you do anything else. The only repayment charges. Check with exceptions are debts with 0% interest your lender or speak to a licensed rates, such as 0% balance transfer financial advisor. Work out which credit cards. You should pay off all would be the best value: paying it your debts as soon as you can, even if off now and incurring a penalty, or it uses up your entire windfall. paying off an extra percentage each year until the fixed rate finishes and GET RID OF YOUR MORTGAGE then paying off the rest. Paying off your mortgage is one of the safest investments you could SET UP A SAVING SAFETY NET make. It’s tax-free and a safe bet – Everyone should have money set once you’ve paid it off you’ll own aside to cover their basic expenses for at least three months – so work out how much you have to pay out every month, multiply it by three and put that amount into a savings account.

GIVE SOME AWAY If you have children or grandchildren, you could help them get onto the property ladder or pay their university fees. Not only that, but if you give it to them while you’re alive you’ll be

around for them to say thank you! THINKSTOCK PHOTOS:

26 | Marchđ2015 7WaystoClearYourDebt

If your debts are spiralling out of 4. Contact your creditors. They have control, face up to the problem. Fines, seen it all before and will view you penalties and high interest charges more positively if you contact them will make a bad situation worse. and explain your situation rather Follow this seven-point action plan than just don’t pay. They may allow to help reduce your debts: penalty-free extensions if it is simply a matter of a poorly timed bill. 1. Make a budget. Draw up a budget and track precisely how much you 5. Top up your income. This might spend each month to identify where include taking a part-time job, youcanmakecutbacks. freelancing, or renting out a room in your home. Check to see you 2. Prioritise your debt. Pay your are receiving all the government mortgage or rent to keep the roof benefits available to you and sell any over your head. Then meet utility unwanted but valuable possessions bills and essential rental or purchase you could turn into cash. agreements, such as a car to get you to work. High-interest debts such as 6. Consolidate your debts. Move credit and store cards should come expensive borrowings into cheaper next, with non-essential and low- forms of debt – such interest amounts left until later. as a 0% introductory credit card rate or 3. Draw up a repayment plan. a remortgage. Negotiate a debt-management plan with your creditors. This 7. Stop it happening involves paying as much as you again. Simple tricks can can after covering essentials each keep you out of trouble. month. Many ● Pay bills by direct companies debit so the money prefer this goes straight out. to taking ● Deal with bills you to promptly to avoid court, as it late fees. means they ● Cut up store will still get cards and other paid, if slowly. high-interest cards.

Marchđ2015 | 27 PETS

My Dog’s Jealous! Is your dog having trouble accepting the arrival of a rival?

A BABY ARRIVES Let the dog get to know the baby’s scent by offering a piece of the baby’s clothing to smell. This will allow the dog to become familiar with the new scents floating around the home. Give your pet the same attention as before even if you’re overstretched. This will A SECOND DOG JOINS THE stop them feeling neglected. Never HOUSEHOLD In theory, a male won’t leave your child alone with your pet. harm a female and an adult will Your dog may appear to be nurture a puppy. With two males, comfortable with the new arrival, each will try to dominate the other. but it may take some years for them Between females, things should be to fully get used to the presence of calmer. Make sure you treat them another in the house. identically when it comes to food, toys and petting. You may be I HAVE A NEW PARTNER Introduce tempted to favour either the new the new person. Then have him or her puppy or your canine pal of five join in the dog’s activities and hand years,butitisimportanttotreat out rewards. If the dog shows extreme them equally. If meals bring conflict, aggression, chat to your vet. make them eat separately.

Canine Rivalry US psychology researchers studying jealous behaviour in 36 dogs found most were indifferent when their owners ignored them and read. But when their owner showered attention on a stuffed dog that barked, whined and wagged its tail, roughly 80% of the dogs pushed or touched their owner. And a quarter also growled or snapped at “the rival”. Chief researcher Christine Harris said the dogs’ reactions could be a simple form of primordial jealousy. PHOTO: ERIC ISSELÉE PHOTO:

28 | Marchđ2015 PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES using eyemasks, sunglasses, forward. rhythm circadian your move helps morning the in sunlight to Exposure head outdoors. noon, before land you If Vogel. Amanda instructor fitness says stiffness, muscle lessen help will toes your flexing and pointing and legs your straightening by stretches seated Doing swelling. prevent and circulation improve to often air. dry plane’s the by caused combat dehydration to hour every water glasses of two least at drink board, While on body. your for pattern a set to schedule sleep consistent a to energy. low and fog brain irritability, headaches, include Symptoms time. the same at wired and tired you making environment, your with sync of out knocked You’re lag. jet causes and clock, internal or rhythm, circadian your disrupts zones time crossing rqetflying Frequent BY DRZOLTAN RONA Your BodyClock Outwit lag jet of out drag the take to how on advice Expert uigln lgt,tyt sleep to try flights, long During so every cabin the around Move stick flight, your before days the In n regularly and and energylevelsstable. bloodsugar your keep to hours four every Eat Daniluk. Julie nutritionist suggests foods, fatty or sugary salty, avoid and meals, high-fibre protein, L-theanine. and flower passion valerian, as remedies such natural or 19), page see this, on more (for melatonin Consider rest. uninterrupted an have you ensure to and comfort maximum for pillows and support neck earplugs, neyuln,sikt high- to stick land, you Once TRAVEL ETC

Duplitecture: China’s Western- style copycat architecture The Next Best Thing Seems being the home of the Great THAMES TOWN This little piece of Wall isn’t enough. Replicas of other Britain in Shanghai has Tudor, countries’ iconic locales have sprung Gothic and timber buildings up across China. A style of surrounded by cobbled streets. Real architecture labelled “duplitecture” estate agents sold it using the catch has become a national phenomenon. phrase “Dream of England” and it’s Here are just some of these themed become a wedding photo favourite. communities: Before you scoff, a quick look at TIANDUCHENG An Eiffel Tower history reveals architects have been looms over China’s Little Paris in borrowing ideas from the past for Hangzhou, 150km from Shanghai. centuries. During the pre-modern Built to house 10,000, the largely era, Chinese emperors would often uninhabited town has French commission replicas of palaces or patisseries and quaint fountains. landmarks from cities they had conquered to demonstrate their VENICE WATER TOWN Hangzhou’s authority. Even the White House – answer to Venice comes complete home to US presidents – is with canals and a replica of the remarkably similar to Leinster House, Doge’s Palace and the bell tower Dublin, which in turn was based on

of Saint Mark’s Basilica. Greek- and Roman-style architecture. CORBIS PHOTO:

30 | Marchđ2015 SHARE THE STORY

Talk About It CONNECT WITH RD ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Every month we hear from readers about stories you love, questions you want followed up and topics you’d like to hear more about. Now the conversation has grown outside the pages of your favourite magazine. Follow us on social media for story extras, mag insights, and ways to get more out of your Reader’s Digest.

Asia: READERSDIGESTASIA @rdasia Australia: READERSDIGESTAUSTRALIA @readersdigestAU NZ: READERSDIGESTNEWZEALAND @readersdigestNZ

PHOTOS: THINKSTOCK PHOTOS: South Africa: READERSDIGESTSOUTHAFRICA @readersdigestZA EXTRAORDINARY TRUE TALES

When we asked readers to send us their stories of real-life coincidences, nothing could have prepared us for the spine-tingling tales they had to share

stepped into a mobile phone store in my husband’s father, Sikkandar! our neighbourhood shopping mall in Shocked and delighted at the same Subang Jaya, Selangor, Malaysia. He time, I called my husband over to wanted to ask about a phone he was take a closer look. The store owner interested in buying. Instead of wait- figured he must have set up this ing outside like we normally would, demo phone using a memory card my two daughters, Ani, 10, and Amy, from a customer who had traded 7, and I went inside and began looking in an old phone. It turned out that at the rows of phones on display. the customer was my brother-in- For no particular reason, I picked law, who had been searching for the

up one phone and tapped the camera memory card for the past six months ILLUSTRATION: HEATH KILLEN

32 | Marchđ2015

WHAT ARE THE ODDS? as it contained treasured photos of I lost my bag, which contained our his son as an infant. Hajj documents, money and, most I’m still amazed at the sequence importantly, Iqbal’s contact number of events that fell into place in order and address in Jeddah. We had no way for this discovery to happen. There of contacting him, so we gave up the are lots of phone shops in the mall, idea of meeting with him. To console and there were dozens of phones on my wife, I told her that if Allah wills display in that shop. But we chose to it, we shall somehow meet with Iqbal. view the photo app of the only phone On the final day of Hajj, all pilgrims that had my brother-in-law’s missing try to perform the ritual of throwing memory card. The coincidences are stones on three stone walls that rep- almost unimaginable. resent Satan. During our visit, this SHAMSUN NISHA SHAHUL HAMID, involved competing with 3.5 million Selangor, Malaysia other pilgrims. It was while we were in middle of the ritual that, to my A PILGRIM’S PROVIDENCE delight, and despite the enormous In 1997, my wife Ayesha and I, along crowds, we spotted Iqbal and his wife. with millions of other Muslims from I told Iqbal that we had a one-in- all over the world, went to Mecca in a-million chance of finding them. He Saudi Arabia for Hajj. Muslims long to laughed and said, “No, it was one-in- travel to Mecca at least once in their a-3.5-million chance!” lifetime to perform Hajj. While Hajj MOHAMMAD AHMAD-JAN, itself takes just five days, you can also Karachi, Pakistan visit the Prophet’s mosque in Medina, in order to perform 40 specific prayers. TRAVELLER’S TWIST This can increase the length of the My wife, June, and I married in visit to 13 days. As millions of visitors England in 1951, then three years later travel to Mecca every day, the visit can immigrated to New Zealand, before stretchouttoasmuchas30days. eventually settling in Australia in 1965. Before we left our home in When I retired, we took a trip to Eng- Pakistan, we contacted my younger land in 2000. After visiting my wife’s cousin, Iqbal, who we hadn’t seen sister in London, we arrived at Euston for at least four years. He lived in Station just in time to catch the train Jeddah, where the airport that ser- for Berkhamsted, where we were stay- vices Mecca is located. We swapped ing. Diving into the last carriage just as contact details and promised to meet the doors closed, we found only two at some point. When we reached vacant seats left – next to and oppo- Mecca we got busy with pre-Hajj ac- site a dishevelled man in a worn-out tivities. During the hustle and bustle, raincoat. He was dozing in a corner

34 | Marchđ2015 E R next to the window. “I’m not sitting next to him,” my wife whispered, taking the seat opposite. I had no choice but to take the seat beside him. I had with me a video camera, which I carried around in a camera case. I rested it on my knees. Just as I did, the man stirred and glanced down at the name tag on the camera case. “I say,” he began. “You wouldn’t by any chance be ‘Nipper’ Thomas would you?” I was stunned – it was a nickname my elder brother had given me when I was little, and the name that I was known by at school. I replied that indeed I was. “Blow me down,” he said, before revealing himself to be my closest school chum, Mick, who had been best man at my bees, pigs and poultry. He very rarely wedding. left the farm and only went up to Initially, we had kept in contact by London every few years to meet with intermittent aerogrammes between his family’s solicitor. The odds of England and New Zealand. We had him catching that particular train also met up once briefly when, as a from Euston Station on the same day dapper young businessman, he had that we caught it for the first time visited Auckland. In later times, the in almost 50 years – and for us all to contact had slowed to an exchange of then sit in the same carriage – seem Christmas cards. He had not moved far incalculable. from his Hertfordshire roots and was LEN THOMAS, Queensland, Australia also leaving the train at Berkhamsted so we were able to exchange phone FAMILY FLUKE numbers and arrange to meet a few It was May 1971 and I was preg- days later. nant with my fourth child, who was Mick was now a farmer, keeping due some seven weeks away. To our

Marchđ2015 | 35 WHAT ARE THE ODDS? amusement, some friends sent my Sure enough when I saw the booklet I husband and me a card congratulat- found the name of the boy for whom ingusonthebirthofason.Theyhad we had received a congratulation card made an honest mistake after assum- 34 years previously. I called the family ing a birth announcement in the local after I saw the wedding booklet and paper – of a couple with identical explained the coincidence. We spoke names – was us. I kept the newspa- about each other’s families and tried per notice of this other family’s birth to work out if our families were re- together with the card I had received lated. It turns out that we aren’t, but it and didn’t think any more of it. is still an amazing coincidence! In January 2005, a relative’s daughter PAM GARDINER, Victoria, Australia attended a wedding and on the seat beside her was a booklet from the pre- HOMELY HAPPENSTANCE vious wedding ceremony. The parents In 1992, I visited Italy for two months of the groom had the same names as while on a five-month trip to Europe. us and our relative phoned us later to I travelled with three friends, Maria, find out about this “unknown” family. Kevin and Pina, from my home town in Albany, Western Australia. When we were in Northern Italy, we stayed with one of my friend’s relatives in a small town called Boffetto. Onenight,myfriendsand I were invited to dinner at a neighbouring house. After a beautiful Italian meal, our hosts excitedly pulled out a photoalbum.MyfriendMaria translated in her broken Ital- ianthattheyhadbeento Australia many years ago and wouldliketoshowussome photos of their trip. We flicked throughthealbumrecognis- ing some familiar sights. All ofasudden,Ijumpedback pointing to a very familiar pic- ture.Isimplycouldnotbelieve my eyes! Right there, halfway READER’S DIGEST aroundtheworld,wasaphotograph and answered the phone. It was our of my family home in Albany. daughter from Australia phoning When Maria explained my surprise, to wish us a Merry Christmas. After no-one could believe it. It turns out we talked for about five minutes the that the neighbour, Guido, was a phone went dead – having again lost bricklayer and, when visiting Australia, its signal – and remained dead for decided to take a photo of a typical the rest of the week we spent in the Australian brick home. Out of all the Kruger National Park. homes he saw, he chose mine. In that ALLAN AND ISOBEL SALZWEDEL, moment, it felt like such a small world. Queensland, Australia MARNI COFFEY, Queensland, Australia RELATIVE REUNION MOBILE TWIST In 1988 it was a long drive in a Just before we immigrated to Aus- chauffeur-driven car from my hotel tralia from South Africa in April 2006, in Manila to the children’s clothing my husband and I spent a week in factory where I had an appointment the Kruger National Park. It was also in 1988. As we arrived and drove

“Did you always live in Auckland?” he asked. He then told me he thought we might be related

a way of filling in time as our two through the security gates, I was children, Karen and Edward, and their surprised to see another European young families were already living businessman getting out of a car just in Australia. As it was Christmas, we ahead of me. I was a bit concerned missed them and felt we needed to that the factory had accidently dou- do something special. Although it was ble-booked my time with its sales amazing to drive and view the wild manager and export team. What’s animals in their natural habitat on going on here? I thought. Christmas morning, we felt rather sad When our paths crossed in the and sorry for ourselves as there was no reception area, we briefly introduced mobile network to contact our family ourselves and had a friendly exchange in Australia. about the unusual circumstance of Then, just as we got to the top having two buyers visit at the same of a small mountain my mobile time. He was from England and I phone rang. I stopped on the crest told him I was from New Zealand.

Marchđ2015 | 37 WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

MORE STRANGE COINCIDENCES

■ In 1976 my husband ofplaceonmy name to a host Fawzi and I and our mantelpiece. foundation as I planned three children travelled Several months later, to travel to the US and from Brisbane to I had an unexpected observe teaching and Sydney in our pale visit from a friend. We schools there. They green Holden sat over our cups of matched me up with a Kingswood – which coffee when Karen lady from California: we still own. About suddenly stopped Judy Patch halfway there the road talking and picked up Guglielmino, the very bent into a half circle the seal. She turned it same lady that the and all we could see over to look at its Dutch organisation had ahead were two other tummy and then paired me with. I Kingswood cars of the handed it to me, and wonder what the odds same pale green as asked me to read the are of that happening – ours. label. I did – it read K.L. twice matching up the When we stopped I didn’t make the same people from for petrol, we met up connection. opposite ends of the with the two other cars “It stands for Kurt world? and their drivers. Lintner,” she said. “This DIANA STIVEN, Imagine our surprise seal belonged to my Otago, New Zealand when we realised not baby son and went only were the three missing at childcare 17 ■ While managing a cars identical, but the years ago.” motel in Toowoomba, I other two carried JULIE BRISTOW, checked out a doctor consecutive number Tasmania, Australia whose name was plates to our PSF 007 familiar. I asked him if plate. ■ Around 1994 I sent he had ever worked at NORMA JEAN KAWAK, my name to an a maternity ward Queensland, Australia organisation in Holland (500km away) where I to gain a pen friend had given birth 27 ■ AfewyearsagoI somewhere in the years earlier. Indeed he was helping prepare world. I was matched had. “You delivered my and run a trash and up with a lady whose son, 27 years ago treasure stall in town name was Judy Patch today,” I told him. I had when I took a liking to Guglielmino in not seen that doctor atoysealthatwasfor California, US, but until 27 years later – to sale. I bought it, then never made contact the day. took it home and and forgot about it. DEBRA CRANE, displayed it in pride A year later I sent my Queensland, Australia

38 | Marchđ2015 READER’S DIGEST

As it turned out, the company had and stayed with cousins. I can only two export teams and we were led to guess he must have remembered my different areas of the building. name, as I had introduced myself I caught up with the man during a when we met at the factory. break in discussions, when he joined I was gobsmacked – I didn’t know me for coffee. “Which city did you say he existed and here I was thousands you were from?” he asked. of kilometres from home on the out- “I’m from Auckland,” I replied. skirts of Manila meeting a cousin – “Did you always live in Auckland?” Jeffrey – I didn’t know I had. he continued. The reaction of the Filipino staff “No, I grew up in Wellington,”I told was a sight to see. The women had him. “Why do you ask?” tears rolling down their faces – He then told me he thought we they couldn’t believe what had just might be related. unfolded. “What is your father’s name?” he Jeffrey owns a childrenswear asked. clothing business in the UK. We I told him it was Jack. He then told were in the same business – but on me exactly where my family had lived opposite sides of the world. About a 30 years ago before telling me he had year later, on my next trip to London, stayed with us when I was very young. I enjoyed dinner with Jeffrey and his He was my third cousin. He had trav- lovely wife. elled overseas when he was younger DANNY PHILLIPS, Auckland, New Zealand

USELESS BUT INTERESTING FACTS ● The plastic sheath on the end of a shoelace is called an aglet. ● If you drop a raisin into a glass of champagne it will bob up and down as if it’s dancing. This is because the carbonation bubbles get trapped in the raisin’s wrinkled skin, then pop when it reaches the surface. ● The dot over a lowercase “i” and a “j” is called a tittle. ● Every time you lick a stamp, you consume 2/5 of a kilojoule. ● Crocodiles and alligators are surprisingly fast on land. Although they are rapid, they are not agile. If being chased by one, run in a zigzag line to lose him or her. ● The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words.

FROM DJTECH.NET

Marchđ2015 | 39 GLOBAL VIEW

Colour Wheels A distant memory for many Asians, cycle rickshaws are still an effective – if at times terrifying – way to get around a few cities

BY MOHAN SIVANAND PHOTOGRAPHED BY GREG VORE

40 | Marchđ2015

Vinod Kumar of Allahabad, India, one of many rickshaw wallahs Greg Vore photographed over six years

Marchđ2015 | 41 COLOUR WHEELS

etting off at the metro station in bustling Old Delhi, ancient capital of India’s great GMughal emperor Shah Jahan, I’m hailed by two long lines of cycle- rickshaw wallahs. I pick a slightly built youth named Arun Kumar and hop into his rickshaw. Arun suddenly takes a right turn, pedalling on the wrong side of thebusymainroad.Igetedgy. “Won’t the cops catch you?” I ask.

“No, I am rickshaw,” he replies, in his own version of English. My narrow seat is tilted down in front and the vehicle is wide open, except for its decorated canvas canopy, exposing me head- on to noonday traffic – honking cars, trucks, buses and swarms of other rickshaws. Just then, another speeding rickshaw’s spindly wheel-hub clashes against ours. Jolted sideways, I grab the canopy’s metal bars. Another turn at a junction and we’re safe on the proper side of the road. By now Arun is also doing his other job, that of self-styled tourist guide. “That’s Haldiram’s,” he says. “Good restaurant. Want to see the Red Fort?” As Arun pedals, he’s often upright

Greg Vore photographed more than 100 rickshaws and rickshaw wallahs, mostly in Varanasi, Allahabad, Kolkata, and Dhaka for his series “Rickshaw Wallah”.

42 | Marchđ2015 READER’S DIGEST

Ornately decorated rickshaws in Bangladesh. Dhaka is called the “Rickshaw Capital”

Marchđ2015 | 43 COLOUR WHEELS

Ram Ganesh in Allahabad, where cycle rickshaws remain a cheap, non-polluting ride

44 | Marchđ2015 READER’S DIGEST and off his seat, his hands straight effective ride in several Asian towns. and stiff on the handlebar. It’s hard Dhaka in Bangladesh – the world’s labour. When we go uphill, he gets off “Rickshaw Capital” has been esti- and pushes the rickshaw with all 72kg mated to have over 500,000, and of me in it, still talking breathlessly they’re often ornately decorated. Call about the markets on both sides, the them rickshaws, pedicabs, trishaws, old mosque, even about his rickshaw. velotaxis, they’re also a tourist attrac- Rickshaws originated in Japan in tion in Singapore and some cities of the late 1860s. They were first hand- Europe and in the US. pulled and called jinriki- After being pedalled sha, from the Japanese about Old Delhi for words jin (human), riki When we go aboutanhour,Itake (strength/power) and uphill he gets Arun Kumar to lunch at sha (vehicle). Gradually Haldiram’s, where I get replacing sedan-chairs off and pushes a glimpse into his life. and palanquins that re- the rickshaw He is just 22, and lives quired more than one with all 72kg with his wife and child mantooperate,they of me in it in a shanty. He makes spread to much of Asia up to a thousand rupees and parts of Africa. Man- ($16) a day, but if he’s drawn rickshaws were lucky he may earn largely replaced by cycle rickshaws as much more; “Because I can speak rickshaw-running came to be seen as a English,” he tells me. Arun sends his degrading occupation. money regularly to his ageing par- Today, Old Delhi and other places ents back home in his distant village, in Asia still have hundreds of cycle where he’d dropped out of Grade 6. rickshaws, but motorised auto- “You’re young,” I tell him, “why don’t rickshaws and cars have replaced you study at a night school here?” them in most Indian towns and “I’m too tired by the end of the day,” cities, including Mumbai, where I he replies. “But I’ll make my son go to live. Even so, cycle rickshaws sur- college. For that I have to work even vive as a cheap, non-polluting and harder.”

NEW WORDS

Hot mic (n.): a microphone that is turned on, in particular one that broadcasts a spoken remark that was intended to be private.

TIME.COM

Marchđ2015 | 45 Laughter THE BEST MEDICINE

TEXTS GONE BAD Texting technology in the hands of stressed, confused or just plain bored parents… Thanks to crazythingsparentstext.com, we can gather the finest examples all in one place. Here are a few favourites:

ME: How did you and Dad afford a baby- MUM: Do u think u would ever have use sitter so often? They’re so expensive! for a rock collection? It is a small set w/ MUM: We didn’t, we put you guys in the about 50 rocks? basement and told you there was DAD: When do you plan to be home? a tornado… a lot. BTW, mum’s tan smells like hamburgers. ME: That’s so messed up. But genius. DAD: Bless you. DAD: I’m in family room. Bring me a beer ME: What? please. DAD: You sneezed. ME: Uh Dad… I’m still gone for another ME: Oh, thank you? Where are you? week. DAD: Outside your door. DAD: I’ll wait. MUM: How is our pregnant little MUM: Tell Rick to call me. I need to ask daughter? him something. ME: MUM… How did you know? ME: OK. He said he will in ten. MUM: I meant Perfect. MUM: Also, will you teach me how to text MUM: Wait. WHAT?? on the house phone?

HARD SELL FACING UP TO IT I was in a job interview today when I knew I was going bald because it the manager handed me his laptop was taking longer and longer to wash and said, “I want you to try and sell my face. COMEDIAN HARRY HILL this to me.” So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went DON’T GIVE UP home. Every time I almost think Eventually he called my mobile and humanity will be OK, said, “Bring it back immediately!” I see someone struggle I said, “A hundred bucks and it’s with the self-checkout yours.” for 20 minutes.

SUBMITTED BY SAM MITCHELL CAPRICE CRANE, ON TWITTER GETTY IMAGES PHOTO:

46 | Marchđ2015 COURTROOM COMEBACK The prosecutor was relentless as he badgered the witness. “What did the accused do when he learned the jewellery was part of a stolen hoard?” he demanded. “He did what any honest man would do,” said the witness. HAMMERED HOME “And what was A judge tells the defendant, “You’re that?” charged with attacking your boss “I didn’t think you’d with a hammer.” know.” “You jerk!” yells a voice from the SUBMITTED BY GENE NEWMAN back of the courtroom. “You’re also charged with attacking a bartender with a I have a lot of hammer,” says the judge. growing up to do. “Jerrrrrk!” bellows the same man. “Sir,” says the judge, “one more I realised that the outburst and I’ll charge you with other day inside my contempt.” fort. ZACH GALIFIANAKIS “I’m sorry, Your Honour,” says the man. “But I’ve been this jerk’s neighbour for ten years, and every ALL IN THE DELIVERY time I asked to borrow a hammer he In the natural said he didn’t have one.” childbirth classes my Seen on the internet wife and I took, the birthing process People always ask me how was represented by a hand puppet long it takes to being pushed do my hair. through a sock. So at I don’t know. the actual birth, I was I’m never shocked to see all this blood. The thing I had there. prepared myself for DOLLY PARTON was a lot of lint. COMEDIAN STEVE SCROVAN

Marchđ2015 | 47 INSTANT ANSWERS

START AT THE RUSSIA BEGINNING BELARUS If you’re trying to place Ukraine on a map of Europe POLAND KIEV just look for the second- biggest outline. Large by UKRA most standards, the country is dwarfed by Russia and its MO entire existence has been spent in its neighbour’s A shadow.

5-MINUTE BRIEFING

UkraineBY HAZEL FLYNN TELL ME MORE For most of the past three centuries Moscow has controlled Ukraine. Despite rich farmland that made it Europe’s breadbasket, Soviet-forced famines in the 1920s and ’30s killed more than eight million of its people. Ukraine has been independent since 1991, but Russia has remained a dominant presence. Much of the current conflict has centred on the Black Sea peninsula of Crimea. In 1954 – a decade after Joseph Stalin deported Crimea’s majority Tartar population and replaced them with Russians – his successor Nikita Khrushchev gifted Crimea to Ukraine. In February 2014, dubiously elected pro-Moscow president 78% Viktor Yanukovych was forced to flee of Ukraine’s population Ukraine and in March Russian are ethnically Ukrainian; president Vladimir Putin re-annexed 17% ethnically Russian Crimea, claiming he was righting a historical wrong.

48 | Marchđ2015 WHY DO I CARE? With Putin increasingly antagonistic towards the West, the potential scope of his ambitions is of concern to the world. No-one wants another Cold War, or worse. But if geopolitical instability in general wasn’t enough to get your attention, the downing of Malaysian Airlines flight MH17 and the death of the 298 onboard surely was. The passenger jet was shot down over Ukraine on July 17, 2014, many experts think by Russian-armed and -supported Flying the flag: Kiev, separatist militia who mistook it for a Ukrainian one of the conflict’s military flight (something Putin denies). flashpoints

the dollar amount of “aid” promised by Vladimir Putin to Ukrainian president US$15bn Viktor Yanukovych before he was ousted

HOW HAVE WORLD LEADERS RESPONDED? After initial European Union reluctance suffering oil-price-related pain, Putin – (EU countries rely heavily on Russian whose popularity soared when the oil, gas and trade), US president Ukraine crisis began – has so far Barack Obama convinced its leaders managed to repress opposition at to support sanctions, asset freezes and home. Meanwhile a deep split between travel bans against specific Russian those who support a European- companies and wealthy powerbrokers, centred future and those who want to particularly those in Putin’s inner circle. align ever more closely with Russia has Despite Russia’s economy now left Ukraine violently divided.

“Russia found itself in a position it could not retreat from. If you compress the spring all the way to its limit, it will snap back hard. You must always remember this”

VLADIMIR PUTIN (LEFT) addressing the Russian parliament on Crimea and Ukraine in March, 2014 PHOTOS: GETTY IMAGES PHOTOS:

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? ?In a game of brinkmanship on this scale no-one knows for sure. UKRAINE IN DEPTH Refugees In Their Own Country BEHIND THE NEWS

Three Ukrainian families tell their hardships and hopes for their beloved homeland

BY ELEANOR ROSE

Worried about their children’s safety and education, Yevgen and Svetlana Hutsman sent their sons Yevgeny (left) and Dimitro to a village outside Sloviansk REFUGEES IN THEIR OWN COUNTRY

he crisis that has deeply divided Ukraine – pitting citizen against citizen – started more than a year ago when then president, Viktor Yanukovych, unilaterally rejected a plan for the country to have closer ties with the European TUnion (EU). Thousands took to the streets of Kiev, the capital city, in peaceful demonstrations. Dubbed EuroMaidan, after the city’s main square where the uprising began, the protests quickly spread across the country. Within weeks the situation had deteriorated into deadly conflict pitting pro-Russian and pro-Ukrainian against each other. At least 3000 people have been killed since the start of the conflict and more than a million ordinary Ukrainians have been displaced, great numbers now refugees in their own country.

Reader’s Digest reporter Eleanor Rose’s attended were no longer safe. Life also story about three such families shows changed at School 13. Propaganda, the danger and disruption in which animosity and violence divided not Ukrainians are living. It also shows – only the town’s adults, but its children despite the grim reality of day-to-day as well. Yevgen heard a schoolchild de- life – their hopes for their country’s scribing a group of separatist-leaning future. classmates as victims of pro-Putin media. “The kids understood that an THE HUTSMAN FAMILY information war was going on,” says Yevgen Hutsman, 41, and his wife Yevgen. Svetlana, 40, both teach at School 13 But the corruption of youth went in Sloviansk, in east Ukraine, which further than talk. The couple’s borders Russia; their two sons attend 15-year-old son Yevgeny says his peers the school. When Ukraine’s central were bribed to man pro-separatist government disintegrated and Russia barricades. “My classmates told me annexed Crimea, the atmosphere in they got paid 500 Ukrainian hryvnia Sloviansk, a city of around 117,000, (about US$30) per day – more if they soured and political tensions rose. agreed to hold weapons,” he says. On April 12, pro-Russians, masked The children saw the apparatus of and carrying Kalashnikovs, seized war every day. “There was a barricade the town’s police headquarters. The close to my class teacher’s house.

pro-unity protests that the couple had There were barricades everywhere. PHOTO, PREVIOUS SPREAD: PIOTR MALECKI/GETTY ASSIGNMENT

52 | Marchđ2015 READER’S DIGEST

Everybody was involved,”says Yevgeny. With the hospitality of their kind When rebels held what was widely village hosts, the boys had done condemned as a bogus referendum well – Yevgeny received an end-of- and declared Sloviansk part of an year grade of 9.3 out of 12 last June. independent pro-Russia state, teachers Although he’d been worried about worried that students wouldn’t be able fitting in at the new school, he made to finish the school year. friends, which he feels very proud of. For Svetlana, the experience was SCHOOLS STAYED OPEN, but fewer transformational. “I learned that pupils attended. Yevgeny’s brother I’m not only a teacher of Ukrainian Dimitro, nine, was the only student language and literature, I am a citizen left in his class. Others received their of Ukraine. That’s very important.” homework online. “What I feel now is that we are not The Ukrainian army surrounded only one nation but one family,” says the city, exchanging fire with the pro- Yevgen. “Those people who came to

“When we left the meeting, participants were followed by men with baseball bats”

Russia rebels. Parents began to evacu- defend me are not just soldiers – they ate their children, transferring them to are my brothers.” smaller schools in towns beyond the reach of shells. Finally Yevgen and STANISLAV FEDORCHUK Svetlana sent their boys to a village When thousands poured into near Sloviansk, where they were put the streets of Kiev after President up by locals and would be able to fin- Yanukovych refused to sign the ish the school year, while they stayed long-awaited EU partnership deal, a in town to look after their apartment. small group of students and activists On July 5, Sloviansk was liberated gathered peacefully in the town centre by the Ukrainian army, and in August of Donetsk, in eastern Ukraine. the whole family was reunited at “Their protest was very youthful,” their home. “The Ukrainian soldiers says Stanislav Fedorchuk, a political greeted us so warmly, despite the scientist who grew up in the city. “It fact that Sloviansk was a place where was very beautiful, very naive – very perhaps some of their friends or rela- emotional.” tives had died,” says Yevgen. A writer with a background in

Marchđ2015 | 53 REFUGEES IN THEIR OWN COUNTRY

After protesting as long as was safe, Stanislav Fedorchuk moved with his wife and daughter to west Ukraine

planning events and public relations reaching demands for political for civic groups, PhD student Stanislav, change. Stanislav helped the group 33, is a man of action as well as learn- develop its ideology as it took to the ing. He was a participant in the Orange streets with loudspeakers. Revolution of 2004, a protestor against But the town Yanukovych had once fraud in the presidential run-off that governed was full of his allies, and put Yanukovych into power, and has they met pro-Ukraine and pro-Europe since become a campaigner against rallies with threats of violence. As the corruption and for press freedom. weeks wore on, many of the town’s Although Stanislav’s wife was eight young male activists streamed away months pregnant, he knew his expe- to support bigger protests in Kiev. rience organising rallies and press This left the city’s female and elderly events would be invaluable to the protesters physically vulnerable, but students. So he joined them. they continued to gather, and Stanislav In the following weeks, EuroMaidan felt responsible for protecting them. Donetsk grew, its focus expanding On January 22, 2014, a group of 200

from the quashed EU treaty to wider- EuroMaidan activists – mostly women ASSIGNMENT MALECKI/GETTY PIOTR PHOTO:

54 | Marchđ2015 READER’S DIGEST and old people – found themselves scattered, but when Stanislav went to surrounded by up to 900 pro-Russian the police station later, he found the protesters, some of whom sprayed same group waiting outside for him. them using syringes filled with paint One of them stepped forward. “We with acetone and strong spirit-based don’t have anything against you per- detergents that caused burns. sonally,” he said, “but you and your “We made the decision to take family will be persecuted. You’ve people out of there in small groups, three days to leave town.” to protect them,” says Stanislav. “It The grim reality dawned on turned out that when we left, every Stanislav that he could no longer participant was followed by men with guarantee safety for anyone – not baseball bats and other weapons. They even his family. With his wife and two- were running after activists, beating month-old baby, he left first for Tbilisi them in broad daylight, threatening in Georgia and then to the western to kill them if they ever came back.” Ukraine city of Lviv.

“I believe in unity and diversity. Differences enrich us”

The time came to elect a working Despite pressure to keep quiet, he’s group of 11 activists who would tackle determined to speak publicly to urge strategic and safety issues. Stanislav Ukrainians to stay unified against pro- was in charge of fundraising and safety; Russia separatists, and in their toler- in January and February he funded 34 ance for each other, despite ethnic, surgeries for EuroMaidan protesters religious and political differences. In who’d suffered face and head injuries. his new hometown he holds meetings Then, in late February, Stanislav with politicians and NGOs, lobbying held a press conference. He’d already for more help for displaced families. changed the location five times for Proud that so many thousands of security when, after half an hour, he Ukrainians have been united in a fight checked out the window from his for a better future, he’s hopeful that, in current spot. A gang of 30 men were coming years, progress will be made. waiting outside, wearing medical “I understand that a corrupt society masks and carrying baseball bats. cannot be changed in one day,” says He called the police for help; they Stanislav, “but I believe in unity and took an hour to arrive. The mob diversity. Differences enrich us.”

Marchđ2015 | 55 REFUGEES IN THEIR OWN COUNTRY

When Ismail Osmanov’s two daughters ask if they will ever return home to Crimea, he says yes: “I think it is our destiny”

taken five years to build, selling Eastern specialty sweets. He appreciated Ukraine’s relative tolerance to the Crimean Tatars and supported EU integration. As the pro-Europe protests spread across Ukraine, Ismail felt it was his civic duty to take part. In February 2014, Crimean ISMAIL OSMANOV pro-Russian politicians decided to When Ismail Osmanov’s grandfa- vote to allow a referendum to take ther crossed the threshold of his place on whether Crimeans wanted newhomeinCrimea,hewascry- to split from Ukraine and rejoin Rus- ing. So was his grandmother. Even sia. A rally of 5000 Crimean Tatars Ismail was. He was eight years old, it surrounded Simferopol’s Supreme was 1990, and the Muslim Crimean Council building, Ismail among them, Tatarpeople–brutallydeportedfrom to block the vote. Crimea by Stalin in 1944 – were get- In the evening, they were told to go ting their long-awaited homecoming. home. They felt uneasy, says Ismail, FollowingthebreakupoftheSoviet but were reassured by leaders from the Union, Crimea was now an autono- Crimean Tatar party that all would be mous part of Ukraine. Their tears well. The protesters dispersed. were happy ones. The next day, they tried to gather Now, 24 years later, Ismail, 32, and again in the same place, but found wife and two daughters (aged six the streets teeming with soldiers and eight), have been forced to leave bearing no insignia but bearing arms: Crimea, this time to the tiny town of Ismail guessed they were Russian. Sokal in west Ukraine. “That’s when we began to feel real When Russian troops entered the fear,” he says. Crimea, Ismail was living in Simfer- Within days, Russian troops began opol, the region’s capital. He spent to pour into Simferopol. Ismail

his days running the business he’d counted 70 trucks of troops as they ASSIGNMENT MALECKI/GETTY PIOTR PHOTO:

56 | Marchđ2015 READER’S DIGEST arrived. Unrest intensified. Ismail own business is all but lost. Although heard that gangs of thugs wearing it’s painful, he said there are worse masks were breaking into Tatars’ things – to lose his values, for exam- homes and beating them. In early ple, would be the worst. He focuses on March, an activist from Ismail’s the positives. community disappeared; Reshat “In 24 years in Crimea, many Tatars Ametov was found dead in a ditch two had become concentrated on their weeks later, naked and handcuffed. everyday problems and improving “We then noticed that in some their social position,” he says. “Now areas, the houses of Crimean Tatars we’re all in the same situation, and were marked with a cross,”says Ismail. everybody is trying to recover their He and his neighbours believed they ties. Some of those who’d forgotten our were being targeted for break-ins. language are now trying to speak it.” Ismail joined a Tatar self-defence After a lifetime of speaking Russian group, patrolling the streets looking and Crimean Tatar, Ismail himself is

“Now we’re all in the same situation, and everybodyistryingtorecovertheirties”

for signs of trouble. The referendum finally learning Ukrainian. Despite was held in March, and Crimea was differences in religion, ethnic Ukrain- absorbed into Russia. Although the ians share historical and linguistic ties international community condemned with the Crimean Tatars, he says – as the poll, calling it illegal, they took no well as a common cause. action. Smiling, he adds: “In fact the word Ismail’s hopes that the Ukrainian maidan (square) – as in ‘EuroMaidan’ army would step in waned, and – is borrowed from Crimean Tatar.” repression of Muslim Tatar traditions Sometimes his daughters ask if was becoming routine. Teachers at they’ll be going home. Muslim schools were being harassed; “I tell them yes,” he says. “I believe Tatars were interrogated by police. it. Not today or tomorrow, but in the Ismail decided it was time to leave. future. I think it’s our destiny.” After bringing his family to

Sokal, Ismail worked as a volun- RD believes that Ismail and his family teer for Crimean Wave, which helps have moved from Ukraine and are now in displaced Crimean families. Ismail’s Poland.

Marchđ2015 | 57 one. occupation female into aprimarily science from male aprimarily credited helpingturnforensic with This so-called scientific know-how tosolveacrime. hair inalabcoat getstouseher greatshow inwhichacoolchickwith watched anyone inthat field,butthey’ve all Few, ifany,ofthegirlshave evermet Girls WhoCodeisforensic science. aspiration named onapplications for addressed tosomeoneyoulove. itwere text, email andpostas[if] all communication. Composeevery one radical stand:commit tocivilityin andradio.emanate dailyfrom TV Take HUMILIATION, GOSSIP COMMONCAREER THE MOST Points to to Ponder Points CSI reporter, , Bones CSI

in theNew York Times Magazine effecthas been , orsomeother CATHERINE RAMPELL, MITCH HOROWITZ, and snarkiness writer, a wherew they learnto take turnsandto share c d family mealisthenurseryof The T

ivilise ourchildren atthetable. That’s dto argue. nd emocracy. Ireally dothinkwe literally on time.com

sure that’s ahillyouwant todieon? are you yourself before youpickafight: around eachotherisunderstandable. this obdurate fact, alittleshyness or evenheard by anyoneelse. Given guarantee that beunderstood wewill is aleapinto thedark, no with I saidnotoallofthem. I’m soproud. thing. Don’t!No, no, no, no, no!”… “Please don’tgoanddothat brave that basicallyinvolved saying toaman, offered] ofroles[being awholestring I wasinmy 30sandhad just started THAT’S ALWAYS EVERY ATTEMPT AT THERE WAS APATCH political analyst, political

MICHAEL POLLAN, social historian, social actress,

in thememoirLove andWar, which a good question to ask a goodquestiontoask he cowrote withwife MaryMatalin author, communication oftimewhen

in theHollywood Reporter EMMA THOMPSON, JAMES CARVILLE,

on earthisland.org in JOE MORAN, Aeon magazine

PHOTOS: GETTY IMAGES Save your shoes. Save them all … Like music, they can take you back to certain moments, certain people, certain memories. DIANE KEATON, actress, from her book Let’s Just Say It Wasn’t Pretty

WHILE DEMOCRACY in the long run EVOLUTION ONLY SELECTS for things is the most stable form of government, that provide a competitive advantage. in the short run, it is among the We think of being nice as this nice most fragile. thing, but it’s a weapon. My genes are more likely to spread if I am willing to MADELEINE K. ALBRIGHT, cooperate with others. former secretary of state, in a speech

JOSHUA GREEN, WHEN THEY INVENTED papyrus, psychologist, in the Boston Globe someone probably said, “Storytelling was so good. Why did we have to go IDLENESS IS NOT JUST a vacation, an and put it on papyrus?” But one thing indulgence, or a vice. The space and doesn’t change: It’s the story that quiet [it] provides is a necessary counts. The medium doesn’t matter. condition for standing back from life and seeing it whole. It is, ERIC CARLE, paradoxically, necessary to getting children’s book author, in USA Today work done.

TIM KREIDER, cartoonist and author, in the New York Times

People say to me, “Why don’t you play weak characters?” And I say, “I don’t know any weak women!” REESE WITHERSPOON, actress, on huffingtonpost.com

Marchđ2015 | 59 S QUIZ S READER’S DIGEST LongLive Kingthe This year the King of Rock ’n’ Roll would have celebrated his 80th birthday. He may have “left the building” but his music lives on.

BY MICHAEL KALLINGER PHOTO: ALLSTAR PL ALLSTAR PHOTO: SMarchđ2015 | 61 ol uhrather have had: much would aenlgrandmother? paternal parents andhis his himself, for 1957 2 1 Questions iconinthehistoryofpop music. HowwelldoyouknowtheKing? unprecedented an stopped lost heart world Presley’s the Aaron movies. beating, Elvis successful when 33 1977, in 16, starred August and On records billion a over sold He KING THE LIVE LONG 4 3 young? notdiedso had Elvis if son-in-law )Graceland c) Neverland b) Ranch Shiloh a) c) Nat King Cole King B.B. b) Jackson Michael a) )S.Lus Missouri Louis, St. c) Mississippi Tupelo, b) Tennessee Memphis, a) )bsbl gear baseball c) bicycle a b) a)atrumpet li born? Elvis was city US Southern what In htEvsbuh nMarch in bought Elvis estate that the of name the is What hnh a 1 culyhe Actually 11. was he when guitar first his given was Elvis ui ol aebe Elvis’s been have would music popular of king other Which hc eyseilbadge? special very which 7 6 months? 18 of total a for stationed he 5 8 euiuat thetime? Beaulieu wasPriscilla old How Marie. Lisa c) basketball bowling b) karate a) )Hnll,Hawaii Honolulu, c) Austria Salzburg, b) Germany Friedberg, a) )34 c) 24 b) 14 a) )itrainlambassadorfor international c) Bureau the of Assistant Special b) state the of governor honorary a) Nixon Richard president US 1970 In mrcnfl music folk American fMississippi of rg fteUSA the of Drugs Dangerous and Narcotics of icvrdhislove of discovered Elvis service military his During ohrt-eo i daughter his the of met mother-to-be Elvis 24, age at 1959, In nomltr evc.Weewas Where service. military into drafted was Elvis 1958 March In rsne h igrwith singer the presented

PHOTOS (FROM LEFT TO RIGHT): © PICTURE ALLIANCE; 2X © ALLSTAR PL READER’S DIGEST

At his concerts, Elvis frequently On the burial ground of Elvis’s 9 had his audiences screaming 11 former estate there are four with delight – at least the female con- graves. Elvis’s own, his parents’ and: tingent. But there was one thing his a) his dog Sweet Pea’s fans had to do without. What? b) his manager Colonel Tom a) autographs Parker’s b) encores c) his grandmother’s c) their idol playing the guitar Which nickname was earned In his later years Elvis was 12 by the singer’s dancing 10 troubled by weight problems. gyrations while performing? What did he allegedly most love to a) The Redneck Rocker eat? b) Elvis the Pelvis a) steak and roast potatoes c) The Hippy Hippy Shaker b) vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce c) peanut butter and banana sandwiches LONG LIVE THE KING

When Elvis first met 6a) Priscilla in 1959 in Bad Answers Nauheim, the stepdaughter of a Canadian officer stationed in On January 8, 1935, Gladys Germany was no more than 14 years 1b) Presley gave birth to twin old. Elvis and Priscilla got married boys in East Tupelo, Mississippi: in Las Vegas in 1967. One of them, Jesse, was stillborn; his brother Elvis was a perfectly Elvis had explicitly asked healthy baby. Later the family moved 7b) Nixon for the badge from the to Memphis, Tennessee because Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous they hoped the economic prospects Drugs. He wanted to include it in his would be better there. collection of police badges.

More than anything else In 1960 Elvis earned a black 2b) Elvis wanted a bicycle, but 8a) belt in karate. His first his parents couldn’t afford one. In instructor was German Jürgen Seydel. 1946 they persuaded him to opt for a guitar instead. The instrument cost At live concerts Elvis the princely sum of $12.50. 9b) played the guitar and was generous with autographs. But he In 1957 Elvis bought did not play encores. 3c) the Graceland mansion in Memphis, Tennessee for over All his life, the King had a $100,000. Neverland is the estate that 10c) weakness for the treat his once belonged to Michael Jackson. mother had spoiled him with.

In 1994, Michael Jackson Blessed with an iron 4a) (1958 – 2009), the “King of 11c) constitution, Minnie Mae Pop”,married Elvis’s only daughter, Hood Presley died in 1980 at the age Lisa Marie Presley. The marriage of almost 90, surviving not only Elvis lasted just under two years. himself but also his parents.

From 1958 to 1960 Elvis Elvis’s swivel-hips earned 5a) did his military service 12b) him the name “Elvis the in Friedberg, Hesse. While he was Pelvis”.Paragons of moral virtue there, his family lived in nearby Bad found his gyrations so provocative Nauheim. The movie G.I. Blues is a that in early TV shows he was only reminiscence of his time in Germany. shown from the waist upwards.

64 | Marchđ2015 That’s Outrageous! POOR SPORTS

THE DAY AFTER the Bakersfield second game of the Condors in American League Bakersfield. baseball playoffs, The Condors Detroit native Robert welcomed Shiller called his its fans and brother to tell him the Thunder that he’d won the with a special Nobel Prize in promotion: Our economics. City Isn’t Bankrupt “I said, ‘Did you Night. hear the news?’” Source: abcnews.com said Shiller. “And he said, ‘Yeah, the Tigers lost.’” IN A FOOTBALL MATCH in Spain Source: The Hartford Courant (Connecticut) between Recreativo Linense and Saladillo de Algeciras, Recreativo A HEAVY GROUND FOG had settled were winning 1-0 when one of their across the Delta Downs racetrack players was red-carded in the 54th when jockey Sylvester Carmouche minute. A fight broke out, which then pulled off a surprise upset on the 23-1 escalated into a brawl involving Landing Officer, winning by an several members of the crowd. The astonishing 24 lengths. match was swiftly abandoned by the After protests and video replays it referee, who proceeded to show was discovered the jockey had steered straight red cards to nine players from the horse out of the race while lost each side. Source: The Guardian from view in the fog, cut across the course and rejoined the field as the ARE YOU THE SORT of cardplayer other horses came around. Source: ESPN whose face gives it away when you get a royal flush? Good news! A New SOON AFTER the city of Stockton, York plastic surgeon has introduced California, filed for bankruptcy, its “Pokertox”,a programme of Botox and minor-league hockey team, the facial fillers designed to enhance a

ILLUSTRATION: NISHANT CHOKSI Thunder, was scheduled to play the player’s poker face. Source: huffingtonpost.com

Marchđ2015 | 65 HEALTH

66 | Marchđ2015 ILLUSTRATION: HELEN FRIEL Your Good KATHARINE LAWESKNEWWHAT SLEEPAPNOEAWAS that she’dbeen gaspingforairduringthe night. understood what itmeantwhenherson toldher on holidaywithherfamily two yearsago,she diagnosed withthecondition. Sowhenshewent older brother,acousinand afriendhadallbeen before sheeverspentthe night inasleeplab.Her Stealing Sleep apnoeamay betheculprit What’s Night’s Sleep? Sleep? BY E.R.KING March

đ2015

| 67 WHAT’S STEALING YOUR GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP?

Lawes, 67, also heard how serious sleep apnoea could be. “You’re tired during the day because you haven’t slept. Your body’s been working too hard to stay alive,” Lawes, a Canadian who lives in Spain, recalled her brother saying. “When you wake up, you’re exhausted.”

That’s exactly what happens during pressure. And there’s another poten- sleep apnoea, says Dr F. Javier Puertas, tially deadly effect: traffic accidents head of the Sleep Medicine Centre at caused by sleepy drivers. It’s not clear La Ribera University Hospital in Alzira, exactly how many such crashes there Spain. In people with obstructive sleep are, but sleep experts in Europe esti- apnoea, the upper airway narrows, mate a figure around 20% of all motor collapses and cuts off, or obstructs, the vehicle accidents. This figure is sup- body’s air supply during sleep. Not ported by a survey last year by the surprisingly, the lack of air causes European Sleep Research Society, many people to first snore, then gasp which found that one in five Europeans and wake up in order to restore normal said they had fallen asleep at the wheel breathing. in the previous two years. Among those “In some cases it happens hundreds who had snoozed, 7% said they had of times during the night,”Puertas says. had an accident as a result. “The patient isn’t aware of these The concern about accidents has awakenings. Normally they last around led a working group for the European three or five seconds, and at the end of Commission on Sleep Apnoea and the night patients only remember that Driving to recommend that the EU re- the sleep hasn’t been refreshing.” quire drivers with sleep apnoea to get Not all snoring is sleep apnoea. But it under control, or else risk losing their very loud snoring, because of the licences. The good news? “It’s been obstructed airway, is sometimes a sign demonstrated clearly now that effec- of it. Other symptoms: daytime sleepi- tive treatment of sleep apnoea removes ness, morning headaches, high blood any excess risk of an auto accident,” pressure and abrupt awakenings or says Dr Walter McNicholas, the chair- periods when someone else notices man of the working group and director that you’ve stopped breathing. of the Pulmonary and Sleep Disorders Unit at St Vincent’s University Hospital UNTREATED SLEEP APNOEA has in Dublin. beenlinkedtoproblemswithglucose controlthatcanleadtodiabetes,and YOU MAY NOT HAVE KNOWN ABOUT with cardiovascular problems, such this condition ten or 20 years ago. Two as an increased risk of high blood decades ago, as few as 4% of men and

68 | Marchđ2015 READER’S DIGEST

2% of women had sleep apnoea, but both in sleep labs and in the home. those numbers are increasing, in part Devices that can detect sleep patterns, because more people have risk factors or portable monitors that can track for it, such as obesity, McNicholas says. sleep while worn to bed at home, are Genetic factors may also play a role. two promising solutions. “Figures in the region of five to ten per Today, most people must still spend cent are now regularly talked about as a night in a sleep lab in order to be prevalence figures for significant sleep diagnosed. Many find it’s not as strange apnoea,” he says. an environment as they expected. “I With more cases comes another thought I was going to have a hard concern. “When you consider that you time, but I fell right asleep,”Lawes says. diagnose such people by the monitor- She says it helped to keep in mind that ing of their breathing while they sleep, finding an answer to her sleep problem then the logistics of that are immense,” was going to be a good thing. notes McNicholas. As a result, a good Treatment can be another story. deal of research is focused on ways to Probably the most familiar – and at the easily and effectively find sleep apnoea, same time most common and most

ARE YOU AT RISK OF SLEEP APNOEA?

Tick any of these statements that apply to you.

SECTION A SECTION B ❑ I snore loudly. ❑ I am significantly overweight. ❑ I often feel tired during ❑ I’m over the age of 50. the day. ❑ The circumference of my ❑ I’ve been told I stop breathing neck is greater than 43cm or choke/gasp while I sleep. (man) or 41cm (woman). ❑ I have high blood pressure, ❑ I’m a man. or take medicine to treat it.

If you ticked five or more questions overall, or two or more questions in section A and you are male or have a body mass index of more than 35, you have a high risk of sleep apnoea. Discuss this with your doctor.

Marchđ2015 | 69 WHAT’S STEALING YOUR GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP? effective – treatment today is CPAP, subconscious reaction to being able which stands for continuous positive finally to relax and have a restful night’s airway pressure. The system involves a sleep after months or years of small air pump, tube and a mask that untreated sleep apnoea. covers the nose (or nose and mouth) Still, a CPAP takes some getting used during sleep to direct air gently into the to. When Lawes first began treatment, upper airway. the mask didn’t fit correctly. A smaller mask was the solution. And later, when THE THOUGHT OF SLEEPING with a she felt the air itself was a little bother- mask for the rest of one’s life is some, she was able to get a humidifier certainly off-putting to some, Puertas attachment to moisten the air and help says. “I tell my patients that the CPAP her breathe easier. is like glasses.”When you wake up, you Sometimes she falls asleep without put your glasses on. In much the same the mask or takes it off halfway through way, he says, when it’s time to fall the night – a not-uncommon situa- asleep, you put on your CPAP. tion, Puertas says – but after a few days After a while, some people even without CPAP, the full symptoms of develop an attachment to their device. sleep apnoea will return. Lawes notices Says McNicholas, “They actually go to a difference the day after she doesn’t bed and snuggle up with the CPAP use the CPAP for the full five hours or mask.” He believes it’s the body’s so recommended; she’s more prone to falling asleep during the afternoon and doesn’t feel as alert and in good health HOW DOES CPAP WORK? on those days. Knowing that consistent treatment is essential for her health A mask covering the nose or makes it easier to try and be consistent, nose and mouth supplies gently she says. pressurised air into the throat. Partners, even those who are leery at CPAP machines can be adjusted first, are many times also comforted by to supply low air pressure while the fact that the CPAP does an impor- the user falls asleep and build up to higher pressure once asleep. tant job: instead of worrying that their partner will stop breathing, there is re- lief, Puertas says. Some partners do complain about the machine’s noise, and that’s not an easy issue to solve, he says. But the bedroom often gets qui- eter because there’s less snoring. “Most of them prefer the uniform – and nor-

mally low – CPAP noise to the loud PHOTO: RESMED

70 | Marchđ2015 READER’S DIGEST snoring,” Puertas says. And having a More and more, awareness of sleep supportive partner has been shown to apnoea brings people to their doctor’s help people stick with CPAP, according offices. “They’ve read about the risk to a new study. of heart attack and stroke, and Lawes has gone on holiday with they’re aware that untreated sleep friends and family since beginning apnoea puts them at higher risk of treatment. On one trip, after she took those medical complications,” Mc- off her mask during the night, a friend Nicholas says. “And they actually woke her up to tell her to put it back come expressing a concern about on because she was snoring. that and a desire to be investigated Lawes is also spreading the word for sleep apnoea.” about sleep apnoea. A friend with Many people are surprised that they some health issues, including heart do get used to a CPAP. “People say in trouble, was told she might have sleep advance of treatment, ‘I couldn’t sleep apnoea but was afraid to go to the with that thing.’ I regularly get that sleep lab. “She was petrified to take the comment in my practice. But the real- test,” Lawes says. “When I told her the ity is, they tolerate it very well,”he says, seriousness of it, she went and got “and they get a huge benefit.” tested.” After a month using her new CPAP she told Lawes that she was get- For more information about sleep ting a lot more sleep, and that she was apnoea and its treatment, visit looking forward to the results of some www.sleep-apnoea-trust.org or new tests about her heart. www.sleephealthfoundation.org.au.

ARE YOU PLAYING GAMES?

● The longest game of Monopoly lasted 70 days.

O Snakes and Ladders originated in India in the 16th century.

O The highest scoring seven-letter word you can open with in Scrabble is muzjiks (a Russian peasant).

O Jenga, the block-stacking game, is Swahili for “build”.

O The most expensive Monopoly set in the world is worth $2 million. It was crafted with gold, rubies, sapphires, and

42 diamonds. BUZZFEED.COM

Marchđ2015 | 71 Life’s Like That SEEING THE FUNNY SIDE

From the Archives Hold on to your grey matter. This fascinatinglyy circular anecdote from March 1957 might have given thhe great M.C. Escher himself a migraine and an excuse to lie down: Several of us were doing some shopping at a suburban store when the elderly storekeeperr made a quaint remark which struck us as funny. It was immediately suggested that I write his remark up for Reader’s Digest. I was the last one out of the store and, as I left, the old fellow put his hand on my arm. “Miss, don’t waste your postage on that,” he said. “I been usin’ it for years – and I got it outut of the Digest in the first place!” SUBMITTED BY MONTANYE PERRY

UNSEARCHABLE NEVER LOOKED BETTER I was trying to teach my At the funeral of a family mother how to use the friend, I was chatting to June, internet, but at 86 she felt she an elderly lady I hadn’t seen could carry on perfectly well since I was a teenager. I was without it. Determined to prove thrilled when she told me what a how good it was, I told her she could beautiful young woman I’d become. Google any question she liked and it On the journey home, I remarked would find an answer. to my mother how lovely it had been She was uncertain but, egged on to see June again. by me, she typed in, “How is Ingrid “Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s doing this morning?” gone blind,” she said sadly. SUBMITTED BY BETH WEBB SUBMITTED BY REBECCA RIDGEWAY

72 | Marchđ2015 PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES tomorrow?” him with Icome Can sleep. up onhis catch to he’s and trying ofthree age the under “Two itread. are children,” collar. adifferentwith notepinnedtohis a nap.” afternoon hecomestomy housefor ask ifyou’re aware that almostevery dogis,owner ofthiswonderful and “I’dhis collar: liketofindoutwhothe continued forseveral weeks. foraboutanhour.again slept This resumed hisspotinthehall and him out. later, hewent tothedoorandIlet the cornerandfellasleep. Anhour thehall,walked down curledupin followed meinto my house, slowly him afewpats ontheheadandhe that hewaswelllookedafter. Igave tell from hiscollarandwell-fedbelly into my garden oneafternoon.Icould An old,tired-looking dogwandered BLISSFULLY LOST “He lives in a home with six six ahome with in “He lives forhisrestThe nextday hearrived Finally, curious, Ipinned anoteto The nextday hewasback.He SUBMITTED BY JONDRURIE (@JOSHMALINA) JOSH MALINA strangers. know any I didn’t LinkedIn, Before The GreatTweet-off: are peoplewho died duringthatad. Skip onadsbefore YouTube videos The onlypeoplewhodon’tclick and he’llstill Instagram it. Instagram it;teach aman to fish, Give amanfish,andhe’ll minutes. Twitter isagreat way to fill35 When you’ve got5minutes to fill, of themall:Twitter. a joke to bemadeonthemother have to connect thesedays, there’s YouTube …for every new way we Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, akgn n upsatcars. jump-start and packaging humans tryingto openDVD where they uploadclipsofcute I betcatshave asecret website Social MediaEdition BRADEN GRAEBER@HIPSTERMERMAID DAMIEN FAHEY @DAMIENFAHEY ATRLE @ROLLDIGITY ROLLER MATT MATT CUTTS @MATTCUTTS who howhichwhowhohic wwho whow h hich w who wwh whowho who c whowhich whi whowho who wc whichwho whi who o whichwhh whowhich whicwh i whichwhwh wwhichhich o which who ho ichhichwhich w wh w whic h whic who LIVING LANGUAGE chwhich ho hich There’s one grammatical rule that Reader’s Digest chief subeditor Donyale Harrison thinks ch everyone should know ch whoTh t’s Restrictive! o BY DONYALE HARRISON I WAS RECENTLY CHATTING to a colleague whose writing h I always enjoy. She leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, “Can I ask one thing? When should I use ‘that’ and when should hich I use ‘which’?” Having edited many of her stories, I can vouch it’s some- thing she instinctively gets right, but I wasn’t surprised by her question – it’s the worst-taught grammatical rule I can think of. ich She was referring to sentences like: “The house that we built was burned in the bushfire.” This is a nice, easy sentence, with no hidden tricks. The o words “that we built” are what’s known as a restrictive clause. ch which who LIVING LANGUAGE

The clause restricts the meaning Commas are an obvious difference of the sentence: it tells you that the between the two examples. Restric- burnt house was built by us, and tive clauses don’t have commas. Non- also it’s probably the only one we’ve restrictive clauses always do. There’s constructed. also the word that to consider. That Restrictive clauses are also known is always restrictive, though you can as defining relative clauses: they often also leave that out: “The book define the rest of the sentence. If you that I wrote is still being edited.” take the restrictive clause out of that One complication: you can use example, you’re left with “The house which for both types of clause, was burned in the bushfire.” While it’s especially in British English. Annoy- still bad news for the house, it’s not ingly, some teachers have taught stu- very informative, and it won’t help dents that you should always have a you understand why we’re looking comma before a which. But if you can ruefully at our callused hands and substitute that for which, leave the having a bit of a cry. commas out*. Most fluent English speakers are You can often present the same in- good at getting restrictive clauses formation using either type of clause right in speech. But problems crop up without problems. The first example when we’re writing, usually because I gave could have been written: “The we panic and throw in random house, which was the only one we punctuation. ever built, was burned…” Take a look at “The house, which What does cause problems is when we built, was burned to the ground you use one form, but mean the this morning.” The sentence sounds other. For example: “Meredith lay on similar to the first example, but it the sisal carpet, not caring about the contains subtly different information. fibres working their way into the wool We could have built dozens of houses of her trousers that would be almost and not care deeply about this one. impossible to remove later.” Here the The clause “which we built” gives restrictive clause relates to Meredith’s extra detail, but it’s not essential to trousers, which have become mysteri- the sentence. It could just as easily ously glued to her nether regions. The be “which we sold in 2008” or “which writer actually meant: “,which would cost $300,000 to build”. be nigh impossible to remove later”,a These sorts of clauses are called non-restrictive clause meaning that non-restrictive, or non-defining, because they don’t limit the meaning *Some style guides insist on only using of the sentence in the way a restrictive that, not which, for restrictive clauses. This clause does. isn’t a real rule; feel free to ignore it!

76 | Marchđ2015 READER’S DIGEST

Meredith’s trousers would be fuzzy, not permanently attached. AT A GLANCE Restrictive and non-restrictive clauses happen to people as well as things. “My friends, who live in Rome, Restrictive clauses: O are essential to the are doctors” is non-restrictive: I have sentence’s meaning. some friends who are doctors and live O can start with that, though in Rome; I might also have plumber they don’t have to. friends in Rome. “My friends who live O don’t have commas. in Rome are doctors” says that all my Roman friends are doctors. Non-restrictive clauses: There are authorities who suggest O add non-essential that we should use who or whom only information and can be left out. that O can start with words like for non-restrictive clauses and for which and who but NOT with all restrictive clauses (I’m looking at that. you, Fowler’s Modern English Usage). O are always separated from Then there are others who shudder at the main sentence with a the thought of using that for people. I comma or two. say life is short and if it sounds right and makes sense, you should be OK.  The story that I wrote is For advanced players, there are also mentally challenging.  The story I wrote is mentally restrictive and non-restrictive clauses challenging. that which who without , or . But let’s  This story, which our copy not stretch a friendship by worrying chief wrote, is mentally about them today. challenging. The easiest way to get these sen-  This story is mentally tences right is to watch for those challenging. helpful commas. Additionally, you  Thestory,thatIwrote,is can’t remove a restrictive clause and mentally challenging.  The story which our copy have the sentence still make the same chief agonised over is mentally sense: “The blue-haired girl who was challenging. on a moped stole my bag.”But you can  This story, is mentally remove a non-restrictive clause and challenging. the larger sentence will still work: “My cyclist friend Imogen, who dyed her hair blue last week, has been falsely isn’t as straightforward as it could be. accused of mugging.” But as long you haven’t accidentally Sadly for my friend, the answer to glued anyone’s trousers to their legs, whether it should be that or which you’re probably fine.

Marchđ2015 | 77 What we know about your precious parcels that you don’t CONFESSIONS OF A COURIER BY SARA OHLMS AS TOLD TO ROBERT EVANS FROM CRACKED.COM

THE GROWTH in online shopping Why Your Box has led to an increase in parcel Arrives Squished deliveries in and out of residen- You stuffed the box full of bubble wrap tial areas. And for many items, and taped the heck out of it. But please you’regoingtoneedthehelpofa don’t underestimate how this thing parcel delivery service. Of course, could get abused. These packages sit “parceldeliveryservice”isasyno- on a slide while hundreds of others nym for “herds of uncomfortable, push from behind. If an especially sleep-deprived people shoving too heavy package slides down on top of many boxes into not enough truck” yours, the box can burst open or get –especiallyoverbusytimeslike flattened. And I won’t lie and say I’ve the Christmas season. I was once a never stood on a package to reach the seasonal package-loading zombie top of the trailer. for UPS, the largest shipment and Many people submit claims for logistics company in the world. Now damages, only to have them denied I’mheretotellyouhowtomakesure because the tape on the box wasn’t that that Xbox or envelope full of wide enough. If you don’t package cash arrives in one piece. It’s harder your stuff exactly according to a

than you think. delivery service’s rules, the handler EDDIE GUY BY ILLUSTRATION

78 | Marchđ2015 TRADE SECRETS can deny your damage claim. Oh, and I’ll give you an extra hint: waterproof what’s inside. The trucks are huge metal or wooden boxes that sit outside for years. Sometimes they get holes in them; when it rains, they may leak. HaveImadeyou paranoid that you can’t ship something expensive without vacuum-sealing it in layers of Kevlar? Let me offer a quick tip: buy a cheap plastic cooler box. Put the expensive item in the cooler; put both inside a box. If you don’t un- derstand why, take the cooler out back and pound on it with a bat. You have a is treating your box like a princess better chance of the bat bouncing because you had a marker pen. up and breaking your nose than you On my very first day, my supervi- do of breaking through that cooler. sor took me to one of the trailers to show me how to load. He took a light Write “Fragile” package and tossed it up to the top At Your Own Risk of a stack. He missed. He picked it We know how you think: just write up off the trailer floor and tossed it fragile on the side of a box (regard- back up there. “That said fragile on less of what’s in it) so all those stran- it,” I said, scandalised. He looked gers handling your package will at me like I was crazy. “They all say take extra care! Ha, no. Each loader fragile,” he said. handles hundreds of packages an So you figure you might as well mark hour during a four-hour shift. No-one that box anyway – can’t hurt, right?

Marchđ2015 | 79 CONFESSIONS OF A COURIER

When Popular Mechanics shipped Boxes ride belts, and every time one sensors in both marked and unmarked belt meets another, there is a chance packages, the “fragile” boxes wound an envelope can get stuck between up taking more punishment. them. When that happens, it’s like If your shipment must arrive in one tripping at the head of a stampede. piece, you can pay more to have your There’s nothing we can do for your goods deemed a “high value” package. envelope but say a quiet prayer. Special employees put these packages If you need to send a letter, put it in in waterproof bags and load them into a box or use the postal service. Enve- the trailers. They don’t go on any belts. lopes are their speciality. Crayons Get Me The Problem with Every Time Reusing Boxes I’m in my trailer for up to four hours Many of you don’t remove old labels. at a time, surrounded by brown. Any- If I happen to notice that a box has thing that stands out can brighten two labels, I have to guess which is my day. So if you want your package right in maybe 30 seconds. I usually handled a little more tenderly, give it go with the cleaner label, as I figure to your small child and let him or her it’s been through the system fewer write on it in crayon. I’m not about to times, making it newer. If I’m in Mis- smash a package that belongs to some souri and I see only the label that says kid. I see all the crayon scribbles and Arizona, that’s where it’s going. But poorly spelled adulation for Mum suppose the guy in Arizona sees only or Grandad, and all I can picture is a the label that says Missouri. Theoreti- toddler sending a beloved teddy cally, your package could go back and bear to Grandma because she has forth forever. only days to live. Nothing is going to If you don’t like the environmental happen to Teddy on my watch! impact of buying a brand-new box every time, remove all old labels or We Feel Bad for Envelopes memorise the route to your recycling Much of the A-to-B movement of your centre. And pick up a cooler on your precious shipment isn’t done by hand. way back while you’re at it.

CRACKED.COM (NOVEMBER 4, 2013), © 2013 BY DEMAND MEDIA, INC., CRACKED.COM.

IT’S NOT EASY BEING RICH AND FAMOUS

“I just want one day off when I can go swimming and eat ice-cream

and look at rainbows.” Us too, Mariah Carey, us too. NEWS.COM.AU

80 | Marchđ2015 You never know howw strong you are, untill being strong is your only choice. BOB MARLEY, musician

There’s nothing that makes you more insane than family. Or more happy. Or more exasperated. Or more ... secure. JIM BUTCHER, author

OH, I LOVE HUGGING. I have not failed. I WISH I WAS AN I’ve just found OCTOPUS, SO I COULD 10,000 ways that HUG TEN PEOPLE AT won’t work. A TIME! THOMAS EDISON, inventor DREW BARRYMORE, actor

NEVER INTERRUPT They say a person needs just SOMEONE DOING three things to be truly happy in WHAT YOU SAID this world: someone to love, COULDN’T BE DONE. something to do, and something AMELIA EARHART, aviator to hope for. TOM BODETT, US radio host

Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious

PHOTOS: GETTY IMAGES to them after a while. STEVE JOBS, entrepreneur

Marchđ2015 | 81 ADVICE

HeartAttackPrevention: What Docs

Don’tBY JOEL Learn K. KAHN

I STARED AT 250 YOUNG FACES as I stood at the front of a giant circular auditorium. I was about to deliver a lecture on preventive cardiology to second-year medical students. They were well educated in determining cholesterol-lowering drugs and even performing bypass surgery. But how to ensure that a patient never ends up in a cardiologist’s office in the first place? How would I ever condense everything I knew about preventing DR JOEL K. I can’t is a heart disease into a lecture that lasted not even one hour? KAHN believe what I’m not going to tell them clinical , I thought. professor of I wish I could teach all future cardiologists to discuss these medicine at simple, low-cost tips with their patients. Wayne State University in The most powerful medicine: food Detroit, US. He is the author of I’ve personally followed a plant-based diet for decades, but The Holistic when the medical literature started reporting that this eating Heart Book. style helped reduce the rate of heart attacks, I began recom- mending it to patients. Many of them don’t go meat-free, but they still benefit from these tips:

● HAVE AT LEAST FIVE CUPS OF VEGETABLES A DAY Two

of the largest studies examining how eating habits affect JOE MCKENDRY WILLIAM BRINSON; KAHN ILLUSTRATION: PHOTO:

82 | Marchđ2015 chronic disease have found that ● DRINK THREE CUPS OF TEA people who ate eight or more servings ADAYGreen, black and oolong varie- of fruit and vegetables a day were 30% ties help reduce levels of total less likely to have a heart attack or cholesterol and triglycerides, regulate stroke than people who consumed levels of blood sugar, and soothe one and a half servings or fewer. My inflammation. patients find it easy – and tasty – to drink some of their servings by mak- ● IF YOU MUST EAT MEAT, EAT IT ing a greens-based juice (with fruit) in NAKED Forgoing animal products can a blender. be a drastic change. At the very least,

Marchđ2015 | 83 HEART ATTACK PREVENTION avoid processed meat like hot dogs, of problems that raise heart disease sausages and bacon. Harvard risk. One way to motivate yourself to researchers found that every 50 grams get in small bouts of physical activity: of processed meat eaten more than do them for someone else. While once a week raises heart disease risk you’re out cutting your lawn, clear by 42%. In addition, eat meat that’s as your neighbour’s nature strip too. “naked” as possible – no antibiotics, Insteadofsittingdownonthebus, hormones, or hidden additives. Opt give your seat to a fellow passenger. for grass-fed animals, which have more heart-healthy omega-3 fatty Take vitamin “Y” every week acids than grain-fed animals. Yoga has a direct and powerful impact on your heart. A study of ● CHOOSE SMASH FISH This is an patients with atrial fibrillation, the acronym for sardines, mackerel, an- most common heart rhythm distur- chovies, salmon and herring bance, who did yoga for three months (SMASH). These fatty fish are your had fewer episodes. In another study, best sources of heart-healthy omega- when 30 people with high blood 3s (known to reduce inflammation, pressure practised yoga for just five to heart rhythm disturbances, triglycer- seven minutes twice a day for two ide levels, and blood pressure). They months, they had a lower resting heart are also less likely to be contaminated rate and blood pressure compared with toxins because toxins become with a control group who didn’t do concentrated in older and larger fish. the exercises. Fast 11 hours every night Love a pet The body needs this break to repair Pets seem to have an amazingly metabolic functions. Skipping this positive impact on stress, cholesterol fast–say,withamidnightsnack– levels and blood pressure. One reason cancauseariseininflammation, mightbethis:apet’scalmerenergy bloodsugar,bloodfatsandcell fieldmayaffectours.Whenexperts ageing.Putamental“closed”signon monitor a person and a pet close to your kitchen after dinner, ideally each other, they can show an interac- around 7pm. tion between the two fields, such as hearts beating in unison. Called Perform active acts of coherence,thisisapowerfultoolthat kindness canhelpimprovehearthealth.Don’t People who spend more time being own a dog? Consider volunteering at sedentary are 73% more likely to an animal shelter to reap healing develop metabolic syndrome, a cluster benefits.

84 | Marchđ2015 READER’S DIGEST

List something you’re candles, fumes from the nonstick coat- grateful for every day ing on your cookware. While any might When University of Connecticut be harmless in small amounts, the psychologist Glenn Affleck interviewed caustic brew they create when mixed 287 people recovering from a heart at- together can turn up inflammation, tack, he discovered that people who raise blood pressure and harden found a benefit from their illness were arteries. Open windows on milder less likely to suffer another within eight days, and use a fan to circulate the air years. Each day, write down one or to reduce indoor air pollution levels. more things you are grateful for, and read the journal once a week. Clean with kitchen staples Many cleaning products – even some Get busy “green” ones – contain chemicals that Men who have sex at least twice a have been linked to stroke and high week reduce their risk of heart attack blood pressure. When possible, clean by half compared with those who have your kitchen with items you’d cook sex only about once a month. Not even with, such as white vinegar, lemon aspirin has that effect. If you have and bicarbonate of soda. heart issues and are worried about a heart attack while in the act, let me re- Toss your plastic containers assure you: sexual activity is about as Chemicals in plastic, such as bisphe- taxing as light exercise. If you feel fine nol A (BPA) and phthalates, leach into climbing two flights of stairs, you the food in these containers. If enough should feel safe in the bedroom. residue accumulates in your body, it can throw off your hormonal system. Open your windows Studies have linked levels of BPA in and let in the air people’s urine to heart disease risks. The air inside your home might be More than 15 medical papers link even more polluted than the air in the phthalates to cardiovascular issues. world’s dirtiest cities. There are dozens Use glass, ceramic or stainless steel of possible sources – hairspray, storage containers instead.

OLD WORDS, NEW DEFINITIONS Triangle: Have a go at fishing Relief: What trees do in spring Tirade: Puncture repair kit

FROM: THE UXBRIDGE ENGLISH DICTIONARY

Marchđ2015 | 85 THE STRANGER WHO CHANGED MY LIFE

In 1955, David Hickman found an infant in a field. He spent the next 58 years trying to find her again Where Are You,Baby

Roseann?BY MELODY WARNICK At the end of a long day of squirrel hunting not far from his home in Richmond, Indiana, 14-year-old David Hickman sat at the side of a country road skinning his prizes with his grandfather. His head was filled with the sounds of the woods: the rustle of September leaves, the crashing of birds through the branches.

THEN HE HEARD an odd cooing that David followed the sound along 50 sent a chill down his spine. “Did you or 60m of fence that separated the hear that?” he asked his grandfather, country road from the forest. The Clay Smith. cooing seemed to be coming from the “I think it’s probably an animal,” woods. He swung his leg up and over Clay replied. a fence post, avoiding the barbed wire David had been listening to animals that jutted from the top, and looked all day. This was different. He stood down. There was a baby. up. “I want to see what it is.” Overgrown weeds and brush

86 | Marchđ2015

WHERE ARE YOU, BABY ROSEANN? formed a matted jungle a metre deep, and lying in a tangle of weeds was a tiny, dark-haired baby girl, loosely swaddled in a wet white towel. David jumped down. “There’s a baby here!” he yelled to his grandfather. At David’s shouts, Clay came running. “Don’t touch,” he cau- tioned the boy. “Let me see.”Claypeereddown at the newborn. The David Hickman at towel had come partly 22, left; a 1955 open, and he could see newspaper a piece of umbilical clipping about the rescue cord still attached to her belly. Blood from cuts on her left arm and torso – from the discussthewettowel–aclue,they barbed wire, perhaps, or tree branches thought, that the baby had weathered – had stained the towel red in spots. a morning rainstorm that had pushed David knew next to nothing about temperatures down to about 10°C. No babies, but to his eye, this one looked wonder she had been so frail and cold, impossibly tiny and frail. Her lips were David thought. blue, but she was alive. David and his grandfather knew the “We better not touch her,” David’s baby had been suffering when they grandfather repeated. “We might do found her, but in the following days, more harm than good. We’ve got to get neither the sheriff nor the hospital her help right now.” Reluctantly, they would tell them anything new. They did left the baby in the grass and sped to a learn, however, that social workers had nearby house to call the police. Soon, named the baby Roseann Wayne – Rose

a deputy sheriff whisked the baby to for Richmond’s nickname, the Rose BORDER) KANG KIM (PAPER Richmond’s Reid Memorial Hospital. City, and Wayne for the county name. That night, David described to the A few months later, David was police over and over the sound he had called to the principal’s office at the heard and the shocking sight of a baby junior high school, where he was

in the grass. He overheard the officers surprised to meet two nurses. One of PHOTOS: COURTESY DAVID HICKMAN;PALLADIUM-ITEM; COURTESY JOSH SMITH/

88 | Marchđ2015 READER’S DIGEST

them held out a baby wrapped in a see the ache in his eyes,” she says. blanket. “Dave,”one said, “we brought “He’s never stopped thinking about the her to you to say goodbye. She’s being baby he found.” adopted.”Eagerly, he held Roseann for On his yearly fishing trips back to the first time, admiring how healthy Richmond, David made the rounds she looked compared with the pale from the sheriff’s office to the hos- infant who’d clung to life in the forest. pital to the newspaper, but he never The year was 1955. heard anything new. Besides a few old newspaper clippings, “it was as if VER THE YEARS that she never existed,” David says. followed, David’s grand- father, Clay, tried to track S A CHILD, Ellen loved her Odown Roseann’s whereabouts, but adoptive parents, Merwin and he couldn’t find a way to get past Marga Test, but she hated the Indiana’s sealed adoption records. scarsA that roped down her left side, For his part, David tried to put from face to arm to torso. “Where Roseann out of his mind and move did these come from?” she’d ask her on. After graduating from high school, mother. “Sometimes when you adopt David served three years in the Army, children, they have scars,” was all her then joined his parents and grand- mother would say. parents in Florida, where they’d When Ellen asked where she had moved. He got a job in construction. come from and who her birth parents In 1966, he married his wife, Gaile, were, her parents seemed to dance and soon they were raising two sons. around the questions. Ellen knew they David and Gaile moved to Tennessee were hiding something. in 2006. Still, the Tests assured Ellen that As full as David’s life was, the being adopted meant she was chosen, memory of the blue-lipped baby in a special kid; the swimming lessons, the woods often surfaced in his mind. ballet classes, birthday parties, and “It hurt me to realise that somebody camping trips they lavished on her put her out there to die,” says David. proved the point. Her family moved Even though he didn’t expect he’d from Maryland to California when ever see Roseann again, he couldn’t Ellen was nine, and in time her parents help wondering if she was happy. even bought her a horse to ride. Gaile understood that he fretted In 1982, at 27 and with two small about Roseann as if she were his own kids of her own, Ellen decided to flesh and blood. Sometimes she would pursue the puzzle of her mysterious catch him on their back verandah, beginnings. According to her birth cer-

ILLUSTRATION (PREVIOUS SPREAD) BY LISA ADAMS LISA BY (PREVIOUS SPREAD) ILLUSTRATION staring off into the distance. “I would tificate, she’d been born in Richmond,

Marchđ2015 | 89 WHERE ARE YOU, BABY ROSEANN?

Indiana, where her adoptive grand- remember a baby girl found in the parents and cousins still lived. If any woods 27 years ago?” dark secrets were buried, she sus- “Yes!” he blurted. “You live in pected, Richmond was where she California, and you have two children!” would dig them up. So that summer, Ellen was astounded. “How do you she flew to Richmond from California. know that?” she stammered. At the Wayne County Courthouse, “I’ve been following you all your an assistant produced a thick file: life,” he declared. Cordell explained Ellen’s adoption records. that the police never Then, thinking twice, identified her biological the assistant said, “You parents. A caseworker can’t see it. Indiana has The truth about had placed her with a a closed-records law.” her identity left couple who had local Fighting the temptation Ellen shell- ties but lived in Mary- to snatch the file from land – the Tests, Ellen’s the assistant’s hands, shocked. Maybe adoptive parents. The Ellen marched across her parents were Tests’s annual Christmas the street to the library, right to keep the card to the adoption where she dug up reels facts from her caseworker kept Cordell of newspaper micro- apprised of Ellen’s life fiche from September over the years. 1955, her birth month. She hoped to Cordell also told her that her name find a hospital birth announcement. hadn’t always been Ellen. For three But within 15 minutes, she was staring months, she’d been Roseann Wayne. at a front-page headline: “Tiny Baby The truth about her identity left Girl Found in Woods at Boston.” Ellen shell-shocked. Back in Cali- On September 22, 1955, the story fornia, her father, at last resigned said, a 14-year-old boy named David to talking about Ellen’s history, Hickman had heard a strange noise explained that he and his wife had that turned out to be that of a new- thought the truth was “too horrific”. born infant. Below the headline was Maybe they were right, Ellen thought. a black-and-white photo of a nurse It sickened her to think that anybody cradling a dark-haired baby. Wow, could abandon a baby in the woods. that’s really sad, Ellen thought. Then: Before leaving Richmond, Ellen had Wait a minute. That could be me. found an address for the only David That night, Ellen tracked down a Hickman listed in the phone book. But phone number for Corky Cordell, the the address turned out to be the wrong town sheriff mentioned in the arti- David Hickman. The David Hickman cle. “Mr Cordell,” she said, “do you who’d found her had moved away.

90 | Marchđ2015 READER’S DIGEST

OK, Lord, she thought, if I’m ever responded. She rushed to put his mind supposed to meet him, you’re going to at ease. “Dave, I’ve had a great life!” have to arrange it. David was at a loss for words. He had dreamed of this moment for N 2013, AT 73, David was ready 58 years. Ellen eagerly told him that to give up and move on – “I guess she was happily married, with two I’m not meant to find her,”he’d tell grown children and four beautiful IGaile – when a mutual acquaintance grandchildren. Life was good. recommended he get in touch with Last May, after months of emails a retired deputy sheriff named John and weekly phone conversations, Catey. “Let’s try this just one more Ellen and David met face to face time,” Gaile said to David. at the 4th Floor Blues Club in They called. Catey pledged, “I’m Richmond, Indiana. Together they going to do everything that I can to drove the country road where David get you and your baby together by and his grandfather had sat skinning Christmas.”Ashetalkedtomore squirrels all those years ago. David than 80 Richmond old-timers, bits of showed Ellen the thicket of grass information started to come together. and branches, on the far side of a Someone knew that baby Roseann had 1.5m barbed wire fence, where he had been renamed Ellen – and that her last discovered an infant: the baby named name started with “T”.The adoptive Roseann, aka Ellen Test. Had he been parentshadmovedtoArizona,orwas 3m to either side of the fence post that it California? One day, luck led Catey he’d jumped, he might have missed to the home of Kevin Shendler. There seeing her. Someone had most likely Catey came across an old photo of lifted her over the fence and dropped Kevin’s aunt and uncle – Merwin and her into the brush. Marga Test. Yes, Kevin assured him, the Ellen looked at David. “If it hadn’t Tests had adopted a baby in 1955. been for you, I’d be dead.” “I was guided there by the grace of N DECEMBER 21, 2013, God,” David says now. “For 58 years, I Ellen’s phone rang. “This is worried about this little baby. It’s like Dave Hickman,” a voice said. a fairy tale with a very bad beginning O“I’ve been wanting to talk to you!” Ellen and a wonderful end.”

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Sign outside a plant: “This area is protected by a very nasty guard dog three days per week. You guess which days.” OODEE.COM

Marchđ2015 | 91 NATURE

Roderick Sloan, suited up; opposite, a green sea urchin cut open to expose the roe In the icy waters off Norway, one intrepid Scot dives deep to satisfy the latest fjord-to-table craze at Europe’s finest restaurants

BY FRANZ LIDZ FROM SMITHSONIAN MAGAZINE

Rise of the Sea Urchin RISE OF THE SEA URCHIN

hen it comes to their “Summer is special in Nordskot,” neighbours in Norway, cracks Christopher Sjuve, an Oslo- the good people of based wine blogger. “It’s everyone’s Denmark and Sweden favourite day of the year.” haveW a limitless fount of jokes, many Sloan embraces the isolation. “I of which are reductive and in ques- love the tranquillity here,” he says in tionable taste; none of which should, a soft Scottish burr, rolling his r’s and under any circumstance, be repeated. stretching out his vowels. “I love the Here’s one of the funniest: clean air and the changes of the sea- A Dane, a Swede and a Norwegian sons. It’s not perfection, but then if life are shipwrecked on a desert island. is too perfect, it can be perfectly dull.” The Dane finds a magic shell, which, What makes Sloan perfectly risible when rubbed, entitles each of the in the eyes of many is the precarious castaways to a wish. The Dane says: career he has carved. In weather that “I wish to go home to my cosy flat in would be considered mild only on Copenhagen and relax on my soft sofa Neptune, he dives into the icy fjord to beside my sexy girlfriend with a six- gather sea urchins, those wee beasties pack of beer.”He promptly disappears. that look like squash balls encased in The Swede says, “I wish to return to pine thistles. Sloan’s aquatic treasure my large and comfortable Stockholm hunts for kråkebolle (“crow’s balls” in bungalow, with its sleek IKEA furni- Norwegian) are as dangerous as they ture.” He vanishes, too. After mulling are daring. Waves are often treacher- his options, the Norwegian says, ous; squalls, gusty; and storms can “I’m terribly lonely now. I wish my appear in an instant. “Roddie swims two friends were here with me.” alone, down to 15 metres deep,” Sjuve For much of the last decade, observes. “You’ve either got to be Roderick Sloan has been viewed as drunk or crazy to do what he does.” something of a Norwegian joke. By Crazy, say the locals. “When I Norwegians, no less. The middle-aged started to harvest urchins in 2002, émigré Scot makes his home 140km everyone thought I was bananas,” north of the Arctic Circle – little more Sloan says. “They’re not a traditional than a cod’s toss from Nordskot (pop. catch in north Norway.” Though plen- 55), one of Norway’s darkest, bleakest, tiful, urchins are not exactly standard remotest coastal villages. fare in Norway, a nation of largely The farm he shares with his wife unadventurous eaters who annually (Lindis) and young sons spans consume 48 million frozen pizzas – 200 scraggly hectares. The land is about ten per capita. Sloan is practi- speckled with birch and encircled cally a cottage industry unto himself. by lofty, sharp-edged mountains. “We’ve got seals and killer whales,” he

94 | Marchđ2015 Sloan in his boat leaving the harbour, headed for his wild urchin beds

says, “but I’m the country’s only full- urchins in the world. They’re found time urchin diver.” in almost every major marine habi- tat from the poles to the Equator, IN THE BRAVE NEW WORLD of fine and from shallow inlets to depths of dining, the roe of the humble urchin more than 5000m. All have roe that’s – a shellfish once cursed as a pest to edible, though not necessarily palat- lobstermen and routinely smashed able. Sloan supplies Strongylocentro- with hammers or tossed overboard as tus droebachiensis, or “Norwegian unsalable “bycatch” – is a prized and greens” to dozens of the most revered slurpily lascivious delicacy. Unlike restaurants in Europe, from St John, caviar, which is the eggs of fish, the London’s meaty, masculine mecca of roe of the urchin is its wobbly gonads. English food to the 12-seat Fäviken in Every year more than 100,000 tonnes the wilds of northern Sweden, where of them slide down discerning throats, chef Magnus Nilsson stalks lingonber- mainly in France and Japan, where ries in bearskin with his gun dog, Krut. the chunks of salty, grainy custard are Master chefs buzz among them- known as uni and believed to be an selves about Sloan’s urchins like dis- uplifting tonic, if not an aphrodisiac. coverers of a latter-day Beatles – or,

PHOTOS, THIS PAGE ANDSPREAD: PREVIOUS KAROLINE O.A. PETTERSEN There are around 800 species of in the case of René Redzepi, beetles.

Marchđ2015 | 95 Urchins have changed very little since their first fossil appearance, dating back some 450 million years

The founder of “New Nordic” cuisine, “It’s like Roddie invented a new Redzepi runs Noma, a Copenhagen product, a new culinary sensation,” eatery that Restaurant magazine has echoes fellow chef Esben Holmboe judged to be the world’s best in four Bang, whose Maaemo is the most of the last five years. shimmering of Oslo’s Michelin-starred Redzepi’s 20-course celebration of eateries. “His Norwegian greens are local and seasonal ingredients foraged sweet and tender and you can taste from the woodlands and seashore is the wilderness in every bite.” designed to demonstrate nature on a plate. He fashions culinary bou- t dawn on this brutal spring quets from wild herbs and edible soil, morning, Sloan and his one- toasted hay and reindeer moss, live A man crew – a Frenchman who ants and fermented vegetables and answers to J.C. – clamber onto a red other ingredients such as grasshoppers polar work boat he’s christened Big and squid. In one signature dish, Nor- Betty. Out to sea, a white-tailed eagle wegian green sea urchins are served is wheeling and, beyond that, to the with freshly shaved hazelnuts, hazelnut northwest, you can see the lumpy oil and a sugar kelp vinaigrette. Sloan peninsula jutting towards the Lofoten provides the urchins, which the Danish Islands. Sloan mostly targets exposed have dubbed søpindsvin (sea hedge- reefs with rich forests of kelp, which hogs). Redzepi says they’re as luscious urchins eat ravenously. Under an

as anything he’s ever eaten. immense sky (sea clear, light swell) SOOLEY HOWARD PHOTO:

96 | Marchđ2015 READER’S DIGEST

Big Betty putters along until reaching final kilometre home. (“If you steer a craggy cove, where Sloan spies the the wrong way, you die. It’s as simple familiar dark shadows. as that.”) He compares disentangling He zips up his dry suit, yanks on himself from a clump of underwater rubber gloves and straps on 30kg of kelp to squeezing through a hawthorn scuba gear. Plopping backwards into hedge. He describes being flung into a the water, Sloan shimmies through churning washing machine of surf and dense clusters of seaweed, propelled currents. “I’m upside-down, swirling bythesurgeofeachwave. abovejaggedrocks,unabletoseemy Urchins have hundreds of adhesive oxygen bubbles. During a whiteout, I tube feet and move over the seafloor can float for five minutes with no idea at a leisurely pace. Sloan collects where I am.” them with diligence and a certain He smiles gently. Sloan is an tenderness, placing the prickly kråke- engagingly modest, gruff and diffident bolle one by one into mesh sacks. fellow with an untamed beard and a After 30 minutes he surfaces through sharp sense of humour – in three

SLOAN’S FROZEN LIPS ARE THE SAME PALE BLUE AS THE WATER; HIS BREATHING IS SO LABOURED HE CAN BARELY SPEAK the surf, and is quickly hauled onto languages. “I’m quite a sane guy,” he the deck by J.C., who then sorts the says, “but I’m a bit mad, too.” He’s urchins according to colour, size never bothered to pry out the urchin and condition. A typical daily haul is spike his right thumb has harboured between 90 and 135kg. since 2004. “The first year it’s interest- Sloan’s frozen lips are the same ing. After that, it becomes part of you.” pale blue as the water; his breathing Sloan is awed by the milky noth- is so laboured he can barely speak. ingness he confronts during urchin “Welcome to my office,”he says at last. spawning season, when the sea teems “This is a magic place to be. Every day with delicate, transparent creatures of I have no idea what’s going to happen. great beauty. The currents and low vis- It’s quite exciting, but it can be terrify- ibility make diving too risky. “Imagine ing as well.” if you could see all the pollen spores in He recalls a five-hour battle through the air. It’s like snorkelling in a tub of 6m waves to get his first tiny boat the bathwater after you dropped a bar of

Marchđ2015 | 97 RISE OF THE SEA URCHIN soap in it. This is the soup of life, you Redzepi changed all that. The Noma understand.” chef asked Sloan to ship his greens to Denmark. Sloan was reluctant, but at loan first dipped a toe into that Lindis’s urging – and after tripling the soup at age five, during a fishing price as a disincentive – he gave in. “I Sholiday to the Scottish Highlands. was ready to throw in the beach towel,” When the lure of his older brother, he says. “René saved my career.”When Robbie, got snagged on some seaweed, sea urchins are in season, Noma now Sloan volunteered to fetch it. “I must has a standing order for 45kg a week. have walked only a few metres, but it seemed like a few kilometres,” he says. THE GREENS ARE at their prime from “I remember thinking that the sea is November to the end of February. The this wonderful place.” test – its spiny outer shell – protects Growing up in the land-locked what is basically an eating and breed- hamlet of Dunscore he never much ing machine. The skeleton is divided got to experience the sea. “At 19, I into sections running from top to bot- kind of struggled off into life,” he says. tom, like the segments of an orange. “I was bitterly disappointed with it.” Inside the body are five corals of roe, He drifted through Europe, finding sometimes called tongues. On the work in restaurants as a porter, a cook underside of the test are a muscular and a manager. At 27, he landed in system and five self-honing calcium Oslo and got a job in a sports lounge. carbonate teeth that allow the urchin While tending bar he met his future to chomp through stone. This chewing wife, Lindis, a college student who apparatus is known as Aristotle’s lan- had come to watch a British soccer tern, from a description in the Greek match on the wide-screen TV. philosopher and naturalist’s Historia It was Lindis’s brother who sug- Animalium. (Scholars recently pro- gested that Roddie move to Arctic posed that he was actually referring to Norway and hunt the feral urchin. the test, which resembles the bronze “The big problem was not fishing lamps of ancient Greece.) them,” Roddie says. “The big problem In his kitchen, Sloan demonstrates was selling them.” Business was never how to cut around the Norwegian easy, though Sloan began to supply green’s mouth and scoop out the some of the continent’s top restau- tongues. In theory, urchins should be rants, like Alain Ducasse’s Le Louis XV opened with a coupe-oursin –atool in Monaco. But when his Paris whole- specially designed for the job. Sloan saler went bust in 2008, he decided to doesn’t own one, so he uses his wife’s return to school and pursue a degree nail scissors. Inserting the tip into the in engineering. A phone call from René mouthparts, he snips off an itty-bitty

98 | Marchđ2015 READER’S DIGEST piece and trims the top third of the change – have turned vast stretches shell to reveal the roe. He spoons out of seafloor into “urchin barrens” a fillet and places it on my tongue: the that remind you of moonscapes. The sensation is soft and pillowy. “I love the urchins multiply, chew down the kelp taste of urchin when it’s really good,” and devastate marine ecosystems. Sloan says. “You start with sea salt, Sloan culls his wild urchin beds then you get a big iodine hit, and, at on a five-year rotation, and wants the end, a distinctive sweetness that Norway to adopt a hands-on approach sits in your mouth for hours.” – instituting quotas and establishing Sloan’s finest urchins are rich like fishing zones. “Management of the sea a juicy cut of Wagyu steak. “By June, is the only way,” he says. when the midnight sun arrives, there’s lots of algae for them to eat,” he says. FROM A JETTY in Nordskot Har- “Everything grows slowly up here, so bour, Sloan gazes over the sea, but the urchins taste better.” a grey mist obscures the cliffs and slopes. “I’d like to plant maple trees oth fragile and destructive, on my land,” he says, a bit wistfully. A the urchin is a tempest in an neighbour told him the trees wouldn’t B environmental seapot. In every produce sap for at least 25 years: corner of the planet, there seem to “You’ll be very, very old.” Sloan told be either too few or too many. The the neighbour, “That’s not the point. French and Irish exhausted their I’m looking to the future.” resident stocks years ago. In Maine, Sloan would be happy if the future Nova Scotia and Japan, urchin popu- looked a lot like the present. “I’ve got a lations have been drastically reduced smart woman as a wife,”he says, laugh- by overfishing and disease. ing at the Norwegian jokiness of it all. “I Meanwhile, off the coasts of Cali- don’t need a Ferrari. I can’t watch more fornia and Tasmania, overfishing the than one TV. I can’t sleep in more than animal’s natural predators and large- one bed. If you have enough in life, scale change in ocean circulation that’s all that matters. I’m just clearing – believed to be an effect of climate sand off the bottom of the ocean.”

FROM SMITHSONIAN (JULY 2014) © 2014 BY FRANZ LIDZ. WWW.SMITHSONIANMAG.COM

FROM HERE TO PATERNITY

“When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, ‘Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?’ He answered, ‘If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.’” JERRY LEWIS

Marchđ2015 | 99 FAMILY

I couldn’t let my emotions keep me from being the parent that I wanted to be TeAs a r s

GoBY LISA FIELDS By

hen my daughter was boy shared a hug, just before the boy young, I borrowed the grew up too quickly. By the time the classic children’s book tree selflessly offered the grown boy The Giving Tree from her apples, branches and trunk to the library to share with her, since I’d make him happy, an enormous lump loved the story as a child. Unfortu- in my throat made it difficult to speak. nately, reading it as a mother turned I managed to finish reading, but I me into a blithering mess. Author was shuddering with sobs. Shel Silverstein describes the tender After composing myself, I decided relationship between a very loving that from then on, Daddy would read apple tree and the young boy she The Giving Tree. He’d simply be talking cares for while depicting sacrifices about a tree, not a mother’s complex that mothers make for children. My love for her child. That night he read

bottom lip quivered when tree and the story, nary a sniffle. ILLUSTRATION: CHRISTOPHER SILAS NEALE

100 | Marchđ2015

AS TEARS GO BY

That’s better, I thought. But I won- daily until it didn’t make me cry. The dered: it’s easier, but is it really better? first time, I tried distancing myself My thoughts drifted to another from the plot but still got misty. But situation that I’d found too emotionally repetition and persistence worked: wrenching. In grade school, I’d loved after two weeks, I was reading it dry- singing “Over the Rainbow” from The eyed and in an even-keeled way. Wizard of Oz, so my dad would accom- This was the second time that I pany me on the piano. (I liked the trained myself to toughen up. Years lyrics’s message that dreams can come earlier, when my sister asked me to true, and I yearned to have a great be her maid of honour, I realised that adventure, like Dorothy did in Oz.) I didn’t want to stand with runny Whenever my dad played it, I was mascara in front of 100 people. So I overwhelmed by the sweetness of the decided to learn how to attend a father-daughter moment. I distinctly wedding without crying. recall thinking – even as an eight-year- Fortunately, I attended eight old – that one day when my dad was “practice” weddings before my sister’s gone, I’d cherish our special moments big day. During the first ceremony, I at the piano. The thought made my pretended that my friends, the bride throat tighten, making it hard to carry and groom, were strangers. That a tune. I always ended our sing-alongs helped, but I still shed a few tears. prematurely, which I regretted. Gradually, I figured out how to create One year, my daughter dressed as emotional distance between the Dorothy for Halloween and wanted newlyweds and myself and how to me to sing “Over the Rainbow” non- appreciate their loving looks toward stop. So I obliged. Initially, I wondered each other and the officiant’s if one day she’d recall such moments comments without getting dramatic. as fondly as I remember singing with Repetition helped, so between my dad, and my eyes brimmed with ceremonies, I perused my parents’s tears. But after countless requests and wedding album and watched videos of umpteen renditions, I could sing it strangers’s nuptials online. Success! At without trouble. my sister’s wedding, I stood before the I realised that if I wanted The Giving crowd, beaming, as my sister and Tree – or any meaningful experience brother-in-law celebrated their love. from my youth that I want to share Recently, I wondered how often with my children – to loosen its hold people train themselves to stop on me, I had to practise, practise, prac- crying in response to uplifting yet tise, like I did with Dorothy’s song. embarrassing emotional triggers, so I I bought a copy of The Giving Tree reached out to Ad Vingerhoets, one of and vowed to read it to my daughter the few scientists to have studied

102 | Marchđ2015 READER’S DIGEST crying. He confirmed that adults with such a touching message that I’ll often cry for positive, sentimental sob while reading to my children. And reasons, not just about pain or loss. I can’t help but tear up at gay “Instead of separation, you cry for weddings; it’s overwhelming to watch reunion. Instead of defeat, you cry for the first kiss when I’ve never witnessed victory,” says Vingerhoets, professor of my friends sharing tender moments. clinical psychology at Tilburg But now I know that with the proper University in the Netherlands. “But all mindset and training, I can face these tears are, in some way, the same. Help- situations head-on. lessness is very central, even with Case in point: after my dad began positive emotions… Maybe it’s a kind giving my daughter piano lessons, the of being overwhelmed, a kind of three of us had an impromptu sing- positive helplessness.” along. Naturally, he played “Over the I told Vingerhoets about my training, Rainbow”.It had been years since I’d which thwarted tears during weddings sung with him, but instead of getting and storytime, and was surprised when weepy, I embraced my daughter, stood he said my approach was very by my dad and sang as joyously as I uncommon. (Therapists use the could. A little part of me thought, wow, technique to desensitise phobic people here are three generations harmonising from things like spiders.) People who around the piano, and I’ll look back on don’t want to cry commonly look this moment one day… but I pushed upward when they feel tears about to the thought aside and decided to overflow, Vingerhoets said, although it experience piano-time with my dad isn’t universally effective. For me, the way I should have years ago. gazing heavenward might delay tears After Dorothy’s song, instead of momentarily, but not forever. escaping to nurse my tears, I asked, My emotions still sideswipe me “Whatelsecanyouplayforaseven- sometimes: I’ll realise that I’m reliving year-old?”Welingeredforahalf- a poignant moment from childhood, hour, creating a beautiful moment at this time as a mother, and I’ll get the piano: my father, my daughter maudlin. Or I’ll borrow a library book and me.

ANTISOCIAL NETWORKING The prize for the most helpful criminal goes to: A burglar from West Virginia who checked his Facebook account mid-robbery on his victim’s computer. He then fled the scene

without logging out, thus leaving his contact details. FROM FUSION.NET

Marchđ2015 | 103 All inaDay’sWork HUMOUR ON THE JOB

ADVICE YOU CAN DO WITHOUT The following are real-life warnings from The Book of All-Time Stupidest Top10Lists.Take heed. –OnasignintheFederalReserve Bank building in Boston: “In case of fire, evacuate the building. Do not use stairways. Do not use elevators.” – From a US Department of Energy spokesperson: “All you have to do [to protect yourself from nuclear radiation] is go down to the bottom of your swimming pool and hold your breath.” – Banner headline in Texas’s El Paso Times: “Don’t Make Luggage Look Like a Bomb”.

NO HARM DONE Weight Watchers Gold Member.” When I needed my university exam I eventually forgave my brother – certificates for a job interview, my after I got the job. brother volunteered to go up to the SUBMITTED BY JILL COHEN attic to find them and put them in a folder for me. A BAD SPELL The next week, I nervously walked The note from the parent clearly into the interview room where, explained the student’s situation: much to my surprise, the interview “Please let Jean leave the room if she panel were all asks. She has been sick with dire chuckling. “Your rear.” SUBMITTED BY PENELOPE BRADLEY qualifications are all in order,” their SILVER LINING spokeswoman After one glance at my updated said. “Also, driver’s licence photo, I said the first congratulations thing that came to mind: “Ugghhh!” on becoming a “What’s wrong?” asked the

104 | Marchđ2015 I work at a garden centre and was tickled to overhear one customer saying to another: “I never knew what compost was until I met my husband.”

SUBMITTED BY MARY HALLER assistant behind the counter. with someone who’s been trained to “I look ancient in this picture!” argue for a living?” I said. SUBMITTED BY AUGUST MURPHY “Well, look at the bright side,” she replied. “In five years, you’ll love it.” TOT TYPOGRAPHY SUBMITTED BY ANDREA RAITER When a teacher asked my six-year-old nephew why his handwriting wasn’t NO SHORTCUTS as neat as usual, he responded, Being colour-blind excluded me from “I’m trying a new font.” certain jobs in the US Marines – but I SUBMITTED BY JUDITH FISHER was so determined that my recruiter took pity on me, giving me a colour FUDGING THE FORECAST vision test book to memorise before IusedtoworkinanAir taking the eye test. Force Satellite Control Later that week, I took the test and Facility, where we successfully recited each colour in the would hold regular book. The doctor was impressed. status briefings for “Excellent,” he said. “Just one thing: I department heads. On one opened the book on page two.” occasion, a young officer SUBMITTED BY DAN KEHL concluded his weather briefing with, “Twenty years ago, using manual COURTING methods, we could predict the DISASTER weather only three days in advance. I mentioned to an Today, with computers, we can predict unmarried friend of mine – an the weather 72 hours in advance.” attorney – that he should SUBMITTED BY GEORGE KREIDER attend a working singles mixer  Gotagoodjoke,anecdoteorreal-life for lawyers. He hated the idea. gemtoshare?Senditinandyoucouldwin “Why,” he asked,” would I cash! See page 8 for details on how to want to start a relationship contribute.

Marchđ2015 | 105 REAL LIVES

Meet two women who, for different reasons, each took bold steps along life’s adventure BestD ExoticSeachange

AS TOLD TO HELEN SIGNY D

When Lois met Chanesar, she swapped the idea ofasmallhousein the suburbs for a guesthouse in the Indian desert

BEST EXOTIC SEACHANGE

Lois Mason well enough. He pressed me and asked was born in New Zealand and lived in if I’d like to meet him for breakfast. He Australia for 36 years. A junior school was so pleasant I thought, Why not? librarian, she ditched a conventional We ended up talking for three hours retirement for an entirely exotic life and he gave me a sightseeing tour on in northwestern India. the back of his motorbike. One thing I was 57, married, but we had grown led to another. That was 15 years ago. in separate directions. I thought it was I certainly wasn’t looking for time to make some changes in my life. romance. He was 12 years younger My daughter was 24, and independ- than me. But it was something about ent. The plan was to set the divorce his sense of humour, his strength of in motion, sell the house and buy character and his helpfulness. Who my own place on the calm, forested can explain what love is? I knew after fringes of Sydney. six weeks that I loved him and he loved Butfirst,Iwantedtoseehowit me. There was no question that we would be on my own. I had spent could remain apart. six weeks in India a few years earlier When I first met Chanesar he was and loved it. Over the years I’d taken running safaris out of his cousin’s up many different hobbies – creative hotel. This is where we lived for two- writing, belly dancing and drumming – and-a-half years, in the worst room in and at the time I was learning the tabla the place, because we weren’t paying [an Indian drum]. My guests. To save to build teacher suggested I our own guesthouse should have lessons and a decent home, we with his guru in India I find it brilliant worked hard for seven soItooksomeleave here. Rajasthan years. In 2001 we and off I went. is full of music bought a plot of land I was in a train for our guesthouse and carriage at Jodhpur and dancing. started slowly build- Station on the way to People here ing on it. In 2006 we Jaisalmer when I met opened Desert Moon. Chanesar. He was trav- love life I often think our elling on business for lives are a bit like his cousin and struck Fawlty Towers.I’m up a conversation with me. I met him well and truly Sybil – I like things to in the market the next day, when I was be correctly done. This is impossible extremely tired and had a headache. here and over the years I’ve become He asked if I would like to go for chai. more laid back. What drives me nuts I said I couldn’t because I didn’t feel is when the staff take themselves off

108 | Marchđ2015 READER’S DIGEST

for some important work of their own Lois Mason: “I often think our lives are a and no-one is around to welcome new bit like Fawlty Towers” guests, sometimes not even Chanesar. When it all gets too much I use my little it increasingly unbearable. Life be- Tata Nano [car] for getaways to nice comes like jail – always inside with the places for coffee, just like Sybil! I take air conditioner. Sometimes my power my embroidery or knitting and pass a supply goes on the blink, and I can’t couple of hours getting back to normal even have a fan until “the man” arrives and “refreshed” for the next fray. It’s my and fixes it. One time it took ten days. “me” time. What a nightmare. Chanesar is definitely a Basil. We’re But I find it brilliant here. Rajasthan all so used to him we know his hissy is full of music and dancing. People fits will pass; and his sense of humour here love life, and their exuberance is his saving grace. flows into all fields of life. The air is There are quarters for me and full of wonderful fragrances from Chanesar at ground level, in the cool- incense sticks and oils, and the spices est part of the building. I can’t stand have true depth of flavour. the really hot heat and the dust is I wear the kurta and salwar –Ieven incessant. When I was younger I wear them when I’m back in Australia stayed here longer during the hot because they’re so comfortable. But

PHOTOGRAPHED BY DEEPAK SHARMA (SPREAD AND THIS PAGE) DEEPAK BY PHOTOGRAPHED months, however as I’ve aged I find because I’m outside the village rules

Marchđ2015 | 109 BEST EXOTIC SEACHANGE

I don’t have to dress like the locals. I bought a very strong fence that keeps When I first arrived I thought how them out. Now I have a small raised wonderfully colourful the clothes bed with rocket and other salad stuff. were, but the longer I stayed I began I have satellite TV and use it mainly to realise people are wearing uniforms. for BBC World News. Newspapers Every village has its own look and the arrive here a day late and English use of colour, patterns and designs ones have to be bought from a place are unique to these people. One can in the market. But there’s never a dull recognise a lot about a person by look- moment; dramas seem to crop up ing at what they are wearing. almost on a daily basis. I wake up at 6.30 and “bed tea” What makes India so special for is brought to me by the cook or his me is its people. There is much more assistant. I read my book, then get personal contact here than in Aus- up and do household tralia or New Zealand. chores at the same If Chanesar has to go time as making my somewhere, he makes own breakfast. Then There are sure one of the boys is I generally go to the people here here for me. In all the market. I walk if the time I have been in weather is cool and who have the Jaisalmer there hasn’t my shopping is not time and are been one night when I heavy. Otherwise I willing to sit wasonmyown.While drive. The road is con- I am very independ- tinually being dug up and talk ent, I find this rather and there are open, touching. smelly drains eve- I now spend half a rywhere. You have to walk with your year back in Australia each year and I eyes on the ground ahead, watching find it so boring. Here I see people on out for rocks, dug up holes, cow dung a daily basis, but there I can go several and even fallen electric wires, plus days without speaking to anybody. of course the never-ending rubbish. I’m now 72, and I know I won’t Depending on our guests, I am up at be able to live here if serious health the reception counter around 8am. issues arise, or when I no longer want Cook does my lunch and dinner. He to travel long distances between coun- knows my diet and produces wonder- tries. But for now I think I’m extremely ful dhal and vegetables with roti for lucky. There was no choice when it me. In earlier years I tried to establish came down to it. It’s the people who a garden, but the pigs kept breaking make the place, and if there are loved down the fences. A couple of years ago ones there, that’s what matters.

110 | Marchđ2015 READER’S DIGEST

Kimberley Brandt of the respect and help afforded to is a full-time care provider and works the elderly in Asia. It was very dif- in marketing communications. The ficult. I would have swapped all of 49-year-old moved with her ailing father the so-called services for a genuine to Bali in search of a better quality of life. community, which is what I had had My father, Len, has been my best in Cambodia. I thought there must friend all through my adult life. My be somewhere that offers the infra- mother was sick while my brother structure and the creature comforts and I were growing up and he worked of home but still has respect for the so hard to look after us. So when his elderly and care within its every fibre. Alzheimer’s got to the stage that he I thought we would try Bali. couldn’t manage alone, it was never We came to Bali to check out the an option to put him in a home. housing and medical facilities. Dude I have been caring for Dude – had a stroke on the first night. We the nickname that stuck because I were in one of the busiest restaurants couldn’t say “Dad” when I was a baby in Bali, in Seminyak, when he started – for the last 5 years in Bali. It would to convulse and collapsed. An expat be hard looking after someone at his hailed a taxi and told us to get straight stage of Alzheimer’s anywhere. It’s the to the nearest hospital, rather than hardest job I’ve ever had in my life, wait for an ambulance. When we got but here it’s a hundred times easier. there the care was fantastic – they’d Dude was a writer and worked called in neurology and provided ra- in advertising, like me, and was a diology immediately. It was a first-rate traveller all of his life. I was living in experience, so I could put a big tick Cambodia when he started to de- next to “medical”. velop the early signs of Alzheimer’s. Most places you rent here come with I was coming back to Australia to see staff, and I have always been offered him and realised he was going down- extra help to care for Dude. When he hill quickly and could no longer live has an accident, there is always some- on his own. We did one last trip to one to help clean up the mess. When Europe and stopped in Cambodia, he wakes me in the middle of the night and it seemed natural to stay there, as and crazy stuff is happening, I can just he was in good physical health. That yell out and someone will come. He’s lasted on and off for three years, but never alone. The last time we were by the time he turned 80 I started to in Australia I left him asleep while I feel that if there was a medical emer- popped out for a couple of minutes to gencyhe’dbeattoogreatarisk. buy milk, and by the time I got home We returned to Australia but I he’d wandered off and was lost. That really missed the everyday benefits just wouldn’t happen here. We have an

Marchđ2015 | 111 Kimberley Brandt decided to relocate to Bali with her father because of its value of respect for the elderly READER’S DIGEST

amazing driver, Syafar, who has made a lot for the elderly; I can easily get a it all possible. He genuinely likes Dude walker or a disabled aid. We also have and they are wonderful together. He access to many good restaurants who will do anything for him. do free delivery. They almost all know Here it’s natural that people what his diabetic diet is. understand and offer to help. I can pull Sometimes Dude knows he’s in up outside a restaurant – he can’t walk Bali, but he doesn’t really under- far any more – and someone will put stand. Alzheimer’s has robbed him of their hand out to him and he will grab the ability to recognise basic objects, it. I can leave him in their care while I but the core things remain – he’s still pop to the ATM. In Australia I’m acutely a social being, he still has a sense of aware of causing a problem if he keeps humour, is open minded and likes talking to everyone and calling out to change. There are people here who the staff, but here it really is OK. have the time and are willing to sit and Retirees need to renew their visa talk to him. That’s probably the most every five years in Indonesia. We have important thing in the world for Dude. all the comforts of home and can afford We’re preparing for high-level palli- things that we could never afford else- ative care with a nurse, oxygen masks where. The local hardware store has and a full-time carer. The doctors here respect my opinion as a long-term Puzzles See page 122 carer, and understand how difficult it Devilish Digits is to manage him. He goes psychotic 6 1 7 8 3 2 4 3 1 3 1 9 2 3 8 7 7 6 4 in hospital, so when there are emer- 2 1 0 3 8 9 3 8 1 7 5 0 2 gencies the doctors come very quickly 5 3 7 6 0 1 3 7 to our house, bringing nurses and 8 9 8 1 4 8 1 6 3 8 7 6 6 drips and other paraphernalia, and 7 0 1 6 8 8 2 7 they stabilise him at home. 8 1 8 3 9 8 7 7 2 1 6 9 6 1 7 0 One day they came and when 7 8 2 0 4 9 6 3 1 3 1 9 0 6 Dude was feeling better he wanted 1 5 7 8 6 2 5 2 the doctor to stay for a cup of tea. I 8 9 1 4 1 2 4 2 9 1 9 2 4 was embarrassed and told him the 9 4 3 4 0 1 0 6 doctor was busy. But the doctor said 3 2 9 8 9 0 2 5 7 8 2 5 4 9 9 0 6 3 4 7 4 ‘Of course I will’ and sat down and 5 4 5 8 6 7 1 2 7 3 9 had a cup of tea. He was laughing and making jokes with Dude, which Word Search Globe Trot Out of Area Side Easter Island 25 per cent healed him more than anything. I really think we’re in the perfect Hidden Meaning A. The end of time; B. All out of balloons; place for where we are at this stage of C. Okay by me

PHOTOGRAPHED BY GLEN KROHN BY PHOTOGRAPHED our lives.

Marchđ2015 | 113 Smart Animals

Our furred and feathered friends never cease to surprise, inspire – and amaze – us

Nothing to Crow About crows and the bright white cockatoo MEIR ABRAMOVITZ made me stop and stare for a One morning, as I was out walking, moment, before regaining my stride. Ilookedupandsawtwolargecrows Suddenly, “Arrggggg”, called the and one yellow-crested cockatoo first crow, as they often tend to do. perched high on a telephone pole. “Arrggggg”, cried the second crow. These three feathered friends were “I’m a good boy,” squawked the sitting like soldiers, shoulder to cockatoo. shoulder in a perfectly spaced row. What? I thought, stopping in my

The stark contrast of the pitch-black tracks. BEN SANDERS ILLUSTRATION:

114 | Marchđ2015 Again, the crows called “Arrgggggg, dining table, I noticed a kitten on the Arrgggggg”, while their yellow- top of the green sofa. When the plumed companion shrieked in paperwork was completed, Tara unison, “I’m a good boy.” suddenly jumped down and ran The clever cockatoo was no doubt over to me. an escaped pet bird, hiding out with “She’s never done that before,” said his own kind. He may have been the man, lifting her into his arms. a good boy, but he knew nothing That evening, I couldn’t get Tara about camouflage! out of my mind and felt we should be together. The next morning, I called TakingaCatnap the man and offered to buy her. He SHARON WILSON agreed, and Tara and I have been “She must be in the spare room,” best friends ever since. I said to my daughter. We had been Two years after Tara arrived, I had searching for our tortoiseshell cat, a heart attack, and a medical alarm Marmalade, for two hours. was subsequently installed beside “She can’t be, Mum,” my daughter my phone. When I had my second replied. “The door is always shut.” heart attack, Jane, the cleaning lady, “Marmalade…” I called again. was there, and gave me CPR. Jane I opened the spare-room door and told me that Tara was watching turned on the light. My daughter attentively as she gave me CPR and looked behind some boxes of wool followed her as she ran over to press and then with a yell, “Marmalade! the emergency button. You’re in trouble now!” In 2004, Tara saved my life. No-one There, curled up in a box of orange, else was home, and I can only assume brown and yellow wool, was that Tara remembered Jane’s actions Marmalade, fast asleep and oblivious and pressed the red alarm button to the world. I couldn’t help but laugh when she saw I was in trouble, as I wondered how she had managed summoning help. Over the next five to sneak her way into the usually years, I went into cardiac arrest two closed-off room. more times. Again, Tara was my saviour. I hate to think what might’ve On the Alert happened if Tara wasn’t there for me SANDRA HAY and I’m so glad that she jumped into I first met Tara, my Tonkinese cat, my arms that day 13 years ago. 13 years ago when I was selling security systems door-to-door. You could earn cash by telling us about the antics of unique pets or wildlife. Turn An elderly gentleman invited me into to page 8 for details on how to contribute his home and as we sat down at his to the magazine.

Marchđ2015 | 115 EST

Lily James as Ella; Blanchett is delightfully wicked

CINDERELLA Fantasy

Sixty-five years after Disney first released Cinderella, fans can now enjoy a fresh version, complete with a top cast and directed by Kenneth Branagh. While the actors are flesh-and-blood, there are animated mice and other effects that add to the magic. We know you know the storyline – that’s unchanged. But Cate Blanchett shines as the wicked stepmother, and Helena Bonham Carter is frighteningly convincing as Ella’s fairy godmother.

TRASH Action/Drama

Spending their lives in the Rio slums picking through trash to sell, three teenage boys discover a discarded leather handbag – with some controversial contents. Directed by Stephen Daldry (Billy Elliot) and written by Richard Curtis (Four Weddings and a Funeral), the film sets the trio on a crash course with a brutal local police force and a city on the brink of revolution, as they find themselves unlikely whistle-blowers of corruption.

116 | Marchđ2015 IN THE HEART OF THE SEA Adventure

This Ron Howard flick delves into the origins of Moby-Dick (1851) and the event that inspired the classic novel. It’s 1820 and Captain George Pollard, Jr (Benjamin Walker) and first mate Owen Chase (Chris Hemsworth) are leading the whale ship Essex. But when an enraged sperm whale attacks the boat, the crew find themselves stranded at sea, thousands of kilometres from land. A combination of history and myth, the film reveals the true story behind literature’s most famous whale.

INFINITELY POLAR BEAR Comedy

After suffering a severe breakdown, manic-depressive Cameron (Mark Ruffalo) leaves his family and moves into a halfway house. When his wife Maggie (Zoe Saldana) decides to go to business school in New York, Cameron tries to win back her trust by moving home and taking care of their kids. It proves to be the best decision Cameron’s ever made. Infinitely Polar Bear is quirky, funny, and celebrates family – warts and all.

Which James Bond film was released first: A Vieww Q: to a Kill, Licence to Kill or The Living Daylights?

Marchđ2015 | 117 MOVIES

DVDs

INTERSTELLAR Science Fiction

Just imagine the upheaval of moving house – on a worldwide scale. That’s the predicament facing human life when a global crop blight renders the future of Earth untenable. But wait! Help is at hand with NASA physicist, Professor Brand (Michael Caine) devising a plan to save mankind by transporting the Earth’s population to a new home via a wormhole. Brand’s plan begins by sending former NASA pilot Cooper (Matthew McConaughey) and a team of researchers including biologist Amelia (Anne Hathaway) on an interstellar voyage through the wormhole and across the galaxy in search of a new inhabitable planet.

Did you know? When you think of Wayne’s World (1992), slapstick comedy, bad hair and the iconic “Bohemian Rhapsody” car scene are sure to come to mind. But did you know that this famous sing-a-long almost didn’t make it? Apparently the producers wanted a Guns N’ Roses song and Mike Myers had to fight for the Queen anthem, even threatening to quit if they didn’t choose it.

A: A View to a Kill (1985) (Starring Roger Moore)

118 | Marchđ2015 BOOK DIGEST

LONELY PLANETPLANET’S S BEST EVER TRAVELTR TIPS has some ideas for special souvenirs that capture your adventures. Don’t limit yourself to photos – collect tangible reminders of your holiday for your shelves or scrapbook: O Ticket stubs from public transport O Shirt of a national sports team or, O Fallen leaves if that’s too expensive, shorts or O A CD by a popular local band socks O Beer bottle label O Well-thumbed guidebook O Postcards sent to yourself from O A map with your route sketched the road on it O Your own sketches drawn while O Sound recording of street scenes travelling O A musical instrument.

Marchđ2015 | 119 BOOKS

From ROYAL LOVE STORIES (Ivy Press) by Gill Paul: “... In January 1931 Wallis Simpson obtained an invitation to a party Prince Edward would be attending and contrived to sit next to him at the luncheon. Edward’s first words toherwere,‘Youmustmisscentral heating. Mrs Simpson.’ It was a luxuryEnglishhousesdidnothave at the time. ‘Every American woman who comestoEnglandisaskedthat same question,’ she replied. ‘I had hoped for something more original fromthePrinceof Wales.’ She had correctly divined that he was attracted to dominant women, Wallis Simpson with the Duke of and his interest in Windsor on their wedding day: her was immediately June 3, 1937 – six months after his piqued.” abdication as king

“...Whohasn’t,inthemiddleofaclear-out,kept something ‘just in case’, even though they haven’t used it for years? Who doesn’t have clothes that they hope will fit or become fashionable again one day? Who doesn’t keep DIY parts or sports gear they haven’t used for years because you never know when they could come in handy? And who hasn’t, when challenged,said,‘ButIlikeit!’outloud,asifthatwere enough to explain why something is worth keeping? Thereisnomaterialdifferencebetweenyouand a clinicallydiagnosedhoarder,yousee.Itisa difference of degree.” STUFFOCATION: LIVING MORE WITH LESS (Viking) by James Wallman

120 | Marchđ2015 Questions of life and death “... The real science of suspended animation has taken quite a beating as a result of the humorous uses to which it’s been put in film. There is, for instance, Miles Monroe in Sleeper, who wakes after two hundred years,wrapped in tinfoil like last week’s corned beef on Pico Iyer in THE ART OF STILLNESS: ADVENTURES rye. And there’s the French comedy Hibernatus, in which the protagonist wakes IN GOING NOWHERE (TED up after 65 years in a small town that has Books, Simon & Schuster): been created in the image of 1905 to avoid “... By the time I meet 59-year- the shock. And there is my personal old Frenchman Matthieu favourite, Douglas Adams’s Hitchhiker’s Ricard [who had taken Tibetan Guide to the Galaxy series, in which a monastic robes], he was spaceship’s crew puts the entire passenger routinely described as ‘the manifest in suspended animation because happiest man in the world.’ they can’t bear the thought of taking off I asked him a typical travellers’ without an adequate supply of lemon- question: How did he deal with scented napkins. jet lag? He looked at me, But if suspended animation means surprised. ‘For me a flight is slowing a person’s metabolism to the point just a brief retreat in the sky,’ that all of the normal processes of life are Matthieu said, as if amazed put on hold, then similar processes occur in that the idea didn’t strike nature all the time. If we can figure out how everyone. ‘There’s nothing animals do it, then maybe we can teach I can do, so it’s really quite people to hibernate too.” liberating. There’s nowhere in else I can be. So I just sit and David Casarett watch the SHOCKED: clouds and ADVENTURES IN the BRINGING BACK blue sky. THE RECENTLY (Current) Everything DEAD is still and everything is moving. It’s beautiful.’” PHOTOS: GETTY IMAGES; THINKSTOCK: EXTRACTS MAY BE EDITED FOR SPACE AND CLARITY SPACE BE EDITED FOR MAY EXTRACTS THINKSTOCK: GETTY IMAGES; PHOTOS: BRAIN POWER TEST YOUR MENTAL PROWESS Puzzles

Challenge yourself by solving these puzzles and mind stretchers, then check your answers on page 113

Devilish Digits 3 Figures 6 Figures Can you fit these numbers into the grid? One number 474 243131 has already been given to help you. 923 545867 624644 3 4 Figures 925878 1837 6 1924 7 Figures 1 3611 2514994 1 3998 2730687 7837 3131906 8766 3298902 8914 3453729 8981 3620561 3796867 5 Figures 3817502 10389 6313808 12429 6824207 12739 7216961 19747 7820496 27671 8183987 48163 9590549 57825 61783 71893 81032

Word Search Can you find a new word that could complete the first word and begin the second. SEA ( _ _ _ _ ) WAYS

122 | Marchđ2015 PUZZLES

Hidden Meaning Identify the common R I S L words or phrases above.

E N A A

D T S E A

Globe Trot Can you spell out an exotic two-word destination, travelling through each circle once only? Hint: it’s a statuesque location.

B OONS

B

x MO E K C Out of Area What percentage of the mauve circle is covered by the white circle?

Marchđ2015 | 123 BRAIN POWER

TEST YOUR GENERAL KNOWLEDGE Trivia

1. Where on the body is your population density (per quadriceps? 1 point km2), lowest to highest: 2. The velocipede was an early form of Australia, Bangladesh, what common people mover? 1 point India, Singapore, South Africa, UK? 3 points 3. Which two of the seven wonders of the ancient world were in Egypt? 12. The adult of 2 points which species is generally heavier: a 4. A dispute during which year’s FIFA Kodiak bear or saltwater World Cup, was one of the causes of a crocodile? 1 point fiveEBZ XBS CFUXFFO
&M
4BMWBEPS
BOE
10. Honduras? 1 point Is the fast food chain spelled MacDonald’s or McDonald’s? 1 point 5. Which country 11. In round figures, how many red flies this flag and blood cells does your body create has given its name in a day: a) 200,000 b) 2 million to a style of shorts? c) 2 billion? 1 point 1 point 13. Three singers celebrate birthdays 6. $SJTJTQSPOF +BDL Bauer was the on March 30. Can you name them? protagonist of which US TV series, r 5ISFFUJNF inductee to the rock and roll hall of fame for The Yardbirds, and who played him? 2 points Cream and his solo career. 7. The NNMPOH NBMF bee r5IF US rapper famous for his dance hummingbird holds what record? moves and hit “U Can’t Touch This”. 1 point r " $BOBEJBO songstress best known 8. What number is the sum of the for her Titanic hit. 3 points seven Roman numerals? 1 point 14. Which country has the most gold 9. According to the UN, can you place medals GPS XPSME DIBNQJPO GJHVSF JDF these countries in order according to skating: US, Russia or Norway? 1 point

16-20 Gold medal 11-15 Silver medal 6-10 Bronze medal 0-5 Wooden spoon

1 )2blin 2 atae rcdl 4010k) 3 rcCatn CHme,Cln in 4 US. 14. Dion. Celine Hammer, MC Clapton, Eric 13. (400–1000kg). crocodile Saltwater 12. billion. 2 c) 11.

.1.McDonald’s. 10. ). (7436.3/km Singapore ), (1049.5/km Bangladesh ), (366.8/km India ), K(255.5/km UK

2 2 2 2

), (42.1/km Africa South ), la(2.9/km alia Austr 9. 1666. 8. world. the in bird Smallest 7. Sutherland. Kiefer ; 24 6.

2 2

1. Thigh. 2. Bicycle. 3. Great Pyramid of Giza and Lighthouse at Alexandria. 4. 1970; Mexico. 5. Bermuda. Bermuda. 5. Mexico. 1970; 4. Alexandria. at Lighthouse and Giza of Pyramid Great 3. Bicycle. 2. Thigh. 1. ANSWERS: COMPILED BY GAIL MACCALLUM; PHOTO: THINKSTOCK PHOTO: GAIL MACCALLUM; BY COMPILED

124 | Marchđ2015 BRAIN POWER IT PAYS TO INCREASE YOUR Word Power Zoo Logic Arealsafarimaybeout of reach, but you can still talk about the animal kingdom like aseasonedguide.Explorethis menagerie of words and then scout for answers on the next page. 1. fauna n. –A:babydeer.B:beast of myth. C: animal life in a region. B: weasely. C: arched like the 2. nicker v. – A: chirp. B: chatter. carapace of a tortoise. C: whinny. 10. clutch n. – A: forepaw. B: nest 3. savannah n. – A: grassland. of eggs. C: predator’s quarry. B: sandy strip. C: river course. 11. tawny adj. – A: of a warm sandy 4. nocturnal adj. – A: fast moving. colour. B: having talons. C: with soft B: without legs. C: active at night. feathers. 5. vulpine adj. – A: like a wolf. 12. prehensile adj. – A: capable of B: like a fox. C: like a crow. grasping. B: developed in an eggshell. 6. flews n. –A:swarmsofmidges. C: eats insects. B: cuckoo nests. C: droopy lips, 13. aestivate v. – A: store water as like a bloodhound’s. camels do. B: change habitats. 7. aquiline adj. – A: resembling an C: lie dormant through hot weather. eagle’s beak. B: living in the sea. 14. territorial adj. – A: like a terrier. C: warm-blooded. B: relating to a specific area. 8. piebald adj. – A: hairless. C: having an ability to swim. B: irregular patches. C: scaly. 15. simian adj. – pertaining to: 9. testudinate adj. – A: fishy. A: lions. B: apes. C: snakes.

POOR, MISUNDERSTOOD HIPPO The word hippopotamus comes to us from Greek roots: hippos meaning “horse”, and potamos meaning “river”. But, biologically, referring to the rotund mammal as a “river horse” is a misnomer; its closest relatives are whales and dolphins. BY EMILY COX & HENRY RATHVON; ILLUSTRATIONS BY JILL CALDER BY ILLUSTRATIONS RATHVON; & HENRY COX EMILY BY

Marchđ2015 | 125 WORD POWER

Answers

1. fauna – [C] animal life in a region. “I studied up on Kenya’s fauna so I’d know what to look for during the safari.” 2. nicker –[C] whinny like a horse. 10. clutch – [B] nest of eggs. “Tex nickers so well that people feed “Debbie defends her dinner plate him oats!” as aggressively as a hen protects her clutch.” 3. savannah – [A] grassland. “The cheetah stalked its prey from the tall 11. tawny – [A] of a warm sandy grass of the savannah.” colour. “My favourite thing about a lion cub is its tawny coat.” 4. nocturnal – [C] active at night. “City dwellers joke that the nocturnal 12. prehensile – [A] capable of chirping of crickets is a more grasping. “The giraffe’s long tongue bothersome sound than the noise of and prehensile upper lip help it strip late-night traffic.” leaves from the branches of treetops.” 5. vulpine – [B] like a fox. “Rudy 13. aestivate – [C] lie dormant approached the devilled eggs with a through hot weather. “Desert reptiles vulpine lick of his chops.” aestivate underground to seek refuge from the strong sun.” 6. flews – [C] droopy lips, like a bloodhound’s. “When my dog Fido 14. territorial – [B] relating to a snores, his flews flap in the breeze.” specific area. “Cats are very territorial creatures; my dog knows to keep out 7. aquiline – [A] resembling an eagle’s beak. “Adrien Brody makes of my kitty’s preferred places to nap!” an aquiline nose look good.” 15. simian– [B] pertaining to apes. “The two gorilla-sized bodyguards 8. piebald – [B] irregular patches. “Of the many cattle breeds, I like the tripped over their long simian arms to piebald Holsteins best.” keep up with the movie star.” 9. testudinate – [C] arched like the VOCABULARY RATINGS carapace of a tortoise. “The church’s 5 & below: Safari so-goodie 6–10: Roaring along testudinate dome was based on early 11–12: Smarter than the average bear Roman architecture.” 13-15: Word Power wizard

126 | Marchđ2015 Explore, Interact, Inspire

Available now, everywhere Hours of great reading

Don’t miss out! Each issue packed

HOURS OF with real-life GREAT READING

|

H WORLD’S BEST LOVEDTHE MAGAZINE Q drama, laughs and SPINE inspiring stories. TINGLING SUBSCRIBE

TALESWEIRD COINCIDENCES IN REAL LIFE AND SAVE A HIDDEN CONDITION STEALING | readersdigest.co.za YOUR SLEEP ON RETAIL

ELVIS EXCLUSIVE EXTRA TEST YOUR TRIVIA IQ SUBSCRIBER PAGES HEART EXPERTS’ EVERY HEALTH SECRETS BONUS ISSUE LIVING THE EXOTIC FOR PRINT SUBSCRIBERS ONLY SEACHANGE

For more details, head to: ASIA: rdasia.com/subscribe AUSTRALIA: readersdigest.com.au/subscribe NEW ZEALAND: readersdigest.co.nz/subscribe SOUTH AFRICA: readersdigest.co.za/subscribe