Fruits of the Spirit

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Too Important to Ever Forget Personal Stories to Motivate the Pursuit of Fruit by Tim Morrison as a 10-day devotional

Begin with a short scripture. “The Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Galatians 5:22-23a

Before electronic devices reminded us of important details, small strings were tied loosely on fingers to remind the wearer of something so important it merited a special reminder. Go old school with the Sr. High on Tour and use string to remind you of who you are called by God to be. Know that this Spiritual Discipline is geared to the youth experience complete with a prayer partner, random questions and scripture memorization. Don’t freak out! Participate as you feel called to participate and be ready for what God can do in you!

For each of the nine Fruits, there is a story not meant to define the Fruit, but create an atmosphere for creatively considering the Fruit. After reading each story, tie a string loosely on your finger to constantly remind you of the power that Fruit can have in your life. Allow the string to remind you to offer a breath prayer. (A breath prayer is a brief prayer offered repeatedly, whose repetition has the potential to redirect, re-energize and re-prioritize one’s perspective.) This Spiritual Discipline is “ripe” with blessings for the 10 days to follow. Each string will be an outward sign of an inward focus on your part to live differently: to be driven by, led by, and consumed by the grace that comes from God when faithful people pursue a life immersed in the Holy Spirit.

1 Love why do we fall in love? 2 2 Joy special delivery 7 3 Peace what’re you afraid of? 11 4 Patience lessons from driving 15 5 Kindness love languages 19 6 Goodness private devotion 25 7 Gentleness merry-go-round 31 8 Faithfulness trip to the Holy Land 35 9 Self-control vomit diary 39 10 Holiness sanctification 45

Add a different string every time you participate in this Fruitful journey. After the nine Biblical Fruits have been lifted up, use the tenth day, (10 fingers with strings unless you choose to use one string for the whole week,) to accept the challenge of living a holy life. If you can withstand the public display, it will likely bring many opportunities to share your journey with curious witnesses. If, (or when) this happens, the Fruit pursuit is evangelistically shared.

1 Grab a Bible, find a writing utensil, search for a bit of string and journey with the Sr. High on Tour who are experiencing the same Spiritual Discipline. Tomorrow begins the first Fruit!

2 th Spiritual Discipline ~ Thursday, June 15

1. If you are seated next to a tour member on the plane, consider them today’s prayer partner(s) and write their name(s) here: ______. 2. Introduce yourselves to each other, a full minute for both of you. 3. Express your highs and lows of the last 24 hours. 4. Funny topics: If you were to change your name, what would you change it to and why? Horror, comedy, sci-fi, or romance movie for a date. 5. Faith topics: Who is your best example (besides Jesus) of someone who is loving? What personality traits drive you crazy and make it difficult for you to love someone? 6. Scripture: Read I John 4:7-21, write and memorize verses 7-8 ______Fruit 1 ~ Love

I first met Kathryn when she was in arranged. Long before the wedding, she elementary school. She became a constant chose a scripture reading and made a unique fixture in our Texas congregation, appearing request that I preach a short sermon during whenever the door was open. Over several the ceremony. Again, I was honored. years, we became good friends. After her high school graduation, Kathryn went to Months passed quickly. While college on the east coast and her parents Kathryn’s life had one major focus: her moved to Orlando, Florida. But, we still kept wedding, my life filled up with many other in touch. things. Both of us were truly blessed and When Kathryn fell in love with busy. Kathryn called me on the Monday James, she was eager for us to meet. James evening prior to her wedding. I was at a was and is a wonderful young man, a great baseball game, sitting behind home plate match for Kathryn’s kind heart and fervent watching my son as the catcher. I answered faith. Kathryn invited me to officiate for her my cell, trying to hear Kathryn above the wedding. I was honored with the request. crowd. I attempted to focus on her voice; The ceremony would not be in Texas however, I was preoccupied with my son’s because her family no longer lived in the stance as he crouched behind home plate. Lone Star State, and Kathryn had few Was he aware of the other runners? Was he relationships in Florida; therefore, we would prepared for a throw to second? Was he celebrate her marriage in James’ hometown, going to keep the next wild pitch from Annapolis, Maryland. getting away? Kathryn has always been and today Kathryn sensed my distraction. She remains a hyper-organized person. Long called wanting confirmation of my wedding before the wedding, our transportation was preparation. She wanted a taste of my

3 sermon as she anticipated the biggest situation and they offered useless humor: weekend of her life. To say the least, I did “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” not meet her expectations. I even had the “Take care of his stomach and he’ll stay at nerve to question whether or not I still had home.” It was fun, but super non-productive. the chosen scripture in hand. When we By the time the plane landed I was ended the conversation I quickly absorbed nurturing paranoia. I greeted Kathryn’s myself back into the game. father and wondered if his eyes were The next morning, I received a call questioning the value of bringing me to from Kathryn’s mom in Orlando. As gently Annapolis. I greeted James and his family at as she could, her mother let me know of her the rehearsal dinner and internally wondered daughter’s disappointment in me. Humility if they had discussed my unfortunate was not my first response. Kathryn was Monday evening phone conversation with questioning the priority her wedding had in the bride. I no longer needed Kathryn to my life. I felt harshly judged that a question me. I was doing plenty of that on conversation during a ballgame was being my own. used to interpret my priorities. But, I wasn’t afraid. I still had all However, my confidence did not night, and the next morning, to pull stuff wane. I thought to myself, “It’s me! I’ll together. God would provide. bring it! I’ll think of something so cool that The rehearsal dinner was high class. no one will doubt the priority I placed on We enjoyed fine dining at the Yacht Club on this sacred event.” I set a blank pad of paper the Bay. I ate things out of the ocean I had on my desk and wrote “Kathryn’s Wedding” never seen before. But something in a shell at the top. Every day I stared at the blank and I did not get along. I returned to the pad. I prayed for inspiration, but everything hotel as sick as a dog, up all night, hot then that entered my mind reeked of cliché. cold and becoming increasingly frustrated Everything seemed trite and overdone and I and angry. needed something profound to prove my The next morning I skipped diligent preparation. I wondered, “Are there breakfast and lunch in the hotel lobby with no new dynamic things to say about love Kathryn’s family. My insecurity imagined and the covenant of marriage?” their judgment with my absence. Lynda, not Each day of the week passed into the wanting to go alone found something to eat next without inspiration. I wasn’t worried. in the hallway vending machine. The There was plenty of time to organize my afternoon rolled around and I showered and thoughts. When Friday rolled around, I cleaned-up but remained exhausted. announced to my wife, Lynda, that I would Inspiration still eluded me and I felt not be able to talk during the flight from abandoned by God. We went to the wedding. Texas to Maryland: I had a sermon to write. Everyone was so blasted happy. Grinning I had something to prove. I prayed. was everywhere and it merely reminded me The empty pad sat before me on the of what I was not prepared to do. I looked to seatback tray. Nothing. Out of desperation I my wife, apologized and abandoned her for asked the passengers around me for privacy anywhere I could find it. marriage advice. Seemingly, they weren’t I located the second grade Sunday offended that I asked! I explained my school room in the basement. I sat in a little

4 chair with my knees above my waist and “The truth is, Kathryn, I don’t think poured out my heart in prayer. you fell in love with James because he is “Where are you God? Why won’t cool at all. I don’t care what gifts and talents you help me out a little bit?” What am I God has bestowed upon him. The reason going to do? Wing it?” you fell in love with James has nothing to do Winging it is fine when it’s off the with James, directly. The reason you fell in cuff. But after you have been dipping into love with James is not because he is cool, the same well for 5 days and coming up dry but because he makes you feel cool about it’s a bit crazy to dip one more time. Maybe being you. James is the only guy in this I would simply ignore the spot in the room that makes you feel. . . bulletin where it mentions “sermon” and act Valuable. like I forgot. Maybe I’d smile and quote Chosen. something already said by somebody cooler Important. than me. Maybe I’d slam my hand in the Needed. door just hard enough to look terrible, The reason you fell in love with James is without permanent damage, and go to the because James has the unique ability to hospital. make you feel like the center of the planet. I went upstairs, stood in line with What a wonderful gift! James has helped to James and the guys and had no idea what shape how you see yourself.” would happen. One more time, I placed my “Why does love like this get lost? life in God’s hands. How long does it take? A year? A decade? The ceremony passed quickly right And a spouse realizes that they feel up to the sermon and then time stood still. completely. . . As I glanced through the congregation, my Assumed eyes caught my wife. She smiled. I couldn’t Tolerated decide if her smiling eyes were a reflection Like a roommate. of support and encouragement, or laughter at Sometimes, in relationships, we merely feel my predicament. like the role we play: “What does my wife see in me? I’m Taxi driver just not that cool. I’ve obviously let Maid everyone down.” God showed up in the Provider.” midst of my sigh. I looked to James and questioned, I looked into Kathryn’s eyes and “So, why did you fall in love with asked, “So Kat, why did you fall in love Kathryn?” Everyone in the room, including with James? Really, what is so cool about me, anticipated what was coming. James that you fell in love with him and not “There is something about Kat that any of the other awesome guys in this makes you feel. . room?” Kathryn leaded forward. Her eyes Strong questioned if I wanted her to actually Trusted respond. Depended upon “I mean, Kathryn, what amazing Desired cool things can James do that no one else can do? What’s so cool about James?”

5 There is something about Kathryn that her today. This is how you express your love makes you feel special, unique and for her. And the most important gift you significant.” continue to give throughout your lives “James, know this. This is too together.” important to ever forget. From this day forward, your wife is evaluating your marriage based on how you make her feel about herself. This is your greatest gift to

You, too, have been blessed by God with significant and valuable relationships, some by blood and some by choice. You have been given human gifts to cherish, love and respect. For this moment, choose a family member in your life that matters a great deal. For purposes of this discussion, for real, pick an important person in your family and write their name: ______. Have you ever wondered what words this person would choose to describe the way you make them feel about themselves? Do you think this person that you picked above, feels as important as they actually are in your heart? Be honest with yourself. I’ll restate another way. Imagine what three words they would choose to define how you make them feel about themselves, positive or negative, and write those words here: ______, ______, ______. Consider, what words would you like for them to choose? What words would you hope they chose? What three awesome words would describe how you wish this family member felt when you walked in the room: ______, ______, ______. Now, how can you be sure they feel that way? You can simply walk up to your loved one and tell them how valuable they are in your life, and you should. But what actions would you choose to be sure they felt valuable in addition to hearing they are valuable? How does that happen? How is it going to happen? What difference would it make in their life if you spent significant time and energy making sure they knew deep in their soul how important they are to you? What difference would it make in your life knowing how hard you worked at lifting up your loved ones? This is true of everyone who is in relationship with you. How do you make your siblings feel about themselves? How do you make your parents feel about themselves? How do make the people around you feel about themselves? Your enemies? Employer? Your friends? You are given the beautiful, sacred power to help shape the esteem of everyone who comes in contact with you. What are you going to do with that awareness? How will you live this day differently?

This is too important to forget: love is both a gift to receive and a responsibility to offer. You were born to experience love and to offer love to a broken world.

Love often sacrifices. It can be creative. It does not need to be requested. Look around your life today. Pick out an innocent victim of your love in action. Go crazy over-the-top enthusiastic in your love. Today, more than any other day, choose love as your demeanor. Share love, repeatedly and enthusiastically. May this string elicit a breath prayer every time you see it. May your prayer remind you that love is a Fruit of the Holy Spirit. It is yours to seek, experience, and share.

Be challenged. And then be ready to be blessed by love.

7 Tie a string around your first finger and may it remind you of the power of love in action.

! (I recommend that the string is tied on your finger where a ring would be worn, close to your hand, not as pictured.)

Choose a breath prayer and memorize. Here are three examples for your consideration:

a. “Holy Spirit, fill me with love. Use me to inspire love.” b. “May the seed of love in me, bear Fruit of love around me.” c. “As I rest in the Holy Spirit, love rests in me.”

Share with your prayer partner today which prayer you chose and recite it for memory.

Repeat this prayer to yourself every time you glance at the string around your finger. Say it. . .maybe 20 times today. Mean it when you say it at least 5 times. Change what you are doing to reflect this prayer at least once, today.

May this spiritual discipline today, bring you closer to God and closer to the person God hopes you will become.

1. Hold hands and pray for each other, aloud if comfortable: If not, squeeze your partner’s hand when you are finished. Consider praying for their faith development as a result from their heartfelt attention to a day spent seeking the Holy Spirit and the Fruit they might see within themselves. 2. When finished, remain quiet so that all groups have an equal opportunity to complete this assignment without distraction.

Use this space to reflect, journal, pray.

8 Spiritual Discipline ~ Friday, June 16th

1. Write the name of today’s prayer partner: ______. 2. Introduce yourselves to each other, a full minute for both of you. 3. Express your highs and lows of the last 24 hours. 4. Funny topics: Best tv show for crying. Funniest stand-up comedian. . .ever 5. Faith topics: Who is the happiest person you know? Describe the most negative, critical, downer of a person you have experienced, without saying names. 6. What was yesterday’s Fruit? ______. Describe the success of your attempt at the spiritual discipline associated with yesterday’s finger. 7. Recite yesterday’s memorized scripture to each other, I John 4:7-8. 8. Scripture: Habakkuk 3:18 ______memorize Fruit 2 ~ Joy

Little Lila was a bit smaller than the one family member to another, being met other 6 year old girls on her soccer team. with different levels of patience. But what she lacked in intimidation she When the soccer game ended, the made up for in effort. With pigtails flying in family packed up their gear with the the air, she skipped around the field even precision of a scout troop and loaded the when she didn’t know where to find the ball. SUV. Lila’s coach circled the girls for a last Lila’s family provided quite a cheering minute speech before letting the girls leave section all lined up in camping chairs on the the field. He knew he was on thin ice with sidelines. Mom and Dad sat side-by-side every mom waiting for their daughter. wearing team t-shirts with diet-cokes in Soccer demanded a great deal from these hand. Jenna, the eldest of the four kids, but young ladies, but the coach feared a game just 13 years old, did not understand the on Mother’s Day afternoon might have put value of soccer. Her world revolved around him in the doghouse. He led the final cheer art and she passed the time at the game and sent his young teammates to hug their creating another contribution to her moms. Lila had good intentions of hugging portfolio. Mason, the next in line, loved the her mother, but she was distracted by the game of soccer most when he played but excitement of leftover doughnuts she less when he watched. His portable game brought for her team. If she spread out the system kept him busy during the time-outs. left-over doughnuts and ate just one per day The youngest, Samuel, had his own chair they could last the week! but sitting was not his skill. At 4 years old, Dads voice rose above the family he had not quite learned the art of clamor on the ride home. “Listen kids, I’m entertaining himself. He shuffled about from ordering pizza when we get to the house. Who wants what?” Even though Dad knew

9 the response, it never kept him from asking. Jenna was persistent. She picked up Samuel, Secretly, he longed for the day when pizza now standing in his chair, sat him down could have another topping besides alfredo again and looked to Mason with a pointed cheese. The SUV pulled into the garage and finger. “Keep Sam in his seat until I get Jenna helped Samuel out of his seat. Mom back.” Mason, now in charge, began to wipe sent Lila to the shower. Mason transferred to Sam’s face and hands and asked Lila if she the more sophisticated game system in the wanted her last piece of pizza as he picked it family room and Dad looked on the fridge up and took a bite. Fortunately, Lila was for the pizza delivery phone number. done. Mason brought the kitchen trash can The family was brought back to the edge of the table and it was cleared in together with the sound of the doorbell. Sam a couple of passes with his arm, pizza box was the first to reach the front door. Mason and all. opened the door to find the pizza man with Jenna returned to the kitchen table pie in hand, “Special delivery for someone with a large white t-shirt in one hand and a special like you!” And he lowered the pizza permanent marker in the other. She to Sam’s eagerly waiting eyes and hands. smoothed out the t-shirt and wrote in bubble Dad paid the man, took the pizza from Sam letters, “Hugs 2 last all night.” After she and went to the kitchen counter. Dad traced her open hand on each side of the t- commanded the kids the sit at the table as he shirt, she instructed each child to place their placed two slices on two paper plates. To open hands on different places on the shirt their surprise, he handed one to mom and as she traced. (Younger children are not kept one for himself. As he placed the permitted to use permanent markers.) Jenna remaining on the table he announced that he beamed with the thought that their hand and mom would be eating in the car on their prints would hug mom while she slept. way to get ice cream. “I’m taking mom to Mason, not to be outdone, claimed get her favorite desert for a Mother’s Day an assignment. “I’ll do decorations.” But treat. Jenna, you’re in charge. We’ll be back there were no balloons. No streamers. No in few.” Mom grabbed her purse as Dad party hats. What could he do? Mason went grabbed the keys and they left without to each bathroom and claimed every roll of fanfare as the kids focused on dinner. toilet paper in the house. He went to the Jenna, feeling responsible, was garage and located the duct-tape. Then trying to equally distribute remaining pieces Mason went to work in the kitchen. He of cheese pizza. Lila, with hair still wet from taped down one end of paper to a kitchen the shower, was the first to recognize the chair and tossed the other over the ceiling lack of Mother’s Day celebration. “We light fixture. Back and forth, over cabinets, should do something nice for mom.” A wide around appliances, taped to walls and draped range of suggestions flew around the table over pictures. Mason thought it looked just and then Jenna, in dramatic Jenna fashion, like new fallen snow. He was so impressed flung her arms in the air and declared her with his glorious masterpiece of white. And wonderful suggestion. as the available supply was about to run out, “Let’s make mom a night shirt! We’ll Mason wrapped the remaining white decorate one of Dad’s t-shirts! Mason, quite streamers around his head creating a party naturally questioned the suggestion but

10 hat turban secured with a final touch of duct printer and sprinted to his room to fetch a tape. blue crayon. Sam knew the alphabet, but he Lila was deeply concerned about loved picture sentences the best and he cake. Every party, even Mother’s Day, imagined his finished masterpiece. “U needed a cake. She asked Jenna, working (picture of a nose) (picture of an eye) (a feverishly on the night shirt, “Jenna, do heart) U.” Mother’s Day cakes have candles?” Jenna Sam lay in the middle of the family replied with claimed authority, “Every party room floor and crafted his card. But the nose cake has candles.” Lila was worried. They was much more difficult than he imagined. couldn’t bake a cake. They didn’t have The nose on his card looked nothing like a birthday candles. What could they use? nose and Sam was crushed. He complained Lila’s eyes fixed upon the left-over to Lila, who was busy with a doughnut cake doughnut box on the kitchen counter. She tower. Mason was certain that he didn’t squealed with delight as she ran though the know how to draw a nose and Jenna said she kitchen, grabbed the box and darted into the could help when the t-shirt was complete. formal dining room. Her smile took up her Sam decided to throw away his messed-up whole face as she put her idea into place. card and try one more time with another She stood on one of the grand dining room piece of paper. And then the sound of the chairs as she reached for the tall, beautiful garage door stopped everyone in their single candle stick in the center of the table. tracks. Carefully, meticulously, gingerly, she took a Each kid ran to the door as Mom single doughnut and threaded it over the came in. And Lila was the first to lead the long candle. And then another, and another family in a rendition of “Happy Mother’s until the full length of the candle was Day” to the tune of “Happy Birthday.” Dad doughnut heaven. She looked at her smiled, added his voice, and Sam stood on doughnut tower cake and wondered how she his tiptoes as he held out the last note. could move it. Would Dad let her light it Mother gazed at her white home with her when they came home? hands on her face. Jenna, filled with the joy Sam watched the bevy of activity of giving, thrust the night shirt in front of swirl around him. Jenna, Mason, and Lila mom just as mom lunged forward to catch were all working with such excitement. He the doughnut tower teetering in Lila’s hands. shuffled from one sibling to another, being Lila licked her fingers then clasped her met with different levels of patience. He was hands behind her back as she beamed with mostly interested in helping Mason with the the joy of her gift. Mason joyfully leapt up toilet paper. Mason, concerned with Sam’s and down until his party hat turban ability to artistically toss the roll, tried to transferred from his head to mom’s. find something else appropriate for Sam to Dad, overwhelmed with the do. “Sammy,” Mason questioned, “Why blessings of his joyful family, silently don’t you make mom a card or something? wondered if toilet paper decorations were She would really like that!” recyclable or if he needed to run to the store. And that was all the suggestion Mom’s heart swelled as she surveyed her Samuel needed. He ran to his dad’s office party. and grabbed a piece of paper from the

11 Sam panicked. The card was not as wide as he could, closed his eyes and done! He ran, re-examined the first attempt puckered his lips. . . waiting. Mom lowered out of the trash, and put it back in the can. herself with her new TP turban sliding His eyes began to well up with tears. Then forward, with one hand holding her night- he saw the pizza box in the trash beside his shirt and the other holding her doughnut card attempt. Sam held the empty box in his cake, she wrapped her arms around Sam and hands and remembered when it arrived at his received his special delivery kiss on her front door. He ran toward his mother, tossed cheek. Dad, Jenna, Mason, and Lila joined the box on the ground and stepped right in the group hug and mom smiled both inside the center of the cardboard in front of his and out. mom. “Special delivery for someone special like you!” Sammy joyfully opened his arms

Pure joy is a gift that comes when we love enthusiastically and experience being deeply loved. It is not to be confused with just laughter, which might be a reflection of humor; however, it may be accompanied by laughter. It is not to be confused with happiness, which might be a temporary high from an excellent chocolate cake; however, it may be accompanied by happiness. Joy-the Biblical Fruit of joy-comes from the Holy Spirit when we recognize how much we are loved by God and we desire to sanctify ourselves with overwhelming love for others. This kind of joy shapes how we look at the world. It changes our perspective of what is important and what is trivial. It modifies our actions, our tongues and our motivations. It inspires creative love and rejoices through experienced love.

This is too important to ever forget. Joy is a gift from love. It is the Fruit from the Holy Spirit that God showers upon people who comprehend who they are as a child of God and how they are called to live in this world. You were born to experience joy and to offer joy to a devastated world.

Today, more than any other day, choose joy as your demeanor. Share joy, repeatedly and enthusiastically. May this string elicit a breath prayer every time you see it. May your prayer remind you that joy is a Fruit of the Holy Spirit. It is yours to seek, experience and share. Be challenged. And then be ready to be blessed by joy. Tie a string around your second finger and may it remind you of the power of joy.

! Choose a breath prayer and memorize. Here are three examples for your consideration:

a. “Holy Spirit, fill me with joy. Use me to inspire joy.” b. “May the seed of joy in me, bear Fruit of joy around me.” c. “As I rest in the Holy Spirit, joy rests in me.”

12 Share with your prayer partner today which prayer you chose and recite it for memory.

May this spiritual discipline today, bring you closer to God and closer to the person God hopes you will become. 1. Hold hands and pray for each other, aloud if comfortable: If not, squeeze your partner’s hand when you are finished. Consider praying for their faith development as a result from their heartfelt attention to a day spent seeking the Holy Spirit and the Fruit they might see within themselves. 2. When finished, remain quiet so that all groups have an equal opportunity to complete this assignment without distraction.

13 th Spiritual Discipline ~ Saturday, June 17

1. Write the name of today’s prayer partner: ______. 2. Introduce yourselves to each other, a full minute for both of you. 3. Express your highs and lows of the last 24 hours. 4. Funny topics: Scariest villain. Does coconut taste like hair? 5. Faith topics: When were you the most afraid? When are you the most nervous? Have you ever had an experience of the Holy Spirit? Describe. Most peaceful place on earth. 6. What were the Fruits of the previous two days: ______and ______Describe the success of your attempt at the spiritual discipline associated with yesterday’s finger. 7. Recite previous memorized scripture to each other, I John 4:7-8, Habakkuk 3:18. 8. Scripture: Philippians 4:7 ______memorize

Fruit 3 ~ Peace

Within the last few months, three of you have shared with me your desire to harm yourself. And I know, beyond a shadow of doubt in my mind, you three are but a small number of you who have thought about it. The path to this dark, dark place is as different as each individual who found themselves there. I wonder, what is in common among all who think this world would be better off without them in it? At first reading, I assume you will find this comment trivial and an over-simplification of a complex and difficult situation: the absence of love, is a journey to a dark, dark, dark, place. I’ll explain. The opposite of love is fear. (Everything else I have to say about peace is based on that comment.) Hate is an emotion born in fear. Test that comment. Do you find it to be true? Fear is a poison, and enough of it can kill. We all have fear, absolutely everyone. We all drink its poison. All of our lives are made toxic by it. Since we all live with it, why do some of us become consumed by it, and others thrive in it? Even though we all experience fear, every day, all of the time, we do not all respond to it the same. Fear, when in the right perspective, shapes many of our good decisions. Fear of getting burned keeps our hands off the stove. When fear is a motivation for love, and love wins, then fear is understood, appreciated and respected. To complete the stove example, when fear keeps us from harming ourselves (or others) it is a tool used to love. When fear motivates us to harm, then it is a poison we willing drink. Back to my opening premise; the absence of love, is a journey to a dark place.

14 What are you afraid of? I’m not referring to snakes or spiders. Yes, they have the potential to harm us. I am asking, what are you afraid of that challenges your self-esteem? If you have an answer, write it here: ______

Peace is lost, . . .when fear rests continually in the gut, . . .when doubt is the strongest emotion, . . .when paranoia runs rampant and when disappointment is expected, then peace becomes all that is desired, and yet eludes.

What robs you of peace? What issue(s) do you lose sleep over? Check any of these concepts which you find easy to relate to.

_____ Has someone hurt you, and you find yourself overly focused on it? _____ Does someone, or someone’s power, intimidate you and hold you down? _____ Have you experienced a failure, and still feel the weight of that burden? _____ Do you feel unfairly judged? _____ Have you hurt someone, and the lack of resolution has a knot in your stomach? _____ When you look in the mirror, are you overly critical? _____ So you torment yourself over unmet expectations? Letting someone down? Saying the wrong thing? Making a fool of yourself? _____ Do others expect you to always be on top and the expectation becomes a burden? _____ Do you “need” to excel, and the self-inflicted pressure is consuming? _____ Do you struggle with feeling invisible, wanting it and hating it at the same time? _____ Do you feel rejected by a particular person or people? _____ Do you feel mis-understood or mis-represented? _____ Do your commitments and obligation create substantial stress which overwhelms you? _____ Have events in your life left you angry? _____ Do you feel unheard? _____ Do you grieve? Are you left with deep sadness? _____ Do you respond to your challenges by withdrawing from people and pulling inward? _____ Does a boy/girl friend or just a person in your circle govern whether or not you are up or down? _____ Do you feel compared to someone else? _____ Is there something you have done which you feel labels you, and you can’t move past it? _____ Are you disappointed in God, for prayers not answered, or expectations not realized? _____ What robs you of peace? Fill out your own answer. ______

15 ______

What goes on in your head? Is there turmoil? Is there chaos? Is there peace? Sometimes, peace is stolen from us by someone or something else. Sometimes, chaos is thrust upon us? Sometimes, we invite chaos into our lives. Regardless, chaos often breeds fear? We become afraid of the consequences of chaos. All too often, we anticipate the worst consequence of chaos even when the worst outcome is the least likely. Why do we expect the worst? Fear.

Fear demands to be seen under a microscope. It magnifies, seems larger than it is. Even a little fear, destroys big picture perspective and distorts big picture realities.

The opposite of fear is love. When you love, after others have wounded you, your wounds heal quickly. When you forgive your trespassers, the power of their trespass melts away. When set-backs threaten to break your back, love yourself. Love you, like God loves you, overwhelming and constant. When circumstances threaten to drown you, be reminded, you will survive. In the big picture of your loooooooong life, this chaos will pass. So love your life, chaos and all, and focus on the big picture of who you are and who you will become after this chaos is in your past.

Be reminded: God is the God of peace. God is in the business of restoration. God is best at recreating and new beginnings. You are not alone. God hears your prayers, knows your griefs, feels your pain, and comes to your aide.

How does one live in chaotic places? Knowing that God lives in the same room with you. Knowing that you are not alone; therefore, there is hope. Knowing that God is bigger than anything you are facing today. Believing that God sees a future you cannot see today. Knowing that there is incredible loving to be done in spite of poison. God can relieve us of your pain, heal your wounds, give you strength to go on. God offers power to dispel poison. God grants courage to do the difficult. God provides wisdom to channel your love.

You are not alone. You have God to hold on to. And God is not alone either. God has you. You are a manifestation of God. God uses you to share hope with those lost in chaos.

16 When you find yourself overwhelmed in conflict, and you reach out to faithful people, God uses them to remind you of possibilities you can no longer see. Hope enlightens perspective and renders chaos impotent so that you may continue to breathe, exhale, and live fully. You are called to difficult love, in difficult times, in difficult situations, for difficult people. But you can do that. You want to do that. You will do that. In the end, it is love that will heal, restore, and reunite. And peace will return. You will weather the poisons of disappointment and you will not merely survive. You will THRIVE! You will not merely endure. You will FLOURISH! Your heart will once again celebrate the blessings of life.

Peace is yours . . . to claim, to receive, to own, and to celebrate. Peace is not something you wait for. Peace is for now. Peace is not something to anticipate after the effects of the poison subside. Peace is claimed while toxins linger. This peace is not humanly possible without the strength of the Holy Spirit. Take this moment, shut out all distraction, and claim this day as a day of peace. You have already named the manifestations of fear in your life. Now, commit to dispel the things that rob peace. Desire peace in your life. Seek peace. Certainly do not contribute to chaos with your negativity, pessimism or doubt. May this “peaceful place” be your challenge, your goal to live within and exude to all who witness you.

This is too important to ever forget. Internal peace is something you choose, regardless of circumstance. (Re-read that sentence.) It is the Fruit from the Holy Spirit that God showers on people who comprehend who they are as a child of God and how they are called to live in this world.

Regardless of the chaos, in spite of real pain and deep wounds, God offers peace so that you can do more than survive. You can thrive! When you have only been able to endure you can flourish! You were born to experience peace and offer peace to a chaotic world. Today, more than any other day, choose peace as your demeanor. Share peace, repeatedly and enthusiastically. When fear, doubt, or negativity find a voice within you or around you, claim peace. May this string around your finger elicit a breath prayer every time you see it. May your prayer remind you that peace is a Fruit of the Holy Spirit. It is yours to seek, experience and share. Be challenged. And then be ready to be blessed by peace. Tie a string around your third finger and may it remind you of the power of peace.

17 ! Choose a breath prayer and memorize. Here are three examples for your consideration:

a. “Holy Spirit, fill me with peace. Use me to inspire peace.” b. “May the seed of peace in me, bear Fruit of peace around me.” c. “As I rest in the Holy Spirit, peace rests in me.”

Share with your prayer partner today which prayer you chose and recite it for memory.

May this spiritual discipline today, bring you closer to God and closer to the person God hopes you will become.

18 Spiritual Discipline ~ Sunday, June 18th

1. Write the name of today’s prayer partner: ______. 2. Introduce yourselves to each other, a full minute for both of you. 3. Express your highs and lows of the last 24 hours. 4. Funny topics: In your opinion, what takes too long? Could be anything. 5. Faith topics: Describe your tolerance for waiting. Why would God value patience? 6. What were the Fruits of the previous three days: ______, ______and ______. Describe the success of your attempt at the spiritual discipline associated with yesterday’s finger. 7. Recite previous memorized scripture to each other, I John 4:7-8, Habakkuk 3:18, Philippians 4:7. 8. Scripture: Read Colossians 1:10-11a. Write and memorize verse 11a.______

Fruit 4 ~ Patience

Scene 1 Kid: “Can I drive?” (Grabs keys and heads for the car.) Narrator: “When you are around 15 years young, you have the crazy opportunity to Parent: “I’m not sure I’m up for this.” receive a driver’s permit. You have probably anticipated this moment. You have dreamed Kid: (Jumps in driver’s seat and starts the about it and it has consumed a great deal of engine. “Route 66” plays on the radio. The your attention. You are now trusted behind kid pushes the seat back. Re-adjusts the the wheel in the presence of a licensed mirrors to accommodate a lazyboy reclining driver beside you. It is an incredible posture. As the car backs up the kid asks, experience with a roller coaster of emotions: “Can we listen to music from this excitement yet fear, freedom yet supervised, century? confident yet insecure.” Parent: “Seatbelt?” Parent: “Who used all of the milk and didn’t write it on the list on the fridge? We have Kid: “Got it.” (Attaches while driving.) nothing for breakfast! I guess I’m running to the grocery store for the umpteenth time this Parent: “We will just live without music week.” today,” (and turns the radio off.)

19 Narrator: The scene continues with the parent offering verbal directions Kid: (Jumps in drivers seat. Pushes seat back. The radio is the next agenda: the Parent: “Blinker? Slow down! Look both volume is cranked and “I Can’t Drive 55” ways. Check your mirrors.” rattles the windows. The mirror is readjusted to accommodate a lazyboy reclining posture. Narrator: The parent unconsciously The new licensed driver starts the engine accompanies the suggestions with a right and backs out the driveway and then onto foot pressing the floor on an imaginary the street. Before pulling forward the brake pedal, periodically gasping, tight lips, seatbelt is connected and sunglasses perched covering eyes, etc. The kid responds, (while on top of the nose. As the car approaches a aggressively chewing gum) with statements stoplight, the windows roll down. The kid reflecting confidence despite being looks out the window at another car waiting obviously nervous. Finally, the car comes to at the same light and mouths “how you an abrupt stop. Both passengers lunge doin?” because the music is too loud. The forward, then relax. The parent folds hands kid points right and mouths “grocery store.” and thanks Jesus for protection. While they Pause. The kid looks left and mouths close the car doors the kid asks a question. “Sonic?” A final wink and the car lunges forward at the light. The kid turns left, turns Kid: “Can I grab a bag of Oreos while you down the radio and picks up the cell.) get the milk? “Hey, come to Sonic. My mom’s card is payin.” Scene 2 Kid: (The car finds an easy spot in a shaded Narrator: “And then comes the magical day bay at the favorite drive-in.) “Oreo Blast, when you receive your license! (Kid jumps and do you guys sell milk?” up and screams with delight.) The word freedom takes on a whole new significance. Scene 3 Getting behind the wheel is exhilarating and exciting! You leap at every chance to drive Narrator: “Years later, maybe while in even if there is nowhere to go.” college, living in an apartment with careless roommates, the car driving perspective is Parent: “Who used all of the milk and didn’t shifting again. The thought of getting behind write it on the list on the fridge? We have the wheel makes your blood boil. Driving is nothing for breakfast! I guess I’m running to a last resort and only when necessary.” the grocery store for the umteenth time this week.” Kid: “Who used all of the milk and didn’t write it on the list on the fridge? We have Kid: “I got it! No problem. Can I grab some nothing for breakfast! I guess I’m running to Oreos while I’m there?” the grocery store for the umteenth time this week. I would rather do without breakfast Parent: “Alright. But straight to the store and than fight traffic this time of day. But, we back. No detours. Take my debit card.” appear to be out of Oreos.”

20 we live. One day, driving is a nervous Narrator: The kid begrudgingly gets back in experience. The next it is confident and the car. The radio plays “Jesus, Take the joyful. And later, driving has become a Wheel.” As the commute continues, the kid negative event. It’s hard to imagine that we periodically expresses traffic frustration with might see the exact same situation in a sighs, grimaces and wheel slapping. At the completely different light over the course of final climax of frustration, through clenched our lives. One day, when we are 15, a teeth, frustration is articulated. driver’s license is our greatest desire while, at the same time, sitting behind the wheel Kid: “Watch where you’re goin! Where did makes us afraid and excited all at the same you learn to drive? Are you blind? If my car time. We can barely imagine that before didn’t have my church’s name around my long the idea of sitting behind the wheel license plate, I’d give you a visual piece of might fill us regret and remorse with the my mind. Even Oreos aren’t worth the potential to elicit negative words from our drive!” mouths we wouldn’t normally say. PERSPECTIVE, what an interesting Narrator: We can only see our lives from the concept? white hot spotlight of the moment in which

Often, I have heard young people express incredible anxiety over an event in their lives. It is usually the kind of catastrophic event that overshadows everything else. Sometimes, they respond with great grief, self-harm or depression. It is so hard to keep these tragic events in perspective. There are so many adult situations into which we rush through without realizing how we will feel about the consequences when we are older. We waste so many of our current heart-beats in anticipation of the ones yet to come. Happiness is meant for the current moment, not “if or when” something else happens. We allow our impatience with ourselves and our impatience with the world to rob us of peace in the present. Peace is meant for the current moment, not “if or when” something else happens. Even as we age, we still fall into the trap of believing that joy is something yet to arrive. We convince ourselves that there are things to obtain or experience that will bring us contentment. Contentment is meant for the current moment, not “if or when” something else is achieved.

This is too important to ever forget. Life is not meant to be rushed. Enjoy the gift of the present moment. Celebrate the great possibilities of this day. Contentment accompanies patience. Happiness follows contentment. Trust that the same God who has blessed us in the past is still in the business of blessing us today with many more blessings yet to come in our future. Patience, is God’s gift through the Holy Spirit, to help you self-love. (That sentence merits a re-read.)

Patience is the Fruit from the Holy Spirit that God showers on people who comprehend who they are as a child of God and how they are called to live in this world.

21 Regardless of the anxiety that bubbles up inside of you because of what you don’t know yet, or have yet, what you know and what you have in this moment is sufficient. You were born to experience patience and offer patience to an impatient world. Today, more than any other day, choose patience as your demeanor. Share patience, repeatedly and enthusiastically. Do not be drawn into the anxiety of hurried expectation. (Re-read that sentence.) May this string around your finger elicit a breath prayer every time you see it. May your prayer remind you that patience is a Fruit of the Holy Spirit. It is yours to seek, experience and share. Be challenged. And then be ready to be blessed by patience. Tie a string around your fourth finger and may it remind you of the power of patience.

! Choose a breath prayer and memorize. Here are three examples for your consideration:

a. “Holy Spirit, fill me with patience. Use me to inspire patience.” b. “May the seed of patience in me, bear Fruit of patience around me.” c. “As I rest in the Holy Spirit, patience rests in me.”

Share with your prayer partner today which prayer you chose and recite it for memory.

May this spiritual discipline today, bring you closer to God and closer to the person God hopes you will become.

Use this space to reflect, journal, pray.

22 Spiritual Discipline ~ Monday, June 19th

1. Write the name of today’s prayer partner: ______. 2. Introduce yourselves to each other, a full minute for both of you. 3. Express your highs and lows of the last 24 hours. 4. Funny topics: Hottest actor/actress over 50. How much would it take to sell your left arm. 5. Faith topics: Describe the kindest person you know. Is our culture kinder to people with physical handicaps or mental illnesses? 6. What were the Fruits of the previous four days: ______, ______, ______and ______. Describe the success of your attempt at the spiritual discipline associated with yesterday’s finger. 7. Recite previous memorized scripture to each other, I John 4:7-8, Habakkuk 3:18, Philippians 4:7, Colossians 1:11a 8. Scripture: I John 3:18 ______memorize

Fruit 5 ~ Kindness

It is a difficult thing to consider how audibly gasped as my jaw dropped, but he many of the couples that asked me to defended his perspective. “Seldom, one perform their wedding ceremonies are still leaves what they have, without a vision of together. That awareness has prodded me to something different” Wow. His candor ask each bride and groom to promise me that seemed rude; but this content challenged they will seek a third party when things get me. weird at home, long before it’s too late for Karen and Dan arrived at the church the marriage. It appears that few seem to at separate times in separate vehicles. This take me up on that suggestion. was not a reflection of their marriage, but However, one couple made the call Karen came from home dressed in active and asked for an appointment to reconsider wear and Dan came from a formal office, their sacred vows. Karen made the call. She still dressed in his suit. cried as she shared the fractured nature of Karen wasted no time getting to the their relationship. Karen feared Dan would point. leave their relationship. I was nervous. My “Dan says he loves me but I can’t tell personal love for these two convicted me to by the way he acts, or looks at me, or the help any way I could, even if only to suggest things he says!” a great professional counselor! She started a well-prepared script of I asked my friend, colleague and events that supported her claim. This is not mentor for advice. Without hesitation he meant to be sarcastic or attempt to demean asked, “Who’s the other woman?” I think I her perspective. She was deeply hurt and

23 spent too long rehashing her wounds; assurance that you love her? What does she therefore, they were easy to share. complain the most that you don’t do?” Dan just slumped farther in the wing- “She thinks I should call her every back chair. His countenance fell. He seemed day just because I miss her and want to barely able to offer a defense. I simply asked share my day with her! I just don’t have him; “Dan, do you love Karen?” Dan replied time for that! She doesn’t understand that with clarity and conviction; I’m booked and I’m busy.” “Yes, no doubt.” “Well, Dan, how long would a “Do you understand why Karen reasonable daily phone call have to take? feels unloved?” Would she appreciate two minutes?” “No, well, yes, maybe.” “She would probably love 20, but I don’t have a degree in marriage she would throw a party for two.” counseling; I wish I did. I was a bit “So, can you set a goal, I mean a overwhelmed so I turned to Karen and asked timer. . .on your cell phone? Your alarm if she minded if I speak to Dan, alone. She could start chiming at you by 3:00 if you picked up her purse, waved to us both, said haven’t called your wife, just for a two something like “good luck” and went home. minute catch up? Is two too long? Can you Personally, I was grateful, not because I was do that? Could you call her every work day afraid of the conflict, but the toxic fumes in for a month? Is that impractical? the room seemed counter-productive. Impossible? Improbable?” “Dan, is there another woman?” “I could do it. She would love that. I “Absolutely not!” Dan was offended mean I’ve tried that but I keep forgetting.” that I even asked. “Then get out your cell, set a timed “Dan, I bet you’re the man in the goal like you would for work, and make a office that others count on. Are you the go to mid-day conversation with your wife your guy? I bet you meet deadlines and I wonder top priority for your marriage. Go ahead. I’ll if people have grown to depend on you. I wait. Your cell?” imagine you set goals, plan to achieve goals His thumbs clicked away and the and meet goals. Do I have it right?” goal was set. I tried a different avenue. Dan sat up a bit, humbly dropped his “Dan, do you ever buy little gifts or trinkets head a little and offered; “I guess that pretty to take home to your wife? I’m not referring much sums it up.” to holidays or anniversaries; I mean random “Dan, have you ever considered things for random occasions. making a goal to remind your wife that you “Not really, or at least not in a long love her? time.” “What? I don’t get it.” “Well, what if you stopped by a drug “If you can get it done at work, why store on your way home today and you can’t you get it done at home?” picked out 5 cheap gifts to give your wife as “I guess. I don’t know; she seems you walk in the door, like maybe a impossible to assure.” ‘Snickers’ and tell her she makes you laugh, “Dan, what is the first thing Karen or maybe a silk flower or maybe some would say she desires from you, as an perfume or whatever. What would it take? 5 minutes to pick out 5 things? Could you do

24 that today, then put them in your glove write how you love her. And every Friday compartment and pull out one every morning an alarm on your cell would remind Monday for a month and give her something you to pull one note out of your wallet and that reminds her that you appreciate her, leave for Karen, someplace obscure that she thought of her, considered her feelings and will find later in the day. Preparing them brought her a gift? Could you do that AND would only take what, 5 minutes?” put a reminder in your cell for an alarm And we discussed cool places to every Monday during your commute home leave notes: the coffee pot, her rear-view just to be sure you don’t forget?” mirror, her vanity and maybe we discussed “Sure, I could handle that.” the toilet paper roll. “Cool! I’ll wait. Cell?” As he typed I “Yeah, I can do that.” moved ahead with another suggestion. “Excellent! I have only one more “Dan, do you and Karen watch a question while you activate your cell.” Do particular television shows together?” you ever do any of Karen’s chores? Every “ G r e y ’s A n a t o m y, T h u r s a y family has their assumed chores. Do you evenings.” ever do Karen’s?” “Ok, do you think the two of you “Not actually, they are HER chores. could sit close to each other, maybe the What would be the point? same chair, and could you touch her for “It would be so cool, if every every minute of Grey’s Anatomy but not as a Saturday, before lunch, you secretly and prelude to intimacy?” quietly did 20 minutes of something on her “What?” to-do list. It must be unrequested and “Could you comb her hair, lightly unrecorded. She might flip!” tickle her arm, rub her back or message her Dan’s eyes lit up; calves? You know, physically connecting but “She would have to call her mother not to get something out of it but to give her and they would have to discuss what I did attention and remind her you love her. wrong and why was I trying to kiss-up.” Possible? For a month?” “Let’s see if we can make that “Definitely.” happen. Set a Saturday morning alarm by “I’ll wait. Thursday evening, Grey’s noon, got it?” AND Anatomy, if you know what I mean.” I Once again, thumbs flew and Dan paused while his thumbs tapped away. spoke as he tapped. “You know, Dan, my wife used to “Ok, I get it. I am actually making a write little sticky love notes. . . .” goal of showing my wife I love her in “Mine too, and leave them in my tangible actions with an accountability plan. lunch sack before I decided to eat out.” This makes me feel like a shmo. Has my “What if you sat at your desk, took marriage come to this? I can’t believe I’m out a stack of 5 sticky notes, wrote notes to this. . .guy! I don’t want to be this guy!” Karen and stuck them in your wallet? How “Dan, relax! You may have been this long would that take?” guy yesterday, but not today! And not “Forever.” tomorrow! One more thing, I want you to “Come on, Dan. It’s easy, just look pray this prayer, every night, on your way up and write 5 scriptures about love. Then

25 home. Record it on your phone and play it “Yeah, that’s cool.” before you enter your garage.” “Cell, one month, put me down.” “God, who blessed me with Karen, * * * help me be a blessing to her.” The day the phone rang, I was and “Imagine what God can do with a wasn’t surprised. “Dan, how are you doing? prayer like that! Remember, falling in love How are things going?” is not a “discipline.” But showing love can “Things are going well. I followed be and should be, quite disciplined.” through, just like we planned. At first I was “Let me explain what we have done overwhelmed. And then I was kind of here. There are 5 love languages and all of ashamed because these were such small us excel at some and fail at others. Karen is things and I made such a big deal about God’s gift to you. You are so blessed. This them. But she did freak out, in a good way. plan simply honors that love intentionally Actually, it was fun and I enjoyed and diligently. Let me remind you of your anticipating her response. I do have a plan for the next month. Every workday you question. Pastor, what if she has grown to will initiate a call to your wife offering expect this?” QUALITY TIME to communicate, share “Dan, awesome! You’re the man. So, and remind each other you love each other. what if she had grown to expect this? Are Every Monday you plan to honor the love you ok with that? Be creative, substitute language of GIFT GIVING simply by romantic poetry in place of scripture this walking in the door with a thoughtful time, or replace the drugstore with Victoria present. Every Wednesday evening you will Secret, or make gifts instead of buying them. lift up the love language of PHYSICAL But yes, you need to keep expressing love in TOUCH as you reconnect during Grey’s every language you can. You need to. And Anatomy. Every Friday morning you will you want to.” leave her sticky note with WORDS OF “I’m in, long term. And I’m grateful AFFIRMATION for her to find randomly to do it. Our relationship is better and I’m throughout the day. And every Saturday, better at our relationship.” through her chores, you will express the love “Dan, please get a book by Gary language of ACTS OF SERVICE. Most Chapman on Love Languages. Both you and importantly, you will be seeking God Karen check it out and then let’s get back through heartfelt prayer to be the Godly together to find the book’s additional husband you pledged to be on your wedding blessings for each of you. day.” “There is one more request. Will you contact me at the end of one month so we can talk about your marriage?”

I remind you of two loving women, Mary and Martha. You might re-read Luke 10. It is the story of Jesus entering Martha’s home. Martha spends her time preparing for a meal as her sister, Mary, sits at Jesus’ feet. Martha, indignant over Mary’s perceived laziness later learns of the more appropriate agenda when in the presence of Jesus. It is a story of love languages.

26 Martha loved through ACTS OF SERVICE as she prepared and Martha also loved through GIFT GIVING as she shared her food and her home. Mary loved through QUALITY TIME. Later, Mary anoints Jesus’ body with expensive perfume as she loves through PHYSICAL TOUCH, “Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them with her hair,” (John 12:3a.) And it is Martha who runs to greet Jesus when Jesus comes again to her village but this time to raise Lazarus from the dead. Martha loves through incredible WORDS OF AFFIRMATION of who Christ is, “Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one coming into the world,” (John 11:27.) Yes, the love languages are Biblical. Love is something we experience. It is something we feel. It is also something we do. It is something we show. There are many creative ways to articulate love. Too often, we neglect to show love. Opportunities are missed, or neglected, or even ignored. This is the point in which relationships struggle and doubts fester. Why not set goals for our loving? Why not plan loving? Why not prepare for it, schedule it, be intentional with it and be accountable for it? This is the definition of kindness, love in action. This is how kindness is realized, when love becomes a verb. This is how kindness is offered, through creative love languages.

This is too important to ever forget. Kindness is love as a verb. Kindness is the Fruit from the Holy Spirit that God showers on people who comprehend who they are as a child of God and how they are called to live in this world.

You were born to experience kindness and to offer kindness to a potentially mean world. May kindness be a goal you set for today, a plan you put in place and hold yourself accountable. May kindness be intended and not avoided or missed. Today, more than any other day, choose kindness as your demeanor. Share kindness, repeatedly and enthusiastically. Choose random victims of your love in action, kindness, through creative love language. And then pray. . . “God, who blessed me with people that I love, help me to be a blessing in their lives.” Imagine what God can do with a prayer like that! May this string around your finger elicit a breath prayer every time you see it. May your prayer remind you that kindness is a Fruit of the Holy Spirit. It is yours to seek, experience and share. Be challenged. And then be ready to be blessed by kindness. Tie a string around your fifth finger and may it remind you of the challenge to offer kindness to everyone you experience.

! Choose a breath prayer and memorize. Here are three examples for your consideration:

a. “Holy Spirit, fill me with kindness. Use me to inspire kindness.” b. “May the seed of kindness in me, bear Fruit of kindness around me.”

27 c. “As I rest in the Holy Spirit, kindness rests in me.”

Share with your prayer partner today which prayer you chose and recite it for memory.

May this spiritual discipline today, bring you closer to God and closer to the person God hopes you will become.

Use this page to reflect, journal, pray.

28 Spiritual Discipline ~ Tuesday, June 20th

1. Write the name of today’s prayer partner: ______. 2. Introduce yourselves to each other, a full minute for both of you. 3. Express your highs and lows of the last 24 hours. 4. Funny topics: The coolest thing I have been accused of doing but didn’t do. Which is a bigger deal, to win an Olympic Gold Medal or an Academy Award? 5. Faith topics: Describe what evil does and does not look like. What is the most evil thing you have ever experienced? (Don’t forget to include things like prejudice, bullying, mean pranks, stealing, etc.) 6. What were the Fruits of the previous five days: ______, ______, ______, ______and ______. Describe the success of your attempt at the spiritual discipline associated with yesterday’s finger. 7. Recite previous memorized scripture to each other, I John 4:7-8, Habakkuk 3:18, Philippians 4:7, Colossians 1:11a, I John 3:18 8. Scripture: Genesis 1:27,31 ______Memorize

Fruit 6 ~ Goodness

First Shut out all of the distractions, external & internal.

Consider that God is with you, anointing you with the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the presence of God in your life...... providing, encouraging, sustaining and loving. When you receive the Holy Spirit into your life, Fruit will appear in you. Breathe slowly. Focus on your own spirit. Rest your eyes and relax for a minute before you read on.

Second Be reminded, you are not alone. God is here. Take it in. It's not a question of goosebumps or tingly feelings. It's a question of faith; believe, when there is no evidence. Believe. You are not alone.

“Jesus said, ‘The first is, Hear, O Israel; the Lord our God, the Lord is one; you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:29-30

These verses request something of you. How are you doing at meeting those demands? How is your loving? ______

Seek God's mercy for insufficient loving of God, neighbor and self. Pray. . . God has plans for your spiritual relationship. If you seek God, you will gain the strength you need to succeed at overt, deep, sustaining love.

Third Love God.

“But, as it is written, ‘What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the human heart conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him’” I Corinthians 2:9

Reflect. Take a moment, reevaluate your current relationship with God. Write and offer a prayer, expressing your desire to love God more completely. . ______

. . .Next, as you open your heart to worship God, praise your creator. Start by naming it, claiming it, owning it. God is worthy of adoration. With every inhale draw in God's goodness and with every exhale dispel doubt and negativity. As you love God, receive God’s goodness that comes from the Holy Spirit.

Fourth Love your neighbor.

“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35

30 Reflect. Who is God calling you to love? to forgive? to reach out to? to minister to? ______Offer a prayer, seeking God's perspective on the quality of your loving. . .

. . .Next, open your heart to receive the love of wonderful people in your life. Start by naming them, claiming their love, owning their love, accepting their love. With every inhale draw in the love of people around you and exhale any disappoint of feeling unloved. As you prepare to love others enthusiastically, receive God’s goodness that comes from the Holy Spirit.

Fifth Love yourself.

“Thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel; Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. You are precious in my sight, and honored, and I love you.” Isaiah 43:1, 4a

Reflect. God loves you so much, whether or not you acknowledge it. God sent his son, Jesus Christ, to prove that love to you. Nothing can separate you from that love. Be aware that you are worthy of God's love. God created you! And said, “this is good.” Love on yourself. Start by naming it, claiming it, owning it, accepting it. Write and offer a prayer, expressing gratitude for your gifts, talents and blessings. . ______

. . .Next, open your heart to the reality that you are perfect, absolutely perfect. You are loved by God, worthy of love and equipped to love. With every inhale recognize how blessed you are, your gifts, your talents, your capacity to love. With every exhale dispel every doubt and insecurity that robs you of peace. God created you and called it good, receive God’s goodness that comes from the Holy Spirit.

31 Sixth Open your heart and feel the power of God's love in your life. You are truly loved. You are not alone. God is with you, and God is going to support you. Feel it and believe it. Bathe in the Holy Spirit as you bathe in the light and warmth of the candle. Be challenged this day, to be a reflection of goodness. May all who see you today experience the goodness within you.

Consider how this centering moment can influence the rest of your day. ______

This is too important to ever forget. God is good. And God created you and you are good. God is calling you to share your goodness with all of the rest of creation. Goodness is born in love. Goodness exists because of love. Goodness is revealed through love.

The manifestations of goodness are numerous and only limited by your creativity. Be inspired. What good can you do today? What goodness can you share? Goodness may be realized in the way you speak to others today. Goodness may be witnessed in the extra effort you provide so that someone else, someone who maybe hurting or broken, will feel God’s goodness through you. Goodness may be strong, loud, and vibrant as you scream against injustice. Goodness may be quiet, felt in a reassuring touch or pleasant smile. Goodness may be uncomfortable as you defend a wounded outcast but goodness is always beautiful. God created and it was good. God creates and it is good. Through our creation we are given the possibility of reflecting the image of God’s goodness. Regardless how selfishness strives to overshadow good, reach for the good deep within you from God. You were born to experience goodness and offer goodness to a world where evil thrives. Today, more than any other day, choose goodness as your demeanor. Share goodness, repeatedly and enthusiastically. May this string around your finger elicit a breath prayer every time you see it. May your prayer remind you that goodness is a Fruit of the Holy Spirit. It is yours to seek, experience and share. Be challenged. And then be ready to be blessed by goodness. Tie a string around your sixth finger and may it remind you of the power of goodness.

! Choose a breath prayer and memorize. Here are three examples for your consideration:

32 a. “Holy Spirit, fill me with goodness. Use me to inspire goodness.” b. “May the seed of goodness in me, bear Fruit of goodness around me.” c. “As I rest in the Holy Spirit, goodness rests in me.”

Share with your prayer partner today which prayer you chose and recite it for memory.

May this spiritual discipline today, bring you closer to God and closer to the person God hopes you will become.

Use this space to reflect, journal, pray.

33 Use this page to reflect, journal, pray.

34 Spiritual Discipline ~ Wednesday, June 21st

1. Write the name of today’s prayer partner: ______. 2. Introduce yourselves to each other, a full minute for both of you. 3. Express your highs and lows of the last 24 hours. 4. Funny topics: Who within your social network exemplifies drama? What sin is so popular that no-one you know considers it a sin? 5. Faith topics: Is gentleness popular? For example, can you name a fictional character or someone you know personally who exemplified gentleness? What is the opposite of gentleness and who best fits that description within your extended family? 6. What were the Fruits of the previous six days: ______, ______, ______, ______, ______and ______. Describe the success of your attempt at the spiritual discipline associated with yesterday’s finger. 7. Recite previous memorized scripture to each other, I John 4:7-8, Habakkuk 3:18, Philippians 4:7, Colossians 1:11a, I John 3:18, Genesis 1:27,31 8. Scripture: Philippians 4:4-5______Memorize

Fruit 7 ~ Gentleness

Working with youth is a trip, a trial “Carter, it seems like you and your and a blessing; always eventful and never girlfriend are on a communication merry-go- boring. One evening after youth choir round. You guys are not alone. Many, many rehearsal, Carter, (a senior in high school) couples just like you find themselves on the came up to me and asked for a private same playground. I imagine it goes like this: conversation. It was easy to say yes. Carter you say something, she corrects it and was a fine young man and still is. I sat down articulates her perspective, you justify your in my office as Carter plopped into the thoughts with a bit of history of how you wingback chair and jumped into his remember the past and she responds with dilemma. her interpretation. Volume increases. “Lindsey and I have been dating for Intensity grows as each of you try to win. over a year. I really love her and we The merry-go-round spins faster and faster. normally get along great. But, sometimes, Someone better figure out how to drag a foot well, maybe a lot, we get into fights over the on the ground and slow the thing down. If stupidest stuff. They never end well and they not, someone’s getting nauseous or are driving us apart. What do I do?” someone’s getting hurt and thrown off and Knowing Carter and Lindsey as I do, that person is likely to walk away.” I made some broad assumptions.

35 Carter followed my metaphor and “That’s cool, Carter. You dragged saw their relationship reflected in the silly your foot! Is that why you called me?” story. “So, how do I drag my foot?” “Not exactly. You didn’t tell Lindsey “The next time you and Lindsey find the rules! Will you explain this to her?” yourselves jumping on the merry-go-round, “Carter, its midnight! Bring Lindsey multi-task. Listen to what she is saying as by tomorrow after school and we’ll you ask yourself this question: ‘What is continue. Is that ok?” Lindsey feeling right now?’ Carter, while Still on the phone but talking to spinning on this communication nightmare, Lindsey, “you free tomorrow afternoon? imagine what emotions are going on inside Yup, we’ll be there.” your hearts? Then, when the time is right, Carter and Lindsey showed the next gently, and with a soft countenance, tell day holding hands. Carter moved the chairs Lindsey how you imagine she is feeling in so they could sit side-by-side. We continued that very moment. You are not allowed to to talk about the nature of communicating. rehearse any history on what brought you to Once I brought Lindsey up to speed I this conclusion. You can only share what, continued to describe communication merry- not why, no history, no events, no proof, no go-rounds. rationale. “People find themselves in circular “Too often, we argue about things traps of communication in all kinds of which have no ultimate significance. We different ways for all kinds of different often fight about the debris of what happens reasons. Sometimes, couples fall into the in life and not how that event makes us feel trap of silent merry-go-rounds, or deep inside. What really matters? The status procrastinated conversations due to conflict of the heart is where the important avoidance. Sometimes, couples are unequal conversations take place.” in the communication tactics and the merry- Carter, not sure it would work, go-round wobbles due to greater weight on agreed to give it a try. Then both of us one side over another. All too often, couples walked out of the church together and fight unfairly, bringing wounds from separated in our different vehicles; Carter previous falls on the playground. Some into his rugged F150 and I dropped into my people even bring weapons onboard and 25 year old. . .classic? fight unfairly or bring recruits to tag team At midnight, the phone rang with against their partner.” Carter on the line. “It seems to me that the greatest way “You asleep?” to drag your foot when the spinning is “Carter, I’m up. Is everything ok?” winning is through shared empathy. When “Yeah, great. Listen, Lindsey and I true, deep empathy is sought a beautiful were kind of fighting and I tried the thing transition occurs. When people make a you suggested. I guessed that she felt conscious effort to step into the shoes of unheard and that maybe she felt like she their partner, everything changes. Partners wasn’t a priority in my life. I was pretty feel heard, known, understood, and cool. I mean, at least we stopped bickering perceived. When people feel these things, and talked about our relationship.” verbal swords lose their power, volumes diminish, and the Holy Spirit has the

36 opportunity to work through gentleness. “Gentleness was exemplified in Until this moment, gentleness has not had Christ who dealt with sinners in the midst of room to create understanding, healing, and their sin with empathy and understanding. eventual peace.” And through his gentleness, he changed “Few, in today’s culture, truly value hearts and lives, including mine.” gentleness. Gentleness is not a sign of “Carter, Lindsey, you have been meekness or weakness. It is quite the given a gift in the relationship seated beside opposite. Gentleness comes through soft you. Honor that gift through mutual spoken strength that has nothing to prove empathy and allow gentleness to bless your or convince. It is neither masculine nor relationship.” feminine. It is spiritual. Gentleness has the amazing power to embrace through understanding even if agreement is not an option.”

This is too important to ever forget. Gentleness is born out of empathy and has the power to bring clarity to the places of chaos.

Life is complicated sometimes. But complicated does not have to mean louder to overpower softer voices. Complicated issues do not have to lead to distorting facts to prove a point. There do not always have to be winners and losers. The complex can be dealt with gently, and through gentleness the complex has the greatest opportunity to find resolution. What are the people around you feeling? And then be reminded of the power of gentleness. Regardless how chaos strives to overshadow gentleness, reach for gentleness deep within you from God. You were born to experience gentleness and offer gentleness to a harsh world. Today, more than any other day, choose gentleness as your demeanor. Share gentleness, repeatedly and enthusiastically. With all you encounter, empathize, imagine how others feel, then offer a gentle word of understanding. May this string around your finger elicit a breath prayer every time you see it. May your prayer remind you that gentleness is a Fruit of the Holy Spirit. It is yours to seek, experience and share. Be challenged. And then be ready to be blessed by gentleness. Tie a string around your seventh finger and may it remind you use empathy to inspire gentleness.

! Choose a breath prayer and memorize. Here are three examples for your consideration: a. “Holy Spirit, fill me with gentleness. Use me to inspire gentleness.” b. “May the seed of gentleness in me, bear Fruit of gentleness around me.” c. “As I rest in the Holy Spirit, gentleness rests in me.” Share with your prayer partner today which prayer you chose and recite it for memory.

37 Repeat this prayer to yourself every time you glance at the string around your finger. Say it. . .maybe 20 times today. Mean it when you say it at least 5 times. Change what you are doing to reflect this prayer at least once, today.

May this spiritual discipline today, bring you closer to God and closer to the person God hopes you will become.

Use this space to reflect, journal, pray.

38 Spiritual Discipline ~ Thursday, June 22nd

1. Write the name of today’s prayer partner: ______. 2. Introduce yourselves to each other, a full minute for both of you. 3. Express your highs and lows of the last 24 hours. 4. Funny topics: Is cheating on a test ok? Expected? Fair? Have you let someone cheat off you just to be liked? 5. Faith topics: When has your faith been the strongest? Weakest? Are you more interested in a career that is financially rewarding or emotionally rewarding? Do you think being faithful can keep you from being successful in the rest of life? 6. What were the Fruits of the previous seven days: ______, ______, ______, ______, ______, ______and ______. Describe the success of your attempt at the spiritual discipline associated with yesterday’s finger. 7. Recite previous memorized scripture to each other: I John 4:7-8, Habakkuk 3:18, Philippians 4:7, Colossians 1:11a, I John 3:18, Genesis 1:27,31, Philippians 4:5 8. Scripture: Read Matthew 14:22-33. Write and memorize verse 31. ______

Fruit 8 ~ Faithfulness

I finally took the trip I had been As we stood at the banks of sea, we anticipating since childhood. My wife, imagined the disciples fishing while Jesus Lynda, and I went to the Holy Land. It was spoke to them. But the place, the moment, absolutely incredible. To see places of the event that filled my chest with grace, Biblical significance was truly inspirational. was a trip on a boat on the Sea of Galilee. It was heartbreaking, witnessing the current We set sail with our group of tourists cultural conflict. Many of the sites along our who had become friends through pilgrimage. journey were fascinating and disappointing It was a beautiful day. The water was all at the same time. Places of simple graceful as it met the ascending hills all beginnings were so over-run with tourist around its banks. The boat glided silently chaos that one could not even imagine the and the chaos of humanity slipped away. original setting. Regardless, my mind was The shoreline was undisturbed and I could continually stretched and my eyes were easily imagine Jesus along a hillside offering opened and my Biblical appreciation grew. the sermon on the mount. I visualized a The places that touched my heart, crowd of people, hungry for food and beyond all others, were the places of natural hungry to hear his Word, I found myself beauty. Lynda and I were deeply moved as attempting to become a part of the story. I we remembered our baptism in the Jordan.

39 longed to be a participant. I was in the right I imagine Peter was full of crazy place, only separated by time. emotions: the rush of adrenaline and rising As if God knew of my longing, the fear, the desire to trust Christ while fighting clouds literally rolled in, the wind increased, the panic of drowning. I imagine a moment the temperature dropped and a light of realization when he stepped beyond afternoon rain began to fall. security and found an unexplainable I could see Jesus dismissing the foothold on the top of the water. I sense crowds, sending the disciples ahead on the Peter holding his breath, maybe because he very boat I sailed. And the Bible, once was afraid or maybe because he was excited. again, put me in the center and begged me to And I imagine that just when he realized that consider who I am and who I want to be. what Christ had asked was impossible, when I imagine there is no shelter on the a moment of doubt began to creep into his boat but blatant exposure to the elements. I soul that his trust began to fail that his feet imagine it is loud, chaotic and nerve began to lower. I imagine his eyes grew in wracking. I bet the visibility is limited. I size, his heart raced and his arms reached to imagine clothing is soaked from waves Christ. And Jesus pulled him close, lifted licking over the sides and heavy garments him up, and wrapped his arms around him. are cumbersome or discarded. I imagine I bet there were those in the boat there is a lot of chaos in the air. How far are who missed the whole thing. Some saw, but we from shore? Too close to rocks and we could not believe their eyes. Some destroy the boat. Too far and peril if the boat witnessed, believed and grew in hunger to capsized. I imagine there is fear, doubt, trust more in Christ than in human conflict and confusion among the disciples. I limitation. imagine some folks keep their head and As I stood at the side of the boat, some folks lose their cool. leaning on the rail, my sacred imaging And then Jesus approaches the boat, brought me to my metaphorical knees. Once walking on the water completely at peace. I again, I stood in my 21th Century body and I imagine some see him clearly, easily and contemplated a Biblical story in my quickly. Some recognize the figure to be contemporary life. Christ. I imagine some see a ghost. And I I imagine the storms of life rage imagine some never see anything at all. And around. But these are not definable storms. then, in the midst of noise, confusion, doubt Even though there are many of us in the and fear, Jesus speaks. I imagine some hear same boat, the storm manifests itself him and others do not. And in the midst of differently for each. For some, the storm has the improbable, walking on the water, never been stronger, the waves have never without another word spoken, Jesus suggests been higher and some have never been more the impossible. His mere presence on the afraid. For some, we are blind to the storm. water seemingly asks for the unfeasible. It The security of the boat lulls us into a false suggests the impractical, the ludicrous, the sense of peace. There are people drowning ridiculous, and the dangerous. And one just beyond our hull and we don’t hear the heeds the call, begs to join Jesus and boldly cries and fail to even throw a life preserver. steps over the side of the boat, risking Some of us have come to love the storm, everything while trusting completely. trust it, bathe in it, and seek it. These are the

40 storms of distraction: human prosperity, achieved among us. Among humanity, in human achievement, and human affirmation. regards to Christ, some miss the whole Some of us have lost ourselves in those thing. Some will see but not believe their storms and no longer seek shelter from their eyes. Some will see an apparition. uncompromising demands. Thankfully, some see Christ for who he is, And yet Jesus stands in the midst of step out in faith and trust more in Christ the storm, his mere presence silently calling than human limitation and faith, shear the faithful. Some will see. Others will not. faith will prove to be a miracle. And then in the midst of noise, confusion, doubt and fear, Jesus speaks of peace. I Christ is there, just beyond the security of imagine some hear him and others do not. human awareness. Do you see? And he seemingly asks for the impossible. Christ is calling, amidst the loud chaos of His mere presence suggests the impractical, raging storms. Do you hear? the ludicrous, the ridiculous, and the Christ’s presence suggests the impractical, dangerous. Few will answer and take the the ludicrous, step beyond human reason to experience the ridiculous, divine transformation. And yet one may the dangerous. heed and boldly step over the side of the Are you ready to respond? boat, risking everything while trusting Christ is ready to provide a miracle of faith. completely. Are you ready to be one? And through this act of human faith in a loving Christ, miracles of faith are

This is too important to ever forget. Faith is yours to claim. You may look beyond your personal boat, see Christ, and have proof in your heart; however, you will never be able to prove Christ to anyone who does not want to see. When you claim faith as your own, God has the opportunity to encourage your spiritual growth through the power of the Holy Spirit revealed in a harvest of Spiritual Fruit.

You were born and given the free will to choose faithfulness and to offer faith to a doubting world. As you stand on your faith, oh get ready. God may call you to something that may seem impractical and ludicrous. Umm, hold on, you are given all the courage you will need to step over, step up, step out and step beyond your human limitation to become divinely transformed. Sooooo, get excited, miracles of faith are challenging and never boring! Today, more than any other day, choose faithfulness as your demeanor. Boldly claim faith deep in your heart where doubt claimed before. Share faith, repeatedly and enthusiastically. May this string around your finger elicit a breath prayer every time you see it. May your prayer remind you that faith is a Fruit of the Holy Spirit. It is yours to seek, experience and share. Be challenged. And then be ready to be blessed by faithfulness. Tie a string around your eighth finger and may it remind you to claim faith, own faith, and grow in confidence of who God is and who God has called you to be.

41 ! Choose a breath prayer and memorize. Here are three examples for your consideration:

a. “Holy Spirit, fill me with faith. Use me to inspire faithfulness.” b. “May the seed of faith in me, bear Fruit of faithfulness around me.” c. “As I rest in the Holy Spirit, faith rests in me.”

Share with your prayer partner today which prayer you chose and recite it for memory.

May this spiritual discipline today, bring you closer to God and closer to the person God hopes you will become.

Use this space to reflect, journal, pray.

42 Spiritual Discipline ~ Friday, June 23rd

1. Write the name of today’s prayer partner: ______. 2. Introduce yourselves to each other, a full minute for both of you. 3. Express your highs and lows of the last 24 hours. 4. Funny topics: Proudest moment ever? Ugliest moment ever? (behavior not looks.) 5. Faith topic: Does our culture glorify feeling “out of control” or those who appear “in control?” If you have the courage, name the place(s) in which you are out of control. 6. What were the Fruits of the previous eight days: ______, ______, ______, ______, ______, ______, ______and ______. Describe the success of your attempt at the spiritual discipline associated with yesterday’s finger. 7. Recite previous memorized scripture to each other, I John 4:7-8, Habakkuk 3:18, Philippians 4:7, Colossians 1:11a, I John 3:18, Genesis 1:27,31, Philippians 4:5, Matthew 14:31 8. Scripture: Titus 2:6 ______Memorize

Fruit 9 ~ Self-Control

Narrator: As a minister worked in his church a roof over his head. I can’t get through to office, there is an unexpected knock at the him. door. There were no scheduled appointments on the calendar. A tall man enters with his Narrator: Dad extends a business card to the son. The son was equally tall but half the pastor with a brief instruction. weight. Short greetings are accompanied by brief handshakes. The dad directs his son in Dad: Call me when your done and I’ll pick front of the chair opposite a curious minister him up. and with a firm hand on his son’s shoulder he pushes the kid into the seat. Narrator: It was obvious that the kid wanted to be anywhere in the whole world except Dad: My son does not value respect. He the office of a minister. Nearly every muscle thinks he knows everything and he won’t in his body was tense, even in his nearly listen to me. As I was taking him to baseball reclining posture in the wingback chair. The practice we argued in the car And before he minister was at a loss for words. How do steps on the field, he puffs up his chest and you talk with someone who doesn’t want to gets in my face! I grabbed his scrawny arm, hear you speak? What do you say? How do threw his glove in the trunk and brought him you connect? Eye contact was out of the here. See if you can fix him before he loses

43 question. The pastor decided to tiptoe into the flood of hostility in the young man. Narrator: The young man eyes looked up, surprised. He was not expecting the pastor to Pastor: So, what happened? (pause) go on the offensive, but it confirmed his What did you and your father fight about? predetermined negative impression of clergy (pause) I mean, did you guys get into it, and the church, full of judgement and physically? Or just yell at each other? condemnation.

Kid: (Angrily.) Look! My dad yells. I take it. Kid: You have no idea what goes on in that Someday I’ll be out of his house and I won’t house! have to take it anymore. Until then, I have Pastor: Neither do you! nothing to hear from him and nothing to say. Kid: I live there! I hear that crap every day. Pastor: What set everything off? (Pause) What made your dad lose his mind? Did you Pastor: What crap? steal the car? Kill the cat? Tape a little brother to the ceiling? (Long pause.) Did Kid: (pause) It doesn’t matter. We are never you fail a geometry quiz, cut holes in his suit going to speak to each other anyway. pockets, eat all the Oreos? Pastor: Listen, son, I dare you to vomit Narrator: There were no responses either diary. verbal or physical. Kid: Huh? Pastor: We are both wasting our time here. It’s obvious you and your old man have Pastor: Vomit diary. Don’t try to look it up. I important stuff to discuss but I don’t see made it up. Just grab a piece of paper and how. . . spew out everything you are thinking and feeling about your relationship with your Kid: Look, I’m never speaking to him again. dad. What you see on the paper may surprise I have nothing to say. There is nothing to you. I think you have so much going on in hear. There is no discussion. your head that none of it makes sense anymore. Until you get it out of your head Narrator: Seeing that there was nothing to be and in front of your eyes I don’t think gained, the pastor decided to poke the bear, anything is going to change! so to speak. Kid: At least the last part is right. Nothing is Pastor: OK, I get it. You’re just another going to change. teenage kid who’s mad at his dad. If I had a nickel for every ticked off young man who Pastor: (pause) Change is never a big deal. sat in that chair. . .I bet you don’t even know Really. People don’t get it, but change, it’s why you’re mad! I bet you all full of piss the easy part. The hard part is the “want to.” and vinegar and you can’t tell me because Doing something different is not a big deal. you don’t even know! But wanting to do something different is a

44 huge deal. If you don’t want a change in the Narrator: After a few moments of silence relationship with your dad, it is certainly while the pastor read and wrote, he looked impossible. If you do want something up in the kid’s eyes. different...if you want it...then it can happen. No doubt. Pastor: Thanks. This shows a lot of thought Kid: Then I guess nothing is going to and effort. It’s cool you trust me with this change. Are we done here? personal stuff. I’m really sorry for the disappointment and heartache you and your Pastor: I guess we are, but let me know if dad have experienced. And I respect what you decide to give the vomit diary a try. I you’ve done here. Let me tell you why. Life would at least respect your effort to figure can seem so complicated, yet sometimes out what’s truly going on in your head and things boil down to something a great deal not just your imagination. simpler. We complicate it by adding Narrator: And that was all the youth needed irrelevant history and our own junk to it. as a reason to bolt. The young man left the Um, let me explain. As I read your thoughts, office. The pastor called the dad’s cell with all of these issues have the same foundation: the number from the business card and self-control. You have 10 examples of how apologized for not having a greater effect on you feel you show great self-control and 20 his son. examples of how your dad thinks you are out-of-control. Talking about these examples About 24 hours later, as the pastor worked in would start a fight for anybody but what if his office, there was an unexpected knock at you just talked about... the door. In enters the same young man from the day before, with cleats over his shoulder Kid: Look, I’m never talking to my dad. I ready for practice. Short greetings thought the point was to prove that our stuff accompany brief handshakes. As the is real and not made up in my head, not teenager plops himself in the wingback some attempt to force me to talk to him. chair, he thrusts a piece of paper on the table with the open palm of his hand. Pastor: Yeah, you’re right. Your stuff is real. Be honest. Are you out-of-control? Kid: There, vomit diary. Kid: No, I’m not. Well, maybe sometimes. I Pastor: Can I read it? just don’t think my dad and I agree on the same definition of self-control. He has no Kid: I didn’t write if for me. Go ahead. idea how crazy I could be. He says I don’t have an “off switch” and he has no idea how Pastor: Can I write on it? many times I’ve used it.

Kid: It’s not like I’m takin’ it home. Pastor: How do you define self-control?

Pastor: Cool, OK, let me check it out. Kid: Knowing when not to do or say something.

45 Pastor: Alright. Consider this crazy idea. Kid: Nice try Reverend. But talking with my Maybe the definition of self-control lies dad about anything is not my definition of somewhere between selfish and self-love. self-love.

Kid: You’re kidding, right? Pastor: I understand. But know this. I’m going to be praying for you. I’m praying that Pastor: Selfish behavior is stuff that provides you and your dad can find a way to change something for you, regardless of whether or the way you talk to each other. Cause... not is good for you. Selfish behavior usually change is not always a bid deal, the big deal, seeks attention, or instant gratification, or is the “want to.” Do you want things to avoids responsibility. Self-love seeks what is change? (Silence) Do you want it badly best for you. Procrastination is a perfect enough? Really, dude, what is more example of being selfish and the opposite of important in your life than relating with your self-love. Getting drunk or getting high is a dad? Holy cow this is so worth it! great example of selfish behavior and the opposite of self-love. Often, unnecessary Kid: Not gonna happen. He won’t listen. risk-taking is the hunt for selfish adrenaline and not stewardship of self-love. Pastor: He won’t listen if you don’t speak! Pornography, selfish, not self-love. People (Silence.) Well, thanks for sharing your who are out-of-control are often people who diary. It really helps me understand and misinterpret selfish behavior with self-love. center my prayers for you. It may seem complicated but it’s really pretty simple. Kid: We done here?

Kid: But what if we disagree about which is Pastor: I guess so. which? What if you think something is selfish and I think its self-love? Narrator: The kid left the office as the minister called the young man’s dad. Pastor: Great questions and that is at least a conversation worth having. So, are you Pastor: You can come pick up your son. He’s better at selfish than you are at self-love? really cool and he genuinely stepped up with some stuff I asked him to do. Will you do Kid: My dad would say I’m better at selfish. me a favor? Will you please take your son to I’m not sure what I’m better at. Sonic after baseball practice?

Pastor: What would happen, if after baseball * * * practice on Thursday, you and your dad went to Sonic? And what if you ordered Narrator: The pastor never saw the dad or your Oreo Blast and started a casual son again. They never spoke verbally. conversation about selfish vs self-love? It However, about a week later the pastor might really pay off in the. . . received a letter in the mail on the Dad’s stationary that matched his business card.

46 Dad: Reverend, I will never miss a Thursday trip to Sonic again. Maybe I, and my family, need to work on self-love. Thank you.

47 This is too important to ever forget. Self-control is a gift and a blessing. It is not a burden or bad medicine taken to avoid guilt. Self-control is not invented as a way to keep you from experiencing life fully. Through self-control, God helps humanity avoid things that cause hurt and pain. Self-control intersects with every aspect of life. Self-control is manifest in your tongue and the rest of your body. It can be found in how you spend your time, your money, and your energy. Self-control has power over your decisions. Having self-control is usually easy; it’s the “wanting to” that’s incredibly hard.

There are a myriad of ways that inevitably separate us from God. Self-control is the best way to avoid that sin of separation. Self-control empowers! Self-control is an act of love, realized through self-love AND loving others. Self-control is a gift one gives to one’s self. Self- control is a gift others receive from you as well. Regardless how selfishness strives to overshadow self-love, know that self-control is not out of your reach. No matter how many times you have lost the battle with self-control and given in to selfish habits, today is a new day! Perhaps, you can stand stronger on your convictions as you stand on self-love as your guiding purpose. You were born to experience self-control and offer self-control to an out-of-control world. Today, more than any other day, choose self-control as your demeanor. Avoid actions motivated by selfish pursuits. Choose self-control when your actions threaten to create harm. Share self-control, repeatedly and enthusiastically. May this string around your finger elicit a breath prayer every time you see it. May your prayer remind you that self-control is a Fruit of the Holy Spirit. It is yours to seek, experience, and share. Be challenged. And then be ready to be blessed by self-control. Tie a string around your ninth finger and may it remind you of the power of self-control.

! Choose a breath prayer and memorize. Here are three examples for your consideration:

a. “Holy Spirit, fill me with self-love. Use me to inspire self-control.” b. “May the seed of self-love in me, bear Fruit of self-control around me.” c. “As I rest in the Holy Spirit, self-control rests in me.”

Share with your prayer partner today which prayer you chose and recite it for memory.

48 May this spiritual discipline today, bring you closer to God and closer to the person God hopes you will become.

Use this page to reflect, journal, pray.

49 Spiritual Discipline ~ Saturday, June 24th 1. Write the name of today’s prayer partner: ______. 2. Introduce yourselves to each other, a full minute for both of you. 3. Express your highs and lows of the last 24 hours. 4. Funny topics: Favorite tour song? Scripture? Least favorite tour choreography? Meal this week? 5. Faith topics: Perhaps you have never thought of yourself as holy. It’s about time. What is the biggest hurdle you face to seeing yourself as holy? Who helps, and who hurts your journey to holiness? What can you do to help this journey continue after we get off the bus today? 6. What were the Fruits of the previous nine days: ______, ______, ______, ______, ______, ______, ______, ______and ______. Describe the success of your attempt at the spiritual discipline associated with yesterday’s finger. 9. Recite previous memorized scripture to each other, I John 4:7-8, Habakkuk 3:18, Philippians 4:7, Colossians 1:11a, I John 3:18, Genesis 1:27,31, Philippians 4:5, Matthew 14:31, Titus 2:6 7. Scripture: Read Galatians 5:16-26. Write and memorize verses 22-23 ______already memorized! 10 ~ Holiness

For nine days, you have bathed in the Holy Spirit. For nine days, you have practiced a spiritual discipline which focuses your life on Fruit, harvested in YOU, when the Holy Spirit is a daily part of your agenda. All week long, the Fruit has not been the goal. Prayerful seeking of the Holy Spirit has been the goal, and the Fruit has been a beautiful consequence. When you step back and examine your Spiritual Orchard, you will see that the combination of Spiritual Fruit has led to holiness. This is the journey you were born to take, every day of your life, not to be neglected, procrastinated, or ignored. This holy life is the life your creator designed for you and sent the Holy Spirit to help you along this journey.

Begin with Scripture. “Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord.” Hebrews 12:14.

(Use your imagination. Place yourself in front of mirror.)

What location comes to mind when you think of a holy place? Are there physical spaces in your life which you recognize as sacred ground? ______

50 The Bible is full of sacred sites where God was evident and humanity claimed that ground to holy, set aside, sacred and revered. In these places men sometimes took off their shoes, built an altar or laid an Ebenezer stone. What makes a place holy today? Are our modern sanctuaries sacred places? What makes them so? When a person stands outdoors, in midst of nature, in front of amazing beauty and senses the power of the Creator, what about that place is transformed into something holy? ______

God is everywhere. God is available in every location. A place is not holy because God is uniquely there. A place is holy because people become uniquely aware of God.

What makes a marriage holy? ______Is it because God chooses to uniquely bless one marriage over another? A marriage is only a marriage, and not a Covenant, unless the couple is uniquely aware of the role God plays in their marriage. This is when a marriage becomes holy.

What makes a home holy? What makes a family holy? ______Is it because God uniquely showers blessings on one particular family over another? Or is a family holy because each member is uniquely aware of God’s place in the home, around the dinner table, in the family room, when they rest at night, and when they begin the day?

What makes a person holy? ______Is holiness something God chooses for us, or something we choose for God? How is holiness sought? How is holiness achieved? Will holiness be recognized as something we see in ourselves? Will holiness be seen by others when they experience us?

Holiness is sought by being uniquely aware of God. When we are motivated to seek God, pursue God’s perceptive on our loving, and be God’s love manifest within us, then we will experience holiness within us. When God’s love consumes us and we want nothing more than to love, when love overwhelms us and alters our agendas to provide love, and when we make sacrifices to enhance love, then we will be made holy by love and experience sanctification, (growing in holiness,) because of love. This is when we humbly rest in the presence of the Holy Spirit and the Fruits from this relationship blossom, flourish, and grow. Then all will see evidence of these Fruits in us and others may be touched and inspired to find these Fruits for themselves.

51 Look in that imaginary mirror. See past the physical attributes that define your face. See past the labels you wear at school or work. Look beyond the things that cause worry. For a moment, drop your disappointments and regrets. And just look deeply into the mirror’s reflection of your eyes and see God’s creation. Claim every ounce of your being to be a holy resting place for God’s anointing Spirit. Allow God’s grace to fill you up. May love overwhelm you, convict you and inspire you to grow in sanctified love. This is too important to ever forget. You are perfect for this. You are not too young. You are not too old. You are not too smart. You are not too busy. You are uniquely blessed. You are wonderfully equipped. You are empowered, enabled and encouraged by God. You are given power through the Holy Spirit to harvest the nine Fruits that bring meaning to life and define holiness. You were born to experience holiness and to offer holiness to a secular world. Today, more than any other day, choose holiness as your demeanor. Bathe yourself in the Holy Spirit, and through the power of the Holy Spirit receive the nine Fruits revealed in holiness. Share holiness, repeatedly and enthusiastically. Later, you will be given scissors to cut the nine strings from your fingers. You will replace it with nine new strings in the same colors, which you are invited to create a Fruit bracelet. Begin by taking three strings of any color, tie a small knot as close to one end as your can and then braid these three strings. When finished, tie off the open end. Pick up three different strings and do the same. When finished, grab the last three strings and create a third braid. The final step is to take the three braids (each with three strings) and braid into one bracelet. This multi-colored wrist bracelet now serves as your reminder for the nine Fruit. Woven together, they represent the Holy Spirit path to holiness. Every time you see your wrist, may you remain committed to pray. May your prayer remind you that holiness is marked by being uniquely aware of God’s role in your life. It becomes evident as you receive the Fruit of the Holy Spirit. Holiness is yours to seek, experience and share. Be challenged. And then be ready to be blessed.

! Choose a breath prayer and memorize. Here are three examples for your consideration:

a. “Holy Spirit, fill me with holiness. Use me to inspire holiness.” b. “May the seed of holiness in me, bear Fruit of holiness around me.” c. “As I rest in the Holy Spirit, holiness rests in me.”

Share with your prayer partner today which prayer you chose and recite it for memory.

Repeat this prayer to yourself every time you glance at the string around your finger. Say it. . .maybe 20 times today.

52 Mean it when you say it at least 5 times. Change what you are doing to reflect this prayer at least once, today.

May this spiritual discipline today, bring you closer to God and closer to the person God hopes you will become.

! You have completed a Spiritual Discipline on the Fruit of the Spirit. But know that this is a journey which is never complete, but a new way of living. By constant focus and attention, with the power of the Holy Spirit, you have begun the path to holiness. Celebrate your journey! Thank the Lord for what you have learned about yourself. And re-commit to live each day from now on with that same dedication, and be ready, God has a way of pouring extreme blessing upon those who yearn for a holy life.

Consider studying for the Scripture Quiz later today! Love ~ I John 4:7-8 Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love.

Joy ~ Habakkuk 3:18 Yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will exult in the God of my salvation.

Peace: ~ Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Patience ~ Colossians 1:11a May you be made strong with all the strength that comes from his glorious power, and may you be prepared to endure everything with patience.

Kindness ~ I John 3:18 Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.

Goodness ~ Genesis 1: 27, 31 God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. 31 God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good.

53 Gentleness ~ Philippians 4:5 Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near.

Self-Control ~ Titus 2:6 Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled.

Holiness ~ Galatians 5:22-23a By contrast, the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.