“It’s pot luck, but weed let him in. Harry should apply to atone for his elder brother’s mistakes” Ð PAGE 10

Issue 551 20p where sold

Pulp Proclaim Varsity Rugby Jarvis Cocker reviewed in Cambridge slaughtered by Cambridge on PAGE 32 The Other Place on PAGE 40

The Cambridge student newspaper 18 January 2002 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk HARRY HEADING HERE Puffing Prince set to apply

chests. Dr Ian McDonald, EXCLUSIVE Trinity Admissions Tutor, said “I know nothing whatsoever by Julian Blake about Prince Harry’s plans for what he might do after leaving It has been rumoured that school.” St James’ Palace were Prince Harry is applying to also keeping quiet, with a Cambridge. The Prince, who is spokesperson claiming: “It’s currently studying A-levels, is similar to when Prince William said to have been spotted look- was this age. There was so ing around Trinity College dur- much speculation. Nothing is ing the Christmas break, out- ever sealed and finished until side term time to ensure priva- he decides. It’s far too early to cy. A Trinity second year, who say – it’s quite a way off.” wished not to be named, told It seems the Prince should fit Varsity “We were at a dinner in well here. According to party last night and it came out Varsity’s recent survey, over then: Prince Harry is now con- 50% of Cambridge students sidering applying to Trinity.” have tried cannabis and two- However, Trinity are keen to thirds would see it legalised. Photo: PA keep their cards close to their • Continued on page 2

Interview 16 ¥ Science 17 ¥ Fashion 23 ¥ Outlook 25 ¥ Theatre 28 ¥ Film 30 ¥ Music 32 ¥ Literature 36 ¥ Sport 40 18 January 2002 2 NEWS www.varsity.cam.ac.uk News in brief Happy B’day Hawking Cemetery been awarded a first class honours Oly Duff degree at University College, Oxford. The Cambridge American Cemetery He finished his PhD against the odds and Memorial has been granted listed Stephen Hawking last week celebrated to become a Fellow at Gonville and status. The three-and-a-half-acre site is his 60th birthday in Cambridge with a Caius College. Since 1979 he has held one of 14 permanent American World Symposium at the Centre for the post of Lucasian Professor of War II military memorials on foreign Mathematical Sciences. A number of Mathematics. soils, but the only one in England. leading scientists spoke, including the Alongside his many publications, The cemetery has been granted Grade Astronomer Royal, Sir Martin Rees, Hawking, now a multi-millionaire, II status, meaning that any planning Sir Roger Penrose and Professor has had three best-selling popular projects that might affect it will be Hawking himself. books published, twelve honorary subject to closer scrutiny than normal. Hawking told an audience of 200 degrees, was awarded the CBE in It was set up as a temporary military paying guests, including U2 guitarist 1982 and became a Companion of cemetery on land donated by Trinity The Edge, that there is nothing like Honour in 1989. In addition to being College, and dedicated in July 1956. discovering something that no one the recipient of many other awards The site features 3,811 graves fanning knew before. “I will not compare it to and prizes, he has also achieved a pop- out like spokes on a wheel from a cen- sex – it lasts longer.” ular status unparalleled by other scien- tral flagpole flying the Stars and “It has been a glorious time to be tists with appearances on Star Trek and Stripes. The 500 foot Wall of alive and doing research in theoretical The Simpsons. Remembrance has 5126 names of physics. I am happy if I have made a All of this is remarkable for Britain’s those missing in action, including jazz small contribution. I want to share my longest surviving motor neurone dis- band leader Glenn Miller and Joseph excitement and enthusiasm.” ease sufferer – a man who was given P. Kennedy, the eldest brother of Professor Ian Halliday, Chief little more than two years to live after American President John F Kennedy. Executive Officer of the Particle being diagnosed with the crippling Physics and Astronomy Research muscle-wasting condition at the age of Council (PPARC), the UK’s strategic 22. The rare form of the disease from Childcare science investment agency, paid trib- which Professor Hawking suffers atro- ute to Hawking’s achievements. phies the central nervous system and The Joint Committee on Childcare “Stephen is a world ambassador for leads to muscle wasting, while leaving for Students are hosting an informa- science. His achievements have gone the brain unaffected. Despite the body tion event for all student parents on far beyond the scientific community. paralysis and the loss of his voice, Saturday, 19 January 2002, from He has brought the excitement of fun- Hawking has gone on to be regarded 2.30pm – 5.00pm, in the Long Room damental physics to a truly mass audi- as perhaps the most influential theo- at New Hall. Guest speakers will ence, raising the awareness and gener- retical physicist since Einstein, stating include Sarah Kiln, of Sarah Kiln al knowledge of Cosmology and once: “My goal is the complete under- Associates, who undertook a childcare physics to an unprecedented level and standing of the universe, why it is the study in 2001 on behalf of the undoubtedly enthusing the scientists way it is, and why it exists at all.” Committee, to look at childcare provi- of the future.” sion for students within the University Hawking came to Cambridge to do Varsity would like to wish Stephen Photo: Cambridge University Press Office and the Cambridge area, and Mary research in Cosmology, having already Hawking a very happy birthday. Knox, of Opportunity Links, a volun- tary organisation which provides information, via the internet, to those who need to find out about local childcare facilities. All student parents are invited to attend this informal event, which is aimed at providing parents with access to information Harry cont. Accessibility about childcare whilst studying at Cambridge. CUSU’s Access Officer, Rachael Tripp, the University, the precedent has These statistics clearly call into ques- Further information is available is already anticipating the Prince’s already been set, even though his broth- Rebecca Hoyle tion the fairness and equality of the from Angela Myers, Secretary, Joint arrival. She told Varsity, “If Prince er chose not to apply. interview process. Nayem Chowdhury, Committee on Childcare for Harry got the required grades, and if he The Prince, who has been dogged with On Sunday the government launched the GEEMA rep on the CUSU Access Students, at the Old Schools, Tel: was lucky enough to be one of the drug-taking allegations in the past week, Aimhigher, a new initiative to encourage Executive, said, “With acceptance rates (3)32307, [email protected]. roughly one in three people who made will fit in well at Cambridge, according working class students to apply to uni- for certain ethnic groups being so low, Some car parking will be available at it through the interview, I’m sure he to figures from Varsity’s exclusive survey. versity. This comes just weeks after how can we encourage these people to the College, and a crèche will run dur- would be as welcome at Cambridge as Figures released today show Cambridge Cambridge University’s report on apply to Cambridge if it is almost cer- ing the afternoon. If you would like anyone from any background. Coming students are also quite prone to a spliff ‘Undergraduates, statistics of applica- tain that they will not get in?” your children to attend the crèche, from Eton, however, he statistically once in a while. Over 50% of students tions and acceptances for October Rachel Tripp, CUSU Access Officer, please e-mail age details through to stands a greater chance of winning a have tried cannabis and nearly 11% 2001’, which shows that the state-edu- has called the results of this report the address given above. place than someone from a comprehen- have tried cocaine. Like Prince Harry, cated and applicants from ethnic “deeply concerning”. She believes the sive, and being white increases his the majority of Cambridge students minorities are still less likely to gain a University should respond by increased chances further. I don’t think it would have only smoked cannabis occasionally. place at Cambridge than their white, scrutiny of the applications process and Huntingdon do much to further the idea that According to the survey, which received privately-educated counterparts. This mandatory training for all interviewers Cambridge wants to attract people hundreds of replies, Cambridge students came as a double blow to Cambridge’s on a wide variety of issues including Huntindon Life Sciences has hit the from all backgrounds.” are also a bunch of boozers. Indeed, Access workers, whose role it is to chal- equal opportunities and diversity. This headlines again. It was announced With his father, grandfather and great 60% of the respondants had sex under lenge and find solutions to ‘elitism’. would avoid any possibility of that Stephens Group, a finanacial grandfather as Trinity alumni and the the influence of alcohol. The government initiative involves Cambridge being involved in a “name backer, intended “to sell all of its stock Duke of Edinburgh as Chancellor of • Survey pages 12-13 ‘road shows’, where well-known celebri- and shame” campaign of elitist higher and debt-investments” in the research ties such as model Naomi Campbell, education institutions. centre. footballer Steven Gerard and Radio One University leaders have reacted angri- Since Stephens Group took on the DJ Judge Jules, will talk to students ly to the government’s criticism. In laboratories they have been put under from schools where few apply to univer- response to the calls by Margaret pressure from animal rights activists, sity. Hodge, the higher education secretary, who picketed their offices costing the Whilst the government initiative con- for universities to mount big-budget company £250,000 in legal fees and centrates on persuading those from recruitment drives, Diana Warwick, Sheriff’s costs. The chairman, Warren working class backgrounds to apply to chief-executive of Universities UK has Stephens, has also been personally tar- university, the Reporter study showed said: “That’s why in our submission to geted at his New York home. that much of the disparity in Cambridge the Government’s 2002 Spending Stephens Group claim that they are stems from the interview process, not a Review we highlighted the need to not “caving in to animal rights pro- lack of applications. Overall 33% of fully fund the additional costs involved testers”, but are making the decision applicants to the university were suc- in recruiting, retaining and supporting to drop HLS for purely commercial cessful in 2001. White applicants are these students throughout their stud- reasons. most likely to be successful, with 35% ies.” Unsurprisingly, the government Stop Huntingdon Animal Cruelty gaining places. However, only 23% of did not mention that although the believe “The time is now - we need to Pakistani applicants gained places, and proportion of working class students rub salt into the wound and finish this falls to 13% among Bangladeshi doubled in the 1990s, growth has HLS off for good!” students. Black students were shown to slowed since the introduction of Mary King, Jemima Warren, be least likely to gain a place at tuition fees and the abolition of main- Judith Whiteley Photo: Tom Catchesides Cambridge after interview, with only tenance grants for disadvantaged stu- 12.5% being offered places in 2001. dents. financial markets

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He colony, believing that the human race profound and original thinker with a would come to see this is as a central should treat the problem of a shrink- tremendous vision for ideas. Yet aspect of his student career: “I am lit- ing world seriously before it became a throughout his life people were his pri- erally studying mathematics at the best necessity. His journals record a mary interest, as anyone who met him place in the world for it.” Initially, detailed analysis of his thoughts on the for the first time could instantly sense. however, he wanted to balance work subject. He felt strongly that his fellow Born in San Francisco on 16 April with the lighter side of student life. A Cambridge students should be con- 1980, he spent his early childhood in central criterion of friendship cerned about “how we will measure up Palo Alto. He studied Japanese and the remained intellectual stimulus: “I like against past and future generations”, violin, and learnt to ski on the slopes having friends who can teach”. He also though he was uncertain how his peers of California and Colorado. In 1995, believed that everyone could teach could be made to realise the impor- he moved with his family to him something, and hence was never tance of this. Kazakhstan, attending a school where disinterested in what others had to say. Memorial services have now been courses were taught in Russian only. He became known as a notorious held for Fred in Holy Trinity, His polymath background stood him poser of tough philosophical ques- Brompton in London, and Menlo Park in good stead when he arrived in tions, calling or emailing friends late Presbyterian Church south of San England in 1996. Attending at night. Francisco. A further memorial is to be Westminster School, he studied Always looking for new challenges, held at Pembroke College. Double Maths, Physics and Russian A Fred left university in 2000/2001 to He is survived by his parents. levels and A/S Music, while also acting become a Research Assistant at The Frederick Hutchins Hodder, Cambridge and contributing to various school Brookings Institution in Washington student, was born April 16, 1980. He sports and the orchestra. Visits to DC, where he studied the post-Soviet died in an accident on the London Kazakhstan continued, now serving economy of Russia. Though thrilled Underground on December 28, 2001. Radio go-go Judith Whiteley ture with Queens’ Ents, at “Disco Demand” on Friday 25th January. A new broadcasting era dawns this Station manager Kate Arkless Gray Saturday, as Cambridge University hopes that the station will be able to Radio’s new medium wave frequency of “offer Cambridge students an alterna- 1350kHz hits the airwaves. The sta- tive to the bland radio they have been tion will reach out to all Cambridge subjected to by other stations in the students for the first time in its 23-year area.” CUR 1350 will be on air 24 history. For the first 20 years of its life, hours a day during term time and its the station was limited to an induction output will include “the best bands, loop in Churchill, and since 1999 the ents, chat, listings, reviews, comedy, service has only been available to other drama, competitions, news, sport and students via RealAudio on the internet. whatever else that Cambridge talent Broadcasting will begin at 1350 has to offer.” GMT on Saturday 19th January, with Successive CUR committees have National Student Radio Award nomi- worked for years to be granted a licence nee Jack Soper presenting the first by the national Radio Authority. show. “We can now consider ourselves Licensing regulations require a contin- to be a ‘proper’ radio station,” he says. uous ‘broadcast area’ to be drawn up “It really feels like CUR has grown up.” that consists entirely of University- Tuning squads will be sent out round owned land. The purchase and instal- the colleges to help students tune in to lation of the necessary equipment has this historic event in Cambridge broad- also required years of fundraising. casting. The launch week that follows For more information about the sta- promises huge prize give-aways and live tion, and to vote for the first track to be broadcasts from gigs and events in played when the station goes on air, Cambridge, culminating in a joint ven- visit: www.cur.co.uk. Mag plans Ed Shattock restricted to college use.” A petition has been presented to Cambridge City Opposition to Magdalene’s planned Council, with a meeting between resi- development on Chesterton Road is dents and the city council’s planning sub- mounting. committee due to take place on 23 The construction of a sports hall, fitness January. The forum will include residents, suite, 140-seat conference centre, and as well as representatives of Magdalene three-storey accommodation block has led and their architects, Freeland Rees local residents to fear that the new facilities Roberts. will generate even more traffic in an The new facilities will house undergrad- already busy area. uates, making other parts of the College Mr Denis Murphy, chairman of the available for conferences. The conference Magdalene planning committee, has com- centre will be used largely during vaca- mented that they are “listening very care- tions. fully” to the concerns of residents, stating The College will advertise the fact that that he was fully aware of the “serious their conferences centre “has no parking parking problems” around the College. facilities”, while Mr Murphy stated that Photo: George Danezis Christopher Bird spoke for himself and parking for conferences will be situated in his neighbours, who “hope the conference another part of the college when it is DAVID BABBS LEADS THE NATIONWIDE PROTEST AGAINST ESSO THIS WEDNESDAY IN CAMBRIDGE centre will be deleted and, at worst, required. AEP Energy Energy Associate Program Services Limited AEP Energy Services, Limited, based in is a wholly London is the centre of European trading owned UK for the Group, concentrating on electricity, subsidiary gas and coal, both physicals and derivatives. 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Please send your CV, together with a covering letter explaining your interest in joining this industry to: AEP Graduate Recruitment, CMC Consulting Ltd, 16 South Molton Street, London W1Y 1DE. -OR- email to [email protected] Deadline for CVs is 31st of January 2002 Information on AEP Group is available on www.aep.com 18 January 2002 6 NEWS FEATURES www.varsity.cam.ac.uk Free-floating thought corner Alex Lee lets the semen of his intellectual masturbation drizzle all over the pages of Varsity ‘Man is born free, but everywhere he is in continental Europe and America, mentalist, anti-American Muslim that freedom of expression extends ernments of the western world seek to in chains,’ wrote Jean-Jacques have grown complacent and self- thought has a place in a democratic only to a limited range of opinions. control and sterilise it, afraid to con- Rousseau. This would perhaps seem to obsessed, no more so than here, in country? Or that ‘unpleasant’, ‘offen- There are those who believe that the front the reality that democracy, to most an awkward mantra to assert with Britain, in the ‘mother of all sive’ beliefs have a role in Britain? To best way to ensure opportunity is to succeed, must first embrace its most reference to a democracy, but when Parliaments. how many does it seem unthinkable ignore merit and surpress free thought. bitter enemies as a prodigal son. applied to our own country, to What now of that prized ideal of that a person’s religion should not be The multi-coloured dream of the Yet the governments of the western America, to the western world of today, freedom and variety in society? The considered when applying for a job in fathers of democracy is being replaced world are not content merely to delude it could seem appropriate. freedom to choose and hold open Northern Ireland? And still there are by a grey homogenous mess fed their chained populations, but in the When wars are being declared in the opinions is ignored and even scorned. those, some of them ministers, who through a tube to the unthinking mil- true spirit of the capitalistic ideal that name of liberty and democracy, this To how many thousands does it now feel that there are only some views that lions. Far from representing society is worshipped, they desire to spread its might seem to be an odd assertion to seem ridiculous to think that funda- are to be tolerated in a ‘democracy’ and and revelling in its true diversity, gov- word far and wide, invited or not. make. When outcry is heard at Wherever there is found some consti- President Mugabe’s treatment of Photo: Angela Grainger tution or government not amenable to Zimbabwe, it might even appear their way of thinking, or some culture ridiculous were it not for the decline unfamiliar to their additive-dazed eyes, and death of true democracy. So often it is squeezed and crushed with has this word, ‘democracy’ been used alacrity. Where no crime has been in recent months and years that its committed, one is invented. Where a meaning has been forgotten. For who country refuses extradition on the now, amongst those who shouted in grounds of a paucity of evidence, protest at the events of September bombing is swift to follow. The merci- 11th, and those who cry for political less imperialism is too obvious for even correctness really know what it means? the most dedicated conservative to In domestic and foriegn policy, the ignore. The democratic ideal of very word ‘democracy’ is nothing more respecting other cultures and other than a collection of syllables that mores extends only so far as they are damns the opposition and justifies willing to adapt to western wants. whatever is to follow. We, and much of the world today, sit When, in centuries past, great men in shackles, our freedom taken by sub- strived against the burdens and priva- tle means and our taste for it depleted tions of tyranny and oppression, the through duplicity. Where, it is tempt- world they invisaged was on liberty, ing to ask, is freedom, in its true sense, freedom and toleration. Thoughts to be found today? It is not in the cor- could roam free and actions were fet- ridors of Westminster, or the chambers tered by nothing more than security of Washington, but in the cages in from harm. And in democracy was Guantanamo Bay, in the minds of seen the simplest and most equitable embittered captives from distant way to ensure that the views of all were Afghanistan, clinging to their beliefs, represented and taken into account in in opposition to the cultural disrespect matters of government, in which the that has accompanied western imperi- needs of individuals were to be the pri- alism. It is found, not in aggressive mary concern. Variety, variation and forign policy, but in isolationism. It is non-intervention were qualities prized revealed, not in manipulation in socie- in society, as nothing more than a ty, but in representing people, without group of human being standing on the restictions of party or whip. It is their own merits. Today, the legacy of found not in the language of the polit- these great figures is forgotten, though ically correct, but in the words of those their words are used in their name. who will be prepared to listen with What now of the government that equimanity to the views of anyone and represents us? The very existence of discuss with open mind even those political parties defies the representa- views most repulsive to them. It is tion of a consitutency, while whips found in all of us, if only we will give ensure that the will of the leadership is rein to our minds to seek out opinions obeyed in isolation from the country and put faith in merit, and merit in which patients rot in overcrowded alone. It falls to us to recapture the hospital corridors, and trains lie idle in spirit of liberty and freedom, or else let stations. Governments both here and us sell our futures now. Eur-owed money Worthless price increases (my fizzy beer is actual- thing to do with it. To them, the sin- Anna Gunn ly a few Euro cents more expensive gle currency stands for the erosion of Nobody listens to CUSU says Dan O’Huiginn these days!), the Dutch have embraced workers’ rights and is a tool of big At the end of last term just over 100 buck, claiming publicity was the As I write this from my parental home the physical transition to the Euro business that has been introduced via students voted at the termly CUSU responsibility of college JCRs. Most in The Netherlands, I’m suffering with remarkable zeal. undemocratic conspiracy. I never open meeting. A good turnout? had either completely ignored the from my first Euro hangover, and no, A government led campaign under expected to find ideological overlap Perhaps by CUSU standards: CUSU event, or had left a solitary poster in a it’s got nothing to do with inflation. the slogan ‘the Euro will belong to us between the Euro-sceptic conserva- holds an open meeting every term, but forgotten place. And of course Pav Impressive EU PR efforts mean that all’, and the distribution of special tives, and continental anarchists, but this was the first one in 6 years to Akhtar trotted out the catch-all every Nederlander knows that one ‘Euro kits’ to the value of 3 euro 88 to there you have it. reach its quorum of 100 students. It CUSU excuse that “we all work 70 or Euro is worth 2.20 Dutch guilders, get used to the new coins, helped a We have witnessed the death of the only just made it, with the 79 initially 80 hour weeks as it is”. but that’s not the way it seems at 2 am great deal. My 9 year old brother has Guilder, drinking champagne and eat- present increased by groups hurriedly This may be true. But it does noth- in a smoky bar. Consequentially, a been practicing his Euro arithmetic at ing vegan snacks in a squatted social dragged from nearby bars. If the issues ing to explain why CUSU sees the quick survey of my (admittedly boozy) school, whilst my Dutch bank has center which doubles up as a bar and debated had been any less important – open meeting, virtually the only friends revealed that our per capita been telling me how much money I restaurant open to the public. At mid- on the agenda were motions of oppo- chance the exec has to meet students alcohol in take in the wake of the sin- don’t have in both Guilders and Euro’s night, we gleefully burnt a giant card- sition to war in Afghanistan and to the directly, as such a low priority. It spent gle currency has risen markedly. Fizzy for over a year. board Euro on a bonfire in the street, Anti-terrorism, Crime and Security countless hours and almost £1000 beer at 1 euro 60 instead of fl 3,00 I spent New Year’s Eve in the compa- thus symbolizing ongoing defiance to bill – there is little chance so many publicising the ‘Grants not Fees’ rally, seems cheaper when the conversion ny of a group of anarchists from the the international monetary system in students would have come. which was not even a CUSU event. brain cells have been knocked out Eurodusnie (lit: Euro-no-way) collec- general. The next day, even the anar- The first part of the meeting, under- But there was “not enough time” to through drink. tive in Leiden. They have been cam- chists had already worked out the standably, was filled with criticism of advertise a major CUSU gathering. Seriously though, despite the wide- paigning against the single currency Euro conversion rates for beer and CUSU, which had once again failed to Pav should decide which matters spread feeling of ‘being ripped off’ for various reasons since 1997, and organic fruit juice and it was business give any real publicity to the event. more: hearing students’ views or help- through stealthy and indeed illegal admire the British refusal to have any- as usual. CUSU’s response was to pass the ing the NUS hierarchy. 18 January 2002 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk NEWS FEATURES 7 Football ruins society Trouble Recently, Oxbridge has been in the Michael Phillips examines the recent hysteria surrounding the problems in British football news. We have heard about debauched drinking societies, snobbery, and the dis- When football makes it onto the front proportionately low number of state page, the reason is hardly ever positive. school students accepted again this year. David Beckham’s homoerotic dress sense None of these stories said anything new, aside, a footballer leading the way on but they had an impact all the same, News at Ten is not a reason to be cheerful. since they highlighted problems. Racism, hooliganism and unrest amongst Another place that is never out of the players and fans, on and off the pitch, has news is Belfast. The most recent story is recently seen football labelled as a danger- the renewed protest at Holy Cross ous social ill. It is about time that people Primary School. In September, and stopped using the game as a scapegoat for before that in June, there were protests at wider divisions in British life, something the Catholic primary school by local which football simply reflects rather than Protestant residents, who claim they are influences. being driven out of their homes. Again, The recent pitch invasion after Cardiff we have seen spleen being vented at chil- City’s third round FA Cup tie against dren too young to understand what they Leeds was viewed by many as an indica- are being caught up in. But this time the tion that the bad old days of football vio- trouble has spread all over the city. There lence had returned. This assertion hides have been attacks at Our Lady of Mercy the fact that at most British clubs, hooli- Primary School, where two armed men ganism of one kind or another never real- smashed up several cars in the car park, ly went away. The Hillsborough disaster of while another armed man stood guard. 1989, where 96 Liverpool fans lost their Children from the Protestant Boys lives, alerted both football and govern- Model Secondary School have had to be mental authorities to the fact that some- escorted from school by the police. thing needed to be done about the condi- Loyalist group the Red Hand tion of British football stadia. This inci- Defenders issued a death threat against dent was not caused by violence, but the Catholic school workers. This week, Taylor report, which followed the tragedy, police are guarding the gates of all was to play a major role in reducing hooli- Catholic schools. There have even been ganism at football’s top level. The two bomb threats against primary schools. A main results of the report were that Catholic working in a post office in a grounds were made all seating, and fences BskyB’s owner, Rupert Murdoch, knew But anyone who has seen a city centre only come about with a nationwide Protestant area was killed. Revulsion at were removed from around the edge of the that if this risky venture was to be a suc- after a visit from the fans of Cardiff or change in attitudes. the killing has been so widespread that terraces. This meant that clubs had to pro- cess, he would have to broaden the appeal Millwall will testify that for many, sup- In an article for the Daily Mail, Simon there has been talk of a strike by public vide more adequate security at games, of the game beyond its traditionally porting a football team still involves a Heffer blames the tribalism of football sector workers to show their disgust. rather than simply sticking the fans working-class fan base, and this involved good punch up with rival fans. It was only for the racism and tribalism rife in British It all seems a long way away from the behind fences, and leaving them to do making the grounds themselves a more the surface of the game which was made society, and links the violence of players jubilation that surrounded the signing of whatever they wanted to each other. All- family-friendly environment. Anyone shiny and consumable, with the clubs such as Lee Bowyer and John Terry, “who the Good Friday agreement. It was said seater stadiums made fans easier to con- who has been to a professional football mentioned above, and many others, still seem a bit short on A-levels”, with the then that Northern Ireland was moving trol, with the crowd as a whole becoming match knows that you do not become having a deplorable record for controlling racism of “a whole segment of British on, and leaving behind the sectarian bile less of an unruly mass. hooked by watching matches on the box. fan violence. The same is true of racism. society, young men too revolting to find and violence that had dominated it in However, these changes filtered down It is coming up out of the labyrinth cor- The recent case of Emile Heskey being a nice girl, and too thick to hold down a the past. There have been many difficul- to the smaller clubs a lot more slowly, ridor-tunnels of the stadium, and being taunted with gorilla noises at Everton is decent job”. I wonder which segment he ties since then, but the mood has been which meant that crowds at these games taken aback at just how green the pitch is; simply a high profile example of a trend could be referring to? When you’ve stood generally upbeat: the feeling was that posed the same problems as ever. Football it is the moment just after a goal is with fans, and in some cases players, next to someone at a Cambridge college progress was still being made. violence had always existed at every level scored, when a whole stadium breathes in which never really evaporated. Certain sports event, listening to comments like Events like those at Holy Cross seem of the game, at the bigger clubs there simultaneously, and then lets out the clubs, Everton being a prime example, “He’s not bad for a darky”, it seems par- to make this progress, and all politics, were simply more people taking part. loudest, most passionate sound you have have always had a reputation for racism. ticularly strange to define racism as a irrelevant. Intense sectarian hatred, on And this stagnant situation did not both- ever heard. And in order to get wealthy Comedian and Chelsea fan David solely working-class malaise; coming both sides of the divide, has surfaced in er the authorities one bit, as it was a middle-class families to even consider Baddiel spoke in an FHM interview of from a writer in the Mail, it is ludicrous. the most sickening way. This hatred has cleaning up at the more high profile end entering this atmosphere, then the regularly being verbally assaulted and spat Despite the gentrification football has little to do with ceasefires: it simply of football which they wished to imple- beered-up, foul-mouthed, stanley knife- at by his own fellow supporters, for wear- undergone, the negative elements which wants to hurt the other side; the real ment. This was largely due to the injec- wielding face of football had to be pub- ing an Anti-Nazi league badge on his surround it are still seen as linked to its problem in the North is on the ground, tion of cash the game received when in licly removed. The fact that England was jacket. What has changed is the willing- working-class origins, and it is a fear of in people’s attitudes. The IRA may not 1992 the fledgling satellite network Sky mounting a bid for the 1996 European ness of players and fans to speak out, the working-classes which sees the game blow up a building, but Catholic gangs Television bought the rights to broadcast Championship also meant that English rather than suffer in silence. FA initiatives labelled as a terrible influence on society will still attack Protestants, and vice the newly formed Premier League, for a football had to appear friendly, safe, and can only go so far in tackling the problem; during its times of crises. Football attracts versa. The politicians are making a then unprecedented amount of £365m. financially viable. the eradication of racism in football can anti-social factions because it is a vacu- worthwhile effort, but it is only once um, into which discontented, disillu- attitudes begin to change that the prob- sioned and down-right nasty people can lem is really being addressed. wield an influence disproportionate to In the same way, the recent bad press their power. Fans cannot really affect Oxbridge has received shows that it is events on the field, but each crowd does only when attitudes in the two universi- have its own identity, and a means of ties really are changing that its problems expressing itself for which it cannot be will be solved. The University must made accountable. To all extents and work to stamp out sexism, snobbery and purposes, the game of football goes on bigotry still in Cambridge. Equally, unchanged, whatever the actions of its those outside Cambridge need to let go supporters, and will always be there for of their prejudices if the University is those who wish to voice the racism, xeno- going to move on. When an A-Level stu- phobia, and hatred which prevail in dent at a state school reads that British society. The football crowd is the Cambridge is a haven of private school perfect place for this, where at the same debauchery, they are hardly encouraged time the fan has the insulation of to apply and redress the balance. anonymity, being one among many, and It may seem strange to compare a the safety of numbers, being part of a problem involving weapons with those group. The fan can express his individu- at one of the world’s finest universities. ality, and also feel that he belongs, giving However, in both cases, there is a funda- him confidence to express views which mental conflict between the old order would be unacceptable in a different and the new. Some people can’t accept atmosphere. Thus football attracts to it Catholics and Protestants living togeth- these negative factors, which exist outside er, some can’t accept state school stu- of its power to unite nations, its ability to dents reaching the highest level of edu- inspire individuals to the heights of cation. In both situations, great progress human achievement, and the sheer spec- has been made, and the process is ongo- tacle inherent in the sport. Football’s ing. But you only have to open a news- problems are the effect of a divided soci- paper to see how far there still is to go. ety, not the cause. Hugh Collins 18 January 2002 8 NEWS FEATURES www.varsity.cam.ac.uk Queer pressure News Features Editor, Michael Phillips, on holiday in Paris Cambridge is a good place to be gay. mixture of amusement and alarm, a no means unique, and there are a huge Such a diverse community has natu- standard response from what I gath- number of people who would be hap- rally developed a certain amount of ered. I went along to the LBG society pier, and be more satisfied as people if tolerance for those with different prac- freshers events: an alcohol-fuelled they remembered that coming out was tices and beliefs. This is not to say squash and bop, much like anything about being yourself, not a declaration that things don’t need to improve. aimed at newbies. Everyone I met was of independence from your communi- There are still many people who do terribly friendly, and really quite inter- ty and its morals. Spending time on not feel able to express themselves and ested in welcoming the freshers. the scene is not liberating: it’s an easy still fit into university life. The opti- Again, much like all the events in col- escape into a world that revolves mistic view is that as more and more lege. around sex, and as long as you play by of us feel able to come out, our peers But at college, you eventually force the rules, you will get your fix of will be more accepting and support- yourself into some sort of routine. acceptance. The atmosphere is one ive, making the whole process easier. You form the friendships you’ll still that looks down on people who value When a friend comes out to you, it have when you’re settling down and their straight friends in college or challenges prejudice, and means you choosing just the right shade of beige share their values. have more than stereotypes and media for the downstairs toilet. To my eter- So why is this environment support- reports on which to base your opin- nal regret, throughout that first term, ed and promoted by a well-funded ions. CUSU campaign? Perhaps it isn’t fair It’s an easy escape into a world that The LesBiGay that each gay person campaign is has, to a large revolves around sex, and as long as you designed to help extent, the burden Lesbians, Bisexuals of being the homo- play by the rules, you will be accepted and Gay men: to sexual archetype to offer support, and those that know them, but until there I was still going out on the gay scene, work for a better environment in the is complete openness on sexuality, drinking too much, trying to fit in university. Advertising their events that’s the way it is. Based on my own and making mistakes that will have an with pink flyers only serves to margin- experience of the university gay scene, effect on the rest of my life. There alize them, and ensures that stereo- many of us, especially men, are doing were many people I could say I knew, types are reinforced. The same flyers nothing to help themselves or the but none I could depend on, none extend the invitiation to people of all cause of equality in general. In fact, I whose motives were clear. That’s what sexualities, but this will remain futile would argue that the scene is in gener- I was doing while people in college while LesBiGay continues to pigeon- al destructive to the individual and were choosing their flatmates, cele- hole itself. For as long as the world of detrimental to the acceptance of brating each other’s birthdays and LesBiGay remains closed and unac- homosexuality. regretting that photo with the inflat- countable, it will carry on ruining For me, it started in fresher’s week. able sheep, plus all those other bond- people’s lives and reinforcing preju- First, I read the Freedom booklet, ing rituals. dices. reacting to the explicit content and I’m not suggesting that absolutely Nick Hodsdon clumsy inspirational rhetoric with a everyone gets it so wrong, but I was by

18 January 2002 10 EDITORIAL www.varsity.cam.ac.uk

It’s pot luck but weed let him in Prince Harry should apply and atone for his elder brother’s mis- takes. Contrary to the CUSU Access Officer’s reservations, we think that letting good old Harry in could only be good for Access. Remember that Wills’ choice of St Andrews sparked a 200% increase in women applying, all hoping to snare a Prince. He should also be very popular on the drinking societies scene, with the Alley Catz alleged to be first in line. Shops selling pash- minas will start to open along Kings Parade and the Pitt Club may have a new member. Oddbins will be selling Champagne by the crate-load and Nadias will be selling caviar baguettes. Prince Harry may well succeed at Cambridge; remember that not so long ago, William Straw, the son of Jack Straw was caught up in his own drugs furore and he is now the President of Oxford Student Union. The same rapid assent beckons. And finally… The end is nigh. As the clock reaches 3am it is time to put our last issue of Varsity to bed. One is left looking back to those hopeful days of October. Those days when the Freshers came in and believed that Cambridge was a wonderful institution of scholar- Quick Crossword dom, rather than venue to many of their drunkest and most Across Down debauched nights. Back in those days, the world was still strug- 1. Impossible to read (9) 1. Questioning (13) gling to come to terms with September 11 and Varsity revealed 7. Consume (6) 2. Father of Odysseus (7) 8. Molasses (7) 3. Small lizard (5) that the leader of the race hate organisation Al-Muhajiroun was 11. Distributed in limited portions 4. Place of beer manufacture (7) being allowed to speak in our hallowed halls. As the term gathered (8) 5. Type of cheese (4) pace we were allowed to unleash our investigative skills on our 12. Follower of Islam (6) 6. Thief (7) favourite topic: CUSU. A loss of £25,000 on a disco was the focus 13. Container for bones (7) 9. Welsh county (13) and we even provoked a resignation from the Union building offi- 15. One who bets (7) 10. A martial art (4,2) 16. Place for records and documents 14. Surrounded by (6) cer. Finally as the stress and number of missed essay deadlines rose (7) 17. Drug (7) we were thrust into the international limelight with stories of 18. First artificial satellite (7) 18. Doubter (7) drunkenness, debauchery and most importantly naïve Deans in 20. Cut into (6) 19. Capital of Kenya (7) Cambridge. Irresponsible, despicable, Judas some of you cried, 21. Type of exercise (8) 22. Board for communication with but I bet you read Varsity that week. Above all its been fun. Varsity 24. Capital of Libya (7) spirits (5) 25. Source of stability esp. ships (6) 23. Undergo combustion (4) is an irreverent and sometimes silly student newspaper, but then 26. Type of fruit (9) we are also silly students living in this make-believe world of Ivory Towers. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s been emotional. Cryptic Crossword Across Down The Varsity crossword is sponsored by Joti and Debbie, graduate advisors at Natwest. 1. He hides money and washes clothes 1.Small, male university team player To win a £10 music/book voucher return either completed puzzle with your details to (9) wanted to blow his horn (6,3,4) the Varsity offices by 12 noon Wednesday. 7. Repent about chapter immediately 2.Jazz piano put, not quietly, into a per- (2,4) fect place, where it belongs (7) Crossword compiled by 8. Cancer and Capricorn in warm climes 3.Doctor initials intravenous ecstasy for Sarah (7) energy (5) 11. Hung about metamorphosed 4.Look up to in dire spectacles (7) Answers to last issue’s crossword: dolerite (8) 5.Artist with small foot and primitive 12. Dismiss for lie in the past, which isn’t boat (4) Cryptic Crossword – Across: 3. Twitcher 6. Herod 7. Urn 8. on (3-3) 6.Decoy loses head when impaled by log Bowler 10 ides 11. Ego 12. Tidiest 14. In at the deep end 16. 13. Auditor’s NatWest, dripping for feast in a branch of biology (7) Cranberry sauce 21. Admiral 22. Aid 24. Ruin 25. Trauma 26. Ode 27. (7) 9.Sinistral 3 found on continental roads Issue 28. External 15. Short diploma by square young Tory (4,4,5) Down: 1. Deadpan 2. Consent 3. Tank 4. Holbein 5. Rarity 7. UFO Henry results in painting with two leaves 10.Bowler’s hook makes the gap fuzzy 9. Oedipus 12. Theory 13. Cereal 15. Tantrum 17. Rampart 18. (7) (3,3) Address 19. Curious 20. Cattle 22. Ace 23. bowl 16. A dairy product for guy Thor ham- 14.World Council and United States mered (7) newsman is neglected (6) Quick Crossword – Across: 3. Cherubim 6. Apple 7. Fad 8. Eclair 18. Prescribed way of life from system 17.Be pregnant with an estimated eight, 10. Verb 11. Bay 12. Beatify 14. Petrochemistry 16. pugnaciousness of government with direction (7) we hear (7) 21. Algebra 22. Map 24. Turf 25. Braise 26. Dew 27. Knead 28. acer- 20. Stricken silent, practice aural exer- 18.Automaton in charge of moving with- Julian Blake and Adam Joseph,Varsity editors 2001-2002 bity cise (6) out thought (7) Down: 1. Appease 2. Blubber 3. Code 4. Brazier 5. Martyr 7. Fey 9. 21. Hated marshal Rob heard (8) 19. Shaken, not stirred when fashion- Chassis 12. Bamboo 13. Cha-cha 15. Omnibus 17. Upgrade 18. 24. Tax one missing from extermination able one on old transport is all backed Varsity Publications Ltd Neptune 19. Spartan 20. Gambia 22. Mow 23. Eddy end points (7) up (7) Second Floor, 11-12 Trumpington Street, Cambridge CB2 1QA 25. Street circle ties things up (6) 22.South American casualty quit climb- Varsity Online: www.varsity.cam.ac.uk There was no winner at the end of last term, so this weeks crossword 26. Debauched Essex vice is too much ing to see monsters (5) Advertising: 01223 353422 Editorial: 01223 337575 Fax: 01223 352913 is a rollover jackpot. (9) 23.We receive silver for payment (4)

The Varsity Team If you would like to contribute to Varsity, turn up to a section meeting (times below) at the Varsity offices (unless otherwise indicated) or email a section editor Editors Julian Blake, Adam Joseph [email protected] News Editors Sophie Morphet, Judith Whiteley [email protected] Mon 4pm Business Manager Ed Hall [email protected] News Features Editor Michael Phillips [email protected] Fri 5pm Technical Director Tim Harris Interviews Editor Natasha Grayson [email protected] Company Secretary Diana Tapp Science Editors Becky Burton, Gabbie Bradfield [email protected] Mon 6pm Fashion Editors Emily Haworth-Booth, Katharine Hibbert [email protected] Production Manager James Southgate [email protected] Outlook Editors Rachael Marsh, Anita Moss [email protected] Mon 5pm Creative Director James O’Connor [email protected] Sport Editor Nick King [email protected] Fri 3pm The Maypole Chief Sub-editors Amy Frost Photos Editor Sam Dobbin [email protected] Arts Editor Rob Sharp [email protected] News Photos Editor Kieran Drake Theatre Editors Alex Lee, Sarah Legrand [email protected] Fri 5pm Bar Ha!Ha! Sport Photos Editor Catherine Harrison Film Editors Will Bland, Kate McNaughton [email protected] Thu 5pm The Anchor Online Editor Chris Waiting [email protected] Music Editors Louisa Thomson, Dave Thorley [email protected] Fri 4pm The Eagle Online Webmaster Richard Lee [email protected] Classical Music Editor Ben Ward [email protected] Wed 5.30pmThe Eagle Page Design Jim Minter, Simon Dangoor Literature Editor Sarah Savitt [email protected] Mon 5.30pm Sub-editors Rob Sharp, Ed Hall Visual Arts Editor Vanessa Hodgkinson [email protected] E-mail for details

18 Jnauary 2002 12 QUESTIONNAIRE www.varsity.cam.ac.uk The ✔ And our survey annual survey said…

Soooooooooooo…Cambridge Life – what’s it like? Prissy, studious, conservative? Or disaffected, debauched and decadent? 200 of you responded to Varsity’s comprehensive student attitudes and lifestyle survey. So here we present the definitive Cambridge stats. Let’s go explode some myths, folks. This is Cambridge for real. Work stuff Sex What do you take? Half of you go to all your lectures, half of you don’t. 1 in 5 of you remain celestial virgins, but 70% of But with average lecture attendance at an impres- the fallen angels first had sex at Cambridge. The sive 82%, and most people working at least a 25 average number of sexual partners to date is just hour week, you’re all working pretty damn over 4, but the 9 of you who claim to have had 20+ hard…even if you don’t admit it. Despite all the partners unbalances everything a bit. hard graft, however, 90% of you are content to be And now for the fun bit…2 in 5 of you have frol- Cantabs. And nobody said they wish they’d gone icked in a public place – Varsity’s favourites being: to Oxford instead. Ha. in a punt, in a pub playground’s big boot thing, in a hammock hanging alongside 30 other hammocks Number of hours worked per week under a palapa. And to the person who had sex in toxic 8 – urgh! Close on a third have got all tied up in bed and a quarter have played at dressing up with a partner. A fairly astounding 1 in 10 claim to have slept with a lecturer. And 17% of those were compscis. No kidding. And in case you were wondering, morality is not quite dead. Two thirds of you have never been unfaithful. Sweet. We’re 85% heterosexual, 5% homosexual and 5% Bi. Somebody somewhere defined their sexuality as “natsci”. We’re sure the university has more than one of them. the Junction to say anything meaningful about it Politics Drugs Lifestyle at all. Our survey says…that Cambridge is being taken Opinion is divided over the competence of CUSU, Half of you have never tried cannabis, one third of Everybody loves Life! But Cindys and Toxic 8 over by boatie bores, rugger buggers and squash with 54% expressing confidence in the union and you use it “rarely” and only 10% of you use it once have been officially rubbished by you, dear read- sensations. A quarter of you do between 5 and 10 46% not. Despite Varsity’s best efforts however, a week or more. Charitably, though, 7 out of 10 of ers. The Fez rates pretty well, while the jury’s out hours of exercise a week and an eighth do a stag- just under half of you reckon that CUSU’s actually you think it should be legalized. As for other stuff, on PoNaNa. And not enough people have been to gering 10-20 hours a week. Phew. doing a fairly average job for a student union. And only 1 in 10 of you have ever used speed, ecstasy, 9 people think it’s doing a v. good job. Now how LSD or cocaine. Or for all those tabloid newspaper many people are there on the CUSU Exec…? editors out there: “11% of Cambridge students on More than half of you think the Cambridge crack!” Union Society is arrogant and elitist, but as black Most of you get drunk once a week or so, tie for Thursday night debates has finally been although five crazy chickens reckon they get ham- abandoned, it will be interesting to see what the mered every single day. One in ten share nothing stats say next year. with the media stereo-type of the perpetually soz- Moving on to REAL politics, it looks like zled student, being absolutely spot-on teetotal. Cambridge isn’t full of Tory boys after all. Only And 4 out of 5 of you should be very proud NOT 13% of you voted for the Conservatives in June to be a member of a drinking society. 2001, compared to 29% for the Lib Dems and Three-quarters of you never ever smoke, and of 27% for Labour. Perhaps the most telling statistic, those who do, 20% claim only to do so “socially”. however, is that almost a third of you didn’t vote at all.

How do you rate CUSU? 18 January 2002 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk QUESTIONNAIRE 13

Random Stuff ably, popular choices. “Chris Kelly’s ass” was chosen by a Corpuscle. Far more disturbing, however, was Here are a few interesting contrasts and comparisons: the clearly tormented individual who wanted to raze IT’S NOT TRUE, that more people have been to the Fudge Shops to the ground and annihilate all Goa than to Girton! Nearly half of you have been to those lovely little fudge men. the much-ridiculed college, and only a pitiful 11% to Apologies to: the female engineer from Fitz who India. More people have been to the sub-continent entered 25 times on paper and countless more times than have been to CUSU Council, however. on the internet. More people have been to the careers service than And whoever it was who said: “Give me the prize. on a demo. Our parents would be ashamed. My car was stolen yesterday. Give me the prize you Churchill wins the award for ugliest college, with an bastards. I love you.” impressive 40% of votes. New Hall was next with Christian Gardener from Trinity was the lucky win- 18% followed by Fitz with 12%. ner. He spent two weeks in Val d’Isere on the Varsity Many and varied were the responses to “what would Ski Trip. you like to blow up in Cambridge?” The UL, Stats Nerd: Ed Hall Sainsburys and the Sidgewick Site were, understand- Tea Ladies: James Southgate & Judith Whiteley

How do you rate the clubs?

interview ¥ 16 fashion ¥ 23 Party?

Pyjama party New outlook ¥ 26 Old Party

Snow party science ¥ 17

Cyborg party outlook interview 18 January 2002 16 fashion science www.varsity.cam.ac.uk focus

The regretful but stalwart leader of the floundering Tories talks candidly to In Deep Shit Sarah Brealey. first met IDS, as Iain Duncan-Smith then you’re a mug” – but doesn’t men- minimise the European issue. He stress- Key to the central core of that is the because I’m having a review of this. I’m has christened himself, a year and a tion anything else. es that he is prepared to tolerate dis- health service, which frankly without just part of the rest of them. We all Ihalf ago, before the leadership cam- The Labour Party calls him “William agreement, allowing colleagues to step reform is going to soak up any money make our decisions collectively; that’s paign was thought of, and I was pro- Hague without the charisma”. In fact, down temporarily from the shadow cab- that you throw at it and not deliver any- the point about democracy, isn’t it?” foundly unimpressed. So I was interest- his cosmopolitan tastes, regular church- inet if they wish to campaign for a yes- thing at all.” He is more candid about the party’s ed to see whether power had changed going and four children make him seem vote in the euro referendum. He sounds During the leadership election IDS problems: “We were in government for him. He has shorter hair now, to match more similar to Tony Blair. He drinks positively offended by questions on the performed what looked like a startling so long that we became more and more his new abbreviated soubriquet and Earl Grey, shops in Austin Reed and issue, accusing me of “going round and U-turn on Section 28, the law that stops focussed on running government, and statesman-like role, but no more charis- moves Tiffany & Co carrier bags out of round” the subject after the second councils promoting homosexuality. not on the wider political perspective. ma. In fact, he doesn’t even sound ani- the way for the photograph. Unlike question. After defending the policy at the begin- We’ve had to recover from that over the mated when talking about his wife and ning of the leadership campaign in June, last four to five years and that’s what this children. He says “Um” quite a lot, “The health service, without reform, is by early September he was complaining is all about: getting back engaged again, wrings his hands, and most of his sen- that the law had become a “totem” on things like health service, public tences are punctuated with “you know”, going to soak up any money that you which identified the party with hatred. service reform, transport, law and especially when I don’t. He doesn’t seem In an interview with the Sunday order.” to enjoy his job very much, and speaks throw at it and not deliver anything at all.” Telegraph, he promised to “look at it This will be a slow process. The results of his regrets about standing for elec- again” if elected leader. When I ask him of the policy review will not come tion. But that’s not going to stop him Blair, however, there have been no He becomes much happier once we about this, he says, “My view on Section through until 2003, with a general elec- getting on with it. media-friendly pictures of him sur- move on to his favourite topic of public 28 has been the same throughout, tion a few years later. At the moment the “I have regrets about it, but I just get rounded by an adoring family. “I don’t services, and the visits he and his front which is that it’s important that children Tories’ performance is barely an on and do it now, you know. But at the want my family involved at all, so I’ve bench have made to study best practice have protection against those who can improvement on this time in the last time, I had to consider it very carefully said there will be no pictures of them – in other countries. IDS has shown him- use their position of authority to influ- parliament. “I have no intention of los- indeed, which I did – I talked to my which there haven’t been. It’s got noth- self keen to challenge Labour on their ence them. How we go about that is the family about it, and it was only after ing to do with them that I’m leader of traditional territory as the party of pub- key question. It may be that Section 28 “I think one of the they agreed that I finally decided to do the Conservative Party.” He makes it lic services. “That’s the biggest thing is the right way to do it, it may be that it.” sound rather like a contagious disease. that I want to look at in terms of a rad- Section 28 is not the right way to do it, problems with the He adds that it took him a week and a IDS came to politics late in life, only ical overhaul of that’s what we’re actually reviewing at half from Hague’s resignation to decide becoming an MP in 1992. Before that policy... the moment.” Not quite the new Conservative Party to run for leader. Hague himself says he was in business, and before that in liberal beliefs he seemed to be that his successor begged him to stay on, the army. At times he seems to be visibly espousing during the is that it’s, more supporting Hague in his last moments wishing he were still in such a regulat- election campaign. often than not, not in a way he never did with Major. ed environment, where orders are He refuses to there to be obeyed. “I think it’s say what his dogmatic.” “I have regrets difficult to lead any political own opin- party,” he says. “You’ve got a ion is, ing the next election, and I don’t think about it, but I just bunch of people who claiming, we will lose the next election,” he insists. come here with hopes “My But he seems close to admitting that his get on and do it.” and aspirations and person- words are at best optimistic, at worst ideas, who want to alempty rhetoric. “Every politician says Hague returned the compliment, press their case opin- the same thing,” he admits. recently describing him as “honest, well- (quite legitimately), ions He has no patience with questions informed, intelligent, thoughtful, hard so keeping the are about the fate of the Conservative Party working and right about everything he party together is irrele- or of himself personally if they lose speaks about”. The two are in regular, if always a difficult vant, another election, dismissing such specu- not frequent, contact: IDS says that they process.” He lation as “pointless”. He says, “Of course last met “for a proper discussion” about describes the job as there’s a big hill to climb.” But IDS is two weeks before this interview. What “a challenge”, not, it seems, a man to be deterred by do they talk about? One imagines it can adding, “I don’t hills. “You get on with it, you make it only be the horrors of the job, Hague think anyone in work and a success and deal with what- perhaps with a slight smile on his face as the world’s had ever comes next.” He may not have he congratulates himself on being well enough experience.” much enthusiasm for it, but there is lit- out of it. Despite this, he says tle doubt that he will, indeed, get on I ask what the factors for and against that the Conservative with it. Whether he will also make his decision were. “Against were the Party’s “fractious moment” it a success remains to be effects on my family, and whether I real- is now over. “I think the seen. ly wanted to do it. It’s a huge step and party has made a collective now I’ve done it I realise what a huge decision that it wants to step it really was, and if I’d known then, focus now on getting back into power.” In response, I “If you come into ask him about the complaints of Lord Skidelsky, the former this for money then Conservative peer who recently left for the cross-benches, that the you’re a mug.” party is too dogmatic. He denies this, saying the reverse is true. “I think one I’m not sure…” He trails off, then con- of the problems with the Conservative tinues, “It was a completely different Party is that it’s, more often than not, process from anything I’d done before in not dogmatic. The Conservative Party, politics… I work more hours than I’ve ironically, has always been a fairly ever worked in my life, and I don’t real- loose collection of principles.” I am ly see my family. It’s had a dramatic reminded of the words of Nick Kent, effect on our lives.” the man responsible for co-ordinat- He never gets as far as the reasons for ing Ken Clarke’s rival leadership his decision, although John Major’s bid, who described IDS’s victory as autobiography marked him out as a choice of “ideological purity “ambitious” some years ago. He over electability”. emphatically rules out any financial Aware of the Euro’s potential to motivation – “If you come into this for continue to divide the party, money he has done his best to 18 January 2002 outlook interview focus www.varsity.cam.ac.uk fashion science 17 STARS IN HIS EYES Jonathan Zwart discusses the cosmos with Martin Rees, Astronomer Royal Kt, FRS, Astronomer Royal, Cambridge while exercise in its own right.’ He sees pick a subject where new things are hap- Professor at the age of thirty, ex- astrophysics as fulfilling several purposes pening, because if you don’t, all you can President of the Royal Astonomical – we have a fundamental human instinct do is try to solve the problems that the Society, winner of the 2001 Gruber Prize to explore, and the cosmos lets us con- previous generation got stuck on, and for Cosmology, Trustee of the British duct experiments in much more extreme that’s tough.’ Martin Rees’ own field, Museum... Exactly what questions do conditions than are possible in earth lab- cosmology, has remained on a high to you put to a man who has a whole alpha- oratories. ‘For that reason the best way to this day. And in his opinion, it will con- bet of accolades after his name? I mulled understand the basic laws and forces of tinue to do so for at least the next ten the problem over as I wandered round to nature is through astronomy. So it’s a years, when, for example, there’ll be tele- Kings’ to speak to one of the greatest really important part of the general scopes that can detect earth-sized planets names in cosmology. advance of science.’ in other solar systems. ‘It would be He was not the seven foot giant I had Focused and successful, I imagined extremely insightful and attract wide expected. Austere-looking, but actually him at our age, staring up at the sky, just interest if we can point to a star and say very approachable, he immediately set knowing he wanted to be an astronomer. that star has around it a planet like the me at my ease in his huge rooms over- But I’d got it wrong again – in fact he earth.’ looking the Chapel. I began with his had much in common with many of us. He sees having to explain his work to string of book publications in the last Sir Martin read Maths at Trinity, but non-scientists as a very good thing, to few years. Apparently the material was didn’t want to be a straight mathemati- avoid the occupational risk of becoming already there in a piecemeal way but his cian, enjoying a more applied style of over-specialised. Through writing and attitude to writing is suprising for some- thinking. For a long time he was torn talking he can also explore the ‘bigger one so distinguished. ‘I don’t enjoy it at between Ecomonics and Astrophysics. questions’, which is why you really all’. His particularly providential decision should take a look at his new book’s So I asked him what else drives him in to go for astrophysics, in the melting pot unusual perspective. ‘Even if we have his work. ‘I think the answer is the same of the late 1950s, is one from which we final equations for the universe, we will Martin Rees’ latest book, Our Cosmic Habitat, was pub- as you’d get if you asked a fossil hunter can learn: ‘Some advice I could give to never know what breathes life into lished last week. the same question – because it’s a worth- anyone starting research is to try and them.’ i To infinity but not back again Gabrielle Bradfield reviews Amir Aczel’s The Mystery of the Aleph: Mathematics, the Kabbalah, and the search for Infinity Can a human being contemplate the ber theory. But as he pushed back the bers like square roots and π. So how the light and saw many gods instead of nature of infinity and survive to tell the boundaries of theoretical understand- could it be that there are different levels one. The third lost his mind when he tale? Amir D. Aczel, author of the best- ing, he raised the ghosts of fundamental of infinity? How many levels of infinity could not reconcile ordinary life with selling Fermat’s Last Theorem, tackles questions that have been asked by actually are there? And are they mathe- his vision. this question in his new book, The human thinkers from time immemori- matically related to one another? These The writings of the Kabbalists appear Mystery of the Aleph: Mathematics, al. disarmingly simple questions proved to to have much in common with those of Kabbalah and the Search for Infinity. Cantor ended his life at a small men- be highly controversial and almost later mathematicians. So, sadly, do their With a broadly historical approach, the tal hospital to which he had returned impossible to solve. tales of mental imbalance. Aczel por- book encompasses a whirlwind tour of with ever-increasing frequency as time But, as Aczel explains, it is not only trays these mathematicians with number theory, an introduction to mys- progressed. His bouts of depression and mathematicians who have pondered the poignancy and passion. How is it that tical religious thought and a fascinating insanity seemed to follow no specific mysteries of infinity. Mystical Jewish man can meditate on a reality beyond analysis of the life and work of the problem except for one factor: each thinkers of the Kabbalah have been the limitations of his own mind? What mathematician Georg Cantor. time Cantor was admitted to the Halle addressing the issue for centuries. But does this tell us about the nature of It is within Cantor’s story that we find Nervenklinik, he had been working on traditionally, laymen have been discour- God, if indeed there is a God? How can these disparate threads drawn together. what he called ‘his continuum prob- aged from pursuing Kabbalah too numbers and spirituality be so closely This is the story of a deeply complicat- lem.’ He wanted to find out the rela- deeply for fear that it will drive them to related? In The Mystery of the Aleph, ed man – a mathematical genius, a man tionship between the different types of insanity. Aczel relates the story of four Amir D.Aczel raises all these questions with a short fuse and bitter enemies, infinity he had identified. It appeared great scholars who attempted to medi- without letting the complexity of the and a man willing to engage in a battle that although there were an infinite tate on the nature of the infinite. Only subject matter cloud his clear style. It for understanding that would ultimate- number of discrete counting numbers one survived the experience. Of the might sound unlikely, but this is actual- ly drive him to insanity. Born in (1,2,3,4…), there were infinitely more other three, “one gazed at the infinite ly a very easy read and one which will Germany in 1845, Cantor was a num- ‘real’ numbers lying continuously light and died, for his soul so longed for leave you with plenty to think over – ber theorist who cut his academic teeth between each of the counting numbers. it that he instantly shed his physical whether you are a mathematician, or an immersed in some of the most dramat- This higher level of infinity includes all body and was no more;” another artist interested in finding out about the Published by Pocket Books ic developments in the history of num- the fractions, as well as irrational num- became a heretic after he looked into more poetic side of mathematics. ETHICS: SHOULD THE MORNING AFTER PILL BE MORE AVAILABLE? The morning after pill should be available Safety worries and unpleasent side-effects: is over the counter, argues Amy Lawrence it really worth the risk? asks Hannah Fuller When asked, nine out of ten women Time is crucial – the longer the delay The morning after pill is a form of emer- sea and twenty percent vomiting. having an abortion said they would before taking this pill, the less effective gency contraception that is becoming an However, more seriously, there is an have taken the morning after pill, had it will be, say researchers at the World increasingly popular method of birth increased risk of ectopic pregnancy, blood they known how to get it. So why did- Health Organisation. In fact, the control. We assume that because it is clots in the lungs and legs, heart attacks, n’t they? window is very small... the chance of widely available, it must be safe – but liver tumours, gall bladder disease and Fortunately, pharmacists in Britain conception is increased by 50% if it there is striking evidence that this is not high blood pressure. are now allowed to give out the morn- is taken more than twelve hours the case. If the morning after pill were readily ing after pill to women over 16 years of after sex. So putting more time- Both the normal contraceptive pill and available, more women would rely on it age. This makes it much more accessi- wasting obstacles in the way of the morning after pill contain the hor- as a standard form of contraception. A ble to people who don’t want to visit people who need it will make mones oestrogen and progesterone. A fif- serious problem with this is that it offers their family doctor or can’t get to a it much less effective. teen-year-old girl recently died from a no protection against sexually transmit- family planning clinic. Pharmacists In 1998 there were nearly a quarter stroke as a result of taking the normal ted diseases, including AIDS. don’t just give it out to anybody who of a million abortions in Britain. With contraceptive pill – the morning There have been no long-term studies asks; they have to adhere to a the introduction of this new scheme, after pill is six times as strong. to show whether women are permanent- Government procedure which includes we can be sure this statistic will There are several unpleasant side ly damaged, or at increased risk from can- making sure the woman takes the first decrease. effects from taking the morning after pill. cer as a result of taking such high doses of tablet in their presence. Fifty percent of women suffer from nau- chemicals. Is it really worth the risk? outlook interview 18 January 2002 18 fashion science www.varsity.cam.ac.uk focus Encounter with a volunteer cyborg Jochen L Leidner reviews Kevin Warwick’s guest lecture at Trinity and discovers the weird world of cyborgs Kevin Warwick, the first human ever to tacles, implanting a transmitter, or hav- tures or written letters? Could we guage we emit or whether we rather have a non-medical artificial transmitter ing an artificial heart? To really become remote-control our cars or other techni- think in and with our native human lan- implanted under his skin, says he was a cyborg, Warwick thinks there must be cal devices with just our thoughts, and if guage only. simply curious about how it would feel interaction between biology and device, so, how could we clearly distinguish To Dr Warwick, his experiment is a to have an artificial part to his body. So and the human being should be ‘extend- between a fleeting notion which isn’t first step that needs to be done in order in 1998 he found out. For a couple of ed’ in some way, for example by improv- intended to cause any action and a to know more about cyborg life and, days, he lived with a tiny device that ing perception or memory. ‘thought-command?’ Remember, even eventually, to enter a new age. He is sent out signals location signals around Warwick aims to invent devices that Captain Kirk had to touch the willing to face possible long term injury his lab. His computer would greet him can be controlled just by the operator Enterprise logo on his shirt or say including loss of feeling, paralysis or accordingly when he walked into the thinking about using it in a particular 'Computer' to signal the start of a com- continual pain should the implants office. way. He screened a video showing the munications event. It is hoped that adversely affect his nervous system. As Next month Dr Warwick, the effects on a patient with Parkinson’s dis- research into thought-controlled devices he said during the lecture, "The excite- Professor of Cybernetics at Reading ease of installing an implant to counter- could shed some light on the question of ment of looking over the horizon into a University, is to volunteer for a second act abnormal neural impulses. Before whether there is an internal language of new world – the world of cyborgs – far implantation experiment. If his univer- the device was switched on the subject thought that is distinct from the lan- outweighs the risks." sity’s ethics committee agrees, he wants could not walk or stand unaided and to have a battery-driven sensor-actor showed characteristic Parkinsonian device implanted into his left arm so he tremors. When the switch was thrown, can record and 'play back' neural data. If he stood up, walked around and showed this works, he wants his wife Irena to no signs of illness. But although some have a similar operation performed on similar products (such as a brain-con- her, so he could have signals from her trolled computer mouse) have already arm transferred to his and vice versa. His been commercially developed for people ultimate aims lie with the idea of hybrid with disabilities, we cannot hope for fur- human-machine beings, and he wants to ther developments until we gain a more see them realised as soon as possible. detailed model for how the brain works. The term cybernetics was coined in At the moment, nobody knows where 1934 from the Greek for ‘helmsman’ to specific thoughts are located within the name a young interdisciplinary field brain and how thoughts are related to aiming to establish a unified theory of the electro-chemical signals we can regulation and control in systems. The observe using scanning machines. concept of a cyborg (from 'cybernetic This type of work raises several inter- organism') was first used in 1960 to esting questions about the nature of our describe hybrids which might be useful brains and our thoughts. Would it be as assistants during long space travels in possible to communicate brain-to-brain, the future. So where does man end and without having to encode our thoughts When Kevin Warwick underwent an operation to have this tiny transmitter implanted cyborg begin? What about wearing spec- mechanically, by producing sounds, ges- under his arm, he claimed it made him into the closest thing we have to a cyborg. 18 January 2002 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk LISTINGS 19

9pm. St Columbas Halls 4 Downing MISC Dance to 4hrs of funk’n’cheese in MISC 18/01/02 FRIDAY 18 Place, Camb. CB1, St Columbas Halls. • Cambridge Dancer’s Club: your favourite uniform, from • Ballroom and Latin Dancing 6pm. £5 studensts £4. Beginners Ballroom Classes, Tu- Schoolgirl to Superhero. St. John’s Absolute Beginners Class: £10 to FILM MUSIC Thu, arrive 7.15pm. St Columba’s College, Fisher Building. 9pm. £4. join; £1.20 per class. St Alban’s • ARTS: • Kettles Yard: LUNCHTIME CON- Church Halls, Downing Place, Off • The Junction CDC: Faster School Hall, behind the Catholic 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 MONSOON CERT. Free concerts programmed Pembroke St. 1pm. £1.20. Pussycat: UK Garage featuring DJ Church, Lensfield Road. 7:30pm. WEDDING (15) by students. Kettle’s Yard, . • Cambridge University Judo Luck MC Neat 10-3am. The • Ballroom and Latin Dancing 2.10, 5.20, 8.30 VA SAVOIR (PG) 1:10pm. Club: Open to all men and women. Junction , . 10pm. £8/9. Absolute Beginners Class: £10 to 12.45, 7.00 AMELIE (15) • The Junction CDC: Boogie Fenner’s Gym, Gresham Road. • The Sandpaper Sessions: a join; £1.20 per class. St Columba’s 3.00 SECTIONE SPECIALE (15) Wonderland: 70s and 80s Disco 6pm. musical orgy of electronica & the Church Hall, Downing Place. 5.10, 9.10 ELOGE DE L'AMOUR Extravaganza 10 -2am. The • CUCDW: BREAKIN’ WORKSHOP avantgarde. King’s College, enter 7:30pm. (PG) Junction , 10pm. £3.50/5.50adv WITH THE SIN CRU. Park Side via chetwynd room. 7:30pm. £1. • Belly dance: Belly dance for 10.50pm LAPUTA (15) and after 11. Community College, Gym. 2pm. intermediates. Powerful art form. £5 (3 for members). Improvisation and choreography. . MISC THEATRE • The Joint Committee on King’s College, Chetwynd room. • Cambridge Dancer’s Club: • Wicked Theatre/Big Jacket: Childcare for Students: SUNDAY 20 6pm. £conc.. Beginners Ballroom Classes, Tu-Thu, AUDITIONS: SHOPPING + Information event for all student • Belly Dance: Belly dance for arrive 7.15pm. St Columba’s Church F***ING parents studying at Cambridge. FILM absolute beginners. Relaxing and Halls, Downing Place, Off Pembroke [week 5 show CCCPlayroom]. New Hall, Long Room. 2:30pm. • ARTS fun. King’s College, Chetwynd St. 1pm. £1.20. Robinson College, check p’lodge • The Pembroke College Winnie- 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 MON- room. 7:30pm. £conc. • Cambridge Union: Comedy night at for room. 2pm. The-Pooh Society: Elevenses SOON WEDDING (15) • Cambridge Dancer’s Club: Union Bar, with Footlight performanc- Meeting - including TEA and 1.00 KIKI'S DELIVERY SERVICE (U) Beginners Ballroom Classes, Tu- es. Union Society, Union Bar. 8:30pm. CAKE!!! please bring a mug. 5.00 LUCIE AUBRAC (12) Thu, arrive 7.15pm. St Columba’s • Hughes Hall Ents: WELCOME BACK Emmanuel College, Z7, North 7.00 SYMPOSIUM Church Halls, Downing Place, Off BOP - Cheese and cheap drinks. SATURDAY 19 Court. 4pm. 3.00, 9.10 ELOGE DE L'AMOUR Pembroke St. 1pm. £1.20. Hughes Hall, Bar. 9pm. £Free for HH, (PG) • Latin Dancing Absolute £2 non-HH. FILM MUSIC 2.00 KOSINTSEV'S HAMLET (PG) Beginners Class: £10 to join; • Jewish Society: FRIDAY NIGHT DIN- • ARTS • Cambridge University Chamber 5.20, 8.30 VA SAVOIR (PG) £1.20 per class. St Paul’s School NER - eat, drink and relax. Including 11am KIDS CLUB DR DOLITTLE 2 (PG) Orchestra: Schubert Unfinished • Christ’s Films AMERICAN PIE 2: Hall, Coronation Street. 7pm. wine to welcome everyone back. . stu- 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 MON- Symphony, Mahler Das Lied Von ‘It’s all about sticking together’ dent centre, Thompson’s Lane. SOON WEDDING (15) der Erde. Great St. Marys, . 8pm. More pie.. Christs College, New MUSIC 7:30pm. 2.10, 5.20, 8.30 VA SAVOIR (PG) • Green Mind: The Broken Family Court Theatre. 8pm. £2. • The Junction CDC: The Rollins • www.cambridgesalsa.com: Salsa 12.45, 7.00 AMELIE (15) Band + Blusher + The Folk • Christ’s Films AMERICAN PIE 2: Band: The legendary rockstar dance classes every Friday. Absolute 3.00 L'ESPOIR (PG) Orchestra. The Portland Arms, . ‘It’s all about sticking together’ Henry Rollins. The Junction , . 8pm. beginners/improv. 5.10, 9.10 ELOGE DE L'AMOUR (PG) 8pm. £4. More pie... . Christs College, New £11/12. 6-7.30pm. Interm/advanced 7.30- 10.50pm LAPUTA (15) • St. John’s Ents: UNIFORMITY: Court Theatre. 10:30pm. £2. • St John’s Films: Amélie (15). TALK 7pm and 10pm. • Jewish Society: Studies with Auditions For The Musical http://come.to/johnsfilms. St. Buddies, 9 classes on offer from John’s College, Fisher Building. Kook, via myth and Bible to Godspell 7pm. £2.00. Talmud. The CUlanu Centre, 33 A Week Seven Production at Bridge Street (between Oxfam and Fitzwilliam College CLARE HALL, CAMBRIDGE MISC the Galleria. 7pm. • Cambridge Dancer’s Club: Auditions to be held at TANNER LECTURES 10 – 3 Saturday 19th January Beginners Ballroom Classes, Tu- 12 – 3 Sunday 20th January Thu, arrive 7.15pm. St Columba’s TUESDAY 22 In the Fitz Music Room SEAMUS HEANEY Church Halls, Downing Place, Off Please Come with a Song Prepared “Staying Power” Pembroke St. 1pm. £1.20. • C.U. Karate Demonstration: Free FILM For Further Information Please Contact Demo & intro class with Chief • ARTS Jack Ashby (Producer) jda26 Monday 4th February 2002, 5.00pm or Laura Bowers (Director) lb266 Homiletic Elegy: Beowulf and Wilfred Owen Instructor. Wear loose clothing. 1.30 THE INSIDER (15) Lady Mitchell Hall, Sidgwick Site, Cambridge Fenners Gym (Gresham Road), . 4.20, 6.30, 9.00 MONSOON 2pm. WEDDING (15) Tuesday 5th February 2002, 4.00pm • Samatha Meditation: Meditation 2.10, 8.30 VA SAVOIR (PG) On Pastoral: Starting from Virgil classes for everyone. No charge. 6.00 CRIMSON PIG (12) Lady Mitchell Hall, Sidgwick Site, Cambridge Darwin College, Old Library. 8pm. 1.30 MONSOON WEDDING (15) • Soraya’s 8-week Beg. Oriental 5.10 ELOGE DE L'AMOUR (PG) Tuesday 5th February 2002, 5.45pm Belly Dance Course: Learn how this 3.30, 9.15 MAN IN THE WHITE On Pastoral: Eclogues inextremis beautiful ancient dance can get SUIT (U) Lady Mitchell Hall, Sidgwick Site, Cambridge you in shape and be fun!. Wednesday 6th February 2002, 10.00am Ð 4.00pm Cambridge YMCA, Pye Room, LESBIGAY Full day discussion Seminar info:[email protected]. 6pm. • Phoneline: Confidential The Auditorium, Robinson College, Cambridge £36Students, £40non-students. LesBiGay phoneline. (7)40777. 8- 10pm. CUSU, . 8pm. All are warmly invited to the Lectures on Monday and Tuesday. The Wednesday Seminar is a ticketed event, for free tickets please call 01223 332368 or email [email protected] MISC MONDAY 21 • Ballroom and Latin Dancing Absolute Beginners Class: £10 to FILM join; £1.20 per class. St Columba’s CUMS CONDUCTOR CUMS CONCERTO • ARTS Church Hall, Downing Place. 7:30pm. 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 MON- • Cambridge Dancer’s Club: AUDITIONS 2002 COMPETITION SOON WEDDING (15) Beginners Ballroom Classes, Tu- 2.10, 5.20, 8.30 VA SAVOIR (PG) Thu, arrive 7.15pm. St Columba’s CUMS invites conductors to 2002 12.45, 3.00 AMELIE (15) Church Halls, Downing Place, Off apply for the posts of Assistant 5.10, 9.10 ELOGE DE L'AMOUR Pembroke St. 1pm. £1.20. Conductor Conductor CUMS CUMS invites instrumentalists to (PG) • Cambridge University Judo II Wind Orchestra Conductor audition for the opportunity to 7.00 NAUSICAA OF THE VALLEY Club: Open to all Men and for the Academic Year play a concerto with one of our OF THE WIND (PG) Women. Fenner’s Gym, Gresham Road. 8pm. 2002/2003 orchestras during the academic year 2002/2003.Applicants should LESBIGAY • HITCH TO MOROCCO MEETING: • CUSU LesBiGay: Mixed Weekly You can still register! First Meeting The auditions will be held on still be studying at Cambridge dur- LesBiGay social. Grad Pad, . 9pm. this term!. Hogshead Pub , Regent Wednesday 6 February, when you will ing that year. be asked to work with CUMS 2 for Str., nr. Parkers Piece. 7pm. about 12 minutes on the last move- Apply by sending your recital pro- ment of Tchaikowsky's 5th symphony. gramme lasting not more than 12 CFTV Proudly Invites Please apply by sending your letter of minutes, plus your performance CV, CUCA Presents: Submissions Of Short application and CV to the CUMS to the CUMS secretary by Jan 26th: Films (No Longer Than 15 secretary by 26 January: Maggie Heywood, Douglas Hurd Mins) For “Camerada”, [email protected] The Student Short Film Maggie Heywood, Tel/Fax 01223 365110 Former Foreign Secretary Competition. [email protected] on World Politics Tel/Fax 01223 365110 The competition will be held on All Levels of Expertise Welcome 12 and/or 15 February. Thursday 24th January Submit on DV Tape Or VHS To Check out details at Check out details at Charlie Phillips (Trinity Hall) www.cums.org.uk 1:30 LSR Trinity Hall www.cums.org.uk Enquiries: CRP28 18 January 2002 20 LISTINGS www.varsity.cam.ac.uk

MUSIC LESBIGAY TALK • Ballroom and Latin Dancing • Salsa Dancing - Absolute • The Cheese Factory Jam: Local • King’s LBG Night: Popular mixed • CUJS: Does Religion Screw up our Absolute Beginners Class: £10 to join; Beginners Class: £10 to join; session/student players bring you social with cheese music. Mental Health? Professors £1.20 per class. St Columba’s Church £1.20 per class. St Paul’s School the best in live jazz. The Man On Undergrads and postgrads welcome. Loewenthal, and Weiss. The CUlanu Hall, Downing Place. 9pm. Hall, Coronation Street. 8pm. The Moon, Norfolk Street, Cambs., King’s College, Cellar Bar. 9:30pm. Centre, 33 Bridge Street (between • Cambridge Dancer’s Club: • students@HTChurch: CEILDH! a see www.thecheesefactory.co.uk. Oxfam and The Galleria), voluntary Beginners Ballroom Classes, Tu-Thu, barn dance without the barn.. ALL 8:30pm. £2/£1 for musicians. MISC contribution £2. 8pm. arrive 7.15pm. St Columba’s Church students welcome.. St. Andrews • Argentine Tango Dancing - Halls, Downing Place, Off Pembroke Street Baptist Church Hall, . 8pm. TALK Beginners Course: £10 to join; £1.20 St. 1pm. £1.20. £3 (on door). • CUJS: CUlanu film night, per class. Stoneyard Center, St THURSDAY 24 • Cambridge University Judo Club: • Students@HT: CEILDH! A barn ‘Captain Correlli’s Mandolin’ with Andrew’s Street. 7pm. Open to both men and women. dance without the barn.. for all stu- chocolate and popcorn galore!!. • Cambridge Dancer’s Club: FILM Fenner’s Gym, Gresham Road. 8pm. dents. St. Andrews Street Baptist The CUlanu Centre, 33 bridge Beginners Ballroom Classes, Tu-Thu, •ARTS • HITCH TO MOROCCO DROP-IN: 5- Church Hall, . 8pm. £3. Street, . 9:30pm. arrive 7.15pm. St Columba’s Church 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 MON- 6pm-Drop-In for help with Fundraising • Inter-Disciplinary Group, Halls, Downing Place, Off Pembroke SOON WEDDING (15) or Registration! . The Anchor, MUSIC Faculty of Divinity: St. 1pm. £1.20. 2.10, 5.20, 8.30 VA SAVOIR (PG) Opposite Queens College. 5pm. • CU Band Night: A feast of uni- Prof. Nancy van Deusen: • Latin Dancing Absolute Beginners 1.00, 5.10, 9.10 ELOGE DE • Salsa Dancing - Absolute Beginners versity talent. DYNAMO + Pretty Music and Theology. Class: £10 to join; £1.20 per class. St L'AMOUR (PG) Class: £10 to join; £1.20 per class. St Vacant & Littleworld. . —————, Reception following. Paul’s School Hall, Coronation Street. 3.00 AS YOU LIKE IT (U) Paul’s School Hall, Coronation Street. 129 Chesterton Street. 8:30pm. All Welcome. Faculty of Divinity 7pm. 7.00 LA BATTAILE DU RAIL (15) 7pm. £3. Building, Room specified in Foyer. • Offbeat: Stage Dancing: £10 to • Christ’s Films THE BIRDS: Classic 4:30pm. join; £1.20 per class. St Matthew’s Hitchcock thriller. Christs College, School Hall, Broad Street. 9pm. New Court Theatre. 10pm. £2. • St John’s Films: The Man Who DOES MUSIC Wasn’t There (15). WEDNESDAY 23 • Anglia Sinfonia: Symphony and http://come.to/johnsfilms. St. Chorus Concert of music by Percy John’s College, Fisher Building. RELIGION FILM Grainger. Emmanual United Reform 9pm. £2.00. •ARTS Church, Cambridge, . 7:30pm. £8, SCREW UP YOUR 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 MON- £5 conc. MISC SOON WEDDING (15) • Emmanuel College Music Society: • Ballroom and Latin Dancing MENTAL 2.10, 5.20, 8.30 VA SAVOIR (PG) New Year Concert. Featuring music Absolute Beginners Class: £10 to 1.00, 3.00, 5.10, 9.10 ELOGE DE by Handel, Schubert and join; £1.20 per class. St HEALTH? L'AMOUR (PG) Rachmaninov. Emmanuel College, Columba’s Church Hall, Downing (fundamentalism@ religion@ and 7.00 SILENCE DE LA MER (15) Queen’s Building. 8pm. £2/£1. Place. 9pm. mental well being)

WEDNESDAY +RD JAN 8PM The Pembroke Kings The CUlanu Centre Players Contemporary SOCIETY  Bridge St INVITES SUBMISSIONS OF Announce auditions for (between Oxfam D the Dance Project STUDENT PLAYSCRIPTS FOR A Galleria) Two Week 7 Shows SERIES OF 2002 NEW WRITING Professor Kate Max Frisch’s 6th Week ADC Late WORKSHOPS Loewanthal “Fireraisers” Show CONTACT JACK THORNE Rabbi Abner Weiss (JT251) BY 24TH JAN (Contact Suresh: Interviews for For more info email Simon on sae+ spp31) Choreographers: and Saturday 19th 4-6pm AUDITIONS No. 22 Parkside invite “Monkey” Are you a budding conductor? for the 7th week double bill of AUDITIONS -Devised new writing- Pieces should be no longer If so, CUSO wants YOU! 'Play' + '3 Figures, for Michael Frayn’s (contact Henry: hab33) than 5 minutes in length CUSO’s annual conductor auditions will be held on the evening of Monday 4th February and must be submitted for at Creation' Apply by sending a CV to Caroline Rushby, DONKEY’S YEARS Auditions for both: consideration by the 19th at Caius, Sat 19th & Sun Pembroke College Emmanuel College email [email protected] Sat 19th & Sun 20th More Info: 20th January Gardner Room - Sat 19th Please email Jami (jwmc2) Application Deadline: Friday 25th January 2–6pm [email protected] CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY Upper Hall - Sun 20th Pembroke New Cellars for more information SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA 3 - 6pm

Auditions Galileo Selwyn Touring Christ’s Films “L’Avenir Est Dans Les announces a comic opera written by and Theatre Oeufs” & + Short Plays in AUDITIONS starring Sunday 20th Jan for Invites Applications for 8pm & 10:30pm French by Ianesco FUENTE OVEJUNO Director and Lead Roles for AMERICAN PIE 2 The Playroom • Mainshow• By Lope de Vega Sir Patrick Moore To be performed in the Playroom a Week 8 touring French Week 8 Week 7 Main Show language Production of Thursday 24th Jan 10pm Sat %&th & Sun +)th January Sat 19th January 10am–1pm, 2pm–5pm Auditions: Benson Hall, Magdalene Jean Cocteau’s ‘La THE BIRDS %–,pm Sun 20th January 10am-1pm, 2pm-5pm 10am-4pm 19th and 20th Machine Infernale’ New Court Theatre, Christ’s Juniour Parlour Trinity Emmanuel College Please bring something to sing £2 inc. raffle for wine Large ensemble cast required Contact pam53 before contact : mc33 Contact Dan Barnard (db315) Contact: cjl46 07808 167288 Sunday www.christs.cam.ac.uk/cfilms

The Playroom announces THE FLETCHER PLAYERS AUDITIONS announce auditions for their week 6 production ‘NUTS’ announces for a Week  production of ANNOUNCES AUDITIONS FOR to be shown at the Corpus AUDITIONS Artaud’s “The Cenci” JUMPERS BY TOM STOPPARD Christi College Playroom for Peter Shaffer’s Sarte’s “The Respectable O N THE FITZPATRICK Black Comedy Prostitute” STAGE The play is part of the National Theatre festival, INTERNATION- (a farce) SATURDAY 19TH 10Ð4 Sat %&th Jan: %)am – %%am AL CONNECTIONS and being Week 5 Late Show Sun +)th Jan: ,:) – -pm SUNDAY 20TH 2Ð7 staged in association with Monday 21st • Tuesday 22nd Mon +%st Jan: , – -pm CONTACT: [email protected] Cambridge Arts Theatre 2pm – 6pm all at Old Labs Newnham IF INTERESTED IN TECH Queens’ College London Transfer Options Available Sat 19th 12–6 Corpus Christi Playroom CONTACT [email protected] St Edwards’ Passage email: kas44 contact: jat3- contact Anna Jones arj25 18 January 2002 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk LISTINGS 21

• Kettle’s Yard: SUBSCRIPTION Community Hall, Hills Road (oppo- down to write. Find out about pro- CONCERT. Paul Lewis - Piano. FRIDAY 25 site Homerton College). 8pm. £1 duction and photography oopurtu- Kettle’s Yard, . 8pm. £8.50 for 5 non-members. nities. Have a few drinks at the GODS auditions for Concerts. same time. See page 14 for further MUSIC THEATRE details. River Bar. 8pm till late “The Hound of TALK • Kettles Yard: LUNCHTIME CON- • Madhouse/Gods: ‘The • CUCA: Former Foreign Secretary, CERT. Free concerts programmed Caucasian Chalk Circle’ by Bertolt The Douglas Hurd, talks about world by students. Kettle’s Yard, . Brecht. Churchill College, Wolfson politics in 2002. Trinity Hall, Leslie 1:10pm. Hall. 7:30pm. £4.50. CLASSIFIED Baskervilles” Stephen Room. 1:30pm. • The Junction CDC: Boogie • The Junction CDC: Creaking To be performed at Wolfson Theatre • Kettle’s Yard: LUNCHTIME TALK. Wonderland: 70s and 80s Disco Shadows: Masked horror about RESEARCHER Student with interest Churchill,Week 8 ‘Construction by Naum Gabo’ by Extravaganza 10 -2am. The Edgar Allan Poe’s terrifying genius. in public affairsneeded occasional- Sebastiano Barassi. Kettle’s Yard, . Junction , . 10pm. £3.50/5.50adv The Cambridge Drama Centre, ly for sorting and research. Terms Saturday 19th 2-4pm 1:10pm. and after 11. Covent Garden, off Mill Road. by arrangement. Ring john Winstanley Lecture Theatre,Trinity 8pm. £8/5.50. Wakelin 01954 267326 Sunday 20th 2-4pm THEATRE TALK Churchill • Madhouse/Gods: ‘The • Cambridgeshire Bird Club: MISC CLASSIFIED INFORMATION: Caucasian Chalk Circle’ by Bertolt “Wildlife in Kenya and Tanzania” • Varsity: Varsity Squash. Find out Classifieds cost £5 for 20 words. Crew also Required Brecht. Churchill College, Wolfson talk by Tony Morris. St. Johns about contributing, sign your name Contact Varsity for further info. Contact ejb47 for more information Hall. 7:30pm. £4.50.

Now! In conjunction The Fletcher Players and Shadwell The Fifth Glorious MAY ANTHOLOGY 2002 Smørgåsbord Desires Submission deadline: 21st January ACTORS to perform in an exciting showcase for new stage writing. AUDITIONS on the 26th and 27th Jan, 2-4pm, room i6, Corpus Christi College * * * For details of how to submit see Page 37 DON’T FORGET! Deadline for script submissions: 23rd Jan Deliver your secret masterpiece of dramatic compression to Anna Jones@Corpus, with your name written clearly, on the cover, and nowhereon the script itself.

REDS announces AUDITIONS Cambridge for the week 5 Mainshow “OVER THE EDGE” University a dark comedy Chamber Sunday 20th 2–6pm Gardner Room, Emmanuel College Orchestra Monday 21st 3–7pm January 19th 8pm Old JCR, Emmanel College Great St Marys Contact: Tim Frogatt (tgf20) Tickets: for details £12, £8, £3, Conc £6, £1 Schubert - Symphony No. 8 - Unfinished PEMBROKE PLAYERS Mahler - arr. Required: Singers and a Percussionist Schoenberg - Das Lied for a Week 5 production of Von Der Erde OEDIPUS Soprano - Catherine Carby at the ADC Theatre Tenor - Andrew Kennedy if interested, please email James Lark (jcl41) with a brief CV of (Sponsored by Price relevant experience. Waterhouse Coopers)

THE PETERHOUSE MAY Aviva BALL COMMITTEE INVITES Zornberg AUDITIONS (World Famous Bible Scholar) FOR ALL SOLO/GROUP MUSICAL ACTS AND OTHER will speak in the synagogue ENTERTAINERS at 3 Thompsons Lane 11–6 JANUARY 19TH Friday 25 January at 4:30pm THE MUSIC ROOM + Shabbat 26 January at 12pm PETERHOUSE

Checking Listings??? Check Online www.varsity.cam.ac.uk 18 January 2002 22 LISTINGS www.varsity.cam.ac.uk CLARE BATS CELLARS announces AUDITIONS for their week 7 main- REOPENS show Fri: Def Fly & Real Kela (Beat Box) + DJ Vadim (Jazz Look Back in Anger Fudge Recordings) by John Osbourne

Sat: Fat Poppadaddy’s DJs Daz & Pete – Funky Cheese Saturday 12 – 5 Sunday 12 – 5 Sun: Clare Jazz Presents The Josh Kemp Quartet Angevin Room, Classy Contemporary Jazz Queens College

Details: pjg21 Doors: 9pm / Tax £4 Arrive Early, Bring Student ID or 07721 954445 www.clare-ents.com www.varsity.cam.ac.uk

CU G+S SOCIETY AUDITIONS for Chorus Parts in our Arts Theatre Ever thought: Shows in Rep, Week 7 Candide (Bernstein) Sat 19th Jan 12-2 Newnham Old Labs The Sorceror (G+S) “I could do Sun 20 Jan 12-3 Newnham Old Labs

Bring something to sing if you like Contact Anna ah295 or Rose krh27 that”?

Outlook Productions and Brickhouse Theatre Company Come to the Varsity announce Auditions for a production of Hamlet Squash – See Page Sat 19th and Sun 20th January 1-5pm Games Room, Robinson College 14 for details Week 5 Cambridge and London Contact Ed (emdr2) or Caroline (ceb56)

LISTINGSARE FREE & SHOULD BE SUBMITTED BY 3PM MONDAYS, VIA OUR WEBSITE (www.varsity.cam.ac.uk)

FOR EVENTS ONLY. WE DO NOT GUARANTEE THAT ALL LISTINGS WILL APPEAR

BOX ADSCOST FROM £20.00, DEADLINE 3PM MONDAYS. TO BOOK, COME TO THE VARSITY BUSINESS OFFICE AT 11-12 TRUMPINGTON STREET PAYMENT (BY CHEQUE OR CASH) SHOULD BE MADE WITH BOOKING 18 January 2002 outlook interview focus www.varsity.cam.ac.uk fashion science 23 PYJAMA PARTY leepovers are a female rite of passage. If your parents were liberal, they let you have mixed sex pyjama parties and went out How many for the evening. If not, they sat in the sitting room whilst you tried not to spill coca-cola on your bedroom carpet and con- Sducted the inevitable game of truth or dare in a whisper. You painted your toenails and did each other’s hair. You did makeovers and read magazines. You talked about who fancied who and watched videos. Some time in the early morning, you people have curled up on the floor and tried to sleep. Then, once you were about 16, you started to look old enough to sneak into pubs, and so gave up on sleepovers. They deserve a revival. Getting dressed up and going out is great. But when you can’t be bothered thinking about how you look you slept with and making scintillating conversation with new people, there is nothing more comforting than pyjamas, duvets, old friends and teddy bears. Sitting on someone’s bed, laughing and eating toast until all hours of the morning is the perfect antidote to winter recently? and work anxiety. Forget about fashion. Put your pyjamas on and take it easy. Katharine Hibbert

Present at our sleepover were Joelle (pyjama bottoms, Debenhams; top, Sanrio; slipper socks, Cambridge market), Bryony, (pyjamas, Gap), Imri (kimono, Little Tokyo, San Francisco; pyjamas, market in Jerusalem; slippers, Discount Shoes, Cambridge), Oli (hoodie, Firetrap; boxers, Marks and Spencer), Colleen (pyjamas, J. Crew), Sarah (tracksuit bottoms, Marks and Spencer; Marilyn t-shirt, charity shop), Connie (dressing gown, China; thermal vest, Urban Outfitters), Marcus and Chris (next page - matching pyjamas, Marks and Spencer). Bed linen and tea cups, Katharine’s Grandma’s loft. Photos: Emily Haworth-Booth outlook interview 18 January 2002 24 fashion science www.varsity.cam.ac.uk focus Nightie nights

hen I was about 16 I was always terrified that the object of my desire might call round one day and see me in my pyjamas. This would have been the ultimate humiliation. Some people would Whave said that they felt naked without their make-up or their handbag, or even without their clothes – but I felt naked when I was wearing my pyjamas. I hated them. As far as I was concerned, my night- wear consistently undermined any effort I made during the day. Any glamorous impression I might once have made would have been toppled by one glance at my hideous nighttime self. The problem was that my pyja- mas weren’t really pyjamas. They were a strange, utterly practical mish-mash of flannel trousers handed down from my cousins, an old night-shirt inherited from my dad (I somehow never had a matching top-and-bot- tom set), underneath which I might have on a grossly over-sized promotional t-shirt brought back by one of my parents from a business trip, and then one or two even tackier sweatshirts bought on holiday in Florida in the early eighties over the top. Add to this spot-cream, hair which refused to grow in one direction, a den- tal retainer, and ridiculous bright red bed-socks. I blamed my family – for introducing all these weird gar- ments into my life, myself – for never being committed enough to glamour to chuck out anything that did- n’t match, or had holes in it, or just looked plain ghastly, and the British climate – for making it absolutely necessary to wrap myself up in layers like an Egyptian mummy. For how was it ever going to be possible to be sultry and lacy in a country where a negligee could only be worn with a pair of tracksuit bottoms and a poncho. Where, if your skin ever did see the light, it would be covered in goose-pimples. And this was the case for me more than most, having a mother whose attitude towards central heating was, “I’ll only put the radiators on once everyone in this house is wearing fifteen jumpers and is still cold”. It got easier to be glamorous once I moved away to my own room, with its own radiator that I could put on whenever I wanted. Also, being at college made it much more likely that I’d accidentally bump into some- one while I was wearing my nightdress. So I began a campaign of terror against my old pyjamas. I introduced, gradually, a whole complement of different nightclothes to my wardrobe. Now my theatre of dress could con- tinue into my night-world. I found a starched Joan-of-Arc white shift at a French flea-market, that makes me feel like a fifteenth century choirboy. I bought a pair of black satin pyjamas on Walthamstow market, which went well with a cigarette and smudged panda eyes, and a pair of pale green silk ones which feel like flowing water on my skin and turn me into an oriental princess. I’ve got a pink southern-belle nightdress with ruf- fles and bows, and a couple of Japanese cotton kimonos that I bind around my waist with a silk scarf. They swish-swish around my feet and make eating a bowl of Shreddies a beautiful experience. Somehow everything seems a little less bad when you’ve got pyjamas you can be proud of. It’s nice know- ing that the Cinderella spell worked by your party-dress isn’t going to wear off when you get into bed, and that if someone knocks on your door in the morning they’ll detract at least a bit from your Medusa hair and fucked up eyeshadow. Tallulah Bankhead, on the other hand, used to open the door with nothing on at all, which probably did the job just as well. Of course, if, like Miss Bankhead, you tend to use boys to keep you warm in bed at night, there’s no reason to miss out on the pyjama fashion-moment. Just put them on when you get up instead… Emily Haworth-Booth

Minds. Wide Open®

THEY’RE CREATING ONE OF THE WORLD’S LARGEST FOOD COMPANIES.

THE IDEA: Advise Unilever and help them raise $24 billion to buy Bestfoods. THE PEOPLE: The analysts, associates, executive and managing directors of Goldman Sachs. THE OUTCOME: The largest ever all-cash, cross-border transaction.

An opportunity to learn more about Summer internships at Goldman Sachs and a career in investment banking.

Please note Summer internships in all divisions are only available to penultimate year students. 1st year students interested in the Fixed Income Currency & Commodities Easter Internship Program are also welcome.

Please join us:

Wednesday, 30 January 2002 Emmanuel College, Queen's Building Lecture Theatre at 6:45pm

Places are limited and therefore not guaranteed, we ask that you confirm your interest by e-mailing [email protected] at least five days prior to the event.

Issued by Goldman Sachs International, regulated by the Securities and Futures Authority. ©Goldman, Sachs & Co., 2001.All rights reserved. 18 January 2002 outlook interview focus www.varsity.cam.ac.uk fashion science 25 It’s snow-joke Into Africa Rob Sharp and Dave Thorley rewiew the Selwyn Snowball Emily Venables travels without a ticket I turned up on my Varsity scooter and tunnel of arms as the panels lit up ty within reach, I took to it like a Morocco for zero pence. Nada. De rien. ‘Please take me to Africa’ is a little opti- took off my Ray-Ban aviators to rap- beneath our feet. The music was good, drunk to water. Shortly after, I deftly Nowt. Yep, the annual charity hitch-hike mistic when you’re on Trumpington turous applause, skidding to a halt in I especially liked Jim and er..the side-stepped his bleary shove at my to Morocco is back with a vengeance. Street at 9am on a Monday morning. front of the porter’s lodge. My date for Jimsters and er…the band with the ribs. Knowing that you’ve hitched 1600 miles Once arriving in Morocco you’re free to the night was late, but I wasn’t going drums as well as some of the DJs I really, really liked and/or loved this from Cambridge to Africa is an exhilarat- bask in the African sun and take in the to let a suspected pregnancy ruin a which entertained me between queu- ball, and would thoroughly recom- ing feeling, and not one easily rivaled. kaleidoscope of colours and hybrid of good time. As I made my way to the ing times at various bars. But boy did mend it to anyone wanting to go to a The Morocco Hitch is the world’s longest cultures as you please. I lay in the midday front of the queue a couple of people I get pissed!! Wow! Decorations!! Christmas ball in the future. “It’s like sponsored hitch-hike, as well as being heat on the roof of my white washed tried to arrest my progress, but they Wow!! Gardeners World: I keep on expecting Link Community Development’s largest hotel overlooking the sea, with an amaz- were soon dealt with by a few able And then we all queued up for the Alan Titmarsh to come round the cor- fund raising event. Every year hundreds ing sense of achievement. You can trek in palms to the face. The programme said survivor’s photo. Having survived, I ner” (an anonymous commentator). of students across the UK take up the the arid Atlas Mountains or do the oblig- that ‘the air was redolent with deli- dutifully appeared to gape happily at Five stars *****. Yes. They had a snow challenge, and raise money to help sus- atory camel trek in the Sahara, sleeping in cious aromas of the finest food in the some Phantom of the Opera drooling machine, wow! I could practice tain the valuable work of LCD in Ghana, the desert sand as the star-filled sky fades kingdom, and the finest wines were from the ceiling. Like A4 sheets filed pulling the birds in the snow, so I Uganda and South Africa. into morning. You can wander though imported by the cart-load from the into a photocopier we heaped onto would be proficient by the time I got I did the hitch last year and it took me Marrakech’s labyrinth of carpet shops, realms of Oddbinium, Thresherland each other and struck the obligatory to Val d’Isere! I spotted a victim, sidled 4 days and 3 nights. 4 days, 3 nights patisserie stalls, olive merchants and and Cambridge Cash and Carry’, and comedy poses. Hawk-like, spotting the up to her and told her that she looked spent gazing out of the window of vari- henna-artists: a bargain hunters’ paradise. I agreed. opportunity to pour beer on the like my arse! She retreated. I really like ous lorries, adrenalin pumping as we got Or, ditch the trusty rucksack for a couple The most important skill that biggest member of the drinking socie- my arse :-( nearer and nearer to our final destination. of hours and relax in a steam bath as your Cambridge University promotes is ‘the I danced to a very bad rendition of ‘I Will travel-weary body is pummeled and mas- willing suspension of disbelief’. The Survive’ on the ferry from Portsmouth saged into bliss, a glass of mint tea await- theme for Selwyn’s Snowball was ‘Fairy with a group of hitchers from Warwick ing you as you step back into reality. tales’: the dining room was trans- who I met at the ferry port. I ran mani- The hitch is exhausting and exhilarat- formed into ‘Cinderella’s Ballroom’, cally around a garage in Marbella in a ing at the same time. The feeling of joy the Junior Common Room became an fairy costume trying to find us a lift, when finally arriving in Tangiers is one ‘Enchanted Forest’ and the bar a ‘Cave much to the amusement of the locals. I that can’t be matched. 11 lifts, 2 ferries of Wonders’. There was very little to was then bought meals by an English and a lot of laughs were all it took to get wonder at in the bar but judging by trucker with a vast selection of porn mag- from Cambridge to Africa. If you want to the number of people who stayed for azines and elevator music, before getting join this years record-breaking hitch, the survivors’ photo people were more a lift with his friend, who was, unfortu- don’t worry, there’s still time! concerned by quantity of the alcohol nately, a Geri fanatic. The longest wait I Come to our meeting @ 7pm in The and the volume of the music. had for a lift was an hour, the shortest, Hogshead pub (Regent St, nr Parkers I got in and grabbed myself a less than a minute. (Good old VW Piece) Tuesday 22nd January to find out Babycham and lemonade then me and campers - they always pick up hitchers!) I more! Or e-mail us on my woman grooved our way across the think the chalkboard with its destinations [email protected] if you can’t dancefloor back to back down under a scrawled on was a definite help, although make it. Cambridge’s coffee culture Clare Herrick wakes up to the bitter, brown and murky reality of coffee in Cambridge Christmas is over. Having finally capabilities. Having accidentally taken which go into such high quality feats of vival race is accelerating, we have become Although the chances are higher. escaped the turkey-curry haven that was eight weeks off mid-term, you very much procrastination. a true minority splinter group and idling- ** A tip for novices… one evening my home, I have turned a corner and look forward to the limitless heights of In Freshers’ week we are not such an resources are being exhausted at a fright- attempt to bridge gap between stairs and bumped smack-bang into the large, achievement attainable. exclusive bunch, everyone feeding off the ening rate… the true test of leisure door in one fluid movement. This will ugly, smirking beast that is Lent Term. And so it would have been, had it not same Cindy’s-induced drunken unpro- endurance has begun. result in an unfortunate foot-in-bin My bank account is now once again on been for that infallible supervillain com- ductivity vibe. Mid-term is more So, it is now, as we look ahead to a new wedging incident, and incur a 20 minute its way to assuming a student-loan bination of carol-singing and Christmas demanding, as you detect a faint curiosi- year of exciting challenges and potential explanation period each morning, as you shaped hole as I surrender myself weari- pudding, assisted in their evil antics by ty brewing as to what exactly is the true productivity, that we discover how much attempt to rationalise to your bedder the ly to the indomitable might of rampant the oh-so convincing ‘drugs in tweed’ dis- nature of the large plot of land between we truly respect ourselves and our role in psychological state of the lesser-known beer-monkey thievishness (and, of guise of ‘side-kick’ mulled wine as a the Anchor pub and Grange Road. the community as a whole. I wish every- ‘bin-burglar’, who breaks into people’s course, to their friends, the ribena- medicinal, grandmotherly fireside brew. However, this is simply a weaning-on one a happy New Year and the best of rooms, uses all available floor-space for chimpanzee and jaffa-cake-gorilla). But, So, instead, the time was spent desperate- process and can generally be fended off luck.** clothes and crumb dispersal purposes, above all, we less ‘fresh’ ones are left with ly avoiding The Sound of Music on TV with a box of Earl Grey and packet of * Lashings of apologies for this highly leaves all valuables untouched, and, just nostalgic memories of this time last year and getting older members of the family Sainsbury’s economy chocolate diges- unfair remark – being ginger by no prior to leaving, wedges a dustbin on when it was still just acceptable to pull drunk to prevent them realising you have tives. Nearing the end of term the sur- means makes you unpopular or stupid. your foot. fellow freshees with the excuse that it been hiding the smaller members around was dark and we had no idea they were the house in conveniently sized storage ginger (talking of which, here at places, ready for the new year. This, of Emmanuel we were also subjected to the course, alongside maintenance of a alarming realisation that us blondes and bufferzone-like demeanour whilst brunettes were now drowning in a sea of embroiled in the great annual parental redness of Bolshevik proportion, the pantomime controversy, (father: “it’s like college having done a highly effective Hamlet – it doesn’t matter how many job of compensating for a lack of state- times you see it.” Mother: “at least every- school applications through the practice one dies in Hamlet.”) of extensive hair-colour reverse discrim- As a result of all this wrong-doing, sec- ination).* ond term becomes a nightmare for us No, returning after the Christmas holi- arts’ students – doing as little degree- day is never fun. Throughout Michelmas related activity as possible is no longer the term the Christmas vacation is seen as no easy option, and term-life begins to pose ephemeral six week period in which a serious challenge to our mooching nothing productive will get done due to capabilities. This year, the normal initial unforeseen carol-singing and Christmas- frenzy of unproductivity marking my pudding commitments – indeed, in beginning of Michelmas term was unfor- which nothing productive could get done tunately converted into a whirlwind of due to the annual mince-pie-fuelled GreekPlay-induced fun & frolics. I am, chair-wedging experience – no, indeedy. therefore, under particular pressure to It is an enduring state with magical prop- concentrate hard at over-compensation erties which promote peak portfolio pro- for such waywardness. This term I am to duction capabilities and the ability to settle into my true English student niche complete fifteen times the RDA of lec- at last. To be honest, we are not given half ture catch-up without any alleviation of enough credit for the true wealth of phys- one’s academically-inspired superhuman ical, emotional and spiritual expertise outlook interview 18 January 2002 26 fashion science www.varsity.cam.ac.uk focus Varsity Reward Card SEX IN THE CITY making life feel better Guys, you’ve all been at home over the quiet corner of the North Front, but for Fountain. After bouncing around on King’s College Chapel Trinity Great Court Fountain holidays, eating turkey with your parents those of you with a voyeristic streak see if your Chariot of Fire, streak round the and brothers and sisters and aunts and you can get away with it in the rare man- court at midnight wearing only a ‘been- grandmas, so we thought we’d bring a uscripts room. there-done-that’ T-shirt for real kudos. ray of sacreligious sunlight into your This can be followed up by a power Leave in a hurry. University Library Jesus College horse lives ... the Varsity Top Ten Places to have trip or two, either on the lawn of the Decide who’s on top when you ride sex in your fair and beloved student Senate House (excellent stress relief fol- through Jesus’s Front Lawn mounted on town. And for your further entertain- lowing a bad exam result, or alternative- your stallion. Like a game of Bucking ment and amusement we have provided ly a fantastic and original way of cele- Broncho, the aim is to stay on for as long you with your very own cut out and keep brating) or in the Union Chamber, on as you can until someone chucks you off Senate House Grantchester Meadows card: just cross the boxes when you qual- the President’s Chair of course. We it. ify. First to complete their card gets a advise you start social climbing in the For the serene and rhythmic swaying of prize, that is if you promise to streak Union bar now! the trees head to Grantchester Meadows down King’s Parade shouting “I’m a The Bridge of Sighs would leave you to feel the earth beneath your feet. Better slag!” at the top of your voice. So for exhilerated in the open air, though to get still, the location comes with munchies, Union Chamber Cindy’s toilets your delectation, here you are ... away with it on Cambridge’s favourite a romantic bottle of wine, oh... and sev- Top of the rank comes King’s College tourist bridge we’d suggest you hang off eral punt loads of tourists. Chapel, certainly the most tasteless of it/under it, anything to avoid the cam- Finally, for utter tackiness, the worst our selection. Despite being sacred eras unless that’s your thing of course. locations central Cambridge has to ground, or perhaps because for that rea- Even tourists, capable of believing most offer.. Cindy’s toilets (and its got to be Bridge of Sighs Lion Yard car park son, many have claimed to have been things, may find it difficult to accept the girls’ toilets to be worth it), perhaps there and done it. So for bonus points, that shagging on walkways is within the with a later stop to finish off the night in we challenge you to blow the roof in the bounds of extra-curricular achievement. Lion Yard Car Park. Our editor, Adam, organ loft. Weighing in at number six, the pinna- recommends the exit barrier for that Secondly, and a must for sado- cle of class, featuring some of extra lift. masochists, try our favourite tower of Cambridge’s most scary porters, who So there you have it, Cambridge’s Varsity does not accept responsibility for loss of limbs, degree or dignity in the torture, a.k.a. the University Library. dares wins if you’re brave enough to blow greatest and grimiest brought together in undertaking of the above. Most of you would probably creep into a bubbles in Trinity’s Great Court one determined cause. Brasserie Michel, c’est chouette Jamie Douglass and Thomas Farnsworth sample the culinary delights of Cambridge French cuisine Visiting France, something I am partial England, I’m always a bit wary of to doing from time to time, is a lottery. French restaurants. My views on Café You take your life in your hands every Rouge, Dome, et al are well known, time you attempt to cross the road, risk but Brasserie Michel starts to impress your taste buds every time you order a before you get near the food. beer, and your wallet every time you do Our table being booked for a good anything at all in Paris. When not half hour after we arrived, we were indulging in drinking or automotive taken upstairs to a snug bar, comfy Gallic Roulette, one can marvel at the sofas, roaring log fire, and menus to way that, despite constantly bitching select from in advance. I like this idea. about how the rest of Europe has I really like reclining and drinking, and adopted English as its language of being called to your table when you intercourse, the French positively food is ready, because it circumvents despise anyone experimenting with The Pause. You know what I mean, phrases in the local lingo. The beaches you’ve ordered your food, selected a around Calais are crowded with beer- wine, and then you have to find some- soaked overweight Englishmen, and thing to fill the next ten minutes. If, surly garlic infused waiters who just like me, you are a smoker, you have the cannot wait to demonstrate that their tricky “To light or not to light” deci- grasp of English far outweighs your sion to face, since nothing hastens the own pathetic schoolboy knowledge of arrival of food, taxis or buses faster irregular verbs. As you can tell, I don’t than sparking up one of Rothmans’ cross he channel for the atmosphere. In finest. a recent survey in the City, the top We went for the Wild Mushroom on three loathings of English businessmen Madeira-soaked brioche, and the Tiger crispy, and succulent, the fungi tasty, get inferior meat because that is pre- critique the parfait. It tasted as it was were listed as Recession, Boiled Prawn and Noodle salad. Now, if I were the sauce rich, the salad perfectly cisely what they deserve. Now, I may be described, and that is enough of a rec- Cabbage, and The French, never mind to draw a list of rules for dining out, dressed. All in all, a dish to be proud of. wronging Brasserie Michel here. It may ommendation for any desert. Genocide, Racism, or Poverty. Apart one of the first would be ‘Never order a I would recommend this to anyone, I be (though I sincerely hope that it The menu at Brasserie Michel is from regarding onions as an item of Chinese dish in a French restaurant’, really would. For the main course, we isn’t), that they are happy to waste good widely ranging, and to my great delight daywear, our beret-covered cousins also and unfortunately, this was justified. chose the Veal Escalopes, and the Steak cuts of meat on the ‘well done’ brigade. has a number of liqueurs and cognacs with Blue Cheese Sauce. The veal was I couldn’t say. What I could say is that on offer for after dinner. I cannot No chef in his right mind is going to use tender, a beautifully creamy meat, and my steak was fantastic. I like my beef praise the place highly enough for an the vegetables a good accompaniment cooked so that a good vet could get it overall dining experience – the décor is the best quality cuts of meet for some – not roasted or boiled to oblivion as so up and walking, and they obliged. relaxing and convivial, the staff both idiot who wants the damn thing reduced often seems to happen. The jus was Proper melt-in-the-mouth flesh. The attentive and efficient, and the range of sour to the point of providing a con- sort of thing that sends vegetarians into food excellent. My one gripe is with the to boot-leather consistency. trast, though not an Esther Rantzen apoplexy and me into rapture. In fact, I Tiger Prawn Noodles. They weren’t job, and went very well with the overall forgot about the fries that came with it bad, just mediocre; and frankly out of hold world records in racism, jingoism, The noodles were flaccid at best, the concept. As for the steak, well, a word – right up until I noticed that half of place. and lorry-striking, at almost Olympian prawns few and far between, and the about steak. I suggest, and please them had mysteriously disappeared, Brasserie Michel does French cuisine level. The Gallic press managed to sauce slightly less piquant that Bostick. remember this, that you never, ever, and with good reason. If we are to go to a standard of excellence that surpass- make the BSE story last for six months There are two schools of though oper- order your steak well done unless you by the ‘Delia’ test of Crispy-outside- es any contender in Cambridge, and I after the epidemic was brought under ating here. One dictates that, in a hate yourself. To request your beef is fluffy-inside, then these passed with personally do not see a need to plunge control, whilst happily feeding their French restaurant, on should not incinerated will not only destroy the honours. The Blue Cheese sauce, into the fusion market, much less when own cattle a tasty blend of brain matter attempt to sample fusion dishes. The taste of the meal, it will also mark you though almost unnecessary, was rich, this compromises the quality of the and shit. In fact, I sometimes wonder other says that if the damn thing is on out as somebody who enjoys Bad Food. thick, and creamy. A very good accom- menu. But to complain would be why the rest of Europe tolerates them the menu, then it should be as good as Think of it this way. To overcook beef paniment to an already great dish. As churlish. The food was more than at all. But then I go over there and the alternatives. This was not. destroys flavour. No chef in his right for desert, the cheese plate was enjoyable, and the atmosphere, upon remember. However, the Mushroom dish was mind is going to use the best quality extremely well stocked, and the White- which the place clearly prides itself, Cuisine is a French word. ‘Saute’ is a something else. I failed to note whether cuts of meet for some idiot who wants and dark-chocolate-parfait was simply spot on. And there wasn’t an onion- French word. ‘Chef’ is a French word, they serve this in main course size as the damn thing reduced to boot-leather delicious. Small, certainly, but after the wearing buffoon or a lorry driver in for goodness sake. They invented it. well, but I hope so, because it was sim- consistency. It is right and proper that main dish, all that was within our sight. We copied. And that is why, in Merrie ply gorgeous. The brioche was firm, the philistines who request such things capacity. To be honest, it is difficult to 5/5 A varsityarts

Photo: Tom Catchesides 18 January 2002 28 ARTSTHEATRE www.varsity.cam.ac.uk A Hitler played with Chutzpah he newly formed Chutzpah Theatre TCompany’s production of George Tabori’s Mein Kampf is a virtual tour de force, as demand- ing on its audience as it is on the actors. The play is a dark comedy that arose out of the pain and absurd- ity of the Holocaust. Absurdity intrigues Tabori in this play: the absurdity of Hitler, the absurdity of anti- semitism, the absurdity of enlightened attempts to explain mass murder, genocide and xenophobia. He revels joy- ously and profanely in all the grotesqueries we have managed to conjure up in response to anti- semitism. And yet he is not cyni- cal. There is in fact an unusual optimism in his comic antics. The play is set in pre-war Vienna, in a hostel run by two ageing Jews. They take in a new guest, an arrogant youth from the provinces who is applying to art school, by the name of Adolf world, casts a gloomy foreshad- Samuel Klein as Herzl and Hitler. Filled with dramatic owing of what we all know is to Leonora Weil as Frau Death give irony throughout, the story come but which is never dealt particularly strong performances. revolves around the relationship with directly. Klein is effective in portraying an between the impoverished and Yascha Mounk’s direction is exterior piety which on occasion spiritually questing hostel owner marked by the installation of boils over into violent tirades, Dead cat bounce Herzl, who is writing his book unconventional actions - look thus mirroring Hitler’s own ejoice. The wretched cals are performed throughout Express has gone the way of Mein Kampf, and the young out for the shepherd’s pie, Hitler obscenity. Weil is icy calm and moggy of a musical that is the world and have been for Connex South Central. The Cats Hitler, an obnoxious upstart frothing at the mouth and the chilling, a perfect accompani- RCats is being put down. many years. are going and curiosity has noth- who is fond of picking his nose! chicken’s memorable cameo ment to Ian Hogarth, who steps The show that defined British It’s very hard to criticise anyone ing to do with it. But lack of Despite Hitler’s increasingly appearance. The German-born into the young Hitler’s shoes out- theatre for a generation of poly- in that position. The critics don’t curiosity might: these shows last- apparent anti-semitic leanings, Yascha says of his production, “If standingly well, perhaps dis- ester-clad American tourists is to matter. For twenty years Lloyd ed a phenomenally long time, the lyrical old man is determined it may challenge the boundaries turbingly so! close this May. Webber and Cameron and our familiarity with them to teach his young protégé how of orthodox British theatre at Mein Kampf is a black comedy In the meantime, it’s too Mackintosh have made a fortune bred contempt. It isn’t as though to love. But the play, which times, this is only in service to of the highest calibre, which the tempting an opportunity to pass out of putting large numbers of the musical is any less popular - holds in perfect balance the Tabori’s theme. The text and Company have truly made their up to examine the Lloyd-Webber (generally outsized) tracksuit- the current success of the revived absurd and yet the starkly real, style of the play are designed to own. The production offers a phenomenon. Especially as some bottomed bums on seats. "My Fair Lady" owes much to forces the audience to consider provoke thought.” He maintains particularly creative approach might accuse his music of being How did they do this? They the musicals of the eighties - we the reality of events leading up to that “it is important that we even for those of us with Hitler crass, fit only for the intellectual made the Ford Mondeo of the just want more of them and dif- WW2. The death march of keep laughing so that we don’t fatigue! lowest common denominator. theatrical market. Ibsen – who ferent ones. Hitler and Frau Death, as they grant Hitler a posthumous victo- Simon Eder at a rehersal of Mein Lloyd Webber provided an easy he? Shakespeare – nice name, Ghastly as the thought sounds, leave the stage to conquer the ry”. Kampf. guide to someone’s musical taste: shame about the language. The Lloyd Webber actually devel- schmaltzy, familiar, undemand- National’s too far to walk. But if oped the majority of musical ing, Chris Tarrant-like in bland it runs on Broadway it must be tastes – not by being desperately Mein Kampf is showing at the ADC Theatre from 30th January inoffensiveness and financial good. A nice, easy musical original, but by providing the i until 2nd February at 11pm, every day except Fridays reward. You knew that if it was sounds just right, Elmer, doesn’t punters with a middle of the played at their funeral, they were it? And it’s in English. road product that they wanted to better off six feet under. It was a The real success came in see. form of cruel punishment from repeating the formula – several But now we want to see some- beyond the grave. The dead don’t times over. Starlight Express thing different. But where are have to endure 'Memory". came in 1984 and netted £140m these all-new musical favourites? There is one teeny-weeny in box office receipts before it At the moment they're nowhere problem with this smug view of closed this month. Unlike the to be seen. The money men at Copacabana events. Lloyd Webber made a subsidised dross that litters many T.S. Eliot’s publishers must now fortune out of singing cats and of our theatres, the big A’s shows be praying for a real dead cat Richard Lee previews the ADC’s end of term musical Technicolor Dreamcoats - and were a marketing phenomenon. bounce. got a peerage to boot. His musi- Until this year. Starlight Edward Evans We didn’t expect any startling as they are talented) giggled as luxuries, the 27-strong cast revelations when we met up they let slip to us that they’ll be took to the streets of their with the two leads of Barry jetting off for a mid-term break hometowns over the holiday Manilow’s Copacabana, this to Havana, Cuba, the setting period, to collect money. term’s ADC Musical. for the show itself. “Who says that this isn’t chari- Conversation was dominated Sam said: “I think that the ty?” replied Jon Lenson and by tales of gruelling rehearsal restrictive Cuban dancewear Ollie Wiseman. schedules, sensational choreog- will be particularly beneficial Unfortunately, Copacbana’s  raphy and show-stopping in conjunction with the vocal director, Kate Merriam, was music, which seem set to make extension exercises which I am unavailable for comment, but % Copacabana one of the most currently undergoing, as well her agent, Al Alie, said that popular shows to hit as allowing me to establish a Miss Merriam was greatly Cambridge in recent years. warm working bond with the looking forward to experienc-  However, it soon emerged that Cuban ‘muchachas de la ing the Cuban culture and BOOKSHOP there are no lengths that this noche’”. accent first-hand. company will not go to in Fascinated by this new The show’s stunning blonde order to make Copacabana’s rehearsal method, we spoke to star, Becky Walker, took a for all current members first performance outside of the show’s producers about rather different attitude of the University of London a suitably sparkling where the funding from this towards the trip. “I’m sure that Cambridge – simply show debut. essential trip is coming from. an all-over tan can only help your University Card Becky Walker and Sam They told us that as the show’s my performance in the shower 1 Trinity Street, Hodges (both as good-looking budget does not stretch to such scene.” Cambridge, CB2 1SZ Telephone 01223 333333 We are open Monday to [email protected] Saturday, 9.00 am–5.30 pm and 11.00 am–5.00 pm on Copacabana is showing at the ADC Theatre from 12th March Sundays i until 23rd March at 7.45pm 18 January 2002 A www.varsity.cam.ac.uk ARTSTHEATRE 29 PUCK-A PERFORMANCE Jonathan Styles finds reason to celebrate in the European Theatre Group’s latest production Dead! Dead! Dead!” Not, perhaps, A Midsummer Night's Dream is one of the mischievous Puck (Keir Shiels), ser- That is not even the half of it, but be Many of the cast members have dual the most promising of one-liners, the Bard's most popular comedies, vant to Oberon King of the Fairies, assured that the ETG won't leave you roles to play and they make the most “but it did it for me. With perform- revealing the activities taking place in subjects them to the effects of a love perplexed by it all. Shakespeare's lan- of the opportunity to show off their ances in thirteen of the Continent's the court of Athens and its surrounding potion that ensures only further chaos. guage was freed here from the rigid versatility. Each player produced fully major cities behind them, the forests during the preparations for the Meanwhile, a company of iambic shackles of most amateur per- individual characterizations of their European Theatre Group's touring marriage of Theseus (Nick Blackburn) Mechanicals, rehearsing a play for the formances, delivered instead with a parts, including Shiels' peculiarly sin- production of Shakespeare's tale of to Hippolyta (Kaite Baines). Two wedding celebrations, is disturbed to notable ease and naturalness that made ister realization of Puck, which he love, illusion and mistaken identity has young couples caught up in a tortuous find its lead thesp Bottom (Duncan one forget the disparity of the Ages. So, maintained throughout the interval. arrived home. love rectangle flee to the forests, where Harte) transformed into a donkey... too, was life instilled into the play, Scary. when the high frequency of productions However, it was the Mechanicals' per- of A Midsummer Night’s Dream could formances that provided the show's possibly threaten to make it feel stale. highlights, culminating in a final tour A theme that runs through the text of de force of intentionally dreadful acting the play is the discrepancy between the as they reveal their play to the newly world of our dreams, the theatre and the wedded couples. real world that we inhabit. This strand Tom Bell, Duncan Harte, Chris Till was entertainingly developed during the and Natalie Trangmar were each production by some additional ad lib- superb, eking humour from word and bing from the cast as they changed the gesture alike and bringing the house scenery and discussed which pub to fre- down in their final appearance. quent at the end of it all. The ETG, Cambridge University's The set itself further contributed to premier touring company, has a presti- the effect, being constructed from the gious history. Formed in 1957 by a props that make up the scenery of the group of friends that included Michael Mechanicals' own play. Atmospheric Deaking, Sir Derek Jacobi and Sir Ian incidental music was provided by a McKellan, the company's first excur- couple of musical wine glasses an on- sion set off in two fruit vans. Nearly 45 stage solo cellist (though this became a years later, this present production is little distracting during the longer keeping the standard high. monologues of the actors).

A Midsummer Night’s Dream is on at the ADC i until 19th January at 7.45pm 5, 6, 7, 8… Who does Tim Stanley appreciate? stumbled dazed and confused in to in to a set of weak vignettes that veered the ADC on Wednesday night for from the ridiculous to the ridiculous. Iwhat promised to be a comedy mur- Arguably the last part confirmed my der mystery set to music. Sadly the only suspicion that the play should be mystery set to music was whose mobile chopped up, re-written and re-done as a phone went off thirty minutes in to the series of sketches. As a coherent story it tune of the William Tell Overture. The was flabby and often childish. The only comedy was discovering that it was humour nose-dived in to the realms of my own. But that, like the entirety of such Saturday morning luminaries as ‘5,6,7,8’ was purely a private joke. I did the chuckle brothers. How telling that Bottom in Europe not go in a cynic. Considering the cur- whenever my mother caught me having rent trend of Cambridge theatre of a sneaky cigarette and watching such Tom Bell gets all Euro-friendly telling about the ETG’s Christmas tour stripping fifteen minutes in, I was quite geniuses at eight in the morning the optimistic. But sadly the show failed first thing she’d do was turn the televi- here is fun to be had in Europe: the careful hordes of money left by its speaking locals in Brescia during a even in the department of the now de sion over. The names of their cities are founders had all been blown on lemsip blizzard. The greatest challenge we rigeur nude scene and frankly at this Cambridge theatre is currently dire Tlargely absurd, the endless bor- and good quality cheese. The pressure were to face, however, was in convinc- time of year I don’t bother to stay awake and this epitomised everything tragical- ders offer generous opportunities to was really on us; if we didn’t make a ing the people of Europe that the tour after eleven o’clock unless I’m guaran- ly wrong with it. On the one hand there try out your passport, there are lots of profit then the two old women in was entirely student run. This was a teed someone undressing in front of was plenty of talent in the cast who different cheeses, the people all dress Feldkirch who’d watched the tour for concept too far for hosts who saw me. Although if they had tried to it squeezed every possible bit of humour funny and once a year an all-too brief the past 20 years would have to find before them bedraggled and worn stu- would have required a tin opener: the out of the play like getting blood from a and far-too wonderful tour from new ways to spend their December dents, half dazed from lack of sleep only authentic thing about the play stone. Rachel Reid is an especially tal- Cambridge puts on a show. The main 14ths. Budget restrictions brought a and an excess of Gluhwein. Surely were the eighties costume of tight leo- ented actress and Joseph Craig’s compo- show at the ADC this week is the whole new element to the experience: they were wrong, surely there were a tards and wristbands. sition was exemplary. But this was a home run of this same, brave endeav- money saved by hiring a driver who few professors stowed away on the There were plus points. The music tired pastiche, both of a subject and in a our. gallantly refused to waste petrol on fri- coach somewhere. was very good and catchy. Though format that went out twenty years ago Creating a show for the varying volities like parking or going the right With the show over for the day and much of it sounded the same the lyrics and should never have been let back in throngs of Europe was a far cry from way, offensive hostel expenses were cut the set and lights lovingly taken down contained the play’s small dearth of to the ADC. This theatre lacks social the routine dangers of a Cambridge by staying with hosts of varying safety and packed deep within the belly of jokes. I still recall a song about catching awareness, it lacks bite and it lacks imag- run. By the time the tour had reached and sobriety. Francs were to be had “Tourmaster” there would be a matter a tube train that was very funny and was ination. There was a time when it was popular Swiss capital Bern the show from braving a matinee performance of hours before we had to be on the I humming it all the way home. But the famous the world over for using satire to had become our reality; it was the only in front of the children of the Belgian road at 5am for our next Swiss back- few moments when the band and the mercilessly ridicule the very establish- constant in the swimming mass of right wing (seemingly). water. No time to sleep but time actors considerable singing talents were ment that financed it. But for 5678 the tiredness and Belgian Francs. I began The local populace were nothing if enough to trek a few miles to end up given free rein were few and far funniest joke I found was on the back of to imagine people applauding me as I not inquisitive. Ambassadors would in an Irish bar, to spend a night quot- between. This undermined the struc- the program which read, This space is checked into hostels, children every- cry: “’Vere are you going?” Old ing lines from the show to each other. ture of the play and it was noticeable sponsored by Paul Levy ? Chiropodist where seemed to point as their parent’s women would point to my picture in And now, 3 weeks later, we have all that when the music was not present and Podiatrist. Ingrown toenails a spe- rushed to get them away from this the programme asking: “Is that his real woken up, somehow back in (such as in the last mind numbingly ciality.? To top it all the show didn’t even fairy-boy. For some cast members the name?” German voices rose in cries of: Cambridge and ready to do the show awful two thirds) the plot disappeared come with a discount. show proved the only real opportunity “how did you find Heidelberg’s only one last time; refined, improved and to get some sleep, for others cake gay bar?” Audiences proved equally with real beds awaiting the actors. So props were the only source of food unpredictable: a standing ovation in come and see the show that Antwerp 5678 is on at the ADC Theatre they were able to secure. Paris, whoops of delight at every word tried to ban and Italy failed to see. It until Saturday 19th January at 11pm Years of ETG excess had meant that from Zurich and 12 non-English toured Europe. It’s great. i 18 January 2002 30 ARTSFILM www.varsity.cam.ac.uk A DAVID LYNCH RULES THE MOB Charlie Phillips sees postmodern cinema at its best in Mulholland Drive irst things first, David Lynch is a stration of this. It’s about how every story at all, so you might as well treat I realise I sound boring, but I think very cool anymore, but it’s only in genius, the greatest film auteur event is experienced personally, and everyday life as a spectacular dream- Lynch would tolerate me because the those liberating terms that a viewer Falive. But it’s also pretty weird through a variety of media, whether scape. Eraserhead was about how that whole point is that his films aren’t fully sees his loveliness. It’s so that how a tacitly accepted process goes on the screen, little objects or vivid can be scary if you let your dreamlike complete without the input of the tortured images like the headlight-lit whenever he has a new film out, as dreams. After a short time, you can’t interpretations get mundane. Blue watcher and it’s with that contribu- lost highway and the cagey stranger in with Mulholland Drive. There’s the really be sure if it happened like you Velvet showed that if you approach life tion that micro-narratives get formed, suburbia, are what anyone who drives charged debates on Newsnight Review remembered it, and knowing that this with a wide-eyed innocence, a kind of in the cinema itself and then for the a car or lives in a nice house sees when where one person can’t cope with the is happening to everybody, it becomes 50’s morality, it’ll all be okay in the rest of your life, every time you think they shut their eyes. concept of a lack of linear narrative, very hard to be sure if there is a true end. about his films. Postmodernism isn’t Bet you hyper-modern kids are get- and another loves it but feels that ting goosebumps just thinking about everyone will think they’re trying too it – I know I am. The best example of hard to be cool, so goes all tongue-in- contemporary representation in cheek and apologetic. Then, in the Mulholland Drive is the mysterious cinema, there’s a mood of tension as character of ‘The Cowboy.’ I knew some people ask loudly, “what the Lynch would have a cowboy character fuck is going on?” and gasp with irri- eventually. Cowboys are those who tation, whilst others snigger blatantly are perceived as outsiders and watch to prove they recognise a stylish from the edges, partly because they Lynchian motif that has been used in choose to, and partly because they are one or more of his other films. Then, made to. Once they lived in the Wild like Barthes, Derrida and Foucault say West, now they hide in big cities. we should, on the way out people dis- Everyone wants to be a cowboy, but cuss how it might all fit together and they fear it, so they live in terror of what it’s trying to say. Finally, a hip meeting one. So when Adam, the film young sociologist writes about it in director, meets his cowboy, he must some obscure journal and everyone give in to the cowboy spirit. Wow. forgets about it, has a cup of tea and Don’t forget the Lynch films you see gets on with everyday life. – use them. Because they embrace It’s an exciting process. But see, I everything. Even The Straight Story. don’t think you can, or should, forget And if you doubt me, then I say only about his films, because they’re repre- this – Mark Kermode agrees with me, sentations of the most central fan- and he knows much. tasies of modern living. Mulholland Drive is his most complete demon- Do the Camerama Lukewarm Charlie Phillips presents the student film festival Kate McNaughton reviews Lord of the Rings his is a very Why Don’t You? exist and yes, you’ve been told a million point of the festival, the student film riting a review of Lord of the action-adventure-thriller, so it would moment. Turn off the TV set, times and yes, we rock, so we tolerate competition. Camerama proudly invites Rings is not an easy task. As be a bit futile to complain about this, Tburn your set texts and do some- no further patronising), which is organ- submissions of original films of no Wfar as I can tell, if you read though the novelty value of beasties thing useful instead. Beg, borrow or ising the festival. However, with the more than 15 minutes by 15th the book as a teenager and enjoyed it, does wear a bit thin after a while (espe- steal a camcorder, get your diaries out likes of Saul Metzstein (Late Night February. They can be made by individ- the likelihood is you will think the cially as they all look quite similar to and write in massive fluorescent letters Shopping), and Tom De Ville (C5’s uals or by groups, and all genres will be film is amazing. Most people who have horrible beasties from other films). Do for the weekend of 1st-3rd March the Urban Gothic) giving talks and showing delightfully received before the selec- never read the book seem to think it’s look out, though, for the incongruous words ‘My universe-shaking film on films, as well as the chance to be tion is whittled down for the final on pretty good too. If you read the book bit of token romance, an amusing show to famous people and jealous stu- involved yourselves, who can argue? the 3rd, to be judged by guests from as a teenager and really, really liked it instance of the ‘we must get a snog dents.” The time has come for student Taking place in association with the Empire magazine, film schools and and have read it over and over again into this film somewhere’ policy. film to stop faffing about in the bed- 2002 Student Art Exhibition, the aim is directors, and with the lure of big since then, you might not be so keen. Visually, though, the film is at room and go public, to run naked and to showcase the wide variety of films prizes, as well as massive fame. I haven’t read the book, and I moments breathtaking, and beasties scream for attention. And this term sees currently being made by students here To prove that films are easy to make thought it was okay. A bit long, per- aside, Tolkien’s fantasy world really is every single Cambridge student’s and elsewhere and stimulate more to be with even the simplest of ideas, and to haps, but okay. The cast all turn in done justice (as far as I can tell from chance to be part of it. Camerama, the made, as well as getting the most stylish confirm that film is the best artistic good performances, particularly Elijah having only read the Hobbit): the elves (probably first-ever) student film festi- young British film directors and indus- medium ever, it would be inspiring if Wood (though I couldn’t quite work are cool and beautiful, the hobbits are val is coming to make you famous and try insiders around to come and tell us we were to have as many entries as pos- out what accent Frodo was supposed short and hairy, the wizards are tall and very happy. how to make a go of it beyond sible. Go on – it’s so easy, you’ve got a to be speaking) and Ian McKellen as beardy and Gollum creeps around If I over-enthuse about Camerama, Cambridge. Above all else, though, it whole month, and you can even use Gandalf. The story is as you would hissing a lot. Oh, and the black riders then it’s only because it is going to be will be a massive celebration of film art CFTV’s digital video camera to do it. expect: lots of fighting great big beast- are REALLY cool. There seems to be amazing for film in the University on and entertainment. And keep an eye Whether you know you want to make ies that are the worst, most dangerous little else to say – which perhaps in an unprecedented scale. I do admit my out for the posters because more events films, or whether you’ve just always beasties in the world ever, until the itself says more about the film than bias, as President of CFTV (the are being added as we speak. wanted to try it, when will there ever next worst, most dangerous beastie anything else… University filmmaking society – yes, we Sunday 3rd March will see the high- again be such a lucky opportunity? comes along. Such is the nature of the 18 January 2002 A www.varsity.cam.ac.uk ARTSFILM 31 Protect your cultural diversity Kate McNaughton gets virulent about big bad multinational corporations he French cinema industry in could appeal to a wide, international dies are high (a proportion of the price these early days of 2002 is audience whilst offering something of any cinema ticket is fed back into Tscared. Scared and angry. Why, different to the usual Hollywood fare. the French industry), and television one might ask, when last year saw The big cheeses of French cinema companies have contractual obliga- almost unprecedented success for spent most of the end of the year slap- tions in terms of broadcasting and French film? As other national indus- ping each other on the back – until on funding French films. Among the lat- tries faltered under the pressure of eco- 18th December, Jean-Marie Messier, ter, a channel called Canal Plus is by nomic recession, French cinema the head of what is now the Vivendi- far the biggest funding body of French boomed in 2001, with more films pro- Universal Corporation, gave a speech cinema – and it is owned by Vivendi- duced, and attendance on the up since in New York and proclaimed the end Universal. the year 2000. At home and abroad, of the “Franco-French cultural excep- This state of affairs is what Messier the success of films such as Amelie or tion”. meant by the “Franco-French cultural Brotherhood of the Wolf showed that To put it in plain English: part of the exception”. In a world of “cultural French cinema needn’t all be about reason the French cinema industry is diversity”, he argues, these protection- black rollneck sweaters and philosoph- so healthy is that it benefits from a ist policies are outdated. What he real- ical interrogations (not that it ever high level of protectionism on the part ly means, of course, is that he wants to was, but clichés will be clichés), but of the French government. State subsi- make more money, and that the recently acquired ‘Universal’ part of his company wants to make sure that a nice, glitzy Hollywood sheen firmly anchors itself on every cinema screen there is. Unfortunately, as the owner of Canal Plus, he actually has the power to do quite a lot of damage once the channel’s present contract expires in 2004 – hence the worry that has been expressed by French media moguls and been adopted by other European gov- is going to be very much at the fore- politicians alike. ernments, particularly Germany, front of political debate. Messier’s dec- The French government, whatever its because of this. This does not mean laration does at least have the advan- political leanings of the time, has however that the French narrow-mind- tage that it has shocked people into always stood firmly, in GATT or edly only watch home-grown produce: thinking about how the funding of WTO meetings, in favour of the idea anyone who has been to Paris and French cinema can be managed so that that cultural products are not just one noticed its profusion of arts cinemas it is not threatened by his ilk. It has more type of merchandise which will know that you can see anything also somewhat reawakened the debate should be subject to the same rules of there from Battleship Potemkin to the at a wider level, since many hope that free exchange and competition as toy latest underground Middle-Eastern a European legislation in the matter cars or chocolate bars. State subsidy productions. In fact, one film which (there have been suggestions of and protectionism of national cinema has just opened, to much publicity, in encouraging European state subsidies industries do not go against cultural France this week is Ken Loach’s latest towards cultural products to make up diversity, it argues, but favour it, since offering, The Navigators, a film about at least 1% of the countries’ GDP) without them these industries would the privatisation of British Rail, which could be the way forward. Doubtless simply not exist. Certainly the French has already been shown at various fes- this would be none-too pleasing to our cinema industry is one of the few in tivals, including Venice and Toronto. A friends on the other side of the the world that can in any meaningful UK release date hasn’t been set yet, Atlantic – no offence to them, but the sense be said to stand up against however... hamburger brand of ‘cultural diversity’ Hollywood, and in fact the model of With the upcoming elections in just doesn’t sit well on the stomach... ‘Franco–French cultural exception’ has France, the issue of cultural exception

Director: Jean-Luc Godard Starring: Bruno Putzulu, Cecile Camp. Jean Davy, Francois Verny Certificate PG Running time: 98 minutes France 2001 Eloge de l’amour Showing at Arts Picture House Enjoy some intellectual gymnastics in Jean-Luc Godard’s latest oeuvre kay, be warned: this is not an elements (it is rife with literary allu- out, thus making the process of mon- for all his learning, is not out of touch era seems uncompromisingly close to easy film. Well, it’s Godard, sions), but on visual ones as well. We tage visible. The camera is almost with a more physical aspect of the its subjects after the reserved distance Oinnit. And the old man is mak- truly are left with an incredibly dense always still, so that we become highly medium. This highly aesthetic part, of its black-and-white counterpart. ing no bones about being intellectual treatise to think about, as after his aware of its presence: as people walk playing on light and shadows in a In short, go and see this film – we are and erudite to a degree that often examination of the artist pondering out of shot, for example, we realize manner worthy of the greatest direc- lucky enough to have our screens leaves the viewer feeling rather lost. ideas of age and memory (his protago- that we automatically expect it to track tors of the pre-colour era, is offset by graced with two directors (the other Having said that, if you are braced for nist is obsessed with the idea that there them, and must unlearn the expecta- the second half, shot in digital video one being David Lynch) who do not a challenge, and want to see some truly might be no such thing as “l’âge tions we acquire from conventional (something all the old Nouvelle Vague just want to spoon-feed us a story, but experimental use of the medium adulte”, just youth and old age), narrative film. At times we feel trapped fogies seem to be getting into at the genuinely to provoke and educate us; (respect to Jean-Luc for still being Godard moves on to examine the by the stillness of these images, moment – watch out for Rivette and they should be given the attention they experimental after all these years), notion of history, particularly in terms painfully aware that so much is going Rohmer’s upcoming films), where the deserve. Eloge de l’amour will prove to be a truly of the French resistance. In a fascinat- on outside of their bounds which we colours are vivid and raw, and the cam- KM beautiful film, as well as one of the ing sequence, Steven Spielberg’s agent are not being permitted to see. Perhaps most genuinely thought-provoking visits an old French couple in we are meant to realize that this selec- ones you are likely to see for a long Normandy whose story he wants to tiveness is something inherent to film time. adapt, and reads out to them the con- generally, not just this one: simply, The film begins with a long, frag- tract by which they are signing over other films lure us into believing they mentary sequence in which a young their own personal history to are giving us the whole picture. Early man interviews actors for a project he Hollywood. Godard’s exploration of on in the film, our main protagonist has: that of filming an éloge de l’amour. these themes is genuinely complex and asks someone what they would choose He has a strangely monotonous voice, difficult, a reassuring proof that film between an opera, a film, and a novel: so that he often sounds more like he is need not be the superficial, manipula- film, Godard, reminds us, is art and having an internal monologue than a tory medium it is sometimes accused artifice, just as much as these other art conversation with anyone. The film of being (or perhaps, in Godard’s view, forms, and should be recognized as more generally leaves us uncertain as to does become in the hands of a Steven such. how to read it, disrupting naturalistic Spielberg). And indeed, however intellectually conventions without being so surreal This is in fact one of the most strik- intricate, Eloge de l’amour is above all as to simply be fantastical; Godard is ing aspects of the work: Godard is des- else striking for its visual beauty. The not trying to construct a narrative, but perate to make us “film-conscious”, as first half, which is shot in black-and- to use film as a medium for reflection it were. In the initial sequence, each white film, includes some breathtak- which can draw not only on linguistic shot is separated by a moment’s black- ingly sensitive shots of Paris; Godard, 18 January 2002 32 ARTSMUSIC www.varsity.cam.ac.uk A COCKER COCKS A SNOOK AT CAMBRIDGE Sarah Brealey detects the scent of inverted snobbery, with Pulp at the Corn Exchange. So here we are, in Cambridge”. Jarvis intensive tour, there was a definite sense the band, you might as well sit at home Cocker seems to be having difficulty that by this point they were just going and listen to the album. It took ‘This is “believing that he has finally reached through the motions. But then Jarvis, as Hardcore’ and ‘Sorted for E’s and Wizz’ to such heights of ponciness. I half expected he admitted, is getting old now. “I’ve still raise some sparks of life further back than him to tell the audience to go back to their got all me own teeth though,” he quipped, row four. public schools. Instead, he refuses to play in his best attempt at a joke. It’s not that Pulp have lost their touch. In ‘Common People’ all night, deaf to the In keeping with his new pensioner sta- Brixton two nights later on the last night pleas of the crowd. One assumes that if he tus, the new material is appropriately of their tour, the Academy was packed to had, Cambridge would have imploded sedate, full of trees and birds. It’s a far cry the seams; the crowd were loving it; even with the irony. from Different Class, when he sang (in ‘I- the band seemed to be having a good time. The posh students had obviously all Spy’), “Grass is something you smoke; And, in an “up yours” to all Cambridge been gassed on the way in, as what birds are something you shag; take your people, they even finished with ‘Common remained of the fairly substantial audience year in Provence and shove it up your People’, damn them. In Cambridge we got were mostly balding thirty-somethings. arse.” Expect Jarvis to be in the market for ‘Underwear’ instead, which, let’s face it, is And a moribund lot they were too. The a holiday home in Southern France any not really an all-time classic. Pulp’s tour front three rows were showing signs of life, day now. The new songs sounds good, but went out with a bang – but here, all we but that was about it. Nor were Pulp as live material, it doesn’t really get a crowd heard was a long-drawn, faintly melodic much better. Nearing the end of a fairly going. Unless you happen to fancy one of whimper. ROOTY MANOUEVER Basement Jaxx, Corn Exchange: Ed Maxwell skanks it fen-style ith mixed feelings, I boding force of a Shakespearian which were one hell of a lot more hurried to the Corn tragedy. The saccharine choon epic than the album versions. The WExchange, accompa- did, however invigorate the sterile vocal from ‘jus 1 kiss’ came in via nied by my ‘crazy girl’ compan- crowd , hitherto unimpressed by an awesome breakdown that ion. Quite apart from wondering the warm-up DJ’s waxploitation. rocked the venue, but the if I’d be able to steal ‘jus 1 kiss’ Jealously guarding their plastic absolute highlight for me was from her I asked myself how this bottles of Becks, the punters ‘bingo bango’, their final show- duo, rated as the best live British began to skank it fen-style to the down. The peaks and troughs of dance act, would fare. How assault of chest-rocking bass lines, the mix, featuring solos from the would the Rooty tour compare bright visuals and dancers in trib- dreaded percussionists and vocal- with the near-legendary tales of al dress. ‘Rooty Booty’, but no ists delighted the crowd to such their early days in the back room large apes, alas. an extent, that maybe a few might of The George IV pub on Brixton As it happened my fears of anti- even have spilt a few drops of their Hill? Would my hopes of witness- climax were swiftly allayed, and I treasured brews. It’s just a shame ing a skilful blend of chart success was soon sweating out all the that this level of intensity wasn’t and underground soundz be ‘bro- woes of another Cambridge term. maintained throughout. ken dreams’? Who knows how much of their Maybe I don’t agree with the As Buxton’s voice flanged out set was actually live and how Radio 1 stalwarts and their claims ‘We Are Basement Jaxx’ through much pre-recorded, but they of the Jaxx live ascendancy (let’s the vocoder, I was stunned by the wove it together neatly with some face it, they’re no Orbital broth- effect that switching the lights on proper technical flexing, even ers), but their commercial success and off over a proscenium arch incorporating the sped-up lick doesn’t seem to have turned them can achieve, on a trendy Cult- from ‘Get Your Freak On’ at one into total sell-outs. The whole Clothing-Clad East-Anglian point. ‘The South London boys’ force of the night suggested crowd. Fortunately ‘Romeo’ built up some stomping and occa- they’re still true to their Roots. As was dispensed with early on, sionally quite dark skits to bridge for my other agenda for the discounting its looming over the the ‘live’ versions of hits from night…. Girl – Where’s your rest of the evening with the fore- both Remedy and Rooty, most of head at? 18 January 2002 A www.varsity.cam.ac.uk ARTSMUSIC 33 VARSITY’S ALBUMS OF THE YEAR (2001)

An album more constructed than writ- British hip-hop stands accused of If you buy Tarentel’s record, The Order of By rights this album should be about This could well be country music. Or ten or crafted, Since I Left You leaves the fraud. For many, it is a contradiction Things on double LP, you’ll get three as compelling as an evening spent folk. Or Blues. Or an ill advised mixture well-worn path of setting a famous hook in terms, no rival for the US brother- sides of lovely, tactile, treacly, black, 12”, defrosting the freezer. However these of all three. On the back of the record to a polished drum pattern and waiting hood. Yet in our defence stands Roots old-fashioned, back-in-the-day vinyl 13 songs, possessing all the vim and sleeve, a man sits on the wooden terrace for the royalty cheques to flow in, taking Manuva. And his 2001 album is his (although, it wasn’t called ‘vinyl’ back in verve of a narcoleptic tortoise and of some deep mid-western country an altogether more scenic route. greatest alibi yet. the day, it was called something else). performed by married Mormons, are dwelling, alone with his overgrown Rambling through the Avalanches’ Kicking with originality, Run Come The fourth side has been left blank for amongst the most enthralling of beard and acoustic guitar. This picture record collection, we find truant school- Save Me is a classic: a thrilling show- reasons of asymmetrical smugness. The 2001. Subscribing to the belief that evokes all the feelings that prevail boys, talking parrots, lazy double bass case of an imagination on heat. LP being three-sided is convenient, ‘less is more’ it’s the sheer simplicity throughout this album – a backwards and the odd glimpse of Madonna, all Smacked with British attitude, Smith though, because Tarentel are themselves and fragility of this album that charm, a sense of overawing melancholy, bound together by the ever-present hiss is a lyrical wizard, offering us a sensi- a three-sided band, going in three direc- makes it so endearing. Against these love that fades with the setting sun, hope of aged vinyl. Half-recognised bass lines tive reflection upon life in an uncer- tions at once. The first direction is the sparse backdrops, the beautifully that arises somewhere over the hill in the flow in and out of hearing, lifted vocals tain and hostile world. In Sinny Sin obligatory post-rock direction which I intertwining vocals of Alan distance, invisible for the moment. stutter from one speaker to the other and Sin, he asks if there is a God, in like to call ‘Godspeed you Big Sparrowhawk and Mimi Parker Somehow this album also generates snatches of party conversation bubble Dreamy Days, if there is love. Yet from Orchestra’. The second direction is the come to the fore and lend the album warmth, and a detached optimism. under the mix, but Since I Left You is this doubt emerges hope and confi- post-folk direction, which I call a hushed, warm almost folksy quali- There is whistling, warbling harmonies, more than a collection of moments dence, expressed through smouldering ‘Godspeed you Crested Warbler’. And ty. a synthesiser, and always in the back- because these elements are combined to rhythms digging playful loops; which the final direction is the post-buzzing- Indeed it seems impossible to con- ground, a jangling guitar. His voice pos- produce a collection of tracks that flow along with a eclectic range of influ- noises direction, or ‘Godspeed you Old ceive of a more perfect distillation of itively croons in places, disguising each into each other as if you’re wandering ences, from reggae to gospel, conveys Radiator’. And the fact that I’m facetious Low’s sensitive and sombre vision bitter recollection, love affair and post from one room to another in a party the huge potential of a multi-cultural about it doesn’t mean that it’s not a great than this and in a year overshadowed coital musing behind a superficial calm. that’s taken over a cruise liner bound for Britain. A monumental album with a record. It is. And the fact that I invoke by the Strokes’ artless rehash of New This is Will Oldham’s ‘kingdom’; and the Caribbean. The Avalanches début is burning message. the post-rock muse doesn’t mean that it’s York punk, Things we lost in the Fire, after listening to this album, you are half a remarkably coherent journey into what So, rest assured, as long as Roots entirely derivative. Far from it. But you’ll seems a record curiously, majestical- seduced by its apparent simplicity, sounds like fifty years of second-hand Manuva continues to grow, Britop will have to buy it yourself. Godspeed you ly out of time: a slow cerebral treat. glimpsed only through these stunning, record store history. forever remain hip. Moss-side. HMV Cashier. twisted and graceful songs.

The Avalanches Roots Manuva Tarentel Low Bonnie Prince Billy Since I Left You Run Come Save Me The Order of Things Things We Lost in the Fire Ease Down the Road (XL Recordings) (Big Dada Recordings) (Static Caravan) (Tugboat) (Domino)

TOM CATCHESIDES MARTHA HOUSDEN DAVE THORLEY JIM HINKS LOUISA THOMSON and there’s more to come Hilary Tacey looks forward to 2002 and prays for an end to nu metal New year, new bands? To the chagrin of millenial generation. There is hope for those who like their musical trends British rock, however, in the form of wrapped up and presented in neat annu- quirky young Liverpudlians The Coral al packages its not quite that simple. and the taut Joy Division-esque rum- Not that this stops every January jour- blings of Brighton-based British Sea nalist under the sun attempting the Power. And for those who prefer a little impossible - whether it be fashion, food more subtlety, noodling around on the If you have a convertible TVR then or music, we all want to predict the fringes of things the electronica revival you’ll know the feeling of cruising future. And so ‘detox plan’, ‘your horo- continues apace. Uber-cool androgyny through the streets with the sun on your scope for the year’ and ‘Geri yoga’, the reaches it peak in the form of Ladytron face and one hand on the wheel. You’ve words ‘2002 preview’ are everywhere. and Detroit’s Adult.. Come on, get your got a steady beat kicking out of the bass Yep, including here… black polo-neck on – you know you bins in the back, and a soulful vocal 2002 isn’t hermetically sealed and sep- want to. rolling though the builds and the breaks, arated from what went before it – far On the more mainstream side of like the sea washing over the stones of from it in fact. The prospects for 2002 things, UK garage – 2001’s major suc- your Malibu beach house. Pretty soon have a distinctly, and somewhat depress- cess story - has something of an uncer- the music lifts you higher than you ingly, retro flavour. New albums from tain future. Associations with violence thought anything legal ever could, and the likes of Oasis, Supergrass, Suede, smearing its reputation, it remains to be you find yourself aching for the track to Gomez and Sheryl Crowe are imminent, seen whether So Solid Crew and their run all day. You can’t imagine that a sin- heralding a possible (whisper it) nineties ilk can maintain their massive populari- gle piece of music could possibly get bet- revival. Poaching the slightly more dis- ty. Pop is also in something of a precari- ter than this, and you’ve certainly never tant past, The Hives – hyperactive ous position, the split-ups of Five and heard one that has. It’s a great feeling, young Swedish men who couldn’t sound Steps compounded by rumours of the you know. Or have you never had that? more like Americans if they tried – demise of Hear’Say. With popstrels You don’t have a TVR? Well if you go threaten to steal the ‘best 70s rock’n’roll Britney and Kylie going from strength and get Scratched by Etienne De Crecy, pastiche’ crown from 2001 faves, The to strength, solo seems to be the way to close your eyes and sit back, then you’ll Strokes. San Francisco based Black go. find that you don’t have to. Rebel Motorcycle Club meanwhile The best new bands often seem to bring a much needed lightness of touch come out of nowhere, and despite the to the trad rock vibe with superbly titled best efforts of the music press, trends Etienne De Crecy songs such as ‘Whatever happened to can’t be artificially manufactured. Here’s Scratched my rock’n’roll? (Punk song)’… hoping, at least, that 2002 won’t live up (V2) On the UK front, Stereophonics, to its name, there’ll be a few surprises, Travis and Starsailor continue their cru- and the year won’t end the same way it ED CARROLL sade to provide dadrock for the post- began. ...and single of the year 18 January 2002 34 ARTSCLASSICAL www.varsity.cam.ac.uk A PREVIEWS Friday 18 January Cardew the Communist English Touring Opera – Mozart James Olsen commemorates the music of Cornelius Cardew with a bunch of hippies Don Giovanni 7.30pm, Arts Theatre, cheapest tickets £5. Further ost of us were probably too and-run driver in Leyton. Fellow Cardew Day was both at once: on instrument) is meant to provoke, but performances on Sunday and ‘Brittened-out’ at the end of Marxists still talk darkly of MI5 conspir- arrival, the event seemed to be a reunion this performance ironically seemed too Tuesday. Mlast term to reflect on the acies. of ageing Marxist men with long, grey much just like a shabby concert rather anniversary of another British compos- Music from every stage of his life was ponytails, dusty flares and socks and san- than a striking alternative to one. Other Kettle’s Yard Lunchtime Concert er’s death – that of Cornelius Cardew. heard at Cornelius Cardew Day this dals a-plenty. more colourful improvisations similarly 1.10pm, free. It’s hard to imagine two composers more Christmas in London’s Conway Hall, a The Day began with former members lacked real nerve, whilst his later piano disimilar: Britten was the darling of the venue renowned for both left-wing polit- of the Scratch Orchestra, shoes to one music, composed for The People, is establishment all his life (even when he ical events and, somewhat incongruous- side, in a performance of the graphic- downright patronising – as The People Saturday 19 January was a toddler, he was allegedly called ly, classical chamber music. Organised scored Great Learning. Its egalitarian aes- can only handle cod Beethoven. CUCO Great St. Mary’s, 8pm, £1- ‘dear’ so much that he thought it was his by former colleagues and friends, thetic (anyone can take part, using any Perhaps the most memorable music of £12 – Mahler and Schubert conduct- name), Cardew rallied against it for all of the day was his Marxist pop songs, ed by Dougie Boyd. his. whose hopelessly idealistic lyrics are set British composers have never succeed- to cheerfully conventional music, with ed by speaking up – although Byrd and (presumably intentionally) all the stress- Sunday 20 January Elgar were Catholics, Handel was a for- es on the wrong syllables. It was hard to English Touring Opera – Verdi La eigner, Britten and Tippett were pacifists tell whether the former members of Traviata 7.30pm, Arts theatre, and all of them were apparently more or People’s Liberation Music, who performed cheapest tickets £5. Further perform- less queer, the Anglopatriarchal authori- (presumably intentionally) out of tune ances on Monday and Wednesday. ties turned a blind eye so long as these and with great gusto, had their tongues unsavoury sides stayed in the closet. in their cheeks or not. I somehow doubt Cardew had no time for the closet – it, words such as ‘Smash smash smash Tuesday 22 January during the sixties, his socialist convic- the social contract’ are so spectacularly Bournemouth Symphony Orchestra tions led him to abandon conventional dated as to be risible. (Readers of Private Corn Exchange, 7.30pm, cheapest notation in favour of abstract graphics Eye need only imagine Dave Spart: the tickets £5 – Matthias Bamert con- interpretable by musical ‘innocents’. Album.) ducts a programme of Mandelssohn, Eventually he came to reject the avant- It’s easy for us Thatcher-children to Brahms and the Elgar Violin garde as an indifferent clique, and mock. We do desperately need some Concerto with Tasmin Little. became an outspoken Marxist-Leninist, idealism today, but it must move on writing music for the workers. Whereas from this bolshy sickle-wielding. The Wednesday 23 January Britten remained devoted to his country avant-garde Taliban of yesteryear may from the safety of East Anglia, Cardew now have been toppled, but today’s con- ISIS Recital Series The Union was anything but provincial: after gradu- temporary music world remains a small, Building, 8.30pm, free – Hilary ating from the RAM in 1957, he had relatively affluent circle of hedonists with Davies (flute) playing music by worked as an assistant to Stockhausen apparently very little concern for ills of Elliott Carter and Ibert. before returning to London and becom- the wider world. We may giggle at ing one of the keenest exponents of Cardew’s works, but we should still Organ Recital Trinity Chapel 9pm – European and American avant-garde in admire him for believing that new music Jack Day plays works including the ‘land without music’. In December might just be able to change everyone’s Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D 1981 he was tragically killed by a hit- lives for the better. minor. Thursday 24 January Come and Sing Queens’ Chapel, 7.30pm for 8pm – Vivaldi’s Gloria and Mozart’s Coronation Mass with All-star Parsifal CUCOphany the Magsoc Chorus conducted by James Southall – No Auditions, £4. David Warren enjoys Rattle’s Wagner début Will Hutchinson sees CUCO at Britten@25 Bach and Mozart Clare Chapel, 9pm he Royal Opera House is powerful voice and significant “physi- here was much disappoint- accompaniment was excellent, marred free – Bach Brandenburg Concertos almost worth a visit in itself, cal presence”. The eponymous hero ment on the Cambridge music only by the occasional lapse in con- 1&6 and Mozart’s Exultate Jubilate Tsuch are the delights of the himself, however, lets the big league Tscene last term; an unsettled centration. with soloist Louise Kateck and con- splendid Floral Hall, the fantastic cast down. Stig “of the dump” CUMS gave an indifferent opening Britten’s Cantata Misericordia ended ducted by Nick Collon. views from the upper bar balcony and Anderson has a decent voice but his concert; ISIS came and very nearly the first half of the programme and the beautifully redecorated Crush Bar. lumbering stage presence really takes went; Machinist Hopkins wasn’t the saw CUCO accompanying My expectation of attending the pre- the foolish element of Parsifal’s nature event that it might have been. Cambridge University Chamber mier of a new production of arguably a little too far. Moreover, his acting is Thankfully this finale to the Choir. With members drawn from a one of the greatest music-dramas ever poor, especially in comparison to that Britten@25 festival given by CUCO number a chapel choirs, it was no sur- JAZZ written was understandably intense. of the other cast members – particu- and the University Chamber Choir prise that the choir sang excellently. The musical side of the production larly Hampson, who gives an excellent bucked the trend and only served to The baritone soloist Simon Bailey was Cambridge Modern Jazz Club con- in every way lived up to this burden. physical demonstration of Amfortas’ cement their glowing reputations and in commanding form and rather over- tinues this term at Sophbeck Sir Simon Rattle gave a beautifully- suffering. It is true that there is not confirm the success of the festival. shadowed tenor Mark Wilde. Sessions, Napier Street. First up is crafted account of the score. He much Parsifal can do during the This concert opened with a work by The second half opened with this Friday, with the Coffee House brought out the spiritual elements of unveiling of the Grail scene except student composer Tom Poster. His CUCC singing unaccompanied in Quintet, a local band which won last the music and the resultant commun- watch in naïve rapture but Anderson orchestral sketch was meant to repre- He-She-Together by Robin Holloway. year’s Cambridge Festival ion of the musical and the spiritual failed even to accomplish this task by sent an unrestrained, romantic If CUCO just needed that extra edge Competion. The quintet is described was stunningly potent. having a look of dim confusion plas- Britten and as such was predictably in their performance, then CUCC as ‘progressive’, with influences It was an all-star cast led by the just- tered across his features for a good saccharine, though the orchestration showed them how it should be done. including Herbie Hancock and ly super-famous Thomas Hampson. twenty minutes. and performance were of a high It was, for me, the highlight of the Courtney Pine. Gigs continue every As Amfortas, his tormented, soulful A more serious criticism is a direct enough standard. Grant Llewellyn’s concert and one of the best choral Friday, and students are offered two baritone marvellously exaggerated the one of the production itself. The lack direction was assured and the band performances I’ve heard in gigs for a tenner. hopelessness of his character’s eternal of coherence was perhaps the most was visibly happier than under Wayne Cambridge for a long time. The sheer condemnation. Violeta Urmana’s surprising feature. A shark suspended Marshall earlier in the term. size of sound they produced was vibrant and sensuous soprano provid- above Klingsor’s realm stems from an The first Britten item of the concert amazing, to say nothing of the range ed the alluring dimension that is arguably viable view that his domain was his Serenade for Tenor, Horn and of colours. essential to the temptress Kundry’s is a submerged one, yet the need to Strings with Alison Butcher and Mark Unfortunately, the concert finished CUSO persona. Often Kundry just isn’t sexy have a scattering of brightly illuminat- Wilde. Ali is no stranger to CUCO, on a somewhat lacklustre note with enough and since it is an axiom of the ed fluorescent shapes (symbolising the having been their principal horn in Mozart Symphony No 40. In a move Although a little later in term, it is work that Parsifal’s rejection of her luminescent creatures of the deep per- recent years. Those nerves evident in that probably had more to do with worth noting that the student run advances and his compassion for her haps?) is beyond me when one of the her sound in the first movement gave platform logistics than authenticity of Cambridge University Symphony leads to redemption for both charac- corners of the stage is full of very ter- way to renewed confidence in the sec- performance, most of the orchestra Orchestra are again appearing at the ters, it is vital that she is absolutely restrial looking scenery. Similarly set- ond. The tenor was, at times, too played whilst standing up. They were prestigious venue St. John’s, Smith alluring. ting the climax of Parsifal’s search for operatic to blend with the ensemble as technically accurate as always but Square, London on the 22nd While Willard W. White lucidly cap- redemption in teletubby land defies and made an unfortunate slip in the just didn’t have the verve and excite- February, with a programme includ- tures the sinister cunning and maybe interpretation. Perhaps with this stag- penultimate poem, but the sheer ment that CUCC showed in the ing Dvorak 7 and Elgar’s Cello psychotic thirst for power of Kundry’s ing of Act III it was the director’s vitality of his performance and com- Holloway. Concerto. Get on the train now and master – the expelled Knight of the intention to mock the opera, whether munication with the audience were It was an unfortunate ending to an you might arrive in time to support Holy Grail, Skeletor. He is certainly a it were or not he came very close. enough to remove those doubts. otherwise outstanding concert. this flourishing orchestra. BTW worthy opponent of Parsifal with his Throughout the work, CUCO’s 18 January 2002 A www.varsity.cam.ac.uk ARTSVISUAL 35 2001: Leaving it all behind Hannah Barry looks at a year which brought many a grand master and yet another round of Turner shambles 001 was always billed as the year deserved their places in the masterful Times critics relentlessly giving it a the best in a public gallery at present. the more obscene old films and even the Grand Exhibition was to make Genius of Rome show. This was a show place on their must see list, I maintain Imperfect Beauty provided an intriguing some records of the pair’s silver suited 2its welcome return. Early surveys that in normal circumstances one would that the NG’s Pisanello was one of the window on the rarely penetrable back- spaceman escapades) and culminating in January had critics who had for so have to undertake pilgrimage to reach. most appallingly disappointing shows of stage of the fashion magazine with con- in the monumental Sam Taylor- Wood’s long bemoaned the sorry state of the Caravaggio’s dark quasi-Hollywood use the season. There were three paintings tributions from stylists and photogra- Mute. public exhibition dancing in what had of the camera obscura (well according to alon worth the critical praise. The rest phers alike. Later in the year Monsieur The Tate Modern blossomed rather seemingly been the grave of the English Mr. Hockney anyway) renders the less of the show simply padding to fill a Brassai’s dark chic was given a full retro- late with its intense and shocking exam- art calendar. The wealth of treasures sulubrious scenes of 16th century badly chosen space, and the reproduc- spective at the Hayward, recalling the ination of Surrealism in Desire promised saw worldwide collections Rome, parading card- bygone era of 1930s Paris Unbound, an exceptionally well- thoroughly rummaged and consequent- sharps, lute players, café society, dancehalls designed show, charting the bizarre ly plundered to bring the English scene delectable mounds of and debauchery. realms of the imagination brought into some of the greatest masters to grace the fruit, and the celebrated For contemporary art, a play when the male imagination is set history of art, which has all too often ermine-clad Saint John mediocre year. Old Ms. free, the male imagination of a Parisian seen important major pieces shunning it across its walls. Emin, with the presence surrealist in the 1920s, for those for New York, Paris and Berlin. The directors at the of all the old masters demanding a mildly more specific And the Royal Academy, never one to National also strode seemed to rear her head example... disappoint, gave us Genius of Rome, fol- back into London laden and shed the introspective Oh and then there was the Turner, lowing it up with the stunning with goods, their July self-indulgent misery with which in spite of presenting some of the Rembrandt’s Women, both challenging show brought the clear a quiet and graceful show most mature, sensible and prize deserv- and extensive hangs filling the main gal- light of Vermeer from at White Cube2. Even ing nominees – all being over the age of leries. The smaller Sackler Wing was not the North. Cast through embracing a mildly teas- 30 and quite part of the contemporary forgotten, its walls adorned with hun- windows and across ing title, You forgot to establishment - that it has ever shown, dreds of almost perfectly preserved tables, there were few Kiss my Soul presented managed to shoot itself in the foot. This Botticelli drawings for Dante’s Divine who did not make pains some of her most mature year they used a blonde bombshell by Comedy, which saw the dimly lit gallery to come and pay their work to date, alongside the name of Madonna, who managed to packed out from opening to closing respects. The Dutch numerous small ink self outshine even Martin Creed’s minimal- night, all viewing in hushed silence the master’s stunning work portrait sketches that ist efforts, though she really need not intricate renderings of hell, purgatory was by far the most eagerly anticipated tion Renaissance court wallpaper an showed her as vulnerable as the rest of have gone to the trouble of that simple and culminating in the endless circles of show of the year, dare I even suggest, the outrageous waste of money. us, even admitting trivial concerns in black Chlöe ensemble… For all the clar- stars surrounding the dancing souls of century. On it summer outing in Photography didn’t lose out either, the Self portrait with Westwood shoes ity of a single bulb intermittently light- paradise. London, it broke all records, selling with a fabulously stylish exhibition at Mr. Jopling continued to have success- ing a room was somewhat upstaged by In May the graceful hand of the more advance tickets than any other the National Portrait Gallery who ful shows moving to Gilbert and George her one diligent obscenity thrown across Academy then coaxed from guarded show in the history of exhibition-going. showed Horst’s black and white photog- for a dose of provocative humour in that white space in the Tate, to break walls above altars and slipped behind Unfortunately the Renaissance raphy. One of the most brilliantly con- New Horny Pictures (although perhaps the clean aesthetic pleasure of Channel many a laser alarm to bring forth from Autumn did not see the success of ceived shows came from the V&A, the more interesting exhibition was at 4’s 9 o’clock watershed. Italy’s depths over 150 rarities that well Vermeer repeated. Regardless of the whose curatorial team is surely one of the adjacent Lux Gallery, who showed All rise please Elegantly scandalous he title piece Mute, from which of despair and nurture. We leave the ny aspiring pleasure seeker should recession in perspective pictures and even- STW’s show emerges, confronts scene anxious and uncertain. head immediately to the tually the introduction of the three colour Tthe visitor with an intensely sad Perhaps the pathos is yet more AAcademy’s sublime new exhibition printing system and the colour wood cut vision and sets the tone for things to unbearable in Still Life, in which we The Dawn of the Floating World. Having that was to become a much celebrated

come. Not unlike her much lauded, watch a perfect bowl of delectable fruit never previously been overtly taken with tool. The scenes of Edo are fascinating; Mononobu: 100 Women of Japan and simultaneously loathed, naked slowly rot and disintegrate into a oriental art, and naively thinking it was screens, hanging scrolls, pillar paintings male dancing in his infamous residence mouding mass. We helplessly watch the confined to small spurts of fan painting and small elegant compendiums illumi- at the Tate Modern, Mute depicts a perfect being spoiled and losing its and the ubiquitous origami, I was stunned nate sake drinking boys, fan-wielding man pouring his emotion into an oper- form. We cannot even remove the into swiftly assuming a more educated and dandies, masseuses, elegant courtesans and atic performance on slowed film. The offending plate. The whole show mature point of view. bawdy actors. Lone figures or mingling emotion rises and falls across his face, demands that we consider vulnerabili- The 140 or so prints assembled in the and congregating masses, complemented gestures tense, clasped fist and passion- ty, but it is perhaps here that the artist intimate Sackler Wing of the RA transport by fabulous plants; delicately draped wil- ate eyes, yet we cannot hear the musi- is begging us to recognise the fragility the visitor back into the two immensely lows, red clematis trees and housed in cal accompaniment, he is so clearly of living things. Next to the apples is a but disgracefully popular districts in Edo, embellished pagodas. aware of. A far more melancholy expe- biro, which during the rotting now modern day Tokyo; the Yoshiwara More moral souls would be earnestly rience for the audience than those self- sequence remains unsullied, with its Pleasure Quarter and the Kabuki theatres, waggling those disapproving fingers at indulgent balletics at the Tate, for there smug offensive plasticity. places inspiring over- indulgence and Edo’s pleasure seekers, engaged as they are the observed subject is entirely unaware Also included are a new batch of sin- hedonism for literate ancients. These areas so patently are in dubious activities, sedge hats that framed the face with of the audience whereas here the man gle subject photographs, which were as were known rather romantically as the money fashion and sex emphatically the sweeping brim, and more than once I desperately wants us to hear. He per- always quietly beautiful and endlessly floating worlds, where morals and serious major preoccupations of the Edo resi- spotted a man of the cloth with the most forms for us, yet his audience is denied engaging. Fragility is a theme contin- concerns were forgotten, fortunes and rep- dents. Screen after screen shows assembled prized accessory of the floating world; a gratification. ued here too, with the focus placed on utations made and lost, and where love women gossiping over reams of fine cloth bevy of beautiful young prostitutes. This Taylor-Wood’s silent films aim to human frailty, perfectly illustrated in and murder flourished. Places packed with in the haberdashery store, or men parad- juxtaposition of the sacred and profane is place themselves beyond our reach of a Self Portrait as a Tree where a lone leaf- beautiful young women, effeminates, ing the streets eyeing prostitutes sat enjoy- evident throughout, and is a source of satisfactory or complete interpretation. less tree lit by a single ray of afternoon dandies, courtesans and frequented by the ing the obligatory sake. However, not hav- much amusement. The voice of Mute has to be an imag- sun stands tall against the onset of wealthy, literate cognoscenti. ing a terribly resilient moral backbone, I Much to my relief the ubiquitous Geisha ined one, as does the threat in Girl with night and rising winds. Treaves and Clark, guide us through the caved in to enjoy the exhibition, these was not given centre stage, and though Eunuch and even observing Pietà, From the grande dame of pathos we pieces thematically as well as detailing sty- activities elevated to an acceptable level by included was mentioned with appropriate which for many critics was the reassur- have a curiously intriguing exhibition, listic elements such as the development of the sheer aesthetic pleasure and amuse- self-restraint – no need to add further fuel ing element of the show, I found myself full of the Taylor-Wood subject, tech- ment they lavished upon me. to the West’s Arthur Golding and distinctly ill at ease. Here the artist her- nique and style we all know and love, If one is to squander time and vast Waterstones inspired obsession with self carries a nude Robert Downey Jr. in but as ever, she remains loath to direct amounts of money, it may as well be done Geisha. Instead focus was on the risqué her arms recalling Michelangelo’s reli- her audience, leaving much to the in style, and in the Floating World this was (and indeed it was amusing to see the well- gious Pietà in the Vatican. In composi- imagination and inventive narrative of abundant, and perfectly executed by the heeled afternoon Academy visitors tion not unlike a Renaissance her audience. flamboyant virtuoso of the artists’ brush- inspecting the ‘playbooks’. Ancient guides Deposition scene, Taylor-Wood teases Sam Taylor-Wood will be speaking for work. A woman lounges in the moonlight, to erotica in Edo), the carefree and the the audience’s perceptions with her the Visual Arts Society this term. Details idly running a comb through her hair. artistically trivial. And above all the own expression, which like the body to be announced. She exhibits at the Trailing clematis in silver and gold, each Floating World manages to envelope the she cradles, heaving and yet seemingly Hayward Gallery from April 25th tiny leaf detailed to the last vein adorns her visitor for an hour or two in a supremely unconscious, is an ambiguous sequence 2002. kimono. Even monks manage some enviable lifestyle. A joy for lotus eaters appropriate foppery, bedecked in deep everywhere.

Collage credits (clockwise from top left): Rembrandt: Kunshistorichesmuseum Vienna, Tracey Emin: BBC, Vermeer from Hibbard, ST-W: Jay Jopling, White Cube The Dawn of the Floating World is at RA Brassai: Brassai Archives, Caravaggio: Galleria Borghese, Martin Creed: Ingrid until 17 February. Open daily 10-5.45pm Sukenobu: Picture book of a pine tree i Swenson 18 January 2002 36 ARTSLITERATURE www.varsity.cam.ac.uk A

LIT SHORTS Heffers Fusion, forks and flavours Get your black polo-neck out. The anthology Oxford Poets 2001 cele- Marcus Omond investigates cookbooks, and cooks the Literature Editor three dinners too brates with readings tonight by Maureen Duffy, Peter Scupham, imultaneous to the growth of the more concerned with explaining how ble geographical focus: Mediterranean colourful tower blocks he favours is nigh Peter Howard, Jane Draycott, ever more tenuous “fusion” cookery Italian food works than providing sepia pinenuts “are highly prized and superior on impossible. This book looks gorgeous; Carmen Bugan and Robert Saxton. Sadvocated by cookbook writers images of authentic peasant life; as a to the Asian variety”; “The area around La but as a cookbook it is rather useless. Friday 18th January. 6-7.30pm. No (Gordon Ramsey’s Thai rice pudding with result, her book is better. Her book is rig- Mancha in central Spain produces some Occupying the other extreme of the ticket required. coconut and lemongrass, for example), is orously encyclopaedic, with extensive sec- of the best-quality saffron in the world”. culinary spectrum is The River Cottage Ed McBain, the celebrated crime a fusion of genre: the previously separate tions on ingredients and regional varia- In tandem to this insistence on absolute Cookbook. Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s fiction writer, reads from and signs cookbooks and self-help books are meld- tions; no bland, uniform Italy for her. Her cultural authenticity, the writers help us self-sufficiency creates photos a world copies of his new book, Money, ing together. Most new cookbooks come prose too avoids gush; although she is pas- pedestrian, un-cosmopolitan Brits with from Tetsuya’s; whereas his sea food is Money, Money, which deals with with a wholly integrated “philosophy”. sionate about food and hopes “this pas- useful translations like “we quenched our arranged with twigs to look pretty, Hugh contraband drug smuggling. sion will glow through my words”, by lay- thirst with ice-cold ‘cervezas’ (beers)”. The Thursday 24th January. 6-7.30pm. ing off the superlatives, over-simplifica- food, like del Conte’s, is wonderful, but Ticket required. Free. tions and stylistic damp squibs she lets the requires inordinate prep time: growing food shine on its own. The recipes she sourdough mixes and live yoghurt is fine gives invariably taste delicious; moreover, for hippies or Chelsea housewives, but not Wanna Write? her instructions are unhindered by the for students with tiny shared kitchens. Barbarellajoint.com is a new online, monthly magazine focusing on social change and cutting-edge arts, style and music reporting. The name is taken from the cult movie Barbarella, starring Jane Fonda, and the first issue is due this Spring, focusing on ‘peace’. They’re looking for writers of all kinds, who Nadine Abensur, for example, explains Fearnley-Whittingstall’s cuttlefish being want to do both Cambridge and her relationship with chicory thus: gutted in the bath looks more like one of non-Cambridge-focused reviews, “Maybe it’s my dosha (Ayurvedic mind- Fred West’s family snaps. This book is not interviews, and creativing writing. body classification), but I often seem to for the squeamish: there are plenty of pic- Contact Ruth at Ruthiecolbird@ crave a slight bitterness; even without tures of lambs being taken to slaughter, yahoo.co.uk or 07866801915 for exactly liking it, it seems to satisfy some game being hung and squirrels being more information. deep need in me”. If Abensur’s recipes skinned. But the approach is refreshingly weren’t invariably delicious, her new age honest: meat is dead animal, and better to tone would be enough to put me off her raise or hunt your dinner yourself, thus superb Cranks Bible. ensuring animals’ welfare, than buy the This limp, unintellectual engagement supermarkets’ intensively raised produce. with other cultures characterises the worse The River Cottage Cookbook takes the cookbooks currently published. Whole self-help crossover idea to its furthest civilisations are reduced to glib phrases; extent: it suggests a new way of living their ways of life are sanitised so as to (although it admittedly also offers less paint “taste the difference” picture post- extreme self-help than slitting a pig’s cards. Hence, Ursula Ferrigno’s Bringing throat and collecting the blood for break- Italy Home has prose with a remarkable fast). The other book published last year absence of thought: its introduction gush- that really wants to rearrange your life is es forth on “the importance of eating to irritatingly chatty tone of her compatriot’s The combinations of flavours, though, are John Pawson and Annie Bell’s Living and the Italians”. “The streets are silent and, if tome. This book is admirably untrendy doable; any prospective romantic interest Eating. John Pawson, reputedly a fine you listen closely, the sound of knives and and delicious to cook from. is going to be vastly impressed with cauli- minimalist architect, is fascist in his insis- forks can be heard. There will also be Del Conte’s book is like Sam and Sam flower with saffron, pinenuts and raisins tence on specific bijouterie: “it is useful to laughing and arguing, for eating is a pas- Clark’s Moro: The Cookbook in insisting or duck breast with okra and pomegranate have a couple of small dishes for tasks such sionate affair.” The book is divided into on an uncompromising authenticity. The molasses. as roasting nuts. Those produced by Staub seasons, each chapter begins with a limp Clark’s use of “sumac”, “wheat berries” Restaurateurs’ cookbooks in general suf- are ideal”. But his insistence on clutter few lines of verse: Keats for autumn, and “mojama” symptomises their incredi- fer in that they assume teams of skilled belies his minimalist pretensions; rather Swinburne for spring, some pathetic lines subordinates are at hand; hence they tend than having nothing, he stuffs his cup- that Marvell didn’t write but which are to come up with recipes which are deli- boards with “the most restrained off-white libellously attributed to him for summer. cious but incredibly difficult. Gordon china” and “Georgian silver candlesticks This limpness wouldn’t matter if it didn’t Ramsey’s Just Desserts suffers here: while [which] possess a timeless elegance”. Were carry over to the food too: Ferrigno’s cho- he may think that choux pastry “is one of the recipes as ghastly as Pawson’s limp aes- sen ingredients are those of the intellectu- the easiest pastries to make”, lesser mortals thetic, this book would be on its way to ally lazy vegetarian; no meat, but fish is may disagree. But most of his food is Oxfam; but Annie Bell is consistently OK. With the importance of pork prod- achievable, especially with his gentle yet stunning. Although her tone can grate ucts to Italian cooking, this seems almost firm instruction; and the thrill of making (“Knowing how to fix a mean Bloody as ludicrous as her neglecting to mention a delicious orange pannacotta or pumpkin Mary is an essential social skill”), her the importance of Catholicism to all cheesecake successfully almost makes up recipes are easy to cook and delicious: Italian domestic life, including cooking. for the five hours you’ve spent in the beetroot and apple soup, chicken baked in The food is invariably plain, tasting as kitchen. Tetsuya Wakeda’s Tetsuya, howev- salt with lapsang souchong, chocolate bland as the coffee sold in Café Nero, er, is more difficult. Finding the ingredi- mousse cake. Along with the del Conte where this ghastly book is available. ents alone is a nightmare (black sesame and Abensur, she provides classy content Avoid. seeds and live sea trout anywhere in in a publishing sphere increasingly domi- Anna del Conte’s Gastronomy of Italy is Cambridge?); but turning them into the nated by incompetent celebrity cooks.

Currently Reading: I’ve just picked prose makes this a good book to read for their father’s zoo. They’re packed up Giles Foden’s The Last King of when you’re feeling angry with the full of interesting information about Scotland, which is about Idi Amin’s world. I should get around to reading animals, none of which I can actually Literature dictatorial regime in Uganda, told Midnight’s Children again if only for remember. on the bedside table through the eyes of his personal doc- Rushdie’s wonderful exuberant style. I tor. I’m enjoying it even though his have a nagging feeling that Ulysses is Meaning to Read: There are so many prose style is a bit too journalistic. I’m also one of those novels that certainly books that I want to read that I am Sarah Savitt does no also tackling Frantz Fanon’s Black warrants re-reading. continually adding to my list, but Skin White Masks which is a strange apart from the usual (Proust, Marx, work at all and thus mixture of poetic prose, radical phi- Childhood-Reading: My childhood etc.) I would love to finish Gitta losophy, and political agit prop. I’ve reading covered pretty much the Sereny’s Albert Speer: His Battle with interviews the new also just started reading Jane Eyre for entire ouevre of Enid Blyton (Famous Truth. I read the first fifty pages over the first time. Five, Five Find Outers, Secret Seven, the summer but had to give it up. It is Literature Editor, etc.) and an author who nobody based on interviews with Speer, who Must Re-Read: I am always meaning seems to have ever heard of – Willard was Hitler’s architect, but got off at Sameer Rahim, in the to re-read Martin Amis’ Money, which Price. He wrote about the adventures Nuremberg. It is an examination of was one of the most enjoyable fiction- of two rugged American boys who go his post-war guilt over his knowledge office. al experiences of my life. His lethal to exotic locations and collect animals of the Holocaust. 18 January 2002 A www.varsity.cam.ac.uk ARTSLITERATURE 37 Taking drugs Sepia-tinted success Richard Pearce reads soberly and says no Sarah Penn reads and recommends Isabel Allende’s Portrait in Sepia eople talking about drugs, in leaves little space for writers who use yet fragmented; they originate in the continents. Sexuality and femininity terms of the amount they drank, drug literature as a way into interesting dark corners of myth and memory as are powerful presences throughout the Pdropped, ingested, or took anally, questions or even just good prose, such she attempts to reconstruct her ances- novel as Allende confronts issues still are not talking about an interesting as Baudelaire, Huxley, and Irvine try. Here, in the disparate scenes of very much alive today in her native subject. Drugs are fine (well, that’s Welsh, all of whom are underused. turn of the century San Francisco, Chile and in the Western world. probably not necessarily true, but this is I should be fair to the book and point Edwardian London and war-torn The political backdrop also plays an not an anti-drug rant nor am I anti- out that the discussions of the various Chile, Allende’s characters radiate important role, from the child prosti- drugs per se) and booze has enriched aspects of drug-use in aboriginal soci- energy and life, and a vast yet intimate tutes of San Francisco’s China Town to and even informed my Cambridge life. eties are very-well researched. Again, canvas of her diverse heritage begins the civil war and women’s suffrage My advice is simply to take something the point is that the book doesn’t sell to emerge. movement in Chile. Just as Aurora and enjoy it. Do something for its own itself on those terms. I think the use of Aurora herself provides the necessary must face the obscure demons of her sake, and not because you think it drugs in non-industrial societies is and constant as she attempts to grasp the makes you a more interesting person. would be extremely interesting, but would wholeheartedly recommend elusive threads of her past and weave These are my prejudices, and I should Rudgley has simply collected different this immensely readable family them together into some cohesive be honest and say I brought each and accounts of drug taking and truncated Isaga, viewed through the eyes of identity. I was gradually drawn more every one to Richard Rudgley’s collec- them to the extent where any unique Aurora, an Anglo-American-Chilean- tion Wildest Dreams, An Anthology of flavour they might have is diluted, Chinese girl, which takes place over Drug-Related Literature. It is divided beyond both real academic interest and the years 1862-1910. It is most defi- into seven parts which are broadly accomplished writing. Will Self’s nitely not just a historical drama, but linked historically and thematically, restrained (I know, but here he really is a two-way journey back into the beginning with Second Century restrained) debunking of Burroughs recesses of Aurora’s background, and accounts of witchcraft and ending with puts Western appropriation of drug- at the same time forwards through her and more towards Aurora; a measure an Irvine Welsh extract set in a Bowls reverence into perspective. youth and married life. We see images of Allende’s masterful ability to por- Members’ Club. The latter is strongest Collections of pieces can be excellent of the past flash by which are intense tray characters with tenderness and in showing the parsimonious in life and even exquisite if they are of suffi- maintain a sympathy that never slips youth, so too must Chile come to rather than being a strict ‘drug piece’. cient quality. The collection here is of beyond a realistic sense of human terms with its own turbulent history I make this point because while the just too mixed value to be worth con- behaviour. The members of her family of social unrest and inequality. What I book sells itself as ‘drug-related’, the sidering. If you’re interested in drug-lit- are likewise drawn with an effective found most impressive in Allende’s approach they take – simply recounting erature, there are better things written mixture of the hypnotic magic of leg- writing was her skill in painting such a drugs and what they do – is really about drugs, either appreciated on their end and an affectionate intimacy. Her wide panorama that stretches through tedious. I think the book overstretches own terms or as windows into life. I gigantic Aunt Paulina rises prominent three continents and many more cul- in its aims and what Rudgley believed don’t buy Burroughs’, Hunter’s, or amongst them as the domineering tures, over a period of fifty years, but that, if he put in a few bits of Burroughs Marks’ fixations and there’s not enough matriarch of the Chilean family, at the same time maintains a captivat- and Howard Marks, their elan would here to counter their poor writing. Just whose massive Florentine bed starts ing reality in each tiny detail of per- diffuse into the boring bits. All of this say no. the novel with its progress across three sonality and emotion. want to get your creative writing published? want to have it introduced by Andrew Motion and Nick Cave? the deadline for submissions to the May Anthologies 2002 is this Monday, 21 Jan

entries will not be accepted unless they comply with the following specifications... poetry: up to 5 poems of any length fiction: up to 3 pieces of no more than 10,000 words each your name should not appear anywhere on the work...please submit a cover sheet with your name, college, email address, home address and the titles of your submissions...send 5 copies of each piece and each piece on a disk clearly labelled with your name...all submissions to Ed Hall, 11- 12 Trumpington St , by 21 Jan 2002. 18 January 2002 38 SPORT www.varsity.cam.ac.uk Leggate legs it Hants pants

only narrowly missed out on team vic- Netball into the shooters from Anna Clinton, Varsity Cross Country tories. meant we only failed to achieve our In the men’s Blues race, Cambridge 73 Cambridge objective by one goal- the half-time Ellen Leggate were forced into a defensive position 14 Northampton score was 35-7. from the start with Oxford fielding The third quarter bore sorry witness Michaelmas term finished with a cli- the winner of the previous two years Liz Bates to the worst Cambridge play of the max for the Hare & Hounds, with the plus the second place athlete from match. Maybe we were tiring slightly, 110th Cross-country Varsity Match. 1998. Rowan Hooper led the Depleted by injury and weakened by most likely it was just apathy, but The men’s Blues were unlucky to lose Cambridge challenge, finally finishing illness, the Blues could have had cause either way careless passing and but took individual bronze, while the in third place overall. At half way, the for concern. But a decisive win over dropped balls sullied our game with second team, the Spartans, lived up to match was tied but Cambridge were Northampton back in October set a disturbing frequency. Targets were not their name and secured a crushing unable to hold off several fast finish- precedent for the last match before met and frustration surfaced. defeat over Oxford, reinforcing their ing Oxford runners, so sealing the fate Christmas, and the Blues were not for Stirred into action by their own dominance of recent years. In the for the team. being beaten. Against the bleak setting rebukes, the Cambridge side had a women’s event, Cambridge took indi- In the ladies’ event, Cambridge were of Littleport Leisure Centre Sports sublime final quarter. A complex sys- vidual victories in all three races out to try to break the Oxford domi- Hall, more accustomed to hosting tem for the defence of opposition cen- (Blues, second and third teams) and nation of recent years and came with- Impressive as they have been so often beetle runs than competitive netball tre-passes, devised and implemented in five points of toppling the dark recently, the men’s second team, the matches (the court’s lines are peeling by Caroline Tunnicliffe, Lou Bamfield blue winning streak. There was no Spartans, were also never headed at off the floor), the Blues went out and Liz Bates, proved enormously suc- diappointment in the ladies’ ranks for Shotover with Cambridge finishing hard. The word ‘competitive’ is per- cessful, cutting Northampton’s posses- although team victory was unachiev- four athletes in the top five. haps innappropriate for this particular sion of the ball down to a bare mini- able on the day, Cambridge took the Individual winner was Francis match for, in all honesty, Cambridge mum. Fluent passing down court was individual title for the first time in Malone-Lee backed up by Matt found it rather easy. The first quarter compounded by beautiful shooting nearly a decade, as Ellen Leggate Robinson, Ben Hope and Gerald ended with Cambridge leading 16-4. from Kirsten Barker and Lizzie destroyed the field to finish over Gavory. Furious at having conceded four Nayler. By the time the final whistle three-quarters of a minute ahead of This term the Hare & Hounds will goals, the target was set for the next sounded, the score-line had soared to her rivals. be mainly preparing for the BUSA quarter of scoring at least twenty and a monumental 73-14. Naturally all Similarly strong individual victories Championships in early February. If conceding fewer ourselves. Even were concerned were more than satis- were also secured by Emma Pooley they can reinforce the individual suc- tighter defence in the circle from Lois fied with the overall performance and and Emma Calderbank a week earlier cesses of the Varsity Matches and also Farrow and Lou Bamfield, coupled the prospects for the coming months in Shotover Park, Oxford, in the sec- take revenge over Oxford in the team with an increase in scoring opportuni- are good. ond and third team races respectively. competition. ties provided by some inspired feeds Grade judo effort which brought his opponent crashing grade from lower green to upper blue, Judo down on his back. Pete was awarded going up 3 grades! upper orange belt, by-passing yellow In the womens 1st Kyu (upper brown) Sam Kearns and lower orange. Other notable per- section Jade Finnegan proved she was formances went with the female judo- the best by defeating three other brown The Judo Club travelled to Bedford on ka. Amanda Turner won both her fights belts to gain 30 points towards her black the 1st December to take part in an area with maximum points by throwing both belt. Unfortunately, Jade was unable to grading. For many of those competing of her oppononents down on their secure a line-up due to a shortage of the grading was their first, but despite backs. She turned at the right point to female brown belts but she’s almost cer- this the day ended with a good series of unbalance her first opponent and slam tain to go up next grading. Despite this results. All the Judoka who graded did them backwards; and then, beat the sec- minor setback, the day is to be consid- exceptionally well with all managing to ond with the use of a stunning leg sweep ered a great success especially for the five gain a higher grade. (O-soto-gari). The leg sweep also beginners who graded and who all Special mentions should go to Peter helped Hannah Floyd to secure her first gained orange belts. The sort of experi- Mash who on his second fight, at his win and then the use of two hold downs ence gained at this sort of event is first grading, scored full points with a meant that Hannah defeated three invaluable and will stand all in good huge shoulder throw (Ippon Seanage) opponents with outstanding skill to stead for the future. LEAGUE TABLES: WOMENS FOOTBALL Division 1 Division 3

PWDL FAGDPts PWDL FAGDPts CUR 5 3 1 1 16 5 11 10 Clare 6 4 1 1 19 5 14 13 Newnham 4 3 0 1 16 2 14 9 Darwin 6 4 1 1 24 8 16 13 Girton 3 2 1 0 15 2 13 7 Churchill 5 3 1 1 15 7 8 10 Fitz3 11143 14 Pembroke 6 1 3 2 5 12 -7 6 APU 4 1 1 2 5 6 -1 4 New hall 4 1 1 2 8 14 -6 4 Sidney 4 1 1 2 2 10 -8 4 P’house 5 1 1 3 6 14 -8 4 Jesus 4 1 1 2 3 11 -8 4 Selwyn 3 0 2 1 3 11 -8 2 Downing 5 1 0 4 4 26 -22 3 Caius 5 0 2 3 7 16 -9 2

Division 2 Division 4

PWDL FAGDPts P W D L F A GD Pts Trinity 6 6 0 0 33 4 29 18 Corpus 5 4 0 1 9 2 7 12 Queens 5 4 1 0 19 4 15 13 N’ham II 5 3 0 2 12 7 5 9 Catz 5 3 0 2 22 14 8 9 Queens’ II 5 3 0 2 7 6 1 9 Kings 4 2 0 2 11 5 6 6 Christs 5 2 0 3 8 9 -1 6 Emma5 20388 06 Sidney II 4 1 2 1 2 2 0 5 Johns 4 1 1 2 4 11 -7 4 Fitz II 3 1 1 1 3 4 -1 4 Homerton 6 1 0 5 4 27 -23 3 M’delene 5 0 1 4 3 14 -11 1 Tit hall 5 0 0 5 3 27 -24 0 18 January 2002 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk SPORT 39 No pontoon for Under 21’s U21’s Varsity Rugby Midway through the half, Oxford took the game by the scruff of the neck with a 17 Cambridge slick move only foiled by an inexplicable 23 Oxford forward pass. The Oxford team were then camped inside the Cambridge twen- Ben Speight ty two for the next five minutes and the pressure culminated in Oxford’s hooker, It was a match worth setting the alarm Webb, going over before the half hour. A clock for because, compared to the main missed conversion left the scores at 8-6 attraction, the U21s Varsity Match was a but a Cambridge penalty, brought about much more open encounter and an after a surging Abiola run, gave the Light engaging watch. Not that many people Blues a narrow lead at half time. were willing to turf themselves out of bed After the break, another Marchand for the 11.30am start to watch though penalty stung Oxford into action though and the game was played in an eerie again a slick backs move was let down by silence with only pockets of supporters a poor final pass. Following a missed dotted about the vast terraces of penalty opportunity by Oxford’s fly half Twickenham. Despite leading at half Honeyben, Oxford also had a try disal- time, the Light Blues U21s were put into lowed for crossing. However, seconds the shade again by their opponents from later, Honeyben found his kicking form Oxford, losing by 23-17. In truth, the and put a penalty over to close the gap. final scoreline was somewhat flattering, Oxford searched for a try with their back- for if it had not been for some elementary line switching play across from flank to errors made by Oxford’s back line, the flank. But, as had been the case right result may have been a lot more convinc- through the match, the receiver of the ing. final pass choked and knocked on. Just 90 seconds into the match, Oxford With a certain inevitability, Oxford fly-half Honeyben struck first blood with were awarded a couple of penalties to Photo: Rowan Huppert a penalty. Cambridge’s full back, regain the lead and stretch it to 17-12 Marchand, replied with a kick ten min- with just a quarter of the match remain- Honeyben’s imperious second half per- lethal as Abiola’s pace, Cambridge would yards at lightning pace, past numerous utes later and then Cambridge edged into ing. Despite Cambridge pressure and formance was ultimately the difference in have been on the end of a severe hiding. desperate lunging tackles to produce a try a 6-3 lead with another Marchand kick many attempts to get the ball out to their this match. But had it not been for school He has the reputation of being the fastest of the highest order. But too little too that followed shortly. The game was dangerous winger, Abiola, the game was boy handling errors by Oxford’s backline, man in the university and he showed why late. One got the feeling that perhaps if more than another kicking contest how- put out of Cambridge’s pressure by two Cambridge would have been dead and in the dying seconds of injury time with he hadn’t been so well defended against, ever and running rugby was continually more penalties that gave them a 23-12 buried with half an hour to spare. Indeed the highlight of the match. From within the scoreline might have been a little dif- on show. lead. if the Oxford’s final ball had been as his own twenty two he ran fully seventy ferent from the 23-17 final result. Ultimate success Good sports teams present at Brighton, six had cred- ing many of the matches. However the women’s fencing match for Cambridge. Ultimate Frisbee ible National ambitions. Cambridge atmosphere for this encounter was a lit- Modern Pentathlon Finally, the 200 metre swim at the Leys hoped to make it into the top three; tle special. Disc Doctors from Imperial pool revealed that despite their compar- Rich Turner thereby securing a place for Nationals. College London, are one of the most Laura Davidson atively sedentary lives the Old Blues Strange Blue’s multinational team, athletic teams on the circuit. Their play have managed to retain their fitness, Ultimate is swiftly becoming as sporting some of the best of Europe and is controlled by their captain; a GB All There was an excellent turnout at the with Johnny Stephens powering demanding a sport as you can find in North America’s student ultimate play- Star with a range of non-standard C.U. Modern Pentathlon Club annual through the water to beat Mark Cambridge. With six training sessions a ers, breezed through their initial pool strategies and throws to match. Marc Old Blues’ Match at the end of last term Chacksfield by a margin of seven sec- week and an ever-growing college scene, play. The first real test was Brunel Guilbert had an awesome duel with with this year’s members old and new onds, only three seconds behind whom the sport is enjoying something of a University; a well-rounded team with a him, spending most of the game air- pitting their prowess against the fat came the legendary Julia James (nee boom. But what of the fortunes of good standard of players. However, borne and horizontal. In spite of this, knackers who have shunned Cambridge Allen), who won the women’s race. Cambridge’s first team? After the after a tight start to the game, Strange hammers and blades peppered for tedious city life. The first event, The competition continued with the ignominy of failing to qualify for the Blue’s offensive plays proved to be the Cambridge’s end zone and the team show-jumping, took place on a Friday sixth and seventh events at the Old Student National Finals last year, slickest and they won through 10-6. A found themselves two behind with five evening. There were some fine perform- Blues’ dinner that evening in the Cambridge were motivated to make couple of easy victories later the team minutes to go. However, Anna Nelson ances and the end result was a conclu- University Arms Hotel. Unfortunately this years indoor season more distin- found themselves in the all-important and Andreas Heger handled faultlessly sive victory for Cambridge, with new- bronze Olympic medal winning pen- guished. The Cambridge team, Strange semi-final. Student indoor tournaments and helped us draw level, thanks in no comer Kate Robson winning with a slow tathlete and Cambridge alumni Kate Blue, recently travelled to Brighton for are well known for their unrivaled small part to Matt Harwood’s vital end but careful round in the ladies’ competi- Allenby was unable to attend to provide the South East Cup. Out of the sixteen atmosphere, with large crowds watch- zone grab at the end of normal time. tion and Jamie Frith winning the men’s. the entertainment this year, but Steve Cambridge entered sudden death, but Pistol shooting at the range took place Lennard and novice Jethro Johnson Disc Doctors had possession. The team the following morning, and the Old took up the call for the return of the needed a heroic defense. This came in Blues dominated the men’s competition Pete Joy Challenge, consuming all of the the form of Keith Hunter, who out- with Ben Halstead in first place and table’s leftover butter and sugar. Despite jumped his man in a fantastic block of Mark Chacksfield in second. However, a tactical chunder mid-race, Jethro was a pitch-length long throw. Strange Blue our resident Junior International, beaten to glory by Steve, proving him- proceeded to make pass after pass Harriet Thompson, excelled with a self worthy of the title of this year’s despite Imperials aggressive defense. superb score, securing victory for the men’s captain. Kicking off the 6th event, After two and a half minutes of posses- Cambridge women but with Old Blue this year’s overall winner, Pippa sion, under the highest pressure, an Pippa Whitehouse not far behind. Whitehouse for the Old Blues, was pre- opening eventually appeared and Shortly thereafter, the competitors sented with her trophy – a large beer- Cambridge wrapped up the game. took part in the three kilometre cross- filled crystal bowl that required immedi- Having booked their place at country run at Wilberforce Road with a ate downing. Despite her diminutive Nationals all that stood between closely-fought win for Cambridge by stature, Ms Whitehouse rose admirably Cambridge and the title of best team in Jamie Frith beating Ben Halstead by just to the challenge. In the women’s compe- the South East was the Portsmouth four seconds. Pippa Whitehouse’s tition, second to Pippa was last year’s University side. Cambridge soon found storming run of 10 minutes 58 seconds women’s captain and now Old Blue themselves battling against a tight zone- in the women’s race, won for the Old Fiona Boyd, with her successor Jenny defense. With hundreds watching and Blues. After lunch came the fencing Arrand third, and Laura Davidson, run- tremendous support Roshan Baliga ini- competition in Newnham Old Labs. ner-up. Jamie Frith triumped for tiated two crucial turnovers. Jon Harris Here the skill of the Old Blues proved Cambridge in the men’s competition, performed well, and Strange Blue too much for the current male mem- with Mark Chacksfield coming an cruised to an easy victory. bers, with last year’s overall victor of the impressive second, despite not having The new Champions of the South Old Blues’ Match, Mark Chacksfield, participated in the riding. Third place East are looking forward to performing dominating the competition. However, went to another Old Blue, Mark well at Nationals. We’ll keep you post- in the women’s competition, this year’s Stafford, and Ben Halstead was runner- ed. President Laura Davidson won the up. OUT FOR THE COUNT Cambridge bleak midwinter as Fitzgerald’s penalties are enough to secure Oxford hat trick of victories over Count’s team

Varsity Rugby and converting three out of three penalties meaning that after just 6 Cambridge twenty minutes Oxford were 9–3 up. At this point Oxford changed 9 Oxford their style of play and this could only be beneficial to Cambridge Nick King who were unlikely to win in a kicking competition between the At the end of the day, it wasn’t fly halves. As Oxford sat back much of a spectacle really was it? slightly off the ball and allowed Coaches, players and fans alike Cambridge a dominance of both went to Twickenham hoping for possession and territory at the a light blue victory and all that end of the first half, it seemed it either side could deliver was a would only take one flash of drab, uninspired and frankly genius to get us in the ascendan- rather boring performance. And cy. we lost. Perhaps the fact that we Unfortunately, this was not to had all only hoped for a victory be. Unforced knock-ons, off- was the problem. At root, the sides, sliced kicks and dropped Cambridge team didn’t play as balls piled up both sides of the though they had the self-belief break as Cambridge struggled to that would be necessary to over- find a way through the thick, come an organised, disciplined dark blue line. Though when and well-oiled Oxford fifteen. Cambridge had possession the Rather than trusting themselves pressure was applied ferociously, to put the ball out to the wings there appeared to be no way that and see what could be done with the Oxford defence might be the space that was to be found broken. Often the Cambridge there, we insisted on trying to runners were too flat and there- punch through the centre with fore not hitting the ball at pace Rivaro, Adams and runners from but even when they came fast, a pack inferior to Oxford’s. the dark Blue half backs, in par- Though the forward running was ticular the ubiquitous Sherriff, often strong, and there were few halted them with aplomb. turnovers in open play, the What Cambridge lacked was Photos: Rowan Huppert Oxford defence was just too that moment of brilliance and solid. skill that would light up the made all the difference. Probably Oxford hung on tooth and nail Brett Robinson, the Dark Blue afternoon. Oxford too lacked it they will be regretting the unnec- in those dying minutes but, in Skipper, was the man responsible but they had the platform on essarily direct manner of their truth, Cambridge played with for this. His experience with the which to build. The dominance play and the fact that the wings few ideas, little imagination and Brumbies and as an Australian of their pack in terms of both and full-back weren’t given merely continued to pile through international stood him in good scrumming and lineout play enough opportunity to run with the centre. As the final whistle stead for drilling his squad in the meant that they were able to the ball. When they were, they blew, the despair, shattered tactics and discipline that were keep the ball for long stretches looked dangerous and probably dreams and nausea brought needed to win this match. The and starve the Cambridge team our best bet at getting back into about by defeat were all too clear. game plan was set and all that of opportunity. And, of course, the game. Both Moffatt and As Oxford took the 120th Oxford needed to do was pump they got the result, the lack of Baker had runs that could have Varsity Match and completed the ball into the corners, pick up aesthetic appeal of their play led to a try but both were cruelly their first hat trick of victories penalties and take the three won’t bother them too much. cut down just before their pace since 1969-71, it was a case of so points. Their stand off, Seb Cambridge however will be took them away from the oppo- near and yet so far for Fitzgerald, duly obliged with ruing those small mistakes that sition. With just over 20 minutes Cambridge. It would be fair to some wonderful diagonal kicking now seem like they could have to go, one of these runs resulted say that Oxford had deserved in a penalty being awarded and their victory. They got the basics Howard duly converted to bring right, played to their game plan the deficit to just three points at and their defence was awesome, 9–6. as it had to have been to deny the Sadly Cambridge were unable runs of Adams, Rivaro, Baker, to capitalise and time and time Moffatt and Newmarch. again we saw the ball aimlessly Nevertheless, Cambridge did not punted forward into the grateful deserve their defeat. The play was hands of the Oxford backs. With not always the most sublime but the ball in hand, the Oxford it is easy to scoff at errors made team merely had to play out the under pressure only imaginable minutes to their victory. Yet it to a select few. This match was all could have been a different story. those Blues have cared about for A poor kick by their scrum half, a very long time and the impor- Taverner, led to virtually their tance of their performance was entire team being offside. The all too clear as we saw huge hits resultant penalty was admittedly from the pack, the determination a tough kick and out of what of Innes as he refused to walk Sam Howard would regard as his away from confrontation and a range. The possibility of an never-say-die attitude that, on equalising score was lost as his another day, could have made kick failed to find the posts and, the game ours. But this is all aca- somewhat ironically, that bastion demic in the scheme of things, of the Oxford side, Seb for the record books will only Fitzgerald, kicked the ball clear. read Oxford 9, Cambridge 6. Cup of joy for Oxford skipper Brett Robinson It would be pleasing to say that Bring on the Boat Race! Light Blues captain, Mike Count, in contemplative mood