1 June 1999
KEEP THE CAT FREE EST 1949
The Students' Newspaper at Imperial College Students Show Little Interest in Strike
The Association of University Teachers' Although there was strong sup one-day strike, which took place at port from the NUS, support from indi colleges across the country last Tues vidual student unions was less day (25 May), has been described as forthcoming. Leeds Student Union did a success by its organisers. The effec actively support the strike, but ICU tiveness of the strike here at Imperial was less than vocal on the subject. is more questionable however, as is David Hellard, ICU President, hoped the overall outcome of the industrial that students had taken his advice and action. come in to college if they had exami Services within college were unde nations, but vowed to fight college if niably affected, with the central library any students had been penalised for closing earlier than usual and many missing them. Ms Barker stated "we departments going without key acad avoided putting any pressure on stu emic personnel for the day. According dents who reported that they were to Ms Laura Barker, AUT representative going in for exams". at the college, the AUT "mounted an All AUT members who were on effective picket": On the ground, how strike are supposed to have pay ever, there was relatively little sign of deducted: The University and Colleges the strike, and most campus entrances Employers Association issued instruc were left unpicketed throughout much The 'fat cat' Vice-chancellor on show at Imperial last Tuesday tions that the amount deducted of the day. Photo: Ed should be 1 /260th of the striker's pay. According to the Registry all exam Most institutions, including Imperial, inations scheduled for last Tuesday or interest in the issue." She described dent support was mostly confined to have accepted the AUT's proposal that went ahead as planned. As Felix went most students as "sympathetic but NUS representation, students at the amount deducted be 1/365th of to press it was unclear whether any understandably concerned with their Aberdeen handed out stickers in the striker's pay. Pay deducted from students had skipped exams, but it own affairs". examination halls and joined in AUT staff should be given to the university's seems unlikely, suggesting wide AUT action was more successful rallies. At most universities exams went hardship funds, but it was unclear at spread student apathy towards the elsewhere in London, with pickets and ahead, using non-AUT staff to Invigi the time of going to print whether or strike. Ms Barker commented "stu rallies generating much press inter late, but at many campuses it was far not Imperial would take up this idea. dents ranged from those fully sup est. Outside London a series of pick harder to organise them than at Impe Further industrial action may be in the portive and joining us on the picket ets and rallies ensured that the AUT rial. According to AUT sources Liver pipeline for later this month and next line to those who had little information got its message across. Although stu pool University was practically closed. year.
Inside.. m Clayponds Approved L6tt6rS - Drugs & Porn 4
Editorial - Ed fills space 5 Clayponds is at last to be built a Vil prepared to pay Ihe exlra rent in lage hall', after years of discussion By Ed Sexton order to get the hall built. Columns- Voice of Reason 6 and campaigning. The decision was If the project goes according to finalised at the Rector's Committee sonable for the project, but it could plan, the new building should be fin Science - Herbal Remedies 8 on Student Residences, held last cost considerably less. Some money ished sometime next Spring Term, week, and should result in a new will almost certainly be provided by and possibly even by the end of 1999. Opinion - Cannabis II 9 social area for the hall, which is situ the IC Trust, with the rest being gen David Hellard, ICU President, was vety ated in South Ealing, opening in erated from increased rents: It seems pleased with the decision, but added Feature - Ghana 10 about a year's time. likely that residents of Clayponds will a cautionary warning on Ihe subject Details of the plans for building see their weekly bill increase by of increased rents; "presumably the Competition-Railcard 11 the social area were still vague as about £1.20 a week for the next five rents will drop back down after five Felix went to press, with neither col years. Although many have sug years." ReVieWS -The usual lot 12 lege nor ICU sources being able to gested it is a dangerous precedent to Dr Mark Tyrer, warden of Clay confirm exactly how the project will fund hall projects by increasing rents, ponds, was unfortunately unavailable Sport - Clash of the Bars 23 be funded. It has been suggested a survey of Clayponds residents for comment at the time of going to that an upper limit of £120,000 is rea- revealed that 80% of them would be print. CrOSSWOrd -bySheep 24 2 News 1 June 1999 Tuition Fees: Where Are We Now?
The recent demonstrations by students not covered by law, though, and fees at Leeds University (see last week's Felix) By Gareth Morgan have been rising. There are also 'hidden ISSUe 1147 are the latest in a long line of campaigns extras', such as library or internet access against the imposition of tuition fees. said that the Union, although supporting - there have been proposals to charge 1 June 1999 The most high-profile opposition to the students' claims, felt that the demon Cambridge students for accessing web fees has been at Oxford, where several strations had been counter-productive. sites based overseas. Editor: Ed Sexton students refused to pay on principle. Meetings could have taken place sooner Sir Ron Oxburgh, Imperial's Rector, Assistant Editor & Films: David Roberts They eventually capitulated in January, without the disruption, he said. has ruled out top up fees, which would Photographic Editor: Jonas Lindsay after losing the use of University facilities The only genuine success story so far have been added onto all students' Music Editors: Dennis Patrickson and severe pressure from their Colleges. has been at Goldsmith's College, as tuition bills. Some leading universities & Jason Ramanathan Students at Sussex University reported in Felix 1140. The High Court have contemplated differential fees, in Games Editor: Gary Smith stopped their occupation of the finance ruled in favour of the protesting stu effect charging more for expensive Sports Editor: Gus Paul offices two weeks ago due to fears that dents, and prevented the College author courses such as sciences, but no insti Clubscene: Giles Morrison, it was preventing students from collect ities from interfering with the education tution has spoken out on either side of Gurminder Marwaha &Joel Lewis ing their grant cheques. of anyone who was genuinely unable the debate. The final power lies in the Arts Editor: Helena Cocheme After the demonstrations at Univer to pay. hands of the Secretary of State for Edu Science Editor: Alokjha sity College London last term, meetings Meanwhile, there are increasing cation, David Blunkett, who can block have been taking place between stu fears that the crisis in University funding any efforts by universities to charge addi dents and staff in an attempt to resolve could result in further fees and costs for tional fees. i the situation. UCL Union, whose failure students. Rumours of top-up fees, dif Despite the fees, many universities to support the occupations drew criticism ferential fees and even outright privati will still suffer a drop in funding next year from both students and London Student, sation abound, although no institution of up to two percent, prompting many are involved in the negotiations. Com has levied extra charges on Undergrad people to wonder where the money has munication Officer Ollie Burbage-Hall uate degrees. Postgraduate courses are gone. Big Tutor is Still Drought Continues Watching You
The eyebrows of sta grals. Once again The cameras in the BMS building, tisticians have been By All Campbell Union staff were lit allegedly used to catch out rowdy raised all over Impe tle help in providing medics In lectures, have found their rial College this week, as once again inspiration, merely laughing hysteri way into the Times Higher Education the summer term proves to be devoid cally when probed, but it seems likely Supplement (THES). First discussed in of any interesting news. that this is just sour grapes due to 'Mish Mash', Felix issue 1144, an article Although this perceived drought their incarceration in the Union build appeared on page 2 of THES on 21 May. Is your seems to be far less severe than it ing during such beautiful weather The cameras and microphones in was last year, where space-wasting Chris Ince, Deputy President (Finance the building's lecture theatres are sup articles were given the glory of the & Services) was heard to comment "I posed to be there to aid communica pint really front page, Felix is still struggling to hate Unions", although it was later tion, and allow remote lecturing. find anything at all worth writing revealed he had in fact said "Onions". However, some students have claimed about. The editor of Felix, Mr Ed Sex The situation seems so desperate that the surveillance equipment could necessary? ton, was heard to comment: "There's that allegations of "news-fixing" are be used to "identify the trouble-makers", no bloody news! Where's my lighter?" rife, with one intrepid amateur jour according to THES after speaking with Senior statistician Mr J Monkey nalist allegedly considering staging his Wade Gayed, ICSM President. KOSOVO commented: "We have been attempt own death to help fill just one page. While all sides seem to be taking the ing to find a correlation between this The occurrence of such questionable entire affair as a bit of a joke, it has to seemingly perennial lack of news and practices as these have been strenu be asked whether the cameras are some other factor or factors which is ously denied by all those involved in indeed used for such Draconian pur APPEAL or are heavily prevalent in the summer the Felix news team. One member poses and, if so, what is being done to term. One theory is that Felix staff are refuted all allegations: "It wasn't mc". stop it. _ 0870 60 60 900 far too busy taking drugs to be both On a positive note, however, an Collection box in the Union Office ered to find anything useful to do." old ping-pong ball was found under Felix does not discount this point neath a table in Beit Hall. The ball was of view, although Mr Sexton believed apparently left there some years ago the constant and demeaning train of by a then fresher, and only surfaced examinations to which students are last week. The owner is believed to be subjected throughout the summer is in his mid-twenties, and could possibly more likely to be the root of the prob play ping-pong. Felix hopes to bring lem,- indeed, two senior Felixers have you more on this shocking, enticing been in psychotherapy after attempt and really rather exciting discovery in ing particularly fiendish contour inte next week's issue.
Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB Internal tel: 58072 Internal fax: 48072 External tel & fax: 0171 594 8072 URL: www.su.ic.ac.uk/Fellx E-mail: [email protected] Printed at MCP Litho Limited, Units B2 & B3, Hatton Square, 16 - 16a Baldwins Gardens, London EC1N 7RJ Felix is a registered newspaper: ISSN 1040-0711 Felix is produced for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publication Board. Copyright © Felix 1999. Photographic copyrights remain with photographers. Over 100 Tickets Sold In One Day! Free Drinks Reception with Live Jazz Platinum ABBA - Live A 40 Foot High Big Wheel Dodgems Classic Horse Carousel Disco & Bar until 2am Free Transport There and Back Over £15,000 spent on production JL Ticket Deadline f h June!
Prize Draw today at 5pm is for: Meal for Two at Luigi Malone's Two-Person Tent 14" Colour Television To enter just own a ticket by the end of the day. iCU More Prize Draws next week Letters 1 June 1999
To Legalise or Not? but would fade if cannabis were to be ogy, as can be seen by the recent press days. Monday the 7th June is the closing decriminalised. When was the last time release by the BMA and while I can see that date, but don't be the one to leave it to the Dear Felix, you heard of anyone being kicked out of biotechnology could have many positive last minute only to miss out, buy your Halls for having a beer? effects in the fields of medicine and phar ticket today. Congratulations to Nalini Bal- I am writing in response to the excellent Oh yeah, before I forget: the Net does macology, it seems to me that the lunatic akumaran (Biochemistry III) and Josh Law- article by Andrew Vivian in Felix this week. n't create porn, terrorism or whatever, it just release of GM organisms into the envi son (Physics I) who have both not only won I found the article to be a real breath of makes it a little easier to find. A copy of Raz- ronment is possibly one of the biggest their money back from having got their tick fresh air. It was a pleasure to read an arti zle probably costs less than the time you'd errors we could make. I would like to fin ets early, but will also enter this week's and cle written by someone who has clearly spend downloading a couple of images, ish with a quote from the report the BMA every subsequent week's draw for more considered the effect of the legalisation (or and all you need to make bombs is a small published (probably not 'sound scientific prizes. This week, all ticket holders at 5pm decriminalisation) of cannabis on the entire amount of chemical knowledge and a lot minds' here but never mind): today will have the chance to win a meal population. I wholeheartedly agree that of care. Having said that, the Net will '..We recommend a moratorium on for two at Luigi Malone's, a two-person the medicinal benefits of the drug should probably need some kind of regulation the commercial planting of GM crops in the tent, and even a 14" Colour Television. be made available via prescription. I also soon befote it collapses from over-use UK. The moratorium should continue until Anyone who wants to join an existing feel that the point is missed by most peo anyway... there is scientific consensus (or as close group can collect their tickets at anytime, ple when considering the legalisation of Let's see, if I sell my entire stash, I can agreement as reasonably achievable) just use the booking name or number of the drug is the fact that the drug is illegal almost afford a Summer Ball ticket. about the potential long-term environ your friends at the Union Office. If there's because the majority of the population mental effects'. more than 10 of you, we can give you do not wish the drug to be legalised. It Anon tables next to each other at the ball. would not be an advantage to the major Thomas N.D. Tibbits We all look forward to seeing you on ity of the population to have the drug the 25th June, for what's being called The legalised. GM Food Lacks Research Party of the Year'. There are a few extra points I'd like to Lecturers v Students Kind Regards, make which support the law on cannabis Dear felix, as it stands. Dear Felix Summer Ball Team It is impossible to test drivers to see if I read with interest the views of one SW they are under the influence of cannabis. Cooper in his recent letter to Felix (24th May Contrary to the advice in Felix, I did not elect PS Please bring a valid cheque guar There was recently a trial for a test that 1999). I am glad he was disturbed by the to show solidarity for my lecturers on Tues antee card with you when you pay by turned out to be unreliable. Consider a laminated sign on which the guarantee of day. Several friends who took the occasion cheque. young man or woman who has been GM free food was not possible. Unfortu as an opportunity to have a lie in asked me "pulling bongs" for an evening can drive nately he then went on to heap praise on why not: home knowing that they can not be pros it because IC is a 'veritable centre for 1) I do not know of one lecturer who Regulating the Internet III ecuted for driving under the influence genetic research'. This is precisely the rea showed any solidarity to their students unless they admit to doing it. I think we'd son why so many people in Britain are not over the tuition fees issue. Dear Felix, all rather this person could not get away too keen on the idea of transgenic food - 2) Several of my lecturers have made with it so easily, for the sake of everyone's lack of research. Much of the research it crystal clear that teaching undergrads is As the parent of two young children I safety. done on the effects of GM food is done a chore and that we are an annoying hin believe that I have the right and respon by the companies who patented the novel Cannabis users are shown to be more drance to their research work. sibility to protect them from unsuitable plant in the first place. In a largely unreg likely to suffer from psychosis than non 3) Having sat in a pub and overheard content. In all countries the state also ulated industry, most guidelines are vol users. mech eng lecturers deride the (perceived?) asserts this right. In the UK the most untary, and it seems to many that tesearch The fact that the decriminalisation personal and academic inadequacies of obvious manifestation of this is the clas is kept to a minimum so that the company would be impossible to reverse if imple their students, I wondered exactly why I sification of film and video content Uc, can recoup its outlay as soon as possible. mented. should bother supporting people who feel U, PG etc. Many claims made by companies such as Current cannabis dealers are likely to so much contempt for me and my fellow Content labelling has been extended Monsanto are along the lines of "feeding move onto dealing harder drugs, espe students. to the internet and products such as Inter the world," "lowering costs," and "lowering cially those who deal drugs for members 4) Exactly how much do lecturers earn net Explorer support it. Seewww.rsac.org/ herbicide use". Yet we currently overpro of the criminal fraternity only because they from consultancies? and www.w3.org/PICS/ for details. These duce food to the tune of one third, and it are in debt to them and those in the deal The phrase Give and gifts will be given sites are useful resources for anyone inter is due to unfair economic distribution that ing cycle (those who "tick" drugs to help to you, for whatever measure you deal out ested in this issue. there are starving people in the world. pay back debts). to others will be dealt to you in return' (Luke For content labelling to be effective it Cannabis is currently "almost freely Pharmaceuticals are subject to very 6:38 & The Beach) comes to mind... Is essential that publishers label their con available" and can be used and enjoyed by rigorous testing before they are released tent. It is particularly important that inof people in their own home with virtually no onto the market, delaying the release for 2nd yr bio undergrad fensive content is labelled as such else chance of police interference and an average of about 12 years. This is to pre children may be blocked from reading it. absolutely no chance of a custodial sen vent disasters such as the thalidomide case The phrase "Why do you look at the speck Many readers will have the opportunity to tence unless they are criminally active in recurring. Drugs, in any case, can always be of sawdust In your brother's eye and pay influence this in their professional lives some other way. recalled should any effect prove undesir no attention to the plank in your own eye?' and I urge them to do so. able. However, a rogue gene can never be (Luke 6:41) comes to mind... Edd Dixon 'recalled' and instead will proliferate very James Bayley quickly once in the environment, so effects (Web Solutions Manager) not seen now could appear in the future, Summer Ball Update Dear Felix, with nothing we could do to stop it. There are also other ethical issues - to what extent Dear fellow students, Deadline for letters for There was one thing in particular that is it acceptable to patent the food chain, sprang to mind after reading Andrew effectively giving monopolies to those Three times more rides, including an indoor is 12noon Wednesday. Vivian's article on cannabis. The problem patent holders, and does the continued Big Wheel, Classic Horse Carousel and with illegal substances isn't supply or the desire to make agriculture as monocul- Dodgems. Twenty-four coaches instead of tural as possible have any positive effects police. It's the (fairly reasonable) attitude eight to get you there and back. £15,000 Letters may be edited for length, but on biodiversity, and wildlife in general? Do taken by most employers and say, univer spent on production, compared with only will not be altered in any other way. consumers have the right to choose not to sities, that people who take cannabis are £5,000 These are just three improvements Letters need not be signed, but a eat GM food? criminals and should therefore be pun the 1999 Summer Ball has on last year's ball. swipe card must be shown when sub ished, fhe threats of unemployment, The scientific community is by no Tickets were selling at 25/hour last mitting anonymous letters. homelessness and expulsion are very real, means united in its views on the technol week and are only on sale for another 5 1 June 1999 Editorial & Small Ads 5
Biblical References a barrel organ". If some individual paid for the Student Pugwash New Frontiers Sorry, Mr or Ms '2nd yr bio undergrad', but photocopying etc then I can't really I couldn't resist it. Hopefully this won't complain. If, however, it came out of Regular meetings of this new society In Science offend any fundamentalist Christians, but C&GU funds... well, I'd be surprised if take place every Thursday at 1pm in I really don't like Bible quotes being used every Guildsman, and particularly the Brown Committee Room (on the The latest scientific research, on dis to sum up or defend a position. Why? Guildswoman, thinks that is a good way top floor of the Union). play at the Royal Society. Because you can find averse in the Bible to spend public money. This little pedan to defend pretty much anything. If anyone tic ramble doesn't really have a conclusion, Check out the newly created web Wednesday 16 & Thursday 17 June has a good argument against this, which but I would be interested to hear any pages at www.su.ic.ac.uk/pugwash 6 Carlton House Terrace, SW1Y won't lead to a protracted exchange of opinions on the subject. Can biblical references, my ears are open. language be as offensive as visual And while I'm at it, I have to disagree portrayals? Suppose 50% of C&GU mem with your portrayal of my former depart bers attended and enjoyed that barnight Success Stories Wanted Computer Programming ment's staff. Granted, there are a few - does that justify the songsheet? What if grumpy types, but I always found most it was 20%? 10%? Comments, as ever, are Yes Magazine is looking for positive Tuition of the lecturers interesting and likable, welcome... stories or achievements regarding dis and very patient with my inability to abled people. Having trouble with computing? make lectures that started before 1 Oam. An Apology Friendly tuition by IC computing For more information email graduate. Contains words that may offend OK, so most of this term's issues have [email protected] been somewhat below par - but that is to or try their home page: Email James at [email protected] Prepare for some pedantry. Earlier on this be expected at this time of year. This www.yesmagazine.co.uk year, as I'm sure many of you remember, issue, I realise, is at the bottom of the chest I was forced to apologise in tail-between- freezer. Its pages don't so much the-legs Sun-like style for printing the infa sizzle as simper. This week, however, I mous comic strip. Well, last Thursday I have an extra excuse. The viral/bacter Tutor Required Nightline Fundraiser discovered a copy of the C&GU Song- ial/buggy thing (technical biological term) sheet for the 1997 Fresher's Barnight in the that's been limping slowly around the Undergraduate wanted to tutor Quan London Nightline is organising a Felix Office. It had the usual Guilds' songs, Union has finally got me, despite my daily tum Mechanics to Open University bands night at ULU on July 1 st, including 'The Engineers Song', which intake of 10xRDA Vitamin tablets. Student. Only a few hours a fortnight featuring Coldplay plus The Fantastic contains such beautiful lyrics as "she was Hopefully I was better by the required, and generous pay on offer. Super Foofs and Hal & Roger. split from arse to tit, and the whole fuck weekend, as I was going to the Home ing Issue was covered in shit" and the lands Dance Festival. I'm sure some of you (in?)famous 'Mayor of Bayswater's Daugh lot went, and I hope you had a good Phone 0181 470 8831 1June,ULU,MaJetSt,W1 ter'; "She went to Glamorgan, her cunt like one. Maybe I bumped into you... Ed
/ i over £10. just pop down to tower records on kensington high st. and produce your Union card at the counter. Columns 1 June 1999
ike every God-fearing Englishman, do, but any such pay rise should be as ondly, the last vestiges of tenure should rarely succeed in quantifying the con L I appreciate a nice bit of horticul a consequence of root and branch be swept away. The idea of a job for life tribution of a lecturer, since many do ture. You will remember, dear reform of their working conditions, is unacceptable these more than their reader, my running commentaries on bringing them into the 20th century. To days, serving only as an "...this strike was fair share of teach the legendary flowerbed, but if you achieve this, the AUT should start almost insurmountable ing, and do it think that's the only planting feature behaving like a representative body for barrier to sacking not helpful, but extremely well. that has caught my attention, you professional people, lobbying the uni- incompetent acade Taking both would be wrong. From that frosty day versity authorities and government, mics. If people are not as unhelpful as together, the set last winter when the enormous crane emphasising the double difficulty that good, they have noth ting of bonuses arrived, I have, along with many others, low pay causes, namely a brain drain ing to fear from such a a pledge of support could be achieved been watching the progress of the two and the problem of attracting overseas measure as their abili simply, cheaply huge trees that were planted outside academics. There is already evidence ties will secure their from the NUS and, most impor the BMS. Granite aficionados every- from Oxford and Cambridge that this is long term prospects. tantly, fairly. I have where shed a tear when thousands of being addressed, which only goes to That is not to say that president..." always believed pounds of the infamous paving were make the strike seem more unneces- one should fear as that it is deeply ripped up to make two holes four foot sary. instrument of personnel policy. Short- unfair that lecturers are paid so little square to accommodate the new The first important change should term contracts are less than helpful, given their qualifications and the time greenery, and when the articulated lor taken to achieve them. They should ries arrived, I assumed that College had ^ | ww% g\ w% receive more, but I fear that this petu completely lost the plot by ordering "JI 11 llll I Baker lant, outmoded approach will win them two Christmas trees designed to give few concessions. Despite their assur Irafalgar Square a run for its money, ances, students are bound to be rhankfully disproven, it soon became affected by strike action. If they wanted clear that Imperial was now the proud to focus the attack on the university owner of two very large twigs, bereft of authorities, they should direct their life, ex-trees. Showing uncharacteristic members to refuse to comply with their disloyalty to the cause, I was gleefully non-academic, administrative duties. counting down the days until I could Come to think of it, if you managed to confidently announce that the trees bring Sherfield to a halt, after a week had gone to the great arboretum in the College would have saved enough the sky. then a leaf appeared. I was . >'.f||§ money to quadruple your salaries. This shocked. Immediately I suspected foul strike was not helpful, but not as play and began to look for signs of a bit unhelpful as a pledge of support from of handiwork with some foliage and the NUS president. Frankly, with friends Araldite. Now the bloody things are like Andrew 'ooh Tony, you're such a covered in leaves and- this really hurts- wonderful man, please will you give are starting to look like proper trees. me a safe seat when I've finished Damn you, Ian Caldwell! In the words destroying the reputation of the NUS' of old man Jennings, the fairground Pakes, who needs enemies? owner, I'd have gotten away with it if I was going to give my two 'pen- it wasn't for those pesky Estates senior neth on the Ericcson PFI bid to run the managers. phones and suchlike, but space has The Battle of Orgreave it wasn't. beaten me again. More about that next The AUT strike was a bit of a damp time probably, but now for something squib, with precious little evidence of completely different. I'm going to say any real disruption, at least as far as I something nice about College Catering. could tell. As you know, I'm not usually Honestly, not a wind-up, I assure you. the first one on the barricades hoisting A couple of weeks ago, I attended a the red flag aloft, but I have some sym combined '22/Links/Chaps Clubs din pathy with this cause, if not the actions ner in the SCR. For those of you not taken. Calling a strike during an exam familiar, these are the three elective period is questionable, but for the social clubs of Imperial, dismissed by Imperial AUT president, Laura Barker, to Voice of Reason certain senior College members as lit say that 'she will stand behind students tle more than a collection of pissed up who skip exams' Is grossly irresponsible, be to scrap national payscales. A relic but have appeared in part as a conse louts, despite counting the Deputy Rec I suspect that using secondary industrial from the sixties and seventies, it is quence of the risk of giving tenure, tor among their number, which pro
action as an excuse u t patently ridiculous just in case the person concerned turns vide the backbone of alumni relations. for not attending an "...in the words of old that academics at out to be a disappointment. If we had Anyway, the point is that the food was exam would get Imperial and De the same employment regime as the good. No that's not right- it was excel short shrift from man Jennings, I'd Montfort on the real world, good people would stay and lent, the best meal I have ever eaten at both the College and same grade are paid prosper, while the wasters would be IC. Normally in such situations, there is Senate House. Addi- have gotten away the same wage, shown the door. Finally, performance- tendency for the beef to be over
tionally, you are on f excluding the Lon- related pay should be introduced. It is cooked, but this was knocking on the shaky ground saying With it if it WdSn't for don allowance, painfully simple to assess the perfor door of perfection. All in all, a superb that 3.5% is derisory when it is obvious to mance of academics by a combination three courses, served and presented at a time when infla- those pesky Estates everyone that they of publication records and existing very well. My old sparring partner John
tion is less than 2% _ n are not of the same appraisal methods. If somebody hasn't Foster, Head of Catering, should con and many people in SeniOF managers... calibre. Universities published in years and is universally gratulate all his staff for performing at industry are settling should be free to set perceived to be a crap lecturer, why their very best to deliver a brilliant for the same or less. But that is not to their own salaries, rewarding people should they be entitled to an automatic evening. Christ, if you can please me, say lecturers do not deserve more. They commensurate with their standing. Sec pay rise? Publications on their own the sky's the limit, John. 1 June 1999 Columns 7
Mmmm. Statistics dent bunch all over the world and It's all too complex for its own good." out how Sherfield would react to the those lecturing here at IC's medical conversion of the Queen's Tower into Kevin was pleasantly surprised when school are no exception. Recently a Darth Vader should contact Kevin. he learnt of the real-life nature of the malfunction in the BMS technics MIT here we come statistics exams taken by first year med resulted in a medical lecture being ical students at Imperial. The exams, broadcast to both the medical and Imperial College's status as the MIT of Biologists confused by the dark which are taken whilst sitting in front biology lecture theatres. Whilst the lec Europe in terms of its academic stand of a computer involve being given a turing doctors voice was booming out ing is unquestionable. However, Impe Kevin had the misfortune to be in the set of experimental data, choosing an of the loudspeakers, a poor biology rial's students have a lot to do before BMS during the recent electrical surge. appropriate test, and instructing the lecturer was left we can compete on The windowless medical, and biology computer to carry the test out. This helpless and unable the world stage with lecture theatres were plunged into process is made idiot-proof by the to continue her lec those at MIT. Stu complete datkness for a few minutes. inclusion in the program of a very use ture over the ethe dents at MIT are The whole building had 'died'; the ful and easy to use 'help system', real voice of the revered worldwide whirr of the building, the background which explains the circumstances in doctor. The doctor for their 'hacks', the hiss caused by the air conditioning which each statistical test should be lecturing the medics most recent of which and microphone systems in the lecture used, and contains instructions on how was made aware of was to transform a theatres all went silent... a few minutes to interpret the results. Perhaps the the problem; how huge classical dome later the lecturer in the biology lecture fact that that no one had specifically ever, as the fault was on one of the Insti- theatre made the observation; "Well told the medics about the 'help' fea not directly affecting A Mostly Harmless Column by tute's buildings into the emergency lights have come on tures incorporated into the program him he decided to Kevin, a random entity who the Star Wars robot now...but we don't seem to have a explains the fact that not all the continue regardless, knows nothing about nothing R2D2. On seeing powered up OHP." Kevin wonders just wannabe doctors passed the exam. Eventually techni the the benefits of what this peptidoglycan specialist was cians disconnected the doctor from the positive publicity generated by this expecting: an 'Emergency OHP' to the biology speakers. However the stunt, the MIT authorities have agreed pop up out of the floor perhaps? Carry on regardless biology microphones were now not to leave the structure intact for the working. Frustrated with the disruption time being. Anyone with technical or For reasons best known to themselves, to her lecture, the biologist, Dr Maggie artistic abilities interested In partici Send ideas and contributions to medics are an arrogant and indepen Dallman announced: "I'll just shout. pating in a simple experiment to find kevin [email protected]
Presidential Talk-Back
Summer Ball mation and facts and I was right. One David Hellard, ICU President of the most Interesting documents is y the time you read this there will a confidential briefing on direct action only be five days left to buy your and how to occupy central adminis B summer ball ticket. Holding tration and the laws relating to it; such a large event is always a risk for watch out Vernon. the Union, the potential loss is huge; There are also details of the cir around £100 000. The styles of balls cumstances surrounding the resigna across London (no rude comments tion of the Honourable secretary in please) are very different and it is hard 1983. As the end of my term grows to judge which one is best suited to nearer, I have to try and match the your students. Royal Holloway are previous entries with something as throwing a mini Glastonbury, with enlightening from my year. Although bands ranging from the Bootleg Beat there are many things that I have les to Republica, no food or drink and found useful, it is very hard to fit the you party in a marquee, where as Union Bar or speaking bullshit in the QMW are having steps, hot dog stands box, so I thought I'd give you guys an and not much else. Whether or not we opportunity to be part of this unique have the right balance, at least we can and strange tradition. If you know of guarantee a good time, if not a ticket; anything that has helped me through only five days left. my year or something interesting about the Union that could go in the box, please email me with the idea Nightline concert [email protected], you have my per mission to be as creative as possible
onight is the band concert in aid of Nightline. It's cheap, It's in couldn't imagine that happening in dora's Box is a black box that is kept in TULU and the cause is great, I'll be such a socialist and understanding the murky depths of the Presidents going. When talking about the event institution. Office. I don't know who started the ICU Summer Ball recently, in my usual 'ICU is great1 way tradition or why, but the theory is that I boasted how Nightline was started in each president puts in the box three Tickets only available for ICU and moved onto ULU to promote Pandora's Box items that helped them get through FIVE more days Itself to a larger number of people. the year and that they found excep What I didn't know though, that they mperial is full of strange traditions tionally useful. When I first saw the Cost £55 students, £65 staff kindly told was that ICU actually kicked and conventions, but by far the box, I imagined that it would be full of Nightline out for lack of payment; I strangest is Pandora's Box. Pan blackmail books, confidential infor 1 Science 1 June 1999 A Cure Quacks?
Can spiritual healing cure warts? Can acupuncture help you stop smoking? Can herbal reme- dies cure depression? According to the WHO, 80% of the world's population would say yes, and use alternative medicine as a primary source of healthcare. Joanna Marchant investigates...
Alternative therapies Many herbs contain active ingredients in mentary Medicine at the University of ones, including acupuncture for treat are rapidly gaining unknown and variable amounts, which Exeter was established five years ago, the ing postoperative nausea, and for den acceptance in the can cause side effects (for example first of its kind in the world and still the tal pain, and garlic for lowering blood Western world - an Ephedra, a "natural" slimming drug, only Complementary Medcine Depart pressure. But there are problems. "One estimated one third of which causes dizziness and palpitations). ment in Britain. The department aims to of the main difficulties", explains Clare, adults have used They can also interact unpredictably with conduct rigorous interdisciplinary "is getting the practitioners to take part them. In the past, prescribed medications - an estimated research into the efficacy, safety and in our trials. It is irrelevant to them patients seeking 70% of patients using alternative medi costs of complementary medicine. Clare what the scientific results are - either unorthodox treat cines do not mention them to their doc Stevinson, a research fel way they will still have ments were labelled tors. Some alternative procedures can low in the department, is "It is irrelevant to people queuing for their as poorly educated, also be dangerous, for example acupunc organising a clinical trial therapies." neurotic, gullible or ture, which has been associated with into the effectiveness of [the Practitioners] People in society ignorant, but surveys several life-threatening conditions, includ Hypericum (a small today are becoming show that those seek ing hepatitis B and HIV infections, spinal weed) into the treat what the scientific more and more disillu ing such care are now cord injury, septicaemia and acute ment of PMT. sioned with an orthodox better educated and asthma. "Any practitioners results are - either medicine that can't pro more health-con Other therapies and herbal reme who advocate the use vide all the answers, that scious than ever dies do not have any effect, and a par of untested medicines way they will still uses drugs which are before. There is a ticularly worrying scenario occurs when are playing with patients' seen as artificial and growing belief that alternative people use alternative therapies as a lives", Clare said. "Here have people which cause side approaches to healthcare are safer, replacement to conventional medical at Exeter we carry out effects. Many are now healthier and more environmentally treatment. There are often no regula scientific, randomised, queuing for their turning to the idea of a friendly than so-called 'Western' medi tions controlling practitioners. Through controlled trials to see natural cure. It Is impor cines. ignorance, or an eagerness to identify how effective these ther therapies" tant for us all to realise It is easy to see the attraction. Many the mental and emotional components apies really are. Safety is the danger of ignoring alternative therapists of an illness, some ther a primary concern." the benefits of some regard most if not all dis- apists may overlook slg- Clare's work is going well Hypericum herbal medicines and traditional treat eases as potentially cur- Some alternative nificant physical has already been shown to be at least as ments, but also the dangers of turning able. They offer a problems. Asonemed- effective in treating depression as con our backs on conventional medicine in comprehensive and sim- procedures can also ical student at IC ventional medicines, and with far fewer favour of untested, anecdotal tteatments. pie message, with describes, it's a very real side effects. Other trials being con The best way forward for Western med answers to many of the be dangerous, for problem. "I examined ducted by the department include icine is undoubtedly an integrated problems that have a Korean lady with acupuncture for headaches and for approach, but only if the alternative ther been Ignored or han example breast cancer", she says. smoking cessation, spiritual healing for apies are first subjected to the same rig dled badly in the con "For months she'd sim warts, and homeopathy. There have orous scientific testing as conventional ventional healthcare acupuncture" ply been using a herbal been many negative results, but also drugs. system. Practitioners paste given to her by an positive spend time talking to alternative medicine patients, listening to their problems and practitioner. By the time she came to the encouraging them to relax - an undoubt doctor she was in the very late stages. edly beneficial approach which is scarce She's probably dead now". The NHS is in the NHS. now moving to integrate many alterna But do these alternative treatments tive therapies into the service, but the work, other than as a placebo effect? In basic problem remains - that most of most cases we just don't know, and that these treatments are not clinically proven. Is precisely the problem. Several phar There is no reasonable evidence that maceuticals were originally discovered in they work, or that they are safe. natural products, from digitalis and This situation is starting to change, aspirin, to yohimbine (for impotence). however. The Department of Comple 1 June 1999 Opinion What would Legalisation Lead to?
In the second of our two part exploration of the attitudes surrounding the legalisation of drugs, Felix looks at the arguments in
favour of de-regulatlon. Danny Kushllck, a spokesman for Transform - a pressure group which believes that current British drug
laws should be re-examined - answers questions on the benefits and problems of legalisation.
Q: Will direct action such as the may- worse. At least half of all property crime we want alcohol and tobacco sold get that cannabis is not harmless. It is day march help legalise cannabis? is related to fundralsing to support a exclusively through the criminal market? generally smoked and smoking causes habit. It is purely because of the pro If we were to ban them we'd increase disease. Remember Bob Marley died of A: I don't know whether rallies like hibition of these drugs that the price is the price massively, lower the quality lung cancer. this actually change anything in them so high and consequently addicts have and have a massive increase in property The serious and undesirable social selves and we are deluding ourselves if to steal to support it. Most of the crime associated with feeding a problems associated with heroin, crack we think that they do. However, as part Mafia's profits accrue from illegal drug tobacco habit. And let's not be deluded and speed are in the main created and of a larger plan, it plays its part. sales. The market belongs to them. It by the language of the government. definitely exacerbated by their illegality. Cannabis will be legalised when costs the UK 6 billion pounds Alcohol and tobacco are very danger The issue is to create a policy around the crisis caused by its prohibition com a year dealing with the fall- ous drugs. How come we're so con drug use and misuse that first and fore bined becomes too great for Govern V out from prohibition. The cerned about the gateway myth of most reduces harm and reduces costs. ment to bear - financially and in terms Illegal trade in the UK is cannabis leading to 'harder' drugs, Prohibition does not do that and legal of public opinion. And also when worth 19 billion a year. when the gateway drugs that we all isation does. It's that simple. Legali the government feels Many of our inner city start using first are the very dangerous sation is not a cure-all however. People safe enough to put it areas are being decimated ones of alcohol and tobacco. Tobacco will still get ill and die as they do with properly on the polit by street dealers kills 300 each every day, alcohol 100 alcohol and tobacco. But we could ical agenda. and violence, dirty each and every day, heroin 3 each and reduce the crime associated with mis Our job as drug needles and acquis every day. Interestingly most of the use, raise revenue, stop stigmatising law reformers is to itive crime. Intra heroin deaths are to do addicts, give out better information, raise the issue on venous drug users with ignorance of the strength of restore civil rights, empty our prisons that agenda. Our activ themselves are what they were using. A problem that and ultimately begin to address the ities range from standing scapegoated and would be solved by legalising. Heroin underlying problems drug misuse, in elections on the single suffer the health con is a relatively safe drug compared with namely poverty and lack of opportu issue of legalisation, sequences of prohibition. alcohol and tobacco. And let's not for nity. speaking to local and Increased HIV and Hepatitis national policy makers, direct transmission, death from action like smokey bears picnics, pure heroin (ten in Bristol producing policy documents, getting in the last 2 months, six In Nor media coverage, starting student folk) etc etc. As far as we are con groups etc. cerned it is anti-prohibitionism which is The Arts Appreciation Society Transform is part of a larger alliance the important Issue rather than the spe to change policy and legislation in the cific issue of cannabis. And by address wishes to thank all of its 283 UK. Or work falls into three main areas: ing drug policy as a whole we can begin members for their continued Policy, Membership and Media. We are to see the underlying issues involved in involved in policy making forums at a creating progressive change. support over the last year. local and national level. We have an active membership who involve them Q: What Is your response to the selves in activities from writing to their often heard criticism "It's all very well to MP to putting on debates and parties. legalise some relatively harmless drugs, Some of the shows for which We have three active student groups such as cannabis, but these Inevitably one of which is an official student soci lead on to harder and more addictive we intend to arrange, tickets ety affiliated to the NUS. drugs, which have serious and unde during the coming year include: sirable social problems associated with Q: How do events such as the may- them"? day march fit In with Transform's policy Chicago * The Lion King of re-examining the legal status of all A: We are absolutely clear that it is West Side Story * Rent Illegal drugs? so-called dangerous drugs which need to be legalised. It is absolutely madness Saturday Night Fever * Cats A: Cannabis prohibition Is one part to leave the dangerous drugs In the $0 ...plus loads more, including other y of the problem. It is an important fight hands of an unregulated uncontrolled to repeal this bullshit law. I received a marketplace. We have a choice here: musicals, opera, ballet an
Amid a swirl of unstable, corrupt and often internally vio lent francophone countries, Ghana sits comfortably, as wide and grand as its women sat on the packed 'tro- tro' minibuses. Where is Ghana? Despite my love of the world and an insatiable desire to be on 'speaking terms' with as much of it as possible, I did not know where in the dark continent this country held court. I was going to live and work there, so I had better know its coordinates. I always feel that it is a traveller's duty to be able to find his own way to his destina tion, just in case the pilot loses his sense of direc tion. You never know. Dramatic realignment was needed on leaving that special aircraft-cabin climate. Heat and humid ity hits like a wall. That warm tropical smell was famil iar to me from other equatorial lands that I had travelled in. Excited anticipation. Removal of the fleece. The roads were roads. The houses, houses. And then... the shanty shacks, the pot hole crevasses, the smells, the sounds... Africa. But each ensuing day there was a developing story. Ghana is much more than a part of Africa: It reserves the right to be rather different from what one might expect. African countries are always going to have an intriguing attraction; the warmth of their 'developing' status, a fascination with the peoples' 'almost' contentment in living with so lit tle, and a jealous delight in the discovery of the free dom and closeness of their communities. I feel that these sentiments are felt by most foreigners visiting Africa. And, of course, being white-skinned in a con tinent of black, you get the honour of.being 'a guest in their land', every moment of the day. Usually these features bring many added dis advantages and difficulties in moving and living within these countries. This is where Ghana becomes so special. Ghana is an oasis In West Africa, or indeed, the programme of social activities. Volunteers are the India, Nepal, Russia .... And a few others! Wherever African Continent. It is remarkably safe, unswervingly creme de la creme, guaranteeing good company, you chose to work it is a great way to take a break hospitable, and can offer those Western comforts firm friends and excellent contacts for life. It can from studying, whilst giving yourself something that around the clock, throughout the year. And the peo seem a bit odd to pay for the honour of 'volun will help you in the long term; prospective employ ple? My new way of describing the most friendly of teering' yourself, but when you are there you do ers look at volunteers who have worked in devel personalities is to refer to them as 'Ghanaian'. realise what you are achieving; real personal satis oping countries as resourceful and dynamic There are sand, palm-fringed beaches, body- faction is yours on an immediate basis. And the long individuals who can cope with challenges, have an boarding waves, bars, clubs, restaurants, cinemas, term advantages are also substantial in this present international breadth of experience, and are, after jet-skiing, go-karting; a place of plenty for anyone. day scramble for graduate jobs. all, a bit of a saint. Perfect. You can also teach in the schools, help with con Ghana is a superb destination for this pro For me, Ghana did offer something outstanding. servation projects in the tropical rainforests, do your gramme. It is 'Third World', but with all the mod-cons It has found itself clearly defined on my map; the Medical Elective in the hospitals and rural clinics, if you need them. You can get a position in almost emphasis is on having as much fun and madness as practice law In a firm, accountancy, IT, marketing, or any area of work through the organisation. Both possible in a beautiful part of the African continent, complete your dissertation there. yourself and the people that you are assisting gain full of culture and tribal groups, and where you can
These are just some of the opportunities avail enormously from the cultural exchange. live 'a life of Riley1 for a few pounds. Try it - wedge able to you. I was there for four months, living, If you fancy the idea, but not In Ghana, or want yourself in next to a large Ghanaian lady, and feel breathing and working in Ghana with the organisa to use the opportunity to brush up on a language the ampleness this country has to offer. tion Teaching and Projects Abroad. Volunteers were at the same time, the organisation also operates in You can contact Teaching and Projects Abroad on doing a full range of work, and an equally rigorous Mexico (Spanish), Brazil (Portuguese), Togo (French), 01903 859911, or e-mail: [email protected] 1 J"ne 1999 Competition " Win Young Persons Railcards!
As any conscientious traveller knows, mean your nose. No, you're going to rail is the way to go. Coach may be have to exercise your grey matter, and slightly cheaper, but trains have a ten answer the following question: dency towards speed and comfort, and, whatever bad comedians may When was the first railway- say, are a damn sight more reliable. opened for public use in What could be more useful to the aver Britain? age student, therefore, than a Young Persons Railcard? Send answers to [email protected] with Not only does the Young Persons the subject header 'Railcard Comp' Railcard offer one third off all stan before Wednesday evening, along with dard rail fares in Great Britain, but it contact details. also offers savings on the other essen The first five names out of the vir tials of a student lifestyle. Current tual hat, as our esteemed film editor offers include 3 pints for the price of calls it, will win themselves a railcard, 2 at Firkin pubs, reductions at McDon I'm not entirely sure why we were sent a picture of a stuffed sheep, but and the love and adoration of all. As alds, discounts off Sony CDs and a I believe It Is meant to imply that one gets out more when one has a ever, the competition is open to all load of gadgets. railcard. Yours pretentiously - Ed staff and students of the College To buy a Young Persons Railcard (although, of course, in this case you'll and take advantage of all these amaz pay your £18, as they have kindly need to be under 24 to be able to ing offers, all you need to do is go Competition offered up five railcards for us to give accept the prize). Felix staff, their fam down to your local Student Travel away to Felix readers. However, we're ilies and significant others are not eli Office or BR station with a passport Somewhere above I seem to remem not Just going to hand these things out gible. No cash alternative will be photo, an application form and proof ber asking the question "what could to the first five random punters who offered. Correspondence will not be that you are aged under 26 or a full possibly be better than a Young Per walk in off the street. Oh no - that entered into. The Editor's decision is time student. Oh, and the trifling sum son's Railcard?".And, of course, the would be too easy. No, we're going to final. of £18, which will entitle you to a full answer is simple: a free one. Thanks to force you to exercise that thing you twelve months of discounted travel. Powerhouse PR, there Is no need to keep between your ears. And I don't
We are looking to appoint a part-time University Manager to co-ordinate local fieldwork for national student market research projects for The Times and Channel Four.
The post will be paid, part-time work during term time between October 1999 and April 2000 and would be an ideal job for a finalist, a postgraduate student or a recent graduate still living near the university.
Frevious experience of market research is not required, but to be successful you must have plenty of free time and will need to be: very knowledgeable about the university and final-year students in 1999-2000, with Jots of contacts within student societies & clubs keen, enthusiastic and not afraid of meeting new people extremely well-organised and efficient to meet demanding deadlines
If successful, you can look forward to excellent work experience, a generous pay scheme, and references to help with your future job applications.
For more information, please contact Carla Holmes at High Fliers Research on 0171 428 9200. HIGHFLIERS- 12 Music 1 June 1999 Albums LES RHYTHMES DIGITALES MEDAL Darkdancer Drop Your Weapon
ith all the hype that followed the crucial touch of Frenchness. How France winning the World Cup ever, the similarity by no way takes the hippy rock these kids arc: so W last summer you might have edge or originality away from the music. LH relaxed and laid back you'll be thought that the people of Britain The sounds are different enough to be would have had enough of their closest refreshing, but similar enough to retain :''1:;; '; ' neighbours. Flowever, as well, as that je ne sais quoi. French managers and players still doing It starts off as it means to go on well in the English premiership, it seems with instant head-bobbing funk, and sim where Ugh- once was. By Ihis I mean as if 1999 is going to be another suc ple vocals that will have the listener cessful year for French music in our singing along almost as quickly. The Drop Your Weapon.will leave vou fe< music charts. tunes follow similar patterns and the fy.:':i\:.\:?ff,:.,' 'vi'^l:**:':1:-'''" The French music explosion began non-complex structure only adds to the in 1997 with the emergence of Daft appeal. There's also a number of guest Punk's wondrous Homework album, vocalists present on the album. Perhaps T'U£:::.V';;:.;; ;';'>ffi':--''^ which was heralded by many as the the most interesting being Nik Kershaw, \- Safari. Then in summer 1998, as if the are present on Sometimes, which ;! ;; ; : t - F'' '-''' ^'V-5r '^y.'' e'''v.;N:v.:.:.y|:v' football wasn't enough, the British pub although not as bad as the song with the lic choose the French Music Sounds Bet same name by Erasure, is not the best alv\ v. u to full effect and stands ter With You by Stardust for their main track on the album. Nevertheless, guest !i;.v!-^' .-' ' ':"- ' ''-'" ' . \.:.):'/::.> '.t^'- summer anthem. When 1999 came ing on a tack by a credible dance act is pV;e ;^.;.'.U.:'!i: And will an A# work here? Lovely. along, one might have thought it was more forgivable for an '80s rock star with sounds not dissimilar to Beck's time for the Brit-boys to hit back, but the than trying to revive your flagging career ttfcere/f's M. but as noise level:, rise vou French dominance has continued with by landing a part in Eastenders. Cassius's fabulous 1999, and now we've So all in all those French boys have completers different ben- No \ icals got the equally excellent Darkdancer by ; : v : : done it again. Darkdancer is cheesy at J"'i'' .'-. :v'~-:_:.' ^ ^';= ?;=i? V;-;: '.':-: ' " ^^-' -'f Les Rythmes Digitales. : 1 times, and it doesn't break any barriers .-;^^.,.-Vii'ji! ,..;^r;-.-'fvi'^i'.V.j?: ; ii;;!.,'l-' .; :-H/ With Darkdancer, Les Rythmes Digi when it comes to music making, but it's tats arc your thing then you'll love it bul tales follow the pattern set by their fel funky, it's groovy and I suppose above all low countrymen and the style is thus a It's got that Frenchness. BI James ^y^W-^ : :':%^^}p:v:^'.' " vi:;,e blend of pop, cheese, electro-80s and but basically vw have to be in ihe right frame of mind for this sort of thing Is your soul in vow head? is & bit MAN OR ASTROMAN n petitfve in thai the vocals are hung around three notes with each Hne sung Eeviac * : "':v.!". i -:'v ,,.--"J': -: ''-V": v'.:;- :;"-yf i-S;'' hat can I say? This is weird, some people could learn to appreciate. pick vou up, shake you about and leave seriously weird. Obsessed The surf and skate kids love 'em because 'vv'/^viov;:..::^ W with all that is vaguely futuris they're so crazy. They have been known ' ;[§' ..:.. .,; . : ?A>£ rii<2^)?' a trio from Alabama who go by the and provide a much needed source of ; fi :S .v yWSy&':¥ names of Birdstuff, Coco and Star Crunch entertainment that makes the guitar boyfriend CM girlfriend arm never really and I would describe their 'astrostyle' of playing just about bearable. Overall, the got over II Just when you're beginning guitar playing as being not dissimilar to most noticeable thing that hits you about to fi el all relaxed, thoughtful and deep, your average 'boy along the corridor' this album is aptly put in the very first ihone The album is childishly simple in its sample of Interstellar Hardrive. if; ':-:.<:.:-.;^ structure. Each track opens with some Put over some wacky surfing film or Ayr yl§^ random sample from a sci-fi film, the gui as the music for a computer game, these tars play fast and hard and sometimes, 13 tracks would sound brilliant. But with <;E:e v^C;-'-J i;.-^.is^-T:': - - -Vi^^)y--^='r^:^V^^'-: : |rfyv if you're lucky, you might hear someone out the pictures that should accompany ttting missing What Medal have create d sing. All in all, the appalling guitar play the sound, listening to this is like torture. here will fx loved bv many and hated b\ ing and screamed lyrics interjected with In conclusion all I can say is give me few in the words of an old school samples of old men talking about futur sci-fi geeks, give me futuristic lingo that teacher, I'd sa\ they re good but could istic type things make for a pretty unique I don't understand, give me anything but O Ingrtd listening experience which I'm sure this. El Ingrid 1 June 1999 Music 13 Albums BASEMENT JAXX AFRO CELT SOUND SYSTEM Volume 2: Release called Bingo Bango possibly not be fan tastic? I'm not sure about that, but this one certainly hits the spot. It goes crazy f you were to think that Afro Celt with relentless Latin rhythms, calms it Sound System made music that down with a nice bit of plinky plonky and I was a strange crossover between then brings it all home with that whole tribal African music and the sort of Irish carnival atmosphere -1 defy you not to music that makes you cringe, you'd be samba. Yo-yo has what I would describe just about right. You'd also probably as a crunching bass line, tisten and you think that it's a blend that's about as will understand. Drugged out lyrics also advisable as tipping custard in your feature heavily - 'You were a prophet beer, but on that count you be most from above, then you came and sucked certainly wrong. mmm. Methinks I have found swing some body part in time to the my butt, my pain became my strength, Surprisingly the crazy pipes of the the sound of the summer here. music (ooh-err missus). Seriously though I am reborn and deaf not dumb, the Irish and the banging tribal drums of H But first of all, who are the Jaxx? this maybe the best dance album of the street forget' - meanings on a postcard Africa fit together like hand in glove, and Simon Ratcliffe and Felix Buxton take year - until the Chemicals present their please. Jump n' Shout brings in a bit of further, the blend of Gaelic and African responsibility for this album. They hail effort at least - and it's going to be pretty dancehall sound that has recently been vocals doesn't turn out to be such a bad from Camberwell and hold degrees in hard to beat this one. enjoying mainstream success such with idea either. The album features guests engineering and languages. So they The first single off the album Is the artists such as Glamma Kid. Anyway this such as Sinead O'Connor and ex-Pogues aren't just a pair of brainless monkeys rather funky Red Alert, it's the one with tune has all the classic dancehall quali James McNally, and although at times who fluked out a wicked album by ran the great quote 'ain't nothin' goin' on fications - a thumping beat, almost inde the album turns out to be more Irish dom button pressing. but history' that is being relentlessly over cipherable lyrics and that indefinable than African, the cheesyness of River- The best thing about this album is played on Radio 1 right now. The really swing that causes uncontrollable body dance is thankfully avoided. that it doesn't take Itself too seriously. great thing about this tune is that it movement when heard. Nicesh. Volume 2: Release therefore turns There has been a worrying trend recently blends so many different styles and This album isn't house, garage, pop, out to be not as bad as expected and of a lot of tunes that may have some voices that it always surprises you with a acid jazz or funk. Basement Jaxx only should give the Afro Celt Sound System great technical features, and are very little something that you hadn't noticed have one style - if you ain't dancing, a much longer life expectancy than their nice to listen too but don't get you danc before. change it. It works to superb, effect on satanic half-sisters Bewitched. El ing. Which is what dance music is all Another bunch which will be sure to Remedy. Get the Jaxx, get funky, get James about after all. It's practically impossible get you grooving are Bingo Bango, Yo- happy - what a great remedy for the to listen to this album and not at least Yo and Jump n' Shout. How can a track classic British summer. El Joel BARRY ADAMSON FURSLIDE The Murky World Of. Adventure mmmmmm, nice! Mitch and Andy dventure is the debut album of nicesh harmonizing from the rest of the describes the grisly end of a small-time the New-York based indie band band. This track grabs you by the ear hood who gets off on pulling jobs A furslide. The album starts off hole and won't let you go until you are whilst wearing his dead wife's panties - well with Over My Head a rousing tune well and truly awake and wide-eyed. no really, if I'm lying, I'm flying, hepcat. with some great throaty vocals. Jennifer My Friend's Gallery is a coy, kooky lit This music would be perfect accompa Turner (lead vocals) is plainly the boss tle grower of a track. It's full of some niment to a James Ellroy novel or of this band - belting out tuneful har almost Sergant Pepper-esque moments Hubert Selby Jr.'s 'Last Exit to Brooklyn'. monies and growling along with the of echo boxes and drums cresendo-ing. You can just imagine a world of petty best of them for the ranty bits. Of which It doesn't seem like much on first lis crims on the make, drag queens wired there are few. I am really glad that tening but it definitely plants some off their tits and chewing the roach of a furslide haven't taken the route of seeds, which blossom on further listen recently toked joint. The Vibes Ain't most female fronted indie bands and ings. Nothin' But The Vibes is lounge-room just whined about how crap it is being The rest of the album, apart from at esus, there's me thinking music of the most gorgeous sepia- a girl in the '90s. Jennifer knows what most 3 other tracks, ultimately just lives Portishead's music was seedy and toned hue; John Barry xylophone and she wants and by all accounts has got it up to the high expectations set up by the J dank. They've got nothing on for oh-so-cool piano. 007, A Fantasy Bond - she's not afraid to sing about It either. first track. But only just. Furslide are mer Magazine and The Bad Seeds Theme sees reggae beats and a tune Over My Head is a great first track extremely technically proficient - they member Barry Adamson, and this I'm sure you all know intertwine in with some tasty distorted guitars and an just need to take a little more time on album amply highlights the fact. Kingston, Jamaica. Taking tracks from evil catchy chorus that is sure to get the more creative aspects of the next Kicking off with a reworking of the alburns Moss Side Story, 'oul loads of air time on indie radio and TV album, and perhaps explore more of Bernstein's title-track from the Sinatra Murder, Oedipus Schmoedipus, shows. Jennifer seems to be singing the electronic aspects of their sound Smack-flick The Man with the Golden Something Wicked This Way Comes about how scared she is of some new which emerge towards the end of the Arm we're plunged neck-deep into the and As Above So Below the collection found responsibilities and how oddly album. It should be a corker.El mire. Horns squeal as they slowly presents us with a real smorgasbord of happy she is with the situation. Joel asphyxiate and OI' Blue Eyes chases eclectic beats, vibes and tunes. El My favourite tune of the album is that one last fix. Jesus Devil swings and Chris the hard rocking, organ-tastic Today For slides with Impeccable grace as Barry ever. The tune comes complete with a eulogises about untimely death - wicked chorus containing some very 14 Music 1 June 1999 Singles Round-up A-Old Folks Deftones but with those lyrics and vocals Beastie Boys - Remote Control / 3 MCs the final track provides a bit of free beat- The lead singer looks like he should be the note they hit is more along the lines and! DJ age for all you budding Fatboy Slims out in 911 but that aside this is pure adren of Silverchair. The b-sides were In the Ahh, the boys at their best. Missing the there. Like a chimp with a 303 on bad aline power-pop. The chorus is incredibly same vein too. They can have a point for usual superb lyrics and some insane DJ acid. Nope, I don't understand that last making me giggle at the line mice skills from Mix Master Mike. There are sentence either. have eaten all the strings.' two versions of this single - try to get the second with the added bonus of a live System of a Down - Sugar The Moffatts - Until You Love Me video rendition of 3MCs and One DJ. Thrash metal punk from some tediously If ever there was a reason microwaves Another classic from the Grand Royal weird looking guys. Not very good at all. were invented, this is it. Full power for a vault. And the 'uncut' version doesn't have couple of seconds was all it needed to nearly enough swear words in it. kill the offending kids' noise and create Fridge - Klnsoshlta Terasaka pretty blue lightning to bring happiness If you like lyrics don't buy this single, cos to all. Just think Hanson but with less orig it ain't got any. They would get in the way inality and the inability to write their own anyway. This is a lovely piece of chilled songs. Spare us. out beats and keyboard. Ahhhh. Ruby Cruiser - (Wow, How Cool Is) Joe's Lovecraft - Fun With Flashlights New Car This indie-ish slow number ambles along And Crap Song Title Of The Week goes pleastanly enough. The B-sdies rock out to Ruby Cruiser. It's not a bad song but a bit more - sounding more and more catchy, irritatingly so (in a good way) the whole sound is that of a bunch of Radiohead-like as they progress. The and there are some smashing har mates messing about in a garage and singer starts to sound worryingly Bowie- monies. All this is backed up with a not being too bothered about who's lis ish at some points. He wants to watch breezy riff and thumping beats. Get up tening. Having cars (and explaining them that. and dance! Super Collider - It Can't Be Long Gay Dad - Joyl Sounds a bit ketamine influence, this It's difficult to pin down what's so good one. Very drugged out and as a result It Toploader - Achlllles Heel about these lot because there are so feels like the tune is dragging its feet at Just a really good song. Takes elements many faces to the music. They've got that times. The midfield general remix is of Robbie Williams, Neil Young and Soun- 70s Glam thing going on but with such much more correctly paced and the big garden - but much, much bigger than the a contemporary 90s sound. Joy! has a beats really help it along. sum of its parts. It's just epic on the dark, mysterious verse and a totally jux scale of the Phantom Menace. Will be taposed chorus that work well together. One Lady Owner - Police Car Sex huge if there is any justice. All Gay Dad need now is a real break into Predicatable, punkish pointlessly dis the mainstream. torted pap whcih tries to seal a couple Stroke - Internal Call more copies by putting a sexy nurse on Very Spiritualized. Very, very Spiritual I Am Seven - Welcome the cover of the single. Works for me. ized. First track sounds similar to a A lot of the offerings this week sound Sneaker Pimps (remember them?) song quite similar, like these, Trashmonk and Garbage - You Look So Fine that I can't quite remember the name of. Liberty 37. I Am Seven do have a little Is it me or do all of the Garbage tracks Pleasant enough to the eardrums but more to offer than Liberty 37 in that the in minute detail), buying drugs and age have exactly the same beat in the back accompanied by an almost permenant single's a smidgen more poppy and will ing hippies do not a good song make. ground? It'll doubtless be very succesfful sense of deja-vu. most definitely appeal to a wider audi - it's just not much of a change from pre- ence. There's a hint of Ash (God forbid) Remy Zero - Cramarye Six by Seven - Two and a Half Days In in the vocals and a punk style riff that, all This is a bit of an arty one, this. Gramarye Love With You in all make for an enjoyable track. The gets a touch dreary in places but the Both the title track and B-sides get quite other tracks on this are of a high standard overall feel is a melancholy one. I got the epic at times. They can talk the talk but too. image of an 80s rock star from the I am not quite sure if they can walk the singer's voice but maybe that's just some walk. Have a listen first. thing wrong with me. The second track's less mental hospital and more a walk in Nojahoda - Teach Me How to Fly the park. Talented. Annoyingly catchy. With the emphasis on annoying. I swear there Is a casio key Trashmonk - Polygamy board bossa nova beat in the back Do you remember Terence Trent D'Arby? ground. Suddenly goes from bossa nova, Well, the lead singer has a sound of old to sheer ROCK. Should have been rock Terence about him, which is unfortu all the way through in my opinion, fea nate. Apart from this sad fact Polygamy Symposium tures a mental video on the cd too - isn't that bad, in fact I rather like it. It's great. one of those songs that makes you feel like you're being watched: it's creepy. I vious efforts. The fun Loving Criminals Symposium - Killing Position got pissed off by the third version, remix on the other hand is just so much Nrggggh. This is very much a balls out though. H better. Lovely and twisted and dark. Buy song. Wicked riffs very much in evidence. Christian it for the remix alone. Still not sure about the singer when he isn't belting it out at full volume. Other Liberty 37 - Oh River Erassy - Bonus Beats EP wise no complaints. H A British version of the Deftones? Not Very college rock with a bit of break Joel quite. Liberty 37 are certainly loud and beats thrown into the mix. They rock out have their hearts set on being the impressively on one of the b-sides while momEDINBURGH WARM UP SPECIAL Friday 4§h June £2.SO/£2 with Ents Card Every Thursday hm Spin v 'linted by J7« »«-Qfc' IMI'I RI\l.('oLLI.(il; UNION 16 Film 1 June 1999 Reviews Notting Hill * * * * Starring : Hugh Grant, Julia Roberts, Emma Chambers, James Dreyfus, Rhys Ifans, Tim Mclnnerny, Gina McKee Director: Roger Michell y now you must know what whilst Grant makes the most of the lion's Notting Hill is all about; the long share of the dialogue. BBC stalwarts B awaited follow-up to second-most- McKee, Mclnnery and Chambers are on successful-British-movie-of-all-time Four top form (the scene where Grant turns up Weddings & A Funeral, it starts with to his sister's party with a date that just almost exactly the same set-up, is driven happens to be the most famous actress by the same calibre of script, and pro in the world is simply superb comedy), but duces an equally brilliant end product. the real star of the show is Ifans. His every Unless something very strange happens, appearance on screen is a moment of bril this will be the most successful British liance, as he slides through life completely movie of 1999. No question. unaware that he's saying and doing com Considering how many trailers, pletely inappropriate things - and, to take reviews and clips there have been on TV nothing away from his movie-stealing per and in magazines over the last few weeks, formance, it's the quality of writing that's you've probably got a fairly thorough behind it all. grasp of the plot too - and again, it owes f ike all sequels, however, it's going to a lot to its predecessor. Hugh Grant suffer in comparison to its predecessor returns, repleat with comedy hair, upper- (OK, let's ignore The Godfather Part Two Interesting trivia: his salary - $1 million; her salary -$15 million. class stutter and winning style, and once for a moment). It's not as original (for obvi again he's trying to win over the Ameri looser, the weird flatmate - and once petitors. The characters come alive (OK, so ous reasons); Hugh Grant's stuttering can girl who keeps disappearing back to again they get all the best gags. they're all charactures, but so what); the shtlck is slightly more predictable, and the states at inopportune moments. This So haven't we seen this all before? plot twists and turns its way towards its disbelief just begins to creep in. Yet, it's time, however, there's an even bigger Well, no. Sure, it doesn't have the same inevitable conclusion to a satisfying just as funny, Roberts is clearly superior to challenge blocking the path to true love, brilliantly fresh feel of Four Weddings degree; and Roberts and Grant make a Andie MacDowell and, if anything, it's as this time the object of his affection just (whilst the jokes are all new, their style and fun (if unlikely) romantic pairing. even more upbeat -1 defy you to leave the happens to be the biggest movie star in delivery is familiar) and, like its predeces It's the support cast, however, who cinema In anything less than an incredi the world... oh, and the Greek-chorus sor, you can see the end coming from a provide the real turns of brilliance - indeed bly happy mood. Stress relief par support characters are back- the dippy girl, mile away - yet the quality of the writing Roberts has so few lines that she's mostly excellence. Q the disabled loved-one, the life-long lifts it head and shoulders above its com left to smile and react to those around her, Dave She's All That * * * Starring : Freddie Prinze Jr, Rachael Leigh Cook, Matthew Lillard, Paul Walker, Anna Paquin, Jodi Lyn O'Keefe Director: Robert Iscove K, before I begin I feel it's only which, as we're all perfectly aware, can't fair to warn you that I'm a suck help but succeed in a movie like this. O er for really cheesy romantic The point of all this is that, yes, the comedies. More to the point, you'd bet movie is very predictable, and no, it does ter be one too, otherwise you're going to n't have a Kevin Williamson style ironic absolutely hate She's All That. Filled with twist at the end. The movie is formulaic, every cliche, predictable turn and time- but the fact that the makers have actually honoured teen caricature in the book, spent some time putting some effort into it's like an episode of Dawson's Creek the dialogue, sub-plots and, most Impor with the intelligence surgically tantly, the material around the edges, removed... yet I loved it. It's brilliantly brings it to life. Consequently, whilst you uplifting, unbearably cute and (surpris can't help but root for Cook and Prinze, ingly) genuinely funny. The only down and yearn for O'Keefe to meet her come side is that, like all the best teen flicks, it's uppance, it's Scream's fillard who steals completely and utterly detached from the show, overacts like a man possessed reality. whilst remaining thoroughly obnoxious. The premise is simple. Prinze is the Oh, and his dancing is a sight to behold. Student President, the coolest guy in In truth though, it's the dream-like school, and a cert for Prom King. Yet with George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion (or the possibly turn into Prom Queen. Er, hello? state of this world that I love (complete with only a few weeks to go before that leg musical incarnation, My Fair Lady), which I realise it's a plot requirement, but surely my all time favourite - the comedy synco endary event, he gets dumped by mega- the writers of She's All That seem to have unless you're phenomenally shallow, you pated dance routine). After all, who would bitch O'Keefe. Cue rash promise to best borrowed heavily from.] Anyhow, empow can't help but realise that this girl is incred n't want to live in a world where friend Walker that he can make any girl ered with the ability to pick any girl in the ibly pretty? Oh well, at least it gives Prinze even the short, fat geeky kid into Prom Queen. [If that sounds strangely entire school, Walker picks introverted the opportunity to launch into his winning gets a girl? Q familiar, then you're probably thinking of geek Leigh Cook as the girl Prinze can't (albeit formulaic) chat-up technique - Dave 1 June 1999 Film 17 Reviews & Competition My Favourite Martian * * Starring : Christopher Lloyd, Jeff Daniels, Elizabeth Hurley, Daryl Hannah Director: Donald Petrie h my God, not another sixties The Cube TV series that's been made O into a movie? Sadly, the Low budget sci-fi? With no-one you ever answer is yea - and this time we haven't heard of in it? And it's not even based even heard of the original (which is a on a sixties TV series? Oh dear. But, no good thing, as by all accounts it's no - The Cube is actually a damn fine movie, better than the movie). Apparently, My basing itself on (dare I say it) genuine Favourite Martian was a sitcom where suspense, inttigue and slow, confusing in an alien wreaked havoc on his revelation (good sci-fi should be at least human companion, based around fair a little confusing - if your average punter ly generic plots wherein some authority can understand it then why doesn't it figure, on the verge of discovering the exist now?) The characters may be rid secret, was driven mad by the alien's den with stereotype, and the dialogue weird behaviour. So, nothing like / doesn't flow very well, but you should Dream Of Jeannie or Mork & Mindy n't let that get in the way of a clever and then. inventive concept and some very scary Consequently, the movie follows statistics. Oh, and it's pretty gory into the the now traditional TV to celluloid con bargain (the slicing and dicing of the first version process - throw out the spirit victim is frighteningly engrossing). and most of the humour, and paste over the cracks with a massive special effects budget. Yeah, sure it's a kids Help! Retro-futurlstlc style Is back. Noooooooooooo. Home Fries movie, but that surely doesn't mean that producers and directors don't need the title role. Director Petrie thus Anyhow, if loud, crude and obvious Since her return from rehab. Drew Bar- to try? Anyway, even the lame gags attempts to fill the movie with the same is your thing, or if you've got some kids rymore's work-rate has been impressive mostly fall flat, largely because this is kind of manic energy that brought Car to look after and don't care much about - with half-a-dozen (by-and-large suc clearly a movie which thinks it stars Jim rey flicks like The Mask and Ace Ventura their mental health then I guess you rep cessful) movies a year, she's clearly try Carrey, despite the fact that it actually has to life, and would probably have much resent the target audience. Enjoy. Q ing to make up for lost time. This Back to the Future's Christopher Lloyd in rather made the movie as a cartoon. Dave particular effort may have gone straight to video, but it's surprisingly likeable nonetheless. Pitting waitress Barrymore against the sons of the married man Win tickets to Notting Hill with the who she has become pregnant by, it's a bizarre mix of black and romantic com edy (the boys are intent on scaring their father back into the arms of their mother, and whilst one son wants her dead, the other falls in love) which never quite works out which of the two it wants to be. Nonetheless, Barrymore's engaging as ever, and the movie ends up as easygoing fun in spite of itself. KENSINGTON Children or the As you'll see from the review above, Not A record number of entries -180 in all - ting Hill Is the great new film from the poured in last week - clearly a sign that the Corn IV makers of Four Weddings & A Funeral. Star standard of questions is slipping, as it seems ring Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts, and that everyone is aware that Sarah Michelle written by Richard Curtis, its got box office Gellar appears in both Scream 2 and She's Yep, it's time for yet another Stephen smash written all over it. All That. Anyway, the winners were: King adaptation -1 mean, just how many Thanks to the Odeon Kensington, how books has the man written? More to the ever, you can see it for free. To be in with Bob Henhouse point, how much has he earned? Oh a chance of winning, all you have to do Is Ben Hedley well, ignore such petty squabbling and correctly answer the following question: Syarlza Kamsan get down to the review...well, this latest Dominic Guppy installment of Children of the Corn is Both Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant have Jennifer Penk adequate if not exciting; It's weird, it's starred opposite Alan Rlckman - but In Dave Grey gory and it's got psycho Pagan American what movies? Jason Ramanathan kids. In other words. It's exactly what Markjellnek you'd expect from any horror franchise Email your answer to ftlm.fellx @lc.ac.uk Cllve Owen where Individual movies can only be before Wednesday evening. The first five Phillipe Dauvllle discerned by their accompanying roman names out of the virtual hat will win a pair numeral. Very eighties. of tickets. Please collect tickets from the Felix office. Dave 18 Clubscene 1 June 1999 Omnipotence Albums ] Album of the Week @The Imperial Gardens VARIOUS 'Necessary Pieces' (Nordic Trax) Camberwell, SE5. Monthly Fridays, near-dancefloor problem' to niggle a to the tiny little things that you notice Canada's premier record label 10pm - 6 am, £12/£15. Capacity - bit. But that's only a minor point. Over that make your night one to remem Nordic Traxx release their first mix album 1,000. Dress code - funky clubwear. all the club itself is a great little venue, ber. I am, of course, referring to the -and what an album it is too. Mixed by despite not being very well known. freebies that they handed out Tyler 'T-Bone' Stadius the album is full of It was the first birthday of this As for the music. Well, they only throughout the night - sweets, mix tracks with deep beats, fresh melodies ever-popular South London night went and got John "00" Fleming to tapes, and even Omnipotence sticks and subtle jazz/ groove? influences. about two months ago, and they char come in and headline. He's perhaps of rock. They also laid on piss-take Opening the proceedings is Sea to Sky s acteristically celebrated it in style. The one of the best around at the games for people to play when they 'Up Jumped the Boogie' with its cool night had all the ingredients necessary moment, and his blend of uplifting were relaxing away from the music. beats and gentle melody sets the scene for everyone concerned to have a top hard house and soft techno kept The Rubix cubes, chess, checkers, and for the rest of the album. Sounding very night out. As I go through the review everyone going until the very end. colouring-in books with crayons were much like American and UK house the list will seem pretty familiar but, He was ably assisted by Rachel Auburn very much appreciated. fused together, you would be forgiven that Laurent Gamier had produced it after all, that's what makes a night (of Candy Girls fame), and with this And finally, and probably most Out In June. out great, and nowadays all too often combination there really were no importantly Omnipotence appears to club promoters in the capital lose sight losers on the night. Happy music - attract a very friendly crowd. Slightly of formula for successful nights. that's the only way of describing this dressed up, but not pretentious, the Firstly the venue was nice. The sort of stuff. Just try and dance to it crowd were revisiting the more Plaid layout of small rooms and confusingly without a smile on you face. The way approachable days of clubbing a few 'Rest Proof Clockwork' winding corridors make the Imperial all dance music should be, in my opin years back. Little attitude infiltrated (Warp) Gardens intimate, but never too small ion. this night, and seeing as how this was In capacity. This place can soak up a The promoters also did a fine job, the 1 st birthday party, I guess it was full On impulse, you think is just a col surprisingly large amount of clubbers which is quite an uncommon thing in of regulars. All in all a great place to lection of random noises, but when you within its fake-flower decor, although this era of packaged super-clubs and go and meet some wonderful people. listen carefully to it you discover it has it may have been better off having lack of attention to detail. Everything Enjoy. many influences be it rare groove, funk, one really large main dancefloor, as was there on the night, from the Powerful clubbing techno and even house. The music is there was a tendency for that old 'bar- important aspects mentioned above very electronic but flows srfioothlyfrom track to track giving it elegance. A highly complex album, but Plaid - arguably the finest act of the experimental genre - have created a masterpiece. Escape From Samsara ***** \ VARIOUS 'Glasgow Underground Volume 2' \@The Fridge (Glasgow Underground' Kicking off with the deep yet jazz influenced 'Winter Sadness', this double Brixton. Fridays, 10.30pm - 6am, another it would just be a carbon made it there yet, then put it right at CD album takes you'through a spell £3/£10/£12. Capacity - 1,000. Dress copy. You see, EfS never really the top of your must-go places. You binding journey of excellent house code - none. changes, and this is most definitely a know you won't regret it. music. The album is a representation of very good thing. Every week it delivers, Wonderful escapism a scene that is now massive in Scotland Well, what more can we say about and this is why it is ranked as one of - that of the Glasgow underground. this night? Not much really. If you are the best clubnights in London. If Some of the tunes featured on this 22 a regular reader of Clubscene then you've been you'll know what I mean, track album include Idjut Boys/ Quak- you'll have read my review on it a few and you know you'll keep on going erman's 'Frog's Arrrse' with Its thumping months back, and if I was to write again and again. And if you haven't bass, Romanthony's 'Clap Ya Handz' with its fresh guitar licks and gentle start lead to. a breakdown that is simply awesome. Excellent follow up album to the massive first volume. Club Reviews by Giles Out In July. ***** 1 June 1999 Clubscene 19 Gouryella Spacetlme Continuum Freska Allstars 'Gouryella' 'Double Fine Zone' 'Keeping Our Hands In' (Codeblue) (Virgin) (Freskanova) Refreshingly fresh album, bringing A random collection of good hip A trance tune which mixes together the melodic charms of Chicane and the the very best electronic music from Single OfThe Week hop, soul, seventies and Babylon Zoo fused groove cuts from the Freska All- simplicity of DJ Sakin. 1 he Original mix Astralwerks. With influences from Her- JR stars, fhe first single is 'Get Fresh' and kicks off with a thumping bassline bie Hancock, Carl Craig and early 70's 'Lay With Me' is a good house track utilising the above before slowing down to the melodic movie soundtracks the album pushes (Global 1) synths and then picking up again. The back the boundaries of modern elec influences. The second single 'Keep Ihe Gigolo remix is exactly the same. The tronic music. There's soul, techno, jazz Brilliant R&B track. The Album mix Faith' is an epic track with deep beats Gorella mix is a faster track with a harder and all sorts thrown in together, mixed is very vocal with a filtered beat allow and some random noises - very experi bass line and the Armix version is very and then structured carefully to produce ing the sensual vocals to come straight mental. The flip side has 'Watch [his Luro-housc with a long build up before tracks that leave you in anticipation of at you. The Club Man mix introduces Sound' which is hip-hop vs house and releasing the dazzling synths. what the next track is like. Wonderfully extra vocals and a slightly different beat the final track is an indie tune. Strange Out In June. balanced album, made even more but is just as smooth. The flip side has LP but worth checking out. ***** impressive by how all the influences fit a couple of excellent garage mixes. Out In June. together. Out In June. **** Out 31st May. ***** Andy Allder ***** 'Mad Kebab' FYZA PHD (Fluff Records) 'Mad Cool' 'Haze/ Contrast' (Global 1) (Good Looking) Definitely no cliches in this strong Progression Sessions by LTJ Bukem fluff release, where one half of the awesome D-Bop duo, Andy Allder; (Good Looking) Quality fresh vocals, a subtle beat Good double A-side from Good and filtered back vocals all add up to a Looking. The first track, 'Haze' Is a min brings us another record much in the isame veiriTfiis track is full of the best The fourth volume of this massive, serene R&B track. Oozing with funky imalist track with subtle percussive massive series brings the very best D&B grooves the Album mix is smooth and effects, the gentlest of melodies and a Things aboutihouse musici except for its tracks currently kickin' mixed by LTJ silky, the Club mix is slightly harder- just audible bass line. Very Mike Old- rather curious name. Bukem. Featuring ten studio mixed retaining the vocals but loosing the rich field. The flip side is called 'Contrast' and The A-side is a stunning track, with tracks and linked together with the lyri ness. The flip side has a couple of is a techno-tinged epic. The melody is a bit of everything. Nice chunky tech- cal mastery of MC Conrad, the fourth vol speed garage mixes that will work won high pitched, the bass rumbles and the noish synths kick it off, there's a great ume continues to cover the ders on the dancefloot. beats add the perfect touch. breakdown in the middle, and after the groundbreaking sounds being released Out In June. Out next week build up we are treated to a classic by Good Looking. Comes as mixed CD ***** **** piano-based track. All very 1995/6, which wilh vocals and also a limited edition is very good news indeed. second CD with a mixed instrumental Wisdom Out 14th June **** version of the first CD. Jackson & His Computer Band 'Innocent World' Out soon. Gourmet EP (Evenova) ***** (Sound of Barclay) Barabas & OD1 A melodic, uplifting trance track 'Feel the Beat (Check This Out)' Excellent EP with the first single 'My with huge breakdowns. The Club mix (Phoenix Uprising) kind of...' fusing Chicago house and is very epic and will impress the Renais Look past the cliches that appear to Cutmaster Swift Presents.... seventies funk. With its thumping bass sance followers whilst the Alternative be everywhere in this 12". and you'll find The Breaks II' lines and groow vocals this is a top mix adds more bite with thumping a couple of quite useful tracks. It really (Harmless) floor-filler. Following on from this is basslines and more synths. The Radio 'Moon Run' - the worst tune on the EP. edit isn't as good as the other two is about time that dance music artists moved away from using such cheesy, fhe first volume was one of the On the flip side is 'Moon Kick', a seri mixes. most Influential albums of 1998 and this ously good track with a jazz groove and Out next month. throwaway lyrics as 'feel the beat' and second volume will be one of the most a great beat. Finally, there is 'Won- *** 'throw your hands in the air'. influential of 1999. Sampling tracks from derlove' - a very soulful cut with plenty What saves this record from being all genres of dance music, the album of deep bass and dulcet vocals. another run-of-the-mill release is the contains many underground tracks and Out In June. Shane Morris music. Both tracks are nice up-beat features artists such as Kool & The Gang, ***** 'Bang The Box' house builders, full of reversed beats, King Curtis. Bob James. This follow-up (Phoenix Uprising) crowd noises, and interesting break is presents by DMC World Mixing Cham downs. However, the music isn't that pion 'Cutmaster Swift' and features Classen Collective This track. In collaboration with Jon great, and when put together with the another trailorload of classic sample 'Close To Greatness' the Dentist is a thumping hard house mindless lyrics, you can't really get away sources alongside the rare gems. A (JCR) track. The Original mix Is an under from the feeling that you are dealing non-stop funky journey for both the ground trance tune but with plenty of with a couple of set-fillers that wouldn't dancefloor and home listening/ Slow groovy sounds with a mixture fast beats and phat bass. The flip side be the highlight of any crowd's night Out In June. of funk and jazz. It's a sweet sound - has a JTD mix that is more epic and out. ***** very French house style, lhe Original trancey but still keeps the chunky bass Out June 14th mix puts a beat to the track but retains and the trademark J ID makeover. *** the fresh guitar licks, the husky vocals Out next month. and the funked up jazz groove. The flip *** Albums by Gurmlnder side mixes retain the jazz and groove, but the beat is gentler. Singles by Giles and Gurmlnder Out In June. **** 20 Games 1 June 1999 Official Formula 1 Racing (PC) Eidos * ing, but more of that later. The would have knocked out as I game has been produced with a Christmas card to a friend HHHH the blessing of the Formula 1 he didn't particularly like. jjBJBJBJBJ Association, so can be The sound is also a bit of a MWBBI ii expected to be fairly close to disappointment, particularly fH| the real thing. It contains all the narration. I've already the stuff you'd expect - accu mentioned ihe lack of Mur- yi?"5B™jP rate (presumably - I haven't ray Walker (who's I measured them) models of all replaced by someone who the F1 tracks, all the current sounds Australian), but more importantly being claimed, then Schumacher (x2), teams and drivers, the ability to there has been little attempt to embed Hill, Irvine et al may deserve more tweak your car's set-up, multi the narration into the game, being lim respect than I've been willing to.give ple camera views of all your ited to a few stock phrases which are slot them so far. I couldn't keep on the road I've never quite seen why people get so favourite crashes, black flags and so on. ted in almost at random. Equally the when all I had to do was point the car in excited about Fl racing - after all, if you The graphics are very nice, with the environmental sounds (engines, crowds, the right direction -1 hate to think how compare it to driving up the Ml on a wet cars being modelled particularly nicely, etc) are all there, but seem curiously they manage it while worrying about November Friday at about 7.30pm in a and the circuits too are neatly repre remote. These might seem like funny changing gears and doing pitstops. rusty Renault 4 which catches the wind sented. That having been said there are things to pick up on, but this is meant to All-in-all? Well, it's not bad, but the side-on as you come over the hill just one or two corners which have clearly be a simulation, not an arcade game, lack of attention to the peripheral details south of Sheffield, Fl definitely comes a been cut, particularly with the specta and the difference between a good sim has damaged the game overall. I also poor second in terms of danger, excite tors, who are represented by a flat panel and a bad sim often comes down to the can't help feeling that they need to look ment and general adrenaline rush. I of blobs, the sort of thing Jackson Pollock details. at their car models - they are very sensi think the attraction's more to do with The driving is night- tive, which might be fine for f1 drivers glamour - the shiny cars, the film-star- marlshly hard; even on the and fans, but is off-putting for someone esque drivers, the pitstop blondes and easiest of settings with all who's less interested. If you're looking the vast wadges of cash that are put the cheats I could find for an FT sim which is bang up-to-date into squeezing a couple fewer inches per switched on (useful things and accurate, then this is the one to gallon out of each engine. And Murray ike no damage, automatic buy. If you're looking for something a bit Walker of course, who is admittedly good braking and gear chang more fun and a bit less anal, go for value-for-money. ing) I still found myself something like Microprose's venerable This is a very different racing game unable to go round the but still playable RGP - at least you'll from Tank Racer. As suggested by the simplest of circuits without stand a chance of winning a race or two. title, it is a simulation of Formula 1 Rac spinning out several times. And for those of you looking for this ing, except without the pitstop blondes If this is as accurate a rep weeks reference to our Beloved Games and, in my case anyway, the film-star- resentation of the cars han Editor -1 couldn't work it in. Sorry. esque drivers. Murray Walker's also lack dling characteristics as is Danny Marvel Super Heroes vs Streetfighter (PSX) Virgin Interactive and wolverine get to kick cammy's elec Being recognisable characters tronic butt all the way across the screen. with moves that match takes the sting out of the fact that i Good Graphics: otherwise it is standard 2D Arcade quality graphics once again. Almost certainly the same engine as last usual bits and pieces, individ week's Darkstalkers 3 beat-em-up but ual fights, team fights and T with characters you will instantly recog team tag fights. Then there | nise - well anyone brought up on kids car are the special moves, both toons or marvel comics in the last twenty documented and undocumented, but nothing that your granny would com years will. Supposedly sixty frames a sec once again we run-up against the 2D plain about - though people dressing up ond - they were a little too quick to count beat-em-up wall again. Pretty much in tight lycra and hitting each other hard PlayStation. myself so I'll believe them for once. everything that has been done is being is a little suspect if you ask me, and def done again - it is like expecting the next initely something for the home rather Summary: Seraphim racing game to than the streets, and only with a con Spidey and mates pick a fight with the Sounds: look like a high senting partner. Street Fighter guys and gals. Standard detailed pole posi Neo-geo tion rather than Who will buy it: Whats It all about: unit bleats the polygon OK, of all the 2D beat-em-ups out at the Another beat-em-up arcade conversion and beeps. packed Gran moment this has to be one of the bet of a very special Capcom arcade game. Very retro Tourismo 2. ter. If you really want one and you can't Basically a product of an overactive imag but not all wait for Street fighter Alpha 3 - reviewed ination when some marvel comic fan that good Sex and Violence: next week - this would be the one. Good complained that the street fighter blokes really. Violence is pre for Spiderman fans who want to see and lasses wouldn't last 30 seconds in a sent, though of cammy get beat badly (Kylie minogue fight against some real heroes. Someone Great the cartoon and take that - You should be so lucky, blat, from Capcom overheard and spiderman Gameplay: ..... ,^. no blood variety - locomate on this smash). GaryS. 1 June 1999 Games 21 Silver (PC) Infogrames Ml take offence and start to point, click and hold down a button to ing - this is a game which you can enjoy form small camps in the direct the sword and missile targeting rather than lose your hair over. forest doesn't really require many The graphics are impressive for this intending hours of practice to master. type of game, the main characters wan to bring Selecting items is also sim der about the detailed pseudo 3D back down Sil plicity itself, though as you grounds, and are well animated even if ver and are rummaging through the they move a little bit too mechanically- Role playing games are suddenly gaining bring back the women - backpack the enemies do a perhaps the arnie swinging shoulder a bit of popularity. Even as far back as the and hopefully before tea good job of turning you into look is back in for the beefed out hero types. The sounds are also better than old 8-bit prehistory days there were a few time. a David kebab. expected, swords and shields clank and hardened souls playing the temple trilogy You start as David. His It would not be a fan bang, magic fizzles magically and on the creaky commodore 64, but things wife's been abducted, tasy game without the lib machinery make industrial clanging have moved on. The worlds are no- and his grandfather is eral sprinkling of magic noises. longer flat 2D plans and the characters chopped up by Silver's items and spells. David soon and games are much less repetitive than son pretty early in the gets a magical sword which Overall the game will keep you they were. Could Silver be another in the story - reason enough to fires small painful doses of entertained for a very long time - longer line of FFVII and Zelda64 to encourage join the resistance and magic at his enemies, and than it takes for NATO to win a war the average Quake head to take up the hunt down Silver and while Davy boy isn't a true against a european state with one army sword and bow rather than the rocket have a chat about police magic user, other members tied behind their back. And yes even the launcher? state brutality. Through of your team are much odd Quake head might be able to put The story, above all, the story! They out the many worlds, and more adept at throwing aside his rocket launcher and move over despite taking control of to the fantasy side. Just make sure that all come with a story and Silver is no more powerful magic others as your party if w they don't realise that they are playing a exception to the rule. In a galaxy a long across the room. The puz grows, he is your main fantasy game for the first five minutes way away, or something like that, a zles, though, are fairly basic,- fighter character. He's and by then it will be too late - the addic despotic and magical ruler (Silver) and his the brainpower here is in pretty nifty with the sword tion will have been firmly planted. cronies rule the land in a way that would organising the troops and and quite neat with the lead Amnesty International to have a fighting the enemy in the Gary S. shield, which is handy for small cattery of kittens. His wife's trapped correct supporting any argument in a rather loveless marriage and, realis order rather with creatures from other ing that Silver is not really the 'let's be than work demonic worlds. The con friends' kind, kills herself. Silver then goes ing out trol method is pretty sim about the task of finding a new wife by which lever ple to grasp - the point and click taking all of the women in his kingdom opens which door, for movement and a slightly more complex off to his castle. A few of the mensfolk once I'm not complain- Dream + Broadcast = Dreamcast Sega's new 128bit baby prepares for a September birth. Fresh from the UK post E3 press event for Aside from the e-mail and web have created the Visual Memory system. House Of The Dead 2 : SEGA Sega's new big boy in the console mar browser bits the internal modem does These are bits of plastic with a led display Hydro Thunder: MIDWAY ket, the UK and ace reporter G has gone have a gaming use. One of the first will that plug into a hole in the handset. The Marvel VS Capcom : CAPCOM from knowing nothing to knowing pretty be for Take the bullet. VMS unit not only stores game info and Monaco GP : UBISOFT much everything about the new Take the bullet is set against a pres- scores. It can be used to change options Mortal Kombat Gold ; MIDWAY machine. idential campaign in the late 60's. Play without them popping up on the screen, M-SR (Metropolis) SEGA Sega are promising a September ing a bodyguard to a threatened so if you really wanted you could tell your NBA 2000 : SEGA launch, and for your £199 you get not candidate you can defend the main man virtual Beckham to be impetuous and Powerstone : CAPCOM only the fastest console on the market, in either first or third person view. kick out without anyone realising or actu NFL Quarterback Club 2000 : ACCLAIM but instant access to the internet, e-mail Though it sounds a little bit like Golden- ally noticing. It can be used as a clock and Rayman 2 : The Great Escape : UBISOFT and a www browser - try all that with a eye it gives the option of using either the a calendar (though a watch seems to do Ready To Rumble : MIDWAY PC for the price. Sega have managed to controller or, for the realist, the Dream- a similar job in my book), it can also be Red Dog : SEGA team up with BT and ICL to create the first cast lightgun. Once again rooms about used as a hand held games machine and Redline Racer: UBISOFT Europe wide local call cost ISP portal for the country will ring out with the cry can even connect to another VMS unit to SEGA Rally 2 : SEGA the Dreamy one. BT will handle the dial "He's armed, take him down". play 2 player games. Sega Soccer: SEGA up and ICL the online service design. But where's the modem come in? I or all those who want to know what Sonic Adventure : SEGA The problem with these new shiny we all cry. Well there's a fancy death- games art; on their way, while looking a Soul Caliber: NAMCO consoles is the scarcity of available soft match mode where four players on a sin little heavy on the arcade side there's a Speed Devils : UBISOFT ware. Whereas the Sony 2 machine gle machine can attempt to drill lead bit of delight for everyone. Supreme Snowboarding: INFOGRAMLS promises to be able to play old games, holes in each other. There is the similar Airforce Delta: KONAMI Take The Bullet: SEGA Sega have not gone down this route option to play the same deathmatch Blue Stinger: SEGA Toy Commander: SEGA and will instead have ten fresh spanking over the phone line against fifteen oth Cool Boarders DCS : EGA Trick Style : ACCLAIM A-titles available in September, with ers - see, the modem is used. Jimmy While's 2 -Cue Ball rVIRGIN UEfA Striker: INfOGRAMES another twenty to be released for the Rather than use simple boring bits of Expendable : INFOGRAMES Virtua Fighter 3TB : SEGA Christmas rush. plastic in order to store game info Sega Fl World Grand Prix : VIDEO SYSTEMS Wild Metal Country : INFOGRAMES 22 Arts 1 June 1999 SELF TAUGHT - DAVID BIAMEY Sherfield Gallery ow many elastic bands does The elastic bands are microsculptures, beauty of these everyday objects. This is effects. The elastic bands are one instal Imperial College use every day? devoid of scale and projected onto the surely an exercise in Zen. lation. The other is an empty slide pro H Just speculating... I should think wall at enormous size. You can see every Every so often, the elastic bands jector struggling to focus its light beam that the offices, labs and hospitals use fine structural detail. Initially you might are interspersed with travel brochure onto a wall. A square of white light hundreds. If not thousands. think: 'Oh, how boring, let me get back to photos - an alpine forest, a mountain changing size - in and out, blurring and David Blarney, the artist behind the focusing. And all the time the projector recent exhibition at the Sherfield Gallery, frantically whirring and clicking. Once is deeply interested in elastic bands, just you have seen the elastic bands, this all like all you people who actually consid seems to follow quite naturally. Is this ered the question opening this article. Zen again? David Blarney is probably not much inter Maybe this exhibition annoyed ested in numbers, however. He is more some of you ("this isn't art, dammit!"), interested in how elastic bands fit into but if you responded in this way, I think the 'paraphernalia of an educational insti that you are missing the point entirely. tution'. Challenging our perception of art has But how does he stretch our per been tried many times before, not least ceptions of the elastic band? You sit by the great Marcel Duchamps, who at down and watch a continuous loop of the beginning of the century either slides, each depicting an elastic band. made a good living passing off toilet Some elastic bands are new, clean, bowels as sculpture, or challenged the starkly photographed. These would not accepted norms of his age. Which view be out of place on the Ikea desk of an point you chose depends entirely on up and coming graphic designer. Other your conception of art, of course! slides show elastic bands as grimy, I don't believe David Blarney is try screwed up tangles of rubber. If you ing to create phoney controversy. He is looked hard enough, you might spot clearly too sophisticated an operator to these sprawled over the floor in the dusty simply be repeating the old cliches of art office of an ageing Cambridge don. All my fluid mechanics revision.' But stay a lit valley, an orchid, a tropical fish, a beach versus non-art. Whatever it means (and contorted, twisted, like spaghetti. The tle longer and relaxation will set in. Now you at sunset. As these slides fade into their it may mean nothing!), I liked it anyway. creations of an anguished pasta chef will concentrate on the detail and, if you're elastic band counterparts, they produce tripping on acid, perhaps? lucky or drunk, begin to appreciate the some interesting, even soothing, William Burns A NIGHT AT THE MOVIES - ICSO CONCERT Great Hall he theme of the Imperial College "absolutely wonderful" piece of music Symphony Orchestra's latest con that he was conducting for the first time. T cert held on Friday 21 May was dis Music from Indiana Jones, the last per tinctive. Entitled A Night at the Movies, formance according to the programme, it featured popular music from past films. followed. Once the piece had ended, a According to a member of the orchestra, few unsuspecting members of the audi the feeling was that with the end of ence left somewhat prematurely as we term a few weeks away, they may as well were then treated to a sensational and have some fun with the music they topical encore of Star Wars. played. The concert itself was conducted, Audience reaction was generally as always, by IC's Musician-in-Residence favourable although some complained Richard Dickins with assistance from that the trumpets were too loud during Andrew Zolinsky and Alex Cominos on several sections and there were too the piano and violin respectively. An many dodgy notes for their liking. As to inspired and passionate rendition of their favourite piece, most people I spoke Tchaikovsky's great work, the Swan Lake to believed the Gershwin was the best, Suite, opened the evening. Everyone although I personally favoured has probably heard the piece at one Schindler's List. The soloists, in particular, point or another but may not know who delivered sensational performances. wrote it. The performance had to be While as professional as the orchestra's paused though due to a couple of late previous efforts, this concert was proba arrivals with very loud boots. A technically bly not as accomplished as the last one accomplished performance of Rhapsody (featuring Mahler among others). In Blue by George Gershwin (a popular composer at IC) was played next. Mansoor Choudhury & Tank Miller After the interval, the chairman of through the past years. He was pre the first of the John Williams composi the orchestra, Euan Barr was thanked sented with a bottle of champagne and tions to be played. Next came Schindler's for his hard work and commitment proceeded to lead off with Jurassic Park, List which Mr Dickins introduced as an I 1 June 1999 Sport 23 SCOREBOARD Union women win battle of the bars IC The atmosphere was buzzing with South- mercy and ICUnited were 2-0 up. Southside players. He also seemed to I Khan c Ashburn b Case 14 side and ICU supporters separated only For the third time, Southside kicked have taken pity on them when they Murali c Tumney b Case 34 by the holy turf on which we now stood off but made progress into the United started receiving free kicks and throws J Rasheed rtd hurt 69 - ready for Southside to kick off. Yes this half. The kick came to nothing, goalie for no apparent reason. The game went J Ainsworth run out 17 was the tie of the season between the Florence whacked the ball upfield and it on regardless and it all changed as fj Williams c Thomas bYu 48 two biggest rival clubs in the College, if came to a goal kick for Southsidc. Marie United conceded a free kick near their N Holt not out 24 not Britain. They met at Hyde Park, the completed her hattrick just before half goal area. A mish mash of ICUnited Y Lewis Ibw bYu 0 home of South Kensington Football. time when a long kick from Florence players formed half hearted wall which MJiwanjistNaurlabYu 0 Judging from the line-ups, we placed the ball on the left wing. Cutting parted to let the free kick through. Flo N Patel b Osborne 4 appeared stronger and the fans were the inside and turning goalwards, the captain rence went mad as Marie tried to explain N Terry not out 5 more confident and boisterous, whereas ran across goal, turned and placed the that if the Berlin wall could fall, we had Extras 4lb 9w 1nb 14 the Southside lot were notably quiet. ball neatly between two defenders and a valid excuse for this one crumbling to Southside had most of the play in the passed the reach of the goalie. "Sit pieces. TOTAL (for 7wkts from 40 overs) 229 first minutes. Some frantic passing from down, if you're three nil up!" screamed Southside started off with "You're fOW: 36, 66, 1 10, 194, 195, 195, 222 took them into the ICUnited defensive the ICU supporters. Captain Marie not singing any more" and chants of A Uttley did not bat territory. ICUnited got the ball into the dropped back to defend with Amy tak "We're going to win 5-4" when Marie Osborne 8-0-53-1; Case 8-0-44-2; Mur last third of the park when Mel cleared ing her place as striker and within 3 min took the kick-off, charged into the South- phy 8-3-19-0; Yu 8-0-52-3; Arshen 3-0-21- from defence after tackling a Southside utes Flo had passed clear to Amy who side defence and put another one in the 0; Nixon 3-0-22-0; Tumney 2-0-14-0. player. The ball ended up at the feet of took a few touches before firing in a fan back of the net to take her tally to 4 and Marie who defeated two Southside tastic shot. ICUnited 4, Southside 0. So the score back to a respectable 5-1. At defenders to fire home - scoring her first far so good, and the whistle blew for that point United fans went mad and LSE Imperial goal ever. Southside kicked off half-time. Southside went quiet once more. The again, Amy and Anna kept up the Super-sub Jess replaced Amy at half last remaining minutes saw Marie take Case cTerry b Murali 12 defence well, and it wasn't long before time and ICUnited kicked off to find that a free kick from 30 yards out which the fNarula Ibw b Murali 8 Marie got the ball again, whacked the the referee had dropped the second keeper saved. The final whistle blew and Yu b Rasheed 21 Southside defence, spared them no half to 15 minutes at the request of the it ended 5-1 to ICUnited Tumney c Terry b Rasheed 13 Ashburn c Khan b Patel 20 Arshed b Uttley Osborne cjiwanji b Rasheed Thomas b Uttley Murphy c Rasheed b Patel 0 Slight not out Nixon c Holt b Terry 4 Extras 3b 1 lb 11w 15 TOTAL (36.1 overs) 101 fOW: 22, 35, 61, 66, 74, 77, 86, 94, 95, 101 Holt 5-2-10-0; Murali 8-1-20-2; Khan 5-0 26-0; Rashecd 6-0-19-3; Uttley 5-2-7-2, Patel 3-2-5-2; Jiwanji 2-0-4-0; Terry 1.1-0 4-1; Ainsworth 1-0-2-0. The two ICUnited football teams. I'd hope you can identify which is the men's team and which is the women's yourself.... iCU CINEMA PRESENTS: THE OPPOSITE OF Tickets ONLY £2 Tuesday 1st June - 18:00 - The Opposite of Sex SEX - 20:30 - Payback Thursday 3rd June - 18:00 - Payback - 20:30 - The Opposite of Sex Concert Hall For more information see our web pages: Union Building 2nd Floor Drinks available from Da Vtnci^ ^ *> http://wWW.SU.lC.aCUk/Cinema 24 Sport & Crossword 1 June 1999 CRICKET-1st XI FOOTBALL Imperial cruise into Semis Southside thump Union in football by Gus Paul On a sunny afternoon of Sunday 23rd side gained a free-kick about thirty yards May, Southside and Union armies met at out. Super Nick ran up and curled a fine The IC 1st XI cruised into the semi finals and tSE were all out for 101. IC looked Hyde Park ready for this mouth-watering shot into the top left corner, sending play of the ULU Cup with a crushing 128 run quite comfortable against some bowling battle. ers and fans alike wild. Despite Southside victory over LSE last Wednesday. On a that, with a couple of exceptions, was A slightly less serious girls match kicked defending like lions, one instance of slack sunny afternoon at Harlington, IC, put fairly ordinary, and some athletic fielding, off first, which was pretty much dominated marking allowed the Union to equalise. into bat by LSE, racked up an impressive particularly by Jon Ainsworth on the by the Union and their star player Marie. However, they bounced back superbly 229 for 7. boundary, underlined ICs superiority. The Union won 5-1, but Helen grabbed a when Warren rose to head in - this was the Top scores from Jawwad Rasheed The firsts can now look forward to an consolation for Southside, blasting home man who had won the feague this season (69), who again dominated the bowling away semi-final against either last year's a free-kick from all of about twenty yards with the IC 1 st team finishing as top scorer before being forced to retire with a knee finalists Royal Holloway, or a rematch which would surely have broken the net and who scored a hat-trick in the famous injury, and keeper John Williams (48) from the group stages against Bart's. had there been one. This was a great spec cup final victory. gave IC a good total to bowl at. LSE did The seconds, meanwhile completed tacle, rounded off by the players exchang So at halftime Southside were leading n't help themselves by dropping 5 their season a couple of weeks ago with ing shirts after the final whistle. 2-1. The second was similar to the first - catches, and IC scored 80 runs in the last a victory over Kings 1st XI. The depth of Next came the main event, the men fast, furious and dirty. The union squan TO overs, Nick Holt with a particularly the squad is show by the fact that they took to the field. Early indications were that dered opportunities to score and so did aggressive 24 off 13 balls, despite one of have last year's first team captain this was going to be a rough and tough Warren who played poorly. However, the the LSE bowlers taking 3 wickets in 4 amongst their ranks. The win, believed affair, as Southside's Craig had to retire match was wrapped up well and truly balls. to be the first time the IC 2nds has from the game after just one minute with when Southside's sweeper Soso added a LSE had trouble with the Imperial beaten a firsts team, was enough to a knock on the nose - I thought you were third with only a few minutes remaining. opening attack and both openers knock a powerful King's team out of the from the North East son? Also, seconds When 'Ref blew his whistle for full-time it scratched around before Murali (2-20) competition. after this a soft Union geezer went down was shear carnage, and the celebration got them out. The middle order were after receiving a knee to the testicles, much were to continue well into the evening kept tied down to 3 runs an over, but IC 229/7 (Rasheed 69) v to the Southside supporters delight. 'Ref back at THE bar - that's Southside Bar. Adam Uttley (2-7) and Jawwad (3-19), LSE 101 (Rasheed 3-19) had to blow his whistle for fouls many The Union won a boat race drinking con capping a great all round performance, IC won by 128 runs more times. test but I'm sure they must have cheated somehow! rushed the rest of the team out cheaply Scorecard inside on page 23 The deadlock was broken when South- Last week's crossword was won by Will Dugdale. Entries for this week's crossword should be received by Wednesday 5pm. CRYPTIC CROSSWORD by Sheep Across Down I Oily bum-gas has two partners. (10) 1 Lets you think in bar. (5) 6 Waterfall lost after barrier. (4) 2 Gee! Rubbish goes crimson and 10 A lazy heart, I much prefer tea to see sparkled. (9) horizontal angle. (7) 3 Climbing in morgue, innate. (14) II A nude mag is something to be 4 Removes from curved device and done. (7) slices, perhaps? (7) 12 Representations by characters onto 5 Ideal is to have worked together. (7) satin. (9) 7 A formal examination of gold, it is 13 Exceed. Exit. Leave. (3-2) after five hundred. (5) 14 Am rid of tuesday in Paris. (5) 8 He ridicules in a penal room. (9) 15 "Temptation" is a disco tune. (9) 9 Becoming friendly again in certain 17 By God Des! Sessions with gorgeous logic. (14) birds. (9) 14 Being warm and damp is displaying 20 A beam of light mostly glares. (5) cup-like qualities. (9) 21 Work it out from start of finish con- 16 Provoke in it's back before a fence fused with queen. (5) door. (9) 23 A white rat I've disguised again and 19 Spouse's pest son. (7) again. (9) 22 Fashion and E's loses strength. (5) 25 Pretendings aren't ready in French 24 Tests central flexion before beams conclusions. (7) finish. (5) 26 Praise a flower of Rosacaea. (7) 27 South African quiet band. Over one shoulder. (4) 28 Stern grass violates a command.(10) Answers to 1146 Across: 1 Cryptic, 3 Albania, 7 Formal Down: 1 Cherubs, 2 Cardigans, ity, 9 Untarnished, 12 Samoa, 13 Analo 4 Blindfolded, 5 Arouses, 6 Outsmarts, gous, 15 Pyrolysis, 16 Duets, 18 8 Ash, 10 Reallotting, 11 Projector, Troglodytes, 20 Axiomatic, 21 Thought, 22 14 Absolutes, 15 Pungent, 17 Suspend, Stabbed. 29 Ohm.