Volume 39 Issue 23 ^Meliorist www.themeliorist.com Thursday, 9 March, 2006 STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF LETHBRIDGE

h> www.themeliorist.com • March 9, 2006 JMchLonst mehio'rism (meel'e riz'm, me'le e-), n. the doctrine that the world tends to become better or may be made better by human effort

An autonomous body, separate from the U of L Students' Union SU-166. 4401 University Drive West, Lethbridge, AB T1K3M4 Phone:329-2334

The Meliorist is the student newspaper of the University of Lethbridge, published most Thursdays throughout the academic year by The Meliorist Publishing Society, an autonomous incorporated body Please address all correspondence to The Meliorist, 4401 University Drive, Lethbridge, Alberta. T1K 3M4. or drop it off at room SU-166 Deadline for submissions is Sunday at noon The Meliorist appreciates and encourages the writing of thoughtful, concise, timely letters However. The Meliorist will only consider for publication those letters which are signed by the author (special arrangements may be made for those wishing anonymity, but absolutely no pseudonyms), contain the authors legible name, address, telephone number and student identification number (address, ID. and phone number not for publication) Letters may be edited for brevity, clarity and legality The Meliorist reserves the right to edit submissions and will not print libelous material

Editor-in-Chief Craig Hamilton cincPthemeliorist.com

Business Manager Joseph Brunton [email protected]

"Le Medina (Old City)" Advertising Manager Lance Semak Photo by Heather Macbeath [email protected] Managing Editor Amber Herbison [email protected] Know the feeling of getting "that shot" and want to get it published? Stop by the office, or email your picture and story (max 40 words) to [email protected] News Editor Shannon Frank [email protected]

Entertainment Editor Jared McKenziw This Week... [email protected] Cover: It's going to be a battle for the ages. Two men enter, Sports Editor one man leaves. A fight to the death. Oh wait I'm thinking Ainsley Doty of Mad Max. This is still pretty serious though. Who's the next [email protected] SU president? It's up to you! You can find out all about the Features Editor Garret Ford upcoming SU elections throughout this week's Meliorist. [email protected]

Photo Editor Heather MacBeath News: Unfortunately, bullying is alive and well in Lethbridge, [email protected] and they're not just on the playground anymore. See page Copy Editor 3 for more details. Also, read up on last weekend's Gender Talis jacobsen Symposium, all the bios on candidates for next week's SU [email protected] election, and results from last week's Be Smart, Be Safe Creative Designer Quinn Kuiken campaign - plus more! [email protected]

Webmaster Features: A closer look at having a social conscience and Matt Sletto making a difference in our world (page 9) and some insight [email protected] into why TLF's are good for your soul. And of course, all the Office Assistant Jaime Tremblay comics, puzzles, poetry and stories that you could possibly want [email protected] (within reason of course.) Distribution Manager George Andrews [email protected] Entertainment: The results are in from this year's Academy Production Assistants Awards, and our brave Entertainment Editor Jared subjected Chris Hibbard himself to the entire four hour show. See page 15. Also be sure [email protected]

to check out photos and a review of last weekends Nikola Tesla Sarah Fulcher gig, why cussin' and swearin' are good for you, and the usual productionlffthemeliorist.com

6.5 things to do this week - including Tricky Woo live on Sunday! Printing Southern Alberta Newspaper Group Sports: The Top 10 most overrated athletes of the year, another edition of This, That, and the Horns, and why not to wear Contributors: AJ Struyk Alex Wylie rings on your fingers if you're feeling athletic. This section also Bill & Ted David Woodroffe Chris Jappert Kris Kantrud features stories on updates on trades in the NFL, doubts about Kaleb Orge Jason Marriott the future of Phoenix Sun Steve Nash, and a humorous visionary exploration of an ideal Super Olympics.

"I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty." - George Burns From the Editor's Desk Bullies - Not Just on the Playground Anymore

Excited, I opened the email, and immediately realized I shouldn't have. This is what the email said.

By Jason Marriott A Lethbridge Link website user has a Meliorist Contributor question/Comment about your classified ad:

Classified Ad Title: HomoErectus. Our ancient ancestors. Killed Looking for a Band?? each other for dominance, for food and for Name: billy bob partners. Simple. Then we began to evolve, Phone Number: 123-4567 we learned thing, grew and were nurtured Email Address: by the earth. We gained respect for other [email protected] creatures, for each other and began to form Questions, Comments, or Testimonial: y are rules and laws. Killings and murders became you such a fag get a life or slit your wrists looked down upon; what was once an almost normal part of everyday life became penalized. My stomach twisted, and I felt like I had Or this is how it is portrayed in movies. Yet, as been punched in the face. The fact that we evolved even more, into the Homo Sapiens someone here in Lethbridge could sit and that we are now, these killings continued. write something so cruel for no reason, other With the creation of more laws, rules - both than that they could, sickened me. Have we religious and political - people found new learned nothing as a society? I think we have, reasons to hate and destroy one another. but it is not how to be civil or pleasant, it is The main three reasons that are shown in how to be cruel. movies were still used as reasons, but others Was this person bored? Angry? Did he would soon emerge. Religion, politics, music, recognize my picture and decide to do it for clothing, hair, sexual orientation, in fact fun? I was infuriated and hurt. I have lived everything that makes a person a person, was and tolerate children owning guns, and we're here for almost two years, I have made friends, now seen as free game to ridicule, beat, maim, the victim...I'm sure it wouldn't nearly be as the ones who tune in and watch the up-to-the- but I have made no enemies. I am not a rude and kill. entertaining. minute details of what they do with them." I Now you may ask where I'm going with this. person by nature; I don't feel as if I've done a People kill other people each day in the think there is no truer statement. We feed the What I'm trying to say, well I will tell you. I great number of things in my life to warrant a name of one of these things. And sooner or people with things like violence in games and received an email on March 4th from someone comment like that being sent to me. later more began to grow. Territory, finances, movies. Sure, some people may be influenced in Lethbridge. I had posted on Lethbridge I write this not to make you feel sorry for arguments, and we even started to kill each things like this, but we are the ones who crave Link back in June of 2005 looking for a band. myself or for others out there who have had other for no reasons in particular. it, we are the ones who ask for it, we are the As I have been in a number of bands in the past similar, worse or tragic events happen in their So new rules and laws were implemented. ones who beg for it. writing lyrics and doing vocals from melody lives. No. I write this to you to beseech you as Guns prohibited, knives prohibited, it even I'm using us because I am just as guilty as the to screaming, I was in the mood to look for a humans, as individuals, as caring people, that got as bad as having POG prohibited at my rest of you. When was the last time you saw a new band in a new town. I spent a few weeks the next time you are bored or looking for fun elementary school because fights would break TV show or movie that didn't have someone checking around the net, in town, and through don't use your impulse to insult, humiliate, out on the school-yard. With each new craze die, get injured by someone else, or with no email with people, but they all seemed to or beat someone. Think about being on something new was outlawed: Pokemon insults? Probably a long time. Why? Because fall through for one reason or another. So I the other end of the pole. We are a race of Cards, Gameboys, Metal Lunchboxes, and it would be boring to us as a society if such a decided if anyone was serious, they could look proud beings, self reliant, compassionate, and the new Heely shoes. Some of these things thing existed. And the media knows it. They me up, so I posted on Lethbridge Link. I got understanding. We are intelligent, and so the outlawed for safety and some for violence. will continue to mainstream violence into our a couple of replies back and got started with next time you see someone do something that And it doesn't stop there. TV shows, and minds until the day we get bored with it. We a band a few weeks later. But circumstance you don't think is cool, just walk away. video games have been banned from some all know that will not happen. Why? Because called the guitarist away, and so another one As Marilyn Manson says, "[you can't] expect households for quite some time. I remember each time something doesn't shock us or get fell through. the end of the world to come one day out of hearing about kids beating up others saying a good review, they put out something that is Anyways, I check my email on March 4th the blue — it's been happening every day for they were Power Rangers, or some new crazed worse. and see that someone has replied to the ad. a Ions time." character in a video game gunning down We find entertainment in people's brains people and stealing their money. Now I'm not splattered all over the news and film, yet blaming the video games or TV, and I'm not did you ever ask yourself why? Have you blaming consumer products; in fact I think ever placed yourself in the situation of that these things are the least to blame: I believe it character? Maybe, but what you see is a is society to whom we should blame. fake reality. Things don't happen like this As Marilyn Manson said after the Columbine More WTF?! in real life. Wrong. These things do happen shootings, "When it comes down to who's to in real life. Axe murderers, violence death, I know this is over a week late and there has already been a blame for the high school murders in Littleton, beheadings, and the like have been happening lot of discussion on the issue but I wanted to say some things. Colorado, throw a rock and you'll hit someone throughout society for years; what ifyou were In regards to the name of the new titness center...WTF? I think that is what most people who's guilty. We're the people who sit back think when they hear that "Witness the Fitness" is the actual name of the fitness center and not some cruel joke. This sentiment of WTF has already become cliche' when talking about the fitness center, and I only think it is going to get worse. I have had a chance to hear from 26 Ave N. pairy j a number of students and staff who seriously disapprove of the name. I'm not a slow guy. ^"(^ •""""^ m—mm\ 1 •"""'^ I've played enough online games to know when I'm wasting some newb and he angrily types %imf I M \\aJF I "WrF??!!" he means "What the f*ck??!!" So what kind of age do we live in when a multi SELF STORAGE a X million dollar fitness center gets tagged with a name that has the same acronym as the phrase nil A /^r- "WTiat the f*ck?" Don't even try to tell me that the marginally witty person submitting the )W 1 MM I |—* name didn't know that before hand. He probably played his fair share of video games as well. 18 Ave N. As far as SU president Tyler Tanner being worried about people "just" calling it "the We Offer: fitness center" and "forgetting the real name," does he seriously expect us to use this "48 different sizes available 2315-36SLN abomination of a name in an actual sentence? "Ok, I'll pick you up at five. I'm just ^Double security storage, heading over to witness the fitness." That sounds just as dumb as if we had named our concert hall "hear the music." Yeah, try using that in a sentence. At least security lighted and fenced "I'm going to hear the music" sounds like something someone would actually "Cheap upstairs storage say. I should hope that we all forget the new name as soon as possible. "Monitored security alarm I'm sure that the person behind this submission grinned wickedly when they thought about "Mailbox rented the possible t-shirts that would be made for the facility staff: "University of Lethbridge: WTF" "Moving help available umm yeah, I know we all have thought that at times but does it need to be on signs and t- "24 hour keypad, gate code Don't Throw it Away! Bring in Any Unused shirts?? I'll be honest. I like my school. I would even venture to say that I have some school pride. But that pride will be hard to keep up if something this ridiculous actually passes. I entry on some storages Non-Perishable Food ItemsTo Help "Authorized UHAUL dealer side with our Editor in Chief Mr. Hamilton that this name will be "ridiculed tenfold" in the Support TheLethbrldge Food Bank years to come. Think about the legacy people. Do we want our kids to be thinking "Huh, named in 2006. That was when mom and dad went to school here...idiots."? I don't. So do S^rilBaasro something about it. Speak up ifyou don't like the name, and hopefully the SU will amend it. S f_LOWA Cheers, A $18.00 •wm^m^^mm Kristopher Orr News Queers, strippers, transsexuals and a sasquatch: Gender Symposium includes them all

but included a wide variety of it up by saying "the stigma of the Mary-Anne McTrowe discussed the also very important for student racial, transgender, intra-gender, whore is yet to be undone." experiences of a female sasquatch development and especially for motherhood, artist expression and The next day a panel of researchers being integrated into society and graduate students who are able sexuality issues. spoke about their findings and becoming domesticated through to present their research in ,m homemaking. These presenters are environment where they are nol The first evening keynote speaker. shared ideas. Graduate student only one aspect of the symposium being graded and can hone their Becki Ross, presented her research Kelly Andres spoke about the current that discussed many other topics skills as speakers and researchers. into the similarities and differences trend of women putting themselves and included more lecturers. of how society views superstar on display via the internet and Research was not the onlj benefil female athletes and striptease webcam live streaming. Gretchen This symposium was instrumental of this experience. Fine Arts (Shannon Frank dancers. Her exploration of the Barnhill from the Department of in allowing researchers to co­ students were also involved in the News Editor subject has shown that, although English lectured about mothers in ordinate ideas gain new perspectives coordination of the event to learn many post war striptease dancers the Victorian age who committed and learn from each other's work. how to organize conferences and be Claudia Malacrida. chair of the team leaders. The first ever Gender Research choreographed. trained and infanticideand how the) were seen by Gender Symposium Committee Symposium was held at the practiced their performances, they the rest of society. Tiffany Boulton, The Gender Symposium Committee and Professor of Sociology, University of Lethbridge March are still shunned from mainstream a graduate student in sociology, hopes to make this an annual event commented that gender research 3 and 4 and brought together society and labeled as filthy, raunchy spoke about cosmetic surgery as long as their sponsors will keep is a multidisciplinary subject but researchers from the departments and unladylike. Even though becoming the norm in mainstream supporting them. The Women is not recognized as one often of History, Sociology, Women's several female athletes have posed society. Political science graduate Scholars Speaker Series, the Office of enough. The symposium allowed Studies, Education, English. Fine nude or nearly nude in magazines student Lisa Lambert spoke about the President and the VP Academic, the many facets of gender research Arts and Political Science. like Playboy and Maxim and are feminists in Alberta who have the Dean of Art's and Science, the to be explored from many different Students and community members continually putting themselves been largely silenced under the Department of Sociology and the standpoints and opened new doors were also keenly interested and on display, exotic dancers are still Klein government and how this Department of Kinesiology were for exploration. filled Andy's place for two days. segregated and treated differently ties in to violence against women all proud supporters of the Gender Topics were not feminist based, than athletes. Becki Ross summed in Alberta. Professor of Fine Arts Symposiums like this one are Symposium. Video game helps saves lives the coordinators would do things way to reduce the amount of money students attempt the driving, the and, despite being told that my Chris Jappert to distract you. These included we spend on health care is to need difference in experience became girlfriend was cheating on me with News Writer realistic distractions, such as your less of it. The way to need less of it is quite clear. Those who drove longer one of my friends, I think I drove phone ringing, checking your make­ to not get injured." were less likely to be distracted all right. But I did learn that if your On Thursday, March 2nd, a video up, or taking a drink of coffee. The While this seems fairly as opposed to those who had just girlfriend cheats on you, dc not drive game was set up in the Atrium in simulated car that you "drove" even straightforward, it is still something started driving. when you first find out. It's hard to which students could play and learn came with hydraulics to help add to that needs to he illustrated to society. Overall, many students who tried stay under the speed limit. But even how to drive safely. The video game the real experience. Many injuries are preventable and the simulator, while not causing any with the lack of mirrors I could see was a simulation of a racing game, Mr. Al Maggir a representative yet cost a great deal to our health major accidents, did break a lot of how easy it was to be distracted and set up by the Be Smart, Be Safe of Canada's insurance companies care system. The benefits of such traffic laws such as speeding, driving lose sight of the road, even for half injury prevention program. was happy to answer questions. programs are clear. on the wrong side of the road and a second. Sometimes, that is all it The simulation was not aimed at He explained how important such The Be Smart, Be Safe program even running stop lights. However, takes. And that was the important trying to win, but to see how easy programs are; "I think it's very is not something new. In fact, it some students argue that it is not an message from this program, that a it was for a driver to be distracted. important because one ofthe biggest only goes to towns where some sort accurate test due to the lack of such half-a-second distraction can mean When students drove and attempted costs to society is health care, we of prevention program is already things as side and rearview mirrors. a couple hundred dollars in medical to follow the rules of the road, hear about it all the time. The best in place. Watching some of the So, I decided to try the simulator, bills, or worse.

Shave your head for cancer SU tackles constitution Shannon Frank News Editor reform On March 31st University of get out of it. However, there was time and resources in the long run. willing to commit full time to it. I Lethbridge students will have the an overall feeling that the GA was However, the SU did not agree find that really disheartening." opportunity to shave their heads pleased with the efforts of CASA. with Blades and voted the position After the policy announcement, the for cancer research. The second topic of discussion down. SU decided to discuss the issue ofthe Providing A Voice Lethbridge Chris Jappert became the focus of the meeting: Another interesting issue was that fitness center and its controversial is organizing the event and News Writer the proposed changes drafted by of a pay increase for the executives. name. After the article released in hopes to raise at least $25 000 Ben Hart and Kent Betts. While the VP Administration Jason Blades the previous issue of the Meliorist, and will likely be the biggest As students were gearing up for their first one was merely a clarification pointed out that at his current there was a great deal of public student run fundraiser ever at reading week plans, the Students' amendment, the next amendment salary, he makes roughly $6.8s/hr concern over the name "Witness the the University of Lethbridge. Union General Assembly (GA) met was completely new. Called the Co­ and that he felt that this was in no Fitness." However, some members Six campuses across Alberta are to decide big changes to the SU's operative Events bylaw, it would way a fair wage for the amount of of the SU felt this criticism was participating and competition constitution and policies. Some of allow any group/organization that effort and time the executives put unjustified. Others in the GA said with the Universities of Calgary the changes to the constitution that was not officially ratified by the into their jobs. While there was a that this has been debated for three and Alberta will be fierce. were discussed included the Faculty SU to hold events with the aid of great deal of agreement on the issue, weeks and no one came forth before The fundraiser also features Representation rules, VP external the SU. The motion was tabled for there were some on the council still to object. In fact, some stated that a presentation by a renowned and election bylaws. Against the the moment, to undergo research. uneasy about the pay raise. So, they liked the name of Witness the oncologist from the University of background of the pumping music However, the next two big issues on rather than defeat it, it was put Fitness. SU President Tyler Tanner Calgary and an after party at the from the Zoo, big decisions were the list were the creation of five new on the table to go to a committee. had no problem with the original Zoo. made. SU positions. These five included I lowever, the executives did receive name but would support any name All proceeds will be donated to While the GA did start a bit late, the VP External, international a tuition allowance that allows a the GA brought forth: "I'll support the Alberta Cancer Foundation due to the fact that some of the student's rep, and other diversity small potion of their tuition fees whatever name the GA decides on. for a preventative awareness executives had classes, everything reps. The diversity reps were voted would be paid for by the SU. This I don't want to be responsible lor campaign. The focus will be ran fairly smoothly. The first down, for many reasons, including met with overall approval, save two choosing the name." Jason Blades to educate young people about item was a presentation by CASA that the position did not cover every people that voted against and two was not quite as congenial, saying. making healthy lifestyle choices (Canadian Alliance of Student diverse group in the SU. that choice to abstain. "It came to the GA, twenty people now in order to avoid this disease Associations) director Philippe The VP External was up again anil three weeks of debate and it in the future. The remaining policy changes Ouellette. The presentation included for vote, and once again, there was wasn't known until after the fact. Providing A Voice is aptly were tabled in light of the fact that a history ofthe organization, how it a great deal of debate on the issue. I find that very disappointing. > named to take the role as leaders much ol tin original wording in the worked, and various goals of CASA. Representative Ben Hart proved expect a lot more." There were when those dealing with cancer document had depended on other One ofthe targets of CASA is more some interesting figures regarding some ideas humorously thrown are not able to raise awareness policies that had not been passed. equality, in that they want more the VP external. He stipulated that around as a possible replacement and funds. In the past three years At the end of the day, some government involvement and more it would cost an extra $29,000 for name including Witness "Da Over $200 000 has been raised by executives left with mixed emotions. opportunities for students looking to the position lo be run effectivel) Fitness, thus changing the symbol 300 odd participants who shaved Jason Blades was not a happy attend university. The GA members However, VP Administration Jason from WTF to WDF, The issue will their heads at canipu.se- across camper: 'Tin totally disappointed. had some fair questions about (ASA Blades argued that such a position be dealt with next meeting if there 1 Alberta. We don't have a \'1> External. We ding lees and what the\ would was sorely needed and would save pa) lor CASA .ind yet we are not a need for it. News Meet Your Candidates! Arts and Science Rep second year Psychology major from Election Day and I am also member President Calgary. of the U of L Senate. Because of I'm running for Arts and Science rep my involvement I am already for the elections. I would like to be very familiar with SU policies elected because I want to increase and procedures. I am committed Student interest through things like to progressing the student food support for the Zoo as well as the bank, increasing student services clubs on campus. I would also like and student assistance. Given my to see greater support for athletics effective knowledge of the SU, I Steve Cherry because I believe it increases school will be able to make informed and spirit and as a psychology major I knowledgeable decisions to get My name is Steve Cherry. I'm a would like to push for more research the students what they want and mature student (26 turning 27 later opportunity at the undergraduate deserve. Jason Blades this month-Happy Birthday to me!), level for all departments at the who's in my third year of a BSc. university. I am fluent in four Dustin Fuller To be the President of the SU would Kinesiology degree. I've been here languages and recently backpacked be a great honour. I would like to forever, and have been involved in in Europe and South Asia. I believe I want to make sure that it is known be the next SU president because many student experiences. I get that I can bring something new and that you can rely on Fuller to get I would bring intensity and vision through school on a combination of fresh to the students union with my the job done! This is my third to the Council. I will start on the working two jobs (including one on cultural experiences as well as my year as a U of L student and over implementation of the SU Strategic campus), and student loans. I'm the drive and desire to succeed. the past year I have served as the Plan. The core of my vision for the third-year rep for the Kinesiology Students' Union VP Academic. SU is that we start buying out the club- KinPhEds, I volunteer Throughout my term I have had a remaining space in Students' Union at CKXU, I compete in Judo, I Patricia Harper number of initiatives ranging from building from the University to offer volunteered at PAWs, I was the establishing a Computer Assistance more services such as a pharmacy, scholarship chair of Kappa Sigma, I My name is Patricia Harper. I am Program for students, organizing more club rooms, expanded SU read and exercise (vigorously) in my currently a second year student at and managing Federal Polling offices, possibly renovations to spare time and I've sat on many SU the U of L. I am completing my Stations for students who live on provide room for a daycare, and General Assembly meetings. And, Bachelor of Science, with a major campus, as well as organizing a relocating the ZOO to where the although my posters are meant to in Biology. I am running for the Bookstore is currently located for Speaker Series, Federal Election be humorous and fun- I want to position of Faculty of Arts and better atmosphere and attendance. Debate, co-founding the SU Council see a rational objectivist approach Samantha LeCerf Science Rep because I want to be I would also like to propose that rez Restructuring Committee; I also applied to student government. involved in student affairs and want students be able to use the food plan founded and chaired the Alternative My name is Samantha LeCerf, I am an opportunity to express my and in the SU food court and the ZOO Transportation Committee. I a first year Arts and Science Student. other students, opinions, for things through their Student ID's, but not believe in honesty, openness, I was born and raised in BC and I consider important issues relating for alcoholic beverages, only food. I teamwork, and I have a passion for moved to Lethbridge a year ago. I to students. As next year is my third have been involved in our provincial student issues and I look forward to am running, as you may have already year at the U of L, I believe I have and federal lobby groups and will working for YOU! I will work hard guessed, as an Arts and Science seek further involvement. Having a fair amount of knowledge and to inform students of issues and Representative for the General a year of SU experience as the VP experience of the faculty to bring work to seek remedies that favour Assembly. I have volunteered for Administration has provided me to the Student's Union council in student's interest to the best of my the Theory Of a Dead Man Concert, with the background to understand the position of Faculty of Arts and abilities, earning your vote!! I will Osman Shah Food Bank Drives, the on campus what the SU is capable of and where Science Rep. work hard to earn my way as your federal debate, and I was in the it can go. SU President. My name is Osman Shah and I am a atrium working the polling booth on continued on page 6

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Meet Your Candidatescontinued from page 5!

Arts and Science Rep hopefully I will be one of your VP Administration VP Academic next Faculty of Arts & Science Representatives. I am entering my second year in a B.Sc in Neuroscience. I have a deep interest in helping represent the student body here at our universit)', kindled by my experience in high school politics. Leading student government in all activities, I was Ben Hart Deputy Prime Minister, and in my Nic Barker final year I was Prime Minister. I Tyler Johnson Charlotte Kingston I currently serve as a Faculty encourage you to vote for me as Representative, sitting on the I see an opportunity to keep the Strategic Planning Committee, My name is Nic Barker; I am a Howdy, I'm Tyler Johnson and I'm My name is Charlotte, and I am a reputation of the Student's Union General Faculties Council, third year Drama student. I am the running for VP Administration. I political science major, going into excellent, to improve student my third year. My five main pillars and Curriculum Co-ordination incumbent for the Faculty of Arts think I'm a prime candidate based involvement in its activities, and to are representation, teamwork, Committee; in addition I also on my experience on the U of L and Science Rep position. This develop the atmosphere here the U diversity, communication, and chaired the Council Restructuring Senate, Council Restructuring past year I have had this position of L to create a lively environment community. The initiatives that Committee. I'm knowledgeable and I have felt it has been a great for students, staff, and visitors. Committee, Student Fee Review arise from these pillars include (but and experienced with the Student's opportunity for me to learn about Committee, etc. My initiatives this sure aren't limited to), creating Union, as well as with University the student politics of our school year include financial accountability a "library" which keeps track Administration. I chose to run for and if given the chance I would be u of the executive by modifying a of the opportunities offered by the Vice President of Academic grateful to have this position again. Si i i current GA's director job to act community organizations so that Affairs because I want to work to For me being in student politics it as trustee adding another level of students looking to get involved can improvestudent representation both is about the well being and growth accountability to the students. After use the SU as a first stop resource to the University Administration of the student body. I feel that I »BP l?v all, it's your money. Other initiatives center and fighting for the rights and to the City of Lethbridge, empowering students to ensure have the attributes and qualities a include daycare feasibility study, of international students to work off campus. Communication quality. I also want ensure that the that make me a very well rounded Uf increasing student participation, means working more closely with University of Lethbridge is a safe candidate that can liaise between Taylor Dean addressingthetransit issues, student students by assisting in grade place that students are proud to our student's union and with you, legal help, and improving the SU's appeal process, being a source of attend. Finally, I want to institute relationship with the surrounding my fellow peers. I am an easy-going This is my third year at U of L, information on tenant rights, and council accountability and fiscal community and improving the Zoo. person, who stands up for what I studying marketing and philosophy. implementing feedback boards responsibility by removing council believe and for most importantly, I feel that the number one issue I've been a bartender at the Zoo on the ULSU.ca website. Finally credit cards and reducing the power for what you, the students believe facing us today is that of apathy. I for two years now and I have some community includes making the ofthe executive council. in. I hope during the elections I will feel that the University community is innate knowledge that would allow atrium a cultural gathering space, get your vote. a vibrant multitude of opportunities me to turn the Zoo from a money- and working to create an SU run VP Internal and experience waiting to be losing venture into a profitable used bookstore. I am currently a unlocked, and I have learned from business. Most importantly, get out Faculty of Arts and Science Rep experience that membership in and exercise your democratic right (2005-2006), have a long history in public speaking, am fully bilingual, organizations such as CKXU fm, the to vote. intelligent, committed, and sure that Surf Club, and the Bar Flair club, I can be excellent in this position; provide an excellent way to meet all I need is the chance, and your people, and make school about far support. more then just reading and lectures. I would encourage the fostering iH ,«*•" •? Angela Ng of new organization that add to Richie Evans the diversity of our school, and w*&rVi I am in my third year of University afford greater opportunities for the Hey everyone my name's Richie in the Faculty of Arts and Science students. Working together we can Evans and I'm a third-year majoring in kinesiology. Currently, I make this the greatest institution in geography major. I'm originally from Manchester, am the promotions manger with the the land. I am a proud student of Joanne Luu Kinesiology and Physical Education the University of Lethbridge, and I England and moved to Canada when I was 18. Student's Society (KinPhyEdS) graciously ask for your vote for the Hi, my name is Joanne Luu and I am I would love to get this job because here on campus. As promotions position of Arts and Science GA running for VP Administration. I I'm a people person and I believe rep. manager I have collaborated with am a third year student majoring in Dennis Gilson this job is geared in that direction. the executives and have increased biology and political science. Having I believe I'm qualified for this job communication with students by served as this year's New Student Hey, my name is Dennis Gilson and because I have worked in high- personally developing the club Orientation (NSO) Coordinator and I'll be running for the position of VP pressure jobs before that take website. Because of the past 2 as the current U of L Rotaract Club Academic. Currently I'm a fifth year people management skills. I have years experience on KinPhyEdS I President; I have developed an array double major in Management and been an RA of the University of have seen the importance of the of skill sets and am poised for my Political Science. 1 enjoy playing Lethbridge residence and also last summer worked in a kid's camp in students' voice and would like to next challenge, to serve the student hockey, skiing, and off-roading Connecticut. These jobs took a lot carry that influence on as being an body at large. I believe I have a real in my truck when it's not broken. of communication skills and I loved Arts and Science representative. I grasp ofthe real needs and interests The reasons for my entry into the working with other people. If I were am easy to work with and reliable of students. While having a giant Matt Yagos race for VP Academic are many, lucky enough to get voted in I believe with a passion for what I do. After bubble with a walking escalator out but there are a few key issues that I would bring in a lot of spirit that University my plans are to go into My name is Matt Yagos and I am to the parking lots may be nice ... I I wanted to be able to bring forth the U of L is lacking and be a very physiotherapy practice or Athletic running for Arts & Science Faculty hope to implement a set of tangible to the Students' Union. I would active and upbeat member of the Representative. When elected, I therapy. objectives with the ultimate benefit like to see initiatives on such things Students' Union. I hope everyone would like to focus on four key areas As your Arts and Science Rep, I of students. REFORM the Zoo. as the Food Bank brought forth, who reads this will vote at www. as Arts & Science Representative: have three initiatives which are This year's executive has taken the ulsu.com and if you vote for me I • Emancipation of the and I would personally like to see to 1) promote and develop inter- vital first steps, we need to take it the grade appeal process work won't let you guys down. Cheers government sales tax (G.S.T.) on guys, and have a good one. faculty games 2) inform students all academically bound textbooks at further, make it better. EXPAND more smoothly for students. The on external issues and 3) consult, the University of Lethbridge. the student experience. We need Zoo is always a hot topic among collaborate and cooperate in • To accrue the quantity to put the foundations in place for students, so I hope to build upon renaming the "WTF" (Witness the of bursaries/scholarships that are UofL spirit; many of us are here the changes made this year to create Fitness). granted to registered Students for at least four years, let's make it an atmosphere that will really draw allocated in the Arts & Science our home and let's start next year! a crowd up there. I will always keep faculty ENFORCE fiscal responsibility my door open, and I hope eveiyone For alleviation of Students' and accountability. Give me the comes out and votes so that maybe Union fees for all co-op students opportunity to ensure you get the I ran SIT you one day soon. Well I registered in the University of most out of every penny of your si! suppose 1 will leave you guys with a Lethbridge's Faculty of Arts & Science Ires anil every effort from your si 1 word from our friends Hal Johnson Nancy MacNeill To enhance community representative. BUILD relationships and Joanne McLeod from Body Hey guys! I'm from Yellowknife, NT involvement interaction between with thr external community. We Break....Keep lit and haw fun. and I'm in my third year of a PoliSci the University of Lethbridge and the need to foster these relations so and History major. 1 was an RA in community of Lethbridge, through that UofL students and graduates Jeremy Girard Universit)' Hall for two years, and the involvemenl of charitable alike will be given support and learned a lot about the school and organizations. My name is Jeremy Girard, and encouraged to succeed. what it means to be really involved. www.themeliorist.com • March 9, 2006 Now I'm going for a slightly more prestigious position, VP Internal. I VP Aperture Board of decided to run because I love being Governors busy, and I think that this school has a lot of potential that doesn't seem to be getting used or recognized. Everyone complains about a lack of school spirit and pride in our University, and I'd really like to try and make a difference in that, because we definitely have a lot to be proud of around here. Vote online at Warren Kerney, the movie guy' Chris Ng This is my third year in residence www.uisii.ca and my first year on ORS. I was As the Undergraduate Board of the 'movie guy' for the last year and Governors Representative, I plan enjoy doing the movie thing very two major initiatives: much. I am running for this position because I want a more hands on 1.1 will highlight student successes to the Board members. It is important Tomasz Budny role within residence. As VP Appy I want to improve Aperture with for them to know the quality of work Starting that students produce. This is not Tomasz is driven and inspired, but necessary items such as new BBQ's limited to only academic success, but not by the need to win a popularity and improved security measures. I want the residents to be able to also includes external relations that contest, this campaign means much students and clubs have initiated Tuesdav. more than just ego to the Political use and see what their ORS funds are going towards. I want to bring and participated in as ambassadors Science major approaching his third of the University. I will emphasize Aperture residents closer together year at the U of L. He is no stranger the importance of campus clubs with frequent and fun aperture wide to achievement being a Pronghorn to the SU General Assembly and events. I want to make residence Athlete with a first-degree black belt how to better utilize Clubs Council the best and most fun experience in judo, training with the Lethbridge as a means of increased club that it can be. Vote for me and I Judo club. He is malleable, aware of collaboration to work as a project- at 9:00am can ensure that you will have a great the diversity of the school, active in oriented body. several clubs including Rotaract, and time next year in rez. 2. The SU's Strategic Planning the Political Science Association. Committee will play a key role in This involvement keeps him on the development of a long-term the pulse of the University and sustainability plan for the SU. I able to represent with an informed look forward to working with the Finn Tie viewpoint. Tomasz believes that the SU Executives immediately after Student Union is not connected with taking office to begin this vision. students and VP Internal Tomasz As a member of the Board, the SU would help link the SU to students. President and I will bring this plan Fridav Primarily he wants to increase to present to the Board regarding awareness of what the SU can do for a long-term sustainability plan students. Secondly, Tjomasz pledges for the SU. The SU and the Board to increase school ^spirit through March 17th Lukas Neamln would develop a memorandum of explosive evenfcs irr$hjfch students understanding regarding a complete can come together afld JtaVfe a great I am 22 years old and currently in Quality of Learning Experience time. ThirdlyJ^Tbinasz pledges my third year of a B.Sc with a major for all undergraduate students. at 4:00pm to make himself aware of what in Chemistry. I have lived in rez This commitment will ensure that students want by engaging himself from the moment I got down here; student services provided by the SU in school clubs and asking students I spent one year in U-hall and one will be sustainable as the University for extensive feedback. Tomasz and a half years in Aperture. I want experiences further growth in the wants to be the LINK between the to be VP Aperture because I spent years to come and that the Board SU and students. one year as an RA last year, had the realizes and supports this. We do time of my life and feel it is time to not want to sacrifice quality for take the next step. As VP Aperture, I quantity. ORS President hope to do two main things: 1) open doors and create more interaction & Residence through more aperture-wide events and 2) promise to hire nothing Fine Arts Rep Representative but the best people for the RA's ^ positions in Aperture. Management Rep

Andy Davies Eric Berkeley Hawthorne I'm Andy Davies and I have good I am going into my third year as an JJ Machalski news and better news. English Education major come the fall 2006 semester. I am currently Hi my name is JJ Machalski and I The good news is: an RA in University Hall and this am running for re-election as the as the only Fine Arts Rep. candidate- past year of experience combined ULSU Management Rep. I am 21 you're stuck with me. with a great first year of residence years old and am finishing my third has given me plenty of practice year here at the U of L working The better news is: when it conies to living and dealing towards an accounting degree. I'm a visual artist and very involved with residence. I am, of course, When 1 graduate, I hope to get my political activist. excited about my own possibility CA designation. I was born and On a more personal note: I'm a of being elected as ORS President raised in Calgary but came down Virgo. I enjoy long walks in shallow and Residence Representative for to the U of L because of it's smaller bogs with my pet cupcake, would the 2006/2007 school year. This class sizes and great reputation. I like to be an astronaut one day, and 11 position would really allow me to am a veiy personable and friendly have never kissed a girl. affect change with regards to how person and I bring that personality You'll know me around campus residence operates and is seen on to the SU. I love this job and I've by my grotesquely double-jointed our campus. I want to continue to tried to do it to the best of my ability knees and the two chairs that I carry w' grow a strong relationship between within the last year. 1 hope to get around. the Students' Union Council and the re-elected so that 1 can continue to students who live in residence. As represent the management students RISE UP ARTISTS, i see it, residence students should of this school with fairness and ACTORS, MUSICIANS. he at the centre of school spirit and strength. Ifyou have any questions AND LOVERS OF LIFE!! if I am elected I hope to make this for me please come and see me in statement very true. theSU. CHECK "YES" FOR ANDY! WWW. ULSU .CA

RDDM SU1BQ PH: 329-2222 C O M M E NTS : S U . O P E R AT I D N S(a) U L ET H . C A STUDENTS' UNION COUNCIL WEEKLY UPDATE Hey there everyone. Glad to write Up in the Zoo there are Foosball campus. Come stop by my office any­ this council report once more for the tournaments happening every Tuesday time and enquire about these events. I TEST BANK Students' Union. There are many hap­ this month. Come on out and show would he more than happy to point you pening things that are taking place some skill in this intense game of cun­ in the direction of certain clubs. Ifyou this week here in the Students' Union ning and strategy, which is essentially are a club looking to have .in event make DRIVE and all over campus. I'm gonna do ray spinning little dudes on a stick around sure you stop by my office to chat first. best to tell you about them right now. The end of the year is coming up First and foremost, there are elec­ soon, which is pretty scary because tions happening to fill the Students' then we all have to go and get jobs. And Union positions for next year. There for yours truly, it will mean the culmi­ LAST DAY MARCH 31 are a bunch of stellar candidates that nation of 5 years of intense University have thrown their names in the ring. learning. Who am I kidding, there was There has been a large increase with some learning accomplished but for the the level of interest for these positions most part it was the experience I value. Drop off your old exams or from last year, which is awesome. If there are any needs from students assignments and enter to This means that you, the students, that crop up near then end of the se­ win a Coca-Cola Diner are taking more of an interest in the mester - as there always are -1 want ev­ affairs of the university. Voting takes eryone to feel comfortable coming into Radio/CD player place next week, so look for your rep­ Andrew Lunn the Students' Union office and asking worth $115. resentatives around the halls to ask VP Internal Affairs for assistance. them questions. I strongly urge ev­ and around. For more info, run up to Well, I'll warp this up here with a fi­ eryone to take a vested interest in the The Zoo and inquire. nal thought for the day. If a tree falls on voting process and go online at www. As usual there are many different a mime in the woods, would anybody ulsu.ca next week to vote. things happening with clubs around really care??

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THE 17 ERVICE ENTRE HELP WANTED

• Confection • Stamps Join us for Handbook Ad Sales Agent St. Patricks Pay Sp^als • Microwave • Fax Service Students' Union • Bus Passes • Photocopiers The University of Lethbridge, Students' Union is looking to fill the tem­ Election Results %U plZZa -With Purchase of a drink porary position of Ad Sales Agent immediately. This individual will sell at 4:30pm $3 Vir|95 -for one dozen • Newspapers ads to the general public for the Students' Union Handbook. This project is a well-established business venture with return clients and a positive Starts at 3pm • Magazines • Phone Cards reputation. The selected candidate will be required to perform the fol­ lowing tasks: • Concert & Cab Tickets -Initiate contact with local business to promote handbook advertising. •SluqcVi Specials $6.50 -Collect and secure advertising contracts. -Offer suggestions for ad design and collect appropriate promotion Fish & Chips Your Campus materials. 1 lam Soup 0/ \\z Pay Alt Convenience Store -Relay client's information to the Handbook Editor/Graphic Designer to 3pm for creation of ad. Clam Chowder Located in the SU Food Court -Ensure all advertisements are approved by client. Phone: 582-7147, Fax: 382-71*5 -Maintain and update contact list. -Collect payment for advertisements. -Compile payment information for Bookkeeper. E-Vote -Write report outlining experience and suggestions. For Your Students' Council The likely candidate will need to become familiar with University statis­ tics and have a good understanding of the student market. The ideal ap­ W$W\PmmT www.ulsu.ca plicant should be either currently enrolled in, or a recent graduate of, a Marketing program at a post-secondary institution. Experience with sales Learn more about student issues is an asset. Strong communication skills required for this position. and review the Candidates Profile available on-line. Become an The successful candidate will be working in a team environment with on­ oqtap informed voter. going training and cooperation of other staff.

Position to commence immediately. Offer closes April 7, 2005. Employ­ Voting takes place ment will be effective for a 10 week term, commencing on May 1, 2006. Salary: $7.oo/per hour base salary plus 10% commission for all sales con­ 3S5* kcprfohavni 9 am Tuesday, March 14- tracted and collected by the Ad Sales Agent. mm M| may Boy Sixxsjt-r 4 pm Friday, March 17 Please forward cover letter and resume to: The General Manager, U of 1- Students' Union, 4401 University Drive, Lethbridge, Alberta, TiK MM4. INTERNATIONAL STUDENT IDENTITY CARD (ISIC) Email: [email protected]. Your International Student transport, accommodation, meals, ways that the ISIC can add more fun Identity Card (ISIC) gives you access shopping, telephone calls, cultural ac­ and value to your life. But it's up to TUESDAY'S GAMES NIGHT PRESENTS to tens of thousands of benefits and tivities and more in 116 countries. you to get the most out of it that you services, carefully selected with the You don't have to travel to make can! Visit www.isie.org to explore the special needs and wishes of students your ISIC work for you. It also gives ISIC network and discover all the spe­ POOSBALL in mind. You'll find that ISIC simply you great day to day value at home cial savings, information and assis­ TOURNAMENT makes your life easier, cheaper and and around campus. You'll save on tance available to you. much more fun, wherever you are. clothes, CDs, cinemas, transportation, For more information, brochures a Trams Par Night, 2 Players Par Team The ISIC is not just another stu­ DVD rentals, clubbing, eating out, and or an application form, come to the $ IO.OO Entry Pa* par Team dent ID - it's the only one that is glob­ local attractions to name just a few. Students' Union office (SU180). Winner Recelvei 75% of All Entry f— Money Second Place Receive* 15% of All Entry Pea Money ally recognized and accepted. With Whenever and wherever you Distributors of the ISIC include PRIZE} TO BE WON ALL NIGHT ISIC, you have all the credentials you travel, the ISIC Emergency Help Line VIA Rail and Travel CUTS. For more need to get access to the special ben­ is there to assist you. With just one information about obtaining your efits and discounts offered to students free phone call, you can get emergen­ isic card go to the Travel CUTS web EVERY TUESDAY throughout the world. cy legal and medical referrals at any site at www.travelcuts.com. The clos­ February 28 - March 28 With ISIC, you get substantial hour ofthe day or night. est Travel CUTS office is located in discounts on airline tickets, local These are just highlights of the Calgary. Starts 7 pm Features it: the U of L, a few of point and that we need to "find that to be angry at our neighbour. Melanie Thomas said at a meeting the guest lecturers spark that was so alive during the 2. Join a Nongovernmental during the recent Canadian Federal discussed Dallaire's cold war and in the Second World Organization (NGO) or several. Election. Often those who are the inability to inspire War and harness it for the good of They carry a lot of influence: most vocal in their opinions are the support for the UN mankind." I agree, but how? Right "some," according to Dallaire, "a ones that don't vote. Talk about troops in Rwanda. now it's being used to sell magazines lot more than they should." If throwing away your voice! My vote He was given an about Angelina Jolie's baby and the people take an active interest in may not have elected Melanie but I impossible task latest diet pill. I ask again, "How groups like Amnesty International made a decision - who I supported - and was unable to do we make the young care again?" and other groups dedicated to based on the information that I was demand support Romeo Dallaire is a man who seems effecting positive change, we can presented with. She cares about for UN troops in unable to speak a sentence without create a "supra" power that the what happens in this world. How Rwanda. One of it becoming something that you can UN and nations in general have to many people here in Lethbridge the speakers in my quote in a newspaper article. I don't listen to. If I may be so bold as to who voted for Rick Casson know class on genocide believe he does this deliberately; I add: we can make the phones ring. that he cares? I never got the chance quoted the U.S. think he truly believes in a path to 3. Get angry. Get Involved. to meet him but for a few minutes. press secretary in the future and we need leaders with Students in Quebec went on strike Melanie talked to me personally 1994, who allegedly vision in this world. We need to for two days to protest tuition and answered my questions as best (my memory on make the young care again. Maybe increases, after increases tuition was she was able. I later confirmed this the subject is pretty I should give Melanie Thomas a still lower than here in Alberta. If we during a heated political discussion shoddy) said, "the call. She's doing research on this don't like what's happening, instead the night after the election. Those phones didn't for her graduate degree. Maybe of arguing with our friends Gen. with the loudest voices in the room ring." People did she could use a research assistant. Kaleb Orge Dallaire told us he "had no problem hadn't put their voice into a ballot. not care. Three things Romeo Dallaire Ifyou believe things have to change Meliorist Contributor with you marching down Main Street I care about Dallaire's story. What urges eveiyone to do if they want to town hall and grilling the mayor do something - it will take time but about the millions who died? Do to start making a difference: about what he's doing to increase the system can be changed. The I count myself privileged to have I really give a sh*t about them? I 1. Stop ragging on the awareness about what's going on phones have to ring. If everyone is heard General Romeo Dallaire speak asked General Dallaire how we can Americans. Their leaders have in Darfur." If you don't know that pissed off but they don't pick up the here in Lethbridge. He is possibly inspire my fellow twenty-something done a lot of stupid things, but in Rwanda, millions of people are phone, nothing will be done. Find a one of the most inspiring people students to care about world affairs their country is deeply divided turning a blind eye to a slaughter way to take action. When my head I have ever heard speak - next to a and our fellow man - God forgive me and very, very afraid. We need to of thousands of people in Africa clears after some sleep, I'm going to handful of teachers who convinced for saying it - the way we care about use our influence as their biggest rapidly becoming millions of people, track down Melanie's e-mail. There me to make learning and education what's on sale at the mall and what's trading partner and as a "mediator" because it's happening in Africa, are not enough studies available in my life's goal. happeningonourfavouritetelevision if you will to start making that and not, say, next door you can see the public domain. She needs all When I took my liberal studies shows this week? He answered me fear go away and to stop giving why the mayor needs to be yelled at. the help she can get. course on genocide last semester at by recognizing that I raised a valid the rest of the world more reasons I was shocked by something -Written Feb. 11 2006 Three lines free and you Garret Ford of the 'Piltdown TLF' that was demand for faster communication Features Editor found during the summer of 1912 became apparent when these two in Europe. However they have TLFs were printed in the same issue Three Lines Free: the Meliorist denounced it as not being a genuine ofthe paper in Spain. enigma. Does anyone actually TLF, as it does not bear the name of TLF 1: Hey Columbus! Don't sail realize when they submit a TLF they the submitter. If the name is ever off the edge of the world, fool! have the chance to change history? found, this TLF would date back to TLF 2: America is cold and boring, Most people don't, but after doing before the stone age. stay out of there. -Chris some extensive research I have During the age of antiquity, As one could imagine, this created found some evidence that proves my however, a TLF was usually only a good deal of cognitive dissonance theoty. What you say in a TLF could a luxury afforded by royalty. This for the reader. However, in the next well change the world. Think ofthe quickly changed with the beginning centuries great leaps were made in butterfly effect. A butterfly off in a ofthe Industrial Revolution and the communication culminating with Caribbean island flapping its wings growth of the middle class. Freed the telegraph. The telegraph led could well cause a hurricane with from the grasp from the royalty, the to the publication of this TLF in the power and wrath of hurricane TLF was, for the first time, available an American paper during the war we will. - B-I-G 3 - Deep throat Katrina. How, you ask? Oh take to the public with the invention of of t8l2: Don't make us come down The TLF in the second half of the 9: Guard post --42 stop shooting care, dear reader! Take care! For I the printing press. there and burn your white house 20th century became the flag bearer the protesters, they will never tear will tell you: The first TLF to be printed by down. of revolution and conflict. Here are down the wall. The earliest recorded TLF is: C, Gutenberg's printing press was: This was only the beginning of some famous TLFs from the 1960s 1999: Y2k is a hoax! Don't be] I saw u (a the nile ur hotter than Fore sale - one kingdom, will parte threats being uttered over the onward. ill told ' mi. it's a seam! - Mae Aphrodite, invade the world with with for loyale horse. TLF's page. This famous TLF was • 3: JFK, if I see u in dailas ur What does the future hold for the me? - Alex However the printing press was submitted during World War II: H. dead. SERIOUSLY - LHO Only time will tell, so Scholars have debated the validity only the start: before long the you suck and should kill yourself or L972: He] N, I know what you did vour mark and submit a TLF: Best Western Heidelberg Inn VV^M Northwestern? 1303 Mayor Magrath Drive South Lethbridge, AB TI K 2R I Phone: 329-0555 Fax: 328-8846 We're Passionate About Your Toll tree: 1-800-791-8488 Email: info® heidelberginn.com vvvvvv.bestvvestern.com/ca/heidelberginn Future in Natural Health Care! "The high quality of the professors at Northwestern is a huge strength! 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24-Hour Distress Line & Suicide Prevention Line: 327-7905 /1-888-787-2880 General inquiries & Mental Wellness Information: oeVty 329-4775 The Weekly Haikus By Alex Wylie Canadian Mental Health Association, Lethbridge Region Four hundred free bones. Dear Oprah, you own So who else bought an iPod me and the rest of the world. 426 - B Street South. Lethbridge. AB. TU ZC9 And now can't pay rent? p.s. | love you... www.lethbridge.cmha.ab.ca What makes a good day? Canadian Mental Health Association is a registered non-profit organization and invites Under Moonlit Skies When I don't fall down a hill you to help people find mental wellness, consider a donation today. By David Woodroffe Too many hills here. Lying here under moonlit skies The stars surrounding a perfect night and Tommy G's Pub present I can't but look into your lovely eyes

A world apart, our souls arise You have no shoes on. Wrapped up in your arms so tight Gary Target Drum War Contest Lying here under moonlit skies You aren't wearing shoes, Our passion calls out and each star Put on some shoes, One Night Only! replies Why don't you wear your shoe, Prizes and non-smoking venue I am though blinded to their wondrous You need to wear shoes, presented by Students for Tobacco Reduction sight If the cobblers are all gone, I can't but look into your lovely eyes How will I repair my shoe, Just imagine cutting leather shoes, I gaze upon beauty in angel's guise And nailing them to your shoes, And years pass in a second's flight I need to put on my shoes, Lying here under moonlit skies will hurt my feet on the pointy ground, Shoes are important so please You are my love, my life, my prize I have an old shoe, Basking in rapture as two hearts unite It fits me- not you, I can't but look into your lovely eyes Shoes are made for feet, Feet aren't made for shoes, Cherishing the seconds until the sun flies Rebel against the shoe, Monday, March 13,9:00 pm at Tommy G's Soaked in you and in sweet twilight Rebel against the social controls Lying here under moonlit skies Rebel against shoes. 425 -13th Street North 380-2695 I can't but look into your lovely eyes No shirt, No SHOES, No service. www.themeliorist.com • March 9, 2006 11 Bogeyman! Weekly SUDOKU by Linda Thistle that slashing of the back of their window. They up teenagers in took me down to the police station cars parked in and lectured me on the dangers 4 8 9 3 woods, chasing of wandering around with an axe cheerleaders dressed like a psychopath. I tried 1 down abandoned to explain to them: I wasn't dressed 6 2 9 hallways, and - as a psychopath. I was dressed not to mention - as a bogeyman. There is a huge 9 2 5 4 being impossible difference. to kill was the After spending six hours In a 1 2 8 5 life for me. So holding cell the police only made I went to my me talk to the police psychologist 8 9 7 3 local department for two hours. On the way out of store, picked up the police station, the dream had 8 an axe, an ugly died. My dream had been shattered 4 9 5 pair of coveralls so soon. I realized I wasn't cut out and a hockey for the bogeyman business. I did 5 3 4 7 mask. It was not possess a supernatural talent - I time to go to couldn't even escape two policemen 2 6 3 5 work. with super-human speed, and I found my first worst of all I hadn't been killed and 4 7 9 6 target. It was an resurrected by my hatred of meddling innocent looking kids. I walked home that day, in the By Garret Ford van with a pair of passengers sitting snow. The cars honking at me as I Place a number in the empty boxes in such a way Features Editor in the front seat. Parked alongside crossed the bridge in the snow. It that each row across, each column down and each the road. I snuck up oh so quietly was so dreadfully melodramatic small 9-box square contains all of the hoping the fog would conceal my that I realized my true calling that I numbers from one to nine. As many of you know, I have been approach. I took the edge of my would pursue once I got home. The searching for my ideal job. Well axe and began to scrape on the tragic hero! So I gave the coveralls DIFFICULTY THIS WEEK: *** last week I had a short-lived, but back window of the van. It was a to good will, I donated the hockey valuable life lesson. I had somehow police van. What are the chances? mask to the local hockey team, and got it into my head that I wanted Like 1:100? 1:1000? Of all the vans threw the ax in the trunk of my car. * Moderate ** Challenging to be a bogeyman. I am not sure I have to use for my first target I Because if being a bogeyman taught • •* HOOBOY! if it was from watching Seyen for choose the only surveillance van in me one thing, there is no problem the eighth time in one week or the Lethbridge. I tried to explain I was an axe can't solve. Not even frost on ©2006 by Mno FMNUTM Syndfctf*. inc. World rights r—ivd. insomnia. Regardless, I decided just trying to scrape the frost off a window.

I had spent many days and nights full speed. The heavy iron clanked fists." The poor dumb beast had in the basement of the museum. I closed and they began to assail the been lead to his grave. could navigate it by memory. He door with their fists. I sat on the "Mister Rigby, let me out and I had dared to challenge a lion in other side of the door and began to will not only let you live, t I will his den. My eyes began to adjust laugh. I was giddy with excitement! do anything you want. I do mean to the dark as I backed away from I clapped my hands and listened to anything, mister Rigby - for I know the vault into the maze of ancient their pleas with utter ecstasy. howyoulookat me." Her comments wonders. I produced the blade "Mister Rigby! Ifyou please! This almost made me blush. by Garret Ford into my hand and felt the rise of chamber is airtight! Open the door "Sorry Miss Eva Mast, your adrenaline. I heard everyone's immediately!" Barnaby Nickel had seductress ways will not bend me. cries of amazement. I grinned, for never set foot into the vault before You will become possessions to the Sam Rigby: Weakness in the heart my luck had suddenly turned. The hands eagerly. How fun it was no doubt. local police, I believe, instead. I is far worse than weakness of body. musty air and the darkness and the to watch the prey squirm before "Sorry Mister Nickel, your stay hope you like being trapped, for you The wicked trio had entered the cries of fear reminded me of the striking. Little moth, come to ruin inside the vault will be a terminal will be for a long time." I covered vault of the museum. I stood back dungeons beneath the stairs. The these precious things. They backed one." I laughed at my good my lie, for I coveted her more than holding the light as they sifted stench of decay and the intoxicating slowly into the vault and I could humour. all the forbidden knowledge of through the mass of wealth that was stench of fear filled my nostrils. I hear the jingle as they filled their "Mister Rigby! If you do not open ancient Babylon. now theirs for the taking. ¥.va Mast smiled to myself and moved towards pockets with ill-gotten gain. this door, I will break it down and "But Mister Rigby, do you not with her splendid blood red lips their cries of despair. I moved faster than darkness, then do the same to your body!" remember that we have information and fiery red hair was the first to I was surprised suddenly. They before they could raise an alarm I Molly's voice wavered with fear for on you that the police would enjoy enter the vault; followed by traitor had re-lit the lamp and I moved back began to push the vault door shut. the first time. as well." Her voice grew stronger Barnaby Nickel, the lamp's light deeper into the shadows watching By the time they realized the trap "Sony, my giant! I believe these and mocking; I had forgotten their reflecting off his bald shiny head. I the trio flutter about the light like they had walked into it was too late reinforced iron vault doors will blackmail scheme. How I cursed moved to keep up but was caught by frightened moths. I rubbed my and the vault door swinging shut at prove more than formidable to your them! the arm of Molly. Molly stood above me a good extra three feet and his sickly skin glowed in the lamp's light. The sickly giant looked at me with a cruel smile. "It appears you have outlived your usefulness Mister Rigby. Come with me, and it will be painless." The giant produced a notched baton from his overcoat. "Sir! I do protest! Let me live! Remember you might need me later!" I backed away slowly. "Nay, mister Rigby. We only said those things so you would work with us more easily. It was our plan all along to dispatch you here in this basement!" He laughed heartily and his eyes flickered with malice. "Please, I do not wish any violence. Think ofthe mess, the questions that will follow my disappearance! Do not dispatch me so hastily! It would be most folly!" I begged pitifully for my life. "You were a pitiful recluse, Mister Rigby. I believe nobody knows you, and nobody will miss you. Now come along you pathetic little thing. You were nothing in your homeland. Prepare to join oblivion." He lunged forward with his club and I dropped the lamp we were plunged into darkness. You can submit your TLF's to [email protected] or visit our website at www.themeliorist.com All TLF's must be submitted via a valid uleth account. Keep in mind that slanderous or offensive TLF's may be edited or omitted. TLF's must be submitted by Sunday afternoon for the following Thursday's edition of The Meliorist. Superfluous TLF's will be held until the next issue.

Students get in trouble for not R, I have been thinking about us shoulder; treating the mic the way BATS!! BATS!! AHHHH my eyes! me what 'lu-kanging' is? doing their work during reading again, I think we should get back a demented rat treats cheese week...but what is the logic of the together. -B Sproxinator is the bomb! Yes I am irish, no I won't say library shortening its hours during Happy Birthday Nic! something stupid like 'top of the this week? Way to go. What? free coffee friday in peer No you can't hold my hand. I don't mornin' or 'they are always after referral office.where? student Why don't people smile back do hands. me lucky charms.' !! WARNING!!.... we kicked our awful union building 064!why?enter the when others smile at them? Are roommate out, so he is out there draw for the prizes we are giving your muscles broken or are you Isn't it funny that we BOTH want to Doesn't anyone believe in good looking... BE CAREFUL!!! away! just shy? Step out of your comfort sleep with him? Flip you for em? old fashioned malts and soda's zone! anymore? Tyler, know how I know your gay? Trolls Rugby: Oxymorons in action Nishikaze is coming! Because your "TO DO" list is filled turbo solitaire is bad for my essay. Hey_ row you with all guy's names! -Ash Movies that never quite made it: And we never played drunken have and _ please Bicurious George and The Man in SWM Tailor seeks SWF model for live Mario Kart again... stop before I and Anyone interested in a hichhiking The Yellow Hat Art project. Please note: only 100 goat- adventure to the west coast? sq. ft. of material available. Wait! I can explain! I was taking a the professor. Looking for a pardner to join me. Chelle Belle! Babes is sorry, meow! shower and she thought I wasn't Submit response to TLF No more.puking on your bed f Lets all go out and get some and walked in, I ran for a towel 'Uh-UH UH! UH!! Did you feel it?' l STRANGE ass tonight!!! and we fell on top of each other! worst sex ever. Who keeps drawing on the library Not only is the textbook a better computer screens with pen? teacher, it also has a better U of L WOW players Unite!!! J = HOT HOT HOT! Go for the eyes boo, go for the Seriously, stop your douche- personality. E-mail [email protected] for eyes... RASKK!! baggery! more Info I like it when the red water comes happy birthday tara! out... Dildos are like tofu, meat Girl:"Do you know any girls with Does anyone else in ENGL2450 replacements. nice boobs?" To the person complaining about ever want to jab their eyes out with Poor chap, he appears to be Guy:"Yours certainly look great..." boy with white fro having sex their pens when "you know who" confuzzled! Bad luck! Valentines day is gone, BUT Giant best question ever uttered at the with randoms while she herself talks? rabbit day is coming! HAVE YOU Roadie. is evidently doing the same: the its coming... 6/6/06 SPENT ENOUGH ON CHOCOLATE? white fro probably indicates "he" is Isn't it funny how RAP is 75% cRAP? Kegger at the Roadhouse March actually a grandma, which would Coincidence? I think not. Wanted: '1337 haxOr' to teach me Room for rent: 6x3 box, fully 17th, come party Irish style with 6 account for the lack of a penis. how to 'pwn' people online. furnished, quiet clean dead only kegs! Tickets only $ 10 for no-line, no- WTF is wrong with ADAM need apply. cover, and all you can drink beer! Dear Fashion Po-Po: I did a random DIAKOW??? Do amazing girls steal your heart E-mail: [email protected] survey of about fiddy students. Not because they don't have one? Its Argh! MIDTERMS Make me crazy! for tickets. one of them understood what To Gorgeous Girl (Erin) in intolerably cruel. you were trying to say. Think, then Archaeology 1000 - Why do you I only love you when you're in him. To the guy who anonymously type. have to be gorgeous? I can not To the roomate who used my towel returned my ID card wallet to stay eyes off you. You sometimes for toilet paper, I will find out who How r lobby groups a good thing? security: Thanks. Although its "art... NOW!!!" said the art lady smile at me. you are. funny that the money inside was with a thick Ukrainian accent, To Moony - I hope that you and "anonymously" removed. balancing the microphone on her Pwned by a nOOb? ur nOt 1337 Can someone please explain to Poseidon work things out - Pook. Entertainment 13

fli kola To/1 a bid/ farewell lo (he Bridge

By Jared McKenzie Nikola Tesla break up without a their first full-length CD. around. The requisite circle pit was energetic show that left the audience Entertainment Editor final show in Lethbridge. Next was Alivia, who were pretty formed, and was soon filled with a exhausted and drained. The only Unfortunately, I couldn't make it disappointing. Their songs all variety of sweet ninja moves and complaint I heard was that the show Calgary hardcore heroes Nikola for The Ghost Cried Murder, who sounded the same, and their cartwheels. As well, since it was an wasn't long enough, but the band Tesla came to town on March 3 for opened the show, but I came in just template wasn't that good to begin all-ages show, some of the younger looked as exhausted as the dancers their final Lethbridge show. The as locals Atrophy Manuscript were with. Overall, I think most of the kids were encouraged to give it the at the end of their set. It was a fitting foursome has been together for four midway through their set. As usual, crowd was fairly indifferent to old college try. Most of them left the final performance for Nikola Tesla years, and they are breaking up at the boys in Atrophy rocked the Alivia, but -to be honest - most of pit early, clutching their chests and in Lethbridge. the end of this month. Since their crowd at the University Ballroom. us were there to see Nikola Tesla. looking like they might throw up. previous shows in Lethbridge have The trio is one of the best bands Once the foursome took the Of course, I hid in the corner and been such a success, local promoters Lethbridge has to offer, and are makeshift stage, the crowd finally took pictures. Thanks to Tanya Plonka for many the Verusum Collective couldn't let currently in preparation to release started to get energized and move Nikola Tesla put on an intense, of the pictures.

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4 SS T>Montreal is back in Lethbridge on March 12 at the Tongue'n'Groove. I've been thinking a lot about Tricky Woo's live show is definitely Madonna lately. Her new album is a sight to be seen, and fans of T- Rex constantly being played everywhere or the Stooges should check this out. I go and I hear the analog remixes I have to say, I'm fairly indifferent at work all the time. Also, she is to Tricky Woo's records, but the last performing at this year's Coachella time they were here they rocked me festival, which is essentially the to the core. They have huge stacks Mecca for indie kids. The line-up of amps, dress like rockstar pimps, features a hundred indie hands. and put on a wicked show. So go. Tool as a headliner, and a 48-year Cover will probably be around $10 old woman from Jersey in a unitard or so, and you should bring ear who has tried to pass herself off as protection. British for the past live years. It doesn't really make much sense 3. Pretty, Witty, and Gay: The to me, especially that part about most anticipated theatre event in the unitard. Seriously Madonna, I the city is back for its third year on could handle the Che Guevara look March 12. This year's celebration of American Life, and the Brokeback of sexuality, gender diversity, and Mountain-esque aesthetic of Music, performance has moved to the but that unitard has got to go. University of Lethbridge Theatre, Here's what is going on this week: but the intimacy of cabaret seating will still be intact. As well, all the 1. The Squid and the Whale: The proceeds from this event go straight SAAG's monthly screening of an art- to the Lethbridge HIV Connection. house film is happening on March Tickets are $6 at the U of L Box 15 at the Galaxy Cinemas in Park Office, and they will sell out quickly. 5. The Turncoats! Lethbridge 6. Mr. Plow! Apparently, Sunday night and no cover. Doors are at 8. Place Mall. This month's selection The show is at 8:00 p.m. locals The Turncoats are playing night is the night for live shows in is The Squid and the Whale, an at the Blarney Stone on Saturday, Lethbridge. March 12 sees Mr. Plow V2) The Latest Internet Comic: Oscar-nominated film directed by 4. SU Elections: You should March 11. They're a great band, and performing at the Slice (formerly This one is completely irreverent Noah Baumbach. The film tells the all vote for next year's Students the Blarney is a great venue with Trio's Bar and Grill) with the Mad and hilarious, and pretty twisted. story of two young brothers dealing Union between March 9 and 12. good ventilation for all you non- Cowboys. Mr. Plow has been Head to www.marriedtothesea.com with their parent's divorce in the Since the ballots are online, letting smokers. As well, there's no cover described as "a cross between G.G. Thanks to Katie for letting me in on 1980's, and is based on real events your voice be heard has never been charge! It bears repeating: no cover Allin and Bob Dylan," which sounds this gem. in Baumbach's life. It stars Jeff easier. If you missed the Townhall for a live show in Lethbridge. And pretty much amazing. His last Daniels, Laura Linney, and Anna speeches earlier this week, be sure it is a wicked band performing too, record featured cameos by members Do you have an event for Jared? Let Paquin. Tickets are $8 at the door to check out the Meliorist's fantastic so you should be there on Saturday of Fishbone and Strapping Young him know at e.editor@themeliorist. for non-SAAG members, and the coverage of all the issues, including night. Lad, and it sounds like his show will com or we will publish a picture of show starts at 7. the Fitness Centre naming fiasco. be fantastic. There is free pool all him in a unitard. Gross. qOcn Top Ten: 188.3 FM Mi 1. Various - All Tomorrow's Parties 3.1: Curated by Matt Groening 2. Belle and Sebastian - The Life Pursuit 3.The Shoot Horses Don't They - Boo Hoo Hoo Boo 4. Christa Couture - Fell Out of Oz 5. Polysics - Now Is the Tme! 6. Lesbians on Ecstacy - Giggles in the Dark 7. Charlie Hunter Trio - Copperopolis 8. James Moody - The World is a Ghetto Thinking of a Career in Health? 9.. Barzin - My Life in Roms 10. Hinterland - The Picture Plane Consider SAIT for training in dynamic health careers. Top Five - Hip Hop Highly skilled and technology-trained health care professionals are in UDilla-Donuts high demand. Start this fall to train in: 2Jel-Soft Money • Respiratory Therapy 3. Jay Bizzy - The Ghost of Jacob Marley • Pharmacy Technician - Retail 4. Solomon - A Thousand Words Are Worth the Picture • Health Information Management, Medical Transcription and Health 5. 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redefine yourself www.sait.ca/health POL YTECHNIC^ www.themeliorist.com • March 9, 2006 15 I wish I could quit ye­ an Oscar-Themed rant By Jared McKenzie and said that Bjork couldn't make it to the best line in the history of cinema ("I wish Entertainment Editor show because Dick Cheney shot her when I knew how to quit you"). So, when Crash she was trying on her dress. I lis jokes were picked up the statuette, I was extremely The Oscars are really boring. There, I quick, relevant, and politically incorrect. surprised. Truth be told, Crash was an said it. Of course, there are some good What more could you ask for in a host? excellent film with great writing and a great moments in each year's show (like when Of course, there were a few presenters cast. However, I still thought the Oscar Adrian Brody made out with Halle Berry, that were excellent, instead of those that voters would choose the "groundbreaking," or when Roberto Benigni crawled over just read off the teleprompter. Sure, over-hyped Brokeback Mountain, simply the seats like someone who was about to Will Ferrell and Steve Carrell came on in because of its controversy. go into a glycemic coma), but this year overdone makeup, but they had nothing Finally, did anyone else notice the seemed particularly demure. Fortunately on LilyTomlin and Meryl Streep. The pair writer's tendency to insult people who for everyone who was watching, it clocked presented the Lifetime Achievement Award prefer to watch movies on DVD than in in at a record 3.5 hours. Aside from the to legendary director Robert Altman, their a theatre? Many presenters mentioned length of the show, the other highlight of remarks showcased the style that made the "movie-going experience," some even the evening was the host, John Stewart. Altman a legend, and they pulled it off suggesting that you can't enjoy a film in Some people were disappointed with flawlessly. It was hilarious and seemed your own home. Is the film industry that Stewart's job, but I felt he was great. He on the edge of falling apart, which is what concerned about DVD sales overtaking brought the same style of observational, makes Altman's films feel so real. box office revenues? If that's the case, outsider humour that the Daily Show is Before watching the show, I was sure then maybe the industry should focus best known for: he claimed that pulling Brokeback Mountain would win Best on releasing new, original material that down the giant Oscar statue would bring Picture. It has been so over-hyped in the people are interested in seeing, like the five democracy to Hollywood, ran a variety of past few months; it won a ten-gallon hat full Best Picture nominees. Or, they could just harsh campaign-style ads for Best Actress, of Golden Globes, and features the single keep releasing crap remakes. And the winners are... Best Picture: Crash Brokeback Mountain Gustavo Santaolalla. Best Actor: Philip Seymour Best Original Screenplay: Paul Best Original Song: " It's Hard out Hoffman, Capote Haggis and Bobby Moresco, Here for a Pimp " from " Hustle Best Actress: Reese Witherspoon, Crash & Flow, Jordan Houston, Cedric Walk the Line Best Animated Feature Film: Coleman and Paul Beauregard. Best Supporting Actor: George Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of Best Costume: Memoirs of a Clooney, Syriana the Were-Rabbit Geisha Best Supporting Actress: Rachel Best Art Direction: Memoirs of a Best Documentary Feature. March Weisz, The Constant Gardener Geisha of the Penguins Best Director: Ang Lee, Brokeback Best Cinematography: Memoirs of Best Documentary (short subject): Mountain a Geisha A Note of Triumph: The Golden Best Foreign Film:" Tsotsi," South Best Sound Mixing. King Kong Age of Norman Corwin Africa. Best Sound Editing: King Kong Best Film Editing: Crash Best Adapted Screenplay: Larry Best Original Score: Brokeback Best Makeup: The Chronicles of McMurtry and Diana Ossana, Mountain, Don't drag it home... Store it at the 'Bin'!!

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record. Pink Mountaintops' 2004 self-titled record was about sex, there's no two ways around Chelsea Mushaluk that. It wasn't about the Barry White, deep The Other Press (Douglas College) voice, "ooh baby," romance on a bearskin rug- type sex either. It was all about the fast, dirty, VANCOUVER (CUP) - Stephen McBean is sex-drugs-rock-and-roll-type sex. Somehow, a busy, busy man. Besides being the former they made it sound so pretty. Their second frontman for Jerk With a Bomb, he fronts effort, Axis of Evol, is less about the sex and Black Mountain (which is the full JWAB more about the rock. On the whole, it's pretty band), and is also singer/guitarist/frontman similar to Black Mountain. This is to be w<- '^ for Pink Mountaintops, which is his solo expected, I suppose, and it's not a bad thing. material with some or all of the members of In fact, there's more musical experimentation redeemed by the time we get to song two. Odelay with Psycho Candy, and you have JWAB/Black Mountain backing him up. with Axis of Evol than with Black Mountain "Cold Criminals" is pure Loaded-era Velvet "Lord, Let Us Shine." It's catchy and fun, and Got that? Me neither. Fortunately, both or Jerk With a Bomb, and it turned out pretty Underground with a touch of early Rolling it seems that Pink Mountaintops are moving Black Mountain and -Jerk With A Bomb rocked. well. Stones for good measure. And it's awesome. away from straight-up rock and roll. It works, As did Pink Mountaintops' first album. So to The album opener, "Comas," is all Lou Reed. "Slaves" sounds like it was cut from the Black although hearing McBean use "la la la" in a continue the tradition of rocking, McBean is It's minimal and haunting and, admittedly, Mountain album, and at 8:48, it's far too long. song over an electronic drumbeat takes some about to release another Pink Mountaintops kind of a slow opener. However, this is A minor misstep, but if it didn't have a hint of getting used to. psych-rock it wouldn't be Pink Mountaintops. Axis of Evol is definitely classic Pink I won't talk about all the songs, though I Mountaintops (and Black Mountain, and...you In defense of "dirty" words could, because they're all worth talking about, get the idea), and Stephen McBean, despite and there are only seven of them. But the his side projects and solo projects, manages asterisks and no one complained; yet readers rest of the album really is worth discovering. to release consistently good records. One last Stephanie Oliver were essentially doing the same thing. "Lord, Let Us Shine" is one such song. It's the note: look at the cover of Axis of Evol. Now The Xaverian Weekly It seems like the argument still stands only song on the album that is far removed look at the cover of Stephen Malkmus' Face (St. Francis Xavier University) today. But who defines whether or not we've from McBean's other work. I had to listen to the Truth. Repeat. Yes, they're remarkably stepped over the limit? Where do you draw it twice to decide what I thought about it. With similar (in a good way, of course. They're both ANTIGONISH, N.S. (CUP) - "Teenagers the line? Why? Collier's supporters shaped its drum loop, it sounds like a Beck-esque cute). Axis of Evol is a solid follow-up to Pink need to stop their use of bad language. The the 19th century - do we really want a return Jesus And Maiy Chain. Yes, it's true. Cross Mountaintops, well worth checking out. youth of today need to wipe their potty to repressed Victorian values? mouths clean of their dirty words." There was even more sexual innuendo in BUY TICkriTS h'ARL I wrote this as part of a speech in high school Victorian literature because society mounted and believed it. If the speech made it all the a moral high-horse, forcing writers to mask way to an international competition, clearly their messages with metaphors. Shouldn't a lot of people agreed there's a problem with we be deconstructing socially-constructed culture and "dirt}'" words ... but not how you boundaries of between "clean" and "dirty" might think. rather than reinforcing them? Higher Some believe student newspapers have a learning does not have to be synonymous problem with using vulgar and inappropriate with hierarchal language. Champions ofthe Game language and sexual innuendo. Some While some argue articles go downhill question how students can gain higher as a result of this language and content, Past. Present. Future. learning when we use this language and Canadian University Press thinks otherwise. address these topics. I realized it was in fact Each week, a handful of stories from the 70+ my own higher learning at university that member papers are edited and added to the changed my attitude towards the problematic CUP wire for possible publication across the nature of culture and "dirty" words. country. Recently, an article on chicken and Oval X-Treme As a fourth-year English Honours student, porn' was chosen for editing. you get used to addressing sex and sexuality Besides porn, some of the recently selected pretty quickly. You define "fucking post'' Culture articles cover slash fan fiction, gay on exams and get used to saying "cunt" cowboy cliches, and single life. Most include at 8:15. Eighteenth-century literature is "offensive" language or sexual innuendo lor actually dubbed the "soft porn" course. the purpose of making a particular point Professors encourage you to overcome moral (often tongue-in-cheek) about culture's classifications of words as being "dirty" conception of an undeniably dominant social and get used to acknowledging phallic and force we can't ignore. Special Cues! Havlev Wickenheiser vaginal imagery in texts. You study "dirty" Some saj the 'chicken and porn' article words and sexual innuendo, but as critical advocates degradation of women with Game 3 - Brooks Game 4 - Warner thinkers, you study it in relation to form and its filthy language and content, but this Date: Saturday, March 25, 2006 at 7pm Gate: Sunday, March 26, 2006 at 7pm content. Word choice is not unnecessary or exemplifies how isolating the negative only location: L«k*es4d^l«>»sun*CtM«rit>(BrtK4cs) Location: Warner Arena (Warner) accidental, but deliberately chosen in order detracts from the overall message. The fichrtsz $ I tl now available at Ufatsfefe Tickets; $10, now available al Warner to reinforce a point. author tries to understand how men justify leisure GnHre -(111 - 4th Avenue Foods (Warneri, Tees & Jeans (Milk The Collier Controversy covered in 18th- this activity. She makes her point through West Brook**. Moo. - Thu.. 8aro lo River* anil Bert & Mac's Source century literature shows how the same humor to show how the concept seems "Jom: Fti - Bam to 8pm; Sat. and for Sports {Lelhbridge}. argument against language and innuendo was too ridiculous to take seriously, yet it is by Son - Bam toTo m being made hundreds of years ago. In A Short men. Suggesting it is wrong to write this Atfjwoc»«fc (mm* fhrs gam? gn fo Brink* At proceeds from this event go lo Warmer View of the Immorality and Profane-ness of reinforces the veiy double standard she tries \9mmt fforitey and lo Bronts & District Atnktre tetrtm the English Stage, Bishop Jeremy Collier to deconstruct. Like the Collier Controversy, Victims* Assistance Association. lobbies to end all plays containing double moral judgment only misses the ironic point for mote information, call 40 J.22B.6688 or visit wwwjMUleottlwlxjrderxa entendre, profanity and sexual innu-endo for and limits the mind rather than opening it to fear of making women uncomfortable and complex social messages. teaching immorality. He misses the ironic Acceptance from the oldest student news O. Jf-TTOrW QUKN FOR THE MY messages, and calls for plays to only explore service in the world and the stylistic support of obvious moral messages. literary history proves our paper successfully Hey prfc* how wouM you lifcr tu meet the t arguy Oval X-Treme team* Eighteenth-century writers from William makes a point through its deliberate choices Meet you* hero*'* tor kinch and travel lo ihe game on iheir IRIS, Hang out in their dressing room, Congreve to Henry Fielding rebuke the idea. in uniting form and content. tdktyj t#w ptutd. lor the ceremonial lace-on and catch the event with three friends behind the Oval \ SrawM* bench For mote information visit vvvvvvlMttieoUhetKHtlef.ca/X TremeQueerv They demonstrate how cultural subjects I think most of us have grown up since recognize double entendres and partake in our high school days; maybe we all should. the very sexual acts they protect their ears We shouldn't deny our "dirty" culture, but against. In Tristram Shandy, Laurence embrace it for analysis. In the meantime, ENCANA. Sterne writes words like c*** to demonstrate I'll tell Canadian University Press and my that readers fill in the blanks no matter what professors to clean up their act. their moral status. Last year's Xaverian used Can you read between the lines? 5DESTI0N OF THE WEEK IP YOU WERE TIME-TRAVELING, WHAT TWO THINGS WOULD YOU TAKE WITH YOU?

Horoscopes - Grand Wizard of Cthulhu Drarreg-Fto

ARIES - Blasphemer! Don't speak to others about religion this week. It will lead to bad things. Like six-headed-fire-breathing-dragon-bad. On the lighter side, expect to have no arguments about taith this week. So long as you do as you are told. Your lucky supernatural creature is the "BUG SPRAY AND IIP BALM" vampire. Stay up all night drinking blood and having unprotected sex? How can you go wrong!

BRYAN, TAURUS - Occultist! Don't consult the dark arts tor advice this week. No 1ST YR NEW MEDIA. Ouija board, no tarot cards, no reading horoscopes. Nothing! It you do any of these expect a visit trom the 'paranoid catatonic fit' fairy. On the lighter side you will get some sick time if this happens in public. Your lucky supernatural creature is the werewolf. Imagine the body hair of "MP3 PLAYER AND BOXER BRIEFS" Robin Williams on Charles Manson - then you have yourself a werewolf.

GEMINI - Sexist! Your sexism will bite you in the bottom this week. A prejudice you have of the opposite gender will smash you in the back of the head with a slab of meat before stealing your gold pieces and ROB, fleeing the scene. Your lucky supernatural creature is the mummy. An 4THYRMGMT old dead guy who is covered in toilet paper? What is the worst that could happen!

CANCER - Racist! How can you hate their kind? Honestly. It really does COMB AND HMRSPRAY" disgust everyone around you. I mean, they may be green and evil but that doesn't give you the right to attack them on sight. It will get you in trouble unless you learn to control you racial hatred. Your lucky supernatural creature is the jabberwocky. The words to describe it are DUSTIN, gibberish so just use your imagination to picture the worst thing you can; 3RDYRENG the jabberwocky is worse than that. LEO - Monster! You have to stop your shenanigans! You make everyone around you sick with your excesses. Expect a trip down memory lane "SOAP AND MY CAMERA* if you continue your path to self-destruction. You have no chance to survive so make your time. HA-HA-HA. All your base are belong to us. Your lucky supernatural creature is the dragon. It's a bird, it's a plane... it's a giant fire-breathing lizard with an appetite for virgins. I guess everybody but Virgo is safe!

BONNIE, VIRGO-Prude! Don't be so uptight this week. Honestly. It annoys 3NDYRBI0 people. Just cut loose, footloose. Maybe have some fun. Hang out with some friends! Go for a night out! Order some pizza! Buy a different kind of juice for lunch. Whatever it is get out of your routine and live a little. Might be fun! Your lucky supernatural creature is the ghost. Who A P jtuLnjJNL) AIM JL) DUMJCJ rXJVU are YOU going to call? LIBRA - Simpleton! You have pursued balance in your life and look around you. Go on, look! Where are you? If you are anywhere but a military prison then you are doing great and keep on going! If you are HEATHER, in a military prison then straighten up! Your lucky supernatural monster is 2ND YR BIO the zombie. Name is Ash, house-wares. SCORPIO - Villain! Your poison seeps deep this week. So strike and then watch everything fall to ruin for those who call you their foe. For those "DIGITAL CAMERA AND A IS GAUGE who dare oppose the chosen of the great Sahara will be swallowed up by the scurrying horde. Beware! Your lucky supernatural creature is the SHOTGUN" unicorn. I am sure it wasn't a horse; I was only drunk at night wandering through the forest alone.

BEN, SAGITTARIUS - Bandit! You have a chance to redeem your evil actions and embrace life and love this week. Throw down your old ways; take 1STYRBI0CHEM destiny by the hand and live! You haven't a thing to fear. Except for the eternal night. Your lucky supernatural creature is the succubus: helping lonely monks get booty for over 566 years!

CAPRICORN - Rapscallion! You haven't got your boots on correctly "MY HUSBAND AND MY BIBLE" today. I am afraid to tell you so check your laces right now. No really, check them. Retie them if you have too, because you could get them caught in an elevator or something. Your lucky supernatural creature is a nymph. They are prettier than thirty maidens and one male put together!

JENNA, AQUARIUS-Fiend! You know what? If you play Pink Floyd's The Wall 3RD YB MATH ED album while watching the movie 'The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari' the music lines up perfectly with the movie? I just thought you should know that. So what are you waiting for? Go try it. Your lucky supernatural creature is the doppelganger. I am not responsible for what happened, "A CAMERA AND MY DOG" it was probably a doppelganger. PISCES - Thief! You should consider a change of pace this week. Don't attempt the legendary dance of Lua-Ehuk unless properly instructed. Maybe just settle for a Rocky Horror Picture Show night. It would be fun: just relax and enjoy it. It has a message, I am sure of it. I just can't figure MATT, it out. Your lucky supernatural creature is the kraken: demon of the 1ST YR PHYSICS depths, claimer of ships, and devourer of sailors. 18 www.themeliorist.com • March 9, 2006

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> r>*,t* Saturday, April 1, 2006 rime- 9:00 AM -9:00 PM UJ i of ^rion Anderson Hall, University of Lethbrige 4401 University Drive West Letbhridge, Alberta, Canada Aflmiccion: $2.00 Oil FRBE with Non-perishable food item ftm for the Campus Food Bank m I '

mmW ( eAW*A ) March 15 Out W*=r>si*f www.rtlsrf1kaze.org o\ f>£ $fJz$ffxkri2EM& l 9:00 am • 3:00 pm llf.ctqietrcsr Online for Magic: The Gathering Tournament 1 Cosplay (Costume Play) Contest U of L Atrium, Level 8 U Hall o Whnr ie Ariirnc- / Anlme (ann-ee-may) Is more than Pokemon, o Dragon Ball and Sailor Moon. Unlike North American animation, anime la known for Its unique style of art and story telling. 0 Meet a raptor Anlme should be considered a medium with |MM Win cool swag many genres presented inside of ft. Learn from expert speakers You can have romance, action, science-fiction, m Connect with potential employers children's stories and so much more, See what lives in a drop of pond water n \\ n-f i§ Ni$H0(az£7 Nlshlkaze means "West Wind" in Japanese; Take a nature hike, and much more! a fitting name for Southern Alberta. 3S Wa art a festival to promote anlme ft to raise O For more info, piease contact be.awareuleth.ca donations for the Campus Food Bank! http://ulethbeaware.blogspot. com/ U •r.aois fc %1'pfMWNfft m ®*sm

Lethbridge Exhibition Grounds MJM FACTORS West Pavilion 3401 Parkside Dr. S OUTLET * Hipsters * Low Rise JEAN SALE * Flare - 3 days only! -* Boot Cut * Classic Fit Marcri 10 - 10am to 9pm * Outdoor March 11 - 10am to 6pm March 12 - 10am to 5pm Pants

1000's of Brand Name Jeans at Factory Direct Prices ALL JEANS & PANTS $5 TO $39.99 19 The Trades that Sports Make Sense for Canadian Teams Klassen Continues to Shock and Amaze: By AJ Struyk Meliorist Contributor Canada's top speed skater is still feeling the effects On the day this paper comes out, of a record-breaking performance. the NHL trade deadline will have come. For the sports-knowledge By Ainsley Doty 2006 Olympics" after the Closing Ceremonies, lacking fan, that is the last day for Klassen received an NHL teams to make trades for other Sports Editor her stellar speed players. This is where pretenders skating performances endorsement offer from try to emerge from the contenders. The 2006 Torino Olympics were in Torino last month. MTS Communications It allows teams to clear salary cap truly ground breaking for team Her total collection of worth over a million room, and for teams to try and jump Canada and its supporters. With six Olympic metals dollars. into or out ofthe playoff race. stellar efforts and performances over two games (five In agreeing to represent Florida trades Oli Jokinen to from all of our athletes, the event in 2006, and one MTS in a variety of the Calgary Flames for Matthew was filled with gut wrenching and in 2002 Salt Lake marketing campaigns, as Lombardi and a 2006 first round heart touching moments that shall City) surpassed the well as participating in pick: never be forgotten. Canada brought previous record for various events, Klassen has This trade makes sense only if home a record-breaking 24 medals, the most metals won earned herself "financial Calgary can resign Jokinen at the support" (as described end ofthe season. Jokinen, a gifted which is a total of seven more then by an Olympic speed by MTS Communications player, would spark an anaemic the last record, which was set in Salt skater. The record offensive team in Calgary. He Lake City in 2002. This fantastic was previously held representatives) as well would bring out the best in Jarome number was heavily contributed by Russian Lidiya as unlimited access to Iginla, and whatever is left in Tony to by Canada's top woman speed Skoblikova, who carrying our country's flag. all services and products Amonte. skater Cindy Klassen. Klassen, who won four gold medals in the 1965 Along with winning gold in the provided by the company. Florida gets Lombardi, a talented experienced unbelievable success Innbbruck Olympics. 1500 metre, silvers in the 1000 With the World Cup of Speed young player, and draft picks. Plus, at this year's Olympic Games, has Klassen was named Canada's flag metre and team pursuit, and bronze Skating on the Horizon, Klassen it allows them to save money to try continued to feel the effects of her bearer at the Closing Ceremonies, in the 5000 and 3000 metre races, is sure to continue with her trend and resign Roberto Luongo at the victory now that she has returned joining a list of prestigious athletes end ofthe season. Klassen had also been named the of victory and success. She will home to Manitoba. such as Jaime Sale and David Edmonton trades a second or Canadian Press Female Athlete of remain a fantastic example of young third round pick to Phoenix for Members of the International Pelletier, Christina Le May Doan, the year (2005). But the recognition Canadian athleticism and is a living Goaltender Curtis Joseph: Olympics Committee have dubbed and Myrium Bedard who have all has not stopped there for this proud testimony to the places it can take Joseph can play well with talented Cindy Klassen the "woman of the shared in the honor of proudly Canadian athlete. Just one day after you. defensemen in front of him, like Edmonton has. Joseph probably has one to two seasons left in him anyway, and is a free agent at the end of the season. Edmonton is a Sorting out the labour mess competitive goalie, I think, away league in North America. The players get somewhere around when it could have been heightened from a good playoff run. The problem is that it has become 56 per cent of league revenue as it to $102 million. Phoenix clears space and allows star too good. relates to them. That is, the revenue What does that all mean? young goaltender David Leneveu to By AJ Struyk The NFL's Collective Bargaining from the league television contract Teams now have to cut many, many play. Leneveu is considered a 'can't Meliorist Contributor miss' prospect for the Coyotes and Agreement expires in two years. and other sources of income players to get under the salary cap, Wayne Gretzky. However, the NFL's Salary Cap (jerseys, hats, etc.). But the players or else face the prospect of losing Vancouver trades a second/third Agreement between the Players want 60 per cent of total revenue; draft picks and future NFL stars. round pick to Phoenix for Goaltender Everyone is still tired ofthe labour and the Owners expires after next this includes each team's OWNER'S If the salary cap is abolished, Curtis Joseph: dispute of the NHL and never season. If it is allowed to expire, revenue, which in other words, is then all the bad aspects of baseball Yeah, I know I said he should go to wants to hear the term Collective the league will lose its Cap system. your boss' money. will now come into effect. What Edmonton, but he could equally fit Bargaining Agreement again. But The Players have said that they will Owners are willing to give 56 per if the team you absolutely hated the bill in Vancouver too. Vancouver now there is a new crisis emerging: never play under a cap system again cent of "designated gross revenues" had no rules on which players they needs a goalie to carry them to the the NFL CBA. if the agreement expires. but believe the players are not could sign? Every player would be playoffs, where Dan Cloutier may The NFL is a money-making drastically overpaid, more so than be ready to come back. If he can't That would mean that the NFL entitled to new revenue streams machine. Period. The NFL makes would go away for long time. A from stadiums. Basically, they want they already are. Joseph can try and carry Vancouver more money in its TV ads than the somewhere, but it probably won't REALLY long time. You think the current system to continue. CBA talks in any sport are dark and happen. Whoever offers a better NHL does all season. It has a proper the NHL was bad? How about The failure to lengthen the current gloomy, but if the NFL undergoes an draft pick out of Edmonton and revenue-sharing system, a team cap, a disagreement over five to six deal means that the Salary Cap will "NHL effect," the league may never Vancouver wins Joseph. and is the ultimate ideal for every BILLION dollars? be heightened to $94.5 million, recover. Toronto deals Bryan McCabe to Carolina for Nate Hagemo and a 2006 first-rounder: The Leafs aren't likely to make the playoffs this season. Everyone knows this. But here's a trick: instead of trading what little minor Sorry Mister Nash league talent you have left to get By Kris Kantrud shaggy floor leader had last older players, do the opposite! McCabe is a free agent who wants to Contributor campaign is actually being eclipsed test free agency; Carolina needs an at present. He is steadily erasing aggressive player who can anchor any notion that it was all just a the power play...you do the math. Somebody owes Mr. Nash an fluke. Nash started at the All-Star Hagemo is undersized, but will apology, and they know who they game in Houston, the Suns are help the Leafs in the same way that are. headed for the playoffs as an elite Darcy Tucker has - only Hagemo They are the haters that last season team, and a second straight Most doesn't suck. A first-round pick can said the no defence, 'right place at the Valuable Player award seems more always help too. right time' point guard was fortunate likely with every double double and Buffalo deals Martin Bironto enough, or just plain lucky, to have tally in the win column. Edmonton for Steve Staios: the career season that followed. He Do not expect that the hardwood This deal only works if Edmonton does not get Joseph. Staios helps signed to a team with a boatload of warrior will lay off and become Buffalo immediately with grit and the most athletic, offensive minded complacent with his success, skill on defence, where the Sabres players around that provided ample though. He becomes smarter with are somewhat lacking. Biron is a opportunities for high scores, easy every game while the players and good number one goalie that can assists and runaway victories. personnel around him keep learning give stability to Edmonton. My only They are doubters that said this more and more about where to problem is that Biron wants the season Mr. Nash would be exposed be and how to react, to what the number one job, and Edmonton as the fraud of a reigning MVP that right move to make is in any given has three young goaltenders with situation. Nash is definitely a the same aspiration. Still, it could he is. After Amare went under a great deal... the knife, Joe Johnson packed for contender for this year's award, and Atlanta, and the Phoenix Suns re­ Mr. Nash will not be satisfied until New York Islanders deal Mark "Wait a minute. You're the one four teams in the league with forty Parrish to Edmonton for Brad stocked with unproven youngsters the title of contender transforms Winchester and 2006 fourth- and past their prime journeyman that said Steve Nash was the most wins at this point in the season. into champion. rounder: that were surely incapable of carrying ridiculous MVP in years. You were Picture their faces when they stare Even though today's greatest Parrish has, well, perished in Long on the highest scoring ball club in a sure Stevie was going to breakdown at the numbers Mr. Nash has been playmaker probably paid little Island and a change of scenery would decade. Nash was sure to fall flat on physically and his run and gun putting up which are actually better attention to the critics that made be good. Parrish will help spark his face. It would be a struggle for style would be revealed as just a than last years. Think how much disparaging remarks about his former team mate Mike Peca on Mr. Nash to even keep the Suns in Hash in the pan fad that everyone they would love to have Canada's game, it is in his always 'seemingly the second line, or keep the scoring the hunt tor a playoff spot. expected." finest sworn in as a Yankee so he underdog' nature to make the haters pace of Ryan Smyth nice and high. The voices of the cynical are Imagine how these haters feel could be placed on Team USA to eat their words and reluctantly Winchester is good, but he won't be today when they look at the ensure another bronze medal is not utter "1 am sorry Mr. Nash, 1 was as good as Parrish is now. The fourth now non-existent. They are now. round pick can be used a trade bait giving praise while secretly hoping, standings and see the Suns sitting brought home in 2008. wrong." later for the struggling Isles. wishing...praying that no one says atop their division and one ot only Yes, the phenomenal year the This is the undeniable Truth. 20 www.themeliorist.com • March 9, 2006 Will football players have to pay for their own Vanier Cup championship rings sighs McBride. the women's get fifty bucks knocked off of every "People just hockey team ring, I'm happy," says McBride. assume that to pay for He feels very confident that the By Adrian Ma those [ rings 1 their medals, Laurier community will respond The Cord Weekly are given to covering about and throw their support behind (Wilfrid Laurier University) you, or that, you "20 percent of their first Vanier Cup championship know, you don't / the cost." team in 15 years. The closeness of have to pay Rosehart says the student body is something that WATERLOO, ON. (CUP) -Laurier for them. But that so far a McBride says attracted the players football player Dan McBride has unfortunately representative to attend Laurier in the first place. had many great moments during we're in a of the football McBride is not expecting a handout his five years as a Golden Hawk, but situation where team has yet despite Wilfrid Laurier University winning the Vanier Cup this year we have to come to contact him benefiting immensely from the is one of those incredibly rare life- up with that directly. If they dizzying successes of their football defining moments. money." do, the Laurier team, McBride does not wish to The Golden Hawks battled it out For McBride, president single out the administration or the tirelessly on the gridiron to take money is hard will consider alumni for not aiding them. But home the Vanier Cup. Now that enough to come helping the McBride, who along with fifteen of the game is over, however, McBride by as it is. team out with his teammates will be graduating and his teammates find themselves "I paid my own their costs. this year, feels that he is a part of in a surprising new fight - to raise way through "We couldn't something special, a part of histoiy. enough money to purchase Vanier school for five years, and I had to concedes that what it comes down purchase them (the rings) outright, As the former fullback returns Cup championship rings. wait for OSAP to come just to pay for to is money. but we'd contribute," says Rosehart. to the fundraising table in the With no financial support coming the deposit for the ring," he says. "There's basically no loose money WLUSU president Dan Robert ran Concourse, where the Vanier from the school or the students' Head coach Gary Jeffries says around," says Rosehart. He points intosimilarproblemsas Dr. Rosehart Cup is sitting flanked by posters union, the championship football that there is "no question" his team out that for the administration to when Dan McBride approached him advertising their last-ditch effort, team now has to fundraise to collect deserves to receive their rings. But provide financial assistance for for financial assistance. Robert says he stops briefly to watch a television their prizes. he understands that the university things like championship rings, that WLUSU can't "play favourites" that is playing a video of his final "We were let down for sure," says has little financial room to work other school-supported initiatives between student groups on campus, football game. There is no question McBride. "Everyone's obviously a with for things of this nature. like the Global Youth Network, but decided that instead of directly what this ring means to McBride little disappointed. We put in such "Of course it would be wonderful if which helps to send students funding the players, WLUSU would and his teammates. help them develop methods to a time commitment." it could be taken care of, [but] you're abroad, will suffer. "Hell yeah, we're getting those fundraise. McBride is in the Concourse looking at a ticket of $6o,ooo," says "Which is more important," asks friggin' rings." handing out information about an Jeffries. Rosehart. "Giving thirty students By lending them the Turret and upcoming fundraising event. A Each championship ring costs a chance to travel or buying a few sponsoring the marketing materials, young lady passes by him, offering $810, and with the football team rings?" Robert hopes that the Vanier Cup words of support and assurance boasting a contingent of well over Supporting sports teams to pay champions can attract enough of her attendance. McBride says a hundred players and personnel, for championship tokens is not people to the event to cover a students are shocked that their it seems unlikely that the Laurier something alien to the school significant amount of their costs. football team has to pay for their administration would be willing to however; president Rosehart reveals "We're doing everything in our own rings. meet such a heavy price tag. that he and Dean McMurrary power to make this work, and you "Everybody is just in disbelief," WLU president Bob Rosehart recently donated a fair amount to know what, if we make enough to

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'l I •' -lil'f I'lftPt 5St.S www.themeliorist.com • March 9, 2006 21 The Weekly Top 10: Most Overrated Athlete 'miracle save' against Dallas in the previous two World Series games. AJ Struyk '97 playoffs was only made because Carter was a nice guy and I respect he was four feet out of position. Cujo Meliorist Contributor him for the biggest hit of my has played on some good teams, but generation, but come on... either he costs his team a chance or One of my favourite things to do his team costs him. Call me when he 3. Anna Kournikova - Ok I am is to look at how much money really gets a ring as a starting net minder. going to take heat for this, but it is crappy players earn. Jalen Rose, true. She never won anything in her who really is not that bad, earns over 7. Dante Hall - I have never seen life in tennis. Yeah, she's hot guys, I $15 million dollars this season and someone who does one thing well get it. But on the court she sucked. $17 million in a year. Brian Cook, get so much recognition. Yes, he's Look at Maria Sharapova: she is... a forward in the NBA, last season gifted with speed. No, he is not a attractive...but she can win too. earned over $16 million dollars to good receiver. He is a good kick collect three points per game and returner, not a pro-bowl receiver. 2. Ben Roethlisberger - Big four rebounds. With that, I thought I despise this man and I thank God Ben just Plain Sucks. His throws about other athletes that maybe did the Dante Hall fad is going away. are garbage. He couldn't pass his not make a ton of money, but who way out of a wet paper bag. I don't are supremely overrated; players 6. Rasheed Wallace - Come on, understand how people think this who everyone thinks are good but an all-star? PLEASE. Wallace is guy is the real deal. I give him seven just lack true talent and skill. getting 15 points and six rebounds more seasons in the NFL before and two assists. This reflects on someone realizes he sucks. io. Robyn Regehr - Sorry Flames his team: they play well together tans, but he is not that great. He plays but suck individually. Wallace is 1. Michael Vick - This guy is in a very good defensive system that a mouth and his limited skills are garbage. Yeah, he can run. So can makes his look much better than he declining everyday. a running back. Ben Roethlisberger is. He should be best known as the could school this guy in a passing guy Calgary got for Theo Fleury and 5. Paul Henderson - Ok, yes contest. Vick is 'electrifying' not for his great ability. he scored the most famous goal in because when he is on the field, the Canadian hockey history. But does OTHER team always has a chance at 9. Allan Houston - A gifted three- anyone else remember anything else winning. point shooter, Allan could literally he did? I know sports well and I do nothing else. He signed a seven- can't remember whom he played for The only reason I did not have Big year, $98 million dollar contract a in the NHL. Or did he play in the Ben as number one is because Hines few years back, and did not play one NHL...oh wait, the Leafs had him. Ward and Antwaan Randal-El won full season in any year. He retired Sorry about that. him a Super Bowl ring this year. I because of foot problems without am sure I missed some people, but I completing the contract. 4. Joe Carter - Same thing as got the main ones. Don't be fooled above. He hit the most important by these guys - there are way better 8. Curtis Joseph - Look, no home run in World Series history, guys who are being paid way less to Ben Roethlisberger may have thrown his way to a Superbowl ring, but offence to Oilers fans, but his but that was his only hit in the play somewhere else. that doesn 't change the fact that he sucks.

THIS.? THATOHOHNS a break from classes week" or "Let's really irks me, like they're insulting but LuLu Lemon is awesome. to start with, but the craziness that go home and ask the folks for more my intelligence or something. Why is this time of year is contagious money week". can't people appreciate the humour • What the hell is the NFL thinking? to even the smallest basketball fan - the show is pure brilliance. The If they don't get a deal done, they (and I don't mean little people). Bill & Ted • The new SI swimsuit edition is out, writers are and were geniuses. might be the biggest collection of We'll have a full bracket run down Meliorist Contributors and all I can say is "Wowza!" They stupid bastards this side of Ottawa. next week, but my early number shouldn't call that a swimsuit edition • When is it too late to say you're one seeds are: UConn, Villanova, • Steve Nash is the MVP! though, they should call it the SI having breakfast? And lunch • Okay, I'll admit it: I'm starting to Memphis and either Duke or Illinois. Naked Girls edition. In one picture, includes any meal from noon till like curling. More and more, I find Duke lost twice this past • Seriously, how good are the Suns? the girl is holding the bottom of the three, right? Maybe we should stop myself tuned into the riveting sport. week and Redick looks very mortal. I can't put my finger on just one bikini by her toes, while lying on her trying to classify meals and just let I know it's sad. I will now impale reason why they win. For certain, stomach, with the top of the bikini them be. myself on this butter knife. • NHL trade deadline. Tough to Nash is a big contributor, but the lying right beside her. I've never read in the NHL financial landscape, Suns' system is tailor made for seen a girl wear a bikini like that, • Why do girls check out other girls? • I love seeing Duke lose. Yes, I'm but the Oilers need a goalie and the his skill set. I'm not even that big and ifyou know of anyone that has, Is it to figure out someway to make a Carolina Blue fan, so it is bred Flames need someone who can pass. of Phoenix fan, but I can't stop send that person my way. them ugly? Or are they just jealous? into my being; but I just hate the Can both survive without making a watching them. Maybe they are shopping for new cockiness of the Dukies and Coach move? Sure, but do they want too? • It bugs me when people say they clothes? I'll never understand it K. They just seem like asses. • I wonder how many people actually don't like Seinfeld. First of all, I'm though. used "Reading Week" for reading? I not even sure if someone can truly • I love March Madness. Granted, Feedback welcome at say we change the name to "We need say they don't like Seinfeld. But it • I know I've mentioned this before, I'm a fairly big college basketball fan thisthatandthehorns(5)hotmail.com.

26 Ave N. University of D A f*C [Dairy 1 Lethbridge r nuL Fall 2006 S SELF STORAGE a X ft Registration begins PLACE March 17th 18 Ave N. We Offer: 2315-38SLN Continuing Students have a three (3) -48 different sizes available day registration period in which they -Double security storage, must register ecurity lighted and fenced Wait listing information for critical heap upstairs storage Monitored security alarm courses is available in the Fall -Mailbox rented Timetable and Registration Guide -Moving help available -24 hour keypad, gate code Don't Throw it Away! Bring in Any Unused FOR REGISTRATION DATES entry on some storages Non-Perishable Food ItemsTo Help AND TO REGISTER for CLASSES: -Authorized UHAUL dealer Support TheLethbridge Food Bank Login to the Bridge at: https://www.uleth.ca/bridge CM ri Mmm Iteaas lafey (Click "Registration Dates" in J388Bk the Registration Menu) Suflttf* $18.00 .PTOggi (DMS22! 22 www.themeliorist.com • March 9, 2006

that is for sure! No sir! Also we can introduce new competitions! Like the boulder push, you are put on a mountainside with a boulder weighing several tones and must push it to the summit. If you run out of strength or get tired then the boulder crushes you, talk about tough By Garret Ford competition! Another new competition we Features Editor could have is squid wrestling, an athletes is grafted with gills and has to wrestle a giant squid into submission. All of these We have the Special Olympics and we sports and more will become standard on have the Olympics. One of my friends televisions around the world. the other day pointed out, why don't we It will usher in a new age of the Neo- have a Super Olympics? The only rule in human. These Neo-Humans are more these Olympics will be no normal humans. human than our own weak mewling kind. Blood doping, steroids, cocaine, and other These Neo-humans will be the kind that methamphetamines are all fair game. could power nuclear turbines by running Special surgeries on athlete's frail human inside of a giant hamster wheels. And as bodies to augment muscle growth? Go right such these ex-athletes will become an ahead! These athletes will be no mere men important part of our work force. Fed-Ex and women; no they will be able to bend deliverymen who run faster on foot than titanium bars with their biceps. Give them when their co-workers are they are driving great meals of beef and iron! Super Special their vans! Policemen who can snap a vitamins to make the athletes bones stronger spinal column with an open palm strike to than a carbon brick! These Olympics will the chest! Construction workers who put have discus tosses that will go for kilometers, concrete together like Lego bricks! The javelin throwing using pieces of railway track, future is coming, are you ready? and wrestling matches that result in death. I mean yes, we are a few decades The countries that want to participate in behind on cybernetics and bioengineering this competition of ultra-human feats can, but its nothing a little LSD can't fix. So those that want to stick to their sissy regular start expanding the minds of your local Olympics of mortals can. The rewards of this bioengineer by slipping LSD into their Olympics however will match the danger drinks. Soon enough we will have an entire and excitement. Instead of having regular new super race of humans capable of medals, these athletes will be rewarded with firing lasers from their eyes. Yes, I finally golden, silver and bronze exoskeletons to said it. I want to make a super race for replace their soft wet itchy skin. our super Olympics. Since regular people Replacing limps with cybernetic can't survive a sledgehammer to the neck replacements implants? Why not! After all or being impaled on a fencing epee. It will these super humans will become overlords, be like the anicent gladiator matches from ruling over the mundane masses with their right before the fall of Rome. Long life to god-like strength and speed. What politician our eternal empire that will never fall and could run against a person who can jog at will rule the earth until the sun grows to a a leisurely 86 km/hr? Not Stephen Harper cold core of burn out carbon.

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IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING DIFFERENT IT'S ABOUT MAKING A DIFFERENCE. COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT INNOVATION LEADERSHIP ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENT www.themeliorist.com • March 9, 2006 23 JOBS JOBS JOBS!!! Less than five weeks of classes left! start date! Employers most often Apr 14 and May 26) • Southwest Alberta Business - Communications Administrator So have you got that summer or come to campus to conduct their • Community Experience Development Centre, Pincher Creek (ASAP) full-time job lined up yet?! If not, interviews. You must register for Initiative - Centennial Project - Business Intern (Mar 24) • University of Lethbridge come in and see us! The Alberta job OCR in CES! (B610) You can view in Winnipeg; Social Marketing • Talisman Centre, Calgary - Sport - Groundsworker II (Mar 10) market has never been healthier! OCR opportunities and all other and Communications in Camp Instructor, Sport Camp • Foothills Home Services Ltd., positions we post on CES Jobs Montreal; Fundraising Research & Assistant, Sport Camp Coordinator Various locations in AB - Child Aid Career & Employment Services Online at www.workopolisCampus. Development Coordinator in St. (Mar 10) Services (June 30) (CES) is a student service office com. To find out more about which John's, NL (Mar 13) • Boys & Girls Club of Calgary • Agristar, Vauxhall - Agronomist dedicated to assisting you with your employers are participating in OCR. • Lucerne Foods Lethbridge Plant - Counsellors and Jr. Counsellors, (ASAP) Job Search and Career Planning. go to our website: www.uleth.ca/ -Field Assistant (Mar 10) Waterfront Counsellor (ASAP) • Wainwright Main Street Advisory We're within the Career Resources ross/ces and click on Spring 2006 On • Alberta Conservation Association, • Pinebrook Golf & Country Club, Board - Wainwright Main Street Centre in B610, along with the Campus Recruiting. Edmonton - Fisheries Technician (NE Calgary - Various positions (ASAP) Project Coordinator (Mar 13) two Cooperative Education and Alberta) (Mar 24) - Wynchemna, Calgary - Teach • Wells Fargo Auto Finance, Applied Studies programs. CRC Full-time OCR: (changes frequently!) • Canadian Wildlife Service English to ESL students (Apr 30) Edmonton - Credit Analysts (ASAP) office hours are nine-noon and 1- • IBM Canada. Calgary - Finance - Grassland Bird Surveys in • Bow Island Golf Club - Various • Claresholm & District Health 4 p.m. Monday-Friday. Whether & Accounting grads (Apr 2 to Southeastern Alberta (Mar 15) seasonal positions (Mar 15) Foundation - Foundation you'll be looking for a part-time or employer) • Parks Canada Agency, Banff, • CANNEX Contracting 2000 Inc., Coordinator (Mar 14) volunteer job while you're going to Radium, Jasper- Bilingual Lifeguards Southern Alberta - Labourers/Heavy • Federated Co-operativese school, or are graduating this spring Summer OCR: (changes frequently!) (Mar 31) Equipment Operators (Mar 31) Ltd., Various locations in Western and will need full-time employment, • Ace Vegetation, Nisku - Herbicide • Creston Valley Wildlife • Tim Horton's Children's Foundation Canada - Retail Department CES is here to help. Applicators/Crew Leaders Management Area - Park Naturalist Summer Camps, Kanaskis - Summer Manager Trainee (Food) and Retail - EXTENDED to March 15 - Wetland Interpreter (Mar 27) Camp positions (Apr 30) Office Manager/Accountant Be sure to come in to our office • City of Brooks - GIS/Engineering • Priddis Greens Golf & Country Trainee (ASAP) for updates - or go to our website: PART-TIME: Assistant (Mar 15) Club - Golf Course Maintenance • University of Lethbridge www.uleth.ca/ross/ces and click on • Foothills Home Services Ltd., • University of Lethbridge - Grounds (Aprl) - Purchasing Agent (Mar 10) Spring 2006 On-Campus Recruiting. Various locations in Southern AB Summer Staff (ASAP) • Camps Lohikan, Lake Greeley • Atco Midstream, Calgary- It outlines some employers who are - Child Aid Services (June 30) • Chinook Country Tourist and Cayuga, Pocono Mountains Financial Analyst in Training (Mar 10) recruiting ON CAMPUS (see OCR •Chinook Country Tourist Association, Lethbridge - PT Visitor in Pennsylvania - various summer • Champion Hay Processors, Olds info below), along with all of the Association, Lethbridge - Visitor Information Counselors (Apr 15) positions. (May 1) - Hay Buyer (Mar 14) upcoming events and opportunities. Information Counselors (Apr 15) • Federated Co-operatives Ltd., • Easter Seals Camp Horizon, • Efco Corp., Airdrie - AutoCAD • Boom! Marketing, Toronto, Various locations in Western Kananaskis Country - Summer Drafter (Apr 1) CES lobs Online!!! .with Montreal, Calgary & Vancouver Canada - Summer Employment Camps Staff (Mar 15) • University of Lethbridge WorkopolisCampus.com - Marketing Field Reps (Mar 25) Program (ASAP) • Apex Alarm, Chicago and Tampa Conference & Event Services • Part-time, summer, full-time, • University of Lethbridge Max Bell • Cargill Power & Gas Markets, - Sales Associates (Apr 15) - Technical Specialist I (Mar 17) international and volunteer! Aquatic Centre - Lifeguards (Mar Calgary - Risk Analyst Group (Mar • The Redcliff Museum - Seasonal • Westlink Innovation Network Ltd. You can check postings 24 10) 20) Interpreter/Archivist (Mar 20) - Technology Commercialization hours a day, seven days a • Oxford Seminars, Kingston, ON • University of Lethbridge • Northern Sunrise County, Peace Internship Program (ASAP) week, from the comfort of your - TESL/TESOL Instructors (ASAP) -Lifeguards (Mar 10) River-Seasonal employees (Mar 17) • Medicine Hat Co-op Ltd. - Office own home or elsewhere on • Oxford Seminars, Montreal, • United Farmers Historical Society, • CoolJobsCanada.com-various Manager (Accountant) (ASAP) campus. For more information Victoria, Vancouver, Calgary, Lethbridge - History Interpreter (Mar summer, seasonal and full-time • Allegis Group, Calgary or about workopolisCampus.com Edmonton, Toronto & Halifax-MCAT 24) positions Edmonton - Recruiter/Inside Sales and how to access the site, Instructors & Tutors (ASAP) • Agtech Centre, Lethbridge • Sundance Lodges Campground, (ASAP) come in to our office in B610. • Oxford Seminars. Vancouver & -Technical Assistants (Mar 15) Kananaskis Country - various • Rooftops Canada - Young Toronto - GMAT Instructors & Tutors • United Farmers Historical Society, seasonal positions (ASAP) Professional Intern Program in South Career Counselling!! (ASAP) Lethbridge - History Interpreter (Mar • Sunnyside Greenhouses, Calgary Africa, Cameroon, Tanzania, Egypt, Unsure about what you want to do • Intercare Corporate Group, 24) - various positions (ASAP) India or the Philippines (Apr 14) when you graduate? Questioning Calgary - Licensed Practical Nurses, • Lethbridge Regional Police Service • Kilmorey Lodge and Aspen Village • CANADEM, Various international if you're in the right program?? Registered Nurses (Mar 15) -Aboriginal Summer Development Inn, Waterton - various summer - Junior Professional Consultant Help is here! Come in and book • Southern Alberta Community Program (Apr 28) positions (ASAP) Program internships (ASAP) an appointment with a Career Living Association, Lethbridge - Host • Calgary Airport Authority • Brighfwood Ranch Camp, • porchlight.ca, Kitchener-Linux/ Counsellor! Families and Associate Families - Communications & Emergency Evansburg - Christian Summer Youth GNU Systems Administrator (May 1) (ASAP); Community Rehabilitation Planning Ass't, Safety Ass't, HR Camp Staff for Underprivileged Kids • CCS Income Trust - Financial Other services Include: Worker (May 30) Summer Student, Administrative (June 15) Process Analyst (Mar 24) • University and college calendars • Palliser Health Region, Brooks Ass't, Summer positions in Terminal • Northwest Territories Recreation • Husky Energy - Accounts Payable across Canada, some U.S. and - Licensed Practical Nurses (ASAP) Operations, Maintenance & & Parks Assoc, various communities Payment Processing Technician international calenders, employer • Independent Counselling Administration, Groundside - Pool and Waterfront Supervisors (Mar 15) information, hand-outs on Enterprises, Lethbridge - Relief Maintenance, Airfield and Mobile (Mar 31) • Canadian Natural Resources Ltd. - standardized testing (such as LSAT, positions in Lethbridge, Fort Facilities, Telecommunications, • AB Sustainable Resource Biology Intern Student; Reclamation MCAT, DAT, GRE), an array of career Macleod, Cowley, Blairmore and Network Operations, Airside Development, Various Locations in Intern Student (Mar 17) planning information, FOUR student Pincher Creek (ASAP) Operations, Springbank Airport, Alberta - Aboriginal Crew Members, • Grasslands Group: Brandt work stations are available for you • Coalhurst Pub & Diner, Coalhurst Systems Analysis, Airport I J. Second Year Crew Members (Apr. Tractor- Parts Person & Heavy Duty to conduct online job searches or to - Bartender/Waiter/Waitress (ASAP) Operational Systems, Technical 1/06) Mechanic (Edmonton); Territory find career planning information. • Town of Taber - Lifeguard/ Writer, Airport Stores, Airport • Exalta 21, Banff Guide Service Manager (Calgary); Branch • Get your resume and cover letter Instructor I (ASAP) Design Assistant, Land & Business - Japanese-Speaking Tour Guide Manager (Kamloops) (ASAP); critiqued - stop by the office to • Talisman Centre, Calgary Development (Mar 10 at noon) (ASAP) Apprentice Service Technician arrange a time. - Badminton Instructor (Mar 10) • YWCA Edmonton, YoWoChAs • Tree Planters - www.tree-planter, (Southern Alberta) (Mar 28) • Organizing employer information • tutor.com - Online tutor (June 30) Outdoor Education Centre, Fallis com • Grasslands Group: Doepker sessions and the annual Career Fair. • Canada Safeway, Lethbridge - Camp Positions (ASAP) • Federal Student Work Experience Industries, Annaheim, SK - Electrical Stop by B610 and talk to Pat, - various positions (ASAP) • ProAlarm, U.S. locations - Junior Program (FSWEP) is underway!!! jobs, Technician (ASAP) Diane or Cheryl about our • Saskatchewan Watershed Marketing Intern (June 1) gc.ca • Grasslands Group: Eastman Feeds, services. We're here to help you! Authority, Regina - Technical • Camp Mackinicholea, Barrhead Apply for specific positions or to Red Deer-Sales Associate (ASAP) Assistant/Part-time Nursery - Camp Counsellor (Mar 20) the general inventory. Come in to • Grasslands Group: Fertile EMPLOYER INFORMATION SESSIONS Technician (Summer) (Apr 5) • Neptune Technology Group, CES for more info on the following Valley Farms, Outlook, SK - Farm and BOOTHS! Employers come • Southern Alberta Community Grande Prairie - Water Meter programs, or go to the website Operations Manager (ASAP) to campus to tell you about their Living Assoc, Lethbridge Installers (ASAP) above. • Palliser Regional Municipal employment opportunities and - Community Rehabilitation Worker • Town of Taber - Bylaw Services - Municipal Planner (Mar provide info on their companies. I (ASAP) Enforcement Officers, Parks & FULL-TIME: (These are NOT PART 17) This is your chance to ask questions • Sunnyside Greenhouses, Calgary Recreation Laborers, Summer OF OCR! Access the postings at • Coape Staffing Network, and talk informally to recruiters. - various positions (ASAP) Games & Summer Programs www.workopoliscampus.com. See Edmonton - Office Administrator Check our website frequently for • Chinook Country Tourist Leaders, Road & Walks Laborers, beginning of this column about how and Intermediate Accountant (Apr new bookings! Please email us at Association, Lethbridge - Visitor Waste & Wastewater Utility Operator to register on the site.) 1) [email protected] and let us Information Counsellors (ASAP) (ASAP) • Moberly Hall Charter School, Fort • Soil Foodweb Canada, Vulcan know if you are planning to attend • Nurse Recruiters for US company • Summit Camp, Honesdale, McMurray - Classroom Teahcer - Soil Microbiology/Mircroecology so we can get a head count. (June 25/06) Pennsylvania - General Counsellors -Grade ECS/1 (Mar 15) Laboratory Technician (Apr 15) • Monday, March 13 - Canada • Canadian Mental Health (Mar 15) • Computer Horizons Canada • D-Wave, Vancouver - Scientific Safeway - Booth in Atrium Association, Lethbridge - • Paradise Canyon Golf Resort, -Technical Recruiter (Associate). Officer I - Intellectual Property (Mar • Tuesday, March 14 - First Line Community Crisis Bed Worker (ASAP Lethbridge - Guest Services (ASAP) (Mar 24) 15) Security and Technologies - Booth -Ongoing) • Town of Olds - Summer Parks Staff • Agricore United, Manning CPC, AB • Cintas, Calgary - Service Sales in Atrium 9-4 p.m. and Info Session • Convergys, Lethbridge - Customer (Mar 10) - Customer Service Representative Representative-Uniform, Assistant from 7-8:30 p.m. in D632. Service Associates and Technical • University of Lethbridge (Mar 17) Service Sales Representative- • Thursday, March 16 - Allegis Support Associates (ASAP) Maintenance - Painters, High Rise • Blood Tribe Child Protection Uniform, Customer Service Manager, Group - Booth in Atrium • Peak Vocational & Support Window Cleaners/Caulkers (ASAP) Services Corporation, Standoff Management Trainee, Sales • Thursday, March 23 - Hawaii Services, Lethbridge - Community • City of Fernie - Office Ass't, Survey -Case Worker (Mar 15) Associate, Sales Administrative Pacific University - Booth in Atrium Rehabilitation Aids (ASAP - ongoing) & Engineering Ass't, Parks & Facilities • Yellowhead County, Wildwood, Assistant, Service Manager (May 9) • Wednesday, March 29 - Certified Attendant (Mar 10) AB - Conservation & Vegetation • Eagle Lake Turf Farms Ltd., General Accountants of Alberta SUMMER 2006! (See also Summer • Rocky Mountain YMCA, Exshaw Management Coordinator (Mar 1 7) Strathmore - Admin/Accounting/ - Info Session from 4:30 - 7 pm. OCR positions further back in this - Cooks, Food Service Assistants • United Nations Association in Reception (Mar 15) • Wednesday, March 29 - column) (May 15) Canada - Junior Professional • Canadian Museum of Civilization 18th Air Defence. Info Session • Enmax, Calgary - Human • Waterton Natural History Consultant Programme. (Apr 14) Corporation, Gatineau, QB from 5-6:30 p.m. in C620. Resources Summer Student (Mar 15) Association - Interpreter/Sales • BC Geological Survey, throughout - Aboriginal Training Programme in • BC Geological Survey, throughout Associate (ASAP), Education BC - Senior Geological Assistants Museum Practices (Mar 15) (ASAP) Below is a listing of the jobs we BC - Junior Geological Field Coordinator (Apr. 15) • Inter-American Development have currently posted. Complete Assistants, Geological Office • Mountain Restaurant, Lake Louise • University of Lethbridge - Security Bank, Wash. DC - 2006 Junior descriptions can be found on Assistants (ASAP) - various seasonal positions (Apr 14) Officer (Mar 17); Buyer (Mar 17); Professional Program (Mar 15); workopolisCampus.com (you must • Kestrel Environmental Ltd., • Waterton Natural History Accounting Assistant (Research) Diversity Junior Professional come in and get the ACCESS Medicine Hat - Environmental Association - Education Coordinator (Mar 10) program for Afro-Descendants and CODE), or in the Job Binder in Sciences Season Field Assistant (Mar (Apr 15) • Newpark Canada Inc., AB & Indigenous Peoples (Mar 31) our office. DEADLINES are in 3D • Deep River Science Academy, BC - Reclamation Environmental • Southern Alberta Community brackets. ASAP means they • Alberta Public Service - Summer Pinawa, MB - Tutor/Research Supervisor (Mar 30) Living Assoc, Lethbridge - may hire the first qualified person Student Employment Registration Assistants; Residence Supervisor • Taking It Global, Toronto - Online Community Rehabilitation Worker I who applies - DON'T WAIT! Services at www.gov.ab.ca/jobs (Mar 26) Community Manager and (May 30); Host Family and Associate • Mayan Resorts Group, Mexico • TransAlta Reclamation Centre, Editor; Multi-lingual Platform and Family (ASAP) Partnerships Coordinator (Mar 20) QN-CAMPUS RECRUITING (OCR) - Internships in the hospitality near Lake Wabamun - Herbicide • Tansley Associates Environmental Applicators, Reclamation On-Campus Recruiting is the industry. (Mar 13) • IT Convergence, Madison, WI - Sciences, Calgary - Environmental Technician (Mar 17) process by which employers recruit Support Services Internship Program Field Consultant (May 15) • Town of Milk River - Pool Staff, students for full-time and summer • Town of Turner Valley - Various (ASAP) Swimming Head Life Guard (Mar 24) positions well in advance of the swimming pool positions (Mar 31, • Acrodex, Edmonton WWW.ULSU.CA

XECUTIVE COUNCIL

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Opens: Tuesday, March 14 @ 9 AM Closes: Friday, March 17 @ 4 PM

• t Till' CN/v/Ks/rv <)/• / /••miwiimL: • [/1 STUDENTS' UNION FOR MORE INFORMATION E-MAIL Rob Trinh at [email protected] or visit www.olsu.ca