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1 THE NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO ENGINEERING SOCIETY Volume 27 Issue 9 | Wednesday, July 5, 2006

PCP: Football How to catch Evolution under Hooliganism angels fire in Kansas

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Check us out @ http://iwarrior.uwaterloo.ca/ UW Mechs Take Home National Auto Research Prize Dave Mika the top prize of $4,500 dollars as well with their dedication to innovation and petition in Barrie with their work in 3A Mechatronics as widespread recognition from industry a passion for exploring ways to improve automotive seat design, further exempli- representatives. Dr. Frise commented existing technologies.” fying the high level of quality, creativity echanical Engineers from UW, led that “The University of Waterloo team A second UW team was also recog- and dedication that is continuing to be the Mby grad student Steve Samborsky impressed the international judging panel nized as semi-finalists during the com- calling card of UW engineers. recently secured top prize at the Honda Canada Highly Qualified People (HQP) Poster Competition held in Vancouver Harper Apologizes for Historic Head Tax at the AUTO21 Network of Centres of Excellence Scientific Conference. At an earlier HQP conference held during May of this year in Barrie, Ontario the Waterloo team, as well as a team from Windsor and a pair of teams from Queen’s were selected as finalists for the B.C. portion of the competition. In total, the competition saw 76 teams from 30 universities displaying their innovative research in auto-related fields including control and inspection systems, metallur- gical sciences and hybrid technologies. “These students are the future of Canada’s automotive industry,” said Dr. Peter Frise, AUTO21 Scientific Director and CEO. “Each one is a key contribu- tor to one of AUTO21’s research projects, gaining technical experience and an opportunity to work with some of the leading industry representatives in Canada. The high quality of the research on display made the judges’ job very difficult.” In total, over $20,000 dollars were handed out during the course of the competition with $10,000 split amongst the four finalists alone. Competition was stiff from the two Queen’s teams, whose projects centered on fuel cell and neuro- fuzzy inspection systems. Although both the Windsor and UW teams pre- sented work on regenerative braking "On behalf of the people and government of Canada, we offer a full apology to Chinese-Canadians for the head systems, the UW team managed to earn tax and express our deepest sorrow for the subsequent exclusion of Chinese immigrants." More on Page 7 UWaterloo in Collaboration with UAlbany NanoCollege Media Relations laboration will be highly beneficial to at the College of Nanoscale Science and built from single stands of carbon nano- University of Waterloo Waterloo because the College of Nanoscale Engineering.” tubes, or powerful drugs may be delivered Science and Engineering is the first col- The two institutions are planning to precisely to targeted areas in the body by iming to advance nanotechnology lege in the world devoted exclusively strengthen educational ties with under- means of customized carrier molecules. Aresearch across the borders, UW has to the development and deployment of graduate students in nanotechnology pro- The next generation of consumer products, reached a collaborative agreement with innovative nanoscience grams at UW and CNSE, from fridges to sports equipment, will the College of Nanoscale Science and concepts and its facili- along with graduate be made stronger, lighter and cheaper by Engineering (CNSE) of the University at ties are unparalleled in students having access incorporating nano-engineered materials. Albany-State University of New York. the academic world.” to top-level facilities at UW offers the only stand-alone under- Anthony Vannelli, associate dean “We are pleased “UW offers the only both campuses. graduate program in nanotechnology engi- of research and external partnerships in to engage in this new stand-alone under- Alain Francq, busi- neering in Canada. The multi-disciplinary UW’s faculty of engineering, and James partnership with the ness development officer program provides learning through 48 spe- Castracane, CNSE’s associate vice-presi- University of Waterloo, graduate program in for UW’s nanotechnol- cially designed science and engineering dent for science and technology, recently which is recognized nanotechnology engi- ogy program, said that courses for nanotechnology students, 29 signed the memorandum of agreement on internationally as a lead- UW and Canada’s comprehensive laboratories and 24 months nanotechnology. er in the emerging sci- neering in Canada.” Technology Triangle are of co-operative work experience. The agreement will allow for an ence of nanotechnology. fostering and seeking UW is building the $70-million exchange of information in nanotechnolo- Our collaborative work relationships and col- Quantum-Nano Centre to house the more gy, including technical, economic, educa- will foster new research laborations in nanotech- than 500 nanotechnology undergraduate tion and business. As well, it will identify that will be invaluable nology in the local area, students anticipated by 2010, an expected and enable the development of interna- to each institution,” said Castracane. “At as well as across Canada and around the enrolment of 125 nanotechnology graduate tional collaboration and partnerships. the same time, it will provide yet another world. “We look forward to the educational global alliance that will be beneficial to The next generation of electronic devic- Continued on page 2, see UW opportunities,” Vannelli said. “This col- the students, faculty and industrial partners es may contain smaller and faster circuits Wednesday, July 5, 2006 From the Desk of Your Iron Editor

The Official Newspaper of the University of Waterloo Engineering Society

Gabriel Chan Editor-In-Chief Editor-in-Chief Gabriel Chan f you missed the quarter-finals between IArgentina and Germany, you missed an Assistant Editor extremely exciting match, regardless of Candy Wong which side you are cheering for. And you missed the hosts fighting their way to the Layout Editors top—literally. A debate may be raised to Teri Leung allow hooligan culture to flourish among Hewett Sze fans or not, but hooliganism among par- Candy Wong ticipants are not to be tolerated. If the fans are able to restrain their emotions (and Copy Editor their fists), the players ought to do the Harout Manougian same. Being a sore loser makes you a big- ger loser in the end. Photo Editor In other exciting sports news, there Philip Newman will be lots of sporting fun hosted by EngSoc this weekend (Saturday, July Webmaster 8th): the Off-Road Classic bike race and James Schofield the golf tournament; read more about it in the EngNews section. And the Advertising Manager Waterloo regional dragonboat races are Peter Szabo happening again this year: the date and Taneem Talukdar location of the festival is next weekend (Saturday, July 15th) at the Laurel Creek Distribution Manager Conservation Area north of our campus. government); the same could be said for tion in platonic friendships or profes- Dan Arnott If you don’t know what dragonboat is, the Toronto Pride Parade a few weeks ago. sional relationships. Therefore, the issue think 500-metre mad dash on water with As always, dealing with LGBT issues are with the LGBT community is a non-issue 20 paddlers in a longboat. It’s actually very controversial in our time and it is itself.” Columnists quite exciting to watch. Dragonboat is good to see the discussions about GLOW, Anyway, remember that letters to Jenn Black a part of a Chinese festival called Duan pride, and other related stuff. I’ve heard the editor (or to the author) are always Dave Mika Wu (fifth day of the fifth month on the lots of different standpoints and they are welcome, further suggestions for your John Olaveson Lunar Calendar), which commemorates all quite interesting, especially this one: newspaper are definitely welcome, con- Faraz Syed the death of a poet who drowned himself “Quite frankly, the only major problem structive criticism is also welcome, and Edward Tan in protest to the corrupt imperial govern- with being not heterosexual (or the other any contributions to the Iron Warrior are ment. way around, depending on your datum) even more welcome. Be the change you Nobody died during the Sponsorship occurs in the bedroom. Typically, sexual want to see in the world. Contributors Scandal (if you don’t count the Liberal orientation should be irrelevant informa- Adam Neale Amanda Hoff Christopher Olekas UW Signs Nanotech Agreement with New York College Geoff Kooymans organized by the Consulate General of significant group of senior researchers Greg FitzGerald Continued from page 1 Canada in New York, involving more from various universities, institutes, pri- Jaisal Chauhan than 40 experts in nanotechnology from vate companies and funding organizations. Jeff Aho Ontario, Quebec, Alberta, New York, New It focused on three key areas of nanotech- Jen Carroll students and the growing number of fac- Jersey and Connecticut. nology: life sciences, advanced materials/ Kurt Kraler ulty members expert in nanotechnology. At the event, Vannelli and Castracane energy and photonics/electronics. Lily Shang The 225,000-square-foot advanced spoke on behalf of their organizations and Besides learning more about research Maria Arshad centre, which will accommodate the expressed their mutual commitment to activities at more than 34 institutions, Michael Simoes nanotechnology program and Waterloo’s bringing about real collaboration between participants discussed the different fund- Mayunthan Nithiyanantham Institute for Quantum Computing, will the two institutions. The experts also gath- ing sources, both public and private. They Scott Huber feature a tri-cluster laboratory focusing ered to learn about developments in nan- looked at the availability of funding for Tina Randall on nanofabrication, nanometrology and otechnology research, as well as fostering cross-border collaboration, including Timothy Li nanobiosystems. discussion and facilitating cross-border joint research activities, sub-contracting The Friendly Stranger UW and CNSE signed the collabo- collaboration in nanotechnology. research and commercialization assistance UW Media Relations rative agreement at a roundtable event The Consulate-led event attracted a for joint projects.

Offstream Editor-in-Chief Jaclyn Sharpe

The Iron Warrior is a forum for thought provoking and informative articles published by the Engineering Society. Views expressed in The Iron Warrior are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Engineering Society. The Iron Warrior encourages submissions from students, faculty and members of the university community. Submissions should reflect the concerns and intellectual standards of the university in general. The author's name and phone number should be included. All submissions, unless otherwise stated, become the property of The Iron Warrior, which reserves the right to refuse publication of material which it deems unsuitable. The Iron Warrior also reserves the right to edit grammar, spelling and text that do not meet university standards. Authors will be notified of any major changes that may be required. Mail should be addressed to The Iron Warrior, Engineering Society, CPH 1327, University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G1. Our phone number is (519) 888-4567 x2693. Our fax number is (519) 725-4872. E-mail can be sent to [email protected] Wednesday, July 5, 2005 EDITORIALS AND OPINIONS

still valid and factual? It seems to me that Misconceptions and your inherent homophobia got the best of Sensationalist jour- FEDS more to the story your writing and you resorted to writing a nalism not for IW poorly structured and researched article. Commentary: Kurt Kraler This was the perfect opportunity to raise Anonymous 1B Systems Design awareness about gay and lesbian issues Unknown and about myths that surround the commu- Service Re: PCP: Toronto Pride Parade nity. After all, that is the sole purpose of Re: Terrorists caught attempting to bomb gay pride events - to raise awareness, not Parliament Hill Review Dear Mr. Olaveson, controversy and prejudices. Next time, do your research before you write an article. Dear Editor, I feel compelled to write you a letter regarding your point made in the June 21, Sincerely, I was very offended by the sensationalist 2006 edition of the Iron Warrior regarding Kurt Kraler and inaccurate headline “Terrorists caught whether or not UW should march in the attempting to bomb Parliament Hill” that Jeff Aho Toronto Gay Pride Parade becase your appeared on the front page of the last Iron Feds Eng Councillor points were pathetic and very weak to Warrior. The headline as written implies say the least. If you had researched your Proud of UW’s that terrorists were actually caught in the ne Sunday afternoon on June 25, points before writing the article, you could Glowing Pride act of trying to bomb Parliament Hill. O when Frosh were enjoying the have made a compelling argument worthy More accurately, they were caught plotting sun and 4th years were weeping over of being printed but instead you wrote a Jeff Aho an attack against a number of potential tar- their upcoming 4th year projects, 4 piece that was filled with misconceptions Director of Diversity gets. The article correctly captures this, but engineering councillors were locked and mistruths. the headline is highly exaggerated. in the SLC MPR for 6 1/2 hours for Re: PCP: Toronto Pride Parade the student’s council meeting. When First of all, you state that “some partici- The Iron Warrior should focus on its dealing with artsies and mathies it pants do not conceal their genitalia”. This Dear Editor, mandate of being an engineering student can be expected to take a while to statement has very little substance in the newspaper. By this, its main goal should be get our point across, but this meeting way of an argument and is purely intended I am very pleased that the IW took on the covering local news relevant to the student was especially heated. The topic: The to shock and appall the reader into agree- debate of the recent Pride Toronto event. population or to the engineering profes- Service Review. ing with your counterpoint. I’m appalled I would like to take the opportunity to sion, and providing unique student insight For those unfamiliar, earlier this by the fact that you would even include address some of the comments made in and commentary on issues that might be year the Internal Administration this in your argument against GLOW par- the last issue. of a broader interest. The story about the Committee (IAC) put out a report ticipating in the Pride Parade. This only terrorism arrests serves neither of these with a few dozen recommendations represents a VERY small population and What the debate against came to was that purposes, and is nothing more than a re- about how to improve the services does not represent the gay community as some of the people at the parade are a little hash of weeks-old information that is read- that Feds offers. These ranged from a whole. I think you had too weak of an too exhibitionist. I would contend that the ily available in the main-stream media. If I the Food Bank, to the Legal Resource argument to begin with and had to resort to majority of the paraders are actually quite wanted to read about this, I would turn to Office, to the more contentious ones such a pathetic excuse for a point. appropriately clothed (as can be seen with the Globe and Mail. with GLOW and the Womyn’s Centre. the UW crowd - well... there is that one 5 hours into the Service recommenda- Secondly, you argue that “in a time when vagina costume). The media tends to focus Please, Iron Warrior, don’t try and compete tions debate we finally concluded. the school’s administration is attempting to on the more “in your face” paraders but against the big newspapers, and don’t stick Here are some highlights: boost Waterloo’s national and international really the majority are just like everyone a story like this as your lead on page one. *We now have a definition of a reputation, we don’t need to be known else. There is a wide range of people who Give me some interesting engineering-ori- Service (Yeah...we never had for our willingness to expose ourselves in represent countless backgrounds, and each ented news that I can’t find elsewhere, and one before) public”. Who said anything about GLOW expresses their individuality in a different I’ll read your paper. Otherwise, I’ll skip *We no longer have a Wellness exposing themselves at the Toronto Gay way. to the prof quotes and toss the rest in the Centre or Legal Resource Pride Parade? It is only the nudist popu- recycling bin. Office lation that expose themselves and what In response to UW focusing on the KW *GLOW is now mandated to run at does this have to do with our academic pride, in fact, GLOW did participate in least one event per term which reputation? The Toronto Gay Pride Parade Tri-Pride (www.tri-pride.ca) last month is geared toward reaching out is a very national and international event and GLOW has had a long history with Ol’ Blue is not a to all students and by having GLOW represent the gay the local community. This year is GLOW’s rice rocket *GLOW was NOT mandated to community of UW along their allies at the 35th anniversary and was the first such take on the task of engaging Parade shows the school’s diversity to an campus group in the country. All events Dan Arnott in dialogue with students who international community. that are run by GLOW are open to the 3A Environmental hold diverse views on perti- KW community and they play a leadership nent contentious issues Thirdly, if you had researched your article role, working with other organizations like Re: Automotive Review *The Womyn’s Centre will work to in advance to writing it, like any good WLU’s queer issues group. be more open and welcoming writer would do, you would have known Dear Editor, and have more professional that there was a gay pride event in the KW The LGBTQ community has a long way advertising and office envi- area on June 4, 2006 and GLOW was rep- to go to work towards equality. It is unfor- I am writing in response to my ‘Automotive ronment resented there. The organizer of the event tunate that homophobia, heterosexism and Review’ in the last issue of the Iron *The Womyn’s Centre’s name is one of the co-ordinators of GLOW. To general discrimination still takes place. Warrior. I unfortunately could not attach a will be changed to Women’s me this represents the gay community at EngSoc’s participation is a landmark in picture of Ol’ Blue at the time, but I have Centre UW fairly and boosts the reputation of the acceptance at UW and its support is greatly included one now. As can be seen in this *No one will be watching you like school. appreciated. UW Engineering is a leader in photo, Ol’ Blue does not have, has never a hawk when you try to get the academic community, but it can be a had, and never will have a spoiler. Thank food at the Food Bank and say Finally, the reason GLOW will be march- social leader as well. you. “Drop that spaghetti” if you ing in the Toronto Gay Pride Parade is take one too many to celebrate the 35th anniversary of the Jeff Aho Regards, It is worth noting that many of organziation as well as being one of the Director of Diversity Dan Arnott these will not go into effect until a longest running gay and lesbian university Feds General Meeting in the Fall. I organizations in Canada. GLOW’s repu- invite anyone with questions about tation earned itself a bursary from Pride the Service Review and what it means Toronto to fund the group’s march in the to email me ([email protected]) or parade. On a national level at least, UW’s any other of the engineering council- reputation is represented in a very positive lors. A special thanks to all those who light as well as its diverse and accepting gave us input before hand. It helped community. us to make the decisions that will ultimately change the services that So now, which points of your argument are Feds provides to all students.

How to Submit a The Letter to the Editor section will feature short blurbs on issues that the reader cares about. Letters are significantly shorter than articles (100-200 Letter to the Editor of words). Submit letters to iwarrior@engmail with subject line “Dear IW”. Wednesday, July 5, 2006 STUFF YOU SAY Harper Apologizes for Historic Head Tax need to pay a fee to apply to be a Canadian also the Exclusion Act. This act prevented citizen. In a way this is true, but the dif- Chinese workers from bringing their fami- ference is that today everyone has to pay lies to Canada. Then there was the outright the fee regardless of race, where as back ban of Chinese immigrants from 1923 to then only people of Chinese origin had to 1947. This resulted in the separation of Edward Tan pay the tax. many families for most of their lives. This 4A Computer For the last 20 years the Chinese com- is also why the Chinese community still munity has been seeking an apology from exhibits many first generation-immigrant ecently the Canadian government the government. The head tax itself isn’t characteristics despite having almost 150 Rofficially apologized to thousands of just a monetary issue, but had many other years of history in this country. Chinese immigrants who had to pay a head implications that the Chinese community So that was a brief summary of the tax during the early 20th century. Many felt were humiliating and even insulting. history. This is also why there is much people who were born here may take their From 1881 to 1885 thousands of Chinese more of an emphasis on an official apology rather than just a monetary compensation. citizenship for granted and may not even came to Canada to work on the railway. Head Tax Paper: $500 know what the head tax was. The head When the railway was completed, those In fact the Liberal government had previ- tax was a fee that Chinese immigrants had who wanted to stay then had to pay the head ously offered a monetary compensation Apology from Ottawa: priceless to pay to be a citizen from 1885 to 1923. tax, which was equivalent to two years sal- with no apology, but that was rejected. The the sincerity of an apology that was made as Some people may argue that a head tax ary at the time. official apology has been viewed as a good part of an election campaign promise, but I still exists today because immigrants still Along with the head tax, there was start in the right direction. I myself question also agree, it’s a good start. POINT VS. COUNTERPOINT Should Germany Crack Down on World Cup Hooliganism? be done. is maintaining our apathy. We are content Reactions to transgressions must be fast. not to live, but to simply exist. On the other Hooligans cannot be given any time to enjoy hand, the proud nations of the World Cup their crimes. Any positive reward for bad are a perfect example of passion. When behaviour must be denied. This means that World Cup time comes around, their entire John Olaveson police forces must be stationed along all Dan Arnott consciousness is centred around twenty- 4A Civil public corridors and at all public congre- 3A Environmental two players and one small round ball. They gations. If this means a few more police paint their faces. They wave flags and ban- must be hired, so be it. The cost of safety ners. They wear silly hats. They drink huge cannot be measured in euros. It can only be quantities of alcohol. Sometimes they get measured in that feeling of peace-of-mind naked and violent. This kind of joie-de-vivre engendered by a safe world. should serve as an example to us of what life JA! Now this might sound like martial law. NEIN! is really like. ooligans have been placed in a bad It isn’t. The most important difference is he World Cup comes but once every It is also important to remember that Hlight lately, and so they should! The that the “hooligan police” will not restrict Tfour years. It is a time when a multitude while diverse nations are engaged in hooli- hooligan problem won’t just go away if we any freedoms or enforce any extra laws of nations come together for a single pur- ganistic activities, at least they’re not fight- all ignore it. Action is needed to keep the while on duty. They will act just like cops pose. Although many of us think that pur- ing each other. They don’t focus their energy hooligans in check and on patrol. The next most pose is football (soccer on building weapons or keep our society safe. important difference is in North America), the training armies - they’re Its FIFA World Cup that the hooligan police real reason people come " Four years! That’s a too busy cheering, get- time. Germany has played "All hooligans need is will not be military per- together at the World long time to hold all of ting drunk, peeing on host to this great event a swift kick in the butt, sonnel. The last differ- Cup is to get drunk and trees, and things like that. and has taken a small step ence is that the hooligan party like hooligans. your hooliganistic ten- And sure, while the occa- towards stopping hooli- and some time in jail." police will throw candy This year, the World dencies inside. " sional scuffle may occur, ganism. A $4.6 million to the crowd (enough for Cup is being held in it’s all in good fun, and jail was built specifically everyone) immediately Germany. Being the tidy the lasting effects are a to hold hooligans. But after they arrest a hoo- and precise nation that it lot less than those of a will this jail be large enough to house all of ligan. This last policy will ensure that the is, Germany is taking a hard-line stance on nuclear war. the rioters and looters and vandals that will people are happy to see the police and will World-Cup hooliganism. They have actually Besides, this event only happens every emerge from the crowds of adoring fans? not resent or fear them (remember Yoda’s constructed a specially-designed ‘Hooligan four years. Four years! That’s a long time At the 1998 World Cup in France, a words). Jail’ to detain hooligans when they get too to hold all of your hooliganistic tendencies policeman was beaten to death by hooligans. Hooliganism can be stopped. All hoo- unruly. I say this is ridiculous! At the World inside. You’ve got to let them out some time. The Germans need to be ready to protect ligans need is a swift kick in the butt, and Cup, the hooligans should be allowed to So why not do it while the whole world their crime fighters and all of the citizens some time in jail. Who wants to miss their run free! is watching? At the World Cup, you are a attending the football festivities. One death, team’s next game because they got a little Think about it this way. We in North hooligan among hooligans. You have a safe nay one beating, is unacceptable. The “soc- over-excited and taped their flag to a wall? America live by-and-large dispassionate environment where you are free to be the cer hooligans” need to be taught that their No one, that’s who. lives. The only thing we’re passionate about hooligan you’ve always wanted to be, with actions are unforgivable. The World Cup only a slight risk of head injuries or alcohol is a time of unity between nations and hoo- poisoning. liganism merely serves to break down the Lastly, football is supposed to be fun. If bonds of peace in hatred and blood. you want a nice, quiet evening of subdued Every person in Germany has the right entertainment, go to the opera or something. to be safe. As soon as one hooligan acts But if you want to truly feel what it’s like to out, whatever the motive may be, that right be a part of a drunken, howling, strangely- is violated. Citizens will begin to fear what coloured mob, then go to a football game! might happen to them if their opponents win The players are enjoying themselves, why the next time. As Yoda once said, “Fear is shouldn’t you? the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, Germany is more than equipped to deal anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” Setzen dein Bild hier with the hooligan problem. However, they The cataclysm can be set off by a singe should ease up a little bit - the World Cup is spark. Hooliganism can escalate from an a hooligan’s time to shine. individual to a group to a nation. The only way to diffuse the situation is Editor’s Note: to crack down on hooliganism, no matter how innocent or serious it may seem at the The views and opinions expressed time. The hooligan jail is a good place to here do not necessarily reflect those start; it will get the offenders off the street of the authors, the Iron Warrior, or the and segregated from the innocent fans as Engineering Society. efficiently as possible. But more needs to Wednesday, July 5, 2005 STUFF YOU SAY The Modern Kulturkampf between Life and Death born premature at 24 weeks, is more of a human being then a baby still in the womb at 24 weeks. The only reason our birthrate is higher then our death rate is because of the Michael Simoes immigration of peoples who believe in 3A Chemical life. Islam, a religion under a lot of criticism, and a lot of scrutiny in this world iving in Canada, I live in a multicul- doesn’t believe in contraception or abor- Ltural society. Immigration is high, tion. Consequently, Muslims have many and so is cultural diversity. But our west- children. Christians around the world ern culture is one of death. The late Pope, should take note of this because it is our John Paul II repeatedly described society western society that causes the most harm overall as one that believes in death. For to life influencing other nations on their him, having grown up in Poland, during policies. Cardinal Pell, the Archbishop of the Nazi Holocaust, gave him a first hand Sydney, Australia, forsees in 20 years that experience of a culture of the west will become death. Coincidently, the mostly Muslim as current Pope, Benedict well if the trend of XVI also describes our low birthrates contin- society as one of death. " What makes me ues. In Kerala India, On the other hand, he laugh is that a baby, the birthrate among grew up in Germany dur- born premature at 24 Christians is at an all ing the Nazi Holocaust, time low. Cardinal and the actions of his own weeks, is more of a Varkey has said that if people gave him purpose human being then a the trend continues the as a priest in the Roman region will become Catholic Church, and that baby still in the womb mostly Muslim. is to stand up against evil at 24 weeks. " The one child pol- and tyranny. icy to control the pop- Contraception, the ulation in China has death of life from the caused serious damage first moment of concep- to the nation. When tion was the beginning of this culture of the one child policy becomes a one boy death. Pleasure is the ultimate goal of our policy (as girls aren’t highly favoured), society, no matter what the cost, even if serious social implications take place, it means not being open to life. When as we are seeing. Homosexuality, once contraception fails, panic ensues (as known as a psychological disorder, is now the commercial for “Plan B Emergency rampant, and the population control has Contraception” tells us) and instead of worked as there can be no life between accepting responsibility for our actions, two men. the next stage of the culture of death As science and technology increases occurs, and that is killing the life within, over time, our morals and ethics, decrease also known as abortion. over time. Just look at the culture of Currently, on average about 150,000 death, it started in the 60s and is now abortions occur in Canada each year, the culture of the West. When we make “In our times we need to say ‘no’ to the largely dominant culture of and is on the rise. In Canada, there are ourselves gods, the image of mankind is death... [There is] an anti-culture demonstrated by the flight to drugs, no laws that protect the unborn person. lost. Let us remember that we are created by the flight from reality, by illusions, by false happiness ... displayed in In the western world (Europe and North by God, in the image and likeness of Him. America), these rates are much higher. That is our roots and without these roots, sexuality which has become pure pleasure devoid of responsibility.” What makes me laugh is that a baby, we cannot grow. - Pope Benedict XVI, after abandoning his prepared sermon on 2006/1/8. CSE Review: First Year French Courses FR 1xx Calendar) at face value, as I did, you may So, do you want to take an easy course and FR 250A. be in for a surprise. Since I took French that counts as a List D CSE? Then Be aware, however, that you can only until Grade 11 in high school, I took FR take the course that the Undergraduate count one language course as a CSE. The 152, FR 192A and FR 192B. During the Calendar tells you to and don’t forget to reason I took three was because I had been three terms that I did this, although I learned bring in your Technical Ability form that planning on going on exchange this fall. Harout Manougian a lot of new French words, I did not learn says French is not your native language, Another reason you may want to consider 3A Electrical a single grammatical construction that I which you need for a CSE credit. If it is, taking more than one French course is if had not seen in high then try to hide your you take it as a sixth course during a term irst off, let me introduce you to the first school. Maybe my accent when you get that you are already scheduled for a CSE. Fyear French courses that are offered high school French your French professor That is, take an Arts course where you at UW. FR 151 is the most basic course, program was more to sign it. don’t expect to get a great mark (like most it’s antirequisite is Grade 11 high school advanced than oth- However, if you essay-writing English and History courses, French or any more advanced course. FR ers, but by Grade 11, " Be aware, however, are thinking of tak- or Larry Smith’s ECON 101 and 102) and 152 is for students who took French in I already knew about ing a French course take a French course on top of that. In Grade 11 but not Grade 12 or OAC. FR how direct object pro- that you can only count because you want to the beginning of your term, you need to 192A is for students who took French until nouns can add letters one language course as a go on exchange or let your Undergrad Office know that you Grade 12 or OAC or who have already to the participe passe CSE. The reason I took work in a country in want French to count in your average and taken FR 152. It is also the first course of avoir verbs. We La Francophonie, you the other CSE to count as DRNA (Degree available to students who have “advanced, had already learned three was because I had may want to con- Requirement, Not in Average). You can near-native or native ability in French.” about the plethora been planning on going sider taking a more then get the CSE credit for the other course However, you may not take this course of verb tenses that advanced course. If and get a high 80 or a 90 in French, which if you have taken FR 197, the first year include le plus-que- on exchange this fall. " you know the basics gets calculated into your average. French literature course. FR 192B is the parfait, le futur sim- of passe compose with The biggest advantage to French cours- last course in the set. Oddly enough, it ple, le conditionnel, etre, take FR 192A. es is that they are almost mathematical. has the same prerequisites as FR 192A, and le notorious sub- If you feel reasonably Every question on a test has a right answer. namely Grade 12 or OAC French or FR jonctif (and subjonctif comfortable using le That is, if you put all the right answers 152. All four courses are also available by passe). Of course I subjonctif, take FR down, you get 100%. This is not so for Distance Education. didn’t remember all the tiny rules or the 192B. You can then go on to take the sec- most other CSEs, which are usually more Now, if you just took this information forms of irregular verbs but after 3 terms ond year courses, FR 251 and FR 252, or subjectively marked and frustrate engi- (taken from the Undergraduate Course of French classes, it’s finally sinking in. enhance your spoken French with FR 203 neering students. Alors, vas-y. Wednesday, July 5, 2006 STUFF YOU SAY Top 5 Tips to Sell Yourself to Angels & VCapitalists that could potentially sell for 20 m in less for example: “I need 30 g so I and my than 5 years. Not our kind of game. buddy Joe can take our next coop term off So after you have changed your mind about Angels, on the other hand, have a much to finish the product development”. having no competitions, think about your lower cost for overhead, and do not man- product’s competitive advantage. Why age a lot of capital to start with. So if your 3. Revenue model would your customers pay for your prod- Timothy Li venture is looking for 20 g (thousand dol- uct but not similar ones? Whatâ€™s your 4A Computer lars) or 50 g to get started, try them first. There is no business unless you have a magic sauce? Last time I came across a Infusion Angels, based in Waterloo, revenue model. In simple terms, who has remarkable product from the food industry ot many people talk about VCs hosted a remarkable info session last money in their wallet and how do you plan was “we ship in NY tap water to Waterloo N(Venture Capitalists) and Angels month. The setup of the info session was to get that money into your wallet. Don’t and use it to make our pizza doe” around campus. When it comes to what brilliant - the host asked all participants to mistake an exit plan such as “Google will Infusion Angels is a brand new angel exactly they do and what differentiates sit in the board of investment advisories buy us” with a revenue model. “Google firm. They are very eager to take in 3 or 4 them from each other, any ideas? and evaluated 5 real product presentations will pay us 1 cent for every click through” ventures to its portfolio to start with. The Angels and VCs invest in early stage (including my own) together. Before the is a revenue model. But now you have to founder Gregory Brill expressed extremely startups. In simple terms, Angels are presentations took place, the host taught explain how you plan to generate billions high interests in student initiatives. This “smaller” - less organized and manage everyone 5 key figures an Angel firm of clicks. means all your brilliant FYDP (Fourth less money, at the same time they are would evaluate an idea on. Year Design Project) by the way... more approachable for a student. To put Ideas are ideas; investor won’t buy 4. Protection So if you’ve got a business idea, don’t things into numerical perspectives, VCs it until you put it into their vocabulary. hesitate to contact Greg by email (Google are generally not interested in investments These following five points are the real How do you stop others from copying “Gregory Brill” to reach his blog). On a fewer than 2 m (million dollars). It is very take away from this article. your idea and finish up before you do? second thought, do hesitate and practice expensive for them to manage an invest- Mentioning of a patent will sure impress your pitch against the five points above ment, so they are interested in a venture 1. Exit plan them. before sending that email. Or if you don’t feel very comfortable Investors want to hear how you plan 5. Competition with your idea just yet and simply want to make them richer, so tell them. Tell some comments, pitch me. I can’t help them how much you will sell the venture If you claim your product is one of a you to get rich, but I can lend an ear. for in 5 years. Of course you don’t know kind and has absolutely no competition Google “Timothy Li” to reach my blog. for sure, then do some anywhere in sight, an research and make it investor will probably up. Say your plan is to “mis-interpret” this as be acquired by Google - your product has no for 750 m (ha! What proven market value. a plan), make sure Either you are look- you back up this price ing too far ahead or with what Google has " Ideas are ideas; they don’t believe in acquired recently, or investor won’t buy it your revenue model. at least find out how Again, VCs and Angel much they bought until you put it into are looking for an exit Writely.com for. their vocabulary.. " in under 5 years. If you have a vision for 2. Capital allocation something that will make you billions in How much do you 2010, it sure is a good want from the Investor. idea, but they might You absolutely need to not be that interested. make this clear to them No harms in trying up front. What are you planning to do with though, something like RFID or OLED this money? If you are not sure, estimate, will at least catch their attention. Social Diary of a Laurier Girl copious amounts of liqueur. Inevitably, everyone became intoxicated with each other’s… charm and social grace. On such a conveniently windy night, the lucky guys were privileged to many Marilyn Lily Shang Monroe-esque moments as the ladies step Guest Columnist outside unknowingly in their skirts, to admire the skyline. year ago, my engineering friends Yet on top of it all, what made the A asked me why I was going back to night special wasn’t the setting; it was the high school; more specifically, the “high diverse guests: there were NDPers and the school down the street”. Conservative Cowboys, the models and But really guys, it’s not a high school: Eng Soc Presidents. What made it special it’s a University. I swear. God forbid, after was that youth from such diverse walks of the years of Engineering Camp, Math life could socialize together and be bound Club and Science Fair, the only daughter by a common destiny: to be the movers of engineer parents was going to graduate and shakers of tomorrow. with an Arts degree. Speaking of tomorrow, it is a big day. I Last summer was shrouded in uncer- am running to be a delegate to the Liberal tainty about the future and what this new Leadership Convention in December, and school might bring; this summer it’s time this weekend marks the last days I can to bask in the sun and the warm winds of sign up people to vote for me to go. The change. great thing about campaigning is that it For one thing, it started off on top gives me a chance to catch up with old of the world when 70+ young glitterati friends. At night we’re going to hear a arrived at my penthouse party in style. talk at Ryerson by Michael Ignatieff, the On the surface it was of bon chic, candidate I’m supporting in the Liberal A part of me is nervous about whether just another day of business. bon genre: we partied in a sleek, mod- Leadership race. The best part will be or not we’ll be able to get enough support What’s standing between tomorrow ern waterfront lounge with a 360 degree when he comes to the pub to hang out by the end of the weekend. The other part and fundraising season? A paper about balcony and glittering view of Toronto. with us, where we’ll talk policy and World of me is yearning for fundraising season, Milton Freidman’s Theory of Positive Inside, however, it became more scandal- Cup… possibly more of the latter than the when getting dressed up to the nines, sip- Economics. Fast-tracking through school ous by the hour, as people arrived with former. ping Chardonnay, and talking policy is all was a positively great idea. Wednesday, July 5, 2005 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Novel Review: ‘The Town and The City’ by Jack Kerouac members, amusing stories that show us happy American family into a mere shell In the end, young Peter takes neither side, who the characters really are. We can all of what it was. and goes on to choose his own ideas. relate to the oldest brother Joe’s under- While some of the characters are sub- Although a slow read at first, ‘The age drinking adventures, and we all feel jected to bad luck, most of what happens Town and The City’ is not so far removed the terror in our guts that little Charlie to them is a direct result of their own deci- from our present day as you might think. I Dan Arnott felt when the cop shows up right after he sions. However, Kerouac doesn’t condemn suggest reading it if you want something to 3A Environmental breaks the neighbour’s window. them for it; he praises impulsive decisions make you think a little bit. Soon, the book pares its focus down for their necessity in life. ‘How will we ack Kerouac, best known for his novel to a few major characters: the jovial, know what happens if we don’t try it out?’ J‘On The Road’, began his career with cigar-smoking father, George; the sickly is his view. ‘The Town and The City’ in 1947. It intellectual son Francis; the whimsical This book also says a lot about America almost reads like a prequel, as it has all wild child Joe; and most importantly, the at the time. Without taking sides, Kerouac the fun, debauchery, passion, and sadness middle son, Peter. Although all the charac- exposes a lot about the contrast of values of ‘On The Road’, but for a lot of us, ‘The ters are somewhat modelled after Kerouac, in the country at the time. The Martins Town and The City’ will hit a lot closer to Peter is the closest. Like Kerouac, he plays at the beginning of the book represent home. the part of the up-and-coming college traditional American values - something This novel follows the history of a New football player who gets disillusioned with that is safe, desirable, and happy, but more England working-class family, the Martins, it all, joins the army, and eventually hits than a little dull, and often cruel beneath through the years leading up to and sur- the road. the surface. Later on in the book, many of rounding the Second World War. It has a The book is named ‘The Town and The the characters are introduced to European surprisingly familiar feel to it, probably City’ because it follows the family’s down- art, literature and thinking, and the early because the Martin family is so well-writ- ward spiral from the pleasant small town beatnik culture of New York. This is por- ten that, no matter what our background, of Galloway to a tenement in New York trayed as new and exciting, but also has an we see some of ourselves in them. City. We watch as financial ruin, impul- element of darkness and hopelessness to The book starts off with a series of sive decisions, disease, war, and death it. People get hooked on Benzedrine, kill short anecdotes about the various family turn what is initially portrayed as the ideal themselves, and eventually get depressed. Album Review: Movie Review: The Omen They Just Don’t Make ‘Em Like They Used To ‘First Blush’ by Tricky Woo point. When you look at classic horror conquest tale of ‘Pink Thunder’, a ser- movies (including the original Omen), viceable rocker but one of the weaker it wasn’t about spooking the audience tracks. The album soon takes off, though, in short bursts, it was about instilling and by the third track, ‘Lover Don’t You such uneasiness and creepiness that it Lie’, we’re clapping along. As the album dave mika stuck with viewers long after leaving the Dan Arnott continues, we hear Tricky Woo wear their 3A mechatronics theatre. 3A Environmental influences on their sleeves. ‘Rat Feathers’ Maybe I’m a purist, or maybe it was is an excellent example of Popovitch’s eleased on 6/6/06 the Omen is a near- sitting in the second row with excessive sually when bands break up and get psychedelic guitar work, and ‘Mistress Rly word for word remake of the 1976 “shaky-cam” sequences, but the remake Uback together, they’re missing some of the Mountain’ is as close as Tricky horror classic by the same name. Being a of the Omen just didn’t do it for me. The of the groove they once had. Not the case Woo gets to fantasy metal. ‘We Are The fan of the original, I had high hopes for a acting was largely unimpressive. Liev with Montreal’s Tricky Woo - their lat- Vampires’ does some interesting things decent movie going experience but found Schriber pulls off a reasonable role as est album ‘First Blush’ sounds like they with a blues-based riff, and ‘Living in that, like other recent remakes, the Omen Robert Thorn. Julia Stiles on the other never left. the Danger Zone’ has a distinct Judas was plagued with everything that’s wrong hand, was lacklustre as Thorn’s wife. The Tricky Woo has been rockin’ across Priest feel to it. So yeah, this definitely with modern Hollywood horror flicks. only thing I can really remember about Canada since is a heavier The story is pretty straightforward. her performance is that acting “scared” 1996. Their album. Robert Thorn, an American ambassador, typically involved an excessive amount sound is built The best and his wife are given a random baby of heavy swallowing. largely on the song writ- following the loss of their child during I’ll admit that there were some enter- heavier side of ing comes birth. As little Damien Thorn begins to taining moments. I’m a sucker for a the late 1960s on the last grow up, strange things start transpiring. good death scene and each one of the - if the Shins " Ideas are ideas; track, ‘Dirty Without saying much else, these happen- “accidents” that befell Damien’s fod- are testifying Business’. It ings lead Robert to the conclusion that der in the film was appropriately cringe to the legacy investor won’t buy it starts with a his son is a little blue-eyed anti-christ inducing. I was pleasantly surprised to of the Beatles nice crunchy just waiting to unleash all sorts of chaos see that instead of trying to recreate some and Beach until you put it into guitar riff, on the world. Throw in the nanny-from- of the more memorable deaths from the Boys, Tricky their vocabulary.. " a GONG hell (quite literally), a handful of grue- 1976 Omen, the filmmakers decided to Woo carries (a la Led some deaths for those in Damien’s way, add enough twists to make it seem like the flag for Z e p p e l i n ) , and some romps through graveyards and the remade scenes were paying homage The Kinks, and then ancient ruins and you have a recipe for an more than anything. The MC5, breaks into entertaining hour-and-a-half. Right? In Unfortunately, creative disposal of Z e p p e l i n , a blistering 1976 absolutely but today, not so much. characters isn’t enough to save a horror Thin Lizzy, solo. This My one beef (and it’s a big one) with movie, let alone one based on such a and the Stooges. That being said, they’re song doesn’t let up its pace, even when horror movies these days is the cheap staple as the Omen. Looking back, I’m not just copying what’s been done before it throws a tempo-change in the middle scare. I’ll admit that I usually spaz the sure it was just some Hollywood bigwig’s - they add their own 90s twist to some of before returning to its thunderous chorus first time something just pops onto the bright and timely marketing scheme to the songs, and they sing with a sincerity in the end. Rock and roll is indeed a dirty screen but after a while, you can smell make this second rate film and it shows. that’s rare these days. That’s right, Tricky business, and Tricky Woo is disturbingly these lousy shock tactics coming from If you’re in the mood for horror, skip this Woo doesn’t rock to be ironic, they rock good at it. a mile away. Sadly, the remake of The remake and do yourself a favour: hit the because they love to rock. Seeing as how Andrew Dickson Omen falls prey to a few too many video store, make a vat of popcorn and ‘First Blush’ explores slightly more worked out all his quieter tendencies on “jump” moments and, as a result, loses catch Damien’s original romp in all its aggressive territory than their previous his ‘Soft Canyon’ side project, there is much of its punch by about the midway demonic deliciousness. albums. Part of this is the guitar work. not a single slow song or ballad on this While ‘Sometimes I Cry’ and ‘The Enemy album. It’s for the better; a slow song Is Real’ still have a fuzzy 60s sound, the would seem forced on this album. axes on ‘First Blush’ sound a little crisper This album isn’t big on subtlety. and a little better. Lead guitarists Adrian Basically, if you don’t like loud dirty Popovitch and Andrew Dickson work rock and roll, listen to something else. together a lot more, pulling out some But I say, grab a case of beer and throw proto-metal harmonized leads, and usu- this album on the stereo. You’ll be so ally at least two guitar solos per three- to damn glad this band is back together four-minute song. that you won’t even notice your ears are The album opens with the groupie- bleeding. Wednesday, July 5, 2006 ENGINEERING SOCIETY Summer is a Time to GLOW July’s Here – AHHHH!!! a network member you aren’t expected to Competition, increasing involvement with- be an expert on all issues relating to sex- in engineering societies and learning tech- ual orientation and gender identity, how- niques of conflict resolution. Conference ever you are expected to have an open, locations were decided for the 2006/2007 tolerant mind and be willing to offer what calendar year, with congratulations going Jen Carroll assistance you can. The purpose of the Greg FitzGerald out to Dan Taylor, who succesfully bid to President network is to provide network members VP External host the First Year Integration Conference with resources and support. here at the University of Waterloo for his past week the exec members In terms of what we can all do to help uly’s a busy month so let’s get right to it. January 2007. Congratulations also go out Ttook part in GLOW’s Ally Training make engineering be a welcoming place JAND in this weeks article I’ll try to go to Christina Waters, who was elected the Program. For anyone interested in learn- for everyone: the entire way without the use of the letter new ESSCO Vice President, Finance. ing a little bit more about the LGBTQQ ‘x’ – pretty impressive move on the part of Student Life 101 is coming up on July community, for anyone who wants to help * think before you speak – generaliza- your VP-Eternal eh? 22nd, and if you’re interested in partaking promote diversity, for anyone who wants tions and misconceptions can hurt just as Do you have a dirty car? How about a in a design competition, this is just the to be made more aware of issues related much as insults dirty bike? Maybe you even have a dirty event for you. The EngSoc Student Life to sexual orientation and gender identity * actively practice tolerance – don’t body – if any of the above applies to you, 101 directors will be hosting a competi- with specific relation to life here at UW sit quietly while someone else behaves in come on out to the Charity Car and Bike tion to showcase Waterloo Engineering – this training is for all of you! a way you wouldn’t Wash on July 8th from 10am to 2pm. All to incoming students. Teams of up to 10 The training session was roughly an * learn – knowledge is a useful tool proceeds go towards fighting breast cancer. people can enter, with team members com- hour long. We learned some definitions, There’ll be pink soap for all, and if nothing ing from any undergraduate engineering we learned about some events (both posi- I’ve signed up to become a network mem- else it’ll give you a chance to support char- discipline and year. Sign up on the orifice tive and negative) that relate to LGBTQQ ber. As the largest engineering program ity while getting sprayed down by a hose door, or email Cat Hay at c2hay@engmail. life at UW, and we learned some ways in Canada, the students/faculty/staff of to beat the summer heat (that rhymes, all uwaterloo.ca. to help promote acceptance of diversity UW engineering are a very diverse group the more reason to come out). Farewell B2 Green Party! With the – sexual or otherwise. and tolerance of others is important to Eight delegates from Waterloo (4 A- impending construction of the new nanote- By taking the training session you ensure harmony amongst us. If you have soc, 4 B-soc) recently attended the ESSCO chnology building in the fall, on the Green are not obligated to become a member any questions, concerns, comments about (Engineering Student Societies’ Council Formerly Known as Biology 2, there are of the Ally Network. If, after the session, the GLOW Ally Network or any related of Ontario) Annual General Meeting. The plans in the works to hold a year end party, you are interested in becoming a network issues please don’t hesitate to contact conference provided students from across as one last hurrah for the green. The party member you are required to sign an Ally me. Ontario with an opportunity to share ideas is to be hosted on the green by the UW-DJ Network Code of Conduct. By becoming and collaborate on topics ranging from how Club – keep your eyes and ears open for to run a successful charity event, to prepar- more information. ing students for the Ontario Engineering What’s Hot and What’s Novelties and Donations! week where we liquidated the majority of Not in EngSoc our old inventory. It was great where old foyer at 12:30. t-shirts went for 2 for a $1. These were by TalEng – July 6 in POETS – Sing, far the hottest sale. Overall a lot of our old laugh, and dance with all your friends Christopher stock was moved, this means that there is while we display all of EngSoc’s great tal- Olekas now room in the store to get new novel- ents besides solving differential equations. VP Finance ties. Some of the novelties we’re thinking Adam Neale Off Road Classic/EngFest – July 8 of making are boxers adorned with the VP Internal – Bike through the trails or come out ello Hello, and welcome to the nth TOOL, and Eng Socks! Another sale is and volunteer. Either way there will be a Hinstalment of masterpiece theatre, in the works before the end of term, but HOT barbeque and good times had by all as the I’m your host, the Vice President of don’t hold me to it! Also, the online nov- EngFest directors provide hours of enter- Finance, Christopher Olekas. Tonight elties initiative is going on strong. I’ve EngSoc Family Photo – Thanks to taining events throughout the day. we’ll talk about damsels in distress, magi- got a computer inside novelties to act as everyone that showed up, the picture looks Genius Bowl – July 12 in RCH 101 cal relics, and the greatest story ever told. a point of sale system and my finance great and a hard copy should be available – Test your knowledge of all things from Above you will find how the Engineering director is working hard developing the for everyone that was in the picture before around the world, and brag about how Society decided to allocate our donation software. There are also rumours of a the end of the term. There will be more trivial your knowledge actually is. funds for this term. If your group has redesigned EngSoc web page and online information on this in the coming weeks. EngPlay – July 13-15 – Drama and/or been allocated funds you should get in novelties will be a part of it. Enginuity #2 – July 5 – Toss the roll- hilarity will ensue without a doubt. contact with me on how you can receive That concludes this episode of mas- erblading dummy down the hill and watch Semi-Formal – July 15 – Come out and those funds. terpiece theatre, good evening and good Engineering Society Donations (Spring 2006) what calamity ensues. Meet up in the CPH dress up for the Moonlight Masquerade. In other news, novelties had a sale last night.

Team or Group Amount Requested Allocated Coming Soon... UW Underwater Technology Team $240.00 $175.00 Moonlight Masquerade IEE EMB $250.00 $150.00 GNCTR $750.00 $375.00 You CAN come out to both events! CRT $836.05 $150.00 There are two types of tickets available this term. For $35 you can purchase a din- GradComm $600.00 $350.00 ner and dance ticket. Doors will open at Quake Relief Summer Program $600.00 $225.00 6:30pm and dinner will begin at 7:00pm. Midnight Sun $250.00 $125.00 Adam Neale For only $15 you can come at 8:00pm FOC $500.00 $400.00 VP Internal and dance your heart out for the rest of TronsForChildren $50.00 $50.00 the evening. Appetizers will be served UW CE Course $75.00 $0.00 et ready to be swept off your feet at throughout the night. Drinks can be bought Gthe Moonlight Masquerade. Our semi- at the bar with proof of age. formal dinner and dance will be held on Tickets are available in the Orifice Saturday, July 15th at the KW Granite Club beginning Monday, June 26th. Dinner tick- Total (across from UWP). Please note: this is the ets will be sold for a limited time only, so be $4,151.05 $2,000.00 same weekend as the frosh leader retreat. sure to pick yours up early!

Participation Participation 40.0% Geological 3A 7 36.4% Geological Total 7 73.1% Mechatronics 1B 18 84.1% 30.0% Mechatronics 3A 20 79.2% Mechatronics Total 38 81.8% 20.0% Mechanical 1B 11 87.6% Mechanical 2B 39 49.4% 10.0% Mechanical 3A 28 65.9% Mechanical 4A 21 72.0% Mechanical Total 101 69.1% 0.0% Software 2B 9 85.9% ND Int'l Civil Civil Geo Geo Software 4A 12 85.4% Syde Syde Mech Mech Mech Mech Chem Comp Chem Comp Chem Comp Chem Comp Enviro Enviro ARCH ARCH MchTrn MchTrn Software Total 21 85.6% Software Software Electrical Electrical Electrical Electrical Electrical

Env.Chem Systems 1B 20 78.0% Systems 3A 22 71.4% 1B 2B 3A 4A 4B Int'l ND Systems Total 42 75.0% Class Int'l 8 68.0% ND 4 86.2% Development Projects Overseas – Millenium VillagesALL Total Project 694 68.9% graduate Yaacov Iland speak about his about MVP can be found at www.earth- Ghana, the Phillippines, and Mali are recent trip with economist and founder institute.columbia.edu/mvp. currently working on and then we’ll be of the Millenium Development Goals, Yaacov Iland is solution manager for giving them a phone call to ask about Jeffrey Sachs, along with his involve- the IGLOO project (www.theigloo.org) at their work in person. Students are also ment in the Millennium Villages Project the Centre for International Governance welcome to come out for the weekly Tina randall (MVP) in Kenya. MVP is an initiative Innovation in Waterloo. discussion groups sessions, upcoming ewb waterloo to bring development infrastructure to Students are welcome to come out to topics include “The role of religious Africa by 2015. It is based at the Earth the next general meeting for Engineers groups in development” and “The Road ast week in the SLC Multipurpose Institute at Columbia University and Without Borders Tuesday, July 4 5:30 to Hell…How much does intention mat- LRoom, students had the opportunity currently running in 12 villages across pm in RCH 305. We’ll be checking ter”. Visit www.uwaterloo.ewb.ca for to hear past Feds president and UW CS sub-Saharan Africa. More information out the projects that our volunteers in details. EngPlay – Every Rose Has a Thorn Evo Banned Geoff Kooymans some fun, and he sends the Countess some Marina closer than ever before. S06 EngPlay roses along with an anonymous note from a The EngPlay will be running on July Continued from page 11 mystery admirer. Moments before Marina 12th, 14th, and 15th in MC 2066. The July he B-soc engineers have done it again!! departs on her vacation, the roses intended 12th and 14th shows begin at 7:00pm, while TI’m referring to the brilliantly planned for the Countess from Alberto, are mistak- the 15th show begins at 12:30pm. Tickets that the ban will affect local tourism. rendition of “Two Dozen Red Roses” by enly delivered to Marina along with the are $6.00 each and can be purchased at the Japanese visitors Kyouichi Sudou and playwright Aldo de Benedetti, adapted by mystery note. Interested in her chances Turnkey Desk and at The Orifice (CPH Seiji Iwaki complained, “We are accus- Kenneth Horne. Set in Italy, this comedy with this stranger, Marina forgoes her vaca- 1303). tomed to driving the Lancer Evolution investigates if the desire to commit infidel- tion to see if the mystery man sends her and do not drive any other car besides ity is the same as the real thing. Alberto any more roses. Alberto, realizing what this one. So the mountains of Kansas Verani (Patrick Bunker) and Marina Verani has happened when his wife returns with will be one less place for us to visit... (Rianne Ranta), are a happily married cou- roses and a secret admirer, decides to test assuming there are actually mountains ple. Nearing the stage of life known as Old his wife’s fidelity by sending her flow- there.” Age, Marina sets out to prove to herself ers once a day accompanied with the love Obviously, Mitsubishi was also that she is still young and attractive to other notes. As the days pass, Alberto begins to unhappy about this decision and described men by taking a vacation with her cousin. worry desperately that his wife will forsake the situation as a “floccinaucinihilip- Although slightly uncomfortable with the him for the mystery man. Tomasso Savelli ilification of unrelated material”; they idea of Marina attracting other men, Alberto (Ryan Wheeler), a family friend, attempts will attempt to bring their concerns to allows her the vacation. As chance would to mend all wounds by taking the blame for the federal government if necessary. have it, Alberto receives a phone call from the anonymous letters and roses. The path Meanwhile, Subaru has kindly offered to a well known Countess trying to reach the to the truth, however, is filled with hilari- fill the market demands in Kansas with florist nearby. Alberto decides to have ous twists and turns that leave Alberto and its Impreza WRX STI machines. 10 Wednesday, July 5, 2006 SPORTS Edmonton’s Cup Drive Ends Dramatically in six games. In this series, we saw that faced the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim. The never quit, and won the game in overtime, Edmonton’s goalie, acquired around the underdog again outplayed the now top shorthanded thanks to a goal by Fernando trade deadline, Dwayne Roloson was a seeded team in the west to win the confer- Pisani. Heading back to Edmonton to good pick up. He stood on his head ence series in 5 games. force a seventh game, Jussi Markannen and saved shots he had no right saving. The turning point of the playoffs for didn’t have a great game, but neither did Michael Simoes Defensemen Chris Pronger began play- Edmonton came in game 1 of the Stanley Carolina having only 9 shots on goal giv- 3A Chemical ing like he should have been playing Cup finals, when a Carolina player crashed ing Edmonton a huge 4-0 win away. Game logging 30 minutes every game. Forward the net, and one the Edmonton defensemen seven of the Stanley Cup playoffs was just hen the Stanley Cup playoffs start- Fernando Pisani having a breakout season pushed the Carolina player into the goalie, as exciting and as dramatic as it could be, Wed, a year that did not see two regu- played with heart and began to score the Dwayne Roloson. Roloson did not play but it was not meant to be for the Oilers lar Canadian contenders (Vancouver and game winning goals. The team as a whole again. Ty Conklin finished the first game who lost 3 to 1. Toronto) in it, the hopes of all Canadians played with grit blocking shots even with and with an error attributed to both Jason For the Oilers, the Edmonton power lay with the best Canadian team in the their heads. Smith and Ty Conklin to give an empty play and penalty killing, which had been regular season, the Ottawa Senators. Little This trend of great goaltending, good netter to Canadian Rod Brind’Amour. so dominant in the previous series, lost did we know that our hopes for the cup to defense, hard working forwards, heart and After this game, Jussi Markannen started its touch and was a big reason why they come back to Canada would lie with the grit carried through the next series against in goal and lost his first ever playoff game. did not win. Cam Ward, the Conn Smythe Edmonton Oilers, a dynasty that has not San Jose. Down two games, heading home After two hard losses in Carolina, the winner deserved the MVP honors in his won the cup since the 89-90 season. to the Rexall place, the crowd showed Oilers returned home to the Rexall place rookie season playing like a veteran under The Edmonton Oilers had to face a some character singing both national where the fans greeted them to an ovation. the tremendous pressure he was under. tough opening round opponent in the anthems. The fans were the difference in The Oilers won the third game, but not All good things must come to an end but Detroit Red Wings, the best team in the this series, who cheered the team on to 4 the fourth. Edmonton down 3 games to 1 we only have to wait a year till the next regular season. The Oilers having played straight wins to win the series 4 games was in a do or die position, returning to playoffs and all the exciting actions begins like Calgary two years ago beat the goliath to 2. After disposing of the Sharks, they Carolina. The Oilers played with heart and again. Soccer Fans Destroy the Environment noticed an abundance of broken, discarded out the $10 you paid for it. What kind of charge of a country. car window soccer flags along the side of respect is that for your team, turning their Let’s think about the environment for the road. flag into worthless plastic road kill? In a second. Even in a landfill, these flags We all know them; those flags flying some countries, it is a criminal offence to would take forever to break down. That’s from, what seems like, every car window deface a flag or improperly dispose of it. why we recycle plastic. On the side of Jenn Black touting the favourite team of the car’s I’d like to point out that littering is also the road, these flags don’t stand a chance 4A Civil occupants and/or the South American team illegal. of returning from whence they came. By most likely to win. Sure it’s great roll- Like tire tread debris, this flag rubble is this I don’t mean some factory in China, o it’s World Cup time and fans every- ing along on local roads at 60 km/h but also dangerous to other motorists. It could I mean (in the least cliché way possible) Swhere are banding together to watch when you’re clipping along at 110 km/h get caught in a vehicle’s undercarriage Mother Nature. The flags will just sit some world-class sporting events, root for (or whatever obscene speed you kids are or thrown up and through a windshield. there, gather other rubbish and occasion- their team, participate in some drunken going at these days…) those flags are I know I’d harbour a grudge against a ally getting choked on by birds. hooliganism, and destroy the environ- holding on for dear life. Not to mention certain country if its flag came through Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for show- ment. that no one can even identify your team at my windshield and tried to assassinate ing support for your favourite team. But You’re probably thinking about the lit- those speeds. me. Hell, if I was the leader of a certain instead of littering your allegiance all over tering that goes on at games, people just I know plastic is a very durable mate- country and a flag of a country I already the highway, stick to painting your entire dropping garbage when and where they’re rial but you are simply asking too much of thought was shifty (or had WMD) attempts body in your team colours and yelling finished with it, but I’m referring to some- it! At highway speeds, those flag poles are to assassinate me, I might be compelled at others with a bullhorn. Let’s just stay thing a little closer to home. The other day eventually going to snap. And then bam! to wage war on that other country. Good away from those pesky lead-based paints. I was travelling along highway 401 and I Your flag is roadside debris and you’re thing no one is inane enough to put me in

Sandford Fleming Foundation E2 3336, ext 4008, sff@engmail www.eng.uwaterloo.ca/~sff

Sandford Fleming Foundation Awards

Twenty one awards were given to students from across engineering at the June 2006 Convocation. Academic Excellence Co-operative Proficiency Andrea Van Bruinessen, Chemical Mary Thomson, Chemical Cherry Huang, Chemical/Environmental Wendy Eitzen, Civil Justina Yang, Civil Derek Kwok, Computer Leigh Davis, Civil/Environmental Bryan Leung, Electrical Sheena Luu, Computer Chris Bestfather, Chemical/Environmental Kevin Spieser, Electrical Maureen O’Connell, Civil/Environmental David Kadylak, Mechanical Steven McNabb, Mechanical Daylen Syhlonyk, Mechanical Laura Pearson, Mechanical Douglas Kavanagh, Software Susanna Ng, Software Christopher Blake, Systems John Conklin, Systems Yat Wong, Management Science Option

Funding for this award comes from your student contributions and depends on it for continuation. Wednesday, July 5, 2005 11 SATIRE Music Review: Billy Talent II by Billy Talent As an album, the songs flow nicely Mass, has already made a splash on the edges have been sanded down but there is from one to the next. Unfortunately, some radio and on television. It’s exactly what still plenty there to hook you and give you of the songs flow so well that it leaves one would expect from Billy Talent based some wicked splinters. In my opinion, you wondering if your CD player is on on previous singles. There’s nothing that these changes are not a sign of slowing the fritz and repeating prevents an artist down but a sign of maturity. jenn black songs. But all in all, with sticking to If you want to know what all the fuss 4a civil the songs are interest- something once is about before buying the album (which ing and different. they’ve found out I highly recommend), I suggest down- or the first time hearing this album, My favourite " Ideas are ideas; what works for loading, if you haven’t already, the first FI give it an A. Not an A+, just an A. part is, and always them and there’s single – Devil in a Midnight Mass. Other I’m one of those people who need to listen has been, lead singer investor won’t buy it nothing I hate suggestions for precursory downloading to something over and over for it to grow Ben Kowalewicz’s more than an artist are the hard driving Red Flag, and the on me and win me over. Music needs to unique sound. You until you put it into changing who they catchy This Suffering. For anyone paying have listen-ability to it for it to impress me. can instantly tell their vocabulary.. " are and what they attention, these are the first three songs With really good albums, the more you a Billy Talent song are singing about. on the album. I assure you, I DID listen listen to them, the better they sound. So from any other band You hear me Black to the whole album. Exercising a random upon first listening, Billy Talent’s second as soon as he starts Eyed Peas? I’m listening order, these are the songs that major label release gets a much lauded A singing. Whether talking to you! really stuck out in my mind. So to put your from me. This gives me high hopes for the singing or scream- That being addled minds at ease, I will also suggest next dozen times I get to listen to it before ing, Kowalewicz’s voice has a distinctive said, Billy Talent II is a little more melod- the relatively mellow Surrender for you to it gets overplayed on the radio and is no musical quality. ic and seemingly less angry than Billy check out. longer enjoyable. The first single, Devil in a Midnight Talent’s first offering. Some of the ruff Happy Listening. UW Particle Accelerator Kansas Bans Evolution farmer noted, “After that retarded rac- Scheduled For Repair ing movie came out, I noticed a lot of around campus? I mean, that’s just young’uns toying around with their trac- crazy.” tors. They ought to know that this ain’t The accelerator, constructed some Tokyo and you can’t drift farm vehicles. time in the 1960s, has been active since Gabriel Chan Better not give ‘em any more toys to the Cold War. Breakthroughs include the 3A Systems Design play with!” The community reverend dan arnott discovery of the Tastyon, an extremely also agreed with the ruling. “Many peo- 3A environmental delicious particle. Last weekend, the Kansas Department ple these days are being tempted away However, in the last few years, of Transportation (KDOT) announced from the teachings of God,” said the W has announced that extensive the University of Waterloo unwitting- that the Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution good reverend. “The ban is a step in the Urepairs are scheduled for its par- ly diverted funds for the Accelerator will not be allowed on its freeways. The right direction in teaching them not to ticle accelerator, located under Ring Centre in the north campus research and spokesperson for KDOT cited concerns worship fast cars.” Road. technology park to WARRP. for the safety of traffic on its high- However, some people were clearly “Most students, and even most fac- “The worst thing about it is that peo- ways and possible violations of emission not pleased with the ruling. A chap ulty, don’t know about Waterloo’s par- ple get the Accelerator Centre confused standards. The ban on the Evolution was from a local high school said that he ticle accelerator,” said Professor J. Y. with the particle accelerator, which are welcomed by the Kansas State govern- was looking forward to renting a Lancer Kelly, director of WARRP (Waterloo’s really two different things.” Said Kelly. ment, which had supported a ban on Evolution for the weekend to test-drive: Accelerator (under) Ring Road (of) “But at least we’re getting their funding, teaching about evolution in its schools “Yeah, and not only that, now there’s no Particles). “But when you look at the so really it works out better for us.” last year. However, KDOT alleged that way my buddy can test-drive his new way the university is laid out, it’s Repairs are scheduled for spring the ban on the Lancer Evolution was not Mustang either!” There is also evidence perfectly obvious that there’s a par- 2007. “You may not know the accelera- related to that incident whatsoever. ticle accelerator under there. Why else tor is there,” said Kelly, “but it’s there. Some of the residents of Kansas were Continued on page 9, see Evo would there be a ring-shaped road going Oh, it’s there, all right.” delighted to hear the decision. One local Iron Insight from The Friendly Stranger quiz in one or more classes. But again, be your ex-pal relieve his anger. Second, it : Send in your application to the careful what you say. Some parents will will cut your dumb-ass genes out of the AEngineering Department and see say you can do assignments and study for gene pool. I’ve never heard of anything what happens. To increase your chances tests at home. Your best bet is probably to as stupid as hitting a guy in the balls on of being accepted, here are some tips: make up the group assignments. You have purpose. Men should not do that to each 1) Staple several hundred-dollar bills the to be at school for those. other, or before you know it, guys will be to your application. If questioned, say you friendly stranger sacking each other for the smallest griev- spilled a little “grease” on the paper. : Where should I put my dentures ance. 2) Call the Admissions office at least : My family is clamoring for me to Qwhile playing sports? Its dangerous once a day, and two or three times on Qgo visit them at home. I don’t want for me to leave them in. : What’s the best way to cook road- Friday including one call around closing to see them; I’m sick of them. They live -False Tooth Qkill? Barbecue, baked, fried, or time, and politely query as to the status in Stratford, so its not like travel time is an : Dentures are one of the few things ground up? of your application. That way, when they issue for me. How do I tell them I’m not Athat people won’t steal for money. -Hungry man get to your paper, they will remember your coming home for the weekend? They will only steal them to tease you or to : Squirrels are small and so go best name and how polite you are and how -Family Crisis annoy you. If there are people around that Aon a spit over an open fire (ie camp enthusiastic you are. Enthusiasm counts : I suggest you transfer to an out-of- you don’t like, put them in a backpack or fire). Birds can be stuffed and roasted in for a lot. Aprovince school next year. Then the wrap them up in your change of clothes. If the oven or on the Q (wrapped in foil paper 3) Lie. But make them entertaining issue will go away. For the short term, everyone around is friendly, then you can for the Q). Geese get about 20 minutes lies. Because in the end, isn’t that the real there are a couple of things you can do. leave them sitting anywhere. a pound in the oven. Geese stuffed with truth? First, fake a contagious illness. No one squirrel you might want to give a bit more Once you get into engineering, make will want you around if you’re going to : My pal and I were playing some time. Anything else (and anything uniden- sure to sleep around with everyone you get them sick. However, this won’t work Qbaseball. He was trying out his new tifiable) should be ground up so you and can. Its called “networking” and it helps if you have one of those mothers who will cup and jock. I tested it by hitting him in anyone you eat with doesn’t know what engineers to get jobs once they graduate. drive down and feed you chicken noodle the groin with the bat. Now he won’t talk you’re cooking. And drink. All engineers drink til they soup. Your cover story will blow up like a to me, and he’s suing me for physical and drop, every night. Parties are another way bowl full of dynamite. Your other choice emotional trauma. How do I smooth this : Hi! i’m an arts student consider- to build your “network.” And if you fall is to claim that you have a very heavy work over with him? Qing switching to engineering to better drunkenly into someone else’s bed, all load and there’s no time to come home. : The only solution is to stand in front myself and my future. do you have any the better for your networking. I’ll put in Make up some group projects that you can Aof him, hand him the bat, and let him advice for me? a good word for you in the Applications only do on weekends. Pretend you have wail on you for a good hour or so. The -Useless department. big assignments. Say you have a weekly solution has two benefits. First, it will let 12 Wednesday, July 5, 2006 Here’s a puzzle fit for an engineer’s intellect. engProfQuotes

Harout Manougian Enginoku “The soil will say, ‘I know that stress Prof: “That’s phi. Fee. Or fie. Or foe.” 3A Electrical already, I’m not going to move.’” -J. Craig, ENVE 321 -G. Cascante, CIVE 353 “Wait, I must be on crack.” “Why are we doing these flow nets any- -J. P. Jones, EARTH 458 way, other than to draw fancy pictures?” -E. Cey, EARTH 458 “Water is lazy, just like me.” -J. P. Jones, EARTH 458 “Are you understanding what I’m saying or am I talking like a lawyer now?” “So you can pump the water out, treat it, -S. Chaudhuri, ECE 370 and haul it off-site to New Jersey where nobody cares.” “I walk around campus and see these -J. P. Jones, EARTH 458 little white wires coming out of everyone’s head.” “And any other equations, like the equa- -S. Chaudhuri, ECE 370 tion of a circle, which you should be slapped and sterilized if you don’t already “We have to go back to our mothership, know...” which is science.” -J. P. Jones, Earth 458 -S. Chaudhuri, ECE 370 “I don’t understand. I’m working hard yet, “I’ve either screwed up really, really badly somehow, I’m gaining weight.” or the notes are wrong.” -A. Khandani, ECE 316 -M. Collins, ECE 309 “I smoke only cigarettes.” “If you have stupid boundary conditions, -A. Khandani, ECE 316 you’re going to get stupid junk.” -J. Craig, ENVE 321 “I am now getting to the point of excite- ment.” Student: “What’s that little circle with a -A. Khandani, ECE 316 line through it?”

Harout Manougian 3A Electrical

Solution to last

edition of Enginoku

(Spring 06 Issue 3)

the What are you going to do with the money Iron InquisitionPhilip Newman, 3A Systems Design you save from the GST cut?

“What will I not do?” “Get a tanning bed” “Get some birth control!” “Buy a comfortable bed” - Molly Mongoose, 3B Reptile - Bob Beluga, 1B Marine Studies -Rita Rabbit, 3A Family Studies. -Steve Sloth, 4A Relaxation studies Conservation

“I’ve always wanted a second pouch” “Get rid of the damn swan.” “Send off the ducks.” “Two chicks at the same time.” -Karen Kangaroo, 2B Dynamic Sciences -Waterloo park ducks, Various Terms and -Waterloo park Swan, 4B Econ -Rod Rooster, 2A Womens Studies Programs