The archaic nature of the Cambridge disciplinary structure revealed in a major Varsity investigation

The Independent Cambridge Student Newspaper since 1947 | varsity.co.uk | Friday October 6 2006 | Issue 641 Security compromised ARTS &FEATURES at Cambridge Colleges LITERATURE »Intruders The rise of the arrested but graphic novel not charged »PAGE 20 NIKKI BURTON & TOM PARRY-JONES

College security has come under renewed scrutiny, as two intruders were arrested inside Cambridge col- leges in the early hours of Sunday morning. At Emmanuel College, a man was detained in "J" staircase fol- lowing a police chase using a helicop- ter and dog squad. At Churchill another man was arrested for sus- pected burglary, having entered a ACTIVISM number of students' rooms. Despite the location of the arrests, and the Death of the scale of the police response, both men were later released without charge. student Police have connected the intruder at Emmanuel with a brawl at the protest? Regal public house earlier in the evening. The pub's manager, Sarah »PAGE 12 Hemingway, told Varsity how a large group of people from "out of town" were causing trouble on Saturday Police entering Emmanuel College’s “J” Staircase, photographed on a student’s phone PAUL BARKER night, when one of them kicked in a window at the front of the pub. A One doorman was hospitalised after wall into Emmanuel at 12.21am and In the ensuing minutes multiple doorman apprehended the culprit and receiving concussion. found his way to the Emmanuel police cars, including a dog squad, began to march him to a cash-point to Shortly after midnight the police House area of the grounds. Once were sent to the college and a police pay for the damage, but the man were called to deal with the incident there, a student apparently took him helicopter was scrambled. Alarmed escaped when other members of the and began to track a male suspect in back to their room, thinking that he by the searchlights, students attend- group threw chairs from the balcony connection with the accusation of was a drunk and disorientated ing a Fresher's Week party began to at a second member of the door-staff. criminal damage. The suspect scaled a fresher. CONTINUED ON PAGE 2 Richard to prioritise student teaching “research is accorded higher status”. issue”, President Mark Ferguson told Both sabbatical officers see the able fees”. In con- JAMIE MUNK Richard refuted Newman’s nine- Varsity. He noted “Sometimes the reform of the supervision system, cele- trast, the Vice- Chief News Editor teenth century assertion that “to dis- University can seem like a research brated by Richard, as a priority in Chancellor of cover and to teach are distinct func- institution with teaching attached”. improving teaching. Ferguson, Oxford, Dr In her annual address to the Regent tions”, arguing instead that “at its best, CUSU Academic Affairs Officer although praising the supervision sys- John Hood, House on Monday, Vice-Chancellor teaching invigorates research”. The Dave Ewings concurred, saying “I tem as “an incredible asset”, noted “a in his Alison Richard pledged her determina- problem of teaching in a research-led completely agree about getting the lot of supervisors don’t have any signif- Oration on tion “to reaffirm the importance of edu- university like Cambridge is not, in her teaching right”. But he disputed icant level of training”. He added, Tuesday cation” within the University. view, a lack of talent on the part of aca- Richard’s praise of the unique role of “We’d like to see full training”. openly Undergraduate teaching “demands our demics. Instead, she contended, “teach- Cambridge colleges in ensuring Notably absent from a speech oth- admitted attention”, she informed the assembled ing makes diminishing professional or breadth as well as depth in undergrad- erwise concerned with undergraduate “an congregation. economic sense in the eyes of a growing uate education, another key topic in her issues was any mention of the debate increase in Her speech, entitled “The Well- number of academics”. As a solution, speech. “Students cross academic surrounding top-up fees. Richard, fees is Educated Undergraduate”, called on she urged the University to “ensure boundaries all the time”, she argued, although alluding to “shortfalls in the inevitable if academics to support her in a “dual that teaching is properly recognized in going on to describe college’s as “hot- funding of undergraduate education”, we are to sus- mission” of shaping Cambridge into a staff remuneration and taken seriously houses for unstructured learning”. made no acknowledgement of the fact tain the university of excellence in both during consideration for promotion”. Ewings instead sees “an important that her speech on the first day of the exceptional research and teaching. “The activity of The Vice-Chancellor’s emphasis on contrast between the academic educa- new year coincided with the arrival of quality of the teaching is threatened”, she told the undergraduate teaching has made a tion offered by college’s and a lack of freshers facing annual fees of £3000 for student body Senate House, criticising a mindset good impression on the CUSU “life education”. The system of bed- their education for the first time. and the educa- amongst both academics and the com- Executive. “It’s good that the Vice- ders, porters and buttery food “molly- Ferguson commented, “I was sur- tional experi- pilers of university rankings, where Chancellor has identified this as an coddles students”, he told Varsity. prised to see no comment about vari- ence we offer”.

2 varsity.co.uk/news | 06.10.06

Write for Varsity News: Meet 5.30pm Sundays in Newsdesk B Dining Room, Trinity Hall In Brief »Are new under-18 freshers sufficiently catered for in Cambridge? Prodigies: Past and Present Freshers’ Fair Welfare of child Jeremy Bentham: Alexander Faludy:

students under • Went to Queen’s College, • Severely dyslexic. Oxford, in 1760, aged 12. • Won a place at Peterhouse, • Took Bachelors and Masters Cambridge in 1997 age 15; question degrees in six years. youngest Cambridge undergrad- • Went on to become a jurist, uate of the twentieth century. philosopher and player in the development of Utilitarianism. Sufiah Yusof: to details such as her room’s proximi- AMY HOGGART ty to bathrooms, as well as “what Ruth Lawrence: • Educated at home until she took their neighbours are like”. Most a place at St Hilda’s, Oxford, age 13 During the last week Varsity has importantly, anyone mentoring this • O-Level and A-level Maths age 9. in 1998. been made aware of the admission of person “must be CRB vetted”, includ- • Joined St. Hugh’s Oxford age • Ran away to work in a hotel a number of students amongst this ing college family members, tutors 10 (1984). Gained 2 degrees, a after taking her end of year year’s intake who are under the age of and bedders. DPhil and Fellowship by 1994. exams. 18. The presence of these students, Yet the problems posed by the often dubbed “child prodigies” and necessity of such measures were expressed frustration that “17 year- metrically. They may be far ahead of technically still classed as children, bought into stark relief by another olds at other colleges had no problems their age peers in a curriculum sub- has raised serious welfare issues in an young female student. Speaking or particular attention paid to them”, ject but behind in sport or team play- institution geared almost entirely exclusively to Varsity, she told of how and recounted an incident in which ing, social and emotional development toward the education of adults. her photograph had been circulated or art appreciation.” Similar concerns have also been amongst the college “Ents Team” so A brief survey of the admissions raised about the way in which 17 year- “most children, that she would not be served alcohol policies at other universities old freshers, arriving after their at parties. revealed a wide disparity in attitudes Scottish Advanced Highers, are whether gifted CUSU President Mark Ferguson’s toward what St Andrews described ALEX CONSTANTINIDES treated. said that it is “the prerogative of each as “a grey area in the law”. St Although unable to discuss the or not, develop college to have different policies on Andrews itself does take undergrad- details of this years’ intake for legal students who are under 18”, but uates under the age of 18, whilst at Degrees reasons, Varsity was able to speak to asymmetrically” added that CUSU “urges those col- Durham, the policy is to turn down Comparison the Senior Tutor of one female “child leges who allow students under 18 to any younger applicants regardless of prodigy” who had been admitted to attend allow them to play a full role merit. Oxford, who “refuse to dis- The Quality Assurance Agency study a science-based subject. within the college”. Jane Hughes, criminate on basis of age”, are (QAA) has released a paper claiming Attempting to explain the lengths from the National Association for “pleased to deal with the welfare that the current system of awarding that the college had gone to in an “a watch was kept over her” and that Gifted Children, told Varsity “Whilst problems” arising from the admis- degrees is unfair and an inadequate effort to accommodate the girl, she felt she had been “singled out” by a few young people under 18 might be sion of younger students. way of comparing students. It will add Varsity was told that the fresher was the college authorities, particularly in able to fit into undergraduate culture, weight to the proposal that students for the most part “being treated nor- relation to the consumption of alcohol. generally we would recommend only achieve a fail, a pass or a distinc- mally”, living in halls of residence and Although admitting that she believed delaying entry to university until the tion. The QAA pointed out that final attending supervisions. Careful con- the college was right to be taking age of 18” because “most children, nagty.ac.uk degree marks depend on rules deter- sideration was apparently being paid account of the licensing laws, she whether gifted or not, develop asym- mined by individual institutions and universities, providing no consistent criteria to compare degrees between universities. Peter Williams, Chief Top Up Fees: KCSU’s big protest Security breaches Executive of the QAA, said that the classing of degrees under the current CONTINUED FROM FRONT PAGE the College Dean was later informed. system "reflects also the marking congregate outside on the lawn. A Security at both colleges is general- practices inherent in the subject or number of onlookers reported that ly considered to be tight. At subjects studied, and the rule or rules shortly afterwards the fugitive was Emmanuel, major entrances are authorised by that institution for led by police from the staircase and locked with a Corkey system, and determining the classification". arrested - not for criminal damage but CCTV aided police in Sunday’s arrest. Matt Rowlands for obstructing a police officer. But the steel gate at the rear of Despite the commotion, students at Emmanuel House can be easily Emmanuel seemed unfazed by the climbed over. At Churchill, despite arrest. One told Varsity that it was the disadvantage of its open layout, College buildings "quite an amusing event" and that CCTV is installed throughout, and win awards people cheered as the suspect was there are locks on both bedroom and removed from the building. A third The Cripps Building at Magdalene year student called it "probably the College and the Ward Library at most exciting thing that will ever hap- “He told the Peterhouse have both won awards pen in Emma". With the atmosphere from the Royal Institute of British apparently undampened, the party is student that he Architects (RIBA). The Cripps reported to have continued once the Building won in the education catego- police departed. was trying to ry, while the heritage award went to Later the same night at Churchill the Library. Freeland Rees Roberts College, an intruder gained access to find the exit” Architects designed both successful the college and entered three student buildings. Gabriel Byng rooms before waking a female second year. He told the student that he was “trying to find the exit”, and escaped. She immediately reported the inci- Student’s dent to the porter on duty and upon staircase doors. Dr Alan Findlay, attacker killed returning to her room with him and Senior Tutor at Churchill told Varsity two handymen, the intruder was that Churchill has plans to introduce a A man who attempted to murder a found hiding on Staircase 42. He was card-operated locking system. “If Cambridge student in 1997 has been detained by staff and subsequently people don’t lock their bedroom doors shot dead in Glasgow’s Bridgetown arrested on suspicion of theft. The at night, they lay themselves open to area on the same spot. Thomas man had allegedly taken a mobile the risk of such intrusions”, adding Longstaff, who had served a ten year phone from a sleeping second year’s that the college will “encourage our sentence for the attack on Sean room; it was later discovered, appar- students to be more circumspect in O’Connor, was murdered on Monday ently discarded, in the college befriending strangers”. evening. The attack occurred amid grounds. Despite the days of police time sectarian violence in the city, where All of the students involved had left spent on the separate arrests, in both O’Connor was an ardent Celtic fan. their doors unlocked, and the open cases all charges have been dropped Detective Chief Inspector Bob Law is plan layout of the college made access and the suspects released. The owner appealing for witnesses. "Inquiries EMILY WRIGHT easy. It is unclear whether the man of the missing mobile phone at into this incident are at a very early Ten protesters, two bikes and a lonely CUSU banner. King’s College was actually trespassing on Churchill Churchill was unimpressed, com- stage”, he said, adding “we are trying Student Union No Top-up Fees Rally failed to yield the expected hoards College property as he had been menting, “After waiting for such a to gain as much information as possi- of protesters on Thursday morning despite a concerted campaign of fly- befriended by a drunk student earlier long time at the Police Station, it is ble about the circumstances.” ering and facebook invitations . that night. Police and the porter-on- annoying [the arrest] has come to Gabriel Byng duty reprimanded the student and nothing”. varsity.co.uk/news | 06.10.06 3

Tel: 01223 353 422 Newsdesk Email: [email protected] Girton bans alcohol after Ashley Aarons on freshers’ drunken mayhem the NUS »College bar closed and freshers’ ent cancelled by Senior Tutor Extra confusion petrators rather than the whole col- lege.” He went on to say that the deci- sion “hasn’t ruined freshers week but I felt prompted to respond to has put a bit of a dampener on it.” Tom the piece in last week’s Varsity Howard, the JCR Bar Rep, also com- covering the NUS Cards issue: mented that while he sympathised the situation is far less compli- with the reasons behind Jefferies deci- cated than it was made to sion, he felt that closing the bar would appear. penalize those who use it as “an open, The current situation is as non-pressured, sociable space.” such: students can have three Burdus, however, fully backed cards, the Cambridge Jefferies’ decision, explaining the need University Student’s Union to “show freshers how to drink card, the NUS Extra card and responsibly”. He was keen to empha- the University card. The CUSU card is free to all students and identifies it’s “The level of owner as a student, a member of their college, a member of drunkenness... CUSU and a member of the NUS. This therefore works as in is totally identity card and provides dis- counts available outside the unacceptable” NUS extra scheme. The NUS extra card (also an ID card) is completely different. Costing £10 it is primarily a dis- count card, providing a large number of savings. It is not sise that Girton has had a “really good expected that all students will freshers week…if anything these necessarily purchase it. events have brought the year closer The difference between these together”. Since Sunday all freshers two is added to by the existence week activities held within the college of the University card; provided Students at Girton toga-up (and down) to get into the ent’s Greek theme. Guinness hats were strictly optional. have been alcohol free, with only soft to all Cambridge staff and stu- drinks provided. the college has been awash with spec- As a result many students are mys- Jimmy Appleton, the JCR Vice- NEWS REPORTER ulation. One student said that she saw tified by the college’s decision and President and President of the “a guy being taken out to the ambu- angered at the lack of information Freshers committee believes that “That NUS cards Freshers’ week at Girton got off to a lance in a wheelchair…he looked to be from tutors. these events have nonetheless been a exist is out of chaotic start last Sunday at the col- passed out”. It is rumoured that he Despite repeated attempts by great success, “The freshers have lege’s Greek themed ent. Paramedics then came round and lashed out at a Varsity to get a statement from Mr been fantastic…they’ve shown that CUSU’s hands” had to treat one student and drunken paramedic, resulting in a formal com- Jeffries on whether or not his reaction you don’t need alcohol to have a good revellers seriously damaged college plaint to the college. could be considered proportionate, he time.” property. As a result the Senior Tutor, Another student spilt a bottle of red refused to comment on his decision. Girton Ents have a somewhat che- Andrew Jefferies, has closed the bar wine over several items of furniture in One second year student con- quered history. The Spring Ball was for at least a week and cancelled the the expensive Pear Trees area of the demned the decision as “a total over- marred by a conflict over security, with final freshers week ent planned for college, the “Honeymoon Suite” but reaction…grossly unfair to the fresh- Appleton telling Girtonians “forget any dents. It, however, does not today. An email he sent to the student has since accepted full responsibility ers,” while another said, “I think col- sad little ideas about getting in for free identify its carrier as a student. body stated that “college will not tol- and agreed to pay the cost of having it lege could have dealt with this with - its not gonna happen...when you get Current CUSU policy is erate the misuse and abuse of alco- repaired. No other student damage less drastic measures.” Freshers have cauught we’ll be taking a tidy £100 out opposed to the NUS Extra hol…The level of drunkenness and has been reported and Simon Burdus, voiced annoyance because the majori- of your bank account” before threaten- Card. However, although it is alcohol-induced damage occurring in the JCR President, confirmed that he ty of the trouble was caused by second ing to “feed offenders to the University producing its own alternative, the last two days is totally unaccept- and his team did not find any break- and third years. One said that he felt rottweillers”. There was also a serious great lengths have been gone to able and must stop.” ages during a full sweep of the college “let down” and believed that the sexual assault reported in May Week in an effort to let people know The night’s events are unclear but after the ent. Senior Tutor should “punish the per- 2005 in the aftermath of an ent. the difference between the two. Twenty thousand NUS Extra card application flyers have already been ordered and are avail on request. Syd Barrett memorial takes a stand The current card system may not be ideal, but there are a number of factors at play. The seeking planning permission from be built on green space somewhere NUS have changed their system JOHN WALKER Cambridge City Council to build a tall within the city. (despite much opposition) and sculpture of Barrett that will appear Mr. Johnson said, “Visiting this the fact that NUS Extra cards An Australian Pink Floyd enthusiast in silhouette against the midday sun. monument in Cambridge one day, we exist is out of CUSU’s hands. is leading a project to build a memori- can all gaze upon it one by one. It truly The existence of CUSU cards is al to former band member Syd will be a timeless project for future supported by a large number of Barrett in Cambridge. “one day, we can generations to wonder upon and pay recent motions at CUSU council Barrett founded the band in 1965 respect to Syd Barrett”. within the last academic year, a and won fame for songs such as all gaze upon it The Council’s Historical body on which every college has “Jugband Blues” and “Bike”. But he Environment Manager, John Preston, a voting representative. There became increasingly unable to cope one by one” said “I am not aware of anything like are a number of possibilities for with the pressures of life in the band. this having come forward to my improving the sys- He left Pink Floyd in 1968, following a department”. He added, “A monu- tem that will breakdown caused by psychedelic ment like this would be welcome in hopefully be drugs and lived out the rest of his life principle and situating a memorial in a discussed both in a modest house in Cambridge. He significant place for its subject is openly and died earlier this year. desirable. However, the impact on extensively Dion Johnson, the head of Astral The project was conceived after other significant places and buildings during the next Piper, the New Syd Barrett Barrett’s death in early July 2006 and must be considered”. academic year. Appreciation Society, suggested the Johnson and his society are relying on Dion Johnson can be contacted at memorial and has had his idea donations to meet the costs of any [email protected] approved by Barrett’s family. He is sculpture. They hope a memorial can Syd Barrett on stage in the 1960s Career plan With your potential, our future is in good hands. It starts with you.

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Tel: 01223 353 422 Newsdesk Email: [email protected] Roll me up a laptop On Campus Lemmings for No Lily, but a

AMY RUSSELL historians King-sized brain Enraged historians from around the King’s undergraduates, shocked by Cambridge engineers have developed University have been pouring out their the notable absence of supermodel new metal structures that could be rage at the faculty’s fresh-faced. The Lily Cole from the Matriculation used to create roll-up laptops within a hapless newbies had mistakenly been Photo, have instead spent their time few years. A team headed by Dr Keith sending their e-mail addresses to the trying to identify the genius in their Seffen, at the Department for faculty list for the last few days. But midst. New Natsci Nicole Atack, who Engineering, has spent four years the patrician restraint of their histori- hails from Essex, gained a formidable developing a range of “morphing” cal elders has finally snapped. One of 10 A grades at A-level. Whether this structures, for use in products poten- the first off the mark was long-haired feat is adequate compensation for the tially as diverse as reusable packag- socialist Reuben Bard-Rosenberg but loss of the model to the populace of ing, self-erecting tents and even com- his contribution was modest in compar- King’s remains to be seen. puter screens. ison to the interestingly attired Theo The material can adopt several Middleton. The King’s second year shapes without the need for complex treated the list to the wise words “you parts or sophisticated manufacturing are all lemmings”, pleading for them to techniques, and is highly durable. The “stop this madness”, before recom- result will be that of a “memory” of a mending that the undergrads “use this shape being imparted into the metal. list to disseminate your prize pearls of The team drew its inspiration from wisdom amongst your eagerly expec- slap bracelets that transform from a tant peers”. Historians of Cambridge, straight strip into a coil around the Dr Keith Seffen demonstrates his morphing structures EMILY WRIGHT be very afraid. wrist. The metal sheets, made from Want to be our mole in copper alloys, "snap" from one shape act” with each other in a positive way. of such vehicles could be changed to your college? into another; for example, from a flat When the new material is bent, the alter agility, handling and interaction sheet into a bent or twisted structure stress reaches a midway point and with airflow. Radical Greek Email [email protected] or a coil. then forces the structure into a differ- Although a similar project has been dictionary "If you think of bending a ruler,” ent shape, rather than breaking it. undertaken before in America, explained Seffen, “when you bend it And without the need for hinges, Seffen’s team is the first to have pro- The publication by CUP of their “rad- you are changing its shape and also latches and locks, Seffen believes that duced something that could be appli- ically new” Cambridge New Greek the stress within the structure. The the “basic assembly of a project” could cable in a commercial environment. Lexicon brought hoards of well-heeled shape and stress are interconnected, be produced “very quickly” and at He commented that the current explo- Freshers to the Sidgwick Site for the more shape changes, the greater “very low cost”. ration of the structure’s application in ‘Greek Week’. Eight years in the mak- the stress become, until eventually the The material has the potential to be “just the start of things” and that they ing, the new lexicon is the brainchild of object fails.” The team’s breakthrough used in the creation of shells of vehi- are “hoping to expand into a world the Classics Faculty’s Professor is that they have found a means to cles such as cars and aircraft. Using class research centre for this type of Diggle. Eagerly sipping her skinny make the shape and the stress “inter- the material, the aerodynamic profiles research”. latte with her Buttery chums, one bright-eyed young fresher told Varsity “it’ll be like a study aid sent »PAGE 31 down from Olympus”. Indeed. Discuss Cross Campus Derby dons’ red Durham drops “Fight card discipline beany bombshell fire with fire. A new behaviour management book Unhappy at their baked bean packag- by University of Derby academics has ing, a team of engineers at Durham Shag recommended the use of yellow and University took it upon themselves to loudly red “referee” cards to curb unruly spend their summers redesigning the classroom behaviour. 101 Essential humble tin can. Rather than simply and Lists for Managing Behaviour in the containing dinner, the can now also Early Years, written by a team of edu- provides a pan, a spoon and stove as often in cationalists, is described by the uni- well as fuel and matches. Designed to revenge” versity as a “must-have” for Primary be used in disaster areas the can costs School teaching. Aside from football a mere £1.30 to manufacture and after pitch discipline, the authors suggest heating its contents has enough fuel using “aggression cushions” and calm- left to boil 4.5 litres of water, enough to ing cushions”, as well as adapting toi- sustain someone for two days. Soon to let rolls to become “behaviour binocu- be seen floating in a canal near you. lars”, to scan the room for bad behav- iour. One of the writers, Simon Brownhill, has described the success It ain’t half of using the toilet rolls as “amazing”. dangerous here, Mum Not particularly Fresh-faced members of Reading manic street University were treated to a “Crime Reduction Lesson” by Thames Valley preaching Police during freshers’ week. Concerned that for many “this was the To complement the NUS national anti- first time that they had flown the nest,” top up fees campaign the extremely the new recruits offered advice from “if radical members of Cardiff University you hear footsteps behind you, turn and Students Union have penned a quick look” to “when you go home make sure ditty. The Welsh warblers’ tuneful ren- that you have your keys ready to open » dition of David Brent’s “Freelove the door”. Stressing that they “weren’t Freeway,” - cunningly retitled “Free trying to frighten anybody,” the police Love on the Fee Way,” - promises “to nevertheless advised students to “run set the campaign trail alight” according towards a busy place” if they thought to one activist. Opinion was, however, that they were being followed. Anyone divided with one student telling Varsity in need of further valuable advice was “it sounds like James Blunt on valium”. advised to contact the police station The NUS march is on Sunday October directly. sity.co.uk 29 from Malet Street, London.

6 varsity.co.uk/news | 06.10.06 News Investigation Cambridge: a disciplined system? »College disciplinary authorities do not adhere to their own regualtions »University disciplinary and complaints procedure “archaic”

tions between regulations and reality JO TRIGG & as practiced by Deans and Senior ALICE WHITWHAM Tutors. The similarities between college The collegiate system is lauded by disciplinary procedures are few. Each Cambridge for the benefits it offers in college has a Senior Tutor or Dean terms of teaching and welfare. But who deals with disciplinary matters, with 31 colleges comes 31 different and each threatens students with a 27 The Proctors and University Constabulary assembled for their annual sets of regulations, punishments and similar selection of punishments, disciplinary procedures. Gaining including warnings, fines, being the maximum punishment throws up yet more pit- list of college rules, Apter claimed “I access to these regulations under the banned from formal halls or other col- falls. The maximum fines threatened don’t like to punish, I just want to cor- Freedom of Information Act, Varsity lege occasions, rustication (being number of in college regulations range from £150 rect what’s wrong”. has this week revealed the huge dis- ordered to leave college accommoda- offences at any at Selwyn to £500 at Sidney Sussex. Independent of this array of college parities in the ways that colleges disci- tion) or in the most extreme cases, At New Hall, disconnecting a fire regulations and discretionary prac- pline their students and the contradic- being sent down. But here the similar- college last year alarm could cost a student £30, but a tices, the University also has its own ities end; the severity of the punish- penalty of up to £250 can be imposed disciplinary system. Regent House, University Discipline ments and the offences to which they at Robinson for “interfering with the University’s governing body, is are allocated vary hugely. equipment relating to fire detection or formally represented by a team of six Definitions One of the most marked differences control”. Proctors. Within the colleges though, between colleges’ disciplinary regula- When asked whether these regula- • Proctor: A Formal representa- tions found by Varsity is that of the tions could be standardised across the tive of Regent House. They quality of guidelines provided. Even University, college authorities were “if we still have ensure exams are properly con- basic comparisons between college sceptical. Keith Grange, Dean of ducted and oversee discipline regulations are problematic as the Selwyn, stressed that “Each case handcuffs, we and public order within the uni- information provided for students 23% should be judged on its own merit as versity. Two proctors are nomi- varies so widely. Whereas colleges there are almost always extenuating don’t know nated every May by colleges such as Newnham provide a detailed of colleges have circumstances”. He told Varsity, determined by an organised list of individual fines incurred by “There may be an argument for guide- where they are” rotation and then serve for one damage to college property, seven col- no standard lines, but I think standardisation year from October 1, assisted by leges responded to Freedom of would result in injustices being done”. Deputy Proctors and two Pro- Information requests by stating that punishments Terri Apter, Senior Tutor at Proctors. punishments are determined on a case Newnham, was similarly reluctant to by case basis. At these colleges there standardise. She argued “different cir- • The Constabulary: University are no set punishments for offences. cumstances require different actions”. Proctors have no official disciplinary Constables have all the power Where punishments are compara- But these fellows also showed a influence. They can accompany stu- of a constable within ble, Varsity has uncovered some vast reluctance to adhere to their college dents when they see their Senior five miles of Great St Mary’s differences. The majority of colleges regulations, of which their students Tutors, with the Senior Tutor’s per- Church and assist the Proctors, punish for unauthorised parties in col- are fully informed. Despite Selwyn mission, but punishments, such as the acting on a reactive basis when lege rooms, but opinions on what con- listing fines for both minor and major decision to send down a student, must disorder or demonstrations are stitutes a “party” differs. Whereas £350 offences in its regulations, Grange told be made by a college. expected. They also help with having six or more people in a room Varsity that he tries not to impose The role of Proctors, and the 20-30 security and crowd control at may endanger you with disciplinary difference fines on students, describing this form strong team of University Constables university ceremonies. The 20- action at Sidney Sussex, you would of punishment as “not appropriate”. who assist them, is to maintain disci- 30 constables include the need four more people and alcohol to between college Instead, he prefers to give offenders pline within a five mile radius of Great University Marshal and Vice- incur any punishment at Queens’. And community service, as in one case pro- St Mary’s Church. Within this area, Marshal. having deliberated what classes as an maximum fines filed by Varsity. And despite the constables have all the powers of offence, allocating the appropriate Newnham providing a very exacting regular policemen, and until the 1960s

The bishop’s ears you get through the door”. Snobbery under your skin. have once again been that wouldn’t perhaps surprise those And, lest the freshers feel left out of besmirched by sto- familiar with the “scene” – if only it this unholy mess, complaints have ries doing the hadn’t issued from the mouth of a con- been emanating from King’s about a rounds on the tributor… condom left outside the library which, Cambridge scene. But for those who tried to escape to upon a failed attempt to kick it, So how much of a Cambridge rebel are you It seems a cer- more exotic climes, recriminations splayed a clear substance onto the per- anyway? tain new maga- have followed. A certain lovely lady son’s shoe. For practical reasons one zine, whose indie who has been known to hang out close can only assume it was a separate inci- a) I’ve been put on the Senior Proctor’s speed dial list. credentials were to Po Na Na’s has discovered the neg- dent to the lesbian tryst conducted for b) My bedder took all morning to clear up the vomit. somewhat compromised by its city ative effects of allowing louses into her the benefit of a certain choirboy whose c) I occassionally take a shortcut across the college lawn. sponsorship, doesn’t seem to be going bed. Close contact with these tropical demeanour bears more than a passing d) I don’t even know who my Senior Tutor is. down too well with the punters. creatures (not known to be pit- resemblance to a root vegetable… » Poll results on page 31 Reports from the achingly trendy dwelling) has resulted in an unfortu- launch party included the sniffy com- nate attack of scabies. Watch out for Send your confessions to Vote online at varsity.co.uk ment “this looks like something that this one lads, she could really get [email protected]

varsity.co.uk/news | 06.10.06 7

Cancer researcher targets Huntingdon suppliers to ease conscience

deal with the lab. LUCY MCKEON Greg Avery, SHAC’s Press Officer, confirmed that he had met Harris A cancer research scientist was jailed “several” times at annual last month, following a one-man sabo- International Animal Rights tage campaign against three compa- Gatherings in Kent. Avery said Harris nies linked to a Cambridgeshire ani- was “just another campaigner”. mal testing lab. Harris is supported on both ALF-affil- Dr. Joseph Harris, 26, who was set iated and SHAC websites, where his for a “promising career” in research into gastro-intestinal cancer, was sen- tenced to three years on September “beliefs about 20 after causing over £25,000 worth of damage. Harris felt he was in an animal testing “increasing moral dilemma” as his beliefs about animal testing conflicted conflicted with with his work in molecular biology. He was reportedly galvanised into action work” after his girlfriend left him due to experimentation on animals by those photograph. The police force for the modern university? UNIVERSITY OF CAMBRIDGE in his field. In an apparent bid to ease his con- undertook regular street patrols. Procedure has attracted particular science, Harris targeted suppliers to prison details are given, and letters of Their roles since, apart from ceremo- Ewings: CUSU is criticism from the CUSU Executive. nearby Huntingdon Life Sciences, support are encouraged to be written. nial oaccasion, have been mainly to Mark Ferguson, CUSU President told Europe’s largest contract animal test- Avery described Harris’s sentence assist the Proctors in cases of disorder “not there to get Varsity that “as intelligent as ing lab. The suppliers themselves as “over the top, obscene... there was or demonstrations. Cambridge people are, some of the were not directly involved in animal nobody on the premises. You get more Former Proctor Dr Elisabeth people off” complaints procedures are very com- testing. Over a two-month period, for GBH”. Harris was the first person Leedham-Green told Varsity that the plicated”. He criticised the entire sys- Harris attacked companies in in Britain to be sentenced under new, Proctors aim at “the prevention of tem for being “a little bit archaic”. Bicester, Nottingham and tougher sabotage legislation, intro- trouble and protection of free speech”. Harriet Boulding, CUSU Women’s Northampton, where he spray-paint- duced to protect businesses. This law, For instance, while Proctor she was Officer, raised specific concerns about ed graffiti including “This company introduced last year, established present at animal rights demonstra- the panel which assesses the com- kills babies,” glued locks, slashed “interference with contractual and tions in order to both protect ment of compensation not exceeding plaints, describing the number of peo- tyres and flooded one building. similar relationships with the intention University buildings and to prevent £250”; a serious offence is dealt with ple on it as “too limited” and implying Harris also daubed “ALF” - the ini- of harming an animal research organi- students from “doing anything silly”. by the Court of Discipline. The Court that they are not properly trained to tials of the Animal Liberation Front, a zation” as an offence. This, Avery She also noted that it was always pref- has the power to impose sentences deal with such complaints. She added non-violent animal rights group - on explained, may have affected the erential, if students were breaking the including rustication, degree suspen- “At the moment no such panel is one wall. The court heard, however, length of Harris’s sentence; “As soon law in any way, that the Proctors and sion or deprivation, or may order organised in a way I’d like to see”. that he did not belong to any specific as you have an effect in multi-national Constables “get them before the “payment of compensation”. Anybody Although reforming the Complaints organisation. companies, these things take effect”. police do”. Under the current system, appearing before a University court is Procedure Panel is being treated as a Yet Harris was apparently involved Harris is a graduate of Nottingham students can be punished both by the offered free legal advice and represen- “long term project” by CUSU, they with another animal rights group: University, having conducted university and the police. But tation by the Faculty of Law. But are happy to help students dealing SHAC (Stop Huntingdon Animal research there and at the Queen’s Leedham-Green did confess “If we Leedham-Green stressed the proc- with the disciplinary or complaints Cruelty). The SHAC website listed Medical Centre in Nottingham. Both still have handcuffs we don’t know tors’ preference for “sorting things procedure. Although Dave Ewings, Huntingdon contacts, providing institutions declined to comment as he where they are!” out” at an informal level. CUSU Welfare Officer, stressed that Harris with targets. These have now was not employed by either at the Proctors have authority only over The only means by which students CUSU are “not there to get people been removed as the group no longer time of his arrest. junior members of the University. can make an official complaint within off”, he explained to Varsity that Any complaint against an undergrad- the University is by using the CUSU are happy to take on a case and uate is put before the University Complaints Procedure, which is bro- see how they can help. “We will do our Advocate to decide whether a charge ken down into three stages rising from best to get people through the situa- will be brought. A minor offence will college to University level, depending tion and explain the options to them” be referred to the Summary Court, on the seriousness of the complaint. he said. Leedham-Green praised the which has the “power to impose fines Within University procedures and union, saying “sometimes they not exceeding £175 and to order pay- regulations, the Complaints [CUSU] are very good indeed”. Case 1 Case 2 Case 3

As JCR President, Thomas* inter- John* and his uncle were drunk dur- On visiting a friend at another col- vened on behalf of a student who had ing the college’s designated quiet lege College, Ed* was stopped by invited friends to Selwyn, but not period. In response to a porter university constables on suspicion signed them in. Whilst drunk, one of telling John’s uncle that he should that the bike he was unlocking had the friends threatened a Porter. The “know better”, the latter replied, been stolen. They did not believe Dean ordered the student to move “What are you? A failed traffic war- that he was a member of Cambridge out of college, banned him from the den?” John was banned from the bar University, something which Ed bar for one year, and forbade him for a week and put under a curfew as believes was owing to his appear- from ever having guests. Thomas punishment for the offence. The ance, having just had his head highlighted the unfairness of holding Dean told John that he wanted to shaved at the barbers. He was him responsible for another’s mis- make an example of him to the rest accused of carrying a fake university conduct. Thomas, describing the of the college. John felt the punish- card, which they wished to confis- punishment as “a huge overreaction” ment was unjust as he was given no cate. Ed was forced to show the con- appealed to college authorities and opportunity to defend himself. He stables his bike registration at his the punishment was reduced to 40 commented that the general attitude college’s Porter’s Lodge after the hours service in college and a ban of the college to disciplinary matters incident and it was only then that from the bar for the rest of the year. is harsh. they realised their mistake. * All names have been changed to protect the identities of the individuals involved. The damage done by Joseph Harris NOTTS POLICE

8 varsity.co.uk/comment | 06.10.06 Comment Email: [email protected] Y E L S G N I K

Jacob M O T :

Bard-Rosenberg N O I T A R T S U L L I Do mention the war The importance of respecting JSoc’s diversity

srael’s incursion into Lebanon itself a political act. It suggests that was probably the most there should be no regrets over what notable global event over the happened in Lebanon, and that per- summer break. My email forming such a service for Israel is inbox, usually laden with something to be glorified. It implies spam, was filled with an that the life of Rabbi Fish is worth Iinflux of reports, links to newspaper more than the lives of others – does articles, and advertisements for he really think that the Lebanese protests. don’t have young families too? It sug- The conflict troubled many Jews. gests the Jewish community of Hezbollah’s anti-Semitism came as an Cambridge should support his actions assault, not only to Israel as a state, and be thankful for the risk that he is U-turn if you like? but to Jews internationally. Could the taking. Israeli attack be seen as an attempt I asked myself what could justify to defend the global Jewish popula- an email like this. It wasn’t justifiable tion, and what sort of attack would be on religious grounds. The Ten Death becomes him but old cows won’t leave him justified by such reasoning? Commandments don’t read: “Thou alone The Jewish population of Britain is shalt not kill unless thy neighbour a plural one. Many Jews are non- kidnaps a soldier in thy neighbour’s Zionist, some are anti-Zionist, while territory,” or “Thou shalt not covet many feel a strong relationship to thy neighbour’s house unless thy cle in the Guardian, claiming the ani- in an instant. Israel, but are critical of its actions in neighbour fires Katyusha rockets”. mal world had taken ‘rightful Take the saga of Kate Moss. OK, the last few months. There are also The reasoning was entirely political. revenge’ on Irwin triggered a mas- she was never really an angel, but the hardcore who defend every one of These were politics of nationalism Jo sive outcry in Australia and overseas once those infamous Daily Mirror Israel’s political and military moves. and imperialism. Political engage- - one Sydney newspaper even sent photos of her appeared she was Superimposed on this diverse com- ment is no bad thing, but it is a gross Heath her a Hannibal-esque muzzle in the branded a dirty junkie and a horrible munity is Cambridge University oversimplification to demand that our post. mother, monikers much worse than Jewish Society (JSoc). Whilst only a politics is defined by our Jewish iden- I can’t help wondering whether the anything that came before. She swift- proportion of the Jews are members, tity. To define or reihify it is to under- anger against Greer was really just ly lost a bunch of contracts and many more are on this organisation’s mine the diverse character of the , along with all other kind because she was one of the few who retreated from the public eye giving Jewish community. folk, was saddened by the resisted the temptation to perform a many cause to predict her downfall. JSoc exists to provide services and death in September of Steve huge somersault in judgement when But it wasn’t long before Moss - “Jewishness is a social base for all Jews in Irwin, croc hunter extraordi- Irwin died. Though everyone else undoubedly with the help of some Cambridge who wish to become naire and endless fountain of was eager to re-write their opinions slick PR - won back those contracts, not an involved, and as such should be inclu- enthusiasm-bordering-on- of him, Greer went ahead and pub- appeared on the covers of French sive. There is no doubt that emails Icraziness. lished a damning article critiquing his Vogue and became the comeback girl, immutable set of such as this one that undermine inclu- Good old Steve had a kind of cult- invasive style of documentary-mak- who ventured down the wrong road sivity. I, for one, feel excluded know- hero status in England and the US, once but cleaned herself up in the imperatives” ing that such material is freely sent or so I hear - I grew up in Australia, kind of rehab centre only very rich around without any criticism. I can- and was welcomed with many refer- “before his addicts can afford. And all this hap- not be part of an organisation that ences to Australia’s greatest ambas- pened in the space of less than a year. justifies murder in the name of sador during Fresher’s Week last death he was If opinions in the media can change defending the global Jewish commu- year (along with the obligatory con- as suddenly as this, how much credi- nity. ‘Jewishness’ is a diverse and vict – and Ashes –related comments). treated with a bility can they have? Admittedly, I mailing lists (as a result of signing up evolving identity that should reflect I was surprised at how well-known know very few people who model at the Freshers’ Fair, or other all those who identify themselves as he was outside of Australia - because mixture of their own opinions on what the events). On the whole, JSoc seems to Jewish, not an immutable set of within the land of sea and sun he was tabloid media have to say (such a per- align itself with the most religious imperatives. The assault on Lebanon by no means a popular figure. bemusement, son would verge on the schizophrenic, (often more right-wing) elements of cannot be justified simply as a People knew of him, but before his I imagine: ‘Angelina Jolie is such a the Jewish community, so its defence of the ‘Jewish People’. CUSU death he was treated with a mixture embarrassment beautiful, wholesome woman - no, attempts to act as the representative has a no-platform policy against racist of bemusement, embarrassment and wait, she’s a dirty rotten home- body of all Jewish students at best organisations, and I fail to see why outright antagonism. And yet, when and downright wrecker!’), and some of the stuff writ- conceal and at worst stifle the diver- the Israeli Defence Force, who freely he died, his death was the major antagonism” ten, spoken or aired in the media is sity and wide range of political ideas engage in mass murder and ethnic newspiece for days – there were trib- meant to be taken lightly. But all this within the community. cleansing are not one of the organisa- utes in every paper, special editions leaves little space for honest opinion I was shocked last week by an tions refused a voice. of TV current-affairs shows, and that is consistent over time. email from Rabbi Ori Fish, last year’s We must fight not only against the footage galore of teary-eyed children I’m not saying Germaine Greer Jewish Chaplain in Cambridge, politics that Ori Fish's email defends placing flowers at the gates of should be applauded, but I do think proudly stating that he had been – that of illegitimate military action, Australia Zoo. Any negative senti- ing. The lady was not for turning, it it’s important for things to be pub- fighting in the North with the Miluim but also the dangerous tolerance of ment against him – like the kind that would seem. lished that countervail whatever (reservists). Attached were two pho- propaganda that allows such an email built up after the almost-feeding- The thing is, had her article been mainstream opinion dictates at the tos of him wielding a machine-gun, to be sent. A true understanding of baby-Bob-to-a-croc incident quickly published before his death, it barely time, even if they incur the kind of and one of him with his young family. any situation can arise only through disappeared. And then along came would have registered in the public wrath Greer did. My initial reaction was one of disgust. open debate, based on dynamic argu- Germaine Greer. consciousness, but once we decided So, to all those journalists out How could he glorify his role in a con- ments rather than static identities. It Good old Germy – she really can be he was an all-round good guy, a there, take a deep breath, stop hyper- flict that has led to the internal dis- should not attempt to impose the counted on to put in a crotchety Wildlife Warrior – anything said ventilating and come up with stable placement of 1.2 million Lebanese cit- political ideas of those in power on an mean-spirited comment wherever against him was an outrage. views and opinions on important izens, the murder of over 1,000 civil- entire community, and which does not one is needed. If Steve and Germaine Public opinion can be tremendously issues – like whether or not Brad and ians, and the use of cluster-bombs glorify the barbaric actions of a right- had ever met in real life I think he’d fickle when it comes to its view of Angelina will last the year. throughout southern Lebanon, mak- wing Rabbi/soldier in the name of have snuck up behind her (‘Crikey! certain characters. When the aurora ing it impossible for some people to defending the global Jewish commu- Take a look at this one!’), tackled her popularis is blowing in the right return home? nity. and sent her back into the river along direction individuals are transformed Sending such an email doesn’t only with other scaly creatures. Her arti- from demons to angels, or vice versa, defend certain political acts, but is

varsity.co.uk/comment | 06.10.06 9

Email: [email protected] Tel: 01223 353 422 Editorial 11-12 Trumpington Street, Cambridge. CB2 1QA

Harry Time to grow up? Hewlett Fatherhood changes you The Well-Educated eing a college parent The first was to take up some fulfill- want to. The things I did want to do I has numerous advan- ing new activity and the second com- was doing already. The trouble is a tages compared to the plete denial. The former choice bit of casual sport, formal swaps and Undergraduate? real thing – at the very seemed more hard work but ulti- Cindy’s is not particularly original, Alison Richard’s speech on Monday argued that the University’s least there’s no pocket mately worth it. This left me with the nor will it light up a CV. Or make my primary focus should be on teaching rather than on research. She also emptying beyond that question – what on Earth could I do children excited at the prospect of raised the idea of broadening the range of subjects offered in the Bobligatory first pint. What is more, that would make me feel as if I had meeting me, for that matter. But hey, humanities tripos. We are fortunate to study in an institution that you get to shock your real parents made the most of uni? I’m not especially bothered. with the news that not only did you Glancing down the list of The arrival of children has not, seems generally sensitive to the fact that there are as many different get married last term, but you are Cambridge societies and sports I was after this reflection, been too bad. ways of learning as there are of teaching. New students at Cambridge expecting a kid in October. surprised to find many I thought I Time spent so far at Cambridge has will be overwhelmed by what is expected of them, but also perhaps However Cambridge’s new fledg- might like. However as I pondered not been used to do worthy but dull pleasantly surprised by the freedoms they are given in order to fulfil lings share something rather sinister more closely each interesting new things, nor things that ‘ought’ to have their academic potential. We can often decide how we learn; depending with their biological counterparts, the society or extreme sport I had yet to been done to make more exciting on our subjects, some of us choose whether we attend all, some or no lec- first effects of which became obvious try a distinct feeling of annoyance reading. tures at all. We can choose whether we want to learn aurally or from a in a seemingly innocent email before came over me- none the activities By remaining stubborn and finding book. Some people have nocturnal study habits, and we don’t all work the start of term. truly suited what I wanted to do with good excuses not to do the right thing with a perfect consistency through the term. Oxford University The JCR Freshers’ Officer, igno- my remaining two years. I have, despite these new appeals to announced this year that it would monitor individual students’ atten- rant of what he was about to cause, The problem was that I decided not my parental sense of responsibility, sent all of us nervous soon-to-be-par- to do these things last year for one stayed a teenager – long may that dance at lectures and supervisions, making a certain level of attendance ents an email asking us for a descrip- very good reason – I didn’t really continue! compulsory. Here, however, we are still given the choice and we are therefore allowed to play to our strengths and find out our weaknesses. tion of ourselves and our Cambridge T N experience so far which he could pass U It seems, however, that there is a rather tricky balance here. On the H

on to our children. He added ‘try not S one hand, we are given a responsibility to take advantage of our free- E to spend more than half an hour on L U dom and to forge a reputation for ourselves as people who want to J it’. :

N learn, rather than as students who find knowledge thrust upon us. This O Half an hour! I was done in two I

T responsibility gives us the opportunity to silence the critics who accuse A

minutes flat – a whole year in two R

T us of drinking away our student loans, or watching the goings-on in sentences – with most of that time S U

L Ramsay Street more avidly than our academic progress. On the other

spent agonising over whether regular L attendance at Cindy’s counted as an I hand, as Varsity’s investigation into college discipline procedure this achievement. In the last year had I week shows, there are times when the University will clamp down hard filled the unforgiving minute with when students push certain boundaries. sixty seconds worth of distance run? This week’s events have shown that we often miss opportunities to Clearly not. Bloody kids – something use the freedom that we have been given in the most constructive ways. had to be done. It might seem unfair that Girton closed its bar this week due to drunk- A common sight in many affluent en antics, but it really does feel a shame that so few students were pres- town centres is the bearded, greying ent at the protest on Thursday morning outside King’s, and it is likely man in a flashy, fast car (normally that this turnout didn’t represent a lack of student dissent. I hope that with no passengers). For a moment I felt jealous of these men – at least those who stayed away weren’t too busy nursing their hangovers. their mid-life crises could be solved with a quick swipe of a credit card. Given my entire student loan could On Life and Style only get me a six year old Ford To present such an extensive Lifestyle section in a student publication Fiesta, I was left with two options. might to some seem both indulgent and even pretentious. But Varsity would like to defend its apparently extravagant use of column space. Cambridge students in particular seem to live by the old adage, ‘work hard, play hard’. But sometimes playing soft can be beneficial as well. You don’t have to live on baked beans to live cheaply. Explore Ethics Girl Cambridge’s local shops, and cook yourself some good, simple food. For under twenty pounds, you can leave the CB postcode behind. Burst the Tess Riley Cambridge bubble as often as possible. You’ll enjoy the hard graft all the more knowing that you can.

The Independent Cambridge ince last week was sex, I this era of increasing warnings, how- Junglas is the same country that pro- Student Newspaper since 1947 thought I’d take drugs ever, there has been an inversely vides Colombia with its primary mar- Varsity has been Cambridge’s independent student newspaper since 1947, and distributes 10,000 free copies this week. It’s cocaine I’m proportional rise in the use and trade ket. Indeed, North America remains to every Cambridge college and ARU weekly. Varsity is proud to be the holder of numerous student media particularly interested in. of illegal narcotics. And it’s no longer the biggest single market for drugs awards and a vast number of alumni now working in international media. Varsity also publishes BlueSci Cocaine has many paral- just weed that floats one’s boat. worldwide. Moreover, while officials magazine, The Mays, and an online edition at www.varsity.co.uk, and broadcasts weekly on CUR1350. lels with sex. Sort of. Ninety per cent of the world’s say that ‘Plan Colombia’ – to combat Board of Directors: Dr. Michael Franklin (Chair), Prof. Peter Robinson, Mr Tim Harris, Mr Tim Moreton, Ms Amy Goodwin (Varsoc President), Mr Tom Walters, Mr Christopher Adams, Mr Michael Derringer, Mr SCoke is a stimulant that causes a cocaine is grown in Colombia, where cocaine production – is working well, Christopher Wright, Ms Emily Stokes and Mr Joseph Braidwood feeling of exhilaration and decreases peasant farmers rely for survival on the fact that cocaine is more readily Editor Emily Stokes [email protected] Associate Editors Mary Bowers and Was Yaqoob appetite; sex is an exhilaration that the income from the coca leaf. No available than ever before, and with [email protected] Chief News Editors Joseph Gosden and Jamie Munk [email protected] causes a feeling of stimulating longer controlled by drugs barons, a falling street-price, suggests that Features Editor Ed Blain [email protected] Features Associate Editor Katie Craig Arts Editor appetite. The former requires snort- the cocaine industry is fought over something is not right. Jonny Ensall [email protected] Arts Associate Editor Rhiannon Adam Interviews Editor Tess Riley [email protected] Interviews Associate Editor Natalie Woolman Sports Editor Helen Mort ing, the latter induces snorting; in by two armed groups, the Marxist Meanwhile vast swathes of the [email protected] Sports Associate Editor Sophie Pickford [email protected] both cases, the entrance of sub- guerrillas (FARC) and the right-wing Amazonian rainforest are being Online Editor Joe Braidwood [email protected] Online Team Joe Osborne, Richard Zito, Stuart stances into the body is fairly likely paramilitaries, who fight over land deforested to make way for coca leaf Tickner and Oran Kiazim [email protected] unless your line’s not drawn well or and manufacture sites. plots that deplete the soil, destroy News Editors Joanna Trigg, Gabriel Byng and Tom Parry-Jones [email protected] News Reporters Nikki Burton and John Walker Comment Editor Natalie Whitty [email protected] Discuss Editor you don’t withdraw well. Either way, To combat the cocaine ‘laborato- natural habitats, and remove the car- Catherine Hall [email protected] Science Editor Udayan Bhattacharya [email protected] Science you’re fucked. ries’, Junglas (Jungle Men) – an elite bon-dioxide-absorbing trees. Associate Editor Mico Tatalovic Restaurant Critics Martha Spurrier and Mathilda Imlah [email protected] Lifestyle Editors Saskia Payne and Carol Peacock [email protected] My parents. Emerging from the anti-narcotics unit funded and So what is the answer? The Fashion Editors Olivia Johnson and Rosanna Falconer [email protected] Literature Editors Lucy hippy generation with Sandie-Thom- trained by the USA – scours the destruction of coca farmers’ liveli- McSherry and Andy Wimbush [email protected] Music Editors Freya Jonson Ross and Katy Wells like flowers in their hair, they lived in Colombian rainforest from artillery- hoods should not be an excuse to con- [email protected] Theatre Editor Hermione Buckland-Hoby [email protected] Visual Arts Editor Jonny Yarker [email protected] Screen Editor Olly Riley-Smith [email protected] Classical an age when the Beatles ruled the loaded helicopters. Landing in areas tinue the illegal production of dan- James Drinkwater [email protected] world, orange and brown were suspected to be manufacture sites, gerous narcotic substances. But Sub-editors and Design Emma Jamison, Carrie Raynham and Jessi Baker Features Design Kiera Jamison colours invented for the sole purpose the teams blow up drugs factories while the market for cocaine thrives, [email protected] Picture Editor Ben Jones [email protected] Photo Editors Emily Wright and of colouring carpets, and smoking and spray coca fields with poison. there will always be people willing to Alexandra Constantinides [email protected] weed was a social norm. But how effective is this? It is the meet that demand. In the developed Business Manager Adam Edelshain [email protected] Production and Chief Designer Michael Derringer [email protected] Technical Director Michael Derringer and Chris Wright technical- Flash forward forty years to my shanty-dwelling farmers who this world, we are continuously faced [email protected] Company Secretary Patricia Dalby [email protected] own school days. Taught from the destroys, not the paramilitaries, with choices about how we choose to Varsity is published by Varsity Publications Ltd. and printed by Cambridge Newspapers Ltd. All copyright is the age of five to “say no to strangers” guerrillas, and corrupt government spend our time and our money. exclusive property of Varsity Publications Ltd. and “look left, right, and left again”, I officials helping export the drug Personally, I choose sex over No part of this publication is to be reproduced, stored on a retrieval system or submitted in any form or by any was petrified of taking aspirin in case across national borders. drugs. As an Ethics Girl, I know it’s means, without prior permission of the publisher. © Varsity Publications Ltd, 2006. 11-12 Trumpington St., Cambridge CB2 1QA Tel: 01223 337575 Fax: 01223 it became a ‘habit’. Coinciding with Ironically, the country funding the much better for the environment. 352913

Turn to page 25 or lift up Arts and Features for more discussion

10 varsity.co.uk/discuss | 06.10.06

Email: [email protected] Turn to page 31 or lift up Arts and Features for more discussion Discuss Tel: 01223 353 422

»Post from Paris »Letter of the week ‘Banning the Rentals does little to address the issue of students’ alchohol consumption’ response to last summer’s events. dents depend on excessive amounts Tell Varsity what’s on Robinson will indeed be a much of alcohol. At the very least they your mind - each Alicia Spencer-Joynes pleasanter place without a ‘society’ should consider donating this money which epitomises many of the nega- to an organisation such as the week, the best letter am not a flâneur, or rather I tive stereotypes with which all University Counselling Service or will win a am not a flâneuse. I do not Cambridge students are tarnished. Alcoholics Anonymous. specially wish to stroll around the So a big pat on the back to Dr Guild Alternatively they could use it to selected seediest parts of Paris to dis- for doing something that should have expand the college’s effort to discour- bottle of wine cover “authentic” life in its been done long ago. I would however age excessive alcohol consumption, from our purest, filthiest form. I’m in a like to ask what Robinson College is which at present consists of a single friends at Iminority. planning to do with (something in the letter before the start of May Week Each year, Quentin intrepidly sets region of £1300) that they raised in and an odd letter of complaint when Cambridge out for Paris to experience sex, vio- fines. Excuse my cynicism, but I there’s some sick outside the SCR. Wine lence and rebellion. This involves pos- can’t help but think that this money Merchants, ing in cafés pretending to read Dear Sir, will disappear into the college’s back Yours sincerely, King’s Baudelaire. He stares, deep in pocket. Banning the Rentals and Girl Parade thought, at passersby, oblivious of I can’t say that I felt any sympathy Fridays, while looking good for the Alex Corbishley these petits gens with their petites for the Rentals while reading Gabriel college, does little to address the Robinson vies. He smokes (but never inhales) Byng’s report on the college’s underlying issue that too many stu- countless Gauloises. Each year, he makes a pilgrimage to his favourite street artist, whose canvases depict »And the rest... morose parisiennes against the back- drop of the city’s exquisite architec- Dear Sir, dealt with in Africa. He does not con- sidekick. Edward Mortimer spoke of first issue of the term; aside from your ture. Quentin buys one, and tips the sider that when you help people, you ‘progress on the Shebaa Farms’, teeth-gnashing mistake on page 2 artist generously. Ashley Elliot’s column on volunteer have to deal with the situation on the which as you tell us is land occupied by (Can I check that the main text tells He walks purposefully to the banks tourism reveals him in many ways to ground, no matter how distasteful it is. Israel and claimed by Lebanon. The the truth and that we are in fact sec- of the Seine, takes a knife from his be the very thing he attacks: an ideal- Generally, the corruption is at least Shebaa Farms are recognised by the ond place in the rankings?) the paper coat pocket and cuts his newly ist who thinks he knows everything part of the reason why people need UN as part of the Golan Heights, has a professional appearance and tal- acquired painting in two. He hurls just because he has travelled a bit. help. Like most idealists, now that he Syrian land which Israel occupied in ented writers. both sections into the murky river Just because he saw corruption while has been disillusioned, he rejects the self-defence in 1967. Lebanon, and I was hiking around Homerton’s with a small triumphant yelp. This working with the UN and in his expe- possibility of helping others, prefer- Hezbollah, only began making a fuss many miles of boggy ground when I Quentin has done every year for the riences with volunteer tourists does ring to sink into de facto isolationism. over the land when Israel withdrew stopped for game sandwiches and past five years. He explains: “in Paris, not mean that all such charitable trav- Rather than finding a solution, he just from Lebanon in 2000. In other words, whiskey; my laughter at Tess Riley’s you’ve got to go a bit mad, let out the elling is a bad thing. First, he seemed suggests giving up and going home. the Shebaa Farms are a pretext for excellent exposé of “Green Sex” from tortured artist in oneself…destroy to expect that he would be working The current framework of interna- Hezbollah continuing hostilities with Japan vastly improved the long walk some art so the spirit of creativity with a group of ascetics, not with real tional welfare may not be great, but it the Jewish state. ‘Progress on the back to college. never gets complacent.” people. He was shocked that the char- is better than nothing. Shebaa Farms’ ought therefore to Can I add that if Owen Saxton’s I came to Paris because Cambridge ity workers did not live with the peo- mean Syria finally recognising Israel’s scrutiny of Facebook profiles (page 4) University told me I had to. I’m too ple they helped, apparently failing to Sincerely, right to exist. In return, Israel will is taking over his (presumably rather poor to install water purifying sys- reflect that this is the usual situation then give back the Golan Heights, just important) day job, I declare myself tems in Guadeloupe, too cynical to whenever there are rich and poor peo- Michael P. Gallen as it gave the Sinai back to Egypt in happy to trade places with him? I’ll preach in rural Africa, and apparently ple. One rarely sees members of the St. John’s accordance with UN Security Council enjoy his generous salary, and he can unemployable. I came here with an House of Lords living in housing proj- Resolution 242. enjoy many more pleasant hours on Erasmus grant and an accidental place ects. If some decent conditions were Dear Sir, said web-based program. He can even at the Sorbonne. On my first night- not on offer for the charity workers Eddy Rogers check my profile to gauge my suitabil- time foray into the Parisian underbel- and volunteers, in all likelihood no one The participants in your symposium Fitzwilliam ity for the post… ly, I went to the supermarket at half would volunteer at all. Even a little on the Lebanon conflict neglected to nine and bought nine limes. help would be better than no help. He mention some crucial facts. Dear Sir, Jeremiah Scrote Thereafter, I tried to recreate the is further dismayed by the corruption Worryingly, the greatest ignorance Homerton womb-like security of Cambridge. I of some officials and companies he was displayed by Kofi Annan’s own First of all, congratulations for the stayed in my studio and watched Grey’s Anatomy for three whole days. I didn’t trash the Louvre, nor drink a blindness-inducing amount of Way Back When: Varsity Archives absinthe in a cellar bar in Montmartre. I’m acclimatising to life post- Cambridge - inching slowly away from »November 24th 1951: Battle in the »December 1st 1951: All Quiet on the narcotizing comfort and routine of early morning the Backs Cambridge life where people collect your post, cook your meals, and even possession of a note addressed ‘To reporters from London and a care if you don’t hand in an essay. The my lady’, which should have crowd of about seventy waited to MML department lied to me: it’s not accompanied the gift. He demand- see a duel. It might have been the all one big adventure. It’s hard work. ed an explanation, which was not first public duel of the century. It’s trying to speak to people you don’t forthcoming. After an exchange of The duel had been called off know and who aren’t interested in letters it became apparent that because of the nation-wide publici- you, in a language which is a stranger there was only one way of settling ty it had occasioned. After an to you. Even going into shops I know the matter. The protagonists, exchange of letters, the offending I’ll make a fool of myself - ask for some although formerly good friends, party had apologised, and a recon- bread only to be presented with a now only bow coldly when they ciliation was effected. An under- dead beaver. meet and communicate with each standing had been reached, where- The authenticity of my life here in other through their seconds. by the honour of both parties was fact depends on doing normal, every- The challenger still considers he respected. day things, becoming someone who has a right to an explanation. But A friend of one of the rivals told takes living in Paris for granted - even the writer of the note, when asked a reporter that the evening before with all its art and grandeur and peo- yesterday if he considered himself there was every intention of carry- ple who rather inconveniently speak a the offending party, said: “No, I do ing out the contest. “One was going different language. At this point, not think the other gentleman has to lie down and bleed like a pig,” he Cambridge is not in another country, it any absolute right over the lady. I explained. He was extremely dis- is in another world. shall defend my honour to the appointed at the latest turn of Tomorrow I might venture out for a n ‘affair of honour’ is last.” He added: “it is a great pity events. He had risen at 7.30. “The walk around my arrondissement. If I to be settled with pis- that our ship of friendship has earliest I have got up since leaving spy any starving street artists, I tols on Trinity Backs been wrecked upon these rocks.” the Army,” he commented. “You might buy a painting. If I happen to next Thursday morn- The lady as yet knows nothing n Trinity Backs in the can rest assured there will be a see a young man dangling a painting ing at 8.45. It arises about the affair. Efforts have been cold early morning on lynching after this” he said. over the Seine, I might be tempted to from a gift sent by a made to keep it from her. But she Thursday, ten Press In the ‘30s, the Editor of push him in. You don’t need to destroy Agentleman of Trinity to a lady of declared yesterday: “I am distract- photographers, a “Varsity Weekly” was challenged art in Paris – the art is in learning to Girton. An acquaintance of the ed by the rumours I have heard.” cameraman from to a duel by an American under- live here. lady’s, also at Trinity, came into O Television Newsreel, graduate. The police intervened.

Features Arts &Friday October 6 2006 | Issue 641

FASHION P 18 Skinny and fat: its in the jeans

ARTS P20 Comic timing for the graphic novel

LITERATURE P27 The Booker Prize reviewed

MUSIC P 24 Queer as Folk: the return of a PROTEST OR PRIVILEGE? genre

12 varsity.co.uk/features | 06.09.06 Student Apathy Too Protected To the Barricades! Cambridge should be more than just the anteroom to fortune, says Imogen Walford here’s a genocide in Darfur. War in cial stances on extra-Cambridge politics. Rwanda, Darfur or Chechnya. There’s a Lebanon. Chaos in Afghanistan. And This is understandable: it might have offend- grand total of 17 members of the CU Tall while climate change seems ever ed those who were for the Iraq war if their Palestine Society. Political passion might not more irreversible. Do you give up on it all university was campaigning against it on always manifest itself via a Facebook group, and head back to the library? Or do you try their behalf. But CUSU have also been but even so it’s embarrassingly low. to make a difference? noticeably silent on student political issues. Sitting in our Ivory towered bubble, in a Giving up time to protest can seem point- It’s been left up to King’s students to protest cushy consumer society, with a centrist less, particularly when “only” a student. But against top-up fees this week. And in domestic political arena, it’s easy to justify a being politically involved doesn’t have to be Cambridge’s rare moment of political protest ‘me-me-me’ attitude. It’s not just that about opposition, just about engagement. two years ago, against the closure of the Cambridge students aren’t running off to Why are Cambridge students so apathet- architecture department, the Socialist Africa to give out medicine; they’re actively ic? It’s not that people in the University Workers’ Party logo was the most conspicu- joining GlaxoSmith Kline or Goldman Sachs aren’t politically aware; students can get ous on the banner outside Senate house. in search of a bonus. their Hutus and their Tutsis the right way Is CUSU out of step with the student A Cambridge degree is not just a “don’t round and know their Janjaweed from their body? Sadly, it seems not. The famous King’s pass go” card into a high-paying job. It could Mujaheddin. But they don’t do anything red bar is airport lounge cream: the hammer be an opportunity to question your beliefs, about it. Our apathy is not a lack of interest; and sickle bears the inscription ‘In memori- take a stance and maybe even make a it’s a lack of passion. am’. A quick trawl through the Facebook change for the better. Or at least take ‘apa- Look at CUSU, voice of the student body. reveals that Cambridge students haven’t set thetic’ off your Facebook profile. They decided last year not to take any offi- up any groups containing the words What Barricades? British student politics has always been more about the ballot box than s banners, as Ed Blain discovers ineteen sixty-eight. Paris burns as in Britain because they are unnecessary. active support of only a small number. students take to the streets, fighting In Iran students are forced to take to the A common explanation, put forward by Nrunning battles with the police and streets because they have no other option Imogen Walford above, is that the break- inspiring nine million workers to strike open to them. In Britain they know from down of polarised politics since the late

e against Charles de Gaulle’s autocratic gov- experience that a letter to a newspaper or 1980s has created crushing student apathy. ernment. In Czechoslovakia university stu- their MP is less risky and often more effec- But Varsity polls suggest this is not the dents are central in the brief opening up of tive. We may deplore top-up fees, but we case. the Prague Spring; hundreds are killed, have to admit that they are nowhere near as In the late sixties, a time that in the folk wounded or exiled when Soviet troops crush polarising as living under an Islamic theoc- memory seems the heyday of student the movement. In Cambridge, Varsity racy. activism, almost half of Cambridge students

r breathlessly reports the latest: When Cambridge students do try to considered themselves politically apathetic. ‘The Red Flag fluttered over King’s excite mass protest, the result is a farce This week a similar poll asked students Chapel for two days this week, having the because they lack a cause important enough whether they would vote in a general elec- distinction of being the only political gesture to unite the university. The Great Sit-In of tion tomorrow. More than two thirds said recently to have any impact. No one knows ’69 saw 450 students occupying a hall on Mill they would. Perhaps a hundred votes in the who put it there and the minute it was Lane. Their demands were not World Peace ballot box may be more effective in the long noticed it was taken down. So much for ges- or an end to the Vietnam War, but a central term than a hundred marchers in King’s tures.’ student bar and the removal of spikes from Parade. The activists may bemoan the lack Student protest has never been much in college walls. No wonder they were evicted of sit-ins and soap-boxes in today’s u vogue in Britain, and is rarer still at after a few days by a bunch of counter-revo- Cambridge. But it seems that with their Cambridge. This is partly because we very lutionaries who wanted to use the room for passing the silent majority is more willing to rarely suffer music practice. make itself heard. oppression or In 2003 a serious student move-

t unfairness on a ment did form to oppose the scale that would Iraq war,but even that motivate thou- attracted the sands of people. Mass protests of the kind that give student activists wet

a dreams are unusual e M A D A

N O N N A I

H F R

varsity.co.uk/features | 06.09.06 13

NUMBER CRUNCHING to Protest? 18,000 Students at Cambridge 3,584 Amnesty mailing list Top-up fees are with us, Cambridge Students Against the applications are down 3.5%, 600 Arms Trade mailing list and only one College JCR per cent of Freshers don’t know the difference bothers to protest. 100 between CUSU and the Cambridge Union Society Imogen Walford, Ed Blain, and per cent of second and third year stu- Tess Riley ask: 10 dents still don’t know the difference Where has all the passion gone?

t 21-years-old, Joss Garman Studies, in London. For many students into NATO HQ in Brussels in a day of action a pacifist? “Yes. Property damage isn’t vio- has been arrested over approaching their final year, their biggest to banish US nukes from Europe. Yet, he is a lent and neither, necessarily, is breaking the twenty times. A serial worry is a looming dissertation. And how to charming, polite person to talk to and, as the law. Direct action simply means physically young offender? If so, why fold a Walkers crisp packet into a perfect tri- winner of an Anne Frank Award for Moral preventing something from happening – be is he on a platform at the angle. Courage for his campaigning work, he is that war, climate change or pollution.” prestigious Edinburgh Garman, however, barely bats an eyelid clearly willing to put his metaphorical money So where does this impressive attitude International Book Festival when finals come up in conversation. He is where his mouth is and that deserves some come from? Garman was brought up in a 2006A amongst the likes of Harold Pinter and more preoccupied by the current global respect. “beautiful part of Mid-Wales” and educated Seamus Heaney? I met him in London two destruction of the planet. I am relieved to Garman is wary of suggesting that being at his local comprehensive. An avid Gerald weeks later to find out. hear that he does not believe it is too late to arrested is the only way to go about making Durrell fan, his first involvement with I first knew of Joss Garman when he par- combat climate change. And if it were? “We a difference but he does not exclude illegal Greenpeace was a result of his love of ani- ticipated in a climate change debate I attend- can’t just sit and do nothing. Now is the time activity as part of a solution. When he broke mals. Who inspires him now? “Primarily ed this summer. His passionate engagement to act, not tomorrow”. into Northwood Military Headquarters in other activists who are willing to put their with the subject, combined with factual accu- Action is Garman’ solution. An active cam- London (the control centre for Britain’s liberty on the line”, including those he racy, makes him precisely the kind of person paigner since his teens, he invaded nuclear weapons), for example, the property worked with on board the Greenpeace ship, to encourage others to take an interest in Scotland’s Faslane – the home port to the damage he caused he justifies by looking at Esperanza, to stop imports of illegally what even Tony Blair calls “the biggest UK’s four nuclear armed submarines – aged the wider picture. He was “acting to prevent logged Indonesian timber. Monbiot also rates threat facing humanity”. 16, as part of Trident Ploughshares’ disarma- a greater crime – the threat of illegal and very highly in his books. I was surprised to discover that Garman is ment campaign. He has had several unpleas- indiscriminate nuclear weapons of mass So how much does this impact upon his an undergraduate, going into his final year at ant encounters with authority, including destruction.” In court, the judge saw his personal life? “Something like this becomes SOAS The School of Oriental and African being beaten up by riot police as he broke point, praising Garman and co-accused for your life – the people you know and the peo- their “moral courage,” before convicting ple you care about are involved in some way them anyway. or another”. Apart from his close friends, His arrests have not held him back. other SOAS students are not aware of what Garman works for Greenpeace two days a he does in his spare time. For him, universi- week and writes articles for publication, ty is a side-activity while he gets on with most recently at George Monbiot’s new site, combating climate change, luckily not alone. www.turnuptheheat.org. His latest venture What advice he would give to Cambridge is clearly the one he is most fired up about. students interested in the same issues? “Not With housemate, Rich George, Garman is everyone is going to chain themselves to the co-founder of Plane Stupid, Britain’s first something, although they should! Whatever national direct action campaign group oppos- choices we make, we should always be think- ing the unsustainable growth in aviation, ing about the impact it has on climate with the slogan “Bringing the Aviation change. It’s the only thing that matters any- Industry Down to Earth”. more. Everything else just fades into As the UK government encourages rapid insignificance.” growth of this industry through tax breaks Garman is far from being sanctimonious. and airport expansion, Plane Stupid could Like most students, he likes pubs, traveling not be ‘taking off’ at a more appropriate (not by plane) and Radiohead. But, anti- time. It is part of the recent resurgence in nuclear, pro-Al Gore, and receiving texts campaign groups that believe that direct from his house-mate about Tony Blair's action is the most efficient way to bring downfall as we chat – it is the morning after about change. Direct action has featured seven members of Blair's Government have widely in the media recently following the resigned – Garman is also exceptionally Day of Action against Drax Power Station. aware of what’s going on in the world around Garman believes that since the GM crop him. trashing of the 90s, the radical green move- Where does he see himself in ten years? ment has remained fairly quiet but there is Stupid question. Plain stupid, in fact. “I now a massive ‘we’re back’. As far as imagine I'll still be working on climate Garman and co are concerned, waiting for change – it’s not going away”. Not only is he governments to implement policy change hopeful, he’s realistic. That makes him one will be one wait too late. hundred percent more down to earth than If Garman is willing to break the law to the aviation industry. fight for his beliefs, does he consider himself www.citigroup.com meet us...

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varsity.co.uk/features | 06.10.06 15 Science UNDER THE LABCOAT Oliver Jones here is a character in the Marvel comic Talking universe that has changed his identity Talmost as often as his socks. Henry “Hank” Pym is a biochemist who, through the discovery of the mysterious Pym particles, becomes Ant Man, with the ability to shrink down to the size of an ant. Over the years Hank has also had a number of other cos- tumed identities including Giant-Man, Science Goliath, and Yellowjacket. Like Hank Pym, I’m a biochemist. Unlike him, I haven’t yet discovered a way to give myself superpowers. Although exposure to substances commonly found in laboratories, such as radiation/chemicals/electricity (and various combinations of each) has given many superheroes their abilities in the comic book world, I can’t stress strongly enough how dim a view the Health and Safety exec- utive take of trying to replicate such effects Bestselling author Simon Singh speaks to Ling (and don’t even get the animal rights lobby started on radioactive spiders). So, for now, I about science and sensationalism. am content with my day job, doing research Low in a field known as metabolomics. Metabolomics can be defined as the analy- sis of thousands of naturally occurring small imon Singh writes about big, important and geometry and they go on adventures great story, and they tweak the story. That’s molecules (metabolites) that are the products things. His books tell of passions strong that take them to territories that other intel- really irresponsible and dangerous”. He cites of cellular metabolism, such as sugars, fats Senough to consume individual lives. lects dare not enter; and they’re brilliant and the MMR vaccine as an example: having and amino acids. It can be used to give a They trace human responses to the world tragic and have rivalries and dedication and been depicted as dangerous by tabloids, 'snapshot' of the physiology of a cell, or tis- over centuries. His stories involve monarchs passions and obsessions that match any mothers might be swayed from using it to sue, and to assess how it has changed from and priests and the dreams of boys. His artist. Twenty years ago, no-one knew these protect their babies’ health. normal as a response to disease or exposure books are about the pursuit of truth. Above people existed.” There is a great contrast between this to pollution. Indeed, if Ant Man or the all, they are about science. But if there is now greater understanding blindly simplified sensationalism and the sci- Avengers actually existed, the technique Singh was just nine years old when he of science and maths among the public, it has entists, philosophers, priests and ordinary could probably be used to show what fea- realised that he wanted to be a nuclear physi- coincided with several other things: the lack people who feature in Singh’s books. Giving cist: “Bizarrely, I actually remember this of science teachers in schools, for example, their lives to the gradual unravelling of the moment with clarity. As a kid, I wanted to and the drop in students choosing to study it. universe’s science, they form the human his- find the smallest particle in the world or the Singh is horrified by this. “In the last twenty- tory behind equations and facts which we “Like Hank Pym I’m a biggest galaxy or just do whatever scientists five years, the number of people doing now take for granted. The human struggle to biochemist. Unlike him, I do, because there seemed to be nothing more Physics A-level has halved. That’s gob- understand is at the core of Singh’s writing. exciting than discovering something new”. smackingly shocking. Because those people Like Fermat’s Last Theorem, The Big Bang, haven’t yet found myself Having completed his PhD at Cambridge would have gone onto become engineers, Singh’s most recent book, blends historical University, however, and feeling that he inventors, pioneers. And we just don’t do narrative with technical explanation; showing superpowers” would never be the one to make the “big dis- that anymore. Britain is not a country of sci- not only how the most significant scientific coveries” that scientists dream of, Singh entists anymore. We’ve given up on it”. He idea of all time works, but contextualising it drifted into TV and a job on Tomorrow’s compares the situation with that in India, a in a long and compelling heritage of attempts World. Since then, his career has led him on a country that is bursting with science and to understand. Thinking of Richard Dawkins, winding path through writing, broadcasting, maths graduates. Singh feels that the British who, while speaking out against religion, stat- theatre and investigative journalism. “But government is not facing up to the education- ed bluntly that “all that matters is truth”, I tures of their metabolism were responsible throughout, it’s about science, and communi- al collapse. He adds that Cambridge, as an ask Singh if the pursuit of a solution, or truth, for their superpowers. cating science, and getting people as excited institution with influence, is also not using can be more important than the truth itself. Metabolomics actually has quite a lot in as I am about it,” he tells me. the leverage that it could. “It’s a shame that In response, he makes reference to the common with Hank Pym. Like him it is Now an established writer, as well as one Cambridge doesn’t do more”. Riemann hypothesis, hotly debated in con- known by many different names and is vari- half of a touring theatrical show, Singh is one A problem, too, is that our modern culture temporary mathematics. “Let’s imagine that ously referred to as, metabolomics, metabo- of the reasons that people today know a little is jaded about the amazing capacities of sci- one day, God writes across the sky, “Riemann nomics and metabolic profiling. In addition, more about “whatever scientists do”, as well ence. Singh points out that there is nothing hypothesis is true”. You would want to know like Dr. Pym, who was a founding member of as what mathematicians do. His book for us which could equate to the dramatic why it’s true – you would want to know the ‘Earth’s Mightiest Heroes’, the Avengers Fermat’s Last Theorem, which tells the cen- changes made in the Victorian era through reason, the proof, the argument. It’s that (along with the Hulk, Iron Man, Thor and the turies-long story of how a mathematical prob- their inventions. “Steam trains, telegraphs, interconnectedness of reasoning which is Wasp) metabolomics is a member of a lem came to be solved, was the first mathe- radio – these were shocking discoveries that enlightening: not just the answer.” greater whole, namely the science of systems matical book to be a UK bestseller. The changed what we thought might be possible. Simon Singh will be lecturing in Cambridge on biology. Just as the Avengers had a rotating increase in awareness and interest is in part Now it feels as though nothing is impossible.” October 31st at the Cambridge University membership of heroes dedicated to fighting due to Hollywood films such as Proof and A An outcome of this is the media’s attempts to Scientific Society. evil, systems biology has a wide membership Beautiful Mind, but overwhelmingly, it’s sensationalise science which would otherwise of ‘omic’ sciences, dedicated to analysing the down to people such as Singh himself, not be newsworthy. “When science gets real- For a chance to win a copy of Simon’s latest components of living organisms in their enthused with the importance of mathemat- ly big, then it gets given to the front page book, The Big Bang, decode his cryptic pod- entirety. ics to our existence. “Mathematicians try to journalist and that’s when things go wrong, cast at varsity.co.uk Although a relatively new player in this understand this abstract world of numbers because what those journalists want is a field of study, metabolomics has already had considerable success in a variety of areas. These include studies on drug toxicity and even medical applications, such as the diag- nosis of coronary heart disease without the SCIENCE HEADLINES FROM BLUESCI.ORG need for invasive techniques such as angio- plasty. All by simply looking at changes in metabolite levels. This all points to an exciting future. But »Alternative Energy Poised for Take-Off »Indecisive River wait… my science sense has started to tingle. This tells me that either there has been an Speakers from academia and industry argued that alternative ener- The course of the River Nile changes more than previously explosion in the lab (a distinct possibility) or gy sources such as wind power are now commercially viable, or thought, sweeping rapidly across its valley at rates of up to 2-3 km that we have run out of space this week. But very close to it, at a conference last week. Podcast at bluesci.org. per thousand years, according to new research. Previous interpre- join us next time, science fans, for more Michael Marshall tations may have been misguided. JK Hillier adventures in the marvellous world of metabolomics. Metabolomics away! Oliver Jones P

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varsity.co.uk/features | 06.10.06 17 Lifestyle THE SHORT BREAKS FOR CHEAPSKATES RESTAURANT COLUMN Ely, Cathedral and Tea for under £20

Martha and Matilda Ta Bouche #####

espite its French moniker, the range of food and wine at Ta Bouche (it Dmeans ‘your mouth’ if you are not au fait with Français) is mostly comprised of Mediterranean cuisine, with nachos and a ploughman’s spread thrown in for good measure. This fairly chilled-out bistro is tucked away behind Borders and next to Fez and B-bar. Ta Bouche is a versatile eatery, serving coffee, cocktails and a full Propositioned before we’d even reached when we discovered an empty bottle of the cathedral, we enjoyed scones, cake and lunch and dinner menu throughout the day. Sainsburys, we knew we were in for an Tesco Value Dry Cider littering the Jubilee tea for under £6. The cherry atop all of this By night, the bar is always lively and, afternoon of unexpected delights (the town Gardens, home of the “much-revered” has to be Natalie’s adoring rendez-vous with despite being very central, low-level leather crier’s number now being safely lodged in (according to Tourist Information) Ely Eel. Mr Oliver Cromwell at his house downtown and collaged walls feels a world away from the back pocket of Lowri’s skinny jeans). The Natalie’s voice was not without a hint of (again, the photo probably says it better). the pickled intensity that college walls often barely-there fare of £2.80 for a return to Ely relief when, on reaching the town centre, she Sauntering back down the hill to the sta- possess. provided another perk. cooed “It’s been too fucking long since I’ve tion, we mused on what was truly a wonder- Despite deciding during the course of our After a breezy fifteen minutes on the train, seen a Woolworths”. The upsetting presence ful and whimsical afternoon. Though tongue meal that we should use these outings as a we arrived to the glorious sunshine of Ely of a Starbucks nearby received a less glow- was often wedged firmly in cheek, Ely is a forum for carousing with men, we arrived and the spectacular sight of the cathedral ing appraisal. Thankfully, though, the town’s breath of fresh air: it is a real, not twee, together. It was the first day of term, and we peeking over rooftops and verdant slopes. It true gems still lay undiscovered. provincial ‘English’ town, where Cambridge sat gently perusing the Reporter until, a seemed the kind of place where the biggest Ely Cathedral dates back 1300 years and worries seem far more distant than a fifteen large glass of midday wine later, we realised threat could plausibly be a Borrower stealing the Stained Glass Museum (entry £2.50) is minute train journey. We arrived back with that it was the second day of term and we your shoelace. However, a brief dalliance magnificent. This was followed by a trip to shoulders several inches lower and a cosy didn’t have time to plan. We sampled the with the seedy underbelly of Ely followed, Steeplegate Tearooms, where with a view of desire for more tea and cake. D’Istinto (Merlot and Chardonnay respec- tively, £12.95 per bottle); the white, though a little sweet and flowery for a medium-dry, was not altogether unpleasant for a house THE LOCAL RECIPE VARSITY WINE wine and the red was full-bodied with quite a high tannin count. Ta Bouche boasts a Pan Fried Ostrich with a Blueberry Sauce VIRGINS wide (if predominantly Spanish and Italian) wine list and a comprehensive bar of spirits and cocktails. The cocktails are well-made Bisbrooke Ostrich Farm,,Market Square and happy hour runs from 6pm til 9pm, The Reds Monday to Thursday. When push comes to £3.30 per 150g steak shove, however, the bar beats the kitchen. Moving like any self-respecting bairn The girls who wouldn’t know their Bordeaux from liquids to solids, we indulged in three from their Blue Nun are back, and this time, courses. The ‘special’ starter of wild mush- they’re tackling a case of the mean reds, rooms on granary toast, drizzled with a bal- though perhaps not with quite the same ele- samic and pesto dressing was little more Serves 2 gance as Holly Golightly… than a glorified sub-section of a fry-up. The soup had a nice consistency; tomato, basil 2 Ostrich steaks of about 150g each. Formal hall corker for under a fiver: and rocket, with granary bread. The main a stock cube – either chicken of beef. Venezie Merlot, 2005 £4.75 courses repetition of the balsamic drizzle 200ml of water Mr Cambridge Wine Merchant: “Light bod- (something of a signature it would seem) Small handful of blueberries, either fresh or frozen ied, primary fruit flavours: raspberry and was enough to mask a dry and meagre 125ml Red wine vanilla. A blend from thirty different vine- salad. A lemon and thyme sauce in what can 25ml Balsamic vinegar yards, but friendly enough.” only be described as a pork-cup was very Small knob of butter (optional) VWVs: “For what I buy in Sainsbury’s I small, and dry, and unendearing, particular- Splash of cream (optional) think I’d rather pay the extra 75p and get ly as the potatoes nestling near it were vir- Olive oil this. It looks pretty…in fact, so do you Mr tually inedible. Martha’s cheeseburger was Salt and pepper CWM” again small, pretty charred, and dwarfed by the coagulate mass of cheese sitting on its Start off with the sauce as it takes longer than the meat. Pour the water into a Dinner Date: face. The mash was dry, salty but fortunate- saucepan and add the stock cube. Place over a high heat, stir and reduce down until the Les Perles de Méditerranée, Syrah 2003, ly without sauce. Heavens for small mercies. volume of stock has dropped by about half. Add the wine and balsamic vinegar and £7.50 Moving swiftly onto pudding - apple pie and reduce again until you have roughly 150ml of liquid in the pan. This should take no more Mr CMV: “Rich, silky, sweet spice. It ice cream had a stodgy texture which again than 5 minutes over a high heat. Add the blueberries to the sauce and remove from the has all the peppery, earthy flavours you left a fair bit to be desired. By now, soured heat. get with a Syrah. The complexity of by the food and sickened by the fact that this wine is impressive: a smokey term had left us behind like old maids in Now for the meat. Season each steak with salt and pepper on both sides and pour a cou- bacon, lingering woody flavour.” sauce, we felt jaded by the expense of our ple of glugs of olive oil into a frying pan. Place over a high heat and let it heat up for a VWVs: “Yummy! It smells like meals (starters range from £4 to £6, mains minute or so. Fry the steaks for about a minute on each side for rare and ninety seconds Haagen Dazs ice cream, which makes from £6 to £9, desserts £5) for medium rare. Once cooked remove them to a plate to rest while you finish the sauce. it clearly superior in quality.” A disappointing meal aside, we are habit- Empty the contents of the saucepan into the frying pan you used for the ostrich and heat ual patrons of Ta Bouche and would recom- it up so it starts bubbling. Now you can add the butter or cream if you want a richer mend the halloumi salad with couscous and sauce. Pour over the steaks and serve with potatoes of your choice and seasonal veg. the toasted sandwiches. Ta Bouche is a love- ly place for a drink and a nibble, in a gen- Recipe by Alex Rushmer uinely inviting and gently trendy bar, and WIN A BOTTLE OF THIS shouldn’t really be treated as anything After graduating in SPS, Alex decided to set up a website based on the premise that the aver- WEEK’S DINNER DATE more. age cook book is used only twice. ‘Just Cook It’ tailor-makes recipes to your specifications, and BOTTLE charges you per recipe, not per book. www.justcookit.co.uk DISCUSS: P10 Martha Spurrier and Mathilda Imlah

18 varsity.co.uk/features | 06.10.06 Fashion JEUX DE RÔLE... Tailoring is the sartorial extension of the Greeks’ ideal form. It irons out the body’s imperfections, disguises its bulges and lengthens its lines. It cre- ates a perfect physical geometry. So girls sport masculine looks while boys experiment with skinny jeans- a trend usu- ally associated with the fairer sex.

Mia wears racerback vest, £2 at Oxfam. Wide-leg trousers, £35 at Topshop. Braces, stylist’s own. Kate wears shirt, £35 at GAP. Cigarette trousers, £65 at French Connection. Belt, £25 at Austin Reed. Shoes, £49.99 at Clarks. Felicity wears Motorhead T-shirt, £35 at Cult. Leopard print top (just seen) £35 at French Connection. Skinny jeans £40 at Topshop. Biker boots, £15 at Primark. Headscarf, £110 by Alexander McQueen at net-a-porter.com. Vintage belt, £20 at Cornucopia.

Shot at the Fitzwilliam Museum. Photography by Debbie Scanlan. Styled by Rosanna Falconer and Olivia Johnson.

varsity.co.uk/features | 06.10.06 19

EXPOSURE

UNDEREXPOSED

SNAKESKIN

WE STILL LOVE LEOPARD BUT SO DOES THE BADLY-DRESSED WORLD AND HIS WIFE. MOVE OVER TO ANOTHER SPECIES.

REDOXON VITAMIN C

ONE TABLET CRAMMED WITH A WHOPPING (AND SLIGHTLY WORRYING) 1,667% OF YOUR RDA OF VITAMIN C TO KEEP YOU FREE FROM FRESHERS’ FLU (AND SCURVY).

THE SKINNY DEBATE MOTHBALLS

We’ve witnessed skinny jeans worn by Kate Moss, her boyfriend, and now the average Joe on the MOTHBALLS = VINTAGE. high street. Varsity fashion felt moved to debate the wearability of the trend for boys. VINTAGE = GOOD. FOR AGAINST Boys, be plucky, embrace with gusto this brave new denim concept, nar- Skinny jeans are aptly named. They attempt to avoid potential fashion row down and go skinny. Girls will love a boy who breaks with his habit crimes by dictating to their wearer just the look he needs – he must be so get out of those baggy, loafer skimming Gap specials and don a pair of skinny. And we’re talking so skeletal he's giving the size 00 models a run edgy skinnies for a longer, leaner silhouette. Even skater boys, long term for their money. Just look at their most famous exponents – Pete advocates of the shapeless floor skimmers and those responsible for the Doherty and Russell Brand – the definition of heroin chic. Or is it shriek? OVEREXPOSED low slung, boxer-revealing baggy look, are changing and favouring the But boys, don’t go skinny. Jeans are a fashion staple, a basic piece of tapered phenomenon. The narrow fit better displays their agility on the everyday casual. Are they really the best item with which to prove your boards. If you follow suit, skinnies have the potential to highlight that sartorial cool? toned tushie of yours as you stride manfully up to the Sidgwick Site. They unforgivingly expose every part of the leg which, even when INTERNSHIP TAN’ (OR LACK OF) Notice that the conservative Saville Row tailors have been infected by donned by thin indie types, can just give too much information. It is with- the slender shapes of rockstar glamour. Let the look take you into the out doubt time to move on from the low-slung, underwear exposing jeans WISHING YOU HAD BOOKED evening with the skinny suit. Trim, waif-like, dandyish? You will pull off that so enrage mothers. But the skinny is an extreme too far. As the THAT LATE HOLIDAY TO the look with aplomb. You others? Work off the muffin-top, tone up the trend originated from womenswear, follow the chic woman’s solution and THAILAND RATHER THAN beer belly and then clamber into those pipelines: revel in the rock-kid choose the straight leg. You won’t need to spend all week in Glassworks WORKING THAT EXTRA MONTH undertones. Enjoy the Pete Doherty indie look and laugh as your very or to drink reduced calorie beer. Now wait with trepidation for the latest IN A SOUL-DESTROYING BANK. own Kate Moss slips her hand into yours. jeans trend – high-waisted baggies… Olivia Johnson Rosanna Falconer RUGGER-BUGGER TRIES THE TREND SMARTIES As a fashion guru myself, I’ll never know why I Evan Hughes, was convinced that two months at the NOT ONLY HAVE THEY DISCON- Glassworks gym would entitle me to wear skin- TINUED THE CYLINDRICAL TUBE ny jeans. Being only just on the fun side of fat, BUT NOW THE ARTIFICIAL Prop of Cambridge the skinny jean look is probably not going to help me pull loads in the 2006/7 season. I was COLOURS, SPOILING ALL CHILD- Rugby League; glad that the original skinny jeans provided HOOD MEMORIES OF HYPERAC- were in fact too large for my perfectly sculpted TIVE MAYHEM. and classical thighs. But this only served as a President of sad reminder that I have even less chance of scoring a Blue this year than I do of scoring in Trinity Field Club, these jeans. I was pleasantly surprised by how good I looked in skinnies, but are these jeans for the safe 'lad'? Sitting down in them proved RUSSELL BRAND and general ‘constricting’, so to speak, which for mutes like myself is a big concern – our ‘ball skills’ are 2:1 THAT HE’S RIDDLED WITH ‘lad about town’ very important to us. I can see these jeans mak- DISEASE. ing any grinding on the Cindys dancefloor impossible and at this stage I imagine the jeans recounts his skinny will be coming off imminently. experience. Laters, E. E. HUGHES

20 21 Arts Front THE ARTS Three new releases, including Osamu Tezuka’s COLUMN Buddha and a an illustrated version of the events James Drinkwater of 9/11, have dramatically widened the scope of on Mozart and Muslims his November, Cambridge plays host to a month-long festival of concerts the graphic novel - beyond just heroes and villains. Tand events focusing on the common- ly assumed connections between Mozart, Maths and Music. However, it would seem Andy Wimbush profiles a developing genre. that more dangerously political associa- tions are troubling the composer’s legacy in his quarter-millennial birthday year, than the minutiae of his quintuple counter- nce upon a time, serious people didn’t the Buddha. While the life of an ascetic does- possible when an artist refuses to pin down point. bother reading graphic novels. That n’t sound like fertile ground for a comic his style, constantly shifting it each week, to It is strange that the director of the Osmall square of carpet near the strip, Tezuka has created a classic of the match his mood, ideas and resources. recently-axed of the Deustche Oper pro- “Humour” section of Waterstone’s was popu- genre. The black and white illustrations con- Blegvad’s comic, about a baby and a cat, also duction of Mozart’s 1780 opera, Idomeneo, lated by lonely geeks and bored children. vey the beauty of northern India’s land- had a metaphysical brilliance in its subject Re di Creta felt it necessary for the epony- This point is made clearly by the comic artist scape, juxtaposed with the poverty and suf- matter. At once referential and iconoclastic, mous king to introduce representations of Dan Clowes in his novel Ghost World. Enid, fering that Siddhartha finds there. The story the strip was able to flirt with philosophical the severed heads of Mohammed, Buddha, his protagonist. is happy to peruse the itself is consistently moving and often very ideas that seemed at odds with the illustrat- Jesus and Neptune to the action. In the videos and sex toys in Adam’s II, a blue- funny. It is very fortunate that Tezuka takes ed context. Yet Blegvad, for all his humour, opera, Idomeneo, surviving a fierce storm movie emporium, but she’s constantly look- a distinctly Rabelaisian approach to his reli- showed us that comics can and will be returning from Troy, vows to sacrifice to ing over her shoulder, terrified that someone gious theme, constantly forcing the sacred employed in the service of more heavy- Neptune the first man he sees when he might spot her, as she flicks through the and the profane to jostle within his panels. weight ideas. The popular series of reaches shore: this first man fatefully racks of the local comic book store. Yet the abundant humour never threatens Introducing books has given us an initial turns out to be his son Idamante. From These days comics are receiving main- the gravity of the books’ philosophical con- taste of cartoons in the service of philosophy. this inversion of the Abraham-Isaac obli- stream attention. The resurrection of the cerns. I eagerly await the first book of popular sci- gation, arises the conflict between man superhero film has sent hoards of acrobatic If comics are allowed to mature even as ence or critical theory that comes with and a highly mythologized divinity out of men in tights straight to our cinema screens. they undergo mainstream scrutiny we are speech bubbles. which the opera manages finally to effect As rights are quickly snapped up for the lat- likely to see even more varied and exciting So my advice to the shy student, who’s an enlightened resolution. Throughout the est CGI leotard, Hollywood producers have explorations of the medium. As already still hiding behind the rack, is to stand up, libretto however, blasphemy, in its mod- discovered darker, lesser known graphic mentioned, comics possess more than a pass- proudly, and look around. As comics get big- ern, atheistic sense, never emerges as a novels for their films, as witnessed by the ing resemblance to storyboards - for exam- ger they’ll start to occupy a less embarrass- persistent theme, not least because the recent Sin City and V for Vendetta adapta- ple the comic artist Adrian Tomine has often ing shelf space in the bookshops, and as powers of divinity through nature (be it tions. Even the underground comics are sur- been praised for the way that he sets up his countless more are published by unsigned storms, or sea-monsters) are so readily facing in celluloid. Clowes’ Ghost World was panels like a film director, working out artists online, it would be a shame to miss apparent. filmed in 2001 by director Terry Zwigoff where to place the camera - but again, it out on what the future might hold. Importantly, there never were any sub- (who had already made a documentary would be a shame to see them as embryonic stantiated threats to the Berlin opera about the father of alternative comics, movies. Not all artists choose to be as figura- house from any pseudo-Islamic activist. Robert Crumb). In 1994. Clowes and tive as Tomine. One need only look at the www.varsity.co.uk for a review of Rather, a patron of the performance after- Zwigoff teamed up again for Art School incredible, but sadly defunct, weekly comic The Illustrated 9/11 Commision Report wards rang up the police merely suggest- Confessional, another comic adaptation, Leviathan by Peter Blegvad to see what is ing that aspects of the production might be while Crumb’s friend, the comic writer changed to forestall any protest, Islamic or Harvey Pekar, moped onto the film reel in otherwise. This is no great clash of civilisa- the critically acclaimed American Splendor. tions, as it has been amplified by Angela But even Hollywood’s beatitude can have Merkel and the German press, but a fail- its downside. I often wonder how many ure of Western post-modern aesthetic the- audience members bother to read the comics ory to find a full enough justification for its that inspire the movies. If comics are treat- own artistic eccentricities, an insecurity ed only as storyboard for films, the medium manifested in aggressive rhetoric about has little chance to mature. What’s more, the ‘democracy’ and ‘freedom of speech’. film producers seem only to be interested in Frankly – who cares about some radical the extreme ends of the character spectrum: rendering of this opera? We come to hear the superheroes on one side and the anti- Mozart – a liberal, empathic Mozart, a heroes on the other, ignoring the subtle Mozart who can make us pity even that traits of character that lie in between good reprobate Don Giovanni – not to find and evil. As a result, adaptations of Graphic attached to his works some half-baked Novels seem polarised between outlandish reactionary constructions in papier-mâché. fantasy and a gritty kind of angst-ridden And yet this controversy belies what is realism. rather a more substantial history of refer- This year, however, witnesses the publica- ences to Islamic culture in western music. tion of at least three books that could change Mozart’s opera after Idomeneo was The all that. I hesitate to call them “Graphic Abduction from Seraglio, a vernacular

s Novels”, since all three are based on factual comic singspiel capitalising, in musicologist events. “Comics” is hardly a better descrip- Taruskin’s words, on ‘a great Viennese tion. The most audacious of my trio is The vogue for “Oriental” (or “Turkish”) subject Illustrated 9/11 Commission Report by Sid matter in the wake of the unsuccessful Jacobson and Ernie Colón. Doing precisely siege of the city by Ottoman Turks in

t what it says on the tin, the Report is an 1683.’ Turkish percussion also beat their attempt to bring the findings of the 9/11 way through Beethoven’s Choral Commission to a wider audience. It’s a brave Symphony, and, are imitated in the famous Graphic move on their part, since more than a few ‘Rondo alla Turca’, again by Mozart. The readers might question the suitability of the irony therefore is not so much that 3 mil- medium to its subject. Indeed, the drawing lion Muslims (mostly Turks and former r of United 93 passengers vomiting blood is Yugoslavians) now live and work peaceful- perhaps (and here you’ll excuse the pun) too ly in Germany; rather the fact that at a graphic. Whatever the reaction, the book’s time when the Pope, in his role as academ- existence confirms that the remit of the ic (and one who, because of the nature of “comic” has expanded to encompass more his appointment, is allowed to speak for all important issues. Catholics without any form of peer-review) 2006 also sees the first English language is facing criticism for his own medieval publication of the seminal graphic work, beliefs in the survival of Christendom Revelations Buddha by the late Osamu Tezuka. This whilst preaching some watery form of epic, eight-volume story has all the historical inter-faith dialogue, when Mozart had A milestones of the life of the Indian prince already come to terms with these issues of Image from Osamu Tezuka’s epic series of Graphic Novels: Buddha which chronicles the entire life of the religious leader Siddhartha Gautama, the man who became A series of panels depicting a lesson from the Buddha cross-cultural interaction 225 years earlier.

22 varsity.co.uk/arts | 06.10.06 Arts: Folk Music

MIXTAPE

AND THE CROWD GO MILD Jonny Ensall on the progression of Folk

That Bob Dylan’s album, The Times They change had to embody the sound of change sound more self-aware than it actually is. are a Changin’ is a seminal masterpiece, and he didn’t, unlike his fans, look back. Folktronica is not an effort to electronically unrivalled in modern music, is a fact I have The postmodern necessity of referring to emulate the sounds of yesteryear, but a natu- often disputed with my parents. But no mat- what has come before makes a lot of today’s ral progression of folk. The goal is still the ter how strongly I feel that Dylan’s muddied music a complex amalgamation of different movement of the emotions and the communi- word mash cannot be considered poetry, Dad styles and influences, juxtaposed against cation of a powerful message, undiluted in its does have a point when he waxes lyrical each other in a effort to conjure something simplicity, from human to human. about the simple beauty of Dylan’s early new. It’s no surprise, therefore, that against song writing. It’s undeniable that Dylan cap- this musical backdrop, a New Folk scene has FOLK FACTS tured the mood of the disgruntled American emerged as an alternative to pastiche and youth with an uncomplicated ease, aided only irony. Artists like Devendra Banhart, Cat by a little bit of guitar and badly played har- Power, Joanna Newsom, Sufjan Stevens and monica. Regina Spektor have returned to a simpler 1930s-50s: Popular performance, the expand- Dylan may have been folk’s golden boy, but musical style. They rely on instrument and ing and the traditions of folk music sung by miserable, bedsit crooner Leonard Cohen voice, used sparsely in an effort to keep the ordinary people produces the rapidly evolv- had an equally valuable dose of songwriting message uncomplicated. Cat Power’s aston- ing genre of folk music. Woody Guthrie is a to offer in the 60s. Over this side of the pond, ishing albums Free and The Greatest settle seminal early figure Bert Jansch’s contributions to folk around on the emotional richness of her voice as the same time have rightly earned him place their inspiration. Sufjan Steven’s songs on 1960s: Folk music as protest – the Vietnam in English folk legend. His music, when lis- Seven Swans explore numinous moments of War, the American Civil Rights movement tened to now, has the same power of convic- beauty found amongst ordinary occurences. and rumblings amongst the left provide fer- tion that Dylan and Cohen mustered. When Increasingly artists are forming their music tile ground for artists like Joan Baez and Phil Jansch croons about seducing a girl, and lay- out of the simplest, rugged elements as part Ochs. Men with beards dominate in England. ing with her for the first time, the tender- of a return to the human element; a kind of Bob Dylan uses an electric guitar. Men with ness of the moment is communicated in its backlash against the slickness of pop produc- beards alternate between weeping and fullest form; and this is where the power of tion and the cleverness of Art Rock. shouting biblical insults at him. folk lies, in its approach to beauty as being Folktronica is another genre spawned out something alive and infused with emotion; a of beauty and simplicity. Kieran Hebden 1980s: Folk punk. What a mess. Think the dynamic force sweeping through musician (Four Tet)’s manipulation of guitar and Pogues and bad teeth. and instrument, served raw to the audience. drums focuses solely on the inherent emo- Once upon a time, Folk had the power to tional power of instrumentation. His latest 1990s: Anti-folk such as the Moldy Peaches motivate a generation. But inevitably the project, with legendary drummer Steve emerges. And then submerges, because its genre metamorphosed into something differ- Reid, takes modern folk to a new level of rubbish. ent and the moment was lost. When Dylan minimalism. Their songs sound like perpetu- went electric the kids were furious. They al build ups; abstract sounds generated by 2000s: New folk is rather more successful; couldn’t connect to the barrage of noise ema- the strength of the connection between blending traditional folk music with a nating from the stage, which seemed to human and instrument. Many other bands, melange of more modern influences, both mean so much less to them than The Times such as (the now touring) Tunng are continu- musical and political. Too diverse to be easily They are a Changin’. The fact was that time ing the “folktronica” trend. However, to sug- pigeonholed, it has produced critically and had moved on, and Dylan had stepped his gest that the genre is the amalgamation of commercially successful artists as different oeuvre up a level. He saw that the music of old and new (Folk and Electronica) makes it as ‘Bonnie’ Prince Billy and Joanna Newsom. varsity.co.uk/arts | 06.10.06 23 R H I A D A M

The Local Folk Dickie Byron offers a perspective on the Cambridge Folk Scene

hat infamous cold wind that breezes the values of Folk music, the musicians who thisers who can hum his tunes and sing along other perfomers lack. Simply being tradition- over straight from the Urals has play there are rarely fussed about press cov- with the choruses. Last year's Soul Treat al, English and a good guitar player is no Tstirred up plenty of folk music in erage and “getting on”, they simply congre- saw an all-audience rendition of John Peel on substitute for modesty and personality. Cambridge over the years. The Cambridge gate to share their music. my Phone, Hamfatter's ballad about his lost These subtleties of performance are some- Folk Festival is the biggest in the country, I'm not a folk romantic, per se, I just have chance at the big time. Hugo Shepherd is thing that the discerning Cambridge audi- Nick Drake studied English here before an appreciation for a genre that goes against another musician, and a current student at ence does not fail to pick up on. In fact it’s being sent down, and The Broken Family fan mentality. When you experience a con- the University, whose warm, lilting tones on our rare level of interest in Folk that regu- Band are the definitive British alternative nection with someone’s music, it ceases to the guitar have endeared him to Cambridge larly brings back renowed musicians such as Country group. The setting of the river, the matter what cultural affiliations the music folk appreciators. His performances, though Nanci Griffith, Martha and Rufus pristine gardens, the cobbled streets and the has. Being signed or unsigned, on the way up self-effacing, are deeply enjoyable and Wainwright and The Handsome Family to ancient buildings has, for many years, or on the way out, are ideas we are, unfortu- imbued with a sense of humility that many perform at The Corn Exchange and The proved a stimulating idyll for Cambridge nately, accustomed to caring about. Think of Junction. It seems that folk runs deep in folkies. Like the range of types you find punk. It originated from the wonderfully Cambridge’s veins. Folk is a strand of histo- wandering around Strawberry Fields, simple concept of just picking up a loud “I’m not a folk romantic, ry that has nothing to do with colleges and Cambridge has produced it’s fair share of instrument and playing it which ever way students; it’s entrenched in the local mindset, acoustic oddities. you could without attempting to be particu- I just have an and will continue to be after long after our Jen Rouse of folk band Enid Steals has larly good, or successful. It's the attempt, degree years are over. Nick Drake may have long been one of Cambridge’s New Folk stal- rather than the product, that counts, and appreciation for a genre been and gone, but a fleeting visit from a folk warts, remaining oblivious to the sway of certainly in the University folk music has legend is not what makes Cambridge a folk other musical trends that regularly sweep caught the interest of those who enjoy hear- that goes against fan town. through the University. She, like many oth- ing the unadulterated sound of an instru- mentality. When you In the end it seems obvious that our ers in Cambridge, has rejected the new ment. Loud thrashings and rock-star preten- shared criteria for judging folk music should wave and electro styles touted by trendies sions usually stay within the boundaries of experience a connection not focus on guitar picking and strained wearing ripped trousers and tshirts. The town gigs, while college bars and even club vocals; far more important is the attitude of city, it seems, is filled with folk musicians like nights have much mellower and quieter pre- with someone’s music, it the performers. If you live in a community her who continue playing in their own musi- tensions. like Cambridge, with all its inherent eccen- cal vein, despite swimming against the cur- Another regular on the Cambridge folk ceases to matter what tricities, the people who provide the sound- rent of student popular opinion. scene is Hamfatter (currently his shows are track become part of its social fabric. There's Songs in the Dark at Clowns, established to be caught outside Cafe Rouge on Bridge cultural affiliations the something comforting in that. Perhaps the three years ago, is the perfect showcase for Street) a man who has been peddling his music has.” answer to the infamous Cambridge stress Cambridge Folk artists. It provides the noc- troubadour songs in the city long before our problem is just to open up your ears a bit turnal flip side to the frippery of the day; a generation of students arrived here. A true and listen to the weird and wonderful music blackened retreat full of candles, exposed folkster, he has not so much a fan base as an of those you know - there's nothing queer beams and captivating performances. True to ever-increasing group of friends and sympa- about it.

24 varsity.co.uk/arts | 29.09.06 “Stuff Happens” “Stuff Happens” was Donald Rumsfeld’s response to the issue of looting in Iraq. Now stolen artifacts are being sent abroad and sold on ebay, -the funds linked to Iraqi insurgents. As part of an exclusive investigation, Jonny Yarker assesses the cultural cost of war against Saddam.

he image of Iraqis destroying the stat- ue of Saddam Hussein on April 9th CRISIS IN FIGURES T2003 became an instant icon of American propaganda. Days later, it was more pictures of shattered statues that 13, 515: Objects looted from shocked the world; the artefacts of the the Baghdad museum. Baghdad Museum, left dismembered throughout its looted galleries. The western press was outraged at the “cultural rape” of 3,044: Objects recovered. a nation and on April 19th, American troops finally intervened to secure the museum: ten days too late. 155: Objects currently on e- The fact that troops weren’t immediately bay which originated in sent to guard the Baghdad Museum is symp- tomatic of the US military’s disregard for Iraq. Iraqi heritage as a whole. The abuses contin- ue, unchecked and unremarked upon. But there is a more sinister truth. Increasingly $60,000,000: Estimated the evidence suggests that the trade in loot- yearly trade in stolen antiq- ed antiquities has become a major revenue for insurgents and is helping to fund their uities. continued resistance against Coalition forces. In 2003, after the media storm surround- 5,000 years: The age of the ing the Iraq war had died down, a group of academics went to the country to assess the Mesopotamian artefacts impact of the invasion on the archaeological being looted. infrastructure of the country. Heading the American delegation was Professor McGuire Gibson of Chicago University. He describes $100,000,000: Amount of the vast, destructive impact of the war in no money invested by Saddam uncertain terms. “Since the invasion, looters have attacked 20 sites in the south of the Hussein in Iraqi archaeolo- country amounting to their complete gy. destruction. They include the city of Isin, which was the capital of Babylonia, Umma (an early Sumerian kingdom), Umm al- $2,000,000: Amount of Aqarib, Adab (another early kingdom), Zabalam, and Shuruppak.” Sizeable chunks money pledged by the US of history have been levelled to the ground. government to protect Iraqi Because, according to Gibson, Iraq is the architecture. “place where civilization first developed (ancient Mesopotamia) it is of prime impor- we could [have brought] the situation under Bizarrely, ebay has now become a tool in are fraudulent, but they give a cover for the tance not just for Near Eastern history but control.” Bogdanos is a New York district the recovery operation. A brief search high-end dealers in London, Paris, New York for world history.” It seems extraordinary attorney in civilian life and speaks with sin- through items for sale reveals a number of and to the collectors to say they took the then that the American occupation proceeds cerity about attempts to initiate an amnesty cuneiform tablets and cylinder seals that are papers in good faith.” Gibson is in agreement, with such flagrant disregard for the archaeo- for looted articles and his work with evidently Iraqi in origin. Keen to see how “If one country would put one collector in logical significance of the territory. UNESCO and Interpol. But even Bogdanos easy it was to purchase a small part of the jail, alongside one “high-end” Madison “I gave the military the locations of more is aware that the situation is out of control: “birthplace of civilisation” I contacted one of Avenue dealer, it would hinder the trade.” than 5,000 sites in Iraq that were of interna- “the difficulties of international law make the the vendors about a cylinder seal from 4,000 There is an irony in the fact that ebay has, tional importance” Gibson reveals exclusive- situation impossible to police.” BC Mesopotamia. Recently a similar seal perhaps, become inculpated in funding ter- ly to Varsity. “It became clear to Iraqis very It seems evident that despite being noti- from a legitimate collection of antiquities rorism, but a greater irony is that Saddam soon after the taking of Baghdad that the fied by Gibson of these 5,000 sites and their made $10,000. My $2.50 would be a bit of a Hussein, the figure whose effigy was torn US had no interest or ability to stop the loot- importance, the US administration failed to bargain. In his e-mail the Syrian, who will from its roots during the occupation, was a ing. But this fits with the incompetent adequately take heed of that information. In “ship internationally, except Israel” was great protector or Iraqi antiquities. In the preparations for the aftermath.” If the 2003 Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld keen to offer me some of his more impres- seventies he poured money into archaeology, Pentagon was given specific information by clarified the official view of Washington sive stock. Bogdanos is adamant: “antiquities promoting Iraq’s remarkable national her- the head of the American Research when he said of the problem, “stuff hap- slip through the Jordanian, Syrian and itage whereas now the under-prepared, over- Association in Baghdad, how did they man- pens.” But the problem is more deep-rooted Iranian borders and then to private collec- stretched forces have no way of stopping the age to misuse it so disastrously? I asked than just the loss of some broken statues. As tions in the west or far east.” He blames looting. When Saddam’s statue was toppled Colonel Matthew Bogdanos, the US Marine Bogdanos points out, “there is proof that dealers and collectors in the art and antiqui- in the revolt against an evil dictator, with it placed in charge of repatriating looted money made in the illicit trafficking of cul- ties world for this free trade in stolen objects many of Iraq’s important historical objects objects from the Baghdad museum and the tural objects is funding terrorism.” as well as the “open port” policy of countries were wiped from the face of the earth; an public face of the coalition’s attempts to pre- So what could have happened to the 13,500 like Switzerland who are a complicit part of archealogical disaster not just for Iraq, but vent the loss of cultural objects from the catalogued objects from the Baghdad muse- the problem. “The provenances are supplied for the international community. This was, country, whether he had any knowledge of um which are now lost? Bogdanos is keen to usually by dealers in Europe or in Lebanon and continues to be, a military disregard for this list. “The fact is we couldn’t possibly stress the 3044 objects they have managed {and} Jordan. Everyone involved, including cultural worth that it is simply not possible guard all these sites; if the international com- to recover in raids and through his amnesty, scholars who authenticate objects for dealers for Rumsfeld to brush off. munity was prepared to send troops perhaps but the majority are still unaccounted for. and collectors, knows the provenances

varsity.co.uk/arts | 29.09.06 25 Arts People Hermione Lee N W O B

E N A J

In the week of the Booker Prize winner being announced, Hermione Buckland- Hoby interviews Chief Booker Judge, Hermione Lee, on her part in the decision and her own writing.

t is twenty-five years since Hermione Lee sat on the Booker pa nel. Back in 1981 the then-unknown winner of the most prestigious of literary prizes was Salman “ This everyone-deserves-a-prize Rushdie’s novel Midnight’s Children. This time round the attitude is like those terrible reviews of professor is chairing the panel and, as she prepares for the announcement of the winner next Tuesday, I asked her school plays where every single how things have changed. IBeginning with a modest although questionable disclaimer that person is mentioned, including the she ‘is no expert on modern fiction’, Lee claims the greatest achieve- ment of the Man Booker prize is its having ‘shifted our sense of what person who brought the chair on in the modern novel in English can do’. Whilst Rushdie’s novel was ‘itself very exciting and daring’ she suggests writers have become the beginning.” even more adventurous. Now, ‘things count as novels which we might not have thought of as counting as novels’ and in reading over a hundred novels she was ‘struck by the different kind of voices and languages and typefaces and structure that people will allow into the novel now.’ Animated, she concludes that ‘the change has been in terms of freedom.’ of awe as ‘writers giving themselves away’. Lee sees this broader attitude to form accompanied by a wider Her latest biographical subject, Edith Wharton, fascinates her for geographical scope and she seems to welcome both wholeheartedly. the ‘negotiation between the life as it is lived, the life as itself, and With some pride she observes, ‘we’ve become much less Anglo-cen- what she does with it in the writing.’ Lee describes Wharton as self- tred and I think the Man Booker has had something to do with that concealing yet ‘what she pours into her characters’ lives is huge too’, since now novels coming out of India, Africa, Australia, Canada swathes of her own experience’, and magically, the writer turns this and New Zealand are ‘of an equal interest to a whole range of read- ‘into performance’. Waxing lyrical over Woolf, Wharton et al - ‘these ers’ as novels from the UK. wonderful women writers’ - her admiration is unabashed: ‘you con- Edward St Aubyn’s shortlisted novel, Mother’s Milk falls into the stantly feel yourself completely outclassed by the language of the latter category and has been accompanied by a rather startling press person you’re writing about. Your breath is taken away by what they release concerning his abusive childhood. Whilst Lee admits there is can do.’ a ‘tremendous amount about childhood and people trying to find Lee’s breath also seems to have been taken away by this year’s their family roots’ she corrects my assumptions about autobiographi- longlist: she claims she would have liked everyone on it to make the cal trends, insisting Aubyn’s novel is ‘‘more inventive and playful’ shortlist. She is, however, endearingly self-aware about this every- than the press release suggests and more complicated than straight- one-deserves-a-prize attitude - ‘its like those terrible reviews of G N

I forward autobiography. However, as the author of several successful school plays where every single person is mentioned, including the D

R biographies, Lee is manifestly interested in the relations between person who brought the chair on at the beginning’. Sadly, thankfully, A H writers’ lives, their work, and their writing about the imaginative the Booker isn’t a school play, and next Tuesday it will be just one L E

H sources of that work. This latter category (in which she includes name that matters. C

A Andrew Motion’s In the Blood ) is described in a near-stage whisper R

ASK US ANYTHING YOU LIKE.

THIS YEAR, IN A RADICAL BREAK WITH TRADITION, WE’VE DECIDED TO PUT ON A SHOW THAT MEETS THE NEEDS OF STUDENTS. RESPONDING TO THE BLUNT FEEDBACK OF LAST YEAR’S AUDIENCES, WE ARE DISPENSING WITH THE CONVENTIONS OF GRADUATE PRESENTATIONS. OUT GO THE STRUCTURE DIAGRAMS, LEAGUE TABLES AND CORPORATE HYPE. IN COMES A COMMITMENT TO FACE TIME, ONE-TO-ONES AND HONEST INPUT FROM SOME OF OUR TOP PEOPLE. IT’S A SCARY-LOOKING SCHEDULE FOR US, BECAUSE WE WON’T KNOW ANY OF THE QUESTIONS, LET ALONE ALL THE ANSWERS. AND IF WE DON’T WIN SOME KIND OF PRIZE FOR CAMPUS BRAVERY, WE’LL BE BACK NEXT YEAR WITH SOMETHING REALLY TEDIOUS. COME ALONG AND SEE HISTORY IN THE MAKING, OR JUST SIT AT HOME AND HOPE IT HAPPENS TO YOU.

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varsity.co.uk/arts | 06.10.06 27 Reviews: Booker Prize Special With the announcement of this year’s Booker Prize winner due on October 10th, Varsity examines the odds for the main contenders. The Night Watch - Sarah Waters Mother’s Milk - Edward St Aubyn

Rather surprisingly, the first thing I did lovers; a noisy, crowded prison dining hall – the “blending together” he watches after finishing The Night Watch was close always just enough to capture our attention between his mother and infant brother dur- the book, turn it over, and start it again. I while leaving us longing for more. ing breastfeeding, to the “poison dripping found this novel so captivating it begged for Drawn into the busy, disorientating worlds from generation to generation” that Patrick another read straight away. of mid and post War London, we are stimu- is determined not to pass on to his sons. St One of the most remarkable things about lated by the prospect of playing detective. Aubyn’s lucid, cool, and in some respects, this excellent novel is that it ignites a spark We soon realise that the four characters blunt, prose details Patrick’s increasing of curiosity in the reader that is never fully must be connected; the task that we then set reliance on drugs and alcohol to enable him quenched. The story concerns four main ourselves, gathering clues to make the puzzle to survive, Mary’s devotion to her sons, characters who are connected in more ways pieces of their relationships fit together, Robert and Thomas, and the subsequent than is first apparent. One rudimentary forces us to engage with the novel on anoth- erosion of her own identity, and at the other thread binds them from the outset; they are er level. Reading The Night Watch is there- end of the family spectrum, the increasing all sharing the experience of living in London fore deeply satisfying. Even the more horrif- senility of Patrick’s mother Eleanor. His during and after World War II. Life is diffi- ic elements of the subject matter (and I’m portrayal of the Melrose family is at times cult, frightening, and confusing; but Waters trying not to give too much away here), such bleak and tormented, seeming to embrace does not shy away from the undesirable but as abortion and suicide, are handled so skil- the inevitability of the Larkinesque cycle of realistic truth that life during the war was fully that, though we are moved, gripped, family fuck-ups. Yet in all its bleakness St also exciting. Often, the characters do not and shocked by it, we still feel compelled to Aubyn’s narrative is incredibly profound, at look forward to a time when the war is over; turn the pages. times scathingly witty, and deeply sensitive instead, they consider with tredipation the Yet Waters resists the urge to turn The in his exploration of his characters and their changes that will occur in peace time. What Night Watch into an exercise in schlock individual psyches and idioms. His charac- will happen to them: where will they work, thriller chic - using its evocative setting as Patrick Melrose, the protagonist of St terization is distinctly aural, focusing on where will they go, who will they be with? sly window dressing. Without crassly parad- Aubyn’s previous New Hope trilogy, individual uses of language as Robert and Waters shows us that the danger of the time ing the broader issues at stake, The Night returns in Mother’s Milk with his wife, Thomas develop their own voices mingled breeds a sense of fragility and desperation of Watch subtly shows that the phrase ‘peace Mary, who has openly abandoned her rela- with echoes of their parents, and Eleanor spirit; however, as we see both sides of the time’ is a misnomer; the end of a war does tionship with him in her determination to gradually loses her faculties for communica- war, we realise that what rises out of the not always bring personal peace. We are be the mother she herself lacked in child- tion following a series of strokes. Realistic chaos often ends with the war itself. instead disturbed to discover a fondness for hood. In trying to “hack through the dead without being pessimistic, St Aubyn por- Waters spins her tale in bits and pieces, life during conflict not often expressed in lit- wood of her own conditioning, through the trays a family in all its dysfunctional glory, shooting backwards and forwards in time erature. overcompensation, through the exhaustion while examining the emotionally bruised and allowing us to peer over the shoulder of - Alexandra Finlay and the irritation and the terror, through individuals within it, each struggling with different characters episodically. This dizzy- Reviewer’s Odds: 4–1 the tension between dependency and inde- the “instinct for love” they cannot control ing approach to story-telling could easily Ladbrokes Odds: 5–4 pendence” Mary desperately seeks the and desperately seeking not to hand on the become irritating, but Waters approach is “instinct for love” at the root of parenthood. misery they themselves have felt to the It is this “instinct” that shapes St Aubyn’s more sophisticated than that. Instead she Check out varsity.co.uk for reviews of Kirin next generation. - Mother’s Milk. Parental influence in all its - Nell Pearce-Higgins manipulates this device so that we are Desai’s The Inheritance of Loss and Kate complexity dominates all the relationships, Reviewers Odds: 3–1 offered tantalising glimpses – a view from a Grenville’s The Secret River window; an illicit meeting between two from the child Robert’s envious longing for Ladbrokes Odds : 5–1

Carry Me Down - M.J. Hyland

11 year-old John Egan is convinced that he Pan, refusing to grow up. from its shock value, covering domestic vio- aspect of his character – he is unusually tall has a rare talent: he can tell when people Hyland has a deft touch, dealing with the lence, poverty, depression, repressed homo- – seems to have been included predominant- are lying. As his family life changes and he story’s most shocking moments, as well as sexuality, public pant-wetting and kitten ly to make him more freakish. I was left finds himself isolated at school, this sensitiv- those of tenderness, with concise, evocative death in one resolutely grim volume. There with an impression of gratuitous grime and ity becomes an obsession. prose. John is so vividly conjured that he is is a welcome smattering of humour, and it is squalor, scrabbling for deeper meaning. Pivoting on John’s unusually close rela- almost stifling, and the spare, unflinching not without warmth, but by the end I was Nevertheless, Carry Me Down is an tionship with his mother, Carry Me Down is language can be brutally affecting, such as gasping for release. excellent character study and a gripping an exploration of focussed, claustrophobic in one scene in which he watches his father Hyland is a compelling, confident writer, evocation of dysfunctional love. If you like love. John’s character is key to the book’s drown a kindle of kittens. The writing is forcing us to empathise even as we writhe tense, disturbing reads with a psychological fascination: combining innocence, resent- stark yet subtle, the tension held at teeth- in discomfort, but I wasn’t sure what her bent, you’ll find this abounds with vicarious ment and stubborn obsession, he deals with grinding levels, and the characters drawn point was. It is as if harsh subject matter is horrors. pain through cold analysis. He is resource- with a perceptive understanding that pin- somehow thought to validate itself. The - Rebecca Varley-Winter ful, lucid, yet emotionally atrophied, and so points how and why we lie. result is memorable in its intensity, but the Reviewers Odds: 5–1 persistent that he becomes frightening, like Yet the story left me cold. Set in Ireland source of John’s more disturbed characteris- Ladbrokes Odds: 6–1 a combination of Norman Bates and Peter in the early 1970s, it gets much of its power tics was left curiously ambiguous, and one In the Country of Men - Hisham Matar

Hisham Matar’s first novel, In the Country spends the night curled next to her son, lation which had little independent voice at of Men, works on two clear levels. The first mumbling the story of her forced marriage the time of the revolution. is that of national and international intrigue, and the wedding she refers to as “that black It is tempting to speculate that Matar’s the tale of the bravery and dangers of day”. place on the Booker shortlist is politically counter revolutionary action in Qaddafi’s The “men” of the novel’s title again motivated, and In the Country of Men, with Libya. The second is far more intimate and refers to two distinct camps. Strange men its discussion of Islamic society, democracy personal, the story of one young boy’s inabil- follow Suleiman and his mother home from and dictatorship, undoubtedly has contem- ity to understand his country’s political their shopping trip, remain staked outside porary relevance. But what makes the novel make up and his infantile, insatiable love for his house and appear on national television, deserving of such recognition is the power his parents. interrogating his former neighbour, a uni- of the simple voice it presents. At times the We see the changing face of Libya versity professor. Yet this “country of men” voice of Suleiman borders on the uninterest- through the simple yet precise narrative of has a different resonance when viewed ing, but his nine-year old eyes have the abil- nine-year old Suleiman. During his father’s through the character of Suleiman’s mother. ity to make incisive comment about the bru- many disappearances from the household, Her reliance on the men of the novel – her tal injustices of politics and the difficulties disguised as business trips but in fact part of own father originally, Suleiman’s father, her an individual has in finding his place in both his work for the underground conspirators, husband’s male friends, even Suleiman him- the family unit and the wider world. his mother falls “ill”, drinking illegal “medi- self – and her complicated, yet ultimately cine” bought illicitly from the local baker. loving relationship to the man she was - Jennifer Thomson Suleiman’s father is ten years his wife’s sen- forced into marrying, shows us that Matar is Reviewers Odds: 9–1 ior and, drunk and lonely, the boy’s mother here giving life to a section of Libya’s popu- Ladbrokes Odds: 8–1

28 varsity.co.uk/arts | 06.10.06

Reviews ##### Keane The Footlights National Tour Joe Thomas on being funny on the road

I rubbed my arm again. It was really hurt- The local people were amazing – having ing now. I couldn’t believe I’d signed up for an old fella stop me in the street in this lark. What was I thinking? I’d heard Manchester and give me a run-down of his Independent writer-director Lodge of pain, confusion and torturing paranoia. about the Footlights National Tour from favourite sketches was really humiliating, Kerrigan’s third feature opens in a noisy, The unsteady style of direction allows us my friends, and I basically signed up as a and made me feel so stupid. It almost didn’t crowded Manhattan Port Authority bus to at times share in William’s panic and dis- joke. I literally couldn’t believe it when I matter that he’d got two of the sketches the terminal. William Keane (Damian Lewis) orientation. The sheer hostility of his envi- got the part – much less that it was the wrong way round– we can’t all be on the frantically asks passers-by whether they ronment - a cocaine alley at night, the clini- main part, and that I was to be put on an Footlights National Tour I suppose. have seen his daughter, Sophie. It soon cal glare of urban lights, the dismal grey aeroplane and treated like a prince (the It wasn’t always easy. It was a long and transpires that her abduction happened walls of an inner city school and a grimy Footlights are not known for doing things painful road, and I felt like there were peo- months earlier. As his search drives him club toilet - further conspire to build up the by halves). ple laughing on it, trying to stop me. There into the sordid world of booze, drugs and audience’s impression of his intense psycho- I’d moved to London with my fiancée, were days when I felt I couldn’t carry on. casual sex, we are even led to wonder logical isolation. Kerrigan’s confident deci- trying to start a new life. Our wedding was The real low point came on a Thursday. whether it happened at all. Either a sion to use very little music contributes to so perfect – she loved it. After the big day She’d gone to church (her mother is tragedy has driven this man to madness, or the film’s stark and austere realism. It also my fiancée started working nights at a local Russian Orthodox) and I bought a massive madness has caused him to imagine a adds to our awareness of the disturbing and pub, while I spent all day sitting at home, chicken. I couldn’t eat any of it. I felt so stu- tragedy. This ambiguity is a gripping one. all-consuming nature of William’s internal wracking my brains. I just couldn’t think of pid. My friends were amazing. They just The raw and jerky camera work suggests world. It is only when he tries to banish anything to do. laughed and said I shouldn’t blame myself. an improvised, documentary-style realism, from his head those voices which so violent- I had two weeks to say my goodbyes and They even made a grave for the chicken. I’d but the film is in fact a three-part drama. ly alarm him that the Four Tops’ I Just then I had to leave. It seemed incredibly been such an idiot. After William has searched alone for his Can’t Help Myself blares conspicuously heartless. In hindsight, it isn’t heartless. At the end of the tour, I walked down the daughter, he meets and forms an undefined from the bar’s speakers. Lewis’ perform- Tradition is a thread that connects us to our corridor, shaking people’s hands. I couldn’t relationship with Lynn (Amy Ryan), while ance throughout is magnificent, as he com- ancestors, and anybody who doesn’t realise stop laughing. I’d finally made it. After all the final half hour of the film is concerned municates the volatile but vulnerable that has obviously never served. the horror of my degree, I’d finally made it. with his interaction with Lynn’s daughter, nature of the mentally ill. The National Tour is the pinnacle of the Simon bought me a massive bouquet of Kira (Abigail Breslin). Keane provides us Kerrigan’s film succeeds as a drama of Footlights years. Like everything in tulips. He was just standing there at the with a riveting portrait of a man on the both heart-stopping suspense and psycho Cambridge, the Footlights Comedy Club is top of the corridor. His face burst into a brink of despair, poverty and insanity. But logical subtlety, with an accumulative emo- big. Try taking eighteen of the liveliest tal- smile. “You did it”. He stopped the taxi at the nadir of his existence, William’s tional resonance and authenticity all too ents in Britain and putting them in a room because he wanted to show me the sunset. involvement with this little girl allows him rare in contemporary American cinema. together, then press play. The results are He was right. My face burst into a smile. to discover friendship and responsibility in Dark, gritty but compelling; no wonder it often unpredictable. Many of the bunch are “You were right all along!”. I wanted people a heartless world. has enjoyed an extended run at the NFT. insatiably competitive. Basically, if you’re a to know how happy I was, but Simon was The camera watches Keane’s face at Go see. quitter, then we’ve no time for you – Sorry. the only one there. every moment, searching for every flicker Alice Whitman THE CRITICAL LIST

The best VISUAL ARTS MUSIC And the rest... of the week Rodin Exhibition The Lemonheads It’s a slow start for the visual arts in Cambridge Evan Dando brings out a brand new album. this term, but this Kettle’s Yard exhibition is Perhaps he’ll finally stop being a quirky, still worth a look. If you have time, pop around the back to the house. highly-paid open-micster and produces some MUSIC great, original material. For a change.

SCREEN The Killers David Hasselhoff Jump in my car EP The History Boys New outing from the Killers. We love them. Released on October 13th. Will they break America? No. He’s still living off his days in Nightrider. Its so outrageous you can’t help but love him. Perhaps there have been enough depictions of Northern boys coming good, but this adaptation WEB GOING OUT of Alan Bennet’s play might be the film to break the mould. Probably not. Expect thick accents, www.varsity.co.uk Shut up and Dance. meaningful silences and jokes about masturba- Friday’s at the Union. tion. Filmed in John’s, Trinity Hall and Queens. A cheap plug, but have a look at all the pretty n colours. It’s like the 60s but better organised. Shut up and go. Ha. Ha.

varsity.co.uk/arts | 06.10.06 29

##### Twelfth Night: ADC In this production of Shakespeare’s new life into some of Shakespeare’s most Twelfth Night, the stage design comple- famous and clichéd lines- a feat not to be ments the vibrant performance of the CAST. ignored. Unfortunately, the same cannot be Despite the minimal set, this show is any- said of Phil O’Farrell’s portrayal of Feste the thing but monochrome. The colour scheme jester. It seems that in this instance, works well, and the sparse stage and stark Shakespeare is funnier when he is not trying contrasts are most effective. All aspects to be. Phil’s musical interludes however, do work together to make this complicated play bring panache and flair to the show. comprehensible and unpretentious. The two leading ladies - Rebecca Pitt Dan Martins’ portrayal of Malvolio exudes (Viola/Cesario) and Laura Bates - give good, absurdity, frustration, and indignant indigni- though not faultless, performances. Laura’s ty at every turn. At one high point of the command of Shakespearian verse is formida- action, Malvolio seduces the audience ble; she speaks it beautifully, naturally and through a delicious display of bizarrely erot- clearly, and undoubtedly shows significant ic hand licking, his entire body recreating his talent in her role. There were moments, frustrated sexual and hierarchical ambition. however, when it felt as if she was just going Martins’ is both a tremendous and flamboy- through the motions. Rebecca was convinc- ant performance, and certainly not to be ing as Viola, even though her delivery of missed. iambic pentamenter was not wholly convinc- Malvolio’s absurdity provides the spring- ing throughout. Her monologue upon the board for the shenanigans so delightfully discovery of Olivia’s love for her was truly performed by Sirs Toby Belch (Ade touching, and her nervous desire as Cesario O’Brien), Andrew Aguecheek (Thomas was well done and amusing. The fight scene Yarrow), and their accomplice, Maria was also a triumph. There could, however, (Frances Stevenson). All three of these have been more disparity between her rep- debauched musketeers are riotously enter- resentation of Viola and Cesario, and her taining. The electricity between them is a scenes with re-discovered twin brother delight, particularly their well-directed cat- Sebastian are not as commendable. Their erwauling. Thomas Yarrow especially moment of reuniting does not strike quite excels, thanks to his exquisite comic timing the right chord, and the Sebastian did not and delivery. His cries of “Pistol him! Pistol seem to ease into his performance during him!” bring to mind a squiffy Bill Nighy, the course of the play. whilst the more tragic aspects of his charac- This is a classy, generally well executed ter are hinted at with admirable sensitivity and often amusing production of a classic and pathos. play, and you should go and see it. If you The professionalism of these actors is don’t manage to make it however, at least more than matched by Spencer Hughes as try and use the word “clodpole” in a sen- he commands the stage as Duke Orsino, tence today. masterfully capturing the character’s blend of ridicule and arrogance. Spenser breathes Moya Sarner

##### FOUR TET- Remixes ##### Chloë Hanslip and friends. West Road Concert Hall. No-one likes big-time remix- appropriately dystopian wash of beats, clicks The crucial aspect of this concert was the teasing economy of vibrato rounded the ers. They stir up images of and dissonant brass. period of study from which the performers work off as an auspicious overture to the horn rimmed spectacles and Working from a sturdier base, Bloc Party’s had emerged to give their week-long tour, evening. wankstains on laptops. But elegant (or wincingly cloying) So Here We Cambridge as their third stop. The Unfortunately, the next item, the Piano ngs Kieran Hebden has long avoid- Are is turned into an elegiac post-apocalyp- International Musicians’ Seminar, based in Trio in C minor, Hanslip taking the violin, is ce ed this with a reputation for diverse remixes tic swansong, or the soundtrack to a crude Prussia Cove, Cornwall, is a conference of in ways a disappointing work from that don’t shy away from occasional populist group hug on a drunken night out. But these established professionals and promising Mendelssohn’s pen. The first movement has touches. This, the first disc of two, is a selec- are unrepresentative. young instrumentalists and ensembles, with a most prosaic development section, and not tion of Hebden’s own favourite projects. Hebden’s talent is best shown when mixing individual masterclasses each April preced- one, but two formally redundant codas, to Opener, Lars Horntveth’s Tics is a promis- jazz, techno and hip-hop on the more diverse ing an autumn chamber music season. say nothing of the routine sequences and fig- ingly schizophrenic burst of microbeats and pieces. See, for example, his reworks It is exciting to hear that musicians such urations which strugglingly propel the argu- glitchy whirs . Much of what follows adheres Madvillain’s Money Folder and Bonobo’s as virtuoso violinist Chloë Hanslip, and the ment. Hanslip was never less than passion- to a similar template. Pick Up. So; boundlessly atmospheric, but Sacconi String Quartet (from the Royal ate in the work’s defence, and operated in Standouts are more well-known tracks as with much of Hebden’s work, this isn’t College of Music) can come together for near mirror symmetry with Christoph with vocals Hebden can work around- a dancefloor fodder, unless you’re seeking the intensive preparation of a small number of Richer, Ian Brown duly making light of the remix of Radiohead’s Scatterbrain from Hail perfect soundtrack to a night out in a zero- pieces. Too often, chamber music collabora- somewhat perfunctory keyboard writing. To The Thief buries Yorke’s vocals in an gravity airlock. tion can be the consequence of the whim of The ‘gondola-song’ Andante and muscular Was Yaqoob successful, though perhaps isolated, interna- Finale made for a more healthy competition tional virtuosos, with too little time to between the performers, and this was great- devote to the complete group integration ly appreciated by the sizeable audience. which such music requires. This was certain- If Mendelssohn had been below-par, ly not the case on Wednesday – with all Chausson, in his Concert for Violin, String musicians acutely sensitive to balance and Quartet and Piano, was exasperating. ##### BECK- The Information sonority, not least the 19-year-old Chloe Overlong, self-involved, amorphous Given that Beck has chosen to capped by an excerpt from the shipping fore- Hanslip, always an equal contributor to the Romantic decadence - heavy work made of include fun adhesive stickers in cast. Mendelssohn and Chausson works on dis- ephemeral material. Indeed, during the the packaging to his new The Beck trademarks- funky beats, languid play. Finale, the quasi-orchestral Sacconi strings album, you'd be forgiven for white-boy raps and jaunty acoustic guitar- Imogen Holst’s 1982 String Quintet – look somewhat wearied by the continual thinking that he was feeling are all still present, but even in the most modest in comparison to the examples in cadential interruptions (the programme light-hearted. Don’t be fooled: his mischief's upbeat songs there's an underlying sober- this genre by Mozart and Schubert – was apparently chosen by Steven Isserlis, the all but gone. At some point between 2004's ness. The first half plays like his early work nevertheless an ideal vehicle for the demon- ISM director). But again, faultless playing, Guero and the present, Beck got the blues. rediscovered in light of some bad news. The stration of the Sacconi Quartet’s complete and a most promising outing for Miss The return of Nigel Godrich as producer exception, Nausea, nods back to the Guero unanimity of tone and spirit (not to mention Hanslip and the Sacconi Quartet, from both can hardly have helped improve the mood. singles, but sits oddly within the muted the seamless addition of cellist-mentor of whom we look forward to hearing much Godrich is best known for his work with atmosphere. Christoph Richter). Holst employs the five more. kings of gloom, Radiohead, and the second However, surprisingly enough, this new instruments in many permutations (cello half of the album carries this signature mark. mood suits Beck. The music no longer sounds duet, viola solo, violin accompaniment). Her James Drinkwater Tense electronic soundscapes and other- like it all might just be one big in-joke, and, use of all instruments in the treble clef, in worldly vocals dominate tracks like Movie as ever when he's at his best, Beck's man- close modal clusters is most forward-looking, Theme, whilst on Horrible Fanfare/ aged to forge a coherence from the mess of a more silkily-seductive texture than when Landslide/Exoskeleton the music almost genres. Occasionally, this pushes through the the same forces are closely combined by veers into post-rock territory with a thir- melancholy to produce moments of uplifting composers such as MacMillan and Tavener, www.varsity.co.uk for an accompanying teen-minute stretch of ominous space-sounds beauty. with their brand of aggressive religiosity. A profile of Chloe Hanslip Katy Wells 30 varsity.co.uk/listings | 06.10.06 Listings FILMTHEATRE CONCERTS EXHIBITIONS GOING OUT

Keane Smoker Goo Goo Dolls The XFM Remix Tour

K Arts Picturehouse ADC Corn Exchange Soul Tree

E Damian Lewis stars in this First chance for freshers to Never sonic pioneers, its been a Eddy TM, The Infadels, Evil

E tense picture about a man who catch the eclectic and Hit and long time since the Goo Goo Nine, My Luminaries headline loses his daughter at a New Miss humour of Cambridge’s Dolls played anything edgy. But this one off party at the Soul

W York Bus Terminal. Lodge H. aspiring funny men and women. this is a fine opportunity to catch Tree, with other rooms given Kerrigan writes and directs. Be warned, Cambridge funny is some slick and mildly emotive over to local talent.

E not the same as Peter Kay AOR. Even if it is somewhat funny. Expect few to no fat man redolent of Mondeos. Unify H and many more surreal 72 King Street

T monologues and inappropriate The Unify shop on King’s props. Street stages regular F Twelfth Night exhibitions by exciting young

O ADC artists. Pop by this week for a great fashion exhibit.

K Last chance to catch the touring production of this classic C

I Shakespeare. If unstated then film shown at the

P Arts Picture House on Regent St.

Brick 8.30pm Caius Films Twelfth Night Jo Caulfield Fitzwilliam Museum Naughty An Inconvenient Truth 8.45pm 7.45pm ADC 8pm The Junction This big museum shows an 9pm-12.45am Queens’ Ents enormous variety of exhibitions. Keane 8.45pm Footlights presents Niceties Charles Siem Classical Violin Showing for all of October. FRI Hard Candy 11.15pm 11pm ADC 1.10pm Kettle’s Yard Matrix 11pm ICE Out of the Box Goo Goo Dolls Clerks II 11.50pm Vue 2pm Kings CollegeKeynes Hall 7.30pm Corn Exchange An Inconvenient Truth 8.45pm Twelfth Night Boomslang Heaven & Hell 6 Keane 2.30pm & 7.45pm ADC 10pm The Junction 9pm-12.45am Queens’ Ents 12pm, 2.30pm, 6.30pm Hard Candy 11.15pm Footlights presents Niceties Elvis That’s The Way It Was SAT Matrix 11pm 11pm ADC 7.30pm Corn Exchange The Death of Mr Lazarescu 3.10pm, 6pm Easy Rider 7pm, 10pm The Trouble with Asian Men Imogen Heap Chasing Happiness: Maurice The Sunday Service Launch 7St Johns Films FREE C m a y e i d a t s a t 7.30pm Corn Exchange Maeterlinck. Club Twenty-Two o p n b h n E s i E s Memoirs of a Geisha 6pm, 9pm tackle multiculturalism. The Blue Bird and England. Vicars, tarts and cheese SUN Robinson Films 7.45pm Cambridge Arts Theatre Showing from Oct through to 7th Keane 12pm, 2.30pm, 6.30pm £10 Jan. The History Boys 11am An Inconvenient Truth 5,9.15pm The French Lieutenant’s Public Enemy Hip Hop Crowd Control 8Echo Park L.A. 3pm, 7pm Woman 7pm The Junction 9pm- 3am Soul Tree Story of forbidden love. NUSdiscount on entry before11 Keane 12.45pm, 3pm, 7pm Familie Floz Mask Theatre 7.45pm Cambridge Arts Theatre MON TheDeparted 12pm, 3, 6 & 9pm 8pm The Junction Belly Dancing £10 Zidane: A 21st Century 8pm The Union Bar Portraight 1pm, 5pm, 9pm An Inconvenient Truth 5pm Closer Paul Carrack Rodin: All About Eve precious* Launch Party 9 Echo Park L.A. 3pm 7.45pm ADC 7.30pm Corn Exchange French sculptor Auguste Rodin’s 10pm-2am Club Twenty Two profound realism and beauty [email protected] Keane 12.45pm, 3pm, 7pm Smoker Seth Lakeman encapsulated in two life-size for limited guestlist TUE TheDeparted 12pm, 3, 6 & 9pm 11pm ADC 7pm The Junction Whiskey 1.30pm bronzes and one smaller piece. Kettle’s Yard until 19th Nov. The Last Laugh 9.15pm An Inconvenient Truth 1.15,9pm Closer St Petersburg Symphony The XFM Remix Tour 10 Keane 7.45pm ADC Orchestra Soul Tree 11am, 3pm, 7pm 7.30pm Corn Exchange www.xfm.co.uk TheDeparted 12pm, 3, 6 & 9pm The Gently Progressive WED The Quiet Revolution: Chinese Behemoth The Lemonheads Rumboogie Village Self-Governance 6pm 11pm ADC 7pm The Junction 9pm-2am Ballare Whale Rider 4.30pm Chariots Of Fire 7.30pm, Closer NME Rock N Roll Riot Tour Unify 11 10.30pm Christ's Films 7.45pm ADC 7pm The Junction Street fashion. Graphics. Coming up on Friday 13th... Photography. Yeah. Shut Up and Dance! An Inconvenient Truth 3,7&9.15 The Gently Progressive On King Street. Exhibitions Launch Night THU Keane 12.45pm, 3pm, 7pm Behemoth change monthly. 9pm-1am The Union Beau Travail 5pm 11pm ADC The Departed 12, 3, 6 & 9pm 12 Dita Von Tesse meaning: less fabric, more flesh. CSS Koko, Camden Call her brash and vulgar, but Scala, London the Mistress wil have you For one night only, Dita Von The band- not the computer begging for more. As a founding Teese, self proclaimed 'queen of programming language- will be member of the Burlesque Burlesque' will taking a break heading to King's Cross mid

W revival, she is not to be missed. from her glamorous gothic November. Cancion De Ser Sexy Who knows when she will come lifestyle to wow the crowds at (yes, that's what it stands for) are O UK side next- and when she does Camden's Koko. Everyone loves definitely set to be a 'hot hot' it will probably be for another

N a Teese, and she is sure not to ticket. If you like electro/indie slick Vivienne Westwood ad disappoint. Expect a hybrid of baselines and Peaches style campaign. Victorian restraint wear and lyrics- then this one is for you.

K Don your brothel creepers and 1950s pinup, served Bettie Page With songs like Art Tit, and slick your hair like Johnny Cash, style. words like 'Music is my King O or cinch in your waist and paint Though perhaps more famous Size bed'- these sex brained your lips a vampish red. Then

O for her mariage to goth maestro, Brasilians know how to hit you head off to a decadent night at Marilyn Manson, Dita's shows where it...pleasures? the mercy of the Queen Teese. I B are not for the faint hearted. bet you'll be jealous of Mr 14th Nov £8.50 This woman oozes sex appeal Manson afterward . and is a born performer. 'Titilation' takes on a whole new 15th Oct £25

varsity.co.uk/discuss | 06.10.06 31

Cambridge Crisis: answers to your problems If you are interested in being »‘My neighbour shows her enjoyment of sex in a very vocal manner’ a writer, sub- editor, illustrator, Dear Varsity, able and embarrassing to say the further comments on my behalf, lem, but it has reached the stage least, and it is really stopping me she maintains that it isn’t a real where her nocturnal (and day- production I have a rather embarrassing sleeping. problem, and just turns it into a time) activity is causing a real assistant or a problem, and I’m not entirely sure I have tried the ‘usual’ tactics, joke. I don’t want to make it into a problem, interrupting sleep and who to turn to. My problem turning music up, coughing loudly big issue, especially as I am still at work. member of our involves my next door neighbour, and even some gentle knocking on the stage of making friends and who has a lot of male company the wall, but it does nothing to really don’t want to make an Please help! newly relaunched and shows her enjoyment during cool her ardour. I spoke to her enemy. online team, please sex in a very vocal manner. I find briefly about the issue, but she I am loathe to approach Laura her screaming delight uncomfort- brushed it off, and despite several Accommodation about the prob- email business@ varsity.co.uk, or Dear Laura, body seems to be a cringer these days tum, sinking silent, shaken and forlorn come to our and nobody, by most accounts, is a back to the depths of her messy, but It does seem very early in the term noisy doer of the deed). disappointed mattress. Possibly she squash to meet us. for your neighbour to have made As with eczema, there’s no real will transfer the image to her part- quite so many male friends but I can solution, but there’s a few things you ner’s face, which will make her readily see that she is causing you an can try which might help. Doctors and scream, but that’s a small price to pay environmental health problem. GPs like to prescribe chemicals for for a whole term of relative quiet. Fortunately there are several this sort of thing but usually, under things you can do. Maybe you can these circumstances, medicine ends in All the best, The Varsity persuade her that she really ought to crime, or murder (which is both a Tom Sharpe, Footlights go outmore? Perhaps you can get her crime and a bad thing). So here are Squash invited to some all-night parties that some organic alternatives: Ok, on the face of it this is rather an take place somewhere else? Could • Record yourself faking an orgasm amusing situation, but if it is interfer- ta bouche you persuade her men friends to take (or a death, or anything else that’s ing with your work and sleep it is her back to their places? annoying to hear), then leave it play- just as serious a problem as loud 10-15 Market It is probably illegal to put bromide ing on repeat at full volume every music or any other noise distur- in her coffee but there is one last time you leave your room. bance… This is certainly not the first Passage resort you could try... • Record your neighbour having a (or even the second) time someone There are some particularly enthu- real orgasm and do the same. has come to me with this problem. Sidney Street siastic handbell ringers in Cambridge • Next time you hear the tell tale Usually the first thing to do when Tuesday 10th at the moment who think nothing of moans, saw a very indiscreet hole in you have a problem in college is talk to ringing bells for anything up to 17 the wall, as ostentatiously as you can your tutor. They usually have years October, 8pm hours without a break. You could (perhaps whistling while you work), of experience dealing with all kinds of arrange a temporary room-swap with then either film the culprits and problems. However, if you suspect Cocktails half price some of them. The rhythmic monoto- threaten to sell the footage on ebay if that your tutor doesn’t even remem- ny of their activities is guaranteed to they carry on, or say, ‘emm… please ber how to have sex let alone advise have her pleading for a truce on any could you stop that,’ and do a strange you on this matter, then talking to terms you offer. Peace will be and disconcerting dance which fails to your peers might be an easier option. restored. conclude your plea in any congruous Every college has a JCR and MCR. I will happily make the arrange- way. They will be able to suggest an appro- ments if you wish. • Fight fire with fire. Shag loudly and priate course of action, which may often in revenge. include having a quiet word with your Frank King • Find a photo of your neighbour’s noisy neighbour and reminding all The University Bellringer face at its most hideous (photoshop it students that they should respect the if necessary to accentuate blemishes, people they live with and keep the Laura, scars, rashy dry patches near the noise level to a minimum. If this fails put up with anything that has a nega- ears), then enlarge it a hundred fold to do the trick, you would do well to tive effect on your work and welfare. This is a common problem, though not and stick it to her a door with a note suggest to your welfare officer that a Your college and your neighbour pandemic, clearly; there seems to be saying: ‘when you climax, you look campaign in college encouraging stu- should understand that. Good luck! one noisy irritant else for every silent like this.’ At the crucial moment, the dents to maintain their corridors as cringing somebody (mathematically haunting image will float eerily into work and sleep friendly places. Love Sam and Harriet impossible -I admit - given that every- her head and she’ll lose all momen- Remember, you should not have to (CUSU Welfare and Women’s)

Varsity crossword no. 454 Varsity.co.uk: Games Concise Poll Results Crossword 12 3 45

6 We asked: How much money 7 will you be blowing this fresh-

8 ers’ week? »Down »Across a) Entire loan. 9 b) <£300 1) Wolk like (6) 1) Give milk (7) c) £100 2) Cut (6) 4) Instruct (5) 10 11 3) Luddite (11) 7) Bare, simple (4) d) Under £20 5) Fraudsters (8) 8) Curmudgeon (11) 6) God of Wine (8) 9) Sleep (4) 7) Carousel (5-2-5) 10) Night before (3) 12 13 14 11) By way of (3) 12) Tardy, slow (5) 12) Hit (4) 14) Bars, billets (6) d) 13) Stylish (4) 16) Pacify (7) 16% a) 15) Swirl (4) 18) Egg-shaped (5) 15 32% 17) Distress (5) 19) Asian language (4) 20) Stem, bullrush (4) 21) Crazy (5) 16 17 18 c) 22) Waugh novel, ___ Revisted (10) b) 19 20 38% 12%

21 Do you want to write our crossword next week? 22 Write to [email protected] Vote online today: varsity.co.uk Careers Service events

For undergraduates and postgraduates of all degree disciplines. All years welcome.

CONSULTANCY EVENT – TUES 10 OCTOBER 2006, 1.00-6.00pm

Accenture Detica Limited P A Consulting Group Analysys Mason Group Diamond Parthenon Arthur D. Little Ltd Ernst & Young PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP – Bain & Company, Inc IBM United Kingdom Limited Strategy Group BearingPoint Ltd LECG Roland Berger Booz Allen Hamilton L.E.K. Consulting LLP RSe Consulting Boston Consulting Group Marakon Associates Sg2 Capgemini UK Mars & Co Spectrum Strategy Consultants CHP Consulting McKinsey & Company Stroud and Company (Europe) Ltd Corporate Value Associates Mercer Management Consulting Watson Wyatt LLP CRA International Mercer Oliver Wyman ZS Associates Credo Monitor Group .....and others Deloitte OC&C Strategy Consultants

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ABN AMRO Dresdner Kleinwort MMC Group Baillie Gifford Ernst & Young Morgan Stanley Bank of America Fidelity International N M Rothschild & Sons Limited Bank of England Financial Services Authority (FSA) Operis Group plc Barclays Bank plc Glencore PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP Barclays Capital Goldman Sachs International Ltd RBC Capital Markets BDO Stoy Hayward LLP HM Revenue & Customs (HMRC) Reuters Limited Bear Stearns International Ltd HSBC Corporate, Investment Royal Bank of Scotland BlackRock Banking and Markets RSM Robson Rhodes LLP BNP Paribas Institute of Chartered Accountants Saunderson House Limited Cambridge Associates of England & Wales Smith & Williamson Capital Group of Companies JPMorgan Standard Life Investments Capital One Bank (Europe) plc KBC Financial Products UK Ltd Teach First Citigroup KPMG UBS CQS Management Ltd Lazard Watson Wyatt LLP Credit Suisse Lehman Brothers International WestLB AG D E Shaw (USA) Lloyds TSB Group plc Deloitte Macquarie Bank Deutsche Bank Merrill Lynch

UNIVERSITY CENTRE, GRANTA PLACE (GRADPAD)

Check our website, the Careers Service Guide, and Diary for full details of all our events, employers, careers, and many ideas from the conventional to the unconventional. www.careers.cam.ac.uk Deutsche Bank Open House You’re innovative, talented and want to push yourself. You are looking for an employer with whom you can realize your greatest ambitions. Come to the Deutsche Bank Open House and find out what perspectives we can offer you: Date: Wednesday 11th October 2006 Time: Drop in anytime between 6.00pm - 8.00pm Location: University Arms Hotel, Regent Street, Cambridge Sign Up: To guarantee your place and gain fast entry into the event, register online in the ‘Events’ section of www.db.com/careers The Open House is designed to meet the needs of both the focused student fine tuning his or her career choices; as well as those exploring the investment banking industry for the first time. You can foster personal discussions with a wide range of business and recruiting professionals on the featured topics of the event. Expect the better career. For details on our divisions and to apply online, visit www.db.com/careers

A Passion to Perform.

Varsity publishes THE MAYS, a collection of prose, poetry and non-fiction writing from students in Cambridge and Oxford.

Applications are now open to edit and design THE MAYS 15. Deadline for Applications: October 16

Email [email protected] for details. >HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACH: You may Advertise on this Classifieds miss being 21, but not as much as i >MODELS REQUIRED: For life miss you when you aren’t here. AJE page from just drawing, £11 per hour (inexperienced > CONGRATULATIONS MR BLAND. The models welcome). Contact: Mr Varsity team members that had the Kourbaj, Visual Art Centre, Christ’s pleasure of working with you, would like College. Email: [email protected] to wish you a very Happy Birthday. £20!E-mail: [email protected] Il Barbiere 22 Magdalene Street (01223) 506 914

If you have done established for 16 years in Cambrdige;s a gap year cooking oldest Street course and could cater for Student Discounts: one pound off, occasional private dinner or Monday to Friday cocktail parties in Open 6 days a week: Cambridge, please call 8.30am - 5.30pm 01223 276 162 Well known Agony Aunt seeks 33 Regent Street Parkers Barber Shop organised, hard-working, willing (01223) 471 582 office assistant to work in her small, friendly team. Free Coffee from 8.30am - 11am Flexible 11 hrs p/w; £7/hour; Central Cambridge location; Student Discounts: Do you think you may be one pound off, Monday to Friday Term time only acceptable. anaemic? For further info. email recruit- [email protected] Open 6 days a week: Iron deficiency is the most common form of 8.30am - 5.30pm nutritional deficiency and it affects 10-30% of menstruating women in European countries. Therefore we are running a research study to investigate how well iron is absorbed from dietary supplements. FANCY VOLUNTEER WORK ON A FARM IN AFRICA? Well Paid Student Reps Wanted HARNAS WILDLIFE FOUNDATION IN If you think your iron levels might be low and you NAMIBIA (SOUTH-WEST AFRICA) IS - Work involves helping with distributing our magazine are: TAKING BOOKINGS NOW FOR NOVEMBER - 1 day’s worth of work in the second week of October • Otherwise healthy 2006 UNTIL DECEMBER 2007. LIMITED • Female aged 18-45 years NUMBERS (20 PER MONTH) AVAILABLE. 1- - Completely flexible hours • Willing to attend MRC HNR on 4 occasions over 3 MONTHS CONTRACTS. a6-weeks period (including 2 visits of 5 hours) - Opportunity to claim a larger part of the project if you form a • Willing to give blood samples WORK WITH ADULT AND BABY LIONS, team with your friends CHEETAHS, LEOPARDS, WILD DOGS, WARTHOGS, PORCUPINES, MONGOOSE, - Access to a car is a plus, but not essential Please contact Dr Dora Pereira on (01223) 426356 CROCODILES, ZEBRA, BABOONS, APES or e-mail [email protected] AND MONKEYS. THIS IS THE To apply please email your contact details and your college to You will be reimbursed for participation in the study and for reasonable OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME! travel expenses WEBSITE: http://www.work-in-africa.com [email protected] EMAIL: [email protected] Michaelmas 2006 Cambridge’s Science Magazine

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varsity.co.uk/sport | 06.10.06 37

Tel: 01223 353 422 Sportsdesk Email: [email protected]

Sports Fixtures Embarrassment Grows as and Trials

Cantabs remain pool-less Hockey Matches Saturday 7th October, Dereham vs. the Men’s Blues and Spalding vs. »Swimmers and polo players are desperate for a University pool the Wanderers. Swimming Trials nical note, a 50m pool would provide Saturday 7th October, 6-8pm, the the opportunity for water polo to be Leys School pool. played double-deep. Currently play- ers are forced to scrabble around in a Women’s Water Polo pool that is both too narrow, too short Trials and too shallow, trying desperately Sunday 8th October, 11am-12.30pm, not to touch the bottom, a particular the Leys School pool. embarrassment when teams visit for matches. It is a mark of the dedication Men’s Water Polo Trials of University swimmers and polo Sunday 8th October, 12.30-2pm, the players in the face of these adverse Leys School pool. conditions that teams regularly beat Oxford in the annual varsity matches Women’s Football Trials and reach the BUSA finals. Saturday 7th October., 2pm-4pm at Yet, these are not the arguments Fitz sports ground, Oxford Road. that will ultimately win over the University, and it is to them that we Freshers’ Fun Run Sunday 8th October, 2.30pm “Players cur- onwards, Wilberforce Road. Rugby Union Match rently train in a Tuesday 10th October, Blues vs. pool that is too Bedford (away match). short, too nar- Women’s Hockey Trials Friday 6th October, 1pm-3pm and row and too Sunday 8th October, 10am, shallow” Wilberforce Road. Men’s Hockey Trials The University water polo players compete in Calella, Spain, where the facilities put ours to shame Friday 6th October, 3pm-6pm. Pre- season training starts September including a sports hall, squash and ten- own pool. 7th, Wilberforce Road. SOPHIE PICKFORD nis courts, 50m pool and sports science The sports complex envisaged by centre are underway; architectural the powers that be would place must primarily appeal. Efforts are Canoeing Sessions In 1892 the Cambridge Review models have been built, a site chosen Cambridge at the very top of its field being made to fund-raise, and for that Saturday 6th October, 12pm-3pm observed that “a swimming bath is and fundraising has begun. But, as in the country in terms of sporting we are grateful, but the dominance of on the river starting from the canoe now beginning to be considered as a with the fabled Cambridge rowing facilities. Shockingly, the UK houses individually wealthy colleges and the club sheds. Pool session from 2pm- necessity in most of our large public lake, this has all been going on for in total only nineteen 50m pools, with virtual absence of a centralised, power- 3.30pm, Leys School pool. schools.” “Consequently”, the article rather a long time and a new injection a mere two in London, a statistic put ful body makes raising money for these continues, “it seems strange that we of enthusiasm, publicity or perhaps into sharp relief by Paris, which alone sorts of projects extremely difficult. In Athletics Introductory are still without one.” This astute com- more importantly, money, must be the has twenty. The 2012 Olympics will Oxford’s case it was an individual donor Session mentator of 114 years ago could, sadly, order of the day. In the meantime, the result in a further 50m facility for Lief Rosenblatt who finally came up Saturday 7th October, 1pm, just as well have been writing this University swimming and water polo London, but often buildings erected with the millions of pounds necessary Wilberforce Road track. week, for the travesty continues – clubs continue to use the Leys school for such large events result in the clo- for a pool. Such fairy godfathers do not Cambridge University has no pool. pool for most of their training, one of sure of other, smaller pools for finan- always appear, however, and as one of Women’s Netball Trials Bath has one, and so do, amongst oth- the University’s less fine traditions cial reasons. the world’s leading Universities, Saturday 7th and Sunday 8th ers, the Universities of Oxford, stretching back to 1906. Parkside is The Cambridge University pool Cambridge should take more immedi- October, Trinity Field Courts. Nottingham, London, Loughborough, sometimes used, though the prohibi- would become a focal point for swim- ate, personal responsibility for the Warwick, Bristol, Southampton, tively high costs of hiring out this city- ming and water polo in the east of building of this facility. Its absence sug- Revolver & Pistol Club Bradford, Aberystwyth, Chester and run pool along with its limited avail- England, hosting major competitions gests that Cambridge takes little inter- Session De Montfort, but somehow the gleam- ability severely restricts its use by the and providing a cheap means of exer- est in the well-rounded scholar, some- Sunday 8th and Monday 9th ing spires and hallowed halls of our student-run University club. Every cising for the University population as thing that will only increase the rate of October, Elizabeth Way Range. internationally renown establishment year thousands of pounds of student a whole. Even with a city leisure card the ‘brain drain’ to the States and to have yet to house such a facility. subs are being spent on booking these the price of a single swim at Parkside other UK universities. Perhaps it is To be fair to the University, plans facilities, money that would surely be is £2.20, an amount similar to that of a this more academic argument that the for a multi-million pound sports centre better spent running the University’s college canteen meal. On a more tech- University will finally respond to. Smashing Stuff Basketball team in winning streak

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 40 ing for the Varsity dinner were not highest points differential. Lange, with another epic singles disappointed to witness one of the TERESA DENNIS With a relatively new team and a win, reduced the deficit to two before most exciting rounds of doubles in new coach, the women battled hard Tassell again showed why he was Varsity history, while their meals The University basketball teams have throughout the season, eventually undefeated all year, annihilating the were put on hold. had highly successful seasons of late. ending up a comfortable second place Oxford no. 1. Meanwhile, Murray had Murray and Goswami, now playing The men’s blues, who play in BUSA behind our long term rivals Oxford. lost another close singles and Cole had with new found confidence, trounced Midlands Division 1A, have recently Having suffered close defeats by made light work of the Oxford cap- their opposites, giving Cambridge the won the BUSA Shield and have won Oxford in the league, they were deter- tain, bringing the tie to 8-7 in favour of lead for the first time in the whole two two out of three of the last Varsity mined to win at Varsity in Oxford, but the dark blues. days. Tassell and Lange again found matches. Last season they came sec- narrowly lost as Oxford maintained Whilst May and Zavadov had strug- themselves in trouble, facing two ond in the league to Birmingham, their phenomenal unbeaten record. gled in the singles, they then found match points at 1-5 in the third set. who made it through the play offs to The highlight of their season came in top form in their doubles, taking out Miraculously, the Cambridge boys promotion. This year they hope to March as they charged through the the Oxford third pair. Tassell and showed immense fighting qualities, bring the Varsity title back to BUSA Trophy tournament and took a Lange succumbed to the sturdy winning six games in a row to get the Cambridge. The Lions (men’s second very satisfying victory in the Final Oxford second pair, whilst Murray vital eleventh rubber. team) had a fantastic season, despite a against Cardiff. and Goswami enjoyed a momentum- In his winner’s speech, May saved new squad, narrowly missing out on If you would like to play a part in win over the Oxford first pair. 9-9. his biggest thanks for his team mates, the league title by 3 points in the last this year’s team, the men’s trials will By this stage, with so many close congratulating them on a victory in minute of the deciding match of the be held on Fri. 6th October from 19:45- matches, and various complaints from what he described as the most fierce- season against Worcester 2nds. They 23:00 and the women’s on Sat. 7th local residents about the noise levels, ly contested match he had ever been a also managed to twice set new team October from 17:45-20:00. Trials will it was already 7.15pm. Old blues arriv- part of. records for most points scored as well be held at Kelsey Kerridge.

Varsity are looking for editors and designers for this year’s Graduation Yearbook. If you would like to get involved, please email: [email protected]

varsity.co.uk/sport | 06.10.06 39

Tel: 01223 353 422 Sportsdesk Email: [email protected]

Bluffer’s Guide Cambridge Climbers Live a to Climbing

New Type of Fear Climbing is all about jargon. If you don’t know a crimp from a karabin- er, you could end up betraying your- self as the novice you really are. But »CUMC mountaineers scale peaks in Bolivia, Greenland and the Alps for the determined bluffer, igno- rance is no obstacle. Kid yourself Established over a century ago, the you’re a grit fanatic with our handy University’s Mountaineering club has introduction to slang, but don’t a prolific and proud history, from think it’ll save you half way up George Band’s first ascent of Everest... Kangchenjunga in 1955 to Martin Moran’s non stop traverse of the Alpine 4000m summits in 1993. The Flash spirit of George Mallory (Magdalene), Flashing doesn’t mean exposing who was last seen “going strong” for yourself to a field of sheep and half the summit of Everest in 1924, contin- a dozen bemused climbers on a day ues within the club today. out in the Peak District. In fact, This summer, climbers from CUMC ‘flashing’ a route means climbing it led expeditions across the world. In on the first try without ever having Quimsa Cruz, Bolivia, members touched it before. Be careful boast- Ronan Kavanagh, Alan Dickinson, ing about how many you flashed Tom Stedall, Moira Herring and Sam last Sunday when you’re down the Hawkins climbed eight routes, of pub… which some were first ascents from a base camp 4600m high, a real achieve- Friend ment. A spring loaded piece of equip- ment placed in the rock to protect against falls. Should your climb- ‘I’ve made moves ing partner stop halfway up a route and protest that he or she I’m too scared to really needs a friend, don’t let go of the rope and rush up with tea reverse, with and sympathy. nothing Jam Sounds more exciting than it is. n betweeen me Jamming involves no music, just sore knuckles. It means to place and the ground’ your hand in the gap between two slabs of rock in the absence of any good hand holds. But it still sounds cool to announce you’re about to jam… The club has a proud tradition of pioneering first ascents. In summer Manky 2005, for example, eight CUMC A piece of protection that is ques- Alex Gaastra of Cambridge University Mountaineering Club clings for dear life to a rock face climbers successfully led new routes tionable; it may or may not hold a on rock and snow in fall. down, and repeat this process until ground and you must trust the rock Kangerdlugssuaq, Greenland. MILES TACKETT & somehow I pull on one of the small you cling to entirely. Back in Europe this summer, club Screw HELEN MORT edges, and get my feet on the jug Perhaps you’re afraid. Perhaps climbers scaled the Matterhorn and Another piece of technical equip- hold. Now I’m really stuck, having you’ve just emerged through the faced hurricane winds on the Auguille ment that could trick the novice ‘I rack up underneath the tree in the made moves I’m too scared to mist, climbing two hundred feet de Midi ridge in Chamonix, whilst into a nasty misunderstanding. Be base of the corner. A few easy pulls reverse, with nothing between me above a winding river, on a piece of others explored the little known Valle careful how you react on the see me sharing its ledge. Initially I and the ground, holding onto some limestone immortalised by the leap of de Mello in the Italian Alps. mountain to a call for a good make upwards progress, bridging up small holds under the bulge to keep in faith of a 17th century Royalist out- CU Mountaineering Club will be screw. the corner on good but worn holds, balance…’ running his persecutors during the holding a meet for freshers in the next until I reach an impasse. The next It’s hard to describe the thrill of Civil War. Either way, you’ll be exhil- few weeks, and weekend trips Wigged moves look tricky - the footholds are climbing unless you’ve had the experi- arated. It’s that feeling that keeps throughout the term to the Peak The feeling of an extreme adrena- there, but the handholds are small. I ence Andy Morris descr1ibes in the Cambridge climbers pushing their District, Wales, Scotland and maybe line rush that follows a tough ascent start to look for gear, but the rock is above quote, taken from his article ‘A limits to scale higher peaks in more even further afield. For more details or long fall. "After the crux, I was smooth, with no obvious cracks. I New Type of Fear’. Only fingertips remote corners of the world year check out our website at wigged." move up hesitantly, then reverse back and tiny footholds keep you from the after year. www.srcf.ucam.org/cumc. Varsity talks to Hare & Hounds’ Claire Day

Claire Day talks about her role as the What are your hopes for Hare & first female captain of the Hare and Hounds this year? Hounds. To win all our Varsity matches and be competitive against the big names at What got you into running? BUSA. We’ve got a great intake of My brother used to go along to the local freshers this year and loads of experi- athletics club’s training sessions, and enced runners too. being an adoring little sister I followed Who’s your sporting idol? him and started going too. 10 years on Paula Radcliffe. The year she set the I’m still running and he hates it! marathon record, she was not only the What’s been your greatest moment quickest British female, but also in the sport so far? quicker than all the British men! When I won Cuppers last winter. Do you think women are well rep- Wandlebury is my favourite course by resented in university sport? miles, I love it there. I think the Women’s Blues Committee Have you ever come close to giving is great and in fact a lot fairer than the it up? male equivalent. Men have been at the I’ve had times when I’ve cut down due uni centuries longer than women and to other commitments, but running’s that’s why it’s their sports that have the perfect sport for just fitting it in the famous history behind them. when you want to and doing as much How do you stay motivated? or as little as you like. The more I run, the more I can eat!

SPORT | 06.10.06 Climbing Interview varsity.co.uk/sport Expedition reports Claire Day [email protected] page 39 page 39

CAPTAIN’S CORNER Ace Blues edge past Oxford in Orienteering thrilling Queen’s Club finale »Close contest in Kensington ends in a win for Cambridge

ALEX COPLEY & ELSPETH INGLEBLY

Orienteering - the thinking per- son’s cross-country. Orienteering involves using a map to navigate around a course as fast as you can, usually in a forest, a park, or on an open hillside. Think of it as a cross-country race, but with nobody telling you where to go, and almost always with much nicer scenery. Getting away from the fens People are usually attracted to the club by either a love of running in beautiful places (and because they’re bored of flat Cambridge), or the desire to test their mental and physical stamina in one of the most easily accessible “adventure sports”. Let Them Eat Cake When it comes to training, a typical week usually consists of one hard session (either interval training or a R J Lange battles it out against Oxford. He won his opening singles game despite facing three set points long, fast run), and one more fun session, often with tea and cakes the light blues reclaimed the Doherty with a heroic singles win from RJ very strong Oxford second pair. In the afterwards! Cambridge 11 Cup from Oxford in what old blues Lange of King’s, in which Lange faced first round of doubles it was only May Oxford 10 described as the most exciting Varsity three match points in the second set, and Zavadov who salvaged another Racing Match in 50 years. After two days the and comprehensive victories from Jon point in a tight three set match against The club is currently in strong Cambridge boys eventually won by Tassell and Ben Cole, the tie was all the Oxford first pair. form, having won the men’s individ- the narrowest possible margin. square at 3-3 after the first round. The following day, the competition ual and men’s and women’s team PADDY MAY With Paddy May of Selwyn and Cambridge soon fell behind again, was again intense. Cambridge found titles at the Varsity match last lent Kirill Zavadov of St Edmund’s losing when Tassell and Lange suffered a themselves 7-4 down, with Oxford term. We built on this with a good The men’s Varsity tennis match was their opening singles matches, shock defeat at the hands of the Oxford needing only four more matches to result at BUSA, coming 6th overall. contested on the lawns of The Queen’s Cambridge spent most of the two days third pair. Meanwhile Murray and retain the Doherty Cup. How to get involved Club in Kensington in late June, where trailing by a rubber or two. However, Blaise Goswami had fallen victim to a CONTINUED ON PAGE 37 Come along to our next get togeth- er and meet the team. Then we’ll have some tea and cake and maybe The a sly glass of wine before running to Week In the hills. Weather FRI SAT SUN MON TUE WED THUR

Re-arrange the letters by rotating the Hitori Sudoku Kakuro discs to create six separate six-letter Shade in the squares so that no number occurs more than once The object is to insert the numbers in the boxes to satisfy only one Fill the grid so that each run of squares adds up to the total in per row or column. Shaded squares may not be horizontally or condition: each row, column and 3x3 box must contain the digits the box above or to the left. Use only numbers 1-9, and never words leading in to the centre. Email vertically adjacent. Unshaded squares must form a single 1 through 9 exactly once. use a number more than once per run (a number may reoccur continuous area. in the same row in a separate run). your answer to: [email protected] 8 7 4 2 9 7 1 5 2 6 4 7 9 9 7 11 S 1 2 4 12 14 E 6 2 4 1 5 1 3 22 O

2 4 5 8 1 7 T 4 9 L T R E 3 4 2 5 7 5 6 COMPETITION G I R

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