Married couples and Civil Partnerships Varsity discusses the other side to Valentine’s Day

The Independent Cambridge Student Newspaper since 1947 | varsity.co.uk | Friday February 9 2007 | Issue 652

»Science Danish cartoon Cambridge contingency plans and the spread printed at Clare of Avian flu PAGE 6 »Anger sparked by College »Arts student publication WMFU, CBS and was surprised to see such crude and Pandora. The VARSITY NEWS REPORTER unabashed prejudice. Freedom of rebirth of the expression does not constitute a free - On Friday 2 February Clareification , dom to offend and this clearly crosses airwaves a weekly publication produced by stu - the boundary of Islamophobia”. A dents at Clare College, printed a second year Clareification reader cropped copy of the cartoon of the said “I can’t believe anyone would be prophet Mohammed, first published so stupid. They are some of the most in the Danish newspaper Jyllands- offensive things I have ever seen.” Posten in September 2005. Clare College yesterday issued a On the back page of the publication, statement. Senior Tutor Patricia Fara PAGE 16 in a satirical “look-alikes of the week” said “Clare is an open and inclusive feature, the cartoon of the Prophet College. A student-produced satirical Mohammed was placed next to a publication has caused widespread photo of the President of the Union of distress throughout the Clare com - Clare Students. The caption below munity. The College finds the publica - »Comment the cartoon of Mohammed bore the tion and the views expressed abhor - President’s name, and vice versa. rent. Reflecting the gravity of the sit - Jamie Munk on why Underneath the captions was a sup - uation, the College immediately we’re being run plementary comment insinuating that began an investigation and discipli - one was a “violent paedophile” and nary procedures are in train.” RAGged the other was “a prophet of God, a Speaking on behalf of the Union of great leader and an example to us all”. Clare Students, President Calum The edition of Clareification , pro - Davey expressed his “deep regret” duced by a guest editor, had been re- for the inclusion of such a provocative titled Crucification and was largely feature in the student publication. devoted to religious satire. The front “This material does not reflect the cover included a stand-first stating views of the Clare Students. We offer “Ayatollah rethinks stance on ‘misun - our sincere apologies for the offence derstood’ Rushdie”. On page six an caused,” he said. The guest editor was PAGE 9 article described the reaction to the unavailable for comment. publication of the original cartoons The cartoons have continued to around the world, likening it to the cause worldwide controversy since reaction to the Pope’s speech at the their 2005 publication, sparking riots ONLINE University of Regensburg in in some Muslim countries and lead - September last year, which has been ing to the death of at least four peo - accused of inciting anti-Islamic reli - ple. The French weekly magazine ➡ Features gious hatred. The piece was accompa - Charlie Hebdo is currently defending nied by a photo of people holding plac - its publication of the cartoon in court. Dating in a digital ards reading “Behead those who insult The editor, Phillippe Var, could face a climate Isla m” and “Freedom to go to hell”. six-month imprisonment and a sub - Clare College has cut its funding of the publication DYLAN SPENCER-DAVIDSON The publication of the cartoon pro - stantial fine. voked anger in Cambridge. The The only other British publications to lege student publications produced in evaded censorship, he said “it was ➡ Theatre Union of Clare Students has been have printed the cartoons are Y Llan , Cambridge. It is distributed within irresponsible of him and it was an receiving letters of complaint the magazine of the Church of Wales Clare College and has a limited print- overnight job… it’s nothing to do Serious drama throughout the week from enraged and Gair Rhydd , the Cardiff University run. During Lent Term, with the publication”. The College students. The Vice-President of the student newspaper. Two hours after Clareification is run by a different has now cut the paper’s funding. in musicals University of Cambridge Islamic Gair Rhydd was printed, all copies were guest editor each week in order to The guest editor was called before Society reacted to the publication’s withdrawn from circulation and the edi - broaden the opportunities for jour - the College authorities on the after - content with indignation. Speaking to tors responsible were suspended. The nalistic experience. A student who noon of Thursday 8 February, where Varsity , he said, “I found the maga - Cardiff paper had printed the cartoon to had previously worked on the publi - the President of the Clare Union of zine hugely offensive. Cambridge has illustrate a serious discussion of the cation said “in this case, this has Students spoke on his behalf. At time a well founded reputation for diversi - impact of the riots in Denmark. worked out for the worse”. When of going to press, the outcome of the ty, tolerance and inclusiveness and I Clareification is one of many col - asked how the cartoon could have meeting remained undisclosed.

Union Ball cancelled p3| Queen at Addenbrookes p5 | Muslim - Jewish Centre p2 Chief News Editors: Alice Whitwham and Lizzie Mitchell Friday February 9 2007 2 NEWS Email: [email protected] varsity.co.uk/news Intellectual property Ltd. In Brief Cambridge NHS »Cambridge Enterprise goes from department to limited company sinking into debt NHS debt in Cambridgeshire is pre - hoped to extend its appeal to mar - dicted to reach £52 million by DATSHIANE NAVANAYAGAM kets in intellectual property from March. Health chiefs have also outside the University. admitted that the county’s Primary Cambridge Enterprise has recently Cambridge University is playing Healthcare Trust’s debt increased achieved ‘Limited’ status. As of 1 a close supervisory role in the by nearly £16 million in one month. December 2006 Cambridge development of the company, previ - Chief executive of the Trust, who Enterprise Ltd., which is wholly affili - ously a Department within the helped Peterborough and Stamford ated to Cambridge University, will University. At present, three Hospitals recover £8 million in 18 “help University of Cambridge inven - University Directors preside on the months, said “It is a debt effectively tors, innovators, and entrepreneurs board of Cambridge Enterprise being borrowed from other health make their ideas more commercially Ltd. The board includes Cavendish systems. In a sense it is important successful for the benefit of society, Professor Sir Richard Friend, that we in Cambridgeshire pay it the UK economy, the inventors and Professor Christopher Abell of back”. Elliot Ross the University.” Christ’s College and Pro-Vice In particular, a substantial pro - Chancellor for Research, Professor portion of the firm’s services deals Ian Leslie. The University’s Network cleared with the protection and licensing of Director of Finance is also acting as intellectual property and its associ - an observer on the board. of girls’ deaths ated intellectual property rights. Officials told Varsity that the This would include new information change in Cambridge Enterprise An inquiry into the death of two and innovative ideas arising from from a University Department to a schoolgirls at Elsenham train sta - any intellectual activities such as Limited Company was “a logical tion in 2005 has cleared Network research projects and academic col - evolution” resulting from the Cambridge Enterprise has become a business DYLAN SPENCER-DAVIDSON Rail of any wrongdoing but high - laborations. Cambridge Enterprise growth in its services and was need - lighted serious concerns over safety has said that it will not be mandato - ed for the purpose of “additional of entrepreneurship” nor affect its enue shares are distributed to aca - at railway stations. On their way to ry for University academics to work quality of service and focus on the demics and their departments. In Cambridge, Charlotte Thompson with them, although they will be commercialisation of technology the last fiscal year 2005/2006 the and Olivia Bazlinton were killed obliged to disclose any patentable “the primary arising from academics and their firm generated £6.26 million when they were struck by an inventions made during the course departments. Pro Vice-Chancellor through consultancy contracts and oncoming train while crossing the of their work at the University, giv - aim remains to Professor Ian Leslie is known to license income of which an excess of tracks. There was no footbridge to ing the company the possibility to have said that despite recent incor - £5.2 million was distributed to aca - the opposite platform. The inquiry review such cases. aid application of porations to Cambridge Enterprise demics and University departments did not blame Network Rail, finding There are also intentions to pro - “the primary aim remains to aid in guidance with the distribution the deaths an accident. Network vide assistance for those academics knowledge to application of knowledge to benefit policies of the University. Four Rail plan to build a footbridge by the who wish to set up new companies society, academics and the institu - spin-out companies, Cambridge end of the year. Hannah Thompson for technological advancement. benefit society, tion”. Chief Executive of the com - Innovision, E-stack, OrthoMimetics Such endeavours will be facilitated academics and pany Teri Willey has also empha - and Psynova were launched by through the additional services of sised that the “new structure” of Cambridge Enterprise in partner - Student apathy start-up clinics, individual mentor - the company will help facilitate the ship with other entrepreneurial ing, and the provision of seed capi - the institution” recognised need “to increase effi - researchers. The company was also Students across the country who tal and access to investors. ciency and adapt speedily to new responsible for fifty-eight new have not registered to vote are Networking and showcasing events requirements”. patent applications and concluded being encouraged to do so in order put on by the company will provide The total affiliation of Cambridge over eighty consultancy agree - to avoid losing their vote in local new companies with further links to transparency” in business opera - Enterprise to Cambridge ments indicating that academics’ elections in May. The Electoral industry. In addition the metamor - tions. But they were keen to stress University has meant that at pres - technical expertise is still greatly Commission has warned students to phosis of the department to that its new ‘Limited’ status would ent the University receives all prof - required within the technological register before May 3. About 20 Cambridge Enterprise Limited is “not impact on teaching or lectures its generated by the firm after rev - commercial market. per cent of students are currently missing from the electoral roll. The NUS National Secretary, Stephen Brown, said, “Students have histor - ically been powerful agents for First Muslim-Jewish change and I’d urge anyone who hasn’t yet registered to do so this dialogue Centre opens week”. Nikki Burton

Christian Relations, in 1998. The Top up fees save TOM WOOLFORD CJCR is established as the leading European academic institute in the you money A new Centre for the Study of study of Judaeo-Christian relations, Muslim-Jewish Relations (CMJR) has and has seen over a thousand under - The price tag of a university educa - opened in Cambridge. graduates take part in its programmes tion has fallen after the introduction The Centre, the first of its kind in since its foundation. Dr Kessler is opti - of top-up fees, a study has shown. the world, was opened last Thursday mistic about the prospects for the Research found that with govern - by Chief Rabbi Sir Jonathan Sacks. Its CMJR. “There has been a great deal of ment grants, bursaries and long- aims, explains co-founder Dr Edward interest from both faith communities repayments the cost of attending Kessler, are to “pursue teaching, dia - and beyond”, he explained. Dr Richard university has dropped. The study logue and research into the encounter Stone, Chair of the Commission on also showed that graduates can between Muslims and Jews”. Dr Islamophobia, welcomed the Centre expect to earn about £160,000 more Kessler says that “the Jewish-Muslim on Tuesday, expressing a hope that it in a working lifetime than their encounter demonstrates much misun - will further understanding between peers who do not attend university. derstanding, bordering on despair”. Jews and Muslims. Rebecca Lester The Centre's curriculum will include The founders deny that the Centre an examination of anti-Semitism and has been set up in response to vio - Islamophobia, phenomena both cur - lence and political crises in the Middle Archers’ bronzes ren tly hitting the national and East. It has, however, been wel - international news. Sacks described comed by a number of Arab countries Cambridge resident Lord Jeffrey “a tsunami of anti-Semitism” across and comes after a Jewish-Muslim con - Archer has fallen victim to art Europe in the light of a report on ference held at Westminster Abbey thieves at his Grantchester home. the first day of this month showing last year at which several of the most On Tuesday evening a clutch of that anti-Semitic attacks in Britain high-profile Middle Eastern bronze sculptures by the artist have reached record levels. A embassies were represented. Christopher Marvell were removed report published in December by The Co-Convenor of the from the Archers’ front garden. the European Monitoring Centre on Cambridge University Faiths CCTV footage showed two men Racism and Xenophobia charted the Forum, Preet Majithia, suggests that backing a white van up to a wire rise of Islamophobia across Europe, the challenge is to “spread the mes - fence before making off with the citing hundreds of cases of violence sage of respect and understanding valuable bronzes. Lady Archer against Muslims. beyond those who are interested and described the statues as “works of Faculty of Divinity lecturer Dr attend such events to a much broader art of considerable real value, and Kessler set up the sister organization, cross-section of society, where igno - sentimental value”. the Centre for the Study of Jewish rance and prejudice still prevails”. Tom Parry Jones Friday February 9 2007 Got a news story? varsity.co.uk/news 01223 353 422 NEWS 3 Union Spring Ball cancelled »Trustees cancel Union Spring Ball after low ticket sales and infighting

“very tragic” aspect of the week’s ELLIOT ROSS events, while another senior official News Editor described the issue as “a petty attempt to divert responsibility”. Members of the Cambridge Union The ball came under threat as a learnt late on Wednesday 7 February result of extremely low ticket sales. that the Union Spring Ball, scheduled Less than two per cent of members for Sunday, has been cancelled. The purchased tickets and just 20 tickets announcement came after a week of were sold in the final week of sales. wrangling over whether to go ahead Despite these figures, Anubi praised with an event plagued by poor ticket the Ball Committee’s hard work, say - sales. It was decided on Tuesday ing they “had done the best we could morning that to hold the Ball at a loss have”, explaining that “we didn’t would not be “appropriate”. want to bombard people”. She insist - Varsity has learnt that had the Ball ed “we did sell enough tickets to go gone ahead as originally planned, the ahead as planned”. Union would have incurred an £8000 A senior official was more critical of loss. A standing committee meeting the committee’s efforts. “The Ball on Monday approved a revised budg - Committee didn’t really make much et that would have scaled down the of a ‘second wave’ campaign to sell event and reduced losses to £2,000. many tickets and didn’t seem to take Secretary and Vice President the financial shortcomings too seri - Nicholas Hartman said he and other ously when asked what they planned senior members “felt that it was to do about it. That’s just unaccept - wholly inappropriate to use the able. Everything was always ‘just Society’s funds as a registered chari - fine.’ It was a bit like that scene from ty to pay for the financial shortcom - Titanic where the band keeps playing ings of the ball due to a significant on the deck even though the ship is lack in ticket sales”. Some members obviously sinking.” of the standing committee then con - The anonymous source went on to sulted the Society’s Board of criticise the wording of the letter to Trustees, who advised unanimously ticket holders which cited “circum - against the ball on principle, despite there being no legal conflict with the Union’s charitable status. “It was a bit like Entertainment Officer and Union Ball ticket holders have been offered the chance to attend the Churchill Ball instead EMILY WRIGHT President of the Ball Committee Oyin that scene from Anubi said she was “very annoyed” insult to those that bought tickets and “really upset” at the decision. She Titanic where and the membership as a whole”. expressed her regret that the ball Anubi said that “members of the The Union: moving forwards? “was met with so much opposition” the band keeps standing committee did all they and that certain standing committee could” to prevent the Ball proceed - members had “gone over our heads” playing on the ing. Ex Union President Luke April 2003 ship, big-name speakers and elec - to present “a biased and unfair case” deck even Pearce suggested that Anubi has Jean-Marie Le Pen’s invitation pro - toral candidates and that it spends to Trustees. Although frustrated by been “victimised”, while President vokes mass protests. The French more on its bar and library. Four the board’s position, she felt the can - though the ship Jacobson insisted that “no-one went Front National leader has described separate ex-Cambridge Union cellation was necessary to avoid “cre - behind anyone’s back or did any - the Holocaust as “a mere detail” of Presidents tell Varsity the Union ating division in the Union”. is obviously thing wrong”. history and claims “races are not “seriously needs to learn how to run Nevertheless, she maintained that “it St John’s student Vishnu equal”. Edward Cumming, the itself as a business”. could have gone ahead and it could sinking” Parameshwaran, who had planned to Union President who invited him, have been a great success”. attend the ball, told Varsity “I didn’t wanted him to debate the motion November 2006 Anubi claims that cancellation costs really want to go anyway. Somebody “This house would gag the bad”. An anonymous email sent to have actually outweighed the deficit guilt-tripped me into going. I’m obvi - Cumming received two death Cambridge media outlets details which would have been expected if stances beyond our control” for the ously very disappointed.” The threats. alleged criminal activities, misuse of the ball had gone ahead under the cancellation. They said “the state - Committee offered Union Ball ticket presidential power and significant revised budget. While she would not ment released by the Ball holders the chance to attend today’s November 2005 internal conflicts within the Union. give precise figures, she said that the Committee which almost seems to Churchill Spring Ball as an alterna - Varsity investigation ‘The President Luke Pearce and fees paid for the late cancellation had place blame on others for ‘stopping’ tive event. Asked what he thought of Changing Face of the Union’ finds Secretary Nick Hartman assure been “significantly” higher than the the ball is utter rubbish”. They this, Parameshwaran said “that’s just the Oxford Union is better at Varsity that “the Union is moving in projected loss. Union President described “any attempt to cover up” fucking cheeky, man. I wouldn’t go if attracting sponsorship, member- the right direction”. Michael Jacobson described this as a disappointing ticket sales as “an my life depended on it.” Fifth time lucky for TCSU president

600 undergraduates attended a see. In the second year his nomina - named Andy Davies from ever that one, you HENRY DONATI meeting to vote on the reaffiliation. tion form was ripped up and he was entering the college. are better than The twentieth vote, without which discounted from standing by the The outgoing president Gavin the other candi - “If at first you don’t succeed, give no move could have been passed, then President in a display of Johnstone “was satisfied with the dates and two, the up. You tried your best and you was cast by the Varsity reporter remarkable insight. Third year he general conduct and fairness of the other candidates failed miserably; the lesson is: sent to report on the event. So per - was apparently “drunk”, and after election” but considered it “inappro - are worse than never try”, are the wise words of haps it should come as no surprise again meeting with defeat in the priate” to comment further. No burnt you”. This is Homer Simpson. Unfortunately that one of England’s great institu - fourth year he decided to disaffili - skittles for him then. Facebook pro - surely the sort of Tom Coker, standing for the tions, founded by Henry VIII, home ate from the TCSU. Repeated fail - vides some rather more colourful political pre - Presidency of the Trinity College to 31 noble prize winners and count - ure did not deter him from trying a reactions. “Is that a joke? Coker, are science of which Student Union for the fifth year in a less great statesmen, authors and fifth time, and succeeding. you really TCSU president?” says a Churchill row, didn’t listen to them. And this philosophers, has a president whose So how did this Natsci manage to member of the campaign group. One would have year he finally succeeded. manifesto photo featured him in a become Student President of an unnamed source was rather less ret - been proud. The victory is celebrated by the PVC dress. In the opening line of institution with endowments of sev - icent. “I hear Coker is president? Calls to Facebook group “Fifth Time his handwritten policy statement he eral hundred million pounds? “This How on earth did this atrocity hap - reopen nomi - Lucky” with the question “Is this misspelt ‘you’. year there weren’t any serious candi - pen?...I have more respect for the nations have the greatest story in the history of Standing for election in his first dates”, he explained candidly. tramp that you knocked out with an been rejected, the TCSU Elections?” year at Trinity, his ambitious pledge “Having been in college for four orange than him”, he said. so be warned. Last week Varsity reported on to improve life in the college was years I have more experience and But Coker seems to have a keen This is what hap - the response of Trinity students to “to show people what happened wisdom.” His manifesto demanded regard for political success. He com - pens in a democra - TCSU’s decision to reaffiliate to when skittles are microwaved”. He freezing college bar prices for 5 mented that the key to his presiden - cy when you don’t CUSU. 20 out of a student body of brought a plate of them for all to years, and banning an individual tial campaign was “to demonstrate vote. Got a news story? Friday February 9 2007 4 NEWS Email: [email protected] varsity.co.uk/news Boys shun summer school »Boys too embarrassed to apply for Cambridge courses

boys. No solution has been offered to mentors”. Lesley Gannon, TOM MORIARTY address this stark imbalance. Cambridge University’s Head of The summer schools are for 6th Widening Participation was posi - Boys are missing out on free places Form students and form part of the tive about the impact the summer at summer schools in Cambridge University’s programme aimed at schools can have on students. “A because they are too embarrassed encouraging achievement and aspi - large proportion of students that to apply. ration among young students, many attend Sutton Trust Summer The Sutton Trust, an organisation of whom are from homes where nei - Schools go on to apply to set up to raise the academic poten - Cambridge or other Russell Group tial of students from under-privi - Universities and many go on to gain leged backgrounds, raised the issue “last year, only places. Some even come back as vol - of gender imbalance after the pro - unteers on the scheme”. portion of boys attending the resi - 200 of 900 Overall, one third of students go dential courses fell below 30 per on to achieve a place at the univer - cent last year. attending cours - sity at which they took a summer Sir Peter Lampl, Chairman of the course. Of the 64 students who Trust, said “This is serious as we are es at Cambridge attended the first ever summer concerned that boys from non-privi - schools, 14 gained a place at Oxford leged homes are not getting the were boys” University the next year. Former opportunities they need to go on to a participant David Eves went on to top university”. He added that the study Engineering at Cambridge. lack of interest may be due to the He said, “As far as I knew, nobody fact that “boys are too shy to apply”. ther parent attended university. from my school had ever gone to Climate change: primarily a man-made problem The scheme was first introduced in Schools and College Liaison Officer Cambridge and I thought it was Cambridge in 1998 and courses are Xina Moss said, “the University of just for people from Eton. Meeting currently run at Robinson and Cambridge wants to admit people Cambridge students completely Sydney Sussex. Last year, only 200 on academic merit alone and realise changed my mind about it. I Global warming “man- of a total of 900 attending courses at that people are put off from apply - realised that they're normal people, Cambridge were boys. National fig - ing because of misconceptions about like everyone else, and that I did fit ures for the summer schools, which the University”. in here”. made” says professor also run at Oxford, Bristol, Those who receive places on the Most colleges have their own out - Nottingham and St Andrews, reveal week-long courses attend lectures, reach schemes targeting students which will manifest itself should fossil a similar pattern. Last year the meet tutors and “take part in the from disadvantaged backgrounds, EMMA INKESTER fuels continue to be burnt at the pres - courses received 3,349 applications, usual social activities with the help many of which operate during the ent rate. The IPCC has also reiterat - but of these less than 1000 were from from current students acting as summer vacation. Professor Nigel Weiss, Emeritus ed the need for a global reduction. Professor in Mathematical The USA has addressed a memoran - Astrophysics at Cambridge, has dum, endorsed by President Bush, to affirmed the announcement by scien - the panel. It advocates “modifying tists that global warming is primarily solar radiance” as a more viable solu - a man-made problem. tion than a decrease in consumption. Weiss echoes the findings of the A number of nuclear weapons sci - Intergovernmental Panel on Climate entists at the Lawrence Livermore Change (IPCC), published in Paris on Laboratory in California have put 1 February. The panel stressed that forward the proposal of launching a humans are the most likely cause of million tonnes of tiny aluminium balls filled with hydrogen into the atmosphere each year, to act as a “universal effort barrier against global warming. Sea Graduation Yearbook water and sulphate particles have to reduce also been suggested as possible materials, but critics have argued emissions is that all of these methods are expen - sive, dangerous and do nothing to necessary” reduce the concentration of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Weiss affirms that the current sit - uation is of grave concern. Scientists global warming, emphasising that a also acknowledge that increased lev - concerted and universal effort to els of carbon dioxide threaten to Varsity are looking for editors, reduce emissions is necessary to acidify oceans, causing severe conse - lessen the risks. quences for the food chain. This photographers and designers to help There has been recent support for counters those who deny the exis - suggestions that solar activity is a tence of global warming. produce this year’s Graduation more significant cause than human This view has been promoted by consumption, and that a fall in solar Channel 4 director Martin Durkin. activity would lead to a cooling that In The Great Global Warming Yearbook. would negate the effect of greenhouse Swindle , an upcoming documentary gases. Weiss has rejected this stance. to be broadcast on Channel 4, man- If you want to be part of the team, “Although solar activity has an made climate change is called “a lie effect on the climate, these changes ... the biggest scam of modern email: are small compared to those associat - times”. He continued, “The truth is ed with global warming,” he said. that global warming is a multibillion- [email protected] “Any global cooling associated with a dollar worldwide industry: created fall in solar activity would not signifi - by fanatically anti-industrial envi - cantly affect the global warming ronmentalists; supported by scien - caused by greenhouse gases.” tists peddling scare stories to chase Solar activity occurs in stars such funding; and propped up by complic - as our own sun, where sunspots are it politicians and the media ... The the site of strong magnetic fields. The fact is that CO2 has no proven link to number of spots appearing varies global temperatures ... solar activity cyclically with a period of approxi - is far more likely to be the culprit.” mately 11 years, with a boom cur - Educated at Clare College, Weiss rently taking place which scientists discovered the process of ‘flux predict will be followed by a slump. expulsion’ by which a conducting Satellite measurements have shown fluid undergoing rotation acts to that solar irradiance decreases by 0.1 expel the magnetic flux from the per cent from sunspot maximum to region of motion, and which is now sunspot minimum, causing a reduc - readily accepted as a frequent tion of about 0.1 degrees Celsius in occurrence in the sun and other average global temperature. stars. He was President of the Weiss insists that this rate of Royal Astronomical Society change is small compared to that between 2000 and 2002. Friday February 9 2007 Got a news story? varsity.co.uk/news Call us now on 01223 353 422 NEWS 5 Royal visit to Cambridge »Regal opening for £500 million Cancer Research Institute bouquet of tulips. “To try and attract KATHARINE FAULKNER her attention, we decided to give her flowers”, explained Emily. “We asked Last Friday the Queen visited her if she had had a nice day and she Hotel Chocolat Cambridge to open a £500 million said it had been very interesting.” Cancer Research Institute at More than 300 scientists, led by Hideous Kinky Addenbrooke’s Hospital. Professor Bruce Ponder, will be based A frisky theologian was spotted malin - The Institute has been funded by at the centre. Ponder spoke of the gering dolefully outside Hotel Sir Ka-shing Li, named by Forbes “exciting opportunity” the Centre will Chocolat when his blind date failed to Magazine in 2006 as the tenth richest afford researchers to “harness the sci - show up. Enraged, he furiously person in the world, and the richest entific strengths of Cambridge to solve ‘Facebooked’ her and was less than person in Asia. the practical problems of diagnosis, impressed at what he was missing. His Accompanied by the Duke of treatment and prevention of cancer.” bitter text message read “Hey sexy, Edinburgh, who is Chancellor of the On her tour of the Centre the Queen thankyou very much. I now have the University, the Queen was welcomed conversed with cancer patients includ - privilege of telling my friends I’ve to the new Li Ka Shing Centre by the ing Leah Wilby, aged 11, who has been been stood up by the most hideous girl Mayor and other local dignitaries, and undergoing treatment for cancer of in Cambridge”. His bewildered date greeted by rounds of applause from the nervous system since 2004. Leah’s apologised and explained that she had over 300 schoolchildren. mother, Debbie, told press that, “The only received his RAG form the fol - Ifthi, a student at Queen Edith’s hospital has been brilliant to Leah. lowing morning. She proposed a School in Cambridge, told Varsity he This new Cancer Research Centre is replacement liaison at the ADC “if you was so excited about seeing the Queen an excellent step forward, and there is still want a date with the most hideous at the opening that he “woke up at five now a lot of hope for the future.” The girl in Cambridge”. He declined. Queen also spoke to 62 year old Ricky Wilkinson, who recovered from “I’ve seen the prostate cancer after pioneering robotic surgery techniques were used Newnham Queen on TV in his treatment. Alex Markham, Chief Executive Ungodly Acts once but I think of Cancer Research UK, said of the The Cambridge Inter-Collegiate new institute, “Our aim is to create Christian Union rarely finds its way that was some - an exciting environment of interdis - into this column. But the controver - ciplinary collaboration so that sial campaign of knocking on stu - one playing her” TOM PARRY-JONES researchers in many different fields dents’ doors and handing Mark’s will be able to work together with gospel to them in person has yielded the single aim of beating cancer”. some surprising responses. One wide- He added that this approach would eyed foot-soldier inclined his inquir - this morning”. He said that the Queen mean that new cures will “enter ing head around a door and was “didn’t look like what I expected, clinical trials more quickly”. The astonished to find two stray flock- because I’ve seen the Queen of research will cover the genetics of members energetically flouting all England on TV once, but I think that breast cancer, stem cells, imaging kinds of Papal edicts and at least two was just someone who was playing and experimental medicine. of the ten commandments. her.” Another pupil, Amy, thought Professor Alison Richard, Vice- that the Queen “looked nice”, subse - Chancellor of the University of quently telling Varsity that “I’m so Cambridge, said the royal visit “illus - excited I’m going to faint”. trates the importance that the UK Magdalene The Queen was unable to talk with attaches to this crucial work, and is the children who greeted her, to the testament to the strength of this dismay of 11 year old Alexandra, who joint enterprise between the charity said, “I was a bit disappointed as I and the university”. Sir Ka-Shing Li wanted to talk to her”. Two students described Cambridge University as from Long Road Sixth Form College, “one of the world’s beacons of learn - Adam Bloodworth and Emily ing”, adding that, “The research con - Thompson, both 17, later spoke to the ducted at the institute will prove to Queen when they turned up at the cer - be invaluable and offer major med - emony during a free period with a ical advancements to the world”. Queen and Duke of Edinburgh arrive in Cambridge MICHAEL DERRINGER Buying an education on a Tesco Clubcard

cants that the points are non-trans - to offer customers the opportunity This is the first time a Higher NIKKI BURTON ferable and will be issued with the to put Tesco vouchers towards high - Education Institution has used the name shown on the Clubcard vouch - er education. The programme pro - loyalty card scheme to attract appli - In a twist in the tail of the unending ers. Other rewards displayed along - vides a great opening for customers cants. The OU said that they offer student funding debates, Tesco side the educational option include to achieve some valu - several projects intended to help shoppers will soon be able to buy an Blockbuster rental tokens, airport able qualifications by students meet the cost of studying, What the Duck? education with £100,000 worth of parking vouchers, and magazine studying at home at including student budget accounts Sleepy-eyed students at Magdalene groceries. subscriptions. Tesco their own pace with - to allow for the monthly payment of College were thrilled on Thursday A new initiative set to commence Commercial Director out having to give course fees, and means-tested finan - morning to awake to find a thick cov - on 16 February will allow Tesco Richard Brasher up the day job.” cial help. Gourley added, “We aim to erage of snow on college grounds. Clubcard holders to use loyalty commented OU Vice- make access to the University’s pro - Their high spirits were sent stratos - points to finance an Open that “Clubcard Chancellor grammes as flexible as possible. pheric, however, by the mysterious University (OU) degree, exchang - deals already Brenda This extends to giving our students appearance of a 7ft long snow-duck ing vouchers for four times their help thousands Gourley high - a number of options to meet course idling nonchalantly on the immacu - face value in OU course fees. Under of people achieve lighted the fees – and this new deal is now one lately kempt lawns by the Cam. the Tesco Clubcard points system things they might new scheme as of those options”. Resident wildfowl were evidently dis - shoppers can pay for their higher otherwise find “an exciting and inno - Alongside undergraduate degree tressed by the oversized interloper education in part or in full using the hard to afford and vative partnership that is courses, OU also offers other cours - and were seen muttering amongst Tesco points, making a typical now gaining higher true to the University’s founding es starting from £99. Topics cov - themselves. The magnificent mallard £4,000 OU degree equivalent to education qualifica - mission – to be open to people, ered include “life in the oceans”, met an ignominious demise as its cran - 100,000 points. tions is added to that places, methods and ideas. The “writing family history”, and ing neck finally bowed to the after - Tesco Clubcard points can be used list”. partnership allows the University “understanding children”. Over noon thaw, leaving the bird “brain - alongside any other funding the stu - The head of partnerships at Tesco to extend our reach to new students, 200,000 people study with the OU less”. The poultry-inspired sculpture dent may be entitled to, although as Freetime, Nick McCormack, told who have the opportunity to gain each year, accounting for 35 percent made a welcome change from the with any other Clubcard commodity press that “We’re delighted to be access to our courses without incur - of all part-time undergraduate stu - rather tired looking snowy phalloi the OU are keen to remind appli - working with the Open University ring any debt.” dents in the UK. which inevitably sprung up. Science editors: James Shepherd and Michaela Freeland Friday February 9 2007 6 SCIENCE ANALYSIS Email: [email protected] varsity.co.uk/news Are we prepared

»Michaela Freeland discusses the role of Cambridge scientists in tackling the threat posed by Avian flu

The word “flu” is used in many differ - combat the threat in two ways. While must work instead with non-infectious ent contexts, from the predictable the Veterinary School and Zoology components. Fresher’s bout to the epidemic of the Department monitors animal health Thus, rather than find ways to make 1918 Spanish flu. But after the hospi - and possible outbreaks, the it less infectious or harmful, 0 talisation of a Suffolk cull vet with sus - Department of Pathology conducts researchers are studying the mecha - cases of human pected bird flu on 6 February, a new bio-chemical investigation at nisms by which the virus replicates. kind of flu has been forced once more Addenbrooke’s. In the Department of No virus can replicate on its own; it to human on the public attention. Applied Maths & Theoretical Physics, does so only inside the cells of the host Though the current threat is posed the spread of infectious diseases is organism. Understanding the mecha - infection at by “bird flu” in particular, the virus modelled mathematically. Cambridge nisms by which the virus manipulates from which it derives is the same. Dr Infectious Disease Consortium the host to achieve this could lead to present Paul Digard of the Department of (CIDC), which oversees these differ - methods of disrupting this process. Pathology argues that “all flu is avian ent lines of enquiry, also includes an Further, to replicate its genetic mate - at source, it’s just that some strains Education and Training Unit, training rial the influenza virus requires partic - have adapted better to growing well in ular biological molecules that are not certain species”. Therefore, the study present in uninfected cells. Preventing of the mechanisms of the virus and its “The great fear their formation could halt the infection transmission in any species provides without damaging healthy cells. In invaluable knowledge to aid the pre - is that the any population, some individuals have vention of bird flu. Cambridge aca - natural immunity to infection. For demics are researching into a wide genetic material eample, at the Vet School, researchers 50 range of cases. Dr Debra Elton at are studying those animals with genes Animal Trust runs a monitoring pro - of the virus that possess an “innate” resistance to countries with gramme for equine influenza, and her influenza, so that vaccines would no confirmed cases group also keeps a close eye on could mutate” longer be necessary. Cambridge’s pigs, dogs and chickens. Such novel methods are important of H5N1 But while most strains of avian and since current vaccinations to prevent other animal flu are benign and com - influenza remain ineffective. Like the monly found on farms throughout veterinary students to deal with other aspects of the influenza genome, Britain, the H5N1 strain responsible potential pandemics in the future. the surface proteins of the virus to for the outbreak in Suffolk is distinc - Cambridge is further involved in which antigens bind before destroying tive for its capacity to bridge the nationwide and international research. the infected cell are constantly mutat - species barrier and infect humans. The Department of Zoology, which ing. This is why a new flu jab is need - Fears have been voiced that the monitors outbreaks of influenza, plays ed each winter. Inherent genetic 160,000 genetic material of the virus could pos - a significant role in choosing the anti - resistance may be an answer. sibly mutate within other mammalian gen composition of the World Health While the risk of an avian flu pan - carriers such as cats. If so, it would Organisation’s annual influenza vac - demic in Britain is minimal, the scien - birds culled this have the potential to be transmitted cine. tific study into combating the threat is week within from one human to another as opposed The sharing of information and essential. The better the understand - to through direct contact with infected resources across institutions is impor - ing of biochemical action of the virus Bernard birds. This development would tant given that none of the laborato - and the patterns in which it spreads, increase the chance of a sweeping epi - ries in Cambridge meets the neces - the more readily prevention measures Matthews Ltd, UK demic. sary requirements for biological con - can be transferred onto other forms of Influenza research at tainment facilities (“Biosafety Level influenza and animal-borne disease. Cambridge 3” or above). As a Historically, epidemics have con - seeks to result, tributed to scientific development. University The last time the University was researchers quarantined as a result of plague, cannot study Trinity mathematician Isaac Newton »Catherine Bosley highly pathogenic went home and returned with the the - strains of the virus, and ory of gravity. The University of Cambridge is 806 drawing up plans to deal with a square mile future avian flu pandemic in the city Bird Flu: The facts following an outbreak the highly restriction zone pathogenic H5N1 strain of avian flu • The outbreak of H5N1 avian flu began in Asia • The H5N1 virus is not a new strain of bird flu: on a turkey farm in Suffolk. around the Government Departments have in 2003. it caused an outbreak in Scotland in 1959. Bernard been frantically working over the • Cases of this strain of bird flu have since been • The main route of human infection is through past week to control the outbreak. confirmed in around 50 countries worldwide. direct contact with infected wild birds and Matthews Farm, The Department for Environment, poultry, or surfaces contaminated by their Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA) • The virus has killed 166 people since 2003, faeces. Suffolk has undertaken the gassing of more according to the World Health Organisation. than 150,000 poultry and set up a Many of its victims have been children and • Symptoms in humans have varied from typi - zone of restricted access that reach - young adults. cal flu symptoms (fever, sore throat, cough, es 60 km of Cambridge. The NHS aches and pains) to eye inflammations, respi - • There have been no known cases of human has stocked 14.6 million doses of ratory problems, and pneumonia. Tamiflu, the drug used to treat flu infection in the UK to date. cases. The Home Office along with several other agencies conducted a

  drill code-named “Winter Willow” to  prepare for a possible large-scale flu  $BTFT  outbreak.  %FBUIT Dr Mark Wormald, Senior Tutor

S 166  C at Pembroke College and chair of I human deaths

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 S  I the Advisory Group on

  T     A  T caused by H5N1 Communicable Diseases explained           S “There is a pandemic plan for the  O J U H O JB B U JB R JB E Z N virus worldwide Q F University, and we are in the B O B O W K E J V Z T S S L B J P P F * F B : B I H H JM S O C C & O J U E process of conducting exercises C $ KJ P B V F S N / I 5 J C F % E B O 5 7 R [ $ * across departments to test " U O resilience.” He added “The S Pandemic Planning Working Party Friday February 9 2007 Could you write Science? varsity.co.uk/news 01223 353422 SCIENCE ANALYSIS 7

James Shepherd on simple scientific for Avian flu? short-comings

There is plenty of work going on into the science behind bird flu, but some basic measures are being neglected. British monitoring of Avian flu in wild birds failed to pick up the current farmyard outbreak, which is thought to have originated in wild ducks. This could be partly due to inadequate survey techniques used by govern - ment monitoring agencies. The meth - ods were initially criticised in April 2006, when an H5N1-infected swan was found on the Scottish coast. The sampling conducted last year was called into question because very little flu was found in any of the birds tested. The fact that H5N1 was not identified may seem like a good result, but it is alarming that more common, and less dangerous, strains that we would expect to find were not present in the sample. This suggests that the samples did not accurately represent the prevalence of flu in the British bird population. Eventually, this anomalous result was attributed to improper preser - vation of the specimens, resulting in the viruses decaying beyond a detectable state. In effect this meant the sampling method could not accu - rately identify whether or not H5N1 was actually present in the samples. It has also been highlighted that sur - veillance may have targeted the wrong bird species. In spite of these problems, the method remains unchanged to the present day. It is especially disappointing when “could not identify whether H5N1 was present”

the UK’s possible errors are con - trasted with recent reports of suc - cessful and high-quality surveillance in less economically developed coun - outlines the measures taken to prepare Cambridge for an Avain flu epidemic tries with fewer scientific resources. Setbacks such as these could com - promise our attempts to assess the and the Pandemic Emergency details to Varsity. In the event of explained that he is currently in tingency planning for a flu pandem - actual level of risk. Planning sub-group have been meet - an outbreak, “The response… the process of “tweaking” the city’s ic “very seriously”. Successful Luckily there is increasing ing regularly and have drawn up would be one of containment and emergency response plan, to “plug planning required a response to research into improving the tests we guidelines for both the University as isolation with appropriate medical any gaps” left from the drawing public concerns and “not giving use. Flu is currently a popular and a whole and the colleges”. support from trained and appropri - board stage. One particular chal - people a cold shoulder”, he con - well-funded area of study. At present, humans can only be ately equipped staff. Provision for lenge he believes the City would tended. Furthermore, as demonstrated by infected with the avian flu virus this is in place.” face in the event of a pandemic out - At Addenbrooke’s hospital, the Cambridge research groups, sci - through direct contact with infect - In contrast, Harvard University break would be allocating manpow - spokeswoman Heather Munro told entists worldwide are cooperating in ed birds. Since 2003, 166 individu - has, in the past five years, under - Varsity that if the flu were to an “unprecedented way” when it als worldwide have died from the taken emergency response planning emerge, response measures “would comes to sharing data concerning virus but transmission between including a new intranet for infor - “The response... include ensuring that beds were bird flu. humans is not possible. But should mation sharing and fitting “front- available for those who really need - This dual approach is very impor - the virus mutate, enabling it to line” staff with facemasks. Harvard would be one of ed admission to hospital, [and] deal - tant because we are unsure when, or spread from person to person, a has also conducted sessions in ing with how we would run services if, the H5N1 virus will mutate to give pandemic could ensue. The Centre responding to a public health emer - containment and in the event of increased staff rise to the bird flu pandemic we fear. for Disease Control, a US public gency for school staff and faculty absences”. Addenbrooke’s referred In addition, it should be noted that health agency, warns that because members. One of the drills simulat - isolation with Varsity ’s questions regarding the H5N1 is not the only strain causing students often live in close quar - ed the case of a student who had availability of Tamiflu to Cambridge concern, with H2, H7 and H9 also ters in halls of residence, they fallen sick after a trip to southern appropriate students to the Health Protection being plausible possibilities that need could be particularly at risk. Africa. Drill-participants were Agency. The HPA, however, was to be monitored. The measure taken by the linked via computer and given 15 medical unavailable to provide further With this in mind, we are in the Univeristy include drawing up minute deadlines to respond to support” details because its team members fortunate position of being able to “avian influenza and pandemic flu unexpected developments, such as were busy dealing with the Suffolk come at bird flu from both sides; guidelines”, details of which can be the unannounced appearance of tel - flu outbreak. from understanding the microscop - found on the university website. evision crews on campus and discus - Varsity also inquired with the ic virus itself in addition to large- They are also working closely with sion of the student’s condition via er. City employees would be pulled Cambridgeshire County Council scale tracking and modelling of its the NHS and local GPs, and internet chat groups. from their usual jobs to assist with about what contingency plans had progress in the ‘real world’. We appointing a Pandemic Flu Liaison Paul Parry, in charge of emer - the effort, but at the same time it been drawn up and what sort of have the ability to do both, as long Nurse. Moreover, according to Dr gency planning for the evacuation would need to be ensured that efforts were currently underway at as we take heed and stop ignoring Wormald, “the University has plan in Cambridge City Centre, has basic services, such as trash collec - the regional level. In response, the the fact that resources are wasted adopted quarantine guidelines”, recently been participating in the tion, were functioning. Parry said county council press office declined on failing methods. although he did not disclose any Winter Willow exercise. Parry he and his team were taking con - to comment. Comment editor: Tor Krever Friday February 9 2007 8 COMMENT Email: [email protected] varsity.co.uk/comment Political climate change

stasis position must realise is that just as everyone has an impact on the cli - mate change problem, so too can everyone play a part in its mitigation. Attentive Idler followers amongst It may be impossible to fully reverse you will have noticed, in recent the phenomenon but we can do our weeks, that the tone of these utmost to prevent things getting columns has not been one of relaxed, TESS RILEY worse. In his most recent book, Heat , gentlemanly cogitation, but rather of George Monbiot offers a ten-point plan fierce, social and cultural polemic to reduce our carbon emissions by (with a few dirty words thrown in to ver the past week, cli - ninety per cent by 2030 – the target get people really fired up). I'd like to mate change has again required so as not to go into negative make clear, at this point, that I taken centre stage, and feedback. This situation, where the would never actually take the time for good reason. Last earth itself starts producing rather do anything about the issues that Friday, the than absorbing carbon, is a position we bother me. No, you'll never catch me Intergovernmental never want to reach. in the winter drizzle handing out fly - OPanel on Climate Change (IPCC) Last term, Cambridge Plane Stupid ers, shouting things into a mega - issued a report stating it is now more (www.planestupid.com), organised a phone or (as some conscientious stu - than 90 per cent certain that climate harmless protest outside a Sidney dents decided to do last week) change is a direct result of burning Street travel agency. Twenty of us protesting against college arms fossil fuels and other human activities. handed out flyers and talked to the investment by waltzing outside The Panel, the most authoritative public, expressing our feelings about King’s College, dressed variously as global scientific body working on cli - the detrimental effects budget airlines shady ‘arms dealers’ and college fel - mate change, predicts that by 2100, L are having on the environment. L E

lows. You're much more likely to average global temperatures will rise N Rather than being thanked for doing R

find me out enjoying all the perks of between 1.8°C and 4°C. It does not O our bit to help the planet, however, we C

capitalism and unfair trade, or rule out a 6.4°C rise at the extreme. A were threatened with the arrest by P P maybe just kicking a dog as I am The consequences will be immense. I the police. Ironically, aeroplanes were P wont to do on a lazy Sunday. Increased desertification, rising sea Y flying overhead as one particular B

levels, diminishing polar ice sheets, N policeman was proposing this. I sug - O I

and an increase in air-borne diseases T gested that he instead arrest the trav - A

are all inevitable. We know climate R el agency directors, as their actions “you'll never T S

change is already happening, yet this U are clearly much more dangerous to L L catch me in the report makes clear how much worse it I this world than a twenty-one year old might get, particularly if we don’t act student handing out informational fly - winter drizzle now. We’ve spent too long quibbling climate change is such an immense ers. He wasn’t impressed. over the details and not enough time issue, with multiple contributing fac - And herein lies part of the problem. handing out trying to mitigate this crisis. “Frightened into tors and consequences, that it over - Because many of the important legal There are two main difficulties in whelms rather than inspires action. and political structures are taking too flyers” dealing with an issue such as climate stasis, many feel Frightened into stasis, many recognise long to accept that climate change is change. First, many in the devel - that it is happening but feel powerless one of the most im portant issues we oped world fear that to reduce their powerless to do to do anything productive. Pro-Bush- face, those of us campaigning to pre - carbon footprints, they will have to anti-Bush political propaganda, vested vent it are being pigeonholed as radi - Activism isn't really my thing, but give up certain luxuries they have anything industrial and aviation interests, and cal and unnecessary. The IPCC, con - other people campaigning for change come to take for granted. Weekend productive” media scare-mongering have fuelled sisting of 2,500 scientists from more doesn't bother me, just as long as flight to Paris anyone? Likewise, su ch stasis by casting doubt over than thirty countries, has incon - the more interventionist religious or businesses fear that cleaning up whether human-induced climate testably shown that this is not the ‘political’ students don't surface too their act will inevitably reduce prof - change really is an issue. The IPCC’s case. Now it is time for us to get out often to thrust things into my pigeon its. It would be a shame to look back we were too busy flying off to Spain report proves beyond doubt that it is. there and do something about it. I can hole, e-mail inbox or face. In truth, I in eighty years time and tell our or buying endless – and endlessly Now is the time for us to do some - only hope that that policeman will be don't feel any antipathy towards the grandchildren that we didn’t do any - disposable – Primark garments. thing about it. at our next protest, this time handing students who campaign against thing about climate change because Secondly, and more understandably, The first thing anyone stuck in that out flyers with the rest of us. arms dealing, or global warming, or even top up fees! I mean, why should I; they're nice, politically con - scious people who stage sweet little protests and put on good club nights. Inequality, health and happiness However, if you're one of those volunteers wearing a fluorescent vest and a big smile who wants me tality in Western Europe is their Christmas savings through envy when there are such strong to give "just five pounds a month" to between three and five per 1,000 the Farepak scheme, City bankers social and economic arguments in whatever charity you think is "like, births; in the U.S. it’s 7 per 1,000. netted several billion in bonuses. favour of wealth redistribution. totally a worthwhile cause" then you Meanwhile, the UK has the worst Try as we may, it is hard to cele - Job creation programmes, a mini - can expect to be lectured on not rates in Western Europe. brate this concentration of wealth, mum wage and redistribution being a righteous tosser if you Professor Richard Wilkinson at even if we’re told it will ultimately through schemes such as tax credits attempt to delay me when I'm try - Nottingham recently published a benefit us all. can have an impact, as the current ing to get into Boots. Approaching study of income inequality and pub - Rising UK housing prices, UK government has shown. Child people like this is aggressive behav - LUKE PEARCE lic health which confirms what many spurred by the free spending rich, poverty in this country is down ior, and trying to pass it off as fear: shorter life expectancy, poor have inhibited labour mobility and more than a quarter on 1998 levels. informative chat is worse because it health, violent crime and infant mor - condemned the poorest in our socie - A land value tax would create incen - exploits people’s good manners. any of us at tality are all linked to inequality. ty to a lifetime renting. Higher tives for the efficient use of land and Let’s face it, if you've ever given Cambridge find it This isn’t just about culture. The interest rates have hurt businesses bring down house prices, assisting money to one of these people (and hard to get worked most equal US states also have the and the indebted. The richest, the poor to gain a foothold. unfortunately, I have), then its up about inequality highest levels of social trust and meanwhile, can pay to draw the The strong have a duty to help because you've felt trapped, not in this country, par - lowest murder rates. Neither is most talented doctors away from the weak and the rich have a duty to because you've suddenly developed ticularly when we infant mortality and lower life the NHS. They can price the best help the poor. Individuals depend on a pressing concern to abolish what - hMear about poverty in the Third expectancy simply about poor diet. services out of the reach of the society for the opportunity to ever social ill is being highlighted. World. In the 1980s, Thatcher’s In the West, the likelihood of prema - majority, contributing further to become rich in the first place. We There are many reasons not to give Conservatives told us that poverty ture birth, the chief cause of infant the segregation of society. don’t want a brain-drain, but we to a charity, from believing that was people’s own fault. Politicians mortality, is increased by stress and British children born into lower shouldn’t glorify the super-rich and there are more worthwhile causes, today tend to emphasise absolute anxiety experienced during preg - social classes are twice as likely as can encourage talented Cambridge to believing that charity perpetu - poverty rather than relative pover - nancy by the poorest. their peers in richer families to die graduates to consider fulfilling ates government inaction over ty and tell us that we shouldn’t fret A low position on the community before the age of one. Whatever a careers motivated not simply by the humanitarian issues, to simply not about the super-rich. ladder can cause serious psychologi - society’s overall wealth, the fact that pursuit of wealth. wanting to relinquish that extra Inequality, however, does matter. cal damage. Low pay, in nominal some children suffer such compara - While retaining our concern for fiver because you'd rather get The poorest countries in the world and relative terms, suggests to peo - tive disadvantage undermines the the poor, let’s not blind ourselves to boozed on it. Whatever your rea - are indeed the least happy, but in ple that their work and existence is idea that we live in a meritocracy. the massive increase in income at sons, you needn't have to explain the developed world, it’s the most not valued or respected. Depression There is, however, hope. Those the top: it won’t make us any happi - them to some "gap yah" goon who equal, rather than the richest, is compounded by frustration when countries with the highest levels of er as a society, any more than the accosts you in the street. Charity which are happiest. The US is the people try but fail to lift themselves equality, such as Denmark, are Third World feels happier about a should be a choice, not a social wealthiest nation in the world but out of poverty. among the happiest and healthiest richer West. Let us remain con - pressure. Information is great, also one of the most unequal. Its Only this Christmas, we were and demonstrate that a fairer society cerned about a poverty-stricken coercion is disgraceful. child poverty rate is twice that of given a reminder of inequality in is worth pursuing. The left needs not world, but also a thoroughly other OECD countries. Infant mor - Britain: while working families lost fall victim to accusations of social unequal one. Friday February 9 2007 Write for this section: varsity.co.uk/comment 01223 353 422 COMMENT 9

Aria From Athens

TOM FORD

To\ me\n diatri/bein e1tov 0Aqh/nhsi i1swv a2n ou0k a0ciospou/daston fai/noito ei]nai: a0lla\ ga\r o0pw/ra po/lin qermai/nei kai\ nosei~oni]mai th~vdusosmi/av e#neka th~vtw~n o9dw\n. kai/per me\n ta\ pro\v th\n porei/an a0nalw/mata ou0k h]n e0moi\ polla/, katalu/w de\ h#dista pro\v th~a|0gora~|,dwma/tion e1xwn o4 tre/petai pro\v to\n 0Hridano\n potamo\n. suneisi\ de/ moi kai\ au0lhtri/dev ti/nev th~vnukto/v. 9Oshme/rai de\ ge/ronti ti/ni o9milw~, Swkra/thv o0no/masti: ou[tov ga\r a1lloiv diale/getai meiraki/oiv e0n th~a|0gora|~e.0kei~novg ’ eu] le/gei kai\ o3tan au0tou~a0kou/w, manqa/nw 9Ellhni/zein polu\ a1meinon. kai\ ga/r me e1nagxov proukalei~toei0v sumpo/sion, a0lla/ - a0prepe/stera ga\r h]n h9 lali/a kai\ ou0k prosh~ken toi~vh9mete/roiv no/moiv - ou0k a2n au]qiv, ei0 kai/ me prokaloi~to, dexoi/mhn. e0pei\ d ’ ou]n mequ/wn tiv ei0sba\v neani/skov peri\ ta\ tou~ Kleisqe/nouv e1lege, oi1xomai a0piw/n. 9O d ’ oi}nov e0ntau~qageu/etai tou~ a1ntlou. oi9 d ’ e1noikoi, w9v e0pi\ to\ polu/, a0mblu/teroi th\n dia/noian ei0si/n: e0ni/ote ga\r e0n toi~vmega/loiv Dionusi/oiv sunelqo/ntev e0kbow~si kata\ tw~pn oliteuome/nwn, a0ll ’ ou0x o9rma~taei0p ’ ou0de\n ou0dei\v e9kw/n “e0kei~no~v g’ eu] RAG’s blind bluff le/gei kai\ »We need to know where our charitable donations are going o3tan au0tou~~ scious act of giving. Yes, you are giv - Christian definition of charity (still and college representatives. Such an ing to charity, but only in the general, the predominant one) as an expres - arrangement begs the question: Why a0kou/w, nebulous sense. sion of compassion for one’s neigh - should someone give away their Nowhere on the blind date form on bour, then RAG’s principles are money to RAG when they do not which you drew your Tequila sound. Instead of frittering away even know where it will end up? manqa/nw Sunrise-swilling Aphrodite did it their student loan on May Balls, Refusing to give to RAG does not mention the specific charities to cheesy chips and clearly avoidable indicate lack of charity, but rather Ellhni/zein which your bribe will be donated. library fines, students ought to, at strength of character. It is much easi - The recipient charity is decided by least momentarily, stop seeing them - er to put five pounds in a box, feel the RAG committee only at the end selves as impoverished and malnour - morally elevated, and get on with polu\ of the year, and even then, the pot is ished and think about those less for - your day than it is to confront the ” divided between a plethora of differ - tunate. By turning collecting into an bucket-waving collector and say “No a1meinon ent recipients. This is somewhat inter-collegiate competition and inte - thanks, I like to give to causes I problematic. Charity is not like a grating it into student lifestyle choic - believe in”. JAMIE MUNK government tax, something you es like drinking, dating, and in the It is rather insulting to the intel - unthinkingly give to an agency which case of the Miss Jesus style competi - lect of the supposedly well-informed, to/ g ’ e0f ’ e9auto/n. ou0x h3kista ei0v then disposes of your money as they tions, often humiliating cross-dress - well-educated individuals who inhab - 0Akro/polin e0n th~p| rosodw~| decided not to go on RAG (and not you) see fit. ing, RAG makes a massive success it our university to expect them to a0nabai/nein a0gapw~is, kai\ dh~ta blind date this year. So when a RAG rep sidled up to of this altruism. Raising almost put money in a box without knowing sfa/zein bou~en0n tw~a|0krw~f|.asi/ Shunning the promise of my table in the college bar offering a where it’s going. me\n bou~veu0tele/statouv e0nqa/de, scintillating conversation selection of luminous glowsticks the Giving to charity is an ongoing e0moi\ de\ dokw~e1noikouv h3desqai ta\ with a charming young lady, other week with the ever-appealing “Refusing to process, not a one-off event. It fqe/gmata, a4 xroni/zontai, o3tan I instead stayed at home line “Go on, it’s for charity”, I began expresses your concern for issues fac - sfa/zousi sxolai/wv. e9a\n dh~pou wIith a bottle of scotch, a box of corn - to realise just how much RAG’s give to RAG ing humanity on large and small feu/gh| o9 bou~vo,i9 de\ poli~tai flakes and a DVD boxset of 24 . methods diverge from traditional scales. This is not to say that charity diw/kousin au0to\n e1nqa kai\ e1nqa Maybe not the most exciting of concepts of charity. RAG (Raise and does not ought merely to be a personal act a0mfi\ to\n Parqe/nwna. nights, but that wasn’t the point: I Give) is pretty much defined by its between donor and recipient. It is also Prosh~lqodne\ pro\v pollou\v was making a protest. fundraising activities. It is a group of indicate lack of a public act of protest and an opportu - a0stugei/tonav, o4uv e0qau/masa. a0ll ’ It’s not that I don’t like giving to people who get together through a nity to show solidarity with a common e0n Spa/rth| cenagei~sqaoiu0d ’ charity, having no-strings-attached shared interest in making money for charity, but cause, be it saving whales or provid - o9pwstiou~an2n du/naito. e0qew/rhsa dates or being thrown out of charity. But one wonders whether in ing free buses for the elderly. And this me/ntoi paidi/on ti trwgo/menon e0n Cindies. It’s just that I don’t like RAG’s eagerness to appeal to as big rather strength public identification with a cause is th|~gaste/ri u9po\ a0lw/pekov. giving to RAG. a demographic as possible, the broad - critical. It brings the failings of soci - Korinqo/qi d ’ ei0v to\n th~v The idea of donating money to ness of their definition of charity of character” eties and governments to their atten - 0Afrodi/thv new/n e0ba/disa dou/lav charity is that we support causes ends up venerating the raising aspect tion and forces us to deal with them. i9era\v th|~qew~e0p| iskopei~-n a4v u9mi~n that we personally care about. We do above the giving. One does not give There is no reason that RAG fra/sw e0n e0pistolh|~a1llote. this on a voluntary basis and out of a to “charity”, but to particular chari - should not do this too: all it needs to sense of compassion; giving is a con - table organisations. By defining itself £12,000 out of one night’s dating do is choose its charities at the start, scious act of support. around the act of fundraising and games is pretty impressive, however rather than the end of the year. My sincere thanks to Mr. A. J. This is where my idea of charity obscuring the recipients, RAG you look at it. Although specifying recipients might Bowen for his considerable departs from RAG’s philosophy. erodes the vital element of choice But this success does not overcome lead to a drop in funds raised, at least improvements to the first two Paying to go on a blind date, or any central to donating. the main issue of RAG’s ‘untagged the donors will know where their paragraphs: any silliness that other event organised by the group, Okay, so maybe this is a little funds’ that are only allocated follow - money is going. And it might even remains is entirely mine. provides no opportunity for a con - harsh. After all, if we take the ing a vote by its central committee convince me to go on the Blind Date. Got something to say? Email Friday February 9 2007 10 EDITORIAL & LETTERS [email protected] varsity.co.uk/letters

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unemployed and the economy of entire the Conservatives, who have inherited LETTER OF THE WEEK regions devastated? Blair has made most from Thatcher. Undoubtedly, The Cambridge Stage mistakes, certainly, but surely nothing history will not be kind to Blair. Let us Dear Sir, on the scale of destruction practised hope that his successor will salvage by Thatcher. the New Labour legacy and rescue the The University’s prospectus proudly announces that “at In last week’s interview Michael government from the history of Cambridge you can do almost anything at almost any level, Howard describes the downfall of In 2002, Howard accused Blair of “try - Thatcherism. from ‘having a go’ to semi-professional. University, with its Tony Blair’s government thus: ing to play Margaret Thatcher”, con - clubs and societies, is about trying things you’ve never had “Labour came to office ‘with a huge tinuing: “I know Margaret Thatcher. Giles Smith the chance to do before.” The promise is certainly upheld. majority, with great public good will... This prime minister is no Margaret Fitzwilliam College Cambridge students are well known for their involvement in and it’s all fallen to dust in his Thatcher”. Something for which we everything from drama to politics, sport to journalism. Some hands.”Does this ring a bell? How should all be grateful, perhaps. Yet Tell Varsity what’s on your about the 1979 Conservative victory, Howard unwittingly touched on one of mind - each week, the best appear, almost depressingly, to be astonishingly successful at letter will win a specially doing pretty much all of them at once. when the Tories came in with almost Blair’s major problems - the legacy of selected bottle of wine from 44% of the vote, just as Labour would Thatcherism. our friends at Cambridge in 1997? And what of the ensuing eco - Wine Merchants, King’s Parade The University’s prospectus also boasts that many of its nomic policy that left two generations Indeed it is New Labour, rather than more famous societies “can provide a springboard for subse - quent careers in theatre, music, politics, journalism and pro - fessional sport”. This is also substantiated. Yet prominence Sir/Sir and Madam, as I regret having done - learned last year: a meeting to which none of achieved can often in some part be traced back to the name that the hard way. the current students was invited. In and reputation of Cambridge as a University, no matter how The organisers of the NatSci film fes - my view this does not constitute ade - talented the individuals involved may be, how spectacular tival your paper has been relentlessly Jack Sommers quate consultation and is indicative of their opening night was, or how well run their society is. plugging may have shot themselves in Fitzwilliam College the contempt shown by the universi - Cambridge’s standing as one of the world’s top three univer - the foot: its name is almost identical to ty to students who feel that they Chris Nieratko's sadly defunct column Dear Sir, have simply been brushed aside by sities ensures that the activities of its students often achieve of porn reviews - 'skinema' - which ‘the powers that be’. far greater national and international coverage than those at was a staple of Vice Magazine long I write on behalf of the current other British universities. before it arrived in Cambo. undergraduates of South Asian The report also pledges to provide Studies regarding a review of the “necessary care and attention to the In many ways this is enormously beneficial and it has been Coincimental! Faculty of Oriental Studies and the completion of the studies of current argued that the greater recognition of it’s role is perhaps proposed discontinuation of the students”. This is already a hollow deserved. Yet it would appear at times to be a dangerously Ned Hercock, undergraduate South A sian Studies statement: undergraduates this year double-edged sword. The interest generated by the Queens' College course within the Faculty. have found themselves with vastly Cambridge name can give an undue importance to activities curtailed options for papers, with within the University that would otherwise go unnoticed. I would like to express my thanks to more cuts set to follow before any of Dear Sir and Madam, the staff of the South Asian Studies us complete our degrees. In the wake The interest shown by The Times in a survey conducted by Department, who have, throughout of potential cuts in other subjects like Downing into the service provided by its bedders is one Stuart Smith's article about foreign this difficult and uncertain period Portuguese, this surely makes a example. The Daily Mail’s “University of Shamebridge” arti - films might have been better if he'd never failed to provide teaching of the mockery of Cambridge’s supposed cle on the St John’s Swans in 2001 is another. defined what he meant by 'foreign highest standard and offer their con - diversity and its belief that it is among films'. At the beginning it seems he tinued help and support. The depart - the finest academic institutions in the The position of guest editor at the Clareification is not cur - means any film produced with money ment epitomises what I believe world. rently included in the University prospectus as constituting and personnel not from America but Cambridge should be: a place where it one the most prestigious, demanding or accomplished extra- later he talks about Apocalypto and is the love of learning that is impor - The whole process has created an curricular posts available. This week it has, however, Babel , which suggests he means any - tant, not its economic viability. atmosphere of uncertainty and ambi - thing with subtitles. I say 'might guity. Despite this however, it has eclipsed all others. The continuing problems at the Union, have been better' but I think it's It is a shame that the passion and com - not diminished my passion and com - which have in the past repeatedly made national headlines, unlikely. Lamenting the supposed mitment to students shown by our mitment to the study of one of the have this week gone largely unnoticed. Yet the Cambridge underdog status of non-American staff has not been shared by the mem - most fascinating and relevant University name is not what has led to the Clareification films is so old hat and familiar it could bers of the General Board. regions of the world. back-page cartoon generating such contention. As the prior put amphetamine freaks to sleep. actions of Gair Rhydd , and Y Llan demonstrate, the pres - There's no reason to think that films Throughout the review, communica - Support for this cause would be much tige, connections and circulation of publications are irrele - produced by big American studios tion with the student body has been appreciated; there is an online petition vant when it comes to issues of such international sensitivity are worse than ones that aren't. The woeful. Undergraduates have been available at: as the Danish cartoon. It can only be hoped that next time foreign language films that are well given almost no opportunity to voice the University arouses such interest it is for something more known outside the countries they concerns and there have been no http://www.petitiononline.com/ssas20 originated from are the best of the attempts to explain what the out - 07/petition.html intelligent. crop. Anyone who caught the series comes of this process represents. The of abysmal German films at last report refers to a mythical open Representative students of year's Cambridge Film Festival - meeting held sometime after term South Asian Studies

The Independent Cambridge Student Newspaper since 1947 Greetings from the pulpit. This week, a Varsity has been Cambridge’s independent student newspaper since 1947, and distributes 10,000 free copies sermon on ladylike deportment, which to every Cambridge college and ARU weekly. Varsity is proud to be the holder of numerous student media awards and a vast number of alumni now working in international media. Varsity also publishes BlueSci has been woefully lacking from the magazine, The Mays , and an online edition at www.varsity.co.uk . parish thid past week. We have been Board of Directors: Dr. Michael Franklin (Chair), Prof. Peter Robinson, Mr Tim Harris, Ms Amy Goodwin , Mr wringing our hands over reports of Tom Walters, Mr Christopher Adams, Mr Michael Derringer, Mr Christopher Wright, Mr Joseph Braidwood, Ms two supposedly self-regarding affili - Mary Bowers (Varsoc President), Mr Jonathan Ensall, Mr Joseph Gosden and Ms Natalie Woolman ates of the congregation and their Editors Natalie Woolman and Joe Gosden [email protected] Associate Editors Jamie Munk and Bobby less than angelic conduct. Friedman [email protected] Chief News Editors Alice Whitwham and Lizzie Mitchell First, we were gravely sobered last week to hear that a [email protected] Features Editors Catherine Hall and Rob Haworth [email protected] Arts Editor Lowri Jenkins [email protected] Arts Associate Editor Was Yaqoob [email protected] Interviews certain fashionista of the froideur school found herself far Editor Lucy McSherry [email protected] Interviews Associate Editor Jossie Clayton from composed when intoxication led to an unfortunately [email protected] Chief Sport Editor Tom Marriot [email protected] public loss of control. It is our clerical duty to stress Online Editor Rachel Cooper [email protected] Online Team Ling Low, Lotte Johnson, Sarah euphemisms surrounding intoxication are not to be con - Rainey, Ling Low, Jack Tunstall, Miriam Burton, Maria Staiano-Kolaitis, Rhiannon Easterbrook [email protected] Podcast Editor Joe Braidwood [email protected] doned. It seems that in this case, as with the “trollied” gen - News Editors Elliot Ross, Nikki Burton, Georgia Argus and Rebecca Lester [email protected] Comment tleman last term, the Union is the nexus of this sinful Editor Tor Krever [email protected] Letters Editor Miriam Burton [email protected] Listings Editor deportment. The female offender’s mictural self-soaking Was Yaqoob [email protected] Science Editors James Shepherd and Michaela Freeland did little to dampen her night and despite being - and of [email protected] Food and Drink Editor George Grist Restaurant Critics Chris Ringland and Ed Ho [email protected] Fashion Editors Beatrice Wilford, Iona Carter and Lauren Smith course having - pissed, she and her friend proceeded to [email protected] Literature Editor Tom Stenhouse [email protected] Music Editors Liz Bradshaw that doomed Friday night den of iniquity behind the round and Richard Braude [email protected] Visual Arts Editor Catherine Spencer [email protected] Screen church. We venture that its punters were too “trollied” to Editor Stuart Smith [email protected] Theatre Editors Moya Sarner and Osh Jones [email protected] Sports Editors Noel Cochrane, Persephone Bridgman-Baker and Simon Allen [email protected] notice the young lady’s unfortunate state. Production Trish Abraham, Lottie Young and Kate O’Raghallaigh Chief Photo Editor Dylan Spencer- Feminine composure also eluded a notorious thespian fig - Davidson [email protected] Chief Photographers Amica Dall, Emily Wright and Alexandra ure. Alas yes, the ADC, that bastion of nepotism and van - Constantinides [email protected] ity, has once again spawned a whispered tale of scandal. Business Manager Adam Edelshain [email protected] Chief Production and Design Michael Allegedly, its power-hungry prima donna was not so prima Derringer [email protected] Technical Directors Michael Derringer and Chris Wright technical- [email protected] Company Secretary Patricia Dalby [email protected] after her director-friend failed to give her his play’s prime role. The presumptuous diva had assumed the part was Varsity is published by Varsity Publications Ltd. and printed by Cambridge Newspapers Ltd. All copyright is the exclusive property of Varsity Publications Ltd. hers, flying into a rage at the snub. Rumour has it that the No part of this publication is to be reproduced, stored on a retrieval system or submitted in any form or by any indignant madam prom ptly checked herself into a costly means, without prior permission of the publisher. hotel to surmount the ignominy in expensive seclusion. © Varsity Publications Ltd, 2006. 11-12 Trumpington St., Cambridge CB2 1QA Tel: 01223 337575 Fax: 01223 352913 n o s y

ARTS: rock ‘n’ roll T e t S t o l

radio - why the air r a h waves are cool again C y b d T e n g i

INTERVIEW: artist s e Andrew Tift on photo d

R realism REVIEWS: The

A Seagull FEATURES: civil partnerships on Valentines Day & S E R U T A E FRIDAY FEBRUARY 9 2007, ISSUE 652 F Features editors: Robin Haworth & Catherine Hall Friday February 9 2007 12 FEATURES Email: [email protected] varsity.co.uk/features Civilised

Affair

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T e N U H S E L U J Y B N O I T A R T S U L

L F I Friday February 9 2007 Write for this section: varsity.co.uk/features [email protected] FEATURES 13

It is Valentine’s Day again, and, this year, Mary Laura Kilbride Bowers met some of the students who want Romantic alternatives love to last longer than a chocolate heart to paper aeroplanes he black sky is clear and the noid fiance. Another two also wished propose? “It was Valentine’s day. John Ever wondered how to enact your own tinkling of piano keys is only to retain their privacy, despite their had cooked dinner. We were just sit - period drama in a lecture? No? Well, Tjust audible above the rich voice relative openness about it online. Was ting around in his room and John this Valentines day why not take the of Nat King Cole, wafting over the it, perhaps, that true love really dare said ‘oh, but you’d be really scared if I initiative. Step one is easy: simply rip Cam from the Granta. Valentine’s not speak it name? Could it be true proposed now’. I said ‘no’, and he got a largish piece of paper out of your Day looms upon us yet again, and all that even on February 14 any expres - the foil from the champagne bottle Tort or Faerie Queene. Satisfying? over our hallowed town couples hud - sion of love that was not moulded in and made a ring.” Then I’ll proceed. dle over ten pound set menus at Bella plastic or shrouded in satin was, well, Of course, both are very capable of Fold the shorter edge of the page over Pasta. Others sit slowly banging their just too much like bragging? unselfconsciously spewing exactly the an inch and smooth through, flipping the heads against their pin boards, listen - Rob and Emily Darvill married kind of phrase that propelled the paper over. Now fold another one inch ing to old Take That albums, and while still students at the University. phrase ‘smug marrieds’ into the OED. section upwards. Continue zigzagging wishing, only wishing, they had half They met in their first year “at a “The best thing about it is living with until you run out of paper, secure at one the self-esteem of Bridget Jones. MedSoc curry in the Mahal”, and, my best friend” grins Emily. “I can’t end and let the elegant folds fall out: after dating each other for a couple of imagine life without Hannah” enthus - voila! Your very own Venetian/ Regency years, Rob decided to propose. “I took es John. Despite the support of their ‘mere undergrads we Emily to a secret location, on a families and friends (“We only had might be, but there deserted meander of the river” he one ‘you are too young’ - I appreciated ‘Using Badini’s 1797 declares proudly, “with a waterfall her honesty,” says Rob), Queens’ text, use your fan to are some who profess behind us and rolling valleys in front College, for one, “did nil” to support of us. If it hadn’t been for the tramp their living arrangements. In under - signal to the other to have found their who was there when we arrived it graduate rooms the sexes cannot co- soulmate’ would have been absolutely perfect. I habit and whilst married sets do exist people in the room, dropped onto one knee and asked The they are above the boathouse, over a pursuing those you find Question. I had a dozen red roses mile away. Valentine’s Day either represents the delivered to Emily as we arrived back “I have always been of the view amorously appealing’ forced affection young couples distain at my house.” They married last sum - that it lacks a bit of balls and isn’t yet are lured into by their own guilty mer and are in the fourth and fifth very loving to say ‘I love you, want to reflection in the card shop window; or years, Emily as a medic at live with you and be with you forever period fan. Use your fan to signal to the the (far more enjoyable in my opin - Addenbrooke’s and Rob a Vet student. but I am too scared to declare it pub - other people in the room with fans, pur - ion) mutual wallowing of contrived With his winning smile, and her licly and have it formally approved on suing those you find amorously appeal - loneliness and retrospection. demure and modest grin, Rob and paper” says Rob. Perhaps us students ing using Badini’s 1797 “Original But forgotten in our lovelorn town Emily are exactly the type of couple Fa nology”. Not in Waterstones? Then are those students who might dare to aspiring Bridget Joneses will delight I’d better help. Having first mastered: stand for all that Valentine’s Day is in spilling their Chardonnay over. But ‘John took the foil from Yes and No (letting the fan rest on the there to commemorate. For, mere wait, there’s more. right or left cheek) wave the fan about undergrads we might be, but there John Garrett and Hannah Wright the champagne cork in the air over your head until you are some who, at our tender ages, pro - are both third year students, who and made a ring’ have attracted your aficionado/a’s fess to have found their soulmate. have been engaged since Valentine’s attention. This done, initiate conversa - Researching this article, surprising - Day two years ago, and they don’t tion: touching the tip of the fan with a ly, was like hitting one’s head against even hold the CICCU card as an feel our lives are formalised on paper finger (I wish to speak to you), a closed a wall. Facebook couples are typically excuse. They met at interview, got enough; but whether staring into the fan resting on the right eye (when can ‘married’ to their college husbands or together in their first term, and were eyes of your girlfriend over the I see you?). wives, or, oh so comically, same sex engaged by their second. “Hannah sat SpagBol, or those of Pete Doherty Let the intrigue simmer for about friends A surprising number of beside me and complained about from your college wall, spare a twenty minutes gesticulating towards ‘engaged’ couples wished to remain some guy playing music in her room.” thought for those who have become the weather, lecturer, last night’s bop anonymous. “Our friends don’t know “I said, ‘hey, can I come and study in objects of ire for their sheer impu - until, strongly affected, your devotee about the intensity of our relation - your room?’ There was no ulterior dent, true love. After all, marriage is offers a half-closed fan pressed to the ship” pleaded one email from a para - motive!” How did John eventually for life, not just for Valentine’s Day. lips (kiss me). You might observe, twirling the fan in the left hand that you are being watched, and luckily the fan will provide sufficient cover at this point- ONLINE: but wait! Who’s that?-a contender in the

Valentine’s third row! You find yourself quickly mov - Is it only about Boy meets Girl? ➡ Love in a Cyber Climate: ing the fan back and forth between hands (I have seen you look at another), The recognition of Civil Partnerships more creative in the way they treat closing the fan quickly (I’m jealous), fan - in 2005 may theoretically have their partners on Valentine’s Day. In Leonie Shanks on the ning manically with the left hand (don’t heightened our tolerance levels Cambridge, hardly anyone’s gay, so death of literary you dare flirt with another man/woman). towards homosexual relationships, things are quite against you. The romance The fans lie limp on the desk for about

but it doesn’t take Jade Goody to market’s in disequilibrium. Demand twenty chapters, until the reprobate prove to the nation that social atti - far outstrips supply.” ➡ Romance.ucam: turns with a long slow look, drawing the tudes in our nation’s enclaves are James Trafford, meanwhile, has a fan across the eyes (I’m sorry). very different from those in parlia - contrary view. “Valentine’s Day is The lowdown by Having had plenty of opportunity to ment. Varsity asks two former very different for gay people. If two Simone Milani assess the prowess/ waywardness of your CUSU LGBT reps: is Valentine’s dif - men went out for a meal in a restau - paramour’s fan-talent make a decision: ferent when you’re gay? rant on any other day except placing your fan near your heart (I love Noel Cochrane said0 “Valentine’s Valentine’s Day, no one would think you) and shutting a fully open fan slowly Day isn’t different when you’re gay. anything of it, but if you go on (I promise to marry you) or alternatively Perhaps its because I am completely Valentine’s Day people know you’re dropping the fan (we’ll be friends). Then happy with my sexuality; if I was going out. Everyone would know again, it might be best to make excuses: repressed, it might be different. If you’re there and that you’re different. slowly fanning (I’m actually married) or you’re going out with someone, you If I were to go out with another boy even, vengefully, twirling the fan right should give them something every it wouldn’t be on Valentine’s Day. handed and pointing at your neighbour day, not just on February 14. For a Your choice is often limited to doing (I love another). Make helpful fish move - single person, it’s a bit tongue-in- something a bit more intimate. Gay ments with your fan to indicate there cheek; it gives you a chance to flirt clubs normally have a massive thing, are plenty more men and women in the with people. Gay people are, I think, and it’s more of a sex thing.” sea. Now who says romance is dead? We are now accepting applications for Summer Analyst positions Apply online at www.mercermc.com/joinlondon by 16 February 2007 Friday February 9 2007 Science Editors: James Shepherd & Michaela Freeland varsity.co.uk/features Email: [email protected] SCIENCE 15

UNDER THE LABCOAT

MicoTatlovic On olfaction in animals

Land mines left behind in various wars are estimated to kill 26 thousand people around the world and mine clearance is a hazardous and costly activity. However, rats specially trained to detect mines may soon be saving lives. The small size of rats means they don’t deto - nate the explosives if they step on them, and their excellent smell can be trained to easily detect mines where humans would have to spend hours to find the same, using probes or other hi-tech devices. The rats’ abilities to detect mines, following training in Africa, is Gene Pull proven; if they are shown to be opera - tionally successful, we might be seeing many more in use around the world. As species numbers plummet, Rob Haworth Even the most despised animals can help us save lives. profiles Edward Wilson , father of modern ecology The fear of war has been replaced by the fear of terror in the Western World. n the 1950s, much as today, island hop - diversity. The larger fragments were much of mind can be applied to mammals, pri - Another amazing animal with great olfac - ping around Baja California was a less strongly affected, maintaining their mates and eventually humans, to predict tory abilities has the potential to make a Ipleasant way for young researchers to species numbers in the manner predicted social behaviour. Using genetics in a portable and a highly sensitive explosive pass a field season. Whilst Robert in the 1963 work. behavioural context makes it, in some detection system – bees. Trained in the MacArthur and Edward Wilson, of Then at the age of forty, Robert respects, the forerunner to Dawkins’ The UK to detect minute traces of explosives, Princeton and Harvard respectively, were MacArthur died and Wilson left behind the Selfish Gene , and these authors have in a few of them can then be stored and enjoying just such a jaunt, they did what nascent science of biogeography, to return tandem been vilified as ultra-reductionist their behaviour monitored. Certain key most of us would not have done – count to his childhood passion – the natural his - and triumphantly individualistic in out - flight patterns will alert the security per - insects. In fact, they set about cataloguing tory of ants. At that time, numerous rapid look. In the political and social climate of sonnel to the presence of explosives. Bees the entire species of inventory of hundreds advances in evolutionary thought were 1970s Massachusetts, the whiff of racism can provide us with a faster and more of these islands – no small task, one would being aggregated as modern ‘neo- threatened Wilson’s very academic future – sensitive system of explosive detection, imagine, but one that revolutionised popu - Darwinian’ theory – amongst the most and his most vociferous critic was from perfect for use in stadia, transportation lation biology and led to a career such that important, the principle that shared inher - within Harvard itself: the late Stephen Jay systems and other places where screening Wilson now sits “at Darwin’s right hand” in itance, as in siblings, gives rise to altruism. Gould, Marxist and evolutionary theorist, of individuals is impossible. the pantheon of evolutionary theorists. Look after your family – they share your denounced Sociobiology as a fascist treatise Explosives are not the only thing we The resultant Theory of Island genes, after all – but look out for your and comparable to eugenics. fear from terrorists, drinking water could Biogeography of 1963, is a slim, green vol - cousin less than your brother because the Considering the murky associations of potentially be targeted. How do you ume containing formidable equations and former is more genetically distant. This is such a tag, it is a surprise to find that develop a fast and reliable system to only the sparsest of prose. There is one Wilson is now a Pulitzer Prize-winning detect that someone has been messing simple conclusion – that the number of author, formerly one of Time magazine’s around with your water supplies? The species they found on a given island varied “Wilson has been vilified most 25 influential people and a celebrated answer, of course, is: use animals. Some predictably with the size of that island: humanist. But as the planet faces unprece - American cities are already using sun - tiny islands have some, larger ones lots as ultra-reductionist and dented ecological upheaval, the rediscovery fish to make sure water supplies are not more and really big ones only a few more a triumphant of Wilson’s early work is key to under - under attack by chemical or biological than that. There would, as the theory goes, standing how we will affect biodiversity in agents. The fish are held in pools of be no difference between a continent-sized individualist” the years ahead. The Theory of Island drinking water used to supply citizens; island and country-sized island in terms of Biogeography tells us that with each log - computers detect any changes in fish’s species richness. ging incursion and each destroyed health. These fish have already been This effect can be demonstrated experi - fundamental for its quantitative insights hedgerow the rate of biodiversity loss goes used successfully to detect diesel spill, mentally – in Brazil, patches of rainforest into how our behaviour as well as our body ever upward. For it is a stark fact that as but they are not as reliable when it earmarked for clearance were bought up is influenced by genetics – and, precisely our planet’s natural environment is frag - comes to detecting various germs. Their and divided into squares of different size, because it addresses questions of the brain, mented by onrushing humanity, former work is appreciated though, and at least from just a few hectares up to a few hun - it is mired in controversy and accusations continents of ecology like the Amazon they make sure people don’t drink chem - dred. The biodiversity within them was of genetic determinism. basin, or indeed British woodlands, become ically altered water. measured, the land around them cleared, On the back of this body of work, twelve mere collections of islands, standing proud When it comes to health, cancer is one and then they were left to evolve. The years later Wilson published Sociobiology: amidst a sea of humanity, palm oil, beef of our most vicious enemies. Man’s best results were astonishing – small plots a new synthesis . It is a scholarly and pasture or bypasses. And, as such, they are friend, the humble canine, has been degraded within months, the formerly lush unashamedly academic text, and its impor - describable by those equations written in shown earlier this year to be able to tell rainforest drying out and becoming open tance outside myrmecology arises from the 1963, written when the whole issue was of by olfaction alone whether people have grassland with only a fraction of its former final chapters – how these genetic theories merely academic importance. cancer or not. By sniffing peoples’ breath, dogs can detect breast and lung cancer with high specificities and sensitivities. Further development of this method of Stem Cell Therapy Trials Offer “False Hope” www. bluesci .org cancer detection may lead to more cer - tain and earlier diagnosis of various can - It is hoped by scientists that in many years time, University Scientific Society on 23 January, Professor cers in humans thereby allowing for

e currently incurable conditions, such as Motor McLaren said that finding such a cure within ten years was faster and more efficient treatment. e c n n Neurone Disease, may be treatable with stem cells highly unlikely. She mentioned other conditions, such as Be it war, terrorism or disease, it is i e l

i - 'master' cells with the potential to turn into any Parkinson's disease, as having the same difficulties. clear that animals’ extraordinary olfacto - n c type of cell in the body. Speaking to the Cambridge Left: Professor McLaren, who spoke in Cambridge ry powers may help save human lives. O S [email protected] Arts editor: Lowri Jenkins Friday February 9 2007 Friday February 9 2007 Write for this section: 16 ARTS Email: [email protected] varsity.co.uk/arts varsity.co.uk/arts 01223 353 422 ARTS 17

1 UNSIGNED WFMU.org

New Artists; by the time you’ve heard of The holy grail of internet radio for all them, they’ve already toured the country hipsters and indie kids. Completely Original and already boast a growing fanbase of freeform (no playlists!) and completely which you are only one miniscule mem - free of adverts this is just about the most ber. There seems to be no way to discover perfect internet radio station you'll find, hidden gems and keep them to yourself, though it’s from across the pond, it has its right? No longer. Every week, on Radio finger on the pulse of British music. Just 1, the best local unsigned music from a switching on one morning in the summer Pirate variety of different shows - Rob Da Bank of 2005 I heard The Long Blondes when (Leftfield/folksie, Thurs), Huw Stephens they'd barely hit British radio and heard (Indie/punkTues), Ras Kwame (dub - some rare Kenickie b-side or another step/grime, Weds) and Fergie (under - (Michael Goodstein's anglophilia is a ground dance, Fri) - is collated into a great introduction, in spite of his current nifty little podcast. To give you an idea: absence) and a quick search for your in the last instalment, Stephens (proba - favourite band should put you onto any Material bly the best-known out of the four) trav - other show that you'll probably find a elled to the Netherlands’ Eurosonic tonne of other stuff you like from. The Festival and presented tracks from station is just a musical sprawl with bands like Zea, Persil and Da almost nothing neglected, the website is Wunderlust; and he has brought to light something to immerse yourself in and the such London bands as Tinpots, The blog will point you to whatever is the talk Varsity Music celebrates the Duloks and Girls That Scratch. of New York right now. rebirth of radio with its pick of the airwaves. Lock down your aerial ARROW DANDELION

ong before the internet attract - Arrow is an extended acronym for All Dandelionradio.com aims to fill the void in ed us all to the romance of the Rock and Roll Oldies, and it does just independent music left by John Peel’s Lgreat unknown, radio ruled the what it says on the tin. You’ll find it nes - death. To their great credit they manage waves. The airy wisps of its influence CBS.nu tled in airwaves at 675 AM; if you want to follow in Peel’s footsteps although fall are embedded in British cultural con - classic rock, tune in and drop out. It's a short of filling his large, BBC-backed sciousness. The Radio 4 theme, Steve Straight out of The Hague comes the Dutch station, with all the usual inter- shoes. Dandelion continues, in an engag - Wright In The Afternoon, groaning at Cybernetic Broadcasting System, devised song drivel from faces probably best suit - ing and endearing fashion, Peel’s true fan - the Chris Moyles show over your by i-f of 'Space Invaders are Smoking ed to radio, but with one little perk: the ship conveyed by people who loved his cornflakes – radio may seem an old Grass' fame. All day it blazes out unre - vast majority of us on this island won't unassuming style, such as Rachael fashioned, even out-dated medium, lenting electronic sugar rushes and euro - have a bloody clue what they're saying. Neiman co-founder of Cherryade records associated with continuity and the vision winners from a dystopian Spending an hour in the company of and winner of Radio 1 Huw Stephen’s DIY same familiar voices. But, for a long future/unrealised past. Expect absurd Arrow’s airwaves is like pretending to be label of the year award. Presenters create time radio was also at the cutting italodisco classics with badly sung your parents when they were your age. shows, which rotate throughout the edge of new music, represented most English, sprawling electronic prog epics But kind of middle-aged at the same time. month, based only upon the music they powerfully by the tradition of the (although no avant-garde bullshit, unless So that leaves those of us listening from love; no playlists. This month they offer a late, great John Peel. The rise of the it's a concept song about martians) and behind the wheel to sit back, perhaps not special programme celebrating 10 years of internet has strengthened this tradi - soundbites from b-movies with mention relax (apparently there are laws against important independent label Shifty Disco. tion, not undermined it. Online radio of humans replaced by ROBOTS ("he's that in this country) and let those groovy Peel’s legendary Festive Fifty baton was is providing listeners with access to not a human - HE'S A MACHINE!"). All vibes take us on a long strange trip also handed to the station in December. stations all over the world and to an classics and parallel dimension numbers through the best of the 60's and 70's. Dandelion is an alternative to the main - infinitely vaster array of new sounds. ones that you'd be gagging to loathe if it Holland's given us the sex and drugs, now stream working with it to showcase great This increasing variety may seem in was remotely popular, but the fact is no- here's their rock n' roll. music - just as Peel would have liked it. keeping with the modern obsession one has the balls to make music like this with choice and demand-driven anymore so it's completely fine to turn it media, and to a certain extent it is. up and pretend you're Phil Oakley. Radio, however, is unlike the YouTubes of this world where you simply type in the song you want and LATE JUNCTION CHICKS & CARS are provided with it immediately. The beauty of a radio show is that, once As you might expect from the comfort - Started from an all-male laundry room you’ve made the decision to tune in, PANDORA ingly eccentric Radio 3, Late Junction is over 40 years ago, the University of s you are guided by a personal touch. less of a dive into the great unknown, California’s freeform radio station pro - To download a band’s songs, or look Pandora.com is trying to change the way more of a gentle sliding into a bath of duces some weird and wonderful sounds them up on MySpace, you have to we listen to music. As part of the Music obscurity, Late Junction provides its lis - to dig throughout the night, accessible at have heard of them first; radio still Genome Project, where every song is cat - teners with an eclectic and challenging kdvs.org. The pick of the lot is undoubt - offers that kick of being introduced to egorised on 400 different aspects such as schedule that is still somehow appropri - edly Megan’s Chicks & Cars, a collection t something you’ve never encountered. tonality, syncopation and vocal har - ate for bed time. Broadly speaking, the of psych, garage punk and rare sixties It plays a crucial role in providing a monies, Pandora uses this analysis to music broadcast falls into the categories folk. Her taste reigns supreme, and usu - way through for non-mainstream, select recommendations for what you of modern classical, electronic, folk, jazz, ally six or seven songs go by before she anti-commercial or overseas music; in should listen to. Starting with one of world and early; in reality, while the introduces the next set. No ads, no inter - the process offering the listener an your favourite songs or artists, Pandora tracks are this diverse, there is still con - views, just one hot-rod Lincoln ride

r opportunity to discover new and builds up a database of similar songs and sistency in the form of the mellow away from today. interesting sounds. At a time when streams them as a radio station. You can atmosphere of the show, thanks to the If you like the sound of retro radio, E

new bands are getting pushed K laidback presenters and the strangely KCEA.org is a proper Swing Era station hone in on your own sound by rating A R through faster than their pin badges each song it plays to update its database, D soothing quality of the music. Tracks in the States that streams through M I

can be made, radio can encourage us and you can have different ‘stations’ for T range from dissonant madrigals by six - iTunes as well as Windows. Besides the : to look backwards as well as for - N teenth century murderer Gesualdo de awesome 30s and 40s recordings, there's O

every mood you’re in. It’s an impressive I T

wards. When all is transitory, go A Venosa to the latest offering by harp- the occasional radio story from the peri -

way to listen to new music you like, but R I transistory. So this week, we present S playing pixie Joanna Newsom to plenty od, although be warned - Wednesday the only catch is that copyright limits its U L L some of our contributors’ choice use to America. Enter any valid zip code I of excellent stuff I’ve never heard of and night shows tend to revolve around local transmissions. A and you escape notice... never will again except on this show. amateur sports features. Write for this section Friday February 9 2007 18 ARTS [email protected] varsity.co.uk/arts Andrew Catherine Spencer spends a day talking inspiration and reluctant photo-realism with the prize-winning painter and photographer

fter speaking to Andrew Tift for a “almost like Parkinson”, and it’s not a with them all the Tift, for one, always has his matter of minutes, it becomes bad comparison. After a brief phone memories that went mind bent on the next image he Aclear that he is one of those rare call, it’s easy to understand why people with them.” will paint. “When I’m walking people who would be happy to chat with from car manufacturers in Japan, to This attention to around, I always carry a camera. absolutely anyone. Interested and inter - Vietnam veterans and cowboys in New detail is reflected in I’m thinking visually all the esting, once he starts talking there’s no Mexico, have all opened their homes the execution of his time, when I’m watching TV, stopping him – moments into our con - and themselves up to this man. paintings. Although reading the newspaper, doing my versation he suddenly pulls himself up Together with conversation, “narra - he hesitates to class shopping, whatever, I’m always short, asking in a concerned voice, “Are tive objects” are a key element of Tift’s himself as a photore - looking for possible pictures.” It you getting all this? I know how I rattle portraiture. He is obsessed with “the alist, he acknowledges takes a while for the initial through things, so just let me know if things that people collect during their parallels with the ideas collected on these mental you need me to slow down.” Then he’s lifetime. They reflect and reinforce the style, and particularly sprees to reach the canvas. He off again, talking with infectious ease individual’s identity.” His portraits bris - with artists such as had “loads of ideas”, many of and enthusiasm about his painting and tle with personal odds and ends. “When Chuck Close. The pho - which he knows he’ll “never the people he paints. I painted Tony Benn it was great – we tographic quality of his get round to doing.” There’s a Fittingly, the piece which finally won style is strongest in the plan to do a series of portraits him the National Portrait Prize in triptych of Kitty Godley. at Glastonbury, and another 2006 evolved from a good old natter. ‘His portraits are a In painting her, Tift of people in old people’s In his triptych of Kitty Godley, the little like his way of wanted to achieve the homes. He is fascinated by daughter of Jacob Epstein and former effect of “the black and old people “just think of all their mem - wife of Lucian Freud, he “wanted to conversing: direct, to white camerawork on old TV interview ories and knowledge – everything’s catch the experience of conversation shows – when the camera goes right up about to be lost... There’s such a sense with someone, the feeling of being face the point, pared of all to the face and scrutinizes the flesh.” of frailty to them.” to face. In the middle image you can pretensions’ Despite this, Tift is a painter first and He stresses the importance of letting see her visibly thinking about what photographer second. “I use photogra - an idea “ferment for 4-5 months. she’s going to say next – I’m interest - phy as a sketchbook. It can be incredi - Because painting is so time-consuming ed in how people receive and absorb did the portrait in his house in Notting bly useful, especially in the case of sit - for me, I have to be really sure. I’m not information when talking.” Hill where he was surrounded by all his ters such as Lord Woolf, who don’t have what you could call a spontaneous artist His portraits are a little like his way knickknacks. Everything in that picture much time on their hands.” On being – you could even say I was contrived. of conversing: direct, to the point, pared has a story… on the mantelpiece is a questioned as to the difference between But that’s just my way.” The paintings of all pretensions. “I’m not really inter - pair of RAF wings that belonged to his paint and photography, he agrees that themselves can take anything up to ten ested in exposing the soul of the sitter brother who died in the war.” It is this the time and concentration demanded months, depending on size. Does he ever in my paintings. A lot of artists who link with memory that makes objects so by his precision painting fosters the tire of portraits? The answer is swift: paint portraits get swept up in this big important for Tift. He describes how intimacy with the sitter he desires to “No, never. Never, never, never. I can romantic notion and wrap themselves after the death of his grandparents he achieve. But it’s also that paint is sim - paint fifteen portraits and then start a up in semantics. I’m purely about the helped sort through their belongings: ply the medium for him. “People are landscape, but before I’ve even finished physical: I want to capture as objective “we went through all the objects that always saying that painting is dead, but the landscape I want to go back to por - a likeness as possible.” This objectivity they left behind, old combs and little it’s not going to go away so easily. It’s traits again.” is achieved through the conversation things like that, and even though they’d such a natural, instinctive thing to do – Tift has been able to support himself which he so delights in. “What I enjoy gone the objects were still there, and think of cavemen and wall paintings.” with his art ever since graduating. He most is going and spending time with refers to himself as “lucky”, but it’s diffi - people. When I was doing my MA I cult not to feel that his honesty, with his went around West Midland steel sitters and himself, has deservedly got foundries and painted pictures of the him where he is today. “You’ve got to be steel workers. I got to know them really true to yourself. Keep it real, as Noel well, and fourteen years later I’m still Gallagher would say,” he laughs. “I in touch with them.” think students often feel obliged to do The steel workers aren’t the only installation art or conceptual art, as if ones who have fallen for Tift’s no-non - they’ve been told that that’s where the sense charm – when painting Tony best art comes from.” Tift’s career may Benn the two “built up a great rapport have run parallel to the ups and downs – he still phones me to see how I’m Left: Tift of the Emins and Hirsts, but he has doing.” These relationships are a tes - with his “always worked very much on my own.” tament to the sympathetic intimacy current Artistic influences, briefly mentioned, portrait his portraits achieve. I ask him if any - of Lord are Van Eke and Holbein, and he one have ever refused his request to Woolf. speaks admiringly of Hockney and paint their portrait, but Tift is clearly Right Freud. At the end of the day, however, an artist who inspires trust. “I’ve and Tift is all about “painting one person, never had a problem with anybody, above, their memories and thoughts floating portraits anybody at all. It’s all about establish - from the around them.” If he’s almost Parkinson, ing confidence – you’ve just got to talk triptych his paintings are indeed “almost like to people.” At one point in our conver - of Kitty interviews. That’s when painting really sation, Tift describes himself as being Godley gets interesting.” Friday February 9 2007 Write for this section: varsity.co.uk/arts 01223 353 422 ARTS 19 Tift Write for this section: Friday February 9 2007 20 REVIEWS [email protected] varsity.co.uk/arts

VIEW FROM THE The Seagull ★★★★ GROUNDLINGS ADC

Tom ances. Several of the cast, particularly Bea Walker (Nina), inhabit their roles Kingsley so completely that it genuinely seems they are no longer acting, merely Thrills and spills speaking and moving with natural spontaneity. Walker’s breathy charm makes her Well shit me knickers. The view utterly believable as the naïvely hope - from here is pretty scary, let me tell ful actress in the first half, whilst in you. These are exciting times. the second half her tragically altered There’s never, ever been a thriller outlook is wrought with pathos. at the ADC before. There really Vivienne Storry (Arkadina) commands should have been. But, as if by the stage with an austere glamour and magic, there’s a terrifying comedy reveals the prismatic nature of called I’ll Be Back Before MID - Chekov’s protagonists in her subtle NIGHT curdling blood next week in lapses into compassion. She charges that very theatre. silence with her powerful gaze, Theatre is live. It’s all about the although occasionally there are experience. Interesting abstract moments where the lack of movement readings of a play are very clever, and dialogue are hyperbolically but it’d be stupid if they got in the extended. It takes courage to sustain way of feeling something. So silence on stage, but unfortunately the thrillers are perfect – they’re production occasionally enters into rewardingly difficult to stage, and uncomfortable territory in this yet tremendously exciting to watch. respect. As the struggling writer I could talk about Freud and the Konstantin (James Norton) cuts an uncanny and Aristotle and cathar - Masha’s narcissistic gloom sets the stark, beautifully slick set to the ethe - aptly pathetic figure, hunching and sis, but let’s just say it’s like a tone for Chekov’s The Seagull as she real lighting has been meticulously moving erratically across the stage, rollercoaster. You wouldn’t actually declares: “I am in mourning for my considered, and the effect is one of a yet Norton must be careful not to peak want to be chased by a ghost, or life”. Almost immediately we plunge professionally realized show. too soon in order that his mental strapped into a runaway mine into Hamlet-esque contemplation as Jones unearths the script’s central decline is convincing. train, but it’s a lot of fun imagining we are forced to consider how low life considerations without allowing them The seagull motif is beautifully exe - you might be. has to sink, how much suffering one to consume the play; there is always a cuted, mercurially shifting from a tan - More than a horror film, a stage heart can bear, before death becomes danger that The Seagull could come talizing vision of hope for Nina, to a thriller is wonderful because it’s preferable. Osh Jones’ production across as a dramatized sermon on the symbol sympathetic with her suffering actually happening live in front of seizes this cerebral intensity within a nature of creativity, yet this is skillful - in the fourth act. Visually stunning you. It’s like an elaborate magic few lines and sustains it impressively ly avoided. Instead, the cost of cre - throughout and cast to perfection, this trick. And you just watch and mar - throughout, whilst retaining an ele - ativity – the obsession, the compulsion production, if given time to settle, has vel at the way you laughed and ment of humour with some excellent – and the illusory idyll of celebrity are the potential to be truly outstanding. screamed at the same time even comic timing. Every aspect, from the brought out in some superb perform - Sarah Wilkinson though you were sitting in a crowd - ed room with 200 other people. It’s weird. In a good way. For such a technical medium, there’s got to be total complicity ★★★★ between actors and crew. Everyone’s Someone Who’ll Watch Over Me had to memorise all the sound tracks so they know exactly when to press Corpus Playroom the button or jump out from the trapdoor. It turns out that with hor - ror, it’s not that hard to get it right, Frank McGuinness’s Someone Who’ll but it’s so easy to get it wrong. Watch Over Me, penned in 1992, is Less is more. Music should be as truly relevent to today’s political cli - simple as possible – keep it to two mate. Dealing with three hostages in a notes (think of the Jaws theme cell in Lebanon, the play revolves tune), or even just one (the Psycho around their day to day existence and theme). And the magic soundtrack their battle for humanity against an formula turns out to be 25 seconds indefinite enemy – a battle which is at of scary music, 2.5 seconds of silence the forefront of our minds with the ever and then an unexpected BANG. rising death toll in Iraq. That’s stuff we’ve learnt. But In Sarah Blissett’s production, the con - there’s still more that we’ll learn cepts of humanity, patriotism and love when it’s finally on stage. Including are critically examined and destroyed by the scary fact that if it goes wrong, each of the protagonists. Though all three we’ve no lofty purpose to hide actors hold their own, it is not until the behind. If it screws up, we’re entrance of Peter Baxter’s vulnerable and screwed. Good thing the play starts naïve Michael that the play truly thrives. on Valentine’s Day. From this point on, the audience is ating the tragic elements of the script; opening scene is awkward and uncon - But oh look – with our cast of old moved, frightened and amused by turns, though this show is at times very funny. vincing. This production however has Footlights hands we’ve only gone as McGuinness’s work effectively avoids Whether it’s at Edward mimicking poise and punch: when Mark Maughan, and made things harder for our - predictability: when a character wants to Michael’s upper-class English accent or as Adam, sings Amazing Grace, the audi - selves by adding loads of jokes. cry, he forces himself to laugh; when talk - at anecdotes about Immac and chiffon ence is fixed. Getting the audience to scream one ing of escape each retreats further into scarves, laughter closely follows tears As political theatre, Someone Who’ll minute and laugh the next. Just his imaginary world. throughout this play. Watch Over Me does not disappoint. By don’t get caught in between and Ironically, it is through these fantasies That is not to say the show is perfect – the end of the play, the title’s initial prom - start hiccuping. So you get two of that the pathos of their impossible reali - at two hours without an interval it’s hard ise of faith and confidence, has become a the best emotions for the price of ty hits home. This small taste is to tell whether the actors or the audience desperate plea for help. one, and we can have our cake and extremely powerful, efficiently accentu - are more drained by the end, and the Elizabeth Davis eat it. Come along and have some. Friday February 9 2007 Write for this section: varsity.co.uk/arts 01223 362 497 REVIEWS 21

Notes on a Scandal ★★★★ ➡ RWD FFWD ➡ Dir: Richard Eyre

There were moments watching Notes on a Scandal that I wanted to leave the cine - ma. It isn’t that it’s bad. Rather, it’s so good, so intense and so uncomfortable that it is almost too much. The last time I felt like this in a film was when I saw Closer which, not at all surprisingly, was Liz Bradshaw and also written by the supremely talented Richard Braude Patrick Marber. The two leads, Cate Blanchett and the British institution that is Dame Judi Dench, devour his tight FFWD ➡ script with an appetite which is Plan B, The Junction, 12/2, £.8.50 enthralling to watch. East London MC offers tales of gritty Dench plays Barbara Covett, a wizened, urban life over acoustic strummin’. bitter history teacher, whose loneliness Compellingly dark at times, this unfortu - and disappointment with life oozes from nately won’t be as funny as the Eminem every pore. Her pupils loathe her, but she comparisons suggest. If your ‘mama’ is has the respect that is attributed to also trapped in a relationship with a women who don’t suffer fools gladly. scrounging crackhead this might help you ship takes on a terrifying dynamic when out loud. Moreover, the caricatures of through, though. Sheba begins an affair with a 15 year old their fellow teachers are well observed ‘You will leave the pupil - when Barbara finds out, a twisted and touching, and the supporting cast. Bloc Party , The Corn Exchange, 13/2, £15 set of events ensue which destroys both Andrew Simpson as Sheba’s adolescent Yes, it does seem like Bloc Party play cinema feeling women, and those around them, all of lover (a career highlight, surely, before it’s here more often than John Reid’s sup - emotionally exhausted’ which Barbara ‘notes’ in her series of even begun?) is notable, if eclipsed by the posed to have screwed up at the Home macabre diaries. tour de force of Blanchett and Dench. The Office, but this will actually be fun. The You will leave the cinema feeling emotion - only disappointment is Bill Nighy as combination of alcohol consumption and Enter Sheba Hart (Blanchett); upper- ally and physically exhausted - the power Sheba’s husband; he is, as always, simply the Corn Ex’s dodgy acoustics mean you class, bohemian, beautiful, artistic; and of the two lead performances draws you Bill Nighy - receding hair-line, crumpled probably won’t be able to make out the woman Barbara has been waiting for. inexorably in, and the audience collective - clothes and a latent sexiness without Okereke’s awkward and ill-judged/frankly They enter into a friendship, based super - ly exhaled as the credits rolled. There is much depth. According to the film press, embarrassing lyrics on A Weekend in the ficially on Sheba’s complete inability to relief, mercifully, in the wry humour that 2007 is the year of the female film star; City, so you can just dance. And let’s face control a class, but undercurrents of Marber weaves so well into the script, and and this challenging, superbly-acted film it, they’re going to play ‘Banquet’ and Barbara’s obsession cast a feeling of doom which Dench in particular delivers with a certainly endorses that. ‘Helicopter’, and it’s probably worth it just over the film from the outset. The friend - dry wit that had the audience laughing Rachael Boston for that.

Indigo Girls , The Junction, 14/2, £20 Listenable folk-rock duo, somehow appro - priate for Valentine’s Day, the official holi - Red Stripe Compilation ★★ day of pretending you’re in The OC . As long as there are some fairy lights and Various Artists perhaps a white tent then I’m sure those twangling guitars and over complex yet Considering that there are numerous imagination”? The wailing punk-rock and out of tune, and Under the home spun lyrics will all make sense. bands vying for attention on this com - of disaffected youth, aspiring above all Streetlamp used piano to good effect, pilation, most of them sound striking - to alienation, is ironically common - despite being a little frenetic. Kyla ➡ RWD ly similar, setting their sights between place. Was anyone going to attempt Bowen-la Grange was lovely, sighing Greenday and The Darkness. The Red something different? an earnest, angsty, yet composed Dan Sartain The Loft, 1/2 Stripe Compilation 2007 allegedly fea - Thankfully, the answer was yes. acoustic track with vocals much like Mr Sartain possesses the slickest of hair tures the pick of the Cambridge music Fugazirum made a welcome move into The Indelicates, and The Hot Bang and the roughest of riffs. An American scene, picked out from the beery spon - funk and soul, that was impossible to used an exciting range of instruments, pupil of the Wild Billy Childish school, his sors of Cambridge venue the Junction. resist dancing to. Also, a female vocal - although their entry sounded more authentic Alabama accent, sometimes Some, such as Kill the DJ and the bril - ist seemingly discourages her band- like a jamming session than a com - exaggerated in mockery, may not inspire liantly titled mates from just pounding the hell out pleted song. It seems there is innova - thoughts of the more sophisticated rock - WolvesStoleMyChildhood, are very lis - of their guitars: Flamboyant Bella tion and talent here, albeit often in ers, but his lyrics had a gorgeous preci - tenable, but to quote from Me Against were what The Scissor Sisters would embryonic form. sion. Sartain, looking somewhat lost in the World’s entry, “do we just lack sound like if they were 16 years old Becky Varley-Winter just t-shirt and jeans next to a bassist whose beard made him looks like either a Hell’s Angel or an Orthodox priest, truly is the Tarantino of music – an awkward ★★★ underdog with a natural gift for cool. A ONLINE: Here and Now welcome surprise was the thumpingly Live music at Kettle’s Yard danceable duo of Two Tears, like the ➡ White Stripes but with the sexes Live Review - Jamie T swapped. ➡ Theatre - Henry Eliot on Given its image (nice tune becomes out- video 3 M’Lord , a combination of still of-tune) ‘new’ music might not be your images and guitar, and the spellbinding DUPLO, Kambar, 1/2 serious drama in first port of call on a Sunday lunchtime, musicianship of an improvising quartet Round two from the indie-gypsy-electro- musicals but, if Kettle’s Yard’s efforts are anything of violin, viola, piano and trombone in rave that is rapidly accumulating stature to go by, then maybe we should give it Maybe Lunchtime . Unfortunately, many in the otherwise-barren nightlife of more of a chance. Showcasing recent of the items suffered from the jam- Cambridge students averse to Cindies’ works by some of Cambridge’s student packed clutter of the setting (I could read meat-marketry. The dancefloor, after a composers, Here and Now was as new as the string quartet’s music from my seat). quiet start, was rammed and stayed it gets, with a diversity wide selection of Still, what was left was enough to con - sweatily so from eleven onwards, as pieces on offer (from video to string quar - vince me that the next concert (new fifties rock’n’roll jostled with harsh elec - tet). Inevitably, some pieces worked bet - music for clarinet, coming on February tro and Balkan folk. Laughing gas and ter than others, but highlights included 18) will be well worth a listen. glow sticks were order of the night and, Cevanne Horrocks-Hopayian’s opening Luke Rogers fuck me, was it a good one.

Want us to list your event? Friday February 9 2007 22 LISTINGS Email: [email protected] varsity.co.uk

FILM THEATRE MUSIC OTHER GOING OUT K Children of Men Will Oldham (+ Scout Club Goo with Foals + E Arts Picturehouse Niblett) The Whip + Maps +

E Fri 9 - Sat 10 Feb, 23.15 The Junction Artrocker DJs So the title isn’t exactly inspir- Tuesday February 13th, Junction, 21.00-03.00 £7 ing, and Clive Owen has a huge 20.30, £17.50 While students in other uni- W face. But Cuaron’s stunning Don’t weep over Bloc Party versities travel miles to see adaptation of P.D. James’ novel being sold out. Weep bands they’ve never heard of, E convincingly Beirutises instead, over the beautiful here we keel over and vomit

H London, plunging the viewer whiskey-soaked vocals and when we get past Parker’s into a pitiless, pessimistic death-obssessed lyrical mat- Piece. This selection of math- T vision of a future quasi-totali- ter of Will Oldham, a.k.a punk, New Order-esque new- tarian Britain - Wyndham Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy, the alt. Henri Gaudier-Brzeska wave and post-rock provides F Lewis-meets Orwell-meets Full folk legend. Touring for his Kettle’s Yard, Tuesdays - as good a justification to move Metal Jacket. Despite a some- latest LP The Letting Go, Sundays, 11.30-17.00, free outside Cambridge’s heavily O times cumbersome script, this The Seagull the Bonnie ‘Prince’ will be Just go alright? Nothing else in defended Green Zone as any. is an ambitious, epic film - an ADC, Tue 6 Feb - Sat 10 Feb filling the Junction with his your life is of particular worth. Followed by Artrocker and

K intelligent, pummeling block- Last chance to book for one of this mournful eccentricities, and It’ll only cut down on the time Club Goo DJs playing a mix of buster. term’s best productions. You single-handedly making up you normally spend pretending to indie/electro, this Club Goo C read literary theory in Clowns.

I All films showing at Arts Picturehouse might have to stab someone to get for the mediocrity of the rest night should be enough to pull unless stated otherwise.. of Cambridge’s live music you away from the infernal Also not all films being shown are listed. a place. But that’s okay, the ADC’s

P www.kettlesyard.co.uk for more. seats are red calendar. flames of your College ents Munich (Caius) 20.30 Someone Who’ll Watch Over Me The Foals + The Whip + Maps Emma Pol Soc & Cam Student Shut Up and Dance Children of Men 23.15 Corpus Playroom, 19.00 The Junction, 21.00-03.00 £7 Lib Dems: Jo Swinson MP Union, 21.00-01.00, £3 Climates 16.30, 21.00 The Seagull ADC, 19.45 Modern Jazz - Django Bates & Emma, 13.30. youngest MP in the Generator (Indie) Last King of Scotland 16.40 the Soren Norbo Trio House of Commons, Lib Dem Kambar, 21.00-03.00, £3 RI The Mikado Arts Theatre, 19.45 F For Your Consideration Kettle’s Yard, 19.00, £12 Shadow Sec of State for Scotland Rodeo 19.00, 21.10, 23.20 Post-Mortem ADC, 23.00 ‘fine improvisation’. don’t pretend gives talk. Cheese at Queen’s after queen’s, 21.00-01.00, £3 mate yeah? YEAH? you know enough jazz to scoff. cheese, cowboys, suffering Children of Men 23.15 Someone Who’ll Watch Over Me Ether State + Now He Sleeps, Cambridge and the World of Hed Kandi 9 Science Guildhall, 11.00, £4 Fez, 21.00-03.00, £8/£10 Climates 16.30, 21.00 Corpus Playroom, 19.00 Now He Sings + The Hot Bang This exhibition will explore Last King of Scotland 16.40 The Seagull ADC, 19.45 The Junction Shed, 19.30, £5 funky house, broken men For Your Consideration Cambridge’s scientific heritage. Insomnia SAT The Mikado Arts Theatre, 19.45 hot bang for your buck No prior knowledge of science 19.00, 21.10, 23.20 Queen’s, 21.00-01.00, £3 Post-Mortem ADC, 23.00 is required. Just a long, long Notes on a Scandal 19.10, 21.20 attention span house and dance

Prestige (John’s) 19.00, 22.00 Patrick Wolf No Sweat Action Week: Open The Sunday Service 10 A Very Long Engagement Meeting Bun Shop, 20.00, free Club Twenty-Two The Junction, SOLD OUT No Sweat aims to secure a living (Robinson) 20.00 Last Gang in Town: Pirate 22.00-01.00, £3 The History Boys (Christ’s) wage, safe working conditions and UN Radio DJs the vietnam war S 20.00, 22.30 independent trade unions for Punk/Ska/Psychobilly, 19.30- workers worlwide. This an open Venus 18.45 planning meeting - hoist your flag Notes on a Scandal 19.10, 21.20 23.00, free free free Black Book 16.20 you could prepare for Will Oldham by Blood Red Shoes Portland Biological Society Talks: Sir Fat Poppadaddys 11 Climates 16.30, 21.00 listening to his entire oeuvre of death Greg Winter Pharmacology Fez, 21.00 - 03.00, £4 Arms, £5 proficient boy/girl call Lecture Theatre, 20.00. talking Last King of Scotland 16.40 folk, alone in a dark room. that’ll beat response heavy punk-pop pleasingly inoffensive, like a your mid-term blues about antibodies to startup three-legged Fabian Society ON For Your Consideration Plan B The Junction, £8.50 M 19.00, 21.10 companies and therapeutics. like pub crawl come on, he’s awful isn’t he the ‘plastics’ line in The Graduate Notes on a Scandal 19.10, 21.20 extended over an hour Venus 18.45 Black Book 16.20 The Collector ADC, 19.00 Will Oldham + Scout Niblett ‘WE the Moderns’ - Gaudier Funk Da Bar Emma, 21.00- 12 Climates 16.30, 21.00 Oklahoma! Cam Arts Theatre, 19.45 Kettle’s Yard, Tuesdays - 12.00, £3 The Junction, £17.50 Last King of Scotland 16.40 Hang on Mr. Bugson ADC, 19.45 GO GO GO GO GO GO GO. go Sundays, 11.30-17.00, free Precious* LBGT Night For Your Consideration A Number Corpus Playroom, 21.30 despite the tragic brevity of his club 22, 22.00-02.00, £3 TUE Bloc Party Corn Exchange career, Gaudier contributed 19.00, 21.10 Footlights Smoker ADC, 23.00 Ebonics Fez, 22.00-03.30, £2 SOLD OUT greatly to the development of Notes on a Scandal 19.10, 21.20 modern sculpture. bring theory Kinki Ballare, 21.00-02.00, £3 Venus 18.45 Black Book 16.20 The Collector ADC, 19.00 Goose The Soul Tree, £5.50 New Fitz Exhibition: No Rumboogie 13 Climates 16.30, 21.00 No Exit Trinity Hall, 19.30 Indigo Girls The Junction, £20 Straight Lines 1963-2007 is killing Cambridge Last King of Scotland 16.40 Hang on Mr. Bugson ADC, 19.45 and at a fraction of this price, Fitzwilliam Museum, free 21.00-02.00, £3 ED For Your Consideration A Number Corpus Playroom, 21.30 you could buy several robots exhibition of 20 of distinguished W 19.00, 21.10 Footlights Smoker ADC, 23.00 and train them to play identical contemporary artist Maggi Notes on a Scandal 19.10, 21.20 I’ll Be Back Before Midnight! ADC, coffee table anthems Hambling’s powerful drawings Venus 18.45 22.30 Boys Don’t Cry (John’s) 21.00 The Collector ADC, 19.00 Treasures of Today Urbanite 14 Romeo & Juliet (Robinson) No Exit Trinity Hall, 19.30 Fitzwilliam Museum, free Club Twenty-Two, 21.00- 21.00 Hang on Mr. Bugson ADC, 19.45 when you end up flagging up 02.30, £3 Goldsmith’s collections of silver HU For Your Consideration A Number Corpus Playroom, 21.30 T 19.00, 21.10 Footlights Smoker ADC, 23.00 from the past two decades you I’ll Be Back Before Midnight! ADC, know things are drawing to a Notes on a Scandal 19.10, 21.20 close 15 Venus 18.45 22.30 CAMBRIDGE STUDENTS AGAINST THE ARMS I’ll Be Back Before N TRADE (CSAAT) DEMONSTRATION Midnight! ADC Saturday Feb 10 Wed 14th - Sat 17th O Feb, 22.30. From most of Say no to college investment in major British arms the people who brought O companies. You don’t have to be a pacifist; you just need you the Footlights

S to accept that the arms trade needs regulation, and that shows CIRCUS, GROW the current sale of weapons to known human rights UP and FAUST THE abusers is a travesty. By cutting their ties with these PANTO comes a pant- G companies, colleges can send a powerful message to crappingly enjoyable governments and corporations that reform and respect smasher of a show.With N

I for human rights is needed. 80's dance music. See www.scaryplay.com

M ASSEMBLE >> Guildhall, 13.00 for the trailer. MARCH>> Through town, past John’s & Trinity And wee yourself with

O RALLY>> Senate House Lawn, national & laughter/anomie. local speakers, 13.30 C # for internship opportunities # 1 Don’t miss the deadline for our Summer Internship Programme

for Global 11th February 2007 Banking & '/, +,(+204, -57 (662>04. 95 54, 5- 9/, 3589 ,=*0904. Markets ,497,67,4,:70(2 (4+ -57<(7+!9/04104. )(418 08 -(89 (6675(*/04." '5 +08*5;,7 5: <09/04 %25)(2 $(4104. &(71,98 ;0809 5:7 .7(+:(9, <,)809, (4+ (662> 45<# 1 www.rbs.com/gbmgraduates

www.rbs.com/gbmgraduates &(1, 09 /(66,4 Fashion editors: Lauren Smith, Iona Carter and Bea Wilford Friday February 9 2007 24 FASHION Email: [email protected] varsity.co.uk/fashion I’M IN A DANCING MOOD, SO I HOPE YOU’VE GOT ON YOUR DANCING SHOES HE IS T IS TH

Clothes stylists own. Modelled by Flo MacDonald. Styled by Iona Carter. Photographed by Michael Derringer. Shot in Kambar Friday February 9 2007 Write for this section: varsity.co.uk/fashion 01223 353 422 FASHION 25

RIP WHAT YOU SEW

On the half-hearted

“That’s the dress of the season,” I said over the kitchen table, E pointing at a black satin Stella McCartney shift dress. “Really?” asked my housemate, as she E stopped undressing her new W C issue of Vogue. “It ticks every Y box for spring,” I announced, A keen to show that I was getting W a grip on this season’s elusive N trends. “It’s got dramatic volume in those puffy ¾ length sleeves; it’s ever so short, which is a key factor for eveningwear; it’s got a A body con thing going with its more clingy form – and you know how tricky it is to hit the volume trend and the body con D one!” But my housemate did not seem swayed, so I added, “it’s even gem-coloured”. Puzzled, my housemate lowered her head to the glossy paper. “It’s black.” “Look closer,” I cajoled, tilting her head closer to the catwalk GET image, “there’s purple in that black – gem-like purple, so Prada wasn’t the only one with gem-like silks. This is a key YOURSELF trend.” My housemate, way past bored, replied “nye.” As admirably consistent as TOGETHER McCartney is about her animal rights views, her collections are often done by halves, and yet not SHAKE half-hearted. McCartney, unlike McQueen, will take a concept and downplay it, until it is com - SHAKE pletely wearable. My housemate probably wasn’t as impressed by the dress as she was by a fresh- SHAKE flower-stuffed McQueen ball- gown. McCartney’s was classic, pretty, modern, and timeless – a SHAKE series of hackneyed fashion superlatives. Last May Week I asked some - one out on a date – the following term. Realising it was a stupid idea to make a date four months GET UR FREAK ON in advance, I suggested meeting sooner. Then I received a Facebook message, “Meeting for a drink would be nice, but maybe Last month, All You Can Eat, “this decade's dress up in “crazy wigs, crazy ski jackets, quite what it is. The clubs of east London we can leave it 'til next term?” equivalent of Taboo” according to i-D mag - spazzy specs” (particularly without lenses). do not signal the return of rave culture, per We never did meet up. I was too azine, celebrated its first birthday. The aes - Young designers such as Henry Holland, se, but the re-emergence of flamboyant and embarrassed for being keen, and thetic of the impossibly fashionable club rumour has it, are thinking of crossing the self-consciously ridiculous clubbing on a the person turned out to be scene that has been aptly coined ‘New pond to New York where ‘new rave’ is still level not seen since the late 80s, developing involved in a game of tonsil- Rave’ seems poised to enter the main - embryonic, and just a cursory glance over out of older nights like Kashpoint. These hockey with someone else – the stream: Grazia highlighted it as a top clubs embrace the world of art and fashion, human equivalent of a tame trend for 2007 in December and the are frequented by the likes of Gareth McCartney LBD – beautiful and Sunday Times’ Style magazine covered it ‘Styles are moving Pugh, Marios Schwab and Naomi safe. That made me feel like a in November. The spring 2007 collections Campbell, and their regulars are most like - stuffed floral ball gown – in a seemed to be nodding their heads towards away from the Cassette ly to be seen at last week's Giles Deacon bad way. For Valentine’s Day we all things futuristic, neon and metallic. Playa uniform of neon Party or Pop Magazine's Christmas cele - all dream of grand romantic ges - Cassette Playa featured in the MAN - brations. This is a world that is not declin - tures, but sometimes, especially Topman Design show and the iconic House and day-glo’ ing by any means- during the course of this where drastic fashion trends are of Holland T-shirts reading ‘Uhu Gareth year it spawned the establishment of clubs concerned, playing it safe and Pugh’ and ‘Get your freak on Giles Deacon’ photos from nights such as BoomBox like Durrr or Hot Boy Dancing Spot. In nonchalant to be stylish. It’s have become hugely oversubscribed. Yet shows that styles are moving away from reality, it is moving away from the shackles fashion, and not style’s domain although it seems as if ‘New Rave’ is on the the Cassette Playa uniform of neon and of what the press has decided defines it. to be exciting, risky, passionate, brink of high street takeover, the word on day-glo. The high street is meanwhile Dominated as the ‘new rave’ scene is by and spontaneous – and, as ever, the scene suggests otherwise. Super Super , ready to be hit by Christopher Kane's neon artistic and fashionable gay men, the it’s hard to wear the thread that the ‘in-house publication’ of the movement offerings in Topshop. The point is that the clothes they wear is always bound to is both fashionable and stylish. has sunk to sending out messages on NME’s keen desire to name and thereby change at least a season or two before the Benj Ohad-Seidler myspace asking “you and your crew” to own the developing movement has clouded lumbering giants of international fashion. Food & Drink editor: George Grist Friday February 9 2007 26 FOOD & DRINK Email: [email protected] varsity.co.uk/food

THE RESTAURANT COLUMN Your Heart’s Luke Thorne Fitzbillies ★★★★

Something different in Cambridge? Pah, Cindies every Wednesday is Desire fine. But, if you are looking for a restaurant that seems unique to Cambridge, where do you start? After deciding against the carnage »George Grist forgets chocolates and oysters this of The Mahal fairly speedily, next on the list was Fitzbillies. Just beyond King’s Parade, it Valentine’s, and gets straight to the heart of the matter has a long standing reputation as a bakery; even my dad remembers it from forty years ago. The restau - o here’s the deal: buy a heart, cook it heart stew was in fact delicious - offally rant is a more recent venture but so it doesn’t look like a heart any good, if you will. But frankly, it wasn’t - it shares similar acclaim. Upon Smore, feed it to people on a RAG had the look of a bad curry and the smell entering, one is greeted not by a blind date without telling them what it is of dog food, but it wasn’t all that bad. We smiley waitress, but by a sign ask - and ask them how it tastes. Then, tell could at least persuade people to give it a ing you to switch off your mobile. them what it actually was. Simple, almost go, even if they were going to chuck it Although ignored by most, it sets satanically cruel, but what better way to back up again. Taking it down to the bar, the tone for a more intimate occa - celebrate the run up to Valentine’s Day? there were a few takers, and the initial sion than might be expected in the None of this poncy, romantic guff; no reaction was pretty mixed; the unanimous bustle of the day-to-day eatery. meals, no flowers, no chocolates - just a opinion of the night was that lamb heart The interior is surprisingly small, boiled lamb’s heart cooked up with a bit of yet doesn’t feel crowded; we were onion and tomato. able to take the second table at It’s harder than you might think to get “If a stranger came up to 7.30 pm. But watch out for the a heart in Cambridge, but our search draught by the door. came to an end at Andrews Butchers, just me offering a ‘mystery The menu isn’t extensive (there down the road from the Grafton Centre. are only four starters and six Mr Andrews, a cheery soul, seemed meat casserole’, I’d be mains) but it covers sufficient bases understanding of our plight, adding to provide a good range of options. “These ones are pretty large, you know” none too keen; The soup of the day, tomato and as he pointed at a row of sizeable, grue - basil, was homely, the tomato’s some-looking lumps at the far side of his thankfully, others were sweetness being delicately overrid - counter. “Brave people,” he added as we more inclined to give it a den by the basil and presented left the shop, “if you’re going to eat that.” alongside a welcome and suitably Little did he know that we had no inten - go” soggy cut of bread. The scallops tion of eating it ourselves, not even in were succulent and more substan - some kind of misguided spirit of good tial than many shellfish courses, sportsmanship. On to Sainsbury’s, and, is chewy, which was no real surprise - it’s nicely set off by the crunch of a hardly spurred on to create anything a pretty tough piece of meat. One poor green salad, but without obscuring palatable (that’d take away half the fun), volunteer started by saying “that’s not any of the flavour. we picked up some onions, some tins of too bad actually”, before moving on to The main course options included tomatoes, and an Oxo cube for that nice “tastes a little bit like liver” and perhaps pasta, but this appeared to be a meaty finish. inevitably spitting it out in the bin, with token option for picky eaters, as the Raw heart is horrible. It smells a bit the damning phrase “I’ve changed my rest of the menu was dominated by fishy and, aside from all the tubes and mind - that’s rank”. Surprisingly, only traditional meat dishes. The duck sinew sticking out of it, it seeps blood at three people in the evening had to follow was extremely well cooked. It was every opportunity. Of course, we didn’t his lead of spitting out their chunk, which delightfully tender with a slight have the slightest idea of how to cook it, I’d say is a resounding success. hint of lingering pink left in it; its so we boiled it whole for a little while. We moved on to the Cindies queue, and full flavour brought out and compli - The water turned a shade of green, and it took surprisingly little persuasion to mented by the orange salad the aroma of dead animal wafted about get some of the better-natured folk stand - accompaniment. Whilst size clear - the kitchen. We made the schoolboy error ing there to have a little taste. If a ly wasn’t one of the chef’s priori - of popping away to check our e-mails stranger came up to me offering a “mys - ties, this didn’t matter at all, the tery meat casserole”, I’d be none too quality was certainly high enough keen; thankfully, others were more to warrant the price. The wine “It’d be a great story to inclined to give it a go. When asked what menu was extensive and the they thought it tasted like, there was a Cabernet Shiraz was certainly a say that the heart stew varied response - liver was probably the step up from usual house stan - winner of the night, but kidney and giz - dards. The desert menu shows the was in fact delicious - zards also got a look in. baker’s influence - the Chelsea offally good, if you will. One brave blind dater, when asked by bun ice cream, trading on the his female companion why on earth he reknown of being the Fitzbillies’ But frankly, it wasn’t” would taste the concoction, said that he speciality, is clearly a home cre - was hungry because he hadn’t eaten in ation and all the better for it. ages, and could probably eat a whole Straight out: it’s good. The por - while we left it to cook, and, returning plateful. tions aren’t huge, but the standard into the kitchen, a foaming mixture of As for its effect, well, we’re not able to makes up for that. The service isn’t blood and hot water had escaped the vouch for its effectiveness as an aphrodisi - the fastest either, but it seems to fit saucepan and was making its wicked way ac, but at least it could have provided in with the atmosphere. It’s not fast across the floor; it was one of those much-needed filler for awkward silences. N O

food, but it’s good food cooked well. moments which really makes you wonder S And while this particularly hearty stew D I

It’s a place to come and spend an why you bothered cooking a heart in the V probably won’t be causing any shockwaves A D

evening with good company, enjoy - first place. After a bit of a mop-up, we - in the day-to-day world of Cambridge food, R ing some of the best traditional chopped up the heart into bitesize chunks E it’s worth bearing in mind that offal is a C N

cooking Cambridge has to offer. But and chucked it in a frying pan with the E cheap, healthy alternative to the standard P

with main courses from £16 to £18, it vegetables and that all-important Oxo S steaks and chicken breasts, and could N A

won’ t ever be an everyday option. cube, and left the mixture to cook. L probably be the focus of quite a tasty dish Y

It’d be a great story to say that the D in slightly more capable hands than ours. Friday February 9 2007 Write for this section: varsity.co.uk/food 01223 353 422 FOOD & DRINK 27

»Or if you’d prefer not to do the washing up, Varsity has trawled the city’s restaurants to find out what this year’s lovebirds have in store

Valentine’s Day is, was and always will be cials on the night - the highlights are proba - Rupert Brooke Inn. One of my favourite an absolute rip-off. It’s one of the only bly the braised lamb shank main and the restaurants in the area, they’ve put on an nights in the year when restaurants can traditional strawberries and cream accomplished three course meal price at hike their prices right up and get away favourite for desert; this three course menu £29.95 a head - reassuringly expensive, but with it, safe in the knowledge that hoardes is priced at £24.95 per person. not bank-breakingly so. Starters include of hungry, inamorous people will be on the Fitzbillies really trumps the competition home-cured salmon with a horseradish lookout to impress their other half. for price, but you can bet that their £42.95 cream dressing and a pressed ham hock and There’s no point in arguing, and short of menu will push all the right buttons in baby leek terrine; mains include rump of feeding your partner a cooked lamb’s terms of quality. The four course menu lamb and pan-fried red mullet with braised heart (ahem...), you may as well just take includes a sweetcorn and basil soup appetis - fennel and new potatoes. Finished off with a out your wallet and sign over your over - er, and a choice of scallops, fillet steak, duck warm chocolate pudding and a moonlight draft to whichever place you tempts you and salmon for the subsequent courses. For walk back to college, this would be a win - To the most. To help you part with your money, desert, the highlight is surely the “lover’s ning way to celebrate the evening. Va we’ve gathered together a selection of plate”, an shortbread and chocolate affair If cost really is an issue, Pizza Express rsity special Valentine’s Day restaurant deals in and Caffe Uno are offering menus priced at Valentin one place. £17.95 and £19.95 respectively. Pizza e A solid option would be Café Rouge, the “They also include a Express offers its Valentine’s Day cus - popular French bistro chain. They’re doing tomers a cocktail before a pretty run-of-the- a three course meal for £23.95 per person, glass of Disaronno for mill selection of its usual dishes, including Il with such starters as salmon rilettes and Padrino, a pizza topped with chicken, toma - duck terrine, and beef, salmon and chicken ‘your partner’ - toes and roasted Italian vegetables. Caffe options for main course. To finish, they are Uno pushes the boat out slightly more in offering the usual tarty patisserie-type theoretically a romantic terms of food, with a nice looking roasted fayre that you’d expect, including a gesture but in practice a cod main or a heartier 8oz sirloin steak. meringue, white chocolate and raspberry They also include a glass of Disaronno for roulade. It’s not a bad menu for a reason - miserly trick to turn a “your partner”; theoretically a romantic able price, and is definitely worth consider - gesture but in practice a miserly trick to ing if the food’s to your tastes. Brown’s have slightly bigger profit” turn over a slightly bigger profit. Strada thoughtfully introduced a £15 two-course isn’t doing a Valentine’s menu at all, making deal for cash-strapped (or stingy) lovebirds, it one of the cheaper options for the night. but it’s only available before 6 o’ clock - and which would end the meal well; if you can But if you really can’t stretch to any of Varsity suggests that a Valentine’s Day afford it, go for it. But even if you can, these suggestions, you could always wait lunch is only to be attempted by the super- £22.50 for half a bottle of champagne seems until the following evening, when you’ll get smooth amongst us. For the more conven - a little excessive. the same food at half the price - as “our tional evening diner, they’ve pulled out a An alternative to this would be a walk to Graham” from mid-nineties TV show Blind standard menu, along with promised spe - Grantchester along the river, to visit the Date might have said, the choice is yours. CAMBRIDGE GREEK PLAY

Following the runaway success of the produc- tion of Oedipus Rex in 2004, the next Cambridge Greek Play in October 2007 will be Medea by Euripides, directed by Annie Castledine (performed in the original ancient Greek, with surtitles). The dates of the performance are 10th-13th October in the Cambridge Arts Theatre. The first casting session for two Assistant Directors will be held on 17th February in the Walters Room, Selwyn, at 2pm. This post offers a great opportunity to work alongside Annie Castledine and the choreographer Clive Mendus, both from the Theatre de Complicite. We are looking particularly for students who want to go on to work professionally in the theatre, especially those people interested in directing. On 22nd February at 2-5pm in the Drama Studio, English Faculty, Annie Castledine wants to meet everyone who is interested in taking part in, or helping with, the play. A prior knowledge of Classical Greek is not a requirement for actors. There will be further casting workshops and follow-up auditions on 23rd Feb in the Selwyn Diamond (2-5pm) and on 24th Feb in the Drama Studio, English Faculty (2-5pm). Anyone interested in directing, acting or helping back- stage with the play can contact Dr Rupert Thompson, Selwyn College ([email protected]) for further details. See also the Greek Play website: www.classics.cam.ac.uk/faculty/greekplay.

Edinburgh Festival 2007

Solve your accommodation problems by calling

Carole Smith / Anne Goring on 01620 810 620. k Email: [email protected] or [email protected] u

www.festivalflats.net . o No one does cinema like c grafton centre • cambridge .

Friday 9 Feb to Thurs 15 Feb

HUGH GRANT and DREW BARRY- ARTHUR AND THE INVISIBLES (U) y MORE in MUSIC AND LYRICS (1h55) (NFT) Daily 10.10 12.40 14.55 (PG) (2h05) (NFT) Daily 10.00 BLOOD DIAMOND (15) (2h45) Fri-Wed t 12.30 15.00 17.30 20.00 Fri/Sat 11.00* 14.10* (Not Sun) Daily 17.20* 20.40* Late 22.30 (Not Tues) w

CHARLOTTES WEB (U) (2h) THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS (12a) i (NFT) Daily 10.30 13.00 15.30 (2h20) Fri-Tues 17.55 20.45 Fri/Sat Late 23.35 e 18.00 20.20 BABEL (15) (2h45) Fri/Sat Late 22.40 n

ROCKY BALBOA (12a) (2h05) Fri/Sat Late s EPIC MOVIE (12a) (1h50) (NFT) -

23.20 l 10.20 12.20 14.40 17.00 19.10

NODDY AND THE ISLAND ADVEN- l 21.20 Fri/Sat Late 23.30 TURE (U) (1h) Sat Only 10.30 r a HANNIBAL RISING (18) (2h20) (NFT) Daily 12.00 14.50 17.50 Subtitled screening: BLOOD DIAMOND 20.50 Fri/Sat Late 23.40 (15) (2h45) Sunday 11th February 14.10* e Tuesday 6th February 20.40* h a DREAMGIRLS (12a) (2h30) (NFT) Daily t 12.15 15.10 18.10 21.10 (Not Wed/Thurs) *Audio description is available on these performances – please ask at the Box Office for details NOTES ON A SCANDAL (15) (1h55) t i (NFT) Daily 11.30 14.00 16.20 18.40 21.00 v s

book now on 08712 240 240 or online at www.myvue.com i v Friday February 9 2007 Chief Sports Editor: Tom Marriott varsity.co.uk/sport Call us on 01223 353 422 SPORT & PUZZLES 29

Boxing Blues battle Town Varsity Vase

VARSITY REPORTER Another week, another empty Vase schedule. I On Tuesday evening the Cambridge would really like boxing team hosted their last warm to blame the up fixture before Varsity . In a mixed weather again, but it night for the club there were a num - could be that the cap - ber of success and some very encour - tains are just being aging bouts against experienced lazy. With my beloved opposition. Jesus Thirds losing in the league The standout performance of the last weekend, it left me feeling pret - evening came from Cambridge ty miserable. heavyweight newcomer Rory I turned away from the lower Holmes. In his first bout, Holmes leagues and the Vase in an attempt was not troubled past the first round to lift my spirits. On Wednesday as he repeatedly knocked his oppo - night I watched England play a nent to the floor to the extent the friendly match against Spain. “It’s match official ended the encounter at home”, I thought. “We’re bound after the first bell. to win”. England lost 1-0, and I was Cambridge’s Russ Glenn, in the in a foul mood. England had the light welterweight category, also did attacking penetration of a blind, well to secure his first victory in his drunk eunuch and were about as first bout against fellow University creative as a packhorse. boxer, Emmanuel’s Taras Gout. And so I’m going to have to wait In the middleweight, welterweight for the weekend to cheer me up. As and other heavyweight category an Arsenal fan my spirit might be Cambridge were extremely unlucky improved if we beat Wigan on to register defeats. Bout 4 between Sunday, but at the moment I’m McAleese and Taylor was an just worried about how my girl - extremely well fought and tense friend will react when I tell her encounter between two extremely that she’s the best thing that ever talented fighters. Ed Andrews, happened to me, but that the Rugby and Boxing blue, and this Arsenal v Bolton match on year’s CUABC Captain, lost narrowly Valentine’s day is a must see. on points in a tight encounter with If I make it through the week, I Rylands of Marston ABC. Many in hope to tell you about another Vase the audience were adamant that quarterfinal, Girton v Catz taking Andrews was the rightful victor. This place this weekend. If it is can - tough encounter will serve as a impor - celled, I might cry. tant experience in the teams prepara - tions for the upcoming Varsity. The Boxing Blues fought it out in a hard encounter on Tuesday night RICHARD WEST Games and puzzles

11. Looked carefully at dessert coming COMPETITION back after watch (4,2) Varsity crossword no. 462 Win a pair of tickets to the Arts Picturehouse 12. I ran hard from vicious old woman Kakuro Re-arrange the letters by rotating the Fill the grid so that each run of squares adds up to the total in (8) discs to create six separate six-letter the box above or to the left. Use only numbers 1-9, and never 1 1 2 2 3 3 3 4 5 6 7 words leading in to the centre. Email use a number more than once per run (a number may reoccur 13. Wobbled to deter movement on peg your answer to: in the same row in a separate run). (9) [email protected] 8 16. Accountant and verger are spot on 3 9

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Q © Adam Edelshain 16 17 18 1. Icy as a Gallic shrug (7) 2. This tipple overcomes caution and 19 20 hesitation (9) Sudoku Hitori 3. Stacked ambassador was mimic (6) The object is to insert the numbers in the boxes to satisfy only one Shade in the squares so that no number occurs more than once condition: each row, column and 3x3 box must contain the digits per row or column. Shaded squares may not be horizontally or 21 22 21 4. Hereditary stomach upset (4,2,3,6) 1 through 9 exactly once. vertically adjacent. Unshaded squares must form a single area. 5. 500 drove around and got fine (8) 19 23 6. Type of pigpen the Spanish back (5) 3 2 6 5 7 3 5 3 6 3 7 7. Carry out client’s will to kill (7) 9 7 6 5 2 1 24 14. Ratio lied about in column (9) 5 7 4 4 1 3 6 15. Mahogany, for example, found in 3 tricky forest (8) 21 25 2 6 1 6 5 4 4 17. Lycra the French display obviously 6 5 9 8 (7) 26 4 5 2 6 3 1 3 18. Roll a low bed (7) 8 2 7 20. This man’s time is ut into his work 1 3 4 5 8. Recess found within room i scattered (6) 4 6 3 2 7 4 5 ACROSS talc over (6) 22. He prohesised about Hebrew life 5 9. Singular type of happy couple (8) (5) 3 1 3 7 3 2 2 4. Funny comments as confused sire 10. Liquor makes companion sleep quiet - 1 4 8 7 3 6 takes over mail (8) ly on board ship (8) ©Mathmo 8 3 4 9 6 6 7 2 4 5 1

Now here's something more for you to think about. Graduate careers in Consulting. More at accenture.com/ukgraduates Got a sports story? Friday February 9 2007 30 SPORT [email protected] varsity.co.uk/sport Ain’t no mountain high enough »As she prepares for her next ascent, Elli Pirkis writes about the trials of mountain climbing

ELLI PIRKIS The peak I will be attempting is the paucity of oxygen in the air at that called Cho Oyu, the ‘Turquoise altitude causes the body gradually to Goddess’, and lies on the border deteriorate. Not only that, but temper - As a 21 year-old girl and a History of between Nepal and Tibet. It was first atures high on the mountain will com - Art student at Peterhouse, perhaps I climbed in 1954, from the Tibetan side monly fall to -30°C. I’m very fortunate make an unlikely mountaineer. by an Austrian team led by Herbert to have been given lots of mountain Certainly, in comparison to the number Tichy. My expedition will follow this clothing by Berghaus (Ireland), as well of female rock climbers around today, same route, living at Advance Base as some glacier glasses from The there are surprisingly few female high- Camp and putting in three further Norville Group, which will stop me altitude mountaineers. I don’t see why camps on the mountain before finally getting snow-blindness. It will be an this should be the case; in my experi - making a push for the summit. The expensive trip and I am especially ence climbing a big mountain is more a whole trip will take four or five weeks, grateful to the Gordon Foundation for question of stamina and determination giving us ample time to acclimatise as their generous travel grant. I would than of brute strength and machismo. we move up the mountain. still welcome any further sponsorship! I hope that my expedition to the Acclimatization is absolutely critical Preparation and planning is half the Himalayas this Easter will encourage on a mountain of this size, especially as battle on an expedition like this; gath - other British women to have a go at I will be climbing without supplemen - ering together all the clothing, climb - mountaineering, to venture above tary oxygen. Areas above about 7600m ing gear, camping stuff, medicines and 8000m amongst some of the most spec - (the altitude of Camp 3 on Cho Oyu) food that you’ll need, and then trying tacular scenery imaginable. are known as the ‘death zone’ because to reduce the weight so that you can carry it all. I’m doing the expedition as part of a small team of seven people and we’ll be unsupported; that is, car - rying our own gear, putting up our tents, cooking our food and so on. It’s great fun to live independently in the mountains, life is much more straight - forward: all you have to do is eat, sleep and climb. There are only fourteen mountains Pirkis’ team scales the ice face ELLI PIRKIS over 8000m high in the world and I have dreamt of climbing one of them recently I have climbed a 7000m vol - peace you get on a mountain; the since I was ten. That was when, on a cano called Ojos del Salado, which is in absolute silence that only exists far, far trekking holiday in Northern the middle of the Chilean desert. It away from civilization. Pakistan with my family, I saw the was the first time I’ve climbed a snow- Mountaineering is, perhaps, a self - 8125m peak of Nanga Parbat, the capped mountain and then been able to ish activity. The only reason to ven - ‘Killer Mountain’. As well as teaching descend and have a hot bath in a natu - ture so high above the clouds is me to love being in the mountains, ral thermal pool. because you want to. I’m very aware that holiday made me appreciate the Sadly there will be no thermal pools of this, and would like to take the satisfaction of hard physical exercise. on Cho Oyu, though I’m told it’s possi - opportunity to do something useful A concession was made for my ble to make a sauna in a toilet tent with the expedition; to fundraise for a younger brother, then only seven, in (having moved the tent away from the certain charity, appropriately called the form of a donkey to carry him, but toilet hole first). Like most long expe - Moving Mountains. I have worked I was firmly encouraged to walk. ditions, this trip will probably fairly with them in the past, helping to build Since that trek in Pakistan I have smelly and uncomfortable, certainly it a hydro-electric scheme for a remote spent as much time as possible in the will be extremely hard work. That is village in the Nepalese Himalayas. I mountains, during school and universi - part of the appeal of mountaineering; would be enormously grateful to any - ty holidays. I gradually built up the the joy of seeing all your efforts pay off one who would like to sponsor me as altitude; climbing mountains like Mt as you reach the summit and, more the youngest British woman to Blanc, Mt Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, and importantly, as you arrive home safely attempt Cho Oyu. Pirkis at base camp ELLI PIRKIS Imja Tse, 6189m, in Nepal. Most afterwards. I also love the sense of www.justgiving.com/ellichooyu

CAPTAIN’S We train every day along with our Sport In Brief second team, except for Saturday. CORNER We have a sprint and a circuit ses - sion for fitness, as well as team skills and tactical sessions three times a Women’s Rugby BUSA X-Country England call for week. Netball What sort of facilities and provi - Cambridge Women’s Blues beat Last Saturday, Cambridge’s Men’s Cambridge Blues sions does your team have? Bedford 34-0. After a bit of a sluggish and Women’s Cross Country Teams Cambridge’s facilities are actually start, the Women’s Rugby Blues travelled down to Bath for the annual After their recent Varsity success, not very impressive. We don’t have began to fire on all cylinders midway BUSA Cross Country four Cambridge Rugby players have our own courts or coaches, but at the through the first half. Following a Championships, especially competi - been selected to the squad for the moment we’re very lucky to have an series of forward punches, Jo Bradley tive this year as it was coupled with England Students side in preparation experienced coach who volunteers ran it in to score. Good pressure trials for the World Championships. for their game this Saturday against her time once a week. allowed Amy Teal to run through and Spain. Centre David Tibbot, scrum Despite that how’s your season touch the ball down for the second try. half Ross Blake and hooker Joe Clark been so far? The second half got off to a great start: all started in December’s triumphant Pretty successful actually. We’ve Cambridge scored immediately after Varsity encounter with Oxford at been battling for the top spot in our the kickoff as it was fumbled in front of Twickenham. They are joined by BUSA league and Oxford are in the the opposition line and stolen by Keo Cambridge flanker Tom Malaney, who same league as ours, just to add a lit - Shaw, who then scored. The Blues started the match at Twickenham on tle excitement. continued as they had started with the bench. Malaney is one of several So Netball Varsity match should tries from number 8 Hannah Batty England University squad members be a one to watch. What are your and Laura Britton. Bedford had a bit returning from last year’s successful Sian Folley chances and when is it? of a fight back midway through the team. Clark and Tibbot have both I think it will be a very close and second half, this time putting pressure previously won caps at U.18 and U.21 Women’s netball must be very physical game. They beat us last on Cambridge’s line, but strong kick - levels r espectively. The same squad competitive, when did you start? season, but I think we’ve put in a lot ing from the Blues took advantage of is scheduled to play to further match - I played at club and county level of effort this year and that is sure to the opposition’s inexperienced back es against France; one in later from the age of 14, until I left school. pay off. The match is taking place at three and quite frequently gained thir - Febuary and another in March, at I couldn’t really avoid getting into Haverhill Leisure Centre on Sunday ty to forty metres to ease the strain. Cahors and Oxford respectively. The netball because my mother was a 18th February and buses will be Bedford’s best scoring opportunity Blues match against Crawshays’ XV national coach, I spent most leaving from Grange Road for all ended with a Cambridge try, when Despite injuries, the Men’s and scheduled for Wednesday was can - Saturdays on the side line! those want to come and support. Krish Mahbubani intercepted a fly - Women’s Blues both came in solidly in celed, due to adverse weather condi - What level of commitment does Entertainment guaranteed. half-centre pass, ran it into their half, 8th place with particularly strong per - tions. The next Blues game takes Women’s Blues netball require? and kicked ahead for Britton to pick up sonal races from Owain Bristow, place next Wednesday and is against the ball and score her second. Charlotte Forbes and Andy Bell. the Royal Air Force. Friday February 9 2007 Got a sports story? varsity.co.uk/sport Call us now on 01223 353 422 SPORT 31

Sports Tetrathalon Success at Milfield Round Up »Weekend of success leaves Modern Tetrathalon club poised for Varsity Upcoming

whilst Nicky Brooks also obtained a Fixtures VARSITY REPORTER personal best. Leading the race from the gun, Jon Wright’s floating stride February 10-11 allowed him to storm home in 9.41. Polo Arena National Championships Men’s Blues 4 James Pelly bravely tried to stick February 10 Chelmsford 3 with Wright but lost out over the Men’s Lacrosse Blues v Welwyn closing laps in a time of 10.40, which Away The Modern Pentathlon Club paraded earned him top spot in the juniors, Squash v Nottingham Uni their talent at the weekend by domi - followed by Noel Cochrane. Women’s Hockey Blues v Sudbury I nating of the strongly contested A tight time schedule meant rush - Away, 11.30, Great Cornard Sports Millfield Invitational tetrathlon in ing straight over to the fencing salle, Centre Somerset. A sturdy team of 18 mem - frantically stuffing high energy food Men’s Hockey Blues v Broxbourne bers migrated south for the weekend down on the way. The fencing was 2pm Wilby to compete in the disciplines of run - split by gender, so Junior and Senior Women’s Hockey II v St Ives II ning, swimming, shooting and fencing. divisions fenced each other under two Home, 12.30, Wilberforce The competition began on Sunday hit, one minute per hit rules. Overall, February 10-11 morning bright and early with the pis - strong performances materialised Men’s Fencing Blues v Oxford, UCL, tol shooting, which tests accuracy and from all members, but Cochrane and Bath & Bristol control over twenty shots at a 10m Pelly claimed the all important top National rugby fives U25’s distance. Nick England took a narrow spot in the Junior men, whilst Wright February 11 early lead in the Senior Men’s division and Nick England tied for top spot in Coe Fen Relays, College League following the shoot with a great score the Senior men. India Martin capi - Coe Fen, Cambridge of 168 (out of 200). Whilst Ed Moffet’s talised on her Hungarian training, Bowmen v Birmingham (BUTTS 149 secured him top place in the junior lunging ahead of others. Cambridge lock swords with a strong opposition NOEL COCHRANE league) shoot. In the women’s detail Lucy Finally, the 200m freestyle swim Bowmen in Cambridgeshire County Greenwood triumphed with a person - began seven hours after the first problems for some of the club who Women’s event. The overall consis - Championships al best of 173, whilst Sabrinja Veerja event, making stamina and focus were not used to double distance tency of Sabrina Veerja in the four February 12 similarly shot a personal best of 174 to imperative to continue our lead. lengths. Nevertheless, Nicky Brooks events gave her a whisker’s advan - Squash v Oxford & Cambridge Club head the Senior Women. Millfield’s 50m Olympic pool, herald - was dependable yet again with a tage to be the top Cambridge Senior Women’s Hockey II v Oxford II The subsequent 3km race which is ed as a wonder of the world, posed swim of 2.44 – winning the Senior women, followed extremely closely Wilberforce by Cat Wilson and Nicky Brooks fin - Women’s Hockey III v Oxford III ishing in 3rd and 4th places respec - Wilberforce “This impressive tively. Lucy Greenwood continued to February 14 stamp her authority all over the Athletics RAF invitational indoors performance Junior girls division, individually Rugby fives v St Paul’s School winning each section and unsurpris - strangethened ingly winning the division. The testosterone driven men’s swim Cambridge’s was headed by on-form Jon Wright in Results 2.45, which gave him enough points to existing reputa - comfortably claim gold, followed by Women’s Basketball Nick England in second and Kui Oui in Blues v Oxford Won 53-46 tion in the third. James Pelly’s waterpolo train - Men’s Lacrosse ing paid off in the pool when he led the Blues v UEA Won 18-0 event” Junior division swim, resulting in win - College Hockey ning the division overall, with Oli Catz men’s hockey V Sidney 10-0 Samuelson in second and Noel Catz men’s hockey V Downing 13-2 Cochrane in third. This impressive Pembroke v Catz II hockey 4-0 usually cross-country, was run on a performance by all competitors Bowmen v Warwick, Oxford, track, so monotony replaced the usual strengthened Cambridge’s existing Birmingham, Nottingham & views of fenlands and forests. Veerja, reputation for Pentathlon, but gives Loughborough. Cambridge finish fresh from a credible BUSA cross the captains a difficult choice for 2nd (beaten by Warwick) country result the day before, ran a Varsity. With BUSA Pentathlon com - Women’s Lacrosse fluid race to achieve pole position in a ing up in March, Millfield has injected Blues v Bath Won 20-5 time of 11.50, followed by Cat Wilson, Cambridge lead all the way in the 3km race NOEL COCHRANE masses of confidence in the team. Lacrosse II v Oxford Won (w/o) Blues v London I Won 13-3 Women’s lacrosse II in East Anglian tournament Won Joe Powell and Women’s Rugby Gamblers Blues v Peterborough 15-0 Oscar Brodkin Blues v Nottingham Trent (A) 10-7 Blues v Nottingham Trent (H) 5-3 Unanimous Squash Blues v RAC Club 3-2 As you may have noticed, life at bling fever is spreading, and while one wannabee tipster forced to chase starting on Monday. The ‘Young Pembroke v Catz II hockey 4-0 Gamblers Unanimous is pretty good officially we will not be taking respon - his losses after an ill-advised bet on Welsh Dragon’ could well land huge Women’s Hockey at the moment. The ‘Bank Job’ is now sibility, it always nice to have a few Portsmouth to beat Wigan. odds of 26/1 so our last £2 goes on him. Blues v Loughborough II Lost 2-3 talked of around Cambridge as a more brothers in arms. One high- For the ‘Porters’ Tip’ we gallop II v Bedford Won 3-0 licence to print money, after four rolling Scottish student punter took to Newbury for the 3.45 Game Running total: £55.89 II v Coventry Won 5-2 straight winning weeks. Even the the bookies to the cleaners on Spirit Chase over 2m 1f on Netball porters’ are getting pressies in the Tuesday night. He cor - Saturday. The popular Voy Por their pigeon-holes after Indianapolis rectly realised the Ustedes jumps like a stag and bar - Blues v Bedford Lost 32-37 blitzed the Bears on Sunday. The German U21 side would ring any mistakes should cruise The Bank Job Netball II v Loughborough II only disappointment is that our be too strong for a home. £6 on at odds of around 7/4 West Brom to beat Southampton Lost 29-40 readers’ new-found wealth is not Scotland team that (2.72) will pay well. Stake: £12 Football being redistributed to two thirsty could only field a The ‘Bank Job’ travels to The The Long Shot Blues v Wolverhampton Won 3-0 hacks at the Cindies bar. There’s Championship for the first time on Women’s Blues v Northampton always a next time… Saturday. West Brom are in blister - Matthew Stevens As it happens this article very ing form at the moment, Diomansy Welsh Snooker Open Women Won 7-3 nearly didn’t get written after a bust- Kamara leading the line with six Stake: £2 Men’s Basketball up on the poker table on Saturday goals in his last four games. The Blues v East Anglia I Won 54-42 evening. During a feisty £10 freeze - Baggies should beat an overrated The Porters’ Tip Table Tennis out we nearly came to blows following Southampton team at the Newbury Vor Por Ustedes Blues v London South Bank Won16-1 a bad call and a luck outdraw, but Hawthorns, and odds of even Men’s Volleyball luckily all was forgotten in the book - money (2.02) are sim ply too big to Stake: £6 ies on Sunday, as Ireland won by ignore. £12 goes on to double your Blues v Oxford Brookes I Won 3-0 more than four points in the rugby, bunch of money. Women’s Volleyball and Joseph Addai made his yards at school kids, and The ‘Long Shot’ comes courtesy of Blues v Nottingham I Won 3-0 the Superbowl for two juicy wins. duly lumped on for an easy profit. home favourite Matthew Stevens in Men’s Tennis In and around Cambridge, gam - Others have been less fortunate, with the Welsh Snooker Open in Newport Blues v Oxford Brookes II Won 10-0 Friday February 9 2007 varsity.co.uk/sport Mountaineering Blues Boxing Cambridge student Varsity Warmup SPORT breaking records Page 31 Page 29 Varsity Triumph as Blues swim to victory in the pool »Swimming and Waterpolo make a clean sweep of the honours

CATHERINE DOBSON Swimming Correspondent

Saturday Febuary 3 saw Cambridge take on Oxford in swimming and water polo Varsity matches at Parkside Pools. The swimmers had the task of defending their current winning streak (begun in 2000) against an increasingly strong Oxford squad who are benefiting from professional coaching and their own pool facility. In the ladies’ competition the two sides could not have been more even - ly matched with the points split down the middle in five out of the six events. It was the 100m Breaststroke that proved the turn - ing point. Woman of the match, Katherine Hedley, having been pla gued by both illness and injury, won in 1.16.20 and took her fourth individual university record of the year. Team mate Kate Hindson over - came a troublesome shoulder injury to make it 1-2 in the event putting the girls four points ahead. The 4 x 50m medley relay quartet of Catherine Dobson, Hedley, Teresa Thurston and Sonia White sealed the win, taking victory by half a length against their dark blue counterparts. Other individual wins came from Thurston, making it four victories in four years in the 100m Butterfly, and Captain Emma Game came through on the final length of the 100m Freestyle to take the win. Freshers Natalie Moores and Heather Moore Kate Hindson swims the butterfly leg of the individual medley for Cambridge, helping to ensure a sea of light blue on the winners’ podium SOPHIE PICKFORD were barely separable in the 100m backstroke taking 2,3 in a lifetime time bests. Captain Graeme Spence of the game by an Oxford squad Dark moments came when It is very rare that Cambridge gains best for Moores and a season’s best said, “I’m so proud of every perform - aware of her prowess. The wrapping Cambridge’s Maltese International, a clean sweep in the Varsity matches for Moore demonstrating just how ance today, with the team stepping of Maxine von Eye in the third quar - Simon Cachia, was sent out. The and I’m delighted that the clu b has key they will be to the squad in up to the occasion and performing. ter was a great loss but only spurred resulting converted penalty helped managed to achieve it this year.” future years. We deserved the victory, having the team on to victory. Jo Davies’ Oxford narrow their gap. In the men’s match, following an been very determined and worked narrowly missed penalty demon - Half time saw an increasingly unfortunate injury sustained by cap - hard all year.” strated further quite how talented frustrated Cambridge Squad tain Graeme Spence, a last minute Following the success of the swim - this squad is. Goals were scored by brought back under control by some Results shuffle took place and saw Brett mers the water polo players set Bridget Riley (2), von Eye (2), Sarah excellent advice from Cambridge McLean and Will Wall deputizing in about avenging last year’s defeats. Hopkins (1) and Ermgassen (1). coach Andy Knight, who reorgan - the 200m Individual Medley and An experienced ladies’ squad led by In the final match of the evening, ised the team to adapt to the Oxford 100m Butterfly respectively, with Line zu Ermgassen were quietly con - the men’s water polo team took to threat. This proved pivotal for the Swimming Overall both stepping up to the occasion fident following some strong show - the water. Having drawn with light blues, who came back in the Cambridge 92 admirably. Veteran Daniel O’Dea, ings throughout the year. This confi - Oxford only nine days before, in third quarter to score four goals competing in his seventh match, dence was indeed warranted; some BUSA, this promised to be a hard with Oxford managing only one in Oxford 78 took the 100m Butterfly in compre - excellent match play saw the Light fought game. After an early goal reply. Strong defending and good hensive fashion, beating the Oxford Blues ahead 6-2 in the third quarter, from Oxford’s New Zealand leadership from Cambridge Captain captain by a body length. Tom Close two Oxford goals in the dying quar - International, Shaun Hotchkins, it Steve Smith saw Cambridge hold off Men’s Waterpolo once again took on the 100m and ter saw a final result of 6-4. looked like the Dark Side were there Oxford’s final push in the fourth Cambridge 11 200m Freestyle combination win - The squad performed strongly to dominate. A quick response from quarter. A final goal from ning both in style with team mate throughout the match. Some excel - Cambridge ensured this wasn’t to be Cambridge’s Chris Judge sealed the Oxford 8 Ben Yeoh completing a 1,2 in the lat - lent goalkeeping from Janet Scott, in the case, and the second quarter saw deal. 11-8, four matches out of four. ter. Yeoh joined Man of the Match particular two magnificent saves in Cambridge take the lead. Solid After the Match, CUSWPC Ladies Waterpolo Brett McLean in the 100m the shallow end, ensured that Oxford defending from Varsity Match Man President Chris Judge said “After Breaststroke, with McLean taking a would only see defeat. Donna of the Match Steve Cooke and goals having lost the water polo to Oxford Cambridge 6 formidable victory followed closely Etiebet played an excellent game in from Albert Riera ensured that last year, it’s good to have smashed Oxford 4 by Yeoh, both men performing life - hole, but was effectively marked out Oxford were put back in their place. them one last time before I graduate. Left handed? Good at Sport? Got a Blue? If so, contact [email protected]