SUSAN DEWEY DePauw University “Dear Dr. Kothari ...”: Sexuality, violence against women, and the parallel public sphere in India

ABSTRACT Dear Dr. Kothari, In India, cultural prohibitions on discussions about When I was fourteen years old I was raped by my uncle and as a result I sexuality and violence against women have resulted got pregnant. I was very much scared of my parents and so I did not tell in a parallel public sphere in which individuals make them anything. So I had to deliver the child. My husband does not know use of popular culture to resolve private dilemmas. anything about this. Is it the case that a doctor can determine whether In this article, I examine how female discourse a woman has already delivered a child and if so must he tell her hus- band? Please Dr. Kothari you are my only resort. I beg of you to help me regarding two highly publicized cases of violence otherwise my parents’ life will be ruined and I will be forced to commit against women in Mumbai employed the parallel suicide. public sphere, a cultural phenomenon that allows individual normalcy to be gauged as part of a —Letter mailed to “Prescription,” a Femina magazine column on broader process by which the silenced learn to use sexuality their voices only at certain times and in certain ostmarked from the state of Uttar Pradesh, this impassioned plea ways. [South Asia, sexuality, Mumbai, popular resembles thousands of others received by a column in a pop- culture, Habermas, violence against women] ular women’s magazine from readers throughout India. Most of these letters do not reveal the authors’ names or return addresses, many end with a threat of suicide or imminent marital collapse inP the event that advice is not provided, and each is unique in its details of sexual secrets that threaten to destroy the writer’s life. How can one make sense of the decision made by so many individuals to write anonymously to a women’s magazine column with a readership of almost one million In- dians in hopes of receiving advice on how to resolve their most intimate problems? What does the communication of private details in such a pub- lic format reveal about attitudes toward sexuality and gender in contempo- rary India? In this article, I examine these questions and provide examples of female discourse surrounding two events that made gender relations the focus of public debate to demonstrate how women use what I call the “par- allel public sphere” to make sense of taboo issues in their personal lives.1 Jurgen¨ Habermas defines the public sphere as “an intermediary struc- ture between the political system ...and the private sectors of the life- world” (1996:367) that functions to familiarize the state with the needs of its citizens. Habermas (1996:367) acknowledges the coexistence of several publics in his unified public sphere: “episodic publics” that occur when individuals gather informally, “arranged publics” that take place during

AMERICAN ETHNOLOGIST, Vol. 36, No. 1, pp. 124–139, ISSN 0094-0496, online ISSN 1548-1425. C 2009 by the American Anthropological Association. All rights reserved. DOI: 10.1111/j.1548-1425.2008.01104.x The parallel public sphere  American Ethnologist

scheduled meetings, and “diffuse publics” composed of the organization of power” (1992:106). She asserts that mass-media consumers. Diffuse publics are critical to the Habermas’s unspoken assumption of a naturalized associ- creation of cultural consensus, which Habermas defines ation between privileged masculinity, power, and discourse as agreement between “private people come together as a in the public sphere results in his failure to recognize “the public” (1989:27). The lines between private and public are masquerade through which the male particular was able to not completely sealed in Habermasian thought, yet the flow posture behind the veil of the universal” (Landes 1992:112). of information from one sphere to the other is seriously lim- My contribution to these critiques and reinterpreta- ited by social norms regarding appropriate communication tions of the Habermasian public sphere is what I call the between family members, work colleagues, and strangers. “parallel public sphere,” which operates in tandem with These normative behaviors and beliefs essentially function and according to established gender and other social norms to “safeguard intimacy” and “channel the flow of topics and is neither altogether subversive nor a complete instru- from the one sphere to the other” (Habermas 1996:362). ment of domination. Although I discuss the concept of the Habermas believes everyone in society participates in “parallel public sphere” in the specific context of women’s the public sphere, and he notes that “problems voiced in popular culture in urban India, it could be extended to char- the public sphere first become visible when they are mir- acterize other marginalized subcultures that are forced to rored in personal life experiences” (1996:358). Although operate in societies that devalue but simultaneously recog- what he calls “private experiences” inform discussions of nize their existence. The parallel public sphere is as much a the public sphere (Habermas 1996:362), he contends that consequence of oppression as an agent of it because it fills actors only have the ability to instigate change at “crit- the dual role of the provision of a space for certain groups to ical moments of an accelerated history” when such ac- evaluate the appropriateness or acceptability of their needs tors may “reverse the normal circuits of communication” while simultaneously reinforcing dominant norms in a re- (1996:372). My conception of the parallel public sphere rec- stricted cultural context. ognizes that what Habermas calls “critical moments” can, If the public sphere in the Habermasian sense com- in fact, be much more mundane and take place whenever municates the needs of individuals to the state, the parallel events are discursively constructed as crises precisely be- public sphere is a venue for the socially sanctioned (albeit cause of the tensions and inequalities they expose. It is marginalized) dialogue that takes place between society through the parallel public sphere that society solves the and individuals who are part of relatively disempowered dilemma left unanswered by Habermas about where the groups, including women. As is self-evident, this dialogue lines are drawn between private and public.2 Whenever a is by no means an equal exchange, and, thus, individuals moment occurs that openly exposes inequality through a who participate in it reinforce their marginal status at some particularly provocative event, the parallel public sphere level, given that the parallel public sphere can neither op- functions as a way for individuals to engage in dialogue not erate independently nor fully separate itself from the pub- with the state in the Habermasian sense but, rather, with the lic sphere. Although the parallel public sphere can be em- state of particular marginalized groups. powering by providing a sense of group membership in a Feminist critiques of Habermas have challenged his Habermasian diffuse community, one must remember poet work as both masculinist (Fraser 1992:110) and overly sim- Audre Lorde’s (1984:110) maxim about the inability of the plistic (Landes 1992:106). Nancy Fraser argues that Haber- master’s tools to dismantle the master’s house. What Lorde mas’s key premise of “a theater in modern societies ... calls “the master’s tools,” however, are sometimes the only enacted through the medium of talk” (1992:10) is useful, but means by which members of marginalized communities are she further contends that his work is characterized by prob- able to seek assistance in resolving their private dilemmas. lematic assumptions of universal equality and the desir- The parallel public sphere is not a culture-bound con- ability of avoiding discussions of private matters (1992:118). cept relevant only to India, and numerous cross-cultural Fraser (1992:137) observes that a feminist reworking of the examples can be found that highlight its power to simul- Habermasian public sphere not only blurs the oppressive taneously voice dissent and reinforce oppression through lines between private and public but can also reveal how a process in which the silenced learn to use their voices discourse has the power to subordinate. This consideration only at certain times and in certain ways. Jacqueline Urla of unequal power relations is not only central to key princi- has demonstrated the danger of assuming that the power ples of feminist thought but also allows for a rethinking of to control is exercised unilaterally, showing how statistics, how power is enforced and replicated in the public sphere. which are usually associated with the state and its machi- Joan Landes contends that the Habermasian pub- nations of power, are not simply tools imposed on the lic sphere is composed of a tiny minority of affluent weak by the powerful. Her work on Basque activists’ use white European men, which leads her to ask point- of state statistics on the declining use of the Basque lan- edly “whether Habermas’ normative subject is sufficiently guage as evidence of the desperate need to preserve the lan- multi-dimensional, embodied or gendered to account for guage highlights how such mechanisms can be embraced

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by marginalized groups as “a tool of community empower- the complicated relationships of power that exist between ment and public self-representation” (Urla 1993:833). women’s magazines and their readers. The feminist imperative to politicize the “personal” in Dawn Currie (1999) has revealed how magazine ad- the case of domestic violence in the United States similarly vice columns push U.S. adolescent girls to doubt them- reveals how the parallel public sphere functions as a locus selves rather than the oppressive social structures around of debate. Elizabeth Pleck (1987) has documented how the them, and Anne Gough-Yates (2003) has similarly high- major historical periods of attention to violence against U.S. lighted how contemporary U.S. adult women’s magazines women have coincided with rises in reported cases of such seek to inundate every aspect of women’s lives and selves violence because the stigma of the “private” was temporar- with consumerism under the guise of self-improvement. ily removed from domestic abuse. Pleck notes that wan- Nancy Walker’s (1998, 2000) historical analyses of midcen- ing popular-cultural interest in violence against women has tury U.S. women’s magazines document notions of gen- historically been “easy to detect: ministers, writers or judges dered citizenship in WWII and the Cold War as they were would urge a return to a more private family life or argue actively created in women’s magazines at the very begin- that the state should refrain from interfering in the family, nings of the “modern era.” Sarah Frederick (2006) has also and greater suspicion of government intrusion or increased underscored how women are crucial to national projects of respect for family privacy would diminish support for social modernity and how popular culture embodied in women’s policies against family violence” (1987:6). That reported in- magazines was a vehicle for the creation of the “modern stances of domestic violence consistently disappeared from woman” in interwar Japan. Yet it is important to recog- court records throughout U.S. history at the same times that nize, as Margaret Beetham (1996) does, that the power of popular-cultural interest in it declined underscores how the magazines’ discourses to mold idealized versions of proper parallel public sphere functions to teach marginalized com- femininity coexists with a woman’s individual power to ex- munities, in this case, women, when to be silent about their ploit those discourses. As the oldest and most widely read oppression. Indian women’s magazine, Femina provides an excellent lo- The most interesting aspect of the parallel public cus from which to examine how such standards and val- sphere is its simultaneous internal (private) and social ues are produced and contested within the parallel public (public) nature, which not only allows individuals to use sphere. popular culture and events to determine what is “normal” Femina is an English-language publication that aver- in their personal lives but also provides women a means to ages 150,000 copies sold per fortnightly issue, although it engage with socially stigmatized topics of concern to them. has a readership of over six times that number, meaning The central question I address, then, is, how does the par- that every copy is actually read by an average of six indi- allel public sphere in Mumbai, India, provide women with viduals (National Readership Survey [NRS] 2006). Femina is a language and a forum to engage in veiled discussions both widely read and highly respected by many, both be- about the otherwise taboo subjects of sexuality and vio- cause of its seniority and because of its association with the lence against women? prestigious Miss India pageant (Dewey 2008).3 The first is- sue of the magazine was published in 1959, and its read- ership continues to grow today, with the number of sub- Femina magazine and the parallel public sphere scribers increasing by 34 percent in eight major Indian cities since 1994 (NRS 2006). This relatively broad distribution of Femina is an example of the Habermasian public sphere the magazine clearly positions it as part of the Habermasian in urban India operating in tandem with the parallel pub- public sphere capable of generating debate and producing lic sphere that enables women to use popular culture to consensus. The first and only pan-Indian National Read- make sense of private dilemmas. This is part of a larger cul- ership Survey assessed the demographic characteristics of tural phenomenon that can also be observed in women’s audiences for major publications on the subcontinent and discourse and the Femina advice column “Prescription,” established that individuals from relatively privileged so- both of which I discuss below. Feminist scholarship on cioeconomic backgrounds read Femina: 76 percent come how women “read” popular culture and make use of the from households with an annual monthly income of over public sphere to privately construct expectations of so- 10,000 rupees ($208) and typically include a white-collar cial behavior has stressed the coercive nature of women’s office worker as the main source of income. A second magazines as agents that reinforce gendered social norms. group of readers (13 percent) live in homes that take in Gigi Durham has discussed how the first mass-produced between 6,000 and 10,000 rupees per month ($125–208) European and U.S. women’s magazines were “developed from a primary income earner who is likely to be a gov- as part of a sustained campaign to impose a certain set of ernment employee or service-sector worker. Six percent of standards and values on the female reader” (1996:21), and readers’ households earn between 4,000 and 6,000 rupees this sentiment has been reinforced by much research on per month ($83–$125) and may be supported by teachers

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or other education professionals. Four percent are headed sex, she wants everything. The Femina lifestyle is very aspi- by police officers and other lower-level government em- rational ...there is an upwardly mobile philosophy at work ployees who take home a monthly wage between 2,000 and and it’s not just economic or financial: it’s emotional.” 4,000 rupees ($42–$83). A small but significant one percent Saran’s statement corroborates Hegde’s analysis pri- of Femina readers exist on less than 2,000 rupees per month marily because it focuses on the ties the “Femina woman” ($42), which places them close to the poverty line in larger has to her family and her need to balance these with other metropolitan areas (NRS 2006). demanding aspects of her life, including work and aspi- This large (albeit privileged) readership results at least rations to social mobility. She explained that such emo- in part from intimate connections the magazine shares with tional aspirations form a sort of outward-facing spiral with the genesis of India as a nation; indeed, its first editor-in- a happy husband at its center, followed by a “great rap- chief, Vimla Patel, described the formation of the magazine port” with one’s children, then close friends, and finally dot- as a postindependence nation-building exercise very much ing parents-in-law. If this successful emotional spiral for situated in the Habermasian sense of the public sphere as a women begins with a happy, loving marriage and then ex- producer of consensus: tends outward to a more idealistic goal of adoring in-laws, Femina does, indeed, function as Patel’s “how-to magazine” Femina was started because when India became inde- through its advice columns and short stories on relation- pendent there were, because of the various states in ship dilemmas, discussed below. India, different kinds of women. Nobody had identified Yet one of the most curious aspects of what Saran what was the Indian woman; there was a question mark (among others) calls the “Femina woman” is that a great there. People had different kinds of regional food, dif- many structural elements work to deny women access to ferent languages, different textiles, different customs, the “everything” she describes. Even women who are cel- and different attitudes to life. Who was going to pull all ebrated by the magazine and other forms of Indian pop- these threads together and make one fabric? That was the question, and the answer to that was Femina, be- ular culture as paragons of femininity and success have cause it was written in a language [English] that all edu- faced significant and often highly publicized obstacles in cated women could understand, and it was brought out their personal lives, and many have achieved notoriety at a [published] by The Times of India, which had a distribu- high psychic cost. Hindi film actress and former Miss India tion system that reached every village in the country. Zeenat Aman responds to queries on relationship dilemmas mailed anonymously to the column “Home Truths,” and her Patel’s powerful connection of the magazine to the creation advice often reinforces gender stereotypes that I discuss be- of Indian national identity underscores how the publication low, including the frequent message that women have the is part of the Habermasian public sphere, yet it is also sit- responsibility to self-police their behavior at all times. Her uated in the parallel public sphere because of its focus on reiteration of such stereotypes may be a bit confusing to women and what may be called “women’s issues” through readers who are aware (as most fans of Indian popular cul- its advice columns and short stories that typically feature a ture are) that one of Aman’s eyes is slightly lower than the relationship dilemma confronted by a female protagonist. other as the enduring result of a brutal beating by her film- Patel explained that, since its inception, the magazine has producer boyfriend at the height of her fame in the 1970s. been “ridiculed by men” as a sort of women’s manual for Aman is certainly not alone in perpetuating the kind life, and yet she also asserted, “I’m proud that Femina was of beliefs that indirectly caused great suffering in her own and is a how-to magazine, because Femina is always teach- life; the Femina writers who were responsible for creat- ing women how to lead life.” ing and reinforcing ideas presented in the magazine did It is this concept of “teaching women how to lead life” not lead particularly self-supporting or dilemma-free lives that is most central to the parallel public sphere, although, either. All of the writers followed South Asian cultural con- clearly, messages conveyed in the magazine may not always ventions by living either with their parents, with the fam- result in a sense of self-empowerment for readers. Radha ilies of their husbands, or in nuclear family arrangements Hegde’s analysis of Femina concludes that the magazine’s with husbands and children. The only woman who lived “response to the dilemmas facing women’s self-identity re- alone did so because she had divorced her unfaithful hus- volves around themes of femininity, independence and the band and her parents forbade her from returning to her myth of the superwoman” (1995:183). What may be read as natal home with her six-month-old son. Femina editor-in- Hegde’s critique of Patel’s claim that Femina is “the voice chief Saran was emphatic that the potential for frustration of women” was actually supported by Sathya Saran, who among women who are unable to successfully balance fam- was editor-in-chief during my fieldwork at the magazine. ily, career, and home is mitigated by the reality that women When asked to describe a typical reader, Saran explained, cannot hope to achieve everything. “We tell our readers,” “She is the Femina woman, she wants to take holidays, she she said, “just do what you want as far as your emotional wants to be a mother, she wants to work, she wants great capabilities will allow you.”

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Saran’s clear insistence that “the Femina lifestyle” is for example, the allegation that a particular actress is be- “emotional” underscores the blurry boundary between the lieved to be having an affair with a married man is not no- public sphere and the parallel public sphere. The maga- table in itself, but it becomes a subject of interest because zine is clearly part of the Habermasian public sphere via the public knowledge of it allows ordinary women to open a di- anonymity of its advice columns and its function as a forum alogue about female desire and the boundaries of appropri- for debates about gender-appropriate roles and behaviors, ate sexual behavior that they would not be able to engage in and yet its repeated features on relationships, sexuality, and otherwise. However, the biggest “leak” of all that results in violence against women seriously complicate Habermas’s the creation of the parallel public sphere is the enormous belief in a clear distinction between public and private. One gap between the idealized woman who, as Saran observed, of the key defining elements of the parallel public sphere “wants everything” (and is able to get it) and the real-life evidenced in Femina and elsewhere is that it functions as a dilemmas faced by most women. This gap between the ideal space in which the private becomes a matter of public de- and the real allows for the existence of the parallel public bate. The caveat here lies in how readers use popular culture sphere, in which marginalized communities negotiate be- to mediate or solve personal dilemmas, and, although Fem- tween the social justification of their oppression and their ina is clearly able to provide guidance on such matters, it individual desire for equal treatment. would be foolish to suggest that advice offered in the maga- Habermas (1989:26) identifies the public sphere as a zine is blindly followed by its audience. producer of consensus, but the question remains whose Mary Talbot argues that readers of U.S. women’s mag- “consensus” is being referred to; after all, what does it re- azines are not “passive receptors and ignorant dupes” veal that a magazine that markets itself as a tool for women’s (1995:161), and the same is obviously true of Indian read- self-improvement so often features graphic accounts of ers. Although Joke Hermes has determined that such popu- abuse and exploitation? The parallel public sphere makes lar publications are “little more than a pleasurable way to fill use of the public sphere’s so-called consensus on justifica- moments of relaxation” (1996:182), women’s magazines ob- tions for the oppression of women (and others) to gauge viously do transmit messages to readers, and readers clearly individual normalcy as part of a process by which the si- respond to these messages. The key question here is how lenced learn culturally sanctioned forms of speech and ac- Femina reinforces gendered stereotypes both in its short tion. Women learn via their participation in the parallel stories and in responses to readers’ anonymous letters that public sphere that it is acceptable to engage in “gossip” detail their most intimate personal problems. Part of the an- about an actress’s private life or to write an anonymous let- swer lies in what Jane Hill describes as the “leaky boundary” ter about a painful private dilemma, and these acts may, between the public and private spheres, where “topics and indeed, help them to resolve some of their own personal themes for discussion, kinds of persons who are speaking crises. Yet it is, nonetheless, crucial to note that the appear- and styles and genres interact in complex ways” (1997:200). ance of these “leakages” and the resistance that accompa- Hill (1997:201) uses the concept of the “leaky bound- nies them occur on the margins of the public sphere: in ary” between the private and the public to describe how hushed conversations between women, in anonymous let- racism continues to operate in the public sphere by mask- ters and stories, and in popular-cultural obsessions with ac- ing its real meanings and intentions with more “benign” tresses’ personal lives. stereotypes and language. Women’s magazines also oc- Popular-cultural domains discussed throughout this cupy the “leaky boundary” between the public and pri- article demonstrate the dual “leaks” that constitute the vate spheres by reinforcing gender roles and stereotypes parallel public sphere: (1) the internal conflicts faced by while simultaneously (and somewhat paradoxically) at- women who live in a strongly sexist society and (2) the ex- tempting to address deep structural inequalities that im- posure of social and institutional weaknesses that encour- pact women. This phenomenon occurs in such publica- age such conflicts to endure. The parallel public sphere thus tions cross-culturally and yet remains especially salient raises the question of who has the right to define abuse, given the pervasiveness of what Hermes (1996) calls “ev- who deserves to be subjected to it, and what social and in- eryday media” as advisors to women on how to successful dividual responses to violence against women are appro- navigate a gendered world (e.g., McCracken 1993; Winship priate. Femina’s stance on sexuality, gender, and violence 1988). against women has remained strikingly consistent over its Femina goes beyond this “leaky boundary” to form part past half-century of fortnightly publication and generally of the parallel public sphere because it is both a reproducer revolves around three key themes: (1) conviction that vio- of entrenched gender stereotypes and a popular site of in- lence against women is part of a gendered structural bias, quiry for readers with pressing private dilemmas. The mag- (2) paradoxical reinforcement of these structural inequal- azine’spopularity stems at least in part from the consistency ities through negative depictions of women who contest with which it focuses on “leaks” that function as a kind of them, and (3) the need for women to restrain sexual and ro- code with which to discuss otherwise taboo subjects. Thus, mantic desire in order to fulfill their appropriate social roles

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and obligations. Patricia Uberoi’sanalysis of short stories on all times to assure their safety in public. The Femina con- relationship dilemmas featured in the Indian women’smag- sensus throughout the history of its publication also holds azine Woman’s Era finds that sexuality is often absent from that women must be constantly on guard even in gender- such stories, displaced instead to advice columns “whose segregated spaces such as the ladies’ compartment, a single very existence bears witness to a breakdown of the norma- car on all Mumbai commuter trains reserved specifically for tive order” (2001:174). female passengers because of cultural prohibitions against Yet this “normative order” often includes the tacit per- physical contact between unrelated members of the oppo- missibility of violence against women, which Femina insists site sex. is part of deep structural biases against women that inhibit Mumbai commuter trains are notoriously over- possibilities for real social change. The article “Violence crowded, and the ladies’ compartment allows women to against Women: A Diagnostic View” asked more-privileged travel in the city without fear of unwanted male attention or readers, “Why don’t [you] outwit the system and provide a physical contact. One article on the subject unequivocally model for the oppressed, poor and rural woman?” (Singh warned readers that, “naturally, any woman in the ladies’ 1977:22). However, this Habermasian instructional mode compartment at an odd hour is bound to be vulnerable to that suggests readers have a responsibility to set higher assaults” (Aggarwal 1986:40). Sharon Marcus (1992:390) has standards is somewhat destabilized by letters from read- described such naturalization of violence against women ers that highlight the depressing depth of such inequalities. as a “rape script” in which rape is an assumed fact of A reader who was clearly moved by the “Violence against life for women that must be negotiated as an inalienable Women” feature explained in a detailed anonymous letter reality. This assumption that it is “natural” for women to to the editor that was published in the following issue that, be “vulnerable to assaults” is reinforced by discussions of although she wished she could “provide a model” to other pervasive and enduring cultural attitudes that encourage abused women, her “impossible choice lies between being women to blame other women for abuse inflicted on them dependent on an aged father or an abusive husband” (Patel rather than challenging prevailing norms. As a pointed 1977a:5). piece titled “Of Patriarchal Women” adamantly observed, Such frank discussions by Femina writers and in letters “Women are their own worst enemies. ...It’s women who to the editor also extend to sexual violence, and a special uphold the patriarchal system more than men. We can’t supplement on rape published in 1986 held that “our so- beat them, so we join them” (Bajpai 1998:157). This criti- cial and sexual expectations of men and women form an cism clearly holds women responsible for their own fate, elaborate rape trap in which women stand a poor chance and yet the question remains how women who live in fam- of proving they were raped” (Singh 1986:50). This assertion ilies economically and socially dominated by men could also surfaced in an article that appeared later in the year possibly challenge what the author calls “the patriarchal titled “The Law Favours the Rapist,” in which the author system.” A first-person narrative directly addressed this instructed women about what to do in the event of a sex- question in the following issue of the magazine, in which ual assault but simultaneously cautioned that “a strong po- the writer recounted the painful tale “I Saw My Husband’s lice bias against rape victims, hypocritical social values and Mistress through Three Abortions” (Pandey 1998:126) cumbersome legal procedures have all combined to tilt the because of her own economic dependence on her hus- scales in favor of the rapist” (Pereira 1986:40). A flood of let- band and the “deep emotional pit” that characterized her ters written by men who had read the Femina articles on marriage. rape followed both issues, and one male letter writer in- “Are You a Victim of Violence Too?” highlighted the sisted that “men will stop raping women when women stop plight of such economically dependent women and em- wearing sleeveless cholis [the tight-fitting-blouse worn un- phatically stated, “Women are beaten because they have der a sari], mini-skirts and hipster saris” (Patel 1986b:4). less power than men within the family. This power is in- Articles on violence against women and reader re- stitutionally and socially vested in men and has nothing to sponses to them indicate a contradictory set of messages do with physical strength” (Gangoli and Solanki 1998:149). that vacillate between indignation about such injustice and Anonymous letters to the editor consistently highlight this resignation to it, as pieces that decry the abuse of women point through the use of very personal stories and often end also acknowledge that women bear the responsibility for with a plea for solidarity with other women, such as the such violence. A more recent article on the subject fea- missive signed by “Teeta from Mumbai,” which lamented, tured an interview with then Mumbai police commissioner “I am a young mother of four adorable kids and married M. N. Singh, who flatly stated, “Women must develop skills for over a decade. My husband and I both work as execu- to defend themselves, since the police cannot protect each tives in reputable firms. My problem is that from the first and every individual in society” (Dadachanji 2002:147). day of my marriage till date, my husband abuses and as- Commissioner Singh advised readers to carry the power- saults me brutally after consuming alcohol. I have tried all ful aerosol spray CS Gas 5005, akin to Mace, with them at avenues of help to no avail, and parents, priests, lawyers,

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in-laws are of no help. I wonder if other readers are in a The need for women to restrain desire to fulfill their similar predicament as mine” (1986:15). Following a pat- appropriate social roles and obligations is consistently ex- tern of dialogue between readers who send anonymous let- pressed in Femina and comes through especially clearly in ters to the magazine, Teeta’s letter received a flurry of re- short stories that address relationship dilemmas. Dire con- sponses that suggested everything from increased tolerance sequences are often predicted to await women who flout so- of her husband’s behavior to a divorce and police inter- cial convention, as in the short story “Abortion,” in which vention. It is impossible to know what course of action the a college student becomes pregnant during a love affair anonymous Teeta from Mumbai ultimately chose to deal with her English professor and quickly realizes that the two with her dilemma, but her decision to seek its resolution in can never marry or remain together as a couple, as “a gulf a very public forum remains significant because it indicates would yawn between them, and in her boredom she would both the depth of her desperation and the frequency with seek distraction elsewhere. Remembering her own case, she which her problem is silently faced by other women whose would be jealous of every girl he taught. Baseless suspi- anonymous letters in response offered both advice and cion would lead to exasperation, and then unfaithfulness. criticism. She would end up in the arms of a younger man” (Sharma That Femina so consistently features stories and let- 1998:123). If the ignominy of adultery certainly awaits the ters from readers about structural inequalities women young woman impregnated by a much older man, the face is tempered by its reinforcement of prevailing gen- woman who has forsaken marriage for a career is even der stereotypes that hold women responsible for many worse off; in “The Two Friends,” Manorama returns to forms of abuse. Consider, for example, Aman’s response to India after a successful career with the United Nations a teenager who had been blackmailed into prostitution by only to find herself romantically involved with a married a former lover who threatened to show her nude photo- man. Manorama explains her situation to a happily mar- graph to everyone in their school class if she refused to ried friend from her school days that she happens to meet do his bidding: “How could you allow this situation to get at the train station while awaiting the arrival of her mar- so completely out of hand? If you don’t take a stand right ried lover. She offers no apologies for her behavior, ex- now, you will eventually die of a sexually-contracted dis- plaining that the wife of her beloved is “the proverbial frog ease” (2002:70). Aman thus effectively informed the anony- in the well” (Muthanna 1965a:49) who is not interested mous 16-year-old letter writer that she was responsible for in or aware of the outside world. Her married friend is her plight and that matters would only get worse if she did shocked by such a scandalous tale. “Manorama had cer- not take charge of an abusive situation in which she had tainly changed a lot since her student days,” she thinks very little power. to herself, “she was hard, predatory and ruthless in her Such extreme ambivalence is by no means confined desire—a woman like Manorama would always be feared to contemporary dilemmas related to sexuality and abuse and disliked” (Muthanna 1965:39). and has, in fact, characterized many of the magazine’s dis- Although the negative depictions of adulteresses and cussions about appropriate roles for women since its in- adolescent mothers in most forms of Indian popular fiction ception. A letter to the editor that appeared in a 1965 are perhaps unsurprising, the frequency with which even issue bemoaned the fate of female university graduates, “good” protagonists find themselves in a moral quandary noting, “Our mothers always felt sorry for the fact that they is quite striking. The most benign of such stories revolve were not educated. Well, my only grudge in life is ‘why was around the twin themes of regret and envy and generally I ever educated?’ The valuable time I could have spent in feature a stay-at-home mother who wishes her life had learning the art of cooking, sewing, sweeping and mopping taken a different path until an event transpires that makes I wasted in studying for a useless degree. I feel it was a her realize that her decision to opt for domesticity was, in- sheer waste of time, money and energy. Oh, the poor, ed- deed, the correct choice. In “The Grass Is Greener,” nine- ucated mother!” (Kapoor 1965:7). Such deeply conservative months-pregnant Sandhya sits by her swimming pool and letters are by no means confined to issues of the magazine silently envies Leela, her beautiful (and bikini-clad) child- from past decades and quite consistently accompany arti- less neighbor, who is married to a man much more suc- cles (and other letters) that condemn the impact of contem- cessful than her own husband. Sandhya’s envy is quickly porary popular culture on women. “Unwed and Pregnant checked, however, when her husband Kishore explains, at 18” attributed a ten-percent increase in teenage preg- “Leela would probably give everything to exchange places nancies to “popular nighttime soaps on TV” that are “like a with you, because you have a husband who would be faith- game of musical beds” and encourage young women to be ful even if you, like her, could not bear children” (Ved sexually promiscuous (Jayaraman 2002:41). The conclusion 1965: 14). Kishore’s assertion is confirmed for Sandhya just of the provocatively titled article stated that such women weeks later, when Leela commits suicide to allow her hus- pay the price of their transgressions through social exclu- band to marry another woman who is pregnant with his sion and ostracism. child.

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A second story published over a decade later with the warded, as is Preeti, who hides her love for Shyam to avoid same title begins when two women open their apartment disrupting his engagement to her best friend, Sheila. This doors at the same time, making eye contact for just a brief dilemma causes no small amount of suffering to love-struck moment. Each of the women later constructs an elaborate Preeti, who cannot help but see the loss of her beloved to her fantasy about the other’s life and wishes that she had the best friend as part of a larger pattern of tragic events in her same freedoms and privileges as the other. Suneetha, the life: stay-at-home mother, looks at her neighbor Neela, an un- married professional woman, and thinks, “What wouldn’t One part of her, the calm and logical Preeti, kept telling I give to be like her?” whereas unmarried Neela sees a herself, “Shyam belongs to Sheila and he must never “beautiful and contented woman” in her married neigh- know what I feel about him.” This part of her had al- bor and “wished she too had the security of husband and ways accepted every setback in her life as something that was preordained and therefore, inevitable. It was home” (Ramakrishna 1977:23). In both of these stories, fe- this quality that had made her keep calm when she had male characters who transgress boundaries are punished lost her father in a car accident. But there was the other with profound unhappiness because of their inability to ful- half of Preeti, the intensely emotional girl who yearned fill the socially constructed feminine duties of marriage and for a love so perfect that she wanted it to fill her whole motherhood. The message to readers is clearly that appear- life. And that was exactly how she felt about Shyam. ances are quite deceiving and that true happiness can only [Tandon 1965:16] be found in the orderly boundaries of the family. This theme is reinforced by stories that feature women Preeti successfully hides her feelings from Shyam, and paying a heavy price for passionate acts, such as the house- as soon as his engagement to Sheila is formally announced, maid Kannamma, who spends a decade trying to hide that she receives notice that she has been offered a prestigious she is the mother of a boy fathered through her illicit af- job in a faraway city. As Preeti packs her suitcase, she hap- fair with the zamindar (wealthy landowner) of her village.4 pily reassures herself by noting, “Marriages are made in When a visitor to her employer’s home reveals her real iden- heaven. There will be another Shyam for me someday” tity, she runs away to commit suicide in shame the same day (Tandon 1965:17). Gauri is not so lucky in “The Retreat,” and explains her situation in a lengthy letter she leaves be- which opens with her return to the South Indian state of hind. “Time and time again” the letter begins, “I have real- Kerala after a failed marriage and the death of her only ized that a woman with a past like mine can never have a child in the United States. After visiting her empty child- future. Today’s incident has taught me with a fierce final- hood home, she reminisces about a love affair she had had ity that the world will never accept me. ...Let my shame with a less-educated man in Kerala before leaving India to be buried with me” (Subramanian 1965:15). Malathi also pursue her career. Gauri quickly realizes that her life would faces the dilemma of single motherhood in “The Past” but have been better if she had stayed in Kerala and married her chooses (with her family’s cooperation) to pretend that her true love rather than following a professional path that only daughter Manju is actually her niece. Only when Manju her- led to disappointment and that “nothing could mitigate her self is about to elope with a man who eerily resembles her sorrow and bitterness, as there was a tangible emptiness fill- biological father does Malathi reveal the truth and warn her ing within her, a vacuum that made her feel like throwing daughter that “love is an ennobling emotion, but it is all up” (Nanda 1998:112). Preeti is rewarded with happiness for wrong when it leads you to a fly-by-night affair, a life of choosing work as a means to remove herself from a trouble- shame, a child born out of wedlock and a lifetime of repen- some emotional situation, whereas Gauri is severely pun- tance” (Muthanna 1965a:49). ished for her professional aspirations and presumed inabil- Boundary teasing that does not flout social convention ity to balance her family and her career. quite so overtly is equally warned against, as in the case of Readers take a variety of messages from these often 30-year-old Sheila Singh, who is extremely lonely and ne- less-than-subtle letters, articles, and short stories that func- glected by her busy husband in “An Affair.” Sheila agrees tion to reinforce gender stereotypes while simultaneously to accompany an employee of her husband’s company to generating a forum for women to engage in an anonymous the cinema, only to be blackmailed later with incriminating debate about sexuality and violence against women. The photographs of her alone with a man who is not her hus- key question to be answered next, then, is how Habermas’s band. Unsure what to do, Sheila reveals everything to her “diffuse publics” (1989:42) use such popular cultural mes- husband, who agrees to pay more attention to her in the fu- sages in everyday discourse as a tool with which to nav- ture. “There would be no more playing with fire for Sheila,” igate a gendered world. Female social networks are com- the final line of the story reads, “No, never again” (Sharan plex affairs in Mumbai and take on an almost transgressive 1965:40). If women who “play with fire” are resolutely con- tone at times because women’s numerous obligations to demned in all short stories, women who are able to success- family members and children leave little time for indepen- fully rein in desire for the benefit of others are universally re- dent socializing. When several women of the same age do

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manage to meet in an all-female gathering, it is generally women basically are allowing it to happen by not trying an occasion for great emotional outpourings, the intensity harder to keep him at home. If such women want to be of which is compounded by the necessarily secret nature of women of substance, each should act to keep her marriage their problems. intact.” What caused Anahita to be silent for the rest of this Family life in South Asia requires that women serve as conversation, and how did her participation in the paral- the social barometers of family honor, so the behavior of a lel public sphere through the discussion of the Femina ar- single female reflects on the entire kin group. The difficul- ticle reinforce dominant gender norms? The answer lies in ties faced even by economically privileged women in plan- a key referent in Rani’s response to Anahita: the “woman of ning an all-female outing are compounded not only by obli- substance.” gations to family but also by prohibitions against women The phrase “woman of substance,” which was Femina’s going out at night without a male family member. Although former marketing slogan, has become so much a part of female seclusion is not socially mandated for most women contemporary urban parlance that speakers of regional In- in Mumbai, it is still a reality of life, as women’s behavior is dian languages code switch to include the English-language closely monitored in ways that do not vary significantly in expression in their descriptions of women. On Mumbai intention from more severe restrictions placed on women’s commuter trains, I often heard women use the phrase to freedom of movement elsewhere. refer to particularly notable points in the lives of other This social seclusion also mandates an emotional iso- women, for example, “Jab unke padai khatum ho chuki lation in which the disclosure of secrets invests the hearer hain, woh woman of substance ban jayegi” [After her stud- with greater power and depletes the teller of honor. This ies are completed, she will become a woman of substance]. honor, izzat, is part of a moral economy in which one’s Although the phrase is generally limited to usage solely by actions are never free of implications, and the connection female interlocutors, men also sometimes use it in a hu- between izzat and female seclusion is very important re- morous manner: One man talking to another about a well- gardless of whether it is manifested in the form of modesty known and very beautiful Hindi film actress’s weight gain before elders (Wadley 1994:101) or the careful self-policing used a play on the expression to joke, “She’s gone from a of one’s inner emotions. Izzat is very much a part of the cul- woman of substance to a substantial woman.” tural construction of reality that informs both everyday ur- In her work on popular discourse drawn from Zambian ban and rural life. When men in Mumbai are affronted by radio, Debra Spitulnik (1996:168) recounts a humorous insults in public, some can be heard to exclaim, “Mera izzat anecdote in which a woman responds to her friend’s mo- faluda ho gaya” [My honor has turned into a limp, quivering mentary inattention by exclaiming, “Hello, Kitwe?” in im- noodle], a not-so-subtle expression that conflates male im- itation of a radio announcer attempting to contact Kitwe, potence with public shame. This expression is usually heard a remote region of the Zambian bush. This incorporation when the private has been affronted, for example, when of popular cultural terms and phrases into everyday spo- a man’s female family members have been the recipients ken language is notable in that such expressions, like the of unwanted comments, leers, or physical contact from an “woman of substance,” have mass media as their sole con- unrelated male in a public space, such as a bus station or textual background. The use of such culture- and context- marketplace. It is a response to an insult that underscores bound language is compounded by the social messages that women’s role as the barometers of family izzat and high- necessarily underlie it, and it is thus important to analyze lights how their failure to uphold that honor brings great the choice to employ this kind of discourse. Rachel Dwyer public shame on male and female family members alike. has documented how female readers of Bollywood fan mag- It is because so much is at stake that women use the azines express keen interest in the love affairs (both real and popular cultural messages presented in Femina and else- imagined) of Hindi film actresses because the relative inde- where to discuss actions and issues that would damage a pendence of such women allows readers to discuss hetero- family’s izzat if discussed openly. This was highlighted in sexual relationships, although, in their own lives, “dating is particularly poignant ways for me after I spent an after- restricted, premarital sex is taboo and arranged marriages noon discussing a Femina article on extramarital sex with are the norm” (2000:114). Mass media thus functions as a a group of women including Rani, a classical dance instruc- parallel public sphere that provides individual women with tor, and Anahita, a stay-at-home mother married to a man access to information that may address desires and needs who was rumored by many to be having an affair.5 Neither otherwise not open to discussion. Anahita nor any of the women present made reference to Anahita’s husband throughout the heated conversation that “Prescription”: Assessing the boundaries of the ensued after Anahita forcefully commented, “It’s shock- normal in the parallel public sphere ing how shabbily the husbands in the article treated their wives.” “Actually,” Rani replied, in a vein that effectively si- Habermas (1989:51) emphasizes the important historical lenced Anahita for the rest of the conversation, “I think such function the advent of the novel served in the public sphere

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by providing bourgeois western European families with a their names or addresses in their letters is the avoidance of convenient way to evaluate their individual norms and shame rather than the establishment of a group, they inad- values by reading about the problems and successes of vertently achieve the latter end as well. The sheer volume of fictional families. Contemporary media in Mumbai simi- mail received by “Prescription” indicates an enormous pub- larly allows individuals to engage in private dilemma res- lic desire for specialized and personalized knowledge about olution and the reconciliation of desires with the need to sexuality, and, as a result, the column functions as the most preserve family izzat and an individual public face of moral- egalitarian space in Femina, receiving correspondence from ity. Habermas (1989:51) observes that, in a western Euro- a diverse array of regions and class groups. “Prescription” pean and North American context, “privacy” became in- receives at least 50 times more mail than other columns that creasingly “public” as the state began to fill many of the elicit reader responses, and it is the only section of the mag- roles formerly left to families, for example, providing ed- azine that receives letters written in Indian languages other ucation, health care, and pension plans. Privacy in India than English. Indeed, the column is so popular that, when I is rather limited by cultural practices such as joint-family started work at Femina, I inherited approximately five thou- living arrangements, chaperoning of women and younger sand unopened letters addressed to “Prescription” in a large family members, and the belief that being alone is both un- cardboard box under my desk. healthy and undesirable. My coworkers in the Femina office often joked about Defined as time spent physically alone, privacy is such an enormous volume of mail, and at least one young nonexistent for most Indians, and so it is certainly noth- woman astutely noted she found it paradoxical that “the ing new to think about the externalization of private life in land of the Kama Sutra has all these repressed types writ- a country where families function as self-help cooperatives ing to us in desperation.” Charu Gupta’s (2002) excellent at least in part because the state does not provide other so- work on the historical processes that led to this state of af- cial safety nets. As most Indian women (and men) have no fairs documents how British colonialism played a key role in privacy in the western European and North American cul- making sexuality a taboo topic in India, because Hindu na- tural sense of the right to confidentially ask questions about tionalists strove to create a gendered Indian national iden- taboo situations, even to a family doctor, without fear of in- tity that distinguished itself through discourses of female curring public shame, the sexual advice column “Prescrip- chastity, purdah, early marriage, and regulation of contact tion” serves as a kind of social safety valve that provides a between men and women. Not surprisingly, “Prescription” space for individuals to preserve anonymity and simulta- is also a site of contestation in a society that does not gener- neously gain access to crucial information and advice on ally encourage debates about sexuality in popular culture. their emotional and physical state that other areas of soci- A letter from a young man inquiring about the course of ety (incl. the family) do not provide. action he should take in regard to his mother’s passionate Femina’s popularity situates it within the Habermasian desire to continue their incestuous affair was published un- public sphere, and yet the use of “Prescription” by readers der the title “My Mother Is My Lover Too!” (Kothari 1986: all over India as an anonymous and reliable source of infor- 68), and it prompted a flurry of letters from readers who in- mation on sexuality is very much a part of the parallel pub- sisted that such behavior strayed so far from the boundaries lic sphere in which individuals use mass media as a way to of social acceptability that it should never have been pub- make sense of and deal with pressing personal dilemmas. In lished. A reader from Mumbai insisted in his letter to the reference to what he calls the “secondary realm of intimacy” editor that publication of the young man’s inquiry “could be generated by the mass media, Habermas (1989:172) argues a type of encouragement for others as they will feel that they that individuals become even more conscious of their pri- are not the only ones to whom these things are happening” vacy in the public sphere because of the capacity of the me- (Fernandes 1986:14). Femina respondedtosuchcriticism dia to expose. Curiously, the anonymity of “Prescription” by emphasizing that the very existence of such otherwise works in exactly the opposite manner, not only allowing in- unspeakable dilemmas necessitates a response and, thus, dividuals to use a very public forum to share extremely pri- invoked the idea of the parallel public sphere: “The prob- vate details of their lives but also enabling other readers to lem, an extreme one, is echoed in different degrees in letters benefit from the information provided. we receive for ‘Prescription.’ We published the letter and the In their discussion of publics, Susan Gal and Kathryn solution for the benefit of those who are facing similar situ- Woolard assert that “the voice-from-nowhere may be con- ations, but cannot vocalize their problems” (Patel 1986:14). structed as the most authentic of voices competing for Most letters to “Prescription” fall into four main recognition as the embodiment of a particular community” categories, all of which implicitly address the private (1995:134). It is precisely the meaning of this anonymity consequences of a cultural system that restrains and re- (“the voice-from-nowhere”) that makes the parallel pub- stricts sexuality for women: marital dysfunction, definitions lic sphere so interesting in the context of “Prescription,” of “normal” sexual behavior or characteristics, serious gy- and, although the intention of writers who refuse to provide necological problems, and sexual abuse. The vast majority

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of inquiries deal with the underlying theme of normality ety in which sexuality is not openly discussed, sometimes as part of the parallel public sphere’s cultural negotiation even among close friends, and the closeted behaviors that of perceptions about sexual norms and deviancy, as, in the exist even in the absence of public dialogue about them. absence of reliable information about sexuality from fam- One recently married woman from the town of Sohlapur in ily members and educational institutions, individuals use Maharastra wrote to ask if her sexual relationship with her the column as a means to publicly gauge what is privately brother could be considered normal, because it gave them acceptable. The first of the four major categories enumer- both so much pleasure and, according to her, was infinitely ated above consists of questions regarding what is often superior to the one she had with her husband. A writer glossed as “a happy married life,” an expression that serves from the far eastern state of Nagaland wondered whether as a stand-in for all topics related to sexuality. Mumbai com- her five-year sexual relationship with a much older married muter trains often have advertisements inside their com- woman made her a lesbian and, if so, what being a lesbian partments that use some variation of this phrase in numer- meant. Such letters illustrate the silence that surrounds sex- ous Indian languages to promote herbal tonics that suppos- uality throughout South Asia and the personal turmoil that edly increase male stamina and cure impotency. such lack of dialogue creates for many individuals, as the Many of the questions in this category were from vast majority of them ended with the pleading question, women who were either about to be married or ready to “Doctor Kothari, am I normal?” conceive their first child and were extremely worried about A more pressing category of letters to “Prescription” in- the capacity of one of these events to reveal a potentially cluded requests for detailed responses to questions about damaging secret to a husband. One woman from Delhi gynecological problems and sexually transmitted diseases. wrote about a clandestine abortion she had undergone A writer from the southern city of Chennai explained that prior to marriage and questioned whether it would affect she had been raised as a boy although she was biologically her ability to conceive, a major consideration given that her female, and, as a result, she wished to have a sex change husband was the sole family heir. A similar example from a operation to marry a woman. “Please let me know every woman in Calcutta, who wrote about her dilemma on pink single detail about the surgery, the expenses and the du- stationery printed with butterflies and hearts, dealt with the ration of the treatment,” her letter read, a near impossi- enormous burden she carried with her from a past that she bility given the brief nature of responses in the column. A feared would ruin her future: young woman from the far eastern state of Manipur pre- sented a detailed account of sexual acts her husband had For years I have studied your replies to letters but my engaged in during his visit to a brothel and then asked problem was never included, which impressed me to if he could have contracted HIV through any of the de- write to you myself. When I was small, my neighbor had scribed behaviors. Such accounts seemed to acknowledge sex with me and gave me chocolates in return. I have that the writers had strayed from the boundaries of the nor- never spoken about this and I feel guilty as my marriage mal and suspected that dire consequences awaited them as date approaches. Someone has told me that during the a result. first time of intercourse some blood will come out to The final and most disconcerting category of letters show you are virgin. Please suggest how I can create this blood so my husband will not come to know what has to “Prescription” came from survivors of sexual abuse who happened to me. I would be eagerly waiting for the re- were coping with its psychological consequences. “When ply to my query in the next edition of Femina as I am I was twelve years old,” a letter from Delhi on stationery quite suicidal and depressed. printed with smiling cartoon characters began, “my neigh- bor used to have sex with me, but I also enjoyed it. But now, The desperate, imperative tone of this letter was not at all when I have sex with my husband, I feel guilty.” This inter- unique, as women who are about to be married often in- nalization of guilt by a young woman who had never told quire about how to accurately determine female virginity. A anyone of the abuse she experienced was quite common writer from the city of Amritsar in Punjab mentioned that in others letters, some of which came from men as well as she would commit suicide if her husband could ascertain women. A teenage boy from Bhopal wrote to ask if wak- that she was not a virgin on their wedding night, a statement ing from a drunken stupor to realize that he had been sex- that was disturbingly common in letters from all regions of ually assaulted by a male friend at a party made him gay, India. and another young man from Goa pleaded for advice on The second category of letters addressed to “Prescrip- how to make a woman ten years his senior stop touching tion” dealt with assessments of normality and encompassed him in inappropriate ways. Such admissions from men as a broad range of inquiries, including those related to in- well as women (albeit on a much smaller scale) underscore cest, fertility, and sexual orientation. These types of ques- the reality that the lack of appropriate language and edu- tions highlight both the consequences of living in a soci- cation regarding sexuality has serious implications for all

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individuals, just as violence against women is a phe- ment remains a very controversial issue, and the “Rape!” ar- nomenon that impacts everyone in society. ticle argued that

“The train rape” and “the Salman–Aishwarya the rise in the number of rape cases is a reminder that split”: Violence against women and the parallel any change in India’s urban milieu is largely superficial. public sphere People may wear fancy clothes, drive sleek cars, live in snazzy homes and have well-paid jobs but the same in- In early September 2002, a young woman was sexually tellectually limiting cultural fixtures remain wired into assaulted on a Mumbai commuter train, an event that their behavior. Today’s male may come in better pack- ages as a father, lover, husband or boyfriend, but inside shocked the city at large and sparked an explosive public he is still an uncouth voyeur who, for the sake of blind debate about sexuality and gender relations in contempo- lust or power games, will violate the fundamental rights rary urban India. The victim, a 15-year-old impoverished of the other sex and subject them to a lifetime of hu- migrant from South India, had been raped in midafternoon miliation. Contemporary women who frequent pubs, in full view of the other passengers, who did nothing to stop clubs and salons or social service institutions to em- the attack. The event, which quickly became known as “the power themselves and the rest of society are still bat- train rape,” focused attention on sexual violence and cre- tling to breathe free in a masculine universe. [Vasudev ated a huge debate about the safety of women in the city. and Methil 2002:24] The cover of the popular magazine India Today published shortly after the incident screamed “Rape!” (Vasudev and The language used in this passage asserts that, as young Methil 2002) in large red letters transposed over a photo- women seek “to empower themselves and the rest of soci- graph of a group of scantily clad young women dancing in ety,” their presence in public space is simultaneously ac- a nightclub, a curious choice of image that reveals how a companied by the persistent threat of male violence. While single event opened an infinitely broader discussion in the sitting in the ladies’ compartment of a Mumbai commuter Habermasian public sphere of the media about sexual vio- train on my way to work at Femina one morning, I shared lence and appropriate roles for women. The event also cre- this India Today article with a group of three young women ated a debate in the parallel public sphere about how in- on their way to college. Excerpts from their conversation il- dividual women should appropriately respond to the threat lustrate how participation in the parallel public sphere al- of sexual violence. The cover caption of that particular India lows women to contest boundaries a bit while simultane- Today issue read, “Male attitudes haven’t been able to keep ously reinforcing gender norms. pace with women’s choices” (Vasudev and Methil 2002: As the only public space reserved exclusively for 23) and was juxtaposed with a photograph of the Mum- women, the ladies’ compartment is especially conducive bai commissioner of police in which he seemed to point to participation in the parallel public sphere because it an angry finger in the direction of the image of the danc- presents individual women with the opportunity to create a ing young women. The commissioner’s provocative asser- temporally and spatially bounded community within which tion that “crimes against women will halve if they are care- to discuss issues of interest that may not be dealt with in ful about what they wear and know their limits” (Vasudev their homes. Working women and men alike in Mumbai and Methil 2002:23) was printed in red letters beneath his often speak of “train friends” with whom they spend 45- photograph. minute to three-hour commutes from the suburbs in the Spitulnik has argued that communications in mass me- north of the city to offices and colleges in the south and who dia “are preceded and succeeded by numerous other dia- are, notably, individuals that commuters do not have any logues ...that both implicate them and render them inter- other contact with in other areas of their life. “Train friends” pretable” (1996:161), which emphasizes how media forms in the ladies’ compartment range from young women who and discourses emerge from a social context that allows commute from the suburbs to colleges in the city center viewers and listeners to make sense of them. The success to older working women who help each other peel vegeta- of media is dependent on audience reception and under- bles they have purchased at the market en route to cook standing, and, thus, media must draw cultural language dinner for their families at home. In the parallel public from everyday practices as much as it informs these prac- sphere of the ladies’ compartment, dominant gender norms tices in turn.6 This line of reasoning underlies the cultural are both contested and reinforced, and the conversation logic that enables the seemingly presumptuous leap from between the young women commuting to college about news reports about the public rape of an impoverished mi- the India Today article on “the train rape” demonstrates grant girl to a public debate about whether the relatively that, although women may feel relatively free to speak their privileged young women shown dancing on the magazine minds in a relatively anonymous space, dominant norms cover should be allowed out at night. “The train rape” in- often overwhelm more controversial points of view about stantly became symbolic of how women’s freedom of move- gender. In the space of just a few minutes, the three young

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women on their way to college expressed a variety of re- a bunch of bloody kings” and the women’s laughter at the sponses to “the train rape” that invoked an anonymous story of the used sanitary napkin both contest the “right” young woman (glossed as “this girl”) who had been con- of men to harm women who transgress these boundaries, fronted with a very real threat of sexual violence while but the remainder of the comments, by and large, reinforce commuting: gendered norms about women’s need to protect themselves from the threat of sexual violence via modest dress and Speaker One: Actually, I know this girl and she was in a mad travel in groups. rush one morning to get to her college and there was no The debate surrounding “the train rape” quickly gave space in the ladies’ [compartment] so she thought “oh, way to talk of another controversy featured daily in every I’ll just ride in the men’s [compartment], it will only take Mumbai newspaper in the month of October 2002 that dealt fifteen minutes.” You can imagine what happened, na? with the tumultuous demise of a love affair between actress Speaker Two: What a bunch of MCPs [male chauvinist pigs]. and former Miss India Aishwarya Rai and Bollywood ac- They think they are a bunch of bloody kings who can do tion hero Salman Khan. The story began with reports that what they want, na? Khan had stormed angrily onto film sets and threatened Speaker Three: Listen, na? I know this girl, and she had just Rai’s male costars and that he had physically abused Rai got down from the [commuter train] station and it had in at least one instance. News commentators and individ- gone dark. One of those cheap types grabbed her and uals alike generally attributed this behavior to the “pres- tried to push her behind the station, so in her despera- sure” that Khan was under in his relationship with such a tion she removed her soiled sanitary napkin and threw it beautiful actress. The story of what became known as “the in his face so she could run away. Salman–Aishwarya split” not only had specific reporters as- [Speakers One, Two, and Three laugh] signed to it at several Mumbai newspapers but also drew on Speaker Two: Listen, na? My sister told me about this girl tensions between Hindu India and Muslim Pakistan to de- who had just got down from the train [at the station] pict Khan as the stereotypical aggressive Muslim man and wearing a mini [skirt] and all those kachra log [lit. garbage Rai as the delicate, demure Hindu woman. Public interest in people] tried to fondle her. Those cheap types think if you the embattled relationship reached a crescendo when an in- show a little skin you want it. toxicated Khan crashed his imported sports car into a bak- Speaker Three: That’s how men are, isn’t it? ery near his home, killing three workers who slept on the Middle-aged woman seated nearby: Girls, that’s why you sidewalk outside. must never travel on the train alone. Anything could I witnessed women of all ages in the ladies’ com- happen. partment spend an hour or more of their commute in Speakers One and Three: (almost in unison) We don’t, speculation about “the Salman–Aishwarya split” on at least aunty. We stick together with other girls on the train as six separate occasions, offering reasons for it ranging from a result of things like this. Khan’s alcoholism to accusations that Rai had used their The nuanced nature of this conversation and the relationship to further her film career. One woman in the speakers’ ready production of related examples reveal that ladies’ compartment clucked her tongue disapprovingly the fear of sexual violence is certainly nothing new; the and said, “You know, I think he’s really gone mad!” to which young women had a wealth of stories and opinions to of- another woman responded in Hindi, “Nahin,¯ woh divana¯ fer that they normally would not have shared in public. ban gay¯ a”¯ [No, he’s turned into a lover], a statement that Interestingly, the actual victim in the India Today article made all of the women in earshot burst into laughter. did not feature at all in the young women’s conversation, The word divana¯ (male lover) carries with it a complex which, instead, centered on stories about sexual violence constellation of understandings and beliefs about how men in which some variation of “I know this girl” was used as in love are believed to be uniquely predisposed to a loss a preface by three separate speakers as a demonstration of the capacity for reason and rational thought, a tendency of a felt need to put a discursive distance between them- toward self-destructive heartbreak and dangerous passion selves and the violated. The use of “the train rape” to dis- that is inherently debilitating. Hindi films are replete with cuss the threat of such violence demonstrates how norms the cultural stereotype of the devastated, heartbroken man are reinforced and contested in the parallel public sphere, who drinks himself to death. The woman in the ladies’ as Speaker Three’s definitive “That’s how men are, isn’t it?” compartment was communicating much more than the effectively naturalizes fear of rape as a “normal” part of ev- idea that Khan had become a fool for love; in fact, she eryday life for all women. Such discussions are critical for was implying that his passion for Rai had directly led young women, who may not have other opportunities to him to commit vehicular manslaughter. The use of the contest gendered prohibitions against traveling alone and word divana¯ effectively normalized all of Khan’s irrational may value the opinions of their peers more than those of behavior, and the consensus held that any man in love with their family members. The assertion “They think they are a woman as beautiful as Rai was destined to be locked in an

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eternal prison of jealousy. Khan was never brought to trial badly should not be admired by anyone. I wonder, what for the deaths of the three bakery workers and reportedly hope is there for the rest of us if even beautiful, rich and paid their families approximately three hundred dollars famous Aishwarya Rai cannot speak her mind against each to “compensate” for their losses. abuse? The case of “the Salman–Aishwarya split” vanished from the Habermasian public sphere of the media approx- This letter was sobering in its chastisement of both Rai and imately two weeks after the deaths of the bakery workers society at large for “allowing” women to be abused without at least in part because of Rai’s lack of public comment on public intervention in what are ostensibly “private” lives, the entire controversy. However, the relationship remained and it underscores just how profoundly such events affect a subject of interest in the parallel public sphere for a much women who participate in the parallel public sphere. longer period of time, during which it gave rise to a new kind of language that allowed for the expression of sentiments Concluding thoughts surrounding love and sexuality not normally spoken about in public or in families. Just as “the train rape” opened a Fraser (1997:137) contends that feminist reinterpretations debate about women’s safety, “the Salman–Aishwarya split” of Habermas demonstrate unequal power relations in the became a signifier identifiable to participants in the paral- public sphere by exposing the subordination and weakness lel public sphere. Jean Baudrillard (1995) refers to the use of of particular publics vis-a-vis` others and illuminating how signifiers as indexes individuals use to make sense of social social inequality informs the character of public delibera- trends and messages that affect them. The use of signifiers tion about a given subject. My research builds on Fraser’s as an endorsement and communication of power demon- work by acknowledging that, although the parallel public strates the prerogative of control at the level of the individ- sphere I discuss in this article is, indeed, subordinate to ual, community, state, and nation in the way such symbols dominant masculinist ideologies about the need to control become embedded in the emotional lives of women (and and police female sexuality, this relative weakness does not men, to a lesser degree) at all socioeconomic levels. Signi- limit its potential to help individual women navigate a sex- fiers replicate greater schema of power in the parallel pub- ist society. Although what Fraser calls the “weak character” lic sphere in a simplified form so that debates about sexu- (1997:37) of marginal public spheres removes their practical ality often serve to reinforce rather than contest culturally force in society, my research shows that they can also serve entrenched beliefs about gender. as an outlet and a diffuse network for women to grapple Women of all economic backgrounds used the exam- with pressing personal dilemmas that cannot be discussed ple of Khan’s behavior as a means by which to begin a openly. It is crucial to acknowledge that the parallel pub- veiled discussion about an abusive husband or boyfriend so lic sphere is, indeed, granted a low level of importance by that, by gauging other women’s reactions to Khan’s notori- a sexist society, corresponding to the lack of power granted ous actions, the female interlocutor could then extend her to women. However, because of social norms that prohibit analogy to come to a decision about how to handle what such discourse elsewhere, the parallel public sphere is also was actually a very personal problem. Women in Mumbai a critical site for what is essentially the only public discus- began to describe male partners of women in their ex- sion in India about female sexuality and violence against tended friendship networks as “one of those Salman Khan women. types” and sometimes referred to such relationships as “to- tal Khan-troversy,” a play on the word controversy, to de- scribe an undesirable partnership, as in “Those two are tan- gled up in a complete and utter Khan-troversy.” Shortly after Notes the media lost interest in “the Salman–Aishwarya split,” an Acknowledgments. I would like to thank the two anonymous AE anonymous letter with no return address arrived at Femina reviewers for their enormously helpful suggestions in improving that succinctly expressed both the impact of popular cul- this article, as well as Linda Forman for her careful attention to de- ture on private lives and the social messages about gen- tail in editing. der norms perpetuated by the extensive media coverage of 1. I gathered data presented in this article during the course of a Fulbright-Hays fellowship in India. I was the editor of “Pre- the case: scription” at Femina magazine for four months and engaged in participant-observation in Mumbai for almost two years. 2. Even in the classic Habermasian public sphere of politics, To my mind, the personal life of a celebrity like these lines are not at all clear: Former New York State Governor Aishwarya Rai gives the wrong signals to men about Eliot Spitzer, for example, resigned from office because of popular treating women shabbily. I appeal to Femina to recon- pressure after the media revealed that, despite his numerous social- sider the kind of women they choose as role models justice and antipornography initiatives, he had paid a prostitute for our people, as any woman with so much beauty, for sex. His case then prompted a flurry of articles and private and power and fame who is allowing a man to treat her so public discussions about American marriages. The lines between

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private and public were certainly not clearly drawn in Spitzer’s case, 1997 Rethinking the Public Sphere. In Justice Interruptus: Crit- and perhaps they never really are. ical Reflections on the Postsocialist Condition. Nancy Fraser, 3. The magazine is certainly not respected by Hindu national- ed. Pp. 26–48. New York: Routledge. ists, who view events such as Miss India and publications such as Frederick, Sarah Femina as “Western” and, thus, undesirable. For a more in-depth 2006 Turning Pages: Reading and Writing Women’s Magazines in discussion of this contested phenomenon, see Dewey 2008. Interwar Japan. Honolulu: University of Hawai‘i Press. 4. This story is notable for the depth of transgressions inherent Gal, Susan, and Kathryn Woolard in an affair between a zamindar and a poor village girl, as such a 1995 Constructing Languages and Publics: Authority and Repre- relationship crosses taboo lines of caste and class, not to mention sentation. Pragmatics 5(2):129–138. ideas of the impropriety of premarital sex and single motherhood. Gangoli, Geetanjali, and Gopika Solanki 5. Rani and Anahita, whose names I have changed to protect 1998 Are You a Victim of Violence Too? Femina, March 1: 149–150. their privacy, were two of my key consultants during my fieldwork Gough-Yates, Anne in Mumbai. Although both were relatively privileged because of 2003 Understanding Women’s Magazines: Publishing, Markets their English-language education and self-identification as “mid- and Readership. New York: Routledge. dle class,” the messages they transmitted about izzat and women’s Gupta, Charu responsibilities to behave in particular ways transcend class in pro- 2002 Sexuality, Obscenity, Community: Women, Muslims, and found ways. the Hindu Public in Colonial India. New York: Palgrave. 6. 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