Modern Irish Anecdotes
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NOVELS AT TWO SHILLINGS. By LORD LYTTON. Pelham. Ernest Maltravers. My Novel. Vol. 2. Paul Clifford. Alice; or, The Mys- Lucretia. Eugene Aram. Devereux. [teries. Harold. Last Days of Pompeii. Night and Morning. Zanoni. Rienzi. Godolphin. What will hel)o with Leila, and Pilgrims of The Disowned. It. Vol. I. the Rhine. The Caxtons. Ditto. Vol. 2. Last of the Barons. My Novel. Vol. I. A Strange Story. By ALBERT SMITH. The Marchioness of Brinvilliers. Christopher Tadpole. The Adventures of Mr. Ledbury. The Pottleton Legacy. The Scattergood Family. By HENRY COCKTON. Valentine Vox. | George Julian. | Stanley Thorn. By MISS WETHERELL. The Old Helmet. The Two School-Girls. Ellen Montgomery's Bookshelf. The Wide, Wi_de World. Melbourne House. Queechy. By the AUTHOR of " WHITEFRIARS." Whitefriars. I Caesar Borgia. I Maid of Orleans. Whitehall. I Owen Tudor. | Westminster Abbey By ALEXANDRE DUMAS. The Half-Brothers. The Three Musketeers. Marguerite de Valois. Twenty Years After. Vicomte de Bragelonne. Vols. I Monte Cristo. {2s. 6d.) and 2 {es, 6d. each). The Forty-five Guardsmen. By JAMES GRANT. Romance of War. Lucy Arden, or Holly Constable of France. The Aide-de-Camp. wood Hall. King'sOwnBorderers. Scottish Cavalier. I Frank Hilton; or, The White Cockade. Bolhwell. [vol. The Queen's Own. Dick Rodney. [Love. Jane Seton ; or, The The Yellow Frigate. First Love and Last Queen's Advocate. Harry Ogilvie; or, The Girl he Married. Philip Rollo. TheBlackDragoons. Lady Wedderburn's Legends of the Black Arthur Blane. Jack Manly. [Wish. Watch. Laura Everingham. Only an Ensign. Mary of Lorraine. Captain of the Guard. Adventures of Rob Oliver Ellis ; or. The Letty Hyde's Lover.s. Roy. Fusiliers. Cavaliers of Fortune. Under theRedDragon Phantom Regiment. Second to None. The Queen's Cadet. Published by George Routledge and Sons. NOVELS AT TWO SH\LLmGS.—Continued. By FIELDING and SMOLLETT FIELDING. SMOLLETT. Tom Jones. Roderick Random. Joseph Andrews. Humphrey Clinker. Amelia. Peregrine Pickle. Million of Money. FERRIER. ige. ROBERT W WOODRUFF tance. I Jack Adams. LIBRARY LOVER. More, ^ndy. oung Commander C. LONG. enant's Story. Ashton. ; Hussar. Arrow, [imself. I Sports in the ighlands. I Sports in the est. ND YATES. Gauntlet, .od. By THEODORE HOOK. Peregrine Bunce. The Widow and the Passion and Principle. Cousin Geoffry. Marquess. Mcrton. Gilbert Gurney. Gurney Married. Gervase Skinner. Parson's Daughter. Jack Brag. Cousin William. All in the Wrong. Maxwell. Fathers and Sons. Man of Many Friends. Published by George Routledge and Sons. NOVELS AT TWO SHILLINGS.—C<?«//««^^- By G. P. R. JAMES The Brigand. _ The King's Highway. Gowrie. Morley Emstein. Castle of Ehrenstein. The Robber. Damley. The Stepmother. The Smuggler. Richelieu. Forest Days. Heidelberg. The Gipsy. The Huguenot The Forgery. Arabella Stuart. The Man-at-Arms. The Gentleman of the The Woodman. A Whim and its Con Old Schooft Agincourt. sequences. Philip Augustus. Russell. The Convict. The Black Eagle. By RICHARDSON, (is. 6d. each.) Clarissa Harlowe. | Pamela. | SirCharlesGrandison, By Mrs. TROLLOPE. Petticoat Government, Widow Married. Widow Bamaby. Bamabys in America. Love and Jealousy. By VARIOUS AUTHORS Caleb Williams. The Attache, by Sam Cruise upon Wheels. Scottish Chiefs. Slick. False Colours, by Torlogh O'Brien. Matrimonial Ship Annie Thomas. Hour and the Man, wrecks. Nick of IheWoods; or, by Miss Martineau. Lewell Pastures. theFightingQuaker Tylney Hall. Zohrab, the Hostage. Stretton, by Henry Ladder of Gold, by The Two Baronets. Kingsley. R. Bell. Whom to Marry, with Mabel Vaughan. Millionaire (The) of i Cruikshank's plates. Banim's Peep-o'-Day. Mincing Lane. • The Man of Fortune. Smuggler. Colin Clink. Letter Bag of the Stuart of Dunleath, by Salathiel, byDr.Croly Great Western. Hon. Mrs. Norton. Clockmaker. {2s.6d.) Black and Gold. Adventures of a Strol Manoeuvring Mother. Vidocq, the French ling Player. Phineas Quiddy. Police Spy. Solitary Hunter. The Pirate of the Singleton Fontenoy. Kaloolah, by W. S. Mediterranean. Lamplighter. Mayo. The Pride of Life. ! Gideon Giles, the Patience Strong. Who is to Have it ? Roper. Cavendish, by author The Bashful Irishman. Guy Livingstone. of " Will Watch." Deeds, not Words. Sir Victor's Choice. Will Watch, by ditto. The Secret of a Life. Outward Bound. Reminiscences of a The Iron Cousin; or, The Flying Dutchman Physician. Mutual Influence. Dr. Goethe's Court Won in a Canter, by The Young Curate. ship. Old Calabar. The Greatest Plague Clives of Burcot. Mornings at Bow of Life, with Cruik- The Wandering Jew. Street, with plates shank's plates. Mysteries of Paris. byGeo.Cruikshank The Green Hand. Land and Sea Tales. Published by George Routledge and Sons, THE BOOK OF MODERN IRISH ANECDOTES, EDITED BY PATRICK KENNEDY, AUTHOR OF " THE FIRESIDE AND BARDIC STORIES OF IRELAND,' " THE BANKS OF THE BORO," " EVENINGS IN THE DUFFREV," ETC. ETC " By Mahomet," said Sultan Solyman, " That ragged fellow is my very man." SIR WALTER SCOTT. LONDON: GEORGE ROUTLEDGE AND SONS, THE BROADWAY, LUDGATE. NEW YORK: 416, BROOME STREET. ROUTLEDGE'S ANECDOTE LIBRARY. In foolscap ivo, fancy hoards, THE BOOK OF MODERN ENGLISH ANECDOTES. Edited by ToM HoOD. THE BOOK OF MODERN IRISH ANECDOTES. Edited by PATRICK KENNEDY. THE BOOK OF MODERN SCOTCH ANECDOTES. Edited by J. ALLAN MAIR. THE BOOK OF MODERN LEGAL ANECDOTES. Edited by JOHN TIMES. THE BOOK OF MODERN THEATRICAL ANECDOTES. Edited by PERCY FITZGERALD. THE BOOK OF MODERN AMERICAN ANECDOTES. Edited by HOWARD PAUL. And each in One Volume, crown 8vo, cloth, THE BOOK OF MODERN ANECDOTES. ENGLISH—IRISH—SCOTCH, THE BOOK OF MODERN ANECDOTES. LEGAL—THEATRICAL—AMERICAN. PREFACE. THE numerous collections of this kind extant, each heralded by its preface, have agreeably removed from the present com piler any obligation of bespeaking his readers' favour by an elaborate introduction. Like its predecessors, this Irish medley has no higher ambition than that of agreeably occupying a leisure hour during quiet evenings at home, or periods of forced inaction in steamboat or railway carriage. If, when read out in a family circle, it interests and amuses its young and old hearers, the editor's self-complacency will be still further augmented. The EngUsh and Scotch and the present Irish compilation, taken in combination with each other, must contribute to some extent in drawing the social bonds which unite the three peoples still closer. Every one of the compilers has had at heart to bring forward the more estimable qualities of his subjects, their ludicrous faults and failings serving merely as a shady background to enhance the brighter tints of the picture. It has entered into the present writer's design to draw the attention of his readers to the principal events in the history Of his country since the revolution of 1691, and to refresh iv PREFACE, the portraits of the most remarkable characters who, well or ill, played out their allotted parts during the same period. The little prefatorial speech being now spoken, nothing remains to be done but to refer to the chief works from which materials have been borrowed. These are—Doctor R. R. Madden's " History of Irish Periodical Literature;" Mr. W. J. Fitzpatrick's " Sham Squire," and its sequel, " Ireland before the Union;" Mr. J. T. Gilbert's "Streets of Dublin," from the " Irish Quarterly Review ;" Sir Jonah Barrington's " Per sonal Recollections;" Papers by Mr. P. J. Murray in the " Irish Quarterly Review;" " Recollections of Ireland," by Mr. M.; and the "Bar Life of O'Connell," by Mr. J. R. O'Flanagan; and " Ireland Sixty Years Ago," by the late Rt. Hon. Edward Walsh, Master of the Rolls. MODERN IRISH ANECDOTES. the victory for him, and being IRISH PRONUNCIATION. asked what he wished to be done for himself, he answered . THE Irish of our day complain " I wish to be made a justice o' of the treatment of their pro de pashe agra."—" But Teague, nunciation by American and Eng you would not be fit for the lish writers, who remorselessly place."—" Oh fait, I will sho. I drag such words as praste, thafe, can make my mark, and take de and •paither out of their mouths oats (oaths). I vill be a very to their great disgust. It is pro honesht man meshelf, and keep bable that they were no better a great rogue for a clerk." In a off in the end of the seventeenth modern farce Teague would have century. Their own countryman, to say kape, poor George Farquhar (1678— N.B.—No Irish peasant mis 1707), could afford no better pronounces ie or ee. pronunciation nor phraseology to Teague in the " Twin Rivals" than the following:— JAMES II. AT THE BOYNE. " Yesh agra, I'm a great thra- veller. I did visit France and THE last monarch of the Shpain agra. I did kish de Stuart line is scarcely a greater Pope's toe: dat 'ill excuse all de favourite with Irish Catholics sins I commit in dis life, and fen than with English Protestants. I'm dead Shaint Patrick 'ill Our peasantry can afford him excuse de rest." no more respectable title than Teague is suborned to swear Shamus a choka. (Natives of that his own master is the England will do well in not at younger of two brothers, but tempting to pronounce this last when the trial comes on, and he word, nor seek after its mean sees him grieved and surprised ing.) The poor king has been at his treachery, he acknow wrongly suspected of cowardice ledges before the Court that he by both parties. He was pos has received a bribe, which he sessed both of personal courage offers to share with his dear and military capacity, but Eng master. Having, by his good- lishmen lay nearer to his heart natured blundering, obtained than Irishmen, and he could set MODERA IRISH ANECDOTES, no more than half his abilities let these mere Irish depart with at work when in command out some punishment.